Bad Friends - Bobby Out Raps mgk

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Starting point is 00:00:27 Benefits vary by card, other conditions apply. Hey! Hey! Badfriendsmurth.com! We got new shirts. What are these shirts from? Look at little baby Bobby on the cover of what was the Nirvana album.

Starting point is 00:00:39 Yeah, yeah. When I was a senior in high school, this album came out and really influenced me. And I was in kindergarten. We love this album. This is an homage. It's a tip of the hat to- Nevermind Nirvana.

Starting point is 00:00:51 Also, we have posters. You don't have to buy just the shirt of this. You can buy the poster if you wanna hang that in your wall. Hang it in your wall. Hang it in your wall. Hang it in your wall, right inside of your wall. Go to badfriendsmerch.com, badfriendsmerch.com.

Starting point is 00:01:04 Hey, bad friends, I'm on tour in the fall, gearing up to shoot my hour. I'm going to be in Frank, California, Indianapolis, Charlotte, Waukee, Omaha, Kansas City, Cleveland, St. Louis, Grand Rapids, Detroit, New Orleans, San Antonio, Chicago, Durham, Atlanta, Charleston, Philly, New York, Phoenix, San Francisco, San Diego, Boston, and Minneapolis. Go to AndrewSantino.com for those tickets. Andrewsantino.com. You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots?

Starting point is 00:01:30 Woo! A white dude and an Asian dude. Woo! You two are disgusting. Woo! You two are something. We're bad friends. I wonder if there's like nepotism in porn.

Starting point is 00:01:41 Like Ron Jeremy's son has a small t-shirt in his hand. Ha! Ha! Let's not talk about Ron Jeremy he's in prison that's how you want to start today yeah homes John Holmes he's dead I know but just give me one alive posture oh you're male yeah Rocco see Freddy what Rocco seek Freddy who's that Rocco sick Freddy yeah this is the

Starting point is 00:02:01 biggest one Italian it always an Italian that's a woman dude Rocco see Freddy is an Italian pornographic actor Wow let me know your male porn stars yeah yeah I get it I've seen so good you've seen this guy though I've seen him Colton have you seen that guy in porn I guess it's just his face so it's hard to say. Yeah, yeah. I have to see his dick. Right.

Starting point is 00:02:30 I have to see the dick. Yeah, yeah. That's funny. I only look at their face. When they go to check, I look away. There it is. Does that look familiar? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:02:38 Oh, great. Yeah, I know Colson. I know. I'm not Colson. I don't say Colson. I know it, dude. I know Colson. That's ridiculous. It's got to be similar size. Yeah. That's got to be. That's 10 and 1 half is huge. One time I was in back in the day when there was no internet.

Starting point is 00:02:49 And you'd have to go to the, I lived in San Diego, so I had to go to the F Street bookstore. That was the porn bookstore? Yeah. And in the back, they have the videos, right? Yeah. And the one time I was like, this is good, right? I was like jerking off feverishly.

Starting point is 00:03:00 Because you also, I didn't have a lot of money, so there's a timer. You have to do it feverishly. You're racing against the clock? Right. And then there was like, one of this guy was from behind, a girl, and I was doing fevers, and then they panned out with two dudes.

Starting point is 00:03:11 And then right when I saw it was two dudes, I nutted. It's a little too late. Anyway. You want to introduce our guest? Yeah, start new. Yes. Introduce our guest. Do I realize, are you Slenderman?

Starting point is 00:03:23 Anyone else want to move on? I mean, he's got a Slenderman-y, you know whatender man? Anyway, so um so um I know I know you you saved my friend's life by the way. That's right. Oh that was quite the ride. It was the wildest I have a gift for you by the way. I've never seen someone passed out for so long in my life. Oh wow. I brought back your sweater. I thought that was a nice I thought it's a give it. I thought that was a nice, I thought it's a give and it's a get. We have a sweater for you. Ryan, come give him one of ours. Does it have your puke on it?

Starting point is 00:03:50 Yeah. Puke and piss. So we got Colson, MGK is, give him our, MGK is in the house today. Give him a round of applause. Thank you. Right, so, MGK, Colson, from your point of view, tell me the story, what you saw that.

Starting point is 00:04:01 So, Andrew was, okay, go ahead. It was just, he was so normal. And this is what I talked about after you in the bathroom with Megan. I was like, but he was so coherent, right? How did, was he, did you hear anything I said? We had like a 40 minute talk before the plane took off. I do, the whole time I was thinking.

Starting point is 00:04:22 I'm about to puke. I'm about to throw up, so I hope I don't throw up in the middle of this conversation and in my mind I thought I'm gonna be talking to him and I'm gonna look over at Megan She's gonna smile and I'm gonna throw up all over all over her. That was my biggest fear if I puked on you I thought fine. It's sure homies fine. No big deal. And then the whole time I was like, man, I'm not feeling good But it wasn't like a communicable sick. I just felt wrong. By the way, it was just one of the most for someone who I just met for the first time, I asked you an absurd amount of questions. It was just like you knew who Andrew was. And I've watched the show. So I but I was just it was just like such an overloaded

Starting point is 00:05:02 with questions conversation that I normally wouldn't even be hitting people with. So the fact that I chose the most like, pop out. It's so sick. Dude, for four days after that, so I had a gastrointestinal bug. I lost nine pounds. What was it, nine pounds?

Starting point is 00:05:18 I was on the toilet for four days straight. I went to the hospital twice. That's the first time I ever had to help someone get like an oxygen tank out of like the secret compartment in an airplane Through three of them did she couldn't reach it and so I was like I just became involved at that point It was what a good dude because if I saw him even though we have a pocket I wouldn't ignore him. I would like I don't know is that a good part of it was also

Starting point is 00:05:40 That a good bit. Yeah, it's a good bit. Yeah, it's not it's not a good bet. You'd be so concerned for me Yeah, I don't think so dude. He was talking He was and then he came to the bathroom and he was like, are you okay? Are you okay dog? Is it good? And I was like, I don't think so But I also was like I don't want you here right now because I was so embarrassed already Yeah, yeah, and I was like man of all people why did he have to be on the flight? The funny thing but it was good There was a lady in the back who was only concerned was that she had to use the coach bathroom that you were blocking up the only first class bathroom.

Starting point is 00:06:09 Really? There was a lady that was back there. She was like, is that your friend? So like, I mean, how long do you think? Because he's in the only bathroom I can use. I'm like, oh, there's a bathroom back there. She's like, I paid for these seats. Oh, wow.

Starting point is 00:06:22 That's a bad human. That's a bad human being. You can't go to the bathroom. That wow that's a bad human. There's a bad human being you can't By the way, I would have just sat next to the toilet a bit like go ahead Just go right next to me now you would let me right 100% yeah Yeah, no they gave me Narcan and everything so you gave you also gave him your sweatshirt Yeah, yeah, I want when I walked up to the bathroom. He's like looked at these And it was just puke everywhere. Oh my god. And so, yeah, I just.

Starting point is 00:06:46 Why are you laughing at your boss? Yeah, don't do that. It's not at him. Strike one, man. Let's strike one. Keep it up. Yeah, yeah. No, he offered me a sweater, which was so nice

Starting point is 00:06:54 and I literally said, because they, I took off my sweater and then he goes, do you want my sweater? I was like, no, dude, I have piss and puke all over me. And he goes, dude, I don't give a shit. And that's when I fell in love. Bro. Piss and puke all over, I he goes dude I don't give a shit and that's when I fell in love Piss and puke all I was like some poor care at all bro. Not only you look like slender man Probably I've never seen your genitals, but probably great huge. Yeah, I mean you're very talented musician

Starting point is 00:07:18 But now we know that you're a good human being. Oh man, so it just puts flutter Lee butterflies in my mind good human being oh man so it just puts flutterly butterflies in my mind you know you have a raise I have three rates at home you guys have a Chinese cat I was just shooting a video with the child just did this this arm pump and then I was doing the Chinese cat yeah you are my Chinese cat. Am I? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is he a Japanese cat? I don't... No, no, it's okay, Colson. I call him Ching Chong Cats too. Alright. Chat cats. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:07:54 First of all, cat... I mean, what's the obsession with cats with Asia? Well, they... I mean, you're not gonna immortalize dogs because you're not gonna frame food. You know? Oh, God. What is the obsession?

Starting point is 00:08:09 Why is it the cat? Yeah, what is the obsession with it? It's funny because we've had this since we started the show. This was on our desk when we started the show four years ago, and it's never left for some reason. Well, I went to an island in Japan where the whole island was only cat statues. It was thousands and thousands. Which island? I don't know. Were there cats?

Starting point is 00:08:27 No, but in my house is a bunch of cats. Bro, how many do you have? I have three. He's got three. Bro, bro, bro. Colson, bro, bro. You have three cats? Bro. Bro, there's something. No, no, no, no, no, not yet. No, but bro, let me say something that says a lot about you. And it says a lot about me as well. We're big dick people. Is it time? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:08:50 We're big dick people. No. I don't know if that's the same. That's what it means. Right? Marlon Brando had cats. Sick. Big dick guy.

Starting point is 00:08:57 OK. Yeah, yeah. And I'm going to say, let me just say something to you, everyone in this room. OK? I'm tired of people calling me a small little dick guy. Yeah, dude, it's not. It's not right. It's not right. It's not wrong dick guy yeah dude it's not it's not right it's not right it's not wrong or right first of all yeah yeah it is right it's not right it's right no no I'll tell you

Starting point is 00:09:11 why it's right no they've been I have a girl lady friend and she validated you now she's like dude you have medium great no we measured it and everything Dude, now we can hug. Now we can fucking hug. Dude, I'm medium dick dude. Medium dude. You upgraded dude. That's an upgrade. I'm tired of this shit dude. You are the one that perpetuated it. My feet are 9.

Starting point is 00:09:38 Why are you laughing dude? My feet are size 9, it's all connected. It's a good thing. Let's move on from it. I don't want to talk about my generals again. You brought it up. I know I write I'm just sorry I don't know he just what's the name of your cats you want to name your whiskey tickets and Navi whoa Tickets is mine. You want to know my yeah Ming Gunnar and Bojo One more time Ming yeah Gunnar Gunnar and Bojo and Bojo okay, so yeah, yeah, yeah Gunnar and Bojo and Bojo okay yeah yeah yeah Gunnar after Arsenal

Starting point is 00:10:06 the soccer team yeah yeah after his mom who passed away and and she came back to life as the cat we think no she's still alive she is yeah yeah and then we have Bojo which is Bobby jr. that's right we call him Bojo and he looks the most like him he's fat yeah yeah Well they have the same vibe. What do you mean? He doesn't do shit. That's right. Right. He's the sleepiest the laziest. Yeah, it's like, you know They think they're gonna stroke us away or something. I can't. They're ruining his entire house. Yeah, like on top of the fridge. I buy them beds But still they're just sleeping on top of the fridge like like half the body you're dangling. Do your cats do that?

Starting point is 00:10:44 They sleep wherever they want Yeah, there's eight million beds. They choose like cardboard boxes with towels and right. Yeah, I said you buy fancy or no What do you say? Wait, what stop stop stop you understood what I said Do you buy fancy? Yeah, like thank you the food No, he knows Absolutely, I'm yelling. Yeah, you know gas. Oh, yeah, but our gas. You're right. beds? Absolutely. Sorry, I'm yelling. He's our guest. Don't yell at our guest. You're right, you're right.

Starting point is 00:11:06 Sorry to save my friends. I buy ridiculous cat beds. They have palm trees, elevated. Right, I have those too. But I find that whenever I buy a fancy thing, they rather go the furnace or whatever. You know what I mean? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:11:20 You find that or no? Why? I do. Why do you think that? He built a cat sanctuary in his backyard. And they haven't been in there. How much was it? Tell them. How much was it? 10, 15,000. 10, 15 grand. Yeah, yeah find that or no why I do why do you think that he built a cat sanctuary in his backyard and they haven't been in There how much was it? Tell him how much? 10-15 grand yeah, and they don't ever go out there. Yeah, yeah, literally ever once I don't think I've seen a cat in your house outside of your house. Yeah, but I want to say this Colson from now on

Starting point is 00:11:38 Okay Can you understand me now? Yeah? I love this guy I've met ran into you a couple of times Yeah. Okay, I love it. I love this guy. I know. I've met, ran into you a couple of times now. Yeah. Where? Comedy store?

Starting point is 00:11:51 In the main room, backstage. Backstage, yeah. There's never a rapport between, because I think it's, I'm scared. Why is that? Because you're at Machine Gun Kelly, I'm like, oh my god. I think you're intimidated. You're intimidated a little bit, but now that we broke this barrier, now there's going to be, what's, you know, in front of everybody, what's up? You know what I mean you know in front of everybody what's up I can call you Colson he's working on his hip-hop presence he was yeah dog wassup is this working that might make me like

Starting point is 00:12:15 nah dog shit Colson player lace up dog lace up what do you think about what do you think about Bobby blacking out an arm? You've talked about this. Yeah? Yeah, yeah. Because you're going fearful. Yeah, yeah, I've left windows to the olds, but is this a joke?

Starting point is 00:12:35 No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. No, no, he's talked about blacking out an arm. Yeah, yeah. Just one. What do you think of me blacking out an arm? I mean. I think it would look rad. You do? Yeah, but what just one what do you think of me blacking out? and I mean I Think it would look right you do yeah for sure yeah Yeah, I will be upset if you do the go to sleep thing to get it. I think that's super long

Starting point is 00:12:54 Mmm, what do you mean people pass out when they do it no when people like get put under to get the tattoos Oh, that's the thing I don't know about that's that those four weaklings. I Just part of the culture is to earn it. You know so I earn my pain. Yeah, yeah, so I think it'd be sick What if I did the face would that be blackface? That would be a very bad bad decision I'll be well if you did it'd be breakfast it would be Face you know no breakfast buddy no way,. But I mean, would it be? Because if you can tattoo the whole arm, Why can't you do the whole face?

Starting point is 00:13:28 That's black arm. Yeah. I can't do black face. Brack. Yeah, I think it's just, this is, anything above that. What about half? Yeah, you'd be half Brack?

Starting point is 00:13:37 Yeah, half Brack-o-Bramma. Yeah, anyway. What are you doing, dude? He's rolling up some. I have really bad, like, anxiety. Oh, you do? Really bad. You are you doing dude? I have really bad like, uh, anxiety. Oh you do? You smoke weed? Public speaking anxiety so I just have to do something with my hands.

Starting point is 00:13:52 I'm just rolling a cigarette. Oh really? I like it. I mean I have pre-rolled. You don't like these? I like those. Yeah, yeah. Why does yours have trees and flowers on them? Because I special order them from America's Bird. I don't do standard. Cool. He's got to stand out. He likes the nicest version of the nicest thing. Right. He needs to have it. I need the nicest one. Have you ever thought, nothing

Starting point is 00:14:13 on the face though? You won't do it. You know, I don't think so. I have stuff on my head, you know like if you shave my head you'll see you'll uncover things like a hidden treasure but what is it sure sure like messages yeah I shaved my head to find all right but other messages yeah whoa you know what be dope a treasure map buried under your hair that'd be sick and then when you die like if you hid your money somewhere tattooed the map to your head right and then when you die then they can shave it and unearth this. Wow. That's actually sick.

Starting point is 00:14:47 Yeah, we should really do that. But would you have like, no, you know what I would do? No, fuck that shit, right? Because you're going to do- Wait, fuck my idea? You just said yes, it was great, then you shit on it? No, no, I'm going to make it better. Okay.

Starting point is 00:14:59 Can I make your idea better? Please. All right? You can't make it that easy. You can't go, Puri, Illinois, in a vault or whatever, right? No point, right? What you do, you do landmark make it that easy you can't go pure Illinois in a vault or whatever whatever right no point right? What you do you do landmarks? Oh, right, right? So you do is like you mean some like The st. Louis arch there it is That's exactly what I was doing the st. Louis arch it does look like right what's that one?

Starting point is 00:15:22 No, but imagine we flipped is a new symbol what is that what is this new symbol that's obviously Cairo Egypt stuff oh dude he's good dude my fucking symbols are working today dude give me one more given oh what's that one that's the leaning tower of peace that's right fuck you and I should go on a game show dude whatever that is like what is that

Starting point is 00:15:41 some game show that they have is there uh is there a give me one more what? That's That's my dad That's my dad now, but anyway um wow look give me a symbol. Let me see if I can do it. That's a Beirut No, that's the Parthenon. Bam. Oh, not Beirut?

Starting point is 00:16:07 No, it's Parthenon, dude. I don't know any, I think my problem is that. Do you know where the Parthenon is? I don't know. I don't think I know any, like, landmarks. But let me try another one. Let me try another one. Empire State's buildings.

Starting point is 00:16:18 Multiple? We got all three of them. Well, they took down two of them, didn't they? They did. Yeah, they did. Fuck. Let me put this back on. I know you're excited for him today. By the way, he's so excited to see you today.

Starting point is 00:16:29 Because he gets a little sweaty and jumpy when he gets excited for someone he likes. I get so excited about new people. I'm super nervous, so I hope that I don't. No. You shouldn't be. No, dude, you're killing it, and you're on the pocket, and no need to be. I'll show you who's exponentially more nervous than you could ever be okay, right Ryan come here for a second This is our intern intern Ryan little Ryan. Do you know who mgk is of course of course?

Starting point is 00:16:52 What what's one of your favorite songs by mgk? Oh my favorite would be invincible the one you sang at WrestleMania. Yeah Oh, man, I watched that as a kid. I was John Cena fan That was the first time I got booed by 80,000 people. You got booed? Because you have to play into the storyline of The Rock versus John Cena. I was bringing out John Cena and it was in Miami in The Rock's hometown. I thought it would be a really good idea to be like, fuck The Rock after I was gone. Why?

Starting point is 00:17:17 It's crazy. I just, you know. But they boo but they love you. No, it's love. It's the heel theory, right? It's like you you become the enemy so you're a hardcore John Cena fan I was growing up. Yeah, you're still growing up. What the fuck you talking about? Who else did you like growing up like wrestlers? No just in general I Always big in the movies. He's like John Wayne Gacy. I love yeah, I'm in a movie with John Cena about to come out

Starting point is 00:17:44 What is it? What's it called? It's called jackpot Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, we love her so cool. Did you work with her? I did you know I love Nora Yeah, she's the best wait. Oh, I saw a trailer for this. Yeah, I'm in it very shortly I don't want to you know pitch it as if I'm like, you know, yeah But you know who else is in this that's my cameo right there the top left top left click on oh Let me see that's my like MGK room. That's why it's pink wow and that's my signature guitar right there That's what is that your arm whose arm is that unfortunately? I'm not that buff Wait a minute is that your actual guitar in the show that's my actual guitar you brought

Starting point is 00:18:22 When you do when you do something like this right like if you do a shoot whether it's a film or a music video or anything like that do you always dress it with your shit? No I this the joke was the joke was that I was playing MGK in the movie. Ah. So I was myself which of course upset a lot of people and by a lot I mean like two bad comments but yeah. When you're on a movie set, and when you're acting, do you get nervous or you're good? I get more nervous for stuff like this, like quick cameos, cause you only have like, you know, what, two minutes to like make an impression

Starting point is 00:18:55 on an hour long movie. So yeah. Yeah. I was on a show called Sean Saves the World. Yeah. It was a sitcom. Yeah. And I had, so there was a, he opens the door. I have to say a line quickly. What's the line? I forgot yeah, like probably something. Hi, how are you?

Starting point is 00:19:13 Yeah, right, but I kept repeating the line in my mind and you know It's a front of a live audience and as soon as the door yeah that I was on that as soon as the door open I go, how are we? Because I thought about it I get some audiences probably understood it I know they did they redid it right, but I got Well as a director would you have me do it over again I had a fired you on the spot you would have fired was this a multicam Yeah fired look at me look at me did handsome because you got to be so on point for multicam You got to be it's do for multicam you got to be

Starting point is 00:19:46 Do I look nervous there a hundred percent I do I know I'm petrified. Yeah, you're staring right. I have a question Yeah, go ahead so on Like Fresh Prince of Bel Air and sitcoms like when the audience is laughing There's an actual audience there there is and then they what they what they call sweeten it so they they sweeten it They sweeten it they put more laughs on top of the laughs But so what if you have to do it takes six times it has to be funny six times No, they do do it takes six times then sometimes they just interject more laughs into where the audience gets it

Starting point is 00:20:13 Uh-huh right so they kind of pretend they get they play along almost like that's oh yeah It's like this show positive what it's like this show. We laugh all the time. We're gonna turn off your mic any second Keep that bullshit. Yeah, it dude. Keep that bullshit up. Yeah, it's bullshit then, what you're doing. No, but this is, what's interesting about that world that you're asking is like, people go to a taping expecting one thing. They're like, we're gonna be there for the recording

Starting point is 00:20:35 of the show, like as if it would be a 30 minute taping. No, they're there for hours and hours and hours. It's like a 10 hour event. It's a long, long day. It sucks. Because they're changing, and then when they change scenes and rooms, it's different stages

Starting point is 00:20:45 So the audience is sometimes have to move and it's it's way bigger than people think and I think when people go once That might be the last time they go. They're like it was cool. We saw it, but it's a it's like a workday Yeah, you're watching people or sometimes that are paid to be there a lot of times. They pay yeah Yeah, they paper the room so they're gonna What if it's a big show if it's what a big show like what give me a show well like boy meets world yeah I've never even heard of that who's that boy meets world meets world yeah I don't know boy meets world is it a white show what the fuck it's definitely it's a white show for sure yeah boy meets world yeah I've heard of Seinfeld on. Just come on on me. Yeah, come on. It's a good show. Pop out

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Starting point is 00:25:24 What? I was watching Curb Your Enthusiasm last night. You're in it. I popped up in that yeah. He's in it too. You're in it. It's okay he needs the attention. You have to tell him. But did I get to that episode yet? I haven't seen you Bobby. Well what season did you do? I just saw him yesterday. If I wouldn't have put it on yesterday I wouldn't have seen him in it. I'm so sorry Bobby. I'm about to see yours tonight I'm sure. I'm sure it's great and it's probably better than Andrew's. So that's all. What season is it yours? This is like nine. Yeah, you don't start with number one I'm in season five. You're in season five. Yeah. Yeah, you don't start you wait wait, dude

Starting point is 00:25:55 Fuck you Colson. Don't look away from me. I'm afraid. Wait, what happened? No, I'm gonna tell you right now You're pissing me off right now. No, yeah But away I hope he gets up and beats the fucking Just tell me season 5 look at how young I was That was you yeah, yeah back then he was Chinese. Yeah, it's Chinese Before he switched dude. I totally see I do it. That's a hard. What do you mean? Did you see this episode? Yes, I saw that episode yeah, and you don't think that was me? That's either you or Joe Coy. Is that you, Coy, you cheeky? What do you mean?

Starting point is 00:26:28 Well, that doesn't look like you, Bob. That doesn't look like me, dude? That looks nothing like you. No, it doesn't. Because no mustache, put a mustache on that fucker. Do your face, do that face. No, you look different. No!

Starting point is 00:26:38 Yeah. Different guy. Yeah, that's me, dude. That, with the, I'm putting a mustache on him. So did you see that episode? I did see that episode. Okay, so now can you give me my props or no? Dude, 100's me dude. That, with the, I'm putting a mustache on. So did you see that episode? I did see that episode. Okay, so now can you give me my props for now? Dude, 100% great job.

Starting point is 00:26:48 Thank you, thank you. You were so brilliant. That's all I want. Go to the first picture. Okay, and go to the fourth picture. And I gotta ask you. Oh my God. Are you doing an eye thing on purpose on this thing?

Starting point is 00:27:02 Is this like a thing you were doing the whole time? You're doing wide eye on this. This is round eye shit. What is the first one? That's round eye shit the whole time. But why does the left eye go in the opposite direction? Go to the fourth one? You see what I'm talking about?

Starting point is 00:27:18 I see what you guys are doing. You're saying that Asians are cross-eyed. No. No. Yeah, clip that, dude. Asians are cross-eyed or what? Well, you might be. Yeah, yeah. Go big, go across. I don't want well you're you might be yeah. Yeah Oh, no big no big all right. All right. Let me see your eyes up. Let me see your eyes Bob open them up But yeah, they kind of go cross. I wouldn't do that

Starting point is 00:27:33 Look at yeah, you're left one left that your left one leans in yeah I think what you're seeing both of you Also knew this is gonna happen. I knew this was gonna team up. I love no no no no Steven you and some of my guys Alright, you want me to get bring my boys in I'll put my boys in right yeah, yeah, yeah, Benedict Wong I'll bring him on he would never come on the show. I think you would to be fair I have a big ass left ear so like if we're talking Dumbo half 100 percent So like if we're talking Alright, yeah, let's talk about you. You know my point is is this also this is I'm scared

Starting point is 00:28:18 Hmm yeah, I'm young. I'm so young right I did the when it you know when curbs first started. Yeah Yeah, yeah, so it's like Maybe that's what you're reading, but anyway let's move on from it. I was just kidding. I was fine I want you to get your props. You're more talented and more Hollywood. Oh no come on You're my guy, I'm certainly not more Hollywood. You might be the most Hollywood guy You know sorts of work now, dude. Yeah, you did anyway. Let's just talk about something else man What the fuck man? Okay nervous? Yeah Do you like jelly jelly? What's it like this no jelly? What jelly roll jelly roll? Oh?

Starting point is 00:28:54 This is peanut butter and jelly. What is that Trader Joe's snacks peanut butter jelly really? Yeah, you already ate it No, do you that's really that's probably the best I brought this just in case I got too nervous Yeah, those are good. I have one I in case I got too nervous when I needed something. Those are... Could I have one? I want to try one. Have you never had one of those? No, I want one of those so bad. They're phenomenal.

Starting point is 00:29:09 You know this? Oh my god, yeah. It's the best thing I've ever had in my life. Trader Joe's, baby. Okay, so here. They're undefeated. Dip in, dude. You don't want more jelly?

Starting point is 00:29:17 Okay. Yeah. Oh my god! Isn't that insane? God, those are good. It's so good. TJ's has by far the best snacks on planet Earth. My daughter got...

Starting point is 00:29:27 Well, my friend Ray got me hip to these, but my daughter is like a huge TJ snack person. So they have the best snacks? I actually don't buy meals there as much as I buy bullshit. I buy snacks. If your daughter goes, Daddy? My daughter has grown. She's 14.

Starting point is 00:29:42 Yeah, but let's just suppose she's like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right? Daddy. Good morning, daddy. Now she's Asian. Yeah. All right, let me white it up.

Starting point is 00:29:56 No, no, no. I'm a god, daddy. My daughter's black, but- Oh, do you really? Yeah. All right. Oh yeah, do that one, Bob. No, no, no, no.

Starting point is 00:30:04 I'm gonna go with my original, right? Okay, go back really? Yeah. Oh yeah, do that one, Bob. No, no, no, no, no. I'm gonna go with my original, right? Yeah. Okay, go back to the original. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Daddy, how are you today? How are you today? How you feeling today, daddy? Good?

Starting point is 00:30:19 And then what's the question? Oh no, I'm gonna, daddy, is it okay that I smoke weed in the house? What'd you say? You're an infant and you shouldn't be smoking weed. What? Yeah, good, good. I don't know. I think I would be the guy, like, you know, just do it in the house.

Starting point is 00:30:34 Right? I'm one of those guys. You're saying if your daughter was 14, if your kid was 14. If my kid was 14, I'd be like, yeah, just don't do it outside. I'll get you the stuff. Do it in a controlled environment. When does that talk happen? Yeah, that happened. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, so daddy. Can I get tattoos like you? Oh, yeah What's a tattoo? What's that? What's that? What's that? Good talk. You say what happened when she was really young? Oh, I wanted to get tattoos and you said what? When you're older, but I also I just don't want to limit her, you know, creativity in any way, so.

Starting point is 00:31:08 I don't, if, yeah, as far as weed goes, I mean, a lot of this stuff she grew up just seeing, I didn't really hide who I was to her, and I also never really wanted to, because I didn't want that, I didn't want that from another person to lure her, the person of being the perception of, oh I want what I'm not supposed to have. It's almost like very just, she could never be impressed by someone being like, I got

Starting point is 00:31:41 cars and weed and... Right. You know, she's very comfortable in her own skin and a very strong independent woman who is like, you know, I come from a father who gives me flowers and tells me how beautiful I am and, you know, is very open about, you know, his lifestyle to where that doesn't impress me. Like, I need someone who's going to, you know, court lifestyle to where that doesn't impress me, like I need someone who's gonna court me and all that. She needs genuine, none of the bullshit can impress her because you've not tried to pretend like that's not a reality.

Starting point is 00:32:14 For sure. Yeah. But if, you know, I would assume she's gonna wanna smoke weed at some point, you know, like I'd rather like, I'd rather get her the weed and it be like not laced and shitty from some sketchy person The other side of it is right like otherwise you're so restrictive and like Bobby was An addict when he was like 12 was smoking meth at 14 15 No, that's a real story. I mean, you were smoking meth at 15 years old.

Starting point is 00:32:45 Yeah. And it's because you had a crazy upbringing. Well, I just didn't know how to feel good. Right. Right? And that was the only way I could feel good and soothe. You escaped by using drugs. But that's not the situation that he's got around.

Starting point is 00:33:01 This is what he's avoiding. Yeah, but he already did it. You can already tell. You know what I mean? She's mindful and healthy. I'm saying that this is what he's avoiding. Yeah, but he already did it. You can already tell. She's mindful and healthy. I think the phrase that you said that's powerful is I didn't hide who I was to her, hide my lifestyle. I think you kind of have to be transparent as a parent.

Starting point is 00:33:17 I think so. Because otherwise, they're going to find out. Yeah. And also, it hit me at a certain age, when I really needed to mature as an individual, when she was like, when she started seeing, when she has the internet too, and so she started seeing, you know,

Starting point is 00:33:34 me in ways that I'm like, ooh, I'm not proud of that as a father, you know, like that. It's different when they're little. You know, I had a baby when I was 18 or 19, and that was before I was ever famous. I was working job. You know, she had a baby when I was 18 or 19. And that was before I was ever famous. I was working job. You know, she was very young.

Starting point is 00:33:47 Like it was, it didn't hit until she was, you know, able to kind of emit that she was disappointed in me. And I was, you know, as a father who views her as, you know, like my father who views her as, you know, like my best friend and someone who, probably the only person I really cared to impress, you know, I didn't, I wasn't proud of a lot of the things, the ways I was representing myself.

Starting point is 00:34:18 So, you know, I'd say probably when I was 30 is when I really got my, and that's also your Saturn return, just as far as astrological things go, that's a very powerful year. Like your Saturn return is when you're 30, and that's a very powerful year for everybody. It's a karmic.

Starting point is 00:34:39 Even for me? For sure. For you it's 60. Like 30 is a very powerful. It's a nut. It's a powerful number Yeah, and that year is your side as everyone's side in return. You know so that's your car. No that when I was 30 though Yeah, but that's fine, but you're good regardless your karmic purpose started setting in and you can either choose to Take advantage or I'm sure you did you see you seem great? Yeah?

Starting point is 00:35:04 You're not on meth well. You seem great. Yeah, yeah. It was fine. I will say. You're not on meth. Well, that's true. Yeah, not anymore. Not anymore. Not anymore. That is true. Yeah, I'm not anymore.

Starting point is 00:35:10 Yeah, you're right. I will say. I mean, can I? Yeah, go ahead. But I think that's one of the reasons why I haven't had a kid, because of the shit that I've done. Oh my god. I would have to go no internet until you're 18.

Starting point is 00:35:23 It's hard, man. But it's hard. Yeah, I Accept it and I also You know, I'm weighed down by it a lot and I then plenty of people on the internet choose to remind me all the time but it's it's also my job as a Leader of or one of the leading voices of a generation to who also can relate to being Misjudged by things that do when they were younger or you know

Starting point is 00:35:52 Maybe needing someone to show them how to mature and you know, like we all I at least like I looked at the people on TV or in music as My parents, you know that was kind of like those were the people on TV or in music as my parents, you know, that was kind of like, those were the people. It's like when Jordan took the Nike and was like, this shoe is cool. People are like, yeah. We are what we embed ourselves in.

Starting point is 00:36:15 And to me, frequency, like music was always in here. So I was, you know, trusting these people as my leaders. Like, okay. And I don't do a great job with that all the time with my lyrics, but you know, as I grow out, I'll continue to do so. I continue to, you know, try and take my job as a. Fuck up who is no longer that. But people know there's there.

Starting point is 00:36:37 I think more than ever. There is always a separation between the art and the artist. I think people are more cognizant of that in this day and age than we've ever been. I think because- We should be, you and I, we're not doing any of that. No, dude, you're no, no, no. I'll tell you what, we have to change our thing, dude. No, comedy is so important.

Starting point is 00:36:54 We're feeding garbage to the people. We have no message. I'm telling you, the rawness of what you guys do, I was telling him this on the plane when he was completely incoherent about the puke on my face. I will- Yeah, yeah. It's so important what you guys do. I was telling him this on the plane when he was completely incoherent about the puke on my face. It's so important what you guys do the on the unfiltered

Starting point is 00:37:15 You know the just taking the pendulum and swinging it the complete opposite way of what it just was the past five years of just like where everyone's so scared to be funny or say anything at the you know fear of people being like I'm gonna I'm gonna come for your platform and take it away. We keep doing it, we keep doing it, then. I think we have to, because for us, it was the thing that made us laugh the most, and I think with audiences, going back to what I just said, people know what we're saying when we're fucking around. Clearly it's coming from a place of like love and heart.

Starting point is 00:37:48 We shit on each other. It's all for the art of the fun of the thing. I also don't know how else to do it. Yeah, we don't. Yeah, I mean, you could say, you know, that's why I don't do like certain shows, even if they ask, I go, that's not. That's not for me.

Starting point is 00:38:02 When I did Chelsea lately, I struggled every show. I mean, I don't care. I mean, I mean people even said why you struggled You know me because it's not my thing, right? It was never my thing, but I tried to fit into that format and it came out weird. It didn't work It didn't work. This is my format right? Yeah, I mean, this is why it works Yeah, it's important. What you guys do is important like laughing saves our lives This is a never think it's a grim world and so to make us laugh is very important And I'm very appreciative of what you guys. Oh my god. I should have a you take me back by the way Take me back to your 18 or 19 and you have a kid. Uh-huh. Are you feeling like?

Starting point is 00:38:38 You're you're fucked did it feel like that or was it? Oh, yeah. Yeah, it was scared. Yeah, I mean my friend slim We were sharing in a single bedroom apartment We were in Cleveland. I was working at Chipotle. I gave up my job Because I went to chase My dreams at this new music seminar that was coming into town I spent my rent money to get a VIP pass to get a meeting with the ANR when they that they do at the seminar Where you get like an individual meeting with an ANR? But I had it was on the day I was working and

Starting point is 00:39:13 I don't remember if this was the day I traded two days in like one day I traded my off day to a manager. I gave her jay-z tickets so I could have an off day to go do something to go to go to the Apollo and tickets so I could have an off day to go do something to go to the Apollo and I got the off day ban but this this one I couldn't get off but it was more important than my job so I went there didn't get a record deal did get fired did meet my manager who was behind the scenes over there somewhere and yeah and and she's been racking with me since that day but uh she was how did you meet I love her yeah yeah yeah How'd you meet her?

Starting point is 00:39:45 She was there, I thought she worked with a record label because I saw a white girl with a clipboard and I was like, oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. For sure, she works with a record label. She'll trick you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When you see a white woman with a clipboard,

Starting point is 00:39:56 you do the thing, this is corporate. Yeah, yeah. I met her and she was really like, she was like, yo, everyone's talking about, you know, oh, cause there was a, they did an open mic the at the seminar but they gave it to some like uh you know a kid from Atlanta who danced and after he was done performing I stood up and I was like guys like you're in Cleveland let someone from Cleveland perform and they were like well who and I was like me dude dude I love this I got up there Len S ironically, who works over at Rock Nation and had become my neighbor

Starting point is 00:40:26 years later, he was there. So it's always great seeing you. That's how I get invited to the Rock Nation brunch was Lenny S. Shout out Lenny S. Lenny S. But he was there. And so afterwards, yeah, they were talking and I met her and then she came over to my house after a day later with my friend Slim and we were all there and I was like, dude, I met this record label person like we're on bro and she came over and

Starting point is 00:40:48 she was like yeah like I'm I was interning there helping out like check it checking the names for everyone who's coming in and yeah I go to college I'm about to graduate and I just got fired from Chipotle and anyway she was like I'll leave everything like I believe in this so she dropped out of college and she got me a job working on a Red Bull as a Penske truck driver to go drop off like pallets of Red Bulls and stuff. I had a buddy of mine do that when we moved to LA. Yeah so I was doing that and you know she had a car so she was letting me you know put all my clothes in her car

Starting point is 00:41:22 and crashed there because we ended up getting evicted from that apartment and Yeah, man, like and you're you're loyal Because I'm pretty sure since then you've had every manager go come to you and go same with us. You won't leave her You won't leave you won't leave her. That's for life. That's for like do I'm the same way do Wow and also can I say this? May I say something to you? Is there was that moment where you said, I'm gonna go up and do it. Without that, you would have never probably met her, right?

Starting point is 00:41:51 Never. Right. Never. And that's the thing that everyone needs to make it, I think, in any kind of art form. It's that, you know, you see the window of opportunity. Like when my friend Randy signed me up at the open mic, I didn't know I was supposed to perform. And then when they said my name,

Starting point is 00:42:06 I coulda gone, I'm not going up. Yeah. You know what I mean? But I went, you know what? I'm gonna do it. You're just like an instinctual thing of like, I have to do it. You know what I mean?

Starting point is 00:42:14 You risk it all. You risk it all and I just go up there and it didn't go well, but it's that instinct to do it, you know what I mean, is I think you need. You do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you had to have the balls to do it.

Starting point is 00:42:24 But that's also what kickstarts that sickness that we have where you're like, I mean, is I think you need. You do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you had to have the balls to do it. But that's also what kickstarts that sickness that we have where we're like, I need to, I have to, I don't have a choice. I must fucking do this. I'm not going back to Chipotle. The one memory I'll take from Chipotle, besides it was great, I met a lot of great friends and just the extreme hate that boiled in my chest

Starting point is 00:42:45 from seeing people that boiled in my chest from seeing people that went to my school come back from college on winter break to see me working at Chipotle and being like, ah, you were supposed to be a rapper, what happened? Like that probably fueled a lot. But I would be in the back washing the sour cream out of those tin things. And the hot steam from the sour cream

Starting point is 00:43:04 would always come off my face and Mrs. Officer by Lil Wayne was always playing so every time I hear we I always just re-smell hot. Wow. Steaming sour cream. Wow. Because it was like the hottest song on the radio at that time. Right. Yeah. Yeah. So you don't like that when that song comes on. I love Wayne. Or do you like sour cream? I love Wayne. I don't know if it's I think my beef is more with the sour cream. Yeah, yeah, hot sour cream. Because I haven't used sour cream in many years.

Starting point is 00:43:28 There's a smell, I used to wash dishes. I was a busboy and I did dishes for Outback Steakhouse. And there's a smell for everything like that, exactly what you're talking about, when steak and mashed potatoes is sitting on a plate for a while and then hot water hits it. Holy shit It's the fucking worst like burnt oranges that are rotting or something. It just smells like it smells like it smells like old Old feet it smells like old wet feet. Yes, sir. I got a smell. Yeah, you know in Korea. You know how they all right here

Starting point is 00:44:00 We go Take us back to the motherland Well, do you remember I told you that like at my grandparents' house they had a bathroom and it was just a hole in the ground. And it was like generations and generations of poo. It was like literally 2,000 years of poo. They never emptied it? They never emptied it.

Starting point is 00:44:16 No, it's like a hole in the ground. So it's a hole in the ground, right? And you look down. So my great-grandparents' poo was way down there, right? My great-great-great-great-grandparents. Kind of beautiful. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. But that great great great grandparents. Kind of beautiful. But that smell I can't get rid of either.

Starting point is 00:44:28 And it smells like shit. And those holes in the ground, those old bathrooms. If you dig all the way down, you can dig all the way to China. If you can go all the way through to China. Isn't that where that comes from? No, it's not. Wouldn't they do that? In the backyard they go, we're going to dig all the way to China. I tried that when I was a kid. Yeah?

Starting point is 00:44:45 Did you really? Yeah. How far did you get? I also tried, I got about six feet. I, but I maybe about four feet. I got the Bakerfield. But I dig, you know what I mean, this way. I also, I also, uh.

Starting point is 00:44:56 You guys do everything sideways. Yeah, I dig north. Yeah, I dig north. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, wait, I have one, can I I can I insert one activity really quick, please? I love activities remember what I text you yesterday Yeah, I don't remember the exact text but I think it What about it? I was like, can I come later for the podcast cuz I have to fight a samurai. Yeah

Starting point is 00:45:17 Yeah, I wanted you to talk about it. Did you fight a samurai? I did today. Yeah. Yeah, I feel actually I don't know if I look dehydrated But I feel like a piece of beef jerky like I'm so Just like dried to meet my whole I feel so dehydrated. I was in the Sun fighting a samurai all day It was for a music video, but I was thinking because there's this part in the video where the song It goes really fast And I kind of did that's for a five-year anniversary of a album that came out in 2019 But my fans as I owe to them that they love when I rap fast so I kind of did a

Starting point is 00:45:48 part in there where I was rapping fast and Could I just please get oh my you off to attempt to do the part Talking about here, this is amazing. Yeah, Bob has to do it This is amazing. Should I just start with the beat? Yeah, Bob has to do it first. Lay it down, homie. What's up, dawg? Okay, I'm gonna play you how it's supposed to sound.

Starting point is 00:46:06 No, no, no, I can just do it, you know? Bobby can do it without direction. I can just do it a cappella. Never been typically invisible. I was always a two-second cynical like condition. Catecholical, had a friend who was fictional. No one knows what's coming to me. Listen to girl, doble, criminal.

Starting point is 00:46:18 Holy shit, Bobby. Wow. Okay, that's up, dude. You do it now. How come you can't do the ad reads? Holy shit. That's so impressive. Let me see.

Starting point is 00:46:32 You do it dude, do it faster than me, I don't think so. Okay. Do you wanna do it with the track or you talk about it? No, let me hear the track, let me try. Okay. What's up dude? Never been a typical individual, individual I was a little cynical my condition with clinical had a friend that was fictional knew I was Infable can yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you know what guys you're dealing with you're dealing with pros over here professionals

Starting point is 00:46:57 Yeah, yeah, by the way that sounds amazing that sounds really I want to hear the whole thing I will wait. I mean sing daddy why you die you probably couldn't do that. Yes, he could Yeah, we could. Tell me about the samurai fight, though. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, so there was a kid I saw online. His name is Shaquan. And he does these really maybe type like Shaquan,

Starting point is 00:47:19 like Instagram, martial arts. Yeah. We got a crack team over there. Shaquan Parson, is that his name? Yup. Oh look at this guy. Look at the fucking size of this guy. Oh dude is this the guy that does the crazy flips? Dude this guy's unreal.

Starting point is 00:47:36 It doesn't really impress me. Bobby, this guy can walk backwards when he flips. Let's try this one on the right. Watch this shit. Oh shit. Yes I, watch this shit. Oh shit Yes, I've seen this cat Un-fucking- fuck no way turn on the volume. I'm gonna hear him scream look at that. Whoa dude that's fucking crazy Wait wait wait for it. He's about to go back. You know I'm not done What wow fuck

Starting point is 00:48:02 Whoa Now is that cultural appropriation? Yes? Yeah, that goes the other way that goes the other way Wow, and they do it so much, but like everything they do it better There isn't one Asian guy that can do it that good on earth This guy you brought him 2,000 years in old Japan and bring that guy in there He'd be all right. We give up. Where's he from? Where's this guy? Atlanta, Atlanta. Uh-huh. And so he came over to the house and Yeah, we just kind of we both like love Dragon Ball Z and Naruto. And so we kind of um

Starting point is 00:48:37 You bonded over that? Yeah, Loki and then we try to kind of just pay a Little homage to that in the videos for that song I was playing. Yeah. Can I talk about your childhood? So your parents were religious, no? Oh, my father was very religious, yeah. Have you ever seen American Psycho?

Starting point is 00:48:53 Yeah. Oh, yeah. He kind of experienced such bad things that he overcompensated by becoming OCD like how yeah, so everything like Was either black or white there was no gray area with him so even religion. I'll never forget first time I got arrested he like his solution was sitting me down like besides like Whooping me like his his solution was like reading the Bible to me Wow take to like cure you yeah Yeah, the evil thing you're doing so did it work It did the opposite do you shut the fuck did the opposite it work look at them dude it fucking worked

Starting point is 00:49:36 I kind of I am at it. I hid from God my whole 20s You know I kind of and found him later. Where are you now? Completely with God. Yeah, yeah, I'm with God too. And ultimately I've just you know tapped so much more into the Norse magic that was you know given to me in my blood that that that that also plays like a... You probably love the movie the Northmen huh I thought it was all right I wish I wish that they I mean it was great it did show it did show a lot of the magic that is on our culture and our ancestors and so I appreciated that you know yeah but I wish they wouldn't have focused on one guy on a farm I wish they would have just shown like war that's my

Starting point is 00:50:21 only critique for that but I did love like you know the magic was great and that's such an important part of our that. But I did love like, you know, the magic was great. And that's such an important part of our culture. So and I think that like, you know, we've, I watched the internet view that stuff as like, Illuminati or things like that so much. But really, you know, magic, Jesus did magic, you know, like that was magic was such a huge part of our culture. It's just like been stripped because if we all tapped into our own magic, we, you know, government would be fucked everyone would be fucked Hmm. It's if you're you know, like with with Norse people you you know runes are There's secret

Starting point is 00:50:55 words, you know that the legend is that Odin hung upside down from the tree of life for nine days and nine nights and That sacrifice unlocked the secret of what the runes were which runes are like things like what's on my hands right so was he on a tree or something yeah the tree of life okay like backwards from a branch you had the legs on a branch it was backwards I'm sure it was I'm sure I want to know just visually what I wasn't there when Odin did that but yeah but he was backwards how that's the tree but he was upside down I said yeah how was he upside down was he dangling backwards are you so fucking aggressive? I'm not being aggressive. I just want a fucking answer from yeah, but you're yelling

Starting point is 00:51:29 I'm so sorry god damn it close. I'm sorry trying to see it. Let me see the image Yeah, egg that I saw yeah egg that I said Whoa, I've seen this tattoo. Yeah, many many times. Yes, the Norse people have that that's a big thing in our culture And that's what's on your hands right there the words the runes. Yeah. Yeah, what's going on? Just look at what a lighter? I got a lighter dog Thank you, but wait toss it make it fun. Yeah toss it. Thank you boom. I like playing catch You're not a lighter collector What of all people that started smoking again, you don't collect letters letters you don't care about him do you care about lighters no also the

Starting point is 00:52:07 most stolen object in human history lighter yeah absolutely not money I come second to writers yeah TSA so many lighters they owe me hold on baby catch that good job good job that hit my finger 100% I knew how that was that was gonna go. If this was a sports betting place somewhere I would have bet all my back counts. But there was three or four years when like no lidars so it's like they have thousands of my lidars to TSA. Well they throw them away for sure. Yeah they do yeah yeah yeah but you know but then they got rid of that rule now you can do it. Yeah. Why do they make you take your laptop out? That's a real question. I have so many questions. Why do they make you take your fucking laptop? No, why do they make you put your tray table up when we're going 700 miles an hour and we're gonna die anyway

Starting point is 00:52:51 Yeah, you're gonna die. Why do they make me move my seat up six inches if we're already and because a one shoe bomb guy Now we have to take your shoes off. I mean no you don't you have TSA. I don't you don't oh you don't have pre-check I don't have so funny to me. I go through I don't have it either fuck. Yeah, you want to say with three cats and now we got this So you take your fucking shoes off and you go through now you have a private I got caught with cocaine at lax You got caught with coke at LA how long ago? Six seven years ago wow not on purpose obviously oh shit. Yeah, you put it in a place for God I'm sober now, so all of this is behind me, but the Wow. Not on purpose, obviously. Oh, shit. Yeah. You put it in a place for God. I'm sober now.

Starting point is 00:53:26 So all of this is behind me. But the yeah, he would. And, you know, it was funny. I had a championship ring, the Cavs championship ring in my backpack when he was searching it. I come back from New Zealand and he was like, oh, my God, this is my daughter's favorite team. Like, can I take a picture of it with I was like, absolutely, man, no problem.

Starting point is 00:53:44 Took the picture. And then he found this, you know, this is my daughter's favorite team. Like, can I take a picture of it with her? I was like, absolutely, man, no problem. Took the picture, and then he found this bottle. He was like, oh, what's this? And I was like, I don't know. You know how sometimes when pills expire, like it just turns to dust or whatever? So I was assuming, because no way I would be that stupid. But was definitely that stupid based off the test.

Starting point is 00:54:00 And he was just looking at me, and he was giving me the kind of vibe like he was gonna be cool Oh Come on that later again wasn't cool. Yeah was not cool Yeah, it is funny though. He takes a picture finds cocaine and then you when he's like, I got a bus here Like I got to delete that picture Like this this exchange is not you watch it watch him throw it this is gonna be this one

Starting point is 00:54:23 Can you get it right this time because I don't keep doing this 100% Why don't you just let him keep the fuck? Well, I won't light it again. This will be my last light Let's just see let's just let's just see you know you can see my last light already. Yep He's going over him. Okay, dude. Look at that. Yeah athleticism. We'll throw it back. I'll catch it. I was making a joke earlier Dude focused so fucking hard Dude I know I learned from Bush. Remember the shoe? He dodged them. Yeah, yeah, no, but I know. I know that look.

Starting point is 00:54:52 I know how to do it. Yeah, he dodged. Did you see how good that was? Dude, I was able to rap, that fast rap. I did. I'm winning today. That was really good. Dude, I'm winning all the time right now, dude. Yeah, you are. You're winning harder than I think you are. That, that, catch this, right? Him and I have that. You know what I mean? We time right now, dude. Yeah, you are. You're winning harder than I think you are. That, catch this, right? Him and I have that.

Starting point is 00:55:06 You know what I mean? We're doing good, dude. What are you going to do? Do you have any mortal enemies? Mortal enemies. Bobby has mortal enemies. And we've talked about it on the show. We don't need to mention the names.

Starting point is 00:55:17 But Bobby has mortal. I don't have a mortal enemy. What the fuck are you talking about, dude? Really? I have love. I love everybody. Really? Yeah, they're just fun little wars I like to start with people they're not enemies I love them if they died I

Starting point is 00:55:29 would fucking weep like a little baby not all of them I'll tell you why though okay here's the thing we do have mortal enemies I'll tell you why though machine gun can make call you machine gun I like I like machine machine machine check it out so um if somebody physically touches me in a very violent way, that's when I go, okay, that's the boundary that I- Sure. Right, so like if anyone assaulted you, would you fucking have, you'd be like?

Starting point is 00:55:53 Unless you were my friend. Yeah, but somebody that was like, hey, fuck you bitch and pushed you onto the ground. Yeah, no, it depends on, if we were close and then we made up somehow, yes. But otherwise, no. I've never physically assaulted you, right? I don't think it's assault if you're less than Do you know what I mean there's a better way to say it I don't think you could hurt me

Starting point is 00:56:19 Dumb dumb dumb no dumb dumb dumb to you machine. Okay? I'll tell you this I'll tell you this machine dumb dumb dumb to you Is is that I could physically hurt both of you right now, and I choose not to. Do it. No, I don't want to. No, get up and do it. No, because I'll tell you why. Get up and do it right now.

Starting point is 00:56:31 I'm not a violent man. I'm not a violent man, I'm not gonna stay for life. Then don't talk violent shit. But what I'm saying is that in a situation, dude, in the right moment, I will fucking go monkey style on you. What, when I'm asleep? Yeah, if I'm passed out, you got me. I'll call a spider monkey onto your head

Starting point is 00:56:45 and I'll do damage to your fucking head. Top, tippy top. Dum dum dum. Dum dum dum, you okay with me? All right? You guys are mocking me, dude, but it's like, you don't wanna race me out! You're the one that started it.

Starting point is 00:56:58 Why? Because you're talking like you could physically assault us. It's crazy. It's an insane thing to think. No, I'm just saying that I just, dum dum dum, okay, us. It's crazy. It's an insane thing to think no. I'm just saying that I just Don't don't don't don't Comedy isn't you do really you do that well, but what I'm saying is you know you would never put a hand on me That would be crazy. I know But you put our hands on me

Starting point is 00:57:19 Yeah, yeah, and I don't think that's right, and I'm gonna draw the line now. Don't do it again I'll do it whenever I want. I know you will. And I'm fine with it. I'm fine with it. Because it's out of love. Do you have any mortal enemies? I'd say I had an ego death. And so that kind of dissipated with that. Oh, beautiful.

Starting point is 00:57:36 When did the ego death come? Twenty twenty two. Why? Realizing. Public perception will always change if you just continue running the marathon. And I think also realizing I have no control of outward opinions and that what is important is how I feel about myself and that's what

Starting point is 00:58:07 radiates. So it's also not my job to be liked by everybody because art is what I do and art is always supposed to be conversational and if the conversation is just one way, then it's boring. So as long as I do my job and create conversation, bad or good, I am an artist. And by the way, bad and good is an interesting, because I agree with everything you're saying, there's no such thing as like a bad version of the conversation about you, because it's all,

Starting point is 00:58:46 it's all surrounding what you're making. Ag people like it or not is doesn't yeah doesn't really matter that like you and the people that hate you it's all the same thing sometimes people that hate you like you more yeah it's like it's all money in your pocket well I'll tell you why well it's not just the money you know just let me I don't know why you laughed at that You meet my Spanish friend. Okay. I'm gonna say this okay. Let me get my points out if I may please I'm 50% of the show 40 I'm 70 do 75 yeah, yeah, yeah, so when I went what I meant, but say not money in your pocket But what I meant to say is is that

Starting point is 00:59:23 You're a crack. It's the conversation, right? It's just like if I wasn't causing conversations out there, I wouldn't be successful. True. Especially as a comic, right? I think the reason why we do well, maybe, is because we do cause, you know what I mean? There are people that don't like us.

Starting point is 00:59:40 Sure, of course. And our style of comedy or whatever. And I just think that, and you're right machine, right? There's nothing we can do no there. The one thing you can do is finish the book They're gonna read the beginning They're gonna read the beginning and they'll make their assumptions and as long as you finish them as long as you get them through the entire book they might find out that the you finish them as long as you get them through the entire book they might find out that the you know perceived antagonist was really the protagonist and

Starting point is 01:00:08 there's a nice spin at the end so fucking great yeah but it's also so true it's the amount of people that even like as a kid us someone that was famous or a celebrity of some kind that I had a perception about and then I got older and then you saw their life change or saw their saw some kind that I had a perception about. And then I got older. And then you saw their life change or saw their saw them develop. And I changed my opinion of them. It's there's tons of them. There's so many people like that. Give me one example. Well, I would say not my first thought thought was the way people always perceived Rodman when I was a kid, because Dennis Rodman was such a polarizing

Starting point is 01:00:44 figure. And then the more people that learned about him, about who he was, versus who they perceived him to be, it was kind of a beautiful flip or a change. Tyson had the same thing. People didn't understand Mike Tyson. I feel like now they're getting to see who Mike Tyson really is.

Starting point is 01:01:01 But as a kid, it was always like celebrities and certain athletes or certain famous people that I was like, I don't even know if I like that guy or they bothered me Then you see them grow in their whole you're reading more of their book and you're like, oh I do I guess I didn't know that person. Yeah, I was was scared of Mike Tyson for some reason and then one day I was pretty fucking scary Yeah, but I was at the Comedy Star. Hey man. I'm Mike Tyson. Yeah, I'm the queen of work. Right? And I go, oh shit. We took a photo. I remember showing my dad the photo. My dad cried. He goes, Michael Tyson. I can't believe it. He called him Michael Tyson. Michael Tyson. He literally weep because my dad's a big boxing fan. Yeah. Right? And then I did a movie with Mike Tyson. You know what I mean, and he's just a nice guy anyway

Starting point is 01:01:45 What more would you do with Mike it was called? Oh my god. I hated this movie. I even forgot what it was called I hated I can't wait to see this. I have a funny Rodman story I think that's what it give me the Rodman story, so I was uh directing or writing a comedy with my friend Motsun and we were looking for a My god that was me in the movie I I and we were looking for a... Oh my god. That was me in the movie. I look... Oh my god.

Starting point is 01:02:11 Why didn't you tell me, dude? Why didn't you tell me I look like a fat lesbian? I look like shit there, dude. That is wild. Look at that, dude. When you put that on, you weren't like, give me something else? That's a bad fit. It's a When you put that on you might like give me something else That's a tough thing to wear. Does my body look like that now? No be real. It doesn't okay good Thank God boys will tell you yeah from now on if I ever look like that just say ozun pick

Starting point is 01:02:36 I'll get on it all right because that's fucking I look like anyway. Give me your dentist Rodman Rodman Can I have your lighter one more time? No? bum bum bum no Alright the teasing of it is great. Yeah Okay, can you throw back? Can you do it as hard because you did hard last time do it hard No, don't do it as hard. Okay, got you. That's what she said All right, give me Dennis so Do you know who this is? Yeah, the redheaded guy. Correct, yeah.

Starting point is 01:03:06 Me and Mod son were doing a comedy and we wrote this part for an athlete to come and punch me in the face. And we were like, man, what athlete could we do? And Mod has Dennis Rodman's face tattooed on his arm. And so we were looking and I was like, we were like, oh my God, Dennis Rodman, for sure we should hit him up.

Starting point is 01:03:25 And so we hit Dennis Robbin up. He agreed to do it as long as we booked him a Rolls Royce to bring him from Orange County up. And for sure. And I was like, great, no problem. And so he's on the way up and the Rolls Royce driver is like, he's smoking a cigar in my Rolls Royce like I'm turning the car around I was like this is Dennis Rodman you let him do whatever the fuck he wants just please get him to the set we rented Van Nuys Airport out for like an

Starting point is 01:03:54 hour and and up until this point the producers were basically like why did we do this like we don't have a confirmed athlete this was was all like we were doing the Dennis Robin things behind the scenes just kind of just please do this right and So he finally gets there and You know mod is the one that has his face tattooed on him And so he walked up and he was like dude Dennis What up and he goes straight past loud and he sees me is that what up superstar?

Starting point is 01:04:23 And he goes straight past my and he sees me. He's like what up superstar Me and my laugh about that to this day it was so funny and then he did the scene and he killed it and He had on a wrinkled t-shirt that we were like, do you want to change? He was like I'm already in my outfit and we were like, yeah for sure. Yeah, yeah. He was good. And it was great Yeah, he was awesome. He was so so cool And I really appreciate him for doing smoking in the in the Cigar the rolls are so machines. Yeah, mr. Machine machines I'm gonna manifest something right now, and I hope it happens. I want to play an aardvark or something in one of your music videos Cool, like I want to honestly I want to be a creature of some sort. Yeah now being real. Yeah, I'm not fucking around here dog Well, you can't go from that voice to that and be like I'm not fucking around you can't

Starting point is 01:05:09 go mr. machine I want to pray I'm not back and I'm serious all right let's be real for a second then we'll go ahead yo machines what's up bro that doesn't need to be that way yeah it's gonna be that way I'll tell you that right now playa all right I'm done fucking around in this When he does this yeah, yeah Give it to him dude our big brother Urban Bobby look at aardvark. What does that look like yeah, okay? Let's see if this is proper caspits. Yeah, it's proper It's pretty close You're more of a roly-poly. How about that?

Starting point is 01:05:44 No, no don't say roly-poly. Let me that? No, don't say roly-poly. Let me be a furry animal. How about a red panda? Red panda's great. Red panda you could be. Yo, yo, yo, bruh. Is that how they sound? No, I'm not doing the red.

Starting point is 01:05:54 You want to do a red panda? I'm doing a red panda now though. It's pretty good. That's actually really good. I don't know. Can I play some sort of furry animal in one of your videos? It's pretty good. That's actually really good. Can I play some sort of furry animal in one of your music videos? Yeah, how do I incorporate that?

Starting point is 01:06:13 It'd be funny, dude. You're at LAX, I don't know where you do your videos, right? At some airport. Always at airports. Duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh Duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh Okay. Right? And you're like, you know, rapping about like, you know what I mean? Etymology of things, you know what I mean? Like of the fungi. This song. Etymology of fungi. This song has already flopped. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Whatever it might be. Right. Okay. And then it's like, you know, like, yeah, man, the fungi, whatever, you know what I mean? Communicating each other underneath the trees, you know what I mean?

Starting point is 01:07:00 Cause you know, they have a network. Yeah, it's good so far. They have a network of thing, right? And so far Yeah, yeah, they have a network a thing right and in the background I'm in the back in a tree with a leaf like that Right as it can be out. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah, you want to do it? I'm out You don't want to do it. No, I'm out. Can I be in it? What's the disposition of a red panda? Like what is there? What's their thing? What's the disposition of a red panda like what is there what's their thing? Well give me their Wikipedia, what is it about them? They're they're small mammal to the lesser panda the lesser panda there We go number one. That's true. That's true of me. I'm lesser. Yeah. Yeah number two. What's another thing?

Starting point is 01:07:36 Their population is decreasing exactly so are you there's a few of us left all right? I'll have a pitch Yeah, what yeah, what's yours? Let's switch it from. I think the pitch would be, and I'm going to run on the theme of the ego death that you spoke about. OK. Oh my god. Right? Here we go. There is a sea of red pandas all over the place.

Starting point is 01:07:59 Bobby is one of them. You are a red panda, but you don't look like the other red pandas. You stand out. Me? Yeah, very dramatically. A lot of the other red pandas, including Bobby, kind of don't like you. They make fun of you. They isolate you. And so what you do is then you try to become a red panda. You try to do what they do. Try to look like them. And you realize in doing so, it's less and less of who you really are. Then they see you stripping off all of this makeup and nonsense to become them. And you shine as bright as you've ever shown. And

Starting point is 01:08:38 you rap to these other red pandas about who you really are. Can you pass me that water for a second? Yeah. these other red pandas about who you really are. Can you pass me that water for a second? Yeah, I'm just gonna this will be can this be a sort of end scene of kind of be a little bit like. Yeah. Is this kind of like, yeah, that's exactly what it is. Dude, do you go to a panda school? That was insane.

Starting point is 01:09:02 Yeah, very good. Well, what about this then? Maybe he's... Because you realize that you've hurt my feelings. I'm sorry! Good, good, good. Keep going, go, go, go, go. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

Starting point is 01:09:27 yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

Starting point is 01:09:35 yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

Starting point is 01:09:43 yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah Okay, see dude Can I propose one little thing? Instead of like there'll be a thousand repentance. Can you just multiply my body? Sure. Yeah, we'll do the we'll do Oompa Loompa Johnny Depp Wonka. Yeah, we wonka. We'll do that with you with the red panda It'll be all all the red pandas will be you. Okay. That's what I want And you can do that with technology. Do we have a deal? We have a deal. Yeah. Do we have a deal? That was great. That was really, that was good. But machines, if we don't do it, dude, bro, we're going to have a fucking problemo in the next two years.

Starting point is 01:10:12 This has got to happen. So you're threatening him. Yeah, maybe a little bit. Always a good move. Yeah, yeah, I'm sorry. Always a good move. You hear me? But it's like, I would love to work with you.

Starting point is 01:10:20 That's all. Is the rest of the show just going to look like I'm crying? No, no, no, no, no. No, you're good. And actually, your face looks a lot better. His, you're still a little red in the eyes. Let me see. Be you on Curb from the fifth season. Oh my god. Pretty good. Can you cry on command? We've done this. I did that on Schultz's show. I've done it on Schultz's show. Yeah. Yeah, you're done on Schultz's show. Yeah. All right I found my letters right here. I know you up Bob another one one more You want to thank our guests for coming dude, I'm be real I'm being real

Starting point is 01:11:02 I feel like I'll probably never get your number, but. Yeah, don't do that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which is fine. But I feel like, and this is the honest truth. I didn't know much. I know who you were, you know what I mean? But I didn't know you.

Starting point is 01:11:19 I feel like I know you a lot more. I respect you. Thanks, man. I like you a lot. Thank you. And I think you're a good dude. I think you're also man. I like you a lot. Thank you. And I think you're a good dude. I think you're also intuitive.

Starting point is 01:11:27 I think that you're mindful. And I think that you're going in the right places. Thank you. And I appreciate you for doing our program. And hopefully in the rep pants, you can just add, we don't have to do it. I'm being real. I mean, if that doesn't happen, it doesn't happen.

Starting point is 01:11:43 And I won't take offense. You know, I get it. I'm not, you know, it doesn't happen and I won't take offense you know I get it. I'm not you know I've done all the people I've done Eminem's video. Careful. I have. I've been in all the videos. It's not the move. I'm just it's a threat. Wow. Yeah it's a threat but anyway my point. Oh you're saying if he doesn't do that. Yeah yeah I'm just saying I've been there, done that. Wow. That's all. You know what I mean? But my point is, honestly dude, I love you dude.

Starting point is 01:12:08 And thank you so much for doing it, man. Oh, thank you. I really appreciate it. Thank you guys. We appreciate you very much. Thank you for saving my life. I hope we see you again. And I want to thank you for being a bad friend.

Starting point is 01:12:22 Thank you so much guys. Thank you. This was awesome.

Bad Friends - Bobby Out Raps mgk

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