Bad Friends - Bobby's Existential Crisis

Episode Date: January 18, 2021

Thank You to our Sponsors: https://betterhelp.com/badfriends & http://liquidiv.com code: badfriends & http://upstart.com/badfriends & http://shipstation.com code: badfriends Subscribe to our YouTube: http://bit.ly/BadFriendsYouTube 0:00 Subscribe! 3:30 James Earl Jones & Samuel L. Jackson's First Movies 7:58 The Leftovers Debate 12:45 101 Cafe Memories & Meeting David Cho 14:50 TigerBelly Origins 18:15 Worst Auditions: Our Friends This Time 26:05 Andrew vs Shia LeBeouf 32:16 Bobby is Andrew This Year 36:50 The MADtv Wave 45:02 DMX vs Sling Shot 1:01:15 The Creepy Mouth Debate 1:03:46 The Crisis More Bobby Lee TigerBelly: https://www.youtube.com/tigerbelly Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bobbyleelive/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/bobbyleelive Tickets: https://bobbyleelive.com/ More Andrew Santino Whiskey Ginger: https://www.youtube.com/andrewsantinowhiskeyginger Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino/ Twitter: https://Twitter.com/cheetosantino Tickets: http://www.andrewsantino.com/ More Bad Friends iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-friends/id1496265971 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/badfriendspod/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/badfriends_pod Official Website: http://badfriendspod.com/ Opening Credits and Branding: https://www.instagram.com/joseph_faria & https://www.instagram.com/jenna_sunday Credit Sequence Music: http://bit.ly/RocomMusic // https://www.instagram.com/rocom Character Design: https://www.instagram.com/jeffreymyles Produced by George Kimmel & Bryce Hallock - 7EQUIS Podcast Producers: Jenna Sunde, Joe Faria, Andrés Rosende Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Anchor if you haven't heard about anchor It's the easiest way to make a podcast. Let me explain. Oh, please It's free. Awesome. That's cool These are there are creation tools that allow you to record and edit your podcast right from your phone or your computer You do it from your phone like on the go. Oh my god That's cool the bus or the subway you can do it. That's cool Anchor will distribute your podcast for you so it can be heard on Spotify Apple podcast and many many many many many many more You can make money from your podcast too. No minimum listenership. How about that? You can make money with no minimum listenership

It's everything you need to make a podcast all in one place. Where do we have to go Bob? Download the free anchor app or go to anchor.fm to get started Hey, hey, hi. Hello, please please to support our podcast Please subscribe and click the bottom buttons alone hit the subscribe and then notification So you know when we post but when do we post Bob every time we post well only once a week What day what day do we post? Monday Monday's but click the bottom part of also comment on Podcasts Apple podcast join the patreon leave a review. We're doing this. We're doing this because George asked us to

No, we don't have a patreon Please subscribe do it Bad friends Welcome back to the double black play jam. I'm here with Rudy and Bobby Lee Rudy Rudy Rudy didn't talk at all at all last episode. Yeah, you know why cuz you brought in a dog And she had to control the dog who's whining the poor pup was whining and crying the whole time. I know we have The whole house right now is um dogs animal farm. It's an animal farm. It's driving me crazy Are you fine? How many parking parking parking parking parking parking? How many are you fostering you right now?

Look very Mormon your hair very Christian very religious me. I don't like it. I'd really yeah your hair I don't like it. It looks too too. You look so like you know knock knock knock. Yeah Would you like to hear about Jehovah? Can I tell you about Jesus Christ? And I don't like it Can I tell you about Jesus tell me about him? He's the savior. I know he is. Let me tell you what he did for you What you know what can I say something about that is no one's ever tried to save me? Well, you're unsavable Why is that I've seen I've been walked through malls people look at you and they go can't save that guy There's no way to save you. You've got to I can't be saved. No, I want to be try try

They're not gonna. I want to be safe. I have a soul. Mmm. Save me, baby. Look you're safe. You've already saved yourself No, but I what you went to rehab you already saved yourself No, but I just and they can smell that strangers look at me like if I'm like one time I was in San Antonio Yeah, and there was a man handing off pamphlets and you know little pamphlets Yeah, you know, right and I and I was walking by and people are getting pamphlets from him Yeah, but the Lord Jesus and I took my hand out and he didn't do nothing. Yeah, no pamphlet He was not gonna help with you. Why I don't know That's like the guys in Vegas the Mexican guys that hit the hooker cards, you know, yeah

Yeah, I never get them from them. They don't they think I'm not or like star maps people Oh, yeah, our maps people they never try to get me a map Do you know how fun this would be if me and you pretended to know star map? We should do a fake star maps when when when pandy's over yeah and take people to houses that aren't real Can I say something? Why would I care where Marlon Brando lives? Dude, you're you you've lived in Southern, California your whole life, right? But who you live in now where Marlon Brando explain that you drive by his house and go. Oh, there he is People people take cemetery. What do you say? You fucking goon? You fucking European goon shut your fucking mouth

What did he say the cemetery? I don't know the cemetery. He's dead Marlon Brando. He's not dead Oh, that's not he's not dead. Yeah, one of the greatest actors of our generation You know, I found out what I was watching coming to America tonight The part two part one. Oh, no the original But it some of the jokes are so bad. You're like some of this is not funny It's so funny cuz some of it's really funny. Yeah, and some of it's just not funny sexual chalk. It's funny Hilarious sexual chocolate, but then when they go looking for girls at the beginning. Oh, yeah, it's not funny It's not funny. You're just like and because the one girl is like lighting her hand on fire and she's like

You know, I'm possessed by the devil. Yeah, and they're like next and you're like what it's it was some of it's not Some of it when Eddie's doing the characters. It's the best Yeah, the whole movie should have been him interacting with himself all the time, right? Like every stranger should have been an Eddie Murphy character. It's also funny that movie There's one guy that that didn't have a very big scene and at the time He didn't know that he'd be a bigger star than all of them. Arsenio Hall. No, no, who Samuel Jackson? I isn't that's crazy. Isn't that crazy? Yeah, that is because he played the crack addict in the crackhead Yeah at the McDonald's or something McDonald's. Yeah, right. Yeah, he goes crazy, right? Yes

And he probably at the time, right? God damn. I got fucking again. Well lines again again Yeah, and then all of a sudden like he owns the world Well, it's the same thing with that what Chris Rock in that in that movie. Oh, that was great when you put the crack Yeah, what why can't I think of the movie with that? He was pretty good in that when he goes that I got changed. Well, honey. Yeah, that was really good. Yeah What lips were all I remember watching it. I call Ashley and yeah and cracked out Yeah, cuz the guy goes, uh, how much for how just how much of just one re-up? Yeah Yeah, yeah, and he goes got changed. Well, honey, he's like you grew up watching black films, huh? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah

Anyway, no, I was gonna say I was watching I was watching watching the movie and James Earl Jones You know who plays his father? Yeah, King Kofi Kanan, whatever his name is Yeah, I was like, is he still alive and I bet my old lady cash. Do you think he's still alive or not? Yes or no? Oh, he's still alive. Well, you're taking word. I'm not gonna say I'm not gonna tell you until everybody answers of what they think Wait, so what what part is it again? I didn't wasn't listening. What? I I wasn't listening. Is James Earl. We made a bet if James Earl Joel was still alive. James Earl Jones is alive So you you think so or you know so? To me he is. Okay. Do you think he's still alive or he's dead? He doesn't know who he is. I know that's the best part

Okay, great, what do you think George? Dad, what do you think Andres? He's alive. He is alive. I know he's alive. Andres get off your phone He's cheating. Do you know why I know he's alive because you just worked with him recently. No, that's not what? Yes, I would never work with him. Really? Yeah, you would never work with him. They would never put me in anything with him And that's the right way to say it. That's what I wanted to say. Yeah, you said it came out weird It came out weird. You said I would never know but he I'm such a huge James Earl Jones, you know what also movie he was in that no one's not even aware of he's the voice of Lion King He's the voice of the father and I understand that he's also Darth Vader. Yes. Yeah, of course

Everybody knows that because another thing that he was the people don't know what he was in the movie. Um, dr. Strange love as What he was in the airplane in the beginning of the movie like he was one of like the pilots You know, he's one of the guys in the pilot. Yeah, he was yeah He's yeah, here's another thing. I have to try another thing that people don't know Huh, go ahead. Keep talking. I don't realize that Laura's fish Lawrence finish burn. Yeah was in apocalypse now No, I think people I think people do know that I Think people do know that no James Earl Jones. Yeah in Dr. Strange in Dr. Strange love Wow well came up So fast. Oh

Right. No, don't go right all of a sudden. I don't know where right I said he was the I said the pilot Look at this. Look at this guy. This is Rick glass. Rick glass a better Rick last man. Yeah Here we go. Hold on Music We probably can't huh when the funniest movies ever made I think Dr. Strange love. Yeah, I left so hard in this movie Look at how bad that plane CGI is He'll come up in a second. Which one is he? He's not the white guy. Obviously you fuck. What do you mean? He's not white I'm I'm flying one line you put there. There he is. There he is. There he is. That was it. That was him

So now he was a pilot. I said he was one of the little he is in the movie Yeah, and I still watching it, you know went there's James Earl Jones. He's so talented. He's everything He and yes, of course, I watch black films. Did you watch all the black films when you were kid? What he sounds like when you're making love when he comes. Oh, yeah. What if when he comes he goes? Yeah, he gets real high Oh Dark side dark side Welcome to the dark You think he says that I don't know when he shoots

Anyway, look I watched I watched curl coming to America Yoda coming Would be weird. What would he say? I don't I don't know No, you will be I don't know what he would say, but am I just yeah, but he came I just yeah, but I think His his calm would be like a little piece of sea would come out if I feel like I feel like a little him comes out of his penis Wouldn't be a little like a little baby Yoda Like a little Yoda comes out like more liquid form. Yeah, it's more. Yeah, it's more goopy. Yeah, right almost bodyless But you could see the little bonus bonus. Yeah. Oh bonus my bonus Yoda my bad You're boneless. Yeah, it's late and I sometimes that's okay

Do you like boneless wings or do you like bone in wings when you eat chicken wings? Yeah, I don't I don't like the bone the reason why I don't like bone is because um I don't eat I don't eat it right and kalilah and this fucking piece of shit right here. Hey, hey be nice. It's a new year What'd I get you for christmas the came? Um the rug anime rug. Yeah, we heard the rug. Yeah, I got your rug. Anyway, um Whenever I eat bone The bone right bone wings wings with bone well anything with bone like a bone same bone a bone

ribs the bones Kalilah's cup. Yeah, you're you're you're white privilege the way you eat that What does that even mean because I don't eat like the cartilage and you know, I mean You eat like a white guy eat part of the bone part, you know, I mean crunch on the fucking I'm on your to ligament I don't need to eat that. It's like I eat all the meat parts. You fucking animal. Yeah, you animal savage Yeah, you're not, you know, it's like when we eat fish with my mom She eats eat the brain and the eyes and yeah, I just eat the body Eat the body. Yeah

But they do say the other stuff has the most protein and nutrients in it Good call, dude, you know, so I eat all of it. Don't you? Yeah savage savage savage Yeah, they eat um and then it's like this animal right here I because every night I order um postmates. No, I know sometimes I go to play good places or sometimes grub hub All the time grub What is it? It was a joke guys. So what you know you order food every night Right, so I'll go to like, um

I'll go you know what tonight. I'll go to Morton's Something like that Is that how often you get Morton's Every other week. Maybe it's you like steak cold It's not that it's just the idea that I can It could money-wise I just do Yeah, yeah, you flex a little yeah on who on Calyla and Rudy. Oh, you know, yeah, do you ever do she ever pay for Delivery, but I'll always go. What do you want? She goes? I she goes. Don't worry about it. I'll eat my own

You'll eat your own. What and I'll go. What will you eat leftovers? We have leftover food like something like we'll get like Two months ago. So Vietnamese guy will randomly come over. He's not even Who's this guy? We're gonna get this guy. I think Calyla's friend. He's white. He's white. It seems you think he's Vietnamese Yeah, he'll come over and go. Hey, here you go and give us this is a restaurant by my house I bought you food And I'll take two bites just to be courteous, right? Yeah, and then I'll just put it in the fridge And then she'll eat it two months later like an animal

Not two months. How long? Two weeks. Two weeks is fine. I think it's two weeks. Dude. I think food in the fridge can last a couple of weeks What kind of meat? It's cooked, right? Yeah, it's like no not two weeks. What kind of food is there to what food is it anything? She'll eat anything that's like, yeah They survive dude, but I'm like all for her good food like anything You know what I mean? She won't take it. She's like no, I don't want it and then like yesterday asked her She said I don't want it. I find I got my and then later I come downstairs

And she's like in the corner, you know, she eats like in a corner for some reason covered up She just has this like hunchy thing She's a hunchy thing, right? And she you know, and she also sits on the chair like this Does she really get like a gargoyle? She's like a gargoyle and she sits right there and she so when you walk into room her back's turned It's always dim light dude. You're a horror movie. Yeah. It's like a dim light, right? It's a horror movie Eating something I got what the fuck is she eating, right? And I go what are you eating? She goes

I got McDonald's I go but I an hour ago, you know what I mean? I was gonna order you better something better. Yeah. No, she got McDonald's She got her on her own. I don't think you'd like Taking things from me Like you think that I'm gonna like hold it over you for some reason No, if I'm gonna order food for myself. I don't I'll like I'll order for everybody. Yeah Right. Don't be like a fucking gargoyle. I'm not what did you get for McDonald's? A fried chicken burger ice cream and nuggets a fried chicken bird. You mean a chicken sandwich?

Yeah So you get fried chicken sandwich nuggets and ice cream. What kind of ice cream the chocolate sundae They're pretty good. No, they're so good. I know McDonald's though the breakfast. I can't give it up the Wendy's Was it the freeze? Was it that freeze? Oh the oh the oh the frosty I forgot about it. Fuck me. I'll eat it right now. Suck it. Suck it right now. Suck it right now. Oh, did you hear 101 cafe closed down? Permanently forever never coming back good that you know, it's so funny Everyone was being like sweet online like oh man. I used to go hang out there all the time I mean we would go after shows. Yeah, but like

I was also like it was the most expensive diner I ever went to it was like nine bucks for eggs No, but you know what you're right. I have good memories there. Yeah, there's some memories I've had so that's where I'm at David Cho Oh Really? Yeah, I was sitting there. He was a cook there, huh? David Cho was cooking at 101 cafe. That's David Chang you're thinking same guy. No David Chang is the fucking chef David chose the artist the artists are chefs. I know But did you get them confused? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't I just don't pay attention to Asians and also Asian and artists. That's an oxymoron multi-million dollar

Um artist. There's a lot of Asians that are multi-millionaires David Cho street artist Oh, I do know who this is. Yeah, you do. No. Yeah, I do know who that is. Anyway, but I like David Chang better David Cho I was I see this guy and he's dressed like a um A warlock and it's not halloween He's literally dressed like a warlock walking down in the 101 cafe late at night And I can tell when they're Korean Well, you guys can smell each other, right? Isn't there like a there's got to be something that gives you an indication Everything you say. No. No. I mean like you guys get internally like I know when there's another like you think I smell like leechy fruit

No, you have an internal thing that you have this pudgy kind of face that I had a look that I like Yeah, I mean, so I go and he sat next to me Just sat right. Oh, you were up at the singles. Yeah, you know, I'm the artist you go David Cho I go, yeah, yeah, and he goes you're comedian, right? Yeah, and then I Then he goes, I have a podcast with Asa Akira the porn star porn star. Yeah, and so Kalyla and I did it and that's how we started Tiger Belly That was the beginning. Yeah, because we we were regular on David Cho's podcast and then it was called DVD ASA and they um They one day just decided not to do it anymore and then me and Kalyla went let's just start our own

How long did yeah you and we grabbed a little bit of their audience Because well, that makes sense because it was a Korean and a porn star and you're a Korean and Kalyla's a porn star I understand that that transition makes sense. You picked up where they left off when you attack my my family Shut up. Don't roll your eyes and the way you roll your eyes is so fucking It's so like um 80s drama You I can't even do what you do you roll both of them up and you I can't even do it It's like, you know, it's your eyes don't go that way. Your eyes don't go up that way. No, it's just dumb This is why privilege because it's so obvious. You're this is this is why privilege. Um, yeah, I hate it. I hate it

Um, that's wild that david show had a podcast with how long did they do it for? They did a lot Why asa kira? I wonder Because they're friends and did she still do porn She's a film I think but she has a kid now and she lives in a different state You know, there was a comic that dated A porn star. I don't want to say her name um

And she stopped doing porn for a long time and I just saw online You know when your twitter's like suggestions of people that you're friends with that friend Yeah, and I suggested her again, and she's doing porn again I really am always interested in why they go back Because once you quit don't you think you've got to get out like that's kind of like You don't go back into the arena. I feel like once you're done, you're done Yeah, once you quit porn, it'd be hard to be like I want to come back. There was a comic named thomas award Thomas Ward, you know, you never knew him. No, this is before your time. Yeah, and I did open mics with thomas, right?

And then, um, you know, he he looked just like bill cosby In fact, yeah, he did, um Some parody bill cosby porn You know how they say, you know, I mean, yeah, yeah, yeah, and then it's like he played cosby. Yeah And so I was yeah, yeah So I'd be at the porn store and I would see him on the cover Of this parody porn bill cosby thing and in my head, right? I'm like Oh, he's just doing comedy like he's doing an impression

In the porno? You think he was like a comedian not in porn? No, he's playing bill cosby in a porno where everyone else is fucking in the porno Oh, you think he's not having sex? But he's not, you know, I mean in it. He's a comic. No, he's in it. He's in it. Yeah He's in it and um, I remember going pretty good. He was good, huh? Yeah, I remember going You know, because sometimes you dread it. Yeah, even if I see like a comic in a movie or a tv show That didn't think it was an actor and I get relieved like oh, they're pretty good. Like nick use I was on a show called animal practice And um with the monkey with the monkey and nick and nick usesef got a part in it I think I helped him with the audition or whatever. Okay, but he I didn't couldn't believe they hired him

Like I remember the cast went they're going Oh, yeah, we hired that guy nick. What do you mean because he did a bad job? I don't know. I never knew him as an actor I just knew him as a comic, right? Oh, yeah So I remember being on set right and I know he was his scene was after the one of the scenes I was in so I got to start to stay and I was behind the monitor, right? And as soon as he opened his mouth, I just left Why because I'm like, oh He knows what he's doing. Oh, right. You were worried at first. I was worried at first

But he knew what he was doing and I was like, all right, did you think it was going to reflect badly on you? No, because you didn't get him the role I I did give I'm gonna name its name because he hates me But I did get one guy. So there's one guy that asked me. Please say his name. I can't please There's a war and he wants to murder me. All right. We'll look at me right now say it and we'll bleep it out. Go Okay, you know him. Yeah, what do you do? What do you do? For the why he's mad at me. Yeah, no, I don't want to get I don't want to read we do that All right, we'll go ahead. Well then talk about it again. Don't don't don't don't roll your eyes again

Your 80s fucking that's my white privilege. Yeah See you on the slopes Oh Really good. Thanks So, um, I go I was on mad tv and I go, um You know be great for this part someone saw I said the casting director the guy. Yeah, she goes. Yeah, I don't know him I'll I'll call him. He'll come in And I go I'll sit in the room with him. I was like when he's auditioning. I'll just be in the room, right?

So, um, I sit next to uh, the casting director And it was a piece of you have a piece of paper. Yeah, so like I'm sitting there He comes in as soon as he walks in I went in my mind. I'm like, uh, oh Why because of his vibe? No, he was just just Devastating nervousness. Oh, he was obviously. Yeah. Yeah, like he was like His face was going He was so nervous, right? And and I was just like I was just like Holy fuck, right? Why were you in there? Because well, he's my friend. I was see once and we'll see him on this

See, that's where the casting director should have made you leave. I know I should have been there. No, that's I regret it. I regret it. I'll cover. I'll go comfortable. Yeah. Yeah. I did Anyway, so I go, all right. Well, let's I just wanted to get it over with all right Let's just go right and he picks up the script like this right the sides, right? I'll always be off-booked by the way. Yeah. Yeah, I always have it, but I have memorized sure and he does this He's so nervous. He's so nervous. He's thinking it's going like this right you can hear it. Yeah. Yeah, and I mean normally likes a cast of drew would be like

Okay, thank you, right or you want to go on and prepare or something right there would say I just want to keep going. Let's do it. Let's finish Right, let's finish it. I want to get rid of them and it just got worse and worse and worse and he couldn't get a word out Right, and we're up there probably 45 minutes Because I want to get something on tape wait, so you kept trying. Yeah, we kept trying and he's just Sweating, you know, I mean just shaking. Can we call him? No, no He hates me and then I and then I called him and then I told him I think I go I'm such a piece of shit. I go

You didn't we're gonna go I said I said we're gonna go with it in a different direction Right, but you almost got it dude. So mean. Yeah. That's so mean. Really? Yeah Yeah, it was just it was you. Yeah, it's just that yeah Because we know the other act actress in it and I just you know, I don't think the chemistry is right But it's not you personally. Yeah, it was just no, you know, it is the vibe. It was just yeah, didn't work this time Better help. Oh god. Golly. Gee mighty. Oh me. Hey, is something interfering with your happiness, bob? Because because there was let me tell you something right now man the pandemic. Oh golly golly golly

It's got me down. They got me down and you know what saved my life better help. Yeah, you start communicating in under 48 hours It's great. It's not a crisis. It really has helped me. It saved my life. I love my therapist through there Um, you can start communicating under 48 hours as you said it did. Um, but it's not a crisis line I don't know if you know that I did say that it's not self-help either. No. Yeah, it's not professional counseling done securely on the line there's a broad range of expertise and All jokes aside bob and I both use this we both highly recommend it I think therapy is extremely important for everybody to use we could all use some some of us me could use more than others Uh, they're committed to facilitating great therapy. They match you up. They match you up with the right person. Yeah, it's great

Yeah, and and by the way, it's a lot cheaper. I've gone to multiple different very varying levels of therapy It's significantly more affordable than the traditional version, right? The other one is a little pricey Too pricey for my problem. Yeah, they want to start. They want you to start living a happier life today Bobo and I want you to be happy during a tough time visit their website read the testimonials from tons of people at betterhelp.com slash reviews Uh, but go to betterhelp.com slash bad friends that help hlp join the other a million people who have taken charge of their mental health With the help of an experienced professional, right bob? Yeah, all right. Give them the special offer. What is it? We're giving them a special offer is to bad friends listeners get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com slash bad friends

That's right for our bad friends listening 10% off first month betterhelp.com slash bad friends liquid ivy. Hey, guess what? What season's it changing? Yeah, the leaves are falling and uh, we all uh, we all need to make adjustments in our lives You know what? I don't know about that. I all all I know is is that um, I love liquid ivy Yeah, it's good because I love the taste of it, right? I know I'm getting the electrolytes and all the things that I need hydration Hydration I like also like the sleeping one that they have the sleeping one is phenomenal It really helped me So you like you like to sleep you like to sleep liquid ivy because it does uh get you calm down at night It sure does I like the immunity booster

I want all the all the vita vita vegamins Uh, the flu season is uh upon us I guess you guys and make sure you have liquid ivy to help support your immune system with increased hydration and essential Vitamins my friend their best-selling hydration multiplier now has three flavors. Can I say can I say the flavors? Yeah, they're good Okay, go ahead guava. Yes watermelon. Yes, and my favorite apple pie. I was gonna say it. Okay. Say it apple pie I know it's your favorite. Yeah, I do love it too. It's actually really really good Uh, they come in these great little packs. It's convenient. I love the packs. Yeah, they're you can stick them in your pocket Yeah, uh, and you can do it on the go. They have five of essential vitamins vitamin c

Um, and they have uh much as much potassium as a banana So it's very good, man. This stuff is really good. If you never tried liquid ivy, you really should rooty likes it Don't you root? Yeah. Yeah, you bet she does Uh liquid ivy is available nationwide at walmart or in the beverage section You can get 25 percent off when you go to liquid ivy.com Liquid ivy is they they're they're they're they're good people. They are good people and they want to help the world The company has donated over 6.7 million Servings globally. That's a ton. That's a lot. They're donating stuff to hospitals first responders food banks veterans active military

Three million servings in total so far. Tell them the deal. Bob. What can they get a liquid ivy is available nationwide at walmart In the beverage section or you can get 25 off when you go to liquid ivy Dot com and use the code bad friends at checkout. Yep, that's 25 off anything Anything you order when you use the promo code bad friends at liquid ivy dot com Get better hydration today at liquid ivy dot com promo code bad friends I can't I can't say this guy's name because here we go He's a friend. He's a friend. He listens to this show. He's a friend. Yeah and uh

he was auditioning for a movie uh that A friend of ours was making and it was in one of those you ever go one of those audition rooms or those It's like a it's like a commercial office and it's a ton of rooms. It's like seven rooms and there's they're auditioning and like All of them right and most of the time they're closed off in their walled Well, this had it was glass it was like it's like an office you could see right into it And he's sitting there. He he does the audition and he kills. He's so fucking funny He's a super funny dude. Yeah, and then he gets up and he's like all right Well, thank you like he was so confident

He was so stoked that he killed he's like thank you and they were like thank you He's like take it easy and didn't turn and right into the glass In front of everybody Just smashes his face. Yeah, and then he's like up. Well up up up up. That must that would have got a laugh But it was like it was like a oh my god. Are you okay? Like it was loud. I would have to be I would have been like I would have died if I did that he he laughed okay good No, but I mean they were concerned. He hit it so hard right. He's also a big guy So it wasn't like boom. It was like

I mean he shook the fucking glass. Yeah, so they were like, oh dude. Are you okay? Yeah his face Blop is a pure red from hitting the window and any and you know what the worst part was? He didn't he didn't get No, it was it was just because that didn't it didn't work out, but he deserved to be in there He deserved to get be in it. It just it wasn't they weren't gonna have the role Have you ever walked into like the lobby of an audition and and thought Oh, I should just leave I mean almost every time I've done it. No, but you see who's in the room. Yeah, I'll give you one

I'm not gonna name the cast editor because she's famous and I've I've gone for her like one time And I'm talking like I'm going up against like actual famous people like very famous people. I have literally no chance Shia LaBeouf is there Oh, yeah, why am I there? Yeah. Yeah. Why literally why am I there? Yeah? Yeah. Yeah I see Shia LaBeouf outside smoking reading lines in the patio area If you know what I'm talking about, you know, and I have to go up a couple of stairs I'm nervous seeing Shia LaBeouf. Well, is this place though in um, let me just ask you this Just let me know. Is it in Santa Monica? Santa Monica area or is it in in Echo Park? No, Santa Monica. I know what it is. Yeah

That place is a nightmare. So I have to go up the stairs. That place is a nightmare. It is and you can see through the stairs You know stairs that have And I'm walking up the stairs and I see Shia LaBeouf and I'm kind of staring at him smoking. Yeah. Yeah The door is opening. Someone's leaving. I trip on the top stairs I'm not kidding. I trip on the top stair. Yeah, and in my mind. I'm like go back to your car. Go back to your car Go back to your car. I was like just leave. Yeah, just leave I want I did I was so they all saw me. Yeah, he looked up. He was smoking looked up like oh, is that Is that idiot red-headed guy? Okay. Yeah, and everyone looked at that. Oh my god. And I sat there like just I mean, you know

Dripping with sweat because you're just yeah, I'm so embarrassed I those feelings of I should have just gone and you know what I should have gone home. Yeah, of course. I didn't get it Of course. Why was I there? Yeah? You know, Wendy O'Brien. I love Wendy O'Brien one of the best. She's like in the business You know, she's put me in almost everything I've done. I've I've put me in Davey. Yeah, I've auditioned 50 things for her Yeah, not one thing if I've she's told me that Not one thing she told me that but she's the one person where I went. I'm not gonna get it right I'm gonna go in here. I'm gonna kill it and I'm not gonna get it

But I will go because I she's so nice because she's one of those people that she'll bring you in Yeah, because you deserve to be there. Yeah, but it's not her final call the casting directors don't have the final call I understand that but I'm not gonna get it. I I ask Kaila. Yeah, every time I get one from her. Yeah, we have to you have to drive what on san am I gonna boulevard? Yeah, off what yeah, well now she's uh, it's kind of industrial area. Yeah. Yeah. It's an industrial park Right. So whenever I park there and I go there are times where I've walked out of there and asked Kaila. I said I think I got it from Wendy. Yeah, didn't happen. Didn't that never happen. Let's give her a call. No, don't call her I'm gonna call her right now. Please don't I like her so much. Don't do it right now. It's late. Hello, Wendy

Yeah, Wendy. It's it's it's Santino as you know, you're on your look you're on my podcast and bobby wants to wants to ask you something Hi, bobby. Hi, Wendy. How are you? All right, I was just watching herald in kumar christmas. Oh my god residuals residuals for me for you in your pocket We were just saying that you're like one of the best casting directors in la and that we just love coming to see you That's all and what it no. What else did you say? Wendy? He needs to tell you something. Honestly. What would I say? He's a little upset that after all these years That he comes out to see you and then he can't book with you Is that no, that's not true. I have a picture of you with boobies

Dreamcorp you had nice a nice set of oh, yeah. I dreamcorp. I was so you did book with her. Yes. I did. So you lied You lied to our fans. Okay. Oh, can I just say this though? Yeah. All right Um, number one. I didn't know that you were going to call Wendy. I know that's why I was watching. Yeah, you are I'm partly kind of because I love Wendy so much. I'm partly angry at you. Good. Good. Good. I'm like rageful almost Right. Yeah, but also embarrassed. Yep. Yep. And so right now. I'm going to say thank you so much for dreamcorp Wendy I will read for you as many times as you want me to read. I love your fucking. I love you so much you know, I love you and Wendy what he said was we but we talked about you and he said how much he really enjoyed you

And he was like, I love her. I'll read for her no matter what that truth. Truthfully. That's what that's what he said He said no matter what I go and I said, she's my favorite and I said, well, why don't we give her a call and you can tell her How you feel? I love it. I literally was just like watching you. It was last no two nights ago. It came on. I'd never seen I need the hero can come on so far, but uh, there you are and I only stayed watching it because it's just being with you in the office and then See, thank you. And I was like, that's so good. You look so good in the film He looks so good. You're so good. See? Thank you. Thank you so much. Wendy. And I gotta tell you something um, Wendy

is uh, Wendy's gonna be casting something huge and she said they need Asians for it. So I think You might be in it. Wendy. I'll let you go. We love you. I love you very much. Okay. Bye guys Number one Take the jacket off it's getting warm in here anyway Yeah Honestly, honestly, honestly, no, let me finish. She loves you. Let me do it. No, no, no, honestly, honestly, but tell the story No, I'm not gonna tell the story

Okay, um Rudy what's been going on with you lately? I'm fine. You're fine because you're acting a little bit weird. You've been coming here acting really weird Huh? Yeah, your vibe is strange No, I'm doing good. You're doing very good. Yeah All right, we're gonna catch up with you in a second. Hold on. Bob, you ready? Yeah, say what you need to say. I was ready. I was ready. Go ahead. Um So and I'm gonna just be completely

Truthful with you. Yeah, Rudy, you remember that guy that you were that you were saying you were gonna go on a date with Yeah, what happened with that? I ignored him. Smart. Smart girl. All right, Bob, go ahead Go ahead. Bye. Bye You you honestly Please don't do that again Talk to Rudy. Yeah, why she's my fave because I was literally in a rage

I know i'm calming you down. I was in a rage. I know and that's not helping You're trying to be me this year this year. You're gonna be me. I'm gonna be you that was feet putting more fuel on the fire I got it and I almost snapped relax, but don't do that again relax So tell go ahead get it out But don't do that again As someone who's been doing comedy for 30 years Do not do that again when you say don't what am I supposed to do? If you do it again in comedy this long when you say don't do it again

If you do it again, yeah, I'm gonna leave. Yeah, okay, and then you'll have to come back and you'll rise again Yeah, white privilege. Yeah, all right Okay Fucking say it Bro, you do this is good. You're broke. You're me this year and i'm you this year Bro, what you broke my stomach is bubbling so bad. I don't give a fuck because I have bubble guts today Yeah, yeah, let me say something. You are on my last fucking nerve right now It's

driving me crazy with your fucking attitude man Yeah, you know, I've dealt with your bullshit for a fucking year now you bullshit everything you do I'm fucking pure and simple dude. Good guy. Okay I'm pure and simple a good guy. What happened today that you got in such a bad I don't even know if it doesn't matter. You know when people wake up and it's just a fucking bad day Your life is great. What I know it is. I just had a bad day. Tell me what happened Right, but what I'm just saying is is that I get in the car. I drive here We're oh first of all our food comes at seven fucking 50, right?

Because it's two hours late, right? It's cold because it's outside. You know, I mean all my shit soggy Let me don't keep that face Wipe that face off your face man. Keep that face. Keep that face on your face Let's go down and get it. It doesn't come up for another 20 minutes. And then so then it's now seven She's rolled her eyes seven fifty. I'm like if we don't get in the car right now Andrew's gonna be mad at me because we're late. Let me see you roll your eyes. Oh, it's bad. Do it. Try it Yeah, that was yeah, that was good. So um, we're late, right? Yeah, you're saying I'm gonna be late We're gonna be late. So I couldn't really even eat the food because I was really getting late

What about ordering the food earlier? We did we ordered at six your food didn't get there for an hour 45 minutes Because it's out from the other side of town. It was a lot big order right came back soggy. Oh, good. And so then I um In the car I come here And I'm like I was doing like You know just you know Just be mindful of Andrew be nice and yeah, and then I come in here And the rage and that is still there, but then it's like you with your it started with your eyes rolling back in the back of your head that That was like fucking, you know

Oh Nagging me. Yeah, it was yeah, it was just like Here's how good of a day you had you woke up late in the day you sat around and played video games Then you ordered food never played video games one time not today. No, wow. That's why you're pissed off And that's not why why are you mad then? What could have happened today? Wait, you know remember the the time that you got all dizzy and you fucking hit your head on the thing Remember that pussy move that you did. Oh, I can't fuck. You know, I mean like that gave you shit about that

Yeah, you did I know but my point is no that is the point. No, but the point is is that we have weird days where we No, that wasn't a weird day and we go. Oh, I'm dizzy. We hit our head on the fucking thing So did you hit your head on no, I'm just saying we just had you know, so today was something had been the catalyst today Was my dizzy had day. Yeah, but had a catalyst Something was a catalyst nothing was the catalyst we I I you know Because when you say I had a bad day we were watching a I woke up and she was watching Some it wasn't Love Island, but was some sort of MTV show where a bunch of fucking

reality kids are in an island On Hawaii. No, just listen right and they're like trying to match up with each other love island. It's not love islands It's American. Oh, it was that temperature and then you know I was watching it. I did watch five episodes of it Oh, that made you mad. I don't know. I was just watching it and I was just kind of go I didn't know what because it wasn't the first episode. It was like I saw it episode four on Right, so I don't know who's with what and I don't know why the show was on I don't know why there's interest

Right, and I just see a bunch of young good-looking people. Yeah, you mean go you're going, you know I don't know if Johnny likes me, but I'm gonna fuck his friend Billy. You know, I mean and then Billy's just like yeah Yeah, fuck fucking Savannah, but you know what dude. It's like I don't really like her, you know Oh, Margot's my girl. Yeah. Yeah, and it's like all of this going on and I'm watching Just hours of it, right and inside. I'm like I want to Kill everyone on this island, but you couldn't stop watching it. I couldn't stop watching it and then it was like In my early 20s, I would never you know who'd be asked to be on that show In your comic the ovan. He was on rea. We're I know we can't mention that. He hates it

He's a little snap. We cannot bring that up. Why he's not here Oh, yeah, yeah One time he told me he goes, yo man, don't talk about it anymore talk about that again Well, because you said it on a podcast with no, I brought it off that way Oh, you brought him on stage. Oh, right. I think you've told me this story. He got pissed off road rules Yeah, and he just didn't like it right so um, but dude everyone has a terrible thing in their past that they I know so what I know Most of the things I've done on that tv i'm embarrassed about sometimes people used to bring me up to punked

All right, like last year. I was like what it was a decade ago clubs still brigo from mad tv It's like I did that fucking 12 15 years ago. You think some kids don't know what that is Do you think like I know I don't want them to know you really don't want but you I don't it's you know See it's something you should be proud of because you were good on it. No, it's not that though Listen, I'm I was on a show for eight years. They're like a family to me And and it was my first, you know television experience. It was cool. But you want to move forward No, it's just and also it's like I didn't um, I never really I couldn't like why ride that wave It wasn't a wave you could ride. Yeah

You know some people get like, you know a big thing and they can ride it into something else I couldn't I almost had to go back on the beach Get a new board and then swim back out Yeah, but but it's also because you're not your priority was always like being funny and not marketing is not You don't do that thing I don't know how to do that. No, I'm just kind of just I'm not great at it either. It's really hard to do I'm just using um, I you know, Bobby Lee is the

Is my franchise, you know selling this I mean, it's what it's selling like hotcakes right now I'm just this is what I'm selling. So my point is I was watching this fucking a bunch of fucking hot people black and mexican Ew, you know, you know, people, you know, I mean and they get to go do free They do free fucks Right, they drink and they fuck and they party they get free fucks and in my 20s I had to pay for it grovel, right? Right. I was never invited to the party. So this is just jealousy And I watched hours of it and I think maybe that's what it is. Yeah, yeah, I do agree with you

I think it's because it's like a food and nobody listens to me. Go get the food and you know look at her face Look at her face You mean I get you a rug and I bring you a big dog. I'll let everybody see your cool shirt your uh, your Hunter hunter hunter shirt. Who gave you that did the Bobby? Interesting very interesting. That's a very interesting fact actually very interesting. What did you say when he gave it to you? I said, thank you. I really love it. Did you give him a big hug? A little hug. Yeah. Yeah, you don't like hugs from her. Do you know? I do like hugs from her. Let me ask you this

Jules When I when I sometimes I'll go hug And what do you say? No, no because he chokes me Oh, what that's that that makes perfect sense choked you before in your life. No, I think we're figuring something out here I've choked you. Yeah, when when did I choke you? Last week last week. I put my hands around your neck and I choked you you could choke from the side You don't need to do yeah, that's a hug choke hug choke. Look at the way you're doing it choke

That's a choke. Yeah, but you this is Pause pause. Look at your your body figure. Her head's here. This is a choke form. This is her head is right here choke And I'm hugging her. You think her head is here. Yeah, her little head right here No, no, no her head her head's here and I'm hug like that strong hug I yeah, I love you choke. Yeah. Yeah So it hurts is what she's saying when you hug her sometimes. It doesn't hurt. She's a delicate little girl. You should see what I do to her mom I beat the shit out of her mom. I farted her mom's face when she's sleeping. I don't give a fuck Why do you do that to her mom?

Fuck honey. That's his mom. Her mom. I know. Yeah, yeah I have a video on my instagram where she's sleeping on her mom Right is sleeping on my couch in my hotel room, right? I own you fart on her. I take out the hole That's so gross from the tap Right and I fucking you know Unload one on her. You're so that's so mean Upstart There's a lot of economic chatter right now about the state of the market

Yeah, is it recovering how long will it take? Have you seen the worst? If you're struggling to pay off high interest credit card debt, you can't wait for those answers You need to take action now with upstart. There's actually something you can do today to fight off high interest credit card debt Upstart is the revolutionary online lending platform that knows you're more than just a credit score You are more than just a credit score upstart can reward you based on your job history in the form of a smarter rate Skip going to the bank because it's completely online. They offer loans from a thousand to fifty thousand Dollars you can get two or three of bobby's couches for that You can consolidate your debt into one easy fixed rate payment makes it fast simple to check your rate

It's just a soft pull won't affect your credit score Um, the hard pull happens if you accept the rate and proceed with your application Look if the loan is approved and accepted most people get their funds the next business day How many people have tried to use offstart? How many people have used it over 500 000 people have used upstart to pay off credit cards Or meet their financial goal for yourself and the burden to have a high interest credit card debt and get back using your money The right way with upstart you guys go ahead. See why upstart has 6500 reviews on trust pilot and hurry to upstart.com slash bad friends to find out how low your upstart rate can be Checking your rate only takes a few minutes. That's upstart.com slash bad friends

Your loan amount will be determined based on your credit income and certain other information provided on your loan application Not all applicants will qualify for the full amount go to upstart.com slash bad friends ship station Oh jolly gee jolly, you gosh do just do ship stuff online You know, it's like, you know, we without ship station. We wouldn't get any of our merchandise out. Nobody would get any of it We love this company so much. Yeah, they're phenomenal The number one company in the world when it comes to stuff like to online selling They sure are super easy to manage and ship all your orders from one simple place

It's faster cheaper and more efficient. Trust me. We love it. We use it They are great. It's so easy and they work with who? Who did they work with no matter what you're selling andrew? Yeah, or amazon edsie and your own website ship station brings all your orders into one simple Interface yeah making them really easy to manage from the device even from your cell phone That's right. They work with all the major carriers. Who are they bob? Who did they work with they work with um usps Yeah, let me read it usps man FedEx UPS so you can compare and choose the best shipping solution for you and your customers There's a good reason ship station number one choice of online sellers ship more and less time with some of the best rates available

Any where bob and I use it. We love it. You should if you're selling anything. There's a good reason why ship station is number one choice of all my sellers ship more and less time and some of the best Rates available anywhere. I couldn't agree more get 2021 off to a great start by going to shipstation.com Use the offer code bad friends to get a 60 day free trial two months free. No hassle. No Stress stress free shipping. Just go to shipstation.com click that microphone at the top of the page type in Bad friends that shipstation.com enter offer code bad friends ship station make ship happen I fucking I decide

Because i'm a good guy I decide, you know what i'll take some of these fucking people. You know what i mean? These imigrantos Immigrantos imigrantos. I'm going to take them to the greatest place in the world Where is that? Disneyland, Texas Disneyland. Oh, yeah, right So you bring these, you know, imigrantos to Disneyland, right, right you buy the little Mickey Mouse ears that is as a mouse. Yeah. Yeah, you put the ears. Yeah, right you give them the What's that?

Flag the wand. Oh fishing wire. Let's take a oh, oh the wiki wand. The wand. Yeah, right, right You give You know boobs. No, no, you food food. Oh, you feed them. You feed it. You feed them. Yeah, you feed them You throw it at them. You're right. You don't give it to your mouth. Catch it with your mouth, right? Yeah So then we're you know, we're going and go hey, so let's go on space mountain No What right the imigrantos didn't want to go on space mountain. We don't do Yes, you do do you do do you do do when I bring you? Yeah, yeah

You do then we go to another ride. No scary We don't do tower of terror didn't want to do it. Oh that one. So now that's called what the guardians galaxy Yeah, right. Yeah, it's called gardens of galaxy now. They made it scarier that wait tower terror is gone Yeah, one of my favorite rides. They made it scary. It's now gardens of the galaxy guardians of the galaxy. It's scarier Really? Yeah, it's so fucking scary. Do people still die? I don't get a little night. No Wow, they just sat on the bench and watch this ride. What is that? Why? I did most of the rides. You did guardian again. It's a galaxy only gardens of the galaxy. Why didn't you do it? Yeah, what for I was really scared

Oh grow up Really? What could happen? Disney's a major corporation. You think they're gonna let you die or get hurt on that ride? No, but that's right. No one's gonna die So I told them I go I do think people die once at least once a year on those things. Yeah, but the odds Yeah, it's not gonna happen. But you know where I want to take them now next time they're in town not very farm Magic mountain. Oh, yeah, six flags, but they'll never go on any of that. No, I said no that you said you would I would yeah, you know, you won't No, those are way scarier than disneyland. Those are way bigger those things when you look at those things you're like, can I do it?

You know, you're in line. You're like, oh, what am I doing? Yeah, that's how scary they are No, they're freaking if they're yeah, then you don't even know how to get it. You got to put your ankles in a like little metal thing Well, this thing well, this is in the click like like like yeah, they lock you in but then also you start by flipping over sometimes Yeah, you're forward. Yeah, they go So we're starting I owe it. It's so freaking we all got to go. Wait. Don't make a face. What's that face? I'm scared. No, you got to go you again How many people die a year? No, I'm afraid. I'm gonna pee on my pants. Oh, seriously Yeah, in your pants are on

She takes her pants off and just pees on Approximately four deaths annually in the united states associated with roller coasters Although traumatic injuries resulting in the deaths of roller coasters patron tend to receive the word that's that's too much for my fucking blood I think four that's not that many people. How many rides are there though 20? This is well, this is only in the united states. Okay How many deaths how many people a year die? How many people die a year at disneyland? Yeah, because there's got to be some a list of incidents reports. Oh, man. There's a whole list There's a lot like what?

Well, this is a negligence part of the guest part of the park Wow, well, let's see recently on july 6 2019 a fight broke out at mickey's toon town After reports that a woman had spit into a man's face the four people and their families were escorted off the property and charges were considered like the tower of terror incident It was filmed on camera phone uploaded youtube. What happened in town right here. It's look at that 2019 was last time There was an altercation Construction accident this year 38 year construction worker was fatally injured when a steel plate fell in a mall working in a trench

Oh my god, they tried to perform CPR, but he died Wow, that's so sad That's a sad thing that happened to that guy, but again You know you lose some you lose some I guess I mean parking structures. Look at how many parking lot structures in mickey's toon town. What could provoke the fight broke out Like why would you hey, bro? You guys are skipping in line to toon town And then I would be like a bro my bad. No, bro. Not your bad, bro. We got to throw down No, we've been here since are you gonna spin on me, bro. Yeah, bro back up son

Yeah, this has infectious diseases too. Yeah between December 17th and 20th visitors to the park. We spoke to measles Is that still around and look where it's from or some of the rides at magic mountain Oh, yeah, you got to see some of the magic mountain magic mountain rides. You got to go on these Hot six flags at the park, baby Magic mountain six flags It may be one of the best six flags ever. We had one in chicago and outside chicago is called um Great america and they had the old they had the american eagle was the the uh the wooden one

Our rides. Okay. Look apocalypse all wood sent from the future. They still got batman, which is crazy Yeah, the best one. I don't think they have any more deja vu. That was fun. Well, it's in no, it's not because it's in alphabetical order Daffy's adventure tours and dive devil. Let's dive devil. That's that's one of those where you take a leap and it swings through the You know Elmer's weather balloons Yeah, forget that one full throttle photo they use. Yeah full throttle like this is crazy This kind of shit is look at that. Look at that Bananas bananas

You want to see what it looks like rudy? This is what we're gonna do. We're gonna do this as soon as panty's done. Look at there it is This is us on full throttle Oh, yeah, dude and a lot of times people fall out right here People die. Ah, I'm dying And they hit the rail and then the ground right they rail right right and they break their neck and usually they end up They don't actually die right away. They take these aren't as scary though when the loopy the loop ones No, I like the ones that are yeah, I like the ones when you go straight from top all the way to the bottom. There you go. Yeah

That's good diversity. Yeah. Yeah, that's the one where it goes straight up See, I'm always afraid that these bars are gonna Break. Yeah. Well, look, it's on just like a hinge. It's on like a it's on a it looks like a lollipop You'll be like a material. It's just like a hydraulic hinge. What if this thing just decides to just be like fail? Nip nip nip and opens up. Yeah Or you know how it doesn't you know like it locks. Yeah, but I'm always afraid it's gonna unlock Well, you know how it locks? But there's still some space. Do you know what I mean? Like it's still it's still it's still a little space

By the way, speaking of which, have you seen the video that circulated again about dmx on the slingshot? Come on, who's dmx dmx the rapper what? Oh, yeah, this guy on the slingshot. You've never seen this This is maybe one of the funniest videos I've ever seen in my entire life Has it gone? No, he's amping himself up. He's just getting excited to do why just because he's nervous So he has to yell look at how fast he's breathing. Look at his buddy. Yeah These are grown men Keep going keep going. No, there's nothing happening. They slowly let them down Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, I like it when they pass out or they vomit on each other

Oh, the people when people pass out is my favorite. Oh, think about how your face is on this sweaty thing This is my biggest pet peeve with with rides and stuff. Yeah I mean think about even pre-pandy. I hated touchy gross sweaty black people all up in the thing They don't how rude it would be to just wipe it down Oh, I would I would absolutely do that after a guy leaves. What if he turns around and looks at you and I go you look gross That's not my fault. You look gross. Yeah, I would absolutely wipe off there. In fact, do you think I was talking to this Do you think people are gonna start doing that now constantly? Oh, maybe like when pandy's over. Do you think that's just gonna be the norm? Oh, I mean when I was on the flight

You know, I mean everyone in first class was like, you know, I mean to Hawaii. Yeah wiping everything down. Yeah That's what I did. That's what I do You didn't wipe it down at all. No I had two masks on. Yeah, your mask is yeah, but I had another fucking shield. Were you touching it though? What you what? You know How I do it. Yeah, I mean I snuck on like this. I sat down, right? Yeah, I put the seatbelt on right and I put more You know, I mean, yeah, that's all and you don't it's not like you use anything anymore Well, I just figured like if some gets COVID gets on my first of all

You can't get it from surfaces. I heard You could if you touched it. It was fresh and you put it to your mouth or face. Yeah, but like who I heard so Here at bad friends were not licensed medical professionals. We are comics with barely a high school diploma For medical information go to the cdc website and you know, don't fucking listen to us They have pictures of it. Look at the COVID just hanging out smoking. No, but how long does COVID chill? They don't really know a couple hours on certain services Andres is so Trace's wife is in the medical hotel is Andres three days three days. All right, so if I okay So for instance if there was COVID right here on this table, right? We clean this before everyone I know I understand that but uh

Andreas yes, and I touched it, right? Yeah after like an hour Yep, and I put it in my eyeball. Why are you touching your eye? I put it in my eyeball, right? Could I get COVID? Yes. Did we clean this desk this morning? We do. Yeah, we do every day Yeah, can you get COVID from surfaces? Yeah. No wait COVID From surfaces. I know from surfaces. Yeah, I'll do it It may be possible that a person can get COVID-19 by touching a surface or object that has the virus on it Then touching their own mouth and those are possibly their eyes, but this is not thought to be the main way Yeah, it's not the main way, but doesn't matter. It's our way

What it's got to be the main way, babe. No, it's not that's like saying you can't get hiv from having non butt sex. No, it's like, you know butt sex is probably the most common way Not the main way, but you could get it. Well, what's the main way butt sex, right? What's the non main way? Yeah vaginal sex Transfusion no, there's other ways to get it's it's more like I think that was a good example. Andres I know I think Can you get hiv from spitting in somebody's mouth? No But can you make out with somebody if you both have cuts inside your mouth? Still won't spread that way even your cuts inside the mouth still won't spread that way

But if I had a cut on my dick and you're giving me a blow job Then the likelihood could could be there. Yes. Okay. So there we go. So that's like what probably 0.1 percent gets it. It's happened. Right. It's half there was a guy to take the risk There was a guy that had a huge cut on the risk on that All right, well, I guess I'm gonna if I have a cut on my dick and you have a cut in your fucking Thing and I have hiv or you have hiv. I'm willing to take the risk Well, if you have hiv and you're gonna give it to me, then you don't care at all Okay, but if you even if you had hiv and you had a cut in your mouth, right?

And I had a cut on my dick, right? I would fucking risk it. You would? Yeah Really? Oh, yeah, that seems silly to me because it's what 0.001 percent chance to get it That's but the one existed but then I'll be like I'll go I'll go to fucking magic Johnson's house He beat it. I know. Okay. Well, then you got how it would give me your shit. Give me the fix. Yeah Now do you think he got it from a guy? That's a real good. That's real because his wife doesn't have it I think when we saw that richer prior thing the other day I think more guys fucking the ass and we don't that we're not privy to a lot of men

Have had sexual relations with men done stuff with men I believe and I truly believe this that you've done some stuff with men. Okay And they don't be embarrassed. I mean, I haven't but I mean don't be embarrassed by it. Okay. Okay. You have and don't be embarrassed What did I do? I don't know your private life, but I'm just I know your nature. Yeah, and I don't know what kind of guy you are you've had No, that's being honest. What when did I do this? I don't know when you do so tell me when you probably happen in college What college did you go to Arizona state Arizona state, right? It's a big party town big party school, right? You probably went to a party. Yeah, I'm there. I see it got drunk. Yeah, right and you went

Hey, John, just kidding Yeah, and John went all right the closest the closest I've ever come Is being in a three in the devil's threesome me and my friend and a girl. Yeah, but what'd you do in the devils? Uh, the true story or the or the comedy version would you do the devils? Here's what's really sad, right? Did you took it touches penis? No. No, your penis is touching your penis. No, not even close Because she was Doug Stalin I was hitting it from behind and then he was getting his his knobs lobbed and the worst part was Is he started talking? Yeah, and it freaked me out and I had to like as fast as I could I had he was like, oh, yeah

I was like, no, no, I was already weirded out about the whole thing. Yeah, you know what Mike Burton did to me Who he's a comic named Mike Burton. What did he do to you? He gave me thumbs up While you guys were hooking up us up you with a girl this he'd give you thumbs up He went like this. I was just I was going down on her, right and he was getting blown by her Right, man, you got the raw into that too. Yeah, I was eating her out and I look up and he looked he was looking at me the whole Time I think yeah, right because it's like because once I looked up. He was already looking at he's just staring down at me Yeah, I was like, I was doing my business down here, man. You know, I mean don't look at my work You're diving and he's just chilling. You know what I mean? Yeah. Hey, Bob. Yeah

So I I'm done. I look and he's like this and he looks at me goes And I You kept going Yeah, and I kept going but see that's very nice that you kept going No, my god, my body talked my body talked and I had to finish as fast as I could And this was probably mean she probably took this the wrong way. I got in the shower immediately They kept talking up for the next like hour. I got in the shower went back downstairs at the party Yeah, that was the closest I've come to any kind of like male sexual encounter. I've never had one

I'll be genuine with you. I would tell you if I had something weird Brian I I've taken Brian Keith aftertage and Aaron Cater BKE. You know BK. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and Aaron Cater Aaron Cater I've taken the breakfast with the girls afterwards Wait, what? Explain what you're saying. I had a sexual thing with a bunch of girls and Aaron Cater and Brian Keith aftertage All you guys together? Yes weird combo and then after I know and then afterwards, you know, I mean I bought breakfast

That's sweet. No, but that's one of the like I wish I hadn't done that Was that a cafe 101 rest in peace? No, it was in Vegas. Oh, okay But it's just a weird awkward breakfast Yeah, of course Why would you five in the morning? You just want to go to sleep you want everyone out? Yeah, because it's your hotel room, right where you want everyone out and you're just kind of eating this shitty omelet You know what I mean? You know what I mean? You got like You have things in your mouth. You know what I mean? You have like chunks of other things in your mouth, right?

You're completely just depleted of any kind of like fluids, right? Right, and you're just you feel gross about the whole experience. Also I don't know at the time. I didn't know those two guys that well. How did that even happen? We weren't besties Right, you know what I mean? I made them an open mic. It was just a gig. It was a gig, right? And um, I'm just eating this fucking and just looking at them and you know Brian Keith Keith. It was one of the ugliest guys I've ever seen in my fucking you said it not me He is he handsome? I don't remember. He has no chin literally known. Well, what if he hears this bob? He's I've already talked about I've done I did this I did the story in comedy central already, but you call him ugly

Yeah, he's the one of the ugliest people I've ever seen in my life Really? You think this guy's the most one of the ugliest people you've ever seen in your life depends on what photo you see on that yeah You're a mean one mr. Grinch. He's not that ugly He looks again looks like another Rick last man. It is funny. How many Rick last ones are is this him now? That's what he looks like now, huh? Wow That's not him. Sure is

Sure is that's not him. Yes, it is Yes, it is dude. That's him today. No, that's him right there this right here. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's him. That's him right there on the right Yeah None of the left. This is him right here. Yeah, that's him He's all right looking. He's all right. Rudy. What do you think about that guys? He handsome? He looks creepy. He looks creepy. She says oh, he is creepy. What he is very creepy. What what vibe? Why does he give you that vibe right away? The mouth and the eyes the mouth see women can tell if guys are creepy by their mouth

Hmm, isn't that weird? Yeah, let's show her a picture of somebody and see if she thinks they're creepy just by their mouth Who's somebody we're friends with that we can show her and see if they're creepy right just by their mouth A comic she might not know Okay, give me somebody Who's someone that she might not know that do they look creepy? Yeah, do you know who anthony jessellnick is? No Great perfect close your eyes close your eyes All right Is this guy is this guy a creeper go zoom in about no no no no no zoom in the mouth first

I mean that's as close as i'm gonna get no so you can look at the mouth and not the face and then you can zoom out Uh, that's very smart. Keep your eyes closed woman Yeah, all right. That's as close as we can get on this dude. You can't zoom into the mouth No, right there. Okay. There we go. Do that. All right. What do you think? Yeah creepy yeah, wow interesting and then that's what he looks like regular. How would you think? Kind of oh still wow all right close your eyes again. He's cute. It's fun. I think he's really yeah He's a handsome guy. Yeah jim jeffreys. Do you know jim jeffreys? She doesn't know any of them This mouth right here, right?

All right, rudy Creep or not a creep Uh, I don't think so. I don't think so. Yeah, I don't think so. That's jim Uh, oh is it bad now? It's bad now. Is it bad now? Yeah, yeah, wow great guy great guy great great another great guy great comic great guy So you maybe you think all guys are creepy. Yeah, close your eyes. Close your eyes. Let's do one more another one. Let's do one more I want to see if you

I All right, rude. What do you think? Is this guy creepy? Yeah Yes, he is by the way. What a photo pop promo. Yeah, and they said take another one and you said that one's the one That one will do. Yeah, let me see that photo. I'm gonna see that photo before this one. Yeah, what's going on? This is on a morning news show. Oh, yeah, and you look like you're like dripping from coke sweat. Yeah, yeah It's really sad what they're able to put up on the internet without your approval I know you don't have to say yet. You don't get to say yes to any of this. Yeah, I have so many bad photos Oh, terrible. Like why is that up there? I don't look at this one. Calliola looks great

She looks great on that. She looks great. That's so funny now See that older asian guy with his name is bobby lee too and he's trying to get yeah He's trying to get into my fucking shit. No, I know. Yeah. God his eyes are so far apart I know like a hammerhead shark. This is not going anywhere I can't I can't I I'm gonna have to continue some other time. No, no, we're gonna do it a little bit more time. It's it's terrible I can't do it. I I'm just not everything. I'm saying is not good and I'm just Going yeah, yeah, you're fine. No, it's not it's not good. I feel you it's it's tough. No, you don't

I'm not adding in and for me for some reason. I'm just kind of like Lost and I don't know what to say. I don't know what Every story I had to cut around because I've already said it a thousand times. It's like I've done so many podcasts. It's like you just you know, I know years. It's like You just kind of get to a point where it's like what else is there to say? I don't know what else to say I don't know living we can live in the conversation at the moment and let it go where it is I know, but it's like it's nice. Sometimes it's like I don't know

And we went into matching mountain rides and that was ridiculous. So and it was really kind of fun And then like it's drifting in and out of different things that don't really make any kind of sense to me Oh, why anyone would give a fuck It's amazing to me that anybody gives a fuck in general and they do you know, I mean like who gives a fuck they do They like it Yeah, you're really having a crisis right now Do you do this on belly? No, because no because there's a guest

That's not it is it's and belly it's different because it's like we talk about Belly is different because we talk about What's going on in the house? Also, we have a guest. You know the guest and then we also it's it's also I always tell like It's just different, you know this one the pressure is Is more there's no pressure on that one because this one, you know, I it's like you're so good that like, you know I just sometimes I just kind of go I don't want to I don't know what I'm doing

You don't want to do it anymore No, I want to do it. I just of course I want to do it. No, I know You know, I mean, I just don't know what I'm doing right now Well, let's get to another let's get to another point and then we can we can all we do is I might need a little break or something and I'll smoke a cigarette Then that'll help me Look at me Look at me. Look at me. Sweet boy. Anyone cares. What you're doing good. Why are you having this existential weird moment?

You don't know what anything means really. Let's talk about that I don't know what anything means. I don't know anything That's another thing is I realize I don't know anything. I don't know anything No, I really don't know. I don't know anything about anything I don't know how anything works. I don't know what I believe in. I don't know You know, how long I have left What am I doing with the time that I have? You know, I mean, what is this?

This I mean, I genuinely do you mean this? Yeah, I have these moments of just like what would you rather be doing? I even when I'm playing video games. I'm like, this isn't it What do you think you should be doing feeling your time? No, that's the thing there's got to be you're having kind of like a midlife crisis No, I'm not I think it has to do with like the pandemic Because it's like I can't leave so it's like, you know, I can't leave And I can't do anything. I can't do anything that I want to do I can't do stand-up. I can't do anything So it's like my days are left of just

watching old star trek next generation episodes to trying to watch Other things that you know, I mean that people are saying you should watch this This is great on that such as trending number three, you know, I mean And you just kind of watch it this morning when I watched that reality. She was just on I was watching going This is the day And this is going to end the same as it did last night And then it's like and then I realized like what's the point of it all?

There's nothing to do. Well, and then I'm going to Hawaii You know at the end of the week or when the couple I don't know when I go, you know, you know, but it's like Why we'll go what's the point because there's a job there Yeah, I know but um, but let's I'm being serious. Yeah Are you having this crisis moment because you feel like you're you're not being fulfilled? It's not just fulfilled. It's what's the point of it all. Well, let's go over the point. There is no point I hate this business And I and let's get out and I'm done. I think

You're done in a week, you're going to Hawaii to film another episode of magnum. Yeah, that's not that's not in the business though That is literally the business. Yeah, but when you show up there, it's like you realize they even go people watch this Like it's not a thing like, you know, when I did love. Yeah, and Judd appa tells around everyone's around And they take them some seriously that right there to me is the business You know what I mean? So you prefer when people are taking themselves? No, I want to be a part of that group. I want to be a part of like the cool group I want to be a part of like you are in the cool group. I'm not I'm in the like ghetto shit

Here's the problem that I think you're mistaken Most people aren't in this fake group that you think people are in I want to be in it You're not in it and because it doesn't exist. It does. No, because you asked them and they'll even tell you I don't even know what you're talking about Yeah, those people want to be in it too and that's why you butt heads with them Butt heads with who? You know who you're talking about who I know tell me who what's his name seth Seth the guy that was in the disaster artist. What's his name?

Seth rogan. Yeah, how do I butt heads? What are you talking about? You got you gave him shit about the lines and the thing and then he no, I no, I didn't give him shit about it I publicly talked shit about not having any Right, but then he will you bought but you have to understand that there was tension between you two you said No, the idea was the idea was like I don't think they cared that I was bummed that I got taken out So that made me sad. It was a bummer. I didn't you could approach him and then he was like weird with you No, no, I didn't approach him about the lines, but the next time I saw him it was kind of weird

Yeah, are you weird now with him? I haven't seen him. Yeah, but you think there's weirdness. Do you think he likes you? I don't think he cares about me as I don't think he gives a fuck that I exist I don't I think he that's what it is. I think he probably there are people that he doesn't care about Well, of course. Yeah, no, but I'm okay with that. I just think that he goes that kid's nice kind of funny It didn't work out with us I don't think he cares But here's my I gotta start I gotta be a part of a group right that's doing high level shit

That everyone wants to be a part of we we make this show and people fucking love this show I know but I'm I know I understand that that's great. And so you want this to be high brow and No, no, no, no, I don't want to be hard of a lampoon shit. No, no, I don't want to highlight No, but I want it like we're not smart enough. You and I are not that smart. That's what I'm saying. What are we doing? This is great. What do we do? We were dumb. Yeah, it's great. What are we doing it around? We're gonna read something man. We gotta learn about things. We're speaking for the idiots Oh god That's it

That's what it is. We're dumb. We're dumb But we've always said we're dumb Oh, and let me tell you something. Yeah, I don't want to be smart because this is fun I'm having a great fucking time Being dumb with you is more fun than anything I've done and it's usually great. It's usually easy You're in a weird headspace. It's like, you know There are snooty pit parts about me Yeah, but you've been you've manufactured them. No, I'm very snooty when it comes to like you mean

I don't like this kind of films or these kind of yeah, you've manufactured that You've made that up and I've always wanted to be a part of like the cool group And it's like even since I was in fucking high school. I could never get in I could never get in with the cool kid. Here's the irony. Here's the irony and I want to be in the cool kids now name to me the cool kids Because they were the dorks for sure Who you think are the cool kids are were dorks. I know. So what are you even talking about? You don't want to be friends with them

Whoever you're talking about they don't exist. I know you you make up the idea that there's this group that you would join and hang out with but it's not you know, I I do these podcasts because It was the last thing that I could do To survive at the beginning. Oh, yeah, it was the it was like. Oh, it's either this or get a day job But now you do the podcast. My point is is that So the podcasting stuff isn't You know, I love doing it saved me in a way, right? But it's like it wasn't, you know, why it came to la

Why did you come to la? I thought that I honestly thought that I would be a movie star But that's not that's but that's not that's not a real thought. What is it? But that's one of my goals. That was my dream. I'm gonna be a movie star and I'm gonna do these I'm gonna do all this stuff. So but you are a working act readjust your dream then. I know I'm gonna have to but my point is that and so every once in a while and people think that I'm complaining or Whining I'm not whining. I'm just, you know, I'm just it gets to a point where you're kind of like What the fuck am I doing?

You know, and it has to do with the pandemic too. It's like, you know, I don't Like I here's another thing and this is a A part of my thing is, you know, every once in a while, I like to go buy clothes Mm-hmm. I know, you know, I have I have this weird obsession with like, you know, I'll go, you know I'll go to self edge and maybe I'll get a new You know, I mean Japanese Rodentum, you know, I mean, I'll wear it out this year I'll just wear it every day, right and get the creases and make it right, right And so I look at my emails. I've ordered 10,000 things online and they haven't none of them come

Yeah, none of it's come. So I can't even do that I'm just say every morning I wake up, right and I go out to the balcony Because from the balcony, I can look down to see like packages Yeah And there's all these gigantic boxes filled with like ottomans and chairs that fucking coli like gets right or lamp fixtures, right? I'm just looking for that little tiny Jacket, you know, or you know, I mean, I or you know, I mean the underwear that I bought, right? You know, I mean or the socks or whatever, right?

And it's that they and they say it's delivering a tracker, but I don't know how to do any of that Right, right. So I don't want to track it. I don't know where it is. I mean, I have things I bought a fucking you know that couch a french the italian couch I have Right a part of that deal. I bought these really cool Light things, right? They're like light fixtures, right? And I remember a year ago when I bought the fucking italian couch. I said, um Hey, you can throw in one of those fancy light fixtures. He's no problem, buddy. You how many do you want? I go four Great, man. There's only four left anyway

And then, you know, we got the italian couch and I go Collin, what is that lamp fixtures? She goes it's somewhere in culver city and something And I go, I guess I'll never get it. You didn't get it. You know what I mean? This sound this sounds like I don't have it Just you're not getting your you're not getting things during anything I can't get anything So it's like the frustration is obvious I'm so sensitive, I guess because of the pandemic because of that. I think that's a part of it It's so I can't take any kind of criticism criticism, but that's okay

Yeah, because we're gonna get through it and it's gonna be fine on the other end. I'm just like I'm I'm just a jumbled of nerves You need a release Yeah, there's nothing, you know, and you know, that's so rude to me at the house. You know, I mean that I can feel Yeah, they're so rude to me at the house when you say you're king and she goes I want you're not my king Right, I go tell me how you're king, you know Do I not say that who's the king and you won't tell me you're the king unless I threaten you?

Yeah, yeah, who is the king? Interesting that's what I'm saying. That's interesting. Yeah, and she's not the king Can I I I I I I I I I I I I I You you think that like when I was first of all, you know, I mean, I'm usually you know where I go, it's okay I'm so sorry about my existential I'm going look at me. Look at me. Don't be sorry. It's a great. It's a honest moment that you're having Yeah, I honestly this whole podcast. I was just like the whole time thing. It was what am I doing here? Sometimes your mind gets in those things. Why what are we saying?

Yeah, you're you're becoming like a nihilist. You know, I know I'm just I'm literally go. Why would anyone want to listen to this too? You think I don't know. Yeah. Yeah, but they do And I appreciate it. Yeah. Yeah, and I and I'm appreciative of I love When they call in and the guy with gigantism and the dwarves and all the people that in the lady Everyone calling in and going, you know, I mean, you mean we love, you know, I mean keep going and they buy the merch You know, and they they tag me in it and they make little videos of me It's really sweet and I really appreciate it and I go but deep down I'm going. Why do you like it? You know, I mean, and I'm glad you do

I'm going to keep doing it because You know, there's nothing else to do. Do you like it? I love doing it. Yeah, I like seeing you and I like doing it Yeah, there are times where I'm like, oh, that's a funny bit or you know, I mean, oh that we really You know, I mean, yeah, we went this way with it. Yeah, and that was fun, right? But today was not it. No today was just like, um, that's not it I'm glad we had I mean a lot of it was great. Yeah Right, George. Yeah, short All right. Hey, thank you for being a bad friend