Bad Friends - Bobby's Flu Game w/ Tom Segura

Episode Date: January 26, 2026

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You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots? White dude and an Asian dude. You two are disgusting. You two are something. We're bad friends. We'll have to make an announcement. Good to see you, Tommy Boy.

Hey, buddy. Good to see you too. So I'm doing my first special this Friday. We've talked about this for years. How exciting is this? They talked about it for years. No, but like we've really talked about this for years. 30 years.

Yeah, pink face. Pink face. I mean, your face is so pink. What are you trying to prove, bud? Is my face pink? Yeah, but yours is naturally pink. Thank you. That's unnatural.

I'm flesh from the whiskey. Yeah. Okay. He's Asian. He breaks out like you guys do when he has whiskey. Why did you come at me so aggressive? You know what else he has? Huh.

The emperor eyes from Star Wars? Oh, he's an emperor you think? Yeah, like the emperor. Dude, he has, right now, dude, Tom's leaguer has emperor eyes. Look at that. He's calling you Sheev Palpatine. Yeah. Why did you come at me so hard?

Yeah, what is that about? I'm so sorry. I'm just so called for and unnecessary. This happens every time I see you. No, it doesn't. No, it doesn't. Every time I see you. No, it doesn't.

Come at me with some insult, and then you go, my bad, dude. It is my bad, dude. But wait, why? You insult me all the time. When is the last time he insulted you? Either your attitude. Oh. It's an energy insult.

It's energy insults. You don't have to say words, dude. I can feel it. I'm tired of it. So you know what happens? That didn't happen at all. I know. Self-sabot.

Yeah. Because he has a special coming up and he goes, I don't feel well. No, so what happened? You're mad at you. No, here's what happened. Yes, he's doing the things. Yes, he's doing that. Carlos.

He's doing all the things. Okay, all right. So all my reps are like, you got to put your reps in. I said reps twice. All your reps are. Oh, the reps do your stand-up reps. Yeah. My representation said I have to do a lot of reps.

Repetitions. Let me just help me clarify it for the audience. Thank you. Anyway, so I did Bakersfield and Fresno over the weekend. I just was around too many people. people and then I wake up humble brag about the tickets he was selling really 750 people

that's not a lot that is a lot anyway I wake up Monday morning with a sore throat and body aches do you see the shows yeah I think he's from the shows what do you think Tommy boy

he thinks he got me with Tommy boy oh you got COVID oh you got COVID no I took it no I took a test I don't have COVID or the flu Do you think, do you, did you perhaps, did you see a female friend over the last couple of days? I did not, no. Look at me.

I've been celibate. Look at me when you do that. Did you not? I was celibate. Did you not? I swear to God. I didn't. You swear to God?

Yeah, because I'm saving up my cum. For the special? That's the closer. They said they have to save your comb. You know what? That is, can I tell you something? I mean this in all. Like fighters do it.

I heard. That's the best advice. you should save your Chi for sure. I did. And I am. Yeah, but keep it saved for how long. At least through the spectrum. Yeah, I am.

Of course I am. Don't make kissy faces with anybody. I'm not doing any kissy faces, dude, like Rocky did. Yeah. Is that how he, but he ended up losing in that movie. I know. He didn't save enough. I don't have a choice.

Yeah, so he did at TAP, Adrian a couple times. Right, he did. Yeah, that's true. So, but we start over. Yeah, you guys need to do a start over, man. If we start over? No, we're not starting over. We're going to put that in, but you need to start over.

this relationship because time is an old friend of ours it feels strange to do that he dressed like a CIA agent now lately we're almost as the same I know all right you're right I'll start over okay what I was saying welcome to the show yeah before you look real good thanks buddy so do you were stuck in the Caribbean yeah how'd you know because that you know people I've never been there and some people get to go he said the Caribbeaners at the Caribbean yeah I can't believe and I'm being I'm a fan of Caribbean. It's the Caribbean because it sounds cooler.

Yeah, I don't... Comedians, Tom Sagar, and Christina Pissacki, stuck in the Caribbean due to Venezuela-related... My favorite thing is that... That angle, by the way, that's insane. It looks like you guys are in me an interrogating. All we did was like, we got a call from our podcast producer who was like, hey, you're not back so we can't record an episode? Can you just put a video together for the podcast audience? Yeah.

And then people send me, they're like, oh, you're on TMZ. I was like, for what? They're like for that video. Oh, that's who picked this whole story up? How do they get it? Because it was, we just posted it on Instagram. Yeah, just like, hey, we're not doing a podcast this week. We're stuck.

And then TMZ was like, they're stuck. And then the only thing I heard from people was, I hope you fucking stay there. Who would say that? Oh, they're like, you wrote that a few times. I know, but aside from me. Wait, to go back up to the, just the way that TMZ title sings, go back to the title is, stranded in paradise. Maduro's capture, shutdown, flights home.

It's so ridiculous. Okay, so we got Tom Seguer and Christina Paziski and they're stuck. They're stuck? Stuck, stuck, stuck. Stuck, stuck in paradise. Don't feel bad for them. What I was trying to say,

and you came at me about my pink skin and all this shit, was just that for years, we've been talking about you doing a special. And I was just saying that I'm so excited and so happy that you're actually doing it and that fans get to see you do your stand-up now

in a special. I think it's amazing. We're so happy. We're excited. Not my full potential because I'm not feeling well. You're fine. You're going to feel so good. Let's get you an IV.

I did you an IV yesterday. Didn't work shit. No, do it again. And have you done NAD yet? I have ADD. No, N-A-D. Yeah, Michael Jordan's flu game. Probably one of the greatest.

He scored 38 points by battling the flu. Or it was going out the night before in parting. But even still, the Irish flu does get me. So this could be your flu game. What does it tell me, explain to me? 1997, game five in the finals. Jordan had the flu. Basketball.

Oh, yeah. Michael Jordan. Oh, there is. He was the Michael B. Jordan. Oh, okay. No, Michael. Not sinners. This is a fucking, it's not Michael B. Jordan.

No. Okay. This is the flu game. Okay. And he had the flu and he performed unbelievable. It was as if the God. were like, you're going to be okay. Because they, it's what happened.

It's, it's that he is God's choice. He's God's choice and you're God's choice as well. And your special is going to be amazing in this, dude. Yep. You're going to be amazing in this. Okay. Flu game. Believe it.

This is your flu game. Never heard of it. This is the flu game. No, no, no, no. June 11th. Tell me more about it. Oh, my God. Tell me more about it.

It's legendary. It's legendary. Is there a diarrhea game? There is a diarrhea game. It was. Yeah, yeah. The diarrhea game is. It is.

Yeah. Paul Pierce had the diarrhea Yeah, that's right. That's right. But this one's a little bit more prominent. Yes. Then there was an AIDS game. So Magic had an H-RB game. Oh, yeah, I heard about that. That one, you know.

That's a scary game. Wait a minute. Is there a name yet for the special? Yes. What is it? It's so good. Finally. It's perfect.

Why not? Why not? You don't like it? I love it. And you're shooting in San Diego? In 3D, yeah. 3D, 4HD, the whole thing. The old B?

They're doing it in an IMAX. Dude, you want Dolby? I got Dolby, dude. Laser. And where is this going to air? Where's this airing? Hulu. Fuck.

Yeah, Hulu. Right on Hulu. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's amazing, dude. You don't think I deserve it? I didn't, I didn't say it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was so condescending what he just did, dude.

No, he just. He's successful. He's successful. He's conquered the game, dude. He's on top of, just shut the fuck up, dude. Whoa, see what he's doing? Wow. All right.

I also came here. Yeah, yeah. Whoa, you came here, what? To say thank you for doing season one of bad thoughts for starting season two. It was a fun experience. And thank you so much for having. How long have you been awake? I've been in bed for 24 hours.

Can I tell you all you need to do? I've seen this on TikTok. I've seen this on TikTok. This bit right here? No, no, not this bit. It's the white man's. I know you're half Peruvian, whatever it is. I appreciate that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's your hand domination. Oh, hand domination. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're doing that aluminum. He makes me fold. You're trying to control the conversation. I understand what you're doing with their hands.

And I'm doing it back. And you're seeing it through it. I'm seeing right through it, dude. Okay, go ahead. What are you going to say? That this weekend is going to be fantastic for you. And these next few days, all I hope is that you actually listen to your body when it says it's time to rest. Get your rest.

Get your fluids. Eat your food. Feel good. And on Friday and Saturday and how many shows you're going to tape. you're going to feel great, man. It's going to be fantastic. And you know, Tom, I have to be honest with you. Let me be real with you, too.

Yeah. You've been a friend, a real comrade. And I apologize for being so negative. I appreciate that. Yeah. When I was talking about your pink face and your emperor eyes, right? It's just an observation. Because they're blue, or is it because of the holes?

No, it just looked weird. Oh, okay. Yeah, I mean, it's so... Fuck you, dude. You do. What do I have to do with? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're with him, dude.

You're in that room with him. I've been sitting here. How long have I been sitting here? 10 minutes. Yeah, yeah. I've been sitting here. You're cackling, you know, with your,

do you know that over the last few years, a few times he has graced me with his presence to come on shows with me? Yeah. I've invited them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you know that every time he gets introduced, it is just like thunderous?

Thunderous. It's crazy. Thunder. The reception this day gets. It's unbelievable. And that's going to be like when the special comes. That's going to be the exact same thing.

People are going to lose their minds. They are going to lose their minds. I know that. I know that as a fact. You know what I take... Hold on. The whites are talking. Okay.

We're proud of them. Yeah. We're very proud of them. To get a little guy like this up there and doing his thing, it's going to be fucking amazing. Now do you feel a little bit better? Yeah.

You're getting hyped up. I sure do. I feel jazzed. This is a... No, no. This is a look. And let me tell you something. Whatever you're doing, dude?

Fuck off. All right. Go back to Austin. Go back. Come on. Yeah, yeah. I'm tired of it, dude. Why are you tired of it?

I love you. I love you too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What does it come out? Do you know when it comes out on it? In November. Oh, so you got a, you got some time. To do what?

We need, you know. Yeah, we need some reshush. Okay. Here we go. Mr. Director. Well, first of all, It says Mr. Director. Andres is back and we want to welcome back

our old friend Andres who hasn't been around, Andres. And you guys can speak in tongues like you guys do. Yeah. You ask for the bathroom key. Yes. And how did he say to you? What did he say? Tengue mea.

Meo. Meo. Yeah, where's the meo? Yeah, for a favor. You feel a little bit better now? Is he direct, are you directing it? No. No, no, no.

Louis Cats. Louis Cats, the legendary Louis Cats. I do know Louie Cats. Louis Katz is going to do it. Fantastic. Did you consider it for no. I can say it. I'm happy.

Not even. By the way, I've seen that movie is a great movie. It's great. Yeah. I did consider it. You did. Yeah. He just doesn't know my act as well as Louis does.

That's not why. Yeah, I need performance notes. You wanted a comedian. Can I just throw something in here, though? Was there no thought of reaching out to me? Yeah. Interesting. You would never direct my special.

Why would I not direct your special? You would never do it. Why? Why would I ask and get rejected by you? I would never reject you. Oh, so what would you say? I call ding ding. Hello.

Is it your mom's house? Yes. Yeah, yeah. Is this the corporate center of your mom's house? Yes. Can I get linked into the Tom Sager or the president, please? Sure. Yes.

Hold on a second. Yeah. Hello, this is a second assistant. You're going to talk to the first? Yeah, yeah. I'm Bobby Lee. Have you heard of me? Yeah, I know, but I'm friends with Tom.

Okay, I'll send you over to the first assistant. I was already at the first assistant and he sent me to the second assistant. I need to talk to Tom. Okay. He's not picking up my phone calls. Which Asian is this? I'm a Korean. Hold on.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Did you see Asian or agency? Asian's fine. Anyway, I know, can I talk to Sugura? Is there somebody closest to Sugara I could talk to? He loves Grandma Kim's. Hold on a one second. And then they pass you through.

Hey, Bobby. Hello, Tom? Yeah. Hey. What's up, man? What are you doing? Groovy. What are you calling for?

What's up? What's the call for? I just want to see how you were. Oh, I'm good, man. How are you? The dogs? We don't have dogs. I'm sure you will.

I'm sure you will, dude. My son's allergic, I thought you'd do that. Yeah, yeah. How are the kids? They're good. They're allergic to dogs. Christina? Alive and well.

That's fantastic. Wow, what a show you're running. Thanks, man. Yeah, thanks. Tired of talking to me? Not at all, not at all. If you're something, your voice. No, bro, what's going?

How's Andrew? Oh, he's fine and daddy, dandy. He's hanging out with his friends, Taylor Swift and Barack Obama. Shit, is he friends with that? Yeah, yeah. Is he there? He's not around, no. Hey, Tom.

I'm here. Andrew, buddy. Came out of nowhere, bud. Hey, dude, who are you? I picked up the line upstairs. Oh, I see. You know, what's going on? Bobby, you can hang out.

So good to hear from you. What's up, dude? What's up, bro? Nothing. Bobby was going to ask you if you direct a special. What? He was going to ask you to direct his special. Why the fuck would I...

He's not on the phone anymore. No, he's not. I'm still here. Oh, hey, Bob. Hey. Shit. Hey, so can you... When is it?

Oh, it's going to be January 16th and 17th. That's right. Oh, I have a stool sample thing I got to do for my... Oh, yeah, you told me about that. I don't know. Can you move that? I don't think you can move that. You know what I could do, though?

I could ask. Yeah. Ask who? I'll ask the doctor. Okay. And if the doctor says... notes, doctor comes first. Right, okay.

You have any suggestions of somebody that could direct it, you think? Have fun and do your best. Will you consider it, Tom? Bob? See, that's what's going to... See, that's what's going to happen. That would have never happened. That's why I don't call.

You know this. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You would have done it. In a heartbeat. Wow. That's nice to know. And also, I will say this. I think Louis Katz.

I think Louis Katz is super talented. He's the man. I do think he's going to put out, he's going to make something glorious. Because, you know, he's so like hands-on. Rookie quarterback. It's a big risk. But I like it. It's smart.

He's great. Get him out there on the field. He can play. He's going to be good. He's going to play. He's going to play well. Although the other day I go, do you have any audience shots? He goes, we're not doing that.

I'm on his team. I don't like him. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't like him. You don't need him. Why does it? Sometimes you have one locked off just for edits, right? Just because you're like, I want to jump from this to this to this to this to this. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I never liked it. Did you direct your audience need to see the audience? I did not, I did not, no. Who do you direct yours? I don't remember. No, but do you have different people doing it in different shows? The Glorious Brandon Dermor did it, our good friend, Brandon Dermann. Oh, Derman did one.

He did white noise. Oh, he did? Yeah. Amazing. Yeah. And Homefield Advantage. Who direct shows you, different people? I've had, for the last two, I had Ryan Polito.

I had Jay Karras do one. I had Rami Hashash do one. Whoa, whoa, whoa. How many have you done? Four? Six. You've done six specials already? Yeah.

All Netflix? All we're on Netflix, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow. Yeah, there's one out right now, man. There's one out right now. What's the call? What's the called?

Teacher. Yeah. Check it out on YouTube. It's on Netflix. Bobby, you got it. Netflix. Netflix, YouTube, whatever. We're on YouTube.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I'm sorry. I can't make a joke to the king. Premier League, you know. Oh. Oh, Premier League. He's then the first.

Premierly. Yeah, yeah. And what are we? I'm in the third division. Yeah, yeah. Oh, I see. What are some of the teams that we're aligned with? I'm Portsmouth.

Exactly. Yeah, yeah. Very good. I'm Coventry City. You know teams. Yeah, I do. He's a big soccer fan. I'm a big soccer fan.

Yeah. Arsenal. I'm Cardiff. I can name a lot. Do you have an all-time favorite team? Arsenal FC. That's your squad? Bleed red.

Do you don't have a tattoo of them? I don't. I'm going to get one, though. I bleed red, though. Do it tomorrow, dude. do it for the special. Should do it for the special, actually. Get an Arsenal tattoo for the special.

And then under it, and under it right finally. Yeah, and what do I do it? Under the Gooner Canon. Right, but under my eye. Oh my God. That'd be cool, right? Fantastic idea. Yeah, like a canon.

Yes. Who's your favorite player of all time? Probably Tierra Henri. Get that on the other eye. But Henri's face here, Arsenal here. And then you lock in on Friday, Saturday. Yeah. I think it's a good idea.

I feel like the focal point, there needs to be something here, too. Maybe a soccer ball. Maybe. Maybe something different though, like something I'm into. Video games? That's right. A bed. Put a bed up there. No. Korea? No. Ghost of Yotai. What did you just say?

What did you say? Fuck. Gigantic watermelon you like to. I didn't understand what we're just like to throw it down. A gigantic watermelon? Yeah. The people get nice to harvest. What? From Star do. Oh.

From Star do you know. Oh, fuck. Very funny. Good slam. That's a good slam, dude. It's a very good slam. Why? Because I like farming simulation games, you fuckface? Right? I love to plant. All right. It's not, okay. Isn't it funny that he'll plant on a video game, but never in real life?

Yeah. It's kind of fascinating. What about booggi right here? Oh, little buckles. I love the meat. Yeah. Yeah. That's you. Yeah. Water Marin Farm. It's not just Breckis that the Rikides. I do, too. They don't have watermelons and they have... Kimchi, kimchi.

They're summer melons. Kimchi, okay, if you were going to do a Korean food on your face, tattooed for the rest of your life. 100% kimchi. I mean... A bowl of Bibambop. That would be the foundation of it all? I would do a bowl of beambop.

Not kimchi. Wow. Bebombop is an interesting dish because it does symbolize my life. Yeah. It's a mixture of things. Go on. Layers. What?

There's a lot of layers. I just said it. Do you have a top one or two? LA spots Oh yeah Korean spots Yeah yeah Parks

Well I went to Park Sunday And yesterday by the way Both days Yeah Chosong go Sond goby Yeah So I go to Chosan Even though we saw

The last time I was there I saw a dead body In the front In the front Meaning the lobby Like the host stand Or just standing Sitting laying there

In the front of the entrance area Dead? Yeah she was dead They die all the time Yeah Yeah It's And they had the

They had the white thing all over her Right And I was smoking A syrup She's dead in the restaurant? Right out front. Right out front of the restaurant.

And I was kind of like, look at these old people gathered around in front of the thing. I was making fun of them. And then somebody goes, I think that's the family. I'll go, fuck, my dad. Wait, did they go there to, did they bring it there? It was like an old Korean group that went in. One of them died and it was outside that.

That's crazy. But a great place to die. Yeah. You would love to die. I have a photo of it somewhere in my phone. I took a photo. Are you a big garlic fan? Yeah.

I'm a big garlic, Fran. Why do you want to know? Why would you ask that, friend? I'm going to give you my best spots, right? That's what you asked. Yeah. May I? What are they?

Dude, what? What are they? I'm going to tell you. Okay. So I like Choson, parks. I like this place called Gavin. Yeah. Right?

This place that we went to in the alley. Or, I mean, in the parking lot's in the back. Park in the back. Oh, that's Augusti Gopchong? Yeah, Auguste was good. But that's a late-night spot. Augusti, what? It's more of a late night spot, you know what I mean?

Okay. Yeah, so those are, I like Sukpuljee. Soapuji? Yeah, so. Why, have you gone? I don't think so. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whoa!

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brand. Visit cash. dot app slash legal slash podcast for full disclosures. So funny. So I fucking, piss me off. So I had one of the best meals of my life with you in Vegas. We're at. At the fucking.

Close andres. Uh-huh. Right. Yeah, his bizarre mates was there. Yeah. Right. Was. But I booked, I booked a hotel room because I knew that that was there.

You did not. I did. There? Yeah. Oh my God. I checked in. I went, I was going straight to Bazaar Meets. It's not here anymore.

It's not there, yeah. Why? What hotel was it? So he used to have Bazaar Meets at the Sahara. The Sahara's closed. Right? No, I was just there. He was just there, but it seemed closed.

It's no longer there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I thought they closed that fucking thing down. No, it's still there. Yeah, the rooms are like $16 a night. But that was one of the best meals. It's incredible. I've ever had.

Dude, I have to say. this last time I went there I went there a few weeks ago like a month ago or so for F1 what was that no two months ago I guess for F1 and I texted him that I was there Jose Andres and he was like oh I'm here come by one of my restaurants we went by and this guy by the way he's you know that he is just the most not just amazing chef but amazing person this guy does world Central Kitchen. Yeah.

Yeah. They feed people. Philithropic. You're almost there. Philanthropic. Yeah. And it was there. He took us, gave us everything that the restaurant makes, like every dish.

And then goes, let's go to my other restaurant. We're like, we're like keeled over. He's like, go to my other restaurant. We go to the second restaurant with him. Jesus. And he feeds us absolutely everything on that menu. And to the point where we're like, I think we're all going to throw up right now. Yeah, too much. Yeah. And then he's just the greatest guy. I cannot say enough

good things about this guy. He's just like, he's, he's an incredible dude. Like as a, as a restaurant tour, as a chef and as a human being, Jose Andres is top, top of the fucking. And as a philanthropist. As a philanthropist, yes, which you're almost there. Ibiroko ham. Yeah. Yeah. You like that stuff. You guys love that stuff. Where are you from in there? I'm from Galifia. I have a similar story to that. My friend Frank took me to doing McDonald's. What did they give? What did they give? You're a manager. I got a double-pounder cheese. Do you ever, did you tell him? Then we went to the Arby's.

If the fries and if- Wow, I was like, this is too much, Frank. Yeah, Frank went over the top. If fries aren't hot, do you ever go back and go? 100%. Oh, 100%. Yeah. I need these hot.

I need these hot. I need fresh fries. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I say that in the window. Can I get fresh fries if you don't mind? Yeah. I'll pay for it. They need to be, yeah.

I want the fresh fries. You can heat them up with your eggs the next morning and they're really good. No. In a pan. In a pan. Okay. learns that. The time you go home and you take out your fries and they suck and you put them in the

microwave, you're like, these are fucking worse now. Yeah, and the pan's the way to go. With your eggs? Just what I was like a breakfast, a little breakfast potatoes. Hmm. I took you to fucking bizarre meats, you ass. I know. I just said out loud it was the most amazing experience. It was me, you, I forget who was there, but a bunch of people. Yeah. Yeah. The bill must have been a lot, a lot of money. We just ordered. Well, Jose Andres took care of it. Yeah, whatever. Actually, no.

No, he did. Really? Yeah, because I remember Tom paying for it. Invited you the restaurant, then made you play? No, no. When I went this time, he took care of everything. Ah. Oh, back then.

Also, that weekend was probably one of the best weekends of my life, maybe even. Yeah. Because we did that big show. Yeah. It was me, you, Shane, Bert. Yeah, at the MGM Grand. And that was really funny, fun. That was powerful.

Powerful. Yeah, yeah. Powerful show. Strong night. Yeah. So, anyway, thank you for that. Yeah. And thank you for,

TV show. That was fun. Yeah, and thank you for a lot of things, and I appreciate it. I love you, Bob. I love you too, man. What's up? Does the aggression stop? You know, I have to go to therapy to see where my hostility is. I'm going tomorrow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you? I'm going tomorrow. Really? You have therapists here? Yeah. Oh, wow. Yeah. Guys got them all over the place. You have what in Austin? Just, do you have two? No, just LA. Yeah, yeah. And you've been with... This is where they are. They're here.

And have you been with this person for a long time? Long time. Yeah. I've been with mine for six, seven years now. Oh, I've been longer. Oh, really? Yeah. Yeah.

It's so funny because they won't hang out with you outside of the thing. That's not a thing that you should. I've asked, you want to go get a bite to eat? No, we're not doing, we don't do that. I found myself. Do you ever, have you ever asked your therapist to watch something you've done? Yeah, would they say no? No, no, he did.

And then I was like, oh, no, I don't like the idea of knowing me at all. I prefer them to not be familiar with me in any way, shape or form. I go, I talked about this thing in the, I don't know if you should watch it. And then I guess I was like implying, but I didn't directly. Yeah. And then he came back, he's like, yeah, I watched it. And he's like, I'm so, that's so good. I was like, ah, shit, you're like my mom.

He did a good job, buddy. I don't want them to know anything. I want that to be kind of like a complete disconnect. I want it to be like. Yeah, but he's checked out your shit. No. You don't think so? it's easy to find, man.

You think he has that list a little bit. No, no, but I think it's more like two different cultural circles. You know what do you mean? He's a minority? He's gay. He's gay. Is he gay?

I don't think I'm his flavor. Okay, okay. Of lifestyle. You know what I mean? He likes art, high art. We all like high art. You like a high art, right? I'm a higher guy.

Yeah, yeah. I've been a MoMA. You been a MoMA? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Dundamama? No, I think he probably has a more intellectual consumption of his. I don't think he likes fart.

Sounds like you're his therapist. I am. Yeah. Oh, you don't think your therapist, like fart humor. I don't think he likes what we do. I think this would be something he'd go. He's like, this is some lowbrowsh. Yeah, he'd go, this is nice for you.

That's good that you do. It's good for you. It's good for you do that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I hate it when, like, I'm in a situation where, like, someone, like, someone recognizes me, and then like, an old lady will go,

I'd like to check out what you know. Oh, a nightmare. And I always go, you can, don't know, you can. Please don't. You'll hate me. Like on a plane?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why, how do these people know you? Yeah, yeah. And then you go, well, I think they know me from, I do, there's a podcast. Yeah, yeah. What is it? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And I'm always like, do you say it? I don't even say it. I say, well, my name is Jason Bateman, and it's called Smartless. Yeah, my name is Dad Shepard. Yeah, and it's a great show. Yeah.

And we talked about that before. None of those guys all, Congratulations for Amy Polo for winning a Golden Globe. Unbelievable. Unbelievable. Unbelievable. I mean unbelievable. I mean unbelievable.

Sounds good. Congratulations. What would your speech have been if you won a podcast? They'll never not nominate us. No, no, no. They'll never nominate us. No, I know, but in the hypothetical fun world, what would your speech be? Thank you.

I would nominate you. What would your speech be? Okay. Bobby and the winner for the best podcaster of the year, Bobby Lee. This is the bad I would do. Me? Oh, that's good. I would take my time.

I would take my time. Take your time. Yeah, yeah. And then I would walk the opposite direction of the stage. Funny. Yeah, it's funny. Funny. Right?

And I would go as far as I could. Until somebody turned me back around. Funny? And then they go, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I'll just be confused. I'll go toward the stage. And then I'll probably give. The music starts playing.

You're off. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that's what I would do. Yeah. I'd take up all my whole time. just getting up there. That's very funny. Yeah, yeah.

That's really, that's the funniest way to do it. But if you had like the mic. See, that's what I'm saying. I'm trying to avoid it. So like, go ahead. I mean, you're going to talk about the situation in Iran, obviously.

Yeah, you have to. Yeah, I want to have a be good pin. Check this out. Outrageous. Are you going to thank your... Anyway, thanks for my... Thanks for the award. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Thank your crew for like all the support. No way. Yeah, I want to thank... Hey, I can... Well, first of all, I don't even know. Why was this even a category? Smart. Yeah, yeah, it's the Golden Globes.

I thought it was higher end shit here, but. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. But, hey, Nikki, what's up? I would call her out. Yeah. And if she pretended. It's nice to meet you, Bobby.

If you pretended that she didn't know me. I had never met that man. Yeah, yeah. It would be war. Yeah. And I'd be like, I just don't even know this. But anyway, yeah, well, you would have to get the award. Because I wouldn't get it alone.

It would be with you. Oh, you'd be podcaster of the year. year for sure. You would get it. It'd be you and I. No, you'd get it. No, they don't do that. They nominate shows. Would you want Andrew to speak? Yeah, you do the speaking. Thank you, Jews. Yeah. And then you leave. And that's a win-win. Pats. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Touching all the bases there, man. Be good. And that, we be good. Carry both, you know. Yeah, we've got different messages. But then there's a secondary interview. Now you're off the stage and now you're on like the backstage red carpet thing with the backdrop and they go, Bobby, how do you feel? You just won the

Golden Globe. I go, I have to pinch myself every day because I'm just living in gratitude. Oh, you do one of those. Those are good. Do you don't like those? I like them. I like them. Yeah, yeah. I'm afraid that I would probably edit myself because I don't want to say anything, you know what I mean? Too crazy. Yeah. I'd have been like, I'm just happy that we beat two bears. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just a big win for us. They weren't. They weren't even nominated. They weren't? No. Oh, okay. You would do that in the moment?

Oh, yeah, yeah. We would do that moment. Yeah. Just a little play. They weren't even, you know what I mean? Yeah, remember when they made fun of you on your own show, when they came in to do a swap. We remember those guys. Yeah.

Yeah. Wow. This is what you would lead with. Yeah. You'd have to. You have a golden globe right now. You got to give our fans what they really want, man. It's not about the globes.

It's about our dogs, our fans. Yeah, yeah, yeah. People that love us. And that's why we love them. Yeah. We make, we fuck up your names. Oh, that's good. Benny Krieger, you know.

Yeah, small good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, Benny Creaker. He's really good. And, uh, Benny Creaker. Yeah, and Larry Sagara. Larry Sagara is very talented. Have you seen that show?

I was, what's called? What show? Darkness. Not even a play on words, dark sketch. Dark sketch. Dark sketch. Yeah, really good. Yeah, really good.

Yeah. Really good stuff. Really good stuff. Yeah. What's your speech? I First of all I can't even

You gotta do it now I can't imagine Being nominated Me either I would never consider that Yeah yeah Well because you have to fill out I bet it because you have to fill out

And you have to pay them You have to pay yeah Yeah You have to pay to be now And I'd be like I'm not paying that Well those companies They get paid by like Spotify and One Tree

And these podcast companies They pay for the nomination Yeah How much is it? I don't know No idea Yeah Yeah but they're never going to nominate us

Because they're going to nominate the people in their ecosystem. I would have said something like, I would have said something like, honestly, and I mean this, I would have been like, Bobby Lee should have won this award. You know? No, you wouldn't.

Yeah, like when Ving Rames did that for Jack Lemon, he was like, this is for you, and I cry. And then I would just put it said, I would have talked about you probably. It's amazing that Joe hasn't, wasn't nominated though. He actually, from what I saw, I didn't ask him this, I didn't talk to him.

I saw that he wasn't, he with, but it like withheld himself from being even nominated. Yeah, he doesn't want to go. He doesn't do that. Right. That is the last place on earth. Yeah, he doesn't want to do that, man.

That's, he's not interested in it. Yeah, yeah. I mean, yeah, it's just not fitting for our kind of comedy podcast. I think that's what it is, yeah. They wouldn't put us over there.

We should make our own award show. Do it? Do we need one? For star people. For what? I mean, here's a, we need a gathering.

Here's what I'm saying. This is what Skankfest is for. No, no, no, it's a different. That's different. We want a gathering of just all of our past, you know, we're dressed up. And we're in a tuxedo, mini red carpet, right? And just to be around our friends and, you know, for family. Yeah.

And to go pat his shit on the bat and go, you did a good job on the two pairs that episode or whatever. Yeah, is that what you want? Not really. That's your birthday party. That was my birthday party. Yeah, I dressed. You had a birthday party? Yeah, bowling party.

Bowling party. It was amazing. You were invited. You know, that's good. What's good? That's good. That's good. That's good.

What you're doing. You don't fucking live here. I would have flown here for that. You would not. I would have flown here. Can I say another thing? I ran into you. I went into you, right?

I was with a girl. Open it up. Yes. Yeah, yeah. Yes. You know what I mean? And it was like interesting. What was interesting?

What was interesting? It just you and Kirk coming out of a, you know, I mean, an SUV beautiful one you know what I mean and you guys are just like kind of buzzed yeah just you know full of life sure you guys you guys were giggling too you guys giggled out of the fuck at UV

well we probably took something yeah whatever but you guys you guys you know what I mean there were some other people I think hey Bob you know I'm like you know me I'm like you know be panhandling out there you're with a girl oh yeah with a girl yeah you're a beautiful girl yeah with a beautiful girl

yeah with a beautiful girl and he was kind of like hey fucking you know be cool be cool be cool be cool I said that to her. You said that to her a lot. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You looked at us and you were like, Oh, be cool, be cool.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because you guys say outrageous things. When I'm with a girl, people say, not you, but like, comic, people say outrageous things. Not me, I'm always good around your girl. I'm really good. I know, don't even. I know, you're the best.

I, yeah. No, you know, Tom, you're the best. I love it. You know what I mean? And thanks for doing this, dude. I don't know why. I'm, thanks for doing this. I don't know why whenever I see you,

I'm a little hostile. Very, even a little. But there's love, you know, we had a Native American seances before. Yeah. I mean, in Canada. That's right. We've experienced that. Mm-hmm.

Have you experienced that with Tom? I have not. Yeah, yeah. Our relationship doesn't really go to the depths of Native American seances. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it will one day. We did shows together. We've done a television show together.

Mm-hmm. We've done Native American seances. We've done sponge baths. We've done all this shit. Oh, we've done a lot of stuff. Yeah, yeah, sponge bashing. What else do you need? Yeah.

Yeah, not much. So where's the negativity coming from? I know what it is. What is it? I love him so much. He always gives it to me, man. Yeah. I love him so much.

But then there's a part of me that just can't give my love. And so I attack. Yeah, what is that? Yeah, I don't know what it is. Can you bring that up in therapy this way? Yeah, I do you think I need to bring it up. Like, I'll just run into somebody and I will attack them. Huh.

Yeah, yeah. I mean, you must have seen this before. He's never done this before. But you've, no, with nobody? No, no. I've done it with him. You don't do it with him? No.

Why do you, because you feel comfortable enough with him? No, I'm scared of him. Oh, you're scared of him. I mean, you know. He's a temperament. What is this saying? Is this a personality disorder? Oh, I just think he's self-sabotaging his relationship with you.

Ah. Interesting. He's therapizing, but I do, that could be part of it. Like, do you fight with, fight with Bert at all? I wouldn't say we fight. No, we don't fight. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No.

Disagreements? Sometimes You know But not We don't have a We have a pretty good Style of communication Yeah

They don't even speak anymore You know this right They're not talking That's what I meant Yeah Yeah yeah yeah You guys don't talk often They don't talk at all

And he cut him off No We'd go through the assistants What's he saying No but I think you guys You have your podcast together Not anymore He

Bert slept with Christina Well he did He did Yeah he did If that happened, what would you do? Oh, my God. No, but what would you do? Great.

That wouldn't be your first reaction. Probably. It would be like, you'd be confusion first. Let's go through the feelings. Confusion would be a, confusion first. Yeah, confusion first, right? Panic, anger. There would be some humor to it.

You would probably laugh. That probably laughs. Yeah, like, I can't fucking believe this shit. That's crazy. Yeah. Yeah. And then how. How and when?

Well, physically. And why? Yeah. How when and why? Who? And who? I would get, I would understand. I would understand the how, which would be he would be on his back.

Yeah. Oh, right, right, right, right. Yeah, that's just math. When? When, where's the when? We don't know. Wednesday. On Wednesday.

Okay. Okay. Who, all right. Who, Bert. Yeah. Where? House. House.

How? Yeah. How? Yeah. On his back. On his back. Wednesday. Wednesday.

Yeah. And why? And why? And why? What's why? They have this chemistry. Right, right. Yeah. That's crazy.

Are you still with that chick that I saw you with? Yeah. When I was with Kirk? Yeah. That's your chick? Somebody I'm seeing. I mean, it was a while ago, so it's a long... Somebody I'm seeing.

It's been a while. It's been a while. It's been a while. You'll see. Is that your girl? Bobby Lee. You have brown eyes now. Right?

Is that your girlfriend? It's somebody that I am seeing, Tom. What the fuck are you getting at you? I don't know this lingo. It's something that I like that we're seeing. I don't know what it is yet. Andrew. It's Bobby.

Bobby is afraid of getting too close to the sun. I got it. You know what I mean? He's cool on the beach. I saw him. This was like a year ago or something, man. Well, he doesn't want his heartbroken. I think that's what it is.

I think that's more what it is. He's afraid of getting his heart. I've been ripped apart many times. He's been shredded up. I've been out there in the wild. You got a big heart too. You think this could be the one? I don't know.

But let me say something. It's going to take a while for me to my wounds to heal. You know? My wounds are healing. Let it heal first. He's in a healing phase. I'm in a healing phase. Yeah.

And we respect it and we really want to let him be in his healing phase. Yeah. And I don't know if you know. know this, but as you get older, it doesn't mean as much. Does it mean as much? Yeah, I'm not as, um, the desire is not as, is not as fiery, if I may. Yeah, you know, you may. Yeah. Um, you're getting old. Warby Parker. I love fashion. I love my eyes and I love my eyes having fashion. That's why you love Warby Parker. They're incredible. And they have this virtual try on. It's a total game changer. I've done this at the house. My wife and I were doing it because she was

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Rocketmoney.com slash bad friends. Holder. Older. Yeah, yeah. Late 40s? I guess, yeah, 46. Yeah. And one day, the fire will.

diminish. In life? No. And the peepee. Yeah, in the pee pee. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Blue Chew!

That's why we're sponsored by Blue Chew. I mean, you don't have a problem in the Saki Sakaloo. No, but I just wanted to try it. Yeah, I mean, you haven't tried it before? No. Yeah, me either. I have, I mean, it's a lie. I've had any.

Does it help? It does. The erection lasts a little too long as longer than I. Oh, shit. What am I going to happen here? What? What? What?

Go to your hotel. You still have your house out here? No, I sold my house. Yeah. Go to a hotel. When you, um... Good advice, man. What?

Let's go to the hotel. Go to the hotel, too. Hunker down. Yeah. Get room service and hunker down, dude. Don't go to the smoke house. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Actually, definitely go to the smoke house. You're going to go somewhere for dinner. Yeah. Hunker down. I'm ready. Yeah, you're going to be fine. Do you watch movies? Like, do you go to movie theater anymore?

or no. I've done that. What? What he's just return back to Earth or something? Do you go to movies? Yeah, he goes to fucking movies. Yes.

I can't see this man going, come on, Christina. We're going to go to the, you know, Lemley and watch the so-and-so. Wait, why? I love movies. Okay.

What's the last movie you saw in the theater? That's a good question. Yeah, yeah. It's been a minute. You know, I saw the naked gun thing in theater. Oh, that was, yeah, that was fun. Did you see one battle?

I just saw it. two days ago. I saw it in a home theater. Yeah. I thought it was fantastic, by the way. What a great movie? I thought it was fantastic. Fantastic. What was? One battle after another. Fantastic. You didn't see it. What? Yes, I did. We spoke to, we spoke about it. And I can't, like, it's all great.

Like, I cannot stop thinking about Sean Penn in that thing. He's fucking, you know, I hate to do this back to the award bullshit, but if he doesn't win anything for that, I have lost hope in all sorts of. Fuck, because he's incredible. He's incredible. He's incredible. He's ripping theater. at the table. We have

that guy's the man he's ripping heaters at the fucking darts at the table and you know they're like Sean you cannot smoke here he's like

get the fuck out of you the thing is sometimes with like I realize this with greats it happens in comedy and it happens in acting

happens in music you get so used to you're like oh yeah that guy like you've known it and then you see something or you hear something

whatever again and you're like oh yeah that's why we talk about this guy this guy's fucking incredible yeah

He's incredible. Since he was a kid. Yeah, which is even more impressive. It's not like there was like, oh, he popped off when he was 45. He's been- Even as Spicoli. Spicoli. Yes.

When you saw that as a kid, you're like, that's something different. Yes. Mr. Hand. He embodies, you know, I mean, it's not, he's not doing a sketch. He really embodies Spicoli in that role. Yeah. If you watch like Mystic River, is that the movie? Yes.

Oh my God, dude. No, everything-incredible. If you, if that guy signs up for your movie, it's something special. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. His, his, his, uh, wait, do you go to the movies? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

This guy's a, I'm a big movie guy. I'm a cinephile. What have you seen recently? I walked out of that, um, the Korean movie. Yeah, what's it one chance? Oh, no other choice. I couldn't, no, I couldn't get behind this character. Well, yeah.

What's one that, another one that you saw that you liked? I, you know, I saw, um, Predator Badlands. You liked it? I thought was great. Really? I thought was really good. You liked it? Yeah.

But no other choice you left. About 80% in the movie. It's just like, this character is so annoying. I couldn't do it. And he gives away his dog. That bothered you. Yeah, that bothered me. Yeah.

Yeah. We shouldn't spoil it, but we just did. Yeah, we just did. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, okay. You'll see it.

You never walked out of a movie, Tom? I've walked out of multiple movies. Yeah, give me a movie that you walked on. House of Gucci. Oh, shit. It's an absolute piece of shit. Really? It's fucking terrible.

You would do the theater watch it? In the theater. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And you were by yourself? I couldn't believe they paid people to be involved. The performance that this is, This fuck gives in this movie.

Who's that? This fucking fuck on the right here. The, uh, Adam Driver. Yeah, oh my God, where you're like, could you not hire a dialect coach? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's like, papa, I love it, it ties. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So bad.

Yeah. And then there's, it's, it's, that's Lady Gaga. That's Lady Gaga. Yeah. And then like, I think it's Ridley Scott directed. Yeah. And you realize this thing happens with directors, and that if you have a certain level, that you achieve and no one can say shit to you,

that you just make these, you're like, the scene's over, you're like, what was that scene all about? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a, I could not feel like a bigger waste of film. I think you should be more collaborative. Or at least- Like, I would listen to an actor, like,

what do you think, you know what I mean? I thought this was- Those guys don't wanna be told shit. Terrible. Yeah, yeah. They've done so much. Yeah. Like I saw another fucking show from Ryan Murphy get previewed called beauty or something

and it's about like beautiful people. And once again, he has managed to like sexualize everything under the sun. I know. It's like this motherfucker. When I was, he hornys up like everything. I was,

because I love his, American horror story. Or like, monster. Oh, yeah. So there's like the famous serial killers. Yeah. You know, the Versace one,

fantastic. Yeah. I think he did, didn't he do Dahmer or two? Wasn't that his? It's really good. The one he did about the Menendez brothers. Oh, Menendez Brothers.

I'm watching it because the Menendez brother won, I'm like, I'm like, you know, I feel like I know some of this story pretty well. And then I'm like, what's up with these guys and just in their cocks being out? It's like, oh, it's Ryan Murphy. Oh, wow, wow, yeah. Everything like sexualizes the shit out of the guy. He hornys up fucking everything. And he wanted to see their cocks as, and he was like, those kids. And then they're sitting there in like the Speedos and the pool and you're like, this is the story of the Menendez brother.

They slain, they shot their parents. in the fucking face. He's like, but show their cocks one more. One more cock shot for these guys. Is that Ryan Murphy? Yeah. Yeah. Power gay.

He's the power gay. I love the power gays, don't you? What did you say? The power gays? Power gay. A gay with a lot of money. Yeah, yeah. It's the best.

You mean Hollywood? Yeah. It's a whole industry. I told you there was a power gay outing every Friday at the IHop. It was a power outage for the gays? Why does he look so mad in his photo? Not enough cock in front of him. Yeah.

So every Friday night I would go to the I hop. I would go to the IHop in West Hollywood. Every Friday night, it would be Brian Singer, Spacey, all the power gaze. Yeah. And they're just like... Power gaze combined with our forces. They're at like two in the morning. We will suck.

Yeah. And I've always wanted to like just listen in. You know what I mean? They were just talking about... Do you think they would hit on you? What? You think they would hit on you? No way.

We need one of you. We haven't had one of you. Yeah, dude. I would rip it in... I would rip it. Yeah. You know what I mean? How's your dick feel?

I don't feel anything yet, do you? No. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It takes 30. No, I think you need to see something to elicit it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So maybe then we'll see something. That doesn't do it.

No, fine. Yeah, that does not do it. Yeah, that jacket's gay. Yeah. So that show beauty is not going to be good. You're saying? No, I'm not saying that. I'm just, and the guy is very talented.

The point I'm making is everything he does, it's like sexy, sexy, fuck, fuck, come. It's like everything. It's like a teenage boy. Yeah, yeah. Like everything about it's like, and that tits or dick come and come. Everything has to be that.

Like even the trailer, you were like, Jesus, fucking Christ. That's all it is. It's like hypersexualized. Yes. That's what he's known for. It's hypersexualized. It's like you've got to tone it down.

Yeah, look at it. Yeah, when you're like, this is the menendez brother. Yeah, dude. No, it was a gay porn. But he's a talented guy. He is talented. Yeah, very talented. That doesn't take it away.

Let's give him that. I said he was very talented. Well, there's a, both things can be true. Yes. The guy is dreaming of kind of. He's 24-7 and he's very talented. Yeah. You're getting that kind of body, huh?

Me? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, your body's getting pretty good. Yeah, he showed me before. Yeah? He goes, don't tell Bobby I'm showing you, but he showed me. I mean, from what you look like 15 years ago? That's a different statement.

So it's much better than 15 years ago. It's still a pile of shit. No, but that's only in your eyes. I've noticed that about me when people go, you look great and I see myself in the mirror. It's a nice cock shot. That's a really good thing. Yeah, yeah. And then I think the guy strokes it, too.

You're thinking about killing mom and dad? It's like what? It's literally this. What's the conversation there? You're like, I remember the Menendez brother story. And then the guy's like, can you imagine if your brother walked in? You'd be like, dude, get the fuck out.

It wouldn't be like this like, hey man, we ran out of soap. I think it's a different guy. Is this a different show? No, it's not his brother. Oh, oh, it's just a different guy. Yeah. That guy's black. Yeah, yeah.

See the shadows. The reverse shot that. You realize, too, that you're like, that rhymer's like, you're going to be Lyle Menendez, and you're like, fucking sweet. Amazing. He's like, all right. So, you know, you set it up, you kill your brother, you kill your parents.

You go to the gym, you're jerking off. What? After I kill my parents? Yeah, right after. You're pretty happy about it. Really hot and heated. Yeah. No, that's how the interview went, he goes, how do you feel about going to play?

They're out coffee. How do you feel about playing Lyle? Kids like, I'm so excited. He's like, that's great. Can I see your cock? It's for the show. Oh, it's for the show? It's for the show.

We need to make sure that your cock is just like Liles. I don't remember that in any of the material. Oh, it was in every trial. They talk about his cock and all the trials. I guess I haven't read the trial. Yeah, we did a lot of research. Okay. So I'm going to have to see your cock.

Right now? Here? Yeah, right here. At Denny's? Yeah, at the I hop on Santa Monica. Okay. I never saw that. No, me neither.

No, that menend his thing. I didn't see it. Yeah. No. You saw it? Yeah. It's hot. Yeah.

It's hot. Good. Long story short. We love all his stuff. He makes great stuff, man. He does. Would you do cock out in a movie? 100%.

Oh, yeah. Why not? Pop a blue shoe. Yeah. Fluff it up. Who doesn't fluff if they're going to be on camera? Oh, brother. Yeah.

Well, mine would be green for the green screen. Right. Yeah, yeah. Do it in post. Do it in post. Yeah, yeah, that's what me. You better do this. Would you do cock out?

You did butt. You did butt for your show. I did butt. Yeah, yeah. I would do cock if with a fluff, like, you know, amendment. Yeah. Well, and you got to get final cut. Give me time before every take to fluff.

Can it be the fluff? You could be the fluff. Yeah, I'll be the fluff. Yeah, yeah. I just show up. That's your gay nightclub name is fluff. Yeah, yeah. Asian fluff is here.

What would you need me to do, though, if I was your fluff? What? Like, what? What's this? Just a little tickle. Okay, okay, okay. A little tickle, a little tickle. Okay, okay.

And a little smack maybe. Yeah, yeah. Just get the blood going. But maybe the blue choose is enough. Yeah, maybe. I think it's got to be. Yeah. Or show me photos.

Actually, mine's actually kind of, you know? Let me see. That Ryan Murphy photo did it. Menendez scene really kicked it up in full gear. Leave that photo up for him. Yeah, just put a shirtless boy in front of an American flag form. That's not going to do. Can I tell you something?

Yeah, yeah. I got nothing right. Either do I. I got nothing either. The pipes are old, let it get down there. Yeah. Can I want to ask you guys some advice about shooting my first special, all right? Right before you go on, are you nervous?

Yeah, I think there should be. You should have, it's healthy to have some nervous because it's meaningful to you. It's meaningful to you. So you should have some nervous. But you also know that you've done this a fucking 10,000 times. Right. You're going to kill it. More.

More. Yeah, okay. So, okay, so that, and then, have you ever messed up on a bit? Like, oh my God. Yeah. And then what do you do? You're going to tape another one, right? I'm doing four.

There you go. Okay. You don't have to think about it. So that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And don't forget. And then rhythm. Here's the other thing.

Don't forget this. You can piece together different shows, dude. Yeah, four shots. You can cut it up. Four shots is a lot. It's a lot. Yeah, yeah. You can cut it up.

One of the shows I'm going to go wild. Do you know which one? The last one. I was gonna say, don't do it for the first one. Yeah, the last one I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go crazy. Can I tell you something else? There's nothing, I said Wong because I was talking to you. Nothing wrong.

Nothing wrong with looking like you're actually trying. You know what I mean? Like some people are like married to the idea of like making sure they're cool or whatever. Oh, no, not me. I'm gonna be sweating. Trying is not a bad thing. No, I'm gonna try. Yeah.

Have you ever seen this guy? He tries. Yeah. I've never seen you not try. Yeah, yeah. You've never mailed it in. Yeah, I'm not going to mail it in. Well, so it's never, it's not your style anyway.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't mail it in. You always give, you give a performance, whether it's five people or 5,000 people. It doesn't matter. I'll tell you this. If you feel great after the first one, canceled the final three. Are you being real? No.

No. No. You know what's money it is? Yeah, don't do that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My set design, I got out. Did you do a set design on yours? Do you like a couch and six and.

No, no, no, no, no. I mean, like some people just use it like a, like a, you know what I mean, like a drape or whatever. Yeah, a curtain. What do you have? A forest. Little Zen garden.

Like a Zen garden. Yeah. Nice. And he's gonna rake in the middle of it. He does like a little rake. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You have some feng shui kind of shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Bonsetree the whole thing, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's tight, dude. I got one fly and chopsticks. It's gonna be great. That's fucking, yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you doing the headband? No, I'm not. Because that's racial.

What are you talking about? I don't know. I don't know. So you have a Netflix special? You want to promote that? Yes, dude. The special is called Teacher. It's out now on Netflix.

Please check it out. It was super fucking fun to do. I shot it in Milwaukee. And, yeah, it's number six. I'm thrilled with it. Amazing. It's awesome. Awesome.

And also the second season. Second season of Bad Thoughts. The Bad Thoughts is going to be coming out when? Summer? May. Oh, my God. In May. Fast.

Fast. The movie? The movie is done. It's, I don't know if it comes out. Kirk Fox. Frankie Cuenotis is it? I know that. Frankie Cignonis is in it. Luke Wilson, Tim Baltz, Arturo Castro,

Genesis Rodriguez, myself, and Raul Trujillo, fucking incredible. Amazing. Please go watch Teacher on Netflix. Please, and also Il Tigre coming out and Bad Thought Season 2 in May.

The Kid is a Netflix machine. Baddum, if you will. Will you say thank you for being a bad friend? Thank you for being a bad friend. Woo!