Bad Friends - Bobby Is Tone Tone Galore

Episode Date: October 5, 2026

A Wave series. https://wavesportsandentertainment.com Thank you to our Sponsors: Liquid IV, Rocket Money, TalkSpace, BlueChew, Shopify & QUO • Liquid IV: Go to https://www.liquidiv.com and get 20% off your first purchase with code 2026 BF at checkout. • Rocket Money: Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join at https://www.RocketMoney.com/BADFRIENDS • TalkSpace: Get $80 off your first month with promo code SPACE80 at https://www.Talkspace.com • BlueChew: Experience it yourself at https://www.BlueChew.com with code BADFRIENDS • Shopify: If you’re ready to launch your business before Black Friday, go to https://www.SHOPIFY.COM/badfriends to start your free trial. • QUO: Try QUO for free PLUS get 20% off your first 6 months when you go to https://Quo.com/BADFRIENDS YouTube Subscribe: http://bit.ly/BadFriendsYouTube Audio Subscribe: https://apple.co/31Jsvr2 Merch: http://badfriendsmerch.com 0:00 Emotionally Abusive Friends 5:00 Where's Cancer? 11:00 Tripping w/ Shane Gillis 19:50 Tone Tone Galore 14:45 Oasis & George Lopez 28:30 The Brotherhood 33:30 Meeting Ralph Macchio 39:00 Bobby At The Emmys 44:40 Cannes Fantasy 55:20 Motel Bed Bugs 1:02:00 Apocalypse Erewhon More Bobby Lee TigerBelly: https://www.youtube.com/tigerbelly Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bobbyleelive Twitter: https://twitter.com/bobbyleelive Tickets: https://bobbylee.live More Andrew Santino Whiskey Ginger: https://www.youtube.com/andrewsantinowhiskeyginger Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino Twitter: https://Twitter.com/cheetosantino Tickets: http://www.andrewsantino.com More Fancy SOS VHS: https://www.youtube.com/@7equis Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/fancyb.1 More Bad Friends iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-friends/id1496265971 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/badfriendspod/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/badfriends_pod Official Website: http://badfriendspod.com/ Opening Credits and Branding: https://www.instagram.com/joseph_faria & https://www.instagram.com/jenna_sunday Credit Sequence Music: http://bit.ly/RocomMusic // https://www.instagram.com/rocom Character Design: https://www.instagram.com/jeffreymyles Bad Friends Mosaic Sign: https://www.instagram.com/tedmunzmosaicart Produced by: 7EQUIS https://www.7equis.com/ Podcast Producer: Andrés Rosende This video contains paid promotion. #bobbylee #andrewsantino #badfriends #sponsored #ad Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Wave. Bobby Lee. Welcome to Atlanta, Georgia. My name is Captain Bobby Lee. We have Admiral Andrew Santino here, and we're brought to you by the Space Command Ship Zero X-90, and we're here in space near Mars. No, we're in Atlanta, Georgia.

That's not a good opening. No, I could feel it when I was doing it. I was like, let's do a space theme in my mind. I'm like, let's keep talking, and it's not working. But anyway, welcome to Atlanta. I did a show here. Andrew's doing a movie here, and we joined forces here to do a program called Bad Friends here in Atlanta, Georgia. You two are bad friends.

Who are these two idiots? White dude. I'm an Asian dude. You two are disgusting. You two or something. We're bad friends. Hey! Welcome to Bad Friends.

A wave series. We are so excited to shoot today in Atlanta, Georgia. Yeah, the Southern Bail, dude. We're a little couple. Well, don't do it stupid. That sounds down. Now this sounds like you're mocking. Oh, how, I'm an aristocrat.

Now, that's perfect. Yeah. Actually, you are. You are general. I'm a land. You are a little aristocrat. Yeah, I'm an aristocrat. You would be a southern bell, a pretty little southern bell.

We got to get a camera on him for the, I see dead people. But anyway, um... What if he doesn't want to be on camera? We'll do a punch in later. We have two videographers sitting in the room with this right, Atlanta, Georgia. I'm here filming a movie, and Bobby did a show last night. And that's why we've ended up in in this little room where we are. And I flew in this morning at 6 in the morning.

You did? I was in Knoxville yesterday. Is that where you were shooting, Knoxville? No, I'm shooting here. I was at the Tennessee game with my dad. Oh, I see. And Gillis, uh, it was, we had a blast. I can't talk about what happened.

Jane Gillis. Jane Gillis, oh, Jane Gillis. Yeah, Jane Gillis, man. I'm big fan of Jane. Shane's cousin, Jane Gillis. Yeah. It was great. Trump was there.

Oh, I love him. And then him and I went out and got dinner after the game. You and Trump? Yeah, just him and I. Yeah. Went to Red Lobster. It's so good. He loves that.

He loves for the Twelfth. Cheddar bay biscuits. That's all you want to use stuffing his little face with cheddar bays. So, I have a, me and Carlos have been doing well. And what's been going on? Once you air it out, baby. Okay. So, um, where we have or haven't?

We have, no, dude, I'm so mad at you. I were done. Oh, because I called you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You go, you go. Yeah. Call had called you me what? No, I don't want to say it.

No, I want you to say it. I said you were being abusive. Yeah, yeah. Were you being abusive? No, not at all. Did you strike him? No, he's been emotionally abusive. Oh, it's emotionally abusive.

Grow up, man. You know he faced, so I FaceTime last night. Yeah. And he's in bed with a girl with their clothes off. And I was like, ooh, I think this is going to be good. And then he says this morning he didn't do, didn't do anything. He just cuddled. I said, you do anything?

He said, no. No, we didn't even cuddle. And then he says to me, I go, I've never heard of that. My life, he goes, that's because you're too straight. What does that even mean? Like, you're so straight, you can't even imagine being in bed with a girl and not having sex. Not as an adult male.

No, that's, as a kid maybe. What if you were in the Army or something? So the gays talk all night. Is that what you're saying? They do. They do chat a lot. My neighbor was straight. So, what was the party like?

You're just as gay, if not gayer than me. What are you saying if I'm in the army? What does that have to do with? They have like, you know, female soldiers. They did make it next to each other. Yeah. Female soldiers, you know, you're like in a sniper mission. You can't just have sex with her. are you talking about dude

that's an example you're never sleeping with another soldier in bed without clothes that's never happened like it's very cold you have to get some stuff off and get body warmth you it's not about sex it's about being warm and last night I just wanted to be warm oh like negative afraid you naked and afraid it

yes it was survival I'll tell you dude this hair is really getting to your head yeah it's unbelievable she was attractive I don't even know what's going on yeah she was my friend we were anyway can we go to work we met her before yeah he met her before I think I did recognize her, yeah. Oh, yeah, Bob's mad because I called him out. So you're abusive.

No, that's it. You got called out for being abusive. So we're in the other night, we're on a show. And before the show, he comes up to me and he goes, um, there's a guy with cancer. Let me finish the story. A lot of guys with cancer these days. I know.

And it's really sad, but he goes, he's going to come and say hi. Oh, after the show. After the show. Well, did he have any, any sort of paperwork to show that he had cancer? I know. I need to prove. Because anybody can just say it. I know, I know.

Any fans would be like, I have cancer and you're like, sure, how would I know? I need to see something. I have spinal bifida. I want paperwork. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know you look like a pretzel, but I need paper work.

That one you can see. And I go, of course, of course. You want to come by? How did the cancer guy reach out to you? Yeah, how did you ask the venue and the venue asked me. Damn, dude, that's pretty bold. It was bold.

Deer, dear tabernacle. I have cancer. I think he just went up to security. Let me backstage. He went to security. Wow. So anyway, I agreed. And so I kind of...

White guy, black guy, Asian guy? A white guy, but let him white with cancer? I know, dude. I used to do Puerto Ricans only. That's the only one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I have cancer, puppy. Yeah, yeah.

In my bones. Yeah, so... Cancer. So I forget that he's even... You know, you forget. You forgot he had cancer? No, I forgot that even there was that element to the... You forgot.

I forgot this. Cancer element. of the night. You know what I mean? The theme of the night was cancer and it was gone. Because there was other people coming in and I was like, hey, thank for coming in,

this and that, oh, you liked it, this and that, whatever, you know what I mean? So then I just completely forgot and I just go, where's cancer? Like, there was people in the room and there was a guy sitting there and he goes, yeah. And in my mind, I'm like,

you have to do an announcement before cancer comes in. I didn't know he was there. Oh yeah, this is your fault. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, that's one of the guys. When cancer comes in, so I don't go, hey, where's cancer? Right.

You know what I mean? And then he goes, I'm right here. And then I'm embarrassed. I'm like, what the fuck? I just called. I'm so sorry, he's like it's fine. Yeah. And his friends laughed.

Sure. Yeah, but I was so embarrassed by him. You know what you got to do now? I'm sorry for not protecting you from yourself. When there, yeah, yeah, yeah, you didn't protect me for myself. Yeah. When there is. So I apologize.

A cancer person. that needs to come backstage or special needs person or handicapped or any of that stuff we just need to communicate to each other on tour and I think what you should make is stickers that say cancer something like a ribbon or but it's different hand gestures you know there's not there's so many different

you gotta put cowbells around their neck so we can hear when they're coming yeah but we've already created all the hand gestures that one can create man right we have I'll just do them all and see if we can all yeah what that's shocka This is Shaka. Exactly, dude.

Yeah, Hawaii. That's Rock on. Rock on, did, right? Yeah. Wait. That's the Shokker. That's the shocker. Right.

Different from Shaka. No, Shaka. Yeah. Shaka is different than Shaka. Yeah. Can I do it? Fine. Okay.

I didn't know you, the hand guy. Well, I was doing a game. Yeah, what's handicap? What? Oh, my God. Is that handicap? No, my point is it. Oh, this is kangaroo.

Oh, this is kangaroo. That's more kangaroo. It's more kangaroo. Anyway, um... So you're abusive and you're not doing your job. This is both of your false. No, that's not true. Did you...

Did you say, were you in the room when I did go, Where's Cancer? Yeah. You were in the room when I said that. Yeah, they were fine and having fun. It wasn't like the end of the world. Maybe there's a better way to say it, but you know what I mean? Where's the gentleman that happened to be sick

or something like that? Maybe I should have said that. Your niece was there and you were distracted. Oh, why? You just were. Who was there? My niece. What do you mean your niece?

What do you mean that? You know, you know, could I just say something to you, pal? Stop, stop. See that face you're making right now, pal? Right? You act as if I don't come from family. You don't. You act as if I have no one out there like with my name.

Do you know what a niece is? It's supposed to be my brother's daughter. Any of your siblings there. Yeah, but I don't have it. I have one brother who doesn't, you know what I mean, have any. And therefore you don't. So I have cousins that have them. So I just call him niece.

That's not a niece. What is it? It's your second cousin once removed or something. All right, so what? So your niece was backstage. And then, yeah, I have family as well, like you do. You don't. Yeah, I do.

I'm a family man, dude. You're a mutt that they find in Mexico on the street. Like, maybe it does have family somewhere. Right. Most likely not. Right. Missing something. Yeah.

Yeah. Maybe do the kangaroo or whatever. Anyway, so that happened. So you called out cancer. You were abusive to Carlos. I was an abusive. Oh, my God. I cried in the car on the way here.

Boy, this guy's pissing me off, dude. Because my dad sent me a nice text message, bawling in the car. You don't have a dad. How does that feel? I don't have a niece. You don't have a dad. I mean, it doesn't feel good. It doesn't feel good.

I know that you have a dad. Because your dad's dead and mine's not. So don't throw your bullshit on me. Don't throw your dead dad stuff I love it. It feels good. I should call my dad right now. No, I don't. Tell him how much I love him because he's alive.

You know, it's Mark Maron's birthday today. We ought to call that. I should call you. Yeah. Who are you calling? Cat. This is nothing that gets solved. This isn't useful.

Remember when Carlos talked to me in that way? I think that's her voicemail. Hello? I think it went high and beep. I think that was her voicemail. That was her voice mouth. Yeah. She goes, hi.

And I got, do you remember? Do you remember? Yeah, I absolutely was not. So the tour was... I didn't know where he did that. It was a fucking shocking. In my mind, I was in order to talk to... I was never going to talk to him again.

Well, how about these photos of you who abused you? Was that Carlos? That injured you? The photos of me was a completely... That was nature abusing me. Let me see what they looked like. So I get abused by him and nature. So these are your legs?

Those are my legs. That's disgusting, dude. Look what happened? What is that? Were those from chiggers? Mm-hmm. I'm dead serious. Yeah, yeah, they're chiggers.

I had chigger bites all over my legs. You know, you kill them? You go into water, they drowned. And they get swam. I knew it was coming. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And if they're on your body, you're in a movie, then they chirp.

They chirp loud in a movie. You know how certain bugs are attracted to lights? Yeah. Chiggers are attracted to a single beep of a dying fire alarm. I got riddled by sugar. Hold on. Gillis was calling me right now. Shane,

I got to call you. I'm on bad friends unless you want to talk. Those things came out of nowhere. Shane, Bobby. Shane, Bobby says hi. Hey, what's up, buddy? What's going on, man?

Hey, bud. Just called in because me and Santina had a wonderful evening last. We really did. Did you want to tell you want to say what happened or no you don't have to I can I don't have to say where it was or whatever But I took I thought what was a micro dose of mushrooms and I ended up tripping It was a mega though I didn't want to trip It was it was in the corner of the couch for a while I kept looking at me with wide eyes and he was like Santino

Wow it was great fun fun fun Shaney let me call you let me call you back all right bye Bye, bye, bye. Later did. He was having a good time. Can I tell you that I've got a new lease on life now? I love it. Hold on. Let's finish this. Okay.

This is what? You're walking through the woods? No, no idea. So I have another photo that I'll just show you. Are you still painting your nails? Are you getting them painted? What do you mean? A little fairy doesn't.

What are you talking about? Do you paint them or do you go somewhere? I go somewhere. What's your aggression about, guy? Who's a fucking regular question, you fuckhead? And then you spun it. Like, what are you talking about? It's very easy.

Do you do it or just someone else? So see this couch right here? Let me see. Who's that chick? That's my girlfriend. Oh. All right. So in that...

I can't see her face. Yeah. So in that couch, right, is outside of Turtle Bay in a little tiny cabin. Mm-hmm. Okay. We decided to make love. Sweet love. Okay.

We make sweet love. She goes in to take a shower. I fall asleep outside. Hot. Three in the morning, completely dark, by a lake. Okay. You woke up. I woke up.

The chikers had stolen your wallet. It's enough. It's enough, dude. I'm sorry. Yeah. It's enough. But you know who got bitten the most, dude? Next to me, there was a fat white chick.

She was real. Oh, my God. They went after her. Wait, so this is terrible. So that's what happened. By the way, do she have a tattoo above her? It says love to all you? Yep.

Love to all you? I have no idea, dude. It's in Old English. It says love, wait. Love. I can't read all. Oh, no, love is all you need. I'm sure.

That's all you need. Don't you agree? You agree? No, brother. Yeah. You need a job. I know, but yeah, you do need more. What would say love is all you need?

Love is all you need. It's a Beatles song. Sing it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's Beatles. Yeah, all, love is all you need. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I know you're not tone deaf, but it's sound, you know that's not how it goes. What? Don, da, da, na, nah, nah. I was trying to make a version of it. That's my own. Why, then I'm gonna sue us? You think Paul McCartney is gonna do it?

Yeah, I don't want the Beatles to sue us. I sold you on bad friends in this. I've got to sue him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, you know what I got. I love it. Tickets to Oasis next year. Woo!

Nice. I got in line. What do you mean? Why? Oasis fucking rules. They're the best on me. I got in line online. Luke, my cousin got online.

You had to sign up for a fucking code just to be able to try to buy tickets. Whoa. And then you put your preference or cities and it was like Boston, Vegas. Call Taylor. Call Taylor. So. You're friends with people. Oh, oh, oh.

You can't. You don't have any connections to go into Oasis. I buy tickets. I know, but you can get in. Why? I buy tickets. You can make a phone call. To who?

Who? Your agent. No. They don't. Why would they be able to do anything? Who reps Oasis? You'd have to look it up. Yeah.

But music and, nah. I've done that before. Yeah. You rub green day or whatever, you know, and then they go, yeah. I just don't have that in me to do. I don't, I'd rather them get me a fucking job. Yeah. Then get me tickets for Oasis.

The one time I did that was George Lopez. I never met George Lopez. And I had a Mexican girlfriend named Christine Portillo. Then the door was open to George. As soon as he sees you with a Mexican girl, you're in. Yeah, it was in. Yeah. It is true.

Yeah, yeah. And so, wait, that's how you get in with all those Mexicans. What the fuck are you talking? You go to Edward James almost his house, dude. You got to bring a Mexican, then. Why? They love it. So you know that, you know it?

Dude, I'm dressed like an al-Mariacci When you walk in Yeah, I have those bolo ties, dude I come in You know what I'm in? Yeah, I come in like that So my point is that I didn't even know what I was talking about

You have no point. George Lopez. Oh, George Lopez, yeah, so I didn't know him and I call it my agent They gave me fourth row At some of a theater Somewhere in downtown.

What show? It was somewhere in L.A., downtown L.A. George Lopez, I said. Oh, I thought I thought George got you to. You got tickets to see George Lopez? I don't know him at this point, I said.

Oh. Yeah. How old are you? I'm in my 30s. And you went to see stand-up? I know. Fucking gross. It's so gross.

I would never. I know. And then I almost didn't get the tickets. I don't know, dude. It was like one of those. Is there anything I could do? Weren't you on mad at that time? Yeah.

Yeah. I almost didn't get George Lopez tickets. Have you? Now I know him well so I could get tickets now. But, yeah. So he just insane. What? To go see.

The worst part. And I love George, but he comes up, like, I guess, in a machine. What the fuck are you talking about? He's on stage. It comes up like Michael Jackson or something. Like Prince? Yeah. Like out of the hole in the around.

Something a hole of the crowd. Yeah. And he comes up like this. Wild. No way. Yeah, dude. Like Elvis, dude. I remember he didn't turn around for like two minutes. Right?

And I literally got up. And I go, let's come on. I poked her like this. I go, let's go, let's go. It's too long. It's too much. It's two minutes and way too long to be around like that.

You know what George is? George is a comic. He's a real comic. And he likes comics. So like I know some people that don't know George think like he might be a little stern or not cold, but like, you know, whatever.

But to comics, he's like loves comedians. I love him. He loves the culture. or so much of comics. I love him so much. He's a great guy. So I have a lifestyle change that's happening

and you guys are going to be privy to it. Lifestyle change. Thank you. I found a new lease on life. New lease on life. Here in Atlanta. Tell me. How much?

I don't want to be criticized but I joined a group. I found a group here of people that align with my beliefs and my pretty cool. Mike, I understand. One battle after another, remember, that white society? It's been wonderful.

And we get together. Let me, can I ask you some questions about the group? It's just a hang. And ask you some questions about the group? Sure. What's the group called? Yeah, but there's a lot of names. Give me the main name.

The lobbyist group. The brotherhood. The brotherhood. So the brotherhood's like A-PAC and they give money to senators and Congress. Yeah. All right. All right. What are you lobbying for?

singularity. Oh, singularity. When it comes to singularity, if I may, I work for ABC, by the way. My name is Nathan Brannohue. Oh, hey, Mr. Brownahue. You've got to be brand new. What? Brannahue.

Brannahue is my name. Is your dad just a white guy? I was adopted. Oh, really? Yeah. Well, it's about you. We don't have a lot of time. I'm interested in Branoahu.

I know. I'm looking at the brotherhood. All right. So when you're singularity. Hold on. She's calling here. Hello? Hello. Was Carlos out of pocket?

Was Carlos out of pocket at all? Tone tone tone ones. Who the fuck is Tone? Okay, can you hang up the phone now? All right, Kat. We got to go. We got to go. Bye bye-bye.

Goodbye. So now we're opening a window into who's abusive. Well, that's a character I play. Okay, so he, when he wants to be abusive, he turns into Tone Tone-Ton-Gallor. All right. Now, Tone-Gallor. You're gay. Yeah

Bobby made up the name You got all these It was Bobby's character for me You named it When did you walk into a room He went I'm tone tone galore What the fuck is going on? That's not what happened

We're in your penguin suite In Sydney or wherever And you were like I did have a penguin suite You were like your tone tone galore Go Like it was like improv But you've adopted this character

Yeah I'm Do you wear certain clothing To be tonedone It's that I went to a gay conversion camp and I'm trying to get others to go. There's a backstory to Tone Gun Galo. Yeah. And if you don't agree to go to the camp, I immediately like really hurt you. Did you go to the camp?

Yeah. And I'm not gay anymore. And I want other people to not be gay too. And so I would hit Kat really hard and like leave marks on her and stuff. Seriously? Yeah. That's not fucking cool. That's not good either.

So who's being emotionally abuse? Well, that's physical. But that's funny. That's not funny. Everyone laugh. Because you're tone tone. You can. Where do you smack her?

The thigh, ass, anywhere. This is insane. Oh, hold on. Hello. Can you explain to me tone tone galore? I mean... Yeah, yeah.

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money. I'll tell you this, guys. I had so many un-run it wanted. Subscribe. out there, video games on my phone apps. You had so many crap apps. Sleeping medication, meditation apps. Well, you had that noise. And then the rock skipping game that was charging you? The rock skipping, yeah. This guy bought an app.

He bought something where you skip a rock all that. Thousands of money I was bleeding. And Andrews said, get on rocket money. And I've saved thousands of dollars. It is a personal finance app that helps you find and cancel unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills. you can grow your savings. That's what it is.

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I love Talkspace. You know, therapy is saved my life. Both of us. Talkspace is the number one rated online therapy, bringing you professional support from licensed therapists and psychiatrists that you can access anytime, anywhere. Well, you typically get paired up within 48 hours, which is huge about Talkspace.

And I will say, Bobby and I have talked about it pretty candidly on the show for many, many years now. Both of us believe in therapy. I do think Talkspace is very inclusive, and it provides treatment for individuals. It's the best one. LGBTQIA plus community veterans teens everybody no matter who you are I do think talking to someone is very imperative it helps you get to where you want or need to be depending on what your goals are

and we've been using it for a long time and I'm happy also unlike other telehealth companies psychiatry is available through talk space so you can get the medication you need to supplement your talk therapy if needed talk space may get in help you need easy accessible and affordable plus most insured members have a zero dollar co-pay and as our listener of this podcast you're going to get $80 off your first month with Talkspace when you go to Talkspace.com and enter the promo code Space 8. That's Space 80.

S-P-A-C-E-A-D-E-A-D. To match with a licensed therapist today, go to Talkspace.com and enter promo code space 80. Who's Tocon-Tong-Gal. I can't. Yeah, yeah, you can. Who is Tone-Tong-Gil-L-R? That Carlos

Carlos-adopted. Thank you. Adopted. Pretty method acting. And he, like, I think he was like, is he violent? Is he violent? Is he violent?

Yeah, yeah. He's a Christian counselor. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. So what? All his repression comes out in violence? It's because you're repressed. Is that what it is?

You're a gay guy who can't come out. And I want other people to be involved with you. Oh, you're. Wait, I'm trying to understand this character. So you're repressed, you went to conversion camp. It didn't work. No, it did work. I'm not gay anymore.

Yeah, right. Yeah, but I work for the camp and I want other people to come and they never listen to me, so I hit them. So when people come... So when people come... You're fucking... See what I'm dealing with? I'm dealing with fucking layers of psychology here. Yeah, it's sick.

Stop. It was your idea. Wait a minute. How did I come with ton, tone, go low? That's insane. You came up with the name. That's all I needed.

Is that something that I would come up with, tone tone galore? Definitely. But wait a minute. It was the seed. I'm the tree. So you went to camp. Yeah.

You want others to come to camp to change. Yeah. Because you think it worked on you. Yeah. Now you're not secretly given tuggies at camp. No, absolutely not. You're not being a bad boy in the box? No, I liked my conversion.

Because of the suppression though, repression, I mean, it comes out in violence. Yeah. And so for him to say that to me was insane. Why don't you just fuck a guy? Yeah, just get it over with. Because I went to camp and I don't need to anymore. See, this sounds like someone who's denying their truth. I think you're mad at me because I slept in bed with a girl and we didn't have sex.

No, I'm not mad at that. I just think it's odd for an adult male. I was tired. How old are you again? 39. Come on. I was tired. It's not odd.

It's just gay. Did you try? No, I didn't try it. Oh, I promise. But you can't, look, you have to try. A hundred percent. Yeah, yeah. You can't.

How do you have no? Are you not attracted at all to her? I'm not. She's very pretty. I've seen her. I saw her on FaceTime last night. They fucking face around me from bed. I was like, why did you pick up the phone?

What? I was super attracted to her friend when we met. And so that's like the connection. Is she attracted to you? Probably not. Why would you say it like that? She flew here from Nashville. Yeah, I mean, she's cool.

It's like a 30-minute flight. Oh, it is. Oh, I don't know. It's two minutes away. Wait a minute, though. She flew here to see you. Was there a discussion we're going to be sleeping the same bed? Did that ever come up?

No, because we've done it before in Vegas before. So it wasn't. You were in fucking Las Vegas and nothing happened? Yeah. I'm shocked. I'm astonished. And there was a gay. There were two beds in that one.

There was a gay guy in the other bed. And everyone just had a good time. I watched Game of Thrones on my iPad. Who was a, Who was in the other bed? Tone Tone galore? Whatever the fuck is. Hey.

It's Caligula. It's dark. Could you sleep in a bed with a woman just as a friend? I've done it so many times. Oh, you're so gay, dude. No, but here's my excuse. Okay. See that attitude right there?

Fuck you, man. Fuck you. All right, see? There we go. I know. Well, you just... Did you see it? You definitely just started it.

Yeah. Anyway, he's such a gas slider. Gases up, dude. Gas is up. All day long. Can I finish my brotherhood? Yeah, I'm done with it. What was my name again?

Bramahue. Bramahue. Nathan Bramahue. Nathan Bramahue. Yeah. Anyway, welcome back. Good commercial break. Anyway, so the Brotherhood,

what is your name again? Cliff. Hi, Cliff. How are you? So you guys are lobbyists. Singularity is what you said. That's what we're looking at. Yeah, yeah.

I understand that. And you know what? I love your books. Yeah. Yeah. How to Die in Alabama was a great. How to Die in Alabama was a great book. We're big into book Burnings.

Right, right. And your references to Timothy McVeigh was incredible. You know what I mean? Terrible human being. No, don't do that. Whenever you say his name, I have to. I have to salute. Really?

Yeah. Okay. Tim? David Koresh. Ruby Ridge. Ruby, Ruby Ridge. Bring up a picture of Stone Mountain. This is where I'm staying.

So the joke that we're obviously making is I learn on my first fucking day driving down this is it. I'm driving down I'm driving down Robert E. Lee Boulevard. Oh, they got my photo wrong. Yeah. They carved it wrong.

Oh, your eyes. Your eyes look different there. I'm driving down Robert Ely Boulevard. I get to the set and one of the crew members is like, I was like, ooh, tough, tough little road out there. He's like, yeah.

The resurgence of the KKK started here. I was like, what? He's like right here in Stone Mountain. So go back to the other picture, Carlos. You can see it. We're shooting near this thing. It's this big national park. And he was like, yeah, the KKK started on the outside of this stone mountain.

Whoa. The resurgence of it. It's fucking insane. And I go and I said to the cop, there's cops everywhere inside of this park. It's a national party. There's cops all over the way. And the cop comes to set and he's like chatting with us about the movie. There they are.

Oh, there I am. There's still not. No. No, I wasn't in this one. I took that photo. I'm chatting with the cop. And I was like, I was like, what's this place known for? He's like, the KKK and suicide.

I go, what? He goes, people jump off of that fucking thing all the time. And the woods are so dense and thick. They shot stranger things in these woods where we're filming, some of it. And he goes, people get drugs, do drugs, get drunk and go get lost in the fucking wood. Is it beautiful? It is oddly beautiful.

Yeah, yeah. It's kind of, it's like, I get it. It will probably abuse the people. Well, I get it. If you're going to do it, do it somewhere pretty. What's been going on with you other than having all this time off? Beautiful. You're sitting.

Are you helping your wife? No, I'm here. I'm watching Bobby doing pirouettes and getting naked on stage and I'm in time of my life. By the way, our contract punishment with MGM because your butt hole in Vegas is gone now because I re-signed with MGM again. Oh yeah. So we're out of jail now. That's you. I think I'm still in jail. No, you're good. Really? Yeah, we asked. They said you're good.

MGM, I'm good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No more butthole stuff. Yeah, no, no, no but no. No, he didn't do it. I didn't do enough. The whole deaf community came to see Bobby last night. The deaf community? Uh-huh. You are a visual act. Yeah. Yeah. It's not as much what you say is what you do. Are you making fun of the translator up there? No, making fun. She did such a good. She did a great job. How do you fucking know? You don't speak sign. I know if I was looking to the left, I go, she was doing her like, the Down syndrome making love to her have.

What if she was like this dumb Korean more fat, this stupid, this Korean fat clown? Yeah, yeah, yeah. She was good. She did that. So wait, how many deaf people came to the show? I don't know, dude, they just was a translator. Is that what you call them?

Interpreter. Interpreter, yeah. Interpreter, yeah. But did you meet the deaf person? Yeah, they came up afterward. No, there was no deaf people. The interpreters, though, came backstage. afterwards oh they did yeah and I go what's a you know that kind of thing you know

it was good yeah I just said hi I just said hi yeah yeah so how many shows do you have left now this year before your special comes four maybe four or five three are you are you're happy I'm so done it's good it's a grind but it's a good grind it's a good grind yeah but I I I'm dude I'm a home guy I know I'm the polar opposite I know you love being out I don't want to go home ever I know but what about your dog I love my dog I wish my dog and my wife could just be a mobile. I want to, you know, I'm going to be one of those guys that gets a camper and travels. I'll go with you.

I want to sell my house so bad and just go. Yeah, you've always been like that. Let's go. I'll tell you why. Why? When I was a kid, we moved a lot into apartments in Chicago. Your dreamer. And then by the time we got to the suburbs, that house was a house, not a home to me.

It was a place I, like, went to high school in. Oh, it didn't feel like home. I didn't have a childhood home. Ah. We were in apartments. and then when we got a house. Yeah. Why can you just call that your child at home?

Because it doesn't feel like it. Yeah. But how long do you have to be in a house for it to be a child at home? I think you have to grow up as a young kid there for a teenager. Like your most formidable years, like four to nine is your childhood home. Yeah. So Minnesota is my childhood home. 100%.

That is your child at home. Yeah. San Diego is where you like. I still think San Diego is where all the drugs happened. Well, that's not good. Oh, no. That's not a good time. Yeah, yeah.

You know why Christian Bale snapped on that side. When you first listen to that Christian Bail thing, you're like, well, it's a little too much, but that really fucking pissed me off. I agree to them from the beginning. I thought from the beginning it was legitimate. You know what I mean? By the way, when you hear the background. Do you see me moving around your lights when you're doing your job?

What do you say in the thing? He's like, you're in the shot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was. Yeah, yeah. By the way, the guy had. We're not working together again, man. You know what I mean?

He apparently did it multiple times. So it wasn't like a fucking one-off. We haven't had any explosions on set. That's great. But it's heavy. We're shooting probably a 40-day movie in 22 days. Wow. It's insane.

We're pulling 14-hour days. How many scenes in the day? A lot. Six. Wow. We're gunning as fast as we've ever. It's fucking insane what we're doing. Stamos, Heather Graham.

Amazing. It's so cool. Amazing. So nice. So cool. So funny. Stamos. My boss was Ralph Machio.

Ralph is in it? Yeah, how was he? I talked about you. I met him before. He's got to come on the show. He wants to come on bad. I've met Ralph. I said the last episode,

we just talked about Pat Marita. Yeah. Can I tell you about what? Here's what my brother and Ralph almost got into it. Your brother fought karate kid? It was so embarrassing. I had to kick my brother out of a theater. What happened?

So I was hosting a, the Asian Excellence Awards. And this is one of my brother's just drinking. You know, and we were, so it was Danny DeVito, Ralph Macho, sitting on a couch in the back of this theater. The babes of Hollywood. What? This is the mega babes. And so my brother was drunk and my brother had never been around Hollywood, anyone.

Sure. Right? So my brother had a beer and they're sitting around a couch and I swear I got my brother. This is Ralph Macho's head right here looking this way. My brother would go up behind him and go, karate kid, man. That sounds like Steve. karate kid man The past you're the best

So Ralph probably like that No he They all moved away Alright Of course And I post you just To fucking talk to anybody Don't talk to Machio that way

No talk to anybody Don't talk to If you don't know how to do it Don't do it Well how does he do it You don't say shit Dude if you're okay Let's say I'm fucking

Pat Marita Yeah We're in an elevator Aren't you supposed to be dead I know I'm alive This is 1988 All right.

All right. This is after, this is pre-k karate kid after happy days. Okay. So I'm in a really bad zone. No, maybe he was happy. No, he was doing commercials and stuff.

All right. All right. Okay, walks on, wax off, walks on. He has the script. No, it's being developed. Oh, he has the script.

He has a script. It's being, he's tracking it. He's tracking the project. Right, so he's trying to get into the role. See, he already knows some of the lines. He read about it in the trades. What?

He read about it. He read about the trades. Right, right. And they won't see them right now. No. Yeah, yeah. They're looking for other ones. You and I are in an elevator together now.

I don't know if this is, the setup is so elaborate already. I don't think it's going to, the weight of it is going to crumble. The weight of it's going to crumble, but I'm going to try anyway, okay? So what do I say? Do you say nothing or say something? Okay, if you're Pat, I would look over. Who to who, Waxana, Waxon, Danielson, Danielson, Danielson. Danielson.

Danielson. Hey, yeah, hiya, hiya, okay. Excuse me, hello? Sunday Monday Happy day Tuesday Wednesday Happy day Thursday

Friday happy day Happy day Hey bye bye Big bye By bye That's what you would That's what you would just sing with him That's so dumb

Dude that's worse than like You sang back Oh that's You fucking immediately Say it back Like how fun would that be Yeah Monday

The movie's good And Tim Simons plays, Tim Simons and Cinquah Walls play by best friends, and they're fucking both so good. It's so funny. Tim flew back to L.A. last weekend. And I was like, where are you going to see your family? He's like, I got to go to the Emmys. I was like, that's awesome. And he was like, it is.

But he's like, this is hard travel because of the shoot schedule is fucking insane. And he goes, also, you know, he went a thousand times for Veep because that show got nominated every fucking year. And he's like, you know, it's still fun, but it changes your perception when you have family and work and they're like, you got to get back to do this saying, I was like, man, I'm never going to ever get invited.

Have you ever been to the Emmys? I've never been to any award show. Me either. Yeah, we'll never go. No, don't, don't say that. They don't want us to go. I know they don't want us to go, but we have to go.

Can you imagine them looking at the guest list and they're like, how the fuck are these guys on it? I know. Like, even if we did get an award. Yeah. They probably wouldn't let us show up for it. Yeah.

I was looking back at some of the playback I used to interview people on the enemies. Oh, yeah. I used to be the interviewer. Do we have that footage? Yeah, we looked it up. It's on YouTube. It's bad.

Please don't look it out. Please look it up. Yeah. But anyway, I used to interview people on the red carpet. For who? For ABC? No, for Fox. It's embarrassing.

Stop. I want to hear it. No, I want to hear it. It's so embarrassing. It's so bad. He's a homeless guy that lives outside my house. Okay, turn off. Turn off.

Turn it off. Turn it off. It won't turn off, dude. You know, after watching that clip, I gotta tell you. Good bad. You've grown so much as a comedian. Dude, that was Colbert. I know.

Well, yeah, I saw it. From so long, I didn't remember that. It was like 30 years ago. It was like 30 years ago. You look good. Skinny young Bob. Yeah. Look at you now.

But that's the closest I ever got to the Emmy. They wouldn't let me inside. They will never get it. They don't let you inside. Blue Chew! Blue Chew! is the official sponsor of bad friends. You know what else Blue Choo should sponsor?

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You ever have ever happen? It's happened, yeah. Yeah. Your customers do that to you too, right? Yeah, the customers do that. That's why at some point, you just got to say, let's fucking quote, dude. All right. Today's episode brought to you by quo spelled QUO, the business phone system built so you never

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What? No, I believe you, but I, I, I don't believe you too. Why? I'm in the middle, because sometimes you'll go, I did a good job, but they come to, I'll call other people and go, oh, no, that was the worst thing I've ever seen. So it's like, I don't know. I can't tell if you're being real or authentic. I'm being real right now. I think it was great.

So I do you want me to say to make it. No, because I swear in my mom's life. I understand that because shooting it was so hard. Yeah, it looked impossible. I would have hated it. It was so hard. And then afterwards it's like, where is it? It's been years.

Well, he's got, so you don't know what the project looks like. You did it two years ago. I know. No, well, that's, all right. I mean, it's not that old. Right. Was I fat in it? You look the same as you do now.

Fat. No, you don't look fat. You look the same. You're not fat. When were you fat? I think you're fat because we make jokes. Yeah, I have fat. You've never been fat. Yeah.

Okay, thank you. You've never been, not to me. What does that mean? You just told me Bobby look fat like an hour ago. You didn't want to wait yet. You also, no, dude, fuck you. Get out of here. Can I also, too, get out of here.

Can I also retake? Go back to your country. This is, you're in the South, dude. You better go back to where you came from, Spanish. Can I tell you reason why I know you're right? Because yesterday he did the GLP three joke again on the phone. It's a good joke. You know, you need to be on GLP.

three, you're so fat. So what you're saying, I am fat then. No, you're not. Why did you see the GLP 5 Joe yesterday? It's just a funny joke. The three already? Yeah. We went from two, one, two, yeah, dude, to five now. No, I told him, take GLP 1 and 2 so you can get to GLP 3. You add them together and make

GLP. No, you're not fat. And actually, you look happy and never. So I don't know if you're being sincere, but you know. You know what I mean when I say this. I swear on my mother's life, a person that I would not join. The movie was good. I thought I thought you were very good. Now it changes. No, no, no.

No, no. No, look at me. Yeah. Yes, I enjoyed the film, but I was, I was more so commenting that you're very good in it. Yamanika's so fucking good. Yeah. Genuinely. I was like, this is very fucking good.

Her emotional fucking roller coaster, she goes, it's great, dude. I thought it was fucking great. Like, I really like it. I'm not fucking around. Good, good, thank you. Say something to make sure that I know I'm being genuine. I could call robber right now. Yeah, we talked about it.

I told him. Well, you know what? I told him the same thing. And I said, he goes, do you have any notes? And I said, I would cut a little bit of the fat. There's some fat that the runtime is long. Yeah. What?

Are you called me fat? No. You guys see Resident Evil or something? Yes. Resident Evil, amazing. You saw Resident Evil? Yeah. I liked it too.

You guys watch it? Oh. I want to see it. Tim Simons went to go see it when I was going out. It's really good. And he was like, I just wanted to go see Resident Evil. Yeah. I was like, is it worth it?

he's like absolutely. Yeah. It's so simple, but it's like, you know, he has his own style that guy, dude. You know what I mean? It's so good. It's so good. And then I saw Hope, the Korean movie.

Oh, I want to see that so bad. I saw it too. No, I have my opinion about it. Yeah, too many Koreans. Fucker. I want to see Degger. The problem with that movie is that it's three hour long and then you get to the end and it's like, oh, this is just part one or whatever.

Here's the problem with the movie, okay? My problem with the movie is that it's another movie of two halves. Yeah. Okay. The first hour and a half of that movie is a masterpiece. Great. Great. The ending is the worst thing you've ever seen in your life.

So it's like, take it for what it is. Is it really that bad? It's abrupt and it changes the whole thing. And it looks like the second part is from that, the perspective of the other people. Yes. Exactly. It's like a point of view adjustment. It's told through another lens then.

Yeah, but I don't, but you don't like it. You're like, why would you do that? Yeah. Is it being well received? Yeah. I mean, with the cans. One to can. Yeah.

Just kind of crazy. Another place we'll never get to go. Oh, that's the last place I'm going to go. Wouldn't that be so fun? I'd love to go. You know, Venice, I've always, I have fantasies of going to Venice, going on a yacht, going on a yacht with Brad. With Pitt dog?

Yeah. With Pitsy? With that dog from that new movie he's in. Yeah. Just the dog? Throw the dog in the ocean and save it again. Just like the movie. Just doing it over and over a day long.

Yeah, I would keep doing it like the movie. When a new guest comes on the boat, you do the bit again. I do the bit again. Check this out, right? I'll get them. Yeah. Just like the movie. Yeah.

Ruffles. Ruffles, yeah. You jump in. But my fantasy is out there with Brad and, you know, with the dog. Who's your Hollywood fantasy in the Venice Film Festival or at Cannes. Khan. Khan. Can?

What is it? Can. Can. Who's thought? Here's my fantasy, right? I wake up at a show. Chateau. Whoa.

Right. So you're not on what, you wake up on the land. You don't want to live on the boat. I'm in two pieces of land. Right. Interesting. There's an, there's a, so here's what it is. There's a lake, right, at Cairns, and there's an island in the middle of the lake.

I'm in that island. Wow. Right. And a chateau, like I said. Anyway, I'm- Who owns the island? Daniel DeLewis. Nice. Yeah, and he calls me.

He calls you. Bye, babe. That's how he sounds like. That's how he sounds like when he's not acting. I'm shocked that that's what he sounds like. I thought by. I go, hello, Daniel. Wait, what character are you doing?

You're doing Phantom Thread right now? I always make the little jokes like that in the morning. Does he like that? He hates it. Yeah, he really does. You know what I mean? He says, don't, you guys, don't make that joke about clogs? Because you know, you're like, you make clogs.

Anyway, my point is, is like, so my fantasy calls me, let's have a croissant. Yeah, of course. Yeah, so we have a croissant. He's a big croissant guy. It really is, right? People know that. And I wear the clogs, just as far as the show. You should.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Is it a pan of chocolate or is it just a regular croissant? The fucking clogs are panache chocolate. What? You're wearing panacea lot? And it's the worst because when you step down, the chocolate goes in between her toes. Oh, no.

Yeah, yeah. So I walk in with the panache chocolate, right? And he always does like a laugh. Oh. That's how he laughs. Wow. I mean, I get it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

This is a great dream. It's not a dream. Oh, it is a dream. Yeah, so I wake up. Oh, I have a dream. I have a dream. That one day Bobby will wear a pan of chocolate shoes. Yeah.

And then we do. Can I finish my? On an island. Go ahead. Panoply Cruz. Pineapple Cruz and I. Pineapple Cruz and I, dude. We go fucking snow sledding in the lake.

In fucking the summer? Yes. In the summer. No, sick. You set that up. To get the ice out there is hard. So expensive. You know how much ice sheets of ice you have to get to create that like.

Who's paying that tab, Daniel? No, dude. Pineapple? Elon. A Musk dog is? Yeah, he loves it. Yeah. It's his lake.

What's your fantasy? You have a Cannes fantasy? Honestly? Yeah. Is what's the one with the big staircase? That's Venice Film Festival. With like that big, that's Cannes. Oh, you fall down.

I want to fall down. Yeah. I want to fall down. You and our holding hands? How fun would that be? You and I holding hands at the top. And we fall. And we do a tumble all the way down.

All the way down. Right. And in my pocket, I've catch up. Yep. Or, you know what? I'll go to real Hollywood store and get real blood. No, ketchup's funnier.

Ketchup's funnier. Because someone will be like, is that ketchup? Right, and I put it all in my face. But it's a ton of ketchup. Yeah. And I get up. Like, our pockets are filled with ketchup.

Okay. Like, imagine. I mean, it's my bit. I'm the one that did the stuff. I'm not on the ketchup. Okay. I created the ketchup. Okay.

All right. Sorry for yelling, guys. So I fall down the stairs and then you fucking, you really hitched your fucking. On top of it. And I come up with redfin. Right, I scream. Right.

And my neck is broke. Broken. So now you have to drag me by my shoulder. Yeah. Legs are flopping around like a fish. Yeah. And they're like, they're not promoting anything. And then we don't know how they showed up.

We don't even get in. We don't even get in. We didn't even have tickets. What's it like in there, you think? I bet you're so boring. I know. Finger food and small talk. I know.

Finger food and small talk. That's like how all these things are. Any Hollywood event you go to, you're like, this sucks shit. Yeah. There's always one guy that's like, you know, snaked his way in there and he's miserable and he has to talk to you.

And you're like, what do you do? He's like, nothing. I'm just a producer and I make millions of dollars and I don't fucking do anything. Yeah,

I was at the variety party at Comic-Con and I ended up like talking to Mr. Frost from X-Men. What's his name? Who? Mr. Freed? Mr. Freed?

Iceman. Ice-Man from X-Men. Oh, X-Men. Arnold Schwarzenegger would have been way cooler. As Mr. I know that I know I'm with Iceman.

You're going to go down, Batman. But, yeah, so you like Resident Evil. Anyway, what else is out there? The point is we're never going to get an award. Yeah. But that's cool. I think it's more rock and roll to not get an award. But we've been in projects where they get to go.

I've been in that situation. We're all going. I'm on the show too. You're not going. I did three seasons of Dave, and we didn't get nominated. once and I thought that's it was FX's biggest comedy wow and we still didn't get nominated because it's all politics I was talking to Tim Simons about it he was like there's so much positioning it's so weird it's not this isn't like what everybody likes I mean sometimes it really

is but a lot of times it's just look when Leo won he could have won for 50 fucking things yeah why that yeah probably my one of my least favorite projects of his to be honest I think the pressure gets so unreal that they're like we have to give it to them but they could have done it so many other i know but there's competition those years you know well that's the issue so it's not the best it's what's slotted the best time yeah it's timing it's what's the best timing for all that shit yeah i want to be that guy when i grow up do fucking one movie a year and it's a banger if every year maybe every two three years that'd be great we got to get into tarentino's next and last movie how do you get in there well pick up those feet pictures again and fucking send that over

Yeah. I saw your chigger feet, man. And immediately we get in the film. Yeah. I'm concerned with the cut on your forehead. Because I heard, yeah, I heard about how it, see, you don't even know. Lift up your hair line in the very front. Look. Oh, up here. That'd be your forehead.

What happened here? The pirouettes love, mate. So you were pirouette on stage? Oh, no, I know what I hit my head on the stage. How? Yeah, I was climbing the stages like this. Okay, so the stage is high at the tabernacle. Yeah, it's very high. So I'm like like a spider monkey just hanging off the ledge like this, right? How did you get down first? Oh, I almost died. You know, McCone as an elevator. I got on his shoulders. I don't want to see it. Okay. Dude, in fact, take to screen off. No, it's leave the bad friends. Yeah, yeah, leave the bad friends. But I don't want to see another video of that thing. We have it.

Okay. Because you want to, he wants to showcase his work. That's what this whole thing is at. Look at the camera angle. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I develop. You know what I mean? Very Kubrick. Very Kubrick.

It's like, shut the fuck up. I don't want to see it. That's so your goal. Yeah. What is it with you? I just want to show my work. Yeah, yeah. But I don't want to see it now.

We say, you know, you know, when you show your, this is what you do. Look what I did this weekend on a phone. Not on a broadcast like this. Okay. Well, we do pay him to do that. Yeah, that's why I get out here. Okay, you're right. And I'll say this.

Okay. Did you, I know we're not talking about it, but did you, did you have night terrors on the Greyhound? I was really worried I was going to, but no. I mean, my days were terrifying. Imagine him sleepwalking up to the bus driver of the Greyhound. I would have been like everyone else on the bus. Just, just screaming and running down the aisles and... He got chased by a pack of dogs.

No. Did you really? I cannot wait to talk about it. I can't wait to talk about it. He sent me video. I was tracked. He gave me his location, so I was tracking him. I wanted to see where he was day to day.

Like I'd wake up in bed, make coffee, snuggle into my bed and watch the little TV before I going to set. And he's in like, you know, Ramawau, Texas or whatever the fuck it is. It was amazing. It was incredible. And I saw the bus slowly moving through time and space. And then he slept in motels that are unspeakably shit. Or on the bus.

I slept a lot of nights on the bus as well. The showers? In the motels? Yeah, some days I just didn't. There's no shower on the bus, Bob. There's no shower on the bus? There's a bathroom. Yeah, and it's a bus.

Is there a bath? Yeah, there's a bathroom. That's part of the song. The bath on the bus goes split. Everybody knows. There's wheels on the bus and there's a bathtub in the bus. No, there's a fucking, no, he showered at motels, but he showed me a motel and I'm telling you, dude,

they always. They always look exactly how you think they're going to look. Like disgustingly creepy, stain old bed, shitty headboard and the round shitty mirror in the bathroom in the little nasty little soaps. They're so sad. Motels are tough, dude. Motels are tough. Still no sugars.

Still no sugars. Probably has bed bugs though. You have bed bugs for sure. Yeah. I bet you got something. You brought something along. How do you get bed bugs? I don't want them.

You live in New York. They're in the sheets. Really? Really? So if I'm in a hotel... They go in the bed. They go into the mattress. They go live inside the mansion. They burrow in and then they hatch eggs. So if I'm in a hotel, right, and I don't know what I'm trying to hear that.

Are you a kangaroo? Yeah, I'm a kangaroo. I'm a kangaroo. I'm a kangaroo. I'm in a hotel. I have no idea. What is he doing for a job? Well, I didgerid does. Oh, you selling that guy? Yeah, this kangaroo sells disre dues. Yeah, so I'm in a bed. I've always wanted... I've never Googled it, but I'm in a bed. There's bed bugs in it.

go back to LA, could I take those bed bugs with me? You better believe it. Yeah, that's how they get around. So they live in your clothes. They live in, yeah, they live in your clothes and your hair. Yeah, so what are they? You can wash your hair or they can still be in it. Especially as dense as your hair is. Whoa, what do they look like? I don't know, dude.

No, no, this is, I'm setting you up at a joke. No, no. I underhand it to you. No, no. My friend. And I tossed it right back. No, no, yeah, yeah. I hit it right back to you. Yeah, yeah. What do they look like? Pop, pop. Bop. Up, set. Yeah, yeah.

Oh, back again. Okay. All right, all right. So we don't know what they look like. They look, they're little and their little tiny black dots. They're small, right? Bring up a chick, not a chick, bring up a bed bug. They look like Doc.

What's going on, bud? I wasn't able to get on the Wi-Fi. That's why it took me so long. I pulled up the photo. Carlos just texted it to me. You know it would have been smart to work all this stuff out before we got here. That'd have been sick. He had a hard night.

What? You had a hard night. What were you doing? You with a girl? We were with some people we met at the show, but also with Vojacked. Don't be fucking Koi. You were with a girl last night. For a little bit.

From my show. No, no, there's going to be a new rule, guys. What? He's not allowed to get pussy from your show. It's my show. It's my pool of people. Yeah, but you're, I need permission. You're in a relationship.

You're out. It doesn't matter. I have, dude, my fans, listen, everyone. If you're listening, okay, my fans stay within our clan. You don't go outside. He is in our clan. No, no, he's not. part of my he he's a part of the bad friends

clan but when I do my solo show it's the Bobby Lee universe damn it's a different it's like you know it's a black hole it's not DC Marvel but it's like I'm X-Men and he's more you know what I mean regular

Thor he's a civilian no he's he's a civilian you're like the blob don't have sex with my fans that's a bed bug was she beautiful she's very pretty yeah and what's this that's bed bug? Yeah. Wow. And they speak like three different languages. Most it's seriously. Oh, they're like AOC. Yeah. Yeah. I don't even know. Does she speak English? I don't know.

Yeah, no, it's a good joke. It's a good joke. But anyway. But they're also, they're native. So we should acknowledge I didn't know your own stolen bed. Oh. They're native to this bed. They're native to this bad. Every time I climb into a bed in New York, I say that I say I want to, I want to do a land, a bed acknowledgement before I go to sleep to respect. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Wow. And they destroy it. So you have to burn everything I heard. You do. You have to light it on fire. Or you have to fucking like bleach it and shit. It's crazy.

I've known two comics that have had. I'm not going to name them. I've never had it. In New York, not in L.A. Okay, good. I don't think we, I don't think LA is prevalent. No, yeah, I'm sure you can. Yeah. But it's just probably in very seedy. But get rid of bed bugs. You got a multi-step cleaning, heating, treating plan.

Clear out trash mess in your bedroom. Wash your sheets, blankets, clothes, and hot water. Dry your laundry on high heat, 30 minutes. Vacuum your mattress seems insane to put your vacuum on your bed. Just burn your bed Use a steamer heated at 1.30 on your mattress couch and baseballboards Zip up covered on your mattress. I've heard it's a genuine nightmare

And you just have to throw away your mattress Because once they burrow in and they have eggs, it's over. Yeah, Los Angeles ranks as one of the top metro areas of the United States For bed bug activity. Wow. Oh my God, it's got your address on there. Small blood smears on the sheets Or dark rusty fecal spots on mattresses and bed frames.

That's how you know you got it. Yeah Now how do they get in there No dogs maybe too huh They burrow into skin or no No no no no okay They're just itchy They're itchy

I miss my fucking wife And my dog so much I wanna go home too dude The pictures are crazy Yeah I get the pictures every day They're having fun They're playing in the backyard

Hitchhiking or personal belonging traveling from nearby units Brought in second hand items So they can get there by anything I would assume McCone's Greyhound buses Yeah McCone's come pretty close to it So secondhand furniture

for like thrifted stuff. That's all, that's your whole place. Yeah, but half of it's my fucking furniture. I walked into his apartment for the first time. I was like, that's my everything. It was my bed. It was my dresser. It was my coffee table.

Your light. My light. It was like my whole house. Your clothing. A lot of my fucking clothes is that. Yeah, a ton of my clothes. So we learned today, Carlos, what's your character's name?

Tone, ton, galore. Yeah, Tone, ton, galore. See, you say it, so I know that it was you that made it up. It's 100% on you. Excuse me? You made up Tone, Tone, galore. Now, he embodied the character, but you made it up. I stand lead it.

You stand lead it. I think I did. I created the character and then it got... It got bigger than you could control. I could control it. It's like AI. It's going to kill us in three years. He's going to kill everybody, yeah.

How many years do you think we have left? I'm being genuine. In, wait, bad friends or life? No, before we die. Bad friends is life. Yeah, yeah. You like that? It is life.

No, do you think AI really is going to happen in two years? they say they by the end of 2000 30 that there's a 10% chance that civilization could be gone. It's kind of tight. It's pretty tight. I'm going to get a gun. I'm going to, I have to take a class. About the gun? Yes.

Imagine he's like, no, I just want to go, I'm going to go relearn another history. Because I don't, let's be real. I've never held one. Cyprus. Yeah. I've seen them in the movies So I know how they work I got a gun come over all you can have my yeah

You can use my guy So I want to learn how to like what the safety is How to put the bullets in correctly You know what I mean? Maybe get that Kind you know what I mean with the fucking chamber You die so fast in the apocalypse I don't have a computer Yeah so that's good

That's a good thing You might be the only fucking Asian guy Without a computer on earth I thought they like come with you guys No wait It's built into us I got mine removed Yeah

That was a cerebral cortex But the apocalypse is not going to be You don't need a gun Because they're going to poison the water They're going to shut off the electricity This is where they kill us Food source Food source

I'll get $50 water at Air One Air One won't be around Oh fuck You know why? What? Because all the people that work there Their Priuses won't be able to charge Oh yeah

Because we won't have electricity Yeah And their bikes And their e-bikes Won't work either And the guy's on the one wheel, you know the one wheel guy? Where's he gonna plug that in? And that's the entire staff.

I love that one wheel guy. You love the one wheel guy. He's a good guy. It's like the guy that roller skates near the studio. Yeah. You know that guy? Yeah. I fucking love that guy.

His calves are unbelievable. One time I asked him, why do you do this? He said, because I killed my wife and I... All right. All right. Thank you for being a bad frack. Where some see heroes and others see egos.

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