Bad Friends - Bobby's Hopecore Era

Starting point is 00:00:00 This episode of Bad Friends is presented and fueled by Huell, your go-to for complete nutrition. Try Huell with 15% off today using code BADFRIENDS at my.huell.com slash BADFRIENDS. You two are bad friends! Who are these two idiots? Woo-hoo! White dude and Asian dude. Woo-hoo! You two are disgusting.

Starting point is 00:00:19 Woo-hoo! Well, you two are something. We're bad friends. You look like a Real Madrid's towel boy. Like what's the shirt you're wearing? Ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha.

Starting point is 00:00:30 It wasn't a good joke, that's why. So good. No, it wasn't good. No, it was really good. You just did that laugh. Yeah, if you do, if I'm not being funny. Do that. Today?

Starting point is 00:00:38 Yeah. Everyone do that laugh. All right. And I will do the same. All right, thank you. Ha ha ha ha ha. You do one. Do your fake laugh. Yeah. Ha ha ha ha. You do one. Do your fake laugh.

Starting point is 00:00:45 Yeah. Ha ha ha ha. Yes, yes. That hurts the most. All right, all right. The velocity and the energy behind that is so. So Pete's wife cooked us some cookies. Nothing to eat it.

Starting point is 00:00:59 Oh, that was me. I baked them. You said your wife. No, no, that was me. I baked them. Oh, I don't want this. Oh no, no, they're good. Oh yeah. Try them. No, no, no, me. I baked them. Oh, I don't want this. Oh no, they're good. Oh yeah. Try them.

Starting point is 00:01:07 No, no, no, no. Well in the middle, what is it? Go ahead. It's a Hershey's kiss. Ooh. Well thank you. Can you put this, I don't like the smell. Do you want this?

Starting point is 00:01:16 You want one? Yeah, yeah. Good catch. What are those called? What are these called? Peanut butter blossoms. You want one sweetheart? I have nicotine in my mouth.

Starting point is 00:01:25 God bless, dude. God bless you. God bless, dude. I'm gonna have a little taste of Pete's. I haven't eaten in 24 hours. Why? Because I took the last bit of my ozimpec. Wow, Pete.

Starting point is 00:01:37 But, everybody else. This is bad. Oh, man. I can tell, they look bad. Yeah, they look bad and they smell bad. And I'm gonna finish it. Because I need to poop today, I haven't pooped and I know this will make it happen.

Starting point is 00:01:46 And if you're gonna finish it, it's really good. Yeah? Very good. Yeah. I'll take a bite. No, eat a whole one. I cracked a tooth. I'll...

Starting point is 00:01:57 Okay, thank you. Yeah, it caught us eating. Yeah. This is the holidays. Oh, nice. Mm, peanut butter. Yeah. Nice. Yeah. This is the holidays. Oh, nice. Mmm, peanut butter. Yeah. Nice. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:02:09 Really good stuff, Pete. It's really good. Are you a baker? Is that your side hobby? I cook, I bake, yeah. Yep. Do you watch the Great British Bake Off? Oh, I sure do, every season.

Starting point is 00:02:20 Really? Who won this season? I didn't watch this season. By the way, the most shocking win. We can talk about it. I didn't have her on my top to win. I had bring up the cast, the young, good looking kid who was beautiful.

Starting point is 00:02:33 But did you see what happened to him at the end of the episode? Yeah. What? What do you mean? They showed like- He fucked up. No, after that, they show like what they're up to now.

Starting point is 00:02:42 Oh yeah, yeah, he's working at a Michelin restaurant. That's beautiful. He's fine. You know Paul Hollywood called somebody. 100%. Yeah, yeah. He got four handshakes. Yeah, he was amazing. So- Okay, out of our show, out of you and I.

Starting point is 00:02:53 Okay. You're Paul Hollywood and I'm Prue. No, dude, that's not true. I'm Paul Hollywood? No, I'm that black lady that does the jokes. The great British bike show. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're her? No, really, you think I'm Paul Hollywood? I guess you Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're her?

Starting point is 00:03:05 No, really, you think I'm Paul Hollywood. I guess you're right, I am Paul Hollywood. You're Pollywood for sure. You're Pollywood. Boom, baby. I give the shakes. Yeah, no, you are Prue because you look like her. Bring up Prue.

Starting point is 00:03:15 This is actually what Bobby looks like. This is genuine, that's Bobby. That's you. Look up, yeah, the third photo is. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. That's not you? That's not me.

Starting point is 00:03:27 That little eccentric woman is not you. That's a hundred. I guess maybe. If you were an old white woman, that would be you. Yeah, if I was an old white woman, I would be that, yes. That's what the fuck we're doing! Yeah.

Starting point is 00:03:36 That's what the fuck this is! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! Ha, ha, ha, ha! Okay, so anyway, so, but here's the thing about the, he didn't have a good day. Who didn't, oh yeah, he didn't, no, he didn't do, He didn't have a good day. Bring his name up again, I forget his name, the cast.

Starting point is 00:03:56 He's my favorite though, he's, He's so good. Really handsome guy, yeah, Dylan's a man. This guy is a great baker. And you know who likes him a lot? Who? Rudy. She's nodding already pervert. Yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:04:06 Zoom in on that guy. He's gorgeous. He's gorgeous. Not a great photo. No, no, just give me some other photos. Yeah, yeah, not that photo. He honestly, he's such a good baker. He's so good.

Starting point is 00:04:17 And he's so humble. Yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah, he's very good looking. He's cute, he's cute. And he's strong. He's in great shape. But he's also weird. That's why I like him. He's a little eccentric. He's cute, he's cute. And he's strong. He's in great shape. But he's also weird.

Starting point is 00:04:26 I like, so I like him. He's a little eccentric. I like him like that. Yeah. You don't want him to be, look at that photo. Put the kid in a movie. Yeah, when Paul Hollywood does handshakes to him, he waits too long to shake it back.

Starting point is 00:04:38 Yeah, I think he's nervous. So Paul Hollywood would be like, Yeah. And then this guy goes. He's so, he's so. I know, but my point is, you shake it right away! You shake it right away. When Andrew shakes your hand, you shake it right away!

Starting point is 00:04:52 Shake it right away. You know better. Good forearms for baking. Kid's got great ham. Yeah. Look at that. And he's got good flavor. Great flavor.

Starting point is 00:05:00 What's his thing? His thing is flavor. Unique flavors. Unique flavors. All right. We're bored, we're bored. Okay, anyway, no, I don't think we are. I don't think we are. Well, it's for you and me.

Starting point is 00:05:07 It doesn't matter. I think the people at home wanna know what we watch. Look at that, his mom is Indian and his father is Japanese Belgian. Wow. And they showed a video of the family, the most wholesome fucking family on earth. These people are wonderful.

Starting point is 00:05:19 Let me see the family. I never saw it. Do the family. They showed a video of him with his family. I'll show you, I know wholesome. But that girl is the one that won, by the way. But They showed a video of him with his family. I'll show you. I know wholesome. But that girl is the one that won, by the way. But she had a good day, that's all.

Starting point is 00:05:29 Yeah, but she wasn't my home run. He was my home run all season. Okay, do you know what a Hope Corps is? Is it a thing online? I know Hope Corps. I don't like it. I'll tell you what, when you do is when you do, you act as if I'm not from this planet, that I don't have the same kind of social media you have.

Starting point is 00:05:49 It's just, I see you and I see an old. An old what? An old man. Yeah. And Hope Corps is my generation. Oh really? Well then why don't you explain it to us. Yes, explain to us Hope Corps.

Starting point is 00:06:02 Side note, do you see an old man when you see me? No. Fuck yeah. Different. What an old man when you see me? No. Fuck yeah. Different. What do you see when you see me? Like early thirties. I'll take it. See what she's doing?

Starting point is 00:06:13 She couldn't even look in you in your eyes. She looked me right in the eye. I had to look up and down to say. I'm gonna say this and I'm gonna speak on her behalf. This is what she wanted to say. It's weird. You're like much younger than Bobby, but you guys look the same age.

Starting point is 00:06:26 Right. That's what her eyes said. That's what her eyes said? No. You guys look like very different. Thank you. So I look way older than him. I mean, you just look like an old Asian. Asian, yeah.

Starting point is 00:06:39 Asians age in a different way. Whites get uglier, you just get old Asian. Okay. Yeah. Look at, look, look, look, look, look. uglier, you just get old age. Okay. Yeah. Look at, look, look, look, look, look. Oh, now that's a good looking old Asian. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You could never. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:06:52 Is your hair gonna get white like that? Yeah. Oh, that's cool. And he's like thinking of lotus flowers and grasshoppers. When you get old, an Asian man will only, what do they think about? Taking long walks. Long walks, putting their hands behind their back. Behind their back.

Starting point is 00:07:08 It has to be attached. Has to. Because watch, when a Korean man unattaches it, he stops walking. They'll fall over. They'll fall over. It's all about weight. So, yeah.

Starting point is 00:07:17 Right? They think about what? Long walks, grasshoppers. Grasshoppers, right. Lotus flowers. Lotus flowers. A bamboo arrangement. They love bamboo arrangements. Bonsai trees.

Starting point is 00:07:29 Clipping. Dude, have an old Asian man walk by a bonsai tree. They'll be clipping. That's why they have clippers in their fucking pockets. All old Asian men. Just in case. If I walk by a bonsai tree, dude, you'll see me clipping all day long. He'll be clipping. I'll be clipping clipping This is more of your stock right there. This is me. This is me walking down. You're right. This is me walking down You can't resist I can't resist it dude, what if I see dude a lotus flower, dude Well, if I see a grasshopper I do this they jump right on my finger. They have to yeah. Yeah Isn't that like to and then we philosophize Yeah, right

Starting point is 00:08:07 We always philosophize another thing that all Korean men think of is mountains But these shit they love running up in the how do you know about mountains? I'm career How do you know about us? I'm Korean. Oh my god, and and tea they love It's gotta be some herb you never heard of of. And you know what else they love? Oh, fuck, here we go. They love a good babbling brook, running water. Love just a little like, little bubbles of water, right?

Starting point is 00:08:34 A babbling brook to an Asian guy is. And the last thing they think about, I'll tell you, is, and this is a deep cut, but this is so true, two dollar fucky fuckies. Two dollar fucky fucky, dude. Because, you know, for old Korean men, inflation this is so true. $2 fucky fuckies. $2 fucky fucky, dude. Because for old Korean men, inflation isn't a thing. It's not. Yeah. And it shouldn't. We're going to pay what we pay in the 1950s. But it's inflation. I don't care. $2. Don't care. That's all he has. You know why? That's what the American government created the $2 bill. What? For

Starting point is 00:09:02 $2 fucky fuckies. For the fucky fucky. And people don't realize that. Yeah. They created it right during the Vietnam War. They did. Yeah, and they're so hard to cash in because they're rare. They're very rare. It's a trick almost. It is. So the prosecutor goes, I can't cash this in.

Starting point is 00:09:16 Right? And they frame them. They always frame them. They keep them. I actually have a lot of them if you want some. Well, how did you get so many? Kirk Fox. He's, oh that makes sense. King of $2 fucky. King of $2 fucky. I see them in the lot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'll of them if you want some. Well, how did you get so many? Kirk Fox. He's, oh, that makes sense.

Starting point is 00:09:25 King of $2 fucking. King of $2. I've seen them in the lot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'll give them to you, you can use them. I've just been sitting them in my room. All right, well give them to us. Okay, give them to me.

Starting point is 00:09:33 You know, there's, what's his name does that? He prints his own $2 bill. So what's the guy that's- Who does this? One of the Microsoft guys. What's one of the Microsoft guys' $2, huh? Bomber, Steve Bomber? Just type in Microsoft $2 bill.

Starting point is 00:09:47 No, no, what's the eccentric guy? Woj... What are you talking about, guys? No, maybe it's the Apple guy. What's the guy? Steve Wozniak. Woj. Did he print his own? Look at this. Steve Wozniak prints his own $2 bills. Go back to Google search.

Starting point is 00:10:00 There he is. Go down. Yeah. Yeah, there you go. Steve Wozniak's probated. Well, that's good. Go down. Yeah. Yeah, there you go. Steve Wozniak's probated. Well, that's good. Let's move on. Um.

Starting point is 00:10:09 Ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. Anyway, uh.

Starting point is 00:10:16 Ha ha ha ha. Wow, write that down, guys. Steve Wozniak does a $2 mail. Let's go. Ha ha ha ha. Wow. Do something else. Hope Corps. Let's go. Wow. Do something else. Hope Corps.

Starting point is 00:10:26 Let's go back to Hope Corps. Explain to people what Hope Corps is. We'll just cut that out, Andrew. Sometimes even the king misses. Anyway. Oh. Oh. Tell us about Hope Corps.

Starting point is 00:10:41 Jesus Christ. All I do on this show. All I do is set us up for material and jokes. Yeah, bam bam bam bam. Go ahead. Unreal. Unreal today. I wish we had a buzzer. Okay. But anyway, explain to us what Hopecore is.

Starting point is 00:10:59 What is it? Okay, Hopecore, on TikTok, it's always with a soft, peaceful audio. And then the video is mountains or beautiful scenery. And there's always quotes about like. That's not it. What is it then? And the quotes are always hopeful. And that's Hopecore.

Starting point is 00:11:18 Yeah, that's not it. But anyway. What is it then? It's a montage of videos that make you feel like hopeful and so but they include Some of that but they mostly include like soldiers coming home or you mean or a dog yearning Yeah, or friends reuniting and stuff like that. Right? So but here's the thing When I watch hope core video, are you doing this board thing now? Are you mad about are you mad about the steve wasniak $2 bill thing? No, there's something

Starting point is 00:11:47 I can see you processing Steve Wozniak. Let's how about this? Let's pause Hope Corps Let's go back to the $2 bill. So tell us about Steve Wozniak Go ahead toss about I'm so curious now. I don't want to hurt your feelings. What happened Steve Wozniak? You scared him pussy last night. No, a good mood because you got a little pussy? No, no, no. So Steve Wozniak. It's because he's off Ozempic. Yeah, so Steve Wozniak.

Starting point is 00:12:08 Go back on it. So Steve Wozniak, he prints his own $2 bills, hey? Does he really? I don't know, you're the one that told us. I had no idea. Okay. How did you know about this? Because you told us this five minutes ago.

Starting point is 00:12:19 I did? Yeah. I've never heard of this before in my life. This thing that you're doing is very interesting. I've never seen you do this style of comedy. Wait, no, what? Of complete denial. I don't know what you're talking about. Yeah, yeah, doing is very interesting. I've never seen you do this style of comedy. Wait, no, what? Of complete denial. I don't know what you're talking about.

Starting point is 00:12:26 Yeah, yeah, it's a reversal. Go back to Steve Wozniak, please. Why are you obsessed with Steve Wozniak? Okay, okay. So let's go back to Hope Corps. Yeah, that's so strange. We're talking about Hope Corps. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:12:38 Very odd to bring that up. What are you doing right now, dude? This is an interesting thing. Weird thing. What you're doing right now is very weird and it's kind of pissing me off. Is it really? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:12:48 What's going on? Well, I'll tell you why, because you put a halt to some of the things I say sometimes. Do I? Yeah, and when I do it to you, right, you have a nervous breakdown in your mind. Do I? Yeah, you did one, your face went all pale,

Starting point is 00:13:03 and when we were talking, you were like this. Like. Like, yeah. Yeah, you were talking to yourself. What was I saying? Like, I thought that, oh, of course, that was gonna be a good idea. You know, by the way, Bobby did that,

Starting point is 00:13:18 that was long on going forward. I just, you know, this is fucking weird. Is this your internal monologue or mine? I was reading your. It sounds like it's yours. I was reading your, what, see this thing you're doing? I love it. Yeah?

Starting point is 00:13:27 Yeah. Let's get the resentment out. So, because I don't want to continue the show without- Oh, I, I, I- See this thing, I've never seen one! I'm in good- Have you ever seen him do this? Good spirit.

Starting point is 00:13:37 Have you ever seen him do a fucking fentanyl nod? It's the new chair. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's like this fentanyl- I get a new chair, I get a new chair and I'm okay. So um So anyway the $2 you trying to rock you watch He was the act Built a machine So anyway, um, they're watching you not know how to not be able to rock in that chair is so funny

Starting point is 00:14:04 Don't get jealous because daddy be rocking. Yeah? Look. Oh, you think you could thrust better than me? Dude, I can thrust you, dude. Uh, uh. You're okay. All right, that's enough.

Starting point is 00:14:14 So I've been watching Hope Corps videos. Honestly, you and I have sent them to each other before. I do actually love them. Yeah, but the thing is is that. Make me cry. At the end of the day, after every video I think to myself, I would not react like that. Like for instance, friends that I've been seeing 25 years

Starting point is 00:14:29 or 30 years, they cry, they hug. Dude, if you and I were separated for 15 years and then all of a sudden we reunited. Oh, I would cry. I would absolutely cry. 100%, 15 years? That's so long. I would cry too. No, you fucking would. No, you would so long. I would cry too.

Starting point is 00:14:45 No, you fucking would. No, you wouldn't. I think I would cry too. It's fine if you wouldn't, I just definitely would. It would depend of why I was gone for 15 years. Like if I was in an internment camp, I think that there's a lot of emotions that would come up like, oh my God, I'm seeing people for the first time,

Starting point is 00:14:59 I haven't eaten either. Well, why did you go in the first place? What did you do? I lied, I was Japanese. Yeah, yeah, yeah, so that happens. You just I lied, I was Japanese. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what happens. You just wanted free rent for a while. Yeah, yeah, but anyway, I don't think,

Starting point is 00:15:09 I think I would be like, oh, I would be like, if I see somebody, a friend of mine for 30 years, I'd be like, oh. That's it. Okay. I think that's it. At the end of the show, when the show is done, when we stop shooting the show, let's not see each other for 15 years and then we'll see what it's like. Let's see if the payoff is's it. At the end of the show, when this show is done, when we stop shooting this show,

Starting point is 00:15:25 let's not see each other for 15 years and then we'll see what it's like. Let's see if the payoff is worth it. I'm down. Okay, but here's another thing I wanna say. 30 even maybe. 30 years. Okay, let's try.

Starting point is 00:15:35 Can you get there? No, no. You can die. No, first of all, he's not. Bobby's gonna live. I already told you, I spoke to my- I've never regretted something more in my life than what? Then calling you out on the $2

Starting point is 00:15:51 The Steve Wiser act I've never regretted something more it was very funny. No, no, no, I can see your eyes I've never oh my god fucked up, dude. Well Well. I can't believe that you're so upset about it. It's insane. Oh my God. So anyway, but here's another- I love you so much. Here's another hope, Carthage. And I don't ever want to not see you.

Starting point is 00:16:14 Okay. So there's, you know, the soldier's coming home. Soldier comes home. Yeah. Surprises his eight year old kid at school. He's blindfolded, right? Yeah, sometimes he's blindfolded. Love those.

Starting point is 00:16:26 Kid freaks out, cries, daddy jumps on top, right? Yeah. But my dad? Then I always think to my, I'm home! Right? Mm-hmm. I'd be like, ah! You know what I mean?

Starting point is 00:16:39 I would have like run, you know what I mean? Yeah, you don't wanna be near that. Yeah, so it's like, whenever I see Hope Corps videos and I relate it to my own life, they wouldn't happen. Bring up a Hope Corps so we can watch one and maybe it'll inspire us in a different way. The ones with the words I think are great. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:16:53 Right, oh, this is- Happy birthday to you. Thank you. How old are you? Two. Two years ago I got sent some. Transformed. From who?

Starting point is 00:17:04 From a 26 year old kid in Baltimore, Maryland. What makes you think? Oh Let's play that back with us Wow, let's play that back with us. Okay, That's fucking beautiful. Yeah, yeah. I got, I got stem, stem shell replacement from Mike Driscoll. Buddy, buddy, buddy. Buddy, you're an old Korean man in the restaurant. Why do those? Why did you go to that? Because I'm just mimicking that guy. Do your own version. You're an old Korean man. Yeah, but I'm not playing Mike Driscoll. I'm saying I got-

Starting point is 00:17:50 I'm Mike Driscoll! I know, so I got, I'm the guy, so I got stem cells from Mike Driscoll. Sure. So why can't I say that as the Asian man? That's what I'm asking you to do. Didn't I just do that? You didn't do Asian, you did a southern guy.

Starting point is 00:18:06 That was not Asian. It wasn't Asian? You were like, I got my stem sales. Is that new Asian? If it's new Asian, that's fine. It's new Asian. All right, fine. Be new Asian.

Starting point is 00:18:16 I say I say. Dude, what are you doing? I say I say I got stem sales. I say I say um. Listen up, cowboy. Shoot I say, I say um. Listen up, cowboy. Shoot them up, bang them up. Anyway, man, I got, why am I celebrating? Oh, you're Ken Patterson now.

Starting point is 00:18:33 Yeah, why am I celebrating? Oh, years ago, man, some guy gave me some stem cells, research, and it was Mike Grisco. What did he give you? Stem cells in my spine. What was his name? Mike Grisco. It's funny, because I have the same name. What did he give you? Stimpsils in my spine. What was his name? My Driscoll. It's funny, cause I have the same name.

Starting point is 00:18:49 Oh, anyway. I mean, that's- This is Bobby. Anyway, can I get the breadstick? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And even if I was like, I would be like, oh, you're the guy? You're the guy?

Starting point is 00:19:00 I'm the guy. All right. That's it. What if he saw him and he was like, I don't like the way you look. Imagine he's like, you know, somebody saved my life. Okay, I'm the guy. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:19:11 Yeah, you say, I'm Tony Oksko. All right, you got it. I was gonna say how funny this guy was racist. He's the black guy, he's like, it's for me. He's like, I don't want these stem cells anymore. Yeah. And he takes a knife and starts stabbing his spine to get it out.

Starting point is 00:19:25 God damn it. How do you get the shit out of my spine? Right. And he oozes into a fucking huge. Right. And then he gets a back to him. Here you go, black guy. Here you go. You won't leave. He's a stump salesman. Yeah. And it make me jump. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's I knew I had sickle cell. So anyway, um, yeah, yeah. It's, I knew I had sickle cell. So anyway, um. This glaucoma was kicking in.

Starting point is 00:19:49 That's interesting. But see how happy, would you be excited? Oh yeah, dude, if somebody saved my fucking. All right, here we go, let's play it out. You don't have to. Do it. You're the guy now, you're the one that's telling everyone that you had stelsum, stelsum, stelsum, stelsum, stelsum. I're the guy now. You're the one that's telling everyone that you had stem cell, stem cell, stem cell, stem cell.

Starting point is 00:20:06 I had stem cell. See, I'm right. I just said it wrong. Okay. Yeah. I had squim squels. I had stem cells put in me by a guy from Baltimore, 26 year old.

Starting point is 00:20:19 That's the only reason I'm here today because of Mike Driscoll. Hey man, I'm Mike Driscoll. You are? Yeah, man. From Baltimore, because of Mike Driscoll. Hey man, I'm Mike Driscoll. You are? Yeah man. From Baltimore, you're Mike Driscoll from? Yeah man. Really?

Starting point is 00:20:31 Yeah, I'm the, my stem cells. It's from you? Yeah man. Wow. Yeah. How did you know I was here? You followed me? This feels a little invasive.

Starting point is 00:20:40 Well, I follow all my stem cells. Why? I wanted to- Yeah, you're not the only one man that, I follow all my stem cells. Why? I wanted to- You're not the only one man that has stem cells, my stem cells. I have stem cells in every city in America. You spread around your stem cells? Yeah, so every, I follow all of them around, man.

Starting point is 00:20:54 I want to know where my cells are at, dog. Well, it's great to meet you. Yeah, thank you, man. How are they working out for you? Good, I think. Good. Yeah. Yeah, well, how about a thank you?

Starting point is 00:21:03 How about it? Thank you. You're welcome. You're welcome, sir think. Good. Yeah. Yeah, well, how about a thank you? How about it? Thank you. You're welcome. You're welcome, sir. Just confused. I'll see you next month. I'll see you, dude. Thanks for coming, dude.

Starting point is 00:21:11 And he goes all over the country. I do like this. I like these videos. Yeah, Hope Corps. Don't you like them? I like that. Give me another Hope Corps that's gonna make you feel. I love, we love Hope Corps.

Starting point is 00:21:19 We love Hope Corps. We're into Hope Corps. You're watching this at night when you get sad. I know you are. I cry every, no, I don't like this cancer ones. No, the cancer ones are okay. I don't like the cancer ones. No, no, don't do this.

Starting point is 00:21:28 They break my heart too much. Kids' cancer is gonna make me fucking lose my, Yeah, yeah, it makes me cry. Get it off. Yeah. Kids' cancer is gonna kill me. It breaks my heart when the dad shaves his head. Why are you laughing?

Starting point is 00:21:38 What are you laughing at? You're insane, Carlos. You are insane, dude. Yeah. You're insane. What? They're already going. You don't have to do it. You're bald anyway. Yeah, so're in say what they're already going you don't have to do it your bald ass anyway Yeah, so it's like yeah, dude. How funny would a whole core video be yeah of a cancer patient and Carlos is shaving the sides of his head That's insane just decide their bolts just crying

Starting point is 00:22:01 That's insane, just the size. And they're both just crying, and he's gaving the fucking size of his head. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Rocket Money. Rocket Money. Rocket Money. Rocket Money saves you money, and if you don't wanna save money, that's dumb.

Starting point is 00:22:11 That's so dumb to not save money. Rocket Money is so good. I save so much money because I have so many subscriptions on my phones and stuff like that, and Rocket Money, they help me follow everything. Player. There's a dashboard, I can look at everything, it's great.

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Starting point is 00:26:53 There are ones I don't like though. What are the ones I don't like? There's some... I'll tell you what I don't like. I'll tell you what pisses me off on the internet. Yeah. Excuse me, could you help me with a dollar? And someone else, why'd you decide to help me today? Oh, you just needed a dollar and I said, well, I want to bless you because you blessed me. There's a thousand dollars cash. This guy, I don't like this game. I don't like that.

Starting point is 00:27:14 I don't fucking like it. It's a good game. We don't like it, do we? No. What bothers us about it though? I can't explain. I was trying to say that the other day. I was like, why does this bother me?

Starting point is 00:27:22 Because I'll tell you why. I'll tell you why it bothers me. Tell me. Because now I'm giving every homeless guy a dollar just in case I run into that guy. Right, I'm giving everyone a dollar. Yeah, now I'm like, is it the guy? Where's the guy? All the way, yeah, and I never see the guy.

Starting point is 00:27:34 I've just been hanging out at Target all week waiting for this guy. I think that's why. Why does it bother you, Jules? I think because you're then just faking. Yeah. Faking it. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:27:44 Who's faking it? Like myself, cause you're thinking like, oh I have to do this in case someone's video, like recording. Well and they're video taping. That's what I don't like about it. The video of it all. The video.

Starting point is 00:27:54 Look how good I am. But, let me say something. I see a lot of dudes don't tip, I mean they don't give money. So maybe it's gonna force people to give money. I guess, I mean, what's the nicest thing you've done and nobody knows, because it wasn't recorded, nobody knows, you never really talk about it.

Starting point is 00:28:08 Well, if I talk about it now, then people are going to know. Well, what's a good moment for you? So one time, and this really happened, I was at a 7-Eleven, the one right down the street, this one right here. Okay. Right, right? And there was a homeless man and he had a bunch of garbage in his, in my clothes, not garbage, you know what I mean? But on top of his like, wheel, what do you call it?

Starting point is 00:28:28 Like a cart? Like a car, like a cart, yeah. He had an album, no, no, no, no, a record album, an album of photo, right? It was funny that you just didn't leave with photo album. It is weird to be like, he has an album. I'm like, oh shit, it was a music. He's like, no, no, no.

Starting point is 00:28:46 But when I opened it, I did open it because there was nothing in it. Oh my God. There was no pictures in it. No photo? Yeah, yeah. I didn't open it to put my headshot in like, I hear you, girl.

Starting point is 00:28:57 You're so funny. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, but no. So I left a hundred bucks in there. That's funny. I opened it, I put it in there and it closed and I left and it never said anything. I love that. I've done little things like that before. I love that. What about you?

Starting point is 00:29:11 One time I got cash from a gig I was working and it was a pretty substantial amount of cash and I gave the envelope to a person that I used to see a lot in my old neighborhood. Oh, that's cool. Yeah, he wasn't like a big thank you. That was a lot of money, man. All right. I actually was like, did you? Because he was like, oh, thanks, man. Good to see you. I was like, good to see you, man. And I kept being like... Yeah, I know. I get it.

Starting point is 00:29:40 It's a fucking, it was a lot of cash. A lot, right. Yeah, it was a bunch of cash. And I thought it was the holiday season. I thought this is a, it was when I used to live in West Hollywood. I saw this guy all the time and I thought, this is gonna make his fucking, this is gonna make his fucking holiday.

Starting point is 00:29:54 He probably has family he can't see or can buy gifts now. And he kind of, he was just like, oh, thank you so much. And he kept holding it. And he didn't really like look at how much. So I waited a little bit to be like, what's in there? You know what I mean? A parent on Christmas, open it up. All right, so when it was Guttermucker, that movie.

Starting point is 00:30:14 So I did a movie in Montana, Butte, Montana, with Eleanor Kerrigan and Leslie Jones. And the weekends, there was nothing going on and we're there for a month, right? Yeah. So we go, I said to Leslie, I go, let's do shows. So there's a theater in town and we called the theater and like we're in town.

Starting point is 00:30:35 They're like, yeah, we sold all of them out. Of course. Okay. There's no comedy club there. And at the end, we gave the money to the crew. That's so cool. And when you're doing that many shows, I mean, you're talking about almost eight, $10,000.

Starting point is 00:30:49 A lot of money. A lot of money, right? Only two crew members thanked me. Fuck off. That's it? Yeah. And I would even walk by like the sound guy and go, hey, what's up?

Starting point is 00:31:00 As he's micing you. And they're like, what are you doing here? And you're like, good show last couple of nights, right? He's like, yeah, it was good. Did you like it, like it? Did you like it, like it? Yeah, I go, did you get the food truck? Cause you know, the food truck, yeah, the food,

Starting point is 00:31:11 yeah, we've got acai books, we get food trucks too. Yeah. No, thank you. Nothing. Yeah. Well, you never work with that fucking crew again. But it made me mad. So it's the same thing as yours.

Starting point is 00:31:20 It just, it just, you want it. I don't want anything big, but you, I did want him to be like, brother, thank you. This is like a big deal. He was just- Like something. Well, cause I used to give him money all the time. So maybe he just thought it was just, but I would give him money a lot.

Starting point is 00:31:32 When I'd walk home from the store, I would give him money. I saw the same, it's the same guy. He's probably still fucking there. He watches the show. What have you guys done nice? Well, when I first moved to LA, I lived by this, I'll give her more time to think. Give her time to think.

Starting point is 00:31:46 Yeah, you said do something nice and she was like, fuck, fuck, fuck. What is it gonna be? Yeah, yeah. One time I didn't kill something and... Yeah, yeah. And the spider... I could kill it, but I didn't.

Starting point is 00:31:58 Spider said thank you. All right, one time you what babe? Well, I got discouraged helping when I moved out here because I lived by this Taco Bell and I had no money But I had it just a little bit and I gave my food to this guy who was sitting outside And he I was like trying to give it to him and he just goes I don't want that shit and then he lit up a crack fight By the way, that's the same guy that I gave the cash to say, but let me ask you something

Starting point is 00:32:23 What would you rather have, Taco Bell or crack? Well, I don't know where to get the crack in LA. I'm not even gonna lie to you, right? I don't move there. That seems pretty close. That's like- You think so? Taco Bell is crack to me. You clearly have never had crack.

Starting point is 00:32:38 You've never had crack. It's way better than Taco Bell. Get me some crack. Well, by the way, when I do smoke crack, I will end up at a Taco Bell at some point. And when I smoke crack, I do the Diablo sauce on it. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Starting point is 00:32:50 Yeah. Jules? Can I have a Dos Ritos Los Crackos? The packets like slap yo' bitch. Smack a ho' this Christmas with Taco Bell. Jules, do you have? Not like you guys. I haven't done really like a big like.

Starting point is 00:33:04 It doesn't need to be a big, the point that we're making in this Hopecore episode is that it doesn't have to be a big gesture, it can be small. Okay, let's do a small thing so she can think about that because what we did was grand, giving a lot of money. What small thing? Give me a tiny one. I know you do them all the time, I see you do them.

Starting point is 00:33:22 I'll give you one. Well, I do one that drives comics crazy. If I tell you what this is. Tipping in the lot? It's gonna drive you crazy. Do you think you'll get crazy after I tell you what I'm about to tell you? Well, it sounds like it.

Starting point is 00:33:34 Yeah, yeah, yeah. So what I do is if I see somebody that has potential of doing comedy, I try to talk them into it. I fucking hate that so fucking much. That pisses me off. I do that. Don't do that. It's. That pisses me off. Don't do that. I did it Friday night.

Starting point is 00:33:47 Stop giving hope. Don't point at me. I've been doing this 12 years. Yeah, not her. Who did you do that to? A friend of mine that's a YouTuber. Stop it. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:33:56 Let people make up their own decisions. You know what it's like? You're in the program. Starting comedy is like AA. They have to want to do it. They have to want to go. Let them go. Don't fucking force them into AA. Don't force them into comedy. Yeah, they have to want to do it. They have to want to go. Let them go.

Starting point is 00:34:05 Don't fucking force them into AA. Don't force them into comedy. They have to ruin their life first. Kevin Christie. Exactly. Kevin Christie. Yeah. He's in comedy. He's in stand up.

Starting point is 00:34:14 I did talk to him into it. Oh. What do you mean? Oh, you mean when he was thinking about it, you told him to. Long time ago, I talked to him into it. There's a lot of guys that are still doing it today because I talked to them into it. So don't tell me about what you're telling me about. Now Jules, go ahead. Well my friend.

Starting point is 00:34:31 I swear to God, dude. You know what, let's stop, let's push. All right, hold on. All right. All right. Dude. Dude, dude. I'll tell you how this happened.

Starting point is 00:34:42 Wait, hold on. Time out real fast. Let me tell you something that you do that I noticed that is something small. Yeah, tell me, tell me. That's very nice. Okay. Bobby will see a fan see him in public somewhere

Starting point is 00:34:52 and can tell that they wanna say something. This is I'm being genuine, I'm being honest. And if they look too nervous or whatever, he'll make eye contact with them on purpose and go over to them to like make them feel comfortable to say hi. You'll deliberately, you will do that a lot. And that's very nice. Cause a lot of times people will want to say hi,

Starting point is 00:35:10 but they don't have the courage or the balls or the fucking, you know, or just don't know what to say. And then you'll walk up to them and just give them a hug. Or you'll smack them. You like to hit people. You'll go, what's going on, man? What are you doing? What are you doing?

Starting point is 00:35:22 Yeah, I did that. Yeah, you'll crack them a little bit to shake them up. And people like that. I think that's a nice thing to do. I think that's a sweet thing that people like. But I have to know for sure that that is happening. Oh yeah, that's embarrassing. Well, I-

Starting point is 00:35:34 Because like one time I did that and they weren't looking at me. And I just came up to a table and they're like, what do you want? No, it's me. Yeah, and they were like, no, and I go, oh no. Oh, and I just went back. It was so embarrassing.

Starting point is 00:35:43 But anyway, you have to know for sure. I just don't, yeah. You don't, you know what, I've seen you at the airport. You're very good at about it. No, I love saying hi to fans. I'll tell you what I don't like. I don't like the way I look. Photos make me nervous,

Starting point is 00:35:57 because I don't like pictures. Because I'm like, I'm gonna look like fucking a dummy in this guy's photo. There's something about it gives me anxiety. But you do do born identity. What do you mean? Born identity. What do I do that's born identity? So what you do is sometimes you'll wear a cap. I'm Jason look like fucking a dummy in this guy's photo. There's something about it gives me anxiety. But you do do born identity. What do you mean? Born identity. What do I do that's born identity?

Starting point is 00:36:08 So what you do is sometimes you'll wear a cap. I'm Jason Bourne. And we're at the airport and you'll put your hat down like this and you walk and this is when this is you going, I don't want it. Yeah, sometimes I just wanna be alone. There's all these little clues about him, I know.

Starting point is 00:36:21 It's the Leo, I do the Leo. Yeah, I do the Leo. So there's little clues that he does. I go, okay, he doesn't want to be talked to or he's in a thing or this the Leo. Yeah, I do the Leo. So there's little clues that he does, like, okay, he doesn't want to be talked to or he's in a thing or this and that. Yeah, sometimes I'm just in, if I'm in an emotional mood, if I'm depressed, I just don't want to say it. Because then I'm in your photo like this.

Starting point is 00:36:32 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I'm low in your photo, I'm sorry. And I don't want to fuck up your photo. So it's like, you know, yeah, let's say hi. But I do love saying hi to the fans. I just, some days when we're tired and we're traveling, it's hard when someone's like, come here, get a do love saying hi to the fans. I just, some days when we're tired and we're traveling, it's hard when someone's like,

Starting point is 00:36:47 come here, I got a photo and you're like, okay. Yeah. And you look like shit and you feel like shit and you haven't eaten or slept. What's your nice thing? Well, in the Philippines. Oh, fuck. Oh, here we go.

Starting point is 00:36:58 Jesus Christ. No way to prove it. Yeah, can you? Yeah. Right, there's no tracking record. Yeah, yeah. Also, can you do it in a first-school punch ring? On the planet Hoth, when I look on Hoth, the Tantans,

Starting point is 00:37:07 you know what I mean? I used to give them free hoofs. Hoof pistachios. I'll tell you, those Tantans, they love that. I know, you love it, yeah. Okay, in the Philippines. When I met Zinu, the third sun god of the rotating orb. What did you do in the Philippines?

Starting point is 00:37:22 What did you do? In the Philippines, my friend who's gay, he came out of the closet to his parents, but then his parents were very Catholic and very religious, so they kick him out, and then he had nowhere to go, so I asked my mom if he could stay in our place and then he stayed in. That's nice.

Starting point is 00:37:49 That is nice. That's nice. By the way, when you said out of the closet, immediately it's like, my gay friend come out of the jungle. And... I know. So closets.

Starting point is 00:38:01 There's no closets. What are you talking about? There's no closets. There's no closets in the Philippines. So what do What are you talking about? There's no closets. There's no closets in the Philippines. So what do they come out of? Yeah, yeah. We have just like a table. Yeah, yeah, it comes out.

Starting point is 00:38:10 Yeah, they come to the table. They make the gay guys get on a table. Yeah. Announce to everybody, okay, I'm gay. So, raise your hand if you're mad. Yeah. So- You house this man who needed somewhere

Starting point is 00:38:24 and that's very nice, because of a closed-minded family. Now, is his family still disown him? Yeah, they still hate him. Yeah, but- That's gross. That's gross. I don't think it's real.

Starting point is 00:38:35 Oh, I like it. Why? I'm gonna tell you why. You think it's a lie. I think it's a lie. Why? Yeah, because- Wow. Because I've been out there, how many times?

Starting point is 00:38:43 A bunch of times now. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And the gay culture, it's out there, how many times, a bunch of times now. Yeah. And the gay culture, it's out. It's out, but- Let me talk. Okay. Let me talk. It's almost like it's so socially acceptable there.

Starting point is 00:38:55 Right. It's very hard to believe that anybody would be offended by it. Mom and dad. Even that, it's like, so when we do my talent show, right, the gays come out, do they not? Yeah. And they compete, right?

Starting point is 00:39:12 I've seen their families come out. I've never seen a dad or a mom while their son was performing, who was gay, went, no! We don't, no, they're clapping, right? It's just, this is an open society, and it's okay, Jules, okay jewels alright look at me right now I'm not

Starting point is 00:39:29 I'm not lying I'm not lying Is that your friend? That's just the Philippines I'm not lying Stop stop stop Because you're being very defensive right now I swear And also gay marriage You don't believe in God.

Starting point is 00:39:45 And also, gay marriage is still illegal in the Philippines. So it's not that. Thank God. I shouldn't clap for that. No, no, no, clap, so sorry. Wait, gay marriage is still illegal? Yeah. But culturally, it's not.

Starting point is 00:39:56 Culturally, yeah, a lot of people accept them. But it's just this parents, they- Look at them. Is that your family photo? Yeah. Wait a minute. Honestly, do you think there's a higher percentage of gay men in the Philippines than in other countries?

Starting point is 00:40:11 No, I just think that what I love about the Philippines is that it's such an open culture in that way where it's like- Nobody cares. No one cares. But it's like here. That's like here. No one gives a shit that you're gay here.

Starting point is 00:40:20 Yeah, unless you do drugs and then they'll kill you. Yeah. Well, right. According to the 2013, really updated, Philippines young adult fertility and sexuality survey, 2% of Filipino men identify as gay. Survey found 96% of young people in the Philippines identified as heterosexual.

Starting point is 00:40:35 So it is still embedded in the scariness of the society. Maybe you're right then. Okay, I believe you. What's the percentage of gay men in America? It's gotta be four? Yeah, four and a half. 4.7. Now-

Starting point is 00:40:43 8.5 adult women identify as gay. Let me say something. That's so fake. What is going on here? I think, do you think it's this? Cultural? Cause it should be, I think we're all human beings, it should be across the board.

Starting point is 00:40:54 Well, it does say, look, I read it wrong. It does say 4.7% of adult men identify as LGBTQ plus. So it could be. Oh, it could be anything. That encompasses everything. That could say like, I'm asexual, I'm. We're trying to just do gay, I'm asexual. I'm- We try to just do gay, not LGBT.

Starting point is 00:41:07 That's what I'm saying. Gay men on earth. 3% of men identify as gay or homosexual worldwide. Oh, that's good. That's a pretty good number. What would it be? Why is it good? Is it good or bad?

Starting point is 00:41:18 It's just a number. What's good about it? I think it's a healthy amount. Like we're drafting gays? It's a healthy amount of gays. We gotta get our gays up. It's a perfect amount. Listen here.

Starting point is 00:41:28 If it was 12%, you'd be like, what's going on here? We gotta get our gays up. 72% of Gen Z adults identified as straight. 15 as bi, five as gay or lesbian, and 8% as something else. 72% straights now. We're losing it straights. We're going down.

Starting point is 00:41:44 The straights are getting thinned out. Nearly 30% of Gen Z adults identify as LGBTQ. So 30% of the Gen Z population says that they are LGBTQ plus. Wow. That's a lot of kids. And I'm supportive, so let's move on. Yeah, I don't, I mean, fucking, I don't have any kids.

Starting point is 00:42:01 I don't have any kids either. Hey, dude. Hey, what's up, man? Childless. No wonder we're still doing this podcast. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know why we're doing this podcast? I'd like to tell you why. I'm a rockin', dude.

Starting point is 00:42:15 Don't come knockin'. Do you want one of these? I'll buy you one. Yeah? We're doing this podcast because it's the most fun. It's the most fun. And got a little announcement for the fans. We're working on it,

Starting point is 00:42:27 but your boys are gonna be coming to Beans on Toast. We're coming to the UK. UK. We're gonna do London. Hello, hello. Probably gonna do Dublin. We're probably gonna do maybe Amsterdam.

Starting point is 00:42:38 We're gonna let you know coming up soon in the fall. We're gonna be touring around because we wanna go see our friends over the water. Some people may go, some people might not I think everyone would want to go London show up for us in terms of our team. Oh Oh my god. Yeah, no, no, no, buddy. This is just for us Oh, you're saying jet ski Well last week you said I was going but then did I now you're looking at me like i'm not

Starting point is 00:43:01 What's a 50 50? I mean we have to make this we have to make decision to make decisions together, yeah. I might have to. How come you don't go? Yeah, why don't you go? Because my visa. Oh, your visa. Yeah, your visa. I can't just go to any country. What about the 59 states we went to last year? Yeah. I had school.

Starting point is 00:43:16 Bullshit. Bullshit. You're done with school soon. When is school over? Next week. Wow. Forever. You're graduating. No, no, no, no. I graduate next semester.

Starting point is 00:43:24 Oh, wow. That's still fast. It seems like. But're graduating. No, no, no, no. I graduate next semester. Oh wow, that's still fast. But you have like three months off? Yeah. What are you gonna do? Go back to the fields? No, just nothing, just sleep. Were you scared when Trump won?

Starting point is 00:43:36 Yeah, even my boyfriend was like, oh, maybe we should just, like. I can only hope Trump goes through with all this stuff. You know, we're gonna kick them all out. It's like, when? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So let's go, speed it up. I mean, I don't know if he's gonna.

Starting point is 00:43:52 Too many Asians for me. Too many. But you're Asian too. No, no, he's from San Diego. Yeah, yeah. He's in, he's done, he's locked. I'm a Twinkie. He's on the list, dude.

Starting point is 00:44:01 You know that, right? When I say Twinkie, what does it mean? I don't know, I thought- White on the inside. Yeah, what are Twinkies? I thought Twinkies are gay You're right there. I'm a banana. No, that's not about um You're a banana cream puff. Yeah, yeah also sounds gay. Yeah. Yeah, all this stuff does sound gay Yeah, well you are part of the 3% Yeah. Anyway, um, I'm pretty white No, no, you're a beautiful Korean man. You're proud of your Korean heritage.

Starting point is 00:44:28 I don't think I am because I hang out with a lot of Asians. Yeah, that's good. That's a good thing. You got a lot of Asians. You like what you like. What is this you're showing us a map of? The sanctuary cities in America. Los Angeles is not one of them?

Starting point is 00:44:41 Not yet. What? What the fuck's going on here? The sanctuary cities for immigrants? Yes. Wow. Look at that. I think LA is in discussions to become one officially. So what does the sanctuary city mean?

Starting point is 00:44:52 Refugees can come there. And not get deported? Correct. Wow. Yeah, but they have to be government. You have to file as a seeking asylum. You have to come through the port of entry. You come through the port of entry,

Starting point is 00:45:07 you come through a border and then you seek asylum and then you have to register that you're an asylum seeking refugee from whatever country and then you get registered with the government. You can't just like fucking catch a flight, come in and then hide out somewhere and be like, I'm a refugee. It's like, that doesn't count then.

Starting point is 00:45:19 Wow, okay. And then you're not gonna get any government services if you do it without them knowing. I see, I see. So if you need money while you're fucking here, if you're coming from someone that's, you know, that's how you have to do it. All I'm saying is if he deports the amount of people

Starting point is 00:45:29 he wants to deport, dude, the country's gonna be fucked. Yeah, well. And a lot of companies are gonna. I don't know, man. No, I mean. I'm pretty excited about it, dude. Get them outta here. Like farming communities, it was a fucking disaster, dude.

Starting point is 00:45:41 Get them out. All right, you'll see. Get them all gone, dude. There's two things you'll see about me getting buff and fucking we'll see what happens with this. And by the way, two things that are fucking rock and roll. Get rid of immigrants and get you jacked. I mean, dude.

Starting point is 00:45:56 Yeah, but you don't think I'm gonna get jacked. Trump sounds like Captain America. You don't think I'm gonna get jacked. I don't, no, you're not. You're not gonna get jacked. You're gonna get skinnier cause you keep losing weight. You're down 14 pounds now, yeah? Something.

Starting point is 00:46:09 Do you notice the difference? You look so small right now. Yeah, you do look smaller. Lift, stand up, lift up your shirt. Be real. He is standing up. I love you, Jess. That joke, dude?

Starting point is 00:46:20 It's all but good. Ha ha ha ha! Look at this, no belly. There's like no fucking belly. Yeah, yeah, right here. Wow. That's nothing but good. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Look at this, no belly. There's like no fucking belly. Yeah, yeah, right here. Wow. That's nothing, dude. That's nothing.

Starting point is 00:46:30 You were so much bigger months ago. Tell us. Carlos doesn't believe it. Ask the window. No, I do now. You do? From the other shoot we did last week. Yeah. Yeah. It was the first time.

Starting point is 00:46:39 You're gonna have to call your fucking podcast Tiger Abs. But when I joined the gym- Tiger Abs with Bobby Lee getting jacked. You and Kumail just working out every day. Imagine if you become a fucking Marvel character because of this. Whoa. That'll be so sick. If you get jacked as fuck and they give you a Marvel role-

Starting point is 00:46:57 The only Marvel role I could be is Sunfire. Perfect. That's you. That's you with Kumail right behind him. Look up Sunfire. You're spotting him. X-Men. Pontiac made with Kumail. Look up Sunfire. X-Men. Pontiac made a car called the Sunfire for a while.

Starting point is 00:47:09 That's you? That's cool. I mean, that's the only Asian one. Oh, of course, he's gonna play it. Who is that? Shang-Chi. Oh, that's a Shang-Chi guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:47:21 Can somebody else be Sunfire, please? God, they're gonna give the same. He's hot. Yeah, that's true. Can somebody else be Sunfire, please? God, they're gonna give the same. He's hot. Yeah, that's true. He's a good looking guy. Pretty good looking, yeah. We stay in our lane. Yeah, yeah.

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Starting point is 00:51:21 Are there redheaded superheroes? They're redheaded, no one is famous that's redheaded. And if they are, they're mocked. No, but did Marvel or DC ever create a superhero that happened to have red hair? Poison Ivy? Phoenix. Oh yeah, Poison Ivy, Phoenix. Never a guy though.

Starting point is 00:51:36 Yeah, yeah. Male redheaded superhero, right. Male, M-A-L-E, male redheaded superhero. Let's see, Edheaded. Yeah, male Edhead.. Let's see, Ed headed. Yeah, male Ed head. Who is that? Shaft? Shaft was black.

Starting point is 00:51:53 Wait, Shaft had red hair? I don't know, go back. Yeah, go back. Roy Harper. Can you zoom in a little bit? Like the whole thing, yeah, yeah. Roy Harper. Oh, yeah, there we go.

Starting point is 00:52:02 I guess. You do it with a bow and arrow. Who's Wally West? Toot, toot, toot. Wally West? Toot, toot, toot, toot. You're super, they're running out of superheroes. They ran out of names.

Starting point is 00:52:15 Wally West. What do we call this one, you know what I mean? Wally West. Yeah, King Disaster, no, Wally West. Wally West, wow, what's another? Geo Force is good. Geo Force, I don't know any of these guys the shield the shield that's pretty good light ray Getting weaker there's no one. Oh, it's just a guy that lives in my building

Starting point is 00:52:36 Hank Hall these are just guys. I know they're just Hank Haywood Yeah, they're all by the way what the fuck is this daredevil no this list is fucking dumb You're not right whatever this is is not the right yeah, I don't even know what that's that that list is wrong Don't get off of this website. Don't get angry about it. Well, he's not Because you don't like the white name Wally that's a good superhero about his googling lately ant-man Oh, but they gave that to Paul fucking Rudd, right? Thanks a lot. Thanks a lot Paul. Thanks a lot Paul Rudd. You could be like $2 bill, man. I could be like the woge.

Starting point is 00:53:06 Handing out $2 bills at random. He's doing good or he's inconveniencing people. Paul Rudd closed the circle for me once. What do you mean, circle meets the square? A conversation circle. What happened? I tell you a tale about that? No, I just know what you're talking about.

Starting point is 00:53:23 Yeah, I was on Pineapple Express, my bad. Okay, no problem. I was there and my agents were like, see, you gotta learn how to like meet people. You know what I mean? Like start conversations, you know what I mean? When you're on set, that's how you create, you know what I mean?

Starting point is 00:53:41 Relationships. Relationships in the business. So I was smoking a cigarette. It was Pineapple Express. It was Seth Rogen, Apatow, Paul Rudd, a bunch of people. And they were talking in a circle. And I was out on the curb, like kind of near them, smoking a cigarette. And then my agent's fucking thing went, you know what I mean?

Starting point is 00:54:01 Do it. This is it. I put the cigarette down and I wander into the circle. I don't know if it was Paul, somebody closed the circle. Paul does stuff like that. Yeah, so then I was on the outside of the circle and then I went back to the crib and I smoked. I hate that.

Starting point is 00:54:14 Yeah, yeah. He rutted you. You got rutted. What I find out now is that I can tell when people wanna talk to me, on set. Those guys wanna talk, I'm just kidding. Those guys probably love you. They just didn't know.

Starting point is 00:54:26 It's probably in my head. I probably did it wrong. They didn't know you were there. Yeah, I didn't know it. I did it wrong, yeah. You didn't make enough noise. What would you do? Hey guys, you guys play golf?

Starting point is 00:54:38 You guys know about the $2 thing with that? Alan, whatever, he makes them. Whatever is it, yeah. See, see, wah makes them. Whatever his name is, yeah. Steve Wawawake. You guys know about the $2 thing with Steve Wawawake, right, it's interesting. In fact, I'm gonna mention it on my podcast, one day when I have a podcast, I'm gonna mention it.

Starting point is 00:54:56 But it's like, you guys throw in your two cents. Do you think you did that, or did you do something like that? Oh, interesting. Well, I don't get cut out of circles like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Actually, I get invited in. I know you do. Not only do I get invited in, I get a big hug.

Starting point is 00:55:10 Yeah, yeah, and get to travel with them. Happened last night, actually. Oh, excuse me, I'm sorry. It happened to me Friday. Literally happened last night. I got picked up like a little American Girl doll. Blake Griffin picked you up to show you off. Oh, so here, can I tell everyone what happened?

Starting point is 00:55:25 Yeah. So I was at the comedy store and I was with, I was on a date. Six foot nine. I was on a date and Andrea's there. Not my date. Andrea Jinn. Andrea Jinn's there and she's a comic.

Starting point is 00:55:38 And I'm on a date, first date with somebody. You met her, right? Yeah. She's a very nice girl. And Andrea goes, oh, Blake's coming. So I go, okay, you know, Blake Griffin, right? Yeah. She's a very nice girl. And Andrea goes, oh, Blake's coming. So I go, okay, you know, Blake Griffin, huh? I said, yeah. We see him come in and then Andrea leaves

Starting point is 00:55:50 to go say hi to him. And then, you know, I turned, and this is the mistake I made. I turned to the girl and the date, I go, let's go say hi to Blake. Right? So we go over there. You thinking this will be a show off moment

Starting point is 00:56:03 for you a little bit? Mm-hmm. Ha ha ha. Mm-hmm. Just a little bit of like, I know go over there. You thinking this'll be a show off moment for you a little bit? Ha ha ha. Just a little bit of like, I know a famous guy. Love you, mom. You're right, you called me out. Well, it's a little moment for you. You know, when I kiss that, don't make that face. I didn't do anything.

Starting point is 00:56:19 Okay. Hang her back up. It was over there. No, put her up behind you though, she belongs behind you. You knocked her off the wall because you slammed your chair backwards. It was over there. No, put her up behind you though. She belongs behind you. You knocked her off the wall because you slammed your chair backwards. So anyway, um,

Starting point is 00:56:29 so, so, so blanks there and I, and I, um, I go in and I shake, I go in to shake his hand. Big hands. Right? And he looks at me and he grabs me. Yeah. And he pulls me up into the sky like Lion King like the line Yeah, and

Starting point is 00:56:51 She been you yeah, but the kids are double and so what happens is I go he's gonna put me down, right? Were you there? I didn't see this part. Yeah. Yeah, you were there though. Yeah. Yeah, and It he goes he has a monologue. Yeah. Hey guy. He goes, hey guy, I don't shake your hand, I hug you. That's right. Right, and I like lifting you,

Starting point is 00:57:14 and you're my little guy, this and that, right? And I'm up there for about a minute, right? And I'm blushing, and I'm trying to get down, right? Help. Yeah, help, help, help, right, right? He finally puts me down, and I'm blushing, right? And I'm thinking to myself, oh, my date didn't get down, right? Help. Yeah, help, help, help. Right, right? He finally puts me down and I'm blushing, right? And I'm thinking to myself, oh, my date didn't notice that, right?

Starting point is 00:57:29 So then I texted her yesterday. This is what I texted her, I go, this is so embarrassing. She goes, I go, do you remember when Blake Griffin picked me up as if I was an American Girl doll? And then this is what she says, your legs were dangling. So cute.

Starting point is 00:57:45 So cute. So cute. Now, did you guys hook up? Did you guys hook up? Him and Blake are. Yeah. Him and Blake are, yeah. He's a freckly dick. Yeah, he does.

Starting point is 00:57:54 People don't know this. It's like mine, but darker. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just a little darker. Very freckly. No, this girl, are you interested in this woman now? Is this a real thing? No, I'm just, come on.

Starting point is 00:58:02 I don't know what I'm in. Okay, dude. We don't know who it is, she doesn't know who it is. No one knows who it is. No one knows who it is. Doesn't matter. No, you know what, you just go on... I go on a lot of first dates, let's just say that.

Starting point is 00:58:14 And not a lot of seconds. That's crazy, because you love seconds. What? Ah! The boyfriend. No, no. That doesn't work because I'm on Ozempic. And you don't like seconds, I get it. But it was a good joke.

Starting point is 00:58:31 It was in theory it's structured. Yeah, yeah, yeah. In Australia you had some zingers on there. Zingers. The kid was on fire. But anyway, yeah, so he picked me up like a little, because you've never been picked up. No, I won't allow that kind of stuff, no.

Starting point is 00:58:44 There's no one that can pick you up. Blake could pick me up easy. Blake, because you've never been picked up. No, I won't allow that kind of stuff. But there's no one that can pick you up. Blake could pick me up, easy. Blake's huge. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, he could. He just wouldn't do it. It's just a mutual respect thing. Why do people pick me up? You're a teeny tiny Tim. You're a little teeny tiny Tim. It's extra funny because Brad Williams was there too. Did he pick up Brad? No. He stepped on him on accident.

Starting point is 00:59:00 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wait a minute. You're very pick-up-able. Yeah. Yeah, you know how you pick your dog up? When you see your dog, you pick him up, you, yeah. Wait a minute, you are very pick-up-able. Yeah. Yeah, you know how you pick your dog up, when you see your dog, you pick him up, you bend down? Yeah. Same thing. He's small and cute and lovable. Oh my God.

Starting point is 00:59:12 And here's the deal, I wanna kiss you. So I want your little face near mine. And also I- So I wanna hug you, I wanna feel your little tushy, and I wanna give you a little kiss. This is the same topic, but this whole fucking Korean deer thing got out of hand. I saw it.

Starting point is 00:59:24 What are you talking about? A Korean deer thing got out of hand. What are you talking about? A Korean deer? People online were like, there's a Korean deer. Oh, I got tagged. Oh, I got tagged. This looks like Bobby. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it does look like you. It looks exactly fucking like you.

Starting point is 00:59:35 Then I posted on my story and I got more comments than I've ever had. Everyone going, 100% yes. You 100% look like this. That is fucking Bobby Lee. It's crazy how much- Why does% look like this. It's, that is fucking Bobby Lee. It's crazy how much- Why does that look like me, dude? The eyes are perfect.

Starting point is 00:59:50 It's like the same depth of feel in the eyes that- Your face. Your face. The cheeks are perfect. The nose. The nose. The ears even. It just looks like you because his eyes look like the kind of love you have in your eyes and your soul look like exactly like his.

Starting point is 01:00:05 Look at how happy he is. But do you want to fuck that? I'm going to plead the fifth, man, because I, you know. That's what I'm saying. When you say I look like that, it doesn't seem sexy. Well, you know what I mean? Well, look, look, look, I've never fucked a deer. Like that deer has never been laid by another deer. That's not true. That's not true.

Starting point is 01:00:24 That's an incel deer dude. No, it's not. Yeah, look, he's alone. He's outside. Okay. He's taking a walk. He's like, mm, this is. He does look like he has a cleft lip or something.

Starting point is 01:00:34 Yeah, yeah, yeah. He is cute though. So cute. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's you bro. Okay. That's you. But then a bunch of comments said,

Starting point is 01:00:41 and I had to do research, bunch of comments were like, dude, it's a fucking donkey, dude. You're a donkey. Is that a donkey? It's not a donkey, it's a deer. No, it's a deer, it's 100% a deer. It's a deer.

Starting point is 01:00:51 It's a female deer. Yeah, yeah, okay, okay. I don't know who the fuck. Okay, I don't know who the fuck did that. That is- Did you do that, Carlos? No. Phenomenal. Somebody did that. That's so good.

Starting point is 01:01:02 That's so fucking funny. That's you, dude. That's literally- That's insane. They put my beanie and my glasses on there. That's wild. That's cool as shit. More of that, guys. Send that stuff in. We love that.

Starting point is 01:01:10 Yeah, anyway. I absolutely love that. If I was going to be an animal, what animal would I be? Well, you don't look like an animal. I don't. Do I look like an animal? Chest, nose. There's not an animal out there that you look at and go,

Starting point is 01:01:22 oh, that looks like Andrew Santino. There's some animals that look like you, maybe. I don't know. I don't know. I don't do I look like an animal chest knows there's not an animal There's not an animal out there that you look at and go. Oh that looks like Andrew Santino There's some animals that look like you maybe maybe a beaver. I look like a beaver my teeth are big in the front my two No, there's not an animal out there Maybe a lion give me a red beaver Yeah, your vibe is like a lion. No, you know, no dude. There is a guy. I just thought today. I love you There's a new viral listen. There's a new viral. Listen, there's a new viral tiger.

Starting point is 01:01:48 Google it. And I think this is more it's a viral tiger tiger that's coming that came out. Yeah, dude, all caps. Google it in all caps. Go images. That's him. That's you, dude.

Starting point is 01:02:01 Oh, I can see that. That kind of does look like. That's what it came to me. That's you dude. Oh, I can see that. That kind of does look like. That's what I get, it came to me. That's you bro. Yeah! That's you dude. That's me dude. Look at me, right.

Starting point is 01:02:12 Right? That's you. That's literally how I sit outside. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But that's not the same tiger. No. Go to that, that guy though? That's Andrew dude. Yeah dude, that's you dude. tiger. No. That guy, though? That's Andrew, dude.

Starting point is 01:02:25 Yeah, dude, that's you, dude. That's me. What's going on? What's his name? Ava. Mu Dang. After Mu Dang. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:02:32 Ava Golden Tiger. He's going ape shit online. Really? What's going on? People just love him because he's unique? Well, he's- Thailand's new sweetheart. He's a tabby cat.

Starting point is 01:02:44 He's a tabby cat. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he's just got the right proportions there. He's a Tabby cat. It's a Tabby cat. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he's just, he's got the right proportions there. Look at him, he's so cute. He's Thai, huh? Yeah. Jules, now that you're gonna be done with school,

Starting point is 01:02:56 what does the future hold? Well, nothing. No, what do you wanna do? And we're giving these people. What's your ultimate goal? Ultimate goal, I don't know yet. I still don't, what do you wanna do? And we're giving these people vids. What's your ultimate goal? Ultimate goal, I don't know yet. I still don't know what I wanna do. I still don't know.

Starting point is 01:03:10 Animals? Yeah. Something to do with animals. Why don't you do a podcast about animals? Well, I don't know if that's gonna be interesting. But is it so, I'll be honest with you, a future in podcasting isn't something that you would wanna do.

Starting point is 01:03:24 Not podcasting. Yeah, podcasting sucks. So what, I know, but what I'm saying is that why, so why don't you do the easier, softer way, which is podcasting? Because you'll make more money, you work less hours. She doesn't care about that. And you have freedom, but you don't care about that.

Starting point is 01:03:41 That drives me crazy that you don't care about that. Okay, what about, I like playing games. What about like streaming? Yeah, stream. Stream, but- Yeah, but still that's not like, you know. No, what do you mean? That's just as viable, that's just like podcasting.

Starting point is 01:03:53 Yeah, it should be great. Unless you're like the number one streamer. She could be the number one female streamer. Maybe. You're not gonna beat the guy, what's his name, Kai Sinat? That guy's fucking so big. By the way, that's what she's aspiring to be. That's pretty viable.

Starting point is 01:04:07 But the one thing I will say about that streaming thing that I don't, it gets a little, girls streaming always goes down this weird little rabbit hole of like- Sexy. Sexualizing, yeah, they get sexualized online. So as long as you wear like a full coat, like a winter jacket when you're doing it, I'm okay with it. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:04:25 As your uncle, uncle, as Tito Andrew. I just think the streaming thing for women, the thing I see sometimes on there is I'm like, oh, they're all being sexualized on this thing. It's not just about the thing. If you turn to this TikTokker that does that with the music. I'm not gonna do that. That's, oh my.

Starting point is 01:04:41 You know that guy? Yeah, I know. What is that? The guy that does that? The girls do it, you know what is that the guy that does that the girls do you understand? I do it what I don't think you know what I did just did yeah I don't know what I don't think yeah, I don't think you know what screen what I was looking at what he pulled up Yeah, yeah, pull up the names of the stream. Yeah, yeah, let's go it. Have you seen this? What the fuck is that what the fuck are you doing? Oh when they do like a time-lapse thing no

Starting point is 01:05:00 What the fuck is that? What the fuck are you doing? Oh, when they do like a time lapse thing? No. What is it? They're doing like an anime kind of like- Oh, I don't like it. Whatever it is- Dude, look it up, man.

Starting point is 01:05:10 How do you type that in? Bobby having a seizure? Usually, usually cringe- Cringe anime streamer? No, like cringe, any cringe Instagram or tick-tock Usually has Drunk guy gets an act. What is it? It's an axe

Starting point is 01:05:45 Did forget it. Let's move on. Oh, watch it watch him. No, forget it, let's move on. Let's watch him, let's watch him. Let's watch this guy get tased. This is just my algorithm. You're gonna get shot. Put the axe down. You will get shot. Tase him.

Starting point is 01:05:53 Put the axe down. Tase him. John, put the axe down right now. There it is. Good, John. Step out here right now. Okay, I'll tell you that one second. You took it to a different level.

Starting point is 01:06:01 No, pick up the axe again and get tased, dude. Your bond's been revoked because you got a DUI. Now pick up the axe again and get tased dude. Hit him. and you can get back out of jail, we can take this a whole new route. Let's say right now you're going to the ass, get back. Yeah, you're damn right. You're absolutely right to hit you first. I'll hit you again, bro. And I will hit you again. I will hit you again.

Starting point is 01:06:31 I will hit you back up, back up. That's a bail enforcement agent, by the way. That's not even a cop. You know that, right? That's crazy. No, he jumped bail. So he has like a, you know, he gets to act as like a peace officer or some bullshit.

Starting point is 01:06:44 He's not actually a cop. Okay. That's why while you have a deal- Who's side are you on? Huh? I think it's- Who's side are you on? Pretty clear.

Starting point is 01:06:51 The guy who's trying to, the axe, the guy who's trying to grab the axe. That's you on his side? Yeah. Why? Because, what are you doing on my fucking property? Get off of my fucking property. Okay.

Starting point is 01:07:00 You don't belong on my property. I was thinking you would react the same way. Huh? If the guy came out of my property? Get the fuck off of my property. You're not allowed on my private property. Fuck you. I don't know what Taze looks like,

Starting point is 01:07:09 so I think it's a gun. It's a Taser gun. A gun, Taser looks like a gun. Okay, cause I wouldn't know. Yeah, it looks like a gun. But I mean, it's- Oh, he has a gun. No, it's yellow.

Starting point is 01:07:17 It's very obviously a Taser. Well then, okay. I've never been Tased. Does it hurt? It hurts like fucking, it's the most pain. It sucks. You fucking, you freeze up and then you like fucking, it's the most pain, it sucks. You fucking, you freeze up and then you fall down. It's the worst. I hate it. You've done it, you've been tased before.

Starting point is 01:07:31 Yes, an idiot in college had a fucking taser and I fucking hated it. It was so dumb and we were drunk. Oh wow. Can we buy one? No! Yeah, yeah let's buy one. Alright buy one. It hurts, it's-

Starting point is 01:07:42 Can you die? Because I don't want you to be tased and die. Oh no. Well look up their reactions with Ozempic. Is there a Tazer Ozempic thing? Yeah. Possible side effects of Ozempic. If you are hit with the Tazer, it may stop working. No, that's fucked. You know, I read that- Find the fucking thing.

Starting point is 01:07:54 I was like, the face thing. Yeah, find it. The fucking thing, okay. Man, God. It's either that or- What the fuck is going on around here, dude? Either that or we go back to the $2 bill stuff. So, very hard.

Starting point is 01:08:03 Yeah, yeah, yeah, go back. I don't want to go back to $2. Find it. Maybe the one with the $2 bill stuff? So, yeah, yeah, yeah, go back. I don't want to go back to $2. I mean. Maybe the one with the blue hair. Blew it, yeah. Yeah, this shit. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:08:15 Yeah. Look, Andrew. All right, start it over. Oh yeah, yeah. It's now that we see it. Start it over, let's see. Yeah, it's this kind of thing where they're like. Oh yeah. Yeah, now that we see it. Start it over. Let's see. Yeah, it's this kind of thing where they're like.

Starting point is 01:08:28 Oh yeah. Yeah, it's all anime stuff. Yeah, and if you did that, my heart, do try it, try it, maybe you have it. No! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Come on, you! Yeah, yeah, you try it, you try it. Do it.

Starting point is 01:08:38 I don't know how! Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, no. You know the internet's got that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's see it. Go. We did it. Just do it, we'll cut it out if you don't like it.

Starting point is 01:08:49 Yeah, go. Ah, I don't know how, it's so cringe. Just go. It's so cringe. Yeah. Yeah. You could do it. Oh, wow.

Starting point is 01:08:59 Yeah, that's good. So good. Don't do it. Don't do it, yeah, you don't have to. You don't have to. You don't have to. You don't have to. You don't have to. You don't have to. You don't have to. You can do it. Oh, wow. So good.

Starting point is 01:09:08 Don't do it. Don't do it. Yeah, you don't have it. Now my heart is free. I know you can't do it. Can't do it. How many views is it? Is this popular?

Starting point is 01:09:17 This is Misty Raines. A lot of people like this. They go to Misty Raines' thing. So they just watch her do that? Three fucking million people? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Holy. Let's go to this one. Yeah, here we go. Dude, I Three fucking million people? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Holy crap.

Starting point is 01:09:25 Let's go to this one, yeah, here we go. Dude, I'm working too hard. Yeah, what are we doing? Yeah. Oh man, I hope they bomb us. I hope this country's over soon. This is insane. Yeah, this is insane.

Starting point is 01:09:37 This is what we're doing? This is it. And can I tell you something? How old is this kid, by the way? Is this a child? How old is this person? the way is this a child how old is this person? Some of them have only fans. I wouldn't know okay, but anyway I Mean how old is this girl? I like well who are we watching it so it looks like we're watching a kid a child She is 19. Yeah, what do we do get I know I'm not watching some kid do fucking gross get out of here

Starting point is 01:10:00 That's weird, and there's a dad does there, Sally, do the dishes! And she's, I'm coming. I'm coming. Woo. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, we're fucked. We're fucked. She just fucked.

Starting point is 01:10:11 Yeah, yeah. Oh, and then she goes to anime conventions. Right, this is, I've seen this anime convention thing. It's like, they don't do it once a year. They do it all year round, there's these things. They're all over the place. Yeah. You don't want to do that, though.

Starting point is 01:10:22 No, I don't want to. Is that, you know how Comic-Con was like once a year? Now it's like all year. No, because every city has one now. Well, every city to do that though. No. You know how Comic Con was like once a year? Now it's like all year. No, cause every city has one now. Well, every city has everything though. There's many different kinds. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So Jess wanted to promote her show.

Starting point is 01:10:33 Is that why you're here? Oh, I did want to promote my show. But it's not coming out until? No, maybe after the episode. Smoothest transitions of all time. Oh yeah. It's unbelievable you, you're flawless. You fuck you man.

Starting point is 01:10:44 Talk to me like that. It's unreal., you're flawless. You fuck you man, talk to me like that. It's unreal. I am going to New Jersey, Sunnyvale, California, Fort Worth, Dallas, Portland, Seattle, and Lexington next year. So I'm just gonna take this moment, if you're out there, if anybody's out there, come see me. I mean, if there's a way to do it, that's it, dude.

Starting point is 01:11:02 That was perfect, that was so organic and shit. People loved it. Yeah. Not only, it was so organic and shit. People loved it. Yeah. Not only, it just helps the rhythm of her selling the show. What are you doing, man? Just criticizing you. Yeah. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:11:14 And let me, and let me, and I'll say- I could criticize you as well. And I'll say why. You shot at me about the woge thing, so I've been shooting at you. It's funny, it's like- Don't bring a knife to a gunfight, bud. Yeah, I'm bringing a bazooka. You couldn't hoist one up, you fucking little.

Starting point is 01:11:32 So this is what happened. Fill in the blank. You know, you and I come here, try to set the tone of the show. I brought a popcorn, pretty good rant. That was a good rant, that was good. Popcorn, yeah, a couple of other things. And you had the $2 thing.

Starting point is 01:11:47 Right. And it died. I think that's why you're mad. And you know what? There's a healthy way of getting that resentment out. The way you're going, going back and forth like that in your new chair. I'm rocking in my chair.

Starting point is 01:11:58 Doing this, like the thinker, whatever you're doing with your hand. I've never seen you do this before. Oh, it's because my back hurts. The thinker, you know what I mean? So I think we all know in the room, right, that that was a fail. Right?

Starting point is 01:12:11 I got an MRI done. I'm sorry. On my back. What's going on? And they were like, all of this pressure and disc slipping is from you carrying Bobby's career lately. And I said, that can't be showing up on the MRI.

Starting point is 01:12:22 They go, trust me, it is. And we all see it. Yeah. And I said, who sees it? showing up on the MRI. They go, trust me, it is. And we all see it. And I said, who sees it? He goes, the community at large. And I said, the doctor community? He goes, buddy, social, social. It's everywhere, everyone can tell. So I gotta get you off my back.

Starting point is 01:12:37 I-N-T-E-R-E-S-T-I-N-G, dude, interesting. That's fucking awesome. I told you you could spell, youy dude, interesting. That's fucking awesome. I told you you could spell, you're good buddy. Anyway. No, he did say my back issues are from. Interesting. From you. Maybe you should take a trip to Wiespa.

Starting point is 01:12:59 No. We had fun. We had fun, we went and I can't believe you've never been. I said, Andrew must come here all the time. No, I like, I used to like Vodaspah. Yeah, but you never even tried WeSpy, I heard. Yeah, I don't like it. But how do you know you don't like it?

Starting point is 01:13:14 Because he's stubborn. Too many, too many Korean. Oh, so I thought. Too many. I thought when you talked to him. Let's talk about your experience at WeSpy. Yeah was I was kind of nervous going in the whole naked thing You know, everyone's naked and Bobby was like we I won't see you naked. I don't want to see you naked That's so gross. We're not watching it. Oh

Starting point is 01:13:37 Forget I was considered you know, but I like why be mean now not I don't want because it's the Santa fair, right? So anyway, you said you're saggy tits. I don't see no. I say that I was gonna say something way worse, but go ahead. I love you. Well now you have to say no I was I was kidding. I don't have one Say it no say it a beautiful lady naked now go ahead So anyway yeah as we're walking in I, am I gonna be the only white lady there? And he goes, no, no, no, tons of whites go. And it was true, it was a good diversity mix.

Starting point is 01:14:11 You wouldn't be the only white there. And I kind of get why you said no one goes to the WeSpa with you, because I was telling my friends and they're all like, I don't wanna be naked with Bobby. I think people think when you say, do you wanna go to WeSpa? They're thinking you're asking, can I see you naked? Kind of.

Starting point is 01:14:27 No, that's absolutely incorrect. But I think that's what they hear. It's like, it sounds like you just wanna see all these male comics naked. Well, I have done it before. Yeah. You know, Ian Edwards. You know what I mean?

Starting point is 01:14:39 I try to get Chappelle. Lacey, yeah. But what do they have in common? They're black. Exactly. I don't get your point, but. I like to see it. He wants to go with black. Oh, yeah. But what do they have in common? They're black. Exactly. I don't get your point, but yeah. I like to see it. He wants to go with black.

Starting point is 01:14:48 Oh yeah. I like to see it. But when you go male, female, you're in different rooms, but then the coed, you're in a uniform. You've been there with me, fun? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's really fun, but it's relaxing. It's so relaxing.

Starting point is 01:14:59 That's why I don't want to go with him. Yeah, go at a different time, but you should go. Please go with me. No, how un-relaxing would that be for me? You guys would get, he got recognized a lot upstairs. It'd be so not relaxing. Okay. I have my little getaways.

Starting point is 01:15:14 I go to my gym, I go in the cold plunge, I go in the sauna, I go in the steam room. You know who talks to me there? Fucking nobody. Fucking no one. I get in the cold plunge with my little tiny red penis and it's freezing cold and my little penis goes like this. It does the cringe with faces.

Starting point is 01:15:32 Dude. Dude. Dude, have you been in a cold plunge by the way? I love cold plunge. Yeah, they have one at Weesville. Do you do them? Oh my, I go in there for 10 minutes. That's literally impossible.

Starting point is 01:15:43 No, you don't. I do, maybe it's not as cold as the one you're going through. Because the cold plunges, you couldn't go in for 10 minutes, you would be, it might be. But I'm, let me say something. Most of the people, they go in for like a minute. I try to go up for 10 minutes

Starting point is 01:15:57 because I go to the point where I'm about to die. Oh, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good. Well, that's good. Yeah, yeah. That's very good. And I'm gonna tell you why, if I may. Good. Well, that's good. Yeah. Yeah. That's very good. And I and I'm going to tell you why. If I may. OK, you may. Well, I'm going to thank you.

Starting point is 01:16:10 OK, I go to Hyundai Day Spa. I've been going there for years. And there's like a 95 year old man that's there. OK, OK. And he does a routine. And I observe them. OK, yeah. Over the years, the last 20 years. Asian man. Old Asian man.

Starting point is 01:16:28 And he does halfway in the cold plunge. Yeah. Then there's two different spots, there's a jacuzzi, but there's also a spring water one where it's super hot. Love that. So he'll go five minutes there and he goes back and forth. And I think what he's doing is circulating his blood. Just trying to stay alive.

Starting point is 01:16:46 Yeah, yeah. And so I've been following the same thing as he does. Good. You know what I mean? And I think there's something to do with your health. I don't know what it does. But they say three to five minutes is kind of the optimal time to get the benefits that you need.

Starting point is 01:16:58 After that, you're kind of not, you know, cause it's, cause it's down to 45 degrees. I mean, they tell you to between 40 and 60 is the high end for cold plunge, but five to 10 minutes, you don't want to 45 degrees. I mean, they tell you between 40 and 60 is the high end for cold plunge, but five to 10 minutes, you don't wanna go any more than that. There's no need for it. Post-workout is two to three minutes.

Starting point is 01:17:13 But what are the benefits of it? Well, there's a metabolic boost you get. That's 11 minutes in total time over two to four sessions per week has metabolic recovery benefits, right? It's good for your muscle tissues. It's great for me for my nerves because of my nerves, because of my sciatic nerve, it's really good.

Starting point is 01:17:29 It like calms the nerve down. Ice is the best. Ice is the fucking best. Can we go to WeeSpa so I can show you how long I go into the cold plunge? I don't think you would believe me, so I wanna do it. I believe you wholeheartedly. I think you could stay- You doubt me.

Starting point is 01:17:41 Knowing you, you could stay in there for 20 minutes, I bet. Okay, well then what are we doing? Cause you're a strong boy. Just come with me, please. You're a strong boy. I think you could stay. You doubt me. Knowing you, you could stay in there for 20 minutes, I bet. Okay, well then. Cause you're a strong boy. Just come with me, please. You're a strong boy. Plus your body's compact. You're not stretched out. So everything is close.

Starting point is 01:17:52 Okay, anyway. No, I'm saying like your engine. Thank you for being a bad friend. Your engine is warming here. Thank you for being a bad friend. It doesn't have to go that far. Yeah. You know what I mean?

Starting point is 01:17:59 That's true. My limbs are long. Yeah. Anyway, Jess, will you go back again with me one day? Yeah, I'd go back. I was in the steam room and I walked in, I was in there for a minute, and then this lady walked in,

Starting point is 01:18:09 and then there was probably five to six ladies in there, and then out of nowhere, it's quiet, and out of nowhere this lady goes, "'Do you wanna find your uterus?' Oh, yeah, right, right. And like right before she said it, I was about to get up and leave, but then I was like, if I get up now,

Starting point is 01:18:24 it's gonna feel like a response to her saying that. This is real because she told me about this afterwards. Well, did you lose it? Well, I don't know if it was to me or to... It felt like it was to the room. Where is your... What does she mean by that? And then another lady goes, yeah. And then she just starts talking about like feeling on your abdomen

Starting point is 01:18:41 where the uterus is. And then I had to like just kind of wait there for a while before I could leave respectfully. Oh, can you imagine if a guy said that to you in a spa at all? Yeah. Like he was like, do you want to find your G-spot? Yeah, it was so awkward.

Starting point is 01:18:55 Well, let's play that out. Yeah, I'm in the tub with you. Do you- What's up? Sorry, I just- Yeah, I usually don't. Well, for a living, I just, I kind of, I'm like a life coach. I mean, what's up? Health coach. Okay, what's up? Sorry, I just. Yeah, I usually don't. Well, for a living, I just, I kind of, I'm like a life coach.

Starting point is 01:19:06 I mean, what's up? Health coach. Okay, what's up? Do you, have you ever found your G-spot as a man? I'm done, thanks man. Oh, you already found it? Excuse me? Can I help you find it?

Starting point is 01:19:18 Can I help you find your G-spot? When you say, I'll do it for free. When you say G-spot? Usually I charge, I'll do it for free. When you say G-spot, what do you mean? Like in the penis cavity or like my anal cavity? It's in your butt.

Starting point is 01:19:31 It's in your butt and I can. I have two. I help men find it in their butt. Yeah. And I found it. You already got it. I just found it just now. Can I try to find another one for you?

Starting point is 01:19:40 Oh, so you're saying there's two. Yeah. Well, if you say so, go ahead. Give me that. Yeah, yeah. I put this, so this wand, you see this wand that I have? It looks exactly there's two? Yeah. Well, if you say so, go ahead. Come here. Yeah, yeah. I put this, so this wand, you see this wand that I have? It looks exactly like my penis. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:19:49 You know, I've watched Harry Potter. I've never seen it shaped like this. Well, if you turn around and I say this magic phrase and I put my wand in there, it'll detect where you're spotted. Oh, you know what? I'll give it a go. Yeah. Why not?

Starting point is 01:20:01 Is it in? Expellius. Is it in? Jizzius, yeah. Okay. Is it in? Did you findars. Is it in? Jizzius, yeah. Okay. Is it in? Did you find it? Oh, rude. I found it.

Starting point is 01:20:09 Yeah, yeah. Did you? I can't feel it. Okay. Yeah. Well, have a good day. Have a safe drive. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:20:17 Did you know about the $2? Oh, yeah. Tell me. Tell me about it. I've got to have like, watch or watch. Dude, I actually- Yeah, you're I actually, I walked into the steam room the other day, I did have a guy, I walked in naked. Traditionally you put on a towel in the steam room

Starting point is 01:20:32 because you sit down, but I walked in naked because no one was there, it was after hours. And I walked in because I was a little bit in pain. And so I walked in with my cock out and I was like, oh, I was like grunting through the pain because my pain was strong. And then I hear a guy go, you okay, man? And I can't see him in all the steam and the fog.

Starting point is 01:20:52 I go, oh fuck, dude, I didn't know someone was in here. I'm so sorry, dude. And he's like, it's okay. I just, you want me to get out of here? I was like, no. Yeah. You don't have to go. No, you do make noises in the steam room

Starting point is 01:21:02 that you can't get. It feels good. Yeah. This is a noise that Koreans make. I don't care where you're from in Korea. Can you guys understand each other? We know what this means. And there's no, it doesn't mean anything,

Starting point is 01:21:13 but we know what it means. Yeah. It's this. It's unspoken. Here we go. Aigu, aigu, aigu, aigu, aigu. Aigu. It's aigu, aigu, aigu, aigu about four or five times.

Starting point is 01:21:25 We understand what that means. Aigu. Yeah. And everyone. And we go aigu, aigu, aigu. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What does that mean? Like lamenting in pain?

Starting point is 01:21:33 No, it's like, it feels good, but it hurts, but I'm glad, you know what I mean? Right. It's soothing, you know? And there's another one that we know what it means is juk juk. I told you about that. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:21:43 Yeah, yeah. We don't have to read, you know about juk j that. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. We don't have to read. You know about juke juke? Yeah. What is it? What? I don't remember, but I remember the phrase juke juke. See what he does, McCone?

Starting point is 01:21:52 Yeah, he's worthless. He just agrees without listening. At this time, at this point, he just comes around. When you do improv, you know, agreeing is fine, but you have to listen as well. No, he doesn't. That's why he won't do standup, I told you. He's not. Yeah, you're not yeah

Starting point is 01:22:06 Give us a joke. Let me hear you do a bit Do you say oh god, did you say oh god? You don't be on the show anymore You don't have to be on the show your attitude your attitude is fucking bananas By the way, Pete has been pleasant all day and said shit brought us cookies. Yeah. Wait, can we do it together? Okay, cuz we haven't together? OK. OK. Because we haven't been on the show together, and I don't think I'll be on it.

Starting point is 01:22:29 You've never been on a show together before? We have not for months. I haven't seen her in a long time. Yeah, and I'm going on the road next year, so I don't know when I'll be back. So. OK. OK.

Starting point is 01:22:39 OK. OK. OK. Too bad. Thank you for being a bad friend. Thank you for being a bad friend. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Thank you for being a bad friend.

Bad Friends - Bobby's Hopecore Era

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