Bad Friends - Caveman ADHD

Episode Date: February 23, 2026

Get MORE Bad Friends at our Patreon!! https://www.patreon.com/c/badfriends Thank you to our Sponsors: Kachava, Warby Parker & Talkspace • Kachava: Stick with your wellness goals. Go to https://k...achava.com and use code BADFRIENDS for 15% off. • Warby Parker: Our listeners get 15% off plus free shipping when they buy two or more pairs of prescription glasses at https://warbyparker.com/BADFRIENDS using our link helps support the show. #WarbyParker #ad • Quince: Go to https://quince.com/badfriends for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. • Talkspace: As a listener of this podcast, you’ll get $80 off of your first month with Talkspace when you go to https://Talkspace.com/badfriends and enter promo code SPACE80. YouTube Subscribe: http://bit.ly/BadFriendsYouTube Audio Subscribe: https://apple.co/31Jsvr2 Merch: http://badfriendsmerch.com 0:00 Bubbles the Monkey 5:00 Catherine O'Hara 8:45 Redacted Files 13:00 Caveman ADHD 23:00 Hobbit Door 27:00 Rickety Train 34:30 Jimmy Au's For Men 5'8 & Under 37:30 David Spade & Goat Premiere 43:00 Down to Earth 47:00 Alone in VR 53:00 Macho Man 57:00 Walking Bobby Down the Aisle 1:02:50 A Moment to Talk About the Lord More Bobby Lee TigerBelly: https://www.youtube.com/tigerbelly Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bobbyleelive Twitter: https://twitter.com/bobbyleelive Tickets: https://bobbylee.live More Andrew Santino Whiskey Ginger: https://www.youtube.com/andrewsantinowhiskeyginger Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino Twitter: https://Twitter.com/cheetosantino Tickets: http://www.andrewsantino.com More Fancy SOS VHS: https://www.youtube.com/@7equis Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/fancyb.1 More Bad Friends iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-friends/id1496265971 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/badfriendspod/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/badfriends_pod Official Website: http://badfriendspod.com/ Opening Credits and Branding: https://www.instagram.com/joseph_faria & https://www.instagram.com/jenna_sunday Credit Sequence Music: http://bit.ly/RocomMusic // https://www.instagram.com/rocom Character Design: https://www.instagram.com/jeffreymyles Bad Friends Mosaic Sign: https://www.instagram.com/tedmunzmosaicart Produced by: 7EQUIS https://www.7equis.com/ Podcast Producer: Andrés Rosende This video contains paid promotion. #bobbylee #andrewsantino #badfriends #sponsored #ad Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, everybody. We have new merch. We love it, man. Check it out, baby. Check it out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We've got this beautiful, this beautiful sweater here that's in gray. We've got the yellow one for Bobby. Mustard. Mustard. And this is what color is this? What? Pink. Very good. Salmon. Salmon. Salmon. So we got new merch. Go to bad friendsmerch.com.
Starting point is 00:00:26 Bad friendsmerch.com to grab this stuff right now because like, you know, everything. It's always a little bit limited. When it's gone. Go to bad friendsmerch.com. Hey, bad friends. I'm doing a couple of shows before I take a little break. And Bobby and I, March 14th are going to be in Thunder Valley Casino, which is basically... It's my favorite considered Thunder Valley. It's Sacramento. It's Lincoln, California, but basically Sacramento, March 14th. Then I'm going to be the 21st of March. I'm going to be at the Win Casino in Vegas. I'm doing the little roadie fest out there in Providence, Rhode Island, in March. Then we make up that Borgata date in Atlantic City, April 3rd. And then finally,
Starting point is 00:00:58 the bad friends, we do a show. for Netflix is a joke fest, May 8th, at the YouTube theater right here in LA. You got to come to May 8th. It's going to be a fabulous thing. Please come. You can go get tickets to Andrew Santino.com for my dates and for ours together or also bad friendspod.com.
Starting point is 00:01:11 Do it, do it, do it. Come see us. You two. You two are bad friends. You are these two idiots. White dude and an Asian dude. You two are disgusting. Oh, you two or something.
Starting point is 00:01:23 We're bad friends. Yee-hee. He-hee. God, I love this guy. Well, congrats to Michael Jackson, posthumously getting a movie released here. April release date. What do you do in the movie? You don't, when I play?
Starting point is 00:01:37 Who do you play? Bubbles. Oh, you're bubbles. Little tiny bubbles. He's like, don't, don't bite that. Bubboes. Don't bite that kid. Bubbles get down from there.
Starting point is 00:01:50 Bubbles cut that out. Bubbles still alive. You want bubble to stop? You know he's still alive? No, he's not. Yeah, bubble. Yeah, because they. They live as long as humans.
Starting point is 00:02:02 Wait, Bubbles is... Yeah, he's like 63. Where does he live? He's in Florida. West Palm? Florida. Let's go down there. Let's go see him.
Starting point is 00:02:09 What? Let's go say hi to him. He's hanging out with Coco. He's only 42 years old. He's my age. Bubbles and I are the same age. He looks way better than you. 100%.
Starting point is 00:02:19 He resides at the center for Great Apes in Wachula, Florida. Sanctuary that provides care. We got to go down and see Bob's. Yeah, we got to see him. Look at him. He's so much happier. He was miserable at Neverlough. Look at he went bald because all the stuff he saw.
Starting point is 00:02:33 Thinking about all the trauma he had, he went bald. Look at his face there. Help me with Michael. Look at that face, what he's seen in 42 years. I've ran into this guy on the street before. It's like he was in Nam. Look at his face. He was.
Starting point is 00:02:48 Yeah. God, what a cutie. Bubbles doesn't need to see that. Yeah. Do you think when he dies, he sees Michael he'll be happy? No. Terrified. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:02:59 He'll run. to a different cloud. Yeah, terrified. Are there clouds in heaven? 100%. Yeah. That's what it is up there. I wonder what this clouds.
Starting point is 00:03:06 Can you chill on it? Do you can? Yeah, yeah. I can. Yeah. It's so much different than life. Dude, if I was having, I was chilling on a cloud and you floated by you, you flew with your little angel wings.
Starting point is 00:03:16 You know what I mean? First of all, I'd be like, oh my God, there's a porg. Yeah. Yeah. Porgs in heaven. That was a Clapton song. Ports in heaven. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:03:26 And I'd be like, no, that's Andrea. Would you talk? There's so many people to see. No way. So many people to talk to. That's work. You guys wouldn't be in the same part of heaven. Uh-uh.
Starting point is 00:03:38 There's no chance. You'd be sectionally, you'd be nowhere near each other. You'd be in the VIP. Oh, yeah, definitely. This guy's not getting into the sweets. I'm with Cleopatra. Yeah, dude. He's in general admission.
Starting point is 00:03:48 He's the queen, Cleopatra. Who else in my? Paul Revere. Yep. King John. I'm trying to choose my cloud. You are. Who's going to hang out?
Starting point is 00:03:57 You are. Cleopatra, who else? Judas wouldn't be there, right? He might be there. You never know, he might have snuck in. He's sneaky, Jesus. St. Nicholas? Yes.
Starting point is 00:04:08 Santa. Yeah, yeah, I'd have to hang it with St. Nicholas. He's a saint. He is. And he's fat. He knows where the good food is. He does? Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:04:16 Get me a gingerbread. Right. You know what I mean? I'll get it. Eggnaw, get it, St. Nick. He knows all the good shit. He knows where to get it. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:04:23 No, fancy's in Jen Pop. Jen Pop. Who's on your cloud? Who's in my cloud? In heaven. Bundy Bundy's not there What do you mean
Starting point is 00:04:33 Ted Bundy's not there Why would he not be He's a serial killer He's in hell Okay All right They're not clouds in hell Yeah
Starting point is 00:04:41 Maybe he could I get a pass Day pass You got him a fast pass A fast pass And he has to go back down At night Yeah
Starting point is 00:04:50 But during the day What about like Ted Kaczynski He's not up there dude Come on No tell me People that would be up there That would be with me Guaranteed up there.
Starting point is 00:04:59 Okay. O.J. He could be. He could be for sure. I mean, he won a Heisman trophy. Yes, dude. Just this all day? That's a ticket to heaven.
Starting point is 00:05:08 You're a sinner. You can still get into heaven. Yeah, so... If you accepted Jesus Christ as you'll over and say right before you died. Uh-huh. Or in limbo, you can do it, too. By the way, speaking of deaths, let's be honest. Catherine O'Hara.
Starting point is 00:05:19 Fucking annoying. It was awful. She was so cool, man. You met her? Did I never tell you this story? No. I've never met her. We hung out.
Starting point is 00:05:29 No, no, we never hung out. You never? No, I never told you this story. I thought I told the story on the show. I have told this on the show. She went to see me the improv. This is a quick, I'll do it quick for the fans. No, this is great.
Starting point is 00:05:39 No, no, here's crazy. I didn't get to meet her. When I did that Christopher guest show, some reason somehow she was around and had said she was wanted to go see me live, I guess, after I did the show with guests. And she came to see me the improv and the sound guy, the old sound guy was like, Catherine O'Hara is here to see you. Oh my God.
Starting point is 00:05:57 crazy. And I was like, no, she's fucking not. Look at this guy. Rock Obama. Taylor Swift. Catherine O'Hara. Oh, my God. I never met her, but I was sad to not meet her because I was such a, one of my favorite. Wait, you performed and she was in the audience? Did the improv. She sat there and then the sound guy came back down after I went upstairs and I said, where is she? And he said, she was loving it. She laughed the whole show. And then the moment you got off, she got up and left. And I was like, no way. And he's like, yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:21 Oh my God. You never saw her after her. No, but she came to see me, which was kind of red. Go down quickly. Yeah. I try. Dude, I got. nervous. I didn't know what to... I don't know. What was I going to say? Yeah. Hi, you're the best. Yeah. And then she would be like, that's great. Bye. She wanted to go home.
Starting point is 00:06:38 Well, I got a three-fingered squeeze on my hand from Stephen Tyler. Wow. Yeah. So I was with Josh home. Is this recently? Yeah, like four days ago. Okay.
Starting point is 00:06:53 At the comedy store. And Stephen Tyler walked in, walked out of the club there's paparazzi up you know where the on the ramp on the ramp yeah right and
Starting point is 00:07:04 oh she looks pretty yeah so she's pretty for a long I had met him before and I go hi Steven and he doesn't look at me
Starting point is 00:07:12 he takes his three fingers like this right like a teradactal right and squeezes my hand as far as he can like this a chameleon yeah like a chameleon
Starting point is 00:07:21 and then just and then he just kind of walked away but three fingers is fine can you even say hi You didn't look at me You go, hey, you go, You know how the rocks are, they can say whatever they want
Starting point is 00:07:31 And he said, hey, Coco bear, bear, no, no. Oh, Cocoa bear, no, no, no. Hey, Cocoa bear, no, no, no. See, you respect that, huh? What? I think fuck that, dude, say hi to me, you fuckhead. There's a lot of people around them. Did you, he came to see you?
Starting point is 00:07:47 No, no, no, he was there doing his benefit show. Oh, I thought this was that him and Josh Holm were there to see you. Bobby's nick to him in the crowd. Oh, yeah. Were you just like a random fan? Oh, wow. I thought about this way differently.
Starting point is 00:08:01 What's going on today, dude? Everything I'm saying is not good? Coco bear bear. Dude, let me tell you something, guy. Yeah. Go ahead, rip on me. Let's get it out. Let's get it out.
Starting point is 00:08:12 Who we talked to? I didn't say anything. Yeah, you're a part of it. What did I do? There's a conspiracy going on here. Oh, my God. Here we go. All right.
Starting point is 00:08:19 Anyway. Speaking of conspiracy, show the Epstein list. Let's see him. Pull it up. Pull it up. You know who is on the Epstein list? by the way, a bunch of comedic friends of ours because apparently I talked to DeRosa about this.
Starting point is 00:08:31 He went to go see Dave Atel was doing a taping at the cellar and his buddy gave him the lineup that night. So it was like Big J. O'Kerson, like a bunch of guys that he went to go see for a Dave Atel taping. It was for a tell and he's like, you're going to love tonight. And he listed the names at the seller and a bunch of people that we know are on it. And DeRosa goes, it's kind of bummed that wasn't on it.
Starting point is 00:08:53 One of the comments performing that night. They went to a party of his or? Davidel had a taping at the cellar. And they were doing a TV taping for like a small, quick stand-up taping thing that he was doing. And Epstein was emailing someone his constituents about the show that evening. And he was saying, you're going to love it tonight. Here's the guys who are on the lineup. Who are on the lineup?
Starting point is 00:09:12 You can look it up. It's on there. It's like Big J. O'Gerson. Was DeRosso on the lineup and he wasn't mentioned? No, he wasn't on the lineup. But he did the show the next night. I see. So he was bummed about that.
Starting point is 00:09:22 I don't know if you're going to find it. I don't know where DeRosa found it. He said they got pushed around a little bit. Like so many people are on that thing. The Epstein list. Yeah. Yeah. And not the list, but they're just mentioned in emails and this and that.
Starting point is 00:09:33 Well, yeah. He knew a lot of people, turns out. You knew a lot of people. Turns out knew a lot of people, dude. You know what's even crazier? I said this today in the car. All these tinfoil hat people that we said that, remember the, remember Pizza Gate? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:48 And we were like, come on, they're not pizza. What is that? It's all real. It's like 50 pages of pizza. People going, can't wait to get more pizza tonight. Pizza party was so good. Wow. You didn't see this?
Starting point is 00:10:00 No. Oh, my God, dude. There it is. Comedians in the Epstein list. Go ahead. Zoom in. Comedy seller, Jeffrey E. Lewis J. Gomez, David Tell, Russ Meneve,
Starting point is 00:10:12 Sabrina J. Ecclese, and surprise guests. Wow. Wow. Yeah, he had a good lineup. Russ Meney. Maybe those comics influenced Epstein. Maybe before this, he wasn't even interested in having a lot of, an island. Wow. So you went to the show? He went to go see those guys live. Yeah. He went to go
Starting point is 00:10:30 to the comedy seller. Crazy. Yeah, but pizza was real, dude. The pizza thing is crazy. It's all over the files. All you see all the time is like starving for more pizza. He went to the pizza parlor. They went down. There's nothing there. No, dude. No, no, no, no. Literally. Pizza was code. Pizza was code. Oh. Yeah. But the, but the pizza gate thing was an actual place. I know, but they were using it because they were using that code. They were saying the place wasn't real, but it was a code for nasty shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nasty. Look at this. Mentioned a
Starting point is 00:11:00 pizza a thousand times in Epstein Fowl, new documents reveal. By the way, nobody likes pizza that much, so you know what that is. Yeah. That's nasty, dude. Yeah, the pizza is delicious. Not like that. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I don't, because... From now on,
Starting point is 00:11:16 I don't like pizza. I don't know. I hate pizza. What did pizza do? They chose the name. was a hot dog. Dude, if I was a hot dog and they started using hot dog, yeah, right? You guys bringing
Starting point is 00:11:32 me into this whole thing. I'd be like, but why did you choose hot dog? You know my point? Pete, you know why they chose pizza. Like an empanada. You know why they chose pizza. Why? Pizza, pizza party. It's what young people like. Pizas. That's what they refer to them as pizza parties. And you know what's gross? They probably did get them pizza.
Starting point is 00:11:50 That's even more fucked up. Well, that ice cream. I don't know what you're doing here. Yeah. Let's not find a replacement for perversion food. Yeah. Yeah, the files are just mesmerizing. I can't stop reading stuff.
Starting point is 00:12:06 I can't stop. It's so much nasty, nasty shit, did? Yeah. Well, there's millions of documents. I can't go through it all. Every time a Twitter post. I went to two and I was like, I can't do it. Three million.
Starting point is 00:12:17 Every time on a post pops up on Twitter, I sit for an hour reading. I can't stop. Yeah. I'm addicted. and to see the come. The one that made me laugh the hardest was about Elon where he's like, get this fucking dork out of here. Like Elon wanted to go to a party and they would let him in.
Starting point is 00:12:34 Wow. Look at this. Probably just Toulou and me, whatever. How many people would be? His assistant, right, he like handed off to his assistant was like, get this guy the fuck out of here. Elon tried to get into the party and they wouldn't let him. Just like he had like a house party or something.
Starting point is 00:12:46 Yeah. What's the lake one? You know the lake one? What's the lake? Where he, right? He threw up. Sometimes they trote through a baby in the lake In Lake Michigan
Starting point is 00:12:55 In Lake Michigan That one's pretty dark It's pretty dark Is that me? Imagine I was the baby in the lake It's a redhead throw it away Yeah Oh the world's falling apart
Starting point is 00:13:05 How do you feel? I feel great I'm on Lexa Pro Yay The world's falling apart Get out of Lexopro You know I got my A little bit of riddle in Some Lexa Pro
Starting point is 00:13:15 I think it's pretty good You're grooving I'm grooving I feel pretty good I feel great I'm on I'm on Are you on anything
Starting point is 00:13:21 I'm on creatine and I'm on aschwaganda. I'm on K-Q-10. I'm working out every day. I'm feeling good. Yeah. But I mean, do you take any medication or anything? For my brain?
Starting point is 00:13:35 Yeah. No. I take statins for my heart. You know that. Yeah, I do. Yeah. But your therapist isn't saying? No, I tried.
Starting point is 00:13:43 You know, I tried, what's the one? What's the main one everybody does? Zoloft? Zoloft. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I tried that once and it gave, it, it, it, made me so much worse when I was young. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:13:54 I hated the way I felt on Zola. As soon as I got off of drugs, I felt kind of normal again. The panic was still there, but I felt more human. I felt very robotic. Doesn't that mean you need them? Doesn't mean I need them that I felt terrible on them? That like as soon as you got off of them, you felt good. That's like how, that's what crazy people say.
Starting point is 00:14:12 Oh, when I stopped taking my medicine, everything was okay. So I just worry. We've had friends that stopped taking medicine. Yeah. Yeah. I guess we'll see, Carlos. No, I feel so much better when I got off of them. I took him when I was a young lad when I was in college, my senior year.
Starting point is 00:14:37 And I don't want to take anything else. You know what I take? I take Jesus. I take big doses of Jesus every morning. I pray to my God that you're going to be okay, that you're going to be okay. And I pray that you're going to be okay, too. What did cavemen do without medication back in the day? Like if you had like ADHD.
Starting point is 00:14:56 You know what I mean? Looked around a lot. No, he's just kind of like, you know, painting, like, K-painting. I think he's distracted by a spider. Who, who? I like, I like that. Imagine. This Lexapro is working.
Starting point is 00:15:13 Or like, you know what I mean? You had anxiety and there's no Xanax, you know what I mean? How do you explain that to another caveman? Who do? You know what I mean? Oh, no. Oh. Oh.
Starting point is 00:15:25 Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Right? I mean, there was no medication back here. Let's explain. You're a caveman.
Starting point is 00:15:32 Give me cave talk about trying to tell me. Convince me that you have depression. Oh, oh, really? Yeah. Who, who. Oh. Oh. Oh.
Starting point is 00:15:45 Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, ho. Bonjour. They speak a little French. A little French.
Starting point is 00:16:11 A little French. Yeah. A little bit of four. Yeah. Yeah, that's how, like. That's how we learned it. Who need to? Nah.
Starting point is 00:16:26 Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. So they, you know, I'm sure language was developed that way. What was the first word? Yeah. Yeah, okay. When you're going to attack with someone lying. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:16:40 It was emotions. It could be, oh. Ow, ow. Oh. Yeah, pain. Yeah. Nobody knows the first word. But somebody had to.
Starting point is 00:16:49 Oh, look. What? Instinctive sounds. Many believe that. Ow and Ah, surprise. We literally just said that. We just did it because we know. No, but that's amazing.
Starting point is 00:16:56 Yeah. Because we're smart. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Simple request, food, this. Yeah, who. Yo, without hands, can you do it? Oh. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:08 I think you could go, oh, oh, oh. You got what I mean? Oh, dude, can I do something for you in Caveman speak? Yeah, go ahead. Imagine we're around a fire pit and I'm telling you you're my buddy. Yeah. Not you. I'm talking about you to another guy.
Starting point is 00:17:22 Yeah. You're a different guy, but I'm talking about Bobby. Okay. Okay, see if you can get this story. Okay. See. Oh, wabobo,
Starting point is 00:17:52 wabob, oh, wabob, well, that's good, that's good, oh, let me do what,
Starting point is 00:18:03 let me do you, let me do you, let me do you now. Okay. Explaining you here. That's good, that's good. Oh,
Starting point is 00:18:11 bug too, huh, you know, do, do, do, oh, oh, oh, oh,
Starting point is 00:18:19 Oh, no, bo. You did, oh, he, you know, do this. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:27 Yeah. Dude. Yeah. Dude, imagine for the people listening to the podcast on, not seeing. Yeah. Just in your car. Oh my God, dude.
Starting point is 00:18:53 So funny. That was a good one. You and I would have been great cavemen. I would be the best. The best. But, you know, would we... It would just be you and I... Because of warmth, would we be able...
Starting point is 00:19:03 We'd be hugging every night. Our body heat. Yeah, we would never go for women. Yeah. We would never go for women. I would. No chance. No, because you'd have back then you got to...
Starting point is 00:19:12 And then drag them by their hair. You wouldn't do that. You were liberal before you'd do it. I would do it. I was liberal. Yeah, you're a liberal. Well, you know what? I would provide.
Starting point is 00:19:19 Okay, I'm a woman. Ask me out then as a cavewoman. Holy shit. That hit hard. That's what I mean. We wouldn't want that kind of rejection. We would the laugh again, right? Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:19:58 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. We would have been great cave, people. Cave would have been the way to go, man. How do you teach kids in cave? Like, life lessons, can you do that?
Starting point is 00:20:14 It's just like animals. They see and they, and they, they see and they repeat, monkey see monkey do. Did you see the cave in Kazakhstan that they just found? That looks like a fucking door. Looks like a 50 foot door.
Starting point is 00:20:27 I want to see it. Do Kazakhstan cave door. Good luck spelling Kazakhstan. There, I got it. Kachava! Last night guy. For dinner? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:39 Kachava, dude. Good dinner. It was a good dinner. Delicious. Energy. Yeah? Digestion. Yes.
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Starting point is 00:23:05 There's an image these guys found of like a dat. That's not a door. Brother, that looks like a door to me. That's pretty door-eating. Yeah, dude, that's a... It's more a hobbit door. Yeah, it's a Lord of the Rings door. I don't know how old this is,
Starting point is 00:23:18 but I just saw it on the internet. How? You say a friend in Elvis. So stupid. But you know, do you remember? No, I don't see it. You don't remember? I didn't see it.
Starting point is 00:23:30 Can I explain? Yeah, please. Okay, in Lord of the Rings, right? They're trying to get in the minds of Moriur, and there's a door that looks exactly like that, but they don't know how to get in. So they all sit out there for like hours, and then Frodo has a suggestion
Starting point is 00:23:44 say, right? He goes, see friend and elvish and he says it and the door opens. Bullshit. Friend? Yeah. See, look at that door. Now go back to the Kazakhstan door.
Starting point is 00:23:56 Yeah. It was just found this last year, right? Isn't that what it said, 2025? Yeah. Bro, you're telling me that's not a fucking doorway? Zoom into the one on the left. That is a man standing outside of it, by the way. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:08 So what does that got to be? 50, 75 feet up? that's a door dude it's just it happens to look like one no chance how is that naturally occurring they can't even explain it
Starting point is 00:24:18 it doesn't look like it's naturally occurring in the rock well then knock on it look these are two Kazakhstanians yeah
Starting point is 00:24:25 have to go by the door we will knock on door yeah friend and Elvis oh it's pretty look at it yeah that's a fucking door
Starting point is 00:24:39 yeah dude that's not a part of a mountain. That's a door. That's a creepy cave door to something that we don't want to know. Yeah. Just knock on it. I would never. You would never. I would knock and then you'd run and leave me there. Yeah, yeah. A hundred percent. Doorbell. Yeah. Ding don't don't ditch. Yeah. Yeah. Some giant comes out. Imagine he goes, Bobby mom? Probably. How do you see the show? Yeah. I'm getting, we have to do, We should do a bad friends abroad where we explore these hidden gems.
Starting point is 00:25:11 There's nowhere that's not going to happen. You know how far it takes to get even get there? To Kazakhstan. You'd stop. No, but to get to that door, you have to take a donkey, you know what I mean? And the paraglide.
Starting point is 00:25:22 Right. And then zip line. He's getting flights. We can do a non-stop, one stop, 20 hours. Dude, how boring is Kazakhstan? Oh, it's supposed to be beautiful. Really? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:34 Also, they're tough people. Hey, let's be nice. There's about 40 people that listen to us, Kazakhstan. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I love Casa. Shout out to Kazis. I love Khazis. Look at that. They got a fucking, look at that. They got a thing with a ball. It's a good city. Ooh. Ooh. Ooh. Ooh. Ooh. They're kind of Asian looking,
Starting point is 00:25:52 which is what I like. Eastern European has this like right on the border of Mongolian looking. I mean, Kazakhstan is in Asia. Yeah, it is in Asia, but it's still so far eastern. It still grasps a piece of Europe, right? Doesn't it feel like The combination between Eastern Europeans and Asians, I think. Look at where it is. Doesn't that feel Eastern Europe and Asia at the same time? It's the center.
Starting point is 00:26:16 That's huge. Wait, wait, can you zoom in, please? It's right next to Mongolia, so it's got that. But look, Western Kazakhstan, go way west. Look at out, look, it butts up there to what? What is that? What country's next door? Georgia.
Starting point is 00:26:29 Yeah, man, that's, you're Eastern Europe, dude. You're kissing it. You're kissing it. Yeah, you're kissing it. Yeah. Like, if you look at some parts of Russia, too. Well, Russia spans the map. If you go like way, let's see.
Starting point is 00:26:41 East is Asian. West is European. Yes. That's right. Yeah. Western Russia might as well be, you know, what is that? Like even bleeds into Finland. Imagine the Finn Russians.
Starting point is 00:26:54 The Rush Finns. Like in certain parts of Russia, they would think that I was probably Russian. Mongolian. 100% Mongolian. I've seen Russians look completely Asian. Yes. Yeah. The Mongolian language.
Starting point is 00:27:08 Mongolian, yeah. That's a zinger. Like that. How do you do a Russian-Asian accent? I'm trying to do it right now. I can't even do it. From Russia, we will come from- From Russia, we will come.
Starting point is 00:27:23 From Russia, you come to this a prison. That's really hard to combine. Yeah. From Russia. That's it. From Russia, we have. Maybe. And you say, say, in Russia.
Starting point is 00:27:36 In Russia, we. In Russia I'm trying Finish it Fucking finish it Hey man Sorry I'm aggressive It's Alexa pro
Starting point is 00:27:45 In Russia In Russia Car drives you In Russia In Russia Car drive you That's good That's a guy that's there
Starting point is 00:27:57 Yeah yeah That's a man that exists Out there in Russia Somewhere out there Yeah But there's like Look at all that land up Like where there's
Starting point is 00:28:04 What happens up there That's the polar vortex of nothingness. But people do live out there. No, rarely. Yeah, yeah. No, people live out there. I saw this TikTok where there's this rickety train that's cold still.
Starting point is 00:28:19 By the way. We should make a movie called rickety train. Yeah, it's a rickety train with coal still. And the tracks, sometimes they have to go out and they fix the railroad tracks, right? Yeah. And it's in Russia. And it's like these small towns and they herd goat. I mean, yeah, there are people way out there.
Starting point is 00:28:36 Yeah. Polar Express, yeah. Did you, yeah, do you save your bell? Did you take your bell on the rickety train? If you listen to the bell, you can hear train coming. Train is bringing new goats. Yeah. That's incredible.
Starting point is 00:28:55 It's incredible. What happens if you're like out there and you're, and you're like a good looking dude? You can't model. Yeah, you can. Train model. Train model, dude You model on the train
Starting point is 00:29:08 They let you walk around from car to car Oh, I see What do, if you're a hot guy Like you're a hot guy You have, let you know you're a good actor Right Like you just That's your dream
Starting point is 00:29:18 You got it, you have it You have it. You're like the Philip Seamer Hoffman But you look like Brad Pitt Right Damn And you got Daniel DeLews skills You're Daniel D. Lewis skills You know what I mean
Starting point is 00:29:28 And you got Haley Joel Osmond feet Why not? Little feet Yeah, that's a little feat, right? And you're like, you're so, so dress well for what you. And you live in the smallest town in northern Russia. There's no hope. I guess you, but you got to be the hottest guy in a small town.
Starting point is 00:29:47 Yeah, but does he go to Moscow and try to do theater? Oh, yeah. Oh, that's what you would do? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Become a dancer or an actor? Yeah. What is that? An international actors agency up there?
Starting point is 00:29:55 It was a Russian town agency, but it was, it looked like it was going to spy on us. I could use that. My agents aren't doing shit. Yeah. I could really use a bump. Might as well go to a... What if they wouldn't sign me? You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:30:07 I called, they're like, no. The Mongolian agency would. Kill down there. Yeah, yeah. Why don't you go down... I'm doing commercials with an eagle on my arm. Eagle insurance. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:30:19 Those are like, dude, Mongolians, dude? I mean, did you see Physical Asia? Yeah, we watched that. We talked about that. Yeah, yeah. But the Mongolians, they're tough people. Yeah, they're nuts.
Starting point is 00:30:31 They're nuts, dude. Well, Genghis Khan, was nuts. My dog. Yeah. Miss you. R. IP. R.
Starting point is 00:30:37 R.P. Gangi. Yeah. Physical Asia. Yeah. The Mongols are. You just thought they were for making fun of. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:30:46 Yeah. You thought they were dry Eskimos. That guy's huge in the front. Yeah. My God. I think when you live out there, you just toughens you. What's the slang for this Mongolian team? What's the slang?
Starting point is 00:31:02 What's the slang? What's the slang? What's the phrase for this team? What? The promotional phrase. What would their phrase be if this was a poster for the Mongolian team? What do they're an ad agency? What the fuck is going on?
Starting point is 00:31:12 I got it loaded up. What? Mongolia. We got the beef. Oh. That's good, dad. Mongolia. Where's the beef?
Starting point is 00:31:23 Yeah. We got the beef with you. Also try Mongolian beef right now on special. A Panda Express for 9-9-9-9-9. Hey, see if there's hot Mongolian women. For sure. There's probably no. Hot women all over the world.
Starting point is 00:31:34 I don't know. I don't think so. Yeah. Hot Mongolian women. Bingo. I mean, you think? Yes. Very pretty.
Starting point is 00:31:46 Or the region, yeah. Yeah. Look at me right now, dude. Yeah, dude. Give me another one. Give me a couple. Yeah, give me a couple. There we go.
Starting point is 00:31:58 Yep. Isn't that your aunt? I'm saying, yeah. That's, yeah, I'm, I guess There's got to be There's one right there That's how you know This is Asia and not Europe
Starting point is 00:32:09 Jesus Yeah, that, her Gorgeous Gorgeous Gorgeous Gorgeous AI Okay
Starting point is 00:32:14 There we go There we go He typed in how He writes it usually Howe How Mongolian woman Yeah Oh there you go
Starting point is 00:32:26 That's Mongolia Yeah that's pretty Mongolian A couple of mountains There in the foreground Let's move on Let's get off among. Yeah, let me zoom in on that girl. Walking down the street.
Starting point is 00:32:39 She's just carrying trash. Severed head in that back. Crazy. What is going on there? Get off of that. Get off it. I'm going to watch Goat. Goat.
Starting point is 00:32:51 Please go watch goat. Coming out. Goat is out. No, when this comes out, it'll be out right now. It's out. Please go see goat. Are you guys taking us to the premiere? Nope.
Starting point is 00:33:00 Yep. It's just me and I under. That's crazy you thought that we would take it to the premiere. Are you going to wear a suit? I thought about it, but it's a basketball movie, so I then thought I should just wear casual clothes. Is that what you're going to do? Yeah, because we got to have pictures together, and I figured we should just wear
Starting point is 00:33:14 street clothes. I wear a sports coat. But we never wear sports coats. How about like jeans, t-shirt, sports coat? I don't want to wear a collar. I don't think it fucking matters anymore. Okay. You're just going to dress regular.
Starting point is 00:33:27 Well, yeah, because who's it for, the photos? Our moms? Oh, yeah. Do you know what I mean? Like at this point of my life. But if everyone's wearing a suit and we're like wearing, you know. How much more rad could that be?
Starting point is 00:33:36 I guess. I'll wear a dress. Would you like to wear a dress? Because you know that Nick Kroll's going to wear a suit, like a purple suit. Yeah, but he could be that's, but he's,
Starting point is 00:33:43 they're more professional than us, dude. Okay. He's a worked after. I was literally going to go buy a suit tomorrow. Oh, okay, buy one. I'm telling you I'm not going to wear one. Like a black suit. Nice.
Starting point is 00:33:53 I have no interest in that. With a black tie, like look, you know what I'm saying black a lot. Yeah, I love black people. I'm gonna wear a white suit, white tie. Yeah. You have suits. I, dude.
Starting point is 00:34:05 Let's do suit. Let's do suit. Can I tell you what's a bummer? What? I tried to put on a suit the, what? A week ago for my sister's wedding coming up. Yeah. Too fat for that suit.
Starting point is 00:34:16 So you get a guy. I would have to get a new brand new suit. Yeah. I'm too fat for my old suit. I'm 205 right now. Are we going to go? Where should we go to get a suit? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:34:24 Men's warehouse. Oh. What do you mean? I go to Jimmy Ows. Jimmy O Yang has his own fucking suit store. For little people? Oh, yeah. Yeah, that one.
Starting point is 00:34:33 Yeah, yeah. Tom Ford will like fix it for you. I'm going to Ronnie Changs. He's got a suit. Wait a minute. Where would you really go to get a suit if you're really going to get a suit? Give meows, it was right down the street. Shut up, dude.
Starting point is 00:34:48 I swear to God, I do it. It's a little people store. No, it's for small actors like Seth Roeg, Green Goes. Seth Green Goes, Elijah, go. We go And there's headshots of like All the little actors Dude the little people suit store is so funny
Starting point is 00:35:05 Yeah Everything's half off Hey do you have size six in these? Like whoa big foot slow down I think Brad Williams goes I think Brad Williams goes But it's we've looked it up before right Yeah yeah yeah yeah it's a real
Starting point is 00:35:20 What's so funny You have people like You have obvious people that go to like You know me Big and tall. Will you go to Little People's Suit store, please? Yeah, yeah. Google Little People's Suit store.
Starting point is 00:35:32 Just the idea is so fantastic. Just the one that I go to, Jimmy Ows. You're like, 800 bucks, there's half the fabric. Little People Suit Store. Jimmy Ows for men in 5'8 and under. Yeah. Oh, yeah. What?
Starting point is 00:35:46 What's that funny, dude? You're pissing me off. It's so funny. Because 58, you know, is like, whoa, you're tall. Five-h in the tall section. It's a really nice store, though. Yeah, it looks amazing, dude. You have everything there.
Starting point is 00:36:04 Like a dollhouse, yeah. Yeah. Like a what? A dough house. That entire store fits in my car. Dude, Jimmy out. Yeah, yeah. Let me see Jimmy.
Starting point is 00:36:20 What is Jimmy? There he is. He's there. Every time I go on. What's up? What? Who are the small celebrities that go? Isn't that Seth Green right there?
Starting point is 00:36:40 Yeah, Vern. Yeah, Vern. Yeah, our dog, RIP. Yeah, Virgo. Our IP, Vernie. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, man.
Starting point is 00:36:49 Yeah. Yeah, so we all go. I love it there. Yeah. So, what's your fucking problem, dude? Why is this so funny? I don't know. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:04 Little ties. It's just so cute. Everything's small. It's cute, dude. I like Jimmy O's. Yeah. I was going to go to tomorrow, but. Do celebs that go to Jimmy Oz.
Starting point is 00:37:16 I want to see the list of celebs that go. It's the wonder yours guy. What's his name? Who? Fred. Fred Savage. Fred Savage, go. Wait, zoom in.
Starting point is 00:37:27 Oh, dude, Martin Sheen, Al Pacino, Walberg, DeVito, Pesci, Seth Green, Jason Alexander, David Spade, and Bobby Lee. Yeah, Spade goes. There's a headshot of him. Yeah, so I go there. But can you understand the relief when you go into a place like that and you are 5-4 and you're like, oh, this is for me? It's got to feel good.
Starting point is 00:37:49 It feels good. I like that you admit that you're 5-4. For years, this 5-6 game you were. were playing. Spade. Hey, you're on bad friends with me and Bobby. Where do you go to buy suits? Be honest. If you're going to get a suit, where do you go?
Starting point is 00:38:08 Be honest. I would probably go to theory or something, but Prada ones are too tight. But what about it? You can't lift your arms. But is there a, is there a shop that you would go to that's not brand name? Don't say like the little short play. Do you ever go to?
Starting point is 00:38:26 I went into Jimmy Al. Do you go to Jimmy Al? I don't say Jimmy. I don't know how to say it. I wouldn't go to that. I wouldn't go on that fucking shithole. So wait. I'm 5.11. Be honest. Be honest. Have you ever shopped at Jimmy Oz? I swear to God, I would never go in there even if I had to.
Starting point is 00:38:48 Your head shots on the wall. I saw Bobby walk out with fucking two full bags. You got a couple of quarters of them while you did that. All right, love you, buddy. Love you. Bye. Spade. We're plugging Jimmy Oz, man.
Starting point is 00:39:07 This is good. Yeah. This is good thing. Marcelo Hernandez would probably go there. No, he'd do custom. Yeah. Yeah, he would do custom. All right.
Starting point is 00:39:16 All right, I'll wear a suit if you want to wear a suit. Okay. I'm excited about this premiere. I'm not kidding. I hope the movie's good. Yeah. I'm like actually excited for it. I am too.
Starting point is 00:39:26 And I also, that's why I got nervous the other night because I saw the billboard for the new Pixar. movie and I was like, oh, fuck, that's going to bury it. But it comes out end of March. I thought, we're good. We're good. We're good. We'll have some time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't even know what it's called. That one. That one, it looks great. That one looks great. Hoppers. I know. Yeah, that looks so cute. Yeah. God, Pixar, they don't miss, do they? They don't miss it. They don't miss. They just don't miss. What? What's the shrug face? Yeah. What have they missed a couple time? They've missed a couple times. What? Yeah. What? If you're talking percentage wise.
Starting point is 00:39:55 Elia. What's Elio? Elio. Yeah. A good dinosaur, Cars 2. Yeah. Cars 2 was fine. No. Yeah. You're crazy. Cars 2 was fine.
Starting point is 00:40:04 Good dinosaur was fine. Like your brave was good. That's people don't like that because they're racist. All right, go ahead. Go to Pixar movies. Just do Pixar movies. Their OG was so perfect. Brother, you can't, not everyone, you can't go undefeated.
Starting point is 00:40:20 Which was the jazz one they did? Oh, I like. The Eric Griffin was in it. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I like that movie. Well, he looks like the guy from Eric Griffin. Look, toy stories, all of them phenomenal.
Starting point is 00:40:31 Finding Nemo, inside out. Amazing, I mean, inside out. Up. Up, classic. Coco. Incredibles. Ratatoui. Can you zoom in a little?
Starting point is 00:40:41 Monsters, Inc. Soul. These are all bangers. Yeah, bangers. Turning red. Wally. I love Gory. Incredibles.
Starting point is 00:40:50 My point, stop there. Bugs light. Yeah, they killed it. My point is. Yeah, you have that many. Stop it. They're unbelievable. So they make one or two that are like not as fun.
Starting point is 00:40:58 They're good. They're on fire. They're on fire. But you know who's going to be on more fire? What? From the creators of the spider verse comes goat.
Starting point is 00:41:06 Yeah. The littlest to make it to the bigs in goat. Can you do your voice that we do on the movie? I don't remember. We do announcers in the movie.
Starting point is 00:41:17 We play two. I know your, yeah, go ahead. Do yours? Will steals the ball? Yeah, that's it. I sound like that. I'm stealing from Marve Albert.
Starting point is 00:41:27 I sound like Marve Albert. of Albert. Can you do yours? What was mine? Your, uh, yours, you kept going like, oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's it. Yeah, that's it. Yeah. Well, takes it to the lead. That's exactly right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Also, um, remember every time we would go in, I would go, hey, can you play it again? So we could hear it. Like what I sounded like, because I forget. Well, it's easy to forget. Yeah, yeah, yeah, because you do the
Starting point is 00:41:52 sessions every three fucking months. Yeah. So you don't even know when they happen. Great fruit plates. They really did knock it out. with the fruit plates. I mean, you know, sometimes you do ADR, right? And it's like ghetto. Yeah. You have those short little bottles of water, a brand you've never heard of. But this one was beautiful cheese and fruit plates. It was really nice. Yeah. Yeah, sometimes you go on there. It's a pack of new ports. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, for your throat. Yeah. It was way better. It's way better. Doing it together was important. We did it together every time. You know they're writing a second one right now. No. I mean, I think they make
Starting point is 00:42:28 them do that just in case the first one does well. It doesn't mean anything. It just means like if it does really well, I think they're writing the second one. Yeah. Those guys wrote a good movie. How would you feel if you got recast? I'd feel like it'd be appropriate. I don't think so could you kill them? No, for big, they'd want a name. This is the thing. If they want a big name, they'd recast us for like,
Starting point is 00:42:45 they'd be like, and the announcers are played by. We're pretty big. Key and Peel. No. We're not. We're not key and Peel. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We're not key. That's what I mean is like if they wanted to upgrade, they could easily upgrade. Yeah. And that's fine with me. Not for me I don't care Dude yeah not for me
Starting point is 00:43:01 I'm entry level I'm down there I'll take it Hey man I'm I'll park the cars No you won't dude I'll get out there and park I used to love valeting I valet it
Starting point is 00:43:10 It's so fun You try to play this like I'm a struggling guy And then you're at the highest level I'm not struggling guy I just don't mind that if someone replaced me I wouldn't care You're the most high class guy I know
Starting point is 00:43:19 He's down to earth though I'm on the earth Who's that more down to earth Andrew or me Andrew Andrew You walk right into that And you're being real.
Starting point is 00:43:32 Oh, stop it. No, dude. Stop it. There's no way. Stop it. There's no way. It's where, you know what? We both live.
Starting point is 00:43:40 You both are really, really down to her. No, that makes me so mad right now. All right. Especially with the way what McCone did. He knows the truth. Relax, Billy Irish. No, I'm not. No one's illegal on stolen land.
Starting point is 00:43:54 You're right. No one's illegal on stolen land. You're not. Yeah, you're right. Yeah That's the funny That's crazy That's the funny
Starting point is 00:44:03 Insane Because then her house is On stolen land I know that's a fun They found out her $14 million Houses on a stolen land Who's?
Starting point is 00:44:11 Billy Eilish Oh really No one's illegal On stolen land Yeah Really Her house is on A fucking plot of land
Starting point is 00:44:18 That's you know Whatever But you knew they were gonna find that That's what she said Billy Elish Signed over her $14 million
Starting point is 00:44:25 Mansion If it's stolen land Hand over the Keys says Tonga tribe, Tavanga tribe. That's funny. If the tribes are coming at you, that's trouble. Be careful, dog. Quince!
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Starting point is 00:45:47 They're bringing you professional support from licensed therapists and psychiatrists that you can access anytime and anywhere. Tomorrow I see my therapist, and let me say something. It changed my life. I do EMDR and certain traumatic events in my life. And it's just I'm much more mindful and centered because of therapy and because of talk space. Yeah, I believe in it. I just got out of therapy right before I came here.
Starting point is 00:46:13 And it does feel really good. It feels also good to take control of your mental health from the comfort of your own home. You don't have to go somewhere anymore, by the way. That's the best part about talk space. You can do it from wherever you are. You don't need to go to them. They come to you over the interwebs. Life's all about how we are in a relationship with one another and communication is key.
Starting point is 00:46:29 You need to communicate your feelings about what's going on in your world to help you get a little bit more centered. And TalkSpace makes getting the help you need easy, accessible and affordable. Plus, most insured members have a $0.00 co-pay. As a listener of our podcast, you'll get $80 off your first month with TalkSpace when you go to Talkspace.com slash bad friends and enter promo code Space 80. That's Space 80, S-P-A-C-E-80 to match with the licensed therapist today. go to talkspace.com slash bad friends and enter promo code space 80. So you know what I've been doing in the last five days? What?
Starting point is 00:47:03 I've been playing video games till nine in the morning. And I woke up 45 minutes before I got here. I know, you look like it. It sounds like I can hear it in your voice. Yeah, I'm lost. What game? I revisited Starfield. Oh.
Starting point is 00:47:18 What? That's just, yeah. Yeah. And it's just been grinding and it's, I need help. I need help. Why are you doing this to yourself? Grinding is not what most people think. What do you mean?
Starting point is 00:47:32 This is what I've been playing. What is it? Ratchet and clank. Oh yeah. It's really good. People are playing Arc Raiders. Like Eric Griffith's like, hey me,
Starting point is 00:47:38 have we downloaded it yet? I don't want to play with you. What? You got to get up, get out and do something. This is crazy, dude. It's too much time dedicated to a thing that doesn't mean anything.
Starting point is 00:47:53 It means everything. What do you need to everything? When you go to a planet, you've got to survey the whole thing. You got to, you know what I mean? All the minerals and rock. Okay, but how about this? How about it? How about it?
Starting point is 00:48:02 How about do it at times when it's helpful for your, your circadian rhythm? Okay. How about doing it in the middle of the day? Okay. What I'm going to say to you is this, all right? What else is there to do? What do you mean? Write your next hour?
Starting point is 00:48:19 God, your tone right now, dude? You want to get defeated? No. I'll crush the bones in your face. I got it. some stuff for you. What? Meet up with people. Hang out, go have a lunch, go do a writing session, go exercise, go see things that you've never seen before. Yeah. Get up, get out and do some. I went to my fifth VR thing the other day by myself. I'm in the VR suit, right? You know what I mean? I'm
Starting point is 00:48:42 trying to do things. Where is that? I wasn't Sherman Oaks somewhere. By myself, I'm, you know what I'm, you know what I mean? Why don't you ask anybody to come with you? No one wanted to go and they were like, you're solo? You're spending hundreds of dollars just by yourself and after about 44 minutes, I eat alone, you know what I mean, at that little plaza there. This is, with Dan noodles. This is me, right? Self-induced. And then I'll call me. What else is there to do? I'll go to the wee spa. I'm alone, naked,
Starting point is 00:49:06 in a spa. I'm alone. Call anybody. All the time. Never calls me. Yeah. Every once in while Gene will be like, let's go to, you know what I mean, Young King. So we go to Young King, eat sweet and sour pork. Why aren't you trying to go meet up with Chick-a-Dooze? Nobody who wants to hang out with it.
Starting point is 00:49:26 That's bullshit, dude. I've seen your fucking riah. What I'm saying is that, you know, this is me for life. A 13-year-old white boy in the mall? Yeah, yeah. My point is, is that what else is there to do? Go hang out with people. You just don't reach out.
Starting point is 00:49:39 You don't want to reach out. You want people to reach out to you. I mean, the texts I get today. It's like, I mean, there was one thing. Marcello called me. It was like, you want to eat dinner at 630, but I had this. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:49:50 But I want to do that. Tomorrow night, I'm going to hang out with my, you know, the girl that I'm seeing. You know, everyone knows her. And then, um... Nobody knows her. I mean, you know her personally. Yeah, but I'm saying...
Starting point is 00:50:02 I haven't said it out. The humans don't need to know. I don't want anyone to know. But my point is, is that... So I do some things, but it's like... And then this weekend, we're going to go to the premiere. That's going to be fun. That'll be fun.
Starting point is 00:50:11 Friday. That's me getting out. But at night, I'm going to go home. You know what I mean? If that's what you need, that's what you like, that's what you like. I don't know what's going on. Does she like the video game thing? Well, this is what I do.
Starting point is 00:50:23 You wait until she goes to sleep. And I wait. I know you. I lay there and I wait. A little bad boy. And I listen. And if I hear it, right? I slowly get out, right?
Starting point is 00:50:34 And I go to my little cubicle and I start playing. And then wake up, it's like, it's seven in the morning. Went out breakfast? I haven't slept yet. Right. And then there's that thing. And then did she get mad? People get mad.
Starting point is 00:50:48 People get mad. I think it's destroyed every fucking relationship I ever had. And yet here you are. Yeah, women. Women don't get it. You get it? Nobody gets it. He takes care of a baby.
Starting point is 00:51:01 This guy. He's got baby on this month. Are you going to have another baby? Too much work. I feel like it's coming. It's too much work. I feel like it's coming. Because you feel...
Starting point is 00:51:11 You got to have two. Yeah. I have to have two? Well, they can watch each other. Yeah. You got to put one, make one stare at the other one. Dang, I need a race, Bobby. Okay.
Starting point is 00:51:19 You do such a great job here. We'll consider it. Do we really? We're not going to do that, are we? Yeah. Give him a raise. This guy's editing. I don't want him to fucking...
Starting point is 00:51:28 You know, but there's no one that edits better than me. You think we can't find someone? I don't think... Hey, out there in the bad friends world. Let's get a good editor. I think that you're right. You don't email us. Yeah, don't email us.
Starting point is 00:51:38 Carlos. I can't imagine life without being growing it with my brother. Your brother, Steve. Yeah. How about your sister? Yeah. You can't imagine life. You're much older.
Starting point is 00:51:53 Yeah, but I imagine life with, it can't imagine life without it. I can't. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And were you saying that the same with fancy? Yeah, I think that. No, he's not saying he cannot imagine life with me. He's saying to have another kid.
Starting point is 00:52:05 Yeah. I can't imagine life without you. I'm in real. At this point in their lives, I can't imagine life without you. I love you that much. Thank you. Right?
Starting point is 00:52:14 You're mean to me, but I love you that much, right? I did fight for him to get a raise today. He has no idea. I did. You did? I did. And then what happened? We're going to see.
Starting point is 00:52:25 Okay. We're going to see what happens. I say, and you. Yeah. Thank you. Not you. Not you. Not you.
Starting point is 00:52:33 Scum. Trash. Pig. But you know, I would fight for you, McCone. Even though you don't fight for me, I would fight for you. McCone has, not only has McCone not fought for you. He goes against you often. I know he does. As much as he can. Yeah, I know he does.
Starting point is 00:52:45 Now, if you'd call him to go play video games, he would be there. He would be there in a heartbeat. You know, I saw a guy, I watched a guy get his car keyed, get his car key. yesterday and it was a crazy to watch. That doesn't bother me. A guy keying his car. I watched the guy key a guy's car. I key my own car.
Starting point is 00:53:01 Like who cares? Well, yeah, you do. That's insane. You know what that's the thing about you, this is what you guys with your cars. Uh-huh. And I'm talking about macho men. You know what I mean? Macho man.
Starting point is 00:53:13 Macho man. I'd like to key a macho man's car. I'm just saying, but a little fender bender, a little key. You know what I mean? You guys go apes shit. No, this guy scratched the whole of his car. And what? Does the car still run?
Starting point is 00:53:29 It broke the engine. It's a shitty thing to do. It is a shitty thing to do. But it's crazy to see it. But is that fighting? Huh? Like, my name is, let's have my guy. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:53:44 We'll pretend. My name is Tango. Hello, Tango. And you catch me key in your car. Yeah. Yeah, with a razor blade. Okay, interesting choice. All right, well, um...
Starting point is 00:53:57 Usually you'd use a... A Romulan life. Or a thing that's in the word. Perhaps a key? No, I don't use keys. Oh, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I use, um...
Starting point is 00:54:07 You know what I'm gonna use? A tweezer. Yeah. That might fuck it up. Yeah, because it's two. Do you a double? You get two scrapes. Mm-hmm.
Starting point is 00:54:15 And I'm doing it. Is that, is that fighting? Do I fight you? Yeah, do you fight me? Do you fight me? Do you physically assault me? Well, here's the problem. know you are mentally unstable.
Starting point is 00:54:24 No, I'm tango. I'm talking about Tangco, dude. Correct. No, tango. I work at Kinkos. Tango is of sound state in mind?
Starting point is 00:54:33 Yeah, and I'm a manager to Kinkos. I have, you know what I mean? I have a dog. Well, you're bummed because Kinkos is closing down, so obviously you're upset. Yeah, I am a little upset about that. Right.
Starting point is 00:54:42 I just didn't like your vibe. Oh, you keep my car. Yeah, so I just keyed it with with tweezers. Are they fighting? No, I like the Kinkos on fire. Oh, you do. Yeah, I come back.
Starting point is 00:54:53 It's at my store. I just manage there. No, I know. You don't have a job there anymore then. Yeah. And then every time you get replaced to another Kinkgo store, I like that one on fire. I'm sorry. I got a job offer from Michaels.
Starting point is 00:55:02 Can I go to Michaels? I like that whole fucking thing out. That's flammable. It's all, you know, paper. Yeah. I'm gonna light. I'm in the Velcro section. Okay.
Starting point is 00:55:11 I'm lighting every business you go to. And magic marker. On fire. Yeah. Every business you work at, I'm lighting it on fire. Okay. To make sure that you never work again. I don't owe those.
Starting point is 00:55:18 Then I steal your dog. Oh, now that's, wow. While you're at work at Michaels, I steal your dog. Really? Yep. You know what I do? What do you do? What? I steal your coffee machine.
Starting point is 00:55:31 Brother. Yeah, not good. You got me. No, I steal. You got me good. Yeah, yeah. No, you keep my car, steal your dog. You know what?
Starting point is 00:55:38 I break your wife's an ankle. Which one, left or right? Both. That's good. Yeah, one would have been easy to deal with. Right. What are you going to do, dude? I'm going to kidnap your brother.
Starting point is 00:55:53 Well, now we're getting personal. You said my wife! Oh, that's true. Yeah. But Tango's saying it. Okay, how does Tango know? Yeah. I fucking Wikipedia there.
Starting point is 00:56:04 You're famous. Tango has a wife. Yeah? I mean, Tango has a brother. Yeah, Tango has a brother. Mango. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:56:10 I kidnapped Mango. I don't like Mango. Well, good. I'm going to kill him. Sell him for parts. Yeah. Steal his organs. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:56:17 Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Was that okay? Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to sell it. I'm going to light the wedding on fire, your sister's wedding. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why, why? Don't go to arson. That's my thing. Oh, that's his? I light fires. Yeah. You know what? Agent Orange. That's my thing again. My thing again. I'm like a little tiny plane, a buddy Holly plane over your sister's wedding, agent orange day. They'll think it's a wedding gift from me. Yeah. The discombobulator. That's Right, neutralized Russian and Chinese radar missile systems.
Starting point is 00:56:51 Is it orange? What does it do? Well, it was killed a lot of people. It was awful. It was terrible. Yeah, it like seized up your whole body. It's like shut down your organs, right? It affects multiple systems leads into various cancers, prostate and lung, nervous system disorders, Parkinson's, neuropathy, heart disease, diabetes.
Starting point is 00:57:08 It was incredible. It was just like huffing the most like toxic chemical in the world. I love the smell of napalm in the morning. Yeah. What movie was that? Platoon. No. No.
Starting point is 00:57:17 No. Apocalypse now. Apocalypse now. Yeah. What are you going to get me from, what are you going to get my sister for her wedding as a gift? She does expect. I don't think I'm invited to the wedding. Yeah, she was going to invite you. Are you being real?
Starting point is 00:57:28 Mm-hmm. If I get invited to the wedding, I'll go. Will you really? Yeah. What kind of gift would you give? Well, don't they have the thing where you, I go to a website? Yeah, I go to a website. You know where they're registered?
Starting point is 00:57:38 Where? Jimmy Oz. Yeah, well, then I'm going to get a lot of things. Or their child. when they have a child? She would flip her shit if you showed up to the wedding I would go
Starting point is 00:57:51 It's so far away You're not gonna do it Are you going? To my sister's fucking wedding Yeah Yeah I think so Yeah it'll keep me away From the video games
Starting point is 00:57:58 It'll be fucking fun as shit Yeah I want to go It's gonna be amazing The resort is sick I want to go Okay Yeah yeah Like I don't want it to pass
Starting point is 00:58:06 And then you go You're gonna say Oh I didn't think you were gonna I'll talk to her She would never think you would go I would 100% go And I'd be polite Of course it would be
Starting point is 00:58:15 My family would lose their mind to see you there. I would love to go. Yeah. When am we going to go to your wedding? I am excited to walk you down the aisle. You think that you're my best man? Your dad walks you down the aisle.
Starting point is 00:58:29 You're the bride. Your dad's dead. You think the best man walks you down the aisle? That's so funny. I don't know. That is a Bobby wedding. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What is the best man?
Starting point is 00:58:41 First of all, I would be 100% one of your best men. How many is there? Six. You can have as many as you want. It's your choice. Yeah, yeah. Oh, you'd be a part of the six. Your brother would be in there.
Starting point is 00:58:49 Yeah. Me. Yeah. Gene. Yeah. This is right now at this date, yeah. Any celebrity. Stephen Tyler.
Starting point is 00:58:58 Michael Bay. Michael Bay. Maybe I would ask Michael. That'd be cool. It blows up your wedding. Yeah, who would be my best man? You'd be Gene. Macona be the ring bear.
Starting point is 00:59:12 Probably my sponsor. Yeah, you'd have to have him. Yeah, get him. Also bring Danny up my old smartphone. You have to bring Danny. Yeah. It'd be crazy. The Bachelor party is just us watching and play video games for seven hours at night.
Starting point is 00:59:24 We just sit in a hotel room. We get a really nice hotel suite. Where do I do it though? Your wedding? Yeah. It'd be something exotic. No. People can afford to go to.
Starting point is 00:59:36 Exotic affordable is tough. It is? It's usually not affordable if it's exotic. But to go to an island, like you know what I mean? Like Topango. Right. Topanga from Boy Meets World. Or the Topanga?
Starting point is 00:59:47 Well, we'd have to pay for it. I'm not paying for tobacco. I mean, you gotta pay for yourself. You know how much the wedding's gonna cost? You know where you should do your wedding? Where? Hawaii. Soul.
Starting point is 00:59:58 Soul. In my heart. In your heart? Is that what you mean? Yeah. All Korea. Yes. Too expensive.
Starting point is 01:00:06 You thought I meant your soul? Actually, you know what? I thought we're gonna have a run here. In my heart. That's beautiful. You would, I. I know for a fact, you would have a wedding in Hawaii 100%. I think Hawaii.
Starting point is 01:00:20 There's no doubt in my mind. There's no doubt. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's easy. People can get there. West Coast, for sure, yeah. Yeah, yeah. But you don't, you wouldn't, who would you know on the East Coast that you would invite
Starting point is 01:00:29 anyway? Do you have any friends that live East? I would invite Atel. He would never go. I know he wouldn't. In a million years. Yeah. I would invite, they wouldn't come.
Starting point is 01:00:38 Comics, you say. Yeah. Yeah. There's all like, yeah. The East Coast comics. Like DeSifano. He would go 100%. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:00:45 Janus Janus Papus Yeah One of the best Yonis for sure He'd show up Yonis Greek freak
Starting point is 01:00:51 Chris Let's see Austin guys Adam Eaget Would you invite Rogan I would He wouldn't come
Starting point is 01:00:58 I bet you He would If he got invited I guarantee you He'd come Adam Eaget I love Eagrett Yeah
Starting point is 01:01:03 He would go He would go Who else From Austin Shane You'd invite Shane Yeah Why'd he
Starting point is 01:01:11 Wouldn't he Why wouldn't he come If he's too busy Yeah. Tom and Bert. Yeah, Tom and Bert. Which one first, though? Don't put me in this situation.
Starting point is 01:01:23 Don't put me in this situation. That was a good one. You almost said it. Do you have a choice? Huh? I would send it out exactly at the same time. Yeah, yeah. And no girls?
Starting point is 01:01:33 Oh, yeah, yeah. These are all guys. Yeah, I would invite Esther. Andrea Jen. Andrea Jen, Kalila. Yeah. I would invite. Kalila should do the wedding.
Starting point is 01:01:43 She should do the, what does that be the pastor or the ceremonial person probably catbird so new to you yeah but she's pretty close so yeah yeah yeah yeah I took her and Joey Sorone down to
Starting point is 01:01:58 how was it? Fantastic yeah she's great right they both did great he did great too you know that kid yeah Joey's good very funny yeah yeah yeah they both did great yeah shout out to those guys comedy store is on the move got a lot of young talent down there
Starting point is 01:02:11 oh in Hollywood Comedy Storms Yeah, yeah. There's some good, there's some great people. The door guys, or a lot of door guys. Some great ones.
Starting point is 01:02:19 I think it's fun that the girls call themselves door guys. Yeah. They choose, they'll go, hi, I'm a door guy
Starting point is 01:02:24 at the comedy store. Yeah. It's like a fun little title. I never had. I wish I did it. Can I tell you what happened to the other day at the store? No.
Starting point is 01:02:32 And it's crazy. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I can't. Oh, I can't. I can't.
Starting point is 01:02:37 I can't explain what happens through the cave. Yeah, this is crazy. Comedy Cave. We should start a comedy club called Comedy Cave. And you got to do that up there. So I'm at the comedy store and there's a door guy there. I've never talked to it in my life. And he comes up to me and he goes, can I talk to you? He goes, yeah, sure. I don't know his name. You don't know who this person is. I've seen him around. He seems very nice. Sure.
Starting point is 01:03:10 And he goes, hey, if you want to ever get together and talk about Jesus. Christ. Shut up. Shut up. Who said that? I swear to God, it happened. You don't know who it is, though? I do know.
Starting point is 01:03:20 Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah. And I go, what? Right? And he goes, yeah, I mean, if you want to get together and talk about the Lord, you know, I mean, I would really like that, you know? Sounds nice. Yeah. And I go, okay.
Starting point is 01:03:35 You don't want to do it? And I came this close to calling Peter Shore and getting him fucking fired. No. I don't know. it felt intrusive. Yeah. Because if you don't have
Starting point is 01:03:48 like a relationship with somebody and that's your opener, that's your opener. Like we've never talked about anything. Yeah, but maybe that means a lot to him
Starting point is 01:03:56 and he means a lot to him so these two things can combine. So what you're saying to me is I should, I should take him up. Give it a chance. Let Jesus into your heart. Into your soul, South Korea.
Starting point is 01:04:05 Let Jesus into your soul, South Korea. All right. So you're at the comedy store. Yeah. I'm a new door guy. Yeah. I don't know you at all Yeah
Starting point is 01:04:13 Santino Get the fuck away from me That's what I'm saying No no No Santino Hey what's up brother I'm Bobby Mom
Starting point is 01:04:19 Oh yeah What up man Yeah it's fun right It's good Yeah thanks man I love it Yeah good Yeah yeah
Starting point is 01:04:25 Thanks Do you have my keys For the car Yeah I do But can I talk to you About something first Oh what's up
Starting point is 01:04:30 Yeah Yeah Do you know Allah Yeah Yeah I'm a Christian So I don't I'd love to tell you.
Starting point is 01:04:42 As a Muslim, I'd love to tell you about him. I go this way now. Oh, yeah. Do you want to go? Diversion. I go this way. Diversion. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:04:47 Smart. Yeah. Do you know Buddha? Yeah, I know Buddha. Yeah. I don't. Oh. Christian.
Starting point is 01:04:52 Oh. You want to talk about the Lord? Jesus. Yeah. Love to. Yeah. Tomorrow? Today.
Starting point is 01:04:58 Like tomorrow? You wouldn't have lunch? No, I'd like to do it right now. Let me stay. I'm going to stay. Come on. Get in my car real fast. And you would.
Starting point is 01:05:06 Take your shirt off. get in my car. Let's talk about Jesus. There's no way you would allow that to happen. I would if he was interesting enough. If the dude was interesting enough, I'd chat with him. Do you guys believe that he would do that? Be real.
Starting point is 01:05:18 No way. No, there's no way, dude. Running out of this. There's no way. Fuck you guys, dude. What do you try to fucking put out there? That you're an everyday man? I would.
Starting point is 01:05:28 I'm not going to talk to a door guy? What are you talking about? Of course I will. I talk to the door guys all time. Unless the door guy's name is Taylor Swift. You would do it. Yeah, yeah. If Taylor at, yeah, you would do it.
Starting point is 01:05:41 No, I would talk to the door guys all the time. If someone said I want to talk to you about Jesus, I said, what do you want to talk about? I would talk to him. What do you mean? What are you talking about? If he said that, I'd go, what do you mean? You're the most intimidating guy at the store.
Starting point is 01:05:53 That's not fucking true. Yeah, people go, they tremble. That is, you're making a bullshit. Yeah, because remember that one time. Right? No, but the store guys, I'm nice to all those guys. Ask any store guy. Ask any door kid.
Starting point is 01:06:06 I'm nice to all of them. them. There's not one of them that's like, no, he's mean. Yeah. I'm excited. I will say, I am excited for the goat movie. So please, this will be out. So please go watch Goat. It premieres out in theaters February 13th. Is that right? Yep. I think that's the date. February 13th, all over the United States of America. And it's going to be all over the world. So if you're in China, please go see Goat. Yeah. They got into China. That's a big deal. Because right, they don't let anybody go over there now. Well, let's hope and let's hope that you like our performance. We're in it a lot.
Starting point is 01:06:39 We're in it a good amount. I'm also listed on the IMDB. I'm listed as you. I think it says Andrew Santino plays Bobby. Am I even listed at all? You are, but it says yours has your character. I don't know why for some reason. Bobby Lee plays voice.
Starting point is 01:06:54 Andrew Santino voice. Oh, they must have fixed it because it originally said Bobby. Jennifer Hudson Jellyroll. Hey, look at the people that are in there, huh? Aisha Curry. Go up top, though. Those are the other ones of the Nick Kroll, Gabriel Union, Caleb McLaughlin plays Will
Starting point is 01:07:07 David Harbor Jennifer Lewis Pat and Oswald and Steph Curry Wow So cool It's a pretty cool combo It'll be fun
Starting point is 01:07:16 Well please go see it Go check it out Thank you for being a bad friend

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