Bad Friends - Bobby's Replacement

Episode Date: October 10, 2022

*NEW MERCH IS BACK* https://badfriendsmerch.com Thank you to our Sponsors: http://shipstation.com code: BADFRIENDS & https://betterhelp.com/badfriends & https://www.doordash.com code: BADFRIENDS2022 Sign up here for the 7EQUIS Podcast Course: https://www.7equis.net 0:00 New Merch is Back! 1:01 Welcome Our New Host 2:27 Fancy Wants To Replace Rudy Too 6:43 Does Rudy Have Monkey Pox? 20:12 Julio Goes to Town on Khalyla's Underwear  26:50 Will Smith is Back & The Evils of Hocus Pocus 2 31:20 The Secrets of Disney 38:18 Magellan Died at the Hands of an LLP 44:49 Men and Women Can't be Friends 52:32 Sneaks and Ladders 56:26 Join Fancy's Podcasting Course 58:29 Bobby Forces Fancy to Eat Balut More Khalyla Kuhn Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/khalamityk Twitter: https://twitter.com/khalamityk More Bobby Lee TigerBelly: https://www.youtube.com/tigerbelly Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bobbyleelive Twitter: https://twitter.com/bobbyleelive Tickets: https://bobbyleelive.com More Andrew Santino Whiskey Ginger:  https://www.youtube.com/andrewsantinowhiskeyginger   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino Twitter: https://Twitter.com/cheetosantino  Tickets: http://www.andrewsantino.com More Rudy Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/badfriendrudy More Bad Friends iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-friends/id1496265971 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/badfriendspod/   Twitter: https://twitter.com/badfriends_pod   Official Website: http://badfriendspod.com/ Opening Credits and Branding: https://www.instagram.com/joseph_faria & https://www.instagram.com/jenna_sunday Credit Sequence Music: http://bit.ly/RocomMusic // https://www.instagram.com/rocom  Character Design: https://www.instagram.com/jeffreymyles Bad Friends Mosaic Sign: https://www.instagram.com/tedmunzmosaicart Produced by: George Kimmel & Bryce Hallock - 7EQUIS Podcast Producers: Andrés Rosende & Pete Forthun https://www.7equis.net This video contains paid promotion. #bobbylee #andrewsantino #badfriends Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey bad friends, I am going to be playing New Year's Eve and New Year's Eve Eve shows in Boston, Massachusetts December 30th and 31st go to Andrew Santino comm. I'm gonna be playing the Wilba theater. I'm so excited to be in Boston you guys I'm so happy to be playing New Year's Eve and New Year's Eve Eve on the 30th and 31st in Boston So go to Andrew Santino com for tickets Andrew Santino com for tickets also look at this We restocked bad friend shirts look at this some of the highest demand bad friend shirts That's me and Bobby talking closely and then this is also the bad friends mug faces you guys loved them We ran out of them. So now we restocked them So they should be on the merch bar down below or it's in the link

The bio will be in the link to go get those bad friends shirts So pick them up and come see me this New Year's Eve and Eve Eve in Boston, Massachusetts Andrew Santino comm Welcome back to splitting up together three of the best castmates on earth once again. It is the return of the Moll woman. Oh wait. Yeah, let it play out Pete. That's the way to do it. What is that? Hey girl is that is that a new girl? I mean new girl. Welcome back to Everyone's favorite podcast splitting up together featuring Rudy Jules and the one and only Kaleila coo Sitting in the hot seat today is Kaleila coo You know, my last name is not that's not how you say it. Kaleila coo

Is it really Kaleila coo, how do you say your last name Kaleila coo So much better that way, isn't it? No, ah Rudy Rudy wasn't here on time. We were here 15 minutes ago. Rudy forgot that it was bad friends day She's gonna blame fancy B. Is that true? Yeah, cuz I thought he said Thursday Your test your text. Yeah. No, I think the original way you said it. Check your test Check your test, please Please check your test and then he texted me again yesterday, and I thought he changed it to 8 p.m. Thursday

Yeah, it's Wednesday 8 p.m. Wednesday, you know what I found a better a better you in the Philippines Oh, yeah, it's like, you know, it looked like you but she's way cooler. Looks like you it talks like you it walks like you What do you mean? Is this a woman that you fall in love with so you're leaving your wife or a woman you met in the Philippines? I know who it is It's her little sister. Oh, is that your little sister? Oh Rudy and is she doing the eat pussy thing? Yeah, I don't think that's okay How old is she? 14. Yeah, let's not that's not okay for her to zoom in on that. She looks just like you. That's so wild you guys have the same

What is it the thing you know that people can point out if it's the eyes of the mouth of the nose? It's kind of nose mouth It's right here. It's just a little nose mouth. This little part right here is the most alike. Do the do the pussy eat thing with your look at me Yeah, that's your little sister He's in a pod. She's 14 years old so fancy. Yeah, she's smarter than than Jules Is she really? Yeah, she's like a genius. Is she really taught herself Japanese over the pandemic She's like fluent in Japanese now. She's just she's one of those girls that is just so switched on She talks about her gay awakening in like a really just like like matter of fact. She gay all the way She's she they

She's what she hasn't determined her pronouns yet, but she says that she is she's talked about her gay awakening Wow, pull this closer. I can't hear you that one. Sorry. Um hang on my Rudy today. You are. Yeah, get closer to the mic God man, you brown people. It's hard to control Wait, so she has a gay awakening. She doesn't know if she's a she she's not a she doesn't know her pronouns That's what it is. Yeah, I don't she hasn't figured that out. Yeah, what are your pronouns? She her what are yours? Yeah Everybody sees me goes

Yeah Uh The big cheese the big cheeto. I don't I'm a call to I'm a call to him I'm a call to him But I refuse to like when people put it in their emails or any of that stuff that drives me nuts You have to do that in college. I know because you're in a liberal Bullshit college College is making people do stuff like that now, right? Yeah, you got to say do you when you introduce yourself to the class

You have to say your pronouns and even on zoom You have to put it on your name. Yeah, the on a cue and she but if you don't put it it, what is who cares? No, but it's just they say it like when the teacher says if you want just put it. It's better Oh, so it's just a suggestion. It's not a requirement. Yeah, that's true I mean the the world is look there's a woman running for orange county congress names just to bring up a picture of michelle steele I don't know if you know this woman the one thing she hates the most. What do you think it is that michelle steele the korean Um immigrant running for orange county congress. What do you think michelle steele hates the most? Let me thank give you both one guess

Oh koreans. Oh, no, she loves koreans. What do you think she hates? She hates philippino china. She hates china. Oh, yeah, she did a whole commercial on how much she doesn't like china It's she's like we must stop china I always thought I wanted a chinese husband. Did you really? Yeah, because like for the moon My god shoot for the moon A chinese husband. Why? Um, because I have a lot of like korean friends that are female. Yeah, and um the hush hush

Watch this. Oh fuck did nobody tell you nobody told you you have lipstick on your teeth I couldn't see you bitch jules. Even if you saw it, you wouldn't tell me dude. That's the most fucked up shit You know, you would you know, you saw lipstick on her teeth and you didn't see you're a liar You're a bad girl. Also jules like knowing that i'm single and I need the extra help. You're not gonna tell me I will tell you if there's Boogers or anything. What was there? What was just going on there? You made the decision to not tell her? I didn't see and she was already talking. So I just you're a little fucking scumbag pal. Just because you're in a relationship She's single let her fucking catch and you're out there locked up

So you want you don't want other people to prosper. Is that what it is? No, but I thought I had monkey pox She really did think she had it from your boyfriend. Yeah Yeah, I was getting so much bumps red bumps over my body And I told attical Isla sister and she said go to urgent care now Yeah Well, if I had the bumps didn't look like pus chiller pus chiller That's the word pus chiller pus chiller. Oh, it didn't look like pussy I would have probably just say said like hey like look at the dogs. They're all itching probably fleece

Right. You probably just had fleas. Pustular is a word by the way. Is it this type of uh Psoriasis caused reddish scaly pus field bumps. So you have psoriasis? They were not pus chiller. Oh Give me nope. Give me non-pustular red bumps Let's see what you could have had because google's gonna be better than whatever doctors have to say What the fuck do they know? Uh-oh 25 causes so we could be any acne was it no cold sword was a herpes. Herpes. Oh

That is a new boyfriend. It wasn't on my lips Corns and calluses No skin tags. No, which is that's Andres's nickname A nodule. No By the way, go back up. How do you even explain a fucking nodule? If someone's like, what is it? You're like, it looks it's like I burn myself with a lighter and you're like, well How did you get it? It's like I have absolutely no fucking idea. It's if that appears on your skin. Don't you think you're dying? Yeah, I'm thinking I'm dying if I have a little it looks like there's a mole underneath my skin

I think I'm dying. It it just looks like a blister Yeah, but it looks like a burn blister, but if it appeared without any sort of burning wouldn't you panic If that's lumped here's the deal the proximity of a weird skin thing to your genitalia means everything If it's on your arm, don't care. Have you never had an ingrown like a giant ingrown close to your dick? No Oh god, so girls get it all the time because we have to wax and shave and it's just the Worst, so do you have a panic moment as soon as you look down and you see that you think okay? Well, now I've got now. I've got the herbs. Yes all the time. I think that I've never had an ingrown hair

Near the only thing I talked about this today with my buddy Corey. I had one std in college. I had malescom Do you know what that is? Look it up. It's like a skin rash, but I had full-on panic attack Do a image of it sexually transmitted. It's a skin malescom Uh skin rash. It's like that. He's exactly right. This is what you had on your arm You little you little dirty bitch This was on my pelvis so like I said the proximity of this to your penis. Look at what that looks like What do you think that is? It looks a little like syphilitic. Oh, no, that actually looks kind of more like herpes. Herpes

That's exactly right. So it was on just my pelvis wasn't on my wasn't on my papito It wasn't on my papito. It was just on the it was on the runway and I gotta tell you Fucking I spiraled for like three days and I was balling. I was crying and I was like I and the girl that I had had sex with I had used a condom used protection and I thought How could this happen? I used a condom and it was on my pelvis and I thought Uh what if it starts to move its way down to my wiener? Is it an actual sexually transmitted disease or it's just a skin The skin thing. So my doctor said after I finally got the I was scared to go in because I was scared to hear the truth So I finally went in and he was like what that's

He gave me like a cream and a pill and it was gone and like I'm not kidding like the same day and he was like It's a it's a skin rash. It's kind of like, you know, like jock itch and all that stuff and like Athletes foot and all these things he's like it's a skin fungus, but it's typically transmitted Sexually because it gets around this area a lot. You know what's so fucked up This is so mean to say but she looked like someone that would give me meliscombe If you never even knew what it was if someone goes that girl gives antino meliscombe you'd go. Oh, yeah Can I guess what she looked like? Go please go for it. Did she look like a smashly dark hair? I think her name was Ashley

I swear to god I swear to god of my life. She has the dimples on her lower back. You better believe it Does she have a tattoo in between them? Yeah, you better believe it That's the thing that her generation will never have to experience is like tramp stamps and all that They're coming back though. Are they? Oh, yeah 100 girls are getting tramp stamps again Wow, because what because you got the the thing you've stolen from our generation You guys are wearing really really baggy jeans That's our that was that was our childhood

Really baggy jeans and also you're stealing brands from our generation, which is fucking insane to me like Stoosey's the biggest it's ever been It's huge. Stoosey's huge dude, and do you know what this is? No. Yeah, it's back now young people like it You never seen this when I was a kid. It was dope It's now it's cool. It's like cool again It's just so funny. You guys are stealing all of our shit. Well, I hope you steal all of our dumb shit, too Like lower back tattoos. I hope you guys get a little bit of that sauce. It's it's trending You better not get a fucking lower back tattoo

Don't do it jules also though They steal some elements of it like the low-rise jeans are back, but they don't know how low we went Our zippers were the short tiny little zips in the late 90s. Should I can I say that on the show? A little tiny little zips. We're both asian we accept tiny little zippers But we did you had low rise your and they were the cool thing was back back in the day to have your pants so low That women would sometimes wear like men boxers or like Boxer brief underwear and then they would rise above them and you could see both of them. That shit was hot on tiktok They have this song thing. That's a whale tail. That's my tail. That's a whale tail. That's her. Yeah, that's thievery

Yeah, you guys are stealing. You know what the fucked up thing is about fashion You'll see some shit And immediately I'm like, yeah, this is just someone took a took a shot You just have to take a shot and look weird. You saw the tape girls Didn't you see the the tape girls do the black tape girls runway models wearing only black tape. This is a this guy Fucking has tricked the world This is insane. He went to I don't even know it was like yeah, it was miami These women are literally wearing electrical tape

Over their entire fucking body and this like blew up in this scene people are upset. I know this girl by the way I I personally know this person. She's worked with a friend of ours Uh, she's a model out here in LA and she went down there to do this campaign. She's so hot. Her name's zeda Yeah, this would leave me a interesting trail of eczema. Look at that Contact dermatitis big time. You want it. You'd want to talk about ingrown hairs. Yeah But here's the thing zoom in a little bit. How do you get that off your titties? That doesn't hurt your nipples when you're ripping tape off your tits girls are used to suffering though for the sake of fashion That is something that we just kind of

Have done our whole lives because a thong is not comfortable and also the beastie easties you get Anytime I see a girl with with a thong on i'm like, oh, she's rolling the dice Yeah, you know a beastie sees right around the corner just rumbling down there Oh my god, and like it doesn't catch the discharge. So, you know, it's just oozing from the side Drip drop we should invent something to catch it though like okay I'm okay with the thong part being really thin, but it's got to have a bigger pussy catcher or the juice catcher Yeah, a pjc a pussy juice catcher Just a little cup

Well, you know like the I learned about the um, I learned about the uh menstrual cups menstrual cups Wow, I learned about this This is I copying I thought was something completely different No, michael phelps gets the cup. Okay. Okay. That's an olympic thing. Have you ever cupped? Have you ever done a menstrual cup? Oh, I've done both I did old school cupping. Yeah, I've done cupping on the bed. Yeah. Um, and then Jules tried to teach me how to use a menstrual cup. You be cupping Wow

And I couldn't figure out how to get it out So I was in the cold hard floor of my bathroom having to like birth it out You had to why because it was so it was just so attached. I had to push it out like it was a baby I something happened and I'm totally scarred by it But all these girls they just do it so efficiently and I I'm just not wanting so you only be cupping Wow, it's so much better for you tampons. They're like toxic I know I read this whole thing about tampons with the amount of bleach that's in there It's like really bad for you. Anyway, and then the women that get if it, you know, if they stay in too long you get, uh

Come on, what's it? No, no, no if a toxic shock toxic shock syndrome and you can die from it Which I heard years ago when I was a kid to I think like my mom to my sister or something That it was like you can't do that all night. You can't leave a tampon in all night And then as I've got older, then you read all this other stuff that they're like it's dyed cotton It's it's so it's like bleach cotton sitting inside of your body all day So I get the cup dog. You be cupping. It's so much easier, but you have to like force Just

Yeah, does it make a suck noise? Yeah, then you have to pull it to make it tight so it won't go out. Right. Yeah Yeah, I've just opted to free bleed You be free-blading if I'm home and I have nowhere to be I I free bleed tight and the dogs love it. I know That's too much. Wait a minute. We're there already because the dogs can smell it and they love it God, I really want to show you a really bad video of my dog just going ham on my Show me free bleed panty. So wait a minute. They eat the panties

They like living it. Oh, no Show me the video. You know what's interesting about my dog is Uh, she's a little she's a girl and when I come home, she always sniffs She always goes to my crotch. She wants to be up on my leg up on my legs to bury her head in my crotch Never does that to my wife ever never does that to her She always wants to be down by her legs, but when I come home She puts her head by my crotch and even when she's done sniffing she'll turn her ear to it like she's listening Like a little cock shell a cock shell. Yeah, if you

You can hear all the pussy. I'm not getting in the cock shell Far far away She will though she'll put her head right and she'll rest her head underneath my balls And it's so funny because when she sleeps when she jumps in the bed with us Oh, this is what I do want to know when she sleeps in the bed with us I think When she's on her period the dog will come to my side of the bed. Your dog doesn't like your wife's panties. No No does not in fact in fact by the way

We learn you know how everybody's doggie does like panties or socks or underwear or the dogs always have like a thing Some dogs tradition have shoes and all that stuff. None of these things except for dirty shorts Dirty my running shorts if I leave them in the other room Yeah Loves because I think it's ass asshole and ball sweat and she really likes asshole and ball sweat She's just a pervert Can't talk to you for a second

Don't fucking talk about my dog that way pal. No, but she is she likes asshole and ball sweat I think that that she likes that smell that like maybe she wants Your dick Clip it clip it for the internet She But it is funny. She does not she's not a panty dog both of your dogs are panty dogs All of the dog, but it's not just my panty. It's everyone's panty Like I've had people over and have lost three or four underwear

What Julio Julio is a big culprit, but they take turns so like usually Julio will go first And when he's done then goby will kind of tag him You know tag herself in here. I'm sending it to you fancy Wow the video It's amazing. I'm I'm I'm so Yeah So funny After all after how many years two years I told her to pull the mic closer you both of the Filipinos in this fucking room

By the way, thanks for the invite to the Philippines fancy Well, it was such a wonderful trip. You you missed like, you know, he he was array of sunshine It is so funny because we texted we texted while he was there because we were trying to organize all this shit and uh I can tell fancy got a little dose a little dose of what it's like There was one point where I was just so proud of fancy For sticking it to bobby and saying, you know what? You're gonna need more discipline than this

Did you go for it? Huh? You told him what the fuck is up? Yeah, he said he was gonna stretch me You want me to stretch you out What an idiot by the way, he's such a fucking liar the guy told me we were texting for a second of a second And he said, uh, he has food poisoning. Did he tell you this lie? Did he get food poisoning there? Fucking liar. I knew he didn't get fucking food, but no, you know I I saw emodium at home. So I think it's true. It was just had bubble guts not food poisoning Um, because you know food poisoning lasts food poisoning lasts He said that on the plane he had to get up every two minutes, but

You know, um, he does have a very sensitive stomach A little softy tummy. Yeah. Am I crazy or is this an exceptionally hard to open? Let a man do it I just realized that bobby is like a writer who doesn't like to write, you know, he A write a writer who doesn't like to write. Yeah, it's like he hates the process of making fans Yeah, but he likes to have them made. Yes. All right. Let's let's check out this video Oh My god, so that was a pair of panties with blood on them and you just workout sweat workouts. Oh my god rolling in it Rolling in it

That's insane wait for it. Oh my god Look, he's like seizing Oh, oh pushing oh pushing. Oh my god, but you know like every man look what he does at the end When he's done when he's gotten what he needs when he comes Look what he gets when he needs after he's had everything he's ever gotten He's toiled around He's ripping it apart a little bit. Oh, yeah, I have so many holes on all my underwear But I just can't you know, they like it. So why would I this is like a post workout on oh when he's done

He just shakes it off. I gotta get out of here. And then the second one comes in right after it's tag team Tag team back. It's like that one's a good one That's insane. They like it so much. I know that's so crazy. Is this super common and I just don't know Oh, look, he's taking it. She's a little bit more delicate about it. She just likes to chew That's the cuddle Just a lover. See that's a lover Yeah, I just went on your little dirty panties I imagine that's when they if they asked you they're like, can I nibble on your dirty panties?

And your other dog is like, give me the fucking panties Give it to me now You should sell your fucking panties to dog owners. You know how much money you would make doing that? That's your new only fans only dogs Only dogs with kalilah You sell your used panties I mean, can you imagine the amount of money these people that are selling their used shit online? I saw a girl that sells just her fucking dirty socks. Nothing else. No nudity. No, none of that shit. She's making 20 grand a month

Does she have 20 grand a month name because that girl the fart girl the fart in a jar girl She was already on 90 day fiance. No. Yeah, she was famous This girl is a right this girl had been established as something else on the internet before I see but even still Who the fuck is buying you socks? What are you doing with them? Oh, well never mind For a second I was like, what am I talking about? I wonder what they look for like is an ascent because I don't I've never had smelly feet in my life Never never

Okay, you work out all day long at the end of a long day I my feet have never and my feet sweat a lot. They have never smelled. What ever. Do you have smelly feet? Only when I wear my socks for a week Oh, well that makes perfect fucking sense. Yeah, you wear the same pair of socks for one whole week Do you need some money? Wait, why would you do that? You don't want to change it doesn't I don't want to do laundry Ship station. Hey you guys The best time to prepare for growth uh is before the opportunity arrives, especially for online businesses

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Uh, I do believe that your brain Uh, can stay in problem solving mode when faced with a challenge in life It's tough to like train it to do that But when you learn to find your own solutions, there's no better feeling And a therapist can help you become a better problem solver making it easier to accomplish your goals No matter how big or small they are talking to someone helps I don't care what level you're at of finding out about yourself But I got to tell you speaking with someone definitely helps clear your mind

And help you move forward in life to get through stuff or just to keep the train moving along If you're thinking about giving therapy to try better help is a great option It's convenient accessible affordable and it's entirely done on the internet wherever you are You can do it You can get matched with a therapist after filling out a brief survey and switch to therapist anytime you want When you want to be a better problem solver therapy can get you there. Visit betterhelp.com slash bad friends today get 10% off your first month That's better hlp.com slash bad friends Can I tell you something?

Just buy more socks. This is new. This is new. Those are new socks? Yeah Dude, I like new socks so much when I'm traveling and on tour I will bring three pairs of socks for one day One for the plane One for like when I go to work out and then one for when I go to the show I have to change socks. You don't like the feeling of new socks. I don't really care Okay, but when you take them off to have a long day, they don't they're not like yucky and no Huh smells your feet right now. This is new

Yeah, but just smell your raw foot. What are we talking? Nothing. Nothing Maybe maybe Filipino's feet don't stink. Yeah, I don't think so white people's feet stink Yeah, Bobby's feet stink really bad. Yeah, he's got that kind of white guy in him a little bit That's a San Diego highway feet. That's how it is. Whose feet do you think stink the most out of the crew? Out of you guys, who do you think for real out of the whole crew? I can it's George. See I my instinct is George, but I but I got to tell you something Something says Carlos might have some stanky ass feet. Oh Interesting. I should know this. I mean I am his lover after all. Well, you guys. Yeah

I was just gonna say this trist that's been going on between you guys is just Look, I approve just because you know, everybody loves a good mixed baby. So at least he's not a normal Maybe mexapeno Mexapeno. Yeah, because he's not or Philly Max Cuter Philly Max you got to name him Philly Max You know it took this long to realize that Will and Jada named their kids Jaden and Willow

After them the internet just did a whole thing on it And I literally do the same thing you just did. I was like, I guess I never heard about that He's making a comeback by the way, do you see Will Smith is do you see what he's doing? Do you see the movie he's doing? Holy shit, is this a way for him to come back and not have anything be said about him at all Things called emancipation all is forgiven I don't give a fuck if you hit Chris Rock. I gotta tell you that's amazing I'd love to be a part of something like this, but I just know

That they're just gonna cast me as that guy You know what I mean? They say I want to be a part of the movie. I'm gonna be the crazy racist white guy It's like you not belong here boy right there. My grandma was a redhead Was she really? Son of a bitch You got any red blood in you, baby? Yeah, I know I can tell that's straight jungle out there There's no ginger

Um Show the video to Kalilah. I want to show I want her to see this. This is this is very funny So so let me give us some preface to this. This was a local news station. You know local news is always great fodder You know what I mean? It's always good fodder um Not local hero. This is texas. Sorry, but uh It's halloween time almost and boy. Oh boy You know the goblins and ghouls are out

And this lady is both of those things Go ahead A worst-case scenario is that you unleash hell On your kids and in your home. Jamie Gooch is a mother of three and the owner of Gooch family farm, Detroit I Love everything to do with house and home. I believe everything starts here It grieves me the thought of exposing our kids to darkness The whole movie is based on which is harvesting children for blood sacrifices and the reason

Pocus Classic these people vote these people live and You've got to give I hope the big stone comes soon. You've got to give her a break. Oh, it must not be a cat cat Is that what you're talking about? It can't have been easy growing up with a last name Gooch Yeah, that's true

fucking Gooch Goochy-cooch. There's something that I realized this woman is evil by the way for sure and you I can tell you um Clear cut sign is that she rarely blinks. Yes when people when people don't blink. I'm like How how like what what demonic force is allowing your eyes to stay open when the wind is blowing Go back and let's just go from the beginning turn off the volume. Let's just see how many times if she blinks She's a redhead. No, she's not This right here holding tight

Pause it on the fam Love gotta love the Goochies How Gooch to the left is going to be a cutie. I think yeah, but Aaron Carter type. Yes. Yeah, he might but I gotta tell you something Daddy Gooch This is what happened. Look take this the wrong way if you want to America. This is what happens when You stay at home And you got nothing going on

And you're focusing too much on stuff that doesn't mean anything because no offense I don't think she does anything all day. She may have a job. I highly fucking doubt it Because she said the house and home is her only focus And you got to know she spent too much time and after the house is cleaned and the kids are fed and they're off to school And Papa Gooch is off selling and fucking insurance He's slinging that fucking life insurance She's at home. She's cooked everything. She's cleaned everything. She's sad the wine is gone And now she's focusing on what's infiltrating house and home

Hocus Pocus too The evils of disney plus Good for her dude. You know these people also hated Moana because you know while we know That tracks I look I don't think princesses. I think princesses can be brown. I'm just saying I don't think they are brown That's what I mean. What I meant was like the same argument about fucking little mermaid being black I'm the biggest little mermaid fan like I know not just all the songs I know every word from beginning to end. Do you really I can recite the whole thing. I've got who's it's and what's it's galore

Thing about bobs. I got 20 20 What a good movie by the way also a red head Right also a red head and by the way keep her red That's why I'm against the black mermaid keep her red. She does have red hair keep her white and red So stupid we should be more concerned with them drawing penises in the castles that they used to do remember that in the priest getting a boner Yeah, do you know about this? Do the penis castle for the little mermaid cover. This is like one of the most classic things on planet earth

The original animators drew a penis In the original artwork of the castle. Look at that cock, right? They do like subliminal stuff, right? Yeah the sex The priest gets a boner. Do the priest gets a boner show that image in the middle of them getting married on the boat The priest is fucking rock hard because a little boy. I think walks by in front of a moments before So there they are getting married on the boat, right? They're trying to stall the wedding, right? Who is the sun's going down? Before the sun sets on the third day, that's right There it was and look at the priest's legs when you look here you see it

It's very subtle Hold on let it play out because I bet they'll show there it is. Oh my god, you're right That's disgusting. Why would they make him have a boner, but I get it. She does look hot there Well priests are horny. Yeah, they don't get the fuck these guys don't get the fuck unless it's somebody's kids Bad people priests not all of them just almost all of them They had a campaign not all priests that just did not do well What do you think about Kanye's white lives matter shirt Jules? What do you think? Did you see it? I saw some a bit of clip on tiktok because you're anti whites. We've talked about it on the show

You know this, right? She hates whites and we love that that we are pro your hate for whites And what do you feel about this now? Do you hate Kanye? I think Yeah, yeah, you do. I think I really liked what Charlemagne said about it. It was soup. It was sure what Charlemagne said was actually extremely Like it was extremely well said it was like everything. He said I was like, mm-hmm. That's a good point. Mm-hmm That's a good point. Mm-hmm that like everything he said beat by beat was really really good Because I think that you know, he cycles in and out of his seasons Kanye does but there's You know several times like some seasons. He really does seek white validation 100% he that's why he plays this game

That's Candace fucking Owens. You know who that is, right? She's a she's a republican political pundit But what I find interesting is that you know how he made a big Fuss about Adidas and all of these brands allegedly sort of like Stealing his work. Yeah, but there is a small Um design her who apparently he stole all of like the creative stuff from who's not getting a lot of the credit Didn't they sue him too or went away? I mean something happened where like he got into a Or he or he or they um settled out of court or something like that for stealing some of the designs. Here's the biggest problem Think about the little Asian kid that made that shirt. That's what I'm more concerned about these white lives matter shirt

They're being made by little tiny Jules little Rudy's your little sister your little Your little mouth v sister. What's her name? Issa, right? It's really sad is that Jules is just now getting into older Kanye albums. Oh, it's so good Yes, it is so good It almost makes up for all this kind of con this stuff. It's just like when you see white lives matter I go, what are you doing? This guy's an idiot. Then you you know, you go back and listen to college dropout And you're like you better believe it's fucking it's worth all that stuff

College or what album do you like the most? Um I think college dropout. Yeah, it's so fucking good. There's a serial killer in Stockton Right now. Yeah, are you serious? I didn't think the serial killers were a thing anymore Stockton serial killer everything we know and don't know so far. How many people is a guy killed? Six? Whoa, six is a lot

Who was killed 35 year old paul xander yaw 43 year old salvatore william at least he's being diverse and has murdered 21 year old jonathan hernandez rodriguez Oh, there is a theme. Yeah, there is Juan Cruz and her Lorenzo Lopez and god bless the dead and god rest the dead. Sorry about that. That's disgusting so this guy The 46 year old black woman is the only known survivor of the shooting. Oh shooting people That's not a serial killer. That's insane. Yeah, I feel like that's not a very clever way to yeah a gun is a cop out

by the way, do you see all the fucking heat that that uh Uh, whatchamacallit's getting from the lgbtq community. Um, dommer Why they're pissed because it was in netflix's subcategory as lgbtq. Oh, yeah, and they got fucking livid about it Not crime and they were like, why are you sexualizing this guy homophobic hypocrisy and differing reactions to Yeah, netflix, uh, resurrects dommer triggering criticism. By the way, have you guys seen it? I haven't yet. It's It's fucking awesome. It's This kid Evan Peters Give whatever he want. Give him all of it. What he was Manson

Right, he did Manson. Wait, did he do Manson and um, American Horror Story Right, isn't that what he did it? Yeah, I'm almost positive. This guy's fucking great. Dude. He's awesome. Yeah, I love him And look at how ambiguous he looks. He looks like he could be everybody and nobody I think he looks like a little bit like, uh, Jesse, uh Eisenberg a little bit there. There. He looks like a guy I played high school basketball with And the bottom one he looks like the guy and there he looks like a sexy sexy Serial because they did buff him up too when he takes his shirt off. Do Evan Peters shirtless dommer But dommer was not buff. I thought he was kind of scrawny No, he was actually kind of a good-sized guy because that's why he was able to hold down all these other victims

Oh, look at him up there. Yeah. No, that's not it. That's not it. That's not it. Go to one of the frames up top from dommer Look at that. Hey. Oh, Rudy See he's hot. Yeah, yeah Yeah, this other guy on the left is a guy that was jogging. That's not him. That's not him There you go. There he is Yeah, you know what I mean? Hate to say it, but young Do you hate to say it though? I'd let him kill me Stop it. That's awful. I mean, we're more his type than you because I think he liked um southeast asians

That's not your black men mostly black men. Oh, but definitely like um, but I guess you're closer to a black man than me Yeah, of course. You kind of look like a black guy Well, no, my mom like if Filipinos, right like the in the mountainous region before Spanish colonization Would we call them before his people don't shake your fucking head at what your people did you scumbag before education before Whoa, this guy's a bad person turns out Before we enslaved your people and gave you books. Is that what you tried to say you pig? I was so proud to tell him when we got to the Philippines. I'm like, do you know that this is where Magellan died

Oh, where the oh, you got where he was slaughtered. Yeah scumbag. How did they kill him? I hope they killed him slow Oh, it was like this. So I'll tell you exactly how they killed Magellan So it was actually in the water. So the Spanish fleet would come in And they would try to you know, walk on very shallow water to get to the land And so these men would hold their breaths underwater And when the men would try to walk on the water, they would like emerge from the water and just So dope. That's

So fucking dope. Magellan You got gas By a little breath holding Filipino little like Lapa Lapa was like four foot five. I got your Magellan He had to jump up grab him and then throw this throw, right? Yeah, can you imagine he's like Trying to get this little mid fucking little tidy Filipino off his back What does a Filipino little person look like that's got to be almost non-existent Like an LP Filipino. Um, no, we have a lot an LPP. Yeah, it's just you down with LPP Yeah, you know me. Um, yeah, just like a regular little person. No, they got to be shorter. There's no chance. They're not smaller

Look at how tiny most of your people are Oh my god, it's like a collector's item. It's like a wedding cake topper That's so cute. That's like one of my bobblehead guys. That's like what you get at a baseball game It's little person Filipino collector's night. I you know what? I hate to say this or brag about my country But we have way cuter little people your little people are very cute zoom in on these two these two lovable items By the way, and this is back when You're talking about this is a time period you can tell from how old this is This is back when people in general weren't that good-looking. You know, it's like you go back in time

There's way more hotter people now than there's ever been and there will be exponentially as time grows You go back in the books. Almost nobody was good-looking like what what year is that say on there? I think it's because there were a what? 1940 Go, okay, google google photos right now of like average family in 1914 and look at how fucking ugly these people are gonna be You just go with google image. Let's see what the average family in 1914 Look at the fuck. Look at how wretched these people are Horrific. Look at that little girl down on the right

Look at how ugly that kid is I'd leave that outside I'm not bringing that in This is what the average people look like horrific people But don't you think it's because of like vitamin deficiencies and all right now you're making fun of whites. I understand I know what you're doing. No, it's also because we just didn't know how to care for ourselves at all at all Look at that. Let's just you ate till you died

You ate and drank whatever you could but I mean in some cultures like, you know More meat really was the beauty standard Right the fatter you were the better you were. Yeah, look at all these look look at mom. Look at the mama. By the way, she's 19 that mother That's what a 19 year old woman looked like in 1914 Where do farts go when you hold them in? Um, because I held one in today and I'm not kidding. My eyes hurt. Yeah Well, I used to do that a lot when I was working at Abercrombie folding clothes Um, I would squat down and I don't know why I like the image of you folding t-shirts just like

The client like mm-hmm Just holding it apart like Get the fuck out of here. I'm filming your shirt. Well, I'm not a crop duster. That's just not my vibe really No, like I don't like to ruin people's days like that So I would and it would bubble up to my kidneys and I would have extreme flank pain and I could barely walk home because I had to walk home after work And I remember just like always just being in pure suffering without holding them So they go somewhere

I probably out your eyeballs at some point because it hurt the back of my eyes hurt I held one in so deep and it just hurt my it just It just was so uncomfortable When you block a fart from escaping some of the gas can pass through your gut and be reabsorbed into your bloodstream You got fart blood From there it can end up being exhaled through your lungs coming out of your mouth via exhaling so you can actually burp a fart Is that why bad bad breath happens? That's exactly what it is. You've been burping a lot of farts in this room sometimes

I always I always hold my fart in school. That's why I have so many problems Babe, you got to let it out. Yeah, it's gonna come out your mouth. It's gonna be smelly I know but would you rather have a smelly burp mouth or be in such extruding pain that you're probably hurting your insides smelly mouth, okay See what I mean? I can't believe you can get fart. You can fart out of your mouth Tell you something. I'm farting right now Oh, that was such a polite one That's most of my farts. It almost is like so more unattractive than a

Yeah, it was too cute. Well, I held it and I just squeezed I squeezed my farts Uh, make the the anamanapia of like a town in the philippine Isn't that solid a town from where you're from? Yeah My farts always have a name of a town from the philippine Door dash. Hey, you got back-to-back meetings errands to run and chores to take care of What's the secret to clearing your to-do list a little help from door dash We've talked about door dash so much on this show. Bobby uses it I use it. Bobby loves to use it when he's out of Los Angeles because he gets freaked out

And he doesn't want to go to a restaurant and he doesn't know what to do aware to go So he does door dash whether it's last-minute school supplies and prompt to dinner fresh flowers for that special occasion With door dash there is a neighborhood of good in every single order every time you place an order for pickup delivery You're setting off a chain reaction that helps give back to the people who make your neighborhood unique with over 300 000 partners You can support your neighborhood go-tos or you can choose from your favorite national restaurants like Popeye Chipotle And bobby's favorite cheesecake factory door dash. You're not just getting the thing you love But you're supporting the community you love as well and isn't that what we want We both use it. We both love it if you don't use it

I don't know what you're using and for a limited time our listeners can get 25 up their first order of 15 dollars or more When you download the door dash app and enter the code bad friends 2022 That's 25 up to a $10 value of your first order when you download the door dash app in the app store and enter the code bad friends 2022 don't forget that's code bad friends 2022 That's code bad friends 2022 for 25% of your first order the door dash subject to change terms apply So when andre's got these wigs he was he was like this is for the thumbnail Okay You're a hair net

I gotta cut the hair net, right? I work in a cafeteria. Honestly you you look like uh Uh, you still look like a woman You look that's okay. Is that a woman's hair that you guys bought? Is that a check wig? Uh-uh. Why the why the hair net? Why is he wearing a hair net? Oh, take that off. You don't need to wear a hair net. Why I'm hairy. All right. You're hairy. I got it It's my dad's middle name Look at what you've isn't that wild. Oh my god What is this?

It doesn't really it look it look like a henrietta. Yes Oh my god, you do look like henra. This looks like you look like a woman from a from like the 50s like the housewife from the 50s This is like an extra like a house like a Pretty little boxes on the hilltop Okay. All right. Here we go. All right a long silence You realize of course that we can never be friends. What do you mean? Okay, we'll do it again. Sorry Let's do it again You realize of course that we can never be friends. What do you mean?

What i'm saying And this is not a come on in any way shape or form is that men and women can't be friends The sex part always gets in the way. That's not true. I have a number of men friends. There's no sex involved. No, you don't Yes, I do No, you don't yes, I do You only think you do you're saying i'm having sex with those men without my knowledge I know i'm saying they all want to have sex with you. They do not they do too. They do not do too How do you know?

Because no man can be friends with a woman. He finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her You're saying a man can be friends with a woman. He finds unattractive No, you pretty much want to have sex with them too. What if they don't want to have sex with you? Doesn't matter the sex thing is already out there. So the friendship is ultimately doomed and that's the end of the story. Well I guess we're not going to be friends then. I guess not. It's too bad You're the only person I knew in new york What do we think about that? There can be platonic friendships. I'm a big stan of platonic friendships Of course. Well, we're friends. I know but we've had sex

Wait, I'm I really do not want to believe this but there are people who really think that that's it's an impossibility to Be attractive and and have Male friends that don't want to fuck. It's probably easier to be friends with men and women If you're unattractive if you are not attracted to each other. It's much easier Some of my best friends are men that are good-looking Um, yeah decent-looking. Do you find them attractive? No, but I'm starting to think if like I wonder sometimes if I just like said hey Would you like what they would say? They'd say yes

Should we try? Yeah I think we should and they will and they will say yes I don't I don't want to believe that But I know that okay, so if you don't want to believe it don't ask because they're gonna say yes Yeah, that would ruin a friendship. They're gonna be like, uh, if you want to the problem with men is men Men may find a platonic relationship with someone that they that know is attractive But you know, they just kind of sectioned it off

But the moment that the woman's like, I think I would like to have sex with you a man is like absolutely It's like in our fucking DNA to be like, yeah, fuck. I've got the fucker thing. That's great Should we test out this theory? Should I call a friend? I think so I think maybe Is it a friend that you're okay to lose? I don't know maybe okay, if it doesn't work out the phone call doesn't work out. That's fine Boy, oh boy. I'm excited. It's a friend, Jules. Jules We have friends

Does it look funnier in this wig when I do stuff like that ready get closer to the mic Jules All right, let's hear this I just realized as soon as he was causing no, no, I can't do that as you were about to do it I was like, this is gonna be insane But I do want I kind of want to I can't do it. You can't What you should do for your own home test take home homework Mm-hmm text him and go Have you thought about fucking me just like that?

You know, what however you guys newly communicate but then get to the point of being like You got to be honest. Tell me if you thought about fucking me Because I want to see if that because that will be the gauge if he says um I mean No, but why then he wants to fuck you But if he says no right away if it's no right away, yeah, it's probably he probably is like no But if he says anything

Well Anything like that. Yeah, you know, it's a bug. Yeah, okay. That's good to know. You don't have any guy friends because you're with You're with a boyfriend now. Yeah, how's that going? Fine. She's gonna downplay it so much because I know her she's in love, huh? She accidentally Say it Shut up. You shut your mouth Because she's always like, you know, she always tries to play, you know, when you're young you try to play it cool

You know, I play cool. Yeah Anyone how in love you are but she accidentally texted me instead of her boyfriend. Oh my god. What did it say? And I'm like Jewel, what did it say? It was like with a lot of Shut up. That's the first part. That's the first part even the first part. It was like, babe With like 18 a's put it up put it up on the screen. I'm kidding. Relax Put it up on the screen. Relax. So you said babe. And then what did you say? You say it otherwise we're gonna say it I forgot

I forgot. I was sorry. Was it anything gross? No, no, but it was definitely sweet. It was like, babe. I miss you so much along those lines But if you ask her about it, she's always gonna be like very dismissive like he's good He doesn't know about the show, right? He knows but he doesn't know you're on it or listen to it He has I'm sorry when he says he doesn't listen. He probably doesn't Every single impossible every second of every episode he has watched. I could promise you that Oh, we don't say his name. His name is uh

George barabaduk. Is he a Filipino? Yeah. Oh, right one of the good ones Is he one of the languages that you guys speak or the other guy? No Oh, he does, you know, thanks for Thanks for coming on the show I love how when I left the house, I was like Jules you coming with me to bad friends. She was half asleep. She's like nope You know like coming here anymore. I thought it was Thursday. Were you excited about Thursday? Yeah Ah

You're getting too old for this show, huh? No, you're growing out of this show No This you know what this show is like This is like mom and dad want to play game night and you used to be like no, it's fun And now you're like, I don't want to play fucking shoots and ladders anymore Oh, you guys call the shoots and ladders. How lame what is it called snakes and ladders? That's a Filipino version Of course it is. We was it shoots and ladders. Yeah shoots and ladders. Oh, no, we had snakes. I know you did Snakes and ladders by the way

Yeah snakes and climb a tree To get away from enemy you must climb tree for half of game Snake no shoots. Look at me. Give me pull up snakes and why shoots. Yeah, what shoots shoots a slide Slides and ladders is what it should have been called But it shoots and ladders man. Oh shoots. Maybe like chute Shoots and ladders. Yeah. Yeah shoots and ladders Yeah, that's not what we had. Can you look up snakes and ladders?

Yeah, it's a discontinued There see snakes and ladders Snakes and ladders Oh, thank god. Wait zoom in. That's not the same game. It's the same It's the same you roll the dice you move forward if you land on a snake You fall back down You land on the ladder you climb It's the same you've been landing on a lot of snakes lately

Zoom in on that one Could you ever be a sugar daddy? Could I just give someone money without even getting anything in return? No, but like I could be a sugar baby If an older lady wanted to pay me just to be her little like flirt boy Yeah, and be like come clean my pool, but no touchy. No sucky. No licky. No fucky Yeah, what about once a month? What do I got to do? Go down on her. Nah

I don't want to eat that old fucking bag I easier to you know what I clear it with my wife. I'd easier be able to She probably let me just fuck her then go down on her She's like just fuck the old bag and just so we can get some more money from her But it depends on how much it's not worth it if it's you know It's got to be a good amount of money for me to just an extra three million a year You got it I wouldn't even think fucking twice

I'm meeting the box for three. That's great But then I just got to hang I would I'd be a little sugar baby for some older woman who's like Sad her husband left her or her husband died And she's like I just I just want someone young around to just kind of fucking pound me once a week I'd do it. Yeah, I would do it, but also See which where we get convoluted is I'd feel bad because I know she's emotionally Sad See because I know the woman that's seeking that

There's something else there the man that's seeking the sugar, but he's just a fucking pervy dude Guys are just pervy empty fucking cum buckets. We're just gross. We're just nasty Animals we're a poisonous frogs. Yep. We are Yeah, I always feel like once you drain that poison once you guys drink off you're so much nicer. We're different Yeah, we transform Meanwhile, will you guys come you're still assholes, you know Even bigger. Yeah, it's like the poison brews It's like when you're when you're flipping the fucking the clip this is just like the poison like bubble bubble toil and travel

Wait till I come you'll all go down I can't believe I'm still wearing this fucking wig All right, I gotta go I love you. Thank you so much for coming on the show jewels also neat that you came I know I give you shit, but you know You're a bad friend for fucking life and shout out to honey shout out to honey honey. Jules's mom Yeah, shout out to motherfucking honey. Honey is the shit. We love you honey. You're the best and uh, What's a philippine? What's uh, what's a philippino phrase I can say to honey?

Um, are you are you are you are you are you are you are you are you are you what does that mean? Like be well like take care. Are you are you there? Are you are you there? That means like older sister Oh, what is honey? What would honey but honey to me is just uh one of the homies like how do you say like uh Like miss you dog. How do you say that? Give me alcohol. So much too much. I think formal. It's formal. It's formal Give me like what the kids would say when they're like What do you say to friends when you haven't when you say goodbye to friends that you're not gonna see for a long time in the

Philippines you go home You see him and you're leaving you're like, all right. Bye guys. I'll fucking I say see you bye. See you. Bye. That's just goodbye Not emotional people down there, huh? All right, honey. See you. Bye Hey, Andrew before we go, uh, do you want to tell our audience about our podcasting course? A lot of you guys have been DMing us and emailing us and asking us how do we produce a podcast? Well, seven equies is doing just that At the helm of the boys that helped produce this show trash Tuesday and tiger belly

They're gonna teach you how to do the ins and outs of setting up the cams and plugging in the cords and pickpacking at the At the computer to figure out how to edit this thing and make it beautiful and lovely and wonderful So you can learn more about the boot camp Uh, that's gonna be happening in Los Angeles, California at seven equies in January That's right guys If you're gonna be like like pete and me and george

Well, nobody wants to be like george, but if you want to be like pete and me Go to seven equies.com and sign up for that course in january and i'll see you guys there Thank you for being a bad friend How many times do you change your panties jules? Oh, I change it every every time every time every time. What's the time? Like Two hours. Yeah, her and I are pretty Wait, uh, man

You change your panties every two hour like two three times a day too. What yeah, it's island folk Wait a minute your socks. No, but your panties so much Yeah split the difference I only change like I even wear clothes She doesn't have b.o. though. I know but come on Wait a minute your panties every fucking two out. What do you have to set an alarm? No, so every two hours you literally take off your underwear and put on new underwear. Yeah, because I feel dirty. What the fuck? Okay, can I just tell you what it's like you do this too? I'll tell you why

It's because once you've had this charge Yeah, pull it down and a cold breeze blows over it when you put it back on it's like now. It's like wet and cold like Goop I'm gonna call my wife But look at this is Andres um fancy trying balut for the first time. Are you eating balut right there? That's your little sister No, he's trying balut

Oh, look at that fucking face. I've had it so many times, but this is way more fresh than this day It tastes way much better Did you like it fans? It's so good Are you guys doing this from like a it was this you guys doing tiger belly from like the inside of a shop Yeah, her mom's um store. I got some brain dude. Uh, hey camera left, please. Sorry. Fancy Wait, so that's your little sister right there. Yeah, does she still live in the Philippines?

Yeah, is she is she gonna come to the states with you? I don't know. Does she want to be here or no? I think so. She's been here. Yeah, but I mean live here I'm trying to look at fancy. Jules, how do you feel seeing your mom's store? It's kind of wild. Yeah, I miss it. Did you used to work there? Sometimes, yeah. Oh, that's that's so sweet. How cute. A tiny little store and that little that piece of bread there with the red inside of it We call that burikut. Burikut and it means um breasted toot.

No, wait, we're really why is bread with red a hooker? Is that so wet? It's so wet.