Bad Friends - Dating Asian Orange

Episode Date: July 27, 2026

Get MORE Bad Friends at our Patreon!! https://www.patreon.com/c/badfriends Thank you to our Sponsors: Chime, Superpower, Mountain Dew & Quince • Chime: Join the millions who are already banking fee free with America’s #1 Choice for Banking. Head to https://chime.com/BADFRIENDS • Superpower: Head to https://Superpower.com and use code BADFRIENDS at checkout for $20 off your membership. Unlock your new health intelligence. 100+ biomarkers. Every year. Detect early signs of 1,000+ conditions. #superpowerpod • Mountain Dew: Look for American Dew limited-time packaging or find it in stores near you at https://mountaindew.com. • Quince: Go to https://quince.com/badfriends for free shipping and 365-day returns YouTube Subscribe: http://bit.ly/BadFriendsYouTube Audio Subscribe: https://apple.co/31Jsvr2 Merch: http://badfriendsmerch.com 0:00 Mexico Wins & FIFA Wags 6:00 Bring Back Shame 11:00 Island of Beautiful Women 12:00 Stinky Cheese 18:00 The TFL Movement 24:00 Dating Asian Orange 30:00 Objectively Handsome 37:00 Perfect Poo & Purple Potatoes 44:15 Carry-On Canned Sardines 49:00 Will Ferrell & 'The Hawk' 53:30 Never Trust a Hugo 1:00:00 Stealing the Engine 1:05:00 Poop in the Driveway More Bobby Lee TigerBelly: https://www.youtube.com/tigerbelly Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bobbyleelive Twitter: https://twitter.com/bobbyleelive Tickets: https://bobbylee.live More Andrew Santino Whiskey Ginger: https://www.youtube.com/andrewsantinowhiskeyginger Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino Twitter: https://Twitter.com/cheetosantino Tickets: http://www.andrewsantino.com More Fancy SOS VHS: https://www.youtube.com/@7EQUIS Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/fancyb.1 More Bad Friends iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-friends/id1496265971 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/badfriendspod/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/badfriends_pod Official Website: http://badfriendspod.com/ Opening Credits and Branding: https://www.instagram.com/joseph_faria & https://www.instagram.com/jenna_sunday Credit Sequence Music: http://bit.ly/RocomMusic // https://www.instagram.com/rocom Character Design: https://www.instagram.com/jeffreymyles Bad Friends Mosaic Sign: https://www.instagram.com/tedmunzmosaicart Produced by: 7EQUIS https://www.7equis.com/ Podcast Producer: Andrés Rosende This video contains paid promotion. #bobbylee #andrewsantino #badfriends #sponsored #ad Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey y'all, it's Kelly Clarkson with Wayfair. Ever order furniture online and wonder what if? Like, what if it doesn't hold up? That sofa was four days old. You should have ordered from Wayfair. With Wayfair, there's no what if. Just style you love and quality you can trust. Visit Wayfair.com.

Wayfair, every style, every home. Hey guys, I'm on tour Australia style. Shrimp on Bob, babe. August 14th in Melbourne at the MCEC as I'm going to be playing. Great venue. August 20th in Sydney at the Darling Harbor Theater. August 22nd in Brisbane at the BCEC and August 23rd in Auckland, New Zealand at the Bruce Mason Center

tickets at Bobby Lee.com. Everybody, we got new shirts. We got the shirts, baby. Go to bad friendsmerch.com. Bad friendsmerch.com. You're going to get yourself this in black or red. Black or red. Go see us at bad friendsmerch.com.

Go grab yourself a shirt. You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots. Why, dude? I mean, Asian dudes. You know, I got to tell you something, I've been watching more soccer than ever now. Good. It's blown my mind how much soccer I'm watching.

What's blown your mind about it? That I'm interested in it. Yeah, it's very interesting. Only when it's on TV. Oh, you can't see clips. I watch the game, but I don't want to engage in all the nuance. Yeah, I was at the We Spa last night. I saw the Mexico game.

Yeah, I watched a Mexico game from the hotel. And there's a lot of Mexican people that work at Wee Spa that went it. Yeah. I go pick up the towel. Pick up the towel. Yeah, yeah, like, what are we doing here? How do you say apes in Spanish? How do you say ape?

Mono, that is not bad. Mono. Mierde de de de mono. They went mirde de de mono. Mierde de de de mono. Mepan, bam, pamperman, pamperman, pamperman, bam, pamper bam bam bam bam. I'm late. I was late on that.

You were late. Yeah, yeah. I'm literally looking at the towels at we spa. None of them are done. All right. No, no, let's get this off my chest, right? And all the, everyone is watching the game. Yeah, they're watching the game.

Yeah, yeah. Do the towels first. No, they can't do the towels. Look at those guys. They were losing their mind. I watched the news. I was in Northern California, and they were talking about riots in L.A.

In North Hollywood. I loved it. They were doing donuts. They were breaking stuff. Every time there's a Mexico game, you can tell. You can tell there's a Mexico. Look at that guy. He's got Agent Orange on his face.

I don't know what that is, but that's how they celebrate. Right. It's just asbestos. What is that? From work. Yeah. That was in North Hollywood. That was that like Van Nyes, they said? That's insane.

Is it Pekoma? Yeah. But you know who they play next? Who? Mexico. Who do they play? Sunday. England.

Oh, yeah. Oh, it's over. Let's see what happens. Yeah, it's over then. Let's just see what happens. Although this pot will already be out by the time this happened. So, wow, wow, what a game. What a wonderful game.

Mexico won. It was cool to see messy. I'll say that. That was cool to see. Yeah, I know. I'm the greatest to ever touch a side. He's 40. And he's still fucking shit up.

I know he's great. He's great. He's great. He's one of the greatest of all time. No, no, he's the greatest. He goes messy, Maradonna. I know them all. He's the best.

Yeah. He's undoubt. Every soccer player ever has said he's the greatest. He is. You have Zinnidin Zadan. You got all those guys. But my point though is he is, but he is 40. Okay.

Can you imagine me on a soccer field? That's crazy to play with. He's playing with 19-year-olds. I know. And he's cooking them. He's cooking them. At 40 years old, how does he do this? He's just born that way.

I love when they cut to his wife, they go, and Miss Messi loves it as well. She's bouncing up and down, having the time of her life. Yeah. I will say this about his wife. Yeah. And I mean this. Beautiful. Very unattractive.

No. No, she's so gorgeous, dude. You know what they're called? The hottest couple in the world. No, they're called wags. Wives and girlfriends. Yeah, the wives and girlfriends. Oh, you know?

Yeah, wags are in all sports. Oh. That was only soccer. Look at his... There's wags and basketball? Baseball, too. Oh, really? Look at his body.

Yeah. Gee. Look at that body. Jimenez, Christmas. Jim, yeah. His legs, they don't even show his legs. Can you imagine the sex that they get to have? How fun.

I've never imagined that. How fun? Tell me how good is it? I'd love to cook that. Yeah. How big is his balls? Like a soccer ball? I guarantee you guys a tiny little ball.

No. No, because when you're running a lot, your balls got to get... If I was him, I would make my balls look like soccer balls. Get tattoos. Yeah. Yeah, paint your... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Argentina won.

And the other one, Miami. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. FC. Miami FC. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I love about it, too, is that, you know, Korea's out. Korea's way out.

And when they landed in Seoul, do you see the airport? Right? People where they're there going, you're a loser. You're a disgrace. That's great. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They fucking shame. People are screaming, you know what I mean?

Wow. Yeah. They're met with insults. Insults. and harassment. Wow, that's so sad. Wait, wait, pause. He motivates me for next time.

That's the coach's nose. Do you know why his nose is that long? Is he a liar? He's a liar. He's a liar. What did he lie about? I got to tell you something. This is awful.

No, I think it's good. These guys, they worked so hard. It doesn't matter. The World Cup was ruined because of you, one person just said. The World Cup was ruined. And it wasn't. It was ruined. No, it was.

It was ruined for Koreans. Nobody thought the Koreans were going to go far. Do we have son, right? We have one guy from the Wolverhamanderers. Forget his name. Look at, they won't even show us. They won't even show the face. For Koreans, it's a disgrace.

All right. And what I'm going to say as a Korean, we do good food, film. Good food. Good food. Right? Samsung, Hyundai, right? Get to the fucking knockout stages. That's all we ask.

You didn't do it. If you lost against Argentina, if you lost against France, fine. Fine. Fine. Right? That's right. But who do they? They lost against Mexico.

Yeah, Mexico's good, though. I know. But it was the goalkeeper's fault. The coach hired them. Oh, so it's a coach's fault. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So what my point is is that I think there isn't enough shaming going on. More shame.

Yeah, yeah. I think more shame. You know what I mean? And let me tell you something. I think that if the USA lose, shame. No. They don't get to go to a cracker barrel. Ever again?

For five years. Oh, my God. Yeah, yeah, there should be consequences. There must be. Costco, Cracker Barrel. What else? Walmart. You're not allowed to go in.

Those are American things. No more AM PM. No more AMPM, no more of that, right? You get shamed. Shame. Pulsinic. No, I think it's right for certain cultures. Koreans.

Yes, yes. You have to shame. But Americans here, you know, soccer isn't our thing. If it was a world football, American football thing, yes, I think we should shame them. Germany lost. You know what's going on with them. Yeah. Right on back.

And when Germany goes back to fucking, you know what I mean? Germany? They should go to Auschwitz. Yeah, they are. Hit the trains. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You betrayed your people. They should go to Auschwitz.

They have to. Yeah, like at least a year. Okay, not death, right? But like, you know what I mean? Hang out there. Right. You lost to what? Paraguay.

Yeah. Who did they lost to Paraguay? Right? He has another Netherlands lost. Netherlands did lose. Yeah. Who do they lose against? Morocco

Where do the Netherlands go Where are they not allowed to go Yeah when they go back to the Netherlands The shaming ritual what should it be No brothels for a year I was going to say for them It would be being around any minority whatsoever Yes

Because the Netherlands is like all white They don't let anybody in I think shaming is lost in the World Cup We need more shame I think we need more shame You have Because if Korea If Korea knew

that if they were going to fly back to Seoul, right, and get attacked like that, I think they would have won. Yeah, maybe. I think maybe. It would have helped. It would have been wrong a little more. They would have ran a little bit more. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I think there needs to be more shaming in the World Cup. I agree. Now you got me on your team. Do you really? High shame. Yeah, yeah. If you're fucking Russian, right, you lose, you go into Gulok. Let me tell you something.

Yeah. If Russia, yeah. I don't think they're in it. They will get killed. I think they do get murdered. Yeah, yeah. I'm not even kidding. Yeah.

they actually do that. I think. Because I'll tell you what, and this is truth, okay, when North Korea lost to 8-1, I think it was against Portugal. Oh, yeah. Do you remember that? And they said they won. They said they won. But every player and the coach went into manual label after that for a year. They had to move rocks. They went to a mining, they went to a mining facility. Saddam Hussein did it with Iraq. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that's, those are, I think that's fair. So what did he do? It suffered brutal treatment of poor performances, his son Uday Hussein, who headed the Iraqi Olympic Committee, reportedly tortured in prison and beat national soccer players and coaches following embarrassing losses or failure to qualify for major tournament.

We've got to bring that back. We got to go back. Uday Hosek, yeah, yeah. What do you think? Handsome guy. Yeah. So if the USA loses, what do you think? Yeah, I think we do need to shame and beat them.

Yeah, not beat them. No. We don't do that in this country. Why not? What? That's right. Why not? Why not?

You know, Guantanamo Bay. Get down there. Yeah, you got to get down there, right? Because people have been imprisoned for less. For way less. Yeah, you are representing your country. Best country in the world. You're representing your country.

Millions of people rely. They need this. Right, they need it, dude. In this economy, what's that? That's a soccer player who didn't do well. Yeah, yeah, he didn't do well. Yeah, yeah. He's like, I was on the bench.

I didn't play one. a second. Doesn't matter. Doesn't matter. You go to fucking Guantanamo Bay. How many soccer players? Look at it. That's right now the South Korean soccer team. And they have to sit like that all day. They sit like that. And I guess what? When you do that, the next World Cup, they get to the fucking final. Do they have to sit like that for four years until the next World Cup? They'll get a new crop of pillars. But what you do is you get the new crop of players and you show them what happened to the old crop of players. Yeah. Right. I got to see. Look at this.

Gullog. Propaganda. Do you remember him? He was the forward for, you know what I mean, our team. One of the best in the world. In the best of the world.

This is what happens to you. I did watch. I'm catching up on Margo has money problems. El Fanning show. Good. No, it's not good. It's amazing. I think it's incredible.

It's well done. She is such a good actress. Nick Offerman is phenomenal. And the Fife Dog? It's a great show, dude. But I will say El Fanning carries this show in a way where I'm like, every time she's on camera, Oh, she's the best.

She's so good. She delivers the lines. You believe every second of her character. I found her to be extremely beautiful. She is. I know, but like extra. She's so good in the show. Like if I was on an island, right?

And there was 10 women of the hottest women, right? And she was one of them. And they said, you have to, I don't know why I'm making this up, but like. It's on an island. Right? It's probably, you guys probably shared the fantasy. Not an island, a peninsula. Even better.

Is that better? Sure. We're on a peninsula. On a key. You're on a key. Okay, good. A key. Yeah, I'm in a key.

A key. A key. A key. Right? I think I would choose her over the nine other beautiful women. Wow. Yeah. Who were the other nine?

I don't just think of the most nine most beautiful women in the world. Done. Yeah. Margot Rabe. Over her. Over her. Galgado. Over.

Not because of the last. look. You know I said it up. Yeah, you said it up. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. How about you in a key? Me and a key. You're not, you're not with your wife anymore. And I'm on a key with a love. She sadly passed away. Nine, but you kill her? No. Nine beautiful women. Ten beautiful women. Ten beautiful women. Yeah, yeah. Who am I picking? Yeah, who you picking? This is how Facebook started. Yeah.

Kind of. Kind of. Kind of. I think this is kind of how Facebook started. Hot or not, right. Can I be honest with the group? I just, and I don't want anyone to go, no, you're wrong. I think I'm in an honesty, I'm in an honesty phase with myself. I know, the gold rings are doing something for you. Right. So I'm in an honesty phase to myself.

Let's just be truthful for once, okay, okay. I'm ugly. No. Yeah, see, see that, see, no. I'm ugly. Okay. Okay. By every metric of handsome, I do not hit.

No, that's not. Yeah, yeah, 100%. Jaw line. You have no jaw line. Yeah, exactly, right? Height. You're very tiny. Yeah, okay?

In every metric. And then people go, oh no, but you're cute. Yeah, LeBooos are cute. You wouldn't fuck them. You wouldn't fuck a looboo. Okay, but how about this? Yeah, yeah. Obviously you're incorrect because you have a girlfriend who's very pretty.

It's clout. It's clout, fame. That's it. You think if you had none of those things. Nope. She would never be with you. Hell no. Hell no.

Why can't I be, right? Yeah. No, no, flags. No, no. Why can't people just be honest with themselves? I don't think you're ugly. Yeah, yeah. I am ugly.

You're like an artist, though. You're like a stinky cheese. People still like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's worse. All right. You're blue cheese. I'm blue cheese.

Not everyone's going to get- Garganzola. I'm Gorganzola. But my point, though, being is, why can't we be honest with ourselves? I think you're, I think, listen, okay, I'm ugly. You're not ugly.

And I'm fine with it. Okay? I have other attributes, right? Yeah. But in the marketplace, if I wasn't who I am, okay? I don't like it.

I know you don't like it. I'm fine with it. Why are you saying it's the truth? Did you look in the mirror and have like something? I was staring up myself in the mirror at the spa. You finally clean them. Yes. You're a meany-weeney today.

You're so mean. All right. And I looked at myself and I objectively said, yeah, I'm pretty ugly. No. Okay, then give me the counter. You are in great. I'm talking about physically. You're in great shape for a man of your age.

Most men in your age range are not in your shape. That's true. Average weight of a 54-year-old who's 5-foot-3. You have to say man, too. Korean. Korean. Say Korean. All right.

An average weight of a 54-year-old Korean, 53-year-old Korean. It's 112 to 136 pounds. I weigh 155. So I'm fat. You're not fat. Yeah, yeah. I'm fatter.

Then the average. Now, I don't believe that. Yeah. Well, it's, we, you're going to refute AI? I'm not saying this in a negative way. I have high self-esteem. It's not from AI. It's from the Trong Tom Tio, Don Cardiff.

Oh, yeah, yeah. And that's the best fucking center for that. It is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The cron-crong-crime is the best for that, okay? They know. Look at, look at the statistics here. I can't read that map at all.

Map. Or that, whatever that is, right? But let's just be honest with ourselves, okay? I'm ugly. You're not ugly. Okay. Well, you haven't given me any other fucking... Give it to me.

From a physical standpoint? You have nice eyes. You got great hair. If I was... If I... Let's listen. Okay. I'm 55 years old.

I'm working at Chipotle, but not even in the front counter. You're cooking. You know, I'm in the back washing dishes. Oh, wow. Okay. I'm making $12.50 an hour. Yeah. Nothing wrong with that.

All right. You mean? I have no vehicle. Okay? I have to walk five miles home. Were you in prison for a long time? No, no, no, no. Yeah.

Why are you in this position? If I was in this position, right, there would be no aspects. I disagree. Someone would find you very attractive. By the way, there's a woman that works at that same Chipotle, Cheryl, who's half Asian. You know, she just came to this country, right? She just got a job there. She works at the front and she goes, you know what I think is.

She's 311 and she's. is a flat nose. And she says their co-worker... I'm talking about... She says to her a coworker, you know who I find hot? The guy in the back, he's funny and sweet and cool.

Can I propose something else to you? I think it's not just fame. Can I just propose something else to you, okay? What? Have I dated over the years beautiful women? Of course. That's what I'm talking about. But even before you were famed?

Yeah, yeah. Trang-trang. I mean, who works at the... You know what I mean? Chipotle, right? Trang-trang, right? Yeah, it's 3-11, right? One I'm missing, right?

She has fucking bullet hole wounds, right? Got shot. Yeah, yeah, a titty blown off. There's problems. There's problems. Yeah, yeah. I'm not going to be able to get, you know what I mean, the access to women that I find attractive. You dated hot women before you got famous.

No way. I was in the, yeah, I did. Yeah, but I was in the trajectory of fame. Okay, when you were in high school. No, nothing. Zero, nothing. You suck those guys' dicks. Yeah. Were they hot?

Probably a little. I think that I was the founder of the TFL movement. I'm one of the founders. You don't have the Google. I'll tell you what it is. Okay? No, I'll look it up too. Look it up.

You're not going to find it. Temple Fork Outfitters? No, no, no, no. See, that's what I'm saying. What's the TFO movement? No, I didn't say TFL. TFL? TFL.

What's a TFL movement? Let's see if you can find it. Transport for London? No, no, no, no. Total fucking loser. Oh, cut it out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes.

Where does it come from? Where is this coming from? It's coming from reality. I don't like it. You may or may not like the truth. All right? But here it is. Okay?

You don't know the truth. I know you can't handle the truth. Is that the line? Yeah. You can't handle the truth. Sorry, I fucked up that line, right? The truth is, is that I was a co-founder, founder of the TFL movement. All right?

And because I've had success, it doesn't immediately take you out of the TFL movement. Once you're a part of the movement, you're always a member. You can never graduate. You can never graduate. What? Who's the other founder? What? You said you're a co-founder.

Who else did you found it with? I don't know who the other founder because back then. I can't look at each other. Also, back then. there was no internet. Yeah, so we didn't know who the other founders are, right? But through the internet, I have found the other founders. Oh, you slowly found your...

Yeah, yeah. So when I look at certain internet videos, I go, can I send you one? Yeah. Okay. Internet video, sure. Yeah, yeah, a TikTok video. Yeah. And I realize this through this man.

Through one man on TikTok. One man on TikTok, and I will show you. Sorry, my bad. Your network is unstable, it says. Okay. It sounds like everything is. Oh, here we go. I will send it to you right now.

Hold on. I'm going to send this to Carlos Herrera. And I'm going to tell you who else is in this group, the TFLL movement, too. Okay. Carlos. I was going to say that's why we're close. Yeah. Chime.

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Terms and limits apply. Go to chime.com slash disclosures for details. Superpower. Oh my God. I love getting my blood test by superpower. Yeah, it was good, man. Did a great job. You know, as you get older, you want to know what your help.

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My favorite part about it, man, when we did this, it was so great. It just showed me stuff because I thought like, oh, maybe this level is lower, that level is low, and you're just guessing. you're looking up on the internet. But Superpower gives you access to that, and I was low, vitamin B12. Needed more of that. So thank you to them. Make this year the year you stopped guessing about your health with Superpower for a limited time.

Our listeners get $20 off to unlock their new health intelligence. Head over to Superpower.com and use code Bad Friends for $20 off your $199 Superpower membership. After you sign up, they're going to ask you how you heard about Superpower. Tell them Bad Friends sent you and support our show. I think this age of personal empowerment, self-improvement. You don't like it. Manifestation. You ignore the truth.

Right. And the truth is this, okay? Is I'm a fucking loser. I disagree. Yeah. And you know what? I'm fine by it. You mean physically.

Because you're a success. I'm talking physically. You're a success in every other metric of your life. Friends, community, job, career. And I'll tell you why. Huge success. I'll tell you why. It's all shame.

Shame-based. And because of shame. Because of shame. shame, right? I can endure so much shame, right, that I've gotten to the status that I've gotten to. Maybe you should coach the Korean

I'm going to coach the Korean team. You would be good. Yeah, I think that's a good callback. Korea, if you're listening, right, I'm coaching the next team. Rename the team, the TFL. Because we'll never win a game. We'll never win a game. That's a good thing. I'm going to put every position in their opposite position. Okay. You're a center

Ford, you're goalkeeping. Right? You're a white wing, you're a left back. All right. Every position is going to be wrong, right? I'm going to put women in it. Okay. Anyway, I don't know if this is funny what I'm saying.

It is, but it's sad because I don't buy into this. You might not buy into it. This is what I'm feeling as a lay. So there's a beautiful woman in your life. Who is your girlfriend? And you tell me, so her attraction to you is invalid? she's wrong I think there are exceptions

to every rule well there's no rule being broken yeah there is what is don't date ugly Asian men no no no I think that let's just be honest then

if you want right every woman I dated right their dad was in Vietnam at PTSD right took that rage you know yeah right

threw it onto the daughter right And she's like, I don't want to date. Oh, you know what I mean? PTSD white man. Right. Right. So they go to the Asian, right, and goes, you know what I mean?

I'm rebelling. You're like a, hey, daddy, look who I'm dating, right? They get all PTSD and out, you know? Right. Right. They smell Agent Orange. You know what I mean? They smell like, you know?

It's Agent Orange. Whatever. Agent Orange, whatever. Yeah, I mean. I hear bullets, explosions, right? When they go, here, Daddy, look. Right. they get back into that.

Here's another thing. Flashbacks. Right. The white women that I've dated, right, had a dream of getting out of white. They want to get away from white. Right. So they grew up in the Midwest. All they saw was white people.

And every once in a while, they'll go, you know what? I'm tired of white people. Right. Right. I'm going to go with the opposite. Okay. But there's no other exceptions outside of those two. But most of time, it goes to black culture.

You're interesting. you're, that's a real left turn. Yep. You're the farthest left turn. I say east, far east. Yeah, yeah. I'm the far east that you can turn. So a far right turn.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. Far right. And you are far right. No, I'm liberally. I'm liberally. Politically, I'm liberal. Okay, but yeah.

So I know people don't want to hear this because I feel good about myself. So your position is you're okay with telling yourself that you're ugly. it's being objective. And more of us should tell ourselves that we're ugly. I think that people should just be honest with themselves. About their looks. Because you see a lot of mid, I'm sorry, I'm going to say something, maybe controversial. Yeah.

Right. But you see a lot of TikTok. I see a lot of TikTok, maybe too much. Yeah. Okay. Maybe too much. All right. I see a lot of midwomen going, yeah, I need a guy that makes $3 million a year who's six foot two.

It's like, no, you're ugly. and you should be dating men that are ugly. Yeah. Right. And I'm saying that I'm going to be honest with myself. Right. Right. And I go, I got lucky.

I took some risks. Yeah. Right. But objectively, I'm not, if you look up handsome. Let's see if I hit any of the lists. What does it mean to be handsome as subjective, though? No, it's not. There's no objectivity to handsome.

Objectively handsome. No, not Asian actors. Just say, what is the, objectively Hansom What does it mean to be objectively handsome? Yeah.

In America today. Handsome describes a man with classic, dignified, aesthetic appeal, often characterized by strong facial symmetry and proportion.

Unlike thought. Stop there. I don't hit those. You're pretty symmetrical. Yeah, in a mythological way. That's right. Yeah, this is for humans.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. This is for humans. You have a very classic appeal. Yeah, yeah. I don't live in like a tutorial fucking, you know what I mean, forest. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you know. But you could.

And I will. And I will. So I'll keep going. Unlike hot, which focuses on overt sex appeal or cute, which leans towards a youthful or smaller features, which you've been called. Handsome implies a refined, more permanent sense of good look. Exactly.

Let's go. Authenticity and grooming. You have that. You're very authentic and you're very well groomed. You always smell good. The total package. You are a part of the total package. Emotional.

No, no, no. Extend. No, this is bullshit. I don't think so. You know, no. Is AI wrong? You're going to say AI's alive? If you're looking for a defined aesthetic standards.

It's, dude, are we out of your mind? Because I smell good. I'm fucking hot. You do smell good. I know, but that's not. I've been tricked by a smell before, buddy. Women like funny first. That's what they say?

No, that's bullshit. I believe it. No, I don't. Every one... If you weren't funny... Okay. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. If you weren't funny, you'd be hideous.

Okay. Okay. So... If I wasn't funny, I would be very unattractive. It's a part of your... Your aura is that. Okay. What I'm saying... So your funny is part of your looks.

What I'm saying is when I... Before I was a stand-up, was I funny? Yes. more funny than most guys. So I, you know what I mean, I would hit on girls, right? And they were like, you know, and they claim funny is the thing, right? Then a year later, they'll have a boyfriend. The most unfunniest guy you've ever seen in your life.

They eventually come around. Look what's happening now. No, what I'm saying is that they say, I guess, you know, you guys aren't. The funniest part about this is we're about to have one of the most handsome dudes on earth on the podcast. Yeah. It's so funny. He's so handsome and talented. Pitch this to him. Get in here, Jimmy. Get him in here so we can. This is going to be the best version of this guy needs some.

How are you, Big Dog? Good to you. So, Jimmy. How are you, buddy? Okay, sit up. Sit up. Get him set up in the blue chair. He needs to be a part of this. Great men have sat in those chairs. The blue, blue. Go to blue. Jack Black one. Jack Black sat on that. It's nice, right? What a handsome guy. People think it might not be comfortable, but yet it is. Jimmy, put your earphones on if you want. You don't need to if you don't have to.

Can I ask you a question, Jimmy? Go ahead. Yeah, yeah. And there's no offense to the question I'm going to ask you. Okay. Okay. None at all. Okay.

Am I objectively handsome in societal terms? Already, stop, stop, stop, stop. See, already I made my point because he's trying to say something positive. No, no, he's thinking. No, it's yes or no. He's thinking. If I was met, Ron. He would say yes immediately.

Maybe he's not attracted to Matt Rife. Okay, but Matt Rife is objectively handsome. Maybe not to him. Okay, so go ahead. I would say, Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Coming in hot. Yeah.

I would say objectively, yeah. Yeah, he'd say objectively. Yeah, he'd be not. And let me say something. I love Jimmy more than anyone else in this room. Sure. Because he's being honest. But Jimmy doesn't know you.

It doesn't matter. I'm talking about just on my physical appearance. Okay? Without knowing my personality. This is what we're talking about. You're adding in, oh, can he do sketch? You can. Yeah.

You're good. Does he have improv skills? No. I don't give a fuck about that, right? What I'm saying is Jimmy, I'm not objectively handsome. But. No, there's no but. But you may have.

What do they say? But you may have sex appeal. Yes. Yes. Sex appeal. You've got sex appeal. Now, Jimmy has sex appeal and he's handsome. So he's in first place.

Okay. But you're still running, baby. You're still in the race. Okay. I want to say this. Okay, Jimmy. Yeah. Yeah.

All right. Jimmy Tatro is on the show, by the way, ladies and gentlemen. We're coming to the wrong. Thank you, and nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. I can't if you guys have never met before. I feel like we've, I feel like we've, we never know that. Never know.

You've never met before. I can't, we know, no. Good to see you, though. Good to see you. Yeah, yeah. Very handsome. Likewise. Mm-hmm.

But he means mentally. Yeah, mentally. Mentally, you're handsome. So I don't want to be a downer, Jimmy. Yeah. Okay. And we're gonna get into, you know what I mean? Yeah.

Everything else. But I just want to say that if there was a hundred, we, no one knew who the fuck we were. Mm-hmm. and you took 100 women from all over the world, right? Attractive women. All over the world. And took two photos of us from head to tell and said, who's the most handsome between you and I?

What do you think the answer? Well, but it's all over the world. So remember, you're going to get some votes that he won't get. Okay, I know. But what do you think it will be? I think maybe, maybe, you know. Maybe like 70, 30, 75, 25. Pretty good.

Yeah, yeah. And that's all you. And that's you. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. Okay, but that would... You feel like I'm coming in in the middle of something. No, no, you're not coming in the middle of something.

It's really good to see you. Give Jimmy a round of applause, everybody. But this would be the same number. No, I was just getting... From a stranger, I was just trying to get fat. This would be the same number with him and I. It would be a 70-30 same. I don't think so.

Yes, it would. Because I'll tell you why. Yes, it would, dude. Jimmy, I'll tell you why. He has traditional handsome looks. Jimmy, I'm a... I saw you... When you were in San Diego Balboa Theater.

Balboa Theater, right? I was in the audience watching you perform. And there was two women sitting next to me. This is God honest truth. They were very both attractive. And they looked at me and they go, your friend on stage is hot. Because I'm on stage.

No. You took out all the comment stuff. If you just said, objectively, what you asked him, same thing, 70, 30, same numbers. Go ahead, speak your truth. 7030, you and I? Maybe a little, it might be a little more skewed,

maybe, maybe 65. Okay, 65, 35. So I got five more percent, dude. What was... Thank you so much for being honest. Welcome to the show, man. See? Welcome to the show.

I'm sweating over here. Yeah, yeah, don't be sweaty. Don't be sweaty, man. This is the vibe of the show. This is the vibe of the show. We already got through a lot of our soccer talk. What was your stance on this? See, I think he's extremely attractive.

He's putting himself down for no reason. I think he's got so much... I'm not putting myself down. I'm being objectively honest. He's got a lot of genus et qua. You know, there's something about Bobby that's un... When somebody says people have the X factor

when it comes to talent, which you have, you're not a lot. You can't dictate what that is. He's got that for sex appeal. Women do find him attractive. Some. A lot. Yeah.

A lot. Yeah. That doesn't surprise me. See? That's why I said the sex appeal. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you said objectively. Yeah.

Yeah, that's what I said. Objectively. if they didn't know who I was, I think the number would be closer to 99 to 1. I do. Globally. Historically.

Historically, in Rome. Well, that's not go back. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. In Rome. Any historical... Mesopotamia? Yeah, Mestepetamia. Yeah, all right.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. Right? And I'm okay with it. I have high self-esteem, right? I have worth. Yeah. I walk around with my head up high, arms open, with confidence. He always walks like this.

Yeah, I always walk like that like that like a penguin, okay? I see that's, we haven't met, but I have seen you walking. Exactly. I do that. Yeah. Because that's confidence. I have confidence, right? Are you single?

No, no, I'm engaged. But he's, congratulations. Is the woman that came in here earlier, you're the one you're engaged with? No. Okay, who is she? That's Lauren. Lauren, come out of here for a second. You think he's going to bring his fucking fiancé to the show?

No, no, Lauren. You don't have to be on screen. Just can I see you? Oh, there's a... Hi, Lauren. That's your publicist. Just stay right there. You're your publicist, right?

Yeah. She doesn't want to be on camera. She's not going to be on camera. Okay. Are she on camera? No. Okay. All right.

So we can even bleep your name off, right? Can I ask a woman? No, no, you're not going anywhere now. Yeah, yeah, she can't even answer it. Okay. Yeah. She knows better. She's a publicist.

The last thing she wants to do is the fame sign. I understand. It's not defaming I've accepted. I'm fine. Jimmy, how are it? How's your life? You know, it's, uh, life's good. Good.

Yeah, life's good. Yeah. How you doing? Busy bowl. I feel great. I feel wonderful. You ever fast? Do I ever fast?

Yeah. I did, uh, like a broth fast. A broth fat. Yeah. For how long? Like, like 36 hours. Chicken or beef? Uh, I think I alternated.

Yeah, you got to keep switching. Because all my friends were on like a water fast. Like a couple years ago. like we want to do this set. They did like a 72-hour water. That's insane. And that sounded intense. 24 hours is the longest I've gone, but I do it once a week.

Oh, really? Yeah. And then how do you feel after? Terrible. Hungry. Yeah, I feel absolutely terrible. So why do you keep doing it? I don't know why.

Yeah, I have no, because you go on the internet, they say it's good for you. Yeah. They do. But you're not feeling any actual benefits. I think that I feel I haven't had diarrhea in a long time. Okay. That's a good thing. I haven't had diarrhea in a long time.

time. That's good. My stool is perfect. Oh. Pure perfection. Yeah. Like solid. We're thinking about entering it into a context. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I could win. After every stool, you take a photo, send it to Chad GBT. Give me a score out of 10. Oh, I see what you've done there. That looks pretty good. Yes. I over some suggestions. Of course I do that. Of course. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, we all do. Yeah. And then I also, um, no processed foods. Mm. Unless they've been processed. Yes. If they're already processed, I eat them. What does that entail, though? Like, like processed food, so you're not eating like, like chips?

No. No chips? At all. No carbs? No carbs. Yeah, yeah, at all. Unless there are things that I'm eating that have carbs I'm not aware of. Like he has pasta and bread and yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not aware of those carbs.

No, no. Here's the thing, Jimmy. I eat Japanese purple potatoes. Got to have purple potatoes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Those are good for you, you know, sardines, salmon, you mean avocado, things of that nature. I'm sure they have carbs, but you know what I mean? I'm trying to eat everything on organic.

A lot of organic. Are you a diet guy? I recently, I did a blood test, came back super high cholesterol. Me too. And I was shocked because I thought I ate really well. But I wasn't being mindful of saturated fats. So then I read. What are those?

What are those? That's like, you know, butter has the most. So good. And what I didn't realize was like eggs. I was eating like four eggs a day. Each egg has like a gram and a half. Of saturated fat. Saturated fat.

Or the egg white. Egg whites have none. So I'm fine with eating egg whites. So I kind of switched over, cut back on red meat a little bit. I'm going to die. I don't care. Yeah. Eggs, cheese.

I like it. Cheese is also, it's like all the fun stuff. Yeah. I don't eat any of that right now. It's been weeks. So what do you? Oh, you said salmon and Japanese purple potatoes. Would you call me?

Purple potatoes? My dick's purple. Is it? Yeah. It really is. But anyway, let's move on from that fact. Why do you, why are you not in your head? Well, I wish I had known that before you asked me.

I would have given you some, that would have given you some point. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Purple penis. Yeah. So, um, egg whites and so what else are you? So steak also has saturated fats. Yeah, a lot. If you cut out the.

fat though in it, is that fine? That helps. It helps. It helps. If you eat leaner meat. If I eat leaner meat. Okay. I think do what you feel is right and then you'll die. So who cares? Yeah. It's not going to matter. You've got to be on camera a lot. That's why you're doing it. It was more because, I mean, I thought I was eating well. And then I saw that and I was like, oh. Do you and your wife soon to be do the thing where you meal prep and meal plan together? No. Okay. Is she wildcard? She eats whatever she wants. She, she likes to cook. I like to eat what she cooks And then if she's out of town

I'm a big postmates guy Big postmates, me too Postmates yeah Yeah, me too I'll do all of it I do all of it too Yeah Yeah but it's bad because there's nothing good on there

It's usually pretty bad shit on there No You know what I do? You can find it I postmates Erwan That I do as well Thank you

On the road? What do you mean When you're out of town From now on, when I go out of town, can sardines in my fucking bag? That's all you're having. Yeah. And sardines. Do you bring them with?

Yeah, I'm going to bring them with. Sir, do you have any hazardous materials in this carry-on luggage? I have 50 cans of sardines. Yeah. I hope that's okay. That's insane that you do that now. Are you ever hungry? And then you're like, and you just check your pockets and like, oh, thank God.

And you have a pack of sardines on you? A couple loose sartagnet. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Mountain dude! It is America's 250th birthday. And let me say, I'm going to.

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But it's risky why Because it goes over the 100 million. You can bring chardines in your carry-on, but it's risky. It's very risky. The water goes over the ounce limit. Oh, fuck. What if you catch in your bag?

Well, you should just keep them all in your mouth, the whole flight and swallow when you're hungry. Okay. You don't check your bag. Yeah. You don't check them? I only do carry-on, no. Like a hobo.

I have a stick and a little bag. I walk across. He takes a train to L.L. L-A-X. Yeah. Train hops all the way down there. Yeah, yeah. But I,

you don't ever check a fucking bag. No. Never. Unless we have to when we're on a big tour. If we're going on the world, yeah. What about Australia? Are you going to check one? Don't do it.

Yes. Try to see if you can get away with it without doing it. It'd be so funny to try to do that. Well, how long are you there for? Two weeks. Easy money. Oh, two weeks. You can do laundry at a venue.

Yeah, I'll laundry it. I think you should. I think you don't need you. Two weeks. Two weeks. You got to check two weeks. No. No.

Very good question. Yeah, thank you. Okay, so... You see that? See this? Size four. No, that's... It's not the shoe, Jimmy.

It's the jeans. I have raw denim on. I bring one pair of jeans. Ah. Okay? So I can fade them, all right? So all I have to do is put shirts in. Underwear too, yeah.

Underwear and socks. That's true because the pants, that's what takes up the most space. Exactly. When you're in short, for two weeks. How many pants do you bring? I bring too many pants. But he's a hot guy. Hot guys have too many pants. I just said it again. Hot guy. Yeah, yeah, you're hot guy. Yeah, because hot guys. Ugly dudes? One pair. One pair. I'll do two. That's the other five percent. I thought you said a hat guy. And in my head, I'm going, why do hat guys have more pants?

No, you're hot guy, hot guy, hot guy. Yeah. Let me ask some brass tacks real fast. Yeah. How fun was it working with Will Ferrell for real? It was great. Best thing ever. Yeah. I've never met him. Coolest guy in the world. He's the best. Have you met him?

Yeah, but you know. I've never met him. In passing, it's not a real... I've never even been around him. No way. Yeah. I have a hard time believing that. That's the 100% of truth.

I've never seen him or... I mean, the other day I saw Vince. Vaughn? Yeah. That has nothing with Will Ferrell. I know, but I'm just telling you... I get the association, legendary comedy guys, tall.

Tall. Tall. No, what I'm saying is that I'm, I'm, telling you how close to proximity I've been to the top. The degrees of? Yeah, yeah. This was my fifth time working with him. See, you're hot.

Hot. I mean, that's what Will wants. He wants to be. I know he does. Because he's got to be the ugly. This is the fifth time, but first TV series. This is his first. I think it's his first series that's like his series.

That's crazy to think about it. That's crazy. Why? Because in my mind, I think for sure he's had a television show before. But he's a movie star And then he never He's a first entry Does big

Big mass of movies At least that I know of I don't know if he's had like a The Hawk now on Netflix right now Yeah I know that he Or maybe the shrink next door Is that a is that a show?

Yeah Was he oh yeah He was the series regular on that And then he off obviously Like he's bound and down But I think this is like But it's his lead shit Yeah he's like he is the hawk

Yeah he's the hawk We did an advertisement for your show Oh yeah Yeah. It was fun to do. How did it go? We wore the hat. No, it was fun. We wore the hat. We wore the hat and we had a good time doing it. Yeah, because we're proud of you. We are very proud. And congratulations.

Where did you guys shoot most of the show? All in L.A. Everything in L.A? The whole thing in L.A. Except we shot at TGL. Oh, in Florida. In Florida. So we did like the last couple days, we would go out and during the commercial breaks, we would shoot at TGL. The boys got the hats on. There you go. Good job, boys.

Way to be team players. Yeah. Is that Luke Wilson? Yeah, it's funny. Because Owen has a golf show, and then Luke's doing this to combat it, which is very funny. Yeah. That's amazing. Almost like a fuck you.

What's Luke like? Luke is cool. Yeah. He's an interesting dude. He's like very casual and like chill. Yeah, that's good. And laid back. Yeah.

Exactly like his brother. And he's definitely the best at golf out of three of us. Oh, really? Lucas. He's actually quite. Are they better than Andrew? Have you played with Andrew? I don't know if he's, I think he's pretty good.

Yeah. One of the best. Hi. Can I say something? Yeah. Jimmy? Pure athlete. Pure.

I think we need to get you, I think we need to get you on the show. It'd be nice. Yeah. You know what I'm pissed off about, Jim? Can I call you, Jim? Yeah, sure. This is like an old cowboy movie. Can I call you Jim?

Go ahead, Bob. So, Jim, um, Hit me, Bob. I will, Jim. Sounds good, Bob. God, you're good. What a crafty. Call me Robert.

Then you call him Jiminy. I'll call him James. Jimothy. His first name is Jimothy. Is it really Jimothy? Can I call you Jimothy? On my wife since it's Jimothy. I'm going to call you Jimbo.

Okay, cool. Can I call you Jimbo? Jimbo I'm not as passionate. That's why I'm going to call you that. Because there was in my high school, a father of one of the kids named Jimbo. and everyone thought he was super cool and he was not cool not so cool

let's go back to Jimmy so Jimmy I'm going to say that Andrew is a great actor can you agree on that okay I can okay what's the angle here

there is no angle okay there's only truth today okay today is about he's on his truth he's big on a truth yeah okay

is that you're a great actor that's nice and you're a great golfer right season two get this guy on the no no yeah yeah

he has no control of that? He's an actor on the show. You can say things. I can say things. Yeah, yeah. You can say things. I can say some stuff. No. Yeah. No. And it makes me mad that there's these golfing projects that you're not in the top three in. I get that. I think it should be on it. Yeah, yeah. This is like just for us. I like where you are though. Pretty close to my house. Oh, it is nice. Oh, that's nice. Good. Yeah. So you're in the area.

I'm like, you know, 10 minutes away. Oh, you're 10 minutes away. That's perfect. Yeah, it's great. Did you read for this show? for the will pharaoh hawk the will pharaoh hawk i actually didn't because offer only you know he's off offer only no i i had literally

just come off of a movie with like the whole with well and the whole the whole team perfect and so they made it happen went straight from that in india yeah

he's a good actor he's nice to look at he's nice to work with you know he doesn't cause problem that's why he's so successful yeah and then also um Fortune Feimsters in this. Yeah.

Who's one of our friends, a good friend. I love Fortune. She's so fucking funny. Yeah. She plays the caddy. She's the caddy. She, yeah. She plays a caddy that's like he picks up in a Walmart parking lot.

Love. And is like, hey, do you want to be my catty? Yeah. Just a random woman from Walmart? Yeah, yeah. Because he's just like, he's like this kind of washed up golfer who's trying to make his way back under the tour. Yeah.

And something happens. He needs a new caddy. and he just sees this woman and he likes her vibe at a certain point and he's like, hey, do you want to be my catty? And she's like, I have no idea what that means. So the whole half the time he's like telling her. Explaining to her golf?

Yeah, he's like, let me get my seven iron. She's like, which one is that? The one with the seven on it. Kind of on the nose. Yeah. Yeah. So wait, this is the funniest part about the show that I did notice was he's got

Luke's got a shirt on that has Mike's Hard Lemonade on it. Yes, his character is sponsored by Mike's hard lemonade. But the layers of this is funny and true because obviously Mike's is a sponsor of the show. So like clever moved by them to be like, it's funny. Also, we're going to, they're. Are you the nemesis in the show?

I, we kind of are, are, uh, you're the nemesis. Nemesis. Nemesis. Yes, co-nemesis. Yeah. Oh, co-nemacy. Aren't you his son? I'm the son.

Yeah, he's his son. Oh, no. Well, but I play a pro golfer and he plays a pro golfer. And at a certain point, he's worried that I'm going to kind of start. to outshine him. That's so funny. So he sets off kind of on a mission to take me down. That's funny.

It's good. It seems like maybe it's going to be like a nice kind of father-son story. Yeah, yeah. It's like, you know, maybe he'll coach him. Yeah. He's like, no. Do we ever see your mother? Oh, yeah.

My mother is Molly Shannon. Oh, it's so good. Never heard of her. So good. Anyway, no, she's great. What a talent. One of the sweetest people. One of the sweetest and most talented people.

She is so funny. She, on like the last day is shooting. Everyone's kind of leaving. And I just, I was like, oh, man, I haven't said. buy to Molly yet and I just hear like boom, burn, boom, and I like walk out of my trailer and she's blasting Chief Keefe.

And I'm like, I'm like Molly and she's like, she's like, I love Chief Kee. She goes, do you know Cheatkeek? Isn't he great? I was like, yeah, he's great. I love it so much. That's amazing that she loves Chief Kee. She drove off with like a sub, slapping Chief Kee. She's like two 12s in the back.

Yeah, yeah. I make it thump. Bye, Jim. me? Yeah, literally. She's the shit. Can I ask you another question, Jim? Yeah, yeah. Shoot, Bob. He's inquisitive today. Do you want children? Do I watch what? Do you want children? Do I want children? Yes.

We're trying to sell some here. Guys, bring out the kids. We have a Nigerian and a Puerto Rican. Choose wisely, De Tro. I was looking for an Asian. Good. Do you want kids? We can't have kids. We tried. We did it for a long time. Okay. Couldn't do it. But I will. Well, you adopt a Nigerian or Puerto Rican. We have a couple back there.

They come home with me at night. Oh, they do. Okay. Is that why you're asking? What? Because. Oh, no, no, no. Not because of me.

No, not because of them, no. No, but we did try to have kids. I just, I'm at the point out. I'm 43. I think I might have missed the train. I'm 55. What the fuck are you talking about? Yeah, but, but Asians,

specifically Koreans, they're good. We're losers. No. Look at the World Cup. They're good as old dads. Old white dads, scary and sad. Old Korean dad, funny, sweet, cute.

Jimmy, do you have Korean friends? I think so. Oh, my God. Well, you got one now. You got one now, so that's one. I'm racking my brain. Where'd you grow up? I grew up in L.A.

In here? Yeah. Where'd you go to high school? I went to Notre Dame and Sherman Oaks, but I grew up on the west side. Huge, Venice. Huge. Do you have Asian friends? Yes.

Oh, good. That's all I wanted to hear. Yeah. Yeah, growing up in L.A. for sure you have Asian friends. This is L.A. Yeah. And Mexican friends, for sure.

Yeah, yeah. You have to. Definitely Mexican friends. You're a west side kid. I didn't know that. Yeah. You're a west side kid. How west?

Venice. Okay. You could be an ocean kid. I don't know. As west as you could have been born on a boat. Yeah, yeah. But Venice, you grew up in Venice because you're what held you? I'm 34.

Yeah, you grew up in Venice and it was still pretty tough when you were a kid. In the 90s, yeah. It was like a rough patch down there. It was, yeah. It's definitely changed a lot since I lived there. Sure. Are you a Dogtown kid? Oh, yeah.

You are. Skate? Skate. Skate. Skate. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You look like a dog town. It's a kid to me.

Yeah. Yeah. You do. Did you get in fights when you were a kid? Not so much. Not, um. Were you in Lords of Dogtown? I wasn't in Lords of Dogtown.

Hey, yeah. Do you know Tony Alva? I don't. I wished I did. Yeah, yeah. You know who he is? But I did, yeah. I mean, like, after.

I saw Lloyd's of Dogtown as a kid. I was like, oh, man. That's my life story. But that's us. Yeah. Yeah. Isn't that kind of crazy, though, do you see movies like that knowing that you grew up in the thick of that thing?

Like in that place, whether you knew it or not? Well, honestly, you know, it was weird? When I saw the movie mid-90s, I, like, wanted to not like it because I was like, nah, skateboarding movie. Like, what do they know about? Jonah's movie, right?

Yeah, skating in Venice and 1990. And then I saw it, and I was like, oh, man, that was like, that was my life. And it was like the three dudes, it was like that black dude on the left and then like the little boy That guy the guy with the long hair and it was like that was my squad I was like the little white dude and then I had my two best friends was this Mexican dude and this black dude who were both like four years older than me and I was the one that filmed the videos And it didn't skate at all no I did I did let me ask you something can you do a pop shove it? Yeah Can you do a kick flip? Yeah He'll flip I have but I wouldn't feel I I couldn't I I don't know if I could do a

right now. But you pulled one off, but in your life? Many, yes. Oh, many? Many. Let me ask you the other ones. Laser. No. Okay, no laser flip. If you can't do a fucking heel flip, he can't do a laser flip. He's done a heel flip, he said, in his life. No, he said he can't really do it. I peaked at the tray flip. Trey flip's big. Trey flip's huge. Yeah, the tray flip were. Can you tray flip onto a rail?

No. Okay. What? Trey flip onto a rail? Okay. He's not a pro skateboarder. Okay. That's insanely hard. He could be like you to Horogomi. He could be. That kid's good. He's so good. He could be.

This is your crew. That's your crew. That was literally my crew. Yeah, this is why I like you. Now, were you a little bad boy, though? I wasn't that bad, no. No drugs, no booze. I was more of a good boy back then.

And then the friends were kind of bad boys. And my parents were always like, we don't like you hanging out with. Mexican. It was. It was. You know. Jimmy, why can't you have white friends? That's gay

Tony Alva There was Chris and AJ And my parents liked them But then there was this kid Hugo And he was already Hugo's He was even older Yeah And he would like

It's like 45 He was like I don't know how old But I thought he was like 20 Yeah yeah But I was like 12 And he would like pick up cigarettes And light him

And he would like pick up And I was like damn He's like so Hardcore That's hardcore Now Hugo has hepatitis B And then he like keyed my dad's car one time Yeah, that's what Hugo's dude

I don't like this Hugo guy I was like what's so bad about Hugo He's like he fucking keyed my car Yeah Why did he key your dad's car? Does he look the windows? Hugo's look the windows He just, I don't know why he keyed the car

I think it was just to feel something Dominance yeah Well he was beat Hugo came from pretty tough household For sure Yeah Hugo was definitely abused And this was his way to laugh Did your dad catch him Kea?

He didn't like I don't know if he I don't remember if he saw. He definitely didn't see it, but he knew it was Hugo. How did he know was Hugo? And I think, I don't know. He wrote Hugo in the same car.

Hugo was here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got to ask, I got to ask my parents about that because it's one of those things that's a very vague memory. I just remember Hugo keyed my dad's car. Did you rat Hugo out? No, no. Can't.

Oh, ooh, ooh. Maybe he did. Maybe you did. I don't know. If I did. definitely the right move. Yeah. Yes, that's the right move.

You keyed my dad's car. No. Wow, you told my, you told your dad on me? It's like, yeah, you fucking keyed his car. Yeah. Okay, can I just say something about keying cars? Yeah. All right.

And you whites. And you whites. I'm sorry. Go ahead. You're outnumbered here, pal. I know, but I will stand my fucking point. Go ahead. Who cares?

Key to car. It's just so mean. Why? I key cars every day. It's fine. It what it does the car work? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. There's a door open. So you're saying you walk outside right now and someone keyed your car. Okay. All right. All right. So guys answer that question for me.

If somebody keyed my car right now, would I care? You wouldn't notice. You would never fix it. He wouldn't notice. He wouldn't know it's there. And also do I care? No. No.

His cars are always beat the shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But my theory is if it. runs, it's fine. Now, if he took an engine, let's say Hugo took the engine, right? Then I'd be like, hey, Hugo took your engine, dad. Yeah, it's a big deal.

That's a big deal. Yeah, yeah, the wheels are all gone. It's a big deal. Yeah, it's a big deal. But as long as the car moves, you can open doors, right? And everything else, a little key, that's fine. He's a car guy.

I'm a car guy. It's a big car guy. Yeah, yeah. Because the whole point of a car is to get from A to B, no? Right. Jimmy Yeah No it is

Am I making a point for you or no You are It's a valid point Can I key your car after the show I'd rather you did it Okay okay okay Yeah All right

Valid idea though Also this is why now A lot of new cars To have There's no physical key That's why they put them in like little things Or it's keyless now I have a hunting knife

You just always It's attached to your keychain Yeah it's a cat Yeah yeah I have a cling on hunting knife Thank God Yeah For a second, I thought you wouldn't be able to get taken.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, where are my keys? I do have a... He does have a knife. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I have one of those. He just carries a sigh around. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You're like, sir, you have five packs of sardines and a hunting man. And no close. Am I being detained? If a dog pooped on your driveway... Yes. That's not your dog? Yes.

Would you get angry? Well, it's funny you ask. This just happened maybe two weeks ago. Amen. Tell your story. It was your dog. I was pissed. Yeah.

My neighbor texts me, neighbor Dave, and he's like, yo, one of the neighbors just left a massive shit in your driveway. And it's like, I mean, this was a big one. And it's like. Dog must have been fasting. Right at the bottom, right at the bottom of the driveway, you know? Yeah. And so I look at the cameras and I see the girl. Oh.

I see her just let the dog take a shit. She's like on her phone, watches it happen, and then just keeps going. And I was like, for a second, my neighbor was like, he's like, you won't print that out and put it around and say, this girl's leaving shits. And I thought about it.

And then my fiance was like, definitely don't do that. And I was like, okay, I won't do that. But I was planning on if I saw her being like, you got bags on you? Mm-hmm. And if she said, yeah, I'd say, make sure you're using them. I go, come here, I got to, I got to, you help you clean something up. Yeah.

Because Bobby's been on the other side of this. Bobby has had a flyer made. Go down images. Bobby's had a flyer made. Someone in its apartment complex. Yeah, so what is it read there? Hi, I'm Bobby Lee. I have a couple of dogs.

They look like rats. And they bite. Yes. I don't clean up. I don't clean up after. of them, ever. You defecate on my property. Wow.

My property. So someone made this in his old apartment complex. No way. Yeah. Yeah. Let my dog's defecate on your property. If you feel as though I owe you money or an apology, you know where to find me. Bobby Lee. Bobby Lee. So I did not. Bobby Lee live. And then my podcast, Tiger Belly and his ex-girlfriend. And my ex-girlfriend.

And my ex-girlfriend. Yeah. The address was right there. My address was there, too. I mean, they plugged all your, all your account. It was nice. Number one. So what happened was, what, what happened was, Jimmy, is this person took flyers, put them all over the neighborhood. Yeah.

In front of cars. And guess what I did? I took the flower. I made them into t-shirts and I made money off of it. Really? Yeah. And they sold out. You made, I was going to say it's kind of a fire shirt.

Yeah, I made the t-shirts off of it. It's under Tiger Belly in my podcast, right? And this is what my belief is. right? You should be allowed what? Pooping on people's lawns. He thinks you shouldn't have to clean up dog shit. Oh. It's natural. Now you and I feel the exact same about it. Okay. So hold nothing back. Okay. Yeah, I know I don't feel the same. I feel more closely to you have a whole scene about this in Dave.

Yeah, we do a whole poop scene about that. That's exactly right. And you're mad about them putting it in your trash can. Yeah. Which also I actually, I'm like, look, if you're not, you know, If you put it in my trash can, it is what it is. I don't care about that. But don't put it in my recycling. No. That's when I get mad.

Put it in the right place. I'm like, at least put it in the black one. Yeah. You know? Put it in the black one. Put it in the black one. Always. Yeah.

Give them your shit. Interesting. Interesting stuff. This is hilarious because I'm over here thinking I had this unique idea to put this on a flyer. Like I was going to print out my security camera footage of this girl. And here are you all. I'm gonna shit on your driveway On the flyer

No I want you to take a photograph I'm gonna shit right in your fucking driveway Jimmy right Get the publicist in here Give us his address Yeah get the publicists in there At least you have like small dogs right No I'm gonna shit

Yeah but it said they're like rat like Yeah they're small They are tiny dogs One of them just died In his rat way Well yeah yeah yeah yeah Shouldn't have been shitting Yeah he was murdered

He was murdered Okay All right We can agree to disagree You had it coming? Okay, we can agree to disagree. But yeah, that exactly thing happened. I do love that.

No, it was like a Bernie's Mountain Doodle, you know, the big. Huge shit. Yeah. Huge. Yeah, mine are little ones. I got to clean them up. Takes no time. It's easy.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Okay. Well, you know, because if it's on grass, fertilizer. It's not, though. It's not. It's not how it works. Poo is not fertilizer?

Is all poo fertilizer? Not all poo. It's all poo fertilizer. So you let it poo and then you can put it poo, and then you can put it? kind of rub it in. I exactly do it. I'm a nature guy. Yeah.

Not all poop is fertilizer. Feses are rich in plant nutrients like nitrogen, phosphorus, and potassium. Raw waste contains harmful pathogens, bacteria, and parasites. This is human. No, any poop. Any poop needs to be composted, specialized. This is raw human waste.

Dogs, dogs, dogs, cats, pigs carry parasites. Post serious health risk to humans. No, I'm sorry, then. I didn't realize. That changes everything. That changes everything for me. I don't want parasites to be spread around. Yeah.

If they have it, but also it needs to be treated. You're right. You know what? Everyone listening right now, I apologize. I had a buddy that was like, he was like, yeah, like he is this massive dog. And he was like, yeah, sometimes like, I won't bring enough bags. And the dog will shit multiple times and I'll have to just like bear hand it. What?

And I was like, no, no, no, no. I'm sorry. Bare hand it. Like, there's no world where that's. Bear hand shit? He said he barehanded it. No. And I was like, that is.

Yeah, you don't bear hand it. No. And here's my excuse. I didn't have, sometimes I forget the bags. No, he forgot the bags deliberately. No, that's not true. Sometimes I have the bags. Well, now I have a backyard, Jimmy.

It's poop, it's all poo. It's all poo. Yeah. Right. And I have a pool and poo. It's a pool and poo. Yeah, yeah. I have a swimming pool and a poo.

And when my girlfriend and I go lay out in the backyard, we have to angle our chairs around the poo. Yeah. And I have fake around. ass. So you do the math. Oh. You do the math. So all this time you thought you've been fertilizing your fake bad. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I thought so. Yeah. Apparently it's fake. But everything just changed for you today.

No, not really. I don't care. This will be the same. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Literally nothing will change. Jimmy, when does your show come out? It's out. July 16th. It's out right now. So go check out Jimmy's show. Please go watch The Hawk right now. The Hawk on Netflix. Starring not only Molly Shannon and not only Luke Wilson and not only Will Ferrell, but our beloved Jimmy Tachro, one of the most funny, cool dudes that I've gotten the pleasure to know. At the very least, I want to play golf with you outside of that show.

I don't even need to be on the show. We got to go play some golf. Yeah, we should play some golf. We got to go far to round. I'll caddy. He'll caddy. I'll be the fortune keep, sir. Me him and Bryson DeShambo.

He caddied for us. Did you do that? Me and Bryson and Bobby did a little thing together. How did you? play. We just shot like a one-hole walk-and-talk thing, but we're going to do it. We're going to do with Bryson soon, right? Don't we want to do that? The breaking 50? I think so. Yeah, I'm not doing that. Yeah, come on. I'm out. Please? No. Why? I don't want to do any of that anymore. I did it one time. What's your, what's your handicap? Um, a 2.0 index. What is index? Is that

under? No index just means like, uh, it's like an aggregate. It's on the app. So, any given course, probably four or five, something like that for him. Jesus. There's something around there. That's insane. Did you have fun here? Jim? I did, yeah. Good. Please go watch this show. Right now on Netflix. Can you look at that camera, Jim, and say thank you for being a bad friend? Thank you for being a bad friend. Yay!