Bad Friends - Bobo's Pandy Conspiracy Theory

Episode Date: May 18, 2020

Bobo gets denied at a restaurant. Both Boys get the cut from major movies. Rudy loves the techno fart remix. Thank you: http://bluechew.com code: badfriends & http://meundies.com/badfriends & http://buyraycon.com/badfriends Watch on YouTube: http://bit.ly/BadFriendsYouTube More Bobby Lee TigerBelly: https://www.youtube.com/tigerbelly Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bobbyleelive/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/bobbyleelive Tickets: https://bobbyleelive.com/ More Andrew Santino Whiskey Ginger: https://www.youtube.com/andrewsantinowhiskeyginger Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino/ Twitter: https://Twitter.com/cheetosantino Tickets: http://www.andrewsantino.com/ More Bad Friends iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-friends/id1496265971 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/badfriendspod/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/badfriends_pod Official Website: http://badfriendspod.com/ Opening Credits and Branding: https://www.instagram.com/joseph_faria & https://www.instagram.com/jenna_sunday Credit Sequence Music: http://bit.ly/RocomMusic // https://www.instagram.com/rocom Character Design: https://www.instagram.com/jeffreymyles Produced by George Kimmel & Bryce Hallock - 7EQUIS Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Anchor if you haven't heard about anchor. It's the easiest way to make a podcast Let me explain. Oh, please. It's free. Awesome. That's cool These are there are creation tools that allow you to record and edit your podcast right from your phone or your computer You do it from your phone like on the go. Oh my god That's cool the bus or the subway you can do it. That's cool Anchor will distribute your podcast for you so it can be heard on Spotify Apple podcast and many many many many many more. Go ahead You can make money from your podcast too. No minimum listenership. How about that? You can make money with no minimum listenership It's everything you need to make a podcast all in one place. Where do we have to go Bob?

Download the free anchor app or go to anchor.fm to get started. You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots? White people and an Asian dude. You two are disgusting. You two are something. We're bad friends. Can I play you a song to start the show? Why? I want to play you a song You can do whatever you want. It's your show, baby. Oh Boy, it's your you make all the decisions. I'm gonna do this. I'm gonna do that I'm gonna come up with these little games that we do call-ins and these little sketchy sketch things and when it I'm gonna choose the bad friends colors and the background and I'm gonna change I'm gonna do the art direction. Can you imagine and then and then Bob you just show up, okay?

So why do you even ask me? I Mean it's see what I mean. There we go. Yeah, it's another thing about my flat face or nope. Okay that Did you sing it? Okay, it's a remix from last week's episode That It's really good. I don't have enough problems. That's really good. I don't have enough problems Oh kid fucked that's such a fun song that some guy did rude. Do you like it? Yeah?

Yeah, you do cuz I'm gonna say this you fucking live in my house rent-free, baby And you pay her and I pay you and I feed you all right? So how about what time you're fucking how about what time you're fucking side with me? Oh pop I said angry Shout out to my friend Rami and Branson and Frankie they live in Georgia. We play war zone together Shout out to you guys. We took number one one time during the week. What's up, babies? It's shout out to my Georgia fucking war zone buddies on on online. What's up, babies? Yeah, what's up, baby? Yeah You know the thing is which the thing is is that? Is is that is is that I love that song

I've been trying to get you to play war zone, but now you won't play because of the fact that um Fatty Eric Griffin put posted online. I don't want to be on YouTube. Yeah, we're not gonna put because I'm not that good When we play we're not gonna go online. So will you promise me this you play tonight? Yeah No, I promise me this that you play tonight or no, I can't play tonight. Why? Because I have a thing what thing it's date night tonight Midnight I'm asking

We're supposed to be fucking them. Oh So you fuck every Friday night. No, no, well, we fuck a lot of nights But I'm saying we do it because the pandemic has kept us in the house and we don't like have any normal lives We've been doing date night once or twice a week Hmm, so we arrange a nice night to get dressed up to make a nice dinner to like like not just do the like to TV sit Around fuck off thing. Well, what about then Saturday night war zone, baby? Okay Saturday night. I'll play it's at midnight Whenever whatever time you want to play or but if you're not on dude, I'm done with this podcast great. Okay Oh, don't roll your eyes because I'm being real stupid stupid thread because I've been asking if you all week and I get hurt

I tell all everybody you get hurt I heard but you sit there with Eric Griffin chumming around with we go go in here Bobby Here we go. We'll go go get the money Bobby. Hey, Bobby. He's leading you around that game and you're letting him do it It's making me sick. It's making me sick. I know I understand that I don't like what he does I don't like it. I don't like it either, but the thing Bobby we got to go over here to get this day cash drop Yeah, I don't like it. Oh put it in the box and make it a balloon go how the balloon go up I don't like it. I don't like it either and then he puts it on YouTube asking you to play I will we can weed him out. He's gonna get so mad when you know, what's gonna happen

I don't know. I don't know what you think that I feel good about a fatty fat fuck like him Leading me in a war. We're gonna get here's what's gonna happen a baby. He goes a baby Let's go into that fucking McDonald's right there and wait wait for the I know what he's trying to fucking do Half of the game was spent in fast food for some reason. I know he always wants to go to those fucking like abandoned fucking Because it's like rem it's like an old PTSD thing. Yeah, I don't know back. So hey Yeah, tell me before you left to go outside. You think the Pandy is a conspiracy Well, you know, here's the here's the thing Bobby me. Yeah, you're Bob. Yeah, I don't know much I read I you know, I read I read articles on on the web. Yeah, I watched the news

The you know, maybe it's the fake news. I have no idea. Well, it's all fake Yeah, and and and I'm getting I get pulled one direction Right because it for me my foundation is I'll admit is I you know pop is a liberal I'm a liberal you're a liberal. Yeah, and So then I kind of generally listen to oh, yeah, I'm on this team But there are sides of me now that is being pulled in the other direction. Well, what led you to this? What article did you did you read? Well, it's just oh It's just I sometimes I listen to like

Joe Rogan and all those kind of Brian Callan and those guys. Well, don't listen to Callan That's a that's a foolish mistake. That guy's a moral and then I just I said Joe Rogan, you know He said that maybe think he's gonna move to Montana or something Yeah, so you can do stand-up and stuff. He wants to move because he has enough money to go wherever he wants Yeah, if you were that rich, wouldn't you just leave? I would have left a long time. What would be the purpose? Yeah, like Paulie flew to Hawaii. I would fly to Hawaii too if I had yeah He's in Hawaii right now speaking of Hawaii and your shirt. Look at you got a Hawaiian shirt on I watched your movie last night, and I called you didn't I?

I watch so David listen David Spade is a new movie called the wrong missy on Netflix where good spades are homie We love spades our buddy Swartz and is in it who by the way so funny And I texted Nick I go very funny in the movie. He goes. It's the fattest. I've ever been and I go I don't I don't it was it is the fattest. He's probably yeah, definitely, but it's not that he was fat He's not fat in it. It's just I think bloated It looks like that he like Jimmy he was regular size and he died went into the ocean They found him and then you know over the week the the the ocean water made him bloated. That's mean. He's our friend That's mean. He's our friend. Oh, then it looks like instead of that

It looks like that he was a regular guy, right got real hongo-hongo, right? And then just ate a buffet in Vegas for 24 hours straight and then flew to Hawaii to shoot and then no and then went Onto a boat got shot in the head went to the water and then he got bloated I Called you after I watched the movie and that you broke put me in a fucking bad mood I didn't you in a bad mood. I said this let the fucking let's let the let the fans decide then I said this phrase My wife and I said an An underutilization of your talent. It's a bummer that I didn't see more of you. That's a compliment Bob That's saying I wish I wanted to see more of you. I was bummed since the year

2000 I've been auditioning for Adam Sandler movies. I auditioned for a bunch of them The pixels did you go for that? Yeah, I don't know hand a bunch of zoe hand a bunch of stuff, okay? And I could never get into his world Mm-hmm, you know, I memorized the lines. I go in there I could never get into a movie and I that's a dream like I just want to be in an Adam Sandler movie. Yeah, okay now you are So then last summer spade Cosmica's a man We do one line in my movie in Hawaii and if anybody had asked me that yeah, I'd be like Fuck you'll

Mark you'll deal you would if I asked you you'd do it for me. There's rare occasion. I would do it for you Yeah, but most people you know people I just feel especially if my agent called me goes this one line He'd even talk me out of it and probably and go I don't think it's worth your time But spade wanted you to do it. He called you directly. Yes spade called me and I go One line. I go. I don't any guys. It's a big favorite of me and Adam and that was like to egret No, Adam Sandler. Oh The other Adam Produced it. So I go fuck. Maybe this is my way into that world and and you know

I went I went there and I was kind of just like I have one line. So it was no pressure I didn't I slept fine that night, you know, so usually when I've been in the movie before Did you stay in that hotel that you guys shot in? No, it was a different hotel that they shot but my point is Is it then when I showed up? I'm on set and you know, I see all my friends are there with Towsky. Love him. He's so funny. So funny Lapkis. Yeah spade. Yeah, and I'm And I I do I do what my wife Sandler's wife. I do one take right and then I hear cut I

Shouldn't be talking about this. I'm gonna I'm talking this isn't bad. It's not bad. I know I shouldn't be talking about this But I hear cut and then I see on my peripheral vision Mr. Sandler come across, you know, I mean to come to me you got to do it a different way yeah, yeah, and It's just not right. Whatever I'm doing is not right. The vibe wasn't right. What he wanted Yeah, I think I was making because you know and back in the mad TV TV mad TV days If they gave me a line, I would do everything I can to get a laugh from that one line That was the that was the job

Right, right? That was even if it was like, you know, you know, welcome to McDonald's, right? I would go, you know, do something what? You know, man do a starter or you know me do what you would do I would do something to get especially in front of a live audience do whatever I can to get a laugh. You'd go Welcome to make it out. Oh Yeah, you do it huge But I didn't do that. It's a movie so I go, you know, I'll just play as real but try to get a bend It just every take was like it's too broad. It's too. I don't understand. We're you know, it just wasn't working

so what you see in the movie is as You know what I did and It hurt my feeling feelings. Have you seen the whole film? You haven't watched it. No, no, so you don't even know what it is Well, I've seen the clips that I they sent you the clip people fans go You got a line And you find that condescending I find it to be um Listen, I'm not like some of these other comics that you know, I try I'm not like I

Don't want to fucking name anybody. Okay, don't name anybody But I've done a lot of TV shows and yeah movies. It's not as if it's my first rodeo, baby Nah papa been on the bull before and I um So, you know by doing one line. I'm doing a favor. I'm trying to like Go, you know what try to be in service. Yes service the film service the film. Yeah, that's the move and I did that But in retrospect, maybe I should have done it Well, here's the thing and you've been in those situations before Bob come on But I have the you want to you want to you want to have the fans get a real good laugh go ahead and watch

James Franco's The Disaster Artist which is based on the movie The Room which is one of the worst movies of all time your boy is in Four scenes. I'm in the first fucking scene like the first thing you see. It's my big fucking orange head Guess what I say what? Nothing this is I go like this and they cut me out. I Have literally zero dialogue. Yeah, you see me about to say something four times Mmm, Nathan Fielder and I had a whole bit in an alleyway gone. I Was so mad about it. I know like so hurt. I know you were I know you were that I genuinely

Wanted to say something to Franco and be like my guy. I Respect what what people do when they cut a movie and pings end up on the editing floor. That's how it goes, but then Don't show me What do you mean? Well, don't show me and I don't say anything Oh Show me around you If it's a white shot and you're a little orange head because it's not how it's hard It's not hard to miss your ugly orange head VFX can do wild cool stuff

You could have just done something right get rid of me get rid of me cut around me It's you know, you know how television and film works you do because they would there you do a thousand takes There's a way to cut around how cool is it though, right that I was a part of it No, but how cool listen to this logic though Let's suppose I directed a movie right and I got just I directed a movie and I had Tom Hardy in it But I cut out all his lines. Yeah, but he's still in it. Yeah, and people are watching go Oh Tom Hardy. That's how cool Bobby Lee's movie is that even Tom Hardy is an extra Yeah, but that would that's Tom. I'm me. That's Tom Hardy. He's a fucking superstar

I'm trying you're a superstar too. No, I'm trying I'm trying Bill Burr only Bill Burr is huge. Yeah, we see great fit Simmons. Not he doesn't have hair anymore neither do Okay, Louie. Yeah, red heads are there's a bun Louie burr. Burr Fitz fit Simmons carrot top Kathy Griffin Kathy Griffin Lucille ball RIP Yeah

There's a lot a lot of red heads. You're right, and you're like the last one I'm seventh No, you're probably you're the you're up there. No, my point my point is I have no disrespect to James and to Seth and those guys. I think Seth and Evan. I love those guys I wanted to be in part of their camp too just like you want to be a standard Yeah, the the thing that broke my heart was I went to the fucking premiere dude Did they didn't tell you before you went to the premiere? They don't tell you oh my god If I was in the audience and I saw that I would probably kill myself right there in the theater

So I almost did I'm not I can't imagine you in the theater watching the whole thing and what was going through your head So, oh, that's joy. So here's what happened I went to the it was at the chat man's Chinese theater was at the premiere your uncle your uncle Chong man owns it and Wong man, sorry the Wong man and I went to the premiere and we sat in the very far back corners me and the me and my my lady and And the movie starts and I see it. I'm kind of get into and then I think oh, okay Okay, well, they didn't use me at this front scene even though I had a really funny line To James da-da-da-da. It's okay, and I see the next one. I was like

That was at the lunch table I thought I had some really funny lines to June Diane Raphael, you know who she is, right? Yeah, and then I thought oh this and then me her and Paul Shear and And Davey Franco were in this other room together and then I thought well this scene literally calls for us to make fun of the other scene It's us. Yeah, it's us. Yeah, and And then nothing there and so then I get to the fourth time I come on camera And I was next to you I would have been laughing the whole time and I get so hurt by it that I mean this as We're leaving. Yeah, I had a full

Full-fledged panic attack my blood pressure went up. I couldn't I couldn't see I was getting like I couldn't breathe So I grabbed my wife's hand, and I was like let's go let's go immediately like let's get in the fucking car And what's your wife got here? She was she was so bummed for me. She was just super hurt She was like it's okay She goes do you want to show your face at the party because people that don't know after you do a premiere You have to go to this after party you go no I went right to my house, and I sat in my fucking bed And I'm not kidding. I didn't sleep for like two days because I was just like This must mean I suck this must mean they don't like me this must mean

I'm fucking dog shit all the dude it's like tortured me over and over and then a piece of me was like and then I felt Bad that I didn't go to the party. Oh am I a fucking why wouldn't I go to that party now? They're gonna be like that guy's a fucking asshole. He didn't even go to the party all of that stuff was going through my head Yeah, and you know come to come to know that those guys don't give a fuck they have to do what they have to do It's like they didn't do that on purpose as a thing. It's a nobody cares That's my point is like it's over. It's in the past. It's not there was no reason for it It was just it was what it was, but I've always wanted to be a part of a camp I think that's the problem. Oh, of course we want to be a part of a part of a camp

I know Swartz is in the Saddam Sandler camp, but he's been in there for I know if I'm saying though You know Ken Jung's in a camp. Which camp? What was he in? He's more easy. He's in the Apatow that kind of camp No, he's not Ken John. No, he's not he not really he Ken just gets a lot of work. He just gets work He he's hangover got him a lot of work. He's not in like a camp camp like Swartz and those guys I get it all the guys that do Sandler films Schneider. They're all in the same spady They're on the same that makes sense and and Evan and Seth and Evan do a lot of the same kind of people Franco and his brother and yeah, yeah Dude, those are great places to fucking be here to create our own camp. That's the point. Well, let's create our own camp

Who would be in your camp oh Shit, I would at my camp. Yeah, what am I in it? Oh, yeah 100% right now if I had a camp Let's say I was a full-fledged Rider-director. Let's say you had a huge studio deal with your universal gave you a huge like 10-picture deal And they're like Bobby you got a stew you got it you have a bungalow on the lot You can you can hire writers and actors and directors. Who are you picking? Wow, that's difficult, but I would probably do you I Would try to help my friends that I think are really good that don't work as much as that

I think they should you think is really good that doesn't work in a Rosenbaum. Yeah, Michael. I think Michael Rosenbaum is very funny I've got to text him back. I've to text him back. Yeah, I feel bad. I just remembered that. Yeah, I would probably sassow Easily one of the funniest people on the earth. I'll use this also the standard but a lot of chicks, too I'd probably use um, you know, I like Melissa Vinson. You're a lot one of my one of my closest friends Yeah, there'd be a bunch, but I love her probably who would catapult out. Maybe would you hire Griff? Of course, I'd have to as what as what security? You don't mean how you go into a lot and he was he's the one that checks the ID you got a pass You got a bad. Yeah, you can't get on the lot man. I need to drive. I mean, you gotta put this man

Or let me call. Let me call. You know how they call. Yeah This episode is sponsored by blue chew guys. Remember the days when you were always ready to go? Yeah When you were revving that engine ready to ready to pump all the time Now you can increase your the performance and your libido get that confidence and bed back up, right Bob blue chew calm That's blue like the color blue blue chew brings you the first chewable same FDA approved active ingredients as Viagra and Cialis you can take them anytime day or night full stomach or like Bob an empty stomach when you're fasting Yeah, yeah, they work twice as fast as a pill so you can be ready whenever an opportunity arises That's right blue chew is prescribed online by licensed physicians

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Just I've had so many problems at those gates Oh, it's endless for people that don't know when you go up to a gate Warner Brothers Universal one of these lots yeah To check your ID and you have to have a drive-on pass to get your car on there And if they don't they embarrass you and they make you pull over to the side. Well, everyone just like scans in yeah And they have to call and go yeah, he's out here It's it's I just pitched with Howie Mandel and Joe Coy before the quarantine. Yeah, and I was at You use a Netflix or someplace like that and I'm at the gate and I'm telling him I'm on the list

Like you're not a list man get out of here This is get out of here. Shut up. I'm not kidding. I could get out of here I swear to God. I'm with Howie Mandel. He's he just texted me, right? You good now. You don't know my I'm gonna get out of here What do you think you were like a and then I hear how we go? Hey, Bobby Lee? I go like this and you could see the security guys face go this drop and go All right Did this guy have like a vendetta against you? No, it's just I don't look like I should be in showbiz. Yes, you do

No, I don't yeah, you do no you do and no, I was at a hotel was major Jordan Peele and Arden marine were publicizing Matt TV and I was at a hotel. Yeah, and I just sitting outside and the security guard comes up to me goes get off the premises That's it the first thing comes out of us. I go. What did I do? Why only guess I because it was in a really nice hotel, and I always look, you know, I mean like I'm a black market pineapple smuggler Yeah, just like shady. Yeah, like I have a human trafficking business on the side. Yeah, you're up to something You're driving you're driving a U-Haul for some reason and he would not even asking me Are you a guest or anything like that? His opening line was get off the premises or a call the police I like this guy. No, but I'm just saying that I just have that vibe. I think I don't see I don't look for anything

I was I did this Nickelodeon show once and I show up to Paramount and The late I I go to the lady and she goes all right in this room And I go what room I'm Bobby Lee. She's I know in this room So I go in the room and it's like 10,000 extras And I wanted to say to her, you know, I was a principal on you know, but instead of saying that I go, okay And you just did it. I just sat there why an hour Why would you do that so that that lady would get in trouble you wanted to get this woman fired? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, so then good for you agent calls me. I'm sitting there. He gives you where are you I?

Got that. I'm here. I've been I was here early. I was I'm in the fucking extra stable He goes what? Yeah, that lady the blonde lady with the thing sent me here and then she comes up to me and she goes Are you Bobby Lee? Yeah, you're the one that's yeah, I told you I was But you're not supposed to be I go you sent me in here and she got in so much trouble She probably got fired. I don't give a fuck. Don't do that. That girl's probably making like no no No, who's coming? No, who's coming? No, who's coming? I've done so many of those little weird things. I can't do that. That's why it's too mean

Hey, I just I oh care sometimes when someone goes that I've been treated like that. Oh, I show up for a show that I know for yourself Nah, yeah, I did the second episode for this is us when I tried to when I went back there. Yeah Yeah It's like a comedy club not letting you in It's when you headline. I don't care enough. I care. It's disrespectful. I didn't do right ten years of open mics You did I know I did yeah, but I didn't do it. You could still use a couple more to be honest Maybe I will move to stop Maybe I will so what do you believe what do you believe the conspiracy? By the way, you believe that this is this is baloney

Pony put in pie. I don't believe that. Oh Shit, let me play you something. Hmm. Let me play you something your your lovely girl sent me this as you know, okay This is something that we This is something that we have on the show here You this was from before. Hmm. This is you. This is 2d. This is 2d Bobo. That's how I wake up This is 2d Bobo. This is waking up at about 245. This is we played this a couple weeks ago There he goes there he goes come back this way come back this way. I Really like that. Yeah

Yeah You know that fart that fart she she's so turned off on my farts that you would I do at nights? I have a system now. It's so gross. I know I have a system because I have a very tight butthole Well, a guy named Spencer Tritt. Did you a favor? So what I do at night? Can I just finish what I'm my point not? So what I do is I take both fingers when I have the fart Oh boy, and I spread my cheeks as wide as I can to create the biggest opening Mm-hmm, and it goes like a you know, like a loose queef. It goes. Oh

Like that and then I trapped the fart in the blanket And I but did you know this and this is science? Yeah No matter how long you trap it stays it's okay. I know it doesn't go away I don't know you know I show it to biology class or something, but you know that science you learn everything it knew every day, you know So mean I know it's so gross. What are you gonna do? I'm old my body I think I the mechanisms, but you just roll over get out of bed fart and get back in that's what I do I get out get out for you get off the bed if it's gonna be a bad one if it's gonna be a bad one Do you ever think when you fart into the mattress does it stay in there?

How long like you I think about that how many poo particles stay inside of there probably a lot so many Yeah, let's know what this boy did for you for that that that fart sound. That's no good This is another fucking techno kid sent us something. I'm amazed by How good is this so good it's really actually good at this for this kid's name is fractal beef Rudy you like it? I mean that's really really talented fans dude. That's the point so many talented fans. Thank you so much Thank you for that kind of stuff. I have so many talented tell me about tell me seriously Tell me about your conspiracy shout out to Raimi and you watch you watch Rogan from Georgia You watch Rogan and you and you bought into the thing that you believe that it's I told Rudy before that they did a study in the Philippines

That he talked about on there. The Philippines they found that people that have Higher levels of vitamin D had seven times The chances of having a less severe COVID infection, you know, they're saying sun helps a lot Yeah, vitamin D guess who has the highest yeah vitamin D from the Sun Who has it orange head the orange yes the orange is red heads have have have super high levels of vitamin D Why do we produce high levels of vitamin D? Guess because of the Sun because we're not so to be outside. Yeah, so our body naturally soup like a superhero I make tons of vitamin D. Wow

I didn't know that I tried to Google it to try to find out if any redheads have died from COVID Yeah, and they don't categorize you by hair, but they should they should you know but they do make a point that if here's a I Want to be mindful and I Really feel even what how we we've had eighty five eighty five thousand deaths in this country a lot of people So sad a lot of people have died and it's devastating. It is I feel so bad for their families But we but there you know when I talked to Adam E get yesterday I talked to him yesterday, too

What time did when did he say that the comedy store might open September me too you said that but here's the caveat Okay, September caveat means here's the exception of the rule. Do you really? The caveat he said was that it's gonna be half capacities in most of those rooms and they won't be able to open all of them anyway So what that really means is? What I said the other day before you get into your your honest truth depiction I said to Rudy before the show. I said I believe in my heart. I'm not trying to sound like a crazy person. I Believe that it's real It is all real, but I do think they're not telling us something and it's gonna when it does come out

It's gonna fucking blow. It's gonna be the scariest world-changing event Wait what you think that I think they know something and the reason that they extended our stay for indoors for three more months Is because they can't tell us something that you think that I think it's a lie No, or you think that no there's that coronavirus can mutate into something even crazy I think there's a bigger detail that we don't know about I think international fucking I think there's international conversation between massive world leaders and Essentially in my stupid dumb make it up while I'm running in the middle of the night Hmm. I think this was a threat. It was a this is what's gonna happen

You think this was a biological weapon that was 100% a Biological weapon that the Qingchungs created to destroy America. I don't even think it was them actually if I'm being honest Irish No, the Irish are the greatest people on earth. Oh, that's right Okay, my bad. No, but do you know that the lab in Wuhan the sister lab is in South Carolina here in the United States? They actually did not they actually disprove the wet market theory. That's not it didn't come from a wet market Yeah, I know I believe that it did come from a lab It's not only to come from a lab. Nobody knows where that lab which lab it came from it didn't it's not the lab in America How do you know how the fuck would you because it happened in Wuhan first?

It doesn't matter dude That's that could be the way that they start that viral viral spread if they contain it they can tap that these are sister labs We don't know what we're talking about. We don't we don't I think they don't they're not telling us one big thing And at the end of the year, they're gonna go fuck here's what's going on with it There's we got a huge make something up make something up. They said here's what's going on Yeah, Kim Jong-un called up some of his homies. They fucking plotted some shit They broke into a lab in the middle of the night and these Chinese lab guys are like what do you do here? And then the Korean the fucking North Koreans are fucking

You're gonna choke them the fuck out what and they took the vial and they Spread it over Wuhan. Well, I'm laughing with the accent first. Go ahead. What the Korean why we well because the Chinese What do you do here? And the Korean guy's like well, you're for this that's Japanese and they but they're there too Because that's not the first thing that they would say if they walked into a lot. What will we do here? Why do you do here? That's not the first thing and then the Korean guys go Oh, you're for a North Korea and they grab the vial. It's so racist It starts to spread shit. Yeah, they were sent there by people from around the world. It was a world

Why can't they just say that that's what happened? That's it seems as a wars about to break a world war three motherfucker That's what's gonna happen. That's what's gonna happen. I sound like Sam Tripoli. Yeah, you do. You're the one that doesn't believe in it I believe in it. I just know they had there's something. They're not telling us. Yeah They're not telling us something But if they're okay, what there's what I've read is is that the fastest we've ever come with a vaccine is four years Yeah, they said it would take two years to get it ever two years to get this vaccine at the earliest. Yes, okay They are so we have to now go do we quarantine until then or should we try to adjust and and go out and and Live our lives with you this pandemic. Do you want to just go out and live?

You can be honest, that's not it's okay to say yes You do you want to go out and and live rude. Do you want to go out and live? She doesn't because when we walked this is bullshit. What you did she instinctively know what she just did her today She really we left the house. Yeah, and my friend Jeff a dear friend of mine Jeff who? Do I know him? Okay, never mind your dearest your dearest friend Jeff I don't Jeff flank my best friend Let's make up a name. Yeah Jeff bulbous Jeff bulbous Jeff bulbous

We hired my friend Jeff because um, we got a bunch of furniture. I'm sure you did And I don't I don't know I know you're not gonna build that. Yeah, you need a handyman Yeah, so we're paying this guy to build it So he was in the garage and as we walked out of the house Jeff goes. What's up, man? I go Jeff and then fucking Rudy Hey, baby uncle Tito uncle Tito don't even get close to him Don't get close to him uncle Tito. I do. He's my friend. No. No. No. He got I think he got it Oh, don't don't get you think he had the Rona? No, but so you have to be six feet away. Oh, were you really close one of those clinical like you hug him?

No, well, so I was supposed to he was doing this He went to hug you went to go hug that was my when you I'm sorry instinct I know instinct and you said Tito Bobby don't yeah Yeah, it's like if I saw Sam or I would bow, you know me That's my instinct because of my old traditional. That's you know training You know that's in the Ronan as a Ronan as a Ronan. Yeah. Yeah, so you so what happened? Did he went any hugged him or no? No, he saw did you snitch? No, she will snitch. She's a fucking snitch this little one. Did you snitch?

No, look at me. Did you snitch? No, he had no time to time because we're so she didn't snitch to Kalila You know, but she is a snitch and it drives me crazy She's not on my side. She told me she told me she collects notes in her phone about all the stuff that you do that She's gonna hold against you. She's got black a blackmail note folder Yeah, but they hereby we haven't paid her yet. I know we need to pay her. No, we'll wait We shall wait write it down. We'll wait. That's true that we need it. We need if we don't need no blackmailing her Yeah, we're blackmailing her. We're black. We're brownmailing you. Yeah, but I don't you know, you know, um, you know Because a Callan and Rogan and some of these guys well those guys Callan and Shab and Theo those guys all get together

They all get together. Well, they don't care But to be but to be fair and then it's like Whitney is that Whitney will have Steve oh and a bunch of people coming to her house spades at her house today. I know I saw and it's like, you know And we don't do well you went to her house. I went to her house. Yeah, I went to her house I was one of the first ones to go to her house. Yeah, but um, but that was that was more because uh Uh She's she's like a lonely lady that she's very sad and she needed someone to come over and Tim Dillon I went over there to could soul her. She said will someone braid my hair and you have to go braid her hair

She it's so funny because Whitney Cummings is like Um, yeah, I'm gonna just buy a house in the middle of nowhere. You've been out there It's so far away so far away in the middle of nowhere and then when you go to her house It's like look there's no houses around Yeah, I know yeah, and I'm like you're a fucking witch now You might as well have that pot and you stir it, you know, I mean you're like the crazy Boyle boyle boyle and trouble Yeah, she sits outside in her backyard and she talks to the coyotes. Yeah come closer coyotes

And she's got 52 dogs too many fucking dogs right one of her dogs bit somebody. Did she tell you that? Yeah, she'll tell you. I don't know which one one of the fucking one of the dogs bit somebody Hey, but you know what? People are what here's what I think people just want to feel normal Right. Like we had two people come over for the in the backyard and hang out And we just stayed in the backyard nowhere near each other and I missed it so much There's so much. I missed it so much just like And then when they left it was like this weird like

Okay, bye and they had to like, you know, it's just it people want to feel normal again. That's all it sucks Yeah, you know, I in the beginning when the quarantine happened, I'll go this is nice. This is cool. Yeah I'm gonna say something that's I don't know if I say it What it was nice about it is The competitiveness went away with other comics Oh, right. You mean like the right like those Resentments and that jealousy and all that stuff had stopped because we were all now in limbo, right?

We're all kind of on the same page almost we're on the page like no one can do stand-up right now No one can sell out stadiums, right, you know, and In the beginning I'm like, this is good. We're all like at the starting line or whatever or we're all in the penalty box Right. We're all in this. Yeah, right in play, right? That's good. But now I miss The competitiveness of life so much Yeah, I miss, you know getting things and not getting things I I miss I miss having something to complain about like when you go when you're like, I got to go to this fucking audition I got to drive all the way over here. I got I liked it like I could we complained about it

But I loved it. It was so much fun to just like Because it's something to have in your life. It's something to like fill occupy your time with emotion. Now. It's like a still It's such a fucking still Numb thing that you're trying to find some shit to do. It's driving me fucking insane. I ran six and a half miles last night I was only supposed to do four and I was like whatever. I'll just keep going There's nothing to go home. There's nothing to do at the house war zone Yeah, but this was at 7 p.m. I know you don't you're not playing before 11. Yeah I'm just telling you that like you said that you were good at first person shooter. I am I am good at first person shooter games

I'm not gonna be led around by Eric Griffin. That's all Okay, I'm not gonna be led around by him Oh, by the way, I before I forget we got our video response back from our girlfriend rose No, yeah Raycon ladies and gentlemen boys and girls raycons are my favorite earbuds of all time I like the button on the side where I can press and change this That the song you can do the song the volume the volume and all that stuff. It really they're really futuristic looking They feel comfortable in your ears. They're my favorite of all time. They're nice and small and snug

A lot of these other come competitors of bluetooth earbuds are super expensive and they're big and chunky These are nice and tiny. They hide in your ear. Bobby has two in underneath his headphones right now Right that you can't see the they're half the price of most of the premium earbuds that are on the market right now And don't drop, you know, five six seven hundred dollars on them. Their earbuds are comfortable. They're the most affordable ones I I couldn't I couldn't even believe how cheap they were. I'm being honest. No, seriously It is it's extremely. Uh, they're extremely affordable is the best word to say They're stylish and discreet. There's no like wires and all that stuff the newest model the everyday e25 earbuds They are the best ones they gave me and bob some and I tried them out when I was running

And I do love when this company was come co co-founded by ray jay And celebrities are obsessed with it like snoop dog already dog loves it. Melissa etharidge brandy jr jr jr smith Yeah, you know them. Yeah, you're my favorite friends of them Yeah, now's the time to uh to get your hands on these honestly if you want good earbuds They're the best ray con 15 off your order at buy ray con.com slash bad friends guys buy ray con.com slash bad friends For 15 off ray con wireless earbuds. I can't say it enough. They're phenomenal. Go to buy ray con.com slash bad friends

Yeah, okay, so this will this will be good ready Hi, baby. Hi, Andrew. This is me Hello How are you guys? You know what? I always believe that love is more than a gender It's more than anything Actually love is love

I just want to say that i'm very very very proud of you guys. Please please please always stay strong Most especially that your adoption to little little one, uh, baby will come true I love you guys and always stay safe. Okay Love you How sweet is that? Little one. Yeah, that was very nice. We have to do another one. How many more can we do with her? We just have to keep asking her to do every week. We should do one. You want to do another one? Yeah, let's do one. I want I propose an idea

Yeah, just a very simple things that doesn't make any sense. Can we just tell her just say lulu lala? Like some weird like thing like lulu magic. This is the thing. She might not say it magic bus magic bus magic bus Happy for tutut magic bus. Yeah. Yeah, happy. That's it. Happy for tutut magic. Yeah, we'll do that Happy for tutut magic bus. That's it. That's all we want. That's all we want. Okay So we'll do one for next week. We'll do one next week and we'll get her but that was very sweet of her That was really nice that she did that. She's got the fan blowing in the background Hi, baby. Hi. Oh, she's so sweet. She is so nice. What a sweet girl. Do you like her? Yeah, do you do? Did she remind you of home?

Kind of yeah, she does. Yeah, she misses home. You do? Should we send you back? Can we send you back right now? We tried to buy you a flight that one time. We couldn't buy you a flight What about a boat? How long would it take to boat down there? Like what do you miss about home? I mean, what's what's see what you get talking to Mike Jules? All right. No, get your mouth to the mic. What do you miss about home? Um, my friends your friends and then my dogs your dogs. Oh That's so so that but did you notice she didn't say her brothers?

Well, she's too little brother. She hates How old are they? Six and seven. Yeah, those are that's the worst. They're little assholes. They're little idiots. They they smell like poop Right, they have shit all over the place suck um Last week we got a lot of hurrah for uh, for the fire stand-up comedy of Andres Rosende This dude is was a beast, right? I want to show you we found something Um from his earlier days of trying to get movies produced

You're gonna fucking really love this by the way Look at he was he did a Kickstarter. By the way, it got funded $10,000 he asked for and he got it And this is it He directed it Yeah, this is a Kickstarter Which puts pause for a second Just I want to let you know the way the reason why I know Andreas in the first place is I knew him as a director

You did yeah, because what this is how I met George. I met George and Andreas at the same time So years ago. I was at maker studios. I remember and I met George. Yeah, and then one of the first sketches He told me I know this really good director from spain and he's gonna direct the sketch So he directed me in a sketch Did he that's how I met Andrea. He's he's great. So let's see the movie. Well, this is the patreon to get the movie funded I mean, I'm sorry. This is the Kickstarter get the movie funded Hello Kick it starts and welcome. It will hopefully be the set of my new movie mr. Bear

My name is Andrea Rosendee and I'm an MFA from Columbia Columbia University and mr. Bear is like this as well As Steve needs now to face the biggest decision of his life Is that go ahead and get rid of the bloody corpse or become one himself? I Can see this is gonna be a good cast movie So if you want to know how the story ends Please we need your support Because even with another beg for money for the next 20 minutes

Um, it got it worked We have to see this movie. We what we have to do is during this. How about this during this coronavirus? Yeah, this pandemic Let's have Andreas write us a short and shoot it. Let's shoot it. I'm 100 down. I'm being real The jewels has to have lines in it. Yeah Do you want to do that? If Andreas wrote a movie a short with me and Andrew, would you do it? Maybe it's a quick heist thing where you're trying to I'm a Korean jeweler or something and you're Trying to yeah, and I try to rob you. Yeah, something like that. I take you hostage. Yeah

Yeah, or maybe like there's just one scene in a movie. You're a jeweler And you're going to check on your store because it's been shut down during the pandy Yeah, and you see that I'm breaking in there and I take you hostage and like dog day afternoon. Do you ever see dog day afternoon? Yeah, you never saw it. Yeah, I loved it. Yeah, really? Yeah, who's in it? dog day afternoon Al Pacino was in it and you know who else was in it is John Cassetti's Is that his name John John Cavettis? Is that it? What is his name?

What's his name? That's it. Yeah and dog day afternoon is They they train They try train dog. They try dogs to race Is that what it is? Have you never seen it for real? How do you you fuck of course I fucking seen it They they try to rob the bank and then what happens and it's a true story and all the it's a fumble They fumbled this bank robbery all day, right and it's a true story I even saw the documentary based on the guy. So let's do our dog day afternoon

Yeah, but so you and I we have to find a bank to do it. No, we'll find a bill We'll find a studio. We'll do it inside of a close. So you and I are in cahoots. We're both bank robbers We don't we don't find that out to the end All right, I'm a teller then you you you no no not a bank jewelry. Oh jewelry I'm a jewelry. Yeah, and you work with me in the jewelry And I hold both of you hostage right and the police come and there's a hostage negotiation And we fool them to thinking that if they just give me what I need. I'll let you guys go But in turn you're working with me

And we have an escape plan and Rudy is the one that gets us out of there She's in the helicopter. She nobody knows she can fly a fucking she's like I'm from Philippines I don't know right next to end of the scene. She's like come on rope it down. Let's go I don't know why you come into I'm gonna have that accent. I don't know why you come into my jewelry store To try to rob me and my friend. What's my act? What am I playing? Who's what's my act? I don't know. You can make it up Okay, uh, uh, okay. Hey, will you hold me up first? You What the fuck are you a franken franken orange?

I won't do that. I won't do that. No be real be real be real. All right. All right. Yeah. Hey you You Stupid asian piece of shit. Whoa Put your hands up. Oh You too lady. Put your hands up now My god. Oh, he's so scared. Don't call the cops if you hit that panic button I'll shoot both of you in the face on my body. Give me all the jewelry. Okay. Where's the diamonds in the vault Take us to the vault. No, no put your hands up. We'll go both of them and then

Yeah, I just did yeah, there we go. I'm fucking you in the ass right now I have a pointy dick and the cops come. Yeah Oh my okay, we'll have just have andreas write it We'll do I'm being real though because I know I got something I have to figure out something creative to do In this this this podcast ain't doing it for me. No, I love it. No No, I'm grateful for it and I would die without it You just want more you want more I want to be able to do more because I just during the week They just blend together. I don't know what day it is sometimes. I know it's really fucking sad man

Well, honestly, it's hard to be even funny in this fucking situation. That's all We're destined to do some kind of movie or something together. We need to do something We need to do something. Yeah, this was somebody found footage of us from a long time ago. Look at how great this is This is us Um, this is this guy Doug bento sent this to us. This is us on a game show for many years from the age I was not in the games. Yeah, you I remember that didn't we refer to someone as yellow we consider them to be what? Chinese not chinese over to jerry and marie now. Yes, jerry. Um, cowardly cowardly is correct

Very When we find someone to be yellow, oh, what are they uh, chinese Not chinese over to the chinese kid. Oh cowardly How great that's like one of the greatest clips I've ever seen. Yeah, also, it's like What do you think that kid got cancelled? No, you can't cancel that. Can't cancel the 80s. Yeah. Yeah Can we refer to someone as yellow we consider them to be what? Chinese Yeah, and when the guy says no, yeah, probably 90 percent americans like what is it then it is chinese

By the way, you could tell this is britain by the way. Oh, yeah, well british people listen to what he sounds he says As yellow we consider them to be what watch his face Chinese Not chinese over to jerry and marie. Look at how bummed he is. I know he's like it is chinese Watch watch when he when he says chinese. He goes. No, watch his face. Not chinese over to jerry and Oh, like oh, yes, it is That's what my dad calls them all the time Yeah, yellow bastards those yellow bastards. Yeah get off our lawn yellow bastards. Yeah

No, yes jerry um cowardly cowardly is correct And then during the commercial break the asian guys goes to the order you're right I Like just to make him feel better. I probably you're probably right about yeah, we agree We agree, but you know how weird that this that of course and then look at his little faces looking over. Oh, I hate I I know he's crying. No, he was hating on the on the redhead kind of just say something went in school You don't think that when I saw that kid in school in my class. I went What fucking chong chongs and because I

I hate asians like that. Why because those are the ones that fuck up the curve Do you hate asians like that root? Yeah, you do. Yeah, I'm the one That people cheat off of and we all fail right right, but everybody wants to cheat off of him. Yeah So there's two different types. So you're the other I'm the other type the dumb one But you don't like them because they're they're they're they're making they're they're progressive They're doing they're too smart. They're just like there's you know, a lot of asians are very sciency, you know And mathematics. They're good at mathematics, right? Yeah, but you have to understand that in every country You have coal miners as well. Sure and I come from that line lineage. What about you?

I don't know. Are you a math girl? She gets straight A's. Why do you hate this kind of asian? Why do you hate this kind of asian? um There's a lot in my school and they're like very like They think of a lot of asians stupid. So they think if you're not like them, you're stupid. Yeah Yeah, I remember going to um, I was in rehab in my junior year in high school Yeah, and when I got out of school, I remember the teacher a teacher history teacher goes to the class So bobby just got out of rehab She mixed an announcement. Why would she say that because I missed bunches

and um Discuss, you know, the the journey that you just had. I said, yeah, I just was on drugs and I I'm now I'm sober She made you do that in front of a Chinese guy raises his hand it goes Why do you have to do drug in the first place? And I remember turning the guy go you fucking gook fuck So you don't I think the same thing. I'm the guy that says yellow Youth that yeah, yeah, you're more racist than I am. I did I honestly do you want something to wipe up that coffee? I just saw your hand go in it. Honestly, dude. It's just like I don't even really identify with it. What do you identify as?

Nothing like I'm I more identify with um A straight like a strange guy. Do you forget that you're Asian until someone says something? I don't even think of it. Do you ever think jewels do would you ever think of your that you're Asian? No, yeah, we what white people don't get is is that when you wake up you don't go I'm Asian You don't think that the only what of course you don't think that I'm saying It they can't you're not it's not conscious until someone says something about it Yeah, you you realize, you know, like my friend pk sent

Put a post off on his instagram And there's a bunch of white chicks in a mall and they're like, what kind of race would you never date? It's all these white chicks going Asian definitely Rouse, right, right. Yeah, and those are the moments where I realize. Oh, am I different? Yeah, very yeah, what very I said very I know you said that but what do you mean by that because like Black people are cool

And they have all that's they're cool and they have culture and music and and mexicans are fun and they have good food Yeah, and like It's a great car. It's great style. Yeah, and and and you guys are um It's buying up land and You're gonna come here to buy the land and we're so much more than that. I know dude. I'm I'm clearly fucking kidding around No, you know, you're you're stop it. Stop it. You know how much I love asian some of them some of them Some of them. Yeah, which one which one which one do you think I don't like the most? You know

You know Hey, Vietnamese Japanese no korean. No chinese. No wuhan No Um cambodians. Yep. No, really? No I don't hate anybody. I don't have time to do that shit. Yeah, what a waste of my time I hate people not races. There's a lot of people I hate. There's a reason to hate the person It's not because of their race

I I feel the same way in a weird I forget that I have red hair until someone makes a joke about it Right, it's really fucking it's like this It's not the same as when someone makes an asian joke to you, but it's annoying to me in a way where I go Well, I'm not allowed to be mean back Yeah, because then I'm a bad guy. Yeah, you know, it's it's so interesting that that it's like Without that We I think we would get along better. I think as a as you know, it's like but we need to be different

I think it's I know we need to be different, but why bring it up Why do people bring it up and then they draw lines and then, you know, they they say that this Group of people that look like this are less than this group of people Because I think that when you're when you don't when your life is not that fulfilled and you're kind of dumb or average that's a point of Conversation it's a point of life that you can go, you know Uh, like uh, my buddy's mom was like, you know at that grocery store. Yeah, there's lesbians Yeah, and it was like it's and of course to to us in our world you go

Yeah, so what and to them in their little insular world. They're like, no, I mean, you know, we don't see a lot of lesbians over here It's like they're always at that store. It's a point of conversation. You know, what's funny about this is something to talk about it's that you know Everyone says that you're a product of your environment whatever So it's like basically, you know, if you were born in a christian household Yeah, you're probably gonna end up being christian, right most likely But like my pair the opposite but my parents were always anti whatever I was into Like I remember as a kid my dad just put pounded his hand on the table

If you ever gay I kill you Right and I remember going wow, that's really Yeah, what's wrong with that, right? I never thought That any race or any gender or any position sexually Was a fucking bad thing because it doesn't matter. But I know but I was never conditioned to think that I just I feel like I was born I kind of analyzed

The world around me and things that made sense and didn't make sense and came to the conclusion that why does it matter About one's gender or what their sexual preferences? Yeah, who cares or race? It doesn't doesn't matter But my parents definitely had you know an ideology and their own set of you know But but this but this is to play devil's advocate though We our ideology is everyone's cool and it's okay and do whatever you want 50 years from now, maybe they'll look back at us and be like god. They were so fucking stupid The way that they looked at that. I don't know what theirs is going to be. Yeah, but it'll probably end up being like Even calling you a redhead would be like saying the n-word

It is it is no, it's not it is to me. No, it's the exact same thing. It's an ugly look That's that's ginger ginger is the n-word with differently. Yeah, it is. It's the different letters You know, it's a weird look people just doesn't look weird though. Yeah Good people just want to feel like they have something to say People elevator music people weather Oh god, it's hot out. They want to just talk about stuff My neighbor to me. I'm washing the cars yesterday. I'm washing me and my wife's car in the driveway I like it. It's like nice. I put on my headphones. My neighbor does this thing

I take on my hand. Yeah, she goes you could do ours next Yeah, what am I supposed to say now? I have to play along with her thing that I don't like I have to go You got you go. It's 300 bucks a car. I have to do that Yeah, because if I really go if I go what? What the fuck you talking about? No, I'm not gonna That's a stupid thing to say. Don't say that and then put on my headphone. Then I'm the mean guy So I know I don't I don't do that go along with it if somebody brings up something That I don't want to talk about like if somebody comes up to me a stranger and goes wow

Um, I really like that shirt. You're wearing. Yeah, I'll just go no Shut up I really will you if somebody goes, where did you get that shirt? If Bobby that Hawaiian shirts cool. Where did you get that? No Fuck you. Yeah, I really I really will why or I won't even answer Ask me again. Whoa those pants are cool. Where did you get those? Who makes those bop bop bop? Bop bop bop makes those No

Oh the company know bop bop. No, I don't want to talk to you. I don't want to talk to you bop bop. No makes those Yeah, it's something like that. Yeah spiral. Yeah, I have a face of ask me directions People always come up to me. Hey, uh, excuse me, sir. Yeah, what's up? How do you like it to second street in gardener? Oh So easy you have a smartphone and iPhone. Yes, okay Open it up and then type. No, I want you to tell me red. No, I'm telling you what to do with your phone Type in how do I get to sunset gardener and then when you're done put the phone right all the way up your asshole Yeah, you know what? You know what happened to me this morning that I feel really good about what I pull up to the

Stada buck Stada buck right though. I go to starbucks drive-thru I get to the window and She hands me the food and I go to hand her my card and she goes. It's okay the car in front of you already paid For you Wow, you know one of these like opera things, you know pay it forward. Yeah, and I was like, oh, why did they do that? and she goes, um I don't know and then my head goes. They're tight. They're fans of bad friends or your whiskey ginger My first unfortunate thought is did they see me and they know me? Yeah, but they're in front of me through the rear view

They couldn't know. Yeah. Yeah. No way they did But then I thought this could be because of the pandy people are trying to be nice to people and pay for other people's shit So then I said to her well should I should pay for the people behind me? Yeah, but I had a very she goes. I mean if you want to and I go, yeah, of course. I will let me do that Let me pay for the next car. Yeah, but in a Larry David moment when she goes away to go get the total I felt like this is so a Larry David. I literally go What if they got a lot of stuff? I don't want to pay for a lot of stuff Like I could hear Larry David being like did they just get coffee? Yeah. Yeah, they got more than coffee

I don't want to pay for I'll pay for just their coffee. Yeah, and that would be a Larry David moment Right, right. They would go they get up to the window. They'd hand them and they go that guy took care of your coffee The food he didn't pay for and somehow they remember him. They run into him later. It's such a Larry David moment So I called Jeff Schaefer who did this season of curb and I told him that I go if you use that I want fucking credit because it's I can see Larry doing that thing But I paid for the meal. I paid for the people behind me. Which was it? I don't know. I didn't even ask. Yeah, but she's you know, whatever I paid for it And I hope in my head people kept doing it all afternoon. Oh, what a sweet guy

No, because that's really fucking cool. That's a nice thing to do to make it because here's why If it wasn't the Pandy, I'm not doing that But the Pandy is making us go. Hey man times are fucking annoying. This is something fun to shift it up Yeah, you know, like it's just fun like there's something about it when you go to a restaurant and they go Um, hey, we're big fans of yours. It's on us. Oh god. Do you have to tip so much? You have to tip so much money That's why I you know, I go you have to tip so much money when they do that I know what I say is this I go no, I'm paying for it The reason why is because especially if it's a restaurant that I'm going to come back to

Oh, right. I don't want them to think that oh, here he comes again for a free meal There he comes. He's been here for twice a week. You know what I mean to get the free meal So I tell them that I go don't pay for me because I want to come back. Yeah I'll still give you a big tip. Don't worry about it. Right, right But I don't want to feel pressure of not coming back. I want to come back, right? They're like, sir, this is your eighth time this week at this pf change. You have to go somewhere else I just I was on I was took my I took my wife's parents out for dinner at a really nice steak house Yeah, and they brought us wine and after the guy he comes up to me kind of like over my shoulder

They can't really hear so I thought and he goes. Hey, man. I just I'm a massive fan and this is like Such a big deal if I don't want to bug you now, but after the dinner could I get a photo and I go? Yeah, totally no doubt on the way out just You know wait till we're done like done eating and then of course no big deal And then he comes up and the manager comes up and he's like great to meet you In front of my wife and her parents right and it's like we took care of the bill and I was like Fuck Fuck I know because now I'm like you have to give you you have to tip in my opinion

You have to tip double double the bill right double the bill So whatever the bill was two times that has to go to the server's pocket, right? Yeah, which is fine. It's just it's a forced hand Yeah, I would have tipped him well anyway, but now you're tipping 200 percent of what the bill was right and then we take the photo And it's one of these moments where we're not getting the photo Doing oh could we eat something's wrong with the thing and it's lasting a long time Yeah, and now people are looking at me and for everything in the world I wish I could have just given all the money for the thing and ran out as fast as I could just given the money

And and been like I can't take the photo. I'm sorry. I gotta go. Yeah, something's wrong at the thing Yeah, it was just uncomfortable. It was just weird. I don't like I don't like those moments Here's what I don't like to at a restaurant where the waiter will go So the chefs are really big fan, right? Oh, fuck you're so he made something special for you, right? So you already ordered your meal Yeah, you don't and then the waiter comes with a bore. Yeah I'm fire. I'm fire and I gotta eat the whole fucking thing now. Yeah, the chef's just sitting there like that Yeah, you have to finish you have to finish it. Oh, it's the worst that I don't like I don't like it either

Here's what I do like what when people just Do a subtle thing knowing that I know that they know I think that's the coolest thing when they go like like I've had I had I've had a guy go like this in a restaurant He just goes like this Oh, I love it's like fight club. Yes. It's like fight club. Yeah, you know, I know, okay We don't say anything when we went to hawaii with my mom before the pandy. Yeah We did the road to hana and then we wanted to go to mama's fish house But if you ever been to mama's fish house, yes, it's a two-month reservation. Yeah, you can only get in if you know

Someone that can get you in right so we drove. I tell her this story already. No, okay So I we drive up and I go to the hostess and I go um, hey Four six you have reservations. I go no and she goes Sorry, it's a two-month reservation Like that and she looks me right in the eyes And I kind of blush, but I go all right guys. Let's get back in the car But then the valets They go well, you can't get in I go no

Hold on I had a valet run down to the hostess and I could see that from before him yelling at her Right. It was the best, right? Yeah, and then she calling the owner of whatever Yeah, and then she goes she had to go All right, you get primed to your table right right this way So we go to the table and this is the best. Yeah, and I love That's why I love podcasting. Yeah I love that

Waiters and waitresses would walk by me and whisper Or Hail the slept king. That's so you know, and it feels I love And I love those fans. I mean, I love mad tv fans and if they like me in a movie or whatever But our podcast friends that we hang would hang out with it's great. It's great. Yeah. No, I love it I do love what I I I love it when all you have to do is be cool and don't make it fun Don't make it weird. Don't say a weird thing and That's why that's why when I ray me and those guys I play at um your buds don't work my buds, right?

Warzone with is when I'm talking to them because I know During the messages they go work. I'm a bad friends tiger belly fan That's cool. And then when you become when you're playing with them It's almost as if There's a trust factor because they know all my fucking insecurities because they're a part of us. Yeah, they're a part of this It's really nice. I fucking love it. Oh speaking of which what bob and I it's not a fact But we might we might be trying to do Copying a good friend of mine

No, we are gonna do it. Okay, we're gonna do these drive-in movie We're gonna try to do a drive-in movie theater that we might do we might do it in bakersfield Yeah, we're working it out. So um andrew and I bad friends and uh rudy will be there too Has to she has to be there on stage with us But we're gonna do a drive-in drive-in movie theater and then and you're gonna go well Why can't I just I just rather just listen to it, but we're gonna we're gonna go to car to car Yeah, we're gonna be around we're gonna be walking around we'll stick a sticker or something under your windshield We're gonna do a wave, you know, I mean just don't get out your cars or roll up the wind

It'll be very I promise you we're gonna make it we're gonna make it a whole thing. Yeah, wait. Let me tell you this one story Tell me stories. I love stories. No, no, no this this just reminded me though of that kind of thing I can I can't do that. I can't walk up to a restaurant and hey da da da da although no boo Malibu I it worked and it felt really good But it never really happens to me. Yeah, but I was in Chicago with Rogan doing a show and um We go to this place called bovets and buff one of my favorite steakhouses in Chicago, right This is very Rogan-esque

Rogan loves MMA doesn't like sport doesn't know sports things like sports are ridiculous. I'm like you like a sport How do you not like other sports, right? um A very famous Chicago Black Hawk hockey player walks up to us as we're walking in and is like Joe Rogan and Joe's like, hey, what's up, man? He's like, holy shit. I'm a huge fan. I'm a huge fan of corecraft. Hey, man. You're a huge fan. Da da da And he goes, oh cool, man, and then he walks and he's like What are you doing in town? He's like doing a show and he's like annoyed almost with him. Yeah, and he walks away

And I say to Joe I go Yeah, I was like, what the fuck and he's like, I don't know man And we walk up to the thing Joe Joe is on the phone and he's out by the car I go inside and I go, hey, we're looking to get a table. There's uh four of us and she's like Uh, we're totally booked. Like it's what do you like? She's looking at me like I'm a moron. Yeah, and I go I know it's late a late night thing and but um, is there any ways um I'm with Joe Rogan like Joe is here if we're in town doing the USC and you know, and she goes no I am sorry. I don't there's nothing nothing like that. I don't know what you she thinks I'm full of shit

So Joe comes walking in and the girl at the front is like Uh, Joe goes over. He's like, what's the deal? We can we is there any way we can sneak somewhere in here at all? Yeah, he's being so polite so nice and she's like, I don't have any dude before she can finish her sentence You see a guy. I mean, it's like out of a movie He's like talking to guests in like a nice suit and then he turns and he sees Joe and he's like And he just be lines and he goes Joe Rogan. What's what can we do? How can we help you? Where do you need to be tonight? Really? Yeah, and he's like, uh, we just want a table. He's like right this way and the girl was like

I don't know. I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She should get she should get fired. She got fired. She got fired She got fired. No, no But she should get fired But we sat down at the the most prime booth and the thing. Oh, it's the best and because it's him because I'm with him Yeah, it's an endless Pouring of meat. It's just like they like are shoving Yeah, five hours of just me just eating meat drinking blacking out It was like the most it's the opposite of what happened to me when Irvine when I told you

When I went to the restaurants, I did I told you that no Yes, I did when on this spot. Yes. I've told you. What did you do in Irvine? when I I didn't tell you no So I this is I can't anyone I don't want to this is embarrassing after seeing hearing that story actually Because I did the polar opposite. You know what I mean? Why? Tell me. All right We might have to cut it out though. Did you tell it on belly or something? I don't remember if I don't if I said

You hear the story before This just happened. So this happened in um February or February. Yeah, so, you know, I you know, I sold out the Irvine improv Yeah, which is a difficult to do very right very it's 500 say I feel the first time I ever sold out before Going there, you know, it felt good. Yeah, so I went there early. I go, you know what? I'm gonna show up, right? And I'm gonna have a nice dinner Before my show. Yeah, so I show up at the club And um

I go to the manager and they go, why are you here so early? I go, you know, I want to be mindful To get here early. So you're not worrying that the headlunner's not here Right, so I came early and then I'm gonna eat some dinner next door at Paul martinis or something like that Sure. So I walk in there and I go, hey, um I'm can I one? She goes, no She goes, no, we were three hour away And I go, yeah, but um, I'm by myself. I'm yeah, also I'm headlining literally next door

And I have to I have to perform No, we don't give a fuck. No It's I go, can I see the manager? Yeah, all right Jimmy jimmy comes. Yeah, I'm head like no Nope I go, but I'm headlining. Yeah, we don't we don't do that. We don't do that They didn't let you eat. No. So then what I go I go Hold on. I go next door to the Irvine improv and I go. Yeah, they said no

Right and they go. Yeah, okay And I go, I know but I go Yeah, but go over there with me. No, no, no And they go, but you know what we do have there's a Mexican restaurant right next to the next door to that Yep, we have connect. I'll call. We'll call. We have connection. It's really good. You'll love it So, okay, great. I'll have Mexican so they call I go over there Hey, excuse me. Um, no I go, but yeah, but they called we know

We know they called Irvine improv you getting shut down and I go But I go but I know but they called so you talk to them Yeah, they just we just got off the phone with them you idiot. We just said no, no, do you? And I go, you but I'm had like we don't give a fuck. No So I went back and I went to the manager of the ira and this is this is what this is a part that's gonna be embarrassing Yeah, I go I'm going home Shut up. I swear to god. I said that

Like an idiot like a fucking baby. You're like, I didn't know when give me food I don't like a fuck they go we have food here. I don't want to eat your diarrhea fucking written Infested fucking food here. How do you know it's diarrhea written? I don't know. I just don't like club food Did I get food poisoning from the your older run improv? I did. Yeah, I know. That's what I'm saying. I did you hear stories Yeah So, uh, I went to my car You pretended like you were gonna fucking leave. You're such an asshole And they're like pop. Where are you pop? No, they're like, what do you know what I mean?

And I I think I called like um some guy from AA You know what I mean to help you get through it. Yeah, I go I go I because I just got on uh, you know, you know You know, you were just pissed off I was just newly sober, you know, that was when you just got sober I was like a month and a half in you know, I mean, so I was just like really tender Yeah, and I was just like he's just like what are you doing? You gotta work dude. See it's not a big deal grow up

And I go, all right, I know but I'm just saying when you would Joe Rogan, right? It's a polar opposite. It was just it was just and I'll be honest with you I you know when I I when when I behave in that way, yeah But they somebody should have sat me by the way, but well, you're a single. It should have been easy to take one person I can I just defend my position real quick. Sure Is that the Irvine improv how many I mean you're talking about 2,500 people Yeah, it's a lot during the weekend that you're bringing in right. It's a lot of business

So you're bringing in business to those restaurants. Am I not right? The majority of that business is probably those people Don't you think? Yeah, right? Just give me a table That was my thinking right you're right. I should have done it differently. I was acting my ego got in the way Yeah, I I don't want to apologize that being said Fuck those fucking table. Give me a table. Okay. It is true. Yeah, it is true. Fuck those restaurants. Give me a table You can help me to fuck out. No, I can't pull any strings. Joe was the only reason that every time I've ever tried Yeah, they they don't even acknowledge it. Okay. I can one more story one more story. So Oh, this was a surprising to me

Jordan Peele and I he goes, let's go have lunch somewhere So we went to this restaurant on Los Feliz Boulevard Right little dinner. It was dinner. It was dinner like 6 p.m. Little Dom's. No, it wasn't little Dom's It was like it was called the lodge or some or something like that. Okay, or the living room some bullshit fucking thing like that and we walk into the lobby and We go. Hey, can we sit too? They're necessary reservations only and Jordan just goes

All right, walks out and I go Academy award nothing He won academy award nothing. It's so funny if he just brought his uh oscar and he's like hey No good, but don't you think that's fair? That's fair. I think it's fair No, you want it. You want it. You want it so you can do I think it's fair Did you get in the poway hall of fame by the way? I didn't I would never check they love it You would you crash the website still? Yeah, it's a I let it go

Um Bob, thank you for being a bad friend