Bad Friends - Fat Skinny Eyes

Episode Date: December 1, 2025

Get MORE Bad Friends at our Patreon!! https://www.patreon.com/c/badfriends Thank you to our Sponsors: Dominos, Kachava & BlueChew • Dominos: Order now at https://dominos.com • Kachava: Your future self will thank you. Go to https://kachava.com and use code BADFRIENDS for 15% off your next order. • BlueChew: Get 10% off your first month of BlueChew Gold with code BADFRIENDS. YouTube Subscribe: http://bit.ly/BadFriendsYouTube Audio Subscribe: https://apple.co/31Jsvr2 Merch: http://badfriendsmerch.com 0:00 Bobby's Purse 5:00 Fat Skinny Eyes 10:00 Harry Potter Glasses 15:00 It's By Design 20:00 Half Soup/Half Sandwich 25:00 The Closer 30:00 Warrior Blood 35:00 Back In My Day 40:00 Sleep Cycle 45:00 The Red House 50:00 Pickled Carrots 55:00 Bobby's Impressions 1:00:00 No More Presents More Bobby Lee TigerBelly: https://www.youtube.com/tigerbelly Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bobbyleelive Twitter: https://twitter.com/bobbyleelive Tickets: https://bobbylee.live More Andrew Santino Whiskey Ginger: https://www.youtube.com/andrewsantinowhiskeyginger Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino Twitter: https://Twitter.com/cheetosantino Tickets: http://www.andrewsantino.com More Fancy SOS VHS: https://www.youtube.com/@7equis Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/fancyb.1 More Bad Friends iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-friends/id1496265971 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/badfriendspod/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/badfriends_pod Official Website: http://badfriendspod.com/ Opening Credits and Branding: https://www.instagram.com/joseph_faria & https://www.instagram.com/jenna_sunday Credit Sequence Music: http://bit.ly/RocomMusic // https://www.instagram.com/rocom Character Design: https://www.instagram.com/jeffreymyles Bad Friends Mosaic Sign: https://www.instagram.com/tedmunzmosaicart Produced by: 7EQUIS https://www.7equis.com/ Podcast Producer: Andrés Rosende This video contains paid promotion. #bobbylee #andrewsantino #badfriends #sponsored #ad Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey, bad friends. I am so excited to announce that this weekend, December 6th in Los Angeles at L.A. Valley College, I am putting together the first annual Ho Ho Homers, a home run derby event for Southern California Special Olympics. I would love to see you out there from noon to four. Come and donate. There's crazy silent auction items, autographed jerseys, all sorts of merch, tickets, events. You can win a foursome to play golf with me at Sherwood Country Club in Beautiful Thousand Oaks, California. Please come out and see us December 6th, L.A. Valley College. If you are out of the L.A. area, you just want to donate and support Southern California Special Olympics.

Go to the link that's in the description down below. It's sOSC.org slash ho-ho homers. We'll put the link down below. But happy holidays and hope to see you there. Hey, guess what, guys? We have new merch and check this shirt out. I love this shirt because this is when I almost died. That's when you almost died out back.

It's one of the most traumatic moments, Bobby Blading. It's a great shirt. We have it on a long sleeve like that. We have it on a short sleeve. And we also have this hoodie, this white hoodie right here. We love it. Grab one today for the holiday season for you, your family, your friends. Who cares?

Get one. Go to bad friendsmerch.com. Bad friendsmerch. You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots. A white dude and an Asian dude. You two are disgusting. Oh, you two or something.

We're bad friends. Why are you making fun of Fanny Packs? You know, Yoshinobu Yamamoto of the Dodgers is big into bags. Do you know about this? Yeah. Look at his bag collection. This is the new thing. Asian men with bags is a huge deal.

And that's why I'm into it because I'm an Asian man. I like bags. Look at the bag I got. Let me see your bag. Okay, so I come in here and Andreas, our producer. Andres. Andres. Andres.

Right. I call him Andreas when he's acting like that. Take him back a peg. Yeah. He picks up my bag. and he starts prancing around the podcast room like look at me you know what I'm gay you know what I mean and I went and I listen as a as a man as an Asian man I I love bags you do love bags yeah could you carry a purse do you think that's not a joke no many men are carrying this is a purse

no that's a fanny pack but I have everything and you want to see what's in it let's see Open up your purse. Okay. So we got notes. A joke notes. Joke notes. My phone. Okay, yeah, you need that.

And then, you check it out. Cologne. Got to have it. Got to smell good. Right. And I have side pockets too. Hold on what's in the side pocket here. That's like my wife's.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Neutralema acne patches. Acne patches are useful. Yeah, very useful. We need all this stuff. And that's pretty much all that's in an airport. pod, a lighter,

and a listerine thing for my breath. All this stuff adds up. Yeah. You're a single man. You're supposed to stick that shit in your pocket? No way. Actors are, what is that? Across Asia, why are more men carrying women's handbags?

Exactly. I'm telling you, it's becoming a new thing. Look at these are both men with very nice handbags. Yeah. They don't want to have sex anymore. I think it's a new thing. Yeah. And by the way, that's not true because their birth rate is through the roof.

guys. They can't stop. Maybe this will slow it down. Yeah, yeah. This is a population stopper. Now that's too far. Why? Why? When there's a thing where you actually carry it with your hand, I don't think I could go to that level. You're saying it's okay if it goes straps to your body. Because

I don't do this around my waist. I mean, I do this thing where it's like, you know what I mean? Nonchalon is. Like nonchalot around the shoulder. So it's almost like a back, it's like a side back back. It's like a side bag. And then sometimes I'm at the airport and I have my backpack, right? Clip the backpack

and I put this in the front like this. Oh, a front pack. Like a front pack. So I have a backpack and a front pack, right? And I don't know what you're laughing so hysterically right now, my friend, because you're about to get it. I mean, it does look, it looks comfortable. It looks nice. Yeah, yeah. It's a fashion item as well. It's a fashion item. It's a, it's one more piece. It's a piece. Yeah. And it's Ironheart, which they do great jeans. Look at this. Fine African American man Black man You're so afraid to say black guy for a second

Yeah yeah yeah Look at this fine But man There's LeBron LeBron with a bag Always with the Louie But that's a But that's a duffel bag

That's a different thing Duffles are their own category That's a purse Yeah well Tell me the difference Between a duffel bag and a purse then Okay look A duffel bag is a male

Except Look at that I know Do you even know who that is? Tyler the Craters Sure Here's the my logic A duffel bag is a man's bag that is little purse leaning.

A fanny pack can be a man's bag that is a little fem leaning. And then if you have a purse, there's a straight up purse. Yeah. Harry Stiles with a purse. Yeah. And that's a little, that's very femme. That's very. You're in the middle.

You're by. Yeah. A fanny pack is by. Okay, it's by. You're by. Okay, I'm by. We know. Fashion wise.

Well, I'm fashion by. There's a transference of life. Yeah. Your bags are your life. Yeah. Fashion is life. Is it not? I'm not bisexual.

All right. But anyway, who's this? Jacob All right. Oh, my God, look at that. Well, look at it. And now, let me say that you pick up that yellow bag, the JJ Jacob Alars and do you do it in front of him. He'll rip you. He'll stretch you out.

J.J. Gabor? That's so gay to say that thing. What? Rip and stretch you out. I'm talking about his butthole. Yeah. He will rip, stretch.

Your bottle will look like the Joker's mouth in like two minutes. Stitches. the whole thing, dude, all right? Watch your fucking face. I apologize. All right. Look up Yoshinoba Yamamoto's bag collection. This guy, for the Dodgers, he's got one of the most iconic bag.

People, people, uh... Here we go shopping again. Post about him all the time. Yeah. Go to all. Go to all. We're just on images. Not even shopping.

There you go. Just do his bag collection. There's got to be a video about it. What about his bag? Let's go through some of them. And now this guy doing the announcements, he's not gay. Yeah. turquoise retailing at $11,600 made from calf leather with cowhide trim his teammate

Kike also has one aw twins then we have the Chanel 22 this is a bad that's a purse in a shiny calf skin I tried this on in a burgundy major regret not getting it very chic on him the Chanel doesn't stop there he's also a lover of a you're also very chic yeah I want him to do what what why am I again and Bobby Lee and Bobby Lee has an iron heart and it says engineers on it it's very um leather right shake

shake and um it really goes with his torso it does yeah it's almost it's like it's an attachment to his own body like a limb that's right yeah it's interesting because you've lost weight now so you're putting on more things yeah you know you need more stuff

on you also um I have um I still have fat eyes no you don't no what I'm some would argue you have A fat day Very skinny eyes Very thin Yeah

I don't meet it in that sense I don't either Yeah yeah Okay yeah That's good I'm sorry You have skinny eyes You have skinny eyes

Yeah very skinny eyes I would say I have medium eyes Medium eyes But when I look at myself In the mirror I still see a fat guy See that will that ever go away Do you think?

I don't know But I'll like I'll do bends And see where the fat is And go I gotta lose that You know what I mean? See, this is the problem that they say. You continue to move the goalposts.

You've lost a lot of weight. Now you still want to lose more. When does it end? Until I look like Karen Carpenter. Oh my God. Yeah, yeah. Body dysmorphia, that's what we... Body dysmorphia, that's what it is.

It's a mental health condition where a person spends a lot of time worrying about their flaws and their appearances. But you don't have many flaws. I have a flat ass. No, I think you got to have tiny little bumps in it, too. I don't know why. Those are the dimples in your tush? Yeah.

little dimples. Do you have dimples? Yeah, yeah. And they're my favorite one. When you, on yours, you're my, that's my favorite place to bite. Okay. Bumps on your butt can be caused by acne, inflammation. That's not it. No, I think it's just, it's just age. I think it's life. Yeah. You're not going to have a perfect round butt the rest of your life. That's impossible. I mean, Carlos does have a perfectly round butt. He has a nice butt, yeah. But that's just genetics. Latin, yeah. Right. Yeah. Well, no, because Fancy doesn't have a nice butt. No. We've never seen it. See it. Let's see it. Well, just Google a porg's butt. He's back at it with his,

did he hear you out? Oh, there's a little porky right there and that's the pork bot. Yeah. He's very Harry Potter today. Did you watch the movies or what's going on here? I played a video game last night. Okay, okay.

Oh, very good. Good callback. Good callback for something that people even know what you're talking about. Yeah. No, but you do, you are, you have layers on today. This is, this is going to be the future of bad weather coming in.

The kid's got the sweater with the sweater and the collared shirt. Double sweater collared shirt It is cute It is cute though Oh it makes it looks like it's two Yeah Wow

Wait wait It's one sweater that has Like a stitching No be real Stick your hand between Oh my god You know what this like It's like a clip on tie

It's like it's a clip on tie It's a clip on tie Yeah Oh my god This is like they made those jackets Which had hoodies Stitched inside of them You've seen that

And they're not real hoodies This is the same thing I kind of like it. Where do you get that? Desiwal. Desiwal. That visual, too? Oh, they have that.

Deadstock, though. They don't make this anymore. This guy, it's worth money now at this point. Yeah, yeah. He'll have the largest collection of Desiwal. And all that has the symbol on it? Yeah. Okay.

Yeah, the symbol I don't. If it was just nothing, that would be cool. Okay, good. Yeah. And do you always wear those glasses? Or are they new? He's been wearing those since we know. Okay.

I think with that outfit, it's very Harry Potter. Are those? new glasses though a new design uh yes they're like fairly new like seven eight months oh wow the whole year you've had those yeah wow have you just noticed them now they look different today they look different you know what it is though he's got a little pep in his step i'm guessing he doesn't with his hair too what's going on there it's a crunch it's like it's new he's trying to be young yeah right you know oh he just waved his he just waved it you know what happened i wish turkey didn't exist Why?

Because that's where he got his hair done. Oh, that's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's cheating. You're cheating. I'm guessing your wife. I'm guessing your wife and you had a little fun today. That's why you're in a good book.

Am I right? You are right. See, I knew it. That's what it is. Yeah, when his balls are full, he's more annoyed. Yeah. Now he feels light and airy because he's empty. Exactly.

Yeah. That time of the year, you know. Yeah. How long does it last a minute, too? How long does it? Him? Yeah, yeah. What do you think?

I think she just makes, I think she makes, I think she makes, him pleasure her and he doesn't he has to go in the bathroom when it's over and oh right she doesn't want to see that yeah she did it once they had a kid it's over she's done they don't want to do that anymore it must be fun for you huh yeah very good don't that wink is so creepy i got a girl i had a girl uh after the show ask me for your number and would you tell me 1 to 10 what is it 1 through 10 what is it i mean her look her look yeah To you. You have different parameters.

I think in the social world she'd be a seven or an eight. Yeah. Yeah. And I didn't give her your number. Why? Well, that'd be inappropriate. Just giving out your number?

Do you get her Instagram account? No. That's not helping. She said, can I please have Bobby's number? I said, just DM him. I can't give you his number. That's not appropriate. You want me to give out your number to people?

I'm not doing that. But use your own judgment is what I'm saying. This woman I met for five tenths of a second. How can I judge her? She said I'm such a big fan of you guys Is there any way you can give me Bobby's number? One to ten That's how you judge it

Seven So I gave her I gave her What is that? I gave her two thirds of your number Yeah She has to guess the rest Because McCone set me up

Because she's real We've been talking Oh really? Yeah yeah Who's this girl? Some random person Slid into my DMs And it was like

I want to get in contact with Bobby Yeah And I screen shot at it And I just text Is she good looking? Yeah And you guys have been chatting Yeah

Text or DM DM? DM. So it's not ready yet. But she wants to FaceTime. That's so strange. Why? Why does she need to FaceTime?

I need to FaceTime. Oh, you? That's your thing. Yeah, because it's like, she lives in Canada. Oh, this is another one of these things. What? This is never going to come to fruition. Yeah, well.

You're really going to fly her down? Well, you know, I remember I did that, they did that girl from Spokane. That happened. Yeah, but that's because you met her in Spokane and then it continued. You never met this human being. Oh, but I did that a couple of times in New York. And one time it was a disaster One time didn't work out so well

Yeah, we remember how that went Yeah, yeah There was two from New York One was a disaster, yeah One was a absolute nightmare Can we say that? I don't know She was hammered at 10 in the morning

Yeah, she was alcoholism Hammered Yeah 10 a. But do you remember You guys want me to get you coffee? She was drooling at breakfast I know, but do you remember

when that was the first After my breakup with Kalila That was the first That was the first girl. Yeah, so I didn't know any different. Well, you knew now. I know now. I would never.

How far in Canada is this Canadian girl? Vancouver. Oh, that's not far. That's not far. No, Western Canada, I think you can do. You can do Western Canada. Yeah, but once you get east of Alberta, it gets tough. You're not going over there.

Yeah. You're not doing Winnipeg. Yeah. It's just fun, you know, getting to know somebody. What is the most engaging part for you? What do you mean? What are you interested the most in this part of the dating thing? of this, like this little nook of time.

Okay, well, there's... Is it the banter? No, no, no, no. Here's what... I look for the negatives. Okay. Body dysmorphia, again. No, it's not body dysmorphia.

Only looking for the negatives. No, no, like, you know what I mean? Does she have a drinking problem? Right. Right? Because, you know what I mean? We had that problem before. We did.

Right? So you go, okay, you can kind of sense, how much do you party? Oh, do you party? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And what did they say? I party sometime. Okay, you be the girl.

I'll ask okay all right are we on FaceTime right now yeah oh yeah hey hold on I can't do you see me I see that I see you hear me can you hear me can you hear me no no you're like cut it in and out oh I'm not but but no oh I see you now but hey hey hi hi sorry oh my god yeah so much cuter than I thought you were yeah you too wow yeah what's up yeah what's I mean um What's going on? This is it? The game master again. What?

The gang master. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's the game master. No, it's on design. It's by design. It's by design, I mean. It's by design, right? Make it awkward.

Hey, is that, are you in your place? Is that your place behind you? Yeah. There's cat poop on the couch. Yeah. That's cool. I have cats. Is that a design thing?

Yeah, it's a design thing. It's all by design. So what do you want to know about me, Bobby? Yeah. So you do a lot of yoga, huh? Five or six days a week. Oh, that's great. Well, I'm a yoga teacher.

So that... Oh, dude, you know, I'll be honest with you. I had an instructor during COVID. Her name was Kara from Hawaii. And I did a lot of yoga. And I just felt like that was the best time I've ever felt in my life. I don't know if I care about other girls, hearing about other girls. No, she was at my yoga instructor happened to be a woman.

Sure, but I don't... Yeah. It's about me right now. Not Kara. Sensitive, huh? A little bit. Yeah? My last boyfriend was, my last boyfriend cheated on me with a yoga instructor.

Yeah? I became a yoga instructor. Oh, is that why? Yeah, I was a kindergarten teacher before this. That's weird. It's a little strange. Yeah, yeah. But I mean, you're a little strange.

Yeah. You know, it's like, you know, my ex-girlfriend was a hitman, you know. And she cheated me with a hitman, and now I'm a hitman. You know, it doesn't make any. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway.

I mean you took it there Already it's weird I feel like that's a real conversation That would happen I don't think that she would say like I don't want to talk about Your female yoga instructor That's fucking weird

Maybe she doesn't want to Alright let's just She might be insecure And see you have to Yeah my male Yoga instructor Oh cool So you love yoga

Do you still do it? No I haven't done it yet Well I'm just so busy Maybe if we hang out we can do yoga together. I would love to. I'd like to start back again. Let's do it.

You could teach me? Yeah. Oh, but that'd be fun. Yeah. In fact, I could even, you know, pay a little something to classes online. I don't want money.

I just, I want your company. Wow, that's cool. Yeah. Yeah. What else do you do? Um, I don't know,

like, I like yoga. I like getting macho lattes in the morning. You look at the machin latte. I love them. Oh, who doesn't love a macha latte? I love them. I like taking long walks. I have seven dogs.

Seven dogs. Well, they're not mine. I'm a dog. I walk people's dogs. Oh, that's cool. It's like a side hustle. Yeah, it's a little side job. Yeah, yeah.

I have a bunch of side jobs. I have four dogs. Oh, you do? Yeah. I'd love to walk your dogs. It's impossible. They're in my freezer. Oh.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're frozen solid. No. Burial. Oh, you, okay. When it's my time. Cool. Do you like to party?

What? Do you like to party? I'm sober. Who are you looking at in your house? You keep looking over there in your house. house, is there someone there? No, I'll be honest with you, sweetheart. Can I call your sweetheart?

Please. Yeah. My dad used to call me, sweetheart. Well, that's weird because my dad's ghost is next to me. Really? That's what I'm looking at. Who are you talking to? What are you talking to?

Yep, that's him. Who is that? It's my dad. Tell him I said hi. Anyway. Anyway. Bye. No.

No. Don't go. What was your last relationship? I was married. I was married for two and a half years. Wow, what happened? I mean, we got a divorce. That was my third marriage.

You've been married three times, huh? Yeah. Kids? Yeah. Oh, how many? I have four with my first husband, two with my second husband, and I'm pregnant right now. Yeah, I go. I'm out.

You don't want to be a dad with me? Seven kids. Yeah, three different... No, there's no way, no. But they're all involved. Okay, who's involved? The kids are involved with what? No, no, the dads are all involved in their lives.

They're all wonderful men. Yeah, yeah, I don't want to meet them. They're all NBA players. Yeah. I have, you know, could be honest with you? Yeah. I had a girl that hit me up, you know, recently. Are we talking as us now?

Are we out of the bit? No, I'm telling the girl. Yeah. Who, you know what I mean? All her boyfriends were like NBA players, and I couldn't do it. Why? Because it's like, you know, I don't know if it shrinks back, you know? Oh, it does.

But I'm still interested in you. I don't know how sometimes... Bobby, you know how sometimes... Yeah, I don't know if it shrinks back, you know? You know how sometimes you only want half a sandwich? Yeah. That's the kind of stage I'm at right now. And you have some soup, too.

Half a soup? I would love it. I would love a sandwich. You like creamy soup? I love creamy. Okay, all right. With clams in it? Yeah, I got clams in mine.

That is funny. That's when a girl goes from NBA players back to her. regular guys. That is the order. Domino. Hey, how you doing? Hey, hey, Tone, how you doing? I'm pretty good around here. Okay, good. I got some Domino's pizza. Well, you got one of those specialty pizzas. I got a special day pizza. This has Italian sausage on a pepperoni. A little bit of ham. Yeah. A little bit of ham on. This is the mitsa. Yeah. Italian sausage, pepperoni, ham, all beef sandwich between two layers of provolone cheese made 100% mozzarella.

Oh, you know what I got? What do you got? Frank? extravaganza my friend Tony Tony Don't check this What are they got on that Estabagana? I'll tell you what they got man Pepparoni

Am Italian sausage beef fresh onions fresh green peppers fresh mushrooms black olives all sandwich between two layers of provolone and cheese

made up with 100% real mozzarella mamamamia and I'll tell you this the guys love it too Carlos which is your favorite what's your favorite Domino's pizza

that we've had in the studio A specialty one? Yeah Spinach and feta. Spinach and feta. See, he's always looking out for his weight. He wants to have a thin little waist. Spinach of feta a little healthier.

I like the spicy chicken and bacon ranch. Load it up. Give it to me. Okay? Hey, bro. Welcome to Hawaii, dude. Honolulu. Wakaliki, wakaliki.

Makaliki, wakaliki. You know what? Honolulu Hawaiian, bro. The Honolulu Hawaiian pizza. I love it. Yeah. Delicious. You're a big fan of pineapple on pizza.

I love it. Never ending debate. But Bobby Lee loves Hawaiian pizza. especially the high-le-lid like I also like dude Pacific veggie did yeah when you're honest day healthier down by the beach

yeah when I'm sitting by the beach and I'm listening to Sublime and I want myself a pizza I'm gonna get myself a Pacific veggie dude that's right dude Anyway dude check out Domino's new specialty pizzas you know Domino specialty pizzas are delicious

unique and fun and they got all sorts of new stuff like we said the people's pizza the deluxe spicy chicken bacon rant ultimate pepperoni Memphis barbecue chicken they got it all plus Wisconsin shout out to my old neighbors of the north with six cheese Wisconsin I didn't even know that was six cheese me neither dude I can only name four of them but dominoes has got them so you got to try them out today order yourself some dominoes

kachava you guys um this is my new favorite flavor from kachava let me as you guys know right I'm a huge fan of this brand big time um I think that all other flavors tastes like what they're advertising I think all the nutrients you know I feel so much better when I drink it right? And this new flavor that I have is called chocolate mint, and I love it so much, all right? Tell them about the Cachava. Chachava has 25 grams of 100% plant-based protein, including six indulgent flavors of chocolate, vanilla, chai, macha, coconut, assay, strawberry, and of course, that chocolate mint that is so very good. It's all the good stuff your mind and body need. I feel so much lighter, clearer,

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Code bad friends for 50% off. I was scared coming in today. Me too, man. No, no, no. Flying in today. Me too, man. Because the rain, I got scared. It was bad raining, dude.

It was crazy raining. It was raining in clouds. I was leaving Phoenix for this storm that just passed, and then coming into here, and I was like, I hate it. I hate little baby planes in the sky. You took a private plane? No, no, no, no. It was a, what do you call?

Regional jet, you know, where it's like not a lot of seats. and I was like... Buddy Holly style. Ooh, yeah. I got a little nervous about it. I hate that. I don't mind if... When Richie Valenz?

Richie Valenz. Yeah, Richie Valenz. I died too. And the Big Bopper. The Big Bopper. Yeah. I don't know much about him, do you? I don't know anything about the Big Bopper,

other than the name is fun. Yeah, but I know about Richie and... You know about Richie Valens? Yeah. What do you know about him? I mean? I saw the movie, La Bamba. What do you remember about him?

I remember he had a brother who was a cartoonist Do you remember? Yeah? Yeah. Donna was the white girl in high school that he was in love with, right?

And there was like, they couldn't get together because of racial discriminations from her side of the family. Isn't that sad that the family would do that to you? Even he's a fucking rock star. Rock star.

And they're like, no, no way. We got to bring that back. what racial discrimination but that's still kind of out there parents that don't let you date the other race I'm sure if no I mean like you know you'll go to like

dantanas yeah right and you'll just be at the bar eating a spaghetti and then you'll go you'll turn to you know me and a couple of Hollywood Hollywood socialites they're always there they're always there right at that place yeah yeah yeah

and you go hey what are you eating they're like hmm they don't know you. What do you mean? I'm... Fuck you, man. No, if they knew you...

No, I'll tell you something. If they knew you... No, I'm a human being, dude. Just acknowledge my presence. They don't need to. You're at the bar, Dan Tannas. That's Socialite Express. If you didn't want that, go sit at a table by yourself.

Okay. So you're begging for the attention. You want it. That's why you went up to... No, there was no seats at one time that I went there. Oh. All we have is the bar, so I'm eating the speaking and go, Hey, what's eating?

I'm nothing. Yeah. And they completely ignore you. want to engage. That's, I think, you know what I mean, either, I don't know what, to me, I always perceive it as racism. That's not racism. You're a guy, they're a girl, they don't want to talk to you. You don't think that's racism? A little bit. Not at Dan Tannis, they know you got money. So if I was James, if I look like, if I look like James Franco, you think they'd still do it? Well, he's better looking. All right. It's based on look. It's not racist. Look. By the way,

if you were Michael B. Jordan, they'd be talking to you and he's black. Okay. These are white girls. Benedict Wong. They would ignore him. No. All right, let me throw the names out. You throw a name. I'll tell you if the two white girls would talk to. Okay. Issaid Morales.

Absolutely, yes. They talk. They would talk to Issaid Marales. 100%. Even though he's Hispanic. Yeah, he's handsome. Okay. When he was alive, Philip Seymour Hoffman.

Did they know who he is or no? No. They don't know. No, they won't talk to him. Wow. Yeah. They don't know who Jack Black is. Jack Black, they'll talk to.

They know him. But if they didn't. They do. Everybody does. I know. He's too famous. Yeah. Yeah, that's a tough one.

How about Jeffrey Jones? Yeah, probably. You know what that is? Yeah, probably. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. From Ferris Bueller. Yeah, from Ferris Bueller.

Jeffrey Jones. The principal. The principal to principal. Is he still in prison? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. He's out. He's at Dananas right now.

Yeah, yeah. He's probably working at Danana's. Yeah. What did you do this weekend? Oh, boy. Do you have a busy weekend? Oh, boy, yeah, I'm doing a lot of special prep. With Louis, is he in town?

Yeah, a lot of special prep. Our buddy Louis Katz, who's like one of the funniest comics. We're going to sing a song. Are you writing the song? Yeah, we're writing the song. Is it the closer? Yeah, and then there's a whole other thing. I don't know if I'll give it away, but...

Well, you don't have to. Yeah, there's going to be a little thing with my dad. How'd you get them? Yeah. Do you book them? No, I'm going to play them. Really? Yeah.

That's fun. Yeah. This is going to be great. It's going to be a three-dimensional face of me. Really? Yeah, that's like a hologram on stage. And there's a conversation between him and I. Really?

Yeah, yeah. Do you write the conversation already? Yeah, it's done. Oh, I want to see it. And we tried it on stage in San Francisco. How was that? We had audio. So he had a button.

So it's, you know what I mean? We pretended like he was there. And then I, you know, and we did it back, and it got laughs. It was good. Yeah. Did you cry? There's a crying thing in, like a little, like a moment in there.

Wow. But yeah, I mean, all that, but it's, it's, there's, I've never,

I don't know if you felt this, but I've never felt this much anxiety in my life. Like, even like technical things like, we got a DP. It's like, I don't,

I don't, I don't care. Well, that's why you hired people to take care of it. Yeah, yes, but they tell me about it,

you know what I mean, set design, this and that, you know what I mean? And it's like, it causes me so much anxiety. I don't even know what, I don't know why.

Yeah. You felt that? Yeah. Yeah. It's nerve rack. It's nerve wracking. It sucks. But I mean, you trust people around you.

You hire what you do, you hire good people who are talented that you trust, which we haven't done on this show, but we will get to it at some point. Yeah. Hiring talented people. But then they just do all the stuff that they have your vision in mind and you let them complete it. Yeah. And I think I picked the right director because he, this is his shot. Right.

That's great. And he's so now he's so like. Locked. locked in and just on it. That's cool. You know what I mean? And he wants it to be so good. So he's very strict with me.

That's good. Yeah. That's what you want. Like, how come you didn't do that joke tonight? I'm not really flushed out yet. You have to do it. So he makes me do it. Yeah, you got to see this.

I'm so glad that he's doing that with you. Yeah, yeah. What a good journey. Yeah, it's a good journey. So you worked on it all weekend. Yeah. That and just a lot of video gaming. A lot of video gaming.

Yeah. Too much. Because when I'm in anxiety, you know, Because I'm not masturbating anymore to porn. So that's, there, there goes that. Are you masturbating in general? No. To nothing.

Now why is that? I only alleviate me, uh, myself in front of, um, women. She only enjoy, you only, and that's rare. So it's like, I don't know if it alleviates the word. Yeah, yeah. Release. Or in front of. Yes.

Release? I would say, I would say anytime you're, it's only, it's only for sexual relations. with someone. What's so funny? Release. Yeah, release. Yeah, yeah. Like they're prisoners or something.

No, yeah, yeah. Release the hostages. From the gulog. Release the prisoners from the gulog. Let them out. The way I say. They got to get out. Well, if you look at my sperm,

they're wearing helmets and little swords. I mean, they're not normal. Yeah, yeah, they're fighters. Yeah, yeah. They're survivors. What do you, what do you make, what do you? I mean, when they swim, I'm being real

Look at mine Some of them are sleeping We'll bring some in Yeah So I'm thinking that one of the warriors Will get in When I have a baby one day Yeah yeah

So that's my gut bet You'll make a warrior I think I have warrior blood In my Indiana Yeah Is there look up Is there a history of a warrior With a last name Lee by any chance

Because my great great great grandfather Was the royal commander Of the Korean army or whatever Wow Asian Lee Yeah Bruce Henry Light Horse Harry Lee

Yeah, dude You don't know light horse? Yeah, I know Light Horse. I know Heavy Horse a little bit better But do Asian Lee Bruce Lee outside of Okay, zoom in There's a very famous Asian warrior

The last name, Kurt Chu and Lee The very first Asian commissioned officer In the U.S. Marine Corps Nover is heroics in the Korean War Wow, so that's your... Well, no, I'll go back in the beginning, all right? His name was Kurt Chu It's a sneeze

Kurt Chu Kurt Chu in Li right Yeah But you know that Kurt was his English name Yeah Chu He probably chose it too Where they were like

Hey Chu Get back in line right Garn me Kurt Maybe he like Kirk Cobain Maybe And that's why Yeah

Chew That's a good one Is he still alive Hit that Wikipedia He's not He died in 24 No God bless you God bless you, Kurtzio.

Thank you for your service. Look at how many metals. Oh, my God, look at them. Look at all the metals. Decorated. Yeah. Why are you laughing, dude? I'm not laughing at him.

You know what I always found strange about the metals is just because this is like my OCD. Yeah. They're always on one side. I think they should be balanced. Why wouldn't it be symmetrical? Yeah. Right? Wouldn't you have layers of metals on both sides?

That to me... But imagine if they could just place them wherever they wanted, that would drive me crazy. Oh, no, I think that'd look cool. Like one here, one here. one here, three in the back. I mean, it would drive me crazy. It looks like a NASCAR car. Yeah, yeah.

I like it that it's clumped together on one side. We're pretty close, by the way, for our military being sponsored by businesses to where they're wearing jerseys with their names. All right, right. Like the military, like the Marine Corps sponsored by like Tide pods or something like that. Or Chick-fil-A. Yeah, that's coming.

You know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's like Nashville's hot, Nashville hot chicken. Can you zoom in at the medals, please? Yeah. It would be interesting over who got sponsored. There he is. Yeah, so what, do you know what these medals mean?

You know I don't know what those. Oh, do you, anyone in the room knows what they mean? Honor, valor. I think it's for, I'm not even going to guess. I think, like, service during certain either times of battle or what is it? Find a guy who has the most medals. I don't see how deep it goes. His neck is just hanging.

So heavy on his chest. Who in the military has had the most medals? The most awarded veteran. Veteran. Most decorated veteran. On the jacket, though. Wait, time out before you do this. Stop. You want to guess? I think it's Audie Murphy. I think Audie Murphy was

the most decorated war veteran in American history. And that might be wrong. Audie Murphy. Wow. Wow. That's pretty fucking awesome. Can we see his... He was the most decorated war of it. Isn't that amazing I knew? Oh, really? He got the draggy kind.

Like the jewel. He should have a man bag with him. Yeah, yeah. Put all those metals in. But go to that photo right below in the colored one, the third row to the very far right. Jesus. Look at... No, not that one.

The far right when he's old. That's not him. That's another guy, dude. But I want to see that guy anyway. But click on... That's Audie Murphy. Yeah, I don't like it when they're like bedazzled like that. I like what the little cubes.

No, see, I think this is... Like the chicklet kind. This is little real metals. You like that. I like this. Audie Murphy, I knew he was the most decorated war veteran in American history. The only reason I know that is because I've seen his house. How?

He used to live in this neighborhood. This neighborhood right here? In this neighborhood. No. Yeah. How else would I know that weird fact? He used to have a plaque outside of his house that said this was the home of Audie Murphy commissioned as an historic site, the most decorated war veteran American history.

The house is no longer there. They ripped it down. But they kept this brick thing out front that says the most decorated war veteran. Wow. What year did he die? 71. Oh, my, when I was born. But he lived here in this neighborhood.

That's incredible. So I was at the antennas last night, and I was talking to this guy who's been there. This old man was sitting there, and he was like, a kid, looking comedy. I go, whoa, what's your name? I was Robert. I've been coming here since the 60s. Wow. And I go, what happened here?

You can get whites, downs. You mean, the blue pill. Right at this bar. You can get anything you want you at this bar. Not anymore. No anymore. You just get spaghetti and polonaise. That's all you can get.

You know what I mean? But like pounded chicken or whatever. But you know what I mean? Yeah. Back in the way, you walk down the street, man. Oh my God. You can get late just by walking out. He's still living in the old times in his mind.

Yeah. Back when Santa Monica, he could hustle. Was he gay? No, no, no. Does this sound gay, do you? No, though, this is Steve McQueen, man. I mean, that's the gayest part of West Hollywood. It is in West Hollywood

But listen to my voice Oh, I hear it now Yeah And what did you chat with you? And he had a, you know how they have this? Yeah, one bad eye Yeah, but they're just You know what I mean?

Hey kid, you know They always call you kid Well, because you are To him. To him. Yeah. Hey kiddo. Back of my day

Everyone sat here I mean, like who's everyone? You name them. Yeah. Greta Garbo. No, like Flip Wilson. Oh, Flip Wilson. 60s.

Yeah, yeah, Flip Wilson, you know what I mean? And then they had guys that you didn't even know, but they were local legend. He used to come here all the time. Du Mont DeVry. Do you want to. You know what? And he started DeVry College.

Yeah. You know, you know, the tennis shoes where you put the loops in, the metal, the metal, the metal hole. That's him. Yeah, he put the medals in that. You know what I mean? And you're like, oh, I don't give a fuck. Did you ask what the man did for a living?

Like, who was he? Was he a musician? What I do? I buy proper. pretty for people commercial real estate so you buy i don't do risks i don't do high risks what does that mean you use someone else's money you broker the i brokered the deals you broke it this is what he told me last night i go at 80 you do that still do it kid he wasn't smoking but he's hitting he's hitting but he wanted to breathing machine yeah yeah and then a bunch of young like 30 year old you know

in fur coats. Robert! They knew them. Yeah, and they all, like, hogged them. And I did a weird lap. I'm like, why? I don't know why. I got so nervous.

Uncomfortable. Girls! Yeah, I did a weird laugh. And he goes, see you later, kid. You know what I mean? He had a girl on each arm. Yeah, and it walks out of his thing. And I go, can I have spaghetti bowlinets?

Do you have whites, reds, or blues? We just don't have that anymore? Just pounded chicken. Just pounded chicken. All right. Yeah, but that was, yeah, I love Dantanazzo. I don't ever eat there. Why?

It's so cool in there. It's cool, but the food is not good. It's okay. For late night, it's okay. It's fine. And this is so Hollywood, I mean, the reason why is when I first moved to L.A., I went to Dantan's, and I couldn't even afford it, but like, I spent hundreds of dollars there. Yeah.

Because I just heard it was a legendary place. And I remember seeing Leo and all those guys there Yeah, right, that was like their hand And I never saw them again there And now you can go But now you're Leo to someone else Well, it's funny Because I remember when I first in the 90s

Late 90s went to Dan Tannas I wouldn't even be like getting it get in That was a different Hey kid you can't get in But now like they kiss me on the cheeks and stuff Who does? The host The host kisses you on the cheeks

Yeah, hey Bobby, welcome back me Kenneth thanks for on the cheeks did you bring that bag with you dude you're gonna make me mad about Don't do it

Yeah yeah yeah So Kenneth kisses you on the cheek Yeah yeah yeah Good stuff online Guy You know what I mean He loves your online stuff Yeah yeah

And then And then I'll have Like an old lady goes Young man You do podcasts I go I do I do If I've seen it

It's probably good. Wow. That's what she said, right? But it's got this old-timey, Hollywood-y, you know what I mean? Yeah, it's old school. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it is very old school. And it's...

You know, what's while you go, you know? I don't want to go. We should go together. I don't want to. Why? I don't like it. You love places like that. I do, but the food's got to go.

Dude, dude. The food's got to be good. That guy? The Taylor Swift guy? It goes to... Dude. What is that? That's the photo.

Yeah, we wouldn't be caught dead. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the antenna's look. That's what they all look like. Robert, a kid, this is... Come on, guy. You love those places. I like good food.

I know. But it's okay. It's not good. All right. It's pretty basic spaghetti. For Italian restaurants in L.A.? Yeah. That place is for the hang.

Yeah, but it's so close to the comedy store. It is pretty close. Right. And then, you know, it's a two-minute drive. I go to night market. before I go there, though. Okay. Better food.

I don't even know what night market it is. Oh, right up the street, literally up the street from where you're talking. It's open late? Yeah. Yeah, no one's ever brought me there to the night market. What?

You've never had night market? No. Oh, come on, dude. It's right on sunset. It's literally up the street from what you're talking. And what time do they close? Midnight or one?

No. Close that, well, it's a Sunday. What time is it closed now? 10 o'clock on Sunday. Okay. But on a weekend, they close late? Yeah. Okay, I didn't know.

Oh, you got to. Well, take me there. I'll take you there. Because when you finish your shows, you never take me nowhere. I ask you all the time to go get food, but then you want you go, no, no, I'm going alone. You do that all the time. Yeah, because where I want to go, you're not going to drive that far. How far?

Like, one time you came to the Koreatown. I love Korea. Yeah, that's fine. We went to Augusti Gopchang. Augusti. Remember you were there with, who were you with? Your friend. Who?

You know what's so fucked up? my brain I just I like I can't believe I just drew a blank when you're telling that story who I brought I do the same thing now we're getting old yeah am I old when you're 42 I have 42 yeah what is that memory changes around 40 yeah yeah that sucks I'm 54 dude yeah but you have a better remember the girl that was dating last last thing Blue Chew Daddy old daddy system breaking down Daddy needs some help around.

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Visit Bluetooth.com for more details and important safety information and we thank Bluetooth for sponsoring the podcast. I feel like my brain is going cuckoo shit. You know what it also is? Yeah. The last couple of days haven't been able to get any fucking sleep.

And I laid in bed, got Horazana last night. I put on my little heating pad. I got a little heating pad now. I'm getting old. Yeah. I put on my little electronic heating pad near my tushy. And then I got on my phone. I started reading and I thought,

I'm going to be able to read and go to sleep. No. Couldn't go to sleep. How many hours? How many, when was I up till? How many hours did you get last night? Three. Wow.

It's so funny. I couldn't sleep. I got three too. Maybe you and I are on the same, we're on our same cycle. How the girls sink up, you and I are suffering. Yeah, I got three too last night.

I just couldn't get to sleep. And I was, you know, the worst is when you're so tired. Oh my God. And you need to go to sleep. I was exhausted. And I took Trazadone, which is dog, my,

dog tranquilizer. No, it's like a, it's a non-addictive. Just say yes when I say that See I can't even yes and right now I know Yeah my wife just went to the doctor by the way And they offered her pain

He was like oh and also do you need pain medication She was like no And I was like you say yes You always say yes It's good to have For you For me For the house

Yeah for the house It's like when you get pancakes for the table Yeah for the house Yeah yeah yeah Get drugs for the house Just so when someone comes over We got a little something to have Yeah I went out of the grocery store

What do I pick up every fucking time rice. I don't eat rice but I have two Asians living in the house. You need it. You get the rice. Get the rice. Spam, whatever they need. You need to get the rice. Yeah. You know what I mean? Nuts, you know what I mean? They love nuts. Yeah, well, Filipinos. They love the nuts. Well, they got a lot of nuts. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you like, you get it, even though you're not kind of, you have to be mindful about other people. That's right. Exactly. Pay attention,

make attention. Pay attention. You have to be mindful about other people. I do that a lot, you know. You do. You're very generous. Yeah. What did you guys do this weekend? What did you do this weekend, Carlos? Went to the Ice House last night. Jaime had a show at the Ice House? And you went to support.

Yeah. He doesn't come to support us. You noticed that, Bob? He does. He does. You know who came to support me last in the main room? You come to support Bob? You go to Bob shows?

At the comedy store, I've been there so many times. So many times. Yeah. Never for me. You know who. I've seen you a million times go up. 20 years ago. I also.

Jules came to the main room last night. She did? She's never been there. She's trying to get up, huh? No, she brought 10 people. What? Really? Yeah, it was crazy.

I couldn't believe it. Wow. And I had to kill. And I walked by her table and she got, you did good. She knows. He's seen you before. Yeah, but she doesn't,

she doesn't, she doesn't give it up. She doesn't, that's not what she does. Yeah, yeah. That's what I love about her. Okay, can I tell you, I send you a TikTok, do you see it? What did you send me? It's a 90s furniture, local

advertisement commercial and it's something about it just made me feel so happy send it to him I want to see it

yeah send it to who the guy to put it up on the screen there's just something about

like race race relations that was the purest back then the 90s yeah it's no but it's a love

right but it wasn't what it is now and I want to go back to this time I'm rich a.k. I'm looking at the Red House and I'm black. I like pump an eye to pump a furniture

and to people's home. I'm Johnny, aka Ten Gage. I work at the Red House and I'm white. I like deer hunting, bass fishing, and extending credit to all people. I'm Black and I love the Red House. I'm black and I love the Red House. I'm white and I love the Red House. I'm a black woman. and I love the Red House.

I am white, and the Red House is for me. At the Red House. This has got to be a comedy sketch team that did this. No. It's real. Look at the sofa. It's perfect for a black person or a white person. This mattress is perfect for a white person or a black person.

Big pause. They were guests on Tiger Bell? Like, oh, two weeks ago. Wait, this is. not real? It's a sketch. This is like when my dad sends me an AI video. I'm so embarrassed. This is like when my dad sends me an AI video of like Kobe cussing out someone in like a Sora video, you know? Jesus, dude. Oh my God. I thought it was. I knew that I was like this got to be a comedy sketch scene. I thought this was a real like wow. You mean? But but but but your but your

innocence is good because I it is a good commercial. Yeah, I would go to the Red House after seeing this. Yeah. I go, wow. They really got along. Like shaking hands.

You know what I mean? I was like, this is great. This is good. It's good for progress. Yeah. I feel like a fool. That don't. Yeah, yeah.

Please don't. I feel so embarrassed. I'm going inside myself again. Don't. Yeah, yeah. Damn it, dude. I'm a fool. Are you sure that's them?

Couldn't be more sure. Okay, my bad. It's okay. Yeah, yeah. You know what I'm excited for right now. I get to go home tonight and have my favorite soup. Let me go. It's soup season, dog.

It's soup season now. Now that's a crisp bear. If you can see your breath in L.A., it's soup season. Yeah. And I'm excited about soup season. Let me tell you about it. I'd even invite some of you pigs over because my wife cooks my favorite soup. And we don't get it all year until now.

Can I guess what it is? Yeah. Can I name the vegetable or that? You can name the ingredients. Pumpkin. No, no pumpkin. Okay. I do not, and I don't enjoy pumpkin.

Is there squash in it? Nope. Okay. Split pea. Nope. Fuck. Strike three. I love split pea.

She makes Zupa Tascana. No. No. Zupa Tuscana. Look at it right there. Supa Tuscana. She makes it good? Oh my God

It's like potato chunks It's spicy Italian sausage Wow Some people use kale I don't like kale Okay But it's so good dude Yeah

And by the way You pour that over a little bit of rice Your people Yum yum yum yum Unreal Yeah I had a waggu Bim Bop bowl

Last night for dinner Wow Where At that place that I went to in Phoenix Wow Bim Bim Bap And then the girl next to me He goes

What is that What is that And I go it's a Caesar salad yeah yeah yeah it's a it's a smoking bowl and she goes what is that I go Caesar salad but my favorite kind of bebib and Bob has to be the hot pot

oh dude it has to be that stone pot because the rice crisps at the bottom dude you get lost saying dog and my favorite thing is when you peel that off at the bottom yeah and you get that crunchy hard that crunch oh my god name me some soups that you

that you absolutely love and that you hate pop soup for Bobby Lee Okay, for me is... Tam yum. No, dude. That's rude. Sweet and sour. No.

Dragon's Breath Soup. Dengsat. Deng chigueh. You've given me that. Yeah, dengeng chiget, I like. Yeah. Any jigga is kimchi or dengeng chagin I like. I like all the jiggas.

Any jingas I like. Okay. And then, but the Americana ones, I'm a big fan of. Yeah. Judge me if you want. No, no. There's going to be some hot tics. takes, sure.

The chicken noodle soup from Arawan. Oh, yeah. It's just, with the big, no, but with the thick noodles. Oh, you egg noodles. Yeah, to have it in your fridge and as an emergency little meal. That's your favorite. It's good. What's your favorite, Carlos?

Split pea. I'm not done with my favorite. Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah, yeah, excuse me. What? Fideo. Fideo. A good split pea.

I don't like split pee. Yeah. Corn chowder. I can go, if it's a 50-50. Yeah. But clam chowder. With Tabasco sauce, oh, right? Come on, baby.

I can't do clam chowder. Yeah, why? Because I don't like clams in blot. Okay. That's what it looks like. They were like, blop, blub, blop. I don't want to do that. Okay.

Clams are their own thing. Yeah. Like spaghetti clams? Fine. If they're still in the shell. Oh. Yeah, spaghetti clams. Bunggoli.

Bunguili. Bungule. Yeah. But you do clam chowter? I love it. I wouldn't have pin that for you a clam chowder guy? It has to be like, you have to be in Seattle, where they do a good.

Well, it's from New England. Yeah. The opposite side of the country. But Seattle has some good spots there. Oh, it's got it. It's a seafood. It's a seafood spot. Yeah, a port town is what I'm saying.

I know it's from New England, right? But I'm saying, you know what I mean? I've never been to New England. So the other port town I've been to is in Seattle. It's still the same. All right? So I don't like the judgment. Give me that Sacramento clams chowder, baby.

I don't like Motsabal soup. It's bullshit. A lump in the middle. Get the fuck out of here. But if you get the extras in it, it's good. What is that? If you go to like canters or something, you can get noodles in it. Yeah, but then just take the ball out.

Then it's chicken noodle soup. I like the ball. What do you do with that thing? You don't eat that. That's a lump. I know, but it's like a, you know, cosmetic. I hate it. Look at that thing.

Like big ball. Don't need it. It's taking up space. Yeah. It's like when a couch is too big for a small living room. You're like, what? You could have gotten a love seat and gotten away with it. I don't like carrots, but I like carrots and soup,

but I also like carrots, how the Mexicans do, they pickle it. That's my favorite. Whatever, what do they call it? Yeah, they pickle it. But it has jalapeno pickled too. Pickled it's a whole thing. It's a whole jarred. Pickled vegetables.

Dude, whatever that is, dude. Ula-la-la-la, pino-o-o-o-o-o-o-oh-la. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. O'l-l-l-l-la. I love it. That I do love. Yeah. And I love, um, I had practice.

You ever go to The Griddle? On sunset? Yeah. No, I went there one time. The pancake place? It's old. It's got like a line down the block, doesn't it have a line? I went there today.

You went there today? Incredible. With pancakes? Dude, I got a, no, I got a French toast with fruity pebbles in it. Oh my God. Look at the fruity pebble. You're really fist-fighting that Wagovi, huh? Yeah, yeah.

I got that. That's insane. Bobby. Yeah. Dude. That's crazy. That's like a child. I know.

But I shared it with my friend. Oh, okay. Your teeth are going to fall out. So what I always do is when I go to a breakfast spot with a friend, you know what I mean? I'll go, we share one sweet, but we get our separate things. I mean, we can share that too. You get a dish. Right.

Yeah. So you don't eat the whole thing. It's just like two or three bites. But that thing, dude, was, ooh, la, la, me boo, good. That's too sweet for me. Right. And syrup on top of that? No.

That, whatever that whipped cream is. the thing. Oh, that's... I refuse to do extra. And then I got a Chicago scramble that was really good. What was in? What's in there? A peppers. You know, Italian peppers. Yeah. And, um, sausage, you know. So over here, Chicago scrambled. Daly sausage, peppers. Tailing sausage peppers. That's good. Yeah. Diabetes. Diabetes. Chicago. You run a sketch show, huh? Oh, dude, when they said, um, you got the... job?

Yeah. I went, really? What do you mean? You're a great actor. No, what I'm saying is that you don't think that I was bewildered that I got on a fucking sketch show? No, you're hilarious.

I didn't know how to do anything. Well, you just don't do impressions. Or accents or any, what the things that you need to do in a sketch show I didn't do, dude. No, but you do characters. I can do characters. Yes, you can do. That's what sketch shows are, a great character. Yeah, man, donnie.

Good to see you, man. Stuff like that. Yeah, that was good. I'm Alvira. Hello, welcome to my castle. Those are the Aner one. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They didn't really make it on the show.

You know, you know what hinders you? What? It's your eyes. My eyes are what? Well, you tell a lot in the eyes through comedy, and that's what hinders you. What do you mean? Your eyes.

Oh. Because when you do a character, you have to like, see you do that when you go to like a different guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you have to physically change your eyes. I have to physically change my eyes. Yeah, like be a guy from the South. What?

Be a guy from the South. How you doing me? See what I mean. Okay, be a guy from New York. Hey, forget about it. See, look at your eyes. Hey, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're right.

You do, you change your... I make my eyes whiter. Yeah, you make white eyes. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. It looks like you're gonna put eye drops in when you do that. I think you're right. You change it.

It's in my eyes. It's in your eyes, dude. But the comedy is where? Yeah. in your heart. It's in your heart. Yeah. I saw Frankenstein.

Hot Frankenstein. You see it? I know, but every time I see a clip on TikTok that makes me laugh of a guy who's correcting people. Have you seen that guy when he's like, it's actually Frankenstein's monster. Frankenstein is a great clip. There's been a couple of them out there. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's hot Frankenstein? Yeah. I'm out. It's supposed to be hideous. I know. The whole point was, can I say something, though? I thought the same thing. all this hoopla like the son about a cartography is great you know i mean do you see it mccone not yet yeah

yeah um who is it gilmo yeah yeah oh it's gonna look fucking amazing yeah so i watched it because of that right but i i i have to say i had really great empathy for him for frankestine's monster yeah for frankestine's monster and it was the first time i saw anything frankenstein where i was just like i felt such sorrow for him you've seen the original i did yeah yeah but this frankenstein is pretty good. Here's what bothers me about this. What? Because for years, all of us, everyone in this room, when we were kids, you thought Frankenstein was the monster. And then you get old enough and you see it and you go, oh, that's Frankenstein's what he's called. Yet societally, we still call that guy Frankenstein. Like on a Halloween shirt, it'd be like Frankenstein. It just would.

Why didn't they just give that guy the name Frankenstein and then call him doctor? Yeah, that's right. Like at some point, switch it up. Yeah. It was such a weird thing. Also, if you're going to keep his name Frankenstein sponsor, give him a different name. Yeah. If Frankenstein was going to be called Frankenstein, give Frankenstein tutto-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-tut. God, you were so close. That's it.

Tut-Tut-Tut. No, no. He didn't make it through the Yeah, give me another shot. Marketing. Yeah, yeah. Argonfawk. Argonfog. Yeah. Argonfog. Organ-fuck. Not fuck. Don't say fuck in the name.

Oh, yeah. Argonfark. Argonfark. Fark. He's Swedish. Argon-Fark. Ergenfark. I am Argonfark. And this is my bride.

Who is your bride's name? Bride of Arkenfar. Oh, okay, that's fine. I like that. So he was hot. It's worth seeing this thing? Yeah, he is. You saw it?

Yeah, it's awesome. It's so awesome. I, you know. You have to. I just haven't been to the movies in so long. Yeah. I got to go. I just haven't been.

I mean, it's no Predator Badlands, but it's very good. Now you see me, now you don't. It's also out. Oh, yeah. You were in it. Congratulations. Thanks, man. Yeah.

And people said, I like it. People like it. Now you see me? Did you see it? I haven't seen it. Did you see yourself on it? I've been, I guess I'm in the first scene, he said. You saw it.

You went to go see it. Are you a fan of the franchise? Not really. Okay, good. You saw it for Andrew. I am. Shut up. Why did you go to see it?

I saw it for you, the same way that I saw. Borderlands for me. Yeah, yeah. Not in the theater, though. You sees everything. Oh, you did? Both. What's now you see me got on Rotten Tomatoes?

I walk out of both of them. 59. 59. We're cruising. Yeah. What does Borderlands at now? Oh, but audience score is 81. That's way better.

I'll take audience score all day. I'm going to go see that movie. I was supposed to go see it and I couldn't have even out of town. 10. 10. 48 though. Popcorn made a 48? Yeah.

So the movie you didn't finish it? You walked out. It's okay. One of those movies. Yeah. The original was, yeah. I've seen, I mean, I've only seen the first one. Right.

Yeah. Yeah. Zoom in there. Jesse Eisenberg, how incredible. The rest of the cast, magic. How amazing. Rosemann Pike. But Andrew Santino stood out as a complete dud.

Am I really in the first scene? Yeah, first scene. Oh, wow. Maybe I'll just go to see it and then... And leave. Well, no, I'd see the movie. I want to see it. Yeah, I'd love to see it.

We should go as a family. We should go and watch it. Support you. I had a guy come up to me and say, yo bad friends I was like what's up man and he's like yo I used to fucking hang out I used to skate with Stevie

That's so funny That's it was fucking awesome Yeah yeah I was like oh really Stevie Lee Yeah he's like yeah He's like tell him I said what's up It was the first time someone talked to me And not asked about you

Yeah that's cool It was cool because we went back We went back to like you know old little spots Sean Malto my buddy Sean was with me Yeah And we were just out with a bunch of young skate dudes In Phoenix? Yeah

Because that's my brother went to ASU And skated a lot there I know I know I went there too Yeah But we were with a couple of young skate dudes And one of the dudes was like yo I used to skate with Stevie Lee And I was like oh that's that's red

But it was so cool because nine times out of ten Hey where's Bobby Yeah yeah They want to know where you are Yeah you too bad No they never ask you about me Are you mind? We're Santino

That's not what they said I can even tell by the way you said that Yeah we're Santino at I go, he's not here. He's in, you know, somewhere with Taylor Swift. Okay. Oh, what are you going to get me for Christmas? Do you have my Christmas gift?

Let's get me a real gift. I got you a real gift. Did your wife tell you that I called frantically for weeks? She didn't think of one. I know, but. And I couldn't think of one either. You don't have a wife. I didn't get to call anyone.

I didn't figure it out on my own. I know, but you have the world. What do you give somebody that has the world In their fingertips You have everything You know what I have that You have everything I still found something for you

I still found something Yeah but it's like No because I'm creative and I care You don't care Or I'll get you No you don't need to tell me Yeah But you better get me something good

Tiger Woods rookie card A rookie golf card Yeah I mean I don't know what else It's like how do you Like would you so I thought about this. Can we make this deal? When it comes to you and I, we don't give each other gifts.

No deal. We get each other. No, no, no, no. No deal. No deal. I want it. No, I want it. Please, it's too much. I spend time thinking about it for too much. All right. You know what I'm calling? You and I just have a handshake. Like the old days. Like the old days. That's fine. Yeah, yeah. I'm fine with it. I'm fine with that. It's a letdown. How, why? Because I've always thought gifts are fun. I got you, those shoes you never wear, they're still under the desk. Those arsenal shoes, they're out of there. They've never

moved. Yeah, yeah. Other side. Can you imagine how many young kids would love to have those shoes? I know, thank you. I want them there. Why can't I place the presents that I receive where I want, you know? Well, it's not a painting their shoes. I know, but I want them down here, by my other feet.

You have two feet down there? You have another set of feet? No, by my feet. Oh, yeah. My feet looks at it. I'm like, What's up? You know what I mean? Oh. Yeah, yeah. I just want them there.

Why can't I place the fucking presence? They're fewer shoes. Yeah, yeah. Okay, say right now things that you want and then I can have a direction to go. Okay. All right. So tell me now. Peace in the Middle East.

All right. So I'll give you, I'll give you money to give to them. Okay. To a cause or something. Okay. That's what we did with your birthday. Some of the money gives it the cause. That's right.

What else do I? Give me something tangible, like a something physical I can buy. An item. And if you throw it out there or throw a bunch of things out there, then I can, like, you know, you know what I mean? A lufa. Okay. Okay. I need a new lufa.

I want a foot massage machine. Okay. Now we're getting somewhere, dude. I want a toto Japanese toilet. Okay. This is good. This is good. This is good.

You buy me a toilet. I know. No, already with all the toilet. three things that you just mentioned, I already know exactly what I'm going to get you. Okay, good. You know what it is? What? Nothing.

I want to hide. I'll tell you what I really want. What? More than anything in the world. What? Is for you and me to actually next year make a movie for real. But that's not a birthday gift. It's a Christmas gift.

That's something that we have to do. Do you not believe in the miracle of Christmas? I do believe in the miracle of whatever that holiday is. Of course I do. You mean that holiday? I don't know much about it. St. Nicholas, there's presents. There's a rooftop.

You know what I mean? There's a little horsies on a rooftop, whatever. You know, I get it. You know what I mean? I understand the North Pole, the elves. You know what they call him in Britain, what they call Santa Claus? James. Father Christmas.

Oh, Father Christmas. That's his property. There's a lot of English people I mean named James. That's true. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's like, I just threw it out there. This, Father Christmas. Yeah.

What are you guys getting us for Christmas? What do you guys want for Christmas? You're going to keep your jobs. Okay. What do you guys want? What do you want for Christmas? For real. Gucci chain.

Fucking Gucci chain. All right. Thank you. Your wishes granted. Okay, what about you, my cone? I've always wanted an original pressing of stakes as high, the De La Sol album, because on the repress, they removed all the original samples. So a first pressing of that.

You're such a nerd. Okay, the first pressing of, What? Dayless Soul's what album? Stakes is high. They're 96 release. Okay. Okay.

Then I'll go with a car. Original stakes is high. Did you just hear what he just said? Yeah. You want a new car. You want a new car. It could be used. What kind of car?

It's a Tesla. What, the Tesla 3? The truck? The... The... Cyber truck? It's not the truck. No, the...

Why or whatever. Well, there's two SUV. is the X and the Y. Do you know which one you like? You like the one with the goal wing doors, the ones the doors that... That's the Y, right? Yeah, it's the big one.

It's expensive. Yeah, they're over. No, no, that's X, right? Or maybe it's the X one has the doors. What is the goal? There it is. That's the Tesla Model X. So that's the big one.

Mm-hmm. You sure that's the one you like? Okay. What else you're willing to do? based on the job that you have you have to do a little extra I just want to have a Christmas dinner with you guys No

I'd rather not I'd rather buy you a fucking new car than eat food with you That's so funny I'd rather buy you a new car than eat food with you All right so we got the Christmas gifts You want a car you want a Gucci chain And you want to print it an album An album that we have to

What's a Gucci chain man? Like a chain. from Gucci. Oh, like a necklace. Yeah, like a gold chain. Okay. Yeah. You shouldn't be that surprise. You're wearing purses. Thank you for being a bad friend. I don't know. I don't know.

I'm going to go to picketka. I'm thinking about it. Thank you.