Bad Friends - Bruce Wang & Wolverasian ft. Josh Peck

Episode Date: March 20, 2023

Tour Tickets: https://badfriendspod.com Thank you to our Sponsors: https://www.betterhelp.com/badfriends & https://displate.com/badfriends code: BADFRIENDS & https://vroom.com & https://www.bespokepost.com code: BADFRIENDS YouTube Subscribe: http://bit.ly/BadFriendsYouTube Merch: http://badfriendsmerch.com 0:00 Bad Friends on Tour 1:01 Happy Joe Lucky Bobby is Done with Women 5:03 The Reason We Hate Renaissance Fairs and Burning Man 9:11 The Hollywood Cabal & Their Facial Creams 19:19 The Positions Bobby is Not Great At 24:18 Juicy Finally Leaves Alone 30:40 You Are Not a Star! 35:52 Liar Liar 39:36 Working with Sir Ben Kingsley  44:09 Santino Took Dave from Josh Peck 55:15 Bobby is the New Wolverine 1:01:02 Josh Peck Doesn't Want to Play Asian Batman... or Does He? 1:05:35 Post Credit Conversation More Bobby Lee TigerBelly: https://www.youtube.com/tigerbelly Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bobbyleelive Twitter: https://twitter.com/bobbyleelive Tickets: https://bobbyleelive.com More Andrew Santino Whiskey Ginger:  https://www.youtube.com/andrewsantinowhiskeyginger   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino Twitter: https://Twitter.com/cheetosantino  Tickets: http://www.andrewsantino.com More Juicy Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jetskijohnson/?hl=en More Rudy Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/badfriendrudy More Fancy Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/fancyb.1 More Bad Friends iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-friends/id1496265971 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/badfriendspod/   Twitter: https://twitter.com/badfriends_pod   Official Website: http://badfriendspod.com/ Opening Credits and Branding: https://www.instagram.com/joseph_faria & https://www.instagram.com/jenna_sunday Credit Sequence Music: http://bit.ly/RocomMusic // https://www.instagram.com/rocom  Character Design: https://www.instagram.com/jeffreymyles Bad Friends Mosaic Sign: https://www.instagram.com/tedmunzmosaicart Produced by: 7EQUIS https://www.7equis.net/ Podcast Producers: Andrés Rosende & Pete Forthun This video contains paid promotion. #bobbylee #andrewsantino #badfriends Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I'm Jody. And I'm Dan. We're from AutoTrader! And we know car stuff can be complicated, but Own the Road with AutoTrader is a podcast making car stuff simple for Canadians. We're friends. But also car experts. And we're here to answer your most common car questions. Bust some myths. And whether you're a car person or not, we promise you'll learn something or at least get a laugh. Find Own the Road with AutoTrader wherever you get your podcasts. Hey Jody, where do you get your podcasts? Everywhere. Hey Bad Friends fans, I'm still down on the night. And I can't wait to get back to the US of A to go on tour. Me and Bob and the crew are coming to your city.

We're doing 33, 34 cities. Who knows? But go to BadFriendsPod.com. BadFriendsPod.com to get those tickets. That's the place we added dates. We added cities. We added shows. BadFriendsPod.com. And also Oklahoma City, St. Louis, Louisville, Nashville, Memphis, Norfolk, Virginia, Durham and Charlotte. Where are you at? You guys are the cities that we're coming to that you may not know about because we added dates and added times. So go to BadFriendsPod.com to get those tickets to see me and Bob and the crew. Do stand up. Do stuff from the show. Do all sorts of fan interactions. Have the best time of your life. I love you very much. Thank you for being a bad friend. You two are bad friends. These two idiots.

Why, dude? I'm an Asian dude. You two are disgusting. You two are something. We're bad friends. I feel like I'm a happy Joe. Happy Joe Lucky. Happy Lucky Joe. I'm a happy Lucky Joe. Happy Joe. How do you say it? Happy Go Lucky. Happy Go Lucky. I don't know where Jim came from. You know these American like sayings and lingos? I don't know much about them. You know what I mean?

Capiche? I know what Capiche is. That's Italian. Oh, right, right, right. Capiche. What does that mean? No idea. Is it a food? No, Capiche. I understand. I feel like I've had Capiche on bread before. No. That's Capricci. Oh, that's Capricci. Anyway, let's start.

We're bad friends. Can I tell you something? Yeah. I'm done. I know you already told us. I'll tell you why. Women. They be a cray-cray. They are cray-cray. Okay. I set up dates. They cancel.

Right? Wow. They say, oh, I want to date somebody younger. Who? They flaky. Let's hang out and then you text them three or four times. No response. Wow. Women be crazy. Cray-cray, I said. Okay. Let's introduce the people in the room.

Let's start. Let's start there. Josh Peck. I'm telling you, man, I love you, man. You're a good guy. I love you. You're a good guy. And I really honestly, like, you know, dude, I'll be honest with you, dude, you could be one of the best guys. Thank you. It's in your eyes. It crinkles. Wow.

You know, I've said this before. When you see this, the crow's feet is because they're smiling. Do you know that? Mm-hmm. They smile a lot. Am I a good white? Oh, you said that was, like, so good. I know you made me a good white. Thank you. You're one of the best whites. They should bring rickshaw's back, but that's just my own opinion.

They'd still have them in some places. Really? Yeah. I don't think they haven't seen a rickshaw in years. Well, is a rickshaw different than a tuk-tuk? Yeah, a rickshaw is, that's not a rickshaw. That's a rickshaw. Oh, like a human power. The human is the cut, right?

So imagine having a rickshaw but having Uber. Yeah. Oh, that'd be so cool. You'd be in such good shape. Right, but also you call your Uber three hours later, he's still not there. Right. He's just coming up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You think Greta Thunberg wants human-powered rickshaw's?

That's her name. I think. I don't know her name, but I'm sure it's not Thunberg. I'm pretty sure it is. It's, I think, Greta Thornberg. Thunberg? I think it's Thunberg, but then I think the proper, like, proper, proper. Yes.

Thun. You would know. Thank you. That's right, my bad. I apologize. Good white. You think he's a good white? Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So kind. Same to you. Yeah. Thank you. But back when they had rickshaw's, let me ask you, were there no horsies around? Must have been. Right.

Like, who was the first guy to do that? Like, should I get on your back? No, let me come up with something. Yeah. You know what I mean? Right. And then a year later, it's like, look at, you know what I mean? I don't know.

Where was it? Where was it mostly? Asia. Right. You don't see rickshaw's in Africa, right? Detroit. It'd be so fast in Africa. You mean the best rickshaw show?

I got like Carl Lewis, just, you know what I mean? What? You can't, we were like, that's funny. Right. Having a rickshaw. Right, in Ireland, you'd go in circles. They're so drunk. Right.

You would never get to wherever you're going. Right. Rickshaw's in a, that's it. That's all you got. Yeah, yeah, that's all I got. I feel like they still have them in like the Renaissance festival. No. I'm pretty sure if you go to the Renaissance festival.

It's a carriage. No. They would have a carriage. I think some people do it. So why people did do rickshaw's back in the day? Well, the Renaissance festival isn't entirely based on fact. I don't think so. I think some of it's made.

Who goes to Renaissance festivals? Who goes? Yeah. I love the Renaissance festival. What do you love about it? Well, my dad and my step-mom got married there. So I grew up there. Stop, what?

Stop, stop. I never told you that. I just, does it make any sense? So your mom and your step-dad? No, my dad and my step-mom. Your dad and your step-mom got married at a Renaissance festival. Yeah. Did they dress up as well?

Oh, yeah. We all did. Like a maiden. Your dad's like, I'm Legolas. Pretty much. Yeah, yeah. Wow. Call me Fryer Tuck.

Wow. He really did have long hair at the time. And why? They love medieval times. We'd go to the Renaissance festival every year. We had friends. They had friends who worked at a shop there. We'd even go there off season and see the bear like when people just live there.

People live there? Yeah. People live at a Renaissance fair? Yeah. Some of those shops are just like houses. Are you fucking kidding me? No. So they live like the people did in the medieval times?

More or less. So there's no flushing toilet? And I think they have plumbing. Well, that's cheating. Yeah. If you're going to go all the way. Yeah. You eat their fucking food.

Yeah. Right? Like big turkey legs. Big turkey legs. Yeah. Or starve at times. How do you guys not like the renfe? It's so far.

Let me guess. Because Asians weren't around then? It's one of those things where it's like, if I was there, I'd be like, yeah, I don't belong here. Jews too. Jews too. We don't belong there. We don't belong there either.

I never thought of it like that. I'm sorry. I've been very ignorant. But you guys can go now. But it's so weird. I'm a grown up. Yeah, me too. I wouldn't even go to Burning Man.

Would you? Do you go? Burning Man. Yeah. No. I've had so many people who have had me. Yeah. What's wrong with them?

What are they searching for? And you're sober, right? Yeah. Yeah. You know, I know some sober people that go there too. I hear that too. Yeah. I think with...

I really don't know because there's the things that I don't like about it is sand. I don't like sand. Do you like sand? No one likes sand. No one likes sand. You like sand? I grew up in the desert. I grew up in Arizona.

What the fuck? In a wig one? Yeah, yeah. You were in a prefab house with the Spanish line. We have sand in LA as well. Yeah. But I like a fun thing to do on a Saturday was go walk around the desert. Yeah.

Okay. Where the scorpions live. Here's another thing I don't like. Fire dancing. It's so dumb. No. Look at me. I'm, you know, I'm jump roping, but these are fucking, this is on fire.

Yeah. And then they do these moves and everyone goes, oh, yeah. Do you like it? Be honest. Have you seen a fire dance before? I don't like any of... I have two kids. I drive it.

I drive the lower end Tesla. Right. Oh, you do? Yeah. I'm very economical. But you could get a higher end. I did. And then Elon raised the prices and I couldn't justify it in my mind.

But you could still do it. Sure. Oh, so you don't... So if you and I were like, let's go to dinner. It's my birthday. And I go, I want to go to this restaurant. Are you going to be like, no? Oh, yeah.

No, I'm going to spend on that. Because I'm a big... A, I'm a big boy. A, I'm a sober king. So food is my final frontier. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm just not going to spend money to go to 10 days in Nevada with someone named, you

know, Sage. Yeah. A guy named Sage. Yeah. A dude named Sage telling me about like how the banking systems failing. That might be true. But like, you know what I mean? Yeah.

I don't want to have these conversations. Yeah. And also it's like, I don't want... I have money. Yeah. They trade. Here's a Snickers bar for a fucking, you know what I mean? Massage.

Yeah. Or tissue paper. Yeah. It's like, I could go to Vons, bitch. Yeah. Right. And I have money. I could go to Four Seasons.

What's better? Four Seasons or the desert? It's Four Seasons. Yeah. But these people, like Sage and conspiracy theorists and all these people, like, here's the problem. If they're right, let's just fucking end things. You know, because like, I don't want to believe that a guy named Sage knows what's really

up. Fucking my thoughts. Exactly. Let's end it all. Let's end it all. Dude. Yeah. Because I don't have to say this, man.

I dated a girl, right? Who believes that we're, Hollywood is this big cabal of pedophiles, right? And they drink, they drink babies blood, right? Yeah. Yeah. And I looked at her. Adrenochrome. Adrenochrome.

Yeah. Right. And then her argument was this. Well, Sandra Bullock ate baby. Cannibalism. I go, how? She bought a cream, a face cream, and they use baby circumcised the tip for skin. It's called the foreskin.

They call the foreskin? Yeah. I call it the tip. I mean, when I say tip, do you not understand what I'm saying? Right. But I, I use the proper tip. Okay. Foreskin.

All right. To each his own. But all right. Foreskin. So they take the foreskin of a baby, right? And I don't know how they remove that, but I'm sure it's quick. The scalpel. Really?

Yeah. You can just tear it off. I have two kids that had to do it. Oh, you did it. No, no. I didn't do it, but I was in the room outside. Oh, that'd be cool if you did it. I'd be nervous.

But in a Jewish ceremony, it's the rabbi doing it. I thought that, I thought in Jew, let me ask you about Judaism. Please, I'm here. Who knows you're something? I thought that Judaism's don't do it. They leave the skin on. No, we created it. Yeah.

What do you mean? They, they're all doing it. Yeah. Yeah. So you do cut it off. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, you guys created it.

Yeah. Because all right, I thought that was a Judaism that they don't. You haven't seen the journalist list? Let's sit. Stop, stop, stop, stop. Literally, this is the first time I want to say this, okay? Not one word that I understand. Not one word that I understand.

And I think your problem is this, okay? You see a window of opportunity to talk, but you just, because you think it's me and I'm going to cut you off. So you do it as quick as you can. And it comes out weird. So let me tell you something, bud, all right? How about this? Do you give me a symbol, right?

When you're going to say something, right? And I'll give you 10 seconds. I'll give you 10 seconds, dude. And you say it slow. So I'll give you that moment again, okay? He needs a verbal crossing, right? Yeah. Yeah.

So, um, I think I got what you're saying. Have I ever seen Shinler's list? Yes. Yes, I did. Great movie. Right. But what's the point? And that's how they discover who's a Jew and who's not.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. It's a rough time. It was a rough time. Yeah. I'm too sorry. Thanks. Yeah.

I don't think you had anything to do with your people. We didn't, no. But, um, because, you know, we had rick shots and to get over there, it's a long way. Yeah. But we know we've been oppressed as well, Koreans, but, um, what you guys suffered anyway, really sad time. But my, so let's, so anyway, Sandra Bullock got a cream with the circumcised. With the foreskin.

Foreskin. What's going to say? Yeah. With the foreskin. With the tip. Right. And shoot. And then this girl that was dating goes, but that's cannibalism because it's like she's

absorbing it through her face. That's consuming. And I go, I don't know if that's quite the same thing as cannibalism, but, you know, what do you think? Where were they getting the foreskin from? Like. They are, I think, well, the Korean foreskins, they're not getting like fucking, you know what I mean?

Like Korean foreskins. No, they're making a company that's making face cream uses foreskins in their fucking career. There's no way you're thinking maybe like stem cells or something. No, that's what she said. Well, that girl is wild. Look it up. That girl is insane.

There's no way. Why? Why? I tried the foreskin facial treatment. Okay. I stand corrected. Yeah. They're doing it.

The foreskin. From who? Who's donating that? The baby. First of all, let me ask you, when you have a baby, right, let me ask you something. When you have a baby, you can go, I'm going to take that home. They don't take it home. They put it in the fucking red basket.

Yeah. But then it's done, right? You think L'Oreal has a baby farm? That's that. But that's that's what France or whatever. What was that? America? It's a Korean cream.

What L'Oreal is? No, no, no. You were saying the Korean foreskin do it differently. We use everything. Fuck yeah. You do. You know, if they kill a pig, we use all of it. I love that.

Yeah. Yeah. So but she's saying that the absorbent and that's cannibalism, do you think you agree? I wouldn't call it cannibalism, but it is in a byproduct of a human. Yeah. Do you think eating a human would taste good? That's a fair. I've thought about this so many times.

I really have. Let's jump in. Tasteful. It depends on you. Prepare it. Fair. You know, I don't think I could do sashimi. No.

Right. Like what? Tartar. Rick Tartar. Yeah. Steve Tartar. Even in a bruschetta, I don't think I would want it. Yeah.

I think I need it. Cooked. Yeah. Well done. What do you think? Season blackened. Yeah. Yeah.

Cajun. Like a Cajun anything. Cajun Dan. Yeah. Cajun Dan. What if you could like get some of its powers through that? Oh, yeah. Yeah.

My dick got longer or something. That'd be cool. I once had a dinner with the guy who was at the forefront of like the FDA approved penis enlargement surgery. What? Yeah. Like there's an actual like they cut it in the middle. They extend it.

It heals. And then all the collagen that gets built up, everything sort of like replaces and you're like you can gain an inch. It's mostly for growers, not showers, you know what I'm saying? Yeah. Yeah. It's for growers. Because I'm a grower.

Right. Right. So when I'm in a spa, you know what I mean? And I'm there with other people. I kind of want to say to people, like I don't think they care, but I just want to say that to people. Like it grows. Right.

But you don't say you say it in your mind. You know what I mean? You'd be weird if you said it out loud. You know what I mean? You'll sign it. But I just want people to know. I feel like girls right now, they don't want to date me because they think my dick's small, but it's not.

You talk about it a lot though. About what? Your penis. I love it. Yeah. And you talk about how it gets bigger than it looks. You're really poking at me today. I don't mean to.

I'm in a real vulnerable place, man. You're really poking. I don't mean to. Yeah. I'm sorry for bringing it up all the time. No. I mean, any girls dates you should know. Yeah.

Why are they surprised? That's all. That's all I wanted to know. There's people that listen to this podcast, I'm just throwing it out there. I can't believe these girls aren't texting you back. That's so rude. You think so? Yeah.

Thank you so much. I think you're on my side. I am. And it feels good. Yeah. Let's go back to eating. When was your last physical rendezvous? This show is sponsored by BetterHelp.

You guys, BetterHelp has helped me and Andrew through a lot. It's online therapy. It's the best out there. Bob and I have talked so much about BetterHelp and about talking to someone. And I think when you're at your best, you can do very, very great things. But sometimes life gets you bogged down. You get sad. You get confused.

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When I was a kid. Big art fan. I was a kid, Andrew, right? Yeah. I had depeche mode. And over the years, they get ripped. The corners, right? The corners, everything.

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You can get one installed for a low monthly rate, including professional installation from our licensed electricians. We'll even look after any necessary electrical panel upgrades. So don't wait and get a level two charger today. To learn more, visit reliancehomecomfort.com. Before I went on my trip, so I had a physical rendezvous with somebody that I had met one time, she's beautiful, and we had sexual intercourse. I don't like how you said that.

Why? I don't know. It sounded like clinical. Yeah. I'm very clinical about it. I don't fucking love the whole thing. Now, I'm very like, get on your back. Yeah, man.

I'm very precise. Yeah. I need stage directions. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like when I have fuck people, it's like, you know what I mean? Walk in the room. Paper sheets.

Right. Say this line. Put it over again. Sure. If they get it fucked up. Fuck it up. Yeah. And then I go, um, but doggie, generally they have to lead me into that.

I don't do doggie. Because you're kind of, there's no way out of this. Yeah. You go ahead. Because you're a little. Go ahead. Draw. Well.

We're friends. The reality is. You're a good white. Go ahead. Because if you're a smaller stature, then because say it the way you mean it. You used to say about that you were, because she's a taller, yeah, that it was the proportions were tough. You know, it was like two puzzle pieces that look like they should fit.

And then you put them together and you go, no, this, it's a corner piece. Yeah. But I have to say, all right, my argument against that though is I don't think it's that anymore. Okay. Yeah. I just think that balancing, you know, I'm not a balancer. I wouldn't be a good like, um, stewardess.

Is that an airplane stewardess? No. Uh, what do you call them? Flight attendant. I wouldn't be a flight attendant. I'm just not good at. Balancing. Yeah.

I just be like, whoa. You're coffee. Yeah. The drinks would. Yeah. So, um, that's not good for me. The log thing. I'm not good at.

Were there? No. You put a log in the lake. You didn't put a log in the lake. I thought that was a sexual position. No. Yeah. The log in the lake that.

Sure. Sure. Yeah. I wouldn't be good at that. Fair. Yeah. What other positions aren't you great at? I'm not good at.

Side. I'm not good at side. Everyone's good at side. I'm not good at side. Cause you just get to kind of rest. I know, but you still have to do. I think you're exercising muscles that I don't exercise. Right.

So I imagine you're on the side, right? This muscle right here on my right side. If I'm. Yeah. See, it hurts right now. Right. So I don't really use this muscle. So it's not developed.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, they should have, they should have a school or something. Or, you know, it would come up with an actual like mechanism, like a weight lifting, you know, mechanism that, um, strengthens the muscles that you would use in sexual positions. Yeah. Why don't they have that? Why don't they have that?

You know what I mean? Seems simple. Right. And so one of them will say like side position. And then you just have it like a little thing. And you know what I mean? It's something that you just kind of work on. You know what I mean?

Male porn stars could teach it like. That's true. Manuel Ferrera. Or. They do it like Peloton. Rocco Sifredi. We do it like Peloton where they're on the screen. Yeah.

You know what I mean? All right guys, get on your side. And one, two. Right. Right. But they both have Italian accents. They do? Yeah.

Yeah. I'm on the machine. I'm on the machine. Go ahead. I'm turning it on. Okay. Here we go. Welcome guys.

Wow. Good job. Yeah. Now you have to really use your hips, Bobby. Yeah. Nice. Very good. Thank you.

That's something we should come up with. I think so. Yeah. I think we're in there. I think we're remiss. Yeah. So I don't, I'm not good at side. Are you good at side?

Yeah. Great at it. Wow. That's a bold statement. I really, I'm really working hard in there. I want to be, I want to impress. I want to, yeah, I can tell. You can tell I don't have a dad when I'm having sex.

Oh. There's some rage. No. It's just like, come home. Oh. Come home, sex. Really good. Will you come home dad?

Wow. So there's some vulnerability there then. Maybe. Yeah. I'm at a walking vulnerable. Let's be honest. Yeah. Yeah.

Do you initiate or no? I feel like if I initiated as many times as I'm feeling like I want to, it would, the level of rejection would kill me. From your wife? Just because it's not, like I would just do it every day. And I think what I've learned is that's not reasonable. I don't think it's healthy though, do you think or no? Every day.

Every day? I think it's probably healthy. But it feels good. It's so fun. It seems healthy, yeah. Yeah, right? Yeah. Why not?

But what's it like living alone? Yeah. It's amazing. I could do whatever I want, whenever I want. I feel really free. I feel like a lot of my stuff was in storage for the last few years and I finally unpacked it and I feel like I've got a part of myself back that's been missing for a long time and I feel like the success I've gotten from this podcast and from Bobby, it's now physically

represented in my space and I feel like I have a home to go home to. That really touches me. I'm so happy. Me too. Right? It's the freedom of that. She deserves it, I think. Yeah, I think you do deserve it.

You do deserve it. And I want to say that I want to do a contest to see who can cry first. No, you're a better actor. Not necessarily. I think you are. I just feel coming. Sorry. All right, go.

You go first. No, I can't. Yeah, yeah. Well, you could tap into it, right? No, I'm just very... You're really... I'll be your happy for her. I'm happy for her.

Oh, I know the... I know the... I'm so happy for you too. I'm so happy for you. You're pushing. I'm pushing. I know. I'm pushing.

I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know.

I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know.

I know you. Yeah. I know. Thank you. It's... I know that. I know. I know.

I know. I know. I know. Yeah. Congratulations. Congratulations. I mean, yeah, yeah. It's so funny.

It's so funny. I got a lot of help. Obviously Bobbie... I couldn't have done it without Bobbie in the podcast, but... That's not going to make me cry. Yeah, yeah. But he gave you a call? Yeah.

He made a call for you? Yeah. Be the good dude. I saw him last night. What a good dude. They mailed it to my house, and then he's also getting a new TV, so I'm getting all his old stuff. But he's rich, so his old stuff is cool to me.

He mentioned the last night he got a new TV. I'm getting the old one. Oh, that's amazing. Yeah. I want to give back to my peers, but my stuff's not as cool. So what do you have to give back to the people below you? I have, like, my toothbrush. I think I'm going to get an electric one.

A good? Really? Yeah, so I'll give him my old one. So you're really changing every aspect of your life right now? Yeah, I would say so, and I've been hiking a lot with my dog, and everything's good. I'm getting right into routine right before we go on tour. But watch, though.

I think you're still, you OK? I'm getting there. OK, good. Yeah. And I don't want to be, I just want to warn you, right? Some of the people that you started with, they might start turning. Be very careful.

What do you guys mean? What do you mean? What do you mean to? What do you mean? You're shaking your head, yes. Yeah, they're going to fucking hate you. Why? Because that's because when you become successful,

some people around you, they change, right? And they start talking shit behind your back. They become hostile. Not in front of you sometimes, but it's hidden. But be very careful. Well, can you give me some examples of what to be careful? OK, I'll give you an example. Me and Char, I'll give you an example.

You, OK, we work at the comedy store, right? Because she works at the comedy store as a sometimes a lot person, the door, right? We got the same job years ago with you, right? We were a lot people together, door people together, Josh and I, right? OK. And we're still at the same level as we were, right?

You're taking off, right? And we would probably go, hey, Jess, how are you? How's things going? Good. How are you guys? Same, same, same. Same. Yeah.

Anyway, see you later. She leaves and then him and I have a one hour. Yeah. Rip. Ooh. Who the fuck did she? Helix Masters. Cheslenack.

She never stops talking about Cheslenack. Cheslenack. Cheslenack. Cheslenack. Cheslenack. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, god. That happens.

Yeah. Oh, my god. And it's probably happening now. What? You're such a good person that it doesn't even matter. Pray for your enemies. Yeah. And then make a list.

Do you still have? Because you're doing better than you've ever done, Bobby. And I'm not just saying that. Just take it in. God bless you. Take care. Take it in. How about that?

Do you still have an active list of your enemies? Oh, yeah. It's not an active. It's not. They're not enemies in the sense of people that I have my eye on. Sure. You're right. I get it.

Like, you know, I have my eye on them. And if they say stuff or they behave in a way that feels weird to me, I don't lash out. I just, I write it down. I write it down in my mind. Yeah. You know what I mean? She said this.

He said this. He did this. You know what I mean? It's always something very passive-aggressive. Or there was this one comic who this person is probably going to hear this right now. But I'll just say it. I help this person out a lot.

And then this person was bringing me up on stage at the comedy store. When this person was bringing up, they said, they said, they said, oh, this next guy hasn't changed that act in 20 years. And it's like 1980s type of comedy. But if you're into that, here he is. Right?

And I was in the back. And this person's doing well. I was in the back, and you could just see my fucking brain swirling and my resentment rising. And just, and then I went up. I was fine. I didn't rip this person apart. But I had my eye on them.

I don't think Nikki Glade's really listening to me. You're good. You're good. Hey, what's up, Nikki? I love Nikki. Nikki's the fucking best. I love her so fucking much. She is awesome.

She's my sister. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's nothing. But that was very good, though. Nikki, I love you, OK? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, but do you have resentments or you have enemies? Yeah, plenty.

You do, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are there actors? Other actors, just people, casting directors, producers. Oh, dude, casting directors is huge for me. Oh, my god. Yeah. Huge.

Yeah. Yeah. Because they say things to my agent. And my agent says things to me that he doesn't hide. That's good, though. I like it that way. It's right. He says it like word for word.

Yeah, she just doesn't think you're talented. No. Or something like that. No, it's true. And you hear it and you go, OK, thanks for telling me the way it is. Enjoy your 10%. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And I hang up and I'll just sit there. What I just said there wasn't that big of an exaggeration. That's crazy. I've had people say, casting directors has got he's not a star and things of that nature. What does that mean? I don't know. Who's a star in Brad Damon, Brad Pitt?

That's different, though. No one is. Those are anomalies. That's a total top of the. Yeah, yeah. Like, so who's a star in your ballpark? Ronnie Chang. And so they would say, like, he's not Ronnie Chang.

Yeah. He doesn't have the Chang effect. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He doesn't have the Chang effect. That's exactly the way you just said that, Rush. Really fucking hit on. Thank you so much. It's something that I would hear probably, though.

He doesn't have the, you know, I mean, Jung is the number one guy. Ken Jung is the number one guy. Still? No, but there was there was a time where I would hear that. Right. Like your third in line, but Ken's going to do it. Stuff like that.

And that's fine when other actors beat me out of here. That's fine. Right. It's just when cast or these like gatekeepers, you know what I mean? When you can tell they don't like you, you can just tell. Yeah. Right.

And you don't know how to respect because I don't, you know, you and I, we're both recovering alcoholics. Can I say that? Please. Right. So we're very sensitive. The most. Dude, I'm so sensitive.

Yeah. I mean, you guys know how sensitive I am, right? Look at them. They're all nodding their heads. Yeah, they need a camera. I'm like a fucking open sore of sensitivity, right? Same. So it's like, I sometimes when I hear the information

or I'm sensing something and I'm trying to like get to a healthy place with it, it's so difficult for me. I spend sometimes days dwelling on something. Right. Right. And then it gets to a point where it's like, oh, there's nothing I can do. Can I tell you a funny story?

Yeah, go ahead. I once after I've seen the same therapist for over 15 years. So he's literally heard the same shit every Thursday. Right. Yeah, yeah. One time I'm lamented about where I am at my career and I mentioned these two actors and Seth Rogen. Yeah.

Who are just so far ahead of me. And he goes, you know, and he's this guy's like good to me, like always on my side, always because he knows how hard I am on myself. He goes, well, to me, I've never heard of those other two. Guys. And then he goes, but you're never going to be Seth Rogen. Oh, you're who said that therapist.

Your therapist said that. But he's right. No, he's not in the sense of he's not. He's not. He's not. He was just. No, I'm making him sound worse. That's insane.

I love you. Go start. I love you, Tom. Right, Tom. No, but what I'm saying is it's like he was like that he said, Seth Rogen is a generational talent. Like what you said before, Matt Damon and the other person you said, like these are generational folk.

So they are in a their Zeus. They're they're the gods. But can I just say this though? Let me make that argument. All right. OK, there was a time where Bob Odenkirk what has been around for a very long time. And before breaking bad, you would have never said

you know, somebody would have said to Bob Odenkirk, you're never going to be like so and so. But now he's exceeded them. My point is, is that it can happen at any time in life, right? You have the talent, you have the likeability, you have the know how, but you never know. Right.

So that's that that statement is just not true to me. Because Odenkirk is killing it. Killing it. Yeah. And he is old. Brian Cranston before fucking breaking bad. Yes. I mean, he was the fucking father on Malcolm in the middle.

He'll never if he'll he'll never be Daenerys. In many ways, he's cooler. Brian Cranston. Yeah. Yeah. It's only one Daenerys. I know it's Robert Daenerys. But there's only one Brian Cranston.

These shoes. That's true. You're right. You're never going to be Robert Daenerys. I didn't I didn't move with Al Pacino and he was so cool. And I literally was this close to him. And I was like, there's only one of you. I mean, I was this close.

You said that out loud. Well, you said there's only one of you out of Al Pacino. That's what you said. And he was. Oh, what do you mean? Really? The one thing I always remember is we're doing a scene together and halfway through he goes, I'm exhausted.

Wow. And I was like, yeah, dude, it's a lot. Like he was in his early 70s, but he was the coolest. The coolest. What movie was it? It's called Danny Collins. Crazy cast. Really?

Who else is in it? Annette Benning. Oh my god. Christopher Plummer. Holy shit. Bobby Cannavale. You know what's so great about you is that you can live in both worlds.

Isn't that great? I'm lucky. Yeah. I'm really lucky. And that's in many ways some of these people are talking. What are you looking up? It's Danny Collins. Oh, cool.

Yeah, yeah, I know. I know him. Let's move on. It's a fictional character. Oh, that's it. Oh, that's the name of the movie. Oh, that's a movie. That's a movie.

You're such a liar. I just lied. I'm just sorry. I got caught in a lie. I got caught in a lie. Do you find yourself lying more or less with how successful you are? I lie more.

I lie. It's not that I lie. I just don't tell the truth. Sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just things come out. I don't have a thing where it's like, because it's like when I want to move on from something,

I lie. Like if I walk in our street and go, hey, did you see John McClellan in the movie? Yeah. And I go, yeah, great. Because I don't want to get, I don't want him to try to pitch it to me. Yeah, you got to see it because this performance

is a performance of a lifetime. You know what I mean? And I just want to move on. I love that movie. He's going to win an Oscar. And I'll just move on. I lie in that way. What about if someone goes like, hey, Rick says hi.

And you have no idea who Rick is. Oh, that's I love those. Tell Rick I said hi. I love him. Let me do it. Let me do it. All right, go ahead. Bobby.

Yeah. Hey, Rick says hi. Tell Rick I love him. I will. OK. His mom's sick. Rick has a mom? She's doing bad.

Rick's doing bad. You're right. But maybe you're Rick. Right. And you could be Rick in that situation. So do it again. Do it again. Hey, Bobby, Rick says hi.

Come on, Rick. Vroom.com. Vroom.com, baby. With vroom.com, you can shop thousands of cars right from your phone and have your next ride delivered straight to you just like Bobby did and I did for my mom. You got your car. And your mom got a car.

And my mom got a car on vroom.com. I love it. You know why? Why? I'm not going around from dealership to dealership. That's why I did. You said, you said, hey. I said, no more.

Can I do it from my phone? Yeah, vroom is the better way to buy your next ride, guys. You know what it is? You never have to haggle or negotiate. Is that what it is? That is. You got a full week. I talked to Bob.

He goes, what if I don't like the car? I said, dude, this is the best part. You get a full week or 250 miles, whichever comes first, to make sure you like the ride. And if you don't know by 250 or a full week, come on, man. You don't know. All the cars, Andrew, on vroom.com, come with a 90-day limited warranty

and a one-year of roadside assistance nationwide. All over. Give you peace of mind while on the road. You can trade in your old car, Bob, your old car I know you. Well, you gave it to Jules, but you still could trade it in. I said, I traded it. You should have. Or, by the way, you could just sell your car to vroom.

Just give it to him. When you sell your car on vroom, you get a price instantaneously. There's no haggling and none of that back and forth. You, you too, at home, you can buy a car from vroom entirely online. So next time you need to buy a car, just grab your phone, go to vroom.com, and check out thousands of cars.

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K Blanchett, but then Ben Kingsley, too. Me, too. Sir Ben. You worked with Sir Ben? Did you have to call him Sir Ben? Yeah. Me, too. Yeah, they told me to do it.

Yeah, they do tell you. Yeah, yeah. When you show up, you've got to call him Sir Ben. I go, Ben, who? Kingsley. I don't know him. You can't do that. I go, Sir Ben.

OK, so and then when I said Sir Ben, you know, he's really sweet. The best. The best. He sat on a couch and I was sitting there. He just sat down because it's backer or whatever. And we were between the cameras. He didn't want to go, what's so funny?

I don't know. Why is it backer? I don't know. I don't know if it's hurt, but he went, I, I, I, I, I, or something. Yeah, I mean, it could have, it might not hurt. You think I'm lying? Yeah, possibly.

Yeah, yeah. He sat down, though. OK. You think that he, you think I'm lying about that? I believe that. OK. You know, Pete, I tell you something about that, right? So, and then I, I don't know how we got into it.

We talked about Gandhi, right? And he goes, did you know that a million people showed up for that scene? So when you're watching it, because in the movie, Gandhi, you see everyone picking up Gandhi, right? In, in today's world, you would see G, G, I, all that in. But back in the day, in the 80s, they, a million people showed up because they knew

that they were doing a movie about Gandhi, about his death. And they all, if you watch the movie, people are just carrying him. Wow. You know how insane? Imagine like the A.D. on that show. I mean, we'd be fucking nightmare, right? COVID protocols.

Yeah. Well, thank God, you're right. I'm actually testing all those guys. Six feet. Yeah. Does what he did in Gandhi, Serben, does that seem like magic to you? What do you mean?

Like I do, there are certain performances where I can, even great performances, where I can be like, I can see the, the sleight of hand. I can see the trek. Right. And then there are some performances where I'm like, I don't know how he did that. You, yeah, you kind of, it could be a documentary.

Is that what you're saying? Like some Daniel Day Lewis shit. Oh, yeah. That high level. Well, because as a young, young person watching it, I didn't know who Ben, I thought it was an Indian, an old Indian guy, right? You don't know that he's an English dude.

You know what I mean? But he, you ever seen that movie? In fact, when you say, you know, Daniel Day Lewis is in the movie. Right. Did you know he was in Gandhi? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He plays a street thug and he has six lines.

Wow. Do you guys know that Daniel Day Lewis? And he's, he's in high school, I think. Put, look up Daniel, yeah. Wow. Yeah, he's a kid. That's like Sam Rockwell has one scene in Basquiat. No.

Yeah, but he's like, and he's really good and really young, but he's still like Sam Rockwell. So he's like beating up Basquiat. And he's like, hey, man, give me your money. Oh, really? Hey, man. Yeah. Oh, wow.

It's like, I'm beating you up, Basquiat. Do you play video games? No, I have sex with girls. Fuck you. Fuck you. You're OK white now. You guys play? So, so white.

I did. You guys, are you playing Hogwarts Legacy? No. Is it the number one game? To ever be created? Sorry. No, I just took a second to hear what you say. Hogwarts Legacy?

Yeah, no. You know what it is? It's Harry Potter, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's a, it's a, it's, you know, you create your own little guy and you explore the world. I have some issues with it, but I don't want to talk about it now because you guys aren't.

It looks awesome. It's not. But I don't have that game thing. Yeah, it's not. It's not PlayStation. Would you talk about this with Santino? He's not a gamer. No, but he would get mad.

He would get angry. Yeah, fucking. Yeah, but he talks about golf. What do I give a fuck? Golf. Stop it. Do you play it? No.

That's why I love you. Do I play golf? Yeah, I hate my life enough. I know. I need another thing to be frustrated about. Exactly. By the way, ping pong. Ping pong, not.

I know you're good at ping pong. No, but if it was at a fucking deep, I like ping pong because you could put it at a beach party. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can't play golf in a beach party. Golf is expensive. It's expensive as fuck. It's a whole thing.

Many country clubs are anti-semitic. Yeah, that's a good thing or bad thing. Historically negative. I don't even know what's anti-semitic. Bobby is going to pick up golf now. I think really anti-semitic. I just you just cut to Bobby like. So happy.

Really, they're anti-semitic. Yeah, it's fine. What can you do? You know, Santino has beaten me out for many roles. I thought that'd be a fun thing to bring up. He has. Like what? Dave.

Whoa. Wait, wait, wait. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I knew you thought this. I love this so much. Number one, you'd be better. I'd be different. Better in a different way. Less red.

Right. Less red. More pleasing to the eye. Yeah, no, pleasing to the eye. Depends what you're into. Right. Not as much of a super healer. He's a great actor, though.

He is. He's a great everything. He's a great actor. He can do everything. He really can annoy the fuck out of me. This last week, he's been annoying with the fuck out of me. Why? Because I don't post enough about our tour.

And it's like, you know, look at my fuck. I don't post at all. But it's as opposed. I put the thing dates down. I restore everyone they store it. But he's still like at 2 in the morning will call me from Australia. What the fuck, man?

Am I in this alone? Whatever. It's like I don't even pick up his fucking phone calling. Yeah. I hate him. Wait. I hate him.

Do the finger thing, and then take your time. I'm going to read a text from Andrew to me. I hate him. I think he refers to you. I hate him. He said, I'm going to call him that. Call him, call him, call him. Fucking piece of shit.

I hate him. You said that? By the way, he beat me for that part, too. You know, Shirley and Robbie. No way. I'm over it. Are you over it? Well, we'll see.

I know because if it's great. Oh, it's going to kill me. It'll kill me, too. It's great. You guys, he's our friend. Not my friend. Never met him, but now he's great. Oh, well, well.

Well, well, what? To what do I owe this pleasure? See, it's the energy. It's the energy. It's not a good energy. What do I owe this pleasure? What do I owe this pleasure to the guy who is barely promoting his own jewel?

Really? I re-story everything. The guy who literally posts nothing and we're leaving in a couple of weeks. Hey, by the way, thanks for fucking re-posting a story without the link to click on the link. That'll be helpful for the fucking fan. Click here.

Oh, you can? How's Australia? Yeah. You lovin' it? I'm ba-da-ba-ba-ba, bro. I'm McDonald's lovin' it. They call it Makas down here, McDonald's. Makas, have a Makas, that's what they say.

It's good. It's my last day. Today's my last day on set. I'm done. And when are you coming home? Huh? When are you coming home? I can't hear you.

When are you coming home? I come home in a week. I'm home in a week. Are you in LA? I'm right now doing the podcast. Bad friends, you're on it. Oh, well, who's on it? Josh Peck.

Oh, I love Josh Peck. What a cutie pie, that guy. Yeah. He was just telling me that you beat him out of the role of the movie you're doing now and you also beat him out of Dave. Really happy for you, Andrew. Let me tell you something.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The only reason that I got it over Josh, and as he can hear me, is that everybody knows, everybody knows about his weird foot thing, his only fan's foot page. That's true. And some of the producers are uncomfortable with that kind of behavior.

That's the thing you need to deal with. And I hate to blow up his spot, but he's a footy guy. He's like a weird little footy guy, and they don't like it. Sorry. What does that have to do with the acting? Andrew, what's Zach Efron like? What's Zach Efron like? He loves Josh Peck, I'll tell you.

And is John Cena gone? John Cena's gone. He got picked up, he got picked up in like an Autobot, in like a transformer, and he fucking took off. It was awesome. He lifted off from death. Huff and crap. He nodded, he didn't even say goodbye.

He nodded and winked at everybody, and then, yeah. Wow. I'm here for John. Yeah, Holly was great. Anyway, I'm homing up to the show. I love you. Oh, I love you, bye, bye, bye. It's incredible.

But did you feel the energy? Yeah, right. He did answer the phone a bit like a villain. Thank you. And that's what I get every fucking time. It's never a good phone call ever. Any good movies you've seen, movies? Did you see that everything everywhere all the time

never stopped? What's it called? I don't like the way you said it. OK. You know, when I watch the Jewish movies? Schindler's Lease. Yeah, the Jaws, Steven Spielberg. Yeah, great, one of his firsts.

I've seen all his movies. Can you give us one? Fableman's. Did you see the movie? Which one? Everything, Everywhere One. I did it. You haven't seen it?

I've seen Old Boy. It's not the same. Did you see it? Yes, it's so good. It's so good. Is it? What do you mean? Did you see Two Leslie?

No, Two Leslie's. Bobby's on that one. I saw it on Pornhub. What is it? What, Two Lizzie's? I don't think I've seen the movie. Two Leslie. Yeah, like I've seen Mark Maron's in it.

Yeah, he's so good. Oh, he is. Movie is so good. But it's just people talking and feelings. These are my kinds of movies. Oh, you don't like the metaverse sci-fi. Tell me, tell me. Yeah, you're right.

There is sci-fi elements to that movie, but there's a lot of heart in it, man. A lot of feelings. A lot of feelings, a lot of heart. And it's also what an original filmmaking and screenplay. I mean, everything about that movie is just it's an anomaly. It's special. Yeah.

And it's one of those movies. If you're in Hollywood, you should watch it because those directors are the next big thing. Oh, yeah. Yeah, watch the fucking movie. I will. All right. Did you see Squid Games?

Yeah. Why did you watch that? I watched the first episode and I didn't get to the rest. You know, it's funny. It's funny. It's a little. It's funny. It's really funny what you're doing right now.

Tell me. I'm beginning to think that it's not a sci-fi thing. I'm beginning to think it's a fucking Asian thing. Wow. OK. Really? Go ahead. No, I think your line of thinking is correct.

Right. You're reasoning really. Yeah. Let me throw some Asian movies down your throat to see you seeing them. So, so white. It's ready. Yeah, yeah.

Did you see Train to Busan? No. OK. All right. I'm just throwing some Asian movies your way. Pariah? Never saw Pariah. It's not even called Pariah.

No, no, no. Pariah. Pariah what? It's like parasite, but it's a pariah. Did you make a mistake at first? No, never. All right. I thought you thought it was called Pariah.

I did. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did you see Parasite? Yeah, yeah, yeah. OK. Do you like it? Yeah, I liked it. OK.

Yeah, Train to Busan is a great, anyone listening. Train to Busan is a great zombie movie. You like that genre. Everything, what? Have you ever seen the show Fouda? Fouda, how do you spell it? F-A-U-D-A. What is it about?

It's about the Mossad. It's about Jews kicking ass. Never saw that movie. I saw that movie. I saw the show. I did. OK, tell me a little something about it. The show was set in Israel, right?

No. What was it set? Oklahoma City. You are crazy. No, it isn't Israel. It's Israel, right? Of course it isn't. It's called Fouda.

Yeah. And the guy who is the star kind of a, I don't know, that doesn't make, I don't recognize the people on the screen now, but that guy. Yeah. Yeah, that guy is great. And I swear to God, I saw the show, the first season. What about Stissell?

What's Stissell? Another great Jewish show. No. But you're not going to listen to me, OK? OK. Here's the deal, dude. You guys have been fucking, Jews have been making movies since the history of Hollywood, OK?

And why? And because you're great. No. I'm going to give you the fucking credit. No, no, no. What? You guys are creative. Because they wouldn't let us in New York.

That's why we went West. We wanted to be on Broadway. That's fine. That's what people leave out. Because there's a lot of us here. That's true. I'm sure there was hardships. It was born out of hardships.

The tree grew from a soil made of straw. But I understand that. But I think we should appreciate the struggle. I appreciate the struggle. I appreciate it. But let me say something to you. And the soil. I love the soil.

I love just soil, dude. You can create corn. Thank you. Right? You can go corn in it. Sure. So my point is, I've seen a lot of your shit from Israel, also American-made, over the years.

In terms of comedy, you guys have run the Gambit on stand-up comedy. Gambit. Gambit, whatever. You know what I'm saying? One's next-man character. Ha ha ha ha. Great character, though.

The best. Yeah, yeah. How come they never made a great Gambit movie? He was in one movie, though. But didn't they want to make one with him, and they never did? Yeah, the Gambit was, he's from New Orleans, right? He's like the dopest shit. He has cards.

Cards. He has a staff. And a big coat. Yeah, yeah. Gambit's the best, dude. Who would play that? Santino. No, no, no, no.

He's got red hair. No, no. Just pack. No, no, he's got it. He's got it. That? Oh, red hair. Red hair.

Yeah, you're right. Yeah, that's definitely Santino. Can you imagine? Yeah. Is Gambit a good guy or a bad guy? Good guy. Yeah, yeah. Well, does he?

I think he's in the middle. He starts out as a bad guy? Because in the Wolverine movie, they made him kind of in the middle, but he helps out Wolverine, flies him to that place. Right. Did you see that movie? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You never saw Wolverine? OK, well, they have him in it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And he brings him to the military facility or whatever. My point is they have used him, but I don't know why. I don't think he's that popular. If you had to play a superhero, but they wanted you to get in insane shape.

Like, they gave you six months, trainer, dietitian. Wolverine. Would you do it? Wolverine? Yeah, they want you to play Wolverine. I would let me say so. I get a call from Fox because they own the rights to I think more X-Men.

We want you to play Wolverine. I would I'd first misunderstand that and go, is it like a nature movie? Like, you want me to actually play a Wolverine? You know what I mean? With a bunch of other maybe the Koreans or the animals. The little groundhog. Right.

Or I go, is it a voiceover thing? Because that's what it would sound like. No. Yeah, play that. Yeah. Dude. Good, good, good. Right, dead on, right?

If I OK, that's what I would do. If I got a call to play Wolverine, I would go out and live in the forest with the Wolverine. So I can get I don't think Hugh Jackman did that. No way. He didn't live in the forest. Well, I would eat what they eat. You're in.

You know, I would do all that. I would embody. I would do that fucking method shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, right. And I would show up straight from the forest living there to set. Right. Right.

So like just I'm going to look wild. But on your days off, would you still go to like Parks, Barbecue, but as a Wolverine? Yeah. What Daniel Dailos did for the fucking game, you know, Gangs of New York. Yeah. Apparently he stayed that guy through the whole thing.

Right. Even at the hotel. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Like Liam Neeson apparently was like was at the hotel. I was like, where's Daniel Dailos? Because they know each other. And when he went to that, he was working out.

He was and but he was throwing knives. He had set up this thing where he's throwing knives against this wooden plank. Yeah. In the thing. And he treated him like shit. I heard in between takes he would chop meat outside his trailer and blast them in him.

Right. Yeah. So I would do that. You better lose it. No, man, you lose it. So I would do all that. I would come out with like, what do they eat? Insects?

I just bat. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, bat. Because I'm going to talk with the directors. The way this is going to play, you know, I know it's action. I know it's serious. But it's going to get a lot of laughs. Even if I try my hardest and I see the lines as dramatically

as I can, you know what I mean? And grow my sideburns. It's just going to get a huge laugh. Let's maybe practice. Maybe give you a line. Yeah, give me a line. What's a line Wolverine would have? Like, I'll never let him take her.

I'll never let him take her. So you're laughing already. I don't like it. Yeah, can you not laugh? You look like Stevie. You look like your brother when you did that. But can you not laugh? Cute.

You give me a line right now and I'm going to do it to Josh. Yeah. I'm taking her away. Why? Who's her? I don't know what you said. Yeah, give you a completely random line, good. All right?

I've finished the hypothesis. I've never seen this movie. What is a professor? Yeah, I'll just make up my own. My picture you're in a lab or something. Yeah, Magneto's in the facility. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's more right.

OK, Magneto's in the facility. That's my line. Oh, yeah. Right, so you go, where's Magneto? Where's Magneto? Magneto's in the facility. OK, Wolverine, Professor Axe just shit his wheelchair. My god.

Call him Cyclops. He's going to blast it with his eyes? I'll do it again. Like that? That's good. It's really good. It's a lot. Yeah, I think I wouldn't be Bruce Wayne that I would probably turn down.

You would not want to be Batman? No, no one would buy it. Well, what if you were just Bruce Wayne and then somebody else? You had to change the last name. And Josh played Batman. I'll be Bruce Wayne. Bruce Wayne. If I'm Bruce Wayne and they changed the history of the guy, maybe I would.

Or like when you get in the costume, Josh plays Batman in the costume. Oh shit, so I don't have to do in the groundwork either. Right. I don't do any of the physicalities. But I'm I'm the good one who has to say. Yeah. Like I'm not Batman.

I'm Bruce Wayne. Yeah. Oh, right. Yeah. How about this? Yeah. This is what I want you to do. You're playing me.

OK. I'm Bruce Wayne, but you're the Batman. OK. Right. So you have to. So I'm going to my choice for this Batman because I'm Bruce Wayne. Hmm. Is I have to do a little bit of Asian accent.

So when you say you're Batman. No, I'm not Andrew. I'm not Andrew. I'm not. I'm just trying to get it right again. I'm not. I'm just trying to get it right again. We'll cut it off.

No. I just want to see it. I was listening to you. I was listening to you. No, I'm just going to do it really good. Just listen. I'm just going to do an impression of your mom and get it over with. All right.

I want it right. I'm Bruce Wayne, right? No, I'm not doing this. We just try. I promise you, we'll cut it off. All right, you don't have to choose to choose to not choose to not all right cool. I choose to not all right So I'm gonna do the scene right this is like but all the comedians were saying the n-word in front of Chris rock Can you just let it happen? Yeah, it's wrong. No, I'm not gonna do a very thick one

It's gonna be very slight And because Batman speaks because he doesn't speak like Bruce Wayne He's he always goes you're mean I'm Batman right right right right so I'm gonna play in a regular voice And then you miss whatever you want to do. You're the actor. I'm not I know you're the actor playing Bruce Wang as Batman This is where it all falls apart. It's not gonna fall apart. I have two kids All right, do an English accent then all right. See if that works. Sure Couple Yes, and now it's a female. Yeah, we're changing the whole thing. Yeah. Yes, mr. Wang

Yes, mr. Wang. Well, I know um, thank you. You make a good omelet this morning. Thank you. Anyway, oh Say it again, but I'm a Poison Ivy Yeah, yeah, she's poison I be and I'll be Robin and you say that I don't know why you're so scared right now. You see freaked out you could do whatever you want to do dude All right, I'm gonna play this seat out. All right, Josh. Okay. All right So here we go, thank you for Auburn after the line again I'm gonna change to Batman. I'll be right back, right? Hello

That works Yeah, yeah, that fucking works right, but you want to go her role. I know you I know you want to do it if you were the suit would you let Bobby dub over the voice? Yeah? Yeah, oh shit. So you I could just do your voice then you want me to do I'll do that, right? So, but can you mouth? No, I guess I'll do your voice you mouth. I can't let's say Gracie Just right Right, so I'll be right back Auburn, right? Say I'm Batman. I Don't say that

And Jess call me this week. Let's talk. I don't I don't want to because then if you don't answer it'll Tell me I love you. I missed you when I was gone. I don't believe you. I do. I love you I feel like it's been a long time though. I love you Did you miss me, I don't I love you know what I'll be honest with you Yeah, I've been really lost the last month. I've been really sad. I feel empty for real. Yeah, why don't you ever go hiking with me? I think you would love it. I'll just listen to what I'm telling you. I'll just shut the fuck up. I'll be getting vulnerable, right? I want to fucking hike with you right now. Shut the fuck up. I have no one.

Ding that. I love you, I mean. I'm a change. I'm a change man. I love you so much. Everyone in this room. You know when I was gone this last month? You know when you're out in a town and you're not you're not in a big part of a show whatever and you have those days off You just roam around the city. It gets sad man. Oh, it's the worst It's the worst you just feel empty and sad you're walking around and people think that it's like a the high life. No, it's the low life It's there, you know, I had diarrhea bro I had diarrhea so bad. I had food pudding so bad

I I was shooting Sex in the City and then you know, I rapped late. I rushed to this restaurant ate a dinner I went home and for three days. I didn't even wake up. Like I shat I took some of my modem AD and I was sick for three days. It was the worst three days in my life Anyway, I don't I just said that It's been bad. It was bad. It's just good to see everybody and I love everybody here. Okay, and Josh I want to say this too Every time you and I are together. It's there's you always make me laugh I don't really laugh the way I laugh with you. I love you. I'm not being real. Thanks. I laugh with you

I I love you and I I want to be better friends with you, man. I look forward to it Love you too. I love everyone. I missed it. Thank you for being a bad I've been watching myself on podcast and you know on clips and stuff and I feel like I'm so aggressive and And bully like and I talk over people and also and I just want to change and I you know And I was telling this to the guys when I came in here today. I've had a spiritual awakening I realized that I'm gonna be single for the rest of my life and I'm okay with that I'm an incel fine, but I'm done. I'm done. All right, and I'm gonna get a real doll I'm gonna go to San Marcos to the fuck. Can you guys set that up? I want to go pick it out

I'm gonna lay down a grand and that's my new girlfriend. Hi a real doll, right? Hopefully can you change the badges? I think so. I don't know Like if you and I had a sex doll company, what would we do? Oh, yeah, non-sub variety endless choices. What yeah, you have to That's part. That's an easy one. Well, look at look. That's how what they look like, right attractive. Yeah, but let me ask you Oh my god, will we do every skin color? We'd have to yeah, you do every skin color yellow Okay. Yeah, will we do avatar shit? Hmm. Yeah, you know, there's like alien shit. Yeah, right you can pretty much do everything like a centaur No furry furry a furry. Yeah furry. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but imagine a centaur with a you know a woman's body

Right, and we make the fucking horse body the badge really hairy butt tight All right, hairy, but tight. Can you say that on the line because I don't want to get monetized, right? We're definitely not gonna be monetized Right, and maybe when you would stick it in it makes You can make your sound like anything. That's true because of technology. Yeah, or maybe you just give the vibrato But to things men want to hear like you're huge Oh my god, is there a button you press? Yeah, or maybe no, it's motion Where the clit is maybe yeah, okay, I don't need to be too crass

Do you ever find it crazy that men don't know where the couture says I know it's so obvious I know exactly where it is me too. Yeah, it's in the butthole No, it's in the the clitoris is the little bump. It's right there. It's that is it hidden. No, no, but what do you mean? I think a Lot of guys don't even know what it is for so long. So we have to keep this joke alive Guys don't know where it is so that they really study it And find it and know that it's a pleasure source, right? Yeah, it's why it's wild. Yeah. Yeah men are dumb. They're dumb. Yeah. Yeah, that's the pleasure source. Yeah, I see

Everything around it is dead I mean if is that the rave it looks kind of yeah, it looks dead. Yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah, it's Were you guys scared the first time you saw a vagina scared? No, no, I was crying. I was so happy Relieved I pray I looked at it to God and I said thank you. Yeah. Yeah, it's the most beautiful thing in the world I still do that Not knowing what one looked like even having one and it looked in the mirror one day Changed my life

What do you think? Like well, it's just a lot more than I thought. What do you mean? There's like a lot of stuff going on Yeah Maybe it's a Rubik's Cube or something Is it a puzzle? What's going on? Windmill? I don't know. I just I thought it was like a lot more simple. Oh And then I looked in the mirror and I was like, you know, you go along, you know, I might have been 12 or 13 Yeah, that many years Can I ask a question and I just thought of this now and I'm gonna be real okay?

And this is not a dumb question. Okay, right? You're right. I know where the clip is right, but is it the clip where the P comes out? Is there like a little hole in the clip Right, it's sound reasoning, right? So let me ask you something as the only female in the room You mean is that where the P comes out? I don't really know