Bad Friends - Bobby Is Distressed

Episode Date: July 6, 2026

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You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots? White dude and an Asian dude. You two are disgusting. You two are something. We're bad friends. Oh my God. How long was I in the bathroom when we...

At the restaurant. So long. 20 minutes. At the restaurant. The moment I took my last bite, I was like, uh, I had to go immediately. That was bad news bears. I should have wrote that girl and been like not a good recommendation. Yeah.

My stomach, the moment I finished my... eggs. I was like, hmm, I think this is, I think this is bad. Are you being real? We both. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was at that restaurant. Mine was prolonged. His was, yeah, his was an hour later. Yeah. He got. Was yours loose or did you have to dude? I want to know the consistency. You ever been to Niagara Falls? Now I get. Identical. I understand. Identical. I understand. I understand. Yeah. I do Pompeii. Yeah, yeah, mine are Pompeii, but you do a Niagara Falls. Niagara. Yeah. Mine's an explosion. Dude, that reminds me.

Well, let me just do what I want to add on to the poop. Go, yeah, more poop stuff. Yeah, yeah. So last night I'm having dinner with my friend Gene. Hong. And Andrea Jin hangs out. Gin. Yeah.

And we're sitting there. We're eating at a nice Korean barbecue, right? And she's sort of like repositioning. Shifting. She's shifting. Shit shifting. Yeah, she is like titanic plates. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like the world is doing. And by the way, it's going to break eventually. Yeah, exactly. Those plates keep touching each other. There's also like icebergs detaching from, you know, there's some stuff going on here. But anyway, let's get back to... Yeah, I'm an environmentalist. I like it.

I really am. You are. You are. I mean, super al-a-lino, the whole thing. All right. Anyway, things are shifting. But my point is, is this. She's shifting in her chair and I go, you got...

And she's like, I do. I go, well, they have a bathroom here. And she goes, I don't do public bathrooms. Oh, I know that, yeah. And I go... You live pretty far away. I know. I just, I'm fine.

I go, no, I can tell when shift people are shifting. You can tell a shit shift. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I go, you have eight minutes. It's going to break away. You see the doomsday clock? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And she goes, you're right.

And she just gets up, gets in her car. And then when she texts me later, she goes, I was right on time. And I knew the shifts. You know what I mean? I know about environmental shifts. I also know about shit, shit. Eight minutes. Eight minutes.

She got raised home. You've been there. Oh, my God. The timing is like, if it was a second, you know what I mean? Later, it would have been a disaster. Yes. Yeah. Chernobyl.

Chernobyl. It would have been the end of the end of the end. I did that one. On the way from the airport, I threw up in my front yard. I got all the way to the house, got out of my car. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And my dog came out. Yeah, they're confused about it.

They have no idea why you throw up. When you throw up in front of a dog, they do like this. Yeah. Why do people leave Chernobyl? Yeah, they shouldn't have taken off? I'm just saying... Stick around. No, what I'm saying is, I saw the Chernobyl HBO show.

That was a great show, right? But what I'm saying is there's a wildlife there. Of course. Yeah, and there are wolves and dogs. They're blue. Five. That's great. Right?

They're blue, right? Yeah, blue dog. But they're alive and they survived, right? So why can't we have white walkers over there? Blue people. Blue people. Oh, that's a mouth on the side of its face. Yeah, yeah.

That one's tough. That one's hard. Oh, speaking of that photo, I'm going to tell you another thing. I was, I want to say this the other day. Right? We talked about simulations the other day. We did. Do we not?

Yeah. I know you had other things to say. Am I interrupting you? No. I'd like you to, I don't even remember what I was thinking. I will give you the opportunity to talk right now. I don't want it. What are you going to say about simulations?

I'll tell you what I'm going to tell you about simulations. Tell me, tell me. And you try to explain this. Got it. All right. So there's a legend by my neighborhood. And there's a deep legend. Only in your neighborhood.

Only in my neighborhood is a legend. Okay. And there's a legend that there's a coyote, right, with a tumor on its face. Tumor on its face? Just like a big lump on its... No. It's elephant man. Yeah.

There's a couple of jokes I want to say that I can't say, I'm going to have to cut them out. So I'm not even going to say them, right? But it's elephant man, you know? And it's like... then a month ago or two months ago Kalila my ex goes I saw it and she took a photo of it and tumor

coyote tumor right but then I was with my girlfriend and we're driving on the street and he's standing in the middle of the road right and he has a bird hanging out on his head oh yeah not moving it wasn't like flying around his head like flies or whatever

it was just like Do you have a picture of this? No, I don't have a picture of it. How did you not capture a bird on a coyote? Because I'm not, I don't work for National Geographic. You quit that job? I quit that job, too. Yeah, yeah.

I don't like rainforests. Okay. Yeah, yeah, I get sweaty, you know, and I break out. You mean, so, but there was a bird just chilling, a white bird. And I have my girlfriend to defend, she saw it too. I go, that's interesting. Once again, the white's riding on the back of somebody. I know.

Just riding on the backs of a brown. Brown, you know, tumor-faced. Well, he's doing all the work. He's doing all the white. No, but she was, the grower was just chilling, and I'm like, that's never been seen in nature. I've never seen something. I've never seen anything like.

No, it never goes there. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it never does happen. But that's what I saw. Is that incredible? It's amazing. Is that a simulation or is that just life magic? A little bit of life magic, but I do believe simulation comes into play there for sure. Yeah.

What is that? Is that an, look at, look at the black dog right there, that you had it on the point. This is going to make. make me so sad. No, the one down, right there. Yeah, that one, right there. That's what, what it looks like this? What?

No, that. I like that. Yes. You do like it? I would, because I like, I like animals that have a little, what do they call it? Tumor. What did Bobby from King and Hill called Wabi Sabby? Yeah, Wabi Sabby.

Dog's got a little bit of Wabi zombie. So now imagine a coyote with a white bird on its head. What does it mean when you see a white bird on another animal? It's got, maybe this is a. It's a symbiotic relationship. But it could be, it could be, have a deeper meaning socially. What does it mean when you see a white bird

sitting on another animal? Oh, seeing a white bird, getting on another animal usually points to mutualism in nature. The bird eats ticks and parasites off the animal. It represents a spiritual omen of peace, purity, and an unexpected partnership. So it does happen.

Happens a lot. Is that a simulation? No, it happens a lot. Yeah. Symbiosis. Symbiosis. Okay. Ecological symbiosis.

What? It's like when, like, you know, those free those free loading fish that ride on whales I don't know what you I think

they call it like the Lees or the Bobby Lee yeah yeah yeah sucker fish I don't know yeah soccer fish Ramoros

yeah anyway they they take a free ride that's great yeah that's me yeah for sure yeah

and I don't take offense of that no you shouldn't yeah yeah you know I'll be honest with you my whole life has been

clinging onto somebody else's shirt and just just going, keep going. Soccerfish. I'm a sucker fish. You're a remora. Right.

And I suck the soul and nutrients from whoever I'm riding. Right. Right. And then when they're deflating, I grab another shirt. Genius. Right. Keep going. What?

We feel it. Yeah. You do. You're not somebody who clinging to. Ever. You cling on to me. Yeah, yeah. And I'm trying to take a scissors and all right.

You cut right through his, is a Uall shirt. Yeah. Yeah. You think that you're, I'm clinging on to you? Yeah, you're playing out to meet it. No, no, no, no, you guys are clinging on to us, right? Who's clinging the most?

Yeah. Both you. You're clinging on to both of us. Yeah, one hand on each shirt. And what is McCone doing? Yeah. Like, dragging us down to. Yeah. No, no, who are you?

You're clinging on to Andrew obviously the most, right? But there's no hand on my shirt. No, there's like a finger. Oh, there's a hook. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's interesting because last night I asked you, you know what I mean? a very friendship-like question. It was nice.

It was a nice interaction. Then we had a little phone phone. Yeah. I started talking and you started laughing. He said, never mind. I don't know why I called you. Yeah, because you said you had an old soul. Yeah, the old soul thing's annoying.

It's annoying. Yeah, yeah. We're not doing the list again. You said interesting, though. I know, but I understand that, but we're not doing the list. He also said, is that to start the show. You're already at $10. I know.

I just did an Elmo laugh. Yeah. No, 55 bucks I owe you already, all right? So that's it. We're not playing this thing. McCone slept over on my house and I didn't want to have to wash the sheets again. So we asked him politely to sleep on the floor and he did. He slept on the floor.

Why are you sleeping at Andrew's house? Because we had to leave at 5 in the morning. Yeah. We had to go take a ride. To where? San Diego. You did that show already in Delmar? No, no, no.

I took a ride down there to go do a golf thing and came back. He filmed it. And you filmed it? Yesterday. Yesterday. Down and back. Same day. Got back by 2.10 p.m.

That's a fun ride. It was actually not bad. Yeah. coffee. We had some chats. I tried to teach him some lessons about life and all he wanted to do was rap to the song that was on. Was it Kanye? Who was on when you were annoying was happening? Give me the loot. Give me the loot.

Five more dollars. Wow. Yeah. The funny thing is people are going to think I made him sleep on the floor. Yeah. No, we didn't let him sleep in the house. I said, backyard is top notch for you, pal. You know, we watched social network together, though.

And I, God. Good movie. I had a, you know when you got an itch, you got a scratch? I saw a clip on TikTok of social network and I forgot how much I liked the movie. Yeah. I said, we're going to watch it. So we rented it, watched it.

Aaron Sorkin. Genius. And Fincher combined. Brilliant. It's like, this is like a super team. It's a super team. It's like an unbelievably, from front to back, the movie has zero.

And I mean, zero fat. There wasn't an ounce of, I'm getting bored. Yeah. It's amazing how good that movie is. Well, the reason why Sorkin does not, let actors, you know, improvise is because, no, what I wrote is what I want. And that's why, I mean, I don't know if I told you the story, but remember that other show that he did after West Wing. It was about sketch. Studio 60. Studio 60. So I had an audition with him in the room. And I'd be reading

with Sorkin. And I said, nah. You bailed? Oh, yeah. Why? Because I, it was. They have to memorize. Yeah, it was two pages of dialogue. Right. And I knew his reputation of like word for word. And I was like, yeah, I can't do this. It would have been hard. It would have been too hard. I mean, would you do it? You could have done it.

Now I think I could do it. I think you could have done it. No, I could have done. I was too nervous. I would have loved that. Because I'm a huge West Wing fan. And you know what I mean? And social network.

Is it watching a social network? Was that the movie? Yeah, social network. Yeah, yeah. I love his work. And I was like, I can't, I can't shame myself. The risk was too high. He would have loved you.

He wouldn't have loved you. Hadn't come out at this point. What? Those are now were gotten come out at this point. Lost an excuse. Because it was 2006. Okay, anyway, I was a West Wing fan. Can I say that?

Damn, McCone. You really pushing the buttons. You do have an old soul. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow. Really old soul. Yeah. You know what have been clever?

It's called the social network, right? Yeah. It would have been funny if they crossed out the word the. Yeah, they dropped the the the, knowing the framing of the movie. Yeah. The social network. I'm not telling. I can't wait for meta.

I mean, that's going to be. Meta movie. The Mett a reckoning. The reckoning is what it's going to be called. Is it really? Yeah. Yeah, the social thing. I was just kidding.

They're making another movie? Oh, fuck, I had no idea. Starry. The Barrague guy. Jeremy Allen White. I don't know the names. I'm very good. Mikey Madison.

Yep. Strong. Yeah, Jeremy Strong. And I do not know the gentleman on the left. Jeremy Strong. That's Aaron Sorkin. That's Sorkin? Yeah.

He looks. He looks good. He looks good. Yeah, he looks good. He looks good. It looks Nolan good. Okay, I was going to say he looks different than what I remember. Yeah.

He just looks more mature. Yeah, but he still looks good for his age. I know, I was just going to say, look at that. It didn't look like him at first. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, that is interesting. It's like you drive down the street and you see four billboards with the same actors on it. Yeah.

And then you hear guys like my old friend Matt Jones. You know Matt. I love Matt Jones. Yeah, yeah. He was in Breaking Bad. He played Badger. Yeah. And he's a great guy.

He's going viral right now. He's going viral right now. He's going viral because he's talking about actors not being compensated fairly. Yeah. I mean, I've been out of that game for a long time. Acting? No, in terms of like network, you know what I mean? Series regular.

Pilot season. Pilot season, that game. I think the last pilot I did was splitting up together. Well, you're an offer only guy. I mean, it literally says on your page, on your agent's website, says offer only Bobby Lee. Yeah. It seems like it's your pronouns. Offer only Bobby Lee.

Okay. But my point is that those days are over for me, but, um, and it's not, it's not like I want it. No. Well, no. I don't want it. No. Yeah. Why bring it up?

I'll bring it up because I feel bad for my friends. You know, guys like Matt. When I see, you know. Because the promise of the fucking strikes were that work was going to stay in Los Angeles and blossom and bloom. Yeah. And actors were going to get more work and crew was going to get more work. And that was a lie.

And it didn't turn out to be true. and people are working less than ever and they're getting paid less than ever so it was all bullshit. And that's what you get when you use a Hobbit as SAG president. Right? You don't use people from Middle Earth

right and bring them to Hollywood right to run stuff. That's so funny. Farm! Have babies. Dan's on tables. That's right.

With jugs of beer. That's what you're... Howdy, howdy, hot day, howdy, whatever you do, you know. Eragorn. I don't want him a union president. I don't. Bore me her. Who should be the union president?

What? Who should be the SAG union president for actors? It could be a variety of people. It was Fran Dresher for a long time. Yeah, yeah. I liked her. Her voie. What's do her voice? She would leave voicemails on your, she would call actor's phones. Yeah. Hi, it's Fran Dresher. Yeah, yeah. Remember to vote. Yeah, that I like. The current one is Sean Aston, as Bobby was saying, right? The Hobbit. He's the president. Samwise Gamgee. Samwise Gamgee is the president. president of SAG. That's great. Yeah, I don't like it.

I love it. Yeah. It's fucking Rudy. Yeah, it's really, I don't want Rudy. He lost. He played one game. Did he not lose? He played one game.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I hated that movie going up growing up. Did you like that movie growing up? It's like, what a loser. God, I know that. Just the, just the obvious difference of you and I is I loved that fucking movie. That's the difference. I loved that movie.

Why? Why did you love it? Well, it's sports. So I like sports. I love the movie. Hoosiers. Is that a movie? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yes, it is. That was a really good movie. Such a phenomenal movie. That was a phenomenal movie. What was the movie about? It was about the Indiana basketball team. And what? What's that coach King?

Bobby Knight. Is it Bobby Knight? No. Oh. But wasn't Bobby not the Indiana Indiana? This movie was not about him. It predates him. It predates him.

I don't remember, but I remember watching. It's like when you watch that baseball movie movie with Robert Bradford. I don't know what it's called, but I remember it was the natural. The natural. Yeah. That was a great movie. About what?

It was about baseball. Okay. And who was the lead guy in Hoosiers? What's his name? I don't remember. One of the most famous actors of all time. I haven't seen who, I don't know what you're doing right now. I'm just telling you that I've seen sporting event movies.

But you don't like them because you don't remember them. They obviously didn't have an impact on you whatsoever. What I'm saying is that I can't tell you who I've never seen Benham like Beckham. Really? Yeah. Such a good movie. Is it really? The best, you want to know what the best soccer movie is?

Lady Bugs. Oh, yes. Ladybugs is one of the funniest soccer movies of all time. That's a ladybug. Oh, okay. Roddy Dangerfield and Ladybugs. All right. It's absolutely hilarious.

Okay. Could you make this today? No. Okay. Do you know what the theme of this is? Let me guess based on the photo. Just look at that photo. Tell me what you think it is.

It's about a grandfather who has a granddaughter, right? And he's like, hey. You know what? No one's coaching your team, right? We're gonna win the championship, you nailed it so far. Have I really? No. All right.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love that movie. Yeah, yeah. He's probably not running like that. He does, no, well, he doesn't. He's not, first of all.

In my memory. Okay, ready? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, this is gonna be funny real fast. This is gonna make you laugh. Okay, go on. This is just the coincidence is crazy. Hi.

What song have I? been humming a lot in the shower a lot. I've been humming it a lot lately. A theme to something. Oh, the Rudy. All right. I'll talk to you later. Okay. Bye, bye. Bye. Okay, so. I've literally been humming it for some reason. This is so coincidentally weird. Lately in the shower. And she's like, shut up. Stop it. Yeah. All day in the shower. I love that movie. You know what I hum? Dan, da, dun da-dan-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da.

That's what I hon. Oh, I know what that is. A league of their own. No. Very good baseball movie. You know what that is, right? Yes, dude. John Favro.

A Favro beginning. The Favro beginning. So let me tell you what Rudy is about. I've seen it one time. Okay. It's a kid who's smaller. It's you, by the way. Okay.

It's a success story from a tiny man who just doesn't give up. So Vince? So Vincent's in it. We met Favro. That's how he then met. That's how Favro, John, and who else met? The guy, a Christmas story. What's his name?

Peter Bing Billingsley. That, because I know all three of the, because I did a charade night. What do you call it a charade night? This is a Michael Bay night? No, no, no. It's not a Michael Bay. It's where, like, you know what you have to act things out. Charades.

Yeah. So I did a charade night for some reason. I don't know why. Who's house? Vince's house. Okay. There's me, Vince. It was John Farrow.

It was Peter Billingsley. No, that's not... This is in the late 90s. That's the most Hollywood shit of all time. They would even... They had just done swingers. Huge! Okay.

Huge! They exploded. Yeah, yeah. I now realize that's how they met. Yeah. That's how they met on instead of Rudy. On Rudy. So now do you like Rudy?

No, I don't. Okay. And I'll tell you why. Let me just explain you. Get it off. Cultural phenomenon. All right. You just get it off.

I got, I got. That was our generation's obsession. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I want to tell you what it's about. It's a guy who's small, right? He can't make it into the big football team because he's too small. Can't make it to the big show. The big show, right?

That's fucking rude. No, I'm saying it's a hero story. I made it the big show. Because why? Because you? Because we let you in the game. Okay. All right.

But I've done more than one game. You did. Yeah. So I'm not Rudy. You're not. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He did one game. He played in a game.

In the last. three minutes of the game? Maybe less. Maybe it was one play. Right. And then he gets a touchdown? No. He doesn't even get a touchdown.

He doesn't get a touchdown? He doesn't get a touchdown? He gets a sack. He plays on defense. So he gets a sack? And the whole plays cheers? Yeah. Carlos?

It's very hokey. Like, yeah. No. The payoff isn't there. For him, and you're living through him in that moment. He's supposed to inspire you. It's an inspirational film by a guy

who wasn't supposed to make it there and got there anyway. That's you. You think someone thought the little Asian guy from Poway, the drug addict musician from Poway, the hip cool guy, the little hip weirdo Korean, whose dad owns a fashion gal store in Poway was going to become a mega superstar comedy guy?

Bobby. Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby. Bobby. Ooh. Ooh. Ding ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Ding, ding. Bing, bong, bong, bong, bing.

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Rocketmoney.com slash bad friends. I mean, case in point, you're Rudy, dude. I'm not ready. You became a hero. I've done more than sacking. I have done way more than sacking. I've gotten touchdowns, you know what I mean? I've been the star of the team, maybe not captain, right?

But I'm definitely on the team. All right, you're on the team. All right. It's just a story of a hero. Yeah, yeah. And I don't, I think the payoff is not big enough for me. Okay. I don't even know the song.

I'm basing the song based on what you just say. Let me just try to try to do it. Is that what? Am I close? Yeah, you're close. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've never heard of that song before. It's good enough.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, give me one theme song from a movie that sticks in your brain. Okay, but give me not, that's so obvious. Give me one that. What are you doing? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But everybody knows that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Give me one that only you love that you remember. Okay. This is going to be hard to do. Yeah, let me hear. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. American Psycho. What is that? Can you guys guess?

At the beginning, I thought it was very good. No, no, no. But then he's soundtrack? Hereditary. Oh, wow. Very good. Not one of us got it. No.

But that's, if you, if you're a fan of Hereditary, you know that that's what happens. And that movie, seen that movie a thousand times. When Peter walks up those stairs, which is, you know, and he gets transformed into King Payman, right? That's the song. It's very like hornsy, right? And then all of a sudden, it becomes very dystopian and dark. And then these horns that kick in, it's so fucking horrifying. You're Hans Zimmer.

Dude, I am. You are, Honorable. The tone was... So you asked me, now, I want... Aside from Rudy, you fucking bastard, right? And you can't be hacky, you can't do E-T, you can't do Superman, right? Give me something that, like, is as specific like that. As specific as that?

Yeah, it's got to be as specific as that. Fuckface. I know what it is. I know what it is. What? That's not specific. That's hacky. That's hacky.

That's hacky. That's not the hacky. What's you going to call? It's a ghostbuster. You're gonna call. It's a ghost muster. That's hacky. Give me something specific.

The Asian ghost buzzer so good. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Who's gonna call? It's a ghostbuster. All right, no. Give me something specific. Okay, a specific movie. A theme song from a very specific movie.

Yeah. I've sung you the ones that I love. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. So you put me in a corner, right? I dug my way out. How did it put in a corner? I just set you up. I go, give me a thing.

Yeah, and I did. I went Star Wars and went to Hacking. Her was something hacky. It's just, that was easy. Iconic. It's iconic. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Top of the line.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I got one. All right. I got one. Hold on. All this sound in my head and now I'm trying to hear the theme. I'm trying to do it. Hold on. Yeah.

Hold on, hold on, hold on. Oh, I have to hear it. Okay. I don't have to hear it. I know you know. What's this? It's a TV show. Where everybody knows your name.

Cheers. Yeah. Yeah, but you didn't say it, Carlos. Oh, I thought you were asking. No, I said the group. It's a competition. Okay. Okay. How about this one? Competing?

Yeah. Boom. What is? Sanford's? Seinfeld. Oh, Seinfeld. I love when the guy who did the Seinfeld soundtrack. That's a bass? It's like, boom-de-boom-boom-d-b-b-d-b-b-

Yeah, you're right, yeah, right. That's-A-Fle. Did you ever see that guy composing? Because every, you know, every theme was different. Yeah. Do you know this? He wrote it, and every theme he would do based on the episode. Do you not know this? It's pretty impressive. There's a video about, that's the video, I think.

The video is incredible. Yeah. He talks about how he changes it depending on the joke structure that Jerry does in the intro. Stop. It's amazingly interesting. Stop it.

It's amazingly interesting. All right. And from a guy who's a music guy, you'd think you'd appreciate the idea that he created it based on that. All right. Here's some stuff that I want to talk about now, a video.

American experience, The Forgotten Plague. It's about tuberculosis. I watch every American experienced by PBS by the way good yeah yeah I love watching you know I mean these random facts someone has to keep that channel alive

and I donate to PBS by the way how much it's just like 80 bucks a year 80 dollars a year yeah yeah but that's a lot no that's not a lot need more okay maybe the next year I redone it I'll do 250 300 yeah okay

okay if you want to keep PBS alive. I'm not the only one keeping PBS alive. You need to, but you... Yeah, yeah. You should be... Everyone should be sobering public broadcasting.

12... The average individual donation, including PBS NPR, is roughly 1250 a month, an average of 140 or to 150 a year. You're less than the average donation from people who don't have good jobs, and they still give. They usually require a minimum of $5 per month or $60 a year to unlock demanding streaming feature. So you did it so you could stream PBS Passport. Yes, that PBS Passport. We know why you did it.

So he could stream PBS Passport. Yeah, I want to watch the shows, dude. You know what I mean? But I watch all the shows, you know? Shame. It is shame on me, dude. And if you're PBS, I apologize and I will donate more money. I won't.

I know you won't, but because they have interesting things in there. Some of it for sure. Some of it, yeah. There's some interesting things that I'm a big, you know, Ken Burns fan. The man. I love history and I love watching historical, you know. And I didn't know anything about tuberculosis, to be honest with you. You learn all of it now.

Yeah, they had these tuberculosis asylums here in L.A., which was at first for the rich. They come over, the sun, the sunshine will, you know, get you healthy, right? So it was for the rich. They had these, you know, beautiful asylums with courtyards. People would be playing cricket and stuff. But then all of a sudden the poor came. And then L.A. was like, especially black people and brown people.

They're like, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. Right? And it was like, like, why? What's up? Different kind of TB. It's what kind? BPTB. I guess.

BPD TV. B-D. B-P-T-B-T-B-T-B. I thought B-D, big dick. I thought he's a big dick. Oh, B-D-TV. Yeah, B-D-T-B. Yeah, that's what they had.

That looks nice. No, those are the poorer ones. The ones that... That looks nice, face in the window. I understand that, yeah. It was a brutal disease. It killed one out of seven Americans. It did.

What? It's funny, you know that stat. I know, I just, I have. I'm a weird guy. No, he just consumed this. I'm a weird guy and I consume weird things. He will forget this in a year. No, well, I will always remember one out of seven.

Never forget. Okay. And in fact, note this down, a year from now when we were on this podcast, ask me that stat. And I'll know it. Well, one out of seven is pretty easy. Give me another stat. Why are you always downgrading me, dude? I'm upgrading.

No, no, no, yeah, yeah, I did hereditary, right? Which was a pretty good, you know. It wasn't a competition. I just asked you, hey, you made me. You put me in a corner, I had to find my way out. There was no painting. War. Rewind it. It's a war.

Yeah, it's another thing. Yeah, I understand that, but we're done with that. Oh, we are? Yeah, we're not doing it today. It's last one day. That's for the whole year. No, we didn't. We never made that contract.

McCone needs a college fund. Okay. I owe you $55 from the last episodes, and that's it. Old Soul. Anyway, yeah, what? You're at 60 right now. I'm at $60? Whatever.

65. What shirt is that? Is it a Rams shirt? No, it's a Cotton Citizen shirt. But it says L.A. what? It just says Los Angeles Cotton Citizen. It's like a Brandon WeHo. Oh.

That's a good shirt. But, you know, McCone's shirt, you want me to do it or no? No. Oh, wow. What? You want to distress it? Yeah. Let me see.

Stand up. It's a good shirt. I know. I don't want you to throw rocks on it. your pool or whatever, throwing coffee. You don't want in the coffee pool? No, but thank you. You don't want a distress by Bobby?

No, I don't, I like. You know what, when we open up a distress by Bobby on Melrose? Yeah. You can't come to the opening. Yeah. No, no, it's not okay. It's not okay. Some people like no shit.

Yeah. Oh, so yeah. Who are you talking to? Yeah, when I see somebody with a brand new rock tea, it offends me to the core. This is a brand new rock tea. I know, I know. And would I say earlier?

In the other room. Oh, you love it. You were like, I love it. I love your whole look. My pants. You like my slacks, yeah. No, I like the light brown with the slacks and the shoes. But in my mind, I'm like, I wish that shirt was more distressed.

No, I like this shirt. Yeah, it offends me. You don't even know anything about this shirt, about who makes it and the under. That's what you don't know. You're Mr. like, make it look old. This is cool because it's not old because some people can't get it. That's why it's nice because it's a collaboration. Don't worry about it.

Oh, God. You're snooty today, dude. Yeah, well, rocks in your pool. And you're high rising. I like it. I like high rising Andrew. Yeah, I like it. Right?

But you're offending me right now. It's okay. Yeah, it's not okay. You hear it hit a nerve. That's a brand new rock shirt. Yeah. But it's distressed a little bit. Yeah, it's distressed a little bit.

You distressed me a little bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You disdress all of us. I do. Interesting. Interesting. Interesting. All right.

More dollars. Who dress distresses you most? And let's be honest with you. With all of us, I mean. Yeah. This is a fun game. Yeah, it's a great game. We play this all fun.

I love it. Yeah, yeah. I love it. Andrew and I, and be honest within your hearts, your soul. Please, please. And be mindful and just be logical. Please.

None of you. You got. No, use your critical thinking. Critical. Use your critical thinking. Critical. Who stresses you out more? Who distresses you out the most?

Yeah, distresses you out the most. Let's start with it, Carlos. Oh, between the both of you? That's easy. It's you, because we go on tour together and you tell insane stories to millions of people. You knew that was going to backfire. That's insane.

I mean, you know, I rock and roll with you. See? Okay. He's your boy. Yeah. You distress him, but he's your boy. I like wartime. War is fun.

Next. You're just, like, harder to read. So sometimes I'm like, is he, like, upset about something or like, why, where is this energy? When Andrew's upset. He lost his voice because of you. I know. When Andrew's upset, I know, I usually can understand. You sometimes, you're a bit of a wild card, which is what we love about you.

But sometimes it just makes it a little more distressed. But it's a part of working with Bobby. I wouldn't trade it for the world. Wow. Well, so you. Me? No, that's what he said. You.

Oh, yeah, yeah. I'm going to go the other way, Bobby. Yeah. Nice, good. Do that. That's nice. Is that the truth? Yeah.

I don't want you to go to the other way just because the flow is, you know, I mean, against me. I never talk to you, so. The only person who I talk to is Andrew, so. Yeah. Okay. No stress to be had. Okay. Right.

No stress to be had, Doc. Yeah, because I talk to Carlos the most. Mm-hmm. You know I mean? And we can't talk about what we talk about. Right? But, you know, I mean, he knows me inside and out and what I believe in. Yes. Yeah, yeah. And, you know, these are things I cannot share out loud. One day I will. You know what I mean?

But so I think that's why we have a connection. But also, you treat me like shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But that's fine because we've known each other for a long time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I apologize. And I will be more. No, you're good. No, no, no, I will be in open books that you can read. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I will be an open book that you can read I was reaching out to you last night Because I was, you know, we had a little quick talk, right? And I'll be an open book from now on, okay?

And Andrea's good choice. Anyway, let's move on. Yeah, and you know what, I get it, I get that shirt. It's a, and I want to know more about it later. Can I tell you? What? What are the pauses about? I'm pregnant.

I'm pregnant. I'm pregnant pauses. You're Ellis is pregnant. Oh, you can't say that in the mic? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You said pauses, said pregnant pauses. Pregnant pause. Oh, people keep sending us this guy because he looks like on dress.

What? He's the president of Serbia. Alexander, he does look like you. He does look on dress, yeah. 15 years later. And what does he believe in? Yeah, what does he believe in? $25.

Bad stuff. Alexander wants to reinstitute slavery in most parts of the world. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He believes in sweatshops. And manual labor for brown people. Wow. Like little times. So he was the prime minister of Serbia?

Yeah. Nice. What do you think of this Ivanka, Jared Kushner, buying this island in Algeria? You do? Someone's got to buy those islands. Yeah. But do you believe the story? That they just, yeah, I do.

That they dived into the water. Yeah. Barefoot. Yeah. I believe it. I think it's going to be great. Wham to some island, right, walked. That was for sale, randomly.

There was no for sale sign on it, by the way. Well, they don't put them up anymore. They don't? On islands? Not on island. Oh, yeah. They used to. We should incorporate that back.

I know. Or sale or not sale. And look at that. That's the new fixer-upper, $24 million island. Fixer upper. Wow. That's nothing for an island? For the whole island, 24 million.

Wow. What do they want for Epstein's island? That was for sale. Let's not talk about that. No. But it was for sale for a long time. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I bought it.

But anyway, um, yeah, I'm repurposing it. Keep it exactly how it is. Yeah, yeah. How much was, uh, oh yeah, just so we know. 60. 60 million. It was really listed for 125. Good deal.

Almost half off is good. Yeah. But there's a lot of protests in Algeria right now. Why? Dude, it's, it's because there's ecosystems there and animals. If you're putting it up for sale, it's for sale. Don't put it up for sale. It wasn't for sale.

went to the government and what can we buy this? Yeah, it was a dead island. So everybody wants money. The government is at fault. If government's willing to sell, willing to sell anything, Hawaii is a state in the United States. I understand that. One of the islands is owned privately. I know. Well, that doesn't okay, so what do you, who the government? But there's also an island for themselves as well. Larry Ellison owns that island of Lanai. He could just. I know, but there's also an island that foreigners and people cannot go to because it's an island for only Hawaiian. You would do, right, Correct. Right. So my point though being is that it's tit for tat. No, this is an island that no one owns. There's no land. There's nobody there. So why not let someone's going to buy it? Someone wants private land. If there is real estate to be sold, it's going to get sold. Especially if it's valuable like a fucking island. $24 million. I don't agree with it. Awesome. Yeah. It's not awesome. It's rad. We're going to get invited. We're all going. McCone. Are you? I'm with you, Bob. You are? He doesn't even know why.

who? Me? McCone, he doesn't even know why. He doesn't. Yeah, you know why. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, why? Because I don't like those people. Oh, so that's why they can't buy the island?

Oh, that phrase has been told before in real estate. That's not a good phrase. I don't like those people. Yeah. They shouldn't be able to buy over there. Yeah. Interesting. Yeah, the opposite.

Opposite. I don't know, man. It's all the same. Well, it's apparently a very sensitive ecosystem. That's what I just said. Yeah, but who knows if they're going to take care of it? You never know. No, they're not, you think, you think, it's not.

California. Albania is like a corrupted place. They don't care about their environment probably. No, they joined NATO, right? They used to be an oppressive government right, and now they're free and they want their independence and they care about their little birdies. What does that do with the island? Yeah, because there's birds

and animals that live on the island that will be devastated by them building a gigantic resort and ruining the fucking ecosystem. Too bad? Yeah? I mean, why do you think there's a super El Nino coming in next month? and you guys can say

whatever you want about the Super El Nino and go, oh, you're wrong you don't know, but when you're there, right, then all of a sudden you're going to be like you were right. Why don't you give your house back then to the animals that used to live up in Mulholland? Because you've displaced many species

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Because I think that what you've done is actually awful. You've displaced a lot of species from that. That house was built before, for, for, for, way before. before I bond. You're continuing the problem. You sell your house then. I don't have a problem. I think privatized island buys is good. I'm the opposite. I say, buy all the islands have the most fun. Earth is coming to a close.

This is it. It's the end. Let's rock. It's over. De-salonize the water. Yeah, it feels like it's over. Yeah, so who fucking gives a shit? Yeah, I think that's what I'm feeling, the anxiety. It's over. It's over. I've accepted it. It's over. We're not going to save anything. We're not saving anything. No. You know what I mean? It's just like, it's just these ice caps are just melting. Get rid of them.

Who cares about it, right? The Pacific is warming up, you know what I mean? It hasn't been like that since the 1800s. You know what I mean? You know, it's Phoenix and 30 years is going to be uninhabitable. It would be so hot. Yeah. Yeah.

You want to move there. Not now. Yeah, yeah. Not if you just told me that. Oh, I see. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, who gives you?

Yeah, yeah. So my point is, is that no one cares. It's all over. But also, somebody's got to do something. No. Yeah. Not us. Why not?

us. I give PBS $80 of a year, dude. Yeah. Right? Right? And you do your little, not little, but your camp, you mean for the Special Olympics? It's not little, it's huge. I know. And I will show up for your events.

I know, and I will show up for your events, right? And that's because you're trying. I just think it does, none of it matters. It's all bullshit. Hey, hey, how about this? Guy who's swimming pool, fill of coffee and distressing shirts? Fast fashion is like one of the worst things for global economy ever. It's bad. And you're a big fast fashion guy.

You're distressing 30 shirts in your pool. They're going to end up in a fucking river in India. That amount of water. Unbelievable. Yeah, you have a pool. Get rid of a pool. This is the problem, dude. The libs get up in arms about shit that they're fucking lying.

They're living in a lie. Stop living in the lie. Look at that. That's your shirt. There's all you distressed shirts. And they're stressed. Those are fucking stressed. I should go to that lady.

A big bag of rock t-shirts? They're doing a great job. Do you think you can run this through your shit river? Make these look rad? That shit is a good idea. Shit's good. Let's go back around. We started with shit.

We ended with shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What did that say? UCLA has a fast fashion sustainability program. Smart. Look at that. That's what the world looks like because of those Super Bowl shirts that never made it. I know.

I don't know what we're doing here. You can't stop that. You can't stop that. It's we're... Can you dream? Can we be dream? We can dream about owning an island of Algeria. Yeah.

What is this? This is the 300 miles swim through the Great Pacific Garbage Patch. Yeah, 300 miles of garbage. Didn't Tony talk about that? It's an island of garbage. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you remember that? God, look at the first photo.

Look at the very first photo. Yeah. That's crazy, dude. That's in the ocean. No. Yeah, what are we doing? McCone, you and I got to do something. Yeah, you and I do.

McCone. We'll do a phone. foundation. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, we'll do a foundation. We should. Yeah, yeah. You want to do a bad friends of a foundation? I would actually love... I would like to do it for the environment. No, I don't want to fuck the environment. What do you want to do it with? Kids with cancer. Anything with people that... Anything where health care. I'll do a health care. I know, I know, but here's my argument with that. I think AI is going to take care of a lot of that. AI is just going to fix everything? Yeah. You think AI is going to fix our health? Oh, yeah.

This is where you're wrong. No, you're wrong. What is it going to do? It's going to nanotechnology. It's going to revolutionize the healthcare industry. It's going to help. Yes. But it's not going to get rid of cancer. We've done this to ourselves. No, I think that we do have a cure for cancer now.

And pharmaceutical companies don't want us to know. Don't want us to know. Sure. They're making a lot of money. But AI is not going to fix that. It's already fixed. We already can do it. We can have.

I don't want to get it. Was this in the tuberculosis document? I don't know. Misinformation as well. You think I have misinformation. What you're saying would be classified as misinformation because no one might be flag. No one at Harvard would say we cured cancer.

No, yeah. Maybe you're right. Okay, you're right. Everyone listening right now. It's misinformation. Well, you know what is at Harvard? The algorithm on the window of Kirkland Hall for Facebook. Now, did they keep that?

Did they frame that? Is that room special at Harvard? See if they kept the room that Zuckerberg wrote the algorithm on the window with Edward Savron. Edward O'Avron. Zuckerberg's original dormer of Harvard H33 and Kirkland famously coded launched Facebook largely been preserved

and a piece of tech history Can you go image? Go to images I do want to Kirkland House, baby or Harvard men were men of dignity That's just who's in there now, those kids Just so much jizz on the walls of the Yeah, wow Imagine. Is that him?

Wow. Wow. He had no idea. He's wearing Gap He's still Well, not He's still worse gap No, he had to glow up Like only a couple of years ago I mean he can go to Dezisuel At least, no

Take him to Dezioil Yeah, yeah I think Andres You gotta take him to Dezioiluea Yeah, yeah Because The guy who made out Like the real bandit

In this entire movie Yeah Was who Oh, the Winklevoss No, the kid from Jurassic Park Correct Correct I forgot his name

But you probably remember He made out the best because what did he make? What did it say he made? Oh, he made like five billion. And no one even knows his name. Yeah. The kid was played by Tim from Jurassic Park.

It's genius. That guy's a genius. No one even knows his name. Because he didn't really do much at the beginning. He was just the guy. He was just the homie. Yeah, exactly. You know who he was?

He was a barnacle. On a whale. They discovered. They discovered. Bad friends, ASMR. Get ready with us to be on bad friends. Yeah, go to sleep. Go to sleep, have a laugh.

Yeah, people tell us that sometimes they go, I fall asleep to the podcast. Yeah. They're like, it's so funny, I fall asleep to it all the time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How's that funny? A great compliment. Yeah.

Well, I guess they say, like, the rhythm of the voice helps people. Yeah. Babies like it. Yeah. I've had multiple friends say kids babies like the rhythm of our back and... Wow, that's insane. ESMR makes me horny. I don't know why.

Stop listening right now, babies. Yeah. No, no, no, what I'm... Especially it's a woman. Well, I genuinely from bottom of my heart only thought ASMR was women. No, there's a guys that do it. Guys do it?

Yeah. What are they doing? Oh, that's hot. I'm going to the gym. I'm back from the gym. But when women do it, there's something sensual about it. Look at the crew of ASMR guys. I know.

That's insane. Wow. Wow. You know what that looks? The fat Filipino I go do. Yeah. Yeah, he has a great. You know who this is?

What? Our fan base. Yeah, that's our fan base right there. It's the most eclectic version of every guy you've ever seen. Yeah. Non-descript guy. Yeah, there's just something about, you know, I have another app that does Elvish whispers. I think I have it on my phone.

Elvish? Yeah, you want to hear it? That's what you need rocket money. That's a really good joke. Good plug. That's a good plug. Show me the women of ASMR. Look at what the difference will be.

I mean, look at the bold difference. I know. The irony being you don't see them, you just hear them. Yep. Okay, hold on. Sleep. Here we go. Alvich whispers.

I found it. You want to hear what I listened to? Yeah. I'm sorry, it took so long forever. Here's a good one. Yeah, I don't want that one. Pinkly mouth, fake spit. You want to hear what I listen to when I go to bed?

Hold on. Okay, hold on. Give me what? That's not, hold on. And then you can add a line of a v. And then you can add a thing to it. You could add like makeup brush.

Or you can add like, um, anything like an oak tree or crane. Can you say the noise out? What? It's so loud. Oh no, I have four things going on at the same time. I'm gonna say iguana menel. Iguana?

Anyway, that's what. Can Rudy make out what she's saying? Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Did they translate for you? You're gonna die. In four days.

No, I know, I know. But that's what I listen to. We got a transition to something upbeat. This dog was stolen in China and eaten and it was a famous dog. Okay. That's not upbeat, dude! They sold it for like $23. Except for the person who we ate it.

It's a steel. It is a steel. You can feed a family. You know, I don't want to hear about dogs. Yeah, I don't want to hear about dogs. But I do want to know how they cooked them. Baked, pan fried, grilled. What was it?

I would smoke the meat. I would definitely smoke dog. Yeah, I would smoke dog. Slow smoke, like brisket. For the winter. For the winter. No? Slow and low.

Yeah, yeah. Slow and low. I'll go Nordic on it. Here's what I want. I want to learn. I want to find an AI girlfriend. You have a real one. I know, but I would.

I want to just see what it feels like having an A1. You want to compare your AI one to your real one? Yeah, see what it says. What's the app, though? I don't even know what app. Because you can scroll through these apps like you're on Tinder. How real was the movie Her? Right.

So ahead of its time. Yeah. Here they are. It's not coming. It's here. What's one? Candy AI, romantic AI and Igirl. Which one's the best one though?

I mean, eye girl's a perfect name. Yeah, yeah. When they got the rights to that, they were like, we're in. We're done. Paul Schrader, who wrote taxi driver, has an AI girlfriend. Yeah, it just. Does he? Yeah, test it out.

He's like 80 years old. Wow. Andy, secrets, AI, sounds cool. Yeah, I'm going to go Andy, candy AI. Give him candy. I'm going to download it now. All right, it's with a C. 599 a month.

So, are you going to give that money to them or to PBS? It's either your candy girlfriend or... Or... tuberculosis. Oh, my God. What's more important to you? I would argue... PBS.

PBS. Yeah, PBS. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, PBS. I think you're right. I spent $50 across five AI girlfriend apps in a week. Here's what every dollar went. I want to Google. Who's the guy that spent the most on AI girls? I wonder, there's got to be a guy who spent a ton of money on those things.

You know there's some dude in Japan. Okay, this is highest figures. Oh, wait, they're all secret, but it's funny. The Miami. $10,000 a month. Wow. On Candy AI, Cupid AI. I treat these monthly subscriptions, expensive hobby.

10 grand a month for a girlfriend. What do you buy him? Yeah, yeah, when I'm asking. Desi Huala shirts all day. You do one payment, right? And you can talk to this person, but what else are the expenses? This is how they hook you.

Let's get involved. You want to wait to download Candy, yeah, yeah. Yeah, because now you're going to start doing it, and you're going to come back next week and go, I spent $4,000 on candy. Here's the difference between starter and premium. Oh, yeah, tell me the difference. Better continuity, fewer limits, more serious,

companion building, core part of the product are images, sensitive add-ons for voices. Oh, yeah, they don't get all, like, sexy on the basic one. This is- Oh, but is there, is there nudity? Yeah, I would imagine. Yeah, because they blur it and restrict it for- Why else do you keep signing up? I'm going to go app store. This is just for science, right?

And research. You could test out other races, too. Oh, I'm definitely going to go, I'm going to, I'm going to, the first one I'm going to do is a different race, which is white. I'm kidding. Let's see, candy. In 20 years, Attenborough does a PBS documentary. And the Asian men downloads the app now.

Candy AI. Searching for love. But Bob, they don't, they look like this. They don't look like your girlfriend. I don't care. This is an experiment. I think that's how they hook you. They get you there and then they get you a real one.

AI girl. Candy mate. Candy AI. There's no candy AI here. It's probably a website. I'll do a different one and then, you know what I mean? I'll let you know how it goes. I do want to know.

I want to see the success of them. Well, I'll just download one now. Well, I want to say something to Carlos. Oh, no. Thank you for being a bad friend. That's what I wanted to say. Oh, the river. Yeah.

What is this? What do you got to show us there, Carlos? I don't like videos up front. He hates them. We do it later. Let's see it. Oh, we know whose shoes those are. Whose?

That's McCone. McCone. Look at how embarrassed. Embarrassed. Cudy pie. Oh, can I tell you about poop? Watch this. All right.

I fake him out, I go, come on, man, look up at the camera. That's you recording? Yeah, watch. He goes what? Oh, underneath, baby. Double sneak. You're the same diner shits that I had that day. The same diner shits that I had that day.