Bad Friends - Bobby's 50th Birthday

Episode Date: September 20, 2021

New Merch: http://badfriendsmerch.com Thank you to our Sponsors: https://www.doordash.com code: BADFRIENDS2021 & http://hellotushy.com/badfriends & https://upstart.com/badfriend & https://www.meundies.com/badfriends    YouTube Subscribe: http://bit.ly/BadFriends 0:00 Rudy's Birthday Present  7:48 Bobby Bombs at the Comedy Store  13:36 The Best Music Album   18:15 Fancy B Forgets a Gift for Bobby  28:03 The Herpes AMA with Christopher Pickering  39:03 Bobby Is More Conservative at 50  45:20 Gavin Newsom's Recall, Caitlyn Jenner, and Bobby Likes Straight White Males  51:24 Birthday Cupcakes For Bobby   54:02 Bobby and Andrew Improve Commercial Jingles   1:04:33 Rudy Roasts Comedians TigerBelly: https://www.youtube.com/tigerbelly Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bobbyleelive Twitter: https://twitter.com/bobbyleelive Tickets: https://bobbyleelive.com More Andrew Santino Whiskey Ginger: https://www.youtube.com/andrewsantinowhiskeyginger Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino Twitter: https://Twitter.com/cheetosantino Tickets: http://www.andrewsantino.com More Bad Friends iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-friends/id1496265971 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/badfriendspod Twitter: https://twitter.com/badfriends_pod Official Website: http://badfriendspod.com Opening Credits and Branding: https://www.instagram.com/joseph_faria & https://www.instagram.com/jenna_sunday Credit Sequence Music: http://bit.ly/RocomMusic // https://www.instagram.com/rocom Character Design: https://www.instagram.com/jeffreymyles Bad Friends Mosaic Sign: https://www.instagram.com/tedmunzmosaicart Produced by: George Kimmel & Bryce Hallock - 7EQUIS Podcast Producers: Andres Rosende & Pete Forthun Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots? Woo! White dude and an Asian dude. Woo! You two are disgusting. Woo! Well, you two are something.

We're bad friends. I was ready at fucking 5.50 to go. And she wasn't even, were you not in the house? No, I wasn't. Yeah, you weren't in the house, all right? So you can't give me that look. Here's the second thing I want to say, okay? I just found out this fucking girl didn't give me anything for my birthday.

It's my 50th birthday and I go, where's the iPad? And she goes, that's too expensive. I got no money. Yeah, you have fucking money, lady. It's still expensive. I know. My point is then I go, and then I ask you, where's your money? And you go, I'm getting my teeth fixed.

She hasn't been to the dentist one time since she's been in America. So you fucking lie to me. And then she said, my teeth are rotten. And number two, I'm not trying to be rude, all right? I know you're a young girl, okay? But what I'm saying is that I don't charge you rent in my house. Not one rent, right? When I go to a steakhouse or whatever, I always ask you, do you want some steak?

You, be honest with me, Jules, right? If I went to Morton's, right? And I go, do you want some of the eat, right? And you said I want a T-bone steak with baked potato and the trimmings, right? Would I not give it to you? You would. Yeah, right? And I would never use that against you.

I would just be like, here, my child, here's some nutrients. I turned 15 years old once a year. I mean, not once a year. Once a lifetime. Not once a year. Sorry, I'm in Iran. Once, I apologize. Once a lifetime, right?

And in the Korean culture, the 50th birthday is the magical one. That's why little Santino, right? Put all these little candy treats in front of me right now. They put all these little, what a surprise. This is sponge. Who's this? Buzz Lightyear. Buzz Lightyear.

Is that what his name is? Luigi. This is Toy Story. Luigi, right? Because you're my little toy. You're my little sex toy. You don't start. You don't start.

You're my little sex toy. I'm your little pocket pussy. Yes, you are. I'm your little pocket pussy. Yes, you are. So I just want to say to you, Jules, I'm going at the end of my rant, all right? Sushi in candy form. Look at that.

What a bright and ingenious way to present candy. Isn't that cute? To an Asian person. For my little Japanese friend. Yeah. Yeah. This, I'm a Korean. What?

Korean. Are you serious? Yeah, but we'll eat this too as well. Okay, good. So, I mean, I didn't get any candy from you. I didn't get no treats from you. We decorated and you gave nothing. You gave nothing.

I have. What? What did you give? So, okay, here we go. That's all I wanted out of you. So tomorrow is my birthday. I have it here. Why are you screaming and getting aggressive?

Because I just want to scream. All right, so you have a gift here. Where is it? Oh, I'm my bad then. That's all I wanted. Can you bring it to me? No. Can you bring it to me?

No. Can you bring it to me? Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you.

Open it up. What is it? What is it, Bob? I don't know. I can just tell through the package. Show it to the fans. People want to know what it is. What did you really get?

Yeah. It's a cold taco supreme from Taco Bell. Ooh. What a gift. Is that it? You're not going to open it? No. I know what it is.

That's rude. Open the gift. Fuck you. What if it's not? What if it's a piece of cake? All right. I'm going to say this right now. All right.

If I open this up and it's not an iPad. Let's see. And this is not some futuristic taco that's going to do something for me. Right? I am going to go fuck it. I might not even do the fucking podcast. Well, let me just see what it is because I want to know. All right.

Let's open it up. All right. What is it? Oh, it's a cold taco fucking supreme. Oh, it is. Like I said. But eat it though. No, I can't eat it.

Bite, bite, bite. No, no, no, no. All right. We'll throw it at her then out of anger and frustration. Leave it to the side. Thank you so much. Very good. Very good.

Do you want the taco? I also want to say this. Hookshot. I just also want to say this. What did I get you for your birthday? Anime thing. Where's the fucking mic? Anime stuff.

I know. Anyway. I like knives. Thank you so much for the gifts. I don't know why Toy Story. I've never saw the movies. Who did it? Do it again.

What? I like knives. Do it again. I like knives. We have a board. We have a rooty board. We have a rooty board. We have a rooty board.

We have a rooty board. We now have a rooty board. That's nice. So is that when she's out of town? Yeah, yeah. Listen to all the ones we have. Listen to all the rooty board. Let me hear it.

I'm tired. Of course. That's a good one. It's a classic. One direction all combined. They have 4,000 tattoos. To Bobby. It's a fact I don't need to know.

I don't know. Those are good. Can we sell those? Oh my God. Those are NFTs. Yeah, those are NFTs. As far as I know. Those are NFTs.

The reason that these are Toy Stories is because there has been a Toy Story of our life. Our relationship and our friendship is that of toys. Yeah. We are sweet little youthful people. Yeah. And speaking of Pixar films, Pete, go ahead and bring up that Wikipedia real fast just because I want to show boob this real quickly. Can I eat this to Bobby?

Yeah. Was that the sound board? What is that? Click on that. Down at the bottom. Pete, the last one. There you go. Big screen it.

Just for fun, real fast. Show the fans. Yeah. The character's themes, narrative, Asner's vocal performance, and DiNacho's score were praised as well as the vignette of Carl and his wife, Ellie growing old together. The film won two Academy Awards, including Best Animated Picture, Best Nominated. And that's from the fucking page itself. What?

The Wikipedia page itself acknowledges it's a vignette, not a montage. Did you change it? Once again from up. I did not. Because I have other sources. This is the source. No, no. You changed it because it was before the...

I'm not talking was before. Rudy. You changed it. Rudy? Yeah, yeah. Rudy sound board. Rudy, did I change it? I like knives.

Did I change it? No. See? Yeah, yeah. You know what? You're making me so angry. Shut that up your ass. Fuck you.

Do it. No, I will. It's your birthday, you old bitch. Hell yeah, vape life. Wassup dog. Wassup dog. Yeah. Vape King dog.

Wassup player. Dude, are you excited it's your 50th birthday? No. I... Death is around the corner. Yeah, you're halfway... Well, no. For you, it's definitely more than halfway.

You're like three quarters done. Because I look at like, you know, it was a sad week because Norm died. And then... Why did I brought it down? No, no. I just made me sad for a second. And then our Ardana died a couple years ago and he was 60. He was 60?

So I feel like I have 10 years left. Norm was 61. So you've got 11. 11 years left. Yeah. Because you know, Norm was a great guy, a legend and it was so heartbreaking. Funny. Think about this.

If you die by... If you die by funniness, you've got like three years left. What does that mean? Well, Norm last is 61. He's fucking a legend. He's a genius. He's so funny. You might last 52, 53 maybe.

Oh, you think that the funnier you are, the longer you last? Oh. Oh. Then why... You should have died in your 20s. Yeah. I gave you the joke. I know.

I gave you the joke. Well, that's the truth, though. I gave you the joke. Yeah. I've seen you lately on stage. Who's funnier? Don't go there. Did I see you bombing the OR a couple nights ago?

Yeah, you did. Yeah. Pretty bad. Pretty bad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you brought me on stage like a sweet boy. Yeah. That crowd was...

That crowd was rough. Well, then... It was rough. Will you give me that then? Yeah, but I did better than you for sure. I don't know if you did. You can tell you why. I should've...

I was like, I want to stay and watch Andrew. I couldn't even stay. Because you had to go outside? No. Because you were so bummed at what you did on stage. You know, it was like a Tretz thing. You know? Here's what you did on stage.

I wanted to go there. I wanted to go there. I wanted to go... Boring. Here's what you did on stage. Yeah. You were searching. You were hunting.

You were hunting in the woods for Big Foot. You were never going to find it. It was a tough crowd. It was a tough crowd. Yeah. To Colin Quinn. There's no way to know who did better. No, there was a way. Yeah, I got more laughs. It was terrible. It is by the way

It's a special day today. Why not only is it your birthday? It's also Yom Kippur. Do you know that? Do you know what Yom Kippur is? Young, do you have any Jewish friends? Roger. Who's Roger? Who's Roger I think Kalyla's father. He's Jewish Anti-Kalyla's stepdad is Jewish. Yeah, can we call him? No because he's got out of heart surgery today. Wake him up Do you know how he had surgery today, right? Yeah. Yeah, is he okay? Yeah, he's fine My dad had surgery yesterday. My dad had not heart surgery, but he had surgery. That's so sad. I'm so sorry Now his tube and his pee pee dude. I was asking about a catheter. It's the most painful thing. He's ever experienced

What do they do these go through the hole right through the tip? No, they make no they make another hole No way. No, no, they shape they carve another hole in your penis Just go through the hole that they do of course they do my dad. I don't know. I'm not a doctor not anymore You're not I know but so let me ask you something about the catheter That was again jungler. They stick a tube right in the hole of the penis. Oh, yeah Yeah, oh, yeah, and then it goes to where does it go endless or does is there ends it comes back out of your mouth It goes they And then lock and then it comes right out. Oh, so when they pull it out

It's like a magic trick how they do with canker chips magic Right, they pull a canker chip right at the end. They go tada or something No, it goes into your fucking bladder and you know what he told me that was a bummer He said he has to then then when they're done you have to relearn how to hold your piss You have to relearn how to pee because it'll just come out. Oh my dad says when he drinks now piss just comes out Really? Yeah That's not funny. Well, no, he's fine. It's you gotta laugh about it. What can you do? Is that forever now? No, no, of course not. No, it's only like a couple more

I think it's like a maybe a month or something and then they pull it out a couple more weeks Is it your stepdad though, right? Yeah, not real. Now. He's real He's a full guy. He's a real man. I know but not your bio. Yeah, but I have a bio dad and a stepdad How's he doing? They're both alive great burn because my dad Dead dad Daddy while you die, you know what? I'm proud of you 50 years and and look at what you've done with your career and I'm being genuine right now Look at what you've done. Look at where you've made it. Look at how fucking far you've come seriously

From like a loser Korean fat loser Pussyless Lamo in San Diego. Yeah to now becoming one of the kings of comedy in our generation I show your photo. Can I finish my fucking thing? No, because it's not insincere and doesn't feel right. Is this been sincere? Was I being sincere Rudy? Thank you. Thank you Look at look at this photo right here interrupt my fucking speech. This is me 21 years old. Wow show the kids look at the kids How many years ago was that go fast math go that was 30 years ago? night that was a 29 years ago. There it is. Okay

There it is, but I lied. I was 20 there. Oh you did. Okay, okay? So I I didn't lie. I don't even know who this other guy is. I think he died dead guy Bill Bill Is it was Billy? Yeah, remember anything about that? Yeah, so I knew what I know about Billy is him and I There's a there's a coffee shop I used to work at called the Panic and La Jolla Panic and coffee shop. Yeah next door to it was this place called DG Well, he's still there. I think DG Wells bookstore and that's where I met um Like Hunter's Thompson used to hang out there, you know, I mean and did you meet him Hunter's Thompson? No, but I met um

Allen Ginsberg Seriously, yeah, the writer No, the fucking baseball fucking player. Oh the baseball. You know Allen Ginsberg of the writer. He wrote me a letter once What did it say? He says you watch too much TV? Hmm dear Bobby watch too much TV I have a letter in the house somewhere, but I hang out there. I never read a book in my life I know, but you know what I used to do. Hmm. I used to hang out there and I would like for hours and just Pretend to read you're waiting for someone cool to come in Yeah, it was like one of those places where all these cool writers and people were playing jazz and stuff and like Dennis the owner of the

Bookstore like was a friend of mine and stuff. How would you pick the book? I was just go like a seller. No, I would go to like So I would go to Kierkegaard Say it again Kierkegaard for sure, right like he has a book called fear and trembling. Mm-hmm. Never read it I have who's a good never finished it. Yeah, I've never finished and I used to you know I used to open it up and cross my legs and read so I met so I met Billy there and then Billy and I went and saw Way before it was a three bands. It was mud honey. Oh, I loved one honey. It was Sonic you so good and pavement I don't know pavement. Oh my one of my favorites and they played and there was only like a hundred people there in Del Mar it was one of the best shows ever wait where at the fairgrounds or something

No, just in the city of Del Mar pavement. It's one of the best albums. This is pavement. What was their song? What was their hit song albums? They have a The first album called slanted enchanted is one of the best albums ever made in slanted enchanted slanted and enchanted That was made for you. Yeah slanted enchanted is one of the best. They have a song called summer bae. That's amazing It's a great. How come I never heard of this band because it this is more cool You're more Creed No, you're more Creed. You're more you're more like Midwestern like you know, I grew up with hip-hop first of all So I'm policy you know now policy. What do they call insane clown posse? Yeah. Yeah clown posse clown. How do you see it?

Clown palsy Are y'all in a clown posse? It's a clown posse insane clown posse insane clown posse palsy. Okay, whatever Okay, posse whatever say posse your thing. No, my thing is into cool stuff No, I'm into hip-hop You're not and you know nothing about hip-hop and and and you know what I grew up in Poway in the suburb Yeah, you're a loser. Okay, so don't try to put Creed on me because I don't like fucking. I don't know pavement. All right, okay All right, but you know no shit about hip-hop. I can't control like oh, I live in the suburb. No, you like We see more black people. You like white shit. White trash. We see more black people working in the fucking living in this neighborhood.

I didn't have control over that. Yeah. Well, okay. You have no black friends. You're racist But I had no control over that. I would love the blacks. Well admit that you're white privileged admit you're a white privileged kid Say I'm a white privileged kid. Say it. I'm a white privileged kid Okay, I went to country clubs. I played tennis. I'm a white privileged. Thank you I like you know me already white artsy white fucking bullshit. Thank you But anyway, they have a great other they have another album called Crooked Rain Crooked Rain with the album after this Crooked Rain Crooked Rain Crooked Rain two times I think it's Crooked Rain Crooked Rain. Is it Crooked Rain Crooked Rain?

Crooked Rain Crooked Rain. Just oh it is Crooked Rain twice. Yeah, Crooked Rain Crooked Rain great album Do you like this because Zollister Jones says it's her favorite album? Is that why why is she there because it's she said it's her favorite album Dude, uh-oh Listen sounds like somebody. Oh, listen to this. Fuck Tart. Okay, my favorite album is Crooked Rain Crooked Rain And look at listen to this give it give it to me, dude Did give it to me, dude. Bah, if you look at any if you look at any, we'll be right back with two Theos If you look at any, right? Yeah, best albums in the 90s, right?

Crooked Rain Crooked Rain and Slender the Channel would be on those fucking lists. What do you mean best? What is according to who you know they would not all-time selling nobody fucking bought this out No, in terms of critically critically acclaimed dude crooked Crooked, isn't that if you look at the top 500 bets albums ever made Either Crooked Rain Crooked Rain or Slender the Channel would be on that fucking according to whom Sometimes not sales. No, not awards. You're so dumb, dude So who likes it really you and your buddies in Pauway. You're in your Pauway bubs Bro, how can you you can't say you can't say something's the best if there is no reason to prove that it's the best

Bro, listen to me. Okay. Reebok is the best shoe company Okay, according to who dude me and my Pauway buds listen to me. Okay, uh-huh people watch Full House Yeah, lots millions. I've never seen that. Yeah, right, right, right? So more people probably saw Full House then saw the movie Yo himbo sure right. Are you saying that that Full House is better than your himbo because more people watched Full House Yep, you're wrong. Yep, because a lot of people in this country I want to say this to you America. You're not that friend French and Because you guys are bright and you guys are artistic and you guys are open. All right, but I want to say this You're really being very combative for my birthday by the way

Let me tell you something and that wasn't full house that was family matters Black show by the way, which I enjoyed more than the white slave-driven show of Full House right white enslaved children by Danny ooh Danny and his uncle what it was a sex ring. That's what they were running out of that house. It was disgusting You're describing roots Yeah, you're missing Switching the show roots is what you're talking about. Can I tell you something what I do know?

Hope pavement is did that make you mad? No, okay, because you know why you know? Yeah, because you're a bright guy I do know. Yeah. Yeah, I do know but it was really fun. But can I say this? Yeah We got you something special for your birthday. Oh gee. What is it? Andres? Go ahead Will you come into the room and present this gift to me? Yeah, do it in a monologue for I don't want you in the other room He does this this is yeah, yeah, he said he was bringing in you again bringing you in a gift and I yeah I wrote me a poem or something. This is fucking weird. Do you have a pot? Is this up? Oh, okay? Hello. Hi Thank you

We could can you get forward a little bit so the cameras can catch a little over there so they can see you see you a Little bit and also um get on your knees. Yeah. Yeah, get on. No. No, Pete. What are you doing? Let him be on his knees. Okay. Okay. Hold on. Okay. All right All right. Okay. Uh-huh. Hello. Hello. Give him the mic Happy birthday Bobby. Thank you Actually today's a really happy day Stop for a second. Maybe just absorb it Take your time. Mm-hmm. So a happy birthday. Hello. You said yeah today's a very very happy happy day

Yeah, because because you were born. Mm-hmm. I was born. Yeah And and you just brighten my day every day You brighten his day. I don't I don't buy it, but okay. Yeah, also It's Mexican Yeah, yeah, yeah, you know, you know, I remember Those days when Spain was ruling Mexico It was it was beautiful. Good times. Yeah, we live in harmony Wrap it up. Yeah. Yeah. No, this is birthday gift. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I need the whole thing

Anyway, thank you Bobby you're amazing. Yeah, love you, but can I before you go Andreas? Do I get a physical gift from you? Yeah. Yeah, okay What is the physical gift? I'm getting from you. It's an iPad. I really said buying for you Coming tomorrow. Oh So I get a brand new iPad tomorrow from the future from the future from tomorrow the future right and You didn't contribute to paying for it or anything. Yes from both of us. Oh, you spent some money on it Of course, you did. Yeah. Okay, so you put the software inside. Oh

You went to the factory and you was like, wait a second. I know it's a factory, right? But let me for this specific one give me the parts. Yep, rightly stop the mechanism You know me whatever the belt thing that they do and you put the fucking mechanisms in it Wow, right and all the other fucking probably Hispanic people. Sure. Yeah, bro. What are you doing? We got to do 10 million today. You know, I mean many more to do. Yeah. Yeah And then you did that and you took it off probably the belt. Yeah, right and you package yourself Yeah, well, I put it in my bag. Well, you stole it. You stole it. You stole it. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, so you're admitting to see Yeah, and then for some reason

Jules has it. Yeah. Yeah Complets and I want to say this to you. Andreas. I want to believe you. Yeah, you don't believe you don't know Well, listen, let me finish. All right. First of all, thank you And I'm grateful to have a friend like you, right because getting a gift like an iPad is just It says a lot. It is something that I use every day every day And the thing is that if I don't get one tomorrow, yeah, right? there is gonna be a Betrayal inside my heart big time and there will be something what they call a la revenge

That's what is número is in charge of that part I I understand it, but it since it is a 50-50 50-50 yeah, you guys your present if I don't get it one. Yeah, you will get half the wrath Okay, what will he get? He'll get a la hawk bar a la hawk bar which in turn translates to fired fire. Yeah She's get fired as well. Okay. Yeah, if I don't get a fucking The best I bet tomorrow one terabyte right right with I'm gonna open it up to see if he put the fucking stuff in there Because did you sign it or something? I did. Yeah, so the mechanisms have little signatures on it, right? So, yeah, so you'll know which is great. I'll know who did it

Right. Yeah, it might go to a little bit. I don't care, right? But tomorrow when I wake up tomorrow, right? I can't wait to open up. I can't wait to see that. I can't wait to see it, right, right? And I also love firing people and a little baby. Oh, yeah, and rageful I'll never see you again actually well, that'll be the end of you Yeah, yeah, cuz I'm not gonna I'm gonna get other people to do it. Yeah, right. So I'll never see you again. Yeah, so I can't wait. Thank you so much Thank you and tell your people Congratulations on happy independence day. Oh, no, it's man. It's Mexican. It's the other people. They got away. You don't you don't have a phone number

The other people got away from his people. I know but you can't call them. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, good. So thank you Yeah, one more time for Andreas. What a joyous What a pleasant day, I guess he's fired. I'll never see him again I'll tell you something right now out of all the delivery services. This is the best one It's the one you use the most. It's the one that what I only use Yeah, and the reason why is in certain places that you go to DoorDash is the number one thing It's like in Hawaii like some of the other apps They don't even go to certain restaurants DoorDash goes to all of them every single one everyone DoorDash connects you with the restaurants

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Us anchor if you haven't heard about anchor. It's the easiest way to make a podcast Let me explain. Oh, please. It's free. Awesome. That's cool These are there are creation tools that allow you to record and edit your podcast right from your phone or your computer You do it from your phone like on the go. Oh my god That's cool the bus or the subway you can do it. That's cool Anchor will distribute your podcast for you so it can be heard on Spotify Apple podcast and many many many many many many many many many many more You can make money from your podcast too. No minimum listenership. How about that? You can make money with no minimum listenership. It's everything you need to make a podcast all in one place

Where do we have to go Bob? Download the free anchor app or go to anchor dot FM to get started at hello tushy on Instagram Would you get me for my 50th birthday is not till tomorrow? But you have because I'm not I might not see you tomorrow your birthday is not till tomorrow I'm delivering something to your home tomorrow. Uh-huh. So you'll get a fucking gift you little snot rag brat Wow Well, you never got me shit for my fucking birthday. What is it exactly? But when is your birthday? We already passed it. I know when is it guys? You know they do know shut up What's the date? We are you know, we did a celebration without you. Okay? I will look it up was three days ago

I will look it up. It was three days ago. Well, it's not September. Yes, it is It's not it's not what month is it then Andrew Santino. What month is it in birthday? Birthday here we go Your birthday is October 16th. That's right. And it's coming up. It is coming up Yeah, and I'm gonna get you something so good. Mm-hmm. Yeah, look underneath that is my little photo This is my birthday because we're bubbies. Yeah, who's Benny Blanco? he's a World-famous mega star producer who who was on Dave with us. Oh, really? He's connected to you. He's

Yeah, I he's like he's one of those guys that writes some of the most famous songs you've ever heard on the radio You might not know it's him that did it. I'm a big fan. That's great. Good stuff. He is good Hey, can we can we call someone for your birthday? Who there's a guy who I found on the internet Pete Will you show the picture? This is exactly what my penis looks like. Look at this exit like to the tee Yeah, exactly. I know I've held it before exactly um, so I found this on the internet and it made me laugh really hard This guy was doing a live AMA. Mm-hmm, and it says I mean ask me anything Okay, and it says I have genital herpes ask me anything Okay, so he was doing a live and he was just fielding questions about his herpes

Yeah, so I said this guy the bravery of this guy's badass some people most people hide their herpes Yeah, guys like I got him you have it. No, I don't even know what it looks like herpes Yeah, I bet you can guess but how would I know well? Let's ask the expert We've got him available to talk to okay. This guy picked his name is Pickering Fitness. Hello How's it going? Hey Herpo Hi, Paul. Herpo. What's your name, dude? My name is Christopher

Christopher we found Chris I found you I was scrolling through tiktok on the shitter And I saw you doing an AMA and it said I got herpes asked me anything and I thought this guy's brave as shit He just put it out there. Most people are scared to even talk about it But not you you were answering and you did an AMA for how long? Oh, I do them daily educate the people so you do herpes daily herpes AMAs every single day Yeah, I do these live videos to you know educate people and grow my page. I love this So look right so Bobby Bobby has never Bobby knows nothing about herpes and he's very interested Well, I have there's things wrong with my shaft

Mm-hmm What's so funny? I heard about the drooping as well. So yeah droopers. He knows that you got droops Well, he knows you know about the droops Yeah, yeah, the old the skin down, you know, yeah, yeah, the skin that covers the head and Yeah, make cheese Chris. How'd you get the herpa derp? How did I get it? Just live my best life, you know, fuck He deep in it. Do you remember who gave it to you? Is it like it's like Oh, yeah, it was a night. Did you do nothing actually that did you ask her before you hooked up that do you have the herpes?

Or is that something you assume? It's a woman. It could be a male. You don't know. Oh, yeah Did you the dude is it a guy? I believe it was a woman, but you can never be sure these days. I love his attitude See, yeah, yeah, you don't know. Let me ask you something now. My penis has rashes on it It's got a purple heart because it's been simple wars and Yeah, my penis has a person of a cute personality, you know, it's like a rotting See an enemy. Mm-hmm. That's the best way to describe it and My penis has little bumps on it. How do I know if I have herpes or not? I would suggest that if you have some bumps go to the doctor and get them to

Do a test of it because it's easier to diagnose if you have symptoms as opposed to no, but what I mean It's like let's say, but who gives a fuck what if I have it? I have it, you know I mean like why would I need to go to the doctor got it you got it? I mean it gives my penis some like, you know personality personality. It looks like Edward Dean's almost his face You're me. Nice. Yeah. Yeah, it's got some like, you know potholes and like It's a character actor your penis is a character. Yeah. Yeah, like you can see him in the so unless anyone Makes fun of you to the point where you decide to leave this plant. Oh, yeah Oh, yeah, it's not that big of a deal

Not that big of a deal then, huh? So if you're with a new girl Do you tell her upfront that I or guy my bad if you're with a guy slash girl? Or a binary person non-binary non-binary. Would do you tell that or they would you tell them? You that you have herpes very good So I will tell everyone that I think I'm going to get naked with but I will not just tell people on the first date Is there a girl that ever like is there a human being that's ever said? Ah, you know what? I don't want that. So I'm not gonna hook up with you. Has that ever happened? Not directly, but yes, I've been rejected for having it

But I've also been rejected for being five foot five or you know, this weird personality So rejection is gonna happen. They're fine without herpes They're fine without herpes. Are you five five? Yes Yes, I was given all of the terrible gifts just to either be an inspiration or a joke in society I think I have to see which one. I think you're an inspiration. No, you're as well. You're a good guy I can tell man. You seem like a good dude. I appreciate yeah, man. I'm a big fan of blogging. Thank you Yeah, that's his birthday. It's my birthday. I loved you in memoirs of a geisha. It was great. Can Bobby make fun of you now? No, I don't need to

I don't have to I don't have to stoop to that level. How big do you have a big penis? Absolutely not. No, it's probably smaller than Bobby's honestly. Thank you. Yeah, that's a good that's a win for me Anyway, have you ever have you have you ever gone to hook up with somebody? Yeah, and you were like I have herpes and they were like I want to see and And you show them I mean memoirs of a geisha. Yeah, can we just let that sink in for a second? Yeah, no because I let it you know what I'll be honest the bud when I heard it. I wanted to laugh at first Yeah, but then a little rage happen, you know, it hits a Rachel's part of me Yeah, and then I'm like let it go and then we kept talking, right? I can't

Yeah, I'm not mad. I just I don't know why I can't well then tell him how you feel. Yeah. Yeah, how that makes you feel um No, I just wanted No, let me ask you. Did you think that I was in the movie memoirs of the geisha or do you it was that a joke? That was a joke. That was a joke and it felt good then Let's hear some of them. Yeah, that's really good. So let's let's hear let's go through the jokes then because I felt now that Okay, good. Yeah, can I just material so we can I name the segment real fast? Yeah, absolutely jokes from a jerk with bumps Nice Now does some of these jokes need a setup for me like if I say something then you could respond to something

Sort of yeah, some of them can be so give me a set up and I'll set you up for one. So what's give me a setup? Okay, so typically I will only wear like tank tops or wife beaters like in all of my herpes videos. Yeah, so maybe you're gonna be like hey Man, is that the only thing you wear? I'll do it. I want to hear your response. I want to hear response. I'll just say hey do so I watch so many Tiktok videos and stuff. You were wife beaters and tanked up the stuff. Is that all the only things you wear? Absolutely, I'm completely naked from the waist down, which is probably why I ended up with herpes because of all the excess skin That's visible Oh, that joke didn't hit did not hit. Oh that joke didn't hit. How can we make that better? There's no way to do it

Let's let go. Let's go to the next show. Okay. Let's go to the next show Yeah, you know what you should have done us another setup You know what you should have done with that is right when you were saying the punchline, right? And you could tell that it wasn't going well that you should have hit me back with memoirs or evocations Let's do that again. Let's do that again. Let's do that again. Let's do that again. Okay, so you yeah, just do a little talk Let's try it. So, um, you know I watch you talk videos and I see we're tank tops and white Peters and stuff. Is that all you wear? No, but I do sometimes wear that when I'm watching memoirs of a geisha

That's much better much better much better. Give me another give me another setup for another joke that you wrote Here we go. So I heard it is your birthday tomorrow Bobby. Yes Okay, that means you're from 50 this year. You are the same age as a Willy Wonka and the chocolate factory But by the looks of you it looks like you ate the whole chocolate factory Oh Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, no for me it's up For me it's up. It's for me. It's like Um, that was a burn make that one better. No, I think that's a good one. You like that one. Yeah, because it's he

The joke was as if I look like Ralphie May. Let me tell his joke. Let me tell it Okay, here's here. Here's how it should have gone Chris Chris Christopher Chris, right? Chris It should have gone that's see that's a good job. I love about it. That's a good job Good girl goes is it Chris or Christopher go who cares? I have herpes. Let's go get a drink. That's that's a good joke Yeah, so it should have gone it should have gone Bobby you're turning 50 tomorrow Which is the same age as Willy Wonka in the chocolate factory. Yeah, but from the looks of it I think I've seen you in memoirs of a geisha

That would a crush well, I liked your AMA I think it was really good I thought it was really fun that you were answering that also dude. Let me say something You know, I really like it. Thank you for calling. That was my that was my birthday gift to you That's the gift. I appreciate it. Thank you so much. Thank you, Chris. We'll talk to you soon. Thank you, brother Sound good. Love you. Bye guys. I Said bye guys because I was saying goodbye to him and his herpes. I want to say by the way That was really funny. Hey, um That was my gift

Yeah, okay All right. Yeah, no No, thanks. We're trying Bob. Yeah, it's not I don't think you are because I don't think anyone really is because the only thing That I asked for really to be honest with you. We got you gifts It's not your fucking birthday till tomorrow relax. I don't yell. No, you're such a spoiled brat. We're getting you gifts Everybody got you a gift. I'm just expressing something. That's all we'll say it. All right All I'm saying is is that I only wanted one thing and I feel like I'm not gonna get the one thing that I asked You're gonna get the fucking iPad. Okay. It's not the iPad. What is it PlayStation for five?

You're not gonna get the PS. I know we could I know and it hurts me. Well, that's not that for a year I've been looking for one market. I know but that's what I wanted. That's the market little boy. You can get one They're like five grand Bob But that's the thing. It's like, you know, it's my 50th birthday, right? Why can't somebody splurge five grand? That's a lot of money Bobby. You can afford a fucking PlayStation five. So can you I know It's not my birth. I'm not gonna give myself a birthday present. Why it is your birthday. No, I want somebody to give it to me Okay. All right, I

Respect it. All right. Hey, so we've been we've been following heavily the protests at the CDC because Nicki Minaj said don't get vexed Do you know this? No people are protesting at the CDC Because Nicki Minaj was like do make your own decisions. She's basically saying don't get back Yeah, but so she so she said that and then people are just going to the CDC and protest in the CDC Yeah It's pretty funny. It's actually very funny to me Would you have not would you have gotten vexed? If you were single, yeah, and you didn't have the family the kids and and I would have gotten back

You would have done it anyway. Yeah, but you know what? I'll be honest with you. So yeah You're anti-vax a little bit. No, I'm not anti-vax, but I am getting to the point And I don't know if it's my age Hmm, but I'm leaning toward just make your own decisions. Well, I feel that way. Yeah I feel let people whatever you want to do. No, but I've always I'm gonna go get what I love But I honestly as I get older you're becoming more conservative. I'm coming becoming a little bit more conservative. It's weird Wow. Yeah, what else do you think you're more conservative on pretty much everything like get your against-gain marriage? No, not the not the social issues. Are you against gay, right?

Here's what I believe in. This is what I believe in. Yeah freedom So, oh, I like this sounds like a little Fox news Listen, I believe in freedom right to so a woman's right to choose. Oh, yeah, is freedom. Oh, hell. No You're gonna let them choose. Yeah. Yeah. No, they can't drive. They can't think That baby in the kitchen sink the right to own Firearms guns is freedom. Okay, so conserved. That's conservative. That is very conservative. All right So so kill your baby

No, that's what I'm saying your baby. I think there should be rather like regulations on guns on guns There are but more a little bit more, but I still believe in the right to own some Okay, I don't believe that somebody needs a like a k-47. You know I mean, but why not for hunting your shot one They did feel so fun. They feel so good. Don't they? So Yeah, yeah, that's the problem. Yeah, but I think that um have one have more have fun. I Think so, let's go over the issues that are conservative far. Just let me just get this point out is I

Used to be very far left. Mm-hmm and because of cancel culture It's pushing me to be a Republican. Okay toward the center Do you think you would if Trump runs again? Will you vote again? No, I always vote. I hate him He's he's he's are you sure I want to go January 6th. I wish I went what if he has the same policies that what if he starts saying stuff that you like? Like what what if he's like? I'm fine women keep your babies kill them do whatever you want. God's a good He would never do that because his platform is Christian right, you know, I mean What would never he flips the script? I

Think he would he wouldn't get anybody. What's another conservative issue that you think you're you're more conservative about now than That you were a Democrat about before or I mean conservative. I mean liberal about before Well, you know immigration I've always had because I'm an ethnic person and you know, my parents came here and I you want to stop That immediately. No, I don't well you got in it's like let's fucking the up. I think a silent is fair I think you know, we should keep that in the books, but it's like illegal crossings is you know illegal crossings is bad It's not that it's bad, but it's like me. We should be able to what shut them out kick them back I'm saying that's all I'm saying either. What are you saying? I? I personally believe everything's fine at the border is it I

Don't know what you're doing. I don't know. I don't really don't know what you're doing. No, I don't either I'm asking you. Yeah. Yeah, what I don't like talking about this shit right here. That's why it's fun I know I don't like talking about this shit because I just feel like people are gonna be like you're idiot You fucking don't know you know, but they're all idiots to everyone's I can feel myself like kind of drifting toward a center Rudy, how do you feel about him illegal immigrants? I? Feel like they need to have Citizenship because they work here. Yeah, they try to

Serve Americans, so I think mm-hmm. They need to have citizenship Okay That was a political answer That's a pretty good one because she said she didn't really take a stance on it Yeah, are you again or how do you feel about gay rights? I? Love gays perfect. Yeah, that says I love gays as well. I don't know I do I don't know Hey, if your credit card is up up up up up you need to use up start and

Heal it a little bit it can feel like you're in a never-ending cycle of debt Bob, and I've talked about it on the show I mean if if you dread looking at your credit card statements You're not alone debt can feel crippling but upstart can help you on your path to financial freedom So many Americans experienced financial hardship in the last year We all know upstart can help you regain your footing to get things back on track Bob and I were both pretty broke In the comedy world we had some heavy struggles, and I gotta tell you my credit score with dropping super low and one time I had Thousands of dollars in debt, and I didn't know what to do an upstart is the place to help you get through those things unlike other

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There's one clutching. You don't want to ghost. It's this one my friends We've been wearing me me on these since we've gotten together Also, they sent them to us from this show, and they're so comfortable and like a little pooch for your penis It's the only underwear that I personally wear because I need comfort when I'm performing and when I'm doing my exercises during the day Your exercises what I do pelotons. Oh, you owe you pelotons me on these are great. They're stretchy. They're movable They're comfortable whether you're out Outrunning a killer or being abducted by aliens this Halloween be comforted by the fact that your undies are sustainable and the softest in town made From natural fiber source from beechwood trees that micro modell fabric soft breathable and dangerously cozy my friend

They got them from sizes extra small all the way up to four XL like Rudy There are a lot of options to consider me undies has a great offer for our listeners first-time purchasers You get 15% off and free shipping me undies also has a promise if you're not satisfied with any product for any reason you can Return it full refund within 45 days to get 15% off your first-order free shipping and a hundred percent satisfaction guaranteed Go to me undies comm slash bad friends. That's me undies comm slash bad friends Yeah, did you vote for the recall of Gavin Newsom? I did yesterday and a little too late, but we did it and who did you say? Did you I just put no on the one thing wait? So you said no to the recall. Yeah, you didn't want to recall him

No, I like him. I recalled him. Why Caitlyn Jenner? What would be Caitlyn Jenner Caitlyn Jenner was on that list of people that were running against him I want to recall news and put it Caitlyn. No, but was Larry Elder. You know what what no Larry Elder was one of the names on the list There was a massive list of names you could have picked from Caitlyn Jenner was one of the names and I voted for Caitlyn I didn't know that if I knew that she was on there if I knew that I think I you're here against trans rights And you're against my girlfriend push your girlfriend's trans. What are you trying to say? No, no, she even you're against the trans community the fucking the ballot and she told you what to do

I was playing fucking a game on my phone. Oh my just listen to what happened you big it I was playing a game on my phone You voted to keep a white straight male in office instead of putting in someone like Caitlyn Jenner I didn't know you make me sick dude. Fuck you. I didn't know a white straight male another pow way high San Diego's finest That's what you did I was playing a game on my phone and you didn't even pay attention through a fucking ballot down on my And what did she she said vote? No, I put no down

Did she say there was no other other things that I could fucking put I am in the fucking mailbox Okay, all right, so we'll just get another white straight male running this country into the fucking ground. Oh, fuck you gives a shit I'm gonna fuck you what yeah, fuck you. So you heard it here first Bobby Lee's guns and I'm tired. I'm tired of these pro guns. He's anti trans. He said can I say this trans people? Can I say this? That's what you are you didn't sleep good last night. What do you mean? I could tell in your eyes Why? Yeah, you're grumpy and you didn't sleep well last night and be honest wait Don't deflect because you didn't add it. No, don't do this I don't know anything about it. Wait, let me see some. No, just because you just because you're

Against Caitlyn Jenner and I don't know what you're doing. So sleep well next time and they will meet okay You do know what I'm doing. No, I don't yes I'm what happened last night that you are what happened. You are pro. Did you sleep? Well, you are pro white power Oh, you're white power now You're a white power guy wait you need to be unambient to sleep. Are you a white power guy need to get rest? I think you're overworked. I Think you need rest overworked and you have a lot of stress in your life. Why are you against the trans community? I love them. Why do you love them?

Why didn't you vote for Caitlyn? I didn't know what the fucking because you want another white straight male. He's cute I think Caitlyn is way prettier. I know but in terms of governors, it's like who would you all right listen Uh-huh, who would I rather have someone that snuck away during the middle of COVID to go to French laundry to eat dinner or Caitlyn Jenner? He's a good food in the middle of COVID when he told everyone not to leave their house He went and ate fucking dinner while Caitlyn. Oh while Caitlyn was changing the fucking time. I did changing society, bro This is say I'm sorry and your camera to Caitlyn Jennifer now. I'm sorry Caitlyn, but I did see her documentary I love it. Okay. Say it to her. I love your documentary. I love it the way you throw that pole The way she threw the pole bunch was Bruce not pole

I don't want to sound like The way you threw the pole oh boy at the Montreal Olympics when you were Bruce Wow, that's crazy to say so insensitive. Why cuz the way he ran around is dead Caitlyn's now. I know but still Bruce is inside a little inside him a little sir. I don't think so pal I don't think so buddy pal pal. Let me ask you this Are you trying to dig out of this hole right now I'm not you're so deep and I feel so good about it And I'm gonna be like I'm up here. I'm above you. Oh, yeah Okay, right you're in the whole bad buddy

You're in the whole dude. It's like dude. I honestly like I Need to work with you. You need to get more rest. I love it. I love it Honestly, I love that you're the way you are look at me. Yeah, I love it Well, what do you love? I love what do you fucking love you holding that against you that you voted for Gavin Newsom? And not and not Caitlyn Jenner anyway, or Larry Elder who was who's a black male? So instead of a black guy or a trans woman you wanted a white you wanted a white straight Heterotoxic male, that's all I want to say. I'll admit to you than this. That's all I want to say all right number one Okay, you got my money in my vote Caitlyn

Listen, okay. I I don't know a lot about governors. I know Greg Abbott. I know Ron DeSantis No, just listen, right? I know Brian Kemp, right? He's a governor as well, right? Yes, you have Texas, Georgia, Florida, right and Gavin Newsom line those four fuckers up, right? Kill them Gavin's the cutest one. Okay, fine. Will you admit that? Yes under the four. You know what? You're right He's the cutest one and that's what I was holding on to. Okay. Okay. Okay, so I know it seems shallow That's not yeah, yeah, it's right in line with your your normal my way of thinking. Yes, right? I would never fuck the other three Kemp, what about Caitlyn? Yeah, but I didn't know Caitlyn was in it. I would fuck her too Who would you have sex over? Caitlyn or Gavin Newsom?

Probably Caitlyn because I'm not gay That sounded weird That sounded weird That sounded weird, okay What I meant to say is Disappointed in your Barbie That Caitlyn is is more feminine and that's what I would probably be drawn to yeah, and and Gavin is not as feminine Okay, I wouldn't fuck any of them. All right. I don't know what we're talking about

I don't even know why we're here at this point. Well, you're accusing me this segment This segment has made me so happy. I know it hurts me though and my throat's fucked Not yet you fucking asshole we have to finish singing before you blow out the candle Did you make a wish? Yeah, I Think I'm gonna move to New York Bob yeah Just today just taught me what it pushed me to New York. I think what do you mean your attitude? What did I do? You're just so like digging me and I just got thinking I anyway. Thank you for the cake. What is it?

It's cupcake. It's delicious. Eat it. All right. Eat one you fat fuck it You know, I don't like icing. I know neither do I yeah, that's we have something in a common Eat it, you know, can I just say something? I will eat it in a second, right? This this tells me that it was homemade. No, those are homemade It's not homemade wait, those are homemade cupcakes. This tells me you got this at either Vons or some Ralph Excuse me. Excuse me. Those were homemade cupcakes Why is a frozen solid because I put them in my fridge so they wouldn't go bad freezer I put them in my fridge so they wouldn't go bad. All right. My fridge is cold. So this is um, all right

Those are made those are homemade Oh, thank you. Did you like it? Yeah, good Rudy. Do you want one? Yeah, throw her one. All right Well, throw the whole thing. I don't need it. You want me to throw it at her? No, don't throw it at her, please. Okay? Fuck Okay Hold on. Oh, it is frozen. Yeah. Yes. Yeah, okay Here you go We just throw it gentle very nice catch catch. Happy birthday, Bob. Thank you

But I have been like all week long. I've been on the Peloton You've been trying to get back in shape. I'm trying to because I I just um, I Want to last a little longer? You know, I want to last a little longer big red What do you mean? That was the old theme song. Remember that? Yeah, why does it last a little longer go fast a little longer. No Longer with big red big red You know what my favorite to the theme song to big red my favorite theme song was do you remember the old sugar cane commercial for white?

Wait for what for Hawaiian rolls? No sugar cane for Hawaiian sugar cane No Wait, well, let me play. Well, let me hear it I first know because once I started talking and I didn't know what I was talking about you. I lost the tune C&H C&H pure cane sugar. That's the one When was that you don't remember that see it pure cane sugar, that's the one What yeah, you don't remember that Pure cane sugar. That's the one is that it from 1976. I wasn't alive yet. Yeah, I was born

See in it pure cane sugar. That's the one. Yeah, that's it. Look at how cute that is from 1976 rice rice Arony the San Francisco the San Francisco treat ding ding. I was gonna say that. No, but you were off rhythmically. No, no Let me do it right. Okay. Try it rice Arony the San Francisco treat. No Francisco treat Let me do my version. Yeah, you do your version and then you will go to the YouTube, okay, right? And you be the judge, okay? rice Arony the San Francisco treat rice Arony the San Francisco treat ding ding Stop I just did it right. That's it rice right. It was on my closer, right rice Arony the San Francisco treat

Yours is like the San Francisco. It's fucking a minute long I'm sorry that I wasn't born I know I got right in 1962. All right. I don't I because the newer one I think by men and Yeah, by men and that's that one's right pretty clear. What about You got to see this show there they go back and forth for about 25 minutes about about commercial jingles This fucking show I know What's the other one that I was just thinking I don't know I don't I'm not I don't live inside your fucking stupid five eight eight

Two three hundred come on five eight eight two three hundred Empire empire that right today. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I know that one. Yeah. Yeah, so five eight eight two three hundred Empire that's a good today today. There's a today after that. I think he says today. Yeah, the little guy he goes today today and And then is there any just coca-cola have one. Yeah, what? coca-cola is Always great. Wait, it's it's always great always refreshing. We don't like blacks. Oh Yeah, that was it always great always refreshing. We don't like blacks or Hispanics We don't like blacks or Hispanics or or or Asians. Yeah. Yeah, that's right. That's coca-cola. What was that? What was pepsis? Oh, yeah, pepsis was like, um, oh

Goodbye He had a mission to go to do pepsis pepsi pepsi cola pepsi Pepsi pepsi cola pepsi It's cancelable. Yeah, I'm like I'm editing. You know, well, it's not you that said it Pepsi. Oh Pepsi said it. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, pepsi pepsi coca-cola pepsi Jingle, you know the jingle as well, right? You're a better singer. I think you should finish up because you love pepsis so much

You like pepsi more. I used to finish the jingle right pepsi pepsi. I'll see the beginning part. Pepsi pepsi cola pepsi Jews are the worst Wasn't that it what was it? That was the worst pepsi pepsi cola pepsi Oh my god Pepsi pepsi cola pepsi What was there Pepsi pepsi cola pepsi say it. Well, they had there they had the Asian one. Oh, what was that one? Let me ask you what they have in the Philippines do they have pepsi in the Philippines?

Yeah, do they look at obviously they have coke. Do they have dr. Pepper in the Philippines? I've never tried. Oh my god. They don't have dr. How about Mountain Dew? Yeah, do they have mr. Pib in the Philippines? That's like dr. Pepper's little alright, so um, do they have What else would it be orange crush? No, holy shit seven up. They're seven Sprite gotta be there's gotta be Coke owns that Yeah, yeah, there's gotta be Sprite. What about is there one that you don't think that we have here um Was that orange or orange crush that's what he was saying crush. No, it's not orange crush. It's another name

I forgot the names of it Thanks for being here Rudy. Thank Rudy. I mean the contribution It's it is just excellent through the roof. It's it's amazing. So um, when Jules first came to America with her family Yeah, statue of Liberty. They were in LA and I go, let's go get some pizza So we went and got deep dish pizza from Chicago from that place in Echo Park, Mosa or Massa Massa. You've been there Oh, great, right? Yeah, it's delicious. We get the pizza. I'm going fuck. Yeah on their side They probably ate one piece and they were just like this

Why were they so sad because they don't they that's not the kind of pizza they have in the Philippines Right deep dishes not they don't have that I know but they have what do you have they they have roundtable and that's their classy place Just really thin pizza, right like New York style. Yeah, but you didn't like the deep dish at first I didn't now you do Well, why now because you keep buying it over? Yeah, I'm conditioning her Yeah, what else can you condition her to do? Oh, I can condition her do a lot of things, right? Like what? Um, get a job pay rent Maybe I think you should start paying rent. That's my you know, you know what I would like to do is this just a very simple thing Just you know what you want our relationship to get better

do you Okay, I Don't know how many times I have to tell you yesterday. I get in the car and There's one bar left on The gas tank every time she fucking gives it to fill up the tank. We've done this before. How come you haven't filled up the fucking tank? Do you not know how to get gas? I do I just get tired You think Bobby doesn't get tired Bobby's got to go do work after after we pod. He's got to go do shows so now what? It's full tag right now. Yeah, I did that lady. What were you gonna say? I know, right? Say it

It's your birthday bitch. There it is. You know what you fucking bitch. Yep. It's my fuck I filled it. Yep, cuz I'm responsible every time I have to fucking fill the fucking tank up preach Right, and let me see something right now in your buggies or whatever you have in the Philippines Mm-hmm, let it out, right? I don't know what you fill in those right you probably have a little Little Filipinos a little wheels in you know me underneath the engine you're man like 15 of them one You're man, and we use gasoline and that's right lighter up. Yeah, we lose gasoline lighter up. Yeah. Yeah, I will right you fucking bitch Yeah Fucking feel the fucking tank next. Yeah. All right you ungrateful

You don't pay nothing you pay nothing give it to her Bob. Yeah. Yeah, do you I? Don't oh now now. What is that about now? You what you there's something going on in your head. Are you getting angry right now? Okay You know what you look like your mom right now That makes her angry you remember how she roasted you a couple episodes ago. She called me a fat ugly stupid So now it's your turn to roast her it's your birthday Because we're gonna blank it out. We'll beep out whatever you don't want to leave in you roast her. Okay lighter up, dude

you fucking mm-hmm hairless cave woman Mud Mud monkey. Yeah, I'm monkey dirt squirting dirt squirting fucking getting Neanderthal shit eating right Fucking hairless turd fucker You that good?

Right. Yeah, that's what you are. Do me. Do me. Do me. It's your birthday. Go ahead and fucking mute. Mm-hmm. You know what I mean? Demons bonning fucking sis eating Right Fucking Spanish fucking Mola eating shit Fucking yeah, I mean to Pete you fucking Gigantism titty fucking hoarding titty hoarding titty maker pieces garbage human Pretty good right feels good man Doesn't feel good. It feels good to do it. She got it out. She got it out

These guys compiled some comedians for Rudy to roast cuz she roasted you Rudy you want to roast comics that we're friends with and see What you can come up with I'll try let me see Pete bring it up Pete decided that she was so good at roasting you she did I'm not gonna lie. She lit you the fuck up. Oh, I loved it though I mean it felt really good. I loved it. I loved it. All right. Let's see who she can roast go It's got to be rapid roast fast. I Just want to describe him. Yeah, that's a good one Okay

Wrinkly oh good. Yeah, he's a wrinkly bastard. Yeah thin lips. Yeah You wrinkly thin lips Hair Yeah, and one more Pale skin pale skin next say next next next next one be careful. It's their holiday Come on say it go ahead. Come on Yeah Yeah, you can see whatever you want because we're gonna blank out whatever you're bad. Yeah

You do it I mean you could just end there. You could just end there How about this one? Yeah Yeah, I Like Bert Oh, man. All right. Next. All right. You say next. Yeah. Here we go hairless. Yes Chipmunk. Yeah

Big eyes Tarsier. All right. I don't know what that is. What is that a small monkey? Oh, okay. Oh, okay She didn't say next you got a letter say next. Yeah. Yeah, this one. Here we go. Look at this one He looks weird exactly come on. Come on. Will you weird? Yeah, you you say you remember how you're doing you? Yeah, small-headed Hairless hairless. Yeah, you like it? Stupid face stupid face stupid face. Yeah hit him next Go for the throat. Go for the throat. He's a shit. You know it. Go for the throat. Yeah. Oh

Yeah, you can light him up. Give it a go. Light him up. Fire. You know what it is You know what it is. Yeah, that's it. What's the first thing that comes to mind? Say it What's the first thing comes to mind? Say it? Yes Yeah, very big very big can I see Oh We'll bleep it bleep it. We'll bleep it Come on Rudy hit him

Big nose Weird yeah, well you could also say like bitch or you can add that stuff too for yeah, bitch ass bitch ass Next please get it. Come on get her. Please get it. You long face. Yeah, bitch That's it Pete no eyebrows He doesn't have any eyebrows weird no lips Yeah Fuckface

Do you know who that is no you don't know who that is he's been on our show he was just at the house Rick Glassman He doesn't look like Rick. Yeah, he looks exactly like Rick. Yeah, that looks like All right, go ahead You nerd Yeah Fucking big nose Then lips That's it I'm gonna say this though

Um, you know why people you're saying thin lips a lot. It's just because you're from a big lipped people I just feel like he doesn't have lips. She's not wrong. I know she's not wrong. We all do have It's a bias we all have small lips. Yeah, okay. Okay. It's one of our white privileges. You know that is Weird looking yeah, I Don't like the hair okay, okay Lesbian hair lesbian hair lesbian hair. I don't like though. Yeah. Oh, you don't like to smirk Yeah, so so so so do that smirk havin smirk havin. Yeah thick thick neck

neck yeah Weirdo. Yeah Next bless you Whatever the fuck that was was that a sneeze? Yeah, I sneeze weird next. Yeah, damn dude. She's all right I like Tom fuck that you have to roast this piece of shit. I Like look at his head of a fucking penis, but it's cute. It's a cute. All right. He's like him Yeah, he's nice to you. All right fucking fine. We love him. You know that is no Tony Hinchcliffe. Yeah, he loves Asians He really does he loves them

Yeah, he's a real ally He looks like a mouse Okay But like with a long face. Yeah, he has big lips That's a positive, right? No, cuz it doesn't look nice on him. Oh He should have thin lips then So if he has big lips, it's bad if he has thin lips, it's bad. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's it

That was great. That's a way to end. Way to end. Holy shit, Rudy Oh, can we show something real fast Pete bring up the bring up the or I mean Andre's bring up the advice or actually I have it I have it listen to this. We got something about about your foreskin from last week or two weeks ago What I don't know Long foreskin solution. So I just recently went through a period where my wiener was trapped behind some excess skin like mine Yeah, mine was not due to age since I'm only 28 Okay, rude. He doesn't need it. He didn't need to do that. Yeah. Yeah, it's rude slamming long story short That's very funny use of words. I was using a penis enlarging device called the quick extender pro

And all it did was stretch out the length of my penis around my p- length of the skin around my penis So I was stuck with a lot more skin than when I started with the same size penis I've been to a doctor and I'm now scheduled for a circumcision to bring my pecker back to the original picture He didn't include a picture and by back in the picture. I mean not trapped behind the skin. It's a bad joke I have a couple of tricks to you. I used to keep the the head from sinking back into my penis skin So there is a community that's like you. You're not alone. There's a bunch of guys I don't think I was the only one in the world. Well, but I'm just I try okay First of all, I was trying to be comforting and let you know that there is some other guys out there that have some penis problems and

So this is gonna go through surgery though You think I should eat surgery But if what I would do first is I would go get one of these put pro penis the quick extender pro penis machine So at least you get a bigger penis before you get surgery because you got to get it extended before you clip it down Well, why it's already extended the skin. You don't have enough to work with I'm saying so. How do you know this? About your penis. Yeah, I've seen it. Oh, that's right. Yeah, there's not much there So then I think I don't see that in that way though. There's not much there. It's not is a small It's not small. It's but it's not big

Just be real with me your penis for your height and weight and and And Ethnic background is probably average Okay, that's fine. I'll take that but but but when your penis is being buried in its own skin, we're worried So we're gonna buy this for you. Yeah, if you will use it. We will use it. I'll use it the penis enlarging kit Yeah, it comes with a DVD. Okay. Do you have a DVD player? No, okay? Well, we'll have to give you DVD. I'm a DVD player as well But the results are guaranteed. So yeah, we want you to use the penis enlarging kit. Okay, okay one

Yeah, I do want you to use it though. It does work. You feed your feed your body. Feed your penis I'll do it All right. Anyway, thank you for being let let let her take us out. We actually have it on the sound board So all of us look into the camera and let her do it on the sound board. Go ahead smile big Thank you for being a bad friend. Perfect. That's so good Why is your fucking thumb blue? Is that like a David Cho thing? Shut up, man. It is isn't it? It's David Cho. This is a double thing over here. What is it? Then why the fuck is your finger blue? It's it's there's got stuff there's stuff on it. I'm trying to cover it

So you put in a thumbnail. I mean nail polish on it. Yeah, why? Why don't you just leave it alone? Because it's my body I can do whatever the fuck I want but why nail polish because it was just sitting there I live with a bunch of girls Yeah, all right. I think we're losing you. No You gonna go Bruce Jenner Caitlyn Jenner on it? No, oh, I get a yellow one Something's wrong