Bad Friends - Caveman ADHD
Episode Date: February 23, 2026Get MORE Bad Friends at our Patreon!! https://www.patreon.com/c/badfriends Thank you to our Sponsors: Kachava, Warby Parker & Talkspace • Kachava: Stick with your wellness goals. Go to https://k...achava.com and use code BADFRIENDS for 15% off. • Warby Parker: Our listeners get 15% off plus free shipping when they buy two or more pairs of prescription glasses at https://warbyparker.com/BADFRIENDS using our link helps support the show. #WarbyParker #ad • Quince: Go to https://quince.com/badfriends for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. • Talkspace: As a listener of this podcast, you’ll get $80 off of your first month with Talkspace when you go to https://Talkspace.com/badfriends and enter promo code SPACE80. YouTube Subscribe: http://bit.ly/BadFriendsYouTube Audio Subscribe: https://apple.co/31Jsvr2 Merch: http://badfriendsmerch.com 0:00 Bubbles the Monkey 5:00 Catherine O'Hara 8:45 Redacted Files 13:00 Caveman ADHD 23:00 Hobbit Door 27:00 Rickety Train 34:30 Jimmy Au's For Men 5'8 & Under 37:30 David Spade & Goat Premiere 43:00 Down to Earth 47:00 Alone in VR 53:00 Macho Man 57:00 Walking Bobby Down the Aisle 1:02:50 A Moment to Talk About the Lord More Bobby Lee TigerBelly: https://www.youtube.com/tigerbelly Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bobbyleelive Twitter: https://twitter.com/bobbyleelive Tickets: https://bobbylee.live More Andrew Santino Whiskey Ginger: https://www.youtube.com/andrewsantinowhiskeyginger Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino Twitter: https://Twitter.com/cheetosantino Tickets: http://www.andrewsantino.com More Fancy SOS VHS: https://www.youtube.com/@7equis Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/fancyb.1 More Bad Friends iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-friends/id1496265971 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/badfriendspod/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/badfriends_pod Official Website: http://badfriendspod.com/ Opening Credits and Branding: https://www.instagram.com/joseph_faria & https://www.instagram.com/jenna_sunday Credit Sequence Music: http://bit.ly/RocomMusic // https://www.instagram.com/rocom Character Design: https://www.instagram.com/jeffreymyles Bad Friends Mosaic Sign: https://www.instagram.com/tedmunzmosaicart Produced by: 7EQUIS https://www.7equis.com/ Podcast Producer: Andrés Rosende This video contains paid promotion. #bobbylee #andrewsantino #badfriends #sponsored #ad Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hey, everybody. We have new merch. We love it, man.
Check it out, baby. Check it out.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We've got this beautiful, this beautiful sweater here that's in gray. We've got the yellow one for Bobby.
Mustard.
Mustard. And this is what color is this?
What? Pink.
Very good. Salmon. Salmon. Salmon. So we got new merch. Go to bad friendsmerch.com.
Bad friendsmerch.com to grab this stuff right now because like, you know,
everything. It's always a little bit limited. When it's gone. Go to bad friendsmerch.com.
Hey, bad friends. I'm doing a couple of shows before I take a little break. And Bobby and I,
March 14th are going to be in Thunder Valley Casino, which is basically...
It's my favorite considered Thunder Valley. It's Sacramento. It's Lincoln, California,
but basically Sacramento, March 14th. Then I'm going to be the 21st of March. I'm going to be
at the Win Casino in Vegas. I'm doing the little roadie fest out there in Providence, Rhode Island,
in March. Then we make up that Borgata date in Atlantic City, April 3rd. And then finally,
the bad friends, we do a show.
for Netflix is a joke fest, May 8th,
at the YouTube theater right here in LA.
You got to come to May 8th.
It's going to be a fabulous thing.
Please come.
You can go get tickets to Andrew Santino.com for my dates
and for ours together or also bad friendspod.com.
Do it, do it, do it.
Come see us.
You two.
You two are bad friends.
You are these two idiots.
White dude and an Asian dude.
You two are disgusting.
Oh, you two or something.
We're bad friends.
Yee-hee.
He-hee.
God, I love this guy.
Well, congrats to Michael Jackson, posthumously getting a movie released here.
April release date.
What do you do in the movie?
You don't, when I play?
Who do you play?
Bubbles.
Oh, you're bubbles.
Little tiny bubbles.
He's like, don't, don't bite that.
Bubboes.
Don't bite that kid.
Bubbles get down from there.
Bubbles cut that out.
Bubbles still alive.
You want bubble to stop?
You know he's still alive?
No, he's not.
Yeah, bubble.
Yeah, because they.
They live as long as humans.
Wait, Bubbles is...
Yeah, he's like 63.
Where does he live?
He's in Florida.
West Palm?
Florida.
Let's go down there.
Let's go see him.
What?
Let's go say hi to him.
He's hanging out with Coco.
He's only 42 years old.
He's my age.
Bubbles and I are the same age.
He looks way better than you.
100%.
He resides at the center for Great Apes in Wachula, Florida.
Sanctuary that provides care.
We got to go down and see Bob's.
Yeah, we got to see him.
Look at him.
He's so much happier.
He was miserable at Neverlough.
Look at he went bald because all the stuff he saw.
Thinking about all the trauma he had, he went bald.
Look at his face there.
Help me with Michael.
Look at that face, what he's seen in 42 years.
I've ran into this guy on the street before.
It's like he was in Nam.
Look at his face.
He was.
Yeah.
God, what a cutie.
Bubbles doesn't need to see that.
Yeah.
Do you think when he dies, he sees Michael he'll be happy?
No.
Terrified.
Yeah.
He'll run.
to a different cloud.
Yeah, terrified.
Are there clouds in heaven?
100%.
Yeah.
That's what it is up there.
I wonder what this clouds.
Can you chill on it?
Do you can?
Yeah, yeah.
I can.
Yeah.
It's so much different than life.
Dude, if I was having,
I was chilling on a cloud and you floated by you, you flew with your little angel wings.
You know what I mean?
First of all, I'd be like, oh my God, there's a porg.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Porgs in heaven.
That was a Clapton song.
Ports in heaven.
Yeah.
And I'd be like, no, that's Andrea.
Would you talk?
There's so many people to see.
No way.
So many people to talk to.
That's work.
You guys wouldn't be in the same part of heaven.
Uh-uh.
There's no chance.
You'd be sectionally, you'd be nowhere near each other.
You'd be in the VIP.
Oh, yeah, definitely.
This guy's not getting into the sweets.
I'm with Cleopatra.
Yeah, dude.
He's in general admission.
He's the queen, Cleopatra.
Who else in my?
Paul Revere.
Yep.
King John.
I'm trying to choose my cloud.
You are.
Who's going to hang out?
You are.
Cleopatra, who else?
Judas wouldn't be there, right?
He might be there.
You never know, he might have snuck in.
He's sneaky, Jesus.
St. Nicholas?
Yes.
Santa.
Yeah, yeah, I'd have to hang it with St. Nicholas.
He's a saint.
He is.
And he's fat.
He knows where the good food is.
He does?
Yeah, yeah.
Get me a gingerbread.
Right.
You know what I mean?
I'll get it.
Eggnaw, get it, St. Nick.
He knows all the good shit.
He knows where to get it.
Yeah, yeah.
No, fancy's in Jen Pop.
Jen Pop.
Who's on your cloud?
Who's in my cloud?
In heaven.
Bundy
Bundy's not there
What do you mean
Ted Bundy's not there
Why would he not be
He's a serial killer
He's in hell
Okay
All right
They're not clouds in hell
Yeah
Maybe he could
I get a pass
Day pass
You got him a fast pass
A fast pass
And he has to go back down
At night
Yeah
But during the day
What about like Ted Kaczynski
He's not up there dude
Come on
No tell me
People that would be up there
That would be with me
Guaranteed up there.
Okay.
O.J.
He could be.
He could be for sure.
I mean, he won a Heisman trophy.
Yes, dude.
Just this all day?
That's a ticket to heaven.
You're a sinner.
You can still get into heaven.
Yeah, so...
If you accepted Jesus Christ as you'll over and say right before you died.
Uh-huh.
Or in limbo, you can do it, too.
By the way, speaking of deaths, let's be honest.
Catherine O'Hara.
Fucking annoying.
It was awful.
She was so cool, man.
You met her?
Did I never tell you this story?
No.
I've never met her.
We hung out.
No, no, we never hung out.
You never?
No, I never told you this story.
I thought I told the story on the show.
I have told this on the show.
She went to see me the improv.
This is a quick, I'll do it quick for the fans.
No, this is great.
No, no, here's crazy.
I didn't get to meet her.
When I did that Christopher guest show,
some reason somehow she was around and had said she was wanted to go see me live, I guess,
after I did the show with guests.
And she came to see me the improv and the sound guy, the old sound guy was like,
Catherine O'Hara is here to see you.
Oh my God.
crazy. And I was like, no, she's fucking not.
Look at this guy. Rock Obama.
Taylor Swift. Catherine O'Hara. Oh, my God.
I never met her, but I was sad to not meet her because I was such a, one of my favorite.
Wait, you performed and she was in the audience?
Did the improv. She sat there and then the sound guy came back down after I went upstairs and I said,
where is she? And he said, she was loving it. She laughed the whole show. And then the
moment you got off, she got up and left. And I was like, no way. And he's like, yeah.
Oh my God. You never saw her after her. No, but she came to see me, which was kind of red.
Go down quickly. Yeah. I try. Dude, I got.
nervous. I didn't know what to...
I don't know. What was I going to say?
Yeah.
Hi, you're the best.
Yeah. And then she would be like, that's great.
Bye. She wanted to go home.
Well, I got a three-fingered
squeeze on my hand
from Stephen Tyler.
Wow. Yeah.
So I was with Josh home.
Is this recently?
Yeah, like four days ago.
Okay.
At the comedy store.
And Stephen Tyler walked in,
walked out of the club
there's paparazzi up
you know where the
on the ramp on the ramp
yeah right
and
oh she looks pretty
yeah
so she's pretty
for a long
I had met him before
and I go
hi Steven
and he doesn't look at me
he takes his three fingers like this
right
like a teradactal
right
and squeezes my hand
as far as he can like this
a chameleon
yeah like a chameleon
and then just
and then he just kind of walked away
but three fingers is fine
can you even say hi
You didn't look at me
You go, hey, you go,
You know how the rocks are,
they can say whatever they want
And he said, hey, Coco bear, bear, no, no.
Oh, Cocoa bear, no, no, no.
Hey, Cocoa bear, no, no, no.
See, you respect that, huh?
What?
I think fuck that, dude, say hi to me, you fuckhead.
There's a lot of people around them.
Did you, he came to see you?
No, no, no, he was there doing his benefit show.
Oh, I thought this was
that him and Josh Holm were there to see you.
Bobby's nick to him in the crowd.
Oh, yeah.
Were you just like a random fan?
Oh, wow.
I thought about this way differently.
What's going on today, dude?
Everything I'm saying is not good?
Coco bear bear.
Dude, let me tell you something, guy.
Yeah.
Go ahead, rip on me.
Let's get it out.
Let's get it out.
Who we talked to?
I didn't say anything.
Yeah, you're a part of it.
What did I do?
There's a conspiracy going on here.
Oh, my God.
Here we go.
All right.
Anyway.
Speaking of conspiracy, show the Epstein list.
Let's see him.
Pull it up.
Pull it up.
You know who is on the Epstein list?
by the way, a bunch of comedic friends of ours
because apparently I talked to DeRosa about this.
He went to go see Dave Atel was doing a taping at the cellar
and his buddy gave him the lineup that night.
So it was like Big J. O'Kerson, like a bunch of guys
that he went to go see for a Dave Atel taping.
It was for a tell and he's like, you're going to love tonight.
And he listed the names at the seller
and a bunch of people that we know are on it.
And DeRosa goes, it's kind of bummed that wasn't on it.
One of the comments performing that night.
They went to a party of his or?
Davidel had a taping at the cellar.
And they were doing a TV taping for like a small, quick stand-up taping thing that he was doing.
And Epstein was emailing someone his constituents about the show that evening.
And he was saying, you're going to love it tonight.
Here's the guys who are on the lineup.
Who are on the lineup?
You can look it up.
It's on there.
It's like Big J. O'Gerson.
Was DeRosso on the lineup and he wasn't mentioned?
No, he wasn't on the lineup.
But he did the show the next night.
I see.
So he was bummed about that.
I don't know if you're going to find it.
I don't know where DeRosa found it.
He said they got pushed around a little bit.
Like so many people are on that thing.
The Epstein list.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And not the list, but they're just mentioned in emails and this and that.
Well, yeah.
He knew a lot of people, turns out.
You knew a lot of people.
Turns out knew a lot of people, dude.
You know what's even crazier?
I said this today in the car.
All these tinfoil hat people that we said that, remember the, remember Pizza Gate?
Yeah.
And we were like, come on, they're not pizza.
What is that?
It's all real.
It's like 50 pages of pizza.
People going, can't wait to get more pizza tonight.
Pizza party was so good.
Wow.
You didn't see this?
No.
Oh, my God, dude.
There it is.
Comedians in the Epstein list.
Go ahead.
Zoom in.
Comedy seller, Jeffrey E.
Lewis J. Gomez, David Tell, Russ Meneve,
Sabrina J. Ecclese, and surprise guests.
Wow.
Wow.
Yeah, he had a good lineup.
Russ Meney.
Maybe those comics influenced Epstein.
Maybe before this, he wasn't even interested in having a lot of,
an island. Wow. So you went to the show? He went to go see those guys live. Yeah. He went to go
to the comedy seller. Crazy. Yeah, but pizza was real, dude. The pizza thing is crazy. It's all over
the files. All you see all the time is like starving for more pizza. He went to the pizza parlor.
They went down. There's nothing there. No, dude. No, no, no, no. Literally.
Pizza was code. Pizza was code. Oh. Yeah. But the, but the pizza gate thing was an actual
place. I know, but they were using it because they were using that code. They were saying the place wasn't
real, but it was a code for
nasty shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Nasty. Look at this. Mentioned a
pizza a thousand times in Epstein Fowl, new
documents reveal. By the way,
nobody likes pizza that much, so you know what that
is. Yeah. That's nasty, dude.
Yeah, the pizza is delicious.
Not like that.
Yeah, yeah. I mean,
I don't, because... From now on,
I don't like pizza.
I don't know. I hate pizza.
What did pizza do?
They chose the name.
was a hot dog.
Dude, if I was a hot dog
and they started using hot dog,
yeah, right? You guys bringing
me into this whole thing.
I'd be like, but why did you choose hot dog?
You know my point? Pete, you know why they chose
pizza. Like an empanada. You know why they chose
pizza. Why? Pizza, pizza party. It's what young people like.
Pizas. That's what they refer to them as pizza
parties. And you know what's gross? They probably
did get them pizza.
That's even more fucked up.
Well, that ice cream.
I don't know what you're doing here.
Yeah.
Let's not find a replacement for perversion food.
Yeah.
Yeah, the files are just mesmerizing.
I can't stop reading stuff.
I can't stop.
It's so much nasty, nasty shit, did?
Yeah.
Well, there's millions of documents.
I can't go through it all.
Every time a Twitter post.
I went to two and I was like, I can't do it.
Three million.
Every time on a post pops up on Twitter, I sit for an hour reading.
I can't stop.
Yeah.
I'm addicted.
and to see the come.
The one that made me laugh the hardest was about Elon
where he's like, get this fucking dork out of here.
Like Elon wanted to go to a party and they would let him in.
Wow.
Look at this.
Probably just Toulou and me, whatever.
How many people would be?
His assistant, right, he like handed off to his assistant was like, get this guy the
fuck out of here.
Elon tried to get into the party and they wouldn't let him.
Just like he had like a house party or something.
Yeah.
What's the lake one?
You know the lake one?
What's the lake?
Where he, right?
He threw up.
Sometimes they trote through a baby in the lake
In Lake Michigan
In Lake Michigan
That one's pretty dark
It's pretty dark
Is that me?
Imagine I was the baby in the lake
It's a redhead throw it away
Yeah
Oh the world's falling apart
How do you feel?
I feel great I'm on Lexa Pro
Yay
The world's falling apart
Get out of Lexopro
You know I got my
A little bit of riddle in
Some Lexa Pro
I think it's pretty good
You're grooving
I'm grooving
I feel pretty good
I feel great
I'm on
I'm on
Are you on anything
I'm on
creatine and I'm on aschwaganda.
I'm on K-Q-10.
I'm working out every day.
I'm feeling good.
Yeah.
But I mean, do you take any medication or anything?
For my brain?
Yeah.
No.
I take statins for my heart.
You know that.
Yeah, I do.
Yeah.
But your therapist isn't saying?
No, I tried.
You know, I tried, what's the one?
What's the main one everybody does?
Zoloft?
Zoloft.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I tried that once and it gave, it, it, it,
made me so much worse when I was young.
Oh, yeah.
I hated the way I felt on Zola.
As soon as I got off of drugs, I felt kind of normal again.
The panic was still there, but I felt more human.
I felt very robotic.
Doesn't that mean you need them?
Doesn't mean I need them that I felt terrible on them?
That like as soon as you got off of them, you felt good.
That's like how, that's what crazy people say.
Oh, when I stopped taking my medicine, everything was okay.
So I just worry.
We've had friends that stopped taking medicine.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I guess we'll see, Carlos.
No, I feel so much better when I got off of them.
I took him when I was a young lad when I was in college, my senior year.
And I don't want to take anything else.
You know what I take?
I take Jesus.
I take big doses of Jesus every morning.
I pray to my God that you're going to be okay, that you're going to be okay.
And I pray that you're going to be okay, too.
What did cavemen do without medication back in the day?
Like if you had like ADHD.
You know what I mean?
Looked around a lot.
No, he's just kind of like, you know, painting, like, K-painting.
I think he's distracted by a spider.
Who, who?
I like, I like that.
Imagine.
This Lexapro is working.
Or like, you know what I mean?
You had anxiety and there's no Xanax, you know what I mean?
How do you explain that to another caveman?
Who do?
You know what I mean?
Oh, no.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Right?
I mean, there was no medication back here.
Let's explain.
You're a caveman.
Give me cave talk about trying to tell me.
Convince me that you have depression.
Oh, oh, really?
Yeah.
Who, who.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh, ho.
Bonjour.
They speak a little French.
A little French.
A little French.
Yeah.
A little bit of four.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's how, like.
That's how we learned it.
Who need to?
Nah.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
So they, you know, I'm sure language was developed that way.
What was the first word?
Yeah.
Yeah, okay.
When you're going to attack with someone lying.
Yeah.
It was emotions.
It could be, oh.
Ow, ow.
Oh.
Yeah, pain.
Yeah.
Nobody knows the first word.
But somebody had to.
Oh, look.
What?
Instinctive sounds.
Many believe that.
Ow and Ah, surprise.
We literally just said that.
We just did it because we know.
No, but that's amazing.
Yeah.
Because we're smart.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Simple request, food, this.
Yeah, who.
Yo, without hands, can you do it?
Oh.
Yeah, yeah.
I think you could go, oh, oh, oh.
You got what I mean?
Oh, dude, can I do something for you in Caveman speak?
Yeah, go ahead.
Imagine we're around a fire pit and I'm telling you you're my buddy.
Yeah.
Not you.
I'm talking about you to another guy.
Yeah.
You're a different guy, but I'm talking about Bobby.
Okay.
Okay, see if you can get this story.
Okay.
See.
Oh,
wabobo,
wabob,
oh,
wabob,
well,
that's good,
that's good,
oh,
let me do what,
let me do you,
let me do you,
let me do you now.
Okay.
Explaining you here.
That's good,
that's good.
Oh,
bug too,
huh,
you know,
do, do, do,
oh,
oh,
oh,
oh,
Oh, no, bo.
You did, oh,
he,
you know,
do this.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Dude.
Yeah.
Dude, imagine for the people listening to the podcast on,
not seeing.
Yeah.
Just in your car.
Oh my God, dude.
So funny.
That was a good one.
You and I would have been great cavemen.
I would be the best.
The best.
But, you know, would we...
It would just be you and I...
Because of warmth, would we be able...
We'd be hugging every night.
Our body heat.
Yeah, we would never go for women.
Yeah.
We would never go for women.
I would.
No chance.
No, because you'd have back then you got to...
And then drag them by their hair.
You wouldn't do that.
You were liberal before you'd do it.
I would do it.
I was liberal.
Yeah, you're a liberal.
Well, you know what?
I would provide.
Okay, I'm a woman.
Ask me out then as a cavewoman.
Holy shit.
That hit hard.
That's what I mean.
We wouldn't want that kind of rejection.
We would the laugh again, right?
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Wow.
We would have been great cave, people.
Cave would have been the way to go, man.
How do you teach kids in cave?
Like, life lessons, can you do that?
It's just like animals.
They see and they, and they,
they see and they repeat,
monkey see monkey do.
Did you see the cave
in Kazakhstan that they just found?
That looks like a fucking door.
Looks like a 50 foot door.
I want to see it.
Do Kazakhstan cave door.
Good luck spelling Kazakhstan.
There, I got it.
Kachava!
Last night guy.
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Yeah.
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It was a good dinner.
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Yeah?
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Yes.
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These sound like your superpowers.
Cognition and immunity?
Yeah, those are my superpowers.
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There's an image these guys found of like a dat.
That's not a door.
Brother, that looks like a door to me.
That's pretty door-eating.
Yeah, dude, that's a...
It's more a hobbit door.
Yeah, it's a Lord of the Rings door.
I don't know how old this is,
but I just saw it on the internet.
How?
You say a friend in Elvis.
So stupid.
But you know, do you remember?
No, I don't see it.
You don't remember?
I didn't see it.
Can I explain?
Yeah, please.
Okay, in Lord of the Rings, right?
They're trying to get in the minds of Moriur,
and there's a door that looks exactly like that,
but they don't know how to get in.
So they all sit out there for like hours,
and then Frodo has a suggestion
say, right?
He goes, see friend and elvish
and he says it and the door opens.
Bullshit.
Friend?
Yeah.
See, look at that door.
Now go back to the Kazakhstan door.
Yeah.
It was just found this last year, right?
Isn't that what it said, 2025?
Yeah.
Bro, you're telling me that's not a fucking doorway?
Zoom into the one on the left.
That is a man standing outside of it, by the way.
Oh, yeah.
So what does that got to be?
50, 75 feet up?
that's a door dude
it's just
it happens to look like one
no chance
how is that naturally occurring
they can't even explain it
it doesn't look like
it's naturally occurring
in the rock
well then knock on it
look
these are two
Kazakhstanians
yeah
have to go by the door
we will knock on door
yeah
friend and Elvis
oh it's pretty
look at it
yeah
that's a fucking door
yeah
dude that's not
a part of a mountain. That's a door. That's a creepy cave door to something that we don't want to know.
Yeah. Just knock on it. I would never. You would never. I would knock and then you'd run and leave me
there. Yeah, yeah. A hundred percent. Doorbell. Yeah. Ding don't don't ditch. Yeah. Yeah. Some giant comes out.
Imagine he goes, Bobby mom? Probably. How do you see the show? Yeah. I'm getting, we have to do,
We should do a bad friends abroad
where we explore these hidden gems.
There's nowhere that's not going to happen.
You know how far it takes to get even get there?
To Kazakhstan.
You'd stop.
No, but to get to that door,
you have to take a donkey,
you know what I mean?
And the paraglide.
Right.
And then zip line.
He's getting flights.
We can do a non-stop, one stop, 20 hours.
Dude, how boring is Kazakhstan?
Oh, it's supposed to be beautiful.
Really?
Yeah.
Also, they're tough people.
Hey, let's be nice.
There's about 40 people that listen to us,
Kazakhstan. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I love
Casa. Shout out to Kazis. I love Khazis. Look at that.
They got a fucking, look at that. They got a thing with a ball.
It's a good city. Ooh. Ooh.
Ooh. Ooh. Ooh. They're kind of Asian looking,
which is what I like.
Eastern European has this like right on the border of Mongolian looking.
I mean, Kazakhstan is in Asia. Yeah, it is in Asia, but it's still so far eastern.
It still grasps a piece of Europe, right? Doesn't it feel like
The combination between Eastern Europeans and Asians, I think.
Look at where it is.
Doesn't that feel Eastern Europe and Asia at the same time?
It's the center.
That's huge.
Wait, wait, can you zoom in, please?
It's right next to Mongolia, so it's got that.
But look, Western Kazakhstan, go way west.
Look at out, look, it butts up there to what?
What is that?
What country's next door?
Georgia.
Yeah, man, that's, you're Eastern Europe, dude.
You're kissing it.
You're kissing it.
Yeah, you're kissing it.
Yeah.
Like, if you look at some parts of Russia, too.
Well, Russia spans the map.
If you go like way, let's see.
East is Asian.
West is European.
Yes.
That's right.
Yeah.
Western Russia might as well be, you know, what is that?
Like even bleeds into Finland.
Imagine the Finn Russians.
The Rush Finns.
Like in certain parts of Russia, they would think that I was probably Russian.
Mongolian.
100% Mongolian.
I've seen Russians look completely Asian.
Yes.
Yeah.
The Mongolian language.
Mongolian, yeah.
That's a zinger.
Like that.
How do you do a Russian-Asian accent?
I'm trying to do it right now.
I can't even do it.
From Russia, we will come from-
From Russia, we will come.
From Russia, you come to this a prison.
That's really hard to combine.
Yeah.
From Russia.
That's it.
From Russia, we have.
Maybe.
And you say, say, in Russia.
In Russia, we.
In Russia
I'm trying
Finish it
Fucking finish it
Hey man
Sorry I'm aggressive
It's Alexa pro
In Russia
In Russia
Car drives you
In Russia
In Russia
Car drive you
That's good
That's a guy that's there
Yeah yeah
That's a man that exists
Out there in Russia
Somewhere out there
Yeah
But there's like
Look at all that land up
Like where there's
What happens up there
That's the polar
vortex of nothingness.
But people do live out there.
No, rarely.
Yeah, yeah.
No, people live out there.
I saw this TikTok where there's this rickety train that's cold still.
By the way.
We should make a movie called rickety train.
Yeah, it's a rickety train with coal still.
And the tracks, sometimes they have to go out and they fix the railroad tracks, right?
Yeah.
And it's in Russia.
And it's like these small towns and they herd goat.
I mean, yeah, there are people way out there.
Yeah.
Polar Express, yeah.
Did you, yeah, do you save your bell?
Did you take your bell on the rickety train?
If you listen to the bell, you can hear train coming.
Train is bringing new goats.
Yeah.
That's incredible.
It's incredible.
What happens if you're like out there and you're,
and you're like a good looking dude?
You can't model.
Yeah, you can.
Train model.
Train model, dude
You model on the train
They let you walk around from car to car
Oh, I see
What do, if you're a hot guy
Like you're a hot guy
You have, let you know you're a good actor
Right
Like you just
That's your dream
You got it, you have it
You have it. You're like the Philip Seamer Hoffman
But you look like Brad Pitt
Right
Damn
And you got Daniel DeLews skills
You're Daniel D. Lewis skills
You know what I mean
And you got Haley Joel Osmond feet
Why not?
Little feet
Yeah, that's a little feat, right?
And you're like, you're so, so dress well for what you.
And you live in the smallest town in northern Russia.
There's no hope.
I guess you, but you got to be the hottest guy in a small town.
Yeah, but does he go to Moscow and try to do theater?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, that's what you would do?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Become a dancer or an actor?
Yeah.
What is that?
An international actors agency up there?
It was a Russian town agency, but it was, it looked like it was going to spy on us.
I could use that.
My agents aren't doing shit.
Yeah.
I could really use a bump.
Might as well go to a...
What if they wouldn't sign me?
You know what I mean?
I called, they're like, no.
The Mongolian agency would.
Kill down there.
Yeah, yeah.
Why don't you go down...
I'm doing commercials with an eagle on my arm.
Eagle insurance.
Yeah.
Those are like, dude,
Mongolians, dude?
I mean, did you see Physical Asia?
Yeah, we watched that.
We talked about that.
Yeah, yeah.
But the Mongolians, they're tough people.
Yeah, they're nuts.
They're nuts, dude.
Well, Genghis Khan,
was nuts.
My dog.
Yeah.
Miss you.
R. IP.
R.
R.P.
Gangi.
Yeah.
Physical Asia.
Yeah.
The Mongols are.
You just thought they were for making fun of.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You thought they were dry Eskimos.
That guy's huge in the front.
Yeah.
My God.
I think when you live out there, you just toughens you.
What's the slang for this Mongolian team?
What's the slang?
What's the slang?
What's the slang?
What's the phrase for this team?
What?
The promotional phrase.
What would their phrase be if this was a poster for the Mongolian team?
What do they're an ad agency?
What the fuck is going on?
I got it loaded up.
What?
Mongolia.
We got the beef.
Oh.
That's good, dad.
Mongolia.
Where's the beef?
Yeah.
We got the beef with you.
Also try Mongolian beef right now on special.
A Panda Express for 9-9-9-9-9.
Hey, see if there's hot Mongolian women.
For sure.
There's probably no.
Hot women all over the world.
I don't know.
I don't think so.
Yeah.
Hot Mongolian women.
Bingo.
I mean, you think?
Yes.
Very pretty.
Or the region, yeah.
Yeah.
Look at me right now, dude.
Yeah, dude.
Give me another one.
Give me a couple.
Yeah, give me a couple.
There we go.
Yep.
Isn't that your aunt?
I'm saying, yeah.
That's, yeah, I'm, I guess
There's got to be
There's one right there
That's how you know
This is Asia and not Europe
Jesus
Yeah, that, her
Gorgeous
Gorgeous
Gorgeous
Gorgeous
AI
Okay
There we go
There we go
He typed in how
He writes it usually
Howe
How Mongolian woman
Yeah
Oh there you go
That's Mongolia
Yeah that's pretty Mongolian
A couple of mountains
There in the foreground
Let's move on
Let's get off among.
Yeah, let me zoom in on that girl.
Walking down the street.
She's just carrying trash.
Severed head in that back.
Crazy.
What is going on there?
Get off of that.
Get off it.
I'm going to watch Goat.
Goat.
Please go watch goat.
Coming out.
Goat is out.
No, when this comes out, it'll be out right now.
It's out.
Please go see goat.
Are you guys taking us to the premiere?
Nope.
Yep.
It's just me and I under.
That's crazy you thought that we would take it to the premiere.
Are you going to wear a suit?
I thought about it, but it's a basketball movie, so I then thought I should just wear
casual clothes.
Is that what you're going to do?
Yeah, because we got to have pictures together, and I figured we should just wear
street clothes.
I wear a sports coat.
But we never wear sports coats.
How about like jeans, t-shirt, sports coat?
I don't want to wear a collar.
I don't think it fucking matters anymore.
Okay.
You're just going to dress regular.
Well, yeah, because who's it for, the photos?
Our moms?
Oh, yeah.
Do you know what I mean?
Like at this point of my life.
But if everyone's wearing a suit
and we're like wearing, you know.
How much more rad could that be?
I guess.
I'll wear a dress.
Would you like to wear a dress?
Because you know that Nick Kroll's going to wear a suit,
like a purple suit.
Yeah,
but he could be that's,
but he's,
they're more professional than us, dude.
Okay.
He's a worked after.
I was literally going to go buy a suit tomorrow.
Oh, okay, buy one.
I'm telling you I'm not going to wear one.
Like a black suit.
Nice.
I have no interest in that.
With a black tie, like look,
you know what I'm saying black a lot.
Yeah, I love black people.
I'm gonna wear a white suit, white tie.
Yeah.
You have suits.
I, dude.
Let's do suit.
Let's do suit.
Can I tell you what's a bummer?
What?
I tried to put on a suit the, what?
A week ago for my sister's wedding coming up.
Yeah.
Too fat for that suit.
So you get a guy.
I would have to get a new brand new suit.
Yeah.
I'm too fat for my old suit.
I'm 205 right now.
Are we going to go?
Where should we go to get a suit?
Yeah.
Men's warehouse.
Oh.
What do you mean?
I go to Jimmy Ows.
Jimmy O Yang has his own fucking suit store.
For little people?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, that one.
Yeah, yeah.
Tom Ford will like fix it for you.
I'm going to Ronnie Changs.
He's got a suit.
Wait a minute.
Where would you really go to get a suit if you're really going to get a suit?
Give meows, it was right down the street.
Shut up, dude.
I swear to God, I do it.
It's a little people store.
No, it's for small actors like Seth Roeg, Green Goes.
Seth Green Goes, Elijah, go.
We go
And there's headshots of like
All the little actors
Dude the little people suit store is so funny
Yeah
Everything's half off
Hey do you have size six in these?
Like whoa big foot slow down
I think Brad Williams goes
I think Brad Williams goes
But it's we've looked it up before right
Yeah yeah yeah yeah it's a real
What's so funny
You have people like
You have obvious people that go to like
You know me
Big and tall.
Will you go to Little People's Suit store, please?
Yeah, yeah.
Google Little People's Suit store.
Just the idea is so fantastic.
Just the one that I go to, Jimmy Ows.
You're like, 800 bucks, there's half the fabric.
Little People Suit Store.
Jimmy Ows for men in 5'8 and under.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
What?
What's that funny, dude?
You're pissing me off.
It's so funny.
Because 58, you know, is like, whoa, you're tall.
Five-h in the tall section.
It's a really nice store, though.
Yeah, it looks amazing, dude.
You have everything there.
Like a dollhouse, yeah.
Yeah.
Like a what?
A dough house.
That entire store fits in my car.
Dude, Jimmy out.
Yeah, yeah.
Let me see Jimmy.
What is Jimmy?
There he is.
He's there.
Every time I go on.
What's up?
What?
Who are the small celebrities that go?
Isn't that Seth Green right there?
Yeah, Vern.
Yeah, Vern.
Yeah, our dog, RIP.
Yeah, Virgo.
Our IP, Vernie.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, man.
Yeah.
Yeah, so we all go.
I love it there.
Yeah.
So, what's your fucking problem, dude?
Why is this so funny?
I don't know.
Yeah, yeah.
Little ties.
It's just so cute.
Everything's small.
It's cute, dude.
I like Jimmy O's.
Yeah.
I was going to go to tomorrow, but.
Do celebs that go to Jimmy Oz.
I want to see the list of celebs that go.
It's the wonder yours guy.
What's his name?
Who?
Fred.
Fred Savage.
Fred Savage, go.
Wait, zoom in.
Oh, dude, Martin Sheen, Al Pacino, Walberg, DeVito, Pesci, Seth Green, Jason Alexander,
David Spade, and Bobby Lee.
Yeah, Spade goes.
There's a headshot of him.
Yeah, so I go there.
But can you understand the relief when you go into a place like that and you are 5-4 and you're like,
oh, this is for me?
It's got to feel good.
It feels good.
I like that you admit that you're 5-4.
For years, this 5-6 game you were.
were playing. Spade.
Hey, you're on bad friends with me and Bobby.
Where do you go to buy suits?
Be honest.
If you're going to get a suit, where do you go?
Be honest.
I would probably go to theory or something,
but Prada ones are too tight.
But what about it?
You can't lift your arms.
But is there a, is there a shop that you would go to that's not brand name?
Don't say like the little short play.
Do you ever go to?
I went into Jimmy Al.
Do you go to Jimmy Al?
I don't say Jimmy. I don't know how to say it.
I wouldn't go to that. I wouldn't go on that fucking shithole.
So wait.
I'm 5.11.
Be honest. Be honest. Have you ever shopped at Jimmy Oz?
I swear to God, I would never go in there even if I had to.
Your head shots on the wall.
I saw Bobby walk out with fucking two full bags.
You got a couple of quarters of them while you did that.
All right, love you, buddy.
Love you.
Bye.
Spade.
We're plugging Jimmy Oz, man.
This is good.
Yeah.
This is good thing.
Marcelo Hernandez would probably go there.
No, he'd do custom.
Yeah.
Yeah, he would do custom.
All right.
All right, I'll wear a suit if you want to wear a suit.
Okay.
I'm excited about this premiere.
I'm not kidding.
I hope the movie's good.
Yeah.
I'm like actually excited for it.
I am too.
And I also, that's why I got nervous the other night
because I saw the billboard for the new Pixar.
movie and I was like, oh, fuck, that's going to bury it. But it comes out end of March.
I thought, we're good. We're good. We're good. We'll have some time. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I don't even know what it's called. That one. That one, it looks great. That one looks great. Hoppers.
I know. Yeah, that looks so cute. Yeah. God, Pixar, they don't miss, do they? They don't miss it. They don't
miss. They just don't miss. What? What's the shrug face? Yeah. What have they missed a couple
time? They've missed a couple times. What? Yeah. What? If you're talking percentage wise.
Elia. What's Elio? Elio. Yeah.
A good dinosaur, Cars 2.
Yeah.
Cars 2 was fine.
No.
Yeah.
You're crazy.
Cars 2 was fine.
Good dinosaur was fine.
Like your brave was good.
That's people don't like that because they're racist.
All right, go ahead.
Go to Pixar movies.
Just do Pixar movies.
Their OG was so perfect.
Brother, you can't, not everyone, you can't go undefeated.
Which was the jazz one they did?
Oh, I like.
The Eric Griffin was in it.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
I like that movie.
Well, he looks like the guy from Eric Griffin.
Look, toy stories, all of them phenomenal.
Finding Nemo, inside out.
Amazing, I mean, inside out.
Up.
Up, classic.
Coco.
Incredibles.
Ratatoui.
Can you zoom in a little?
Monsters, Inc.
Soul.
These are all bangers.
Yeah, bangers.
Turning red.
Wally.
I love Gory.
Incredibles.
My point, stop there.
Bugs light.
Yeah, they killed it.
My point is.
Yeah, you have that many.
Stop it.
They're unbelievable.
So they make one or two that are like not as fun.
They're good.
They're on fire.
They're on fire.
But you know who's going to be
on more fire?
What?
From the creators of the spider verse
comes goat.
Yeah.
The littlest
to make it to the bigs
in goat.
Can you do your voice
that we do on the movie?
I don't remember.
We do announcers in the movie.
We play two.
I know your, yeah, go ahead.
Do yours?
Will steals the ball?
Yeah, that's it.
I sound like that.
I'm stealing from
Marve Albert.
I sound like Marve Albert.
of Albert. Can you do yours? What was mine?
Your, uh, yours,
you kept going like, oh, yeah.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's it. Yeah, that's it. Yeah. Well,
takes it to the lead. That's exactly right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Also, um, remember every time
we would go in, I would go, hey, can you play it again? So we could hear it. Like what I
sounded like, because I forget. Well, it's easy to forget. Yeah, yeah, yeah, because you do the
sessions every three fucking months. Yeah. So you don't even know when they happen. Great fruit
plates. They really did knock it out.
with the fruit plates. I mean, you know, sometimes you do ADR, right? And it's like ghetto.
Yeah. You have those short little bottles of water, a brand you've never heard of. But this one was
beautiful cheese and fruit plates. It was really nice. Yeah. Yeah, sometimes you go on there.
It's a pack of new ports. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, for your throat. Yeah. It was way better.
It's way better. Doing it together was important. We did it together every time.
You know they're writing a second one right now. No. I mean, I think they make
them do that just in case the first one does well.
It doesn't mean anything. It just means like if it does
really well, I think they're writing the second one.
Yeah. Those guys wrote a good movie. How would you feel if you got recast?
I'd feel like it'd be appropriate.
I don't think so could you kill them?
No, for big, they'd want a name.
This is the thing. If they want a big name, they'd recast us for like,
they'd be like, and the announcers are played by.
We're pretty big. Key and Peel. No.
We're not. We're not key and Peel. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We're not
key. That's what I mean is like if they wanted to upgrade, they could easily upgrade.
Yeah. And that's fine with me.
Not for me
I don't care
Dude yeah not for me
I'm entry level
I'm down there
I'll take it
Hey man I'm I'll park the cars
No you won't dude
I'll get out there and park
I used to love valeting
I valet it
It's so fun
You try to play this like
I'm a struggling guy
And then you're at the highest level
I'm not struggling guy
I just don't mind that if someone
replaced me I wouldn't care
You're the most high class guy I know
He's down to earth though
I'm on the earth
Who's that more down to earth
Andrew or me
Andrew
Andrew
You walk right into that
And you're being real.
Oh, stop it.
No, dude.
Stop it.
There's no way.
Stop it.
There's no way.
It's where, you know what?
We both live.
You both are really, really down to her.
No, that makes me so mad right now.
All right.
Especially with the way what McCone did.
He knows the truth.
Relax, Billy Irish.
No, I'm not.
No one's illegal on stolen land.
You're right.
No one's illegal on stolen land.
You're not.
Yeah, you're right.
Yeah
That's the funny
That's crazy
That's the funny
Insane
Because then her house is
On stolen land
I know that's a fun
They found out her
$14 million
Houses on a stolen land
Who's?
Billy Eilish
Oh really
No one's illegal
On stolen land
Yeah
Really
Her house is on
A fucking plot of land
That's you know
Whatever
But you knew they were
gonna find that
That's what she said
Billy Elish
Signed over her
$14 million
Mansion
If it's stolen land
Hand over the Keys
says Tonga tribe, Tavanga tribe.
That's funny.
If the tribes are coming at you, that's trouble.
Be careful, dog.
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So you know what I've been doing in the last five days?
What?
I've been playing video games till nine in the morning.
And I woke up 45 minutes before I got here.
I know, you look like it.
It sounds like I can hear it in your voice.
Yeah, I'm lost.
What game?
I revisited Starfield.
Oh.
What?
That's just, yeah.
Yeah.
And it's just been grinding and it's, I need help.
I need help.
Why are you doing this to yourself?
Grinding is not what most people think.
What do you mean?
This is what I've been playing.
What is it?
Ratchet and clank.
Oh yeah.
It's really good.
People are playing Arc Raiders.
Like Eric Griffith's like,
hey me,
have we downloaded it yet?
I don't want to play with you.
What?
You got to get up,
get out and do something.
This is crazy, dude.
It's too much time
dedicated to a thing that doesn't mean anything.
It means everything.
What do you need to everything?
When you go to a planet, you've got to survey the whole thing.
You got to, you know what I mean?
All the minerals and rock.
Okay, but how about this?
How about it?
How about it?
How about do it at times when it's helpful for your, your circadian rhythm?
Okay.
How about doing it in the middle of the day?
Okay.
What I'm going to say to you is this, all right?
What else is there to do?
What do you mean?
Write your next hour?
God, your tone right now, dude?
You want to get defeated?
No.
I'll crush the bones in your face.
I got it.
some stuff for you. What? Meet up with people. Hang out, go have a lunch, go do a writing session,
go exercise, go see things that you've never seen before. Yeah. Get up, get out and do some. I went to
my fifth VR thing the other day by myself. I'm in the VR suit, right? You know what I mean? I'm
trying to do things. Where is that? I wasn't Sherman Oaks somewhere. By myself, I'm, you know what I'm,
you know what I mean? Why don't you ask anybody to come with you? No one wanted to go and they were like,
you're solo? You're spending hundreds of dollars just by yourself and after
about 44 minutes, I eat alone, you know what I mean,
at that little plaza there. This is,
with Dan noodles. This is me, right? Self-induced.
And then I'll call me. What else is there to do?
I'll go to the wee spa. I'm alone, naked,
in a spa. I'm alone.
Call anybody. All the time.
Never calls me.
Yeah. Every once in while Gene will be like, let's go to,
you know what I mean, Young King.
So we go to Young King, eat sweet and sour pork.
Why aren't you trying to go meet up with Chick-a-Dooze?
Nobody who wants to hang out with it.
That's bullshit, dude.
I've seen your fucking riah.
What I'm saying is that, you know, this is me for life.
A 13-year-old white boy in the mall?
Yeah, yeah.
My point is, is that what else is there to do?
Go hang out with people.
You just don't reach out.
You don't want to reach out.
You want people to reach out to you.
I mean, the texts I get today.
It's like, I mean, there was one thing.
Marcello called me.
It was like, you want to eat dinner at 630,
but I had this.
You know what I mean?
But I want to do that.
Tomorrow night, I'm going to hang out with my, you know,
the girl that I'm seeing.
You know, everyone knows her.
And then, um...
Nobody knows her.
I mean, you know her personally.
Yeah, but I'm saying...
I haven't said it out.
The humans don't need to know.
I don't want anyone to know.
But my point is, is that...
So I do some things, but it's like...
And then this weekend, we're going to go to the premiere.
That's going to be fun.
That'll be fun.
Friday.
That's me getting out.
But at night, I'm going to go home.
You know what I mean?
If that's what you need, that's what you like, that's what you like.
I don't know what's going on.
Does she like the video game thing?
Well, this is what I do.
You wait until she goes to sleep.
And I wait.
I know you.
I lay there and I wait.
A little bad boy.
And I listen.
And if I hear it, right?
I slowly get out, right?
And I go to my little cubicle and I start playing.
And then wake up, it's like, it's seven in the morning.
Went out breakfast?
I haven't slept yet.
Right.
And then there's that thing.
And then did she get mad?
People get mad.
People get mad.
I think it's destroyed every fucking relationship I ever had.
And yet here you are.
Yeah, women.
Women don't get it.
You get it?
Nobody gets it.
He takes care of a baby.
This guy.
He's got baby on this month.
Are you going to have another baby?
Too much work.
I feel like it's coming.
It's too much work.
I feel like it's coming.
Because you feel...
You got to have two.
Yeah.
I have to have two?
Well, they can watch each other.
Yeah.
You got to put one, make one stare at the other one.
Dang, I need a race, Bobby.
Okay.
You do such a great job here.
We'll consider it.
Do we really?
We're not going to do that, are we?
Yeah.
Give him a raise.
This guy's editing.
I don't want him to fucking...
You know, but there's no one that edits better than me.
You think we can't find someone?
I don't think...
Hey, out there in the bad friends world.
Let's get a good editor.
I think that you're right.
You don't email us.
Yeah, don't email us.
Carlos.
I can't imagine life without being growing it with my brother.
Your brother, Steve.
Yeah.
How about your sister?
Yeah.
You can't imagine life.
You're much older.
Yeah, but I imagine life with,
it can't imagine life without it.
I can't.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And were you saying that the same with fancy?
Yeah, I think that.
No, he's not saying he cannot imagine life with me.
He's saying to have another kid.
Yeah.
I can't imagine life without you.
I'm in real.
At this point in their lives,
I can't imagine life without you.
I love you that much.
Thank you.
Right?
You're mean to me, but I love you that much, right?
I did fight for him to get a raise today.
He has no idea.
I did.
You did?
I did.
And then what happened?
We're going to see.
Okay.
We're going to see what happens.
I say, and you.
Yeah.
Thank you.
Not you.
Not you.
Not you.
Scum. Trash. Pig.
But you know, I would fight for you, McCone.
Even though you don't fight for me, I would fight for you.
McCone has, not only has McCone not fought for you.
He goes against you often.
I know he does.
As much as he can.
Yeah, I know he does.
Now, if you'd call him to go play video games, he would be there.
He would be there in a heartbeat.
You know, I saw a guy, I watched a guy get his car keyed, get his car key.
yesterday and it was a crazy to watch.
That doesn't bother me.
A guy keying his car.
I watched the guy key a guy's car.
I key my own car.
Like who cares?
Well, yeah, you do.
That's insane.
You know what that's the thing about you, this is what you guys with your cars.
Uh-huh.
And I'm talking about macho men.
You know what I mean?
Macho man.
Macho man.
I'd like to key a macho man's car.
I'm just saying, but a little fender bender, a little key.
You know what I mean?
You guys go apes shit.
No, this guy scratched the whole of his car.
And what?
Does the car still run?
It broke the engine.
It's a shitty thing to do.
It is a shitty thing to do.
But it's crazy to see it.
But is that fighting?
Huh?
Like, my name is, let's have my guy.
Yeah.
We'll pretend.
My name is Tango.
Hello, Tango.
And you catch me key in your car.
Yeah.
Yeah, with a razor blade.
Okay, interesting choice.
All right, well, um...
Usually you'd use a...
A Romulan life.
Or a thing that's in the word.
Perhaps a key?
No, I don't use keys.
Oh, right.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I use, um...
You know what I'm gonna use?
A tweezer.
Yeah.
That might fuck it up.
Yeah, because it's two.
Do you a double?
You get two scrapes.
Mm-hmm.
And I'm doing it.
Is that, is that fighting?
Do I fight you?
Yeah, do you fight me?
Do you fight me?
Do you physically assault me?
Well, here's the problem.
know you are mentally unstable.
No, I'm tango.
I'm talking about
Tangco, dude.
Correct.
No, tango.
I work at Kinkos.
Tango is of sound state
in mind?
Yeah, and I'm a manager
to Kinkos.
I have, you know what I mean?
I have a dog.
Well, you're bummed because Kinkos
is closing down, so obviously you're upset.
Yeah, I am a little upset about that.
Right.
I just didn't like your vibe.
Oh, you keep my car.
Yeah, so I just keyed it with
with tweezers.
Are they fighting?
No, I like the Kinkos on fire.
Oh, you do.
Yeah, I come back.
It's at my store.
I just manage there.
No, I know.
You don't have a job there anymore then.
Yeah.
And then every time you get replaced to another Kinkgo store, I like that one on fire.
I'm sorry.
I got a job offer from Michaels.
Can I go to Michaels?
I like that whole fucking thing out.
That's flammable.
It's all, you know, paper.
Yeah.
I'm gonna light.
I'm in the Velcro section.
Okay.
I'm lighting every business you go to.
And magic marker.
On fire.
Yeah.
Every business you work at, I'm lighting it on fire.
Okay.
To make sure that you never work again.
I don't owe those.
Then I steal your dog.
Oh, now that's, wow.
While you're at work at Michaels, I steal your dog.
Really? Yep.
You know what I do?
What do you do?
What?
I steal your coffee machine.
Brother.
Yeah, not good.
You got me.
No, I steal.
You got me good.
Yeah, yeah.
No, you keep my car, steal your dog.
You know what?
I break your wife's an ankle.
Which one, left or right?
Both.
That's good.
Yeah, one would have been easy to deal with.
Right.
What are you going to do, dude?
I'm going to kidnap your brother.
Well, now we're getting personal.
You said my wife!
Oh, that's true.
Yeah.
But Tango's saying it.
Okay, how does Tango know?
Yeah.
I fucking Wikipedia there.
You're famous.
Tango has a wife.
Yeah?
I mean, Tango has a brother.
Yeah, Tango has a brother.
Mango.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I kidnapped Mango.
I don't like Mango.
Well, good.
I'm going to kill him.
Sell him for parts.
Yeah.
Steal his organs.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay. Was that okay? Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to sell it. I'm going to light the wedding on fire,
your sister's wedding. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why, why? Don't go to arson. That's my thing.
Oh, that's his? I light fires. Yeah. You know what? Agent Orange.
That's my thing again. My thing again. I'm like a little tiny plane, a buddy Holly plane over your sister's wedding,
agent orange day. They'll think it's a wedding gift from me. Yeah. The discombobulator. That's
Right, neutralized Russian and Chinese radar missile systems.
Is it orange?
What does it do?
Well, it was killed a lot of people.
It was awful.
It was terrible.
Yeah, it like seized up your whole body.
It's like shut down your organs, right?
It affects multiple systems leads into various cancers, prostate and lung, nervous system disorders, Parkinson's, neuropathy, heart disease, diabetes.
It was incredible.
It was just like huffing the most like toxic chemical in the world.
I love the smell of napalm in the morning.
Yeah.
What movie was that?
Platoon.
No.
No.
No. Apocalypse now.
Apocalypse now. Yeah.
What are you going to get me from,
what are you going to get my sister for her wedding as a gift?
She does expect.
I don't think I'm invited to the wedding.
Yeah, she was going to invite you.
Are you being real?
Mm-hmm.
If I get invited to the wedding, I'll go.
Will you really?
Yeah.
What kind of gift would you give?
Well, don't they have the thing where you, I go to a website?
Yeah, I go to a website.
You know where they're registered?
Where?
Jimmy Oz.
Yeah, well, then I'm going to get a lot of things.
Or their child.
when they have a child?
She would flip her shit
if you showed up to the wedding
I would go
It's so far away
You're not gonna do it
Are you going?
To my sister's fucking wedding
Yeah
Yeah I think so
Yeah it'll keep me away
From the video games
It'll be fucking fun as shit
Yeah I want to go
It's gonna be amazing
The resort is sick
I want to go
Okay
Yeah yeah
Like I don't want it to pass
And then you go
You're gonna say
Oh I didn't think you were gonna
I'll talk to her
She would never think you would go
I would 100% go
And I'd be polite
Of course it would be
My family would lose their mind
to see you there.
I would love to go.
Yeah.
When am we going to go to your wedding?
I am excited to walk you down the aisle.
You think that you're my best man?
Your dad walks you down the aisle.
You're the bride.
Your dad's dead.
You think the best man walks you down the aisle?
That's so funny.
I don't know.
That is a Bobby wedding.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What is the best man?
First of all, I would be 100% one of your best men.
How many is there?
Six.
You can have as many as you want.
It's your choice.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, you'd be a part of the six.
Your brother would be in there.
Yeah.
Me.
Yeah.
Gene.
Yeah.
This is right now at this date, yeah.
Any celebrity.
Stephen Tyler.
Michael Bay.
Michael Bay.
Maybe I would ask Michael.
That'd be cool.
It blows up your wedding.
Yeah, who would be my best man?
You'd be Gene.
Macona be the ring bear.
Probably my sponsor.
Yeah, you'd have to have him.
Yeah, get him.
Also bring Danny up my old smartphone.
You have to bring Danny.
Yeah.
It'd be crazy.
The Bachelor party is just us watching and play video games for seven hours at night.
We just sit in a hotel room.
We get a really nice hotel suite.
Where do I do it though?
Your wedding?
Yeah.
It'd be something exotic.
No.
People can afford to go to.
Exotic affordable is tough.
It is?
It's usually not affordable if it's exotic.
But to go to an island, like you know what I mean?
Like Topango.
Right.
Topanga from Boy Meets World.
Or the Topanga?
Well, we'd have to pay for it.
I'm not paying for tobacco.
I mean, you gotta pay for yourself.
You know how much the wedding's gonna cost?
You know where you should do your wedding?
Where?
Hawaii.
Soul.
Soul.
In my heart.
In your heart?
Is that what you mean?
Yeah.
All Korea.
Yes.
Too expensive.
You thought I meant your soul?
Actually, you know what?
I thought we're gonna have a run here.
In my heart.
That's beautiful.
You would, I.
I know for a fact, you would have a wedding in Hawaii 100%.
I think Hawaii.
There's no doubt in my mind.
There's no doubt.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's easy.
People can get there.
West Coast, for sure, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
But you don't, you wouldn't, who would you know on the East Coast that you would invite
anyway?
Do you have any friends that live East?
I would invite Atel.
He would never go.
I know he wouldn't.
In a million years.
Yeah.
I would invite, they wouldn't come.
Comics, you say.
Yeah.
Yeah.
There's all like, yeah.
The East Coast comics.
Like DeSifano.
He would go 100%.
Yeah.
Janus
Janus Papus
Yeah
One of the best
Yonis for sure
He'd show up
Yonis
Greek freak
Chris
Let's see
Austin guys
Adam Eaget
Would you invite
Rogan
I would
He wouldn't come
I bet you
He would
If he got invited
I guarantee you
He'd come
Adam Eaget
I love Eagrett
Yeah
He would go
He would go
Who else
From Austin
Shane
You'd invite Shane
Yeah
Why'd he
Wouldn't he
Why wouldn't he come
If he's too busy
Yeah.
Tom and Bert.
Yeah, Tom and Bert.
Which one first, though?
Don't put me in this situation.
Don't put me in this situation.
That was a good one.
You almost said it.
Do you have a choice?
Huh?
I would send it out exactly at the same time.
Yeah, yeah.
And no girls?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
These are all guys.
Yeah, I would invite Esther.
Andrea Jen.
Andrea Jen, Kalila.
Yeah.
I would invite.
Kalila should do the wedding.
She should do the,
what does that be the pastor
or the ceremonial person
probably catbird
so new to you
yeah but she's pretty close
so yeah yeah yeah yeah
I took her and Joey Sorone down to
how was it?
Fantastic yeah she's great right
they both did great he did great too
you know that kid yeah Joey's good
very funny yeah yeah yeah they both did great
yeah shout out to those guys
comedy store is on the move
got a lot of young talent down there
oh in Hollywood
Comedy Storms
Yeah, yeah.
There's some good,
there's some great people.
The door guys,
or a lot of door guys.
Some great ones.
I think it's fun
that the girls call themselves
door guys.
Yeah.
They choose,
they'll go,
hi,
I'm a door guy
at the comedy store.
Yeah.
It's like a fun little title.
I never had.
I wish I did it.
Can I tell you what happened
to the other day at the store?
No.
And it's crazy.
Oh,
yeah.
Yeah,
I can't.
Oh,
I can't.
I can't.
I can't explain what happens
through the cave.
Yeah, this is crazy.
Comedy Cave. We should start a comedy club called Comedy Cave. And you got to do that up there.
So I'm at the comedy store and there's a door guy there. I've never talked to it in my life.
And he comes up to me and he goes, can I talk to you?
He goes, yeah, sure. I don't know his name. You don't know who this person is.
I've seen him around. He seems very nice. Sure.
And he goes, hey, if you want to ever get together and talk about Jesus.
Christ.
Shut up.
Shut up.
Who said that?
I swear to God, it happened.
You don't know who it is, though?
I do know.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, yeah.
And I go, what?
Right?
And he goes, yeah, I mean, if you want to get together and talk about the Lord, you know, I mean, I would really like that, you know?
Sounds nice.
Yeah.
And I go, okay.
You don't want to do it?
And I came this close to calling Peter Shore and getting him fucking fired.
No.
I don't know.
it felt
intrusive.
Yeah.
Because if you don't have
like a relationship
with somebody
and that's your opener,
that's your opener.
Like we've never talked
about anything.
Yeah,
but maybe that means a lot to him
and he means a lot to him
so these two things can combine.
So what you're saying to me
is I should,
I should take him up.
Give it a chance.
Let Jesus into your heart.
Into your soul, South Korea.
Let Jesus into your soul, South Korea.
All right.
So you're at the comedy store.
Yeah.
I'm a new door guy.
Yeah.
I don't know you at all
Yeah
Santino
Get the fuck away from me
That's what I'm saying
No no
No
Santino
Hey what's up brother
I'm Bobby Mom
Oh yeah
What up man
Yeah it's fun right
It's good
Yeah thanks man
I love it
Yeah good
Yeah yeah
Thanks
Do you have my keys
For the car
Yeah
I do
But can I talk to you
About something first
Oh what's up
Yeah
Yeah
Do you know Allah
Yeah
Yeah
I'm a Christian
So I don't
I'd love to tell you.
As a Muslim, I'd love to tell you about him.
I go this way now.
Oh, yeah.
Do you want to go?
Diversion.
I go this way.
Diversion.
Yeah, yeah.
Smart.
Yeah.
Do you know Buddha?
Yeah, I know Buddha.
Yeah.
I don't.
Oh.
Christian.
Oh.
You want to talk about the Lord?
Jesus.
Yeah.
Love to.
Yeah.
Tomorrow?
Today.
Like tomorrow?
You wouldn't have lunch?
No, I'd like to do it right now.
Let me stay.
I'm going to stay.
Come on.
Get in my car real fast.
And you would.
Take your shirt off.
get in my car.
Let's talk about Jesus.
There's no way you would allow that to happen.
I would if he was interesting enough.
If the dude was interesting enough, I'd chat with him.
Do you guys believe that he would do that?
Be real.
No way.
No, there's no way, dude.
Running out of this.
There's no way.
Fuck you guys, dude.
What do you try to fucking put out there?
That you're an everyday man?
I would.
I'm not going to talk to a door guy?
What are you talking about?
Of course I will.
I talk to the door guys all time.
Unless the door guy's name is Taylor Swift.
You would do it.
Yeah, yeah.
If Taylor at, yeah, you would do it.
No, I would talk to the door guys all the time.
If someone said I want to talk to you about Jesus,
I said, what do you want to talk about?
I would talk to him.
What do you mean?
What are you talking about?
If he said that, I'd go, what do you mean?
You're the most intimidating guy at the store.
That's not fucking true.
Yeah, people go, they tremble.
That is, you're making a bullshit.
Yeah, because remember that one time.
Right?
No, but the store guys, I'm nice to all those guys.
Ask any store guy.
Ask any door kid.
I'm nice to all of them.
them. There's not one of them that's like, no, he's mean. Yeah. I'm excited. I will say, I am excited
for the goat movie. So please, this will be out. So please go watch Goat. It premieres out in
theaters February 13th. Is that right? Yep. I think that's the date. February 13th, all over
the United States of America. And it's going to be all over the world. So if you're in China,
please go see Goat. Yeah. They got into China. That's a big deal. Because right, they don't
let anybody go over there now. Well, let's hope and let's hope that you like our performance.
We're in it a lot.
We're in it a good amount.
I'm also listed on the IMDB.
I'm listed as you.
I think it says Andrew Santino plays Bobby.
Am I even listed at all?
You are, but it says yours has your character.
I don't know why for some reason.
Bobby Lee plays voice.
Andrew Santino voice.
Oh, they must have fixed it because it originally said Bobby.
Jennifer Hudson Jellyroll.
Hey, look at the people that are in there, huh?
Aisha Curry.
Go up top, though.
Those are the other ones of the Nick Kroll, Gabriel Union,
Caleb McLaughlin plays Will
David Harbor
Jennifer Lewis
Pat and Oswald
and Steph Curry
Wow
So cool
It's a pretty cool combo
It'll be fun
Well please go see it
Go check it out
Thank you for being a bad friend
