Bad Friends - Bobo's Big Head and Rudy Wins an Oscar!

Episode Date: September 7, 2020

Thank you: DoorDash download app and use code BADFRIENDS & http://meundies.com/badfriends & http://helixsleep.com/badfriends & http://feetures.com code: badfriends Subscribe to our YouTube: http://bit.ly/BadFriendsYouTube 0:00 Bobby & Andrew Trade Compliments 8:25 Review: John Was Trying to Contact Aliens 12:40 Our Three Songs for Space 26:01 Giggling & Crying Together 37:05 David Lynch's The Elephant Man 45:30 Rudy's Taking Acting Classes 49:06 On The Waterfront Scene Reading 53:08 Step Brothers Scene Reading 1:07:23 Fight Scenes & Ace Ventura 1:18:20 Your Responses to the Who Yells First Poll 1:27:30 Bobby Wrestes Matt Dillon More Bobby Lee TigerBelly: https://www.youtube.com/tigerbelly Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bobbyleelive/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/bobbyleelive Tickets: https://bobbyleelive.com/ More Andrew Santino Whiskey Ginger: https://www.youtube.com/andrewsantinowhiskeyginger Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino/ Twitter: https://Twitter.com/cheetosantino Tickets: http://www.andrewsantino.com/ More Bad Friends iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-friends/id1496265971 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/badfriendspod/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/badfriends_pod Official Website: http://badfriendspod.com/ Opening Credits and Branding: https://www.instagram.com/joseph_faria & https://www.instagram.com/jenna_sunday Credit Sequence Music: http://bit.ly/RocomMusic // https://www.instagram.com/rocom Character Design: https://www.instagram.com/jeffreymyles Produced by George Kimmel & Bryce Hallock - 7EQUIS Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Anchor if you haven't heard about anchor It's the easiest way to make a podcast. Let me explain. Oh, please It's free. Awesome. That's cool These are there are creation tools that allow you to record and edit your podcast right from your phone or your computer You do it from your phone like on the go. Oh my god That's cool the bus or the subway you can do it. That's cool Anchor will distribute your podcast for you so it can be heard on Spotify Apple podcast and many many many many many many more You can make money from your podcast too. No minimum listenership. How about that? You can make money with no minimum listenership

It's everything you need to make a podcast all in one place. Where do we have to go Bob? Download the free anchor app or go to anchor.fm to get started. You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots? So, um, I would like to open up this podcast by saying I appreciate ya me. Yeah, I think it I think I honestly know I You know, I've been thinking about you Laying in bed when I lay in bed call I was asleep usually and I just kind of lay in bed And I think about you and I get warm fuzzies and I think to myself. What a lucky guy. I'm Well, I'm lucky to have you as a friend. Yeah, I'm lucky to have you To work with you because you're one of the top comedy talents that I could I it's like if I had a wish list of

The best people I could do it with you to be in the top of the list. I'm very lucky in that way I'm we have great chemistry. I just am blessed to have you in my life and I just you're a great guy, man. I love you Bob. I love you too, man. I love you. I love you too and You know, I think you're just so talented, you know, what's great about you as well. Yeah is you are You're handsome Huh, you're a good-looking guy as well. Where's this going? No, where this genuine. Yeah, you know what dude? No, honestly, dude, bro. I've just had a Rebirth man really you feel and I have other things. I want to say I don't want to say the jewels

Are you done with me? There's so much I can say I just want to say thank you not only that I just think that Your wife is a super it's like a superb human Yeah, like she was made, you know, almost perfectly. Yes. Yeah, you both were thank you and I think that you come from great stock Bobby, you know, I really your parents dude. I don't know much about him. Yeah, even your og dad Yeah, I'm sure he was crazy and violent whatnot. Yeah, but I'm sure that he is just Too legitimately when too legit to go at one of the greatest. Yeah. Yeah. Well, can I say something about you? Please? you are

by far My favorite comedian. Thank you. Sorry my favorite Korean comedian Okay, I take that I you know what I take it and I mean that and I think it's great name another Korean comedian That's as good as you Ken Jeong Shit, yeah, I didn't think about but yeah. All right, you know, you're probably making this into a bit But I'm not gonna be sincere. Let me be sincere. All right. You're one of the most talented people I've ever known in my entire life appreciate it. I love you. Uh-huh. I'm so happy that we're doing this show together

Yeah, there's only one problem with the show what? Yeah, he's Rudy. I know and she's so spoiled and I told you guys in the parking lot She got a gift Someone sent you an amazing gift and I don't know if you deserve it and Bobby actually said don't give it to her Yeah, but can I just finish my thing or not? Oh, sorry. Yeah, may I yeah, because I want to move on from it Okay, I do I want to say what my piece I want to move on from it Before you say anything. Yeah, are you still smoking or no? I've gone to three a day. It worked. It's working It's working. Yes. It's working feels good. I feel great. I feel great about life and I feel good

Do you feel better genuinely? I do and I feel like breathing. Let me hear you breathe into the mic Feels great sounds good. Uh-huh Jules, you know, if I had a daughter, I probably would want you as my daughter. I think that you are What a great lady. Mm-hmm. She Cleans vomit cat vomit. She does. Yeah, she does and you do it perfectly You she does she I love your animation your anime Likes and a may shun a anime like you you've recommended me some I love them all Yeah, I think that you're pure at heart. Ah, Andreas. You're you're better looking than

Pew Pew you look better looking than Puyol. Who's Puyol? He was a defense. You know Puyol. Yeah He's a defender for Barcelona. Yeah. Yeah, I think that you're you move like Iniesta You know another another another soccer player. I think that when I smell you I don't smell, you know nasty beans Fancy beans. I smell fancy beans. I think you're a great guy. George. If you're listening, you're one of my favorite people in the whole world Yeah, I really do and I'll tell you why I'm doing this And I'll tell you why there's an explanation to all this, you know, I'm telling um You know, I gotta

Sometimes I go on the gram. Mm-hmm. I go on the gram. Yeah, what was on the gram and um You know, I said this guy just you know, I don't you know, I get a lot of direct messages, you know And I said God, you're such a massive cunt to sentino. That's the first sentence Is that what he said? Yeah. God, you're such a massive cunt to sentino You have all these ball-gaggling sycophants around you that validate your shitty behavior Are you 50 fucking years old and he leaves it at that you're 49 48 48 Yeah, and he gets not a sad tar anymore, dude. It's just bullying and You know what usually I don't know this guy, but you know, I I

Went at first. I was in a rage when I read it I threw the phone This fucking son of a can I see it? I want to see his sure. Yeah, I want to see his profile But don't say his name. Of course not. I don't need no need. No need. Yeah, no need. So no need But I want to see his profile. Yeah, look at his profile so I can thank him No, yeah, so and you know when I got that message, I I did some introspection Yeah, and I thought to myself, um, this guy has a point What a piece of shit I am and

I need to be better around The people around me because the people around me love and they don't need my toxic Poisonous, you know words to hurt them and slash them down every day You know, I need to be more uplifting and so for the rest of this podcast my friend I am going to approach it right as a Christian. I am going to approach it in the purest form I can I'm not going to degrade anybody. Okay, I'm not going to make fun of anybody I'm just going to be Mr. Positive. Okay, and I think that that's going to be my new route in life. I Found a new path

You know so um, but okay, let me let me ask two things one This guy is a fan of you obviously, right? Sure and thank you for being one But he's obviously a fan I love him so maybe he's taking it too serious when we joke around with each other I appreciate the The notes and I appreciate your criticism and I took it to heart. Thank you friend. He took it to heart. Yeah Well, I'll say this I Love you to death. Love you. You're the greatest guy. I've never met. This is not it's working But can I tell you what you said? Can I say what you said after that? No, don't read my response

Well, no, you he said are you I don't read my response. Well, he said are you 50 years old? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Evan I say Evan yeah, yeah, yeah changing. I don't use the F word. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, and you said 48 Yeah, you sort 48. That's all right. It's not set to her anymore. Dude. It's just pulling I get unsubscribed yada yada yada What is he saying they're always gonna unsubscribe from us? Yeah from our show. Yeah, huh? He's defending me, but he doesn't want to see us together anymore. Yeah, he's wanted He wants to break it up. He wants to break us up. Yeah, no, I think that he just doesn't find the way I approach the podcast is Positive and he thinks it's he later says that whatever everything I say is cringe worthy

So, um, and I really took it to heart So I don't want to say cringe-worthy things and I want to change I'm getting too old To be combative and beings. I just think I feel like I'm too mean This is positive. I guess I want to be positive and I want to change my stuff So I think this podcast is gonna be completely just positive from me And I'm not gonna say anything negative and I love the way you bobble your head. It's cute. I really do I have to say this that I saw the documentary you recommended which one? John and aliens John talks to John tries to talk to aliens. Yeah, how fun was that? Mmm?

You didn't like it. I mean, um, I wish I could get the 17 minutes back. It's 17 minutes It's hard to do this positive, but this is what that guy was talking about. I know I Know this is what the guy's talking about. So let me just the reason there's a beautiful love story It I think the love is good. You know, it's another bad You know, it's another bad documentary you shouldn't watch and I mean it what Netflix is I am a murderer released. It's about a guy that had a life sentence He did 30 years and then Texas overturned his death sentence and he got released and I'm thinking this is gonna be good They introduced this woman. He goes to live with this woman. He calls mama and I think they're sleeping with each other

Yeah, yeah, and I think right away. Well, I want to watch it. So don't give it away I'm not gonna but I think right away with this woman. Yeah, he goes to live with. Yeah, what do you think? He's gonna? Killer I'm like he's got a killer or does he point point? What does he nothing fun? Nothing fun happens. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing happens. It's not worth watching. No, I texted Netflix I emailed Netflix. Oh, what is it? Can we go back to John go back to John? Yeah. Yeah So I defunded out watching it. I got this is into very interesting. Yeah, this documentary, right? And it's about a guy, right? Who um, he was a way, you know, let's start with let's start with he had a traumatic childhood yes and

He was I guess beaten by his parents. They were drug addicts. I think by everybody. Yeah. Yeah, and his grandparents I love grandparents like this by the way. So nice. They go well I'm gonna take you out of this toxic situation and we're gonna raise you ourselves. Yeah, and then so at that point I think that's when I lost me and he you know, and then John goes um Can I talk to aliens and they were like, what do you mean? You know, I just can I have a half a million dollars so I can buy the equipment and they're like, well We've been saving all of our lives and then so they what they do is they they're sitting in their living room And this piece of shit it starts building. You know, I mean, you know, he takes over the whole house

He takes over the whole house building all this equipment to contact the aliens, you know And I just think that it would have been a little better that if the grandparents said half a million dollars and he goes Yeah, and they said a NASA we they do it They have it. Yeah, but he wants to be no, no, no, no, no, they have it. They talk to aliens. They've been up there Yeah, but in 1977 they launched the Voyager 2 which reached what they were all the planets It went around circling all the planets. That's insane in our solar system. Yeah, they went to Venus They saw the all the off moons as well. They didn't go to all of them. Yes, they did They used the rotation of the foot. My point is is that you name the planets? Yeah, my very good mother

Go ahead. Yeah, I don't know that in order, but Venus Jupiter Saturn, right? Yeah, Mars. Yeah Venus said that already about Serena Uranus Venus Serena Serena Uranus. Yeah, Eurythra. Yeah Venus and and Calabrese Williams top enough. That's Williams But anyway, so I would have said I wouldn't know I would have said that and then it's like and then you know He found another fatty that he fuck. Hey. Hey, I love it. I love it. Be positive. I love the love

I know you're right. He found the love of his life. He found the love of his life and they may not know that's right You're right. You're right. Yeah, I'm trying to correct myself. I know found the love of his life, right? And at the end he makes out with her at him. Well, they kiss because they're they love and you don't want to see men kiss I love it. I love it. I love it I love it and I was watching it and I turned to call. I was blushing. Yeah, yeah, I mean and I did a tremble You know, I mean, I think it was a love tremble. Okay. It wasn't negative. What did Calabase? She goes, oh, and I went But you know what I think that was a love Gurgle, I think the problem was because they both have big heavy beards. Yeah, anyway, so good luck to them

Yeah, good luck, and thank you so much All that equipment by the way that all the money they spent is now in a warehouse. It's in a warehouse and no one's using it Yeah, because it doesn't work. I know what it's his only thing he liked. Oh, can I just say one last thing? Sure, right? It's like, um, so he what was he he was sending music up there, right? Yes, he was like broadcasting Nigerian Afro funk, right? He's like, okay He's sending Nigerian Afro funk up in space, right? And what I would ask him is to put up some Adele a little bit People like a little bit of a day Adele Taylor's way. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, some tunes. Yeah. Yeah Don't put up like you know me. This is albino country music from fucking Argentina. They don't want to hear that

Yeah, well, maybe they want to hear pop. How do you know what aliens like? But that's the thing. You don't know that they like so what if you're like Nigerian afro punk They might but also throw out some stuff that we all like Right a little bit of Beach Boys. I'm Whitney Whitney Houston. Yes, some Whitney. I get it. You know beat it. Whatever if you're gonna send if you're gonna hit music to space What are you sending? What's the top three things you'll send? I would probably send some sort of opera Oh, okay, because you know it shows Availa Maria

Probably Availa Maria. Yeah, right the very good song, right? I would probably send also some um, I Would send something poppy like Whitney or something. Okay, you know, I know, you know, I would probably sell us probably the Eagles Oh, yeah pass. No, what hotel, California not hotel cover like easy peasy Take it easy. Take it easy. Can I tell you something? I'm being genuine. Yeah. Yeah, yeah When I was going through this this My ocular migraines in college and I was having really bad panic attacks and sending me to the ER because I couldn't see out of my left Eye and I thought I was dying take it easy. That's not funny. I just No, you're right. Are you okay?

No, are you okay? Don't pretend. No, I'm not trying to pretend. I like old I like old Bobby. I want to fucking change. I like old Bobby. I don't want I want I want this new one You're supposed to make fun of me when I say something like that. No, I'm not gonna Are you okay? Really? I'm gonna keep tempting you. Are you okay? I hit my face on my counter when I passed out during an earthquake What do you think? And I you know what when that happened? I was It was sad funny. No, you thought it was funny. I wanted to go to I wanted to go to the hospital I wish I was there with you live the hospital. Okay. So anyway, I did I used to listen to the Eagles take it easy because it Called me down

But I don't even like the Eagles. I know I think I think they're great. Hmm. What three songs would you send to space or three bands? um One would be an anime song And that's why we would never put you There will never be a documentary Jules talks to aliens Because they would talk back. Actually, they probably love anime. You know what Kalilah did? She spent $5,000 or something to put her name on a plaque that's got on a satellite that was sent to the thing

Oh, yeah, yeah, and 50,000 people did it. Yeah, you think the aliens are gonna grab the fucking satellite and go Kalilah Yeah, no. Yeah, they are. No, they're gonna explode it. No, they're gonna take and go And another fucking thing Kalilah did is one time one time. She you know what she did she goes, um I go, where are we going? It's four in the morning We're gonna go see the the launching of the satellite Into the the plaque into space whatever and I go, okay. I'm gonna sleep Um, that's the old me the new me would go. Thank you. Where are we going? I got my binoculars. Let's go Oh, good boy. Yeah. Yeah. I've got my little fucking antenna hat. Well now that I have you in this good mood. Yeah

I think I think but gotta tell you what happened tomorrow morning. We should go for a walk. I love it And let's go you want to go hiking I'll bring my shoes 9 a.m. Will you go? I'll be there You're gonna look at the butterflies in the trees. Well, there is no butterflies. Whatever it is, but there's trees Is there fresh air 9 30? Are you gonna be there? That's the most important thing you didn't even tell us the songs we cut her off an anime song and what else Let me just finish this thing right just give her two more let her have two more Um Maybe a rock song so that aliens would be curious what rock song

um Maybe like nirvana Okay, pretty good. I like that. That's a good choice. Pretty good. What song what song though? Um teen spirit or lithium Lithium. Yeah, very good. I would do rape me Yeah, yeah, that makes sense. I would do rape me because that's a signal to tell them come on down It's just a good song and it's also teaches them about

You know bad things to about life or I write what else what are you looking for on the floor? Did you lose something? No, I thought I dropped my um rubber band. Oh and then Maybe a classic song or a classic song like what? I don't know. Yes, you do the word out there. Yes, you do I Don't know anything. She doesn't know any. Yeah, you don't know any. Yeah, you don't know one classic rock song Not a rock song. No classic song. You don't know any classic songs. Do you know a beetle song? Maybe a beetle song. What's beetle song? Um, hey june. Hey june. Hey june. Hey june's a good song

Hey june When is it april Yeah, it's a good song. So that's good. You'll send hey june up there Yeah, yeah. Hey june's a good one. Here's my three ready. Yeah, go ahead Otis redding great Sitting on the dock of the bay unconventional song. There's a lot of different But I like it because there's a song he wrote before he died. So I like it. He died Otis died

crashed in a plane crash with richie Richie Richie Val and the bro He died in lake monona, which is in madison, Wisconsin. Oh, shit. You know those two lakes that surround madison? Of course the wake wake monono lake lake monono. Yeah, and I'm he died in one of them one of them crashed There's otis redding anything really about otis redding I would send them, uh Really any radiohead that's really tough, but I would send them something by radiohead

I would just put you know what I would send them the whole okay computer. Okay computer. Yeah, you just like that Do I like okay computer? Yeah, because you don't seem artsy in that way. Oh bobby, but you are you're creative. Thank you Thank you. See that that's just you judge it. You don't know enough about what I like because you just white dudes stiff white I'm a stiff white dude No No, I'm friends with hip-hop artists. I know I know some too, you know who? What one friend do you have in hip-hop? I have a friend named marshal. He's pretty good. What is it? What marshal? What? I don't know. He's his name is m&m or something like that. You're not friends with m&m

I did this video So that's because he liked because he wanted a chunky korean guy in the video That's how your friends are now we talked and we hung out really do text him call him. No Why do you have his number? No now friends? Oh, so you I need to have the number to have To be friends with somebody. Yep, you're right. I you know what I fucked up You're up. No gift. Oh great. What is it? I have a gift for rudy. Yeah

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Look at that It's absolutely stunning. It's fucking stunning dude, and it's sharp as fuck. Well. Yeah, I could be careful This is real. Yeah, I just want to do that. No. Yeah. Yeah, don't cut Yeah, go across but you know, it's down the street not across the road if you're gonna do it. Ah, definitely don't yeah It's a great knife. This is your beautiful knife. What do you think? It's really, uh, beautiful Oh, yeah, so thank you. Thank you to ever whoever me small plate blades. All right. Let me go back to my You want me to go back to myself? Yeah, of course, this is not working

I just I want you to be you and he made us one bob. Look at this And what does that say? Bad friends bad friends Me and these dude, dude, dude So um, it's I'm so glad that this at we're doing this ad because number one, you know, I say I when I say Hey, I love something. Yeah On these it's not just because they're paying me Right, but check this out. It's so funny because I didn't know we're gonna do it today. I'm wearing me undies now

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You want to just drink water? Yeah, people do 30 day water fast and I want to do a water fast. I think one guy died One guy died. That's bad. Yeah, one guy died But um, I want to do what today. I haven't eaten all day Could I watch that fast documentary? So I'm going to um, try not to eat really Yeah, I don't know if that's a good idea. I gotta figure something out. I have to read I have to I you know, I've been stagnant Maybe I'm fat and I just want to eat pizza so fucking badly all the time. It is the best I have six fucking Luma not these pizzas in my freezer and they're just been sitting there

Because I'm trying every time I eat a pizza my neck hurts and I want to fucking I do I know But your neck hurts from eating pizza. Yeah, and my neck hurts. Do you eat I eat the whole thing and my whole My blood pressure shoots through the roof my neck hurts and I can't move and I feel like shit I like cripples you. Yeah, and but then I yesterday. I'm like, I'll go to fucking um Um, I'll go to Mendocino farms and get the impossible sell, you know the impossible me sure so they slide This is not good. It's not good for you. They put it in there and I shaked it up. I ate it. I'm like, oh, that didn't feel good And then I saw a healthy food doesn't feel good either. Well, it doesn't feel like you ate anything right? It's just air So then I and then um last night, um, I don't really eat much and then today I'm getting out of fast

So I need to change my life And so they're doing um, I was watching that documentary well, and then there's another episode about um tantric sex I want to do that. Maybe I want like somebody's fingers on my belly and I want to orgasm Without, you know, ejaculation. Do you know how hard that is? They have to you have to last hours and hours and hours without I want a two hour orgasm with you With me. I don't know. I said that wait seriously. Are you being? No, I don't know. I said that I would love it I would love it. I would do to work. Do you want a tantric?

I would do a two-hour tantric orgasm. How much we could open an only fans and see how many people would pay for us to Tantra. Well, there's a lady in in um in mexico that we could stay at her place Yeah, I would do it to our her name is last name's cobra Real he was like sasha martha cobra or something martha cobra and she um, no, she's white Oh, okay. She's white. What's going on in mexico? She has her own institute a tantric sex interest That's right. It's illegal probably to do here. I don't know but you and I could get naked and um, we could sit and touch each other She puts her fingers on your belly. Why in your belly? I don't know in your button Maybe sometimes do you have an innie or an outie and she goes, you know, just giggle and then in the documentary

They were giggling so I would love to get naked and giggle with you And then and then and then what she does is and then cry if you want to so they cry And then they go laugh And then they orgasm together. So I would love to lock eyes with you and just orgasm without being gay What do you mean? How is it gay? I just don't want to add that to be thrown in Why there's just no gay What's it's just friends It's just two guys two guys naked laughing orgasm together. What's gay? There's nothing here. No, it's fine. That's cool. Yeah

We could touch each other Yeah, but not like hold like hold hands Well, but don't they say you also you take we can tickle noses we get we can tickle noses But we you know what we also could do. Yeah, because we're laying side by side together, right? Yeah, our dicks aren't out Yeah, they are They might be in my mind. They are. Yeah. Yeah, but but in the in the document They have a blanket which way is it dick your dick laying? You know how it lays sometimes straight up. I'm hard. Oh, you are Yeah, yeah, straight up soft for the whole thing. Yeah. Oh, you are well tantric says you have to really calm yourself and pace

Yeah, yeah, so I would lay next to you. It'll be doing this. You know when it says that you know when it's going down And oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's getting the heartbeat back. Yeah, and then I don't know where sometimes like whoa And you're like, oh, yeah, and it comes down and I would lay next to you and I would just um You know giggle come And then cry And I think that would you want to snuggle at the end you want a spoon? No I walk away. Oh, you're gonna leave me the way I am. I might even take a plane without you and just leave That's kind of hot. Yeah. Yeah, you leave me you smoke a cigarette and you go see you back in that way

No, don't even do that. Look at on me. Don't even do that Oh, Bobby. No, we we do the session, right? Yeah, I literally like a zombie get up Get up Pack my shit and get out and I just take a Mexican uber and I'm out of there. Uh, you want to fast with me? Yeah No, no, I can't drink just water. I can't do it. But what it says it resets your your body But you can reset your body in other ways like wow By doing stretching exercising mindful meditation, you know, I've been trying to do that Really difficult to do. Yeah, because my water heater went out and I was two weeks without water

I don't know the name of the company, but I but I do want to defame them on our podcast I will defame the homeowners insurance company that screwed us over. So the water heater Yeah, when I was going I was went out had two weeks of cold showers. Do you pee in the shower? I pee right outside of the shower. Do you really pee you don't pee in the shower every time? Yeah, me too. Don't doesn't everybody do you pee in the shower? You pee in the shower. Yeah. Yeah. Fancy do you? No Fancy doesn't pee in the shower. Yeah, of course. Because it's fancy. Why don't you fancy you go in the toilet? Of course

Loser. Are you afraid to pee in the shower? It goes it's the same drain. Do you pee in the swimming pool? I pee in my pool It's my pool But in a public pool have you peed? If it's in a public pool, I'll get out and I'll stand up and I'll I'll pull it out And I'll pee right into it I won't pee while I'm swimming. No, but I I I always pee in a public pool. You're supposed to that's what they're public That's the whole point of a public pool is to pee in it. But could I so I would love to take a poll of how many people pee in the shower I'm offended. You don't pee in the shower fancy

That's so so stupid. But one time I went to splash mountain six flags. Yeah Not a splash mountain. They have a water park attached to six flags. Do you know that? Yeah, I think the water slide That's what I mean. Yeah, right And around the water side park, I swear to god, I did this around the water side side slide park There's a river lazy river. It's like a lazy river, right? Yes And 10,000 kids are in this river. Oh, yeah, right? Oh, yeah, and I went in the river and my friend laban. I have a friend named laban I know my friend labor. He's a skater. Okay labor goes dude. Don't go in there, bra And I go why it's it'll be funny. I'll take the life rough

Don't go in there bra I wouldn't go in there. I go why he goes, you know how to be kids shit in there and piss in there And I go, dude, look at the river. That's like I drink that water You're like, dude, I'm gonna get in piss in that water. I might that's why I'm getting in I went to the hospital I went straight to the hospital. You got an infection. I had to put they had to drain my body. I had an effect I had diarrhea. I almost died Dude, that water is fucking like

Rancid it's so gross. It's it's all By it's little it's all bacteria just peeing all day because what I did was I was I was trying to be funny I was on the tube. My friend laban was like did get out of there, bra Right, and I was like drinking the water. Oh, like just to be funny. You know, I mean like dude. What look next thing I swear to fucking god, dude that place should shut down Yeah, but just don't get in that water. You're right. Let's let the water slide So you do? Yeah, I don't like them. I love them. I don't like them Why?

Because I went I fell off one in high school. Really? Yeah. Yeah, I I went to a I went to a fair ones in delmar and They had roped off a section I go and then I looked at this roller coaster and there was a father and a Kid dangling they had fallen off the roller coaster shut up. Yeah, and I remember going Hurry, I want to get on it I'm being real. I would because I thought that I didn't know what it was at first. You didn't know they were in danger Yeah, they didn't die, but they were about to did they?

I don't know, but I was like hurry it up. You know, I mean, let's go because I was waiting in the line I think or something I I went to Six Flags one time when they shut it down It was called Six Flags Great America in in uh, Chicago land and they shut it down because one of the rides got stuck And the people were in it sideways stuck sideways sitting in the in the chair sideways. Oh, wow On on like on the bank an embankment curve. Yeah, and they're like help And honestly, I scared for like five minutes and then afterwards I was like, let's go. Yeah I don't want to see if they get if they die her family. Yeah, they build waterslides cowards Yeah, we went to disneyland, right every ride disneyland. Yeah. It's not magic. I wrote everything except the garden. No, yeah

We go to the guardians of galaxy right, right? Awesome. Did you see it? We ride it? Yeah, it's awesome. It's awesome, right? I've done one too. Why why why I'm scared. What are you scared of? Of the roller coasters and like the up and down Nobody dies on them other than kyle schmitt 10 year old boy four years ago Yeah, most people don't die. Yeah, I'm not I'm not scared of them. No, some people just don't like one out of a hundred people die Maybe Maybe a little bit more. Yeah, maybe one out of 70, but you're not going to be one of the one Yeah, you think you're going to be the one that dies on the roller coaster

Are you scared of planes? No, because you guys took a boat to get over here I think I feel like you're what are you scared of other than roller coasters? Just that I just don't like um to g4s, but your father and your mother wouldn't go on the other ones Oh, it's a family thing. You know that right? Yeah. Yeah, you don't like the G's You don't like to be pushed back in your seat. Does it make you well, they don't have that in the philippines You don't have we're not used to we're not they're not used to it. Life is a roller coaster in the philippines. I know The whole life is yeah getting through the day is tough. Yeah, they don't have fairs in the philippines So they now have like a summer fair

Just a few just like a ferris wheel. Have you done a ferris wheel? Yeah, that's okay. I'm okay with that. What about the one where you stick to the wall? That's the g4s one What's that called? I know that one. You know where it whips around so fast. I love that one. What's that called? Do you know what I'm talking? You don't know what this is You're in like a you're in like a circular room. Yeah, and it's it just starts going Yeah, it's sucked against the wall. Oh, I love and sometimes you people see people vomit and it splashes right back in her face Yeah, it happens a lot. Yeah. Yeah, I love it. I love the guy next to him And then you see the funny guy like the jackass guy like the kid

He stands up trying to stand up on it the carnival riding at the gravatron the gravatron gravatron There's people that will stand up when the gravatron. That's what I'm saying You always see guys trying to do that how to ride it like a pro. Watch this guy. Watch this guy Okay, there's all the g4s see they're on the wall. Look at this dude. He's standing up Oh my god Oh They're moving, you know, he loves it. He doesn't care at all Oh, there's another guy doing it

I was never that guy. Yeah, I was always this was me right here. Yeah, that's me Just arms up panic the whole time. Yeah And look at the carnival ride guy in the middle here. Look at this freak. I love this dude I think it's a cool life to be able to just move towns They call them carnies That's what we're that's basically what comics are we're carnies Yeah, I think I would I would do that I would do it while you just travel around have fun. Yeah, man. Oh, I eat, you know, I eat uh fried twinkies

fried orio's breakfast lunch and dinner and uh, I get to look at the girls They never get the fuck them though. No, of course not. No, well, maybe they never get the fuck What about the people that work in the freak show? Maybe they maybe they're fun to party with oh, dude The dude that's Barnum Barnum and Bailey Barnum and Bailey dude. That's I think I did that in the previous life You were a Barnum Bailey. No, I was the show. I was a part of a show. Oh, you were like part of the freak show Yeah, yeah, what was your freak? That no no legs. Yeah, you're right. You were a fin arms stumpy fin arms Hairy face stumpy fin arm. Hairy face and I would sit there in a cage, right? Yeah, and people would pay

a dollar just to walk in 50 cents 75 75 75 cents, right? And they just they would go like this. They would look at me Right, they would yeah, they would walk in there. It is they wouldn't say he There it is. And they would they would look right at me. Yeah, and they had to go And spit right in my face everyone lugi, right? I would eat them out of the air. Oh, you catch the loose Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, and no one ever taught me how to speak Oh

That's how I'd say but would spit in your mouth. Yeah. Yeah, you just catch I think that I was yeah I think the scariest movie I've ever seen By far because I was a kid when I saw it Was david lynches the elephant man. Oh my god Oh my god, bro image burned into my brain in my brain Okay, well, how do they sound? Animal I mean this we have to play the you'll sleep for a week. Do you know what the elephant man is?

The elephant man moony. I'm a human being. I'm not an animal. I'm a human being. Yeah, I'm not an animal. This is the scene, right? This is Rudy. Do you know what elephant man is? No, it's a real guy by the name of john maric That's right. He really existed. He had elephant tight as of the face But back in london or whatever, right? Yeah, he um He was a circus sideshow guy, but was whipped and treated poorly. I mean they basically they beat they beat him into being They like enslaved him and john hurt played them John hurt. Yeah the actor John hurt. Oh hurt. I was like not john hurt hurt. Yeah, john hurt. Yeah, john hurt had passed away. Yeah, good actor

By the way, great guy Stop that man. Stop him now Did he just get go go golfing? Is that a golf club? What is that? Oh Oh, no, no, no It looks like tony henscliffe Now they want to follow me just trying to go get the train. Yeah, yeah, let's go follow him. Let's go check it out You just try to go to the barber shop. He's just trying to get a trim. Yeah. Yeah, you want to get cleaned up?

You want to get a foe hawk? Oh, no, the cage. Oh, no, the cage. I am not an animal. I am not an animal. I am not an animal. I am a human being. Oh How heartbreaking What do you think Rudy it's sad it is You know, it's so funny. You know, it's so funny. It's not okay 20 years ago, right? Yeah, 20 years ago. I was watching this going chop his head up, you know You know back then you have mob mentality. Get the bat. You know what I mean? Get him. You're an animal. You know what I mean? Whatever Right, and now when I just saw that dude. I got fucking emotional, bro

Right, that's so sad what people used to do doesn't that tell you something about what I've changed. I think doesn't that tell you something about I think I think what's going on now is helpful Some of the things that you know the social, you know, it's the social mob I think some of it it has, you know, some of it some of it some of it's a little too far some of it's insane. All right But it's like um that really because as a kid. I was just like get him, you know, yeah Even when he said that Fuck you you fucking freak, you know and just yeah, you know jab the fucking in his eyes. You know what I mean? The boiled slash, you know, I mean whatever, you know, but now it's like I want to go come here

My big-headed friend help him out and hold them and hold them not too close. Yeah. No, no head to the side Yeah, yeah, yeah, but I'm like you want to be my roommate Right and have him come in They really they really ridiculed really because just because the way he looked. Yeah, this is how people treat people You see that Rudy? What does that teach you be nice? Just in the Philippines. Do they have things like that? Yeah, oh dude. I feel like the Philippines has probably what have you seen there? um Faces that are burned like like like full or half. Oh my god. That's crazy. Wait. Why did they get burned? They burned

It's a fire. There's a lot of fire accidents that happened there. Why are there so many fire accidents in the Philippines? um, like The gasoline it's not um How do you say it? It's not um hot. No Is that Really hot? No, the gasoline is just um, you just buy a gasoline the the tank. Yeah, and then Some people just leave it Oh, um on oh, so they well, I don't know what you mean like I know what they're doing

Yeah, they buy the tank of gasoline. Yeah, they light it on fire and they go to sleep and they just leave it They just leave it in their house on their house right next to you as a pillow. Is that a normal thing to just be like? To light it and walk away. No, they don't light it. Do you mean propane? Yeah, I'll pray Not gasoline propane gas. So they have propane accidents propane. So it's a tank. Yeah And what's it connected to like stoves? You're right. Yeah, so so blows up a lot Yeah, and then and then they oh my god. Have you ever had a close friend have a gas have a propane accident? No, nobody you know nobody. I know. Oh just you see people though And do people are people mean to them in the streets? They do they do. Yeah, what do they say to them?

What's something that they would say like like ugly or um, they say it out loud. They just yell ugly Yeah, wow god. Yeah society. But they're gonna change. That's bad. It's just yell ugly Yeah, and they make fun of them like like push them around. What really what they fucking shoulder check them They're fucking assholes. They're hockey check. They're hockey check. Yeah, they tackle them Is that normal? Is that normal to do? Do people not say anything when someone's mean to somebody who has a burn? Um, is there a nickname do they call them something? Yeah Burnies no, I don't I've never heard of nicknames. They just they're mean to people in the streets like that. Yeah, god That's so sad

That's so sad that you would just do that to someone probably cruel Like for halloween, right? They know a guy that was in the fire, right? So then you dress up as an egg Right and you just kind of stand next to him. Yeah bacon, you know, whatever, you know, I mean this fucking fucked up shit Right fucked up shit. That's funny though. Yeah, but hey guys, that's not me being mean. It was just a hypothetical thing Okay, stop. Don't don't instagram nothing features Hey feet babe features a small change in your life can make a big difference. Uh, it's a huge change I I believe in very comfortable footwear and socks. Okay. I don't like wearing a couple shoes

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Okay, so rudy wants to take acting classes Yeah, baby and we want to get her into the biz Well, yeah, I think that she has the uh the bug right now She's got the potential for sure to be a great actor because I wish like how old were you when you first started? I was uh 30 yeah, like like I didn't get a job until I was Uh 27 or 8 or something. Yeah, I started at 18. That would have been like I would have been the next uh

Leo Do you think do you think so? Yeah, man. Do you think you would have been leo the next leo? Yeah Titanic 2 baby The boat comes back. No, no the whole movie is underwater, baby. Oh, that's tight. Yeah, I'm still living down there, baby Aquaman stuff. Yeah, I do. So you're you're living and breathing. I'm still I'm still you know, I mean you're jesus No, I'm in the front of the boat. You know, I mean I'm the king of the king of the world. I'm the king of the

Underworld underwater world Waterworld and then kevin costner is going to be there He'll be there too. He'll be there. Yeah. Yeah, and then josh jason mamoa Was he in underwater world? Well, he's the aquaman Oh, yeah, that's yeah Yeah, he's hot and then you know who else is going to be in my movie. Who else I'm going to have nemo The fish. Yeah, nice nemo spongebob. Oh, okay. Okay. It's a great. Who else titanic too, right? Um, who else is going to be there is uh, nemo spongebob. Yeah, bobby lee bobby lee. Well, do you get billed higher than those guys?

Or does spongebob get top billing? Spongebob goes first. So spongebob featuring spongebob. Well, it's it's it's three headline Oh, it goes spongebob nemo bobby lee right and also featuring kevin costner kevin costner Yeah, I mean as jason mamoa jason mamoa moa, right the little mermaid the priest from little mermaid who gets a bonus Yeah, and sabastian the crab. Yeah, and then And a special special appearance super special appearance john f kennedy jr

And jimmy hoffa and jimmy hoffa because they're both on the bottom of the ocean, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah together at last together at last In in titanic 2 And what's the subtitle fun fun water world funder water funder water that's it funder water funder water I love it. Did she get a role in the movie? No, no, well, she has to well she auditioned five times. She didn't get it We've been tested her. Oh, you did. Yeah, what do the audience think? Okay, well, they couldn't understand what she was saying. Yeah, what is the little brown girl saying? Yeah, I can't understand a word

She's saying is that dora? Is that dora the explorer now? Listen? I like Mexican stuff. Yeah. Yeah, like their food and their music But I just don't like it's like it's like an underwater apocalypse. I get it right right. There's a mine temple She's fucking killing lamb. How do the Mexicans get in now? Did they swim under the wall underwater? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I have a scene for you I'd like you to read a very famous movie called on the waterfront. Do you know what that is? You've never heard of it in your life. No, okay Bobby's gonna play opposite of you. Okay, so we're gonna see my line. Do I have lines? We're gonna put them up

Okay, good, but I want to see your acting ability. Okay, and I want you to take this. No, no, no, no Don't do that. Don't do that. No laughing. Don't do that. Please take it serious. Okay. Say I'll take it serious Hell yeah, and you don't you it's a scene from a movie. It's from on the waterfront Oh, we're doing three scenes But the first one we're doing is from on the water on the water because everybody wants to know if you truly do have what it takes I'm also scared because I've never seen the movie. You've never seen it. No, Brando's in it, right? This is gonna be good. Brando's in it, right? All right, so look so so Am I pooling my playing? Well

You've literally never seen this movie one time. No, do you have any reference to what it's about? I think it's by it's let me just guess. Let's have a guess. It's the docks It's about what do you mean? Oh about the docks the water docks. Yeah. Yeah, it's not really in the middle of the ocean the movie I just remember it being in the docks, you know Brando's in it and it's kind of black and white Yeah, and it's uh dreary Okay, is it dreary? Yeah, okay. Drury is good. Uh, so here's the deal I'm gonna read the the I'm gonna read the uh action. Yeah, who am I playing? Well, you're gonna be charlie And you're gonna be terry

Okay, rude Okay, and and I want you to take it serious. Do you need to take a beat? Do you need to step outside? No, that's what they say in rooms. Do you want to step outside? Okay? Charlie continues looking at him. He does not deny it They stare at each other for a moment. Then suddenly terry starts out of the cab Charlie pulls a pistol terry's motionless now looking at charlie Take the boss landing kid For god's sakes. I don't want to hurt you hush gently guiding the gun down toward charlie lap

charlie charlie Wow I wish I didn't have to do this terry terry eyes and beaten charlie's back and looks at terry strangely terry raises his hand above his head somewhat of the manner of a prize fighter Mitting the crowd the image nicks charlie's memory Wow What do you weigh these days slugger? eight seven eight eight eight what's it to you?

Gee when you tip 175 you're beautiful. You should have been another billy con What that skunk I got to manage you brought you along too fast It wasn't him. It was you charlie you and johnny like the night the two of you come into the dressing room and say Kid this isn't this ain't your night. We're going for the for the prize on wilson. It ain't my night I have taken wilson apart that night. I was ready. Remember the early rounds throwing them combinations So what happens? this He gets

The title shot outdoors in the ballpark and what do I get a couple of bucks in a one-way ticket to pal paluca bill paluca bill It was you charlie. You was my brother You should have looked out for me instead of making me take them dives for the shot short end money I always had a bet down for you. You saw some money see you don't understand. I try to keep you in good with johnny You don't understand. I could have been a contender I could have been I could have had class and been somebody real class instead of a bum

Let's face it. Which is what I am. It was you charlie Wow Oh my god I might need to go home. Oh my god. I might need to go home. Is there an oscar here if you have Well, we have a we have an andres. Oh, oh, yeah, we have an andres. Oh, you met the statue. Yeah Oh my god, that was that was incredible moving Rude. Yeah combination I mean, you know when people read that on the script, right? Yeah, you know as a regular actor or whatever

It's just an average actor. I would I would have read it combination. You read uh doing those one two combinations You know the great actors. Yeah, they take a word and they make it their own like a like a balloon animal Right, right like a balloon And you know, normally people would go, you know, how should I say this? Right combination, right? But and they they process it. She didn't process it. That's how fast it happened Instantaneous. Oh many nations. Oh many nations. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Oh my god. Rudy Jules Bueno, bueno, bueno, that's incredible. That's incredible. You're gonna be a superstar. Yeah. Yeah next scene Okay, you and I bob are gonna read a scene. Yeah, I want you and I to read a scene and it's from it's a great scene from

stepbrothers Which I really love. I haven't seen it Uh, they were at the door back house at night Dale and Brennan laying separate beds to each other You can pick whoever you want. I'll start with Dale then. Okay. Go ahead. Yeah. No, there's a lot of lines I'll be Brennan and remember this. I'll be Brennan. We're laying in separate beds in the middle of the night I'll be Brennan and this is more for me than it is for you. Okay. Go ahead. I'll be Brennan. Okay. Go ahead Hey You awake?

Yeah I just want you to know I hate you and so does my dad Well, that's fine because guess what? I hate you too And this house sucks ass Well, the only reason you're living here is because me and my dad decided that your mom was really hot And maybe we should both just bang her and we'll put up with the retard in the meantime Who's the retard? You. Hey, you don't say that Shut up

Shut up You wake up my dad and get me grounded. Just shut up. You and your mom are hillbillies This is the house of learned doctors. You're not a doctor and you're a big fat girly headed fuck. Oh, yeah Yeah, I'm a girly headed fuck. Yeah, and you better not go to sleep as soon as your eyes shut I'm gonna punch you square in the face I hope you stay still when you sleep because I'm putting a rat trap between your legs I'm gonna take a pillowcase and fill it with bats bars of soap and beat the shit out of you I want you out of my fucking way

Zimbosavazi, this is my house now Kimo Savi. Oh, I couldn't read Dude, I can't read my my eyes ID glasses That's good. Yeah. Yeah pretty good. I like that scene pretty good I like that scene jewels now though. Yeah, we have one more with jewels. Yeah, that was really for me and you There's another scene one This is the big Lebowski. This one is this is great This is awesome. So I want I I'm gonna be okay. Yeah, you you do the lines now. I already did it

So I'm gonna do it with Rudy. Yeah, but I want you to be um Smoky smoky is gonna come up at the end of this scene. Okay, and it's two lines. All right so, um She should play she should play walter. No because I want her to get intense I want to feel her because because we saw the intensity. Oh, no, you're right We saw intensity out of on the waterfront. Should we see her play the dude a stoner stoner or intense? Yeah, so the dude is a stoner. Yeah, you know a stoner. He smokes a lot of weed He's a man in his probably mid 40s late late 40s

Yeah, who lives in in in Los Angeles and can't get his life. He wears like he he goes to the grocery store where he's like bathroom You know with sunglasses. This is you Yeah, yeah, you're playing me. Yeah, and and and the other guys of vietnam that yeah, he's like, hey, dude I think you're gonna do it. You're gonna do it. All right, so you're playing the dude You're a pothead and I'm gonna be walter and we'll depending on how it goes. We can swap. We can switch it around Are you ready? Ready? I'll let I'll do stage stage stage direction He lets a small yapping dog out of the carrier. It's scoots around the bowling table sniffing and bowl at bowlers and wagging its tail Hey, man

If my fucking ex-wife asked me to take care of her fucking dog While she and her boyfriend went to Honolulu. I tell her to go fuck herself. Why can't she board it? First of all, dude You don't have an axe. Secondly, it's a fucking show dog with papers. You can't board it. It gets upset. It's hair falls out Hey, man, fucking dog has papers, dude over the line Smoky, huh? That's that's you that's you your stage direction. Oh, yeah smoky turns. Let's start it again. Let's try it again And let me say let me say something. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We're gonna. You know, we're gonna give you a no Right. You're rushing through the line

Right more weed more weed. You're high. Let it settle in If you fuck ex-wife, ah, you know what I mean? Nice and slow. You don't have to rush through it's not a fucking contest This isn't anime. This isn't anime. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There is no wrapping scenes of shooting lights and then yeah Yeah, yeah. All right. You ready? Okay. Okay. Really stoned your stump. Keep your eyes low, too Yeah, though there it is perfect. Okay. Go ahead. Go ahead. Oh, he lets a small yapping dog out of the carrier It scoots around the bowling table sniffing at boulders and wagging its tail Hey, man

Come on stop do the line again ready one two action Hey, man, if I'm a fucking ex-wife ask me to take her over fucking dog Will she and her boyfriend went to Honolulu? You're doing with stop. Stop. Stop. It's way too fast Slow You read the line first the first line was perfect. Yeah, you keep that And that's what you keep. Okay. Do you want me to do a reading for you? Yeah. Yeah, listen how this sounds. Okay Hey, man If my fucking ex-wife asked me to take care of her fucking dog while she and her boyfriend went to Honolulu

I'd tell her go fuck her so why can't she board it? See what I mean? Nice and slow Right and action Hey, man, if my fucking ex-wife asked me to take care of her fucking dog Well, she and her boyfriend went to Honolulu. I tell her to fuck herself. Why can't she board it first of all, dude You don't have an x secondly. It's a fucking show dog with fucking papers. You can't board it. It gets upset its hair falls out Hey, fucking dog has papers dude over the line

Smokey turns from his last row to look at walter It's you smokey, huh? You again over the line smokey. I'm sorry. That's a foul That's you that's you you're smoking bullshit. Hey, dude. Excuse me market zero next frame Bullshit walter. This is not numb. This is bowling. There are rules come on walter. It's just it's smoky So it's toe slip over a little it's just a game. This is a league game. This determines who enters the next round robin. Am I wrong? Yeah, but am I wrong? Yeah, but I wasn't over give me the marker dude. I'm marking it on eight smoky my friend. You're entering a world of pain Hey, walter mark that frame eight dude. You're entering a world of pain

I'm not a world of pain Look, dude. I don't hold with this This guy is your partner. You should has the whole world gone crazy. Am I the only one here who gives a shit about the rules? market zero Very good. Very good. I think I think uh, they might do remakes one day I think you have I think you have a future in the biz But if there's anybody out there listening if you guys are acting coaches with any acclaim Yeah, how about give her some free acting lessons?

But I think but I honestly think that she should take some sort of improv class to get You know like a ucb or something or something like that like, you know, you know, I have a friend named colton. You know colton done Yeah, he's a he's an actor now. He's a big guy. He's on uh superstar, but um He's an actor and it's a very funny uh improv Well, he was a writer at mad tv for years. Was he a stand-up at some point too? No No, but he also taught at ucb. He's a really talented guy But like I would like somebody like that to teach a class and have you know her enter it so that she can um Because she you know

She's shy. Yeah, you know, so it'll get her out of herself. She's broken. She's broken open on this show I think she has you know Coltons could probably got the best job on superstore. He's paralyzed. So he just has to sit in a chair all day There's no standing at all. Yeah, what a great gig. It's a great gig. I want to be paralyzed in my next role I want to be in a coma That's what eric riffin says all the time. Really? He wants to be he says his next show. He wants to be a um He wants to be a detective a mental detective who gives Clues to people from a coma so they just walk up to him and touch his chest and it transfers date

You know transfers information to them so they know Oh, I better yet. How about this better yet better yet? Yeah, you I I mean, I'm a character that died I'm in a casket. Yeah, but for all five seasons. Yeah, right and eventually like my character gets so popular that I eventually go Yeah, just put a um a dummy in there You have a double for your cast. Yeah. Yeah, because he doesn't move. Anyway, I don't want to wake up like, you know You know, I love star trek next generation. Here's what they do. They cut to you. Yeah, and it's just your voice over So you just have to record from home. That's right. So it's just speaking through your

Telepathy. Yeah, that's genius. That's genius and you do what like, you know Once a week. Yep, you wake up. You just do you don't even give a fuck scan through it. Yeah, you scan through it You just cut you're in bed still you do it on your iPhone Right fucking 50 grand How great would that be? I mean that's kind of like what uh, what's it? What's his name? Uh, uh Wheel of fortune. What's his name? I kind of think of his name Uh, Pat Sajak, you know, they record for like four months and then he just disappears So four months he works like every day and then for the rest of the year. He literally just goes and goes on vacation

Four months, that's it. You're like, boop done. I'm done. I have a pleasure for you. Yeah Because you know who Eric Olson is I don't I don't know. He's on NCIS Los Angeles, but he was also, you know, he he played Jim Carrey in Dumb and Dumberer Yes, I know he is. He's a great guy. Him and Matt Damon, right? Matt Damon, was he the other guy in Dumb and Dumberer? No, not Dumb and Dumberer. They were in another stuck to you That was Matt Damon's Yeah, but I don't think it's Eric Olson. I don't really know. You don't know what you're saying Yeah, I have no idea what I'm talking about. Yeah, but Eric Olson, okay

Why would you add that my brain isn't working what what I was like So Eric Olson, I was doing NCIS and you know, he was saying that he was doing community He was on community guest starring. Oh, yeah And he was doing a scene with Chevy Chase. He he he pissed Chevy Chase off Dude, I've heard he gets and Chevy Chase grabbed him by the neck and like try to pull him off You know, I mean like up the wall. Yeah. Yeah, if you if an actor like Chevy Chase hit you in the face Or strangled you on set. What would you do fight back as hard as like I beat the shit out of Chevy Chase on set I'd kill him. I would actually know you wouldn't if you put his hands on me. I'd hurt him immediately

I wouldn't even think I wouldn't even think twice I don't but you have the tractor. Everyone's laying around sitting here. Really put his hands on me I punch him in the fucking head. Okay. What if it was that would put Chevy Chase in a coma? What if it was a Let's see you're doing a movie. Okay, the biggest movie of your life. You're doing a movie with the batman I'm the new Robert Pattinson got COVID and they wanted me and I'm the batman. No, you're more like the robin The you're the robin. I get it. Okay. You're right. The robin, right? Yeah, and they get um Scorsese to direct it. Okay. Okay, and you're You know who's the nemesis?

Bane they get Tom Hardy to redo his In bane kind of hard to not want to make out with him when I see him in scenes, right? So you're in doing a scene. Yeah, and it's a scene where bane is grabbing robin by the neck Pulling up, right? So he's doing it. Yeah, right. You're in the scene Scorsese goes cut But you're still up there. Yeah, and he squeezes harder and harder and harder because he's so into the character Uh-huh, right? You can't breathe at this point. Yeah, I'm dying. You're dying almost turning. You're like stop. Stop man. See us over, right? I don't know how he sounds. Well, you know, and then um

Yeah, so what what would you do? Honestly, I think Tom Hardy's very attractive. So I'd probably let him kill me. No, really? But what would you do? Yeah, yeah, I would take it. You suckers dick I just let myself upside down. I mean we're 69 each other. No, what would I do if Tom? Yeah, no, no, no, no No, no, no. Would you suckers dick? No, what would I do if you were choking me up against the wall? Yeah, honestly. Yeah, you would for me. Yeah. No Absolutely

Yeah, no way No, but if I was at a party though. Yeah, no, I'm being real. You would if I was using If I was using let's okay. Let's go back on sober. I'm still smoking weed. I'm drunk, right? Yeah And I'm a party and I see fucking Keanu was there. Keanu's there Charlize Theron's there. Everyone's there. They're all doing coke. They're all doing everyone's doing it, right? What's up, Bob? Right? I was doing it and Tommy said, what's up? Hello, Mike. Now. What's up, man? I love big fan. You know, come over here. There's some cocaine around Hey, Bobby, you want to come over and do cocaine? Yeah, so I do cocaine one of them

He's sober too, but let's see he relapsed And then he's just like, um, all right. Here's a straw and as I grab the straw, right as I grab the straw I realize it's his penis All right It's his penis, right? Yeah, and I'm and at this point What do I do? I go aim your normal guy would be amen. That's a good trade. That's your dick, man. Come on. Yeah, not me I would probably, you know, it's add information Mm-hmm, right. It's always a yes hand. It's a yes hand, right? I can't deny it, right? So I would go

And I would suck it I would suck it so hard and he's like, dude, it was just a joke, right? Me too. Me too. Yeah You know how funny it would be, you know, if I got if Tom already put his penis there And I would just nuzzle it with my nose Oh, you would ask him or kiss him? I would ask him or kiss it. Yeah. And then flick is nuzzle. Yeah He's no if Tom Hardy if someone was in a scene doing that because I've seen that kind of stuff I thought this is really weird. You say that because I literally thought of that Uh

Before we came today because I was watching some of these scenes while I was getting some of these scripts and uh Uh, there's a scene where, um Finkel is Einhorn. Einhorn and his finkel from Ace Ventura where he proves that she's a man Oh, yeah, yeah, and and he goes would a man have these and he exposes her breasts and he goes But what about this? He also pulls on her hair so fucking hard. He's like it's a wig Dude, when you see it, I have to bring it up when you see how hard he pulls like you're talking about Yeah, you know sometimes when you're acting with somebody. Oh, yeah, like I've gotten I've had to do like fight scenes and stuff like that

Yeah, you it it sucks. I did that to Daniel Gather. What did you do? So we were doing a war in the movie the movie warriors. Yeah, we were doing a warrior scene I'm listening. I'm just gonna bring this up and I had a scene where I was playing a character. I do call the blind kung fu master Yeah, I do a character. I'm called the blind kung fu master. Yeah, and you mean I'm like And this is you're not your real hair, right? And I grab her head Right, and I think it's um her real hair. It's not a wig It's it is a wig, but I think you've got a real hair underneath. I think it's her real hair

But I grab it. I realize oh, it's her a wig. I'm gonna I think it'd be funny if I just pull it off Right in front of an audience, right? But the wig is attached to um, your real hair bobby bobby hair She put about a bunch of bobby pins. That's how they attach, right? Yeah, and I say I pull it clumps of her hair Come out and I could see a bald spot with blood And she said what you're fucking doing man, you know, and she's like freaking the fuck out. Yeah, and I was like, oh my god It hurts so much. Oh my god. I did that for real. I've had people pull on it I've had people pull on a wig when I'm and I'm dying up here

I had people pull on it. They sew it into your hair and they blew it to your face. They do. Yeah, it rips It hurts so bad. Yeah, it so look at this scene. That's funny. Look at this scene You can't tell me that this isn't Uh, that this didn't hurt. There's no way that this didn't hurt because it looks too real Oh here. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Let's just see who's lying, shall we? Would a real woman have to wear one of these? Boy, that's really on there There's no way that didn't hurt her head, especially when he puts his other hand on it. Yeah. Yeah

That But you know what? You know what? She could have bro. She could have like they could have rehearsed that That looks pretty good. Yeah, she could have got I'm just gonna go back. But don't really pull it. Um You this is either a good camera work or great acting because I have to wear one of these Oh, that's for that pretty hard. Yeah Yeah I don't know that looks like by the way tone look one of the greatest

Underrated actor one of the one of the greatest not only actors but musicians and also personalities. Yeah, I forgot He was in this until I feel skinny is I mean, he was a tiny guy when he did this and Courtney Cox super young I forgot how many people were in this movie Dude that movie this movie Ace Ventura was changed changed me my life When I went I remember going to the theater watching it. Me too. It changed me. This is why you know, he's Undeniably why I became a comedian. Yeah. Yeah, and then you became friends with him Uh, he was my boss. I wouldn't say friends. I'd say he's my boss. He was a great boss But honestly him him him this whole movie talking out of your butthole

I mean, I remember laughing so hard. It hurt my body hurt But I think dumb and dumber still the deal for me. Oh, it's the better of the movies. Yes It was so funny because it's joke joke per minute is just like about out a lot Check into the crazy house Right that was phenomenal the guano scene with the bat shit. I want to ask you this Everyone loves the slang key. I mean, I've always wanted to ask you this. Yeah What's your top five movies? I know I know I hate top ten list, you know Do it on the internet, but I don't know that about you comedy because when you said um that um

What album did you see you liked? Okay, computer. Okay computer. It freaked me that freaked me out Why cuz you just didn't think I think that you're more of a greedy kind of oh shut up now You're you're baby. No, I'm not being I just think that you like corn or creed that type of sky First of all those two things have nothing to do corn and creed or not, but either one you know, I mean Not being real. I think you know how much I love first of all, you know how much I love hip-hop That's crazy to me. Oh I loved it. I like it's crazy. I used to I used to rap when I was young that's crazy top five movies

Across the board that you would you can you looked at me right? I'm a guy comedy anything. No anything. I'm a guy Yeah, I'm an alien. Yeah, right. Hello. Hi. I would like you I I've heard this Stephen Hawking or you an alien. I'm Stephen Hawking So what um You know, I don't know what film is could tell me I don't have a lot of time Okay, I have you know only three days here and I want to watch five movies Give me the five movies that would best represent cinema Cinema or just movies in general god Casino

The Princess Bride. Oh great big Wow I'm doing another Tom Hanks. Oh my god. There's like three everything. He's ever done I think catch me if you can as one of the greatest movies of all time. Uh-huh great story, but it's based on something real. Yeah And I gotta give you some history. I can't if I'm gonna you got to do something like another Tom Hanks Wow saving priority. Yeah, I was gonna go. I would go with Platoon wait, I said big I said big you want me to give you no films. No, no, no, no I said big Schindler's list. Maybe that's the one Schindler's he's in that right? He's Schindler. No Tom Hanks is not No for scump, I mean, dude, he's made how many no, but but getting away from you seriously

Based on the five casino Princess Bride big Bronx tail Wow and Cuz so many movies it's hard to like re-categorize and then probably And I would say Star Wars and that's not because I'm a big Star Wars fan That's because what it did to movies its cultural it changed the world cultural phenomena a change But it still does. Yeah, you're like a you are a creed corn guy. Why he's a star. I listed great films You're creating corn guy, and I'm trying to be kind to you. I love you I don't like any of those bands. I don't like either those bands

They're interesting choices and you can't compare music to movies. You're right. Okay. Here you go. I just came down from space What are your five favorite films that would depict cinema? I don't have a lot of time here on Debbie does Dallas Debbie does Dallas. Yeah, okay. What else? Probably something off of Pornhub My top five. I don't have much time. All right. So, um, I would have to go I Would probably do a Western So I would probably do blazing saddles. No Sergio Leone's the good the bad and the ugly great movie. It's a great movie Yeah, it's a great movie. It just shows you, you know that era. I don't have much time Okay, number two. I would have to do go a curacao film for sure. Okay, don't roll your eyes

No, it's fucking dumb that you just did that. I recommend me a day. He's an alien He's an alien that what he wants to know about the world gonna suggest infinite jest to me next as a book Whoa, dude, I'll rip your fucking you're basic. You're basic. You're basic. What corner album do you like? I don't know I don't know corn. All right, go ahead. Go ahead a curacao. Can I do my fucking thing? Yes, I'll probably do um I'll probably do Ron Ron, yeah, it's a curacao phone punches. Yeah. No, Ron. It's called Ron Alright, and and it's um, it's it's a colored movies. I think don't have much time. Okay, number three. I would go um, I Would have to do it's hard see apocalypse now

Okay It's a war movie. I haven't done a war movie yet. You're right. It's a war movie. I need one in there Yeah, it's also it's got some fantasy in it too a little bit. Mm-hmm. You know, it's just it. Yeah, I like it Okay, that's four. Yes. That's three. Oh, what? Yeah. Yeah, curacao a curacao a good good badly ugly And also apocalypse now Okay, number four would have to be Our spaceship is warming

You know, I would do something a comet and what comedy you know, I would you have to have a comedy in there Yeah, I would probably do this is gonna be sound so stupid. You're gonna hate this Yeah, but it's cuz it's a little artsy. I just really think it's funny and cute, but um, I Would do The Royal Ten of Moms Okay, the Royal Ten of Moms. I like that's not a traditional comedy. Yeah, it's good. Yeah, it's good. You would pick big Big is unequivocally one of the one of the most fantasy slash reality well-written

It doesn't make any sense big a Fortune-teller machine turned him into a fucking kid or an adult. What the fuck is this? Perhaps it was a metaphor Do you think that deeply? Anyway, can I do my fifth? Yeah, please fucking asshole big is a phenomenal movie front to back upside down some of the grass Great some of the most comedically hilarious scenes Tom Hanks has ever done give me the ball Baskin He gets into a fist fight over a handball so funny It's it that movie is so good the piano scene in FAO Schwartz like one of the most iconic scenes in film history That's an iconic scene film

Andres who went to film school is the FAO Schwartz scene from big one of the most iconic scenes in film history It's that one known scene. Yeah, they're not iconic. It is iconic. Okay, Andreas based on what? Oh, come in Andreas based on fucking but based on the movies. We just suggested Andreas, right? What would they teach in film school? Oh, that's that's not what we're going for. Yeah So what am I fighting? Yeah So he knows right I just wanted I just want to I'm curious I'm curious. Go ahead Andreas. They're pretentious assholes in film school. First of all, I know I'm pretentious. They are aren't they Andres?

They are. Yeah, it's just in terms of film school. Let him answer. He was just gonna say something. Kurosawa might be in there Yeah, yeah, it would would honestly Andreas listen to me right now Okay, of course Penny Marshall films aren't gonna be in film school would big be in film school Would they even say the movie? Probably not. Okay. No, thank you But you didn't say you didn't say what movies? Can I do my first would be in film school? I'm giving an alien what I think is dope. Yeah Yeah, the fifth was gonna drive you crazy. Yeah, I know. Yeah, I will royal 10 and bombs by the way You're a comedian and you think that's that's the comedy you'd give them. Yeah, because it's

Okay, I would probably do Paris, Texas as my fit Would they teach that in film school probably yeah, yeah pretentious Anyway corn What else do you want? It's so funny that you pretend like you like high-end stuff But you're the most low-end boogered person on earth I really know and also you yelled at me you just yelled at me way louder than I ever yell at you and what and you said last week About what take a poll over who yells first. Do you remember that? Oh, yeah. Yeah, we did. Okay. Yeah, we did Twitter responded Let's take a look at what this says Bob. Can you read that? Yeah, Rudy?

Why don't you tell me what this says just read that out loud the fans can see it, but go ahead and tell me what it says there Rude Tita Bobby has 60 hold on. Hold on. Sorry. There you go. What does it say Tita Bobby has 60 point five percent? And Andrew has thirty nine point five wow the final results are in wow that's 200 votes It's betrayal. No, no, it's fact you yell first. It's betrayal from the audience. How they just know they don't know You know, they do know, you know, it really sad It really is I think you've skewed this fucking this yeah, I think the fans now I can see it You know, I've cracked open the not blind. I'm not blind and I'm not dumb Internet and I read things one of everything one of two. All right. Well, then because of my is that an eye joke?

No, it's my slanny eyes. No, it's a dumb joke. Okay, you're dumb But I think that you've skewed the audience into your favor And it was a little bit of a slanny eye joke. Yeah, I know it was no it was not so I do raise my voice first You always do You do and and and you put it on me as if I do And Andres is laughing. I do a lot of things like that. I do reverse, you know, reverse psychology I do a lot of that. You're extremely manipulative. I'm very manipulative in your good. Yeah, I'm like, you know what you can do You were late today again

And that's okay, and I don't mind it because I prepped for it. I know it's coming, but if I'm late once Who throws a fit? Yeah, I know me. Yeah, you're right. You're right bad bad bad bad bad. Yeah, I'm a bad guy. No, no, no I mean, I do things but that Recognize that if we had a tally board of who's late I'd have one tally And you'd be a tally my neck hurts so bad right now. Why would have it's stressing me out. Oh, I'm sorry Don't know no stress. No stress. That's fine. No, I'll have a stroke in front of you. That'd be great

I'll do a full-blown stroke in front of you. It's fine. I think in fact that would be If I was gonna have a stroke I would what happened in front of you Is that how you want to die a stroke? No, but I just think I because it's just a part of my family history But um, who had a stroke in your family my dad, but am I am my grandfather? No, he didn't He didn't die cancer. Oh Stroke but with a stroke was from some didn't he have anything wrong inside of him Yeah, he couldn't walk because of the stroke, but I thought he was deteriorating because of something inside He didn't have please please. No, I'm not joking. Whatever you're doing right now. Dude is a really hurtful

I'm saying I didn't one of you listen then did he have something? No, he had a stroke So the stroke is the only thing that killed him. He was well There's complication. There's complications after a stroke. Yeah, so but he didn't have anything else Otherwise no pre-existing conditions of health like AIDS yet AIDS. Okay, that that's what I'm talking about No, my dad died from a stroke He died and because of the complications of a stroke because he lived through the stroke Yeah, my all my grandparents were all paralyzed from the neck down from fucking strokes. I had a I had my I

Didn't tell you it's a fucked up story. I'm ready Did I tell you about the When my dad discovered marks on my grandmother's body? No, no, I don't think so so my grandmother I'm fucking sweating right now wait what so my grandmother lived in Korea She was paralyzed from the neck down from a stroke for like 25 years. Oh my they never left. She never left the living room of this like I Imagine this old Korean house with paper walls. We're in it. Okay

Thank you. And she would just sit there on this like kind of colorful pad Up against a you know a wall. Uh-huh and she just sit there cuz she couldn't move So she would sit on the floor and lean against the wall. Yeah, but she was always be smiling, you know, I mean and one day my dad Discovers welts all over her body. Oh, no, right? He goes, hey, why are you grandma have worked? I mean we go. We don't know Dude, why are you are you beating here with her? Why she bleeding? Oh, he thinks you're you're beating and they were like what? Yeah, we don't what the fuck you're right. Yeah, so like two days later. He walks in the room and my brother and I have sticks, sticks, sticks. What? You're hitting her?

Why? Because you couldn't feel it. Bob! And she would just sit there and smile, right? So we would hit her with sticks, yeah You are awful. I know we're awful. I have so many stories like that are so fucking weird No, never in the face. It shows on the face. You're right. How could you go to work? You have to explain it, right? Yeah, yeah, you can't do it on the face. That's insane. It's insane. You hit your grandma Yeah, but anyway, I remember getting in so much trouble. Yeah, that makes a lot of sense for hitting your Why are you lying? I got you! Saw you guys doing it. Oh, yeah, you convinced Steve. Poor Steve probably didn't want to do it. No, Steve used to go to We'd go to a McDonald's and even as a three-four-year-old five-year-old could wait as soon as he could speak, right?

He would literally walk up to a fat person and go, Yep, you're bad And just walk away Like he had one of those like he's one of those kids that like just didn't have no filter. Yeah You you know, you walk funny and then just walk away like he was a fucking asshole And then we had to teach him not to kids do that kids say think they don't know any better And they just say what they're feeling right away. Right. There's no filter. Yeah He's my brother's been doing that all his life, though

And then we had to teach him not to do it. Well, yeah, I mean completely like I told I told this I used to tell a joke about this a kid when I we were playing bass I'd really I like horrifically bad acne and we were playing basketball and it's even worse when I'm like in season I was sweating and a little black kid in West Aurora at this high school He came up to me in the hallway when I was having a drink of water And he was like, man, you pretty good for a white boy. Oh, thanks And I thought he was like a sweet little kid like a little tiny kid I don't even know how old he had it been maybe six seven. I have no idea

Yeah, and as he's walking away. He goes, hey white boy, and I turn and he's smiling already and he goes What's all over your face? Yeah, yeah, I mean it like broke my soul. What was it pimples, Bob? Oh Really? Yeah, I had such bad acne. He was a what's all over your face. I Said this is part of the joke. Yeah. Yeah, I said this is what happens when your dad sticks around No, he no, but it really hurt my feelings when I was a kid it hurt my feelings so much. Yeah, this little confident little tiny kid And I'm a teenager in high school. Yeah, what's all over your face? It hurt Unbelievable like oh god, I was soul acne. I was acne ridden myself. You had it bad

Did you ever go on the stuff? No, Accutane. I did it. I took it even in my early 20s I remember like my friends took it four times really and that stuff like killed people really active Accutane. Oh my god. Yeah, people committed suicide on it and they wouldn't they got sued. It was crazy Yeah, I would just go go to work at like I would work at this coffee shop called the Panic and in La Jolla Uh-huh, and I would just have fucking zits and boils all over my face. Yeah, because I had no fucking money Dude, I had so stressed out you well and had no soap. I had no money I had nothing and it's and you can't take care of it. Yeah, I Accutane, I didn't have I've never seen a doctor back that time. I didn't have a dentist

I'm all my teeth are gone because I was so poor for so long. What do you mean? All your teeth are still in your mouth? No, they're not smile. No, I can't smile for me. You know about my teeth. Yeah, but you your teeth are fine The teeth that you're seeing now. I know that yeah, yeah, are the only ones that are there. Yeah, that's a remnants That's the left. Have you seen back here the back? I've never seen. I'll show you. Yeah, let me see but don't get too close. Oh Wow, they're all gone. They had left town Bye-bye. Bye. Yeah. Yeah, I mean I've got this is you can't see but my teeth were so bad All I've got from from here from the canines all the way back What do you call them crowns and no crown? Yeah, that's all fake. No bad. Yeah, nothing back here is real

In fact one time my dentist said to me He goes look dude, this is getting bad like he's I have to keep fixing stuff because you said bad teeth And I was like, well, I don't even eat sugar. I'm not like a dessert. I don't do any that. He goes nothing to do with that That's a lie. It's a rumor. It's hereditary. He's like you either have bad teeth You don't some people have better teeth some people never get cavities. Yeah, he was just get veneers And I said, I don't know what I don't know what that is. I don't know anything about him He showed me pictures of veneers like if they're done, right, they're good. Yeah, but I scary because if you get the bad ones if you get the bad ones you look like Matt Dillon from

From What is it called? What's the Cameron Diaz movie as something about Mary? Yeah, I mean if you get bad veneers You end up having these teeth the Matt Dillon and this is all this I always think of this Whenever went like I always think about this movie whenever I think about veneers. Yeah, I love that movie so good I love that movie. You know the cum was real in her hair Ben Stiller was like, I won't know. He didn't want to do it unless it was real. That's not true. Yes, it is He's a method guy. He goes. I don't I won't tell you what I did to him. What?

So he liked this open micro Yeah, like had a crush on her at the comedy store. Yeah, but I can't say her name, but um, no, he would come Just to see her Wow, and then he kind of knew that I was like a regular or whatever and then So I don't know why I did this but one day, you know, I mean, I wanted to wrestle him You wanted to wrestle Matt Dylan. Yeah. Yeah, why I don't understand. You were just in one of your moods Yeah, you know how I do it. Yeah, yeah, I kind of kind of guy. He's like get off me, man It's a kind of laughing. Yeah, but then like he started walking and I clung onto his legs You got on the ground. No, he was like I was on his legs

Like yeah, and he's trying to walk, right? You just get off me and then he snapped. Oh, yeah, just get off me And I never saw him again You know, I never saw him there again, you know, I mean, there's always those like a little weird thing He decided in your mind your mind like why did I do that? Yeah, why would you do that make that choice? It's a really bad idea. Yeah, it was a bad idea. It's a bold leap, but you have to try Right, we all have to try we all take shots. Yeah, so you're not you you're not old enough to you're about to experience these things in your 20s Oh You're about to experience nightmarish social situations. Yeah, get ready where you go. Where you go. Why did I do that?

You know, I mean forget combination on the way you said that right? I mean, it's gonna get it's gonna get way worse way worse when you start going to bars and meeting guys and You start going out in the workforce, you know People are gonna be so on awkward to you too, especially now that you're a superstar on the internet I want to show you a little gift that was given to me some information that I think you'll really enjoy honestly This is really positive stuff So let's take a look at this little news report that just came out moving on to a different story now The average head site of Koreans has been supposedly growing and growing over the past four decades a group of researchers from a renowned local University claims

To have evidence to prove this phenomenon is real Kim Dami shed slide on how and why this might be happening. It's getting bigger Thanks to a better quality of life and proper nutrition Koreans are getting taller and bigger and so is their head size researchers at Korea University College of Medicine ran magnetic resonance imaging scans on 115 Koreans born in the 1930s and 1970s and reconstructed their craniums into three-dimensional images So you guys are so advanced you've sped up To four decades what we took us two centuries you're six percent. That's incredible in two in four decades. Are you doing this?

honestly, what No, listen in four decades. Are you doing you're calling your mom? Are you calling me a mongoloid? No, I'm just saying this is how this is not a slam or oh, this is positive It's positive Koreans obviously are more advanced than us their heads are growing editing at a beautiful rate the bigger the head the better So your head they said in the rest of this. I don't want I can't play the whole clip It's not that entertaining but they said Your head right now as a Korean man will grow before your death two to three times the size of an average Western American I just wish that like there are other things that grew as well

Like your nose or your ears dick You're you had that shot and it stopped No, what I'm saying is is that why does it have to be the head? Oh, what is that? Why does I can't everything grow? Proportionately to everything else. Well, it sometimes does for some in this situation. It seems like the head is growing Yeah, it's the only thing that's growing. It's getting out of control. Well, cuz look I mean what we're big headed people You're a little too and you are and why is that even a slam? Why would that's not even another slam? Yeah, I just wanted to show you this But if you were like, you know at a bar and you walked up to get you big-headed lug

That would like people would be like would you call me? It just makes me laugh to think if one day you do have kids and 40 years from now if they get another 6% increase how big your hit your child's head would be Hmm. I mean it would be very very very large You already have a large dome Can you wait what you're saying to me now is what that if you saw me we didn't know each other Yeah, and we were at let's say Wings some sort of a wing place Buffalo Wild Wings

Beed up. Yeah, I'm at a table. I'm having a beer watching right and you know, let's go. Let's go tackle them Hey, man, keep it down. Jesus Christ your head is big Is that what you would think No, honestly, no, I'd go. Hey, man. What's up? I turn to my friend. I go look at this big-headed No, but no, but honestly is that gonna be something that you would think about sitting down your head doesn't look big But standing up it does. Oh, it's so so what you're saying is that I'm like a fucking wobbly head I'm a bobble-headed guy. You're like a very big head. You don't have a very big head, but it's big It's big. It's big proportion to your body. Mmm. Jules is tiny. She has a small because she's a tiny girl

Yeah, yeah, tiny body. Yeah, I mean is Tito's head big? Yeah, yeah, okay Okay Okay, you be mad at her now. I'm a little mad. All right. You don't think about yeah, okay? Oh, man You should I mean, thank you for playing but also you're in trouble. Thank you for playing, but you're also in trouble So, um, I you know, I'm so glad that we did this voyage together. Oh, this is you were done with a voyage Yeah, this is the end but don't you think you need to carry the voyage? No, no I think I realized that you know, cuz we know I we talked about this guy

Yes on Instagram, and I realized that I don't give a fucking now. I'm just gonna be myself That's what I like. Yeah, because you know, I don't give a fuck. Well, you have to be you It doesn't even matter. We have to be us. It's gonna be me and I'm just gonna do it. Look at me. Yeah, I love I hate you You that's how I'm trying to be myself. Honestly. Yeah, thank you for being a bad friend