Bad Friends - Bobby's Missed Connections

Episode Date: November 17, 2025

Get MORE Bad Friends at our Patreon!! https://www.patreon.com/c/badfriends Thank you to our Sponsors: Dominos Pizza, Dupe, TalkSpace, Ridge Wallet & Shopify • Dominos Pizza: Order now at https:/.../dominos.com • Dupe: Stop overspending on brand names and start saving on holiday gifts with https://Dupe.com immediately • TalkSpace: Get $80 off your first month with promo code SPACE80 at https://Talkspace.com • Ridge Wallet: Take advantage of Ridge’s Biggest Sale of the Year and GET UP TO 47% Off by going to https://www.Ridge.com/BAD #Ridgepod • Shopify: Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at https://shopify.com/badfriends YouTube Subscribe: http://bit.ly/BadFriendsYouTube Audio Subscribe: https://apple.co/31Jsvr2 Merch: http://badfriendsmerch.com 0:00 Fancy's Back 5:00 Hot Guy Criminals 10:00 Love Letters 15:00 Can't See The Smiles 20:00 Missed Connections 25:00 Now You See Me 3 30:00 Dodgers Win World Series 35:00 Football 101 40:00 Physical 100 Asia 45:00 Tonsil Stones 50:00 NEO The Home Robot 55:00 Spreading Ashes 1:00:00 1/2 Degree Murder 1:05:00 Bobby in Prison 1:10:00 Nightmare Driver More Bobby Lee TigerBelly: https://www.youtube.com/tigerbelly Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bobbyleelive Twitter: https://twitter.com/bobbyleelive Tickets: https://bobbylee.live More Andrew Santino Whiskey Ginger: https://www.youtube.com/andrewsantinowhiskeyginger Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino Twitter: https://Twitter.com/cheetosantino Tickets: http://www.andrewsantino.com More Fancy SOS VHS: https://www.youtube.com/@7equis Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/fancyb.1 More Bad Friends iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-friends/id1496265971 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/badfriendspod/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/badfriends_pod Official Website: http://badfriendspod.com/ Opening Credits and Branding: https://www.instagram.com/joseph_faria & https://www.instagram.com/jenna_sunday Credit Sequence Music: http://bit.ly/RocomMusic // https://www.instagram.com/rocom Character Design: https://www.instagram.com/jeffreymyles Bad Friends Mosaic Sign: https://www.instagram.com/tedmunzmosaicart Produced by: 7EQUIS https://www.7equis.com/ Podcast Producer: Andrés Rosende This video contains paid promotion. #bobbylee #andrewsantino #badfriends #sponsored #ad Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Is it the matcha, or am I this energized from scoring three Sephora holiday gift sets? Definitely the sets. Full size and minis bundled together? What a steal. And that packaging? So cute. It practically wraps itself. And I know I should be giving them away, but I'm keeping the Summer Fridays and Rare Beauty by Selena Gomez. I don't blame you. The best holiday beauty sets are only at Sephora. Gift sets from Summer Fridays, Rare Beauty, Way, and more are going fast.
Starting point is 00:00:24 Get full-sized favorites and must-have minis bundled for more value. Shop before they're gone. In-store online at Sephora.com. You two are bad friends Who are these two idiots White dude I'm an Asian dude You two are disgusting Oh you two or something
Starting point is 00:00:40 We're bad friends Well look at who's back Hello Look who's back Hello Hello porgs You know it was really good to see you When I walked in the studio
Starting point is 00:00:51 I felt a laugh Did you really? No I hugged you twice I hooked you twice But with some extra touching With some scratchies. I love doing scratches with you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:01:02 Some nipple, from poor nipple scratchies are good. A couple of tickles for the boy. Yeah. You're back from Espagna. At some family time. How are you feeling? Okay. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:01:13 Yeah. Happy to be back. Are you happy to be back for real? Especially because I saw you guys try to replace me. We didn't try. We did. We were very successful. We absolutely did.
Starting point is 00:01:23 That guy was fantastic. We found a wonder kid, dude. Yeah. He's the best, the big C. Dynamic, the big C, dude. Are you threatened? A little bit. Wow.
Starting point is 00:01:33 Well, did you, you didn't edit that episode. Did you, no, but George did and you watched it? Did you watch it? I did. I know he watched it like a sick little weirdo. Yeah. He's not as good as me. That is no way he is as good as me.
Starting point is 00:01:47 And he was, wasn't it? He was. Yeah, we flew him across the country just to temporarily replace you, but nobody, nobody bad friends. No one can replace Fancy Beasts. No. We're happy he's back.
Starting point is 00:01:58 He's back. Well, so the big seed doesn't really know what food is. I don't think he eats. Yeah, I mean, everything, we brought him to John and Vinny's, right? Yeah. And everything was like, I don't like it. Yeah. Well, the first thing you brought out was, was like a barata or something,
Starting point is 00:02:17 and he had no fucking idea with that. He never seen barata before in his entire life. He thought it was a dead ghost. Yeah, dead ghost. Yeah. Oh, he hated the gem salad. Gems salad tonight. By the way, it's just lettuce.
Starting point is 00:02:29 It's a Caesar salad He hated it With a little spice in it So good Yeah he didn't like that And then What he did like Was the anchovy pizza
Starting point is 00:02:38 Which is strange He loved it Yeah There was no cheese on it Just red sauce And an anchovy Stripped across it And he liked that
Starting point is 00:02:46 He was like That one is pretty good I was like The fish pizza is good You don't like any of the other pizza He didn't like the Paglete He didn't like the
Starting point is 00:02:56 He didn't like the Bronx Bomber He didn't like the Bronx Bomber The meat pizza He's never had real pasta, I think. No, he's never had... I think it's a little too chewy for him or something. He went like this. Yeah, yeah, like that.
Starting point is 00:03:06 Like a horse, like trying to get rid of something. And then the embrace afterwards was as if we were never going to see him again. Well, we're probably not. Yeah. No, you know, we do, I will say this. Yeah. We do really, I don't want to give anything away to the fans. We are, we do love the big C.
Starting point is 00:03:25 We like the big C. We will see him again. I hope so. We love him. Yeah, he is a unique. week. We got to get him some, you know, some action, I think. Well, I mean, he's 30, what, one, 32, and then he hasn't had since the Dominican Republican had in high school, which I don't even believe, do you believe that story or no? I don't think
Starting point is 00:03:47 he's really had sex. Come on. Come on what. Of course that's not real. He's never had sex. He wanted a vivid detail about how it happened. Yeah, because he's been, how she ran away, how she ran away afterwards and ran into the forest. She was able to cut the ropes. Escape into the woods. And I was chasing her. Come back here, little girl. It was a wild story.
Starting point is 00:04:11 He had an elaborate story because he's been broached with this subject many times. People have said, you know, he's been around another guy that's like, hey, you know, you're working on anybody right now? You got anybody on your roster? No, no, not really. I had sex once in Dominican. I think it's like, it's not like, you know what? Let's not make fun of that.
Starting point is 00:04:30 We're not making fun of it. Let's go backwards. I'm proud of him because he's saving himself for real love. That's what he said at dinner. He said he wants to meet real love. I think that's what they all say. Well, dude. They all say that, right?
Starting point is 00:04:43 Either we take him to John and Vitties or. Oh, that's true. That's true. You aren't screwed to me home, man. Yeah. It did have feel that like, we should be extra nice to him. Yeah, I don't want to. Because we don't know.
Starting point is 00:04:54 We don't know. I don't want to read about a Westfield. in Jersey getting fucking lit up. Oh my God. That would be, that would be the end of our podcast. He's wearing a bad friend's merch shirt. No, TMZ. Did you see the mug shots of the guys that robbed the Louvre?
Starting point is 00:05:08 No. This is unreal. Look at how hot these guys are. I'll be the judge. Is this a movie? That's Chase Crawford on the lap. No, but they're saying he looks, that's him on the right. Wow. Look at his hot.
Starting point is 00:05:26 Welcome to Hollywood. Yeah. They're going to cast this guy as soon. You know what? Someone is going to bust him out of jail and put him in a movie. Yeah. Remember the model? Remember like the hot model that was on like tuby on like black stuff?
Starting point is 00:05:39 We should make a movie. I got it. We bust him out? Mangione. Right? Yeah. You know what were the two brothers with the Boston? That was the young brother from the Boston Marathon.
Starting point is 00:05:48 What's his name? Sarnaya. We'll leave that guy in there. What? He's cute though. I know. Bring him. Is he?
Starting point is 00:05:55 Yeah. Jeremy Meeks. He's already an actor now. He's famous, right? He got like famous. Wow. Okay. But go back to the mugshot of the guy that robbed the Louvre.
Starting point is 00:06:02 I can't, I mean, honestly, though, look at that guy's face. Yeah. That guy's a thief. Yeah, look at the neck proportions. How easy would it be for this guy to get an older woman who's rich to give him money? Brother. Right. You don't need to rob.
Starting point is 00:06:15 Yeah. You don't. What does it say? This is one of the two. Right. That's one of the two. Where's the other guy? Is the other guy?
Starting point is 00:06:21 They keep showing him. So obviously the other guy is not. no he's sexy too is that big C I went to Paris to rob the lobe I stole Mona Lisa why is that happening hot guys doing this
Starting point is 00:06:38 why are hot guys robbing yeah when you look at Kyle Rittenhouse Hollywood's dead you're like you get it right yeah you look at Rittenhouse you're like yeah but when Hotties are doing it what's going on with our world is diversity you know it's killing that stuff
Starting point is 00:06:52 This is D-E-I. Right. D-E-I is like enough uggos. We need to start getting hot guys to rob. Right. This is the, this is the fucking, this is the lib contingency at it again.
Starting point is 00:07:02 Oh my God, they're hot. So are they in trouble? A little bit. Yeah. Uh-oh. They used a crane to like. But you didn't kill anybody.
Starting point is 00:07:10 They didn't do it. No, they didn't do it. Oh yeah. That crane company is from, from Germany. Yeah. Their ads is like,
Starting point is 00:07:15 you know, in and out faster, whatever, like they're selling through the roof. Well, you might as well market, use the marketing. These guys stole a crane
Starting point is 00:07:22 and then they hoisted the ladder up to the window dude it was in it's in broad daylight I mean it was like in the middle you can see it it's not like it was like hidden and sneaky they just put the crane up to the window walked in and came out and so they got the merch they got the merch
Starting point is 00:07:36 they got merch well I mean not merch but they got at the loo what they got paintings and stuff what is it? No just jewels they got jewels our Rudy Jules
Starting point is 00:07:43 they stole her she was in there then they got out and they escaped and they escaped and then the they caught on it but some rat on the run somebody ratted them
Starting point is 00:07:52 out. Oh, the rat. Who's the rat? Google the rat. Google the rat. Wait, wait, wait, go back. I'm sorry. I want to see that real fast. It says the heist is valued at 88 million euros. That's 102 million American. Wow. Eight pieces of historic French jewelry. Fuck the French. Who cares? Yeah. No, we love the French. We love the French. It came this close
Starting point is 00:08:08 to getting away. I know. That's amazing. They should have let him go. I would start small if I wanted to rob. What would you rob? Well, I would start like back like my high school days, like Kit Katz and you know what I mean? Oh, yeah, yeah. And then you would still like, okay, I got away with that.
Starting point is 00:08:25 And the next thing you would rob is like shoes from pay less shoes or something. Yeah. Right? Like, I got loafers. By the way, that's why they went out of business. Oh, yeah, yeah. Everyone stole from that place. Oh, the next one is, you know, if you go to like San Francisco, you went to the CVS or everything is locked up now.
Starting point is 00:08:41 You think I went into a CVS in San Francisco? I went from my hotel to the club to the hotel to the club. Oh, I went to a CVS. I did not walk outside. We were both in San Francisco and the CVS, you know how in L.A., half the things are locked up. And fucking San Francisco CVS, right? It's all. Toothpicks, locked up.
Starting point is 00:08:56 Well, those are weapons. Yeah, yeah. That's how they broke into the Louvre. Yeah. I mean, everything. Yeah, but I will say the city. Ben Gay, locked up. I buy a lot of Bengay.
Starting point is 00:09:06 I'll tell you this. It's funny that's locked up up there. What? Chips. Yeah, it's crazy. And then there's so many of those buttons. Who loves chips? I wonder.
Starting point is 00:09:16 All of us. Yeah, all of them. All love chips. Yeah. And then there's one person, some poor Filipino. lady where you have to she just happened to be
Starting point is 00:09:24 but you know you're pressing the button but you have to imagine there's 40 beats buttons being pressed throughout the fucking bump bum bum bum bum help an aisle
Starting point is 00:09:32 she's like a key she's the key master she's got 50,000 keys around her neck just running through the fucking like yeah what about this why don't you just get
Starting point is 00:09:42 one guy per aisle yeah you know what I mean like hey dude I'm the fucking you know what I mean deodorant guy I'm the cereal boy
Starting point is 00:09:51 yeah you'll be cereal, I'll be deodorant. And I have all the deodorant keys, right? McCone, I don't know what you would do. Okay. What's going on? Are you stunned right now? I thought he was going to tell me what I was going to do.
Starting point is 00:10:04 No, he's, he doesn't know. I was giving you the opt. I'm the CVS fucking manager. I go, what do you want? What do you want? What do you want? I do the condoms. Oh, fuck.
Starting point is 00:10:14 Okay. Give them the condoms. Why? Because you don't use them? Yeah. It would be fun to monitor that one versus the other ones. Keep an eye. Speaking of McCone in love, I was introduced to a new friend of his recently.
Starting point is 00:10:29 It ended later that evening. Never mind. Wait, you found love and then you ended it? Well, I met up. We went to the Dodger game and we afterwards, I said, hey, we're going to walk down the hill because you can't get a fucking Uber. I was like, we're going to walk over the hill and probably go to shortstop or grab a beer, just hang out.
Starting point is 00:10:45 And then so we went to Little Joy and I said, come meet us. And this guy, this is how nervous he was in front of this girl. I haven't seen him like this in a long time. I was pretty hammered. And I was just giving him cash, just handing him cash. I was like, get her a drink, go get her food. And he was nervous. I could tell because when he showed up late, I go, where did you go?
Starting point is 00:11:00 He was late. He goes, I thought you said little boy. I'm like, there is no little boy bar. There's no little boy bar, dude. There's little joy. And it's literally across from your house. Wow. You know what I did?
Starting point is 00:11:10 On the flight to San Francisco, there was a attendant, a flight attendant. She was beautiful. So I wrote her a letter. Oh, yeah. Restrain in order now. No more Delta flight The guy next to me Fancy is back
Starting point is 00:11:29 Yeah I was sitting next to the A businessman I go excuse me sir Do you have a pen He's like yes young man I have a pen He gives me the pen So I take the um
Starting point is 00:11:38 You know the throw up back Barf bag The Barf bag love note Right and I wrote this Like you're so pretty And you know here's my number This and that My Instagram everything
Starting point is 00:11:48 Right Yeah Nothing What did you check your requests and all that stuff? I've been checking it for days. But did you get her name was her name on her name tag? No.
Starting point is 00:11:58 No. So that would have been a, that would have been a... I looked at the phone, you know, when you do DMs, you're not a single guy, but I know. I go through it, you know, I'd siphon through all the... I siphoned through all the profile pictures, yeah. Nothing. Yeah. And you know, and you take a risk like that, but it was, she was so pretty, Andrew, that I had to take a risk.
Starting point is 00:12:18 That's really... She must have been, this much, she must have been a smoke show. She was a smoke show. What airline are we talking? Alaska. Oh no. Was she Alaskan? No, she was just a white girl.
Starting point is 00:12:28 She was so attractive. And I thought, you know what I mean? You know, she smiled at me and this and that. Listen up Alaska Airlines. Wait, wait, wait. You didn't talk to her. You just wrote her letter. That's like high school stuff.
Starting point is 00:12:42 Like, wow. And I put check marks like checkboxes. Do you like me? Yes or no. That doesn't work. Self-sabot. Yeah. And that thing with the hand thing.
Starting point is 00:12:50 With her, I gave her one of those. You go to prom with me. Yeah. Yeah, she, well, Alaska Airlines, this is easily hunnable. Anybody out there that works for Alaska, there's a flight out of Burbank that goes to SFO. She didn't find me attractive. Sure she did. You're very attractive.
Starting point is 00:13:06 No, there's lots of rich, famous guys in first class, and Bobby's just one of them. So she has a pick. Oh, that could be. She's getting a lot of barf bag, love notes. Exactly. She got a stack of barf bag love notes at the end. Yeah. I mean, you, I mean, right, would you just, would you just, would you just, would you just
Starting point is 00:13:20 take a risk like that or no. No, because I feel like you'd be called like lame or something in a group text after. Oh, so what, you're departing the plane. There's no time to talk. They're at work. It's not time to talk to girls. So you can, you can never see it again. No. You think people don't, you think that never happens. I don't want to be a part of that. That's, you're not interested. No, I don't want like to be made fun of in public or someone like film me. Like, look at this guy asking this girl out. I'm afraid. You don't want to end up on a TikTok. Yeah, that's scary. Okay, so I'm a flight attendant. Exactly.
Starting point is 00:13:51 Get ready with me when I talk about a creep, my grape. And then they do a breakdown of it. Yeah, I know what you, I've seen, I've watched, I've literally, there's flight attendants who do TikToks and I see him sometimes. And they talk about passenger. Oh, she could TikTok my fucking barf now. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God, that'd be so embarrassing. But you didn't say anything, all you said was, I find you a, well, what did you say?
Starting point is 00:14:11 I drew a, a very detailed, you know what I mean? Swastika? No, of my penis. no because 15 years ago I was I don't know what airport I was in but I was sitting there and this lovely lady sat next to me
Starting point is 00:14:27 and I think this was before I met Kalila and we had a conversation and she was very pretty and very nice and I never got her information I always felt I think about that and sometimes you'll run through the airport you'll just see some of you guys
Starting point is 00:14:43 you'll lock eyes with a girl and a smile and you're like Oh, that's a missed opportunity. And so from now on, I don't want to miss those opportunities. If I feel like... That's cool. Take them. Shoot that shot.
Starting point is 00:14:55 Shoot that shot. What? You're smiling? I don't like it. Well, I'm just saying without your glasses that you don't have, right? Like, you don't see that well, like, two feet apart. So I don't know if those smiles that you see are directed at you, you know? Or you're imagining them.
Starting point is 00:15:17 You do have tremendously dog-shed vision. You think everyone's smiling at you. Everywhere, Bobby goes. Dude, dude, that made me so angry. It makes me so angry. I don't know what it is. I mean, welcome back, but I don't know, dude, you know. That was a good one.
Starting point is 00:15:36 Why don't you look up misconnections? Because I guarantee you there's a misconnections website. You know, is that Craigslist that does it? Yeah. Starbucks in Santa Monica. It's Zoom it. I am the Asian female that was hesitant but talked briefly over coffee about a month ago
Starting point is 00:15:50 for a round and still interest left to have coffee again. This is like wildly sad. It's beautiful but sad as fuck. This is what I'm talking about. This is why you have to seize the moment. And maybe I am blind and I can't see the smiles. Okay. But it doesn't matter because maybe one of them are a smile, you know?
Starting point is 00:16:06 Looking for Sarah from Pasadena, I think. Oh, we should respond to some of these. We should just be Sarah. Look, you got to shoot your shot. Yeah. You're single and free. You've got to keep shooting your shot until you find love, and it's out there. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:16:20 Could it be on Alaska Airlines? Maybe. This guy needs to apologize. Asking the Italian girl of my dreams for an opportunity to apologize in Lancaster, my only sin was to love you too much. I miss how it used to be. You're never alone. I'll always be there if you need me.
Starting point is 00:16:35 I still love you. Oh, my God. These are so heartbreaking. Well, it's even sad or it's that it's on Craigslist. Do people use Craigslist heavily now? I don't think anybody uses that anymore. Facebook Marketplace took it over. That's exactly what it is.
Starting point is 00:16:47 I think there's a lot of love loss and misconnections in this world right now. Well, how do we mend that? How do we mend it? I don't know. I'll tell you where there's a lot of love. San Francisco. Holy fuck, man.
Starting point is 00:16:58 Those gays go fucking bananas. They have the most fun. I got hit on a bunch. I got hit out not one time while I was there. By a gay and I was out. You got no guys? I get no gay love, no. I sit up at the bar to have dinner.
Starting point is 00:17:11 Oh, yeah, I didn't go to any bars. No, at dinner. I had dinner at the restaurant. I mean, the hotel bar. There's another thing that happens. I have a couple things that happened, but another thing that happened was I get a text from some random number saying,
Starting point is 00:17:22 hey, can you speak at my meeting? That's cool, right? So I go, I ignored it, and then, you know what I mean? He was kind of, you know, persistent. So I said, okay, I'll do it, you know? And so I show up. And so there's this one guy in the program, he's the biggest rock star, right?
Starting point is 00:17:44 And he's a guy that I've met, For the last 20 years, he has no idea who I am. You know how you meet somebody and they act as if they've never met you before? You've met a bunch? Yeah, I mean, I've been introduced to him, but it's just, I mean, he's an old or rock legend. Okay. And so now I'm speaking at this meeting and he's sitting there with his wife in the second row. He's never seen me talk, really.
Starting point is 00:18:07 And I have a 30 minutes. I'm the main speaker, right? And so I'm like, all right, I'm going to, you know. You're doing some time? But, you know, I was like, I got, I got to hit this. Yeah. What's your, what's your opener? My opener?
Starting point is 00:18:24 It's because it's so cheesy. I can't. Please. I don't want to do it. Please, please. Because here's the thing is that I have to. For the fans. I will.
Starting point is 00:18:31 So what you're doing is it's not just, you can't go up there because there's this other comic that spoke once and he did his act literally. You know what I mean? He did his stand up and he lost the room. Half the people walked out. and people you know a lot of people know i'm a comedian so it's like you can't go in like and try to be funny right so you start with real so yeah so i start i said i just first thing as i say you know i have to see that a is the greatest thing that's ever happened to me true you know
Starting point is 00:19:01 and um when i was 17 years old i um luckily got you know a spiritual licking or a psychic change you know and um and then move on from there you know me about helping others and this and that right and but then I go into I know my my you know pitch is it I can get funny you can talk about my parents and stuff right right so I do start doing acts you know I mean you know I mean and I'm doing it and I'm doing it and I'm doing pretty good yeah it's like 350 people there 300 people that's a big it's a big a meeting I look over and the guys oh he's dead he looked like he was dead
Starting point is 00:19:46 yeah yeah and I'm like he didn't hear a word you said yeah but anyway yeah he but you know I my fantasy would be you know I mean you know come over to my house you know I mean
Starting point is 00:20:02 come over yeah to the house yeah and then you know and then it's like you know here's an original signed you know whatever I don't know I get it I get thank you you you know I think you keep you know I want to have that moment of like like you
Starting point is 00:20:15 like you and Taylor Swift you know like he says something funny and I'm like very funny I want that phone
Starting point is 00:20:27 everybody wants that photo all right of just you and Obama or somebody you had a redemption with another rock legend the other night at the comedy store
Starting point is 00:20:37 oh that's where I had another redemption who I think I could say Edith Kitas you redeemed yourself with Anthony
Starting point is 00:20:44 yeah Like now he's, you're back in his good graces? Did you speak to him for a while? Yeah. Oh, yeah. And? It was magical. You give you a second copy of something?
Starting point is 00:20:54 No. But I almost went like this. Almost, but. You think that's, you think that's good. Domino's. Hey, man. You know what, dude? What, baby?
Starting point is 00:21:14 I love. Two things in life. Let me guess. Specialty things and pizzas, right? I knew it. What did Domino's do? Do they do speciality pizzas? Are you serious?
Starting point is 00:21:23 A combo, dude. And just get, check it out, dude. What? Look at this red box here. Delicious? You eat the box? You know what it is? What?
Starting point is 00:21:31 Extravaganza. Is that an extravaganza? It's an extravaganza. I already took a bite here. I already had a piece, but I'm going to have another bite of this extravaganza. This extravaganza. A super loaded deluxe pizza with pepperoni, ham,
Starting point is 00:21:42 Italian sausage, beef, fresh onions, fresh green pepper. peppers, fresh mushrooms, black olives, all sandwiched between two layers of provolone and cheese made with 100% real mozzarella. I'm drooling right now. I'm drooling. I got a couple of really good pizzas on my table right now, and this one especially. Is that what I think it is? That is the spicy chicken and bacon ranch.
Starting point is 00:22:00 Ladies and gents, this thing is phenomenal. I love jalapenos, especially because I like a little spice and a kick, and they drizzle with a little buffalo sauce. Of course, it's made with 100% real mozzarella. And in here, they got that grilled chicken breast, smoke bacon, and jalapenos. Probably one of my favorite combinations of food layered on delicious crispy crust. Ooh, Dominoes. You know, they have other ones.
Starting point is 00:22:22 You know, Wisconsin. Oh, oh, my God. They have the Wisconsin. Come over with the Wisconsin one. They got the six cheese. The Wisconsin six cheese. And also your favorite city, Memphis, Memphis Barbecue Chicken. Wow.
Starting point is 00:22:33 And a wakalakaliki did. And wakalakaliki, Muku. You know, so we got, we got Halenolulu Hawaiian is up there as well. And Pacific veggie, dude. They got so many different kinds of dominoes now between the spin. spinach and feta, the extravaganza, the meats. They also got, yo, Philly Cheesesteak, dude. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:49 Yeah, use it over there, go get a Philly cheese steak. They got the Philly Cheesesteak pizza. Delicious. So, if you're at home and you're hungry, get yourself some dominoes. Doop.com. Did you know there's a website that shows you identical versions of expensive products for way less? It's called, my friend, dupe.com.
Starting point is 00:23:09 No, I have heard of this. By the way, because a lot of people are doing TikTok shopping. People are buying stuff off TikTok shop, and I'm telling you, you're paying way too much for all that stuff. I was able to find some fun stuff that I wanted to buy on TikTok a little, when he's little cleaners from my windows from my car. And it was, I don't know, much cheaper. I think it was like 30 or 40 percent cheaper than it was on the Internet. All you have to do, it's very, very simple. All you have to do is type in dupe.com forward slash before any product URL, and it instantly shows you similar or more affordable alternatives.
Starting point is 00:23:37 All you do is just go to dupe.com and paste a URL or even upload a product image, and it's going to show. show you the cheapest version possible. Doop.com exposes the markup, so you're not paying double just for the same name. That's right. That's the best part. Doop.com is 100% free to use, by the way. No cost to you. It's not.
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Starting point is 00:24:21 No account required. No sign up required. It's completely free to use. Stop overspending on brand names and start saving on holiday gifts with dupe.com immediately. It's Men's Health Awareness Month and Talkspace wants to know how you feel. Guys, this November, prioritize your health by prioritizing your mental health with TalkSpace. Can I talk to you? Please.
Starting point is 00:24:38 Yeah. Every Thursday, you know, we have the schedule all my therapy. You always go to therapy. Without places like Talkspace, I'm not, I'm a gonar. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I think it's very important. It's extremely important.
Starting point is 00:24:49 Therapy can be costly, by the way. It can be. And thank out for Talkspace. It's affordable and in network with most insurance providers. And we are a big proponent of talking to someone on this show. And Talkspace therapy and psychiatry are covered by many insurance plans, like I said. And you can easily sign up online and get paired with the licensed therapist who's going to fit your needs well, typically within 48 hours. And you can always switch providers at no cost.
Starting point is 00:25:08 Talk Spakes makes getting help convenient because you can make your, appointments from the comfort and privacy of your own home. Yeah, that's right. You can even talk it out between sessions by sending text, video, or audio messages to your therapist. There's more to men's health awareness month than just mustaches. Talkspace is here to help you with therapy on your terms. As a listener of this podcast, you're going to get $80 off your first month with Talkspace when you go to Talkspace.com slash bad friends and enter the promo code, Space 80. That's Space 80, S-P-A-C-E-80. To match with the licensed therapist today, Go over to talkspace.com slash bad friends.
Starting point is 00:25:43 And enter the promo code, Space 80. And you have a new movie coming out? All I get to TikTok is all his movie. What movie? The magic movie. Every other ad is the magic movie that you're in the movie. Yeah, you are in the magic movie. I'm in one scene.
Starting point is 00:25:57 You're in the movie. And then you disappear. He's good. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'm in one's fucking scene. It doesn't matter. You're in the movie. And whenever I see that,
Starting point is 00:26:11 I go, my boys in this. I'm so proud of them. Shut up. I mean, really, I'm real. That's good. Elite stuff. You know how little movies are being made, right? And for somebody in our ecosystem, a stand-up, you know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:26:25 An actor that gets into anything is a big deal. Let's have a, come on, man. Thanks, man. Step into your glory, dude. What happens in it? What do you play? In the movie? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:26:38 Now you see me. Yeah. And no, you don't. I pop in and I pop around. Are you a patron? What is it? I mean, you didn't send an NDA. You can talk about your role.
Starting point is 00:26:49 Well, I'm in the crowd and I'm yelling at, I'm yelling at them on stage. They're all on stage. Eisenberg. Woody and. Morgan Freeman? Fisher. No, Morgan's not there.
Starting point is 00:27:01 Yeah. And I La Fisher. Yeah. Woody was. Talk to me about, can I add? Woody would, the coolest thing was meeting Woody. I was fascinating. I wanted to meet him so good.
Starting point is 00:27:10 Did you know who you were? No, no, no, no. No, but the director introduced me. He's like, oh, he's a comedian. He's like, I love comedians. And he's like, he does a podcast. And he's like, I have a podcast. I was like, yeah.
Starting point is 00:27:21 And then he was like, did you say that your podcast does better numbers? Than his? I mean, does it? I checked on YouTube. Does it? No, I didn't look it up. I actually have no idea.
Starting point is 00:27:30 I don't, does he do, does he have a pod or is he's just starting it? But he was just talking about the world he's fascinating. Oh, yeah, him and him and, him and Ted dancing. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know, rad dude, very nice guy. I'm more broken up right now because my boy got his title stripped away. My good friend.
Starting point is 00:27:49 Good of you. Prince Andrew, they've. Good one. They took it away, man. Good one. Let's go back to the movie now. That was a really good deflection. No, but I see what you're trying to do.
Starting point is 00:28:01 You want to go this way. I have nothing to say about the movie. It was fun. I mean, I'm in one quick scene. It was awesome. I mean, it was a Budapest. We talked about going to Budapest. It was great.
Starting point is 00:28:09 I'm going to see it. I hope it's good. Yeah. I don't know. I know nothing. This is one of those things where you touch it and you leave. I have no idea.
Starting point is 00:28:16 I get in there and then they're like, thank you, goodbye. Although Budapest film crew, probably the best film crew I've ever worked with in my, no, I'm not kidding. No, I know, I did it. Shocking.
Starting point is 00:28:25 They're amazing. They're so fucking good. They're so great. They're on top of everything and you're like, oh, I don't need that. Hot too, some of them. Yeah, some of the girls too. But it was really, no, it was a great time.
Starting point is 00:28:36 But yes, I'm going to go see the beautiful architecture. I hope people go see it. Some of it, half the city is. The other half is in ruins. It's in ruins, yeah. But I'm more concerned about all these Japanese bears getting loose. I was thinking about you the other day. I wanted to call you.
Starting point is 00:28:48 Yeah, I've been seeing that later. They're overtaking Japan. Yeah. Brack bear everywhere. That's the headline. I wonder why. Because they're not having as many children. Now, I think they're overpopulating because they're not being controlled.
Starting point is 00:28:59 There's no hunters. So they're, I think they're inviting hunters to come help. Why kill them? Because they're killing people. I know, but can you gather? than them up, and then they can put them in an area, a fenced in an area where this is black country, black bear country.
Starting point is 00:29:17 This is Baltimore. Germany. This is Baltimore. Frodey and asleep. Yeah. Well, I'm just saying, like, create a town, you know what I mean? All right. All the black bears go there. Yeah. And you stay there. Yeah, don't drink out of the white bear fountain. Right.
Starting point is 00:29:34 According to the Japan Times, 12 people have been killed more than 100 others are injured nationwide. just this year alone. Wow. It's pretty crazy. Yeah. Whoa, that black bears are gnarly. Look at that.
Starting point is 00:29:44 And they're getting more aggressive. Yeah. Like, apparently they're showing up and like trying to get into people's houses. Mm. It's fucking rad. Japan's hunter population has been shrinking. People don't hunt.
Starting point is 00:29:55 60% of licensed hunters now are over 60. So there's no kids are doing it. Yeah. I would just gather them up and bring them somewhere. Like there's other islands around, right? You put them on boats. Yeah, put them on boats and bring them. Not Okinawa, that's a pretty populated.
Starting point is 00:30:11 Yeah, put them on boats. Like, we can call it ammastad, whatever you want to do. However you want to do it. No. Put them down to, yeah, Okinawa. They already did that once, Okinawa. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:30:22 Yeah, but there's probably other islands around Japan where they can, you know what I mean, put the bears in. Cage them. So you think. I don't, killing animals is not my thing. Yeah, but if they're killing people, you got to protect your population.
Starting point is 00:30:35 Oh, yeah, we have guns. So, I guess we have guns. They don't, they don't these guys have guns. I mean, they do have guns in Japan, but not like that. Yeah. Wow, they're pretty big. And they're mauling people, huh? And they don't look Japanese at all.
Starting point is 00:30:46 Yeah. I thought they'd look a little bit more Japanese. Well, why can't they just, you know, get their guy to do it? Who's that? Who's their prime minister or whatever? No. Huh? Godzilla.
Starting point is 00:30:59 Release Godzilla, dude. Godzilla would fuck that thing up, no? We call on you to help us, Godzilla. Yeah, yeah. Or Mothra. I mean, you know, Mothra. Mothro can pluck a puck, pluck, pluck, pluck, pluck, pluck, pluck. I have a stuttering problem.
Starting point is 00:31:13 AI, how many bears can, how many bears versus Godzilla? How many bears would it take for Godzilla? Yeah. I wonder what the scale would be. No number of normal sized bears can take out Godzilla. See, you're right. Yeah, he could wipe out probably a million of them. Well, let's get, let's reenact it.
Starting point is 00:31:30 Yeah. Let's get him out here. Or Mothra would be easier because he, Mothro can fly and just pluck them from the ground. Yeah, pick him out of the sky. Throw him in the ocean. and throw them in the ocean. Yeah, that's actually, yeah, yeah, or something, you know. Well, get on it, Japan.
Starting point is 00:31:41 What do you guys fucking waiting for? Don't, you know, cage those Mothra. They've got to be released. Little tiny Japanese. What's the last time we saw Mothra? He's been out. I think he had an injury here. Like an MCL tear or something.
Starting point is 00:31:52 He's been out. He's on injured reserve. Yeah. I want to bring Yamamoto and Otani and the baseball bats that go over there. Congratulations to the Dodgers. Oh, yeah, the Dodgers. You're wearing your Dodgers hat today. Go you.
Starting point is 00:32:02 My, it's heartbreaking to see Blue J's fans out. I just feel so bad for them. Nope. Why? U S A U S A U.S.A U.S.S.A!
Starting point is 00:32:15 Don't fuck with us, Canada. I know, but you know, they were leading for most of the game. Yeah, they're in home turf. They blew it. And you could just see them just like just not being able to get it over the line. I actually loved it, dude. I loved it, dude.
Starting point is 00:32:29 It was fucking great. Yeah. Yeah, I was, it was kind of wild to watch. Especially because I was in San Francisco when they won and S.F. fucking hates the Dodgers. They were so mad. So Tuesday, this guy came up to me, he goes, hey, I'm friends with Theo. I go, okay.
Starting point is 00:32:44 And he goes, I'm the new manager of the Giants. The team manager? Yeah. I just got hired this is my first year. I'm starting work next week or something, but I wanted to really. Starting work next week? I don't know what it was. That's not how they talk.
Starting point is 00:32:56 Yeah, that's, but that is, give me the name. Tony. Tony Vitalo came to my show Tuesday. Seriously? Yeah, with this girl. Wow. Yeah, super nice. I mean, I didn't do it that well, but, um,
Starting point is 00:33:07 Yeah, Tony Vitello game. Really nice guy. That's fucking rad. Yeah. I mean, still Taylor So, but, you know. That's the manager of a bad sports team. Not bad. Are they bad?
Starting point is 00:33:17 No, they're okay. They're fine. Is he, it's new? I mean, I told him, I go, you have a shot, right? He can, he's a manager. He can rearrange. Yeah. They don't have control?
Starting point is 00:33:27 It's baseball's money. The Dodgers have all the fucking money. Soccer's the same way. Isn't soccer the exact same way? I don't know. There's no cap on soccer, right? Yeah. Do you guys have a salary cap?
Starting point is 00:33:36 No, so it's the same thing. So why are the best teams the best consistently? They have the most money. If there's no salary cap, that's why people hate the Dodgers. The Dodgers spent the most fucking money. But 12 years ago, Lester City won the Premier League, right? Yeah. And they were the worst team.
Starting point is 00:33:52 They have no money, right? Yeah. They came from the championship straight to the Premier League. No star. They had Jamie Vardy, which is the one guy. I've seen that name. I know that. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:34:05 And they won the Premier League. happen in America because of the refs. And we have teams like Manchester City and Chelsea, Roman and Brovanovich owns Chelsea. He's like an oil baron from Russia. I mean, they have all the money in the world and Lester still won. My point being is that you can still be a thrifty manager and look at stats and go, you know what I mean? This kid, I know, he isn't a household name or, you know what I mean, but I think he's perfect, you know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:34:33 No, I know what you're saying. I think that may happen in soccer in baseball, unfortunately now. There was a guy, Billy Bean for the Oakland A's, and he kind of revolutionized. You never see Moneyball? No. With Jonah Hill and Brad Pitt, you didn't see that movie.
Starting point is 00:34:45 It was fucking phenomenal. But it was about the story of this, what you're saying. He kind of like an iconic manager who literally kind of revolutionized the way you could pick players and get them young. But it's a big money game now. It's all bullshit. It's all money game.
Starting point is 00:35:00 That's why people fucking, that's why those guys really hate the Dodgers. They got the most fucking money. And I get it. It was like for years as a kid, Yankees for me. It was always the Yankees. I was always like, the Yankees are unstoppable. Oh, my God. $350 million. But this summer, what Arsenal did was, if I can talk soccer for a second. I'd love it. And wait, let me ask you a real question. So, Lester City, is that what you said?
Starting point is 00:35:22 Yeah. So some of the players are they from the area as well? So they have pride and local So this is the thing that we don't do anymore either, right? Yeah. So most of these kids are fucking from elsewhere and you just play with the team that you play with. The cool thing about soccer that I love is that you see these local guys play for their squad. There's city, there's like pride. We also have a youth program. Yeah. And Bukai Yusaka, Ethan Wanyeri.
Starting point is 00:35:47 Some of these players are Lewis Skelly. They're all, Lewis Skelly is 18, and he's in the main team. He plays with the main team in Arsenal. Waniari is 18, 19. And they're all from Hellend. They're all from the academy. and our big star, Bokaiosaka, is from the academy as well. So it's like they've been there as kids.
Starting point is 00:36:10 Right. And we raise them. Pride. There's semblance of pride. We don't have that. I'm jealous of that. You used to have a player. When I was a kid, like, you know, Jordan was Chicago to us.
Starting point is 00:36:20 He stayed in Chicago. Right? Like there used to be kind of a vibe. Like you stay there as long as you could. Now these guys don't give a fuck. They're going to go wherever they're going to go, whoever's got the best check. And that's how it goes. That's sad.
Starting point is 00:36:32 Well, that's just the best. But the business did. that. These guys don't really have his, it's almost like you're put in a position when the Dodgers called Shohei and they gave him $700 million. Yeah. I mean, how else is he going to pay for those gambling? Let me ask you a question. So this summer, Arsenal FC, so Liverpool, right, spent so much money, they got this guy, ISAC and all these guys, and they spent $150 million per player. Jesus. Isaac cost, over 100 million pounds. Jesus Christ. But what our Tedda did was he bought people from leagues that people were like teams that were like this summer
Starting point is 00:37:10 like 30 million for that guy. Who is this guy? Like we bought a defender named Muscaro. No one had really heard of him. But he knew. But he knows that he would fit right into the team. And so now Arsenal has a backup for every position that's just as good. Whereas Liverpool spent two or three millions of dollars on two, three, four players. They don't have the backup. You know what I mean? And It's about stats and about like, you mean, what's going to work in our system, you know? Right. No, I think it's fascinating. But I don't know much about baseball.
Starting point is 00:37:43 So you're saying that baseball, there's no. So the Dodgers doesn't have like a youth program. Well, they have a farm system, right? We have a farm, you have a farm league, like you have AAA, you have a, you do have a system. But these guys are quick to get rid of them and trade them, especially if they can't afford them. You know, that was kind of, you don't, you don't have scouts? They do. They do.
Starting point is 00:38:01 They do. For kids. Oh, yeah. Like 12 year old. Oh, yeah, they scout middle school and high school. Then you bring them to the Dodgers Youth Academy. Do they have that? Well, they have, yeah, they do have training facilities.
Starting point is 00:38:10 And then you guys live here. But most of the time, do you go to school here? Yeah. That's more a non-American thing. Like, the NBA just started that in India not long ago. Yeah. In India? Yeah, because they're looking for the next seven foot around.
Starting point is 00:38:21 What to play basketball, man. I won't do hoop. I won't you let me play. Yeah, yeah. Listen, Ranjit, you're five foot seven. I can't be a standard? Yeah. Why can I be a starting center?
Starting point is 00:38:34 it is fucking funny that we all we do the NBA the NBA has so much money overseas because like guys like Steph Curry he's probably bigger in China than he is I mean he's huge he's global superstar but like overseas there's so much money in the NBA overseas because Asian kids fucking love the NBA we can't sell the NFL to almost anybody but the NBA you can sell the fucking everybody everybody love I mean it's those guys go to China they do like a like Steph and those guys they'll go do like a summer camp in China and make like $30 million for like a weekend at camp. Just because he's, you know, they're, they're massive overseas. I mean, big here, but still. Can I ask you another question about
Starting point is 00:39:14 sports? Lebron James. Do you ever tell you that story when I was on a boat? You met him? No, no, I was a boat in Europe and the guy's like, you know LeBron James? I was like, yeah, he goes, he will stay there when he come here, that place. He will stay. I was like, he's he there now? He goes, no, but we will watch. I guess he stays at the same, like, mansion. They're like, Lebron James, this is Lebron Chains. Wow, wow, wow. What did you ask me about basketball? No, I want to talk about, because now, you know, I'm really kind of getting into baseball a little bit this year.
Starting point is 00:39:42 Love. Yeah. I had no idea why it would be exciting. But now, you know, watching the World Series and the playoffs and stuff, I get it. It's a nerd game. But I don't get football. I don't expect. American football.
Starting point is 00:39:56 And I want you to convince me that it's good. Why is it good? Well, you know, baseball is my number one. So I can't. I agree with you. But baseball is like soccer and the fact that like these are all, this is all chess moves. Yeah. Soccer's coordinated chess moves.
Starting point is 00:40:09 Baseball has calculated statistical moves. Yeah. Trying to advance players in different positions to the likelihood of scoring and positioning. Football is that too. It's fucking awesome. But you like it because you like, you like these little technical moves and I think that's what you like. Football is more like pure raw athletic strength and talent and ability going at each other at full speed as hard as you can. There's a strategy
Starting point is 00:40:33 Of course there's strategy to it It's hard I don't know Selling you on football's tough You don't like You don't like violent sports at all I do UFC I was a big fan of it But you know what show that I've been watching
Starting point is 00:40:43 On Netflix I command everyone in this room to watch it There's a show called Physical 100 Bring it up But it's Asia Right Oh I'm out
Starting point is 00:40:53 So it's basically So it was a Korean Yeah So that's the Philippine team That's Manny Pakiya? Yes. So like it's Australia, Indonesia, Korea, Japan, Turkey, right? Look at the tits on that guy.
Starting point is 00:41:11 Yeah, Turkey, Thailand, and they're all competing, right? Are the Thailand a bunch of lady boys in the... No, but I think Indonesia or Thailand does have a lady boy on it. They should. Cool. But it's, but the Philippines are making me laugh. Why? Because, man, he's so small.
Starting point is 00:41:29 He's so tiny. You know what I mean? What is the competition? What do they do? Well, there's only four episodes right now, but it's basically the first one was they have these four platforms, circular platforms, right? And there's, I think, eight countries, right? Okay. And each, so they basically, there's a gigantic circle, and in the middle of this dirt mound is gigantic circle. See if you can see these.
Starting point is 00:41:54 He's bringing it up right now. This is the trailer for it. Yeah, yeah. But it's not, it's not show, because they're going to show the whole thing. Oh, yeah. So you can see the circular thing right there. Right, right, right. Okay.
Starting point is 00:42:05 So you have eight countries and you have to dominate a circle. Wow. So the most people on the circle, right? Right. If you have like... It's King of the Hill. King of the Hill, but it's like how many others? One, two, three.
Starting point is 00:42:18 I think there's five. This is rad. Right? But it's like when you're watching the first round, you can see Man of Epico just flying from the screen. Yeah. It's pretty brutal. Can they punch?
Starting point is 00:42:29 You can't punch, but it can't punch, but it can. gets pretty scrappy dude it's a really you can hold down it's a fun show to watch yeah yeah I'm in I'm already in but like but there's some countries I mean that would just like US we would just well yeah that's why they don't want us a part of this shit
Starting point is 00:42:42 we'd get the most lunatic yeah out of our mind guys ex-military like just ready to fucking kill at will but every team has famous people on it like you know um so the Australian team has Robert Whitaker he's one of the best UFC fighter you know Whitaker and then um that's fucking Mongolia they're badass
Starting point is 00:43:00 And look at Genghis Khan. We call them Genghis Khan in the middle. Look at it. They have Genghis in there, dude. Look at them. But it's a really fun show. Physical 100. Yeah, Physical 100.
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Starting point is 00:46:05 I don't know, dude, to get you into football, honestly, though, we'd have to embed you with a team, and your team left your city and came here, which is you're here now. Yeah, the Chargers, yeah. Well, maybe you could be a Chargers fan. You put for Tottenham for you. Ooh. Ooh, something came out?
Starting point is 00:46:19 Yeah. Oh, that's a, that's a tonsal stone. Yeah. No, don't put it in an art. Yeah, I like to, I like to. There's a lot of things. Ferment there. A zimping burp
Starting point is 00:46:28 It was a tonsil stone Yeah Do you get those all the time? It's not tonsil stone Dude, it's soft, look Okay All right It looks like it
Starting point is 00:46:38 It does look exactly like a tonsil stone All hard deposit That's what I thought it was What? Tonsal stones It's just debris They get stuck in those little Like those little hangy things
Starting point is 00:46:47 In the back of your mouth Did it smell your finger Does it smell? Yeah, it smells like what I ate It was crab It was crab? It's a crab It's a crab
Starting point is 00:46:54 Oh it's a piece of a crab Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Welcome back, fancy. No big deal. No big deal. Yeah, yeah. I went there. I went to the fucking crab place last night, and it fucked me.
Starting point is 00:47:05 Oh, bro. What do you mean? The bowling crab. It's too much sodium. I can't do it. It's too much. I just don't like mass amounts of seafood. Yeah, and then you got to get the potatoes and the carrots with it, but it's like,
Starting point is 00:47:17 and then if you go medium, like who, when did fire become a flavor? An element should not be a, I don't ever want to eat a sandwich and go, this is earthy, right? Have you tried our new Windburger? Yeah, or Windburger. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's delicious.
Starting point is 00:47:35 When did fire, who likes it? You get fire, you know what I mean? I agree. I hate the taste, like, when they do, it's a smoky thing. I don't want smoke. Smoke tastes like you burnt it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:47:43 I don't want smoky anything. Yeah. They do that a lot with drinks now, too. They smoke on top of a cocktail. I don't want the smoke. Yeah, or you go to an omacasa place, right? They'd take, they sliced tuna or whatever. Toro.
Starting point is 00:47:55 They put it. you're right on a wooden plate but then they put a thing over it and they stick smoke in it like cedar wood I don't like that yeah and I'm like I don't I totally agree I fucking hate that flavor I don't I don't know why they do that somebody it's it's a culinary thing it's got to be like a cool fancy culinary thing and then that's that makes that
Starting point is 00:48:13 in the community that makes it good or don't put fucking you know I mean um caviar on top of salmon you're like now you the mom and the fucking kids well we I don't eat the mom and And the kids. You've never had chicken and eggs? I refuse. It's not,
Starting point is 00:48:29 it's a combination I can't do. No, I'll do it. Chicken and eggs? I'll have, it's mom and baby. Yeah, the family's all together.
Starting point is 00:48:37 We'll get grandpa in there then, then. Might as well. Yeah. Like I'll take, I'll take a ground patty of, of like, meat with, you know,
Starting point is 00:48:44 a full grown cow and then it's mixed with like, a baby calf, you know, why not? What's it called again? What's wrong? Veal.
Starting point is 00:48:52 Veal is delicious. I can't do baby anything. So you don't, you want them full grown. on before you eat them? Well, I'll be honest with you. There's been a lot of guilt now as of late of eating meat. Why?
Starting point is 00:49:05 Like, TikTok algorithms. Oh, Lib Talk. He's on Lib Talk. I'm on Lip Talk, dude. We lost him to Lib Talk. Yeah, yeah. And, you know, people just raising cows and the cows cuddling with their owners. Right.
Starting point is 00:49:19 You've never seen that? No, I mean, I've seen, yeah. They kiss on the lips. I love it. Well, then you move to India. Like this They worship the cow Like this
Starting point is 00:49:27 This is like Ooh Look at that Look at that See how many smash burgers Could you make out of that? A lot A lot
Starting point is 00:49:32 Yeah We can make a lot Out of that But I've done Look at that Yeah Yeah Those are free range
Starting point is 00:49:39 Happy cows Yeah You don't feel guilt No Because they're sentient being Like the other day I went to your house I saw your dog
Starting point is 00:49:46 Yeah Right Yeah They have the same human Connection There's not enough Meat on her though I know
Starting point is 00:49:51 She's tiny That's why I have a tiny dog Brad Williams would be faithful. I know what you're saying. I get it, dude. I have this. I've had this moral dilemma before in my mind, but also I really love red meat.
Starting point is 00:50:03 I like it so much. I do too, but it's like, you know what? I can't wait until let's like grow it. Well, they're working. They're doing that now. What do you mean? We have that. Yeah, but get to a point where it's like tasting good.
Starting point is 00:50:16 Yeah. Get to it doesn't taste like shit. Yeah, like accessible. But it's all, we're all in beta with all this stuff. Like this fucking home robot they're pushing. out. You know this? Oh yeah, that thing, yeah. That thing looks like shit. And then you have to have, do you know what they need to do? A guy to control it. Yes. Yeah, it's insane. Yeah, why don't the guy controlling just do it? I know. This is very dumb. Yeah, look, a guy has to control that fucker. And they want
Starting point is 00:50:36 20K for this thing? Is that how much it is? Yeah. The dumbest fucking thing I've ever heard. I'm thinking about getting one. I know. You know, I love Romano. I knew you. I know, I know. I have to wait for Optimus. Yeah. I'm going to wait until that improves though. Yeah. You know what I mean? Bobby, would you like me to clean up the cat poop today again. Yeah. I don't want to keep asking you, I think it's the dumbest,
Starting point is 00:50:57 I watched the video of it. You know what it did that blew my mind in that one promo video? It does this. It like wakes up. He's like, Neo, load the dishwasher. And then it goes like this
Starting point is 00:51:06 and it looks at its hands and that made me go, because that's what I do. If I'm like fucked up on drugs, I always looked at my hands. Yeah, because you're like, oh, where am I? Is this mine?
Starting point is 00:51:15 Imagine sleeping and then that's, wake up. Look at that. Neo, what the fuck? I need you to wake up. also put a mouth on it yeah i mean you did the eyes what's how hard is it just put them out let me get a little bit of morning head we are literally three years away from these things also being just sex styles it's like the neo programmers are like look sir they're doing no chores
Starting point is 00:51:36 all day yeah they've loaded not one dishwasher we're we're 10 years away from um probably 20% of the households having something like that in the house how many people have a google device where you can talk to it and it can play music or how many have like a Alexa or whatever you do you do yeah yeah three out of five 10 years ago you were like what are you talking not 15 years ago but now in the future everything's going to be automated you're going to talk to the microwave you're going to be like my get the food from the fridge talk to each other and then put it in there and heat it up yeah and by the way yeah gonna be rad fancy went home to Spain to go see family you were gone for what would two and a half weeks yeah exactly two and a half weeks yeah
Starting point is 00:52:16 because I miss you every day I have it on my calendar fancy gone fancy gone fancy gone fancy gone We did miss you like crazy. I texted you a few times just out like I missed seeing you. I finally joined Bobby's Club. What is that? Oh. Yeah. It's a tough one, man.
Starting point is 00:52:33 Yeah. It's I still, at times I'll just think about them, you know. It's so surreal that they're no longer with us. Yeah. The worst thing was the bureaucracy of death, you know? The bureaucracy of death. Yes. It's a great band.
Starting point is 00:52:49 Yeah. Exactly. It really is. It's a great bureaucracy of death. So much stuff. There's so much bullshit that comes along with death. Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:52:58 And it's also a racket is what you're like the amount of money that happens when people die, the amount of what, it's just, it's fucking, it's a racket. It's crazy. Birth, wedding, death, the three best businesses you can get into. Yeah. Because it will never go away. Yeah. If you want the most secure job in the world, do birth, weddings and deaths.
Starting point is 00:53:14 You will never not have work forever. And they can, and they fuck people over. They rip them off. Oh, yeah. Everything was like that. Like, my dad wanted to be. cremated like yours and we have to still pick a coffin wait why exactly that's why I asked well because that's how it is they're not going to cremate it by itself so you have to buy and they show you
Starting point is 00:53:35 you don't know the prices it's like how long is it going to be there like just to go through the thing wow so so basically they're like you have to pay for the coffin for them to be in it while they while they burn it right god that's fucking crazy but everything is like that insane yeah Do you have the ashes? Yeah, I do. Do you want to mix ashes with me? It's not about a... Yeah.
Starting point is 00:53:59 I still have mine. Let's mix it. Better... Just see what happened. You get a Spanish-Korean goat? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What would happen, what would happen? If you make...
Starting point is 00:54:09 To their souls, yeah. They probably... They would just bump into each other. They don't even know each other. They'd be freaky. This merge in the afterlife. Oh, you? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:54:18 Where would you love to spread that your dad's ashes if you had your... Like some place in the... Italy, you know, a place he loved some, my dad was an art history, professors or something in that world. That's fucking cool. Like anything Italian, like over an olive garden? Can we do that? We go back to John and Vinny's if you got. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:54:35 We could sprinkle your dad over the gems out. My budget is tight, so yeah, maybe. Do you want to be burned? Yeah. Okay. Yeah, my grandfather, who was like my literal hero, I've talked about on the show, he always, he always was like, land is for the living. He would go past cemeteries, he'd be like, this is fucking bullshit.
Starting point is 00:54:55 It's a bullshit way. It's like, you don't need to, no one is immortal. Land is for the living. Get out of here. Let the next people have the land. Why do you have to plot land and be like, I mean, I grew up like having to go to the cemetery
Starting point is 00:55:06 and like, you know, people like, it's a little surreal, like cleaning the. Oh, yeah. Now, did some people have a stone to have a tombstone? Do your dad, does he have one? No, no, no. My dad didn't want any of that. Your dad's the fucking man.
Starting point is 00:55:17 I'm going to go old school, Barry. Barry, yeah. Right? Just in case. Just in case it's sick Like what if McCone wants to visit me No no But here's what you do
Starting point is 00:55:28 You take the ashes You spread them in a place That means meaningful to you That you can visit often And then you see them all the time But your little titbits and ashy Bits are all over the fucking place What I'm saying is that
Starting point is 00:55:37 My body will be in a place Your body will be gone It'll be gone before you even Before anyone It's gone It's not there anymore You'll rot through the coffin You'll rot to the coffin
Starting point is 00:55:45 You'll rot to the coffin The bugs and the things Will get in there They eat you that it dissipates into almost nothing there's not there'll be nothing left kind of so depressing I think it'd be cool to be buried just no coffin and actually just decompose
Starting point is 00:55:59 in the earth yeah that's well they do that dude they do those wraps those they're called like eternal what do they called it's tree ones yeah I'm gonna do a tree one yeah the famous actor did it there was a famous actor that did that right that he or he said because he got cancer
Starting point is 00:56:11 that he wanted to do it but it's like an eternal they wrap you in this biodegradable thing and you kind of go back into the earth and it's all that's fucking rad that to me is very cool yeah just bearing a body is illegal Wait a minute Seriously?
Starting point is 00:56:24 Like a felony? I mean, if you die You can't just bury McCone in your backyard I'll be right back Oh dude Speaking of that This is fucking crazy They just found in Vegas
Starting point is 00:56:34 Did you see that 200 plus bodies Or something buried in Vegas Like casino Yeah, yeah I know they finally found Wow They finally found
Starting point is 00:56:43 What was a funeral home It was a funeral home Now they're pinning it On a funeral home A funeral home Recovers 300 plus piles of human remains outside Las Vegas. What do you mean?
Starting point is 00:56:54 A funeral home took the bodies and buried it? No, there... What do you mean? There's a federal investigation, Zuma, a federal investigation into who dumped more than 300 piles of human remains. They think a funeral home did it. But why would they do that? It's probably cheaper than paying for the...
Starting point is 00:57:09 Because there's got to be some sort of... I bet you it's expensive to remove human remains. There's probably a fee. And they were like, fuck this. We'll just throw in the desert. I'm guessing. Wow. Bureau of Land Management officially confirmed piles
Starting point is 00:57:20 where human remains, the department was actively investigating cremains. So they were all cremated, cremated bodies. Well, then what's... 350 piles of dead bodies. Wow. That's so many. Yeah, there are rules to, you know, in order to spread the ashes. You know, you want to do it in the ocean.
Starting point is 00:57:36 You have to be, I don't know how many kilometers in. You cannot just do it. Right. Right. There are laws. You can scatter. You're on your own property, obviously, of course. Public land, the rules may vary by the location.
Starting point is 00:57:46 National parks, you have to get a special use permit. who do you think is buried in a spread in a national park gotta be Roosevelt right I mean wouldn't that make the most sense oceans and waterways but you can spread ashes sneakily a lot of people do that yeah people do it all time well people do you know people do a lot I've heard this that people go to like when they go to baseball games
Starting point is 00:58:05 or soccer field soccer pitches or something that means a lot to them they carry a little bag and they spread it out there oh cool that that I think you would fucking emirates yeah what is that someone's mom from bad friends live that what are you being serious Yes, it's Luke's mom. This is from... Oh, this from London?
Starting point is 00:58:21 No, no. It was from, I believe, Pittsburgh. I can't believe we still have that. Yeah, we've had it for two years here. We don't know what to do with them. This is meaningful to him. Well, let's combine Luke's mom, your dad, and your dad. Yeah, that's what happened.
Starting point is 00:58:35 What if Luke's mom's hot? Yeah. Your dwelt of your dad's would be like, fuck, yeah. Thank you, Bob. Yeah, yeah. From me, the afterlife. Let's mix them, dude. I see bone.
Starting point is 00:58:46 Do you have some of your dad? He's not going to... Here in L.A. He's not going to make it. He's not going to do it. I just think we should. I mean, I guess did Koreans and Spanish always get along? I think my dad and your dad would get along. Koreans are a little abusive, so I don't know.
Starting point is 00:59:01 Yeah, a little. Holy shit. Well, look at that. Modern relations between South Korea and Spaniards are very good, characterized by increasing cooperation in cultural exchange. Historically, Spanish missionaries who first encountered Koreans described them as peaceful, intelligent, though a long period of limited interaction followed.
Starting point is 00:59:15 Once they saw them once, they were like, they're very nice. Like, you're going to go back? No chance. Both countries have since forged a modern strategic partnership based on shared values like democracy and have experienced similar histories of civil war and subsequent rapid economic growth. That is pretty fucking interesting. I mean, it is kind of wild to think about the spreading of the ashes and what does that do for the area that they're spread in.
Starting point is 00:59:37 Like when you go back to the East Coast and you're in some old creepy fucking, you're like, it's got to be bad. I think haunted shit's only because they buried stuff beneath it. Like we're on native land. It's because they buried on native land. And when they're like, yeah, that area is haunted. I'm always like, well, they're under there. Hmm. You know?
Starting point is 00:59:54 I also saw talk about country relations. I saw this thing this morning on the way to the airport about Finland in the Finland open prison program. These guys get to like come and go as they please.
Starting point is 01:00:07 Yeah, they have cars. It's fucking unreal. They have cars. This guy was working out and then he went to work. He went to a coal plunge. Yeah, you saw that. I saw that.
Starting point is 01:00:15 Yeah, yeah, yeah. This guy. This guy. Yeah. Look at a little. Hey, I murdered somebody. he is in there for murder for murder one yeah and he's like joking on he goes to a garden he's like picking flat it's pretty it's wild yeah i mean the idea of in europe is that you know prison is a place
Starting point is 01:00:30 to rehab rehabilitate yeah it's something that americans do not believe in no no but do you believe in it as a european i think so yes i think it's a i think some people yeah i mean obviously there is they might be some exception we probably have the world's most violent twisted criminals i would imagine the U.S. is number one again at that. I bet we have the most fucked up wild shit. What crime, let's say we're a government. We are kind of
Starting point is 01:00:57 a little government. We're a little government. What crime is too much to do the rehab? How about second degree murder? Second degree. See, look up second degree. No, let's see, I'm a presenter. I'm going to present you a case. Yeah. All right. So, um, I have a client here out. Welcome.
Starting point is 01:01:13 What's the client's name? Alfred Simmons. And he came home from a trip early, went to his house. Yeah. And his wife was having sex with two of his workmates. Where do they work? Costco. Oh, seriously?
Starting point is 01:01:32 Yeah. I love corporate, though. So this man, okay, this man comes home from work. Yeah. He finds his wife in bed with two of his Costco co-worker. Yeah, yeah. And they're going at it. What position are they in?
Starting point is 01:01:41 Oh, every position, my friend. Wow. So he's just sitting and watching. He's cucking. Is he cucking for a little bit? Yeah. Well, his friend. David is upside down. I don't know how they got the ropes tied around his ankles upside down
Starting point is 01:01:52 on just the ceiling, but he's upside down. Wow. He's licking her um. Ertush. Armpet. Oh. Yeah, yeah. Please don't assume sir. Sorry. Okay. And the other one, a little dwarf man, little person, all right? And he's got marshmallows all over his body. He boiled down marshmallows, put it all over his body, right? And he's sort of just like on her chest and just get in the marshmallow juice on her breastuses. Got it. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 01:02:21 Region. Right. It sounds more fun than that. It's pretty fun. It was a fun time. But anyway, this guy, this, Simmons took a machete. Simmons?
Starting point is 01:02:31 What was it? Alfred. Alfred Simmons. Mr. Simmons. Mr. Simmons. Sorry. Yeah, I'm sorry. I call him Simmons.
Starting point is 01:02:37 Yeah. He took a machete. Yeah. And he chopped up the dwarf. Fortunately. But what about the other man? They're fine.
Starting point is 01:02:46 Okay. Yeah. So it was an unintentional second-degree killing. It was non-premeditated. That was second-degree. Yes, because it was a dwarf, right? We couldn't charge them with first-degree, right. You could always get him for half-degree murder.
Starting point is 01:03:00 It's a half-degree murder. We consider that, and it's like a half-degree murder. Half-person, yeah. So anyway. He deserves rehabilitation. You think so? Yeah. Okay, good, good, right.
Starting point is 01:03:10 Yeah. I heard you have a client. But I would say, I would say this. Yeah, yeah. you would need to have him make amends with the family, with the family of the little person that was murdered. So you'd have to get him to go to find that. First of all, you've got to find that treat in there.
Starting point is 01:03:25 Well, we'd have to buy him a plane ticket to get to Middle Earth. Right. Yeah, yeah, and we don't even know how to... That's what I'm saying. We don't even know how to do that. So I heard you had a little client. I do have a client. Yeah, it's a tall...
Starting point is 01:03:35 Barba Duke, Mr. Barbaduke here. Well, based on the name. Alan Barbaduke. Okay. He's a doctor and a lawyer. And a physicist. Oh, wow. He's very well accomplished.
Starting point is 01:03:45 Already then probably Ready for rehabilitation I don't know Okay well That was the case It was pretty egregious He was eating lunch At a Jimmy Johns
Starting point is 01:03:54 And Good sandwich Freaky fast And I'll tell you He was eating lunch And he found a pubic hair In his sandwich Oh
Starting point is 01:04:04 And he turned around And a bunch of the young Teenage Pimple Face boys Braces They were laughing Shit's lit dude What do you think about that Brough
Starting point is 01:04:11 Wow Our pubs are in your fucking mouth bitch Oh so these kids put their own pubic regions inside the sandwich. Well, that is. Three teenage boys. Really uncalled for. Three teenage boys.
Starting point is 01:04:21 Wow. But Barbe Duke, he took this the wrong way because he was having a flashback from the time. What was his first name? What's Barber Duke's first name? Mr. Barbadook. No, what's his first name? You said it doesn't matter. But Mr. Barbaduke had a flashback from his childhood where he was bullied when he was
Starting point is 01:04:41 very young. I see. And many people in the neighborhood would make him eat their pub. Pube the Duke It was a game It was a game It's understandable So Mr. Barber Duke
Starting point is 01:04:48 kind of had a flashback He grabbed What did Mr. Barber Duke do? He grabbed one of the butter He grabbed one of the bread knives And he slowly Cut up each of the teenage boys And he cooked them
Starting point is 01:04:59 And they're still now serving Some of them at Jimmy Johns It's a new flavor You know Chipotle introduces something new Every couple of months Yes Now Jimmy John's introducing teenage boy Okay
Starting point is 01:05:10 And he killed them It's interesting that you would say that Because it's like first of all you would think that once somebody is carving up one teenage boy that the other teenage boys would run. He dismembered all, he took the knife and cut off all their legs. With the butter knife?
Starting point is 01:05:29 With a butter knife. A bread knife. A bread knife. Bread knife. It seems difficult to do. Well, dude, Mr. Barberdook was quite strong. He trained Taekwondo and sword mastery when he was in college. Okay.
Starting point is 01:05:41 I've never seen that done, but anyway. He's very skilled. Yeah. He's well-skilled. What do you can think, guys? Rehab. Rehab, rehab, rehab, rehab, rehab. You think he's good?
Starting point is 01:05:51 Yeah, we're good. Mr. Barber duke, we're fine. Yeah, yeah. Carlos doesn't realize he's Mr. Barberdoole. In prison, can you wake up whenever you want to wake up? No, I think there's a bedtime, there's a wake-up time, there's a yard. But I can't go. I'm going to sleep in.
Starting point is 01:06:05 I'm going to mix breath. You would, you would, the prison would hurt you a lot. Oh, I bet. Because bedtime. I wouldn't be able to walk or anything. And honestly, then you'd have to get up and do shit. No, but I'd need to. I can't go, hey, yo, prison guard.
Starting point is 01:06:16 What's your name? Larry, prison guard. Yeah. Tomorrow? I'm Larry. Hey, Larry. Hey, tomorrow, you know, breakfast and all that stuff, we sleep in. No, wake up. You got to do exercise and clean.
Starting point is 01:06:27 Yeah, but I'll do that after lunch. No, well, we'll just beat you then. What do you mean? We'll just beat you. We'll physically come. I didn't do anything. I just want to sleep in. I tie you.
Starting point is 01:06:36 Too bad. No cameras. Oh, shit. You'll beat me? With what? Huh? What did you beat me with? What do you want to be beat with?
Starting point is 01:06:44 baton. Do you think they would beat me? They would make me get up in the morning, like a military? Abso fucking, that's what they do. You have to work. You got to go to fucking. Can you sleep early?
Starting point is 01:06:52 Like, yeah, I'm going to sleep early. I think so. Do we even go to bed early? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I think you, I don't know. Lights out is 11. Can you Google it? I don't think, do they make you wake up.
Starting point is 01:07:01 I don't think. Of course they do. There's no, I don't think so. Yes, they do. Also, it depends on what level of prison you're in. Yes, you do have to wake up in prison around 6 a.m. Structure daily schedule includes mandatory head counts and work assignments. to do shit. You're forced to do labor.
Starting point is 01:07:16 You're doing late. Oh my God. They get paid. But they would let him do stand up and get out of it. You know what I do. What? Fuck everyone. Yeah. You would get fucked.
Starting point is 01:07:30 Whatever it takes. I want to sleep in. You'd be bottomed. How did it go? How did that Friday go? It was okay. I mean, I love San Francisco. The punch is great. And you were there before and they talked all about you. Bobby was just here. That was a cool week. It was me. Tuesday, Wednesday, then you Thursday, Friday, Saturday, right? And on Friday during the day,
Starting point is 01:07:49 mat in a show's was Doug Benson. How funny is that? No. Yeah, he did 4 p.ms. Wow. He does like 420 shows in certain cities. He'll do. Oh, that's fun.
Starting point is 01:07:57 At 4.20 p.m. Yeah, I think he did Saturday before me, I think. That's a lot of fun. I didn't even get to fucking see him, though, because obviously he's on the road in and out. But, no, dude, that club punch was great. San Francisco's awesome. There is also a perception of San Francisco that comics have sometimes
Starting point is 01:08:12 where they're like San Francisco liberals snooty they were fucking I could I feel the same way I said everything it was rad
Starting point is 01:08:19 it's fun I just think San Francisco is misunderstood as an audience also the homeless seem safer they're not as knifey
Starting point is 01:08:30 yeah they're not as knifey and they're having conversations with themselves which is nice that's I just saw a guy doing that on the way here you ain't got no clarity
Starting point is 01:08:38 within this time frame what do you mean They're like talking to each other. Infinity stones, create the magic. You know what I mean? I'm getting it, man. And they're having conversations with each other.
Starting point is 01:08:53 And so you're just kind of walking by, you can't add. No. You can't go, the mind frame is down below. And they're like, what, you say it? You know what I mean? They'll go down below. Yeah, but you can listen to them. They're not, you know what I mean?
Starting point is 01:09:05 Like snive. Not nice. Shanky. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We need it. That would be funny to put an homeless guy at an improv and sign him up for 101 or whatever over at UCB. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:09:16 Just a homeless schizophrenic guy, and he just kills. He gets on SNL year two. Yeah. That'd be cool. Yeah. Ladies and gentlemen, crazy bones. But there is a lot.
Starting point is 01:09:31 Do you see a lot of homeless there? Yeah. But they're so safe. Well, we live here. Yeah, yeah. I see it fucking here. I love the homeless here. So crazy.
Starting point is 01:09:39 I saw one person in Spain in those two and a half away. Kill them. You kill them. You get rid of them. You guys are, you got, what do you do with the homeless there? Airplane in L.A. I saw a couple of TikToks today about Japanese homeless. You know what I mean? And the typhoons get them. The typhoons. Stop.
Starting point is 01:10:01 They do. That's real? The typhoons fuck them up. Yeah, yeah. Well, they look so cool. No. That's just a cool guy. No, it's like a famous meme because it really is a homeless dude. No, I wanted to start a clothing line called Hobo.
Starting point is 01:10:14 And that was, when I brought to a company, that was the photo. I mean, you look like that. I want to do a line of clothing that look like that. You wear that shit all the time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Balenciaga kind of does that. Yeah. They get it off of that Russian dude.
Starting point is 01:10:26 You know that Russian dude? Mm-mm. Okay, look up Balenciaga and then the Russian streetwear guy. That's right. Have you seen this before? No. You're going to love this. This guy.
Starting point is 01:10:35 This guy right here, right? He goes to thrift stores. and he's influencing fashion fashion trends he's like a homeless guy in fucking Russia
Starting point is 01:10:47 are they paying him no do they want to keep this man homeless just for his art ideas it's a good idea smart yeah yeah don't let him
Starting point is 01:10:55 don't let him in and they steal his fashion ideas by looking at his photos and he knows this look at that's what he normally wears and then look what they did I mean
Starting point is 01:11:06 it's incredible that's fucking dark what? Who's who? Who's who? The guy on the right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go back to some of these other ones.
Starting point is 01:11:15 I mean, dude, dope. No? Yeah, he's got cool style. Yeah, good style. Yeah, he's cool. Obviously, he was an artist of some kind. I don't know. Harper, yeah, Bizarre.
Starting point is 01:11:33 Ukrainian magazine. Wow. It's incredible. It's crazy. They're just stealing from them. Oh, let me tell you something that happened Yeah Oh my God, you just
Starting point is 01:11:42 Piss me off, dude Yeah So I Flying to San Francisco Do you have a driver? No How do you get to the hotel? Just Uber
Starting point is 01:11:53 Okay, well I have a driver I know you do Okay, yeah, he tells me Yeah You get the driver for me I get the driver for you It's not in his deal Yeah
Starting point is 01:12:01 You pay for my driver I pay for your everything Okay, so anyway No, he pays for his own fucking Yeah, of course Yeah. She was this guy, you know, I land. There's a guy who has a signed Lee.
Starting point is 01:12:14 I go, hey, it's me. He's like, what's your first name? I go, Bobby. He's like, okay. I'm not lying. It gets worse. Then we actually were walking, smoking to the car. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:12:30 He goes, uh, what hotel are you staying at? He doesn't know. Isn't it in the fucking thing? That's why I ask him. Go, don't you know what? hotel I'm staying at? Because I do. Do you? I go, I don't know. It's in some of my, I have to go to my emails and check it out. Just getting kidnapped by a fan? No, just check out. He goes, no, I can't put you in my car unless I know what hotel are staying at. Seriously? Yeah. And I go, well, what?
Starting point is 01:12:55 You already, I already gave you my name, right? He's like, it's rules, man. I've never heard this in my life. Yeah. And now I'm going through my emails. Then I finally go, the hotel. He's I was like, okay. Wow. And I still give him a big tip. I knew you. I was just going to say, I bet you gave him 100 bucks. But I did, I threw it out of him almost.
Starting point is 01:13:19 You know what I mean? I go, here you go, man. I whipped it at him. Yeah, fuck him. Right? I just got out, didn't say goodbye or anything. It pissed me off. Yeah, that's fucking weird, dude.
Starting point is 01:13:28 Do you know why? He doesn't think that I am anything. How many Lee's haves he seen, you know? It's San Francisco. I also said Bobby. You know what I mean? That's a rare. Lee. That's a less
Starting point is 01:13:41 commonly. Yeah. It's also like, you know, I don't know, did I read it wrong? No, that's fucking weird though that he did. I don't know why he... Has that ever happened to you? I'd take Ubers. You've never gotten a car. It's the same amount of money. No, I have, but they've never... No, I have...
Starting point is 01:13:57 It's not the same amount. I have... What do you mean? It's more expensive for sure. Yeah. It's a way more expensive. No, but I have taken... I'll do Uber's from now on. Is that what you're saying? No. No, it's you're paying for. You deserve it. I don't deserve anything. I just like, It's easier. I like the torture of a foreigner
Starting point is 01:14:11 who's speaking on the phone. I like that. I like to go to a new city and hear their foreign, their foreign local, you know? Yeah. Bahana,
Starting point is 01:14:20 maneshima, Redhead. That's, I would like, I want to hear that. Yeah. No, but I, I've had that before.
Starting point is 01:14:29 I've had it before where I'm like, oh, that's me. And because I use an alias, I don't use my name. I'm like, that's me. And then they have to like check to,
Starting point is 01:14:39 to make sure, because it's not, you know what I mean? Yeah. Because it's not my name. I see. Because it's weird that they hold your fucking name.
Starting point is 01:14:45 That's the weirdest thing. That's why I put mine when we go on the road. Yeah, that's smart. But you're so fucking famous, Bobby Lee, the name is famous. Oh,
Starting point is 01:14:53 this guy had no idea. He knows who you are. No. Maybe he was fucking with you. He wasn't. Dude. How old was he? He was like Brazilian,
Starting point is 01:15:02 so he had a thick accent. Oh. You know what I mean? But, I almost, I almost gave him a bad review. you, but I didn't do it. No, no, you can't do that.
Starting point is 01:15:11 Why, why can't you? You can't, it's not, let him suffer. You're living a great life. Fuck him. You're right, you're right. Was it worse than our mean Uber driver in Detroit? What do you remind me? Remember, we were three packed in the back of the car.
Starting point is 01:15:22 Yeah, he was being so rude to us. And you were asking, if you could turn the AC on and he just wasn't listening, kept turning his music. Was that the one where we were laughing really loud? There was one Uber I was in with you. That was with me. Well, no, that was in London? London. Oh, that was so funny.
Starting point is 01:15:37 On the way to the show with Chappelle. Yeah, yeah, that was so funny Yeah, yeah And you asked what this building was And he was like And he goes Ab-Dub-Dub-D-D And we
Starting point is 01:15:48 And that's all he did He turned back around And there was Dead silence at first And then all of a sudden We just lost I died, I died lap Although we also
Starting point is 01:15:56 We also validate him We were like Oh, cool Oh, you were in the car Yeah, yeah Yeah Pretended to be on the phone afterward
Starting point is 01:16:01 Yeah What? You pretended to be on the phone After you're like, What? Okay That was so fun But then you guys were like
Starting point is 01:16:07 We're gonna bomb tonight Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, we could feel it. Something was in the air that night. As soon as we passed fucking Abbey Road, I was like, we're dead, we're dumb, legends, and then we're fucking penis jokes. Thank you for being a bad friend. Okay, only 10 more presents to wrap. You're almost at the finish line.
Starting point is 01:16:51 But first? There, the last one. Enjoy a Coca-Cola for a pause that refreshes.

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