Bad Friends - Coffee In the Pool w/ the Island Girls

Episode Date: June 29, 2026

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Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, I'm Andrew Santino. And I'm Bobby Lee. And we made something completely insane. We took celebrities, we put them in my mom's basement. We throw trivia at them, we hit them with absurd challenges, and then, just when they think they know what's happening, we blow to ho-ting a pot. Nobody knows the rules. We barely know the rules.
Starting point is 00:00:16 It's chaos. It's comedy. It's the Bad Game Show! New episodes drop every Wednesday. Watch on the Bad Friends' YouTube channel. Or on the Bad Game Show feed on Spotify video. Follow, subscribe, watch. Share, play along. Have fun. You two are bad friends.
Starting point is 00:00:33 Who are these two idiots? White dude and an Asian dude. You two are disgusting. You're bad friends. What's going on with you today? You feel like you're, yeah, you're very Miyagi today. That's the Sunday. Teach us, Miyagi.
Starting point is 00:00:50 I woke up and it's like, you know, when you have one foot in the past and one foot in the future, you're pissing on today. I'm living in the moment. Are we going to do a bunch of Chinese proverbs now? I'm not doing Chinese proverbs. I'm just saying that I saw a bumper sticker driving over here. Made me kind of mad. What'd say? It said, if you drive, if you get near me, I'd drive slower.
Starting point is 00:01:14 Oh. So I want a bumper sticker in my front window and says, well, then I'll crash into you. You just have to drive in front of them after you see it. Yeah. I went to the side of just to see what they look like. What did they look like? It's an old white lady. Ew.
Starting point is 00:01:29 Ooh. Oh, Karen. Pass. Stay hydrated. Look up how many babies born in 2026 named Karen, like nine probably. Yeah. I think that ruined the name Karen. Adolf is ruined.
Starting point is 00:01:42 No, no, that one's back. It's okay. Adolf is back? What does it say? How many babies named Karen? Plumitted. The name plummeted. It plummeted.
Starting point is 00:01:52 It fell out of the top 800. Pull pot. Pull, yeah. Yeah, see if pull pot. Potsy. See if Potsie. Yeah, pull pot. It can't...
Starting point is 00:01:59 Zero. Zero. Zero. There's no way. I created a name zero. Why? Because he was a bad guy. Give me a name.
Starting point is 00:02:06 Um, Trump... You can't beat... You can't beat zero, dude. Yes, I can. That's a lot... I mean, I'm champ right now. How many babies? I'm fucking named champ right now, dude.
Starting point is 00:02:16 How many babies in... You can't make up a name that no one's ever had. Like Zezas, Mokalakalangangangangah. Zezzer not... Zazzer back Hitler. No, no, no. Just say a name in the past.
Starting point is 00:02:26 How many people in 2026 were named Genghis Khan. Gangus? No, you said Pol Pot. Gangus does not appear in the top thousand recorded by baby names. Yeah, but it's still not zero. Yeah, but pole would be a name that would be a baby, but you said Pol Pot. You said Gangas Khan.
Starting point is 00:02:44 Yeah, Genghis Khan. Yeah, okay. That's what I'm saying. All right. Zero babies named Gengis in 2020. Well, if I ever baby, that's what it is. We're tied. We're tied.
Starting point is 00:02:52 All right, gangis pot and that's it. All right. We're tied. We're tied. We don't have to play. Well, there's no way to go lower. Okay. Yeah, there's no way to go lower.
Starting point is 00:02:58 Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I saw obsession last night. Did I not tell you it was good? Mm-hmm. Do you think it was good? What did I? I called McCone. Why are you?
Starting point is 00:03:07 Tell me. I called McCone. I went and got pizza. I called McCone. Yeah. What did I say? Terrible movie. What did you like about this movie?
Starting point is 00:03:15 What was good about it? And then he goes, ever the contrarian. I did say that. You said that. Ever the contrarian. Dush bag. And I go, what are you doing? He's like, hold on.
Starting point is 00:03:25 Sorry, man. I'm at karaoke. I have to go back in. They just picked my song. Yeah. Did you go to the place on Wilshire? What was it called the monkey bar? What's it called?
Starting point is 00:03:32 I don't know, but it had a bunch of Egyptian stuff in it. It's called Brass Monkey. Brass Monkey. Oh, yeah, yeah. Well, I was close. There's monkey in it. I mean, Beastie Boys, dude. Yeah, yeah, brass monkey.
Starting point is 00:03:42 There's one on Wilshire. That's funky, monkey. Yeah, and it's a huge... It's a massive carry. We've been there before. We've been there before. Yeah. You didn't go to that one with...
Starting point is 00:03:49 How many private rooms? Was it like a row of rooms? It was a lot of private room. Yeah, maybe that was it. Oh, it's in Korea Town. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I've been to that one. It was fine. Downstairs.
Starting point is 00:03:57 And then they have the girls that you can bring in. Why? Why not? Dude's only. That's the question you have to ask yourself. Why not? Why not? Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:04:06 Why are you asking? Why always? You always say why not? You know what I mean? But why is it? What does that do with karaoke? I don't know, but Koreans, they just do the, come on in. You know, she don't.
Starting point is 00:04:19 Anybody's allowed it. Yeah. No, but you know how they, what do they call them, Carlos? They're like, they're like, they're like, a, uh, I was going to Grecious. They're not gaseous, dude. This is not Japan.
Starting point is 00:04:30 No, here in America. No, they have hostess girls. Hostess girls, that's all, yeah. How did we not get that? Yeah, yeah, yeah, they're hostess girls. Yeah, they're friends. Come on inu. Come, me, hostas.
Starting point is 00:04:41 Yeah, and then they try to sell you on a, you know, a really expensive bottle of whatever. And they flirt with you, right? You guys sing together. You buy the bottle. You buy the bottle. And then they just disappear. I don't know, they're like ninjas.
Starting point is 00:04:53 They're not gaseas, they're ninjas. They're ninjas. There are apparitions. After you pay the bill, they're just gone. Gone. Why don't you? Yeah. I did not.
Starting point is 00:05:04 I unfortunately wasn't a big fan. Did your wife like it? No. You weren't, you didn't like it. I thought it was a good, I'll tell you this, a good premise, very good premise. Yeah. We were hanging, they hung the film on the premise. And there was no great twists for me.
Starting point is 00:05:21 There wasn't enough where I was like, whoa. I didn't own. Wow. And then my biggest point that I made on the phone to him was he breaks it and he says, I want Nikki, whatever her last name is, to love me more than any one or anything, one of the two things, in the world. That didn't justify the behavior. To me, it should have been a clever phrase that would have been gray enough. Like, I wish Nikki Howard was crazy for me. I said that when I walked out. I was like, your rider's hat on. Yeah. Yeah. Wouldn't that have been better. You got to take it off when you go to a movie like that.
Starting point is 00:05:54 You wouldn't live without me. Something big. Yeah. Something that was like... Oh, okay. Chaos. Okay. Also, oh, you didn't think she was going to feed him the cat?
Starting point is 00:06:04 Yeah. She packed him lunch. Saw that coming for fucking 50 miles. Yeah. And also, when your cat dies, you don't keep it near your house. Barry it. No, you call... Like, when Remy died, when my dog died two, three months ago.
Starting point is 00:06:19 Well, you enshrined him in a throne. He's in your living room. I know. I understand that, but you had him mummified. It's lock and key. Yeah, you got to, yeah, you take the meat out. You gotta take the meat out. You got to put him in a funny position
Starting point is 00:06:30 with a tuxedo and a hat. This is what I did. But my point, no, I didn't do that. We had somebody take them to a facility and he's, we got his ashes. You're like, what the fuck is he doing? Did he bury it in the backyard? I don't think they showed anything like that.
Starting point is 00:06:47 We are doing spoilers, but it's been out at this point for, you know, two months. Right, anyway. No, I, what I enjoyed was, You weren't scared at all No, dude, I'm a 43-year-old man I wasn't scared Okay
Starting point is 00:07:01 I was scared You do that in the studio here I know I do that I know I do that It's not that crazy Yeah, yeah But I have ticks Yeah, you do
Starting point is 00:07:12 Yeah, you know Oh here's another I I'm gonna offer McCone some money And this is what the deal is If you want to hear my new thing I've been For some reason bad
Starting point is 00:07:23 friends and other my podcasts have been popping up in my algorithm. I'm trying to stay, you know, with, you know, the things I want to watch, which is what, Carlos? Like, people in Africa doing things. Football clips and people in India doing things. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, you know, you know, but for some reason, comedy is, like, coming up. Oh, good. Like, when you see your friend doing stand-up, you just, you go fast, right?
Starting point is 00:07:47 I shut my phone off. I see someone I know in, like, what's going on? What's going on? Who's this girl? Yeah, yeah, yeah, right away. Especially a crowdwork kind of video. I put the phone down. Yeah, I'm out.
Starting point is 00:07:56 But anyway, I realized, well, so I had a book signing yesterday. I know it's real. It's just such a funny phrase for you to say. Because most people, that book signings, they wrote a book. He's never laughed at much ever. Okay. Get it out. Get it all out, man.
Starting point is 00:08:23 What's the book? Oh, there was the... Dead way. Cartoon. Yeah, it's not a cartoon, man. What is it? It's called literature. It's animated.
Starting point is 00:08:31 Yeah, yeah. So it's a graphic novel. It's a graphic novel. It's a cartoon. No, but it's awesome. All right. I actually read it, by the way. I read it.
Starting point is 00:08:42 I read it. It's in our front room. I read one. Okay. I only have one. Huh? I only have one. Well, it took about...
Starting point is 00:08:48 It took about five minutes. All right. I think Dr. I just say I read it. I read it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not Harry Potter, you know what I mean? I really enjoyed it.
Starting point is 00:08:57 No, you didn't. And I don't care. Yes, I did. I don't care what you think about it. Now you're getting me wronged up. I'm trying to be zan. Uh-huh. Anyway.
Starting point is 00:09:07 Book signing. And so, you know, one guy said, can you write this? Now this is a war, Bobby Lee. And I go, why would you want me to write that? He goes, it's something that you would say. You say on the show all the time. Right. And then I go, what a story?
Starting point is 00:09:23 some other things I say, you know what I mean? And then also I'm watching algorithms. And so there's certain isms that I have that drive me crazy that I do. So every time I say an ism now, I'm going to give McCone $5. Oh, nice. What's the giving? I'll give you some of the things that I, yeah, yeah, yeah. Is this that?
Starting point is 00:09:42 Yeah, is that. The thing is that. Yeah, yeah. Can I say something? $5. Yeah. No, no, no. No, no, no, no, as well.
Starting point is 00:09:50 $5. No, we're saying, no, we're saying, though. No, you're not. No, no, no. We're saying what they are now, and then there's going to be a time when the game begins. Thousands of dollars. From now one. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:10:00 There's no way I'm giving you 25 bucks right now. All right. So I'm just telling, let's get the isms out now. And then if I say them, I give McCown. And we'll add it up through time and then I'll give them money. Okay. All right. So let's write them out.
Starting point is 00:10:14 So it's, I think two yes is fine. Three years? Yeah, yeah. It's got to be three years. So if I say yeah, that's fine. Mm-hmm. I can say two no's. No, you get one no.
Starting point is 00:10:26 I get one. That's not fair. That's not fair. Dude, this is your isom rule. All right, this is my ism rule. All right. Are you writing it down, McCone? But I want to see it on a, on the thing.
Starting point is 00:10:36 Can I say something? Can I say something? Which I don't even know that I say that. Do I say that? All the time. Okay. The thing is that, that's another thing that I say, right? What are some other things I say?
Starting point is 00:10:48 Whoa, dude. I don't, I've never said, Whoa, dude, dude. Give me the loot. I haven't said, give me the long time. Give me the loop. I haven't said that a long time. That kept, what?
Starting point is 00:11:00 Your urban Bobby. Yeah, urban. That whole thing, like, whenever there's a black person around, some octaves change in your voice. No, no, we can't do that because I'm being, you know what I'm trying to get to the rhythm and their energy. Like, vibe. It's a vibe. I'm vibing.
Starting point is 00:11:13 You do have to match there. Yeah, you have to vibe. Yeah, you have to vibe. If he's in character, he can say anything. How you doing, bro? You know, there's some people that you say that to, you know? Yeah, Mexican, okay. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:22 I didn't say that. I did. I did. He did. Oh, you did. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it is. What else?
Starting point is 00:11:27 You know, you mean? That's a Ronnie Chang game. You know what? Yeah. He says that. You know what? Yeah. Oh, I say that?
Starting point is 00:11:36 Yeah. All right. That can't be a thing. Why? Because you say it. Yeah. Yeah. So that's not an ism.
Starting point is 00:11:42 I have no restrictions. No one came up to me about the isms. Take, take, you know what, out. War, war, war. Anything about war, unless I'm talking about Iran. Then we're good. Then we're good. But if I tell somebody we're in a war,
Starting point is 00:11:57 repeating what Andrew just said. You do that all the time. Whatever he says, you say the word immediately after. Like give me an example. Like if he calls something like ugly, you would say, yeah, yeah, that's ugly. But that's $10.
Starting point is 00:12:11 Because yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's ugly would be $10. No, it's two yes. He'll go, yeah, yeah, that's ugly. Double offense. Yes, well, then if two yes, it's fine because it's three yes is the rule. Oh, yes, there's the rule. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:12:21 Thank you. Are you out of your fucking mind, dude? He does say that. I don't think that's an ism. It's not. I mean, it's like angrily say it loud. Are you fucking mind? Yeah, and then you fall away.
Starting point is 00:12:35 You kick the table. All right. Kicking the table. Yeah. That's $5. Kicking the table is $5? Okay. Laughing like Elmo.
Starting point is 00:12:45 Okay. That's, McCone. Now you're being a jerk. Yeah. You're being a jerk. Breathing. Yeah. You know the way you breathe?
Starting point is 00:12:53 Yeah, you can't do that. Okay, wait. But that's enough. Can I finish? No, Elmo laugh has got to get out. No, get it out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just put an X through it.
Starting point is 00:12:59 All right, put an X through it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I have an elbow laugh. Sometimes. What? Just in case. Yeah, but I have an Elmo laugh. I never thought of it that way, but yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:13:10 He brings up. I said, yeah, twice. Yeah. Oh, fuck. Five dollars. No, that's not five dollars. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I caught myself.
Starting point is 00:13:17 You got close. That's it. That's one. Write it down. There's no way I can do this. There's no way I can do it. All right, we'll try. Just for today. Let's just try it today.
Starting point is 00:13:32 Is anyway fine? Any way's fine. Anyway, it's fine. Let me just finish what I was trying to say. Oh, but the obsession. I'm happy a young filmmaker is sprouting and it's going to lead other young filmmakers to make stuff and then we can start getting back to making shit.
Starting point is 00:13:47 So maybe it helps. I think it proves a point that we can make a movie for the amount of money that they use. Now there's a weird thing that's happening with that. It's like everyone's like $750,000 it's going to make over $200 million and you're like, I know, but no one got paid.
Starting point is 00:14:03 I understand that. So someone makes a lot of money and everyone makes no money. And then they'll go, but they'll get it on the next one. You're like, I know, but some of these people might not get the next one. But that kid will. Yeah, but not everybody will.
Starting point is 00:14:15 I know, but when Jordan did get out, they bought him a car. It's the same company, Blumhouse. Yeah. On top of the money that he got. I wouldn't want the car. I'd be like, I have a car. That's how I got to the shoot.
Starting point is 00:14:28 I understand. Just give me the money. They did give him the money as well, but they also gave him a nice car. I think they were probably going to give this kid a bonus, and my guess was 10. Mill? Yeah, and sign him to like an overall deal
Starting point is 00:14:40 with them to make two more films. Yeah, but a different movie. Texas Taintown Massacre, I think, right? Oh, that's going to be amazing. Yeah, he's good. He's talented. Yeah, he's a talented kid. You can just tell by, yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:51 Why did you cover up your comedy store tattoo with a sticker or something? Because I have a new one right here. Oh, we didn't even see this. The Arsenal tattoo. Did you see this? Big Gooner. He Instagramed it, yeah. Instagramed it, yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:03 That's great. And then she retouched my... She would touch my comedy store and she would touch the mad part here. Was it the same artist that did the original? Yeah, he's only one, you use one girl char. And she's great. What are you doing with that? Star?
Starting point is 00:15:16 on your wrist. I'm going to get it removed. Really? Yeah, I'm getting this removed. What if you want to rejoin Fallout Boy? You got to have it. There's Elmo laugh. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:27 Yeah, there is an Elmo laugh. $15. Yeah, there's an Elmo laugh. I'm telling you, though, that good. Because that was so funny what you just said. Let me see your, you know, that was during the fallout boy era. Yeah, that's why I said it. Let me see the Gooner tattoo. Gooner for life, dude.
Starting point is 00:15:43 Good for you. Congratulations. Oh, thank you. Oh, we've started. been here for... We've been here for an hour and a half. An hour and a half and... You guys are late?
Starting point is 00:15:53 No. You guys are late. Sit out. Sit down. Guys. Guys, how are you? Ladies and gentlemen, it's Jules and Isa. Yes.
Starting point is 00:16:05 Back in the studio. Belated happy birthday, McColl. Balletta to be birthday. I went to his party. You didn't go. Carlos went. Yes, you were invited. It's in your tax.
Starting point is 00:16:16 He showed it to me. He was really upset. You didn't go. go. In fact, McCone, when I showed up, dude, this is so funny and pathetic. He's up, look at he's laughing. He knows. I walk in. I walk in with my wife and our friend and we walk upstairs. They're sitting in a circle. Yeah. In suits. Yeah. Like this. No one's talking. Of course. Nine people and I go, I'm going to leave this. This is not a party. It's midsummer. It's midsummer. It really is. But you change the vibe when you come in. I did. And we took us
Starting point is 00:16:42 outside and it made it so much better. Well, yes. That was always the intention. His friends are very weird. Can I be honest with you right now? Absolutely. Yeah, Friday night when your brothers and his friends came to my Minnesota show. Some of the weirdest people on planet. Yeah, and they try to be,
Starting point is 00:16:58 you know what I loved about your brothers? Because you gave them a talk, did you not? Yeah. You go, try to be more engaging. Right? So they're trying to smile and go, thanks, Bob! Right?
Starting point is 00:17:08 But I know that it's because you gave them a pep talk. So I don't believe what they're saying. Yeah. Yeah, they have to believe in it. They get scared of the Hollywood of it all. They're not used to. I'm not Hollywood. Why do you think we're doing this podcast?
Starting point is 00:17:20 Good, not yelling. Good. Take it down. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is that a part of the thing? What is that? Yeah. Oh, is that you at Disclosure Day?
Starting point is 00:17:27 Did you see the movie? Yeah. That's why I left last episode. Yeah, what do you think? What did you think of the movie? I can say anything because I know, but is it good or bad? It looks like a cardboard. Yeah, it's so crazy.
Starting point is 00:17:38 Why'd you crop off? Why'd you crop out Steven Spielberg? Dude, Zoom in. He wasn't next to you? Zoom into this, Newark. Look at that. Look at. Look, look.
Starting point is 00:17:48 Are you looking for a condominium in Marina del Rey? Dude, you look, so funny. That is such a, it's like a press poster. Yeah. And did you purposely expose some of your belly or? Oh, is that a new fashion thing? New to this area? Come to Trivian at it, the local pub.
Starting point is 00:18:08 You're running for like state, something state government. That's insane. Girls, how are you? We're good. New glasses? No. I just wear contacts. You never wear that. I've never seen you in those. Have you worn these to the show?
Starting point is 00:18:23 No, I've never seen those. Do you wear contacts? Yeah, I do. What are those? Just sunglasses? Yeah. Let me see, put them on. Let's see what she's Bono. Yeah, let's go Bono. Yeah, let's go Bono. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Where the streets have no name. Say that.
Starting point is 00:18:38 Where the streets have, go ahead. Oh, where they're from, the streets don't have names. Yeah, they don't. Yeah. So can I tell you this something that happened? Yeah. And just give me your best judgment as a, there's a couple of things I want to say. Okay.
Starting point is 00:18:54 Okay. All right. As a compadre. Yeah. As a patriot. Yeah. America first. God bless.
Starting point is 00:18:59 Yeah. No one's better. Girls say America first real fast. America first. Thank you. Okay. You don't believe it, though. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:19:08 There's no belief system. Yeah. You can tell. So I was, we're on a little break on our tour. So I said to the comment, the comedy store and everybody, I go, you know, I'm taking a week off. Nice. I don't want to stand up. I want to relax, hang out with my girlfriend, hang out with the family,
Starting point is 00:19:24 all right? And I had a friend call and say, um, you said you were going to be performing a couple of months ago on a Saturday night, this specific Saturday night, which is last night. And I go, yeah, but I'm not, you know, I didn't call in. So, but my family's in town, you know, is a whole thing that we're coming. Did you tell her you were going to be there that night? A couple of months ago, I think she had texted me saying that, like, are you performing whatever the day it is, right? So I go, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:19:57 Is yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, is yeah, fuck. That's $20. That's $20. Some of my isms, if I give, I say them, I have to give, yeah, I'm going to $5. Anyway, so look, so you did may have said, which we do all the time, they go, do you perform on Saturday in like August? You're like, I don't know, man, it's June. Yeah, probably, I guess.
Starting point is 00:20:14 I have no idea. So that's what happened. Right, I understand. And so all week, this person's like, you're not? I go, I'm taking a break. You're not? And so finally Friday, which is a couple days ago, I called the Comedy Store Rose. I go, is there any way you can just slot me into the main room at 8?
Starting point is 00:20:32 And so when you do that, what do they do? They have to readjust, call everyone and go. Somebody gets bumped. Somebody gets bombed. You know, there's, you know. It happens. Then I go reserve a table. Mitzie's table, they reserved.
Starting point is 00:20:42 Very nice. Right. And then I was also involved. invited to, I'm not going to drop my name. Should. I don't want to. Why not? Because I'm going to like you.
Starting point is 00:20:51 Hmm. Oh, my God. I mean, people who know, Elmo left. Five more dollars. Is that close? That's close enough. All right. Five more dollars.
Starting point is 00:21:00 This person invited me rock star. Mm-hmm. I can say that. Ace freely. Close. Okay. Close. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:21:08 A guy that's in a band, it was like, hey, do you and your girlfriend want to hang out and go have dinner out and watch a movie? and I said I can't because I have to do this show Saturday night right? I mean no
Starting point is 00:21:23 but go ahead what would you have said yeah I'd rather hang out with you I'd say I'd say I would take a week off and that's not what I do okay so you did the show for these people so yeah so I show up at the comedy store and I go to the cover booth
Starting point is 00:21:35 and I go are my people here and they're like OR main room they're like they haven't checked in yet but the show just started oh no I know and then I'm on stage and I'm on stage and I'm on stage and
Starting point is 00:21:45 You can see Mitzie's section. You see the booth from stage. No one's in there. Oh my God. Okay, no one's in there. Why are you shaking your head? It's crazy. We're in agreement.
Starting point is 00:21:56 It's insane. Right, right, right. And number one, also it's like, they could have sold those seats. Yeah, they could have. For a lot of money. And they're very expensive. They're very expensive.
Starting point is 00:22:02 Those are like nice seats. Right. And then afterwards, I go to the cover booth, they go, I should they checked in. They're not in Mitzis section. And they're like, I'm telling you, no one's checked. No one had a guest list.
Starting point is 00:22:14 Did you text her? No, I didn't text her. I just let it go. I went to dinner with my girlfriend afterwards. But you didn't check in with the pizza? I was so mad. I was so mad I couldn't even text. Okay, time out.
Starting point is 00:22:27 Okay. What if they tried to go, their name wasn't on the list? And they were like, well, we don't want to bother them. And they just left. There's no way that could happen. That definitely can happen. I know, but they have my number directly. But you didn't text her after she didn't show.
Starting point is 00:22:42 So maybe she showed up, couldn't get in and didn't want to bother you. The cover booth goes, we promise you no one came up and said, we're on Bobby's list. After this. I'm going to tell you what happened. I'm at dinner. She texts. So I tell her, my show was at 8 with her, you know, and she, at 9.30, she's like, we're at the store. So our dinner ran late.
Starting point is 00:23:04 And this is why you don't do that. Right? And I go, I didn't respond to it. Good. Then today, what happened? She went over. Came to my house. This woman came to your home?
Starting point is 00:23:14 Yeah. She's a dear friend. Oh, I was like, what is going on? Yeah, she came to my home and what? Why don't you love me? Yeah, yeah. What? She went with four Lucky Boy burritos.
Starting point is 00:23:26 Which is my favorite breakfast burrito. We know. Yeah. And then six fresh eggs from her own chickens. Farm. Yeah. I don't want those. Yeah, I don't want those.
Starting point is 00:23:35 I don't do foreign eggs. I don't do eggs that aren't free range. No, I got a free range of dog. Yeah. Are they free range? No, they're from Northridge. How do you know? You've never been there.
Starting point is 00:23:44 They're Northridge. Northridge, yeah. It's in her backyard. Her kid was there. Yeah, her kid was there, yeah. She tried to use that as, as sympathy card. That's right, yeah, yeah. How old is the kid?
Starting point is 00:23:54 Six. That's so mean. It's so mean. Boy, a little boy? Girl. Oh, even worse. I love her too. Because she's a sweet girl.
Starting point is 00:24:00 Yeah, yeah, it's one of those. Right, so she's playing all this on you. What I said was, I said, I don't want to see her. I don't want to see her. And I go, say that I left my girlfriend in her car. So I was just in my room when they were at the house. Awesome.
Starting point is 00:24:13 Right. So she was in your home. She's hearing this now. She's in your home. Yeah. And you never said hi. No way. He never came out.
Starting point is 00:24:21 No, so we had to entertain. How long was she there? Like 30 minutes. That's not bad. That's not bad. I, in my mind was like she stayed for dinner. Yeah, but you have to understand. That's a horror movie.
Starting point is 00:24:33 You can't leave your room. Yeah. She's like, you know, I think I'll sleep over. See when he gets back tomorrow. I understand. You're trying to get out of your house. But now while this is happening, I'm sitting in my room on one of my chairs like this. for 30 minutes
Starting point is 00:24:45 okay that's not that bad just lay down and I keep texting is she gone yet they're like no she's still here you could be doing seat ups I stopped doing that because you know why I stopped doing that the discouragement I thought it was 100 a day right yeah yeah yeah yeah I started
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Starting point is 00:30:14 I did a book signing you laugh You know You sang I did a book signing is so funny I know but it's it's Somebody on the internet Meme his face go I'm sorry for calling you Pippi up front That was wrong
Starting point is 00:30:30 I think that's what it is I apologize You know what But let me ask you something As my friend who's an author Thank you very much Stop it. Okay, anyway.
Starting point is 00:30:43 Is any way up there? What? Is any way an ism? Just a natural transition. It's a natural transition. You can't put any way up there. No. You can't.
Starting point is 00:30:53 How am I going to transition then? There's no way to transition. Only okay during transition. Okay. Okay. So this woman was there for 30 minutes and then how did you get? Did you say goodbye? How do you, she?
Starting point is 00:31:06 Yeah, because we're really. close with her. Oh, okay. You know her well enough. She's family. Well, she's so close that you lied to her and didn't see her while she was at your home. I mean, she must be close friends. Well, because I was, I would be enraged. You're right. Would you be enraged? I'll tell you something. They wouldn't be in my home. That's what I'm saying. I would call and go, hey, man, you bailed. They saved that seat. That's kind of fucked up. Which, by the way, this happened to me. This happened to all of us where people go, we're coming, we're coming. Somebody told me one time they go, I was like, you didn't, did you not show up there? We were like, we didn't see you. We were there. We left.
Starting point is 00:31:36 Oh, they're in a different room. They went to the OR. And I was like, did you say I'm Andrew Santino's guest? Because they would have gone, he's in there. They're like, no. It's like, okay, well. That's why you. I don't know what you want me to do.
Starting point is 00:31:50 I'm specific. I'm like main room. The show starts at seven. I'm up at this time. Yeah. You mean, talk to this person. And then they text you and go, hey, what time do you go on? What time is the show start?
Starting point is 00:32:01 Yeah. What room is it in? Yeah. And you're like, look up. I point, I do the arrow. I go, look up. Look at the text. fucking two texts ago. I just said all of it.
Starting point is 00:32:09 Or look up at the billboard. There's a main room thing and an OR thing, right? And you could just look at her, and we're always on the billboard. Yeah. So it's like, just look at the board. Look at the billboard. Yeah. So I'm at dinner at 930.
Starting point is 00:32:23 She goes, you know what I mean? Oh, dinner ran late, right? So what would you do? You would say. She was really sorry, though. I don't care. I don't give a fuck. That is also Urban Bob.
Starting point is 00:32:34 I would not tech. You're smart to not text to. get mad, but when they talk to you again, just go. No, it's forever dead. I would say it's not cool. It's forever dead. Well, I go, it's not cool. Forever dead.
Starting point is 00:32:45 I want to be forever dead. Do you really want to die forever? Forever. Do you guys know that song? Yeah. What shirt is that? Rocksie music. Oh.
Starting point is 00:32:58 It's mine. Oh, that's a cool. I was just going to say. Yeah. Is that Bobby distressed? Yeah. It's a distress. I didn't like the distress.
Starting point is 00:33:04 I think it just said it too much, so I gave it to her. He gives me his failure. one. So I have a lot of new shirts. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:33:11 It's like every morning he's just on the dining table, just scratching all your shirt, he just looks so weird. That's his new hobby. He's Bobby distressed. Yeah, yeah. Yeah,
Starting point is 00:33:20 he was all the coffee things in the pool. I know. Yeah, we already talked about it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I already said it last time. Who had to clean out the pool?
Starting point is 00:33:30 My cool pool guy. What did he say? He's like, I don't know. He was really worried. He was worried. He didn't know what happened. Yeah, it's actually not.
Starting point is 00:33:36 Yeah, it's actually not. a good thing. Why is your pool black? Because coffee grounds are going to get in the filter system? You'll probably buy it. No, it's, it's, um, instant coffee. Oh, it's okay. It's not ground. Yeah, yeah, it's fine.
Starting point is 00:33:47 Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's fine. It's totally fine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that's another thing. Because, um, when you take a white shirt and you soak it, if anyone wants to distress their shirt, right? Don't give away your secrets. Right? You take a whole bottle of hot water. Yeah. You put hot water in a bucket. And I take, you do want to, are you interested? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:34:06 I feel like you're not. I'm listening. Oh, okay. You take, pour the coffee in it, instant coffee, right? And you let it sit for there for days. And then do you scratch it with rocks? Sandpaper. Sandpaper.
Starting point is 00:34:20 But here's... Go get some rocks. No, but here's what I just found out. Hmm. And I found out a trick. Do you want to give this way? I do because it's free knowledge for everybody. Good.
Starting point is 00:34:31 I had a wardrobe for this movie I'm doing. And I asked the wardrobe lady, because they know all about distressing. Yeah. And I'm telling her all these things I'm doing. She's like, just go to this company. Just do it. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:34:43 So I'm just got to. So what I'm doing, but they go, they do it in bulk. So you need 12 shirts at least. You got 12? No, I'm saving. I have like four or five arrived. I'm waiting for seven more. I'm going to bring it in.
Starting point is 00:34:54 And it adds, no holes, rock wash. And then I'll put paint and I'll do a little bit more distressing. But, you know. You should just throw them in your dryer and then throw some rocks in there. I don't know what it'll do. It's, you know, let's test, let's figure it out. You put coffee in your pool. That is true.
Starting point is 00:35:12 That is true. That is true. That's like Brewster's millions or something. Like a kid gets a house. He's like, well, let's put coffee in the pool. That's insane. It's insane. I want to build a slide out of my bedroom window.
Starting point is 00:35:23 Yeah. And I also want a publicly from these two friends of mine that, you know, publicly publicly announced that I'm UK. So. You're United Kingdom? No, Uno King. The Uno King, right? We talked about that.
Starting point is 00:35:44 Yeah, you're the Uno King. Does he beat you at a time? He won six games in a row. Five. But he is using tactics like threats and bribery. He is. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:35:54 He tried to bribe our mom and he got really mad that he didn't. Well, that is what the kings would do. Kings would bribe. Kings are big bribers. Dude, we colonize. And you know what they are? In the kingdom? What?
Starting point is 00:36:07 I found this out last night. They're goop farmers. Do you know what a goop farmer is? No, I don't know what a goop farmer. You're looking at two of them. Yeah, it sounds racist. It's not. Goop farmer in medieval times.
Starting point is 00:36:20 There's one letter away for being racist. Goop. Do medieval times. It's called a goop picker or a goop farmer. What they do is, uh, oh, gong farmer.
Starting point is 00:36:32 What is it? Gong farmer. Yeah. A night. So stop. Sorry. Back up, back up, back up, back up. What'd you call them?
Starting point is 00:36:41 Goop farmer. Yeah, yeah, nowhere near. But Goop sounded funny. It is, but a gong farmer is a what? A gong farmer in medieval and tutor error labor responsible for manual removing human waste from city, cesspice, and castle privies. Right. So when you were in the castle, they have video of this, they would poop off the side of the castle in like a shoot. And then they had to go clean up the poop and wheelbarrow it away.
Starting point is 00:37:02 They were compensated very well. They said, this was a very good job. Picking up poop was one of the best jobs. Yeah, because you have to imagine in a castle, right? You're pooping out of a hole. And just off the side of the wall. Off the side of a wall, probably five stories up. The wall must be.
Starting point is 00:37:19 Look at that. Yeah, that's it. Oh, my God. Imagine. And there's the... Once a year they have to do the canal, you know what I mean? The canal cleaning. Got to clean it.
Starting point is 00:37:27 Some, like a little Brad Williams, that's a... You know what I mean? And get up there. And he would get stuck so they would tie some of his foot and just pull him down. Yeah. It's a Shoshak redemption kind of a situation Gong farming Remember when he escaped?
Starting point is 00:37:42 Yeah, yeah, yeah You guys are gong farmers Yeah, you're a gong farmer But me need good money That's a cool job It's a very good job You guys aren't good with smells though I can't smell
Starting point is 00:37:51 Okay, well then you'd be good at gonging Yeah Did you guys go to McCone's birthday? Tristan was there Why didn't you guys go? I had to babysit And then I got really tired Why didn't you go?
Starting point is 00:38:04 I didn't even know about it. Wow. Interesting. It was really, really fun. I didn't get invited as well. You know he did. Yeah, yeah. You have to direct invite me. You can't put me in a group chat. Our direct text message. All right, let me, I'm going to look it up.
Starting point is 00:38:19 Yeah, I'm sorry. Yeah, you should. Yeah, I'm going to look it up right now. Because I knew you'd make a thing out of it. And then as soon as I went to leave, I go, what do you need? What's going on? And McCone goes, can I have $100? Oh, it's this. Yeah, it's a part of full invite. Okay, so what I want to say this is,
Starting point is 00:38:35 Sometimes you send me videos. No, I'm being real. This is like, check out this silly video on like your TikTok. He does. Right? And so then I'll click on it and it's the most uninteresting thing that you could ever watch. So in my mind, I'm like, oh, it's just one of his silly TikTok. Sure.
Starting point is 00:38:52 It says McCone is 27 and has a, I don't even read. If I see a square thing and it looks like a video, I just, I just ignore it. You can't part of full, Bobby. You can't part of all made it. You got to write in a text what it is. Yeah. And then sent it. Part of full, he's never going to open.
Starting point is 00:39:07 I don't know what it is. He doesn't know how to do that. I do know how to press a button. He doesn't know how. Yes, I do. I can do it right now. Well, then why didn't you do it for his birthday? Because I thought it was a TikTok video.
Starting point is 00:39:17 I'm sorry, I'm raising my voice. Yeah, and you're leaving Tuesday and we're going to miss you. Wait, where are you going? Back home. Oh, no. Yeah. And so is your mom. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:39:26 How long are you guys going to be gone for? Well, she's going to be gone for the whole year. Until Trump's out of office, I guess, huh? Yep. Yeah, yeah. Wait, you're going to be gone for the rest of the year? Yeah. And then maybe come back next year.
Starting point is 00:39:39 Yeah, because immediately when I get back, my school starts. Okay, so what I want to ask, and it's not a personal thing, right? But you guys have two younger brothers who I don't know at all. Can they come instead? They don't have visas. They don't have visas yet. Okay. Get them a visa, Bob.
Starting point is 00:39:55 I'll get a visa. Yeah. Now, here's my worry, Andrew, and if you can help me. Please. Because I have familiars living with me. you know and you are a familiar you call them gong farmers I call them familiar
Starting point is 00:40:09 I actually call them goop farmers on accident but gong is the right yeah yeah yeah gong sounds more rare so um it does sound more rich yeah yeah yeah you gong piece of shit
Starting point is 00:40:21 what you're doing on my neighborhood or whatever get out of here you fucking gong farmer yeah yeah anyway um that's another transition yeah another transition
Starting point is 00:40:32 oh he's transitioning Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go ahead. Get another five. 30. Yeah. $30.
Starting point is 00:40:40 So, my, your mother is my housekeeper, essentially. Yeah. She's going to be gone for three months now. Yeah, what are you going to do?
Starting point is 00:40:50 Well, she promises me that this one right here will clean. Pick up the slack, huh? Yeah, but she won't. Yeah. I will. No, you won't.
Starting point is 00:40:58 I will. So what I'm asking you is, do you know anybody that can help me clean? 100 million. Yeah. I will, I swear. No, no. You don't, you don't.
Starting point is 00:41:07 I will. If it's front row, Justin Bieber, you will. That's exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. If it's Sabrina Carpenter, you will. Clean the house, you won't. I already promise you, I'll clean it. Yeah, but whatever you've done, it's not good.
Starting point is 00:41:23 What's this? Topless cleaning. I don't want that. What? Turn that off. What are you doing, Carlos? Carlos. Carlos, what are you doing?
Starting point is 00:41:29 What's a dream maid? No, no, Carlos, stop. Is that who you use Dreammade? No. I just do it myself. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How about McCone? Macone can clean your house.
Starting point is 00:41:37 He always says he loves cleaning houses. Mm-hmm. Are you good at cleaning houses? I'm pretty good. Yeah. For money, he can be good. You could, if I gave you, let me. You don't think McCone's better than me?
Starting point is 00:41:49 Yeah. Whoa. Yeah, because he's scared of me. Yeah, he is. That's true. Yeah, you're not. It's like living with a fourth-dimensional ghost when everyone's gone. That's so.
Starting point is 00:42:02 We don't say hi. You're not. She doesn't acknowledge me. Yeah, I do. No, you don't. Yeah, I do. No, you don't acknowledge me. It's fine.
Starting point is 00:42:09 I don't want to acknowledge you either. I say, before I get to Bobby, and you're just like, uh-uh. Yeah, all right. So, I never made that noise. I've never made that noise before my, I've never done that. Okay. Yeah, yeah. So what, I don't want to get angry.
Starting point is 00:42:27 I was trying to be calm. Make it easy, baby. I know, I'm trying to relax. This is what he was like in Uno. He was screaming at us. back Bob. Yeah, I betrayed even my girlfriend at Oona. Be slick back Bob right now. You're good. Slickback Bob. That slick back Bob. There he is. I need help. Because I live in a house. She's not going to do it. She's not. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:42:48 I have someone that's amazing. Yeah, so thank you so much. Yeah, I would love to send her your way. No, you're done. How about this? I'll give you a shot. Yeah, she has to prove herself. I'll give you a shot. I'm so scared. So you're going to fold my underwear the way your mom folds them. Yeah. Okay. No, you're not. No fucking will. No way.
Starting point is 00:43:07 You're just going to throw them in there where they got all crinkly. I will. I'll call her. I'll ask how she folds it. Yeah, no, no, no. This is what she does. This is what she does.
Starting point is 00:43:15 Have you never seen them? You've never seen her do it? No. Oh. So what she does is she'll put clothes in the dryer, right? Then I'll come home, right? And there's a literal pyramid of clothes on top of the dryer.
Starting point is 00:43:29 And those are the clean ones. Those are the clean one. Okay. very nice. While she's washing other things. right the pyramid becomes bigger and bigger right and then it becomes geiza the pyramid of geiza it is yeah yeah and then i'm like and then what happens when you dry clothing and you don't fold them immediately tell me what happens wrinkles wrinkles babies wrinkles baby right building the clothing
Starting point is 00:43:52 pyramid of geiza of geiza yeah and so that's what i don't want right i also this is not my this is gonna come no she's not fold your clothes a 90 year old lady is going to come you're going to You're outsource it to a nine-year-old lady. That's insane. That's crazy. She has apps? Yeah. She has cleaning apps.
Starting point is 00:44:10 Oh, abs. Oh, abs. Oh, abs. Oh, I thought she's like, boop, boop. This has a phone. Yeah. Clean this room. Room clean.
Starting point is 00:44:22 Clean. Yeah. Hey. You got to prove yourself somehow. I will. You know what you should make her do? What? Clean the outside of the house. It needs a good washing because of all the dirt from the trees and the stones.
Starting point is 00:44:32 I know. He doesn't even care about that. Yes, he does. I do care. Appearance matters. The whole house looks like vinegar because of him. No. What do you mean by that?
Starting point is 00:44:42 The balcony and there's so much stains everywhere. And it's just his shirts laying out in the sun and it's like all kinds of colors out there. Even our mom gave up on it. Yeah. Oh, so you're, you don't make that noise. Yeah. Made that noise. Yeah, that's another five.
Starting point is 00:45:01 It's like 40 bucks. Yeah, it's 40 bucks now. You also have repeated me twice and we're up to. We're cruising. We're cruising, yeah. We're doing, I'll give you, I'll, I'll give me. I did this another way, I just repeated cruising. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:45:12 Another five. That's amazing. That's not a thing. Okay. You've never repeated a word that I've said. I don't like to sound like you. Okay. All right, that's fair.
Starting point is 00:45:25 Okay. I'll hear it. Anyway, yeah, yeah, thank you. Thank you. Anyway, anyway. The thing is, this is this. I'm going to That's another five
Starting point is 00:45:36 I'm going to give I'm going to one day I'm going to I'm going to move a couch I'm going to look underneath See there's a difference Andrew between Surface cleaning
Starting point is 00:45:48 Yeah And deep cleaning Yeah you got to give me the difference Tell me some of the difference Service cleaning is when you're just going over Just what's to the eye What's available? Deep cleaning is what's not available
Starting point is 00:45:57 Under the beds Under the couches Behind the refrigerator You've got to pull that thing out You got to pull that thing out. Yeah, you do. Can I deep clean once a week instead of every day? No, no.
Starting point is 00:46:09 Every day, absolutely. Every day, deep clean. No, not everyday deep clean. You do clean every day. Yeah. Deep clean once a week. Yeah. Okay.
Starting point is 00:46:17 Maybe twice if you feel like it. If I feel like it. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm just going to do that symbol. That's how you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you're like, oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:46:26 And then you're like, I'm busy. I got things to do. Yeah, so what's your job? The baby can clean. Yeah, the baby. That baby can clean. One years old now. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:46:35 Once you're one, you can start cleaning. Can he walk? Yeah. He can clean. The baby. If you can walk, he can clean. Baby's obsessed with you to Bobby. The baby's walking around a lot.
Starting point is 00:46:46 Yeah, the baby's saying my name all the time. Yeah. How? Bobby, Bobby, Bobby. Oh, so it's clear. Even if he hears me in the phone, he'll yell my name. We ask him, like, who's your favorite person? He says, Bobby.
Starting point is 00:47:00 We should get him on the show. Can he get on this show? No, he's too young. Put him on the show. Yeah, he'll cry. He doesn't, he can't conceptualize what this is. All he says is this deep, gross orange. You're talking about me?
Starting point is 00:47:16 No. Yeah, and this color, it would freak him out. Yeah, too much. It's too much. I get it. Do you see all these paintings? He would think that he was in another world. He isn't here.
Starting point is 00:47:26 You aren't another world. Yeah, yeah. I'm sad that you're going to go home. That sucks. I mean, that's good. So what do you, so since you've been, how long you've been in America? Like four months? Four months.
Starting point is 00:47:35 What have you been doing? I've been, um. Have you learned anything? Yeah. What have you been doing? Like, I've just been walking around. Why? Huh?
Starting point is 00:47:46 I've been walking around. Yeah, I'll drive around. I'll see that. I've driven past you before. Yeah. And you don't even acknowledge my presence. Wait, what? I do.
Starting point is 00:47:54 You don't acknowledge me. Yeah. Where are you going? I'm going to like the coffee shop. Alfreds? I'm going to Alfred's? Yeah. That's the only place you're going.
Starting point is 00:48:02 No, I'm going to. Give me some other coffee shops in that area. Like the books and coffee one. Oh, the books and coffee, yeah. There's a, have you ever been to the Witches brew? No, but I just think this is America. What have you been doing? Walking, coffee.
Starting point is 00:48:20 Coffee, yeah. Nothing. Really nothing. So you really took advantage of coming to America. And she'll do stuff like this. I'll go, hey, me and my girlfriend are going to go to dinner. You want to come? She goes, no.
Starting point is 00:48:30 What do you eat? Oh, oh, oh, thank you for asking. I'll tell you what they ate. Like Chipotle every day? No, I'll tell you what they eat. What? Thank you so much for asking. Okay, you're welcome.
Starting point is 00:48:41 Thank you. What they eat is, um, two weeks ago, I ordered Sun and Dang. Oh, my gosh. Okay. Mm-hmm. Which is short rib. It's like in a stew. There's carrots in it.
Starting point is 00:48:53 It has, it's like a Vikings like of meal. It's the best. Sunndeng. Do Sunundang, right? It's been in my fridge. for two, three weeks. Okay. Right?
Starting point is 00:49:02 And the other day, I just see them eating meat. Just like a bone and meat. I'm like, and they're like, oh, it's from, and I'm like, I can order you a new one.
Starting point is 00:49:13 Why waste? That's right, why waste? You think meat for three weeks in a fridge is fine? I'm not going to eat it for them. It's got to be fine. I know,
Starting point is 00:49:20 but you think that you, would you eat meat in your refrigerator that's been there for two or three weeks? No. We're not having diarrhea, so it's good. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:49:28 What do you mean? Well, what do you mean? Carlos? I'm with diarrhea. What? She's a point. She's Filipino stomach.
Starting point is 00:49:33 It's different. A better question would be, why is it in there for three weeks? Yeah. Throw it away. Why three weeks? We want to keep it. They want to keep it. Oh, it's you.
Starting point is 00:49:42 Yeah. You think it's me? Keep it in your room on the floor then. Yeah. On the room in the floor. If you like it so much. Yeah, it's just stacked with old food. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:49:51 And then I'll go, hey, I'm going to get postmates. And they're like, we don't want to eat it. Yeah, but that's good. They're not wasting money. They're not wasting your money. I don't care. You should. Why?
Starting point is 00:50:03 You should. I don't want to get an argument with you. I know. That's an ism of yours. Okay. Give me a breath. I'll give McCone $5. Okay, yeah.
Starting point is 00:50:14 Well, and so 95 I own because I already gave him $100 the other day. Yeah. It's an exhausting breath that you do. Sorry. All right. And, um... I'm going to tell you why I'm concerned about your money. I used all the money we've made on bad friends.
Starting point is 00:50:25 I gave it to a guy named Bertie Madoff, and it's not good. Warby Parker Now listen to me, okay Listen, hear you, hear you. Herey, heary, hey, hey, hey. Your wife's glasses are so dope, Warby Parker. They're so cool.
Starting point is 00:50:40 So cool. I'm going to go to Warby Parker. I'm going to get glasses there. You can now because you know what they do. They do prescriptions. That's what I'm doing. Not only do they make cool shades, you can get whatever prescription
Starting point is 00:50:48 you are wearing or need put into them. And by the way, the best part is you can try on the glasses virtually from home on your phone or iPad or whatever, it feels so real. You can look and see what it feels like and looks like on your face in your space. They made the whole entire experience even easier.
Starting point is 00:51:07 Now you can actually go into one of their stores as well and get an eye exam right there. No running around to multiple spots. No guessing if your prescription is even up to date. Yeah, not anymore. It's easy. Warby Parker's got everything in store. By the way, cool new styles all the time,
Starting point is 00:51:23 colors that are so different than anything that you see that's running around on those racks at the gas station. And by the way, the prescription glasses started $95. You can actually get quality and stylish frames at an affordable price. And they do, like Bob said, eye exams glasses, contact sunglasses. You don't got a piece it together anymore. They get over 300 retail stores across the United States. That's a lot of stores.
Starting point is 00:51:43 And Bob, for every pair of glasses that Warby Parker sells, they give a pair to someone in need, which is huge. 20 million pairs they've given out through their buy a pair, give a pair program, which I think is very cool, very huge. All right now, you can buy a pair of glasses. and get 20% of any additional pairs at Warbyparker.com slash bad friends. That's 20% off any additional pairs when you purchase one pair at W-A-R-B-Y Parker.com slash bad friends. Ultra! You guys ever woken up and immediately needed a nicotine pouch or a cup of coffee just to feel like a human?
Starting point is 00:52:17 How many pouches, cups of coffee, energy drinks? Are you guys ripping through on a daily basis? It's not good friends. That's why we're talking about Ultra. This has zero nicotine, okay? These are truly clean. Their plant-powered pouch is designed to sharpen your mind, lift your energy, all without caffeine, nicotine,
Starting point is 00:52:34 or that awful crash that you always experience. Look at one off right here. I have one in my ass right here, okay? He's got an ultra in there. In my mouth, it's been in there for a couple of hours. I have one in my mouth. These are truly clean plant-powered pouches designed to sharpen your mind
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Starting point is 00:53:42 Yeah. But what I'm saying is if I'm getting a sandwich or a bagel shop and I go, yeah, you guys want to get a little breakfast bagel thing in the morning? And they're like, no things. And then they'll go to the fridge and eat the three week you're old. meat. Oh, it's good. They're cleaning it out. Okay. Yeah. We just want to clean it first and then we'll say yes. You guys want to come over to my house and eat all my expired shit in the fridge?
Starting point is 00:54:03 You're more than welcome to. Yeah. It's always in there. We got so much shit in there. A lot of bananas. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Banana bread? Who makes banana bread? No, just bananas. Can you make banana bread? Mama can make one. Can she for me? Tell her just for me. Yeah. Because she's still... Well, she has a bakery. She's still got a crush on me, right? Yeah. Yeah. I like that. Love that. Dude, she's leaving me. Maybe I should. She's going back to the Philippines. I know.
Starting point is 00:54:27 They'll be back. Maybe I should go with her. I'll be back. Yeah, they'll be back. I leave my life here in Los Angeles for your mom. Be such a great story. Yeah, but what about our dad?
Starting point is 00:54:36 What about him? Yeah, what about your dad? What about him? I'm sorry. I'm the new guy in town, pal. He's the new guy. He's the male version of Pippi Longstocking. Imagine me at a fucking village in the Philippines.
Starting point is 00:54:51 You be king. They'd be scared. Oh yeah, all the girls would. Let's do it. No. No, no, no, no. Come on, let's rip apart our lives. No, no, no, no.
Starting point is 00:55:01 There's no golf courses. How many redheaded people do you see in the Philippines? I've never seen me. Wow. Wow. That's me. Yeah. With my wife.
Starting point is 00:55:09 That could be. White guy enjoys holidays. You and honey. It's in a tent somewhere. Are there black people in the Philippines? Yeah. Yeah. Like, our native people.
Starting point is 00:55:21 What do you mean? You're native people. You're saying people native of the Philippines. Yeah. They're like... So there's like a Detroit in the Philippines. This gentleman. It's the indigenous people.
Starting point is 00:55:33 Oh, is, oh, she does look black. There's Negritos. Okay. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What? Little black person. Yeah. Well, that's for Spanish, it would be.
Starting point is 00:55:44 Yeah. Wait a minute. The name is Negrito. Yes. Interesting. Interesting. Yeah, yeah. Wikipedia is.
Starting point is 00:55:52 It says, zoom in up top. Yeah, yeah. You say it then because you're Spanish. Read the whole thing. He's got to say it. Thanks. It takes it off of me, yeah. The word negrito.
Starting point is 00:56:04 Yeah, beautiful. Spanish diminutive of negro. See, Negro. Yeah, yeah, very good. Keep going. Keep going. It's used to mean little black person. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:56:14 Yikes. So a lot of, yeah, Doc Willis is out there. Yeah. So you do have indigenous black people that live in the Philippines. Are you friends with any of the indigenous people grown up? No, why not? Why not? They live in other islands.
Starting point is 00:56:27 They live in the other islands. Right. South Central. South West. Southwest, yeah. Yeah, Southeast. Yeah, Southeast Central. Yeah, Southeast Central.
Starting point is 00:56:36 Yeah, Southeast Central. Yeah, South East Central. Yeah. Yeah. Do they have gangs? Gang, oh. There's no like, you know, they? It's a good tribe.
Starting point is 00:56:48 All right. We do have gangs, though. Okay, what are the gang names in the Philippines? Do you have gang names? Flip-flop boys. The flip-flop boys. They're flip-up boys. They're up to no good.
Starting point is 00:57:03 Yeah, they're up to no good. The flip-lop boys are bad boys. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What are the name of the gangs? Yeah. Siegway, Siegway, Sputnik. Yeah, that's insane. One of the largest and most well-known syndicates in the country.
Starting point is 00:57:16 Oh, my God. Balana gang. Bahalana. Bahalana. I'm a part of the Waree Wari gang. I don't know if you know that. What's Baha'u'llah mean? Wari Wari Wari, Wari.
Starting point is 00:57:26 It's like a specific group. Wari Rori. Wari, Wari, Wari. Wari, Wari, Wari, Wari, Worry, Worry, Worry, Worry, Worry, Worry. We're going to get in trouble with the Wari Wari, gang, pal. Just a note, Worry, Worry gang.
Starting point is 00:57:49 We're just joking. We're just joking. You don't want to fuck with that guy. Is that a warrior warrior a game member? I hope not. What? A Bahalana. No, we like them.
Starting point is 00:57:56 Yeah, we like them. Yeah, we like that. We're good with all of them. Yeah, we're good with all. Let's go. Kurotong. Kuratong, belikeng. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:58:05 Did you like that? Did I sound close? Yeah. Rotong sang leit. Yeah. Go back. Go back to the names. Go back to the name.
Starting point is 00:58:12 All right. The last one is. Kutong. Belikeng. Yeah. Balening. Vigalaleng. Vigelelang.
Starting point is 00:58:18 Vigilanti group in the 80s. Oh, they're gone. Do you guys have a fat? What's wrong? Nothing. I'm listening. Do you know any gang members in the Philippines? No, but I remember in the village that we used to live.
Starting point is 00:58:31 Yes. There was this a group of guys and say, oh, we're like, we're gang members. So you have to do the, what is it? The initial. Let me guess. Let me guess. What's the initiation of the gang? Oh, what's the initiation?
Starting point is 00:58:48 You have to. No, we will go. go to the forest. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down. Okay. Okay. What's going on? What's going in the forest?
Starting point is 00:58:55 Is that where the negritos are? It sounds scary. We go to the negretto forest. What's going on in there? Yeah, what's going out of there? What are you doing in the forest? Yeah, what are you doing in the forest? Yeah, what are you doing the forest?
Starting point is 00:59:17 Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait. Oh, you used to eat a dead frog. Oh, you used to eat a dead frog. That doesn't sound that bad of an initiation. Yeah. Are they psychedelic frogs? And then after you get a spanking. They spank you?
Starting point is 00:59:31 They spank you? With a paddle? No, I said no to the spanking Yeah, yeah. Oh, you can say no to the gang. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll eat the frog, no spanking. You can just say no to a gang.
Starting point is 00:59:45 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sopranos? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tony's like, you gonna pay us what you owe. The guy's like, I don't want to. They're like, okay, what can we do? Yeah, what can we do? So you said, but do you eat the
Starting point is 00:59:54 frog? I just like licked it. Oh you looked is it psychedelic? No it must be psychedalic. It's got a gross just like a nasty pond how do you eat fine like dead frog oh it's a dead frog have you done that no no so wait that's when you say initiation that means you'd be in the gang once you did it so did you get in the gang then you got to let him spank you to get in the gang it's not a real game yeah I think it's a fake to gang they were like oh like we're real we're real like we're bloods there's bloods out there. Is that what you're saying there's certainly not They're certainly not. That's what they said.
Starting point is 01:00:26 Yeah, yeah. They were lying just as spanky. Yeah. We had the frog bloods. Yeah. Yeah. They are active blood gang members in the operating sets in the Philippines. Well, we're wrong.
Starting point is 01:00:35 Okay. Yeah, we're learning. Yeah. Oh, in Cebu. In Cebu. In Cebu, wow, the true brown style. The name of the X. True Brown style.
Starting point is 01:00:46 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow. True brown style. Yeah. So have you run into True. TBS? And we should say something to the gangs. Philippines. We love you guys.
Starting point is 01:00:56 We're in the middle. We are big fans. We're corrupt cops. Yeah, we're correct. Like, if we were copped, we would do dealings with it. We'd let you go. Yeah. Bobby, be careful. We don't want these guys to get mad at us. Well, I've been to Subu many times. You know, I've never run into a TBS.
Starting point is 01:01:09 I haven't been spanked years. You're in the bougie parts of Shibu. That's right, girl. Say it, girl. Wait, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Well, he went to Marigondon. I went to Marigandon, okay? I went for a swim. I went to a swim.
Starting point is 01:01:24 in our Mar-a-Gondon? Many gun-down? Is that what it's called? Yeah. So, Mar-I-Gondon, I went, and what did I do in Mar-I-Gondon? Tell them. You recorded the podcast.
Starting point is 01:01:32 No. What about the goat and the feeding the children? That's not Mar-Gondon- What is that? That's another area. Oh, but you're not going to give me props for that. You fed goats to children?
Starting point is 01:01:43 No, no, no, no. I bought a bunch of spaghetti. Yeah, spaghetti. Oh, yeah. What? Like spaghetti noodles? Hey, fucking spaghetti. Oh, there is.
Starting point is 01:01:52 Yeah, that kind of spaghetti. Yeah. And I bought a bunch of spaghetti. spaghetti and there was also bread and a little salad and went to a village, right? Everyone was naked. Okay.
Starting point is 01:02:03 Coming out of the village, you know what I mean? A little bit. There was a goat tied to a right? There's always a goat tied up. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Always. I just said it again, this is a five.
Starting point is 01:02:14 Yeah. And I, we had a truck, a van. Yeah. And I fed the villagers boxes of spaghetti. Yeah. Yeah. And that story's in the memoir
Starting point is 01:02:26 He was signing yesterday That's in the book Is that the author Bobby Lee Feeding a spaghetti? You just gave out Well I want to try Hard spaghetti No, it's already cooked
Starting point is 01:02:40 Yeah Cooked spaghetti I didn't give dry noodles like hey You have boiling water Wait you got to make your own pasta sauce Cooked spaghetti You told this story really bad Like he gave meal kids to be
Starting point is 01:02:50 Yeah meal kits yeah I wish it was the other way Just handfuls into their hands Spaghetti Spaghetti And they seemed to be very happy about it You did charity Yeah, a little bit
Starting point is 01:03:01 And then I did my talent show out there Which is fun Yeah so I've done some stuff over there I never ran it in any TBS or And you never want to You never want to We respect and love the TBS Do you have motorcycle gangs?
Starting point is 01:03:13 No Do people have motorcycles out there? Yeah, it's all motorcycles It's all motorcats No those are mopeds I mean motorcycles Yeah I think so What's a difference between
Starting point is 01:03:22 a moped and a motorcycle. A lot of CCs. It's a much bigger engine. Well, because of the conflict that we're in right now, I mean, Philippines was the hardest hit, really, in the beginning of this conflict, in terms of gas and all that kind of stuff.
Starting point is 01:03:34 What should we do about it? Can we do something? What are we supposed to do? There's nothing we can do. Other than house Filipinos. Yeah, that's what I do. You do what I do? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:03:41 Spaghetti and everything. Spaghetti. Yeah, yeah. How some... Three week old meat. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:03:47 Black pools. Black pools? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I do everything I can. Negrito pools. Yeah. Give me what's going on in your lives. Rudy, what are you doing?
Starting point is 01:03:58 Babysharing. That's all you're doing all the time. That's your full-time job now. American dream. Yeah. We went camping. Oh, yeah. Where?
Starting point is 01:04:07 We tried to invite it to Bobby. No, no, you never invited me. What are you guys? Joshua tree or something? Leo Corrio. Leo Corrio. You bought a tent? That sounds like home, huh?
Starting point is 01:04:14 Yeah. When we went, we went camping up Lake Kachuma. Oh, I love Lake Kuchuma. And the fucking dog, I was like, Oh, wow, she can, she's like restricted. She doesn't have to, we don't have to worry about leash or anything. Why? There's, it's like fenced off where we were.
Starting point is 01:04:29 Yeah. And I'm thinking, oh, this is great. She jumps into a, like a briar patch and has burrs all over. I spent like three hours picking out shit out of her fucking firm. I felt so bad, dude. It sucked. And then I was bummed because we didn't get the tent set up. And I was like, this is, we should just go.
Starting point is 01:04:45 Oh, my God. You must snap. I did. I was, I told you about my cousin, Andy and I, what my parents did. Huh. Oh, we equal camping. as what my dad said. My cousin Andy and
Starting point is 01:04:56 you know what I mean and also Andy's father and my uncle. Yeah. And so we set up a tent, right? We went to sleep and when we woke up they were not there.
Starting point is 01:05:06 Andy and his dad? My dad and my uncle were not there. They went to a hotel. That sounds right. Yeah, yeah. And they drove back and they would sleep good.
Starting point is 01:05:17 They were like, you left us here? Yeah. You would do that. It's camping. You got to learn. That's what camping is. I know, but I'm 12.
Starting point is 01:05:25 You got to survive. Okay, okay. You got to survive. All right. But let's go back to camping. I will never camp ever. Why not, though? I don't like it.
Starting point is 01:05:35 I don't like it. I like fishing and I like all that other stuff around it, but I don't want to sleep there. I'll go sleep somewhere else. Yeah. Because we have buildings now. Yeah. Buildings are great.
Starting point is 01:05:46 Also, the ground is very uncomfortable. I don't care how comfortable you are. You have a bed, though, like a padding thing. Oh, would? You guys do glamping. No. You don't have padding when you do that. Yeah, you could do like an insert into a sleeping bag, but it's not, that's not much.
Starting point is 01:06:01 We did not do glamping. No, you did sleeping bag with an insert so it's more padded. Oh. Not on a cot. No. Yeah, but the ground's not that comfortable. But you didn't sleep well because when you came home, you slept all day. So what happened?
Starting point is 01:06:15 Because I couldn't sleep because I thought we would just die. That's exactly right. True. You don't camp. Did you guys cook? Did you guys do grilling and stuff? Did you hear scary things outside of the tent? There was a guy screaming at his wife.
Starting point is 01:06:27 Like at 4 a.m. All right, what was he saying? What was he saying? First of all, I wasn't yelling at her. I was talking to her. He was screaming at his wife. Yeah, he was like, you're stupid bitch. Fucking dumb ass.
Starting point is 01:06:40 Like, why are you doing that? Whoa. Now that is scary. Yeah. What's going to happen? Yeah. He's screaming at her at 4 in the morning. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:06:49 Did anybody say shut up? No. How far away were the campsites from each of? other. Oh, pretty close. Oh, yeah. See, that's not also not camping. That's not camping either. You got to be way out. You got to be way out. Yeah. You got to hike. You got to do. You didn't have like a pepper spray. I didn't have a knife. So.
Starting point is 01:07:03 You have to go. You didn't have a knife. Strange. You have to do what Ivanka and Jared did. They went to that island. All right. Took their shoes. Went swimming. Yeah. They swam to an island. That's right. Barefoot. That's right. They hiked up top of the mountain. And then they bought it. They bought it. All right. That's a real. That's a lot. That's a real camping. That's real camping. And that's what you guys go to Albania. Buy a mountain. Yeah, that's a real, yeah, that's real camping.
Starting point is 01:07:28 So, how did you know? And they build a resort. You did, did you build a fire pit? No. You didn't build a fire pit and you didn't grill or anything. There was no like. There was no like. What did you do for food? We, sandwiches and mustard. You brought sandwiches and mustard? Yeah. What do you mean? What kind of sandwiches? It was just, um, just bread. Just bread, lettuce, ham, cheese.
Starting point is 01:07:52 and mustard. Yeah, prison food. I like a ham and cheese. We're just making it in the dark. Yeah. That sounds like the worst time ever. You didn't have a flashlight? No.
Starting point is 01:08:04 Our phones, but then that was there. And then we didn't have data. So at 10 a.m., we were just like, what are we going to do? Yeah, exactly. What, you know. It's like those cave people that go, what do they plunge it?
Starting point is 01:08:17 What do they call them? Spalunk. Balunking. Yeah. And they get stuck in a crack like this, right? And they get stuck and they're like, I think I'm going to die, right? But it's like, you chose to be there. You still.
Starting point is 01:08:30 You splunked. You did this. You spalunked. You know, I've never been in a cave stuck in a crack. Never. Have you ever been it? I'm thinking about it. I don't, I'm...
Starting point is 01:08:39 What about that one dude, that movie with his... 127 hours. What? 127 hours. Yeah, yeah, and he had to cut his own arm off. I've just never been in that situation before. Never. Do you know why? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:08:48 I don't go out there. You don't do that. Yeah. When people are coming back, like, you know what I mean? What happened to your arm? Shark attack. Well, that's never, will happen to me. Well, you do go in the ocean.
Starting point is 01:08:58 I know, but Tiger sharks, yes. Yeah, but in South Africa, no. Not going to go to South Africa? Well, I've been in there. Oh, then I grito shark. Oh, shit. You're fogged up again, huh? Big fog guy.
Starting point is 01:09:22 You know what's a good episode, if he's fogging. Yeah, yeah. Oh my God. So no camping anymore. No more camping. All right, never again. Never.
Starting point is 01:09:31 Okay. I think it's a good idea. I think that's a really good idea. You don't need to camp. You don't need a camp. You're comfortable where you are. You're living in his house. Living a good life.
Starting point is 01:09:39 Yeah. Oh, I'll tell you what I was going to see and I'm glad I bailed. I bailed on scary movie. My buddy told me he was like, it didn't, it didn't do it, which sucks is I fucking loved the first ones. I can do it. But the original was so. funny. You know why it was a moment in time. Yeah. I think it was just a great moment in time.
Starting point is 01:09:59 Oh, wow. Wow, wow, wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. More money, money, money, money. I'll say this. This might be the last time that we see you. Probably year, year and a half. Yeah, we'll miss you. Yeah. And go have fun back at home. You'll be back. Yeah. It's funny. She's like, I can't wait to go home. Yeah. You miss the Philippines like crazy. Whoa. And I can meet my friends and this and then. And then. I know. I know. I know. attitude to Tito Bobby a lot. Yeah. I can feel that. She's been doing an attitude to you.
Starting point is 01:10:28 Your attitudes, I mean, why, why, though? No, because like the last time he was like, I want a date and he was like, I want to meet this guy. I'm going to, I'm going to go to his profile. I'm going to message him. I'm like, what? And we're going to miss you. We are going to miss you.
Starting point is 01:10:43 And I also believe that you're going to miss being here. Yeah. That part I don't believe. I don't know. I think you'll miss some parts of the States. You'll miss Rudy. Yeah. You'll miss.
Starting point is 01:10:54 She prefers to be in the Philippines. Yeah. She prefers it. Do you want to go back? Yeah, you want to stay here. Yeah. You're an American. You are.
Starting point is 01:11:03 Yeah. Yeah. But I mean, good luck. Yeah, good luck. We hope you come back. We'll hope you come back. Yeah. Say thank you for being a bad friend.
Starting point is 01:11:13 Salamat. Salamat. Thank you. Masamangueing, Masamangue, great.

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