Bad Friends - Dangerous DMs

Episode Date: August 22, 2022

Thank you to our Sponsors: https://babbel.com/BADFRIENDS & https://betterhelp.com/badfriends & Head to https://www.viator.com to check out their latest website! Offering over 300K+ experiences you’ll remember and use code: viator10 & Trojan™ BareSkin™ Raw™ YouTube Subscribe: http://bit.ly/BadFriendsYouTube Audio Subscribe: https://apple.co/31Jsvr2 0:00 Juicy's First . . .  4:30 Bobby Lee's New Nickname 9:45 Andrew Santino's Doctor Report 15:35 Kanye Watches on Silent 20:30 Worst Car Crashes 25:10 Our Road Rage Stories 30:35 Would You Go To Mars or the Diamond Planet? 36:40 Ryan Garcia Doesn't Need To Be Funny 42:00 Why Andrew Won't Skydive & Reaction Video 48:05 Dying Onstage & Comedy Store Hauntings 54:05 Juicy Grew Up Wiccan 1:14:01 Bobby Gets His Tests Back More Bobby Lee TigerBelly: https://www.youtube.com/tigerbelly Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bobbyleelive Twitter: https://twitter.com/bobbyleelive Tickets: https://bobbyleelive.com More Andrew Santino Whiskey Ginger: https://www.youtube.com/andrewsantinowhiskeyginger Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino Twitter: https://Twitter.com/cheetosantino Tickets: http://www.andrewsantino.com More Rudy Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/badfriendrudy More Bad Friends iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-friends/id1496265971 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/badfriendspod/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/badfriends_pod Official Website: http://badfriendspod.com/ Opening Credits and Branding: https://www.instagram.com/joseph_faria & https://www.instagram.com/jenna_sunday Credit Sequence Music: http://bit.ly/RocomMusic // https://www.instagram.com/rocom Character Design: https://www.instagram.com/jeffreymyles Bad Friends Mosaic Sign: https://www.instagram.com/tedmunzmosaicart Produced by: George Kimmel & Bryce Hallock - 7EQUIS Podcast Producers: Andrés Rosende & Pete Forthun #bobbylee #andrewsantino #badfriends Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots? Woo! Why, dude? I'm an Asian dude. You two are disgusting. Woo! You two are something.

We're bad friends. Am I still on camera if I go all the way this way? Two different friends. Staying a little more. It just was. You can't get. No, I didn't. I didn't have it.

And then I took that. And then this morning, you know how they come over. You want to talk into the mic so we can start the show? I don't know where. And then this morning, they had a, you know, how they come over. You had a PCR person come over to the house. Yeah. What did they say?

She goes, knock, knock, knock. Right. And I go, get out of here. Right. They go, no, we're the nurse for the, I go, okay, come on in. You know what I mean? So you do think it's COVID? No.

I don't think it is. It's like all of the symptoms. Yeah. I don't think it is. By the way, who's that coming from the left field? That's juicy. Juicy. That's juicy.

And you know what? We're going to say, I know we've gone back and forth over being able to say juicy or not. I mean, you can say it. I know, but I, it's just so fun to say juice. It's so fun to say juices. Yeah. I mean, it's juke juke. But it's, it's, it's a little too sexual though.

No, we said that, but it's not. It's, if you make it that way. Yes. Look at how many great, uh, juice. The movie was amazing. Look at, uh, type in famous people named dry girl. The opposite. Drag girl.

Really? Yeah. Drag girl. Yeah. Oh yeah. All right. Dry dame. I was debating bringing this up because I don't want to invite more of this into my DMs.

But at age 32, I received my fist dick pic. Oh. Alright, let's go over the first dick pic. This is the first dick pic you've ever gotten? Yeah. Oh, wow. This week? Yeah.

I'm sure it's from somebody, someone here. One of our crew members? No, no, no. It's Carlos. In the bad friends universe. Oh yeah, yeah. Oh, a bad friends fan. Yeah.

Well, I love the bad friends. It's like, it's like the Marvel universe with no powers, right? I'll send you my dick dick dick dick dick dick dick dick. Wait, Jetski, yeah, I just can't do it. I'm gonna say juicy until you can come up with something that you would rather you know me how about just juice but juice sounds dope just yeah nobody here but listen seriously yeah on this is your first DP yeah well I don't know you should call it that I will your first dick pic by the way I've gotten a thousand you've gotten some good ones never got a dick pic what not one dick pic well

somebody's more popular with the gay community yeah yeah most of us I get so many dick pics you know what's so funny I get so many dick pics I was with Kim condon and yeah I save them and wine shank you know kongden and wine shank of course I do right and I was we're talking about the hotmail comics and you were in the group and I it I was like you know me it was fireflight for me they go jazzle neck I go that makes sense they go you know me a couple of other guys I got canceled okay that's fine right then they go Santino and I went I froze like this I think that's how I got COVID from freezing freezing from freezing yeah Eric Andre this is a list of names of what sexy funny hotmail comedians from 2017

yeah two little marons on it yeah well because we know that's not true yeah yeah all right so so I was on the list thank you that's great I'm glad I was on the list were you on the list oh ice cold yeah I'm never on the any list yeah but I I'm not hot but I am handsome so I know they said hot yeah yeah that's nice well can I tell you something what now that you're single I bet you're gonna sneak into that list no yeah you're gonna get hotter I think you're going to get hotter you've been in a relationship for too long now you're gonna get hotter now that you're single yeah but I do it like you already did exude something the other night I told you you look really sexy the other night yeah coming from you

doesn't feel good though why because I'm the most honest person of all these fucking people these girls that say you're so funny and sexy Bobby just because they like your talent they don't know the real you I know the real you I'm in love with you want to do go I'm in love with you you seem sexy to me tonight it just doesn't read as well sure from a random but not one of your best friends of all fucking time say it again you look really sexy today thank you yes see you see you bought it a little bit there thank you a little bit there all right let's talk let's talk about juices the dick pics I do have an idea for Bobby really quick though yeah what if we gave him a sexy nickname ooh like saucy ooh saucy Bobby well

I mean oh here comes saucy yeah saucy I don't like it okay how about here comes uh ooh here comes noodles oh I love noodles you're getting closer yeah like how about pungent noodles little punch in here comes flavor to it oh here comes pork shumai yeah pork shumai yeah it's Chinese I'm Korean are you serious you didn't know that when have you been all these years imagine if I did think you were Chinese listen you are sexy we will get you a good nickname well I let me say this so defend myself you know what do you mean no one's nothing to defend I have to defend my honor he loves defending something that isn't defensible yeah I'm definitely my honor right now okay I'm on the hill I'm wearing the samurai outfit

I have my sword you're over the hill you're 51 I know but there's dead bodies around me it's in my right this is what I'm doing okay okay so I'm defending myself right to the end and I want to say something it's been kind of cool okay there's been signs not that I have done anything but there's been signs that papa may be back maybe the phoenix has been reborn do you want to tell the fans no no nothing nothing Bobby got his groove back it's just you know what people say what people say dick pic so vroom vroom jet ski I know how hard that is for you it's just so stupid I hate jet ski at this point just listen jet ski socks jet ski socks juicy we gave you juicy we blessed you with that better name

I'm grateful you guys don't know how powerful you are in one episode you've changed my name yeah that's right we did shift it yeah shift it her name alright so tell us about the deep the dick pic juice I want to know bad was a good dick pic was a good dick they're never good no it was alarming I went into my other messages and it said you know the image you have to top on it to see it yeah and at 32 years old of not seeing a dick pic I didn't even think it was a possibility yeah let's see what this is yeah what did you think the image might be I don't know a funny meme a funny meme funny meme now if there was a picture of a dick in a funny meme would that be acceptable that would have I would have liked that a little

bit more sure but I don't want any alright yeah no don't please don't send her if you're going to send anybody a dick pic send it to Bob he doesn't get any please send him a dick pic now that he's single please send him dick pics Bobby the live it's a I don't think they would yeah they yeah they will now now yeah I am imploring every one of our fans to send Bobby Lee a dick pic let's count next week how many you get okay can I say this though and it doesn't have to be hard by the way if you're embarrassed in your camera shy send him a softy I want softics send him so okay only so good yeah only soft and if they're tucked if you're willing to talk yeah yeah he loves a tuck a lot of pubes what kind of

dick it would be your preference Hamptons all right let's see this dick pic from this guy I just feel like it's it's a nice size dick yeah I'll be the judge and he and he just wrote I love you I'll I'll why I'll be the judge but the but the angle of this is like it's it's like the fucking Empire State Building let me see I mean it's so so head heavy he's so big dick can I tell you something I think that's the angle it's in portrait mode for sure that's a good dick dude I think it's photoshopped can I say something you do right you think it's photoshopped even though the dick's good he's poor yeah you saw his room yeah I closed it so fast yeah yeah so when you see his room you go he's poor so you can't

fuck it let me see yeah I mean it was like a chicken wing on the bed like a fuck you man yeah in the background in the background there's yeah the closet doors are off the thing yeah he doesn't have a fold yeah he's got it he's it's all it's it's a mess like an ID went off on that also if you're gonna send a dick pic do it so I can't see the rest of your room I don't do you know what I mean or like I have certain size though like you know I have certain places in my house where I only do all my zooms yeah right because I I know where the best places in my house are right on zoom right right so this is a cool wallpaper great photos it looks rich of course you know I mean but this dude don't give a fuck he doesn't give

no and if that's that's probably the best place he could do it and if that's his best place how to take the perfect dick that's the guy from the dick pic yeah but you have to be I know your boyfriend I don't want to say his name but you want me to say his name but I know your boyfriend very funny guy saw us at the other night oh cool what you don't like it that was awesome by the way what sorry I'm tangenting but I hosted potluck for the first time and Bobby was in the back of the room and I was like Bobby wear my glasses and when you go up and I saw the next time you pretended to be to be it was fun it was really special yeah the impression was okay it leaves me a little bit of work but it was

good what you thought it was awesome it was super exaggerated because yeah because you know she's up you know right and I'm wearing her glasses but I'm like she I don't I want them to know that I'm trying to do her so I went the other way I got it get it you bring on Hugo galaxy Hugo galaxy yeah what a fucking name one of the newest I had to show my dick to a doctor yesterday why did you show went to the urologist I showed him some of a picture of a I put a picture of a penis over my own penis why went to the urologist you get my balls checked out see if everything is all good are they see how my swimmers are are they good 98 million 98 million sperm seems like a lot is that good yeah he said it was a good

number 98 millions a lot my giz count was high that's a lot he said he's when they tested my giz a normal sperm range of 15 million to more than 200 million whoa I was 98 million he said yeah I'm 15 million that sounds low what does that say 39 million per ejaculate is considered low right I was four times three times that yeah I wouldn't want to test your sperm no it'll probably go 150 150 million no 150 flat yeah flat and that was the case I would just feel like you know I'm doing something wrong it's so weird giving sperm dude it's just so uncomfortable it's the worst you walk in these clinics there it's like well lit with fucking fluorescent lights and she they're always mean by the way these women that work

in these places they're always mean because they're the attractive so it's hard to get started yeah it's a long time they should make the girls attractive that's what I know there's got to be I'm sure that's gotta be I bet you in Beverly Hills there's a high end place where they're hot and they sit in the room and watch a jerk off yeah we go to high they reverse Louis CKU yeah honestly they walk you to this room they turn on a little a little noise a little white noise machine yeah which I didn't like I turned it off what does that do huh what does that do white noise they want it so they can't hear you yeah yeah but the rooms are barred off there it's like in a room in a room in a room in a room you're like

so far from anybody hearing you are there windows yeah and there's no blinds no there's no fucking windows make sure just to make sure my hand just on the window overlooking will you have one of those like FBI like interrogation one way one way who knows I'm just watching people like coffee being like no what I would do is I would look at the room and go is there any cameras yeah there's that'll fuck me up mentally right there's there is cameras oh if there was even like you look at our ceiling see those little gaps those are cameras I would have to get up into those fucking crevices there's cameras I'm about to blow your mind right now yeah these are all cameras oh that's a camera that's a camera that's a camera that's

fun are all cameras wow you're on plunked you're on plunked it's a new version of all right no so I had to go in this room they have a TV in there with a TV stand with DVDs for porno can you bring your own you bring your I brought my phone can you bring your iPad see I thought about bringing an iPad but I thought that's way too much yeah it seems like a lot because they're they already know you're jerking off in there which is already embarrassing there's no way I could do it with their catalog no no an iPhone my iPhone you know I thought you said that I had to do their no no you're going through like no plus I had seen all the ones that they had had urban chicks 1998 you know Bangkok pussy

you know me I can't you know I'm like going through the fucking fire like none of this urban chicks 1998 no it's it's you bring your phone in there but I did think about bringing an iPad and I thought it's already a weird embarrassing thing they know you're going to jerk off and you're like an iPad just seems gratuitous I would have to bring my suction machine you the suck 9000 or whatever it's called I have one I know that yeah that's the only way I can do it now you you can't just regular because it has two great options yeah right it has didn't we buy it for you we bought it I bought a new brand new one you bought another yeah I spent top dollar yeah the automatic suck right right it has sucking

and vibration right whoa you can do combination and then you do release you can release the air right so it's just like you're there right it hurts kind of it sucks it I don't think it's supposed to hurt bud I make it hurt yeah I think you like you put it on her I think it was a little pain yeah yeah and I do the release right yeah so could I bring that machine in sure yeah yeah you can't I mean there's no rules but I just felt like I had to bring in my phone and it with that I couldn't I wanted to bring my iPad because my iPad has a stand my phone I have to hold right yeah and also I put it on the counter I tried but it fell so I just it was it's it's uncomfortable already they put stuff all over these chairs

and they dim the light and it stinks of course I brought headphones because why what do you mean you bring headphones why you listen to music yeah I'm listening to fucking radio head oh you want to listen to the yeah I want to hear the I don't ever listen what yeah are you a serial killer watch porn on silent yeah that's disgusting it's not he does his own soundtrack no because well and here's where you'd go the reason why I do is because jewels is in the next room we'll put on headphones yeah but then I have the machine it's it's a whole thing well so she hears whoop whoop whoop you must hear that yeah yeah she's like he vacuumed it so much hey what does that say that Kanye watches porn on silent

he refuses Kanye refuses to listen to porn yeah I think that's a thing I've never watched porn with the sound on yeah I think that's a thing yeah he's a he's a fucking loose goose upstairs then I am a loosey goose we know that you share yeah yeah it's uncomfortable too because you have to fill out a sheet of paper that says what what did it say I live with my mom in high school then I live with my mother-in-law Kris Jenner's house the kids next door and stuff what if this is such a sad he's such a sad reality your house is his house is 50,000 square feet find a wing to jerk off it or jerk off in the bathroom anyway does your boy do you ever catch your boyfriend jerking off never so he doesn't jerk off I've

never caught him what do you mean he's jerking off right now while she's here oh that's right he's like I love that you have that job yeah go do that podcast but does he is at work right now which doesn't mean he's not jerking off yeah that's what do you think everybody is he one of those guys that's like I don't ever jerk off you know you heard these guys yeah which is insane no I've asked him before cuz I've never seen him do it and then what do you say he's like yeah of course he does you you jerk off yeah yeah it's like I'm 32 I get it yeah yeah oh do you have machines and toys yeah I'm 32 yeah does he have machines and toys not that I know of no you would know by now you would know because guys machines

are so big they're so big they're cumbersome they're so hard to hide you can go it's a humidifier imagine it look like other thing turning that on at night like it's a loudest humidifier like it should look like a lava lamp that's a lava lamp I'm from the 70s and by the way the lava flowing around your penis oh that'd be cool so cool your dick is up there and the fucking I'm on the planet Pandora you know what I mean that'd be great it's uncomfortable to come in a cup it's impossible to come in a cup and you have to come in a cup and you have to write on the cup and you have to write did everything get in and what the time that you jerked off oh my god and then when you're done you put it in a little

booth and then they make you sit there it's so it's like almost like punishment they like me do you leave the room then you sit outside of the room and wait for them to say it's okay to go is there what do you mean you stick it through a door and then they pick it up yeah like a little window yeah like even yeah exactly like if you're pissed in a cup for a piss test yeah yeah maybe put it in a little door yeah same thing and then they make you sit there like a weirdo while you sit it you see another guy like hey like it's weird to see another guy who also just jerked off you know what I do I shift through the fucking hazard trash bin you touch the hazard trash I have to know it's in there you that's probably

why you're sick when it's red like a red bag and it has a hazard thing I open it up like it's a Christmas gift needles in there yeah and I just go through it you know I mean that's the one let's get one about let's get Bobby one of those because you see interesting stuff in there yeah needles blood yeah stuff like that yeah you know what you use Babel when you went to Italy see and you really had a good time used it Babel's a language learning app that sold more than 10 million subscriptions thanks to Babel's addictively fun and easy bite-sized language lessons there's still time to learn a new language before you reach your destination easy to learn because Babel's a language learning app and it's 10 minutes

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sponsor better help better help I just got a message from somebody on Facebook and they said you they went on better help because of our ad I love that and they said that she's a DJ and she goes it changed my life honestly here's the deal we're big proponents of mental health awareness on this show that is truthful we love to make jokes and mess around but we also Bob and I both take care of our brains we speak to people I think it's helpful no matter who you are where you're from what you do I think if you take care of your brain the way you take care of everything else in your life you'll find that it is very rewarding now you might ask what is better help it is online therapy that offers video phone and

even live chat only therapy sessions so you don't have to see anyone in camera if you don't want to and it's more affordable that in person therapy you can be matched with the therapist in under 48 hours here's the reason that I think that I love it so much genuinely I like doing it from the comfort of my own home I don't want to get in my car and I don't want to drive anywhere and sit in an office and be uncomfortable better help is amazing they've done a great job so far so why not check them out our listeners are going to get 10% off their first month at better help dot com slash bad friends that's better HELP dot com slash bad friends speaking of speaking of blood or something negative

like that I know what you're going to say huh the prayers Lawson car accident oh my god that you're gonna bring up it's it's heartbreak do you know about this this woman was going like a 110 through blood through lawson lawson this video it's right it's so brutal can you want to show it or no so what happened was juice this girl's going 110 drunk drunk yeah well totally fucked up yeah and goes through not only just an intersection but smashes into like a bunch of different cars and people and then almost it's a gas station could have been watch watch it look at us watch how fast this girl comes flying through here oh six people died instantaneously a pregnant woman a couple with their baby look at right now

watch this again here it comes I mean the sheer speed oh my god oh my god and that's a gas station and she's can you believe that didn't light anything on fire at the gas station yeah by the way bad plug for united oil already my least favorite gas yeah and she she survived she lived oh my god right she was on like on the side of the road like what's going on and it's like oh what a disaster why did they always live they always live she's fucked up yeah yeah but I mean they always live you know my grandmother once was like that's that's God's punishing them they have to live with the pain instead of just dying and getting freedom and I was like I think it's just when you're drunk you're more loose and your muscles

don't tense and you're more likely to just flip and roll and not die yeah that's usually what they say but it's like I've been on that road oh my god what do you mean I've been in that intersection it happened so fast your life you're gone instantaneously that's scary yeah I do I do think about how I take for granted how how much we drive in LA and how I don't really think about it I'm never thinking about it I'm never think but honestly LA accidents constantly constantly there's accidents in the city yeah so you never think about it you're just driving along it's like those people those fucking poor people what did I say there what 52,000 car accidents in LA and just in 2015 that's an average of one person killed

in LA by traffic accidents every 40 hours every two days someone gets someone gets gone in LA and that's also 16 or six years ago oh my god updated that's insane can you imagine that shit the shift during COVID how much they fight 150 crashes a day so many yeah I mean it's like you know what does that say 79% Asian why is that why is that on there why would they list that statistic that's not okay what website is that we're not bad drivers we just drive slow I didn't say anything we're not in that Omegle law said that yeah yeah yeah yeah we just drive really slow Omegle law that's what that is that's like one of those law whether one of those law billboards that you see it's like you want to butt fuck

your case in the ass you got a call Mike and Kev it's always too like tough guy look at bros I cannot believe these guys these attorney those attorneys make money those fucking ambulance chaser attorneys yeah they do though no they make a fuckload you guys get road rage I you know what's so funny you've never been in the car with me I used to yeah and then you get out you get so over it now couldn't care less it's all fucked every time I drive I don't even think about it anymore I'm so be a when I first moved here I couldn't comprehend how atrocious people drove here it blew my mind and then years into it you're like I have a solution you want to hear my solution of course yeah all the cars should be interconnected

in terms of talking to each other right autonomous vehicle so every every they're all so we don't drive at all anymore the car no I'm driving no we can talk to each other so I can press the button what are you doing what are you doing what do you mean put on your blinker it's broken well thank you how old are you 12 oh and I call the cops yeah what are the cops gonna do nothing yeah yeah yeah maybe that's all we're busy yeah yeah do you know how many black people we have to just search randomly we're busy no did you you know what talking to people in the car I think that we should all have scrolling LED screens was that mean you know like an LED screen that projects something then you just say something

into it and it would just say like go fuck yourself so if you guy cuts you off you can just put it up and it just is rotating on your car I want one of those these are just augmented ways of road rage though that's right they're right you're right you're right you're right but we're not well I don't have a gun I'm not going up to fucking kill someone but I do want to say to people sometimes fuck you but have you ever done this like like someone cut you out and then you speed up to see what they look like I have to know what they look like you know what they look like Asian what what what do they look like no it's always like a white dude right it's always a white yeah yeah wearing a trucker cap it's

always a white dude in a trucker yeah right and shaved off you know the sleeves are cut off yeah yeah yeah yeah a lot of white trucker a lot of white guys with shades of trucker hats in LA right and you go and you and then if they if they look tougher than you you go Donald Trump Donald Trump cut me off in traffic one time whoa yeah happy he was it was tight though yeah I love him dude I was like lovey dog you know I let him go he was fine he was on a motorcycle so there's this movie my brother recommended to me and he goes it's the same guy that directed X Makina X Makina did you see that great movie right yeah he did a new movie called men right I love that my brother my brothers for two months

I started a theater you gotta watch it you got every fucking day it's a horror film yeah I don't know what it is dude all I know it looks like a fucking if it's a comedy they did they're not advertising well that looks good yeah but let me tell you something dude it's so weird that I couldn't finish it weird is in like like it's not oh it's an 824 again another bad yeah another bank it's so weird I couldn't finish it who's in it can we get back to the cast yeah you don't know anyone that's in it that's cool I like that yeah yeah actually can I be honest with you pretty fucking scary like you did freak out but not in a way where it's like you know you watch a conjuring there's like there's like you

know um what do you call it um jump scares yeah they don't have any of that yeah I hate them when they do that on the internet I mean I was gonna just tell you what's coming in in a baseball flies at the screen you're like don't I just tell you see the first scary scene in it you're not gonna see it well say spoiler alert to the fans spoiler when you do this spoiler alerts spoiler alert right it's called man so she this woman she loses she her husband kills himself right big spoiler by the way in the beginning the movie opens it with it right right how is that a spoiler I'm just saying yeah yeah sometimes the spoilers are a little bit light this is that one's right on it it's like you're giving away a

big piece well I can't explain this next part I kills himself go ahead okay so she decides to go to a small English town and get away she rents a house and you know they don't like you know it's it's very like a rural right she goes on a little hike and then she sees a tunnel right she goes in the tunnel and it's one of those tunnels where you can see the end you see there's a little light right and she goes and then the tunnel goes right is an echo that's right and she kind of echoes and makes a song almost and all of a sudden at the end of the fucking tunnel you see a man just stand up and he's completely naked and he just starts walking towards her right is he hard is he hard no big dick though

yeah and then she's in her she escapes right she runs away she runs away from him and she's like sitting there talking to her friend and the guy is just picking fruit naked you know what I mean in the front of luck what kind of fruit why does what does it matter that's important yeah it makes a difference yeah it does was it like an apple tree oh it was a peach tree peach love a good by the way right yeah if you're gonna be naked and pick something peaches are pretty clutch yeah and then he just comes up the window and stares that are like this still naked yes completely naked and I stopped why that's not that sounds like it's about to get good yeah I don't know what happens after that but it's a way too

much dick for me that's how I felt when I got that big picture yeah that's why I brought it up by the way if you what if he had his cock through a peach would that be funny see that yeah yeah yeah yeah and she runs with a big fucking tunnel holy shit by the way the I got in a YouTube wormhole watching cave up or maybe his tiktok cave people that go through like they go into those like little caves they do cave digging or whatever dude it gave me the worst claustrophobia I'm watching it and I'm freaking out these guys go through the tiniest cave their bodies in the water right no no no no no this is just they'll see a cave in a fucking mountain yeah and they'll start they'll just go into a hole and then

go as far as they can go it's it's caving it's in it's fucking insane there's a guy look at how fucking yeah gross me dude I kept I couldn't stop watching it I was on the shitter what are you gonna find I don't know another dead guy who did the same thing that they did yeah I mean you should I don't know what if that's like that like what do you find there like a gold nugget look up look up father and son caving yeah maybe it was tiktok I think it was youtuber tiktok but these two they go together and it was fucking me up dude I was like like I would do it if they said like no sometimes they find diamonds sure yeah nothing I know I'm just saying if that was the case yeah I might try it they

just love the idea of of going through these little tiny holes and they want to see and they map it out so they'll draw while they're doing it what it's like for other people and they leave like they leave stuff planted so other people know they were there and shit it's insane I couldn't stop watching it when men do that it has something to do with their mother to getting getting away from some or going back into the birth to try to go back maybe yeah so psychological thing because I have no urge to go back inside my mother that was a dank place I got a nerd to go inside that was an awful place a dank isn't good day I like it dark and well I maybe that is a very like maybe that is a calling back to

like wanting to go back to like being in this these weird fetal positions and climbing slow and having to like morph your body through that's the only explanation in my head I guess yeah but some people just like dare devil shit because it's risky as fuck it's risky as fuck you can easily get stuck and die they found a planet in our in our galaxy that the the mountains are made out of diamonds let's go I know that's what I'm saying so what are we fucking doing so I would risk that I could let's try it let's die there yeah yeah yeah I'd rather die there yeah there was some scientist by the way what is that 55 can kree the rocky world knows twice the size of yours as eight times mass it's a super

earth a diamond rich planet yeah let's fucking go I want to go there let's go we don't tell anybody well yeah well we just hold like when you us three go okay all right we don't tell anybody we told a million people let's say Elon Musk let's say Elon Musk goes we can get there I don't know how we're gonna get back I mean I you know I mean but we can get there I think I can help you get there yeah yeah would you go I may I'd have to think about it what because what are we gonna go get all the diamonds and then die there yeah get the diamonds and die that's the point of life yeah I would be like smog from fucking you know what I mean like Mount Doom you know I think it's a great idea but who would get

more diamonds it I wouldn't even count at that point because it's like I'm not gonna go wow he has just two satchels you know I'm gonna compare bags I feel like you would I think I would can you imagine we get all the way there and none of us brought a bag and we're like fuck yeah I thought I thought you had a bag I didn't bring a bag I would I would jam them in my asshole 100% well we would jam you would be my bag full of diamonds yeah you'd be my bag I would do it though but if I had to carry your diamonds through my asshole I get 60% that's fine okay good I don't care cuz I'm doing the lug lugging by the way I'm not doing it for the diamonds I'm doing it just to see putting stuff in your ass that's

all I really want because if we can make it back if we're making it back yeah but can I tell you what me and juice might do what we might kill you and then just take the diamonds from you and then I've always known that about you yeah yeah you do the same to me because like in dark because you do the same to me remember in the dark night because you would do the same to me when they keep killing each other in the beginning when they're robbing the fucking course yeah don't do that well you'd have to make a pact okay you know it would be fun it would be fun to tickle him if we tickled Bobby and the diamonds just kind of fell out with that yeah oh it's gonna take us 40 light years to get there yeah that's

not bad though Bobby doesn't have that much time yeah not that much time I'm 50 we do yeah we're good what about this though let me ask you something yeah so let's let's put something else on the planet what else is up yeah yeah so fuck the diamonds right diamonds are gone yeah what if it was like just all women mm-hmm they're all top 10 women top 10 yeah top 10 on only fans so the top 10 on only yeah yeah yeah they're just like top notch top not right and they don't speak they don't have mouths no no mouths no but everything else looks the same as a human yes okay they have three breasts three tits yeah so no mouth three tits yeah yeah and they um they have a little bit not a full one but a little like

a little unicorn horn coming out sexy pretty hot sexy yeah it's sexy yeah yeah and there's the kind of cross-eyed do why are they cross it why did you because I'll tell you why because they're always looking at the steering at the horn horn right so they're kind of little cross-eyed okay right and just just the perfect vaginas this is perfect right would you take a trip up there with me no I don't I want to have conversations with these women they can oh yeah me too but I would learn I would learn sign language or the way they communicate okay how about this though yeah here's the trick there's got to be there's got to be something bad shallow there's got to be something hey there's got to be something bad one of the

tits if you suck on it will detonate like an IED yeah like a roadside bomb right so they're landmines they're tit mines let's make it different what are the tits has like one of the tits will look cyanide well the tits are like no the tits yeah the tits are like um shishito peppers you know like one of them is going to be hot out of a batch well I won't suck on them then if you touch them at all you say that now yeah you say that now you're gonna want to suck some tits especially if there's three right so it's the first thing it'll be like you'll be like deer hunter you know what I mean it'll be like deer hunter what about well what about for juice for juice there's a planet where there's

a guy who has two dicks one for your butt one for your poos and he also has a dick on his face so it's one for your mouth so he's the three dick guy interested and he's the best joke writer yeah he tells the best joke but like literally everything that comes as much is guaranteed to work on stage it crushes so you can get back on right so you have the two dicks right three dicks three dicks really one for your mouth one for your mouth right and you mean so you're gonna have great factual satisfaction yeah right but you're also gonna come back with an hour a new hour a new hour on material what do you think you know what I like yeah yeah yeah but it's gonna take you 10 years to get there and back you you

know who I kind of had a crush on and I haven't in a long time you guys see this wrestler it was he was out the store he said like King Ryan Ryan Garcia was at the store the other night though do you know that is I think that is that the boxer I think that might be the kid Ryan Garcia is there you're talking about this kid yeah he was at the store oh you like him there was a planet full of these guys yeah oh so that guy he's good looking yeah yeah he's really good looking he was at the store the other night and fucking jacked yeah there's not an ounce of fat on that kid it's all I mean he's not a big person he's a smaller guy but there isn't an ounce of fat on that fucking kid it's not it's insane tight is

atop you've never seen his hands how fast this kid is no I don't want to show a video this fucking kid it's insane he's so fast he doesn't have to be funny he doesn't know can I tell you something you know he's not funny yeah he's too good at something else you can't be you can't be that good at boxing and be very funny and if he's that good looking boxing and funny we would kill him we kill him yeah we kill him it's not gonna work how would you guys kill this guy they shoot him with a gun the old school way like an American look at this kid imagine I want to watch him on YouTube you should he's so fast so good his hands are just so quick oh that's a body shot baby yeah he was so planted those guys

and you're good what if he has no dicks no dicks no dick but it's pussy good yeah and they take 40 light years 10 10 10 10 10 10 5 there 5 back okay then yeah alright I can pack a bag bring some toys if you could go if you really it look if they open it up they already are gonna open up space travel would you go yeah I would go even if they say there is a planet out there that has the same atmosphere as earth right what if it's 5050 risk of coming back that's fine but they say we don't know what's there we don't know if there's humanoids we don't we just know there's vegetation and because there's atmosphere and oxygen all that stuff I might do it would you do it you I think I would I feel you people talked about

this with the planes right but 50% chance of coming back if they gave you if they said half people don't make it well what make it there or when they can make it back don't come back they can't come back but could you die on the planet or just stay there they're not gonna tell you what happens you just have 50% don't get back but they don't die that they don't say that I would have to ask this question likelihood is high that they're gonna die not enough resources can I ask how they died unfortunately we're not we're not allowed to tell you really that's part of our also that I land on the planet and this is fucking 50-foot fucking black dude with a big dick and chasing you and then I get fucked to death

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such as introducing condoms in the relationship and using condoms consistently I really do love Trojan it's my favorite oh it's the best brand what else do you know it's the best one and Trojan bare skin raw is available and major retail is nationwide buy a pack today experience raw baby Trojan bare skin raw as raw as it gets and I've never been skydiving you gotta do it but it's really safe though yeah you gotta do it you've done it no I don't think I'd do it but you gotta do it okay right I wouldn't you do it it's scary it's terrifying I'm not scared of it I just feel like something is gonna go wrong yeah I'm not like afraid of the plane of jumping out I'm like I know I'll be the fucking guy who who they're like

the shoot's fucked up and I'm like what like I know that'll be me because there's two things that happen right there's two shoots there's the main shoot and the emergency shoot correct and they right so the male like if I do the main shoot and it doesn't work the biggest fear is when the second shoot doesn't work that's when it all pops in especially because I just saw that video that came out of that guy there was a video that went oh what does it say the lowest on record 10 fatalities last year 10 people died out of how many jumps 100,000 jumps 10 of 100,000 is is that's enough that's enough to fuck me up yeah it had to be one out of 100,000 no it have to be none none I don't want it to happen it's

like commercial airlines it's like roller coasters has like there's got to be fatalities on roller coaster on roller coasters more in a car which you get in every day I know what do we talk about today no but the difference of roller coasters is roller coasters are running all day every day these 100,000 jumps is not a lot I guarantee you there's about probably 20 million roller coaster rides happening right okay the mount is insane but but also there's that video that guy the skydiver guy it just happened his fucking shoot opened got tangled the emergency shoot got tangled in the tangled shoot and he almost died but it came out at the last second this is a scary episode yeah a little bit of a little

trick-picks and death from from the sky yeah oh my god look at that that'll be me that's the guy no it opens at like the last second this is it yeah oh fuck he's in it he's fucking inside of it oh my god oh my god oh my god and then so that's the red one that's the emergency one that he throws behind it see the red one behind it behind him that's the other one and that ain't open and neither oh my god also to die tangled you're tangled in your diet well I don't think the tangling is that bit much of an issue yeah that's ain't no no I'm saying I'm saying because you can't it's even there boom last second lucky son of a bitch this lucky son of a bit go play the lottery go play the fucking yeah speaking

of which lottery was won by Illinois one of my people do you think he'd do that again he'll probably do it again yeah yeah I watch one of those things about wingsuit guys yeah those fucking psychos yeah they do it all the time their friends die constantly I watch a documentary on Netflix I don't remember the name of it the wingsuit guy one of his friends they were wingsuiting in a canyon of a ski of a ski resort and he missed a gondola by a foot one foot people were inside of it this guy missed a gondola by one fucking foot and when they got down he was like they were shaking and he was like dude I couldn't control myself he's like I almost hit the gondola and if he hit the gondola not only would he

would have died people inside it because it would have exploded yeah yeah yeah my god these wingsuit guys are nuts but they do it they all do it they all fucking do it but what if it's the greatest experience I don't like we don't know I don't know if it's better than I don't know it might be better than sex no no way how do you know there's just no way because maybe like how about would you have something to have with this it can't be better than coming if one person out of every hundred people have sex how about one person every one me one out of every hundred people die when they have sex yeah sex one out of a hundred yeah yeah I'd rather I'd rather die having sex than jump out of an

airplane yeah it's like you know that's that that drug ice it must be like that right it's like ice is meth right yeah it's like one out of every 50 people die no something crazy like that well fucking is my the annual instance of sudden cardiovascular deaths heart attacks such activity so point two out of every hundred thousand men yeah that now would you okay be okay to how about this though yeah if you do die fucking it doesn't happen while you're fucking it happens right when you finish well that's nice see what I mean I'd rather that I'd rather have it yeah what happened right before you finish would be the worst I wouldn't do it there's people that die while they're fucking in the middle of fucking didn't isn't

that there's not like a isn't there like an old rumor that Matthew McConaughey's dad died while he was fucking I think he talked about it one time but it sounds like a thing that he would want to be true anyway yeah yeah yeah die while he was fucking that's why I named my company just keep living dude yeah Matthew McConaughey says his dad died while having sex and they and apparently they rolled him out to the street with us in his cock was still hard when he died imagine the one that was the room the trauma on for the woman yet why is your man John why is your dick cold she might have killed him yeah pussy was so good pussy was so good don't kill my ass can you imagine though fucking dying while

you're fucking well there's that's the way to go see you say that but no it's not what is then they cart you out naked and your your little limp penis Nate I mean that's just weird and you eat the face the front yeah yeah yeah no way your dick hard and and your family gets to the to the fucking mortician and they're like yeah can we see the body and they see it and they're like you didn't fix the face like we can't yeah so the viewing everyone's like go say your go say your buys and yours they're like no that makes me put a spider man fucking shooting jizz web yeah yeah yeah I don't know I don't think I could ever I just I I'm not it's not that I've gotten more risk a versus I've gotten older for stuff

like that yeah I just never have been into it I'm always like why I don't know I don't feel like jumping out of a fucking plane about dying on stage you know I thought about that when I saw what's her name fallen hit her fucking head really hard on that video oh yeah what was her name why can't I think I don't know huh Heather McDonald yeah Heather McDonald she did yeah she smoked her head she passed out from COVID oh yeah I remember that I remember oh yeah yeah I guess when that was happening I had a little moment of yeah I'm okay dying on stage as long as it's like a good stage oh yeah I don't have an open mic yeah I don't have a shitty spot Monday open mic at the store with you hosting with three minutes

there's no way no way so it has to go I just want to die if you died on a cool stage I'd be fine you're like drag me to the main room yeah yeah yeah yeah I meant you're in the belly room and you're like push me down the stairs just blah blah blah blah blah all the way down at least I in the hallway where would you want to die at the store main room on the stage of the main room yeah I'd want to die in the green room right before I go on why to haunt it oh yeah yeah with Gus that place is already haunted yeah yeah yeah so it's like why not be another ghost yeah did it has Gus ever closed the door on you I've seen his face but not as but he's never do you know about this the ghost in the main room I've heard about ghosts

but I haven't heard of Gus what yeah but I main room green room specifically yeah that that to me because I spent a lot of time there with kilt's onion stuff and I feel the most presence because I used to get there first before anybody and just play my trumpet in there and I could like feel people like listening do you know the old okay so you know in the main room green room you know the double doors for the bathroom you know it's like dead like swing doors I'm not kidding Ron punches had left yeah Ron punches had left and I was sitting there on my phone and nobody could have been nobody was in there it's not like he had been in the bathroom we were sitting on the couch together and I'm not kidding yeah like they

already left Ron did is and I was in there alone and I was like the bedroom is dark no this is the main room okay my bad oh you're talking about I know what you're doing nothing I'm just investigating I'm just investigating but I heard those swinging doors swing and it fucking gave me the biggest creeps and I went up there and I looked in there I just gave me the fucking creeps yeah I've been in there multiple times and felt weird fucking shit in there Pete Gray what you don't know the story of Pete Gray no oh my god you know Pete Gray I know the tall whites no yeah see part of them so Pete Gray used to be a doorman there and a phone he did the phones with me back in the day mm-hmm and he performed

in the belly room one night that's him that's Peter Gray that's Jim Carrey yeah that Peter Gray doesn't matter yeah I think that's him I want to hear it yeah and anyway um he he doesn't sit in the belly room and he's walking down from the belly room to the green room now I'm sitting in the green room right and I look away and I look at Pete and he's his spine broke what yeah and he slammed his head on that ceiling on what ceiling in the hallway oh shit right like he had hit it yeah and he said I was levitated up and I hit my stink yeah he had to get surgery and shit and then he got addicted to drugs from the surgeries and he never did comedy again shut the fuck up Pete Gray well let's get him on the show

I don't know where he is I haven't seen him since then he doesn't want to be anywhere near the comedy store I don't know and then I think he sued the store well I think he got he got some money how much I don't know let's guess comedy store yeah three dollars I mean because back then it was back when the comedy store was on the verge of closing it was so close yeah it was so close to closing because there's no customers that um but I remember he got I didn't see it but he did live because you know how high that fucking hallway is yeah and he's not that much taller than I am and he broke his spine whoa tell me some other freaky shit that you saw when you go play the in the trumpet in the main room by yourself

I don't see have you heard the piano I've heard that from multiple people they can hear the piano yeah I've heard from other people the piano I always feel good though I feel like I feel like there's a presence there but it always feels good to me like it feels like happy spirits or happy spirits yeah that's because what you elude it what you exude is happy spirits maybe you get good ghosts no you get bad ghosts say this ghost breaks fine now have you have you ever been in Mitzi's office I used to take people in there all the time when I had a friend in from out of town used to be able to Jerry rig the door and go in there and just because I was I loved how creepy it was if you've never been up there have you

no they locked it years ago you used to be able to get in there and you could see all the shit in her desk was still there they left everything in that office I don't mean I don't know what it looks like now but yeah so you've been in there I used to go all the time I've never been in there I used to break in you used to break in 100% because I would get drunk I would and guess if I had like friends in town I would always take them up there and then tell them creepy fucking stories and they would get so fucking lit up because she used to clean that room every year yeah with a exorcist yeah they would well they would yeah what's that called like a medium it's like a cleansing no they do like a fucking whole it's like a whole ceremony a ritual yeah

yeah to get the spirits out her office was also maybe I'm wrong but her office was also where the mob office was where the back thing was to get the bodies out no right right right because you know it's an old mob yeah that's fucking and that also that's why where I saw this I've talked about the seance I saw mm-hmm yeah yeah the seance I think we should get I think we should get a psychic to come on the show would you get would you be cool with that I love it have you ever done a psychic before yeah yeah card readings or what did you do well I grew up half wicked I don't know if you guys ever knew that my dad's wicked we got to go we got to go we got to get out of here like the fuck that's like a movie she isn't there a wick and I've done the card

wait so your dad was a wick and yeah my dad and stepmom are wicking my my grandma super christian I am my aunt's catholic I raised you everybody we're doing it right now I guess oh that's a wicker man okay I thought yeah it's different thing totally different that was what that's a burning man was based it's not like satan worship it's very positive religion like in a and yeah so like we would do any time we moved into a new house and we moved a lot we do the sage get all the bad spirits out give me give me everything about wick and I'm so fucking I might want to join I've always wanted to join a religion so is it expensive to be a wick and no it's probably the most like free accepting religion it's great great love it okay we're

two gay couples right that's and you're you're you have a wick in church you mean one yeah wait where's your partner yeah i know we're gay couple we have other partners we're a gay couple we're cheating on those them we're looking for a new religion yeah you know what I mean we've been ostracized from the catholic church obviously right obviously and you have a and you know about the wickens right so we're coming into your church you're the is there a priest uh there's a priest and a priestess oh you're a priestess they're both of them yeah not just one uh i'm jack and i'm bruno hi hi so um hi so um tell us about the wick and religion well if you guys want to do a time out why do we have to be gay we could have just been us that's true yeah yeah I like that you're gay

me too me too all right feels right tell us about wicken yeah um if you're interested we can do a circle like circle jerk no no we love that we love that's why we did one an hour ago yeah well I don't lead the circle jerks but I'm sure you could find somebody in the group that does sure okay so give us some wake up very open-minded people here awesome um we'll meet at the park tomorrow at 4 p.m we know the park you know the park if you guys want to wear cloaks um or uh any kind of renaissance garb oh you know this goes to me what shopping I love shopping yeah whatever you feel comfortable with and then maybe we'll do a uh full moon ceremony I have a dwarf mall is that is that gonna I have like a little dwarf mall thing sure I've seen that that's not gonna be that I've seen that

okay good how do you get into wickenism how do you start how do you if I say I want to be wicken yeah how do we get where do I go is there a book yeah there's lots of books I think in any bookstore I I mean I know if there's a the religion section mm-hmm what's the what's your bible called there's no bible but what's your but what's your holy book called or what's the there isn't one is there there's not that's why the religion so hard to explain because there's so many different teachings on it but there's like there's wicken for beginners for beginners look at this look at the fucking cover of the book looks tight no it looks scary yeah that one looks scary there's a skull of a fucking deer well yeah it's when it's dead it's got a skull underneath what's the difference

right but all right we burned a lot of stuff what do you burn like you write down on your will you know like when I was a kid I'd be like I want a playstation and then you'd roll it up and burn it in the cauldron wow what because you want that to hopefully go out to the universe to become true yeah it's like praying it's how we pray but it's more fun I think yeah it's definitely not eco-friendly but I do understand yeah things you want you must burn but I but it's weird like growing up because I also accepted Jesus into my heart because my grandma's Christian but Jesus was wicken Jesus was pagan right who's pagan way yeah son god son god I don't know it all comes from the same place yeah I know they're all saying the same thing about it really yeah truthfully already can you say

something yeah we know nothing about it so far yeah nothing I know it's hard to explain yeah I don't like talking about it very much where you don't I don't yeah I haven't ever brought it into my stand up or is there a god there's a god and a goddess what are the names they just are they're not called anything they're not called it I think wikens are lazy well sounds like really a lot of disorganized it yeah organized lazy you know it is what it is it is what it is it's like yeah that's the book it is what it is yeah I also it's not as concrete as like Catholicism no shit there's like yeah exactly yeah they have the Vatican you know I mean you guys don't have shit they built a whole city yeah yeah that's why they won yeah they won they won yeah there's a bunch of lazy stoners they're very

organized could you be a wicken could like today still could I or could anybody no no are could you are you still a wicken today no I'm more like agnostic if I label it like I definitely believe in something but is your dad still alive yeah is he still wicken yeah and your mom so my mom my mom yeah my stepmom all right stepmom yeah and I think you've really found it after the divorce after the what after the divorce divorce oh so he wasn't wicken and then he met a stepmom and then he became wicken he met a girl and then he met that's what it is no that's how fucking powerful women are these pussies are out here yeah yeah teaching us how to imagine that you're like you know because your dad was a Christian right meets this girl I think yeah maybe

right and she's like giving him this and he's going yeah I'll join it because it's the best pee he's ever had yeah it's the best pee he's ever had and he's like I'll do whatever is she hot your stepmom he went no it was a different lady that he was with after the divorce who sucked by the way what was her name can we say her name Jamie yeah fuck you she's not alive anymore oh yeah does the bomber well okay we went two different ways okay my bad it's okay I immediately that's a bomber yeah no it's okay and then then he met my stepmom now who's awesome do you and she's wicken yeah and I think they met at like some like a wicken convention wicken camp or something yeah is there wicken camp I don't know the whole thing's really confusing kind of bum summers almost over

we could have gone do you ever go to that psychic bookstore on ventura no oh we should go there one time a psychic bookstore it's like this junk they have one in San Diego too it's like a chain but it's a good gigantic store where they sell some McDonald's of psychic yeah yeah like pentagrams and well I do want that kind of stuff I do kind of want to break into the evil spirit world me too I think we should get there but there's good spirits too in the evil spirit world well I don't go to the evil one yeah I want the evil one why just because like they need they need love too it's like only been alchemist yeah don't you want to be you want to grind shit and make potions I want I want double double boil and trouble I want I want we can we get an alchemy

set here I want to pop yeah the whole time yeah yeah I want to be don't want to learn about voodoo voodoo I love it have you guys been to New Orleans yeah yeah yeah we do we have we have money and we have uh we've been on plans okay wow okay I drove there okay the voodoo shit is what I do love the idea of poking a doll in it hurting the person that is kind of cool kind of that's real mm-hmm who would you do what would I do no which one would you oh whom would I do it to yeah well I'd start with you for fun but would it hurt no well a few things what would you do why I I would know if I'm on stage I go oh my dick yeah yeah well you know that's I'm going right for yeah I'm pulling I'm putting a little yeah a little hot heat yeah all right I'll stop I'll stop well now what if people like the

crowd loved it would you keep doing that oh yeah yeah yeah that would be our thing yeah but they could never know they could never know you're behind we do a residency in Vegas you're blowing up you're selling out fucking arenas in Vegas and I want some of the fucking shine because I'm doing it behind the scenes you don't want to give it to me our friendship ends you blow up I hire a contract killer to kill you and he tries to come kill you but instead he falls in love with you it's its story that you've heard a thousand times but then he can't deliver the act correct you're gone so then what you come crawling back to me yeah just like you knew you would it's like that lady who killed her husband and then lit his dick on fire afterwards wow right so I think that's her thinking is this

he's in heaven waiting in line pearly gates and he's just like I mean what was the point of that you do it before yeah you like the dick on before right right not afterwards good ladies if you're going to light someone's dick on fire yeah while they're still still alive yeah then they can feel it it's pointless yeah that's insane woman lights husband's penis on fire yeah wow yeah wow yeah well what'd you do what'd you do what'd you do what'd you do to light it like it's not just a divorce it's not just I'm sick of your shit like murder is one thing yeah yeah right yeah that's another level of anger another level yeah yeah it's just like me killing a wife and then just clipping her vaginal right when we die that's just the thought of yeah getting in there yeah yeah

yeah it's crazy somehow are easier to for my visualization to cut off because they're already out so oh that's lapping a dick off you're like man it's fellow right right what are you gonna do my brad no no no no no no it's good I just wanted to burn this penis so it belongs to me and no one else oh this is a different story this is a woman to burn her penis he's alive so this man was alive and this woman said her husband's penis on fire because it belonged to her and no one else and she didn't want it to actually get out of control her husband jumped out of bed knocked over the bottle of alcohol causing a fire to spread and resulting in one million dollars of the damage to their townhouse and adjacent property and adelaide advertising I mean fucking how expensive is

Australia a million dollar townhouse and this woman she uh she's charged with murder arson three counts of endangering the life as a cow wow wow and the father the father of three she had three kids of this guy then let his cock on fire would you stay yeah you gotta stick it out you gotta stick it out for the kids for the kids till death do us part yeah yeah yeah when they put a new claws in there till till burn till cockburn does you part yeah I bet she's crazy in bed though yeah yeah yeah oh that's my burn side can you imagine burning any of your gender have you ever had any kind of burn at all yeah I just burned my arm and it's my curling iron okay you know I mean like I bet like a fire

fire it does hurt I do see that a lot of times girls get like permanent big permanent scars from curling iron yeah I don't think it's permanent I remember one time putting our microwave broke and I was kid and I put kfc in the oven and you like the paper I just like grabbed the tray I didn't I forgot the whole tray got hot that's a tough one burn burns like like fourth degree burn on the face no first first is the worst right is it isn't first degree burn the worst or no is it the other way I don't know which way which way what's good like it's eighth degree bad or not good what is the level of burn the higher the degree the more severe the burn yeah so so fourth degree bad is bad yeah your fourth degree is that you need

skin grafts bacon you're bacon you're bacon Harvey Dent you're bacon yeah yeah but because I read a story about a guy who met his high school sweetheart she was in a fire and I saw the photo which is fucking she's probably a lovely lady right and he stayed with her right right because he loves the inside right and I was asking myself just let me just let me finish let me just like when you put a good seer on a steak it's still medium rare inside but the outside's crystal but I was asking myself would I stay of course you would I don't know the love of your life I don't know all right and I want to I want to be able to say I would well this is this age old question like if they get paralyzed in the middle of your relationship are you sticking out so if

if your boyfriend got burnt like this and it was burnt I mean had to tell would you stay you don't even understand like we have four roommates taking care of them in this house so you'd leave I don't know what I would yeah she'd leave that's what she's saying you would leave maybe maybe I wouldn't though because maybe we'd work it out that insurance money might be good yeah that's what I'm saying yeah I mean I don't know all right how about this I don't know okay we're all paralyzed what if they I'd stay you would yeah because I saw a tiktok video there was a girl so would she I mean she was to leave but yeah yeah too many stares yeah yeah there was a tiktok video of a girl who broke her neck at her bachelorette party

wow damn her pussy in her back to it she broke her fucking neck and she paralyzed her neck down oh yeah my god on her bachelorette party what do you think she was doing this she dove her friend pushed her in a pool oh I thought it was gonna be see this is the other side let's say this let's say this oh this is so dark no no no no I'm saying does your staying with your boyfriend the burn victim does it depend on how it happened right like one of the most tragic versions of chemical burn you know this around the world people chemical burn people it's disgusting I hate that that's disgusting I hate it so if someone it was with the hands of someone else you're probably more likely to stay yeah but if they did it themselves like drinking and fucking doing something

stupid let them self on fire then you're probably gonna go I gotta get out of here that's a really good point did you see the document of crazy love no so in the 1950s a guy was obsessed with this girl right he throws battery acid in her face fucking gross blinds her oh she marries them what and they're still together did he pretend to be somebody else no they she has to wear sunglasses because she can't see really she does look dope though I know she looked like a battery acid in her eye why did he do that to her they got into a fight because he she was seeing was seeing other guys okay can I say something though yeah and then nobody wanted to fuck her after that so like 10 years later she's like I might as well just go with the guy that threw the battery wanted to

fuck her nobody wanted because she was blind she had battery like scars on her face she looks totally normal she's wearing makeup they're all wearing makeup every every girl you know is wearing fucking makeup anyway that's I saw the documentary but she so she married this man what is miserable fucking documentary I know it's crazy it's called crazy love yeah yeah and she and he threw where do you get battery acid from yeah I don't even know how to get that how do you get battery acid do you guys even know is that don't don't even we're gonna get flagged and the FBI is gonna come here because we asked where you get battery acid yeah why isn't that's is it illegal how do you get acid out of a battery seems like a lot of work yeah a whole box of double D's and you're probably

good to go some synthetic drugs made from battery acid oh this is cool that's cool they just busted a guy in LA with like fucking $200 million worth of fentanyl did you see that fentanyl is gonna is gonna fucking kill everybody you can just get in the mail from china are you serious yeah can we order some fentanyl to the show fentanyl works by binding the body's opioid receptors found in the areas of the brain they could paint in emotions extreme happiness draws it right so it's a binding agent in your brain is great my problem with those drugs though is they don't last long right are they like 15 minutes fentanyl's a synthetic opioids 50 times stronger than heroin hundred times stronger than oh my god but how long does it last well how long does a fentanyl

high last four to six hours oh no the nasal sprays take 15 or 13 minutes but they wear off after four to six hours okay that's a pretty good fucking high let's get some while let's get some fucking let's get it all losages fentanyl losages imagine it's disgusting what this is doing to people though it's killing so it's a it's a gee it's supposed to it's supposed to be used to treat any kind of opioid or synthetic opioid i mean have you ever had a morphine drip you ever had morphine now i've been addicted to opium though that opium opiates opiates yeah morphine is i mean morphine in a bed in a hospital bed how about you juice and pill form yeah pills not that drip yeah but no more no no were you addicted to it yeah i would yeah what do you mean

how much were you taking i was just i was like viking in morphine like i would take i remember i i like partied and had a bunch of these morphine pills and then i picked up my friends from college and i was just like puking in a bag but i didn't want her to know so i like i like picked her up and then when we got back to our apartment she lived in a different building the same apartment and i just i was like i'll be right back and i just tossed a bag of puke in the dumpster you gotta keep that bag of puke yeah you gotta hold that near and dear was the high good though yeah the high was good but uh but uh but yeah i i kicked all this stuff gotta kick all this shit how about you morphine any kind of opiates we ever addicted to no no i mean i i mean i took i when i shattered

my leg i took uh Vicodin's and i ate those things like fucking candy yeah but i didn't like how i felt i felt well i couldn't poop yeah i didn't poop for like a week yeah you don't poop with opiates it's so hard to shit yeah so i couldn't poop i felt so weird it's you know my my fucking vice is booze i mean i just yeah you're a booze guy i like the way it feels so it's at the fucking korean spa i'm not gonna tell you which one because i want to get in trouble we spa whatever and literally right next to it and this this has been happening for the last year you can ask paulie about it right there's just the most beautiful women in a building i told you right and every time i go there and ask i go what's going on in there get away you don't have reservation

well how do you make a fucking reservation i know i go how do i get reservation no no no no no why do you think it is that they won't let you go they won't even let they won't even fuck with me there's a real brothel i could but look at them legit like a high-end brothel yeah they're all in there how come you can't get in and then a couple one night one night i was there and a couple of girls were going into a van and they looked at me and they go bobby lee i go tell me that's your in about it and they just got in the van they just drove away into the night damn it yeah they won't tell me well okay so if you are out there listening and you're a fan and you run the brothel can you please let us know not that i would do it i just want to call the

authorities i just want to because paulie asked to because i'm gonna ask brah so you went and asked they go no no to him too because it's like he's a movie star it's a dozen beautiful girls going in and out you told me you called me or like you wouldn't believe it it looks like a movie it's like a movie it's fake it looks fake yeah korea korea town what did you look up korea town sex workers yeah anyone live around western and maybe would notice all the okay people know yeah i just don't know i just don't know i don't have a number i don't know the guy i don't know thing what if it's just like a women's rights meetup and you just sort of mistaking it could be that it could be yeah that would be terrible a pita meeting at two in the morning you mean on a

saturday night you coming up just eating something in a row yeah yeah well um i gotta say here's the deal yeah please everybody out there and i mean this with all my heart and soul please send bobby dick pics so we can see how many we get for the next episode stop sending them to juice she don't want them she don't want them okay i got a test back you're positive i want to put my can i just put on my uh birthday oh fuck here we go if you're positive live on the air and be so fucking pissed show me not detected negative that's wow that's great can i say something by the way yeah in the history of this show that's been on the air for three years now or whatever two and a half year or something that do you realize the amount of times we've been in this room with co like remember

we filmed during the middle of coven yeah we i had it yeah you had it yeah fancies had it yeah these guys have all brought it in and come and gone jewels is obviously a little petri dish a little receptor and a giver what did they call that when you're not when you never get sick but you're she's a carrier carrier this this has been a covid family yes and i'm glad that you're negative thank you but i don't believe it i don't either i feel sick yeah you're sick have you all right coven yeah okay good yeah you're getting it again you're part of the family yeah you're part of the family brice have you had it get over and give bobby a kiss do it bobby he'll do it for the show send bobby dick pics please please please please no more to juice vaginal ones as well

to bobby yeah oh you want both combo send him everything send him at all all right juice you want to do you want to um say say thank you for being a bad friend i'd love to okay go ahead thank you for being a bad friend