Bad Friends - Drama Dinner w/ Jake Shane

Episode Date: May 18, 2026

Get MORE Bad Friends at our Patreon!! https://www.patreon.com/c/badfriends Thank you to our Sponsors: Ultra, ZBiotics, Hims & Shopify • Ultra: Don't sleep on @ultrapouches. New customers get 15% Off with code BADFRIENDS at https://takeultra.com! #UltraPouches #ad • ZBiotics: Go to https://zbiotics.com/BADFRIENDS and use BADFRIENDS at checkout for 15% off any first time orders of ZBiotics probiotics. • Hims: For simple, online access to personalized and affordable care for Hair Loss, Weight Loss, and more, visit https://Hims.com/BADFRIENDS. • Shopify: Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial and start selling today at https://shopify.com/badfriends YouTube Subscribe: http://bit.ly/BadFriendsYouTube Audio Subscribe: https://apple.co/31Jsvr2 Merch: http://badfriendsmerch.com 0:00 Drama Dinner5:00 Millennial Cringe13:00 Didgeridoo Pocket17:00 Stingrays & Wild Boars25:00 Gay Neighborhoods30:00 Carlos Gets New Hair35:00 Bears & Cubs42:00 Long Legs, Small Torso47:00 Bobby Learns the Boroughs51:00 Geminis Don't Cry55:30 Year of the Pig1:01:00 The Strokes & Carlos Bible1:06:00 Finding My Type More Bobby Lee TigerBelly: https://www.youtube.com/tigerbelly Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bobbyleelive Twitter: https://twitter.com/bobbyleelive Tickets: https://bobbylee.live More Andrew Santino Whiskey Ginger: https://www.youtube.com/andrewsantinowhiskeyginger Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino Twitter: https://Twitter.com/cheetosantino Tickets: http://www.andrewsantino.com More Fancy SOS VHS: https://www.youtube.com/@7EQUIS Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/fancyb.1 More Bad Friends iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-friends/id1496265971 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/badfriendspod/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/badfriends_pod Official Website: http://badfriendspod.com/ Opening Credits and Branding: https://www.instagram.com/joseph_faria & https://www.instagram.com/jenna_sunday Credit Sequence Music: http://bit.ly/RocomMusic // https://www.instagram.com/rocom Character Design: https://www.instagram.com/jeffreymyles Bad Friends Mosaic Sign: https://www.instagram.com/tedmunzmosaicart Produced by: 7EQUIS https://www.7equis.com/ Podcast Producer: Andrés Rosende This video contains paid promotion. #bobbylee #andrewsantino #badfriends #sponsored #ad Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey, what's up, bad friends? I'm coming to San Diego. Bobby's hometown on June 28th. I'll be there. Two shows in Delmar, bro. Come out, Delmar and San Diego, June 28th. Two shows at the sound. Beautiful sound in Delmar. And then July 24th, I'm in St. Charles, Missouri. Very close, if not the same place, basically, St. Louis, Missouri. Their next door neighbors come out and see me July 24th.

And June 28th, come see me in San Diego. Andrew Santino.com for those tickets. Andrew Santino.com. You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots. A white dude I'm an Asian dude You two are disgusting

A you two or something We're bad friends Bad, mad TV Okay And then It's called sugar high bakery Shout out to them In Michigan

They came to my show There's no marijuana in it What? I made sure there's no weed in those There's no weed in it Frankenmuth Michigan Yeah This is good

A little bad friend cookie And then here it's me and my little prince Yeah Yep. Do you hear about the prank I pulled out on Carlos? No. What was it?

What was it? You don't remember the prank? No, what was that? Okay, so we're flying into... Oh, God. This is like a security risk. It's a security prank. Okay.

Like to hear it? Yeah. Okay. So we're flying into... We're hour late. So we're on the tarmac in L.A. Don't you hate when that happens? This is the worst airport in the United States.

That's why we got to get... Out of here. Spencer Pratt. In there. In there. Anyway, we're at the L.EX on the tarmac. 90 minutes. 90 minutes, hour and a half.

Now, we're flying to Detroit, am I right? Okay. Correcto. So, correcto to you. And very good, dude. And I... Really good, Carlos. So, you know, we have dinner reservations.

You know how daddy gets when I can't have my dinner reservations. What do you mean? The pilot didn't know you guys had a dinner reservation? Did not know, dude. What's his problem? I don't know, dude. Let's go! Let's go!

Let's go! Right? So when we land in Detroit, we have to get going. Now, people have to make their connections. So you know what they say? You know what they say. What do they say? No, no, no, what they say is,

for those, if this is your, you know what I mean, destination, you sit while all the people get up. Never works. But they did it. Never. People sat? Yeah, people sat, right? Wow.

But then I texted Carlos. I go, because he's in the back. So I touched the Carlos. Well, the middle. Yeah, yeah, middle. I put him in first class when we fly. No, not me. And I texted Carlisko,

pretend that you have a connection. Right? So everyone's sitting and he's rushing up, right? And saying, no, I have a connection. I have a connection, right? And he gets to the front. And then what do I do? He doesn't have a connection.

He's lying. Is what he's going. You call them out? It's so fun. So I, he made me get mad. So I yelled back. at him. I love that.

Do you love that? I knew you would love it. God, that's funny. Yeah, I didn't for you, dude. That's a good one. Yeah, it's a good one, right? He's lying, I know him. That's Carlos Herrera.

And then he stood by the door waiting for me. So he let everyone, and now the flight attendants are looking at him like, this guy's a liar. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And then he, but I texted all the, my openers is why two openers. Who'd you bring? You bought cat and who else? Ramsey Baddow.

Yeah, right. Ramsey and Kat. Yeah. And I told them to do the same thing because I was going to call them out. But Kat didn't do it. Yeah, cat's a wuss. She bailed on the thing.

She's a wuss. She wouldn't do that. Yeah, so there's consequences. Big time. You're fired. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He made her cry at dinner. What'd you do?

I didn't make her cry dinner, dude. She cried on her own behalf. I texted. No, no, wait. She cried on her own behalf. What did she cry of? He brought up, like, drama. Yeah, yeah, it's some drama.

drama in her life. Why are you? Why? We're having dinner. Oh. We made it. Yeah. We made dinner.

Normal dinner. Yeah, normal dinner. Yeah, drama. Dinner. Dinner. Dinner. Yeah. Drama dinner.

Yeah, yeah. And so I didn't know that it was going to make her cry. Did you? No, but you could, you kept going after I saw the tears start. Yeah, but I'm, because I have Asian eyes. Oh. And also I have bad, poor eyesight as it is. That's also true.

Yeah. That's also true. So I have double. He can't see. can't see shit, right? So I didn't see the welling. Yeah. You know what I mean?

And, you know, a lot of times, you got to see the welling. So I pre, you know, I didn't see the pre-welling. There was no welling. There was no welling of the eyes, right? So then I go, let's keep going. Oh, and you dug deeper. Yep. A little deeper.

Then some water comes out. And then water comes out. I still can't see it. Really? Yeah. She's drenched at this point. Until I see. Lip tremble.

Trembles, I can see. Trembles, you can see. Lip trembles, number one. got up and hugged her. That's how I knew you knew. That's on an eye chart when you go to the doctor. What? You know, they say, can you read this? E, F, Q, S, P, and can you see this tremble?

And they stand underneath. I know, I've seen that. I've seen that. Right. I'm good at that. You can watch. Yeah. So, but then I made up with her and everything was fine. I apologize profusely.

And, you know, and here's another thing I would like to call out, if I may. Please. So anyway, can I cause something else? Yeah. All right. Well, um, remember what? McCone said that Project Hail Mary was okay? Well, what he said was that you think you're Ryan Gosling. I know, but he said the movie was okay. Yeah, he said he didn't like it. Yeah, yeah. What'd you think?

I posted about how I thought it was one of the best films. It moved me. I cried about five times. Yeah, yeah. Did you cry? No. Yeah, yeah. Do you know why? You're a sole sociopath. Yeah, you're a sociopathic. A lunatic. A sociopathic. A lunatic. If that movie didn't bring you to tears. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Then you didn't connect. with what was really going on. It was a little too millennial for me. It's like, not like a millennial? Yeah, a little millennial cringe.

Why was it, what was it? Hold on. Oh, sorry, I'm sorry. What about it was millennial cringe? That's almost ridiculous thing I've ever heard. What do you mean? I don't like it being categorized, like I hate the movie. It was fine.

You know how hotels have like a cente spray? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just got like a hotel. Like a Red Bull. I know. I'm so sorry, dude. It's all right. Yeah. I mean, it's, I'm, I smell like Red Bull now for the rest of that.

It's one of those example, you know, those example clones you get? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I apologize. I'm in Red Bull. Yeah, but that's not a bad thing. No, not really. Yeah, yeah, yeah, but anyway, I apologize. It's okay.

Because what he said was absurd. Here's the thing. What about the film was millennial cringe? I just mean that kind of style of Avengers style of filmmaking. Wait, time out. Oh, my God. There's no Avengers style of filmmaking. the pacing was perfect.

I'm talking about a tone. They're like, they have to be like, he's right behind. Oh yeah, and there's a guy with a shield throwing it. Right.

And a guy with a metal, what are you talking about, man? You didn't like the cheeky. I didn't like the cheeky self-awareness thing. They've been, Hollywood was doing it for like 10 years. I'm personally over it, but the movie was,

movie was fine. It thought it was okay. Okay, but let me give a little bit, let me give context for people. Keep him the lesson of films. People that even haven't seen it. Ryan's character was excellently executed by him to be a mumbly, bumbly unsure of himself, kind of high functioning, uncomfortable person.

The every man. So when he's doing this, he's playing kind of into the role more so than the thing you're talking. He's playing us. That's fair. He's playing us. I think it was less. I love Gosling and the anatomy of a fall girl. They were both.

His play Bobby. That's not. No, Bobby. No. You guys are, please. You guys are really. Yeah, yeah. They're really doing it.

What's going on? What is going on? Because I walked in the way. Also, you called me today five times you left a voicemail. I couldn't make out. Yeah, yeah. And then when I did call you back, it was like, are you going to be okay with it? Sabah, da, blah, da, blah, da, da, bab.

You didn't text me one time. I don't know what you're doing. I thought it was you're an EDM, DJ. Oh, God. I didn't understand a word you said. I said, I got to call you back. I can even know, I don't know what you're saying. And you didn't.

I know, but did you text me or call me? No. Why? It's, you know. It was about me. He's the boss. Dude. I'm going to leave, dude.

I want to leave. What did I do? He just said it. What did I? That you're the boss. He's right. So I get nothing. You get all my love.

All my loving. I will send to you. I was going to do the Led Zeppelin. I love my love. Is that what it is? All of my love. Whatever. Wait, you give me that.

Okay. Last thing I want to say, there's a couple of other things I want to say. Before you move on. Go ahead. You're infinitely wrong about the film. If your criticism was that it was too long, that's one thing because it was quite long.

However, it was well done. It touched a nerve. It's a representation of emotions, relationships, love, friendships, love, friendship, loneliness. It was about all of these things. And it was encapsulated between someone that was a being. Don't even give that away Because that's a spoiler

Well, it's been out for like Three months now I know but still don't give it away Anyway It's a rock creature Calls him Rocky Yeah We're gonna call it

To communicate It was so funny Anyway It was like very cutcy And I thought it was cute Oh my god This guy ET was cute ET was cute

When we were kids When you saw ET Did you get the same feeling As Project Hellamary A hundred percent Of magic Yeah magic Well it also made me feel like

God That's a really good example. It made you feel like, oh my God. Anything's possible. We are, we can. We can win the war in Iran. We can win the war in Iran. That's what I thought. Yeah. That's what it made me feel. You know, we can do it. We won't, but we can. You know, so that, I mean, that magical feeling that you get from like those 80s movies that were like, it had it in this. It had it in 100%. And I hadn't seen a movie like that in so long that it touched me in the right way. Because you're, because you're in touch with your emotions. And McCone, you're so devoid of

of that. Devoid. That you just don't understand. Empty shell of a man. I've never met someone that didn't cry during that. Yeah, yeah. My brother cried three times.

How many times do you cry? I'm not gonna, I'm not. I'm either. I'm not exaggerating. Yeah. I genuinely wellie got teary about three or four times and then one real heavy one.

Call it cat birding. I was birding. I was cat birding. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Such a good time. I weld up like three times. My brother welled up three times. Everyone I asked to watch that movie weld up three.

Have you seen it? Yeah, yeah. Did you well up? Yeah, I think I was two, though. Two's fine. Two's good. Two's good, right? One's a little scary.

One's scary. Zero is lunacy. Absolute chaos. And you didn't well up at all. No, I guess I thought it was cute. It was fun. Okay, what about you, Spain? I loved it.

I saw it twice. See? See? That's what I'm saying. A real director. A real director. I knew it? Yeah, yeah.

A real director saw it twice. I saw it twice. I want to be like, I think I'm the next Paul Thomas Anderson. Right? sees it and doesn't cry. Because they're so smug. There's a smugness about you, guys. That's fair.

Okay. What's your middle name, McCone? Trevor. Ugh, that says everything. Yeah. Yeah, PTA. You're a Grand Theft Ottawa character. Yeah.

Trevor. Trevor. PTA versus MTC. Yeah. You sound like a, it sounds like a train line. You've been on the MTC recently? It's a mess. Look at, there's McCone.

There's McCone. Trevor. And guess what? Trevor didn't cry at that movie either. No, he did it. No, he did not. No, he lit that fucking lighter. Yeah, he probably lit the movie theater on fire.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Looking for meth. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, dude, speaking of airport. Yeah, tell me. Coming back from Mexico. They, they'd given us in this thing that I did, they gave us like a little...

Can I guess? Huh? Can I guess? Yeah. Chicklets? Yeah, checklets. No, no, what else? No, they gave us a football, a commemorative football.

Whoa. It was just like a little, not like a, it was just, whatever, it's like a little signature thing with the title of the event on it. It's a nice little thing. And I put it in my carry on. It's a little tiny football. And the thing goes off.

And then they search my bag and he's like thumbing through it. And he's like, what's in the bag? And I was like, it's a football, like a football. And he takes it out and he's like, no, no, no, no. He said no what? No. He doesn't like football the game? He hates football.

Okay. It was Mexico. Oh. He goes. It was a soccer ball. Love. Love. He would have started kicking it around.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, but he- I'm chicharito. Remember chicharito? Chicharito. Yeah. In his, in his, um, you know, nerd pocket. What is this called?

Front pocket. Front pocket. Yeah. I call it the Andreas. Titty pocket. Okay. Because you always, the Dijeridoo or whatever this. What if the clothes you wear, the Dizzeridoo?

That's a kangaroo pocket. Yeah. It's a little single large pitch pocket. It's a pocket. So whatever this front, he pulls out. out a needle, a pin that you would put in the end of a, like a pump, and he's got it on hand. Wow. And he...

In front of you. Staring at me. Yeah. No, can do. Can't have, no. I was like, what? It's air. Did he put it back in your bag?

And then he goes, okay, go. Do you know, they gave it back, right? Yeah. You know why? They took the air out? No, no, no. They smuggled drugs through that. Of course.

No, but it went through the thing. There was nothing in. but air. I know, but he didn't know that until he... No, but they went through the x-ray machine, and then he did it afterwards. They stopped me because... Maybe the x-ray machine can't go through that thick leather.

Well, then get a new one. I don't know much about... You can't see through that? I don't know. It was wild. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then they pulled out the... Can't fly with fully inflated the drop in air pressure.

Why? It can cause the air inside to expand and make the ball pop. It's just air. It's not helium. Yeah, yeah. It's, um... Should have popped. Yeah.

Puff. Yeah. He saved your life then. Yeah, he saved your life. Yeah, you saved your life. No, but then they pulled out my hat, I had my Thera gun with me. Yeah.

The massage gun. I love that one. I've used yours. And he goes, what, what, what? What? And I was like, oh, massage. Yeah. And the guy with me is like, what's going on? I'm like, and he shows the woman in charge.

Yeah. And she's like, what, what? What? What? Massage. Yeah. And then I go, massage gun. And my guy goes, not a gun.

And I go, not a, I mean a massage. Yeah. And he was like, massage. And then I turn it on. Yeah. Just so he can see. Because it looks a little spacey. Yeah.

It looks a little. Like you have a laser. It looks a little project Hail Mary. Yeah, yeah, yeah, a little bit. Yeah. That's what it looks like. It looks weird. Yeah.

I use the other one, on the go one. See, that one, the triangle. That one looked, you know, that one. Yeah, yeah. And I turn it on to show him. And I literally I'm like giving myself a massage at USA. That's so funny. And he's like, okay, okay, okay, okay.

And he put it back. Oh, no, he didn't put it back. He threw it down on the table. Yeah. And then made me repacked my bag right there. But outside of that, Mexico was amazing. I bet. Loved it.

I love it. I love Mexico. Mexico's the best. Let's move there. No. I did have a fun time down there. My buddy got stung by Stingray. It was kind of crazy.

We're walking out. We're walking out. So Steve Ron died. He were walking out and he goes, what the fuck? And it's not deep. It's only like two feet right there. and I was like, what? Yeah.

You step on his shell? And he goes, no, look. And he lifts up his foot and it's bleeding pretty good out of his foot. Yeah. You don't know they hang out there? Well, you shuffle your feet. You're not supposed to stomp. If you shuffle in the sand, that's what the locals say.

Like in Dune. Yeah, you can't. Yeah, but I have my stingray flippers. Yes. You stole my. Those are mine. Those are yours. Yeah.

I bought two stingray flippers and they're just like, hang. You put them in the water. They're like, what's up? You know what I mean? It's kind of cool, though. I was like, how's your foot feel? He's like, the dumbest thing I've ever said. You got to swing the bat.

Yeah, sometimes you seem to miss. Swing there? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You agreed. I liked it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can I just say one thing also, and this is the dumbest thing. And I never knew this.

So there's this new restaurant. It's delicious. I forgot what it was called. That good, huh? Yeah, but it was really good. And so, my manager was like, you got to get the lamb neck. Lamb neck? Yeah, the neck of a lamb.

to make it clearer. Yes. And I'm there with the girl that I'm seeing, and we're eating delicious. And then finally the neck comes, the neck of a lamb. A delicacy. It's a delicacy.

And I go, do they kill baby lambs? And she goes, what do you mean? And I go, well, lambs, you know, have babies, right? Oh, yeah. And she's like, no, the lamb is the baby.

Exactly. And the sheep is the, Mom. I thought lamb was a fucking... Different species. Just a different species. Woolier, if I might say. Hmm.

Yeah, so I didn't eat it. Once I got that information, it was like, I'm not eating baby any... Have you ever had veal? Yeah, I've heard about that. Veal's baby cow. I know. That's why I won't eat it. You ever had baby duck?

I won't eat duck in general because they're too cute. Don't you guys love duck? What do you mean you guys? You peep. You people in what way? Orange, though. Oh, you mean Asians? Oh, I see.

Aren't you guys like the, isn't that duck? Yeah, I'm not a, you know, there's a famous- Highly popular staple in Asian cultures. Yeah, I don't like it. It's too greasy and- It's very fatty and- Fatty, greasy. Why is it?

Because it's very lean, isn't it? Why is it so greasy? I wonder. Yeah, but I won't eat lamb again. Or what about sheep? Will you eat sheep or just fuck them? But then I asked, I googled, that, I've never fucked that

Okay Ask Carl Okay Please that guy held it Held it Yeah yeah Yeah I don't like dog And I don't like anything

Gamy Yeah Gamy meat is not my favorite Like deer Or I don't like I don't like it Yeah yeah yeah

But I like just Kind of regular meat But then it's like Now it's getting even harder To eat regular meat To be honest Why? My algorithm

I did see I did see a pig In a machine whether they kill it and the yeah the sound was kind of sick yeah but the pain you also ordered bore Friday night no no no that's wild boar that's not true

that's not true that's not even true that's not even true I'll tell you what it is okay it had a variety of different meats inside the sausage okay and wild boar happened to be a little bit of it's a wild boar ragu was it a wild boar ragu no no we had Italian sausages with peppers yeah as an appetizer delicious. Yeah. And the sausages had a little bit of wild boar, but it had a couple

of other animals in it as well. Sorry. Well, you can read it on the fucking menu. You're right. Yeah. Okay. Was this tough for you guys? It's a little true. Yeah, a little bit. I mean, his... That's not true. We were... I know, but his tone is, like, for instance, I'm like

looking at on stage. Oh, no. What? When you needed the lights on? Yeah. Yeah. And it takes three minutes to turn the lights on. Well, I'm not like the lighting guys, so like, that was hard. And then he's like, you can't jump off the stage. He's like, what? Because it was four feet high.

Yeah, and I'm fucking five, four. Okay, so it's like the measurement. I would worry. If I was four foot tall, that would be a difficult thing. Well, it would be perfect, actually. Bobby, I was literally just worried about your spraining your ankle. Yeah, that was about care? Yeah, of course.

Okay. Well, then why don't you put something underneath the catch his fall? Yeah. Something soft and squishy if he fell. Yeah, you fell on like a fat guy, I think. Didn't you? jump out of a fat guy? Yeah. Yeah. That's what he's there for. Yeah, that's what he's there for. I just, a skinny, like a Karen carpenter kind of a person I would never fall on. You don't

want skinny people in the front row. You want a big person in case you, Chunko. In case you's crowdsur. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, I got a crowd serve. But anyway, so that was a problem. And it's just your tone in general. We had a good weekend, Bob. Yeah, it was great. I'm doing three more this weekend. Yeah, we are. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So. Is the power going to his head? What's going on? He's, he has this thing where it's like, because we've known each of for so long that he says this out loud and to the openers like I can talk to him this way because we have history and I never said yeah you do you said that we've known each other for

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and use the code bad friends at checkout for 15% off. Dude, I stayed at a hotel this weekend. Glorious? What's it called? Well, it's a, so I didn't even, it's how dumb I was. There was a, it's the Ritz Carlton Reserve. Like, I didn't even know what that is.

Lose, I'm sending you this photo. Look at this thing. This, that's exactly right. Yeah. Yeah. Look at that thing. Sorry. Go to the photo that I just sent you.

This was off the back of my room. Uh-huh. You can walk out every single night I went naked into the plunge pool. Yeah. That's off the patio of my room. Every night, butt naked. Who were you golfing with? Yeah, Taylor was there.

Golfing. No, no. No, not Taylor, but what else names are you golfing with? No, I mean, nobody you, I mean, what do you mean? There's no celebrities? Just guys. I know, but what guys? What guys?

I mean, like guys, golf guys. Oh, so no celebrities? No. Okay. No, they're just like guys at the golf club. Just regular guys. Well. Just regular guys at the golf court.

The guys could stay out the shit hole. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Regular guy just staying at the ritz on the ocean. Well, they're only staying there until their houses get built. Oh. I also learned that Puerto Vallarta, which we were north of. but I learned that that's like the West Hollywood

of the Mexican coast. Whoa. It's like... Huge gay. It's like downtown. Carlos, write that down. Yeah. Case we need to go bad.

Yeah, well, get Carlos there. It was, you know, I guess it's his big... I was talking to a guy down there, one of the guys at World Resort who... He was awesome, but he was like, oh yeah, that's where... Because I was like, hey, you're living and staying here.

What do you do as an American gay male? He's like, downtown Puerto Vallarda is West Hollywood. I was like, wow. Really? He's like, oh, it's fucking. Look at that. The gay scene there is incredible. Oh, my God.

That was my buddy on the left. Are you being real? No. Yeah. Wow. But apparently the scene is massive. It's a cool scene, dude. So I left a couple parties early to go check in.

Yeah. Well, there's probably a gay area everywhere. Nope. Not in Russia. No, there's a gay area in Russia. No, there's not. Look it up. You know nothing about.

Russia? They leave if they're gay. They'll kill you. Not in Iran. Yeah. There's a gay area? No. Oh. These are all the places without gay neighborhoods. Afghanistan, Iran, Yemen, Somalia, Qatar, Nigeria. Yeah, it's illegal in these places. Well, in Nigeria, they'll kill you. It's against the law. Almost all these places, it's illegal. It's against the law. Wow. Yeah, you can't be gay in public. Yeah. Is there a mystery, though, if you're gay in Iran, for instance, right? Let me just there are no, there's no gay neighborhoods in Russia. Because they're gay people. Huh? I mean, even though there's no gay area, there's gay people.

They get converted there, and it works in there, in those countries. Oh, they... What do you mean? You mean? Because they know they're going to die, so that that's what... Yeah. Do I think there's a gay neighborhood everywhere? Yeah, but a lot of it has to be quiet.

So, right, it said St. Petersburg has a quiet scene, but I'm sure they can't be loud about it. It's like... I'm a gay. Yeah, or like, you had a tree. That's like the park. What? That's where the park started. Yeah, yeah.

There's got to be like inner workings of where they meet. Oh, yeah, they probably meet up in like in like speak-easies. You know what I mean? Yeah, like a speak-easy, like an old gay speakeasy. There you go, Tverska Street and nondescript industrial areas. See, they got to hide away. Yeah, yeah. Oh, the Three Monkeys Club.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. There were only two monkeys when we went, though. And look what it says, various pop-up parties. So they got to come and go because, hey, I love pause. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But there's probably an excitement about it. Right, it makes it sexy again. Don't you think?

I know what you're saying. Yeah, yeah. It's kind of like when- Right, Carlos? Where it's like, it's like there's a danger aspect to it? Yeah, it's like you knock on a door like a guy, you need a password or something. Yeah, you know nothing about this, right? Yeah, yeah.

So, all right, so I didn't know. I learned something new. I just, not every country has a gay area. I'm sure every country has gay people, but some of them have to be. Secret. But... Pst. Pst.

Yeah. Wow. Over here, you want to see me? Yeah. Because I remember, like, when I was growing up, I guess in Korea back in the day, because my parents would tell me, no gay. Yeah. Right.

Not one gay there. You know what I mean? And now there are gays. Yeah. You know what I mean? So it's like what happened. They were always there. Yeah.

Or maybe this one day was, you know what I mean? The gay Korean Jesus was born and it converted. I don't know. Gay Korean. A Korean? Yeah, yeah. There was a conversion of some sort. Homo Hill.

Is that what it's called? No. Go back to that. In Korea. Wait. It's called Homo Hill. It's called Homo Hill. Wow.

Really good. Homo Hill sounds rath. It's rad. I would go to Homo Hill. Anyway, I love Mexico, though. I really do. And you know why? The food phenomenal, the people, the most fun, the most fun.

The most fun. I bet. You can just goof with them. They don't take it so serious. It's like an escape. Yep. If I felt like it was on a little baby escape and the seafood. Holy shit.

My procedures next week. Oh, yeah, let's announce to the world. This is going to be tracked and studied. Studied. Yeah. So Carlos is going into Bosley. They're going to give him a full hair restoration. Yeah.

Now, did they say how many times they got to do it and all that stuff? We're going to do it once this year and then potentially in a year. They're going to retouch it. How long is it going to take? probably eight months or so eight months of surgery yeah yeah oh the surgery you're gonna be under for eight months huh no mccone will be there filming

all 12 hours now let me ask you something because you're so bald is that why you have to go twice yeah yeah it's an extreme operation yeah that's so extreme that's a heavy lift yeah yeah it's gonna look like uh toy story five you saw booty oh did that come out right

no but the idea what he's bald yeah and Twitter yeah this So I'll have a bald spot in the back. Wow. Was Tom Hanks pissed about this? No. Yeah.

Isn't that funny that they did that? Why did they make him bald? Because he's getting older? Right. But he's a toy. It's like I'm going into surgery to look like this. Oh. Carlos, when you took your hat off in front of them, did they go, whoa?

No, they were professionals about it. Okay. Because I would have been, oh, fuck. It's a lot of work. Take your hat off. I'm the doctor. Take your hat off. I'll be the doctor singing.

Yeah. All right. So we think we're going to be able to do a really good job, don't you think? Oh, I think so, Dr. Smithmore. Well, Dr. Wachamee, I think that we are going to do great. Well, we're the best in Beverly Hills. By far. Yeah, yeah.

Well, let's see what we've got to work. Yeah, let's see what you're going to be a client. Yeah, Carlos. Oh, my shit. God darn it. We'll be able to fix that. Yeah. Probably.

You've got to come in 20 times in three years. I mean, that's a lot. I think they're going to be able to do it. Do they take the hair from where to put it there? The bass. No. Oh, I thought it was your ass. Yeah, it's called an F-U-E.

Yeah. It's your back of your head. If you want it curly, why can't you use your pubic region? You could. Yeah. I would do that in the front, pubic. What do you think? Yeah, I hear it.

You actually gap. Yeah, yeah. Follicular unit extraction, F-U-E. Yeah, that's going to be. Wow. Are you excited? Well, everyone already knows I look like this, but it'll be nice to, like, not wear a hat everywhere.

It can be a thing with, like, dating or something. It can be, like, Oh, why don't you do the Bruce Willis just shave it all off? No, I'm gonna do the younger Bruce Willis and get this surgery. Okay, but why didn't you do that before though? Just be bald? I did for like eight years and I just didn't feel like me Oh Like shaved head felt like you have an egg shaped head No, I have a nice shaped head. Okay, yeah It's not egg

It's like you know, it's like the moon or something It's not this way. It's this way. It's longer. Well whatever our head is a way The moon is circular. See that photo right there? Yeah, I see it. Yeah. That's the moon. I think I have a nice head.

Andrew? Yeah. You think he has a nice head? It looks like, yeah. If he shaved his sides and stuff, you don't think it's like kind of... Well, we're going to see. He has to shave the side.

Yeah, it's going to look crazy next week when I do that. I think it's eggs, but that's my bad. No, it's okay. Okay, I got my own opinion. What kind of egg? Ostridge? Ostrich. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, that's the comedy one Is that the comedy one? Ooh. See, already, dude. This is what I'm getting on the road, by the way. A little taste. I do think I'll be a little more confident. Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay.

Yeah. Really? Just a little bit. You're quite confident. Yes. He says stuff like, oh, that joke didn't land or like for a dinner and stuff like that. You know what I mean?

Crazy. You really put him down like that? Yeah, he'll go ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Oh, wow. Yeah, yeah. He'll do a Rogan. Yeah, I mean, yeah, your shows are in the middle of the playoffs, so it's like I have other things to do too.

Basketball. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Rogan does that laugh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He doesn't like it. Or he'll go, ha ha, ha. Oh, yuck. Twice he's on it. Ouch, why, yeah, yeah.

Well, it wasn't funny. Yeah, but ha ha, it's like. I know, but if I said something that wasn't funny, what would your response be? You do that all the time here. I know, I know, I do. Yeah, but we have fun with it. I know. You have to laugh through it.

Yeah. Say something. All right. That's why the egg rolled reached for the sky. That you would do. It's fun. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, you give you a little taste. Yeah, you do something. I'm going to see if I can organic respond. Well, and when she jumped, she didn't die. She bounced off the earth. Right? Yeah, I bought it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I mean, the crowd would buy it. All right, now try it. This is the Rogan way. Do it. Okay. That's why leprosy is a condom. Yeah. It hurts.

That hurts. It hurts. It'll hit you. Yeah, yeah. Like, fuck, man. Sorry. You do one. Well, that's why cheesecake takes better on the moon.

Ha, ha. Oh, wow. Ow. That hurts. That hurts, right? It's like a, you suck. It says you suck. Ha ha, ha, you suck.

Yeah, you suck. Or you just edit it out. Like when I have guests on the other thing that I do, Sometimes they'll say something that's not funny, but I'll laugh because it's just, I don't want to feel bad. Polite, yeah. Do you do that?

I do it on this show every year of five. We do that. So you think that half of the things I say isn't, that's not funny? More than half. So most of the things I say aren't funny. 85. 85.

Really? No, you're the funniest person I fucking know. All right, so then it's like. I laugh at you because we're having the most fun I've ever had. But as a guess, though, you do pretend. Oh, oh, with. Yes? No, well, you just, you give them some space with it. Like you go, you go, oh yeah, like you just feed into it.

Yeah, yeah. Until they hit the note. Oh. Hey! Come sit down. Sit down. Shut up. Shut up.

Shut up the fuck up. Shut your fucking mouth. Justin Bieber, everybody. Justin Bieber. We got him. So Bieber, you're a, you're a Bieber fanatic? Yeah. I love Bieber.

Do you like Bieber? Oh, I. Love. Love. Love. Love. It's a. like beyond love.

Like how I have with the Lord. With the Lord? You religious? He's a huge Lordy. I'm a Lord guy. I love that. It's beautiful. Big Lord guy.

I also believe in Satan. So it's like a conflict. I'm conflicted. You know what I mean? Don't you hop to believe in both? That's true. That is true. Yeah.

You actually do have to believe in both. Yeah. No, I think he's a talented. Talented kid. But I don't think I'm jamming to the music, but I do. What do you listen to? The clash. Yeah.

Oh. Have you heard of them? Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They're great. What do I like right now?

You know who I just started listening to? Turnstile. I found this girl. Turnstile is great apparently. Yeah, they are good, yeah. Yeah. I found this girl. I love her voice.

Is it Bella Kay? Her name is Freya Riding. Oh, I love her. Freya is great, great for us. Freya's so good. It's beautiful. Silky voice, yeah. She's beautiful.

You guys listen to the same type of music. Well, we're old. We're old. How old are you? Old. Oh, guess. This is fun. Is it? Guess? Yeah. 42. No. Older? Yeah. You're lying. I'm not lying. Google it. 48. Older. 50? Older. 54? Yeah. Shut up. I am! What's that like? Everything creaks. Yeah. Yeah. This hurts. See this right here? Yeah. This hurts. See this right here? Yeah. This hurts real bad. I can, well, my neck hurts too these days. Why? How old are you? Guess.

Oh, fine. 27. Oh, 26. How old are you? Guess. Guess. Here we go. 46.

Yeah. Up? 42. You get Botox? No. Look at my fucking face. Yeah. Looks like you have Botox.

You mean I need Botox. Now, it looks like you have a little Botox. It looks like you got attacked by a bear. Yeah. In like The Revenant. Like, it looks like I got, I've been fucked up in the wood. Did he win for The Revenant? Yeah, yeah, he did.

Great movie, right? I never saw it. I just remembered the Oscars campaign. Oh, okay. He never won. Why didn't you see it? It wasn't like my type of movie. You don't like bears?

No, I don't love bears. Muskets? How about muskets? What's a musket? Pause. It's a type of gun. Oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You don't like bears. Do you like cubs? Cubs sound cuter. Yeah. Are you an animal person? Yeah, I like dogs. Oh, good. Yeah.

I think I'm like getting there with cats. I know. You don't need to. I know, I don't need to. Yeah. I literally have a kitten right now in my house. I told you I wasn't there with cats yet. Yeah, he just told you he wasn't there.

I know, but I'm just trying to find a home for this kitten. Oh. Yeah, yeah, it's like this small. It's so cute. Can't. Why? Dogs. Okay.

Yeah. I'm a dog, yeah. You have a dog. No. What? Why not? I have nothing. building that you live in, though.

I have a home. Yes. I have a home. I need to take off my hoodie. It's hot in here. This is why we do it. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. There we go. There we go. Stop it. Yeah. How tall are you? Guess. 5.2.

3. 5.3. 52, you asshole. I'm 54. I'm taller than you are. 5.3. Stand up. Yeah, go back to, go butt to butt to butt.

Go butt to butt to butt. But to butt. That's the only way to really know. I'm 5.3. I'm 5.4. Barely. Take off your hat. Oh, yeah?

Oh, wow. Oh, no. Bobby, if you're 54, then, Jake, you're 52. It's two inches of difference for sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll kill myself. Don't do that. Don't do it here.

Don't do it here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I will. Yeah, yeah. Oh, you're 5-3. Yeah. I'm 5-7 then. Yeah, you're 5-9.

What are you? 5-9? 6-1. Stand-up. Okay. Okay, I take, okay, you're fine You sit small All right

You do sit small Well, I'm sitting at a desk Yeah, yeah, yeah People say that, they go, oh, you, I thought you were shorter Where you're, I'm sitting down on camera You know what's interesting about this Can I just say something about torso and legs? Maybe you could back me up on it

Okay So the girl that I'm seeing right now is 5'9 And her legs are five feet What I'm saying is that even though I'm 5'4, it works because the fact that, like, she has a smaller torso. Wait, I'm sorry. I didn't listen. What is that?

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But it works because she is a smaller torso. Her torso's smaller. So her legs are longer. So it works when you're having, you know, we're making out and stuff. He doesn't understand that. That doesn't really matter.

That doesn't really make sense. She's still taller than you, you know? I understand that, but you would think that. No, you wouldn't think because your penis isn't at your feet. You don't be, you're not standing up kissing and fucking. You're laying down.

So you're slid up. So your little feet are at her knees. I know. Okay. But I'm not like going, look at me. You know what I mean? Yeah, you kind of are. No, I don't look at my little feet by her knees going, look at my little feet.

She sees him. And she stays. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She does. Yeah. She stays. Yeah, she stays. Are you single?

I am. Yeah. Good for you. What are you looking for? I don't know. I always said I wanted a boyfriend, but I think I'm too selfish. You're gay? A little

100% Yeah Okay You ever heard of Homo Hill? No, what's that? It's the gay neighborhood We just looked it up Homo Hill

Homo Hill Homo Hill is the gay neighborhood in Russia Russia? Korea Korea Oh, I want to go to Seoul So bad

Yeah, go to Homo Hill You know my best friends in Seoul right now Homo Hill is supposed to be They would love you This got brought up Because I said I was just

in Mexico And a friend of mine said Porto Viarta is like The West Hollywood Oh my God You bet you've been I've heard Everyone's fucking

on the beach. Oh, it is true. Yeah, it's true. Yeah, it's true. I said, well, where do you go out? Like, where are you going to meeting people? On the beach. And he goes, no, no, I meant we were far away from PV. And I said, where do you go out to meet dudes then? And he goes, oh, dude, you go down to PV.

This is heaven on earth. Look at that. I know. Why have you been? Why have I not been? Yeah, yeah. I don't know if that's my type of gay scene. What is your thing?

What's your scene? My scene. I don't know if I found that yet. Really? Really? What's a night out for you on a Saturday night? Oh, a night out? Okay, am I in New York or L.A.

Well, you live here now, right? Well, I live in both. So, wait, what do you do on a Saturday night in L.A.? In L.A.? I'll go to dinner. What time is it? I have to know the specific. That's exactly right.

You know what? I actually don't love to. Well, no, I'll do like an 8 p.m. dinner. I'm your roommate. You're my roommate? Yeah. So what are you going to do tonight? I think I have dinner with some friends that.

Where are you going to go? I don't know. We don't really know yet. Maybe like, well, we can't decide if we want to get dinner at living room and then continue going out there. I love living room. Yes. Oh, my God. It's fun.

Yeah, yeah. It's fun, especially when it's worn out. The asparagus, sir? This is offending me for some people. What? Like, I'm not even gay. I'm getting annoyed. Have you by my friend Raoul?

No. Hello. He's from Spain. Are you from Spain? Oh, you are? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, we're in Spain?

None of your business Yeah, yeah Barcelona What are you the police Yeah, Barcelona Barcelona Oh, I love Barcelona I went there once with my mom

Oh really? Where do you stay? Where did I stay? You know, I don't remember But I remember I remember loving it Yeah, he loves it there Yes

And he's from there as well Yeah Yeah Men's the bad part What? Anyway, Raoul's from out of town He's from Spain Yes

And he's going to the living room Oh, I love it We love it Yeah, it's fun there It's fun Yeah Dinner and then what after We do

for after. After? I'll probably go to bed at like two. If I'm in LA, I'll probably go to bed at like two. Oh, no, that's when. Oh, I'm so sorry. Yeah, the after. That's when we pop off. I don't like an after, I don't like an after party.

Nothing good happened. Well, we're bringing it back to the apartment, so bad, bad love for you. I know. You don't want to come over? You know, maybe not tonight. We're going to do poppers. Poppers. Poppers.

Oh, I do. I love poppers. Yeah. Yeah. Carlos is excited. Carlos loves poppers. LA is tame. New York, is this where you go off?

Yes, I, New York, I, like, can't, like, when I really commit to a night in New York, I'll, it'll ruin me for weeks. Oh, well, tell me why. Are you a big drinker? Big drinker. No. Yes, drugs, though. No.

Yeah, we can smell. We could smell it. Yeah, we smell it. The way you just said that. What kind of drugs do you do? Nothing. Okay. Oh, so I'll just tell you the drugs I've done.

Okay, go. Meth? No, you haven't. I'm 100%. Have I not done meth? He's a recovered addict. Okay, well, you set me up for that one. Are you really a recovered addict?

Yeah. No, no, I'm a garbage head. What is that? A garbage head, I'll just do anything. He would take anything. Yeah, yeah. Are you lying? No, no.

Why would I lie? I don't know. I don't know. He just pretended to be Raoul. What does that say? This is Bobby Lee kicking the habit. Oh, good for you. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Four years. Well, this was 2022. I relapse. And then we had a relapse. So this is kind of null and void. Yeah, yeah. I'm glad we made a trophy out of it Yeah, we got a trophy out of it

Wow, it's actually really refreshing the way you guys So I've done meth I've done crack What's crack like? It just feels euphoric and very good Really? You said to me one time You love the way crack smells

I like the way it smells What does it smell like? Like poo? What kind of crack are you talking about? Crack, you said you like crack the way of the mess Oh, the drug? Yes Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

He's done crack, meth never hair off. I don't know you're not. You've never done, not, never heroin? No heroin. No heroin, no. Yeah, that's a hard one. Yeah, that's a hard one.

Yeah, that's a hard one. Yeah, I've done Molly. Well, of course. Yeah, of course. I've done weed, acid, mushroom, you know, I mean, acid, I, acid scares me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, what have you done? Let's move on.

Let's move on. Okay. But you have, can we do this, though? You have done other things other than alcohol. Yeah, of course. Okay, well, then let's just move on. Six. Yeah, he's 26.

Yeah, yeah. A young man. Where are you from? You're born in New York. Yeah, well, born in L.A. raised in New York. Where are you guys from? Chicago.

San Diego. Okay. My brother's getting married in San Diego. Oh, it's a beautiful city. It's Gorge. It's Gorge. Gorge. Born in L.A., you were born, you're an L.A.

high school kid? No, I was born in L.A. I moved to New York when I was two. Oh, so you're New York kid. Oh, you're a New York kid. Yeah. Are you a Manhattan kid? Yeah.

Yeah. Wow. What does that mean? He was born in the, he was raising the city. I just like New York so much. I don't even know the boroughs. It's Brooklyn. Yeah, I don't even want to know the borough.

Let him guess. Okay, guess. There's five, right? There's five. Why are you doing this? You don't think I can do it? Yeah, go. Queens.

Yeah. Brooklyn. I just said that doesn't count. Yeah, but there's five, so that's one of the five. Go continue. There's no D on the end. What? Brooklyn.

Manhattan. Yes. Okay. Give me a, the first. You're kidding, right? I swear to God. Give me one letter. from the

B. The boroughs. The Bronx. The Bronx. Yeah. And give me the last letter. H. Harlem.

Yeah. There you go. I'm so sorry. Are you well? Harlem is not a borough. Harlem. It's a neighborhood. Harlem's in Manhattan.

Staten Island. Yes. That's a borough. That's the one. I think. Yeah. Well, then don't say it like you know. It is like that.

Yeah. It is like that? Yeah. It is like that? Yeah. Brooklyn, Manhattan, Queenstaten, the Bronx. When I saw gangs in New York, I had no idea what was going on.

Oh, I wanted to do that movie. So good. Yeah, yeah. Is that about the five corners? Yeah. You never seen that movie? No. God, that's good.

I feel like you've never seen any movie. Name a movie. Oh, really? Yeah. Let's go, okay, let's go. You know what we're going to? One flew over the cuckus nest. Never.

Forrest Gump. Of course. Why, of course? Because I feel like everyone. Shoshang Redentpin. No. Top Gun, the original. No.

Oh, um. Top Gun, the new one. Yes. Yeah. Goodfellas. Yes, I love Goodfellas. Oh, you do? I watched it when I had COVID.

I was in my, like... It's a good COVID movie. I was in my, like, mob era. I was, like, obsessed with mobs. Oh, so Godfather you've seen? Yeah, I don't really... I can't. Why?

It's just like, really. Like, I don't understand. What do you mean? I didn't know what was going on. And then I started part two and I fell asleep. Casino. No. Wow.

Which mob movies did you really like? Yeah, Casino's one of the best mom movies of all that? Just Goodfellas. Oh. I think if you, that's the, that's pretty much the top. I loved, I loved Goodfellas. I thought, I thought it was very, I thought it was very well done. It is well done.

It's one of his best movies. Turns out it, yeah. Yeah, it is well. Everybody agree. That's good. Let's go more evergreen. Braveheart, we said, you never saw that. E.T.

Yeah, I've seen E.T. Yeah. What is it about? It's about alien that like, yeah. Yeah. Hanged out with all the kids and they fly in the lake. Yeah, yeah. How about, did you see the new movie Project Hell Mary that we did.

I did see that. And what did you think of it. I cried. How many times? Like twice? Yeah, twice right there. Three times each here? Fuck you.

See that guy in the middle? None. Didn't cry at one time. What once? He didn't cry at all. When's your birthday? June. Are you Gemini?

Gemini don't cry? Dissect him. You evil fuck. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Jake, dissect him. Yeah. What do you think about these Gemini's?

Tell me about him. I mean, Gemini rising in a Gemini mood, so I know a lot about Gemini's. Okay. They're very two-sided. Okay. I have two sides to them. But.

Yeah, yeah. Two sided. So, like, you're, you can lie. Oh, he's a liar. And he's a, so he's a piece of shit. He's a piece of shit. I don't know if you're a piece of shit, but you definitely go to bed at night and you look at the, you look at the ceiling and you just don't know who you are. Yeah, yeah.

Oh, confused about who you are. Okay, do all of us. That's great. I'm a Libra. Oh, you just want the peace. I want the peace. No, not true. He's mad of war.

Well, then I need to. Yeah, yeah. What's your side? Mine? Yeah. Virgo. Oh, so you're... Panda.

Yeah, no, no, not Panda. What the fuck? Panda? Yeah, no, not Panda. That's not your sign? No, no, that's not my sign, dude. No. Oh, it's coy.

Coy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You like control. Of course I do. And I can tell you've been cut that, cut that, cut that, cut that with you. Yeah, yeah. Like control. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. You went to med school. You went to med school? Yeah. With Trump. No, you didn't. We're both doctors.

No, you said that. You saw the photo, dude. Okay, we're both doctors. What is? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you went to, are you lying to me? You went to medical school with drunk, Trump. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And you're also a recovering drug addict. That's true. That part's very true. Yeah. Like in the movie. So the first part's fake. Yes. Oh, you guys.

Wait, wait, what's fake? The Trump. The med school with Trump. Yeah, I didn't go to med school? What? I don't know. Look at us. Do you think I'm Dr. Ken Jung?

No, I don't say. You think I was in the hangover? No, I did know, I'm just saying it. No, you're lower. This is a lower entertainment. You're on a, you're in the basement right now. Yeah, you're in the basement. All right, so dissect the Spaniard right there.

What is, uh, what do you? You're a Arias. Oh, Arias, you're nasty. Fucking nasty. Yeah, nasty. Yeah, nasty. Yeah, nasty. He's piece of shit.

Hell yeah. Aries men are so rude. Who are you most attracted to? What sign of man? Louise, do you think I have a specific sign that I'm attracted to? Yeah, I love a sad. Or a Virgo. I love a Virgo.

Thank you. Yeah, you're welcome. Saj. Yeah, yeah. Sagittarius. What is that? What month is that? It's late, or it's November, December.

In the Chinese thing, what year are you? I think I'm year of the rabbit. Yeah, I can tell. You do have rabbit. You hop like a motherfucker. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What are you guys? I'm pig.

You're pig? Yeah, yeah. What am I? I have no idea. What year? 83. 83. Let me guess.

Let me guess. Snake. I see that. Pig. What do you guys get along? We're both pigs, dude. Yes, you all. Yeah, dude.

Oink, point, dude. Wait, that's so cool. I don't even know anything about it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're the year of the pig, what does it mean? The pig is the last animal

in the Chinese zodiac. People born in the year of the pig are innocent and enjoy happiness. Dude, you're so innocent to me. They're laid back caring, considerate kind, and makes them the best friends to have. Dude, we are the best.

Oh, that's beautiful. Oh, my God. What you want to animal of you. I'm the rabbit. What is the rabbit? Let me see. Wait, put 1999, though, just to make sure I'm not wrong. You were born in 99. 99. Here we go. So were you. What does the rabbit mean? Let me guess. Gentle. This is not correct. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Gentle, quiet, elegant, alert, often embodying peace, longevity, and prosperity. They don't for being compassionate, witty, deeply reasonable, though they can be conservative and overly cautious. Yes. It's highly social, artistic, and avoid conflict. Making them loyal, albeit sometimes reserved friends. They love poppers late at night in New York. Oh, it says that? How does it know that? They lie, they say that they're 5-3.

Yeah, it says they're liar. Yeah. Gentle and kind. Oh, I love that about me. Do you think you're gentle and kind? Yeah. Yeah. I think I'm definitely kind.

I don't know if I'm like gentle. I feel like I'm pretty like I'm pretty abrasive. If you picked up like a baby like I would drop it. I can't. Oh, okay. That's not gentle at all. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What?

You picked him a baby. No, I would. I've never dropped a baby. But like you see I'm like hitting this mic back and forth. Yeah, but I feel like if you did. pick up a baby you'd be gentle about it. I mean I'm very good with kids. Yeah, there you go. Yeah, I'm very good. You're gentle. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How long have you been with Louise? Since the day I started really to work together. We were co-workers. Where? Um, at a, well, she worked at a management firm and I and the management firm had a joint venture with the record label. I was the joint venture with Zach. Wow. What's a record label? Uh, the record label is 10K projects. It's now Atlantic. Well, it's not, it's not. It's not, it's not. Louis, one. He's not. Louis, What is it?

It's still 10K, but Zach is now at Atlantic. Okay. So when did you know that you wanted to, you know, kind of escape that world become more of a personality? You know, I never did. I never wanted to escape. I was very happy. I loved working for Zach.

I loved going to work every day. I loved music. I'd so much fun. And then it kind of came random, not randomly. Like, I was posting online, but I think I was posting with no end goal, really. It wasn't like a, it wasn't. premeditated, this kind of a felony. It wasn't, yeah, it was like,

if it happened, like, Zach always used to, like, make jokes about it. Like, if anything happens, I'll be your manager. Wow. And then, um, you just have a natural gift for a personality. Oh, thank you. When you came in, it was like a, you know what I mean? Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know that way? I'll take that way. Well, I mean, you have fucking the rosiest chicks I've ever seen. Bro, bra, bra. Oh, it's a problem. It's a problem. Is it a problem? Yeah, I have, I have moisturizer.

It's tinted green. Yeah. So, wait, like, uh, takes away the rosiness. Yes. Yeah, yeah. Is it green, Louise? That's the color?

Yes. Yeah. I don't understand. The green like, no, no, but why do you want it away? Because it's,

it's too fucking rosy sometimes. Really? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. There's some photos in me that are so fucking ugly. Yeah, yeah. No, I like the rose.

You like the rose? Yeah, yeah. It pops. That's your new nickname. The rose. The rose. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Little boy rose.

Does it get rosy in other parts of your body? All right. No, and that's not what I'm asking. What are you saying? What parts of my body? Like your shoulders.

Do you get roses? No, it gets like red. What? I think my body gets like red. Oh, so you don't tan. No, I burn. Do you have rosy cheeks? Yes.

That's what I'm... He's saying your tush, your rosy cheeks. Oh, yeah, no. How do you know? Because I can see my own ass. Through a mirror. Sometimes, yeah. You never got, you never go between your legs?

You've never looked at your own ass. I've never, like if there was no mirror, I think that's an impossibility. Unless I go to a pond. Right? And I do one of those deals, but it's like, if there was no mirror, I would never see my ass. But yes, I do have a mirror and I have seen my ass. You take yourself down to ass pond over there. Yeah.

Look at that. Yeah. Take yourself a good look at that butt. Yeah. Do you have a big butt? I don't know. I mean, do you like your butt? I don't hate it. I hate my butt. Really? It's too flat like my...

Like your what? Face. Exactly. I actually do not think you have a flat face. Thank you. He said it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You said it.

You led me there. You did say it. Well, he pushed me all the way there. I know. What did you want me to do? Yeah, say it. Yeah. You do not have a flat face.

Thank you at all. No, it's a fret face. Yeah. Frot face. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, he does. But if I was on a coin, I was a president, not good. Yeah, it would just be a line.

Well, it would be easy to print. I have the worst side profile. Can I see it? Let me see. No, it's great. Presidential. No, it's very bad. Yeah.

And there's one side that makes me look like I need a nose job, and the other I don't. Oh. What happened? Boxing? No, I fell off a tree. Close. When I was a child. What, you were climbing trees?

I was climbing a tree at a seafood restaurant in Massachusetts, and I fell off. You want to know something crazy? Yeah. I bought a homeless guy's shake shack yesterday, and as I was putting the food down, I looked at his foot and had a swastick on it. No. Carlos, did you do it where you're homeless now? I swear, I got in the car, I looked at my friend, I said, you'll never believe it. No.

He was such a nice guy, though. Did he draw it on there? Because I don't think he has that. No, that's a tattoo. Because you're white, that's what it was nice. But I'm Jewish. Oh, well, he can't tell. Oh, yes, he can.

Yes, he can. Yeah. Well, did you, what did you do then? I got in the car. I said, oh my God. You gave him the shake shack. Yeah, he had a dog. The dog's obviously not a fucking Nazi.

No, you don't know that. You don't know that. Was it a German shepherd? You know what it could have been? Did it put her pop? Have you guys just been podcasting all day? We started at 4 a.m. Yeah.

You know my friend Matt almost flew out for this. He loves you guys so much. Matt who? You don't know him. Oh, he's like, oh, okay. Actually, he's a tour manager. Matt McKinney. Oh, no, no.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. He should have come out. Yeah. Matt, we love you so much. So how do you feel about this? We went to Coachella.

and we saw the strokes. Did you go? Oh my God, I saw the strokes and it was unbelievable. Echocella? It was the best experience of my life. Me too. And then Bieber was gonna go

and then I went home. What? You missed out. Yeah. Did you go weekend one or two? Weekend two. Okay, so I saw the strokes weekend one. I die for the strokes. I had the most fun of my time of life.

Did Bieber do the YouTube video thing that? Yeah, it was amazing. It was so cool. I thought it was so cool. Yeah. Who are you friends with? Justin Bieber? No, no.

Someone in a band. Well, I had met- You friends with Julian in Casablancas? Yeah, so when I was on Mad TV, I introduced them when they were on Mad TV. You can see it on. Wow. The ladies and gentlemen.

For their 2003 album? Right? And then they came, what? For their 2003 album? This is it. Yeah. Yeah. And what are you looking at?

Is this? I was about to say, I didn't want to know. And then I got in trouble. Do you know why? Because I was using drugs then. Yeah. And had a bowl of drugs in my, in my dressing room. Right?

And the guy that was, what? What? Yeah. What? What? So I had a bowl of drugs on my dressing room. And the guy that was dating Drew Barrymore. Valencia.

Yeah, Valencia. Who, let me see? Nick Valencia. Nick Valencia, yeah. I don't know if I knew that. I think I got in trouble because he took, he was supposed to not take and he took. And I think Drew Barrymore complained. And I got a little bit of trouble, I think.

Oh, he's handsome. What drugs were that? I was a pillhead then. So Vicodin, Valium, Somas. He's just a bowl. A bowl. of just a mixture of ones, different sizes, shape.

I love how casually you talk about it. It's actually very, it's probably very inspiring for people who are in recovery. Why? Because, like, it's probably such a stressful topic for some people

and you make it so... I mean, I have an addiction and it's a disease and it's like, you know, I've... What? Everyone's scared to... Yeah, and I, you know, and so, there's no shame in it.

Right, yeah, no, that's what I'm trying to say. Yeah, yeah. Congratulations. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I mean, Carlos is an active addiction right now. He's an act. You are? Yeah. I mean, yeah. Yeah. For what? I mean, everything. This is crazy. I mean, I took Molly at the strokes and ketamine, Molly. Yeah, I got ketamine into the festival. He had a Bible. Yeah, he had a Bible filled with drugs. But like, are you taking it right now? Yeah. No, no, not before. Not on the show. So you'll take it like on a weekend out. Yeah, I'm like, I don't think you're an active addiction. Thank you, Jake. Insane. He doesn't know. He doesn't know. He doesn't know. Yeah, they saw me on tour, like doing a lot of- One time I was, okay, so we're in Nashville. Uh-huh.

Okay. It's such an exaggerated story. It's not. Okay. It's what I see. Okay. What do you see? Tell me.

40%. All right. Excuse you. Excuse you. Yeah. I just want to take around. That was nasty. That was a nasty Asian joke.

Yeah. Why did you see it? The nasty Asian joke. What did you see at Nashville? Okay. I'm walking on the street. It's like three of the morning. Oh my God.

Okay. Just got out of Taekwondo. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I take the best taekwondo classes. He takes those at night. In Nashville. Yeah. Late night.

Oh, you're serious? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. In the middle of the night. Yeah. Yeah, I'm a purple belt. Okay. What did you see at 3 a.m? It's all purple.

So I'm wearing my, you know, my gear. You know what I mean? My geiger. Geier. Gear. Gear. And I have my purple belt. I have my duffel bag.

And I'm walking down the store. street. Just mind my own business. Beat to be specific. And that smelled so bad. I'm so sorry. You're in it. No, I'm so stressed out about it. I just farted. Do you hear it? Obviously I fucking heard it and I'm so stressed out. You smell it yet? No. Okay, I'm sorry. It'll make its way. No, it

actually can't and I need a fan. Like, I'll please continue. It won't get up. Oh, you don't fart? No, I mean, look, I just really, I really struggle with smell. Oh, you know, okay. What? We're looking for a fan. No, no. You guys, I wasn't. He was, yeah, he was. Yeah, he was kidding. It's not gonna make it to you. I pray to God. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not going to.

All right, go ahead. Anyway, so I'm walking out and I'm going to say, et cetera, et cetera. And I look down an alleyway and I see a man making out with, to me, looks like a meth head. Yeah. From a distance. Is this real? Yeah, it's real. And it's Carlos with this girl making out just in the alleyway, just sitting down. Against trash can. Against a dumpster. What was so wrong with that? Rock and roll, man. Rock and roll. What's the problem with that?

What were you insinuating drug use? What drugs were you on? And then he came on the bus naked, half naked. Are you a tour manager? Yep. Yeah. You remind me a lot of Matt. Oh, I know Nolan, by the way.

You know, no. Shut the fuck up. How do you know Nolan? He reached out to me and wanted to just talk. He's a fan of this show. He's awesome. He's awesome. Yeah, yeah.

Okay. A lot of people want to talk to you. Yeah. You know, it's so nice that you go on their show. Matt refuses to come on my show. He does? He refuses. Will not? He refuses. Why? I don't know.

Okay. I don't know. It's so nice. You have it so lucky. You don't know how good you have it. We do. I just had Mateo Lane on. Do you know him? Yes. Yeah, great guy. Yeah, he's very funny. What? You're asking because he's gay? Yep. Yeah. You know what? That felt weird. You're right. I apologize. I don't care.

Well, if you ask, hey, do you know who? who Ronnie Chang was, I wouldn't be offended. Right, but I wouldn't ask that. Why wouldn't you ask that? I don't know. Because I don't know who Ronnie Chang is. Yeah. I don't know who Ronnie Chang is.

What is that? You don't know who Ronnie Chang is? Oh, yes, I know him. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know everyone's fucking name. Okay. All right. Okay.

All right. My bad. What is your type of, who are you looking for? Because we've got a lot of fans that might have not know, not familiar with you, they might be just getting to know you. And now you're opening up some new game. You know, I think I'm, I always say I'm experiencing the experiences of like a 16-year-old girl for the first time as a 26-year-old gay boy. And so I don't know what my type is.

I think I'm figuring it out. Did you come out later in life? No, what do you think? That's actually hostile what you do. And I don't find that appropriate. I came out to my parents when I, I was 10, 11. Oh, I didn't know that.

How did you do that? How did you do it? I walked up to my mom's office. Can you do it in the 10-year-old kid's accent? I said I had like a high pitch voice. Yeah. Said I think I like boys. And then I asked for a toy.

And your parents fully accepted it. Well, yeah, they knew. I was like dress. I was in dresses. No, he's saying were they supportive. Of course they were. Okay, that's good. No, it's not of course.

It's not of course. You never know. Okay. People do go through. We have a lot of friends who have gone through. This is how it went with me. Dad, I'm gay. You peckle you your bag.

You're gay. Are you gay? He's bye. You're by? I'm not by big time. I'm not by big time, dude. He's by. Who is by?

You. I'm not by. Okay. 45%. Have you hooked up with a guy? Yes. Yes. Multiple times.

Yes. A couple times. You're by. No, I was a kid. What do you mean you were a kid? I was in high school. I would get drunk. You know what I mean?

And I just blow guys at a party. What are you? Full straight? Yeah, you know that. You can see that from pretty far away. Yeah. Pick up, answer, answer, answer. Oh my God.

Answer. Matt is texting me. Okay. Yeah. You're on bad friends. Am I? Yeah, you are. Hey, Matt.

Hi, Matt. Hey, what's up, guys? Why'd you check? Jake, why'd you text him? Tell him why you texting me? Tell him what you are texting me right now. Oh, yeah. I was just asking if he knew

certain people were Jewish or not just off the top of his head. Why? Why? I'll read you our text. He said to me, he said to me, yesterday at 11th, at 402 p.m. Is Anne Hathaway Jewish? And I said, I don't know why. And then he never responded.

And then today at 1 p.m., he said, do you know if Meryl Streep is? And then I said, I don't think she is. She might be, why? What about Jennifer Gardner? She's a maybe. Maybe. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So why do you want to know who's, are you? Are you counting people or something? What's going on?

No, I'm just genuinely, I'm just curious if anyone knows, just like... This is how it starts. Do you run a train company? Yeah, this is how it starts. My God! That was nasty! That was nasty! I don't even know what he said.

He said, do you run a train company? It was an autism joke. No, it was a Holocaust. It was a Holocaust. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Okay, goodbye. Bye.

Bye. You just hung up? I love that. I love that. It's great. Goodbye. Yeah. Gone.

That's not like my normal. Wouldn't it be a bummer though if he died moments later? I fucking kill myself. Well, you would? He's my best friend. You should say goodbye sweetly. Yeah. I know.

Stop it. I don't like that. Well, I know. He knows I love him. Because our goodbyes is as if I'm never going to talk to my mind again. Because that little sassy thing you just did. I didn't like it. That's going to be bad for you in the long run.

That's rosy cheeks shit. I don't like it. That's rosy shit right there. That's rosy shit. That's sweetie. You know what? Boom. Our conversations.

All right. So good set. You had good set tonight? Yeah, it was pretty fun, man. That's getting late. Yeah, it was good. Yeah. It's getting light.

I love you. Aw, is that real? I love you too. Yeah, we say I love you. And then I go, good night. He does. Yeah, and what do you say? Night, night.

Aw. Yeah. I don't say that. I say okay goodbye, I love you. But that's not how you did. Yeah, because I'm putting on a show. Okay. Talk about vaudevillian.

Yeah. Yeah. I always say, I can't not say love you. I have to say love you and I have to hear it back. Yeah. Did you have fun though or no? I honestly would love to come back. No, we want you back.

We want you. You guys want to come on my show? Oh, we would love to. Love to. The flow. Really? Yeah. It was pure.

It was very real. It was real. It was real. It sat my ass down and we started talking. And we just boom. Yeah. It's kind of like a bar. barbershop in here.

Well, yeah, I guess. Salome. I don't think so. Sorry. Well, when you're here, it's a salon. Salon. It's a salon. Get your hair done.

That's, you know what? I don't like that. He did a couple. Yeah, he's saying it's nicer. Okay. No, that's not what he was saying. That's not what he was saying. What was he saying?

He was saying, it's a salon for me. When I got, you guys call it the barbershop. It's the salon for me. No, I call it salon too. Really? Yeah. You are gay. Were you looking to that camera and say thank you for being a bad friend?

Thank you for being a bad friend.