Bad Friends - Don't Start Fake Wars with a Fake Person

Episode Date: November 24, 2025

Get MORE Bad Friends at our Patreon!! https://www.patreon.com/c/badfriends Thank you to our Sponsors: Dominos, Displate, Rocket Money, DraftKings, Shopify • Dominos: Order now at https://dominos.com • Displate is celebrating Black Friday with the biggest discounts EVER - no better time to grab your Holiday gifts and save up to 46%! https://displate.com/l/badfriends • Rocket Money: Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to https://RocketMoney.com/BADFRIENDS today. • DraftKings: Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app NOW and use code BADFRIENDS. • Shopify: Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at https://shopify.com/badfriends YouTube Subscribe: http://bit.ly/BadFriendsYouTube Audio Subscribe: https://apple.co/31Jsvr2 Merch: http://badfriendsmerch.com 0:00 Eskimo Kisses 4:20 Predator: Badlands 10:00 Daddy Why You Die? 17:00 Carlos vs Gangsters 25:00 Missing Person 30:00 War with Howie Mandel 37:00 Don't Pester a Sleeping Man 45:00 Chat EBT 50:00 Comics Unleashed 55:00 Family Feud Round 2 1:00:00 Shreking & Dreams More Bobby Lee TigerBelly: https://www.youtube.com/tigerbelly Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bobbyleelive Twitter: https://twitter.com/bobbyleelive Tickets: https://bobbylee.live More Andrew Santino Whiskey Ginger: https://www.youtube.com/andrewsantinowhiskeyginger Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino Twitter: https://Twitter.com/cheetosantino Tickets: http://www.andrewsantino.com More Fancy SOS VHS: https://www.youtube.com/@7EQUIS Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/fancyb.1 More Bad Friends iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-friends/id1496265971 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/badfriendspod/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/badfriends_pod Official Website: http://badfriendspod.com/ Opening Credits and Branding: https://www.instagram.com/joseph_faria & https://www.instagram.com/jenna_sunday Credit Sequence Music: http://bit.ly/RocomMusic // https://www.instagram.com/rocom Character Design: https://www.instagram.com/jeffreymyles Bad Friends Mosaic Sign: https://www.instagram.com/tedmunzmosaicart Produced by: 7EQUIS https://www.7equis.com/ Podcast Producer: Andrés Rosende This video contains paid promotion. #bobbylee #andrewsantino #badfriends #sponsored #ad Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Mercy is coming to theaters January 23rd. This is the Mercy Corps powered by artificial intelligence. Detective Raven, you're charged with the murder of your wife. I'm not guilty. You have 90 minutes. To prove it. Or you will be executed. He must use the tools.

Every camera and cell phones at your disposal. To solve the mystery. Can I see my daughter's socials? You hear that? Someone was in my basement. Chris Pratt. Maybe she found something she wasn't supposed to. Rebecca Ferguson.

You must move from one piece of the puzzle to the next. No, I have something here. Oh my God. Mercy. Rated PG-13. Maybe inappropriate for children under 13. Only in theaters January 23rd. Hey, everybody, we got new merch.

And these, I mean, this is, this was a traumatic day in my life. Yeah, really well. When I fell over and I was bullied a little bit online from Andrew. No, I didn't. But this, yeah, you laugh like a hyena. But let me say something, we have it on a shirt now. And we have it on a long sleeve, on a short sleeve like that, and on this hoodie, which we absolutely love. So go to bad friendsmerch.com to grab at bad friendsmerch.com.

You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots? A white dude and an Asian dude. You two are disgusting. Oh, you two or something. We're bad friends. Oh, dear. Thank you for the familiars.

Thank you for the meal on my plate. I'm grateful to you. Thank you natives for all of the land. We gave you casino. No. Cut off your hands. Sorry about the smallpox. The things that we gave you.

The blanket was nice, but it fooled with disease. Sorry. Sorry natives. Whoops are bad. Yeah. That's Thanksgiving. Sorry. is whoopsie are bad

we really did a lot of damage and we named our sports teams after your leaders love dances with wolves I love Lester Mohicans Favorite movies of all time And Minnetonka shoes Amen Amen to that

Amen to that Yeah We love them You know, I've collaborated with some natives in my life. Yeah, you did great on that. I really enjoy the people and the culture. And we want to say thank you. We do love all of our native fans.

We do have a lot of native fans. We love Hmong. I know that's not native. Monong is not native. I understand that, but we do love them. We love the Hmong people. Yeah, the Hmong people. They're mountain people.

There isn't a group of people we don't like. Yeah. No, there's one. I, what? You stay at first. No, really? Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Okay, let me think of the thing. What group of people don't we like on the count of three? One, two, three. Eskimos. Oh. What? What did you say? Jerks.

Oh, jerks. Jerks. I said Eskimos. Oh, wow. Why don't you like Eskimos? They're snowballs. They hurt so bad because you know what they do is they. They huck them.

No, no, they make it. And then they, overnight, it freezes into an ice. baseball and they read it's very there he is come on look at how cute that guy they're the best oh that's a girl that's a girl i can't even tell yeah yeah yeah see eskimos they were ahead of the trend yeah that's a gender that is a fluid that is a fluid yeah i don't know who that is look at nose they love to kiss with the nose eskimo kisses yeah you want to do an eskimo kiss yes merry christmas merry christmas no happy thanksgiving yeah i mean how do they tongue i mean and that's it right there's no way to get Because when you're kissing, right, you can, you know, you do clothes mouth from the beginning.

You kind of figure out what their style is. And then you dart in the tongue. And sometimes you do, you know what I mean, like washing machine. Darting. Well, it's like wrestling. You got to find a way. You can't. Yeah.

How is that working out? That technique. It works. It's pretty good. Probably 10,000 times I've done it. Right? Most of them have. But with Eskimo, how do you get more, you know what I mean, intimate with it?

Well, they have said. X, bud. I'm just out of the kissing style. Oh, brother, I don't think Eskimo... Maybe they blow... Maybe they blow snot into the other hole. That's actually smart.

Yeah. It could be. Cool. I just saw Predator Badlands. Dude. That movie, dude, last night? What a movie. So good.

So good. But the movie is... Because you never watch... You never watch the movies I recommend. You never sell weapons. I couldn't. Why? No, I wasn't allowed.

Yeah, yeah. It's rated R. Yeah, but, um... I am not allowed to... Would you... Have you... What Predator Moves have you seen? The original.

That's the only one? That's the best one. Did you see Prey? No. Prey? Incredible. Same director. I've only seen the original.

You gotta watch Prey, you gotta watch this. It's incredible. You saw it? Yeah. Incredible, right? So funny. What do you think it's about? Tell me?

Predator Badland? Yeah, yeah. Well, give me a photo. Give me an image. I can tell you a story. Yeah, yeah. Very easy. You're very good at this, by the way.

This is probably one of my best quality. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, let's go to, yeah, that one, that photo. Oh, it's about immigration. Yeah, yeah, yeah, this is all about immigration. Yeah, but it's the reverse. Right. Yeah, I mean, because in this time, America's going real bad.

Yeah, it's dark. And Mexico's thriving, right? So, yeah, Mexico's in this movie. Which one is the Mexican? Fancy? Watch it? Fancy. Watch it, pal.

Yeah. And right there, you know where there are? El Paso right there. That's El Paso. Yeah, and they're trying to get into Juarez. Right. You're right. So he, to make it easier, he slices her in half. No, it just rips her body off. Yeah, yeah, in half. Well, because that's probably easier to get her across. Yeah. And her name is Karen for some reason. Yeah, why?

I don't know why, but her name is Karen. And she's like, you know what? Hey, Raoul or, yeah. That's Raoul? Yeah, yeah. Whatever your name is, this is one of her lines. you know what I mean? Yeah Like dude I'm not like climbing any Fences

Okay I'm not gonna Go in any body of water Find a way Is that L Manning Yeah she's great in it This girl is so fucking good She's so good

She's good in everything now Yeah yeah It's almost like Her career has flourished the most The last like five years Right Complete unknown She was killed in there

Unbelievable Unbelievable And who's the actor Playing the Predator? Is that Jacob Allorty again? No I've never seen him for, but he's very good at it.

So this is the problem. Look at that. Zoom in. Look at all handsome this guy is. Then they put him in that mask. Right. You don't even get to see how handsome he is. Yeah. So pick an ugly guy for that. This is my problem with Hollywood. Just let an Ogo do that. You can't give that to us. It's in a mask. Well, you have to have the body.

No, you don't. What do you mean? It's just a fucking suit. No, he's not wearing a... I mean, he's wearing like probably latex stuff onto the arms. You're telling me that's it. Let me see the full body. You can see the armor behind him. Can I give you the premise or no? It's not about immigration, I guess. Is that was wrong?

Yeah, I think you're a little wrong. I think the premise of this is, um, Predator. Okay. Be real. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it.

So predator is, um, there's a new regime taking over and he is against it. He's like the renegade. And she is, he falls in love with her. And he's trying to protect her because they're going to kill, they're going to kill her. Because she's white. They're killing off all the Karens. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The killing of the Karens.

And he loves her. And he says the only way for this to work is if I cut you in half, I'll reassemble you later. Yeah. Because they need to think you're dead. And now they're on the run. He's reassembled her and they're on the run from the regime. Pretty close. Am I close?

Nope. All right. What is it? What is it? Should I be real about it? I don't want to give any spoilers away. Well, you don't have to spoil it when you give the premise of the movie. I'll give you the premise of the movie.

Okay, so he's, you know, here's what I like about the movie, right? You never get inside in terms of the culture of whoever the predators are, right? Do you see the movie? I haven't seen it. You're talking like the original predator. Right, you just, it's just some alien who can camouflage, you know what I mean, cool weapons, and they're difficult to kill. I mean, that's permanent all the predator movies.

And now in this, you see, you know, the family dynamics. Of the predator family. Of the predator family. And it's very North Korean, I believe. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is he the young, is that young predator? Like, is he the baby of the family? He's the baby of the family.

And because he's smaller than all his brothers, right? Yes, he's dating a white girl. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, man, look, the predator can't get himself a nice. No, no, he's gay. You know, all gay minorities have, like, this white girl that's, like, sticking up for them. Oh, right. Yeah, like, yeah, the yautcha.

It's called the Yautja. Yeah. And so basically he's the run and the father is like, he needs to die because he's a shame on the family. Ah. Right. So he, the little Yautja goes, well, can I go to this planet to kill this monster that no one can kill? Because they like to hunt. Right.

And the father's like, you can't kill that. I'm afraid of it. Oh, wow. Right. And he goes to this, he goes to this planet battling. I don't know what the planet's called. And that's where the movie... That's the beginning of the film.

And she works for a corporation. She works for like Black Rock? Yes, sort of like Black Rock. But she's an, you know, an android, and she was split in half from that creature. So she's a humanoid. She's half human, half... No, she's fully android.

Oh, she's no human at all. There's no humans in the movie. Should be. A really good movie. So it's worth it, though. Yeah, can you do this? Before I can get... I want to get this off my chest,

real quick. Can you stop telling me to send me, send you my, my dead dead photos? What are you talking about? I was in Mexico with some friends. Yeah, so one in the morning, this guy calls me, he goes,

yo, he goes, send me photos of your dead, dead, dead. Send me photos for dead that, dad. I go, why? He's like, my friends want to see it. I was telling the story. I was telling the story of how this podcast was kind of birthed. and at the beginning what had happened with your dad

and how daddy while you die became a thing. Yeah. And then one of the guys was like, that's crazy though, the picture thing. And he was like, that's not real though. I was like, that's very real. Yeah. And he was like, no, I go, okay.

And I called you, I was like, will you send me a picture of your dead dad? Yeah, and they showed it to him what happened? By the way, this guy's a big star. Yeah, well, I sent it to everybody. Really? I air dropped it to all of them. They all have it now.

They're gonna blow one up and put it in their house. So when you showed it to him, what happened? That was a king of the party for a couple minutes. Yeah. Did they laugh? Everyone was shocked. It wasn't as funny as I thought it was good. Obviously.

Yeah, yeah. It's not funny. Well, the second photo of your dad is weirder because one of them is like a selfie with your dad. And the other one, your mom's crying. But you're straightforward. Yeah, yeah. No, I'm not in that photo. The second one you're in.

Yeah, but that was like a camera setup that the timer thing. So funny. And that I had to run around, which is always, you know. Imagine you set the timer. and your dad's body moves a little bit, and you're like, hold on, set it again. Yeah, yeah. But the first one I sent you is the most tragic one

because right when my dad dies, I catch my mom crying. And my brother's just like, he makes a face that he's like... Yeah, he's in shock. Yeah, he's in shock. That's Steve shock. Yeah, and it's a brutal photo. But I like that you sent it, and I appreciate you.

I needed to show everyone to... Well, you ruined whatever part of you were at, I think. Pretty hard. Yeah. It was pretty bad. Nobody liked it. No, they loved it. No, they loved it.

They thought it was funny. Yeah. Well, when I said it to the Hudson's, they didn't like it, remember? That's weird they didn't like it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was in Mexico. You got to show something fun in Mexico. We were scared in Mexico.

Right, right, right. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Walking the streets of Mexico. Yeah. Late at night, now you're getting some tacos. Mm. I love Mexico.

Is it good tacos? So good. Tell me about the tacos. Oh. And we, and beer? Beer. Beer? Beerra.

Beerra. What is that? And they were shaving it off in front of you. I was like, oh, God, dude, it was so good. Oh, I love when they do that. When they shave it. And the cheese is on tops. They cut a little slice of cheese, throw it in there.

Yeah. The guy was a fucking magician. And then the little woman next in was handmaking toteuas. Oh, dude. It's so good. I love Mexico. My mouth is watering. It's so delicious.

Yeah. Right off. What town? What town are you in? Right off the spit. That's the town? Spit Mexico. No.

Flore is it? It's called no ice. Nice? No ice. Oh, no ice. Noice. No ice Mexico. No ice.

Yeah. No ice. It was called no ice Mexico. Nice. No, we were in Cabo. You're in Cabo. Cabo is fun. Yeah, it's fun.

Cabo's so fucking rad. And it's actually, I haven't been in like a decade. Yeah. Loved. Really? Oh, dude, I love Cabo. Yeah. Although the ocean.

I've been to Tulum. Touloum's great. Yeah, yeah. You know, I'm always afraid. in foreign countries. Why? Because they're gonna steal my like organs. I don't know why I have that fear,

but like I'm gonna wake up. You look like them, they don't want you. I was gonna say something like that. No, because you know, no, no, that's not the right. No, I'm gonna argue against that. Like your liver's American has like. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, I don't know if they want your organs, man.

Like in Mexico, they would be like, hey, this guy, you know, he has the same kind of body we do. Maybe his liver will fit in Uncle Pedro's body, you know what? You know what I mean? With yours is like, this one is going to be too big for Uncle Pedro. Too big. Yeah.

It's like five times more too big. He's not going to be able to get in there. He has a lump on the side like is. Chantinos pancreas. Yeah. They don't want a tumor. Yeah, but they're not going to go. $50 like, you know, $2,000.

A couple grand. What? My liver is $50. No way. His liver's worth way more than mine. Yes. I have a bunch of alcohol running through mine. They don't know that by looking.

Well, he's got a GLP one in his though. Yeah. You've got. They'll lose weight. Yeah, yeah. Take your organs to lose weight? Yeah, there's benefits for my organs. On the black market, a human liver can be worth anywhere from 50 grand to 550,000.

That's what I'm saying. Vote down below, fans. What's our liver work? Yeah. Winner, winner, check and dinner. We have finally have a winner of the Great British Baking Show this season. I didn't see it, finish it. I have two more.

Can I guess, though? Yeah, I'm excited for the guess. It's that tall, good-looking gay guy. Interesting. You know who I'm talking about? Of course. Yeah. He's so keen.

He looks like a surfer. But I'm not going to tell you yes or no. Oh, you know. Will you want to know? It's either him or the lady that has no hair. Okay. The bald lady. She's not bald.

She's not bald. She's not bald. She's not like a Midwest dad. It could have been a fashion thing. No, no. Well, she talks about it almost every episode that she has alopecia. Oh, really? They very clear.

Here's why I don't know that. They're clear about it. Can I tell you why? I don't know that? Because you fast forward through the whole thing to get to the very end. No, I just fast forward during the judging parts. That's the most important part.

Right. So I don't know of the back story. Like, you know, they follow them back. Yeah, you're not invested in that. Yeah, I'm not invested in that. Yeah, yeah. I love it. Yeah, but anyway, is it either one of those two?

Is it? Maybe. I think so. Okay. Yeah. You're going to find out in the next two days. I might not watch it. Tell me.

It's jazz. That's great. She's awesome. Yeah, she's awesome. For the fans that are, I haven't watched it yet too bad. Well, you know, this is, I mean, it's been out for a couple. This is my test show with dating. Oh, this show?

Yeah. What do you mean? So, you know, sometimes when the first time somebody would spend the night at my house, it's a test show. Right. So I'll go, I'll go, can you watch bag off? I'm like, what is it? I go, I'm watching episodes of my favorite shows. And half or during it, sometimes I'll go, or they'll fall asleep.

And then you can't trust him. I can't do it. See, when I was dating, I always put on American History X. That was my... That was your sleep? Well, when girls would come over, I go, what do you think?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And if they really got in. Yeah. You know, then if they were into it. There's a couple of movies I would show girls when I was dating to make sure that they were kind of like... Mine's a clock of orange. That's good.

Very good. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, American Psycho, kind of like some easy watching stuff. Yeah. Stuff that's like... Yeah. Do you like that? That is really interesting when you start dating and...

girl, what do you show her first to see if she's on your wavelength of either music or film? I don't think girls like that. What? Music and film? No, it gives them the ick when guys are like, you have to watch these three things or I don't like you. Well, no, I don't like you. You don't say it. I know, but they know you're doing it. No, but it's a test.

I'm on gay Instagram. I know this. No, no, no. Here's the thing. Can I say it? All right. It's your show. Oh, okay.

Thank you. I'm a producer. All right. Damn, dude, he's Tootie Rudy. Dude, you're Tootie Rudy. You got Rudy, Tootie Fuddy. Yeah, I don't like it, dude. Or a little meanie weenie.

What's going on with you today? I'm not meanie. What happened this morning? What did you do this morning? I had a bad night. A girl texted me last night. Like, I'm never talking to you again and all this stuff. I was like, what could have happened?

Did you sleep with her? Yeah. That's probably what happened. No, she texted me sex, Y, or N, and I wrote N. And then she got really mad and two days later. Why N? Why N? Why N?

Because I was watching F, one and then after that I watched Top Gun and I didn't want to be into it. It was a great race. Yeah. No, no, no, no, the movie with Brad Pitt. Oh, I thought you're talking about F1 that just happened. No, no, no, I was watching movies and I didn't want to deal with it and then a couple days later.

Wait a minute, you could. Okay. Well, yeah, dude, I think the response is not. I've done that. The response is not end. The response is, I would love to. I can't now. No, I lied and said I was out of town and everything.

It was a whole thing. You did like my grandma died again? I said I was in Nashville partying. I made like a really. Can we go back to, um, you would again it's your show yeah yeah yeah you know I work I can tell he was

flustered though I did I I you want to know the truth I got extorted twice in the past five weeks What do you mean? Extorted By whom? Once a gangster and another a girl Tell me the gangster extortion I got a call from a gangster

And he was like Give me all this money Or I'm gonna leak all this stuff about you online And then he texted me on WhatsApp Saying they were gonna come to my house I had to call the police It was a whole thing I think McCone knows yeah

Yeah he called me Yeah, I called him. So I was like, I'd take like Xanax. I was like freaking out. It was crazy. Oh, that's terrible. Barying the fucking lead. Where the fuck is this?

The whole show. It's so real. It was too real. He didn't want to talk about it. Wait a minute. So how does somebody get your phone number? And what do they have to leak about you? Like, do you have nudes?

I think they thought I was married still. No, I don't have nudes on the internet or anything. You're even on my phone for this reason. And they threatened to leak your information. The word gangster is a little suspect. Yeah. Some troll. No.

It was like a Mexican. Was it a Nakuza? No, it was like a Mexican dude. If you don't give me a money. If a Mexican dude threatens to, like, harm you, that's a gangster. Oh, so it was a Mexican dude. You heard his voice. Yeah, he, like read me my address.

Oh, give me the voice. I'm not, I can't do the voice. Yeah, yeah. I can't. Wow. All right. So it was a guy that you actually heard his voice. Yes.

And he wouldn't let me hang up. It was all the tells of someone trying to. So you got through it, you got extorted by a gangster and then extorted by someone else. I mean, you're so extortable. A girl I went out with three years ago, texting me a couple weeks ago, with like an Apple pay request for like a couple grand. And she was like, give me this,

or I'm gonna leak gossip about you online. And I don't know what that really means. One time on Tiger Belly, I said, Black people are oily. I remember that. Yeah, you remember that? I don't even know what that means, I just said it, right? Yeah.

And so then this black lady with my direct message is like, If you don't give me this amount of money, I'm going to put this out into the world. I go, I just said it on my pot. You know me? It's already out. It's already out. Like, they're trying to use what I said already

that I said out loud against me. I'm like, it's already on the internet. Do you get Venmo requests? Oh, I do. Yeah. Yeah. You don't? You put your name on there.

I don't put my name on there. Oh, that's right. Yeah. On Venmo, you're like asking for them to ask for money. Yeah. I read their stories, though. Domino. Listen, you know what? They have stepped up their game.

Well, they got specialty pizzas. That's the big thing. Yeah, you know, it's not the old school. That's my favorite word. Specialty? Yes, dude. Or pizza? Both. You like specialty pizzas. Yeah, yeah. Here's one. This is the spicy chicken bacon ranch.

Look at that thing. That's got chicken. That's got jalapenos. That thing is so good, dude. And it's got mozzarella. 100% real mato finished off with a drizzle of buffalo sauce. You love buffalo sauce. Oh, yeah. What about this? What about this one? What about those? We had the extravaganza And I already ate a piece

It was delicious And you know what's in this dude? Pepperoni ham Love Italian sausage beef Love fresh onions Fresh green peppers Fresh mushrooms

And black olives All sandwich between two layers Of provolone And cheese made with 100% real Mozzarola dude I'll have another bite Why not Do a fold two over

Oh yeah Oh yeah Oh extravaganza Extravaganza They got the spicy Chicken Bacon Ranch The People's Pizza deluxe, that of Stravaganza, and the

Meza. The Mita pizza has all the meats you could ever... Let me guess. Pepperoni. Got it. Ham. Got it. There's no way they have Italian sausages as well. You better believe they have that and beef and it's all sandwich between two layers of provolone and cheesemaids. 100% Real mozzarella. Pizza! Pizza pizza! Pizza!

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Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're long. Yes. Yeah, yeah. My uncle Louis lost his toe. You know what I mean? and he's not living at my house, my kids haven't eaten two days.

I mean, it goes on and on. And I'll just have like a moment. Have you ever given money to a stranger like that? No. I'll have a moment and I'm like, oh, anyway, and I'll just talk about it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But they're very sad and my heart goes out to them. Well, I don't read the request.

That's insane. Okay. You start, you're going to, because at some point you might get, maybe you will get suckered into doing it. Yeah. And who knows how honest that is. Yeah.

See, to me, I remember as a kid, you know when someone's like don't give that homeless guy money he's fucking going to use it for drugs or whatever and then the old joke is like I'm going to use it for drugs or whatever you know but I always give them money because they're out there asking if you have the balls

to ask I give you some money but the internet who knows if they're fucking with you on the street it's like yeah dude you have some fucking money yeah I've had ex-girlfriends ask for money yeah what's the most of the question yeah that is well no

it's not that they ask for money they're just saying can I have money but if they say give me money or else like girls I had seen like for four months or whatever and it's like and they just they're just out you know it's tough out there and that I can't say no no what's the most amount of money you've given something

oh they're not much like you know I mean like an electrical bill oh yeah yeah that's actually clever I'll pay your bill yeah I pay your bill instead of give you cash no I get Venmo whatever the electrical bill is I don't give them they're not using that for the electrical whatever they're Whatever the thing is.

Sure. Yeah, yeah. By the way, electrical bill is such a random. Do you pay my trash water and power? Yeah. Remember, I gave you head one time. You owe me trash water power. So you've never loaned a stranger money?

I don't loan friends money either. You don't? No, what I will do is give you money. It's not a loan. I refuse. And I learned this years ago from an older gentleman who said, don't ever loan people money. You either give it to them or you don't.

Right. It does not. We'll not come back. It should not come back. It does not exist. Yeah. So do not loan. It'll ruin a friendship. It will. Yeah. I would give a friend money before I'd ever be like, I want it back. Yeah. You get one, though. No, you get one. Yeah, you get one. Better be good.

Yeah, it better be a good one. Yeah, yeah. Or I get people work. That's, if somebody says to me, I need money, I'll get them a job. I'll find them a job to get them money. Yeah. Because then it's easier to go, how about I cook you up with something that I'll give you money. Yeah. You know what I mean? I just did. I did a get. I didn't want to fucking do

just so someone else would get paid. I had this girl. It's too dark, though. I can't. Give it. Give it, please. There was this girl that I met 25 years ago

and she's very hot. But she's like, I need money to, I need money. I don't have any money. I go, you can clean my apartment. So she would, once a week, twice a week

come over to clean my apartment. Oh, no. What? And you hooked up with her? Yeah. This is the Seinfeld episode. Yeah. Then I, you know,

one day I was taking a nap while she was cleaning and then I wake up and she's literally in my bed and I'm like oh my god this is amazing and then we started seeing each other and then months later she disappears stop cleaning huh? What? Stop cleaning. What do I mean? When she started

sucking she stopped cleaning. Yeah yeah and then a place was a mess and then I would get calls for her mom like have you seen this person? Are you being serious? I'm being serious she went missing? She went missing she cleaned herself out of existence You weren't a suspect? What? You weren't No. Key suspect.

No. Yeah. I mean. And then months after that, I get a call and they found her in an abandoned house. I'm not kidding you. In a bathtub completely naked with heroin holes all of her arm. And she had OD'd. How dirty was your house? She'd rather do heroin than clean your fucking house. Yeah, yeah. She'd rather... Damn. You know Polly's like pretending. to be mad at us. I know this whole bit.

It's bullshit. You should pretend like you're fucking mad at the guy. No, I'm not mad at them. You don't want to start a false war with a false person. That's an old proverb my grandfather used to sell me.

Never start a war with a fake person. Fake person, yeah, yeah. Never start a fake war with a fake person. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That should be on everyone's wall. That's right next to live, laugh, love. So everyone listening, Polly's trying to start a fake war with us.

There's no tension. Okay. When we see, no, This is the game we play. No, it's fine. I thought you wanted to play. No, we're not playing the game. All right, go ahead.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You never play with it. Now this will start a real war with Polly. He'll be mad that you did this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So here's the deal, okay. I don't know what he's trying to do, but he's trying to start something.

We're not even aware of it. We don't, whenever we see him, it's all hugs and kisses. He's taking a note from the book of Howie Mandel. Oh, Howie Mandel. It's how he loves this kind of bullshit. Exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He loves it.

Yeah. And then Mandel, the last time I saw him like four days ago, apologized profusely for the, remember him waking me up incident? Oh, yeah. We talked about that, right? Did we never talk about it on the show? No.

Oh, I'll tell everyone this is what happened. This is my war with Howie Mandel. This is real. Well, it's not a war anymore. Inside still a little. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I did this movie.

You know, and it was like all the scenes are with me and Howie. A lot of people are in it, but, and so... This is Jim's movie, no? No. No, not karate ghost. It's not karate ghost, no. I'm so excited for that to come out. Same.

Steve Howie's in it. All right, he goes. Where are you going? Oh, good. Please. Stop! Show yourself! All right, all right.

Show yourself. Did you feel that? All right. Go ahead. Anyway, and so we're both chefs in this movie. Anyway, so we're working all day. We're on every fucking scene. And also, it was two days of, you know,

will you stop what the karate goes, man? look happy on set. Did you hear something? That's a spoiler, man. Stop that. Take it down. So, two days straight, like five in the morning

call time and also me and highway in every scene. Yeah. And it's like we would wrap like at midnight. It was fucking tough. So one, the next day, we did like five scenes in a row all day, which I'm not complaining. That's how movies are.

It's just long days. They're long days. And finally, somebody goes, listen, you're not in the next couple of scenes so you can rest. And I was like, whenever they say that, I'm like, yes. I love that. So in this studio that we're at,

there's like this corner of this studio where it's kind of away from everything. And there's like this long couch, right? And I'm like, yeah. And it's completely dark kind of too. So I'm like, I was eyeing it all day. I was like, that's where I'm going to take my nap. Right?

So I, you know, I curl up. and I fall asleep, completely asleep. About 20 minutes later, I feel something in my ear. Okay? And I'm like, you know, you know, trying to... Wax. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I kind of look up, and there is a 90-year-old background actress.

Mm-hmm. All right? She has her bony, white finger inside my ear, dude. And I go, what the fuck? Right? And I look at her. And then I look beyond her. And there's Howie Mendel with a camera shooting it.

It's funny. It's funny. It's insane, but it's very funny. Right. Yeah. But it's not okay. It's not okay. But it's very funny. So I kind of get up.

I go, lady, get the fuck out of here. Right? That's not what you said to her. What did I say? Because you called me. You said, who the fuck? Who are you? Yeah, yeah.

You were like, who the fuck are you? And how he starts laughing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And she turns to him to, like, validate. Validate that to use his fault. Yeah. Right. And so I look at Howie and I go, dude, don't do that again, man.

What the fuck are you doing? It's insane. He said, we're having fun. We're not laughing. You know what I mean? Just a bit. Right. So they all leave.

Yep. I go back to sleep. Right? Then I feel, right, my hand is wet. and it's in warm water okay it's in warm water right and then I open my eyes

Howie Mendel has my hand in a bucket of warm water because he was trying to get me to pee yes in my sleep yes and I went ape shit

I went fucking nuclear on him it's very funny I'm sorry yeah I go fuck out I'm never working with you again I went snap because I was so tired right and you know what I mean

And I just had reached my breaking pop. I blew up on Howie. To the point where in the next scene, the director had to come up to us and go, hey, you guys okay because this isn't working. Right. Like, you guys have to amend this. You sent me a photo and you look fucking super pissed. I was fucking livid.

There's a photo of him with Howie. I don't know if you can find it. Howie behind him. He didn't post it. Oh. He's got it in his phone. He sent me a picture of him and Howie and he looks. so funny

and Howie's like smiling and Bobby is so fucking mad I'm so mad dude it was hilarious I'm sorry to laugh yeah it's fucking hilarious that last scene with him took forever and the director keep coming out guys come on I'm like fuck this guy

let me just say this too okay it's disappointing because as a kid growing up Bobby's world I was a huge I still love him deeply yeah but I'm a huge

Howie Mendel fan. I can't even believe that he calls me and stuff. Like it, you know, sometimes you know, you've been fans of somebody and then now they call you. Yeah. And you're just in awe of it like, oh my God, I can't fucking believe. Yeah. Someone so-and-so knows me. Yeah, it's shocking.

It's shocking, right? You have all that in play, right? But then, you know, once, that just goes out the window. And now he's just some old dude fucking with you. You know what I mean? You're right? And it got to the point where after we wrapped, you know how they go, if people don't know,

if it's your last scene in the movie, the director goes, all right, that was Bobby's last scene. Rap on Bobby and everyone claps. I fucking hate it. I hate it too, right? So they do it, but I grab my shit. I don't say anything to anybody. I just head right out the thing,

get in my car and I fucking drive away. The crew loved it. They hated it. I was really fucked. But you weren't being mean of the crew. No, I was just so livid. And then, you know, the repeated text. So finally I ran into Howie.

He goes, hey man, I owe you dinner. I go, we're good. We're good. I don't want to have dinner with you. You're going to crazy old lady and she's going to fucking throw food at me in the middle of it. I mean, what would you have done? I mean, I'm much more temperamental than you. That would have fucking, look, the first one I'd have been like, ha, ha, ha.

Yeah. Then the second one, I would have been like, okay, I'm going to fucking get you back bad. I'm going to get you back fucking bad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I mean, I probably would have smeared poop in his trailer. Something fun like that. But you, right? I'm not.

Oh, I would have loaded up. Yeah. You got mad and left. I would have loaded up. I would have been preparing during the day. How can I fucking, you know, can I, can I slash his tires? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Can I really take it to it to the next level that it shouldn't go to? Yeah, I went, yeah, I mean, so it wasn't inappropriate my feelings. No, it was, it was, it was disrespectful of how you, also, you don't, you know, there's an old rule, old world rule. You know the old world rule. Tell me. You don't, you don't, you don't pester a sleeping man. I've heard that from my grandfather. Do not.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't pester a sleeping man. You don't pester a sleeping man. You don't start fake wars with a fake person. And more importantly, you don't pester a sleeping man. You don't pester a sleeping man. Yeah, you don't.

People are vulnerable when they're sleeping. You don't do that. You want to fuck with me, I better be awake. Also, it's not, it's not, I was fatigued. You're tired from the show. Yeah, I was running on two hours of sleep. I was like, fatigued. Yeah.

Yeah. A 70-year-old man is playing those games is so funny. That's why it's funny. That's why Howie's a funny guy. He's a funny guy. Because he will fuck with you. But this beef that is being had right now with you and Polly, it's fake.

You don't like it. It's not that I don't like it. It's just that because when I see him, it's like, dude, and we hug and all that stuff, right? Yeah, you love him. I love him. But like, you're trying to start this thing I've seen online. I don't know anything about it. I got a miscall from him, though.

Probably this. Yeah, yeah. But he told him. me he was like but we're not gonna bite I you're not but I was kind of willing to have fun with it

but yeah I like that you're like fuck that don't you think this is the best route it's the one that you want to take so I'll be on there with you yeah yeah yeah what's the route that you wanted to take I want to see a little fake war between you guys

but it was with you too nah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah it was bad friends it wasn't just me I know but he came up to me in the parking lot and was like I think we should do something me and Bobby

yeah mad at him no I was like you're not Not mad at him. That's something that he would say mad that way. Yeah. Mad. Mad.

Yeah. Yeah. No, I didn't, I did, I didn't know if he had talked to you about it. That's why I was curious. No, he was, he's been, um, sweetie, sweetie, sweetie. Yeah. He's one of the sweetest guy. Yeah, yeah.

But, um, yeah, I'm not doing, I'll do, I'll do a war with Howie. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But he would, this is what he wants, though. That's the thing with Howie's mentality. You know what I mean?

He thrives onto the shit. He does. Yeah. I'm not biting. No, Bill Burr, Billy Corgan thing was he was love in every minute of that. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, I did too. I thought that was fascinating. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was brilliant. But I love to see Bill Matt. That's what he's the best at. He's the best at. And Billy Corgan.

Yeah. Yeah. He was sheepish in that. Well, it was little. He was like, oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know. It was a little unnerving. It was unnerving, yeah.

The whole thing was a little shape. But, yeah, Howie, we're good. We're good. We're good. We're good. Yeah. You've never been mad on a set No one's ever fucked you

Like pissed you off I made so many people mad I had the last season of Dave I had an unfortunate A moment It wasn't just me Yeah The director

I love this The director Tell me tell me I wouldn't mention her name or anything But We were shooting a scene outside We were like out in the countryside And it was like a

Crazy fucking morning Like nothing was set up right It was kind of whack ado. And there's a lot of moving pieces, but it was also like a huge wide for people at home that want to know. Usually shoot it wide. And then you come in close. It depends on the director's style. But a lot of times you get this big fuck off wide.

You get to warm up. And then you get really down to the nitty gritty. You get really micro. Anyway, we're shooting this huge fucking wide. And we're like walking through. And I'm like, we're walking through. And then we go behind this bus that we're on. And then we kind of are chilling.

But it's me and a few of the castmates. And so we're kind of fucking through the scene because you're never going to use that. out for more than a quarter of a tenth of a second. Yeah. So then we go around the bus and we're all chatting. And she fucking loses it. We can fucking hear you. This is the third fucking time.

You guys are talking through the fucking day. And you're not even like a bunch of children. When she called us children, that's when I was like, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Yeah. I was like, I love it. I love it. I was like, you're crazy out of pocket. Yeah.

I'm a fucking adult male. You don't talk to anybody like that. She was losing her cool. And also because the episode was kind of not the way they wanted it to go. And I was like, this isn't our fault. She was, so then me, I'm not naming people, and the two other castmates were like, you got it. You got it. Then the rest of that scene was even harder for her because I was giving nothing.

You're pissed. I was like, oh, you think that's, oh, you think that's annoying? Wait too soon. We do in the next fuck when you get tighter. Yeah. Just wait. We'll do 30 of them now. Wow.

You treat me like a fucking kid. That's crazy. I'm a grown up. Just be like, hey, you guys, we can hear you. She lost her fucking cool. And subsequently, you know, haven't heard from her in a while.

I don't think she's getting on the line. Yeah. She lost her cool. And the whole crew was like, what the fuck was that? Like the whole crew was like, because what you do is you bring down the energy of the thing. It was like, why are you doing that?

Then you're, because all the crew guys are like, you know, like the sound guy was like, Yeah. Like, what's that about? Yeah. So then everyone's in a weird mood.

Like, why are you being that way? You're just blowing up on people because you're upset about something. So. But can you do what Daniel Day Kim does? Be Asian. No, no, no, no. Daniel Day Kim told me about he was on a set once where the director was the first day and goes, Hey, man, you're 30 minutes late!

Screams at him. Yeah. But he wasn't late. He was on time. Yeah. So Daniel pulled him aside and he go, hey man, don't talk to me like that. I love that. Yeah.

Why can't we do that? I'm not Daniel Day Kim. Oh, that's right. Yeah. Oh, that's right. Yeah, you can, though. You're Andrew Santino. No.

What? What's going on here? What's up, dude? Who are you, dude? Damn, dude, you ordered that, man. Yeah. Take a seat. You want to sit down or?

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Mr. Bob. That's Bobby Lee. Bobby Lee, yeah. Yes, what's your name? Get comfortable, man. Thanks. What's your name? Zach Townsend.

You're a great comment. What's the idea? What's going on? He's a great comment. I got a business idea for you guys, though. Okay. Can I pitch it to you? Yeah. This is going to get me out of the hole.

Okay. Chat EBT. Okay. I love it. Before you... Yeah, yeah. It's not what you're probably thinking... Yeah, yeah.

This is, I know exactly what it is. It's chat GBT for black people. Yeah? How does that work? So basically you like ask Well it doesn't work It could be working That's why Snap got taken away

It's not working right now But it basically you axed it a question And then it just says Oh hell no Oh I see It's a really good idea That's a great idea Is it AI or Alan Iverson?

Yeah Alan Iverson Is that one Wow, you got them. Yeah, we got it all. A deal with them. Okay, good. You want a piece of pizza?

It looks like you got a lot there. Yeah. Too many boxes, maybe? It's probably blocking your face. Can I see one? Just put it off to the side. This is my favorite part. I knew he was going to look at one right away.

Yeah, well, there's more in there. There's different kinds. I like this kind. I have some pepperoni if you want some. Uh-uh. I've seen that movie before. I'm not, I'm not biting. Ladies and gentlemen,

Bad Friends Family. Bad Friends Family, this is our good friend, Zach Townsend. great comedian. Great stand-up. Who opened for me for a little while. What happened? Wait, yeah, wait, what happened? He started closing.

Oh, you're a headliner. That's a headliner. Yeah. Can't open anymore when you're closing. You know your people to run those stores, right? You can't close if it's open. You can't open if it's closed. Exactly.

Yeah. Zach is a phenomenal comic Nashville. Although. It is a good excuse. If you don't want somebody to open for you, you pull them inside. Your headliner. Yeah, this is the first I'm here I thought I was still opening

This pizza thing was a bit But I think this might actually have to go back Well I figured you're gonna go hungry for a little while So I was like to give that man some pizzas Who opens for you now? Anybody but Zach Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay I heard Catbird got a little thing from you

Catbird, we did take down Catbird was awesome Yeah, we did. Oh, you did Braya last weekend? Idiot. Yeah, we did. Oh, yeah. Yeah, we did Braya and I took Catbird

and Zach. And Zach came with Zach. How was Kat? Zach, yeah, Zach, yeah. ZAC, what? ZAC, yeah. I got to change your contact in my phone. Zach and Kat went down.

Then Devontre Coleman comes with me when he can, when he's not, you know, blowing up this guy. Yeah. This guy just came from, tell him what you just did. I just did. Come on, tell it to him the way you told me. I just did, no, I just did comics unleashed. Why are you laughing?

I'd rather work at Domino. Wow. I was, Byron. Comics unleashed for people that don't know. It's a comedic institution. It's been around for it. It's got to be 20 years. I mean, right? How long has it been on TV?

All for a while. Ever. I mean, genuinely, look it up how long has it been on. But Byron Allen has been running this show. It's a roundtable of comics on couches. And you know, you pitch your jokes and you get to run your bits. It's been on for 19 years. I was right there.

Who was on it with you today? It was Guy Tori from American history. I love Guy. He's great. He's an old. old friend of mine. Good friend. Yeah.

I actually open for him a couple times in Nashville. Maybe you can open for him again because I'm done with you. Who else? And then two other people I don't remember their names, but they're nice.

No, they're nice. You don't know their names, really? I really don't know that. One of them was like Lori something. Then the other guy was he had gray hair. I remember that. Oh, gray hair.

Yeah, gray hair. Yeah, gray hair. Wait, didn't Kat film with you? Wasn't she going to film? We all did different ones, but she's filming today, I'm pretty sure. Those guys, you know, they do, did you ever do comics Unleashed?

I've been asked I never did it I can't with you and I were Bob didn't have enough We're the only headliners that have never done I didn't have enough what? No, nothing No say it

Say it I said Bob didn't have enough bits To do it Ooh I was just joking Dude The look of anger With a little bit of pizza

on your mouth Fucking perfect You know can't be honest Hit him hard I don't give a shit He's not mine That hit me so hard Dude

Yeah Like it's a destroyer of friends Well, why don't you go on comics and let him prove him wrong? Right. You can prove him wrong. Good one. Why didn't you do it?

I didn't feel, that's not a format for me. Me either. Me either, if I'm being honest. There was never a point in my career that I thought I was going to be good on that show. Yes, I never did Layton. I only did Conan. Conan was the only one I wanted to do

because I loved Conan. And I always wanted to do Letterman, but by the time I had the balls put together, letterman was gone and so Conan was my hero I wanted to con I got on Conan and they were like why don't you want to do other late night I was like how much more shit are you gonna fucking open how much more fucking shit are you gonna open we have one more we do have one more let's hear it it's yours yeah thank you right in the mic god these guys this is how unprofessional the show is they don't know to turn their mic down when they're doing some

dumb shit like that. McCone. But he'll do that for you. He'll come running like a little pipsqueak that he is. Get, go. Get gone. Get gone. God, I love that.

He's the best. He is my favorite. No, but I only wanted to do Conan. And then when they asked, do the other ones, I thought, I'm going to bomb on that show. Did you bomb? Oh, yeah. Yeah, I ate a hard. I was telling McCone outside.

I did like three black shows. I did like three black. I'm surprised even let me do them. Do them? Here, let me hear him. Well, give me the premise. Do I know? Because do you know.

Yeah, I did. Well, the one that you know that you like, we were the only ones who know how to whisper. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then him and Guy Tori were like, I think, I don't think they, like, got offended, but they were like, I made a joke about, like I said, I have a lot of black friends

you could tell by my shoes. And after the joke, they were like, man, you really got, that ain't black people of friends shoes, you know? Yeah, it is. They upped on me. They upped on me. They upped.

Yeah. By the way, no white guy that wears Air Force One's, every white guy that wears Air Force 1 is friends with black people it's almost a requirement when you buy them at Foot Locker they're like let me see your phone and you gotta show them how many black friends you have and your phone's dead

and you're like can I charge my phone they're like you definitely get black friends what is that cricket you good why did you do it because I'm just trying to say yes to a lot of things oh that's good yeah because Zach is a great comic and he needs more credits and the internet now is fucking flooded with a billion comics doing

every clip and then he needs to fucking be part of the system like everything else. This is a credit, right? It's a huge credit. We're going to cut you out of those, I think. No, no, no. Yeah, fancy. No bits. I was kidding. I'm a huge fan. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wait, give me, give me the other jokes you told. Do it, do it, just so we can hear them. Oh, I did, I said one about, like, I think true crime, like, you know, because it has to be clean, too, so it can't be as good as, but I said, like, you know, I think white crimes get investigated a little bit harder than black crimes, you know, just based off the names they name these things like a white woman will go missing and they'll they'll call it like

the 12 year disappearance of sarah and like a black guy gets murdered and they're just like the first 48 hours you know that's a great they wrap it up quick yeah yeah he liked that one byron like that one yeah yeah but yeah he didn't like the black people do the other one i said i talked to one of my black friends was telling me i always chat ebt i'm like this is all i'm just doing i'm like nick de paolo now yeah do it do it nick um I said, I have a lot of black friends. If you can't tell about my black friend told me the other day, he said, I don't trust white people

because they're always telling secrets. And I was like, I don't agree with that statement at all. You know, I just think we're the only race that knows how to whisper. It's a fantastic joke. And they pushed back on that. No, I mean, he just kind of like, they were kind of going after my shoes

and it felt like maybe that one. Did you fire back at all? A little bit. Yeah. I said it. You said the end. No, no. No, no. I said stop.

Stop, guys. Are you nervous? A little bit. It's not, it wasn't as nerve as says I thought I was going to be. Yeah. Well, no, because you, I mean, at some point, you know you got the, if you have all the weapons, you're like, well, I'm just going to swing and then hopefully they hit. And it's a live audience?

Yeah, yeah. Are they alive? I don't know. I was like looking at someone. I'm like, some of these people might be AI for real. Like, they're. It's probably a lot of tweakers. The reason why I don't like these types of shows is that it's so, it's not organic, right?

It's like, you mean, what are you going to say so I can lead up to it? So the conversation is so fake. Yeah, but that's every prompt on late night. They do the same thing. They prompt you. Well, that's why I've never done them. I just can't do it. Right.

It's an old format. Yeah. But it's a car, Carson did it. It was the way that fucking Carson set up his show too. I mean, there was way more improv back then. But also there's a lot of dead air. If you watch old Carson, there's an awful lot of fucking dead air, wouldn't fly today. Yeah.

Like, you know, there's moments. gaps where you're like, ooh, this is like valuable TV time. Yeah. But they need the prompts to keep the thing moving. I mean, Byron Allen, this guy, talk about proving all those conspiracy theories wrong. He bought the weather, right? Yeah. He bought the weather. The Jays can, yeah, the Jays

control it, but he bought it. Yeah. They must have some sort of mutual agreement, right? He distributes, the Jays. Right. The Jays own it, but he distributes it. Wow. Okay, Byron, next week it's going to rain. It's my company. I can it rain if I want to.

He acquired the Weather Channel. Byron Allen bought the Weather Channel a $300 million deal in 2018. Wow. And by the way, this guy's got $300 million to buy the fucking Weather Channel. He paid this guy like $48 to go on TV today. Wow. What do they give you for those? What do they give you for those live shows?

There's a couple hundred bucks. It wasn't a thousand, but it wasn't it wasn't 500. Even my, we're at my house. Even my wife is like $200. You can't, that's what they give you. I was like, TV's dead. They're killing everyone. They're not giving anyone any money to do you.

I'm not even sure what it is. I don't even, the comics Unleash might be on the weather channel. I don't know. I don't even know. They didn't tell me like what network it's going to. It runs side by side with a fucking a doppel game. A Doppler alert.

That's nice though. That's nice that you got that under your belt. That's first literal TV credit. First literal TV credit. Give it up for the boy. Come on. Bobby's still fuming from the bits. Oh no.

Yeah, just tell them you are. Tell them you hate it. Yeah, I love it. He always tries to hit me whenever I. No, you. No. I'll give you gentle touches.

Yeah, on the pee. On the pee. No, the other night when I saw you at the store, I did side gentle touches on your side. No? Yeah, but you're always, I don't you're squirrel. In your mind, you think that I'm going to do something nefarious. I think you're really strong.

Yeah. I am very strong. I know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's got that strength. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, but if we've always... One extra chromosome.

Yeah, yeah. But... And I... Dude. I will defeat all of you with a one. And then fight the those. You don't need to star the karate ghost. The peanut butter franquin.

Hey, good. I like it. Peanut butter feld. Yeah. Who books the, how'd you get the show? On my management. Facebook. Oh.

Answer an ad on fucking Facebook. They just put you on that thing. Yeah. You got bits. We should do it. What? We should do it together. There's no way.

Why? I don't want to do it. It would be fun. We could make the request. It would have to be just me, you, and Byron. And they would, why would they not do that? That'd be so funny. That would be awesome.

You were doing like family feud style and get like two more like bad friend and just do all four of you. I think that'd be fun. Yeah. You can do all you guys. Don't bring up family feud. We lost a flavor for you. To this day. If you were asked to do family feud.

Right? We did it. No, but it was my family. Oh, well, rub it in. No, but no, but they're going to ask you, Santino, right? Would I be a part of your five? No. You know how mad at me if I wasn't the buff one? He wants to win.

Well, you didn't get many answers right. I'm going for skill. Tactics. Who would be on your family? Dude, imagine who would they put me up against, by the way? They put you up against flavor, flame. So they're doing like who they think. That's right. What is it about?

I'm Asian flavor, Flav. Dude, they're in the meeting room. They're like, all right, check it out. Yeah, yeah. Who's Bobby Lee's perfect counterpart? Who's like, who's like a black Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah. They're like, flavor, flake. Yeah.

Who would I have as my family? It would be me, you, my sister. My wife, my mom or my dad wouldn't want to do it. Maybe my dad. My sister, definitely. Me, you, my sister. Yeah. Who would be really good.

I'd be tactical. You weren't tactical. What do you mean? I chose the wrong person. Esther. Me, you, my sister. Raul, my landscaper. That'd be funny.

He's fucking amazing. He's so funny. That'd be so funny. Raul and Brian Holtsman. Just because I feel like him and Steve would have a battle. Yeah, yeah. Holtzman would be funny. Hilarious.

Yeah, yeah. It would be so funny to watch him. scream at Steve Harvey. I mean, they would fucking hate each other. That's like two opposite energies. Yeah. I would, next time I do it, if I ever do it, I would choose the team that would win.

Yeah, we will. We'll get a little team together. No, they're never going to ask me. I'm with you. I'm your plus one. They don't want me. They don't want me. Please ask them.

Because I need redemption. I'd rather go on Wheel of Fortune. Oh, I'd be bad at that game. What? You guess letters. I'm not good at it. Fucking easiest game. It's not jeopardy.

Yeah. We got one more day here in Los Angeles. We sent him around. We did almost everything with the boy. Yeah. Then he goes back to Nashville to his girlfriend who he loves. Yeah. Just got himself a new house. Yeah. It's incredible. Thanks, Bob. Amazing. You did it. You helped. Oh. Yeah. I extorted money from you. Arlos. I'm the Mexican gangster. Oh, I see. Yeah. You better buy my opener a fucking house. And your girlfriend lives with you? Yeah. I would hope so. They bought a house together. Oh, together. She's paying for some of the mortgage. Yeah, oh yeah, that's why we're doing it. This is a life partner. Yeah, probably. Yeah. Unless, yeah.

I mean, how long have you'd been dating? Unless she finds out what I did in my comics unleashed trailer. But how long, I mean, how long had you been dating with her for? Like three years. Oh, okay, that's a good enough time. Yeah, she's red. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's very good looking.

She's cool. She's smart. She's way better than Zach. It's one of those things where it's annoying when you're like, oh, the partner is more superior. But, and then you sometimes wonder, is he holding her hostage? Yeah, he's Shrecken You're Shrekkin. Wait, what?

Yeah, you're Shrekkin hard. A new slang. A new slang term for the dating trend of intentionally dating someone you consider to be less attractive than yourself. I hope that they'll treat you better. Yeah, that's pretty spot on. That's actually like, that's almost like whoever made this knows me and my girlfriend. So what's your dream here? What do you want on of this business?

I want to... I want him out of business. What is it? Just to be as successful as you guys, really. Yeah. Never! Yeah, shoot for the moon, right? Is that a shot?

He does this all the time. Let me tell you something, pal. Let me tell you something, pal. We have your replacement. We casted him. The fans answered. He was a hit. He was a hit.

Was he not a hit? Yes. Yeah, yeah. And he's a hit and you're a what? What? You're a lump. A miss. A miss.

Yeah. No, you're ahead. I love you. I love you. Stop, stop, stop. It goes bumping the night. Karate ghost coming this fall. Do we know when it comes out?

No, I don't know. Do Karate Ghost release date. Wait, what is this? He's in a movie called Karate Ghost. It's going to be awesome. January 31st, 2023, it already came out. You filmed it after it came out. That's how good the movie looked.

It came out. Was there another karate ghost? How? How on fucking earth is there more than one of them? We did the remake? Here's the one you're in with Belushi. Set in a town ruled by an absurd karate law. The film watches a lonely teen form an unlikely bomb with a ghost of his late father's

favorite action hero. Yeah. Are you, you're just a local. You're not one of the, are you the ghost? No, no, no. I play a sensei. And that's why. Yeah, I know.

And that's why, the question you just asked me five minutes ago. Yeah. Who was it? Daniel Day Kim. Yeah. That's why we are not Daniel Day Kim. I know. Because you played a sensei.

I know. And I'm in the magic movie for four heartbeats. Yeah. They make me disappear. Yeah. Zach, close out the show by saying thanks for being a bad friend into your camera. Thanks for being a bad friend. everybody.

Duh. That was terrible. Hey, everybody. Thanks for being a bad friend.