Bad Friends - Fat Rehab

Episode Date: July 12, 2021

Thank you to our Sponsors: https://www.babbel.com code: badfriends & https://hellotushy.com/badfriends & https://mvmt.com/badfriends & https://butcherbox.com/badfriends YouTube Subscribe: http://bit.ly/BadFriendsYouTube Audio Subscribe: https://apple.co/31Jsvr2 Merch: http://badfriendsmerch.com 0:00 Andrew Visits Bobby's 4th of July 5:40 We Write Rudy's First Stand Up Set 18:30 Sweet Tooth: The Bad Friends Review 23:00 The Sleeve or Hood Debate 44:00 Bobby's Review of The Bee Gees: How Can You Mend A Broken Heart  53:30 Bobby Hung Out with Billie Joe Armstrong 58:15 Andrew Doesn't Know Who John Cena Is 1:07:30 The "Come See Me" Viral Video More Bobby Lee TigerBelly: https://www.youtube.com/tigerbelly Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bobbyleelive Twitter: https://twitter.com/bobbyleelive Tickets: https://bobbyleelive.com More Andrew Santino Whiskey Ginger: https://www.youtube.com/andrewsantinowhiskeyginger Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino Twitter: https://Twitter.com/cheetosantino Tickets: http://www.andrewsantino.com More Bad Friends iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-friends/id1496265971 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/badfriendspod Twitter: https://twitter.com/badfriends_pod Official Website: http://badfriendspod.com Opening Credits and Branding: https://www.instagram.com/joseph_faria & https://www.instagram.com/jenna_sunday Credit Sequence Music: http://bit.ly/RocomMusic // https://www.instagram.com/rocom Character Design: https://www.instagram.com/jeffreymyles Bad Friends Mosaic Sign: https://www.instagram.com/tedmunzmosaicart Produced by: George Kimmel & Bryce Hallock - 7EQUIS Podcast Producers: Pete Forthun Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You two are bad friends. You are these two idiots. White dudes and Asian dudes. You two are disgusting. You two are something. Bad friends. Happy 4th of July. We get for you.

Everyone's good. I got to Bobby's house for the 4th of July party. And he made an announcement. He goes, the whites are here. The whites are here. No, because I was telling everyone at the party, I can't wait for the whites to get here. It was so brown. It was so brown for me. Because I grew up in both worlds.

Yeah, in Asian and brown. And white. You had brown. Let's say I was a Jedi. Right? In half my time, I grew up in Tatooine. In half my time, I grew up in Hoff. You split your time.

What do you like more? What do I like more? If I was in Hoff, I'd be like, I can't wait for the sand people to get here. Like, if my 4th of July party was in Hoff, and the sand people would probably show up in those wooly mammoths. Who would like to call the Eric Riffens.

And they would show up with the Eric Riffens. And they would get up, whatever they do with the sticks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There they are. There we are. The sand people. That's me, right? Yeah, that's you, definitely. That's closer to me then.

That's how ethnic people and immigrants, see white people. They come with weapons and we look very scary. Very scary. And all we're really bringing is a tuna casserole. But they're like, these whites. And in the mass, you're mouthing the n-word. The whole time.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just let that be known. You guys are sand people. Sure, I'm a sand people. So anyway, Sunday, I was like, what are the sand people going to get here? And then all of a sudden, I hear you guys. You heard us coming.

Not only did you, yeah, but you had so much Filipino food. Yeah, which I didn't touch. You didn't have any of that? I ate the Mexican food. You ate the Mexican because there was a taco truck. Well, there's two options. You know, like if it was just Filipino food,

I'd be like, I guess this is it. Do you like Filipino food? I have to survive and sustain myself. Yeah, but I can't do two different ethnicities. You can only pick one? Yeah, yeah, that's why I never go to fusion restaurants. Yeah, we've gone together. Yeah, I hate them, though.

What fusion restaurant have we gone together? Park's Finest is Fusion. No, that's more Filipino. But it's also Korean barbecue combined. No, it's not. They do both. That wasn't Korean barbecue at Park. There's two parks, by the way.

There's one over a month. We already talked about that. And the one that you went to was a Filipino restaurant that we know a guy that runs it, right? That's not Korean food. There was a Korean guy there. I was me, yeah, I was there. Yeah, but I'm not working there.

I figure if you're there, you're working. They gotta put you to work. I tried the Filipino food. Who made all that stuff? It was catered. What's the stuff that you like the most? Filipino food. What dishes?

I like the curry curry. What's curry curry? It's not curry curry. Curry curry. What is curry curry? It's pork with peanut butter sauce. They have their own version. Peanut butter satay.

Curry curry, Philippines. So what was that? There was crab legs sticking out of fried rice. Yeah, I think that was also curry curry. You guys don't need to leave the legs in there. It's yummy. But it was like crawling out of the dish. Yeah, the shells were crawling out of the dish.

If you eat that lazy, take the meat out of the shell. No, they crack it. Don't crack it, put it, take it out. They crack the crab's brain and the crab's like, oh my god, and they rip his body apart and they stuff it into rice. I was like, just take the meat out. Why were the legs sticking out of the dish?

Remember in Beetlejuice when all the sculptures came alive? Oh, right. That's what it looked like in their dishes. Meanwhile, the nice little Mexican guy outside making tacos, delicious. So good. Those guys in the back, they bring the flat top.

By the way, he carried everything. That's in Beetlejuice when everything comes out. That's what the Filipino dishes look like. That's a Filipino dish. Curry curry. That Mexican guy carried up a grill upstairs to your house by himself.

Yeah, I understand that. Nobody helped him. Because we paid him. No, but dude, that was like 200 pounds. You don't understand. We paid him. He was dripping in sweat. You don't understand, friend.

He was freaking out. You know, we go paid, bro. How much did you pay, Pedro? So we paid like 500 bucks for him to come. To cook. But I didn't know that. So I just kept throwing him like hundies.

What's that noise? I don't know. There's a song. Do you hear that? Where's that coming from? What do you have on here? What was that? It's just my music. I don't know what it was. So I have a playlist.

But the whites love that. This whole playlist is called Fallout because in the game Fallout, they had all 50's music. Is that 50's? I don't know what it is, but let me ask you something. So tonight, guys,

we're doing the show at Bray Improv. You're coming. Sold out. And you guys are going to be in for a treat because we have a brand new talent going up on stage. You're saying they're going to listen to it now. This will come out after the show. It doesn't matter because

what I want to do is because she couldn't sleep last night. Why? She's scared because she has to do 30 seconds on stage. Let's say it's a wanna do thing around her. She's wearing her mask.

Come on, dude, it's fine. But Kalilah fought me on it and I said you said three. He said three so you gotta do three. We made a deal! One minute! Raising your voice? It makes me angry.

You're going to piss off the papa. I think we should do this is what I want. Write it down. We want to write a script. I don't know why it's on this. Where's Andreas? Your brother stole them. Speaking of which, your brother and the other guy from

Jera Jera. Scissors, they were at your house. They were too, yeah. You know what Jeremiah brought? To your house? Cookies. Chips ahoy. Chips ahoy.

Yeah. And Lay's potato chips. I literally almost grabbed it and threw it into the street. It's so rude. Lay's potato chips and cookies. We got it, Jeremiah. We got it. You went to the 99th Science Store, we get it.

So, I don't know who she's bringing up, but let's just suppose it's Eleanor. Yeah, Annie. I think Annie. Annie. Right. So you're going to say round of applause. Round of applause.

For Annie Letterman. For Annie Letterman. Can I say Atte Annie? Sure. Yeah, sure. Change the script. God damn. That's fine.

What are you, Bruce Willis? Jesus Christ. I want to say what I want to say. Fine. Fine. Round of applause for Atte Annie. Go back. You got to say Atte Annie.

Doesn't know how to spell it and is nervous to do it wrong, but let's see what he does wrong. Atte Annie. That's fine, that's fine. Round of applause for Atte Annie. Atte Annie. All right, so then you're going to say, now I also want you to put in parentheses, right?

Wait for applause. Because I don't want her to run the thing, right? So you got to wait. So how many seconds you think is an applause? 1,000, 2, 1,000, 3, 4, 5. Yeah, 5 seconds. 5 seconds, okay. And but you have to wait the full five,

even if they've already stopped clapping. Just sit in it for a minute. You got to sit in it. So I have to count? Yeah, count into the mic. No, I'll tell you this. If you go less than 5 seconds, I'm going to make you do it over again.

You got to start all over. All right, so you just count. Not out loud, right? Sure, I'll allow this time. Yeah, that's fine. Yeah. 1, 1, 1,000, 2, 1,000, 3, 1,000, 4, 1,000, 5, 1,000. Yeah, say it out loud.

But say it in. Into the mic. But say it in the mic and say it in your native tongue. Don't say it in English. How do you say 1,000? Isang. They don't have, they don't count that high because nothing goes up that high.

No, there is, I just forgot. Isang put? Sang put. Un sang put. Dun sang put. Dun sang put. Three sang put. Four sang put.

Five sang put. Yeah, do that. I do that. Sang put. Yeah, so one sang put, two sang put, three sang put. Many sang put. All right, and then you got to say because you have to say after that,

you have to say, are you guys having a good time? Yeah. That's very important. Are you guys having a good time? You guys having a good time? So put that. And then write, this guy knows what I'm talking about. No.

And you got to point, you got to pick a guy. You got to point a guy in the audience. This guy knows what I'm talking about. This guy knows what I'm talking about. Point at a guy. And then here's what you say. You say, what do you do for a living? So after you point to the guy, you pick a guy

and you say, what do you do for a living? So you pick that guy and go, this guy knows what I'm talking about. What do you do for a living? And he's going to say something. Now, it can be one out of, it's not, it's the very, it's not hard. He's been one out of a thousand things.

Yeah. Generally. What if he doesn't talk? He will. He will. Then that's what you say. Oh, we got to mute in the audience. Oh, we got to mute in the audience.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're loading you up with good stuff. If he doesn't talk, you go, oh, we got to talk. What do you do for a living? If he doesn't talk, right? And then say, if he doesn't talk, go, oh, we got to mute in the audience. And then you followed up with something like...

We used to call them... Well, what's a male Helen Keller? Listen here, Hank Keller, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's good. Wait for it. Oh, we got to mute in the audience. Wait for it. What if they don't laugh?

They won't. But just don't do the pause, right? And that's the gamble, that's the gamble, yeah. Yes, we got to mute in the audience. I call it the uncomfortable zone. And then you can say this. Now, after he, let's say he does say his job, you know? If he doesn't, you say, oh, we got to mute.

If he does say his job and his job is sales or... Yeah, yeah. I don't know, what do people do? What are jobs? I don't know. Insurance. Insurance, yeah. Insurance.

He says his job and right away... I'm an insurance salesman. What do you say? What do you say? Now, this is great. You don't even have to read the script on this one. You can just say whatever you want to say. So if I say I'm an insurance, what do you say?

Nice. Nice. Put that down. Nice. Wait for, that's you for sure, again. No, it's me. Now you are doing the full time. Yeah, you're doing the full time.

No! Nice, wait for laughter. Wait for laughter. Okay, and then you say, then you say, then she's got to transition into something that's... No, no, I think we should go now to... Oh, so you guys have a good time? This guy knows what I'm talking about.

What do you do for a living? What do you do for a living? Oh, we got to mute in the audience. Or if he says his job, you just go, nice. Anyway. You guys ready for more show? Are you guys ready for more show? I can't hear you.

You have to do that. I can't hear you. I can't hear you. No matter what the response is. Doesn't matter if it's super loud. Even if they're all standing and crying. I can't hear you. In fact, you know what?

Why don't you guys stand up. No, no, no, no. And make some noise. Yeah. Yeah. Or, you know, here's a good old school way. Let's do a wave. Let's do a wave.

Let's do a wave. Let's do a wave. So what you do is, and you go, I'll start it. You go, I start the, and you just get on your knee, and you go up like this, right? And in the front row, they'll all do it. It'll go through the audience. OK, so let's do a wave.

Do a wave. OK, then you do a wave. Then you do a wave. That takes about, that'll take about a minute. Couple, a minute or so. A minute or two, a minute or so. Wait for audience to do a wave. We're already, hey, look, look.

I don't think they'll do a wave. They will. Yeah, they will. They will. If you do it. And when they do the wave, do this. Like you're surfing. Yeah.

So you'll start the wave, right? They do the wave, and you just do a surfing thing. Oh, you know what's better? You know what's better? You divide the room. You know what, then you divide the room, and you go, this half, I want you to say bad, and that half, you say friends.

So when I point, you go, bad, friends. And you can control it. You go, bad, friend. You can go, bad, bad, friends, friends, bad, friends, bad. And you can do that. You're going to feel like a wizard. That could kill so much time. You're going to lord of the rings, Saruman.

That's what the kind of stuff he would do. You're going to be casting spells over these people. Casting spells. You're going to be bibbity-bobbity-boopin' them with your hand going, bad, friends, bad, friends, bad. And you can do it as much as you can. And you build it up. And then when they get excited, then go, another wave!

Another wave! Another wave! Surf's up! Right? This is great. I can't wait to see this. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You do the fucking thing, right?

And then you bring up the next comic. That's us. Oh, it's bring up the next comic. Right, so then this has got to be sincere. Yeah, you've got to be honest. So it gives me the utmost pleasure to bring up two significant role models. I mean, arguably the two most important people in my life.

Yeah, arguably, yeah, I'd say, arguably about the two most important people in my life. Look at her face. Don't smile. Yeah, don't do that. Don't do that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't do that.

You know. It gives me the utmost pleasure. Pleasure. Arguably. The two most. Imagine being raised. Yeah, imagine being raised by wolves. Yeah, that's us.

No, hyenas and wolves or something like two different. Well, I'm a hyena. Yeah. Imagine being raised by an orangutan and a panda. Yes. Ladies and gentlemen, the two most important people. All right, arguably the most important people in my life. Imagine being raised by an orangutan and a panda.

And George, are you coming tonight? He can't. He's got a baby. Who's coming? Nobody. Gilbert's coming. So tell Gilbert to record her on stage. So we want to see if she does it right.

Yeah, that's true. OK. OK. So she's got to be in the audience when she's on stage and he'll be recording it. And she's going to bring this piece of paper on stage. And then you say raised by an orangutan and a panda, comma, my Tito's.

My Tito's. Tito Bobby and Tito Andrew. Yeah, and that's it. That's all you have to say. That's all you have to say. This is so simple. So simple. It's a lot.

All right, so let's. Oh, you have to say. It gives me the almost pleasure to bring these next people, bring these next comic to the stage, to bring these next comics to the stage. Arguably, they're arguably the most, the two most important people in my life. Because it is an argument.

Because Kalila is much more important. They're arguably the two most important people in my life. Imagine me being raised by an orangutan and a panda, my Tito's, Tito Bobby Tito. Perfect. Perfect. So let's do a rehearsal. Let's do a little baby rehearsal.

And then we'll move forward. That's all we want. Little baby one for the pod. And he just got off. She just killed it. Killed it. Yeah, people love it. All right, here comes Rudy.

She's on stage now. She's on the go. Round of applause for Ati Annie. One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi, four Mississippi, five Mississippi. Are you guys having a good time? Yeah. This guy knows what I'm talking about.

I sure do. What do you do for a living? I'm an insurance. Nice. That's great. You guys ready for more show? Yeah. I can't hear you.

Yeah. Yeah. Why don't you guys stand up and make some noise? OK. Stand up. Let's do a wave. Let's do a wave. Good call.

All right. In their minds, they're like, we've never done a wave at a comedy show. This is a comedy. Fine, we're going to do one. OK, I'll start. Yeah. That's great.

Whoa. Nice. Yeah. Surf wave. Surf wave. Surf wave. Cool. Yeah.

OK, I'll divide the room. The right says bad, and the left says friend. Yeah. OK, go. No, you just point. Just point. Bad. Friends.

Bad. Friends. Bad. Bad. Friends. Friends. Bad. Friends.

Friends. Bad. OK. See, you'll love that. You'll love that. And then when they do that, then you go, surf's up. Surf's up. You have to yell surf's up.

It's California. This is what they do. This is Southern California. Southern California. Dude, this is so, so, Cal. Surf's up. Surf's up. Now, now, now, now, it's going to be, it's going to be chaos.

Nuts. And, and we need to shift in energy here from here. So do I say quiet? Yes. Yes, as loud as you can. Quiet. Quiet. Instead of surf's up, instead of surf's up.

Get rid of that. Get, get rid of surf's up. And you just go like this. Quiet. Quiet. As loud as you can. And cross your arms. Quiet.

Quiet. Right. So say that. Scream it. Scream it. OK. Quiet. Nice.

OK. Give it to me. Now, and it's strong. It gives me the utmost pleasure to bring these next comics to the stage. They're arguably the most important people in my life. Imagine being raised by an orangutan and a panda. My Tito's Tito Bobby and Tito Andrew.

Dude, that, I can't wait to see that. You know, I'm scared because we have to follow that. Yeah, it's going to be tough to follow. It's going to be tough to follow. Oh my, we have to follow that. But, but let me tell you something. She'll set us up to win. Maybe.

So, and also you could just bring the piece of paper on stage. Yeah, I want to bring it. You can, you can bring it on stage. We print that out, George. By the way. And also, what? You know what I watched last night? You loved it.

Brought me to my knees. What is it? Sweet tooth. It's so good. It's so good. Are you being sarcastic? I'm being dead serious. OK.

I love sweet tooth. Do you like sweet tooth? Oh, what? Do you like sweet tooth? Do I like seaweed? You like seaweed? I love sweet tooth. Do you like it though?

Did you watch sweet tooth? Yeah. Yeah. What did you like about it? It just moved. You saw all of it. Yeah. Yeah.

It moved me. I don't want to give any stories away. Yeah. If you haven't seen this, people at home, watch sweet tooth. It's so, so good. It's well shot. It's beautiful.

It's stunning. The colors, it is beautiful. Stunning. Yeah. But dude, the doctor, I don't want to get into the story. You can't. Great actor. Oh my god.

The him and the his wife, amazing acting. Oh my god. Even the, look it, I'll show this to you, the audience can't see it. Look at my, look it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. We know what that is.

Dude, one of the best shows I've seen in years. By you doing that, I know that you saw it. I know. Yeah, because that's very a subtle thing. Yeah, people are going to see that at home on YouTube. I'm telling you though, it was, it was so good. I don't even know how to explain how. Will Forte in it.

So good. I really liked him in it. I love him, dude. I love him. Last man on earth was great. He makes a lot of great shit. He does. He always makes the right choices.

I know. Yeah. Why can't we do that? We will. We'll start. Yeah. We'll start. We just need to go be on SNL and then get off

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Somebody sent me after we did the app two weeks ago about what's our name using Korean baby foreskin. Oh, yeah, yeah. OK, look this up. This is insane. This is a real website someone sent to me. It's called bloodstainedmen.com. Do you know what this is?

There is a movement, bloodstainedmen.com, to warn the American people that circumcision is cruel, worthless, and destructive. So these guys go around with bloodstains over their weaners and they're fighting against circumcision. They go protest circumcision all over the world. So these are the guys with the topstallon. These guys have the sleeve.

They have the topstallon. They have the hat. They have the sleeve. They have the hat. Yeah, they have a hat. And you're hatless. I have a helmet. Yeah, mine's a helmet.

I have a helmet. I have just the head. Right. They have the skin over the head. They have a turtleneck. I don't like it. They have turtlenecks. Based on looks alone, I don't like it.

It looks strange. Gilbert? He has a turtleneck. Has a turtleneck. Did you know that? Yeah. But he's also Asian. Now, I'm not doing an Asian small dick.

I know, not doing a bit. I'm not doing an Asian small dick, Joe. That being said. That being said. Doesn't help. It doesn't help. Especially when the skin is a lot and the dick is small. Right?

So in his case. It hangs over. Yeah, it's like, you know, the skin has completely enveloped the dick itself. It's so weird. So it just looks like a little ball. Like it's tied off at the end of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's like, you know, it's like one of those Shumai dumplings. Oh, I love Shumai dumplings. I love it. I love it. But to look at it as it appears to fuck with, no thank you. He pulls his winner on and he goes, Shumai! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. These guys are trying to warn the world

to provide people with information to help protect their children. So these guys literally go around protesting. But what are the, I don't know the positives of keeping it on. Well, they say, well, they'll tell you, they'll tell you, dude, should we have these guys come on the show? No, I don't. Come on.

I don't want to meet them. I want to meet them. Because there's nothing I can do about it. I already got the offer. It's over. It's over. They're trying to convince you not to do it to your kids. That's their whole point.

If I have it, my kids have it. Right. Then my kids are going to have extra pleasure. But that's an American thing. You know that they don't, in Europe. What about in the Philippines? Most boys get circumcised, don't they? Yeah.

See, that's weird. In Europe, they don't, in Europe, they all have sleeves, all my British friends have sleeves, they don't get clipped. What about you guys? Are you guys clipped or sleeves? You got sleeves or you got helmets? Oh, clipped, for sure. So he's got a helmet.

Are you Pete, Pete, sleeve, right? No, clipped. Oh, clipped. OK, sleeveless. He's got sleeveless. He got angry. Clipped. Did you guys, wait a minute.

Did you clip your kids? No. Whoa. Pete, so your kid has a sleeve? Your kid has a sleeve? He does. Whoa. Your wife, huh?

Your wife said she wanted to keep it, because a lot of times the women want to keep it. Yeah, my wife's European. See, the Europeans, they leave the sleeve. They leave the sleeve. So what did she say to you, Pete? Was it a conversation, for real? No, I didn't want to circumcise him either. Why not?

Because his wife didn't want to. I mean, come on, Pete. Come on, Pete. Have an opinion. Yeah, seriously, stand up for yourself. What a fucking coward. I don't want one either. What is it, Steve?

Steve, sleeve, Pete? Pete, Pete's sleeve? Pete's sleeve? Your new name is sleeve. Sleeve. Sleevy. Sleevy. Sleevy.

Sleevy. Sleevy. What is it? What is it? Why? Why are we didn't circumcise him? Cass, Pete, that's what we're talking about. No.

God, I miss Andres. Yeah, yeah. Unbelievable. Why did the emperor die in the return of the Jedi? Yeah, come on, Pete. I was an evil. Why, Pete? Why did you?

Because you're a Pete. We don't want to cut him, you know? We just don't do it. So let me provide a real argument, because Pete really can't come up with anything. So what they say is you lose sensation. When you keep your sleeve, you get more sensation. The reason that we used to do that was hygiene, because people didn't. What is that?

What are those? I don't know. It's just black schmutz. Schmutz on the table. I don't know what it is. It looks like poop. Yeah, it's like little rabbit poop. Maybe you have a little rat in here.

Is that rat poop? Do we have? Oh, well, don't. Yeah, it's rat poop. Do we have a rat? Yeah. Don't flick it towards me. Well, why is it on my side?

Because it knows where it belongs. It smelled my desk and was like, smell it over by you. Oh, gross. OK, so go ahead. Anyway, we got rats. No, so they say it takes away feeling. So when you clip, you lose sensation. So they say.

And they also say that hygiene, that's why they did it. So you don't have to clean it as much. But they say now with technology and all that stuff, it's not people aren't getting as infected as much. But also, it's supposed to protect you from STDs and all that stuff. But none of those other things matter except the feeling thing. They say the feeling is way, way stronger. So it's like, let's focus on the feeling.

Well, that's what the one cell is. So what I get when I orgasm. I want to hear kind of. Do you? Not really. But I do. The fans want to hear. Yeah, let me ask you this.

Not a noise, but is there a face that you make? When I orgasm? Yeah, you know what it is. Oh, yeah. I go like this. Oh. It's real subtle. It's not subtle.

It's so racist. It's not racist. It's overtly racist. No, it's not. It's not subtle. That has nothing to do with race. It's overtly racist. No, I just get really, I really get switched.

It's like, ladies and gentlemen, anyone that does that, the president of the United States, his frumpling leg. That's me orgasm. It's no. That's me orgasm. It's overtly racist. That's me orgasm. That's not racist.

Why would it be have anything to do with race? You ask for my faces and I go, oh, that's what I do. It's like, if I orgasm, I do a white thing. Hey, buddy. That's so funny if you did that. Hey, buddy. Gotcha. Oh, whatever.

White color crimes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A yacht. Yeah. No, that's my face. I go, no, my face is this. My face is, what's my face? No, be real.

No, be real about it. I don't know what I look like. Yeah, yeah, you got to be real. You don't do any of that shit with your wife. OK, let's be real then. You know what it really is? It's this. Yeah.

That's it. It's real subtle. That's very good. What's yours? I believe that. What's yours? Let me think. Oh, gross.

God, it's gross. Because you like your trial. No, I'm just, because it builds. It's not like a moment of just feeling. Hits me out of nowhere. There's like a 10 second feeling that builds. So it's more like. Jules, this is terrible.

She doesn't need to see this. No, I just, I won't do that. I'll just do my face, right? Yeah, don't do your hands. Yeah, I won't do my. There it is. Yeah, it's pretty good, right? That's good.

That actually looks very realistic. I would believe that in a sexy. Thank you. Have you ever done a sex scene? No. You know who else hasn't? They're never going to write us. They're not going to write us in a sex scene.

They'll never write us in a sex scene. Nope, nobody wants to see an Asian. Even when I was in Spleen up together, there was a scene where we were in bed, right? And I mean. Redheads and Asians don't get a lot of sex scenes. No offense, but like, I think Lindsay had a thing where, because she played my wife, where we're just laying in bed

and she just has her arm like on me. And the director just went, took that arm off. No. Yeah, yeah. Really? It just, it looks weird. Oh, that's so sad. And I'm like, what's the worst, best friends?

She's like, you're married, but nobody wants to see that. You know. I had to, I had to, I've never been a part of, you know. I don't know if that happened or not. I've had, I've masturbated on camera in a sex scene, like in a, I'm alone in my room. Yeah. That just doesn't count.

I know it's sad. They don't want me on. The only other time, well, this was funny. When we were shooting, I'm dying up here. I think I might have told this story, but there was a sex scene going on. And then I have to come in the room and say a joke. Yeah.

Meanwhile, my buddy Jake's butthole is right in my eye line. Yeah. His butthole, his real butthole. Yeah. Because you're wearing a merkin, you know, on the front. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But the thread goes through his butthole. Yeah.

So I see his butthole. Yeah. And I have to walk in the room and say something like, you know, we're going to be late, something like that. Yeah. Were you laughing? Every time. You laughed every time.

It was so hard because I, I see his nuts. I see his nuts hanging and I'm looking right into his butthole. Yeah, but it, you know, it's different. And it's one of my close friends. But when you're shooting, it's so funny. Because when you're shooting a scene. Yeah. Because when I did the cabin with Brooke Reisscher

and he was bent over, so he was bent over, we're doing a colonoscopy, right? And he's a stick it in, right? So I stick it in. And his sacks. Huge. Huge. Massive nuts.

Like fucking bear sacks, right? His asshole is like three layers of purple. Like mounds. Real tight. It's like, I'll tell you what his asshole looked like. You put a donut down. And he put a smaller donut on top of that. I see it.

And a smaller donut on top of that. I love it. Yeah, yeah. And that was kind of sticking out. That was coming this way? Yeah, it doesn't go, how would I know it goes inward? No, it was going outward, right? So it's set.

And there was a little mole right in the entrance way. Oh, you should get that checked out. It probably has a little sign that says, like, inside the mole, do not enter or whatever it might. So it's like, and then, like, and I'm doing this thing without sticking the tube in his asshole. And I see my friends, everything about him, everything. And, but you're like, you know the cameras on you.

You're in the scene. So you're just trying to, like, it's normal. But it's horrifying. Have you ever done one of those, colonics or whatever they're called? Oh, yeah. You have? We should do one.

And they had the tube next to you. They show you. They show you what goes, what's going out. I can't, like, have you ever done one of those, a colonic? Would you ever do one? No. Why not? You have to do one.

You're either good for it. You get colon cancer. You can get colon cancer. How many pounds of undigested food are in the average human stomach? I read something one time that was, like, six pounds of, like, undigested shit is just hanging out in your colon. Oh, shit.

Like, did you lose weight after you did it? I wouldn't have to get one. I know what, because. What's wrong? Tacos? No, I went to the. One product claims that anywhere from six to 40 pounds of waste, feces, and undigested food stuck in our bodies.

See, six sounded what I've heard. 40 sounds insane. Another one compares the weight of the waste to carrying a bowling ball in our gut. I went to Self Edge to get Gene Saturday. And I go, she goes, OK, what size? I go, normal, you know, 32-inch waste. Oh, you told me this at the barbecue.

Yeah, I go 32-inch. Yeah, 32-inch. And I literally got one foot in the actual opening. In the waste. In the waste opening. I got one foot. I go, what's going on here? Right?

You're 30. I'm a 37 almost. That's big. It's big. It's gotten a little big. But you don't look like you gained any weight. Because my legs don't show it. But you're tum-tum.

It's my tummy. It's like, it's just the body. But you have a really cute tummy. I don't think so. I think it's morbid. Like, even my brother. Stand up and show the camera. Even my brother went to the spa last week for the first time.

And my brother saw my body and he went, he literally went, like, normally he would make fun of me. He's fatty. But it made him sad. He goes, you're going to die, man. Let me see your stomach. Let me see. So sad.

Let me see. I'm going to, this is real. I know I'm looking. This is real, all right? Yeah, sideways. Yeah, it's, yeah. What do you think, Jules? It's big.

Yeah, is it bigger than it used to be? Yeah, I think so. Yeah. But let me see, let me see, keep turning a little bit. Yeah. We got to get it on, we got to do a diet. We got to let's do a diet together. Do you want to do a diet or something?

We should do it. Yeah, I told, I told Jeanine of the Java car that girl was hungry was. Yeah. And do you know nutritionist? You know, every time I ask people nutritionist, they always go, you're not going to follow it. That's not true.

Yeah, you will. I will follow it. What's your breakfast like to this morning? Well, you don't eat breakfast in the morning. Jersey Mike's. OK, you woke up and had Jersey Mike's? Yeah. What are we talking?

Six, six inch? A regular. 12, full. Not 12. It's 12 inches, isn't it? It is. It's got to be a foot long, isn't it? I don't know.

No, it's, it's irregular. It's like, it's not foot. It's half a foot. What is a Jersey Mike's sub length? What did you have on it? Let's just go down what your diet is. OK, OK. Then we'll be able to break down the easiest way

to get rid of it. OK. So what's an average Jersey Mike's sub? Look it up, Pete. What did you have on the sub? I had, I get the number two. The number two is the turkey provolone. Yes.

That's healthy. No, no, no, it's not turkey provolone. It's a. Oh, three, five, seven. Yeah. So you had a seven inch. Seven inches is a regular. That's what I get.

That's fine. OK. Oh, wait, no, no, no, and 14 to 15 is the giant. Yeah, but I don't get the giant. No. Sort of God. Ever. Ever.

OK, good. So what's the two? So what I'll get is, but I'll add jalapeños, avocados. Safe, safe. Right. Both OK. And I'll add, I'll do it Mike's way, because I love it when he does that way.

Right. Did I get a bag of potato chips? Which ones? The Lay's regular. That's not that bad. And then I'll get a Diet Coke. That's what I get. That's what I had today.

So, so, but the number two is it's the Italian, right? Yeah. So it's a cold cut. It's a cold cut, yeah. So I had that. And then I won't eat. Look at the calorie menu on Jersey Mike's, please. Then I won't eat until tonight. Yeah, but you're better off eating smaller meals during the day than eating two massive meals.

It's harder on your body. So why don't you eat four meals but tiny ones? Jersey Mike's, so what are we talking? Number two. I just need, bro, bro, bro, I just need somebody to go. White bread or wheat bread? White, of course. Oh, no.

What? What's 2,000 milligrams of sodium? Yeah. Holy shit. That's a lot. That's a lot of salt because the Mike's way? Yeah. So it's 800 calories for that.

That's not that bad, I think. I just, can I just tell you what I need? What do you need, baby? I need somebody to go. Like I'm in prison. This is it. And there's all you can eat. No option.

Well, why can't we do that, Rudy? Can you do prison meals for him? And I'm like. He's going to yell at me. Yeah, that's probably pretty valid. And so that's all I need. If I could get that, these are your three meals. There's nothing you can do about it.

Look up that company. Is there a company called Prison Meal Plan that we can? I would love to do a company called Prison Meal Plan, where a guy comes to your house and he goes, eat it. Yeah. I'm like, I want more. He's like, no. Go to bed, bitch.

Yeah, yeah, I need that. Prison meals. Let's skip. Or how about this? How about can I go to a place for at least a week or on two weeks? I don't want that, man. Let's get him a prison menu, though.

That's what you should be eating. A package of bologna. No, no, because they don't give that help. I want something healthy. OK, well, healthy is going to be veggies. That's OK. And protein. I don't care.

That's it. I need somebody to go, this is what you're going to eat. This is going to be good for you. How come Kalala's in such good shape? She exercises. She doesn't eat what I eat. OK, but you're not going to exercise, so can you? I am going to exercise.

I have exercised before. I saw the peloton. Yeah, I guess you need somebody. How many times do you need that? I just need somebody to listen, man. I'm fucking panicking. I just need somebody to go, this is what you're going to eat. I think I need to go to an institution or something.

A place where I'm going to wake up just for a week, two weeks. Like fat rehab. Yeah, and go, this is what you're eating, right? Yeah. You can't smoke. You can't do anything. OK. And no gadgets.

No phones. No iPads. Nothing. What are you going to be doing? Just working out the whole time? I'll write. You won't. I will.

OK. I want to see that. I want that. Is there a place, and anyone out there listening right now, get me that place? Is there fat rehab? Weight loss rehab? It's not fat rehab.

I just need a place where I can go. Residential weight loss treatment, the first one. Go down, go down. Residential weight loss treatment, positive alternative. This is great. You're going to a fat camp. Yeah, yeah. Structure house.

Structure house, yeah. Best residential weight loss and wellness program. We're going to this. OK. Please look into this, George. Please go with me, though. 100%. You'll check in.

I swear to God, I'll check in. For how long? For the show. Oh, for how long? How long did we do it? How long does it have to be? Living weight loss, personal coaching, diet, nutrition, behavioral therapy, fitness, and exercise.

Is there flexibility? Click on that one, because I'd love to know. Yes. Look at that. You can stay. What does that say? Day structure package. You could go for a day.

Just check in and check out. Oh, it's four weeks. It's one month. Interested in a stay longer than four weeks? So most people go for four weeks. Look at the day structure package, please. Can you click on that link? Four weeks.

Yeah, a month is way too long. I'm not going to do that. I'm busy. Who is it? OK, for those who live locally seeking benefits, so you can show up, do it, and go home. Well, really? Where is it at?

Where is this at, dude? Let's find out. Look at the area code. It's like Hawaii or something. Where? What is it? 855. No, 855 is like an 800 number.

Oh. You know? 717-1804. Let me find out 717-1804. Let me call and find out to see what they can prove. Oh, look at that. Look, where is that? Oh, dude, that's North Carolina.

This is in North Carolina. Thank you for calling. No. This is in Durham. We need to do this. You need to get this kind of. Dude, we asked for a place in California. You brought me fucking North Carolina, man.

Go back. Click back on that page, please. God damn it, man. We're trying to save my life here, man. In the sun, Dre. It's like crazy. North Carolina is nice. North Carolina is nice.

Thank you, Pete. That's true. Thank you, Pete. Movement. Hey, what time is it? MVMT time, baby. MVMT time, baby. It's pronounced movement.

Look. You guys, you got no look to me. No, you look. OK, go ahead. OK, go ahead. So I never wear watches. But when I go out to a special event, I have movement watches, and I select them,

and I select the most stylish one, and I go out. And it's the best watch out there, because the prices are good, and they're stylistic. They're super well priced, which I think, because as a watch guy, I like collecting watches. They're made by two Southern California college dropouts, and they made a watch company with fair prices and cool colors, and they look different, and they don't look cheap.

My biggest pet peeve is, when watches look chunky and cheap, I like their styles a lot, and they have the quality of a $400, $500 watch, and it's a fraction of that price, which I think is incredible, and it's shipped right to your door for free, and if you don't like them, you give it right back. And they have so many different styles is what I like. They ship it right to your door, it's free,

and if you don't love it, you can ship it right back for free. I've been rocking the Minimal Sport dive watch, and it's very sleek, very cool. I actually like to use it when I am running, and it's all good with sweat, because I be sweating. It's very sleek. It looks professional. Yeah, and the Everscroll blue light filtering glasses

are a game changer. They got these blue light glasses, and it helps with eye strain, poor sleeping patterns. They have so many modern styles of products on their website. It's pretty impressive. You've got to check these dudes out. Southern California folk, and if you

want to elevate your look with style that doesn't break the bank, then join the movement, baby. Get 15% off today with free shipping and free returns by going to MVMT.com slash bad friends. Again, that's MVMT.com slash bad friends. Yeah, buddy. Put your box. Slice it up, baby.

I love the meat. Delicious meat. In my freezer, I've got the only meat is from Butcher Box. No, me too, actually. I think I have 12 pounds of meat from them. They have options like 100% grass-fed beef, free-range organic chicken, humanely raised pork, wild-caught lobster tails, wild-caught

Alaskan salmon, and sugar-nitrate-free bacon. Each box ships with 9 to 11 pounds of meat. So much. Packed fresh, shipped frozen, and vacuum sealed, making it simple to store in the freezer. And you can grab it later for a delicious meal with friends. Yeah, so I liked it because I got the patties, the pre-packed ground beef patties to make some boigas on my flat top.

And let Santino Tello, I like this. Do it as a meat eater. I do love it because then all I have to do is get a farm-fresh veggies delivery with this. And you got tons of meat in your freezer ready to rock and roll. And it's actually, look, it's real good meat. It is. It's really good meat because sometimes you

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ButcherBox.com slash badfriends for free lobster tails and rib eyes in your first box. Yum. Can I tell you something that I've seen twice already on HBO? Yeah. Tragedy. What is it? Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na,

Tragedy. I don't know what that is. Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na. Da, na, da, na, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't. If you got there when I do my walk and I'm a flyer's man, don't time to talk. Who is that?

Just do that. No, no, no, no, no. All right. It's OK. You're moving all the way. I can't stop. Remember? I can't stop.

You don't know that? Don't tell me that I'm a dog, I'm a baby. Don't tell me that I'm a baby. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Stay in alive, stay in alive. Okay, okay, who's that? The Bee Gees. The Bee Gees, yeah.

We have a documentary. They do? Yeah, and I've been watching it. Look out. I saw it twice already. I saw it by myself. It's that good? I don't know, here's what I like about it.

Were they gay? No man! What? They're not gay man! Barry Gibb. He's not gay, he's got like 52 kids. Oh you can have kids in that day. He's had the same wife the whole time he stole,

He's the only Gibbs brother that's alive still you can't just say that he's gay. I didn't say I asked I said is he gay No, he's not gay at all. He look that picture looks gay gay teeth That's the only thing about there's their teeth. It does Barry just say does Barry give have gay teeth wait What does he say is he gay? What does anybody say? No, no, he's not gay. I didn't know I thought Does he have gay teeth? Yeah, look at that middle picture the white one the white in the white Yeah, look at how sexy he is though. Yeah, I say that as a man who might He could coerce me Yeah, so Barry I look gay Rudy

Thank you. It's the time period Rudy. It's fucking the 70s and it was the disc where everybody was kind of everyone was gay Then yeah, they were I'm telling you right now. If that's not a gay photo of three gay men. No, that's not outside the You're fucking performing. That's not outside the Abbey. What do you think they should be wearing Paul Bunyan gear? Well, first of all, does he have a camel toe? Look at the middle look at how That's Robin gift. How dare you look at his camel toe. Yeah, he doesn't penis up in a way. It looks like it's up in a way Balls balls. Yeah, it's up in a way. It's up in a way. It's up up in a way. You know why why They just killed it on stage and he's just he rocked never got an erection when you were on stage. No Oh, I get it all the time. No, I do but no one can tell no, they can't oh, no, they can't I have it like that

I have pitch a little my belly. It's up in a way up in a way. Yeah, the guy on the right looks like it's a photoshopped head Okay, well the one guy on the right is Rory Scoville So so you watch the documentary I'll tell you what I like about them. I Don't like disco You're so ignorant dude. Oh, what's ignorant disco died? It went and what so I was gonna connect Can I tell you what you like about the Gibbs? Go ahead? All right, so they were big in the 60s, right and they weren't a disco band They were like a British band, right? They did harmonizing and they were brothers and

They made it right? They made it big in the late 60s in Britain and in the United States, right, but were they famous there first? No, they actually blew up in both places at the same time. That's incredible, right? So then what happened was they broke up because Robin Gibb and Barry Gibb They they were there was a power store struggle has like any brothers No, Gallagher Liam. It's just tails all this time, right and actually he's in he's in the documentary who the Gallagher's Yeah, but just which one? No, yeah, I'm not in it and also One of the Jonas brothers is in it as well. That's a weird

That's a weird cuz you're talking about being brothers. I know in show business I know so anyway, so what happened was they did their own thing and they were eating it on their own so in this Like early 70s they get decided to get back together and they put out two albums and now they're doing like Shit rooms like they're playing like bar show. No one's coming 15 people. It's over, right? In fact, they would tell Robin Don't look to tell Robin not to look in the audience because he would see what's half-full Right. Yeah, right. So then what happened was? Eric Clapton

Who's signed by the same manager did an album in Miami? Mm-hmm, and he just suggested the boys like would just come out here You always record your albums in England come out here and record an album And there's also an energy going on you the Miami sound or whatever and these guys went out there and they had one shot One fucking shot. They did it and they changed their sound Right, and that's what we called disco bird disco was but it reinvented them and it was an amazing It's an amazing thing achievement because it's like most bands after the 60s when they died They're gone forever. Mm-hmm, you know, well if you if you flop once it's hard to come back

So hard, especially when you're known for one thing, but these fuckers reinvented themselves. It's really impressive It is impressive. I just the music itself is never mind. It's just not I know I know but what happened was because of people like you white dudes like you and I got so interested these are white people by the way I there there are there are the gibbs. They couldn't be more white. They're Nordic That's us. That's the most white up north is white white. Oh, that's true. Yeah, these are the these are like the Viking people This would be honest though. Hmm. There's two different kinds of whites. Sure, right? You have which one am I? That the ones that the hardcore ones. Oh, I'm why you're like working-class white right trash Garbage you can say it. Yeah

right trash, but then you have like Liberace Fancy white white. You have Liberace. You have the Siegfried and Roy Fancy fancy gay fancy. They're gay. Yeah, they're gay. They're gay. Why because they like sparkles was Liberace gay. Yeah, yeah But they like sparkles and they like tigers gay and lions gay and I do and when they die they had to wear them as well Right. No, right. So look at here. They like to grow their hair like lions fancy, right? They're fancy. They're fancy So what I'm saying is when the disco

Disco was huge. There was a guy in Chicago Right much like you. Yeah me who started this disco sucks movement, which I couldn't agree with more right Yeah, so he had all these people come out to Wrigley's Wrigley field Wrigley field. Yeah Bring all your church. We call it church. Yeah disco albums Mm-hmm put it in the middle of Wrigley's field and burn it. We're gonna explode them in a bomb dude That guy's the bet. Who's that guy? Look up the disco sucks guy Dude, that's you. Yeah, it is and we were watching the documentary We both at the same time go when we he popped up on the screen you and Kalilah. We went Andrew

I want to play this guy if they make a scripted verge of this disco demolition night. Yeah, oh my god a commiskey park Oh wrong stadium. Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know wow, dude And they brought their records and burned them at chemistry July 12 1979 a commiskey park Which is where the Watts White Sox used to play. He's turned away 15,000 people. That's how many people 15,000 people with albums. Can we get it? That's how much they hated it dude. That's incredible. And by the way, who's the name it says it right there, doesn't it? The playing the field was damaged that the fans of the White Sox were required to forfeit the second game to the Tigers Because it was a doubleheader. That's the guy Steve Dolls an American radio person now

he's the owner operator of Steve doll network and He's the one that was campaigning this he's a Chicago shock jock guy Yeah, yeah, come on and bring your records down to commiskey this weekend back Punk rocker back then in the 70s. He was like hardcore a fatter with a green, you know, it's still pretty fat That's true. So this guy made you bring him down and so admission was discounted at 98 cents But look at who wins at the end of the day. They bought the records the bean jeez the bean jeez Will forever be known for they have like eight songs that are just never gonna go away Yeah in our conscience. Yeah, no, it's no. She doesn't know who that is. They've gone away. It's our generation. No, you know, the bg's are I

Know their music not. Yeah, you know the music, you know that song. Yeah, yeah, but because in the Philippines That's probably a hit now everyone fucking knows they're probably in the streets That's probably the thing now in the Philippines today like like how far behind of the Philippines in music Well, they always say like Asia is a couple years behind right like a hit song out here is gonna be late there Hey more do the internet bro. What the fuck you talking? No, that's true because their culture their pop culture music is bigger than I're creating our their own pop culture now fucking out some of them. No all of them. No k-pop is big They're it but but but not in Japan and not in China. They're still behind us. They are Japan is not behind us in any way as far as our music film music

You know man our hit our hits here happen first and then they get over there So by the time they're burnt here, they start to get over there. That's just fact. That's just truth So what you're saying right now is they're like some Japanese guys opening up a present from their parents and they go Sublime album. Yes 40 ounces to freedom And they what that's what you're saying and they don't practice Santoria That's the whole then that's their whole life now and they're like memorizing their favorite new artist name. Yeah, I'm strong Billy Joe so they doesn't you know me so they remember it locks into their brain

Do you know do you know Green Day? Do you know that band? God that's so weird. Billy Joe Armstrong wrote you a fucking letter. He sent me coffee Timeout. What are you friends with him? Yeah, you are yeah, he did TB. He did he did the belly I have a weird story with him with Billy Joe Armstrong. Yeah, please like but like arguably my So much of my influence was in a band in my TV, right? Oh, he was a guest Yeah, he his Green Day played Matt TV, right? We would get like Marilyn Manson and Green Day to play Matt TV, right? Yeah, and um, and that's where I learned

That's where I met like Ryan Reynolds. We had young actors as well that would guest star or whatever, right? So um, that's where I met Billy, but then like Billy and I became for some reason Matt TV was like Um, we're gonna send you out to the Grammys to me to me and you're gonna interview people on the red carpet So I would right. Yeah, so in I would like interview people at like, you know the Emmys That's awesome or the Grammys. Did you like that? I hated it. Why Bob because you're with the press So it's like yeah, but they don't want to be I want to be no at the time No one knew who I was so I want to be like on the red carpet and I'm with 50,000 people with cameras and going Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, you know me like it was terrible. Didn't they have a press person go?

Excuse me. We have a guy from Matt TV a comedian. Yeah, no one would want to do it, right? Yeah, sorry. I said something Give it so hacky and give it sweat so much. I can't I can't all please. Oh My god, it makes it so embarrassing. What we all have embarrassing shit What was it? So I I'm and me and Nicole Park are at the Emmys and no one will come and The William H. Macy love right decides to come right and I guess I saw

So, um, how's the department stores? Did you really say that to William H. Macy, how are the department stores do you even get that joke Rudy? No Macy's do you know Macy's? Yeah, you know like Nordstrom's Yeah, he probably said go fuck yourself You're comedian and he walked away. Oh my god. I like that guy so much more. Oh my god How much more do I like William H. Macy now that he said that to you're a comedian walks away? It was one of those things where it's like when it was coming out of my mouth my mind and my filter and everything about me inside

Mm-hmm. You don't mean code red But it was coming out it was still coming out how did how they're like sorry boss It's already in the field thing, you know, we set that out Yeah, I mean what did Nicole say? Oh, she blushed all the blood You know me just washed into her face red Mm-hmm, and she was kind of looking on the ground cross-eyed sweat dripping upset because imagine so you're he goes and you're a comedian He walks away. This is me. I Would love to see that and Nicole Parker and we're just sitting there like this

And I remember turning to Nicole going something like This is my last one of these how many have you done like sex or seven? Oh, were they paying you money? The show was but I mean that was just a thing you had to do outside of the show So the show I mean obviously you're on a late night's schedule You're not making that much money to ruin your career. That's going that started your career was the Yeah, at the time though, you think it's done. Yeah, you know, how's this is the department's door? You're a comedian, huh? Oh my god, how what did Billy Joel say what I want anyway, so Billy Joel, right? What I remember one night

It was after some event or something and his him his wife and him I didn't know them at all right like you what do you mean you I don't barely knew him You know me he was always nice to me though. Yeah, he was always like a really nice guy He really is if you ever ever met him. No, but I think they're phenomenal so talented trade cool I remember he goes fuck. Let's not go to that bar and I he goes We're staying at this hotel my wife and I come just to the room. We'll hang out. That's what I got No, it wasn't that vibe No, it wasn't the yeah, it wasn't that vibe. It wasn't that vibe. No, no

So I just remember like the room and hang out with my wife. His wife was in the room I know, but also let's just this is what happened never inviting someone up to my room with my wife back then It was the 90s. Yeah So we were just like I just remember I'm he's laying on the bed. Okay It wasn't like laying on my back laying on the bed. I'm laying on my back and his wife was knitting This is hot on the fucking couch. This is like making a blanket or something And we talked for like three or four hours just sitting on the beds

No, I'm laying on the ground. He's laying on the bed We're just laughing and telling stories and stuff and I remember just doing all right later and I left It was really sweet. Yeah, it was a cool Little I've had so many little moments weird moments like that You have to cherish those yeah And know that those are really important instead of when you get upset and you get weirded up by the business And you're sad you have those moments for the rest of your life if I look back I have so many little moments like when John Cena like you know John Cena, right? No, I don't know who John Cena is

Who is he An actor is he though He's in the W. He was in the W. I know I saw a fast nine. I saw I saw fat John John Cena is like the main opposition to so he um Vin Diesel, I remember like we're all about family. I Remember we did 24 with Bobby Lee, right? Mm-hmm, and I John Cena I go I'm we did it in my apartment

So I go I go I'm sleeping so you have to wake me up. So slap me in the chest So the first day he goes like that and I go and I kind of got mad. I was like dude Hit me. Well, this is television. It reads hit me hit me as hard as you can. Yes And he goes, I'll break every bone in your body. I got hit me. I Will break hit me See, I just remember like laying there and then like Knocking out. Oh, he woke you up to knock you out. No, I was unconscious Like he went

Right on my thing right and I went I went to heaven Right Jesus, and I came back into my body, right and then for some reason I got up and then I go Go back to the first thing. Yeah, do what you did before you're right. Was he a cool guy? I love him one of the nicest guys how many small beautiful moments I have these little tiny moments with Billy Joel with John Cena with a million things I'll tell you another I ever tell you about the Asian sex party Wait, have we talked about that on this show? Yeah, I think that was one of the first five episodes We did let me tell you something. I've had a lot. I've been lucky

To to have a lot of little moments, but I was so young in the business that you've had good moments Well when I did punked we met a million celebrities, right? But I just but I was so embarrassed about doing the show that it was a little hard for me Like I'm Drake. I drove Drake to meet the president. He thought he was meeting Barack Obama Oh, so you're also playing you have to be in the scene and commit to the scene and you have to play this guy almost be Invisible. Yeah, you do you have to be in a chameleon that must be hard and then it's also like It's not as if you're the star of the show. You're kind of just a player

Right, so you have to kind of be unknown almost well You do have to be unknown and then afterwards sometimes they like you and you get to know that I mean, that's how I got to know Bam Margera Like I got to know some people from the show because afterwards they were like, yo, that was great Yeah, because we also wrote the show. Yeah, so that was cool, but there were moments where You know, we would have to mess with celebrities and you're like Then they're upset when it's over and then they hate you and you're like, it's not me. Yeah, it's a thing and they're like No, fuck you

Really kind of I mean are there times where I mean, obviously this happens where they go I I'm not gonna sign the NDA for that all the time release that happened so much It was insane and then and then you have some producers come up to the come on man They beg and they offer money and whatever they can do. I mean, it just doesn't work because people like no We're not gonna do it. Wow. I unless the star that punked them was so big Like when Bieber did people when we worked with him Yeah, no one was gonna say no the airtime for them was like huge anybody said yeah, yeah Mac Miller who's passed away. He was incredible and he was a kid

He was probably 18 or 17 and man. He was so good. So you die over dose I mean, you know, it's really weird because it was like it was an accident I think I went to bed and took a couple pills to go to sleep and just didn't wake up Yeah Though that's the kind of stuff that you should be lucky that you're alive because of all the stuff that you did Some people just take a couple pills and they never wake up. Yeah, and you did so much much more. Yeah, but you never did pills I did I was that was my main main thing. No, not like but you didn't like mix a bunch of stuff and then take pills and go to bed Yeah, I would take

Six volumes at night when you before you went to sleep. Yeah, oh shit. I mean Jerry Seinfeldts on my dick What is up with you hear about that yeah, we talked about that on here. We did yeah about Jerry Yeah, he hated it. Well, I did apparently was just a rumor. All right, George. I sometimes repeat myself There's no way you don't have to fucking shame me Yeah, we heard about that already move on. He does that thing where he gets a little too Uppity-buppity. It's also dude. Listen, you know what he didn't do You know what he didn't do didn't introduce me to his wife at the party. She had to come up to me I know I saw that she goes hi. We didn't get to meet. Yeah, that's George. Why don't you introduce me to your wife and your baby? I

Was busy with my baby. Sorry, sir. I was but but I show up. I say hi. I did how nice I went around to everybody. You were a sweetheart and I went around to everybody and I said hi You know who's the sweetest to me? Yeah, everybody, but George who I know on the most personal I know you more than anybody there Calila's mom was so polite and nice. The red-headed firefighter guy was incredible. Jeff. Jeff. Yeah. Yeah, whose wife works for? NASA, but UCLA, but it's NASA too. Oh, did you get that my favorite thing about? When Bobby When you introduce me to people your information, I know is wrong

No, it's not that I like to embellish and make people look good always, right? So if you go she works for NASA and I go really you go and I and I go in what capacity you go dude on the aerospace I'm the fucking rockets and I was like whoa And so when Jeff goes hey great to meet you and I said great to meet you and then he said I said you're right works for NASA that's incredible He goes she works for UCLA but in conjunction with NASA I go is she a rocket scientist and he goes well She works on the pieces for the the pieces that go for the rocks at NASA. You made it sound like she

Like she's fucking in a rocket see that she was it like a little Bobby exaggerate When he meets but when he's talking about people and what they do a little yeah, hmm We're gonna add another minute tonight for your tear set Just a couple of minutes extra minutes Tell me yeah, if we if this goes well This thing that we're doing do you want to do a bad friends tour or no? Yeah, because last time we talked about it. You were a little skeptical in fact you didn't even tell me you wanted a tour until Listen, I think that we should do this. I think but here's what I'm willing to do. I'm willing to do like

How about if I do 15 20 minutes on stage and stand up you do 30 whatever you want to do, right? Then we do come out together and do the come out together, but we also do a podcast almost Yeah, you come out and do the show we do a live podcast How do we do if we could do it somehow where we do the life has about to do a little stand up I also do a little double thing, right and then Jules is there too on stage, right? If we go on tour you're going Yeah, when does school start in the fall? August 30 August 30th. Yeah, and and then what do you have to do for school? Can you do stuff online?

Does it it can't it doesn't have to be in person? Yeah, it doesn't have to be in person dude the world has changed so much That's insane to me. You can just now she can tour you can tour with us And she doesn't have to worry about missing anything because we just have to have internet for her You have to get those little uh, what are those? You know like mobile hotspots or whatever. That's what we need to do. Yeah Dude, what a life. No, honestly, let's book some dates and let's try one. We will know like in August I'm serious. Let's do it because that's funny because Speaking of Rudy's popularity, which is a little much. She was getting drunk at your house, dude

She was on four white claws not even just let me say something shit-faced because when I looked over and I said she's blitz I said, what are you doing over there, Rudy? And she goes fuck off. That's what she said by the pool fuck off Yeah, I did not like it. I didn't like the attitude, but she said black cherry. That's what she said Yeah, child but cows channels because he's my favorite Because he's my favorite big on Bacowski now. Yeah No, yeah, you know you are I feel cool up that she's She's no longer a high schooler. I can see it now She's a cut now. She's an adult to you. Well, she put a half a tank of gas in the

Car, which is cool. Did you really? I Put full not half How it was a fall has that the first time you've ever pumped your own gas. No, I did it. Well, he was away Yeah, it was a fall. It was a fault. No, it wasn't full. It was full. I swear on my mother's life It wasn't you're just blind to Bobby. Whoa He's not gonna swear on his mother's life or something. That's not true speaking of which we still need to go out to Phoenix and see your mom We will I'm just blind. Yeah another minute What is that five now? Yeah, it's six minutes. Oh six minutes now. Yeah

You listen you keep amping it up. This is what you're gonna get into What's the male Karen Chad Chad that's what they do the chat. Yeah So Chad is the male Karen. Yeah, you've seen this guy. You know this guy So for the context Bob show me the video see he says the n-word He's yelling at someone who's recording and he and then he's bold enough to give his address Yeah, it's the best and okay. Let's play the video and then you know play the play video You can't do shit, that's me talking shit This guy does a fucking slam dunk ball water ball right here basically watch what this guy does right this guy's the best

We got to get this guy on a podcast podcast. There's a D1 athlete. Here's a D1 athlete ready. Yeah Look at these hops watch dude in the hat So wait a minute he got pelted with bottles that's out of it. Did they police escort him away? Is that what it was? Well, they arrested him for um harassment Cuz he was harassing someone. Yeah, right, so you know, but they really they really went there cuz they didn't want to get killed Yeah, he's handcuffed, right? And he's like also they broke the windows of his house

Yeah, you don't yell the n-word and then say your address and say come see me Dumb your address my address to your enemy I would give your address I give your address and then your address You don't give your own address what kind of dipshit goes yeah come see me You attack an entire race of people and go come to my house, right? And you're not in the south. No dude You're in New Jersey. Yeah, you're in Jersey Not hard to get to not hard to get to the fact that this by the way The you know, you know, I feel kind of bummed for these cops are getting pelted with shit. Yeah

And they're like all we're trying to do is get this racist out of here So you guys don't kill him and we have to clean up a murder scene. I'll tell you why because when you The video that we saw in the before There was it's a longer video. Of course. There's a moment where do you know the whole context of the video? The moment he's saying all these racial stuff like these whatever whatever. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There's a cop there. Oh Oh, right. Oh, and then he's like he can't do nothing You know, the White Nations like I know the law. You mean I can say whatever I want They all know the law by the way. These guys are big. They're the lawyers, you know, they're all lawyers

Yeah, white nationalists are all lawyers. Yeah, that's my favorite thing on the internet. They go. I know my rights. Yeah, do you? Yeah, do you grade school dropout? Do you really know your rights? But let's take first amendment, right? They go I'm exercising my first amendment, right? No, man, you can't yell racial epithets in the street regardless. It's like but these two people too are exercising their rights Well, not to throw bottles at your That's just karma. I know but to show up to show up. Yeah, that's it. Yeah, they can show up at your house Yeah, and protest your house. Yeah, and protest you as a human

Hitting you in the face of the bottle illegal, but also fun funny funny funny check check on very funny Hey, man, turns out you can't yell the n-word in the street and then give your address and then expect people not to show up And hit you in the face with stuff. Yeah, just a vague. That's an I hey by the way if you hate black people or anybody Don't yell it in the street and then give your address Simple rule. I would love to have a time machine simple rule go back in the past, you know back like if it escaped Like a slave escaped a plantation. Mm-hmm white people would gather together with torches like just like this But off the opposite and hunt this person down. Yeah, right. Yeah, I would love to go back in the past and just have this video I'm not laughing at what you're saying. I know where your head is going and just and to look at these white people and go

This is the future Yeah, they would blow their minds. Yeah, be careful what you're doing now because this is the future Yeah, show that go back to right under the play button to scrub scroll back. Yeah scrub to there Here's where we watch our boy dunk one more time. Let's watch him dunk one more time You push pa I'll give you all that props you can turn the music off Yeah, if you give me the if you pause on it at the right spot, okay, go and Mid hop ready and now Beautiful beautiful

The hops. Yeah, look at the hook. You know what also for better grippage. Mm-hmm the glove Oh, he's got a glove on for better grippage because he was like if I'm throwing water bottles, you know, I'm bringing a glove Yeah, yeah So it doesn't slip, you know, I mean Because the water doesn't right genius genius now. Let's see how hard he throws it. Let's press play Really good rotation really the follow-through was incredible. It's a spike. It's a it's a volleyball spike It was a spike did volleyball coaches all over the country. Yeah, we've got your guy press play and

Right, I mean look at look at the elevation scholarship. Look at the D1 D1 scholarship. Hello, UCLA Yeah, I have your guy this guy's the best look at the elevation Elevation he used another human shoulder as a shoulder pop perfect if you're gonna jump Look at let's do it one more time if you're gonna jump and ready to look at this Well, he's holding on to hit one of his buddies Yeah, it's like the Olympics where they put going the hobby horse thing the pommel horse. Yeah, he's pommel horse thing another person That's amazing. This is sprinkled with some whites out there. Yeah, they got some love They got some local white support. Look at there's a grocery bag. Someone was just shopping trying to get home

somebody was just coming home from Peter Joe's speaking of The Olympics that Shikari Richardson thing is bullshit. Oh the weed thing. It's bullshit go on Her mom died. Yeah two weeks before it. Yeah, she wanted to smoke a little weed Yeah, the problem is it's no, there's no problem. No, no, here's my thing. There's no problem I think I think it's bullshit that weed is still federally illegal. That's our bigger problem So the Olympics Committee now is obeying by the rules of the federal government Yeah, which the whole thing is is fucked up because

You're a lot. They're allowed to approve certain drugs. Yeah, right? Yeah, you can take Advil. I can tell pain relief I can even take cortisol. Yeah, okay to but because it's still federally legal. They still obeyed by the federal law. Yeah My bigger question is why is it still federally legal? It's it's crazy. Why is it that I'm in the state that I'm in I can smoke pot on my porch with my family Yeah, I can go home and I can smoke a big joint. Yep, I can't kids. Well, no But I mean seriously, yeah, and with your grandparents and we're good the moment I cross an invisible line Yeah, an invisible estates are invisible lines. Yeah, now you go you can go to prison for that For life the dumbest shit. I've ever heard in my life. It's dumb my bigger problem. The Olympics thing is bad

I feel bad, but how is this still illegal? I can't it? That's the broader that's the broader problem. Well, no because I'm looking at it from I'm saying I understand why people are mad about it But moreover it goes. How come we can't go? Can we fix this already and just make it federally legal? Get this over with because this is the kind of stuff where you go. This is why This is why the country Hates each other is because certain states have certain laws that don't abide by other states and other laws and just because of that The politics come into play. It's all bullshit. It's all bullshit. Yeah, but let these people smoke pot It infringes on no one's rights. We can let the states do what they want to do for their own people

I think it should be federally legal across the board. They want to do what they want to do with their own people Let the people do what they want to do with their own people. Yeah, I feel bad. I feel bad for that chick I think it sucks. I think it's fucking bullshit But also a performance enhancement drug. Oh Michael Phelps won fucking the most gold medals of all time and he was an avid pot Smoker. Yeah, what happened there? Nothing. Hey, but was he tested and well he would he would pass those tests before he went to swim Yeah, I guess that's her bad the timing part of it is like lady. Yeah. Yeah, don't you know you got a run in the Olympics? Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's my other side of the story is I'm like, it's bullshit

But also someone should have gone shikari. Yeah, no You guys might pay for the run in a fucking Olympics Like if shikari was at the the weed party with the circle, you know, there's passing the you're passing the joint and I was next to I'll be like, you know, I get it right. Mm-hmm No, you wouldn't You'd be in so enamored by the fact that you're with one of the greatest like Olympic runners of all time She's like, I'm not supposed to because I'm running and you're like, maybe a little bit No, I think I'd be like nah

You got a run shikari. You're like, you're in Olympics. You're an Olympics girl. We can't give it to you Wouldn't you do that as a friend though? If I was running. No, cuz let me tell you something. Yeah floating I'm friends with certain pro athletes. Yeah, I wouldn't if I was getting high with a pro athlete But knew that they're not supposed to get high. I wouldn't stop them. It's not my job. They're adults Who am I to tell him not to smoke pot? You know, I mean Who am I your friend? I know, but it's not my bit It's not he could be like shut the fuck up bitch and I'd be like, okay

Here's the weed the shikari thing. But by the way, it is it's a two-sided story to me I feel bad for her because it's bullshit. Yeah But at this these two things can coexist, but at the same time That's my problem, it's a two-way street. It's a bummer. It's also bullshit. I also Bullshit let her run. Of course they should you didn't you didn't you didn't you didn't violate Personality a great vibe the amount of Olympians that cheat and use HGA. I know dude What do you mean Lance Armstrong was like, uh, yeah, we all were taking steroids. Yeah Oh every fucking buddy the Tour de France was all steroids, but maybe that's a lesson to learn

Maybe a future Olympic runners will be like what rumor shikari and what happened to shikari? I think the bigger issue again is yes It is a lesson, but it's a lesson that our country should federally legalize a fucking plant that has literally no performance enhancing fucking bit No, there's no scientific research that has been proven to find that marijuana gives you a scientific edge or I mean a A prefer for you would be a would deter somebody I mean that's like hurt them kind of the old joke is like Oh, you get sleepy and hungry. You wouldn't want to run But it's like but some people do use it during performance. I know guys that smoke pot and go for long runs They only will run when they're stone

I know do that smoke pot and lift weights and act in scenes. Oh, please. What do you mean? I've been with those guys Yeah, there's guys. How do you fucking do that? What is it Keenan from SNL? They say he stoned the whole time. Yeah, but he's but he's a Professional pot smoker. That's what it when you smoke pot all the time your body's used to you've been Would you be able to act? No, I'd be just sleepy. Yeah sleepy so sleepy the point is It's bullshit. Let her fucking run also legalized pot Can we grow up in legalized pot and because our tonight show show tonight is gonna feature Rudy Jules? I want her to end the show, you know last time people got mad. We didn't say thank you for being a bad friend

Yeah, so we're gonna do it now all of us in the room as loud as we can on the count of three you guys too Thank you Look at me One Three Bob One two three. Thank you for being a bad friend