Bad Friends - Bobby’s Dog Died on Fancy’s B Day

Episode Date: March 30, 2026

Get MORE Bad Friends at our Patreon!! https://www.patreon.com/c/badfriends Thank you to our Sponsors: Hims & Quince• Hims: For simple, online access to personalized and affordable care for Hair Loss, Weight Loss, and more, visit https://Hims.com/BADFRIENDS. • Quince: Right now, go to https://Quince.com/badfriends for free shipping and 365-day returns. YouTube Subscribe: http://bit.ly/BadFriendsYouTube Audio Subscribe: https://apple.co/31Jsvr2 Merch: http://badfriendsmerch.com 0:00 Fancy's B Day 5:00 Sinking on a Comedy Cruise 9:00 Bobby's in Haven 14:30 Can I Smell Your Armpit? 17:00 Rudy Wrote an Original Song 23:15 Bobby's Dog Died 28:45 Rudy Calls Out Bobby's Speech 35:00 I Have 7 Senses 38:30 Fancy's First Chalupa 41:30 Bobby Cheated in VR 46:00 The Finally Tour & Coachella 52:00 Bad Friends on a Boat 58:00 Sailing to the Philippines More Bobby Lee TigerBelly: https://www.youtube.com/tigerbelly Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bobbyleelive Twitter: https://twitter.com/bobbyleelive Tickets: https://bobbylee.live More Andrew Santino Whiskey Ginger: https://www.youtube.com/andrewsantinowhiskeyginger Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino Twitter: https://Twitter.com/cheetosantino Tickets: http://www.andrewsantino.com More Fancy SOS VHS: https://www.youtube.com/@7equis Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/fancyb.1 More Bad Friends iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-friends/id1496265971 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/badfriendspod/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/badfriends_pod Official Website: http://badfriendspod.com/ Opening Credits and Branding: https://www.instagram.com/joseph_faria & https://www.instagram.com/jenna_sunday Credit Sequence Music: http://bit.ly/RocomMusic // https://www.instagram.com/rocom Character Design: https://www.instagram.com/jeffreymyles Bad Friends Mosaic Sign: https://www.instagram.com/tedmunzmosaicart Produced by: 7EQUIS https://www.7equis.com/ Podcast Producer: Andrés Rosende This video contains paid promotion. #bobbylee #andrewsantino #badfriends #sponsored #ad Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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at the best price. You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots? White dude and an Asian dude. You two are disgusting. Oh, you two or something. We're bad friends. Feliz couple of years.

Felizcoblea. Santi, Santa Carzola. You know who that is? Soccer player. Corla, Christiano Rinaldo. Happy birthday, fancy. Yes, da. Happy birthday to Fancy B.

It's his birthday. Happy birthday, bud. Thank you, guys. Happy birthday. Okay, enough. Enough about your birthday. What did you get him for his birthday? What?

Meta Homo? Mata homo? Is that a good banger? I don't know. Mada Homo? Carlos left. You pay him? Yeah.

Mada Homo. That's the best you could do? Yeah. My dog died. Let's talk about it. Let's talk about your dog died on Fancy's birthday. What's that? That's you on the cruise.

Look at how much fun you were having on the cruise. Yeah, just cruise, Bob. Bobby on a boat cruising Who were these two friends a year? I have no idea I'm never going on a cruise again, dude I think it's a good idea This is what happens

So the girl, which are, which are? I don't know who they are! Which of those girls did you end up being None of them, none of them. What's that made of years three times? He appeared out of nowhere. That's the funny things you ever ever said.

Oh, that's funny. I have no idea who they are. They look sweet. This is what happened that night. You have your mom's eyes. Holy shit. I'm Bobby Mommy in there. I'm Bobby Mommy in there.

Yeah, yeah. What happened that night? So I did a show. Okay. Look at that Rolling Stone shirt I have on. And I did a show. Did we talk about the cruise? No.

Oh, this is the first time we've meeting. We haven't been together in weeks. Weeks, weeks. Can I kick this off? It's like, that's a reason, distracting. Leave it on. You're a bull. I know, but okay.

It's actually aligned perfectly because right above the tail is your face, and that's where that should be. Okay. So what happened this night? All right. So let's talk about the cruise in general. Yeah. Adam Devine, Anders, and Blake did a cruise called This Is Important Cruise.

Yes. And all I did was the only person I saw mostly was Swartson. Yeah. Nick called me a bunch. Yeah, yeah. We ate a lot. And then sometimes Eric Griffin would show up. Right.

And we'd be like, oh, fuck. because I have to pay for it. When you're eating. You know, you know, when you're eating. You show up, you have to pay for it. You're like, oh my God, here goes the pill. Wait a minute. It wasn't free?

I want to pay $1,000. It wasn't free on the cruise? No, because you have to pay extra for the good stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Before the cruise, I'll tell you this. Get this out of the way, okay? Okay. My dog dies, right?

Right. Your dog died. Right. You say what? I love you and I'm sorry. Yeah. It's awful. It broke my heart.

Right, right. Andrea's nothing You did nothing? Nothing. Carlos, nothing. I meant to say How tasty. And then

how, what? How tasty was it? Okay. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Let that sit. Let us ponder that. Right? No one say a word, okay?

And I'm going to answer that question. It's aging right now. Yeah, yeah. I'm going to answer that question right now. very tasty very delicious very good all right so

we didn't know I know and then McCone right asking for money for the polar plunge oh right yeah yeah asking for money did you end up giving him money

no I refuse I refuse because my dog died I'm sorry your dog no let's talk about the crews and the dog because the girls aren't going to talk about the dog okay okay I'm taking this off

I like it when it's on take it off Take it off. Okay, I'll keep it on. Keep it on. It's really funny. All right, okay. It's sweet looking.

You're a bull. I'm a matador. I'm a matador. All right, so, um, the cruise. A couple of nightmares happened. What are they? On the cruise. What are they?

So I show up on the boat, and then Nick goes, so, you know, you're doing two shows. You know, you know, you're doing two shows. He told me. And I go, well, yeah, just five, ten minute spots at these, like, showcase. You know, like the comedy store. He thinks. he's at the store on a crew. Yeah, I think it's going to be 12 guys on a lineup. Oh, you're up at 945 to fucking 955. You know what I mean? And Nick goes, no, you're headlining a theater.

Yeah, they give you money to play a show. I had no idea. Okay. Right? So I got off the boat. You left the boat. I got right off. Okay. And I'm calling people. I'm like, I, I, you're calling your agent. I can't, I this. I didn't sign up for this. I literally did sign up for it. Yeah, but I didn't know. Well, you're calling people. I'm like, I'm like, I'm going. I'm Okay. Yeah, yeah. So when you don't know, you don't know. Right.

Right. It's like the war in Iran right now. We do know. Yeah, yeah. We don't know what we don't know. We don't know why we're in. We don't know why we're going. I can give you some hints. Yeah, yeah, I know.

We're not a political show. Yeah, we don't want to talk about it. We're the same things, Iran. I don't know what, I don't know why we're doing. Yeah. Na, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, no, no, no, no, okay. That's subliminal enough. So.

We don't know what. We don't know why. Yeah, we do. So I get back on the boat, because I guess I have to do it contractually. And then, um... Yeah, you already said yes. You signed up. They paid you.

Right. So we go to, um... I go to the first show. You know, packed. Theater. It's a fucking theater. Sold out. But it's rocking back and forth.

I don't know if you know this. Mid show. You're in, it's waving. You're in the middle of the ocean. All right. I didn't know. You're doing stand up like this, dude. It's insane.

Yeah. But you, because I'm physical too, right? So you're doing double things. things. You're balancing and doing physicality. Double duty. Double duty. Double duty, baby.

Yeah, yeah. And I have to say, right, that that first show, fucking crush. It was incredible. Incredible. One of the best shows you've ever done. Probably. Wow. I get off, I'm like, oh, shit.

I'm a cruise comic now. Yeah, dude. You know what I mean? I could do this forever. Bobby on the high seas. Yeah, on the high seas, right? And then the second show. What happened?

What happened? The same people come. Same show. The same exact people come. No. How many people are on the boat? Thousands, right? All I know is this, the first eight rows that I could see, it was the same eight rows in the first

wearing the same clothes? No, but I know their faces and stuff. Because you run into them on the ship. Right. You know, you know everybody. Right. You know what I mean? Hey, Jim, hey Cliff.

Samantha, how was the little pool pool pool? Or whatever. The pool pool pool? Yeah, yeah. Right? Right. Tanya! You know, you do. Right. People are gambling. Right. People come on over play blackjack. Okay, Frank. Nicky. Okay. Frank and Nicky. Nicky. Yeah, what's wrong as Frank? Yeah, yeah. Hey, Nicky. They were on the boat. Hey, Nikki. Okay. Anyway. Same show. Same show, right. I go up there, right. One minute in. Ask anybody that was there. Silence.

Tanking Tanking Wait, why? They'd seen it already A day before But how much time did you do? 45 minutes Okay

You're sinking Okay, well you Yeah, I was sinking It was bad Yeah, yeah, it was Titanic for me Then three minutes in I was like I just stopped the show You didn't, you acknowledged it

Oh, I had to You had to be like I stopped and I go Everyone's heard this before right The whole audio goes Yeah And I go Well

you're gonna sit again what else you know what I mean you did this same act again no I started doing jokes like so it was so in the first show there was like three of my

pretty good jokes that I completely forgot to do from your special from my special okay right so I put those back in those killed and then I would go back

into these other jokes and start bombing again because they already heard it they didn't laugh again even though they heard and here's dude

The photo was incredible you sent me your dog What is it with you guys taking pictures of dead things It's like his dad's dead Sends me a photo immediately His dog dies sends me a photo immediately Yeah By the way the photo the dog is It's so sad

It's beautiful It's beautiful yeah Because they wrapped him up in a little like swaddling Like in a manger Yeah yeah He's like a little baby Jesus Baby Jesus So um

Bojo Anyway I Bojo No it was Remy It was Remy It was Remy Yeah So anyway

So anyway I continued to bomb And you're bombing bad. Bombing bad. And I just take my clothes off. Yeah, you know how I do it. There's always an answer. There's an answer to every problem.

There is. And when that problem is tough enough, you take your clothes off. You take off your clothes off. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, it's an adult cruise and you've got a great body now because thanks to... Life in prison, right, first day, right? Take your clothes off. Take your clothes off.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't fight the biggest guy. Problem solved. Take your clothes. Right, you accept, right? And you get stressed. And you got stretched. I got stretched out.

So you killed on the second show because you got naked. I bombed. No, the first show killed. Second show, I had to survive. And you did. You fought and survived. Although I had to do bingo night. Naked.

No. Bingo net was fun because I did with Griffin. And I decided to do, you know, my prayers. Oh yeah. For Thanksgiving. Yeah. Yeah. So I told the whole audience, probably 250 people there.

Or I get on your knees, right? Right? Everyone else. Right? And you did a prayer? And I took the mic and I did the longest prayer about the ocean

and how about the sea dwelling. You know what? We can't even go deep enough. Yeah. I mean, because it's the mystery where you haven't even discovered the species down, you know what I mean?

And went on and on. It was so fun. That was fun. So you killed. Killed that. And then so this photo, let's go back to this photo. Yeah, this photo for the people at home.

So there's this thing called. Two wonderful women are there. One of them's wearing lingerie so it seemed. Mm-hmm. and this is where this after hours okay what are you zooming

on my hand for it's above the waist the positioning is right yeah the positioning was very el correcto so give us this these two young ladies that are on the boat

with you okay so this is the night I bombed is that the captain that's the captain on the left yeah yeah that's the captain ship

she drove the boat yeah yeah and then one on the right is yeah we heard we hit three icebergs there's four barely survived yeah there's four

Yeah, yeah. So, yeah. So that, I don't know if you, you've never been on a cruise ship. Never, I won't. Yeah. Also, I'm going to pitch you. Please. Yeah, the bad friends cruise show. Oh, wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not going to do it. Yeah, you are. No. Yeah, it's so fun. I don't want to be on a boat. It's so fun. All right, I'll do it. I'm telling you right now, at the end of the day, I'm glad I went. It was worth it. Oh my God. It was so worth it because you, you know, I didn't, you know, you're with all your friends. Yeah. And that area is called the haven.

So it's like, you know, we're, you know, separated from everyone. Oh, you're in your private. It's like, so it's like eight luxurious, you know what I mean? Cabins? Cabins. Ah. And in the middle of it is a pool, steam room, jacuzzi, open 24 hours and 24-hour catering. Just for you.

Just for me. Comics. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Just for the comics. Yeah. I mean, Griffin was down with everyone. No, was he really?

Wow. Oh my God. Yeah, Griffin was that? So you invited these two friends to the Haven and he couldn't get up to the Haven? He couldn't get to the Haven. Wow. Yeah, yeah. I never saw him in the Haven.

He was complaining the whole time. Now, how did these girls get into the Haven? I have no idea. But I was just sitting there and after I bond. With their wings. What'd you say? With their wings. They got into the Haven.

They got into the Haven. He seemed like they had passes. God, dude. Dude, for your birthday, dude, you're on. Yeah. I don't know how, you know, I think it was the manager of the boys that parked them up. Right. Just sitting there, they go, can we take a photo?

Let's do a funny photo. How about, you know, the breast thing. And I'm like, all right. So I did a funny eye thing. And I never saw them again. You never saw either of these women again? No. But this photo got on the internet, it's a great photo.

Yeah, yeah. I mean, you look good, they look good. Yeah. This looks like a fun night. Yeah, well, I mean, it was. You killed it. It was a fun experience. And then we went to Mexico and me and Eric went to a little...

You went to Halisco? We got tacos and a little restaurant, walked back. And then you turned around and came back. We came back and then went straight to Philly, yeah. This guy, let's give it off with this guy. And I want to ask you a question as a friend and as a comrade, okay, and as a brother. Yeah. Okay.

Okay. And as a... Search. What? You're searching. Yeah, yeah. Lover. Okay.

Okay. Is this, is... I can say this. I did a scene on a show, and my scene was opposite Stavros. Love. Funniest. One of the funniest guys alive. Killing it.

Yeah. Right. And I, you know what I mean? in the scene there was a lovely actress you know I mean sitting on my lap and we're having a conversation

in between takes I look at the actress and I go excuse me can I smell your armpit and she goes yeah yeah so I smelled it and the stabber goes

you can't do that wait why in the middle of the scene no it was between oh yeah yeah oh Yeah, that you can.

Yeah, you can. Middle of the, if it's in the middle of the scene. No, it wasn't in the scene. It wasn't a part of the show? No. Oh, that's an interesting move. No, I asked, hold a minute. I asked the question.

Can I smell your armpit? I go, may I? I said, may I? Do you think that she smell? What? As a joke? What? As a joke? As a bit.

As a bit. It's a bit. And she goes, yes, you can. So what? And the stab rolls goes, you can't do that? And you did. I did it? And did that cause a rift?

No. It was fine. But my point is, is that what do you think? I think you shouldn't have done it. Why? You know what? I support you always. I know, but why?

It's not a... What did you need to smell her armpit for? Would Andrew have done it? No. In a million years, no. In a million years, no, but we had already, we've already hung out. I knew her, right? Oh, was this a flirtatious?

No, it wasn't a flirt. She's married. Oh. Yeah, it was just a joke. I was like, because she was, it was right here. I go, can I smell your arm? May I smell your armp? Okay, to your credit, she's sitting on you.

You're in the scene together. Yeah, yeah. Arm is around. They say cut, right? They're setting up a different thing. But like, don't move because we're just doing a little adjustment. You want to know if she's what you want to just. I don't, that wasn't even into thinking anyway.

It was just something like, as a joke, I go, hey, can I smell your armpit? Did it get a laugh? Yes. She laughed. She laughed. She laughed. That's a pure case of jealousy That's how I would like to be able to smell her armpit

But I can't yeah Why can't we smell things We should be able to We should If you ask nicely If you say may I Yeah yeah And you said may I smell

May I smell? May I smell? She gave you one big huff Yes What did it smell like? Purity Purity Purity as an essential oil

Like an essential oil Though you had a lot of fun The last couple of weeks You've been cruising My dog died You got three more Call them more dogs It was the worst

It was awful It was awful Bring the girls in Bring the girls Yeah yeah I feel bad that the dog died Broke my heart Wow

Look at this for Fancy's birthday And you guys wanted to sing your song That you guys wrote Wrote in Spanish And you've been rehearsing it Last night They were watching the Harry Styles thing Yeah

Who wasn't Who wasn't Is that what that line is for On Melrose Is that for Harry Styles? Do you know what I'm talking Oh, he likes watching you something. Look up line in Los Angeles on Melrose.

I thought, somebody told me it was for Harry Styles, but there's been a line for like four days straight. What's going on? A line on the streets of Melrose for Harry Styles. Is he releasing an album, like signing or something? He already released his new album, but it's on Netflix. Okay, look at this. Fans line up overnight for Harry Styles' L.A. pop-up.

Dude, it was around the block. Because it's Harry. But you just waited outside to do what? He's not there. He's not there. But maybe merch. Maybe merch. Maybe merch.

All right, so sing Fancy Be the song. So last night, they were watching the Harry Starles thing. And then I heard them say, well, I know that it is Andreas's birthday. It is. Let's write a song for his birthday. And I heard them rehearse it. And I can't wait to hear it. So yeah.

And I know that you say you start off with the first of first, right? So let's go. I'm excited. I'm so excited. Happy birthday, by the way. Here we go. Here's your present. That's fine.

Happy birthday to Andres Me Amor Me Amor We love you Happy birthday Hey Yeah

Now you guys Rehearse that For how many hours About three hours Yeah She wrote Yeah You wrote the yeah

Yeah Yeah yeah She sat down and wrote it It was beautiful Yeah I want to give you We should give Andres, his gift.

We bought him, you guys know he's been wanting a new car for a long time. Yeah. You got him a car? We decided. We decided. He's going to get a Tesla. A Tesla, yeah. Oh my God. But we got you a cyber truck.

Is that okay? Yeah, that's fine. But it's a toy one, right? There we go. Oh. There you go. Thank you, guys. That cost, you know how much that cost?

$4.95, then. So, happy, yeah. Happy birthday. And your daughter can go right here in the back. In the back. Beep, beep, right in the back of the cyber truck. Yep. Thank you, guys.

And if you look inside, it's one of his androids. His new robot? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's in the other one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Here you go, man. Yeah, happy birthday, dude. Happy birthday, bud.

Okay. Happy birthday. What a good song, you guys, what a great song, guys. By the way, you both look. Yeah, like you might be. Latina? Latina.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You might be. That's a compliment. You more than you, though. Issa? Yeah, because the style is right. Well, she put all the effort. She did the whole thing.

Yeah, he said it. also is wearing more of his traditional Spanish. Yeah. Rudy's... You're more like... You're more like Hollywood what a Mexican would look like. You're like...

Dances with Wolvesy. Yes. Yeah. You're more dances as wolvesy kind of a native. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. She looks like she buses tables at Casa Vega. Casa Vega, yeah, yeah, yeah.

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We're sorry about the dog. Oh. Who found the dog? You were out of town. No, I was here. Oh, it died when you were here. So what happened? Yeah.

I thought you were gone when the dog died. No, no, no, I was here. I was there. Didn't cry at all. What? Huh? Didn't cry at all. Why not?

You didn't cry. No, I didn't cry at all. You were sobbing. You were wailing. Oh. Like a black person at a funeral. Why'd you take my baby? That's crazy.

Dude, I was doing like rolls. So you were shocked, you were numb. So this is what happened. Confused. Yeah. What happened was, so Remy is a dog that we've had for, I don't know,

15 years. It's kind of be a long time. Yeah. And one of the fires, he was left at a pound. Not a pound. What do you call it? Yeah, a pound, yeah.

And they said, you know, they had such an influx of animals coming in that Remy was one, that they were getting euthanize, right? So colloid. Violet and I went and got picked up Remy. And we, as a foster dog. Yeah.

Yeah. And we would give Remy to a family. That dog would run away from that family. Come back to him. And run toward our house in our direction. That's cute. Right? And he did that twice.

So we kept him. You have to. Yeah, we have to keep Bremi. And Remy is, what a beautiful dog he was. And so on Friday he was at, because he, he, he, he, he, he, Sometimes he's at our house and then sometimes at Colila's house. Right. And at this time he was at Colila's house and she just said.

She killed him. I knew it. I knew it. She strangled him to death. She strangled a death. I knew it. I saw that coming. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So he died at her home. No, no, no, no. Go ahead. She told me when I was babysitting there like, oh, I think Remy's telling me that it's time. No. And he was just, she was just crying. and Remy was just like he couldn't even move anymore. He couldn't pee like on his own.

It breaks my heart. And he couldn't, yeah, he wouldn't eat. And then she just called me. She's like, she goes, I go, can we do it Wednesday? Can he die Wednesday? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can we do it Wednesday? Like not tomorrow.

Yeah. Can we do Wednesday? I'm free Wednesday. Yeah, yeah. Because Thursday have therapy. You got stuff to do. So I can process it. Right.

You know what I mean? Let him die. Wednesday. Yeah, yeah. And she's like, tomorrow. He's got to go. So we go to Colala's house.

And the whole process is weird. Number one, I, you know, I've never, the seven animals that I have are the first animals I've ever bonded with. I love them so much. And I spend a lot of time with the animals. I hope, you know,

and I, so I don't know what the process is like. So we're at the house. And, Why is it so quiet in here? We're listening to you. Oh, is that what it is? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. And, you know, a lady comes over, right? And it's very, he started flirting. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Why did she have to be so hot? Yeah, she went in. Oh, my God.

It was so pretty. The nurse that came over? The vet. Beautiful. The vet came by. It was like, that's my wife. Yeah. Yeah, and immediately he started making jokes.

He's, And everyone just looked at him weirdly. Yeah, but he was beautiful. And you were in a time of need. You were stressed. I understand this. He was vulnerable. No, but we were crying.

He was crying as well, but he was crying for pussy. He was crying for help. Yeah, I was going to do a, hey, grasshopper walks into a bar. Bartner says, hey, we have a name it day after you. You have a grasshopper with Steve or whatever the fucking joke is. You got it. You got it. You got it.

That was it. Whatever the joke. Home run. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I was doing that. And then she gets serious. And she's like, this is the process. Do you know what the process is like or no?

No, I'm sad to not know yet. Do you want to know or no? I guess, yeah. Yeah, yeah. There's two shots. Two gunshots. Yes. Yeah.

One seems like enough for the dog. One to the heart. One to the heart, one to the head. Wow. Couldn't just do one? Yeah. I mean, tough dogs. I would semi.

Remy was a tough dog. Remy was a tough. Tough dog. Yeah, tough dog. Two shots. And he was still going, he was still like hanging in there. He was hanging in there. He was hanging in there.

Two shots. Yeah, yeah. Two shots. Yeah, so the first shots fill of volume, other things, sedatives, you know what I mean? To calm. Make it nice. You know what I mean? And he did a face like, you know, like one of those.

At peace. At peace. And then the second shot is the thing. And then, um. That was it? Well, no, I'm not done. Oh, sorry. What the fuck, bro.

Sorry about that. I assume the second shot was kind of... That's not the end. It's like an A-24 movie. Right? Sometimes the ending, it just goes on. Like, you know, Lord of the Rings, the third one? It's a little too long.

It should have ended when, you know what I mean? They all bowed to the hobbits. Remember that? You know what I mean? No, you don't bow. We bowed and everyone bowed and you're crying. You should have ended there. Yeah.

But that's not what this movie is about. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This movie is going to continue and it's not going to have a point. Got it. I'm logged in He had to do a speech When When Remy died

You said you wanted to do a speech And that's when the vet was like Okay, you can do your speech No, no, it wasn't a speech Juliana I went up to Remy I whispered something in his ear That's not a speech

What did you whisper in his ear? But you were making a big deal out of it Well, it's dead It's a big deal What did you whisper in his ear This is pissing me off This is Wait, wait, wait.

Wait, wait. They're not. They're not. Was the vet still there? Yeah. The whole time. This is pissing me the fuck off right now, good. I knew what's going on.

This is pissed. No, you don't know what's going on. They're lying. It sounds like they're telling the truth. Yeah, no, no, no. They're pan bondying it. Don't pan bondi the situation. All right?

Now, this is what you're doing. So check it out, okay. I wanted it. I wanted to whisper something into Ramiz's ear is what I was doing. No, but before that, you were like, can I just say something for everyone? And what did I say?

You were just like, this dog has been... You just did a whole thing. And then you just kept looking at the butt. You're liar! I'm not! I'm not! Okay. Anyway, I did a speech.

What did you say in these years? I think I did a speech. I'm kicking this off. I'm fucking taking this off. I'm taking this off, right? I don't care. What did you say in his ear? Sweating, right?

What'd you say? I just basically said, thank you. And I love you so much. And I'll see you again. You know, when death occurs, like my dad. You said the same thing to your dad. And they did a selfie. When death occurs.

Yeah, I believe that when death occurs, it's a weird feeling. I always believe I'm going to see them again. You will. I always believe they're still with me. I'm going to see them again. And so it's almost just like, I'll see you soon. Maybe because I'll die soon.

I don't know. I hope not. Yeah, I mean, either. But, you know what I mean? But I just feel like I'm going to see them again. And I don't know, man. That was one of the toughest. We're making light of it and stuff like that.

But it was tough, man. It was really hard. I wailed. I wailed. When you put them in that swaddling picture that you sent me of him in like a bed. It was like a bed that you made? No, they bring it.

They brought the bed. Yeah. And then they take it away or do you want Remy on your property? What do you mean? Well, people bury their animals in their yard all the time. No, he's being cremated.

They live in an apartment. I get the ashes. You need, I'm going to bring Remy back to my house and bury him in my backyard. People do do that. That's very... I have his hair. You did.

Yeah. But that's not abnormal. People do. their animals and their back. But the hair between like the sack and the pub hole, I wanted that hair. You wanted that. You wanted his Nifkin.

I am funny. No, it was very good. It's not even funny. It's not even that funny. You know what I mean? So they cremated. Who's got the ashes? I think us.

I think us. Yeah. You don't know? You don't know where the ashes? Yeah, we do. It's us. No, we're still. We just said it, dude. Okay, I got it.

All right? Get with it. Yeah. So, no, they bring, no, so they bring their own bed, and then it's their own blanket and they flowers. Yeah. Right? And they just kind of take them away. And he goes, but you know what I'm tired of, dude? Because I didn't post about my dog dying on TikTok or Instagram, right?

Yeah. Don't I'm tired of. This is a photo when we first met, right? This is the last photo taken together. I fucking hate that shit. Well, do two months later, the skeleton, you know what I mean? This is two years later. I mean, why don't you keep going with it then?

Right, why not? Yeah, yeah. My point is that it's not something to, I don't want, you know, many people to, you know, go, oh, I'm so sorry. I know we're talking about here on this podcast. We're going to get a sympathy a lot after this airs, for sure. But that's not where, I mean, this is a podcast and, you know, we tell our fans what really is going on.

You just didn't want the attention. Yeah, but to post it, I felt like it was weird. Who was posting it? Not us. I'm just saying when people do it. He's like when people lose their dogs and stuff, they post about it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They do a thing.

They do a video. They set up a camera and they do a thing. Yeah, yeah, but... Ring light and everything. Yeah, but it was... There it is. First and last photo. Yeah, first and last photo.

Oh, my God. I do cry when I think of that. Well, see, some of these are weird because both died, the person and the dog in some of these. Oh, they did? Yeah, that kid died tragically. That one. The dog's still alive. Oh, it is?

The dog is thriving. That's terrible. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, you know what? A wonderful run. And you're going to get another dog. No, no, I'm not. You got to get one.

No, no, no, no, no. Got to do it. Dude, I'm down to six now. Get it up to seven? No, no, no, no, no, no. Six is enough? Yeah, we have three cats and three dogs. It's a perfect family.

It's a good number. It's a good number. And what are you going to miss most about the dog? Oh, my God. About Remy? I love one dogs. We have one dog that's a betrayer. Ooh.

Oh, stubby? Yeah. Because Stubb loves everyone. So it's not just you. Yeah, if you walked in the house, Stub would hop on you. Best friend. Best friend.

Great dog. Yeah. Right? But Remy wasn't like that. Remy's like, no, you're my guy. Loyal just to you. Yeah, yeah. Julio's like that too.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Guni's not like that. Our cat. Our orange cat. Yeah, Guni's a slut. Yeah, Goni's a slut. Yeah, yeah. Cats are either sluts or they don't talk to anybody.

Yeah, yeah. That's why I love Bojo, my white cat, because he only loves me. Mm-hmm. If I'm laying down, he comes right to my chest. It lays there. Just for you. Just for me. And so I had a special bond with him in that way.

And I don't know. I wouldn't have missed him a lot. Where's a joke? Where's your joke, I? No, I didn't. I wanted you to get that out. Oh, yeah. You should have a joke there, guy.

Yeah, but your dog died. Take the hat off. I really like it. Mad of Homo. I'm sad that your dog died. Yeah, it's devastating. And also, you know, I, you know. I played with my dog a lot.

when you told me your dog died. Really? Took her outside and went nuts. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Better extra treats. How old is she? She's eight. Oh, my God.

Eight's a good number, though. She's good. She's cruising. But she is eight. Yeah. She's not young. It's, um, you know, no one ever told, you know, when you buy, when you, when you, when you, when you, when you get a puppy, you're like, you just go, oh. But you just don't, you know, I had no idea that you could literally bond with it like its family.

Yeah, it is. And then all of a sudden, oh, it's like my kid. almost, that kind of connection, right? It's, it sucks. It sucks. It just sucks, man. Well, I think there's millions of people that, that are, oh, well, the fans who have that experience, they know.

It sucks, but it will, good memories. Good memories. Can I get some towels cleaned? Oh, my God. I will. When was the last time he did laundry? Mama, our mom did laundry two days ago. But no towels.

No towels. I'll do it tonight. Will you? I will. Does that sound real? Well, who, what happens? Do you, you wash, you fold? Yeah.

Yeah. Just like the old days. Can I guess, can I be honest with you? And this is not a joke, right? I've never, I've never seen them do. Oh my gosh. This is not a joke. You've never seen them do laundry.

I've never seen them do anything. Well, the mom does one. Except lay down and watch, you know what I mean? HBO. Right. You're always. in your room. So how could you see us?

That's why you never see us. What? You're always in your room. Yeah. So how could you see us? Guess what, guy? I'm like daredevil. Okay?

I have seven senses. He knows. I have touch, right? Right? Right, Carlos? Right? I have touch. I have vision, right?

But I also have hearing abilities, right? And I know what a fucking, you know what I mean? Washer sounds like when it goes off and a dryer. What does it sound like? Mm-hmm. So when I'm in my room, my other senses don't receive those sounds.

The frequencies. Those frequencies, okay? I'm daredevil. Yeah. Okay. I have hypersonic, you know what I mean? I'm like a bathe, the echo, bang bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang.

No fucking dryer. No dryer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, I'll wash tonight. Okay, my senses better feel it. My senses better feel it. I'll hold it nicely too. Like your mom does.

I will. Do you know how to do it in the circular fashion? Well, call her to confirm. No, it's kind of like that, though. It's like a circular, like, I don't know where they learn it. It's great. Maybe from the islands or something, but it's a beautiful way of doing it. Well, when they on the boat ride over.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because if you fold it standard, like, just fold it like a fucking, you know what I mean? Square? No, no, no, no, no combrendo, right? I want fucking circular perfectly in the fucking, you know what I'm the thing. Oh, that's my mom. We'll call her. My favorite is Issa using the fan

Like she's like it is Like it is outside And she's in the middle of a hot summer day in Mexico She's getting into it Yeah no I love that Yeah getting character And then we Another thing is we

I showed them the movie What movie did I show you? The Edge of Tomorrow Yeah pretty good movie That's a great movie You guys watch that together? You see it? I watched

Have you seen that movie? Yeah, years ago Yeah yeah I watched the George Clooney movie this past weekend with my parents where he's an actor, he's himself. He plays himself. Is Sandler in it?

Yeah. Oh, they're, yeah. He's his manager. Good? Jay Kelly. Good? Yeah. Okay.

Yeah, it was okay. It's hard. It's just Clooney being Clooney. It's like literally him playing, it's like a narrative as real life. Mm. And it just made me think how good it's got to be to be Clooney. What's that? Oh, what's that?

Someone here? Is there a delivery? I tell you, we have another delivery. Another, another birthday gift for you. Another car? No, look. Oh. Taco Bell.

Yay! I got your Taco Bell, Andres. What's the order that you gave him? I got beef, potato griller, chicken, bacon, chalupa, large fries. Another large fries. But I already ate the fries, so you... Thank you. You ate both of the fries.

Yeah. Smart. That's the best part. Have you ever had Taco Bell? Not really. It's not Spanish. It's not. What is it?

How is it not Spanish? How is it not Spanish? Taco. Taco and Bell. There's so many bells in Spain, dude. It's a whole country. That's where it was invented, I think. The bell.

Take a bite. Take a bite. Yeah, take a bite. It's so disrespectful. She went out of her way to buy it. Yeah. Take a bite and give us an honor. Is that a gordita?

No, this is a chicken bacon. What did you get? Chalupa. Chicken bacon chalupa. Yeah, yeah. Take a bite and let's see. Yeah, yeah. Chalupa.

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Mm-hmm. We'll give it to McCone. He'll eat it. You know, he'll eat anything. Yeah. What does chalupa mean? It is. A fried tortilla, the shape of a boat with a spicy feeling.

But it's made up. It's a taco. It says right there in Spain and Latin America, it's a small light boat or canoe. Isn't that what a taco is? A little light boat? A little baby boat. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But a chalupa is...

A thicker boat. It's a thicker boat. It's a fried boat. I see, I see. A fried boat. Like, you were on a chalupa at sea. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

I had two chaloupes of my face. Yeah. A couple of tortas. Yeah, yeah. Some tortas. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, no, it means little boat or canoe. How do you not know that?

Chalupas. Look, on the horizon, a chalupa. That's what they would say. A little tiny boat. Mm-hmm. Also, what I've been doing with for these girls is I set up the VR sandbox. Yeah. Do we talk about that already?

What's the VR sandbox? Get with the program guy. What is it? I don't know what it is. Yeah, yeah. Google me VR Sandbox. These guys don't know. Sandbox VR.

Oh, that's where you guys went and fought zombies? Shoot zombies? Yeah, yeah. Was that fucking amazing? Where did you guys do that at? We did that on La Sienna, like more Century City.

Yeah, that's us. Your position works good, by it. Yeah, my position is great. Look, yeah, look at my position. You know what the funny thing is? He even puts a gun down like a soldier so he doesn't shoot friendly fire. He even knows.

He knows not to get his own. That's how you reload. Reload. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's how you reloaded. You're reloading a lot there. You're shooting a lot. The two girls, the girl I'm seeing and us,

and you know, who got number one? You cheated. You cheated. You bought the laser gun. So obviously you'd win. It's all teenagers and then this 54-year-old. Yeah. Yeah, with the laser gun.

Wait, wait, wait. Wait, wait. Wait, wait. So you got the upgrade and they didn't get it? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. There's two things going on here that made me mad. Okay. Okay, yes.

Let's do two things. Two things, yeah. I cheated. Yeah. Okay, I cheated. I bought the laser gun. Did you guys have access to the laser gun? No, I mean the girl I'm saying got the laser guns.

And she still couldn't win with a laser gun. She took second. Okay. Wait, what was the upgrade? You had to pay for the laser? And they only gave you two upgrades. You're only allowed to have two laser guns. Right?

So I go, what do you want? I guess I'll take the handgun. You know what? So you were... Yeah, spraying everywhere. No wonder why. Play the video. Look at his stance.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. The kid's going in. Yeah, yeah. On the left, on the right. On the left, on the right. Yeah, yeah. You guys screaming bumping into each other is the funniest part. That's the funniest.

Screaming. It was only her, by the way. Yeah, yeah. And then let's address the second thing. One fifty-four-year-old. Do you don't think I forgot? You don't think I forgot that comment? A 54-year-old?

Yeah, you know what, dude? I'm a child. Okay? I play whimsical games. You do? Yeah, yeah. You like that. What did we do yesterday?

I set up. Escape room. Escape room. Why do you like those? It was very fun. It was fun. Such a white person thing. I know, but I set things up.

You mean, I'm a guy that plans. Did you escape? Yeah, we did escape. We did. Yeah, we did. Who figured out the escape? What? Who figured out the escape?

Um, the people that worked there. It's like hand, hand, hand, tan, tan. Right? We didn't do shit. They told you. Oh, yeah. Nobody's, Bobby, the Bobby wasn't the team leader. Yeah.

Actually, we did a lot. And then the only thing you were doing was like, I think we got to take a hint. Yeah. Who took a little? Who took the... Stop. Who took the wire? Well, I opened the thing.

Stop, stop, stop. Who took the wire with the hook? Who took the wire in the hook, put in the hole, and got the key out of contraption? But you were screaming at... Yeah. And you were... Okay. Who did that?

You? That was complex. Okay. You were getting angry. You were so angry. You were screaming at her. Screaming at who? The girl. Yeah. My date.

Yeah, your date. Yeah. You were so angry. angry at her. Yeah, because she wasn't doing it right. It's one of those, it's one of those things. Why are you smiling? I'm listening. All right. So basically what, what this situation is is this. Okay. It's like a gigantic fish, kind of like a fish. Bowl. No, like yeah, ball. Gigantic one. With levels to it. Right.

It's like a fiber glass with little tiny holes in it. Right. On the bottom is a key. Right. You stick a. All right. You stick the little, you know what I mean, metal thing with a hook on it inside the tiny hole. And then there's another hole. She has a stick. All right?

She has a stick as well, right? I got it. You got to bring your stick over to hook mine so then I can stick it out and stick it into the other hole so we can bring it up so we can get it out of the bigger hole atop. Got it.

Right. That's all I was doing. And she couldn't do that. We eventually did it. Okay. We eventually did it. But you got in a fight about it. It's not a fight about it.

It's... I go, you're not doing it right. No, that sounds like a fight. No, that's just me being a leader. Did she get upset? It's me being Pete Heggsath. Your Hegs have. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm warring it out.

You know what I mean? You got to be a commander. You got to. Yeah, yeah. Anyway, we did get out. Yeah, on time. We got out on time. Yeah, on time.

Yeah. Speaking of touring comedians, this guy, big tour coming up, announced the finally tour. And then I'm done. I'm done. You're done what? Torium.

You're done what? Done. Done stand up? For a while. I stink. That smells like bullshit. Yeah, you stink too. No, you stink.

Okay. Let me smell your armpits. No, but it looks awesome. This is your first time doing theater tour. I wanted to... I don't do theater tour. Huh? I never done one before.

Well, I wanted to announce it. I think it's an important moment in comedy because most times, you've never done a theater tour. It's an amazing... It's my first one. It's incredible. So I think it's so cool, dude. Yeah, yeah. Thank you.

What are you guys excited about? Yeah. Coachella! Oh no, you're gonna go. Are you not going? You're going to go to Coachella. I had to buy them. That is embarrassing.

I haven't bought it yet. I haven't bought it yet. I haven't bought it yet? No, we have a big bill. I know. It's expensive. How much is Coachella to go to? I don't know anything about it.

This guys. Google, what is a regular Coachella ticket cost right now? Well, right now. What is that? What? Do you already know? Yeah, because they're at a thousand $1,000 a person to go to Coachella. Normally, they're $4.

500, I believe. Holy shit. That's just a regular admission ticket. I went the third year it existed. If you and I went, just you and I went, it'd be free. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Just you and I, but you just don't want to go with just you and I. Yeah, but you said you get it for me for my birthday.

Happy birthday. Happy birthday. Who's the headliners this year? I don't. I don't give a shit. Sabrina, Justin Bieber. Aerogee. Sabrina Carpenter.

He's open to go to Tesla at the Tesla car. Happy birthday. birthday, dude. Okay, so wait a minute. Which weekend are you going? I'm sorry, are you Justin Bieber? She's one weekend too. So this is the second weekend. So you guys are going to see Sabrina Carpenter, Justin Bieber, and who's Carol G. Am I out? Am I gone? Am I stupid? I don't know who that is?

The strokes and Interpol. Carol G is bigger than young thug? Yes. Who's Carol G? She's like a Latino artist. Why are they putting all these Latino people all over our love? Do we, I get... Is she playing the Super Bowl next year? She's really good. Carol G. Do I get Interpol? and strokes?

Yeah, you, yeah. Because we know, we know Paul from, you know. Love. Yeah, yeah. He's like one of the cool. And I love the strokes, so I mean, that'll be good for me. Zoom in? Movie will be there.

What does it feel like to be on the second night there after Bieber? Go zoom into the second night there? What does that feel like to be Yamaguchi? Last on the list. That would be bad friends if we headlined something. Yeah, yeah. We'd be after Mahmet Orban and Reardon. Yeah, yeah.

De Spitz and What a More. Gen C, bad friends, and Yamaguchi. Hello, this is Yamaguchi. Are you still coming? I don't know. Why are you from me last? No, no, no, no. You're first.

No, no, no, because in Japan. No, in your country, don't you read backwards right to left? But still in our country, the last, the name is the last. Interesting. You know, you should go Justin Bieber and then Yamaguchi. I don't know. We'll work on it. Okay.

That's crazy. That's crazy. David Byrne, this is really good. Somber. There's some really great stuff. Yeah. Royal Otis, love. You guys are going to have such a fucking fun time.

I'm so happy I won't be there. When is it? April 11th. March, April, March, April. Yeah, next month, the 17th through the 19th. Oh, my God. I'm so excited for you guys. You have to come.

That's awesome. You got to go. We want you to go. Why? Because it's a long drive. It's an absolute fucking nightmare. It's a nightmare. Yeah, I would never, I'd fucking.

Remember that one? Dude, that one year. Do you remember that one year? So funny. I know we talked about it before. You guys got stuck for like five hours. No, no, no, no. That's what it was.

Was, is that I, can I say, tell the story again? Oh, I remember. What is it? Yeah, you call, you, so I called, yeah. I called my agents. And I go, you know, Colila and the girls want to go to, right? Yeah. And they're like, yeah, I pay for it, right?

Which was, by the way, ungrateful. You guys are. Do the towels tonight. You do the towels tonight, all right? You want to go to the fuck in the desert? Towels tonight, dude. All of them folded in a circle of fashion, okay? So anyway, my agent goes, yeah, all right, you know, I pay for it, right?

And the day of, Kalala goes, you literally have to be there to pick up the tickets at the box office. And I go, I have to drive four hours into the desert and then drive back. You do. And then she's like, yeah, and I did that. And you found out when you did. you got that that you didn't have to do that. Yes. Maybe the,

maybe the best part about all of it. You didn't actually have to do that. But you should go to this. Because you're going to have a blast with them. Yeah, I've never. You're going to go see some great bands. Interpol is going to fucking rip. I mean, think of how many things.

There's a lot of bands there that you definitely want to see. Moby. Okay, so here's the thing. This is the, this is going to be the first and last time I go to fucking Kuchina. Okay. You already went. I've never been.

Yeah, I went to pick up the tickets and I go back. Yeah, yeah. This is the first time you actually go to. I'm going to go inside. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm telling you right now, I don't care if next year, Harry Stiles is going to be there. I don't give a fuck.

I ain't going. No. All right. So are you sure this is the year you want to go? Yeah. For that weekend with Justin Bieber. I know you're going to love Justin Bieber. You're going to have so much fun.

He's not going to see Justin Bieber. What do you mean? He's on the main stage. I know, but I'm not going to like physically be around him. No, but you're going to be dancing your little heart out to Justin. I don't know what even. Sing me a song. Baby.

Oh yeah, I will be, I will be, I will be, I will be. And then the other one I like is, if you, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you can go and love yourself. My mama don't like you and she likes everyone. You're gonna fucking love it. Dude, you're gonna have so much fun.

It's like the boat. You thought you didn't like the boat, you got on the boat, you had so much fun on the boat. You told me I wasn't gonna like the boat. I don't like the boat. I know, but you told me that I was gonna have a bad time on the boat. I was projecting.

Yeah, because I don't want to do both. Can I pitch you the bad friend's boat ride? Yeah, pitch it. Okay. I'm not going to catch it, but pitch it. Okay. You're going to be on a boat. What is it?

Okay. We'll all be there. The girls, too, right? Okay. We're on a boat, okay. We're on boat. And all of our fans are going to be there. All the fans are going to be there.

Yep, okay. I'm on Marty. I'm already shaking. Pretty good, right? I'm shaking. I think my proposal is good so far, right? All of our fans are going to be there. On a boat.

On a boat. All right. You and I will perform, we'll just do two shows in the main stage. One show, one night, one show the other night. If the boat is Sunday through Thursday, we'll do a Monday night show and a Wednesday night show. Is that what they usually are, Sunday to Thursday? Yeah. I mean, that's what we did.

Okay. Although when we landed, we saw Chelsea Lynn. Getting on the boat. Yeah, they're like, ours are next. Oh, they were doing a boat. The same boat that we were on. Oh, why they just, they cleaned it so fast. Flip these boats.

They flip them, yeah, yeah, yeah. I have a better proposal. No, no, I'm not done with my proposal. We take, how about this? Okay. We take a flight. Yeah. From L.A. to San Francisco.

Yeah. Our fans can buy tickets on that plane. We'll do a little stand-up. It'll be a 45-minute flight. We'll get off and that'll be it. No. Okay. Okay.

Bad friends air flight. Okay. So, and then we get to control the lineups. Okay. So we'll call our. friends and hey gillis hey you won't do it yeah Shane Gillis already no no we'll call

Shane Gillis you know what you're right I'll call Sandler Kevin Hart yeah yeah guys Bill Burr Bill Burr yeah Louie and I'll go guys we gotta do a boat thing yeah yeah yeah yeah I get nervous on those things I know but it's a once in a lifetime opportunity to really see your fans

I believe in multiple lives so I do I'll and also there's gambling I do love gambling yeah so there was a there's a casino No. And I was playing Blackchalk all night long. It was so... So I do love that. But is it real money? Or is it... No, it's real money. So you're actually losing money. You're losing money on the boat. Yeah, I lost about three grand. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. But... Notable incidents of boat rides, 2025. Carnival Horizon had somebody kill kill another man. Man over board on the Morella Explorer. So November, twice and August,

passengers drowned Carnival's new Celebration Key Resort in the Bahamas. All 2025, passenger died aboard the Carnival Dream. This feels like a lot. These are old people, no? I would hope so. But I don't know. What if our fans are old? By the way, we want our fans to come on this boat, but you have to be over 65 to...

Yeah, yeah. The shows are at 3.30 p.m. I'll tell you the negatives, though. You'll tell me the negatives. I'll tell you the negatives. You tell me the negatives first. Boat. Okay, all right, that's a good negative.

That's a really good negative. Boat at sea, trap, nowhere to go. They're very good. Breaks out six. Something breaks. How to wait off this thing? Middle of the ocean. Okay.

Pirates. What did I just say? I love juice. Oh, yeah, yeah. What are the negatives? Give me the list of the negatives, because I already feel it. I'm scared. It's the food.

The food's terrible. It's not good. Yeah, it's cooked on a boat. It's cooked on a boat. Even like, even the fancy Italian restaurant you make up to make a reservation, it's all of garden. You know what I mean? It's not good.

You know what I mean? And then the tepaniaca, you know what I mean? The tepaniaki wasn't good? No. Alone away. Yeah, yeah. The boat, Teppaniaki wasn't good. And then there's this thing where it's a 24-hour free, just, you know, everyone's there to eat buffet.

Buffet, right? Those are my favorite. It is terrible. It's bad. Oh, my God, it is bad. Well, you're not pitching it well to our fans. No, those are the bad, those are the bad aspects. Oh, so they can, okay.

Yeah, the good aspect. Good, has a great spa. Wonderful spa. Great spa, great, that. The pool, right? Pool is great. Pool. Fun.

Yeah, right. I have a pool. You have a pool. I have a pool too, yeah, yeah, yeah. You can just go to your pool. Yeah, yeah, you go to your pool. But here's another thing I would like. There's another thing that I would like to pitch to you.

It's a connective tissue. I'm listening, I'm listening. Yeah, it's people that love you, right, are fans and us, connecting in a way, right? It's a very special experience for our biggest fan because only our biggest fans will be on the bow.

So you're saying, because I will say this, all joking aside, we adore the fans, we appreciate them so much. I love the fans, I love seeing them, I love it a lot.

Yeah. But you're saying the way to really get close to the fans is to make them pay to come on a boat to see us. It's not just the pay to get on the boat. Oh, so it's free.

No, you have to pay. Okay. You have to pay. It's them being with us. On the boat. Yeah. So it's like after a show, it's like going out and sitting in the middle of the audience after the show. But it's wavy.

It's wavy too. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going to be honest and say this. Because I love it. Let's do a vote. Carlos, do it online, whatever we can do it. Yeah, if people would, if they would come. Let's just see how many people would come.

Okay. You know what this is like? Yeah, yeah. You know when somebody does Coke and they come up with like a hairbrain business scheme? And they're like, it's going to be amazing. And they pitch you to when they're sober and you're like, I don't know if you should do that chicken shop laundromat you were thinking of. Yeah, but sometimes YouTube.

Sometimes. Yeah, that Chinese guy and that other guy, right? Sometimes it works. Hey, what do you think of this thing where everyone came up? Because every comic I know who's been on these cruises, Swarton included, just did the exact same thing. Yeah, what? I want to do a cruise. We should do a crew.

Swartz and said the exact same thing. I know. He was like, I want to do a Swartson cruise. Yeah. And every other person that's done him and goes, I want to do it. I want to do my own cruise. Yeah. So everyone gets this bug.

Yeah, because we did it. We had fun. I know. You don't know anything about it. That's why I think you should do it. I'm not fun. Here we go. That's the truth, right ladies?

Who's funner? Tito Bobby or Tito Andrew? See? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're fun. Yeah, yeah. So do a Bobby Lee cruise. And I'll wave from the shore.

And there's Andrew right on the side. Okay. I'll get on the boat with you. No, you won't. There's no way. That was the thing that we talked about on the boat. Me and Nick, like, imagine Andrew here right now. why wouldn't I do it

I'd rather do a show on land for the fans okay good it's different it's a different thing but anyway let's move on for a boat yeah yeah yeah let's and you're trapped yeah yeah yeah would you guys do it yeah that'd be fun right

fancy would not want to do it Carlos would not want to do it oh yeah Carlos and McCone would do it yeah because they could be little bad boys yeah yeah roam around looking for girls get every STD imagine yeah he's fucking a mermaid

How'd you get a mermaid? And a siren. How about this? If the boat doesn't go far, I could do it. Yeah, it didn't go far. No, I'll do one here to Catalina. How about that? I'll do a Catalina boat tour.

A ferry. A ferry. You want to do a ferry. I'll do a ferry. We'll do a ferry. We can rowboat. Yeah, we can rowboat. Sail with us.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Come sail away. Come sail away with me. And then you have to raise the bow. I will... Okay. No, I just have a legitimate fear of... Or we could do like the ending a Titanic

where I'm just sitting on a fucking... You're on top, right? And I'm about to die. And I'm just... Let's just do that. Anyway... If you can find a more clever way to get our fans together, I am down.

Okay. Not a boat, but I would be... I would love to interact with the fans. Just not on a boat. What do you guys want on? To interact with the fans. Do you want a bad friend's boat tour? That'd be fun.

I show up to shit, dude. Yeah, I will. How about this? How about we get you two on a boat all the way back to the Philippines? Yes, one way. But that's it. Yeah, we fly back. Yeah, we fly back. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We send you and then we fly back. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now, we, we could, you could convince me. There's no way. There is ways. There is ways. To do a boat. You could convince me if it was, if it was a short trip and it was, yeah, you could convince me.

Okay, what's the shortest trip that we could do, Carlos? Well, going to the Philippines. Sailing to the Philippines takes four to eight. weeks or more. It's going to be pretty tough. That one, that one's going to... Imagine. Imagine.

Imagine. Imagine. And they can't get me off the hook because I'm swinging. Yeah. Imagine. Wait, let me say something. Yeah, yeah. I would, I would shoot a TV, a reality TV show of you and I and them taking a boat to

the Philippines. That I would do. That would be fucking. hilarious. We'd have to live on the boat for how long? Four to eight weeks. I could do that for four weeks. Just us four? It's a speed. Well it'd be with other people. We'd be going to the Philippines. It'd be a lot of like, bach, buck, buck, everyone's going to the Philippines. I know, but like our fans do can buy tickets. Why with the fans and the tickets? It's just for us,

for us to take go to the Philippines. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I have a connection with my fan days. Stop it. I'm sorry that I'm grateful for their love. This is good. up the gas. All right. This is good. I'm grateful. I'm grateful to them. You know what? Some people aren't. Some people are. Watch. Some people are. That's what they're doing it for. Am I not right? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the reason I do. Don't get angry. Are you angry? No. No, look at me, right. Are you angry? I'm too tired to be angry. Okay, good. You tired, bud? I'm so tired. Why? I was with my parents for two weeks straight. Oh, that's right. How are they? I don't know.

That was great. We spent time in Arizona and we did that whole thing. Then I brought him back here to L.A. The problem is when people come into town, you have to do things all the time. There isn't a day that's off. I bet you all your hard work with your parents, that they're grateful?

Yeah, they are. At night, they think to himself, what a great son that we have. I hope so. Yeah, and we're grateful for his effort. I hope so. Yeah, we love him for him playing ahead, right? And all the things that our son does for us.

And we're willing to do anything to make our son happy. And then the very next day they called because they couldn't log into Apple TV and we yelled at each other on the phone for 15 minutes. Yeah, exactly. He's like, why can't I type my fucking name in the goddamn Apple TV? Is that what your dad did?

Yeah, and then I had to FaceTime. I had to FaceTime with my mom so I could watch what he was typing and he incorrectly put the password in three times and instead of just doing backspace, he cleared it every time. So he had to redo it every fucking time. Wow.

Lovely people. Yeah. I love him so much. So, you know. But the stress of family is hard. It's hard. It's hard. Is it not hard?

Is it not hard? No. Yeah, yeah. For me, it is. It's a wait. I'll clean the towels. Yeah, that's not what I was saying. That's not what I was saying.

I'll clean your room. You haven't cleaned it yet? Not yet. I told you to clean it. Because we had to go here. Yeah, we had to come here. Oh, yeah, that's right. Well, we didn't give fancy any air time whatsoever.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Let's talk about fancy. Can I just say, I'll be honest with you. I swear to God, on my mother's life. On her left half, because you can hear. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. My mother's right here.

Yeah. Okay. Yeah. All right. When I was on the boat, some guy pulled me aside. He goes, you know what makes the show? And I go, me and Andrew? And he goes, no, fancy.

He's right. He goes, he makes the show. He's the buying. He's the adhesive. Without that, I don't think of... Carlos or McCone? Never mentioned their names. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I swear...

To God, that's what he said to me. Mm-hmm. All right. What'd you say? Best middleman. Best middleman. Best middleman. I don't even know.

He said best middleman. Yeah, but I just don't... Say it again? Best middleman. No, say it again. Best middle... Best middle... Okay, good.

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