Bad Friends - Fireballs Of Hate Flame

Starting point is 00:00:00 This episode of Bad Friends is presented and fueled by Huel, your go-to for complete nutrition. Try Huel with 15% off today using code badfriends at my.huel.com slash bad friends. Hey! Scary time USA, scary time USA. You guys missed that live, you missed out because it was probably-

Starting point is 00:00:19 One of the best I've ever done. Strongest we've ever done. I think it felt so cool. It felt cool. And right now you can still watch it. You didn't get to see it live. It's not gonna be as beautiful when it's not live, but you can still watch a edited cut

Starting point is 00:00:30 of most of almost everything that we did on there at moment.co slash bad friends. Scary Time USA has also got a one-off shirts, hoodies, posters, stuff like that on the site that we're gonna stop selling after Scary Times USA is gone. So 18 days left from right now is all you got. Go to moment.co slash bad friends.

Starting point is 00:00:50 Hey! Hello, hello, hello, hello. We're gonna be Dan Andame. Listen, we added shows and you guys have done such a great job coming out and see us that we had to add shows. So Sydney, we got a couple of shows. We're doing Brisbane, Auckland, Melbourne, a couple of shows.

Starting point is 00:01:05 Adelaide. Adelaide. Perth, Australia. And then finally, Singapore. Singapore. If you want to come see us in any of those spots, you better get your tickets right now. They're going to sell. BadFriendsPod.com.

Starting point is 00:01:16 BadFriendsPod.com for the tickets. What a joy. We may never even, it'll be a long time. We probably may not come back together. Who knows? Yeah, come on. All right. You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots?

Starting point is 00:01:26 Woo. White dude and Asian dude. Woo. You two are disgusting. Woo. You two are something. We're bad friends. You know what I've been watching is people,

Starting point is 00:01:37 kids watching Sixth Sense for the first time. How do you like not know the outcome of that movie? Well, if kids are, people that were born in the year like 2000, a 24 year old doesn't know. Yeah, but it's just like, I just feel like that's something that they, you know, it's like, you know, Soylent Green are people. Do you remember that?

Starting point is 00:01:54 Yeah. Yeah. You know, like I never even saw Soylent Green, but I know Soylent Green are people. Yeah, but 99, this movie came out. Okay. So kids born in 2000, 2001, young 20 year olds, they wouldn't have seen this.

Starting point is 00:02:07 No, I'm saying they haven't seen it, but would they know the, you know what I mean? The bit. The switch. Right, maybe. The surprise, I just feel like that's a part of, but when you watch YouTubers or people watching it, they get really, oh, is he dead?

Starting point is 00:02:19 You know, I don't want to give it away, but they get freaked out. You see black dudes too, especially. It's always black dudes. No, oh no, you know what I mean? They get no. By the way, you know we've reached peak internet, but someone literally sent this to me yesterday.

Starting point is 00:02:32 I came up and I didn't text Carlos. You know how black dudes will get high and watch comedy stuff? Yeah. There's two black guys that got high to watch Bad Friends. No. And I was like, we made it. I don't want anyone to watch it.

Starting point is 00:02:42 We made it. I don't even want to watch it because they laugh and they laugh. When black dudes get high and watch us do they watch yeah, do they laugh? They were dying. Yeah, that made me feel so cool. That's like when a black guy calls you the n-word You know what I mean? You're like, all right, I'll take it because at the I did a firefighter show You did a firefighter show What did you say a? firefighter show what you think I? A firefighter show? What'd you think I said?

Starting point is 00:03:05 A firefighter show. I said firefighter show. That sounds the same. No, did I slow it down? Do it one more time? I did a firefighter show. Firefighter show. That's not what I said.

Starting point is 00:03:16 Firefighter show. Bro, bro, bro, come on, dude. It's a firefighter show. Right. Go ahead. Ryo was there. Fireball. Hayuken. Is that what he says?

Starting point is 00:03:37 Wait, what is it? Hayuken? Hadouken? No, it's Street Fighter. Is it Street Fighter? Yes, Street Fighter. Hadouken. Hadouken! That's what he says, hadouken? No, in Street Fighter. Is it Street Fighter? Yeah, Street Fighter. Street Fighter. Hadouken. Hadouken! That's what he said, Hadouken?

Starting point is 00:03:49 Oh. Yeah, it's Hadouken. Okay. Hadouken, wave motion or fist of surge. Special attack from Capcom Street Fighter. Anyway. Sorry. So you're at a firefighter show.

Starting point is 00:04:01 Am I saying it right? I think so. Yeah. A fireman show. Am I saying it right? I think so. Yeah. A fireman show. Yeah? That's gay. Yeah, sounds like a little gay burlesque show. We're gonna put you out.

Starting point is 00:04:16 Well then forget it. No, come on. I mean, I don't even wanna partake anymore. You were at a firefighting show. God, it's a dead end, huh? Not at the firefighter show. Yeah, yeah. Oh, God, it's a dead end, huh? Not at the Firefire show. Your end's always open. So it was a benefit show at the improv.

Starting point is 00:04:32 And it was, so it was me, Griffin, right? Amir Kay and Fitzsimmons. I love Amir, I love Fitz. Fitz, right? And Griff, I love Griff. Right, but the first part of the show was firefighters doing standup. Oh, like local LA department?

Starting point is 00:04:48 Yes, yeah. And they had about eight of them. It was to raise money for these guys? It was like some sort of benefit for fire people. What is going on with this? They're always handing out buckets. They need money, these guys? What's going on with these guys?

Starting point is 00:04:59 Dude, fighting fire is expensive. They're never doing it. Water you need, what else do you need? That's it, dude. That's it. They're never doing it. Water you need, what else do you need? That's it dude, that's it. They're never fighting fires. That's it right? Just water. Oh, you gotta have a dog, you gotta have a Dalmatian.

Starting point is 00:05:10 You need the Dalmatian? You do. Yeah, yeah, yeah, for optics, right. No, they go- Or maybe the shiny red, you know, yeah, the fire, you gotta shine that up. The what, the fire truck? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:05:20 It's already pre-shined. Yeah, but those are extra shiny. See, that's why it starts to get real gay. They're in the firehouse, they're clear, they're shining it up all day with their shirts off. They're just lifting weights. They have their hoses out. Mm-hmm.

Starting point is 00:05:32 There's a pole. There's a pole. There's a pole. They're raising money. In a floor glory hole. A floory hole. A gigantic floory hole. A floory hole.

Starting point is 00:05:42 Of milking table with earth. Yeah, kinda. Yeah. No. You can do that like on a beach. You can lay. I have no idea what you're saying. Okay, continue the story.

Starting point is 00:05:53 Okay, anyway. Don't give him too much air time. So, you know, I went early. We all went early. And number one, they killed. No way. Yeah. One after another, I'm not kidding you.

Starting point is 00:06:08 Who was in the crowd? People whose houses were on fire? No, no, no. No, no, no, no. Other fire people. Oh, it was all fire people. Yeah, it's all firemen. Well, that's why they-

Starting point is 00:06:16 No, but no, but they were actually okay. Like who wrote the jokes for them? I don't know. And they all had different point of views. They all went, it got to the point though, dude, where me, Griffin, and Amir were standing there and we all were holding each other going, what if we bomb?

Starting point is 00:06:30 It would be, because we're supposed to be the pros. Yeah. Right? So then Eric goes up there, he does good. I'm next, right? And I don't know why I brought this up because you brought up the two black guys watching, right? And this dude, this black dude had shades on. You know how sometimes they get Martin Lawrence-y?

Starting point is 00:06:56 100%. You know what I mean? Like they get like, like bite any. Yeah. Like, you know what I mean? They just get all, hold on. Just get all like, where am I? You know what I mean? I'm like. What are you talking about, dude? No. They get all. No. I was with you with Martin Lawrence. I know, I know.

Starting point is 00:07:13 You lost me. I don't, no. He was an older black guy, right? He's wearing like a brown tracksuit. He was wearing shades and he was just kind of going, where am I? You know what I mean? Was he on stage?

Starting point is 00:07:24 No, he was off to the side. Okay. You know how you go down the stairs? He was sitting shades and he was just kind of going, where am I? You know what I mean? Was he on stage? No, he was off to the side. You know how you go down the stairs? He was sitting there with shades with a beautiful, his wife. Yeah. You know what I mean? But they're older. And he also, they like to, I don't say they.

Starting point is 00:07:36 That's insane. That's insane what I'm doing. I know what you were saying. No, no, no, no. But he had like one leg on something like this, like this, like this, as if he was. In a park, on a bench. Drinking lemonade.

Starting point is 00:07:48 In a nice summer day. And you know what color it is? It's pink. It's purple. It's pink. It's grape. They, black people love pink lemonade. They do.

Starting point is 00:07:57 The way that we love Arnold Palmer. So this guy, right? I was observing him. Yeah. He was dying laughing at every fireman. Okay. Okay. He was a fireman himself. I don't know. I didn't ask him. Yeah. He was dying laughing at every fireman. Okay. Okay. He was a fireman himself.

Starting point is 00:08:08 I don't know. I didn't ask him. He must have. You know what? And he was laughing. But then when I went up. Ice cold. Ice cold like a river.

Starting point is 00:08:18 Nothing. Nothing. Not a smile, not a smirk, not a wince. He'd almost look mad. When I get nervous and I have to do well, I start getting real weird fast. Yeah, I know. You know what I mean?

Starting point is 00:08:31 I make my hair weird. But I like it. I stumble on stage like a character, you know what I mean? And then I just start going, peep, peep, peep, peep, you know what I mean? You know what I mean? Poking my pee-pee, you know what I mean? Like I literally go,

Starting point is 00:08:42 peep, peep, peep, peep, peep, peep, like that, right? And he immediately was like, nah. No, he didn't like that. I crushed. Still. But still I couldn't break him. Yeah, you never will. I will.

Starting point is 00:08:55 No, you will not. One day I will. Sir, wherever you are, come back to a show, sir. Let's see if we can really crack you. Yeah, anyway. Do you know how much money they raised for firefighters? I didn't ask. My grandfather was a firefighter.

Starting point is 00:09:08 You know that? I've talked to him over the years and I said, you know, cops get a lot of like flack, you know, cops are always, they're always like, cops are racist. You know, that's a lot of flack people say. I don't know about that. You never heard this? Never heard that.

Starting point is 00:09:21 Good. But I think it's interesting that people always say like, oh, cops are racist. all the cops are bad, all cops are racist. Firefighters never, no one ever says that about them. I don't think they are. Oh, yes they are. Oh, they are.

Starting point is 00:09:34 I'll tell you what, can I give you a theory maybe? Yeah, dude. They're just stronger cops. Yeah, imagine it's a job that you have when only one specific event happens. Yeah. Right? So there could be a month that goes by, no? Like you're a robbery.

Starting point is 00:09:49 Is there a fire every day? No. Right, so what I'm saying is that, I assume months go by. Sure. They rescue cats from trees. They do, but fuck you, all right? 176 fire stations exist.

Starting point is 00:10:02 No, how many fires are there in the United States? No, but- In LA, in LA. I will say this. They're out every day. Look at this, approximately 17,000 fires in the city. That also includes like small shop front fire. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:10:15 That's not a big, that's not- Exactly. It's not real. It's not real. Arson, that includes arson. Arson. So 46 a day. Also then they're always working.

Starting point is 00:10:25 They're probably pretty busy, yeah. Okay, well then my theory is wrong. I always assume like, you know, they're just playing like Jenga up there in the firehouse, you know what I mean? And then, oh man, you know what I mean? I don't know why I said it like that, but like, oh man, fire, let's go. And they go down the pool.

Starting point is 00:10:42 They have way more medical emergencies in the West Hollywood Fire Department. That's all medical emergency. Oh, that's where they go down the pole. They have way more medical emergencies than the West Hollywood Fire Department. That's all medical emergency. Oh, that's what they, they, because we, I used to, you know, we used to- Because when you get something stuck up your ass, they gotta be there for all that. No, Colada used to get heart murmurs.

Starting point is 00:10:55 No, I get them all the time. And then we'd call the ambulance. No, I don't do that. And a fire truck would come sometimes. They have to. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, they come. Why though?

Starting point is 00:11:02 Why what? Why the fire truck? With the ambulance. Well, because They wanna show off their big ladder. Oh, oh. No, I think it's part of, it's required that they have to show up with paramedics. Because in case someone's stuck in something or who knows, well, here, let's get the fucking answer from this woman.

Starting point is 00:11:19 The goal is to get help who needs it as fast as possible. Ambulances can be delayed or unavailable at the time because paramedics also are EMTs. EMTs also can be firefighters or they have to be- Oh, I think you're right because I think a couple of times ambulance didn't come, it was only a firefighter. But he had- But he had all the equipment.

Starting point is 00:11:36 Yeah, he had the experience. And they had that, wow, they do so many things. Would she get her heart shocked back into rhythm? She had an ablation, so we got a couple operations on her heart. Wow. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:11:48 I get murmurs all the time. Do you ever- Get worried about it? Yeah. A lot. Have you considered an ablation? You know what it is? A black Asian?

Starting point is 00:11:57 Yes. I should have said, have you considered getting a Tiger Woods? That's what they call the surgery? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I thought about doing something to it, but my doctors have always said it's okay. Yeah, I guess they go, it's like a little,

Starting point is 00:12:11 they go through all the like veins and stuff on one side of the body with, I don't know. Usually go through your belly button a lot. That freaks me out. They open up your belly button. You know, my wife had surgery, she had to go through your belly button. Yeah. Yuck.

Starting point is 00:12:24 You know how they say that one day we're gonna have chips on our arms, will you do that? With all our information, our credit cards, everything. You'll do it. For sure. Yeah. How convenient. I would do it. You won't do that?

Starting point is 00:12:36 Why'd you shake your head no? That shit scares me, I don't know. Why? It's just like when that starts conflicting with like mechanical, with human stuff, like with brain and neural mechanical I'm not saying I'm gonna get my arm replaced You get a little chip do you think it's gonna lead to neural link shit

Starting point is 00:12:52 I don't even like driving cars that like they can turn off with the computer. That's why I drive an old accord Oh my god, that's why you drive an old accord that and you'll be broke This guy's fucking let us be me. Let us be mean to him. Okay? From bridges of Madison County or something, you know what I mean? That's because you are broke. No, what I'm saying is you have your credit card, your ID, and also maybe a way to open up your front door with your arm.

Starting point is 00:13:17 Oh, I like that too. You mean click, click, click, click? Yeah, but think about it, somebody follows you home, they grab you, they just put your arm up to the door. Oh, that's true. They got you. Right, right, right, right, right, right. Can't have that. Yeah. Okay.

Starting point is 00:13:27 There was a bump in the night the other night by the house, by the way, I got nervous, grabbed my gun. In your mansion? In my home. Your gigantic mansion. Okay, so- My home is not, your house is the same size as my house. Oh my God.

Starting point is 00:13:39 I love when you try to start fights with me. You just started it. No, no, no, no, no, no. Who started it? Who fucking started it? Dude, I don't wanna go there. You just started it. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

Starting point is 00:13:47 no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Yeah, it's so, you know, you're gaslighting me. You're literally doing it. And let me say what you're doing. You're gaslighting me. So.

Starting point is 00:14:05 Gaslighting. So. No more gaslighting. Oh, now you're doing Asian accent, that's when you're scared. That's how I get out of it. When you get scared, he does Asian accent, right? No, you weren't.

Starting point is 00:14:14 When I'm in front of your mom, you got scared, and you did that to my mom. You brought up. Asian accent, okay? And it crushed. That's what you, that's your fucking professional. And it crushed. And it made the show.

Starting point is 00:14:21 That's fine, it went viral, but my point being is that you're scared right now and calm. I'm not scared. Calm down, calm your shit. You started it, that's an insane thing to say. Did you guys go to the house? Yes. They've all been in my home whose house is bigger They're honestly the same if you add up the driveway and everything. Thank you put my driveway in it I have a long driveway. How is that equation? That's included. That's not a living space. Thank you. It could be no It's not so my point is is this okay?

Starting point is 00:14:42 Let me reiterate and let me recently it, because the first time I went to his house was during his birthday party, right? My old house? The new one. Yeah. I don't wanna start a fight with you, but I- You're doing it. I know, but I walked in and I remember going,

Starting point is 00:14:55 oh, I might have to move. That's the first thought. What do you mean? Because you- That's, let me, I wanna be honest with you, dude. Sure. All right? I went to your front lawn, pretty good nice lawn. Thanks.

Starting point is 00:15:09 You have a gate and the whole thing. Yeah. Electrical, you know? Yeah. Gate system, right? Mm-hmm. You walked out of these gigantic doors, not that your house is big, but you have gigantic doors.

Starting point is 00:15:18 It's a big door, I'm 6'1". Right, right. I mean, all doors are big to you. Right. Okay, you can make fun of me all you want, but I'm trying to be honest with you. Well, I'm also trying to put comedy in the show. Yeah, yeah, right. I mean all doors are big to you. Right. Okay, you can make fun of me all you want, but I'm trying to be honest with you. Well, I'm also trying to put comedy in the show. Yeah, yeah, okay.

Starting point is 00:15:27 And so then you come on in, Lang Mang, or whatever you fucking always say, you know what I mean? What? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Make something funny, if you're gonna say that, make it up and be funny. Ling Ling or whatever you do.

Starting point is 00:15:38 There, yeah, say come on in Ling Ling. Yeah, yeah. I go Ling Ling's here. Ling Ling's here, right? I walk in and I remember my first thing is I looked around high ceilings. Do you not have high ceilings? Yeah, they're tall.

Starting point is 00:15:48 They're very, right? Well, they're tall. Right, and then I also like, I'm like, the living room is so far away from where I am. It's in the back of the house. I don't even know where it is. It's in the back of the house. Yeah, so it's like, you know, my sight isn't that bad,

Starting point is 00:16:00 right? In your house, you have to go up to the living room. You can also not see it. Thank you. Yeah, exactly. You have to walk up to the living room. You can also not see it. Thank you. You have to walk upstairs to your living room in your house to see it. Mine's two studio apartments on top of each other. Yeah, you went up there.

Starting point is 00:16:12 They have bedrooms. Thank you, McCone. There's bedrooms down there. Now, I will admit that my house is, I prefer the design of my house better than yours. Sure, that's why you live there. Yeah. With cat shit all over the fucking place, it's great.

Starting point is 00:16:27 Okay, you can make jokes. That's the show that we're on. I know, you can do what you're doing right now, dude, and I'm fine with it. Because I'm just being honest with you. So am I. I walk in high ceilings, I go, I don't know where the living room is, but it's pretty far away, probably half a mile away.

Starting point is 00:16:40 And I walked in there and then I went, my thought was, I might have to at least get a house comparable to this because I want to feel like we're on the same level. But I remember having these thoughts and why would I have these thoughts, Carlos, do you think? You're breaking the 10th commandment, it's jealousy. Exactly, dude.

Starting point is 00:16:59 What is that? It's jealousy. Thou shalt not covet that neighbor, dude. Yeah, yeah. Don't covet me, dude. So I was coveting you, dude. Stop coveting me. I'm gonna covet before the rest of my life. I don't want you to. Yeah, dude. Yeah, yeah. Don't covet me, dude. So I was coveting you, dude. Stop coveting me. I'm gonna covet before the rest of my life.

Starting point is 00:17:06 I don't want you to. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, I'm covet king. You're already breaking so many of the commandments. So here's what it is. You live in a house bigger than 99.9% of the houses in the world. Can we say that?

Starting point is 00:17:17 Well, the world? Yeah. Yeah, most people live in fucking huts. Exactly. So I'm not being lying. Not bigger than 99% of the United States. Yeah. No, it's not.

Starting point is 00:17:26 Let's move on. So what were you gonna say? It's not even- Let's move on. What are you gonna say? Well, if you let me tell the story, that's not it at all. Well, let me finish my little point here. Cause there was a gunshot outside.

Starting point is 00:17:35 Okay, it could have been in the house. And then there was rustling next door. Okay, like continuous. And then I got worried. All right, so start from the- So I grabbed- Start from the beginning. Go ahead.

Starting point is 00:17:44 You're in your mansion going. There was a- Yeah, yeah. So you're laying down. Well, I'm in one of my hyperbaric chambers that I sleep in. Yeah. No, so I was in my money room and I was sleeping.

Starting point is 00:17:56 I have a money room that I sleep in. I know you do. Yeah. And I was swimming actually. I was taking a late night Scrooge McDuck swim. I have gold coins. Yeah. You have a moat. It's a 30 foot pool of money. Yeah. No, I was taking a late night Scrooge McDuck swim. I have gold coins. Yeah. You have a moat.

Starting point is 00:18:05 It's a 30 foot pool of money. Yeah. No, I'm sleeping. I hear a gunshot. I panic. Ooh. Then there's a text stream between our neighbors. Did anybody hear that?

Starting point is 00:18:14 Who heard the blah, blah, blah? You know, like there's a, so then I'm really like on edge. So then I grab my gun and I go downstairs. You have a gun? In my underwear. You have a gun? Mm-hmm. Be real. Yeah. What kind? I have a gun? In my underwear. You have a gun? Mm-hmm. Be real.

Starting point is 00:18:25 Yeah. What kind? I have a Glock. Yeah, yeah. Okay, so you bring your Glock. I bring my gun downstairs. Yeah. And I walk outside.

Starting point is 00:18:35 That's me. That's what I look like from American History X. Yes. And I was outside scanning around for the noises that I was hearing, because I was hearing scanning around for the noises that I was hearing, because I was hearing noises then, after the shot, so I thought- Can you, can you- Someone's on the run from the cops in my mind

Starting point is 00:18:50 and they're jumping into yards. That's my biggest fear is someone tries to like break into your house. This happened last night? No, no, no, this is like four nights ago. Okay, so I was with somebody in my house. What? Same thing.

Starting point is 00:19:01 Yeah. Okay, and this person that was in my house, a young lady, you know what I mean? Obviously. Yeah. Okay. And this person that was in my house, a young lady. You know what I mean? Obviously. Yeah. She goes, is there always a helicopter above your house? This is four nights ago.

Starting point is 00:19:14 And then you're saying I'm rich. You used to have a helicopter waiting for you at all hours that night. Yeah. I don't own it. I know I don't own it. It just takes me to the convent store. Ready to go.

Starting point is 00:19:24 It takes me to the convent store. go. It takes me to the con. No, there was literally a helicopter doing a circle in my neighbor with the spotlight. Oh, the hate, the panic. So what I'm saying, it could have been the same night that you. Heard the gunshot. Because we live five minutes away from each other.

Starting point is 00:19:35 Yes, that's true. So this could be connected. Okay, so fucking, I didn't hear a helicopter. I'm scared. It's quiet outside. There's rustling and banging. And I'm nervous, right? And I'm very scared's quiet outside. There's rustling and banging. And I'm nervous, right? And I'm very scared because I think this is how I die.

Starting point is 00:19:50 She's fine, I'll get killed. Is your wife sleeping? She's wide awake. She's scared, because we both heard it. And then of course I'm out there and rustling, rustling. I go peek around the corner. It's just a raccoon on a garbage can. That's it.

Starting point is 00:20:07 How did he shot? He had a gun. A little raccoon with a gun. I see. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he was just trying to get food. I think you're lying. Yeah, I am.

Starting point is 00:20:17 Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I feel like you're lying. No, no, but it did, there was a loud rustle. It did scare the shit out of me. But what time was it? I'm being real, because I remember going, what is going on in our neighborhood?

Starting point is 00:20:26 Had to been, not super late, but like, I mean, not early in the morning, maybe like 1 a.m. It wasn't that, it was like, I just had started to fall asleep, just after midnight. I'm so glad you brought that up, because it just brought up another thing that I have a problem with you about, okay? Today, all day today.

Starting point is 00:20:44 All day today. It kind of made me mad. Can somebody draw a raccoon you about. Okay. Today, all day today. All day today. It kind of made me mad. Can somebody draw a raccoon with a gun for the show? Yeah, please. On a trash can. Bluechew. Oh my God, I mean, I ran out of bluechew and I was panicking because I really need it.

Starting point is 00:20:59 You know, I'm a 53 year old man and I'm sexually active. Oh yeah. And I'm gonna tell you something, dude. You know what's so funny? You can take bluechew and then three hours can go by and I'm sexually active. And I'm gonna tell you something dude, you know what's so funny? You can take Bluetooth and then three hours can go by and it's still there. It's just waiting, look at this. It's like hanging out in the brush.

Starting point is 00:21:12 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like a raccoon. And then when you're ready. With a gun. Yeah, that's right. That's right. Bluetooth is a unique online service that delivers the same active ingredients

Starting point is 00:21:21 as Viagra, Cialis and Levitra, but at a fraction of the cause and in a chewable form. The process is so easy. And by the way, for all the men out there that are like, I don't know about that, I don't know how I feel about it, do yourself a favor. Bobby has been hard as a-

Starting point is 00:21:36 I'm hard now. Rock! Yeah, I'm hard now. The process is simple. Sign up at bluetshrew.com, consult one of their licensed medical providers. And once you're approved, you're gonna receive your prescription within days.

Starting point is 00:21:46 Bluechoo tablets are also made where? USA! Right here at home, baby. And they're prepared and shipped directly to your door. Discreet, by the way, so no one needs to know. You don't gotta go to a pharmacy. Take them anytime, day or night. Bobby likes to take them in the day and in the night.

Starting point is 00:22:00 And in the morning. So plan ahead or be ready whenever an opportunity arises. Bluechoo wants to help you have better sex. Discover your options at bluechew.com. And we got a special deal for our listeners. Try Bluechew free when you use the promo code badfriends. At checkout, just pay $5 for shipping. That's bluechew.com.

Starting point is 00:22:17 Promo code badfriends to receive your first month free. Visit bluechew.com for more details and important safety information. And we thank Bluechu for sponsoring the podcast. DraftKings Sportsbook. The NBA is finally back. It's my favorite sport. Here's a way to get even more into this action following your favorite players. Playing pick six from DraftKings, an official partner of the NBA. It's super simple to get started. First, download the DraftKings pick six app,

Starting point is 00:22:42 select two or more players and choose if they'll have more or less of a stat, like points, rebounds, three-pointers, whatever. I just went to the Clippers game, and I did this, and my golly, oh gosh, my golly, did James Harden do me right? And for all first-time Pick6 players, check this out. New customers play $5 and get $50 in Pick6 credits. That's incredible. Download the DraftKings Pick6 app now,

Starting point is 00:23:04 and use code BADFRIENDS. That's code BAD the DraftKings Pick Six app now and use code bad friends. That's code bad friends for new customers to play $5 and get $50 in Pick Six credits. Only on DraftKings Pick Six. The crown is yours. Gambling problem call 1-800-GAMBLER. Help is available for problem gambling call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org in Connecticut must be 18 plus agent eligibility restrictions vary by jurisdiction. Pick six not available everywhere including New York and Ontario, board where prohibited one per new customer

Starting point is 00:23:32 bonus awarded as non-withdrawable pick six credits that expire in 30 days limited time offer C terms at pick six dot draft kings.com slash promos. Morgan and Morgan. Ow. What happened? Oh, I got into an accident. Oh yeah, I just hit you, sorry. I don't know who to call, who to turn to. Me. Who are you?

Starting point is 00:23:48 Morgan and Morgan. Oh, Morgan and Morgan, that's you? Yeah. Wow, you're America's largest injury law firm. I've heard about you. You have over 100 offices nationwide and more than a thousand lawyers. That's right, that's right. Wow, that's you.

Starting point is 00:23:58 Yeah, with over $20 billion recovered for over 500,000 clients, man. Morgan and Morgan, which is me, has a proven track record of fighting to get you full and fair compensation. That's you. Yeah, with over $20 billion recovered for over 500,000 clients, man. Morgan & Morgan, which is me, has a proven track record of fighting to get you full and fair compensation, duh. That's incredible, because I've heard submitting an injury claim with Morgan & Morgan is so easy. There's a lot of hard things in life,

Starting point is 00:24:15 like putting up with Carlos on this show for you is hard. Yeah. Submitting an injury claim with Morgan & Morgan, easy. Yeah, and trying to convince myself that Andreas' breasts are manly is hard. That is very hard, but submitting an injury claim with Morgan & Morgan is very, very simple. Very easy.

Starting point is 00:24:30 If you're ever injured, you can check out Morgan & Morgan. Their fee is free, unless they win. For more information, go to forthepeople.com slash bad friends or dial pound law, pound five two nine from your cell phone. That's for the people, F-O-R-thepeople.com slash bad friends or pound law, pound five two nine from your cell. This is a paid advertisement.

Starting point is 00:24:46 Yeah, I feel like you and I are best friends, right? You're my best friend. One of my best friends. You're my best friend. I have a couple. You're the only one for me. No, I know you have a couple. Name one.

Starting point is 00:24:56 Charlie Day. That's not my best friend. He's a buddy. You're my best friend. Anyway, and we share things. Yes. Fluids. Yeah. and we share things. Yes. Fluids. Yeah. Right?

Starting point is 00:25:07 Ideas. Also our loves and dislikes. That's true. Okay. And I don't like it when you hoard things though. What did I keep from you? I'm gonna tell you in a second. Okay. Okay. I don't like it when you hoard things

Starting point is 00:25:21 and I draw the line here. Okay. Okay. Don't do that. Well, what is it? Don't do that with your fucking nose. Well, that's why I get nervous. Okay, so I was at the comedy store the other night, maybe a week ago. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:25:32 And Brent Moran goes, there's a great restaurant. Okay, and I go, really? And he goes, I think it's, you know, Rivals, like the best, why are you smiling? I know what it is. I know exactly what it is. I know you know.

Starting point is 00:25:44 All right. I know you know, okay? Okay. So he said it's BLVD, Aventura. Yeah. I had no idea about it. Right. So in my mind, I'm on a date, we go make reservations.

Starting point is 00:25:54 I sit down and the waiter comes up to me and the manager and they go, finally. And I go, finally what? They go, well, Andrew comes here twice a week. That's, stop! Stop, stop, this is the fucking truth! No way. And I tell you the truth,

Starting point is 00:26:13 and I don't like it when people laugh at truisms. It's insane. It's not insane. Twice a week? That's what he said. Twice a week, and we were wondering when you were gonna come in here, right? And I went, yeah? Like how many? They go, a lot. He comes in a lot.

Starting point is 00:26:29 No, he doesn't. I'm going to tell you why this is true. Okay. In a second. Okay. Okay. Wow. You never really ever mentioned it. Right. And then the food's great. It's excellent. It's excellent. Right. And then you, I text you the menu, a picture of the menu. Right. And then I text you the menu. A picture of the menu. A picture of the menu, right? And you go, oh yeah, that place is great. And I said, I'm close.

Starting point is 00:26:49 Yeah, and I'm close and I go there all the time. And I said, can I come over after? No. Yes, I did. Oh, maybe. And what I'm saying is that- Didn't respond. You hoarded that restaurant.

Starting point is 00:26:58 I did not. Yeah, you did. And you know what, dude? I'll start hoarding. Pissing me off, dude. I'll start hoarding restaurants and yogurt shops and coffee shops and what, dude? This is- I'll start hoarding. Pissing me off, dude. I'll start hoarding friends, restaurants, and yogurt shops, and coffee shops, and everything, right? And keep secrets to myself. That's fucked up, dude.

Starting point is 00:27:11 No, dude- That's a great restaurant. Okay? This- You do it all the time. Such a- You do it all the time! Such an exaggeration.

Starting point is 00:27:17 He does it all the time! I've shared more than I've taken away. Another one, a Mexican restaurant he's done at. Chorn. I forgot what it was called, but you're like, and I go to the spot- Oh, no. What it was is Italian restaurant. Remember that Italian restaurant near our house? Yes. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:27:29 And you go, and I was sitting there and you go, yeah, I've been coming here for years. Right? And it's like two minutes from my house. I go, hmm, never heard of it. Yeah, but first of all. Yeah, so it's hoarding thing. I share more than I hoard. Hey, Hey.

Starting point is 00:27:50 Bobby is here saying, the manager at Boulevard, BLVD says, that I go there twice a week, or I go there all the time. How many times have we gone there? You've been there twice. Thank you. We've only been, was it in the same week? Same week. No. No.

Starting point is 00:28:01 Months apart. Twice that you're aware of. Bobby. Why? Why? Bobby, what? Is that not the truth? I've only been twice.

Starting point is 00:28:11 Thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you. That's bullshit. In your fucking face. That's not, she's always been on your side. No shit. You know, in a war, she's on your side.

Starting point is 00:28:21 But first of all, twice a week is chaos. What I wanna say is- I will never, I don't hoard from you and it's not deliberate, but I've introduced you to a lot of spots. Let's be honest. I've taken you to spots and I've gone, I think you'd like this.

Starting point is 00:28:35 And he knows that's true. And you go, this is really good. Thank you for telling me. Yeah, but when you say I've been kind of here for years, then it kind of hurts me. That's fine. That place is brand new, but the Italian place was my little spot. Yes, that was- You hoarded that. Can you admit that? I find that's fine. That place is brand new, but the Italian place was my little spot.

Starting point is 00:28:45 Yes, that was- You heard of that? Can you admit that? I find that's fine. Okay, okay, so he does warn. You know why? All right. Can I tell you why?

Starting point is 00:28:51 Because I like to go alone. I used to like to go to that place alone. Okay. So sometimes when I was- Your quiet time at a fancy Italian restaurant. Yeah. I've seen you eat alone. Thank you.

Starting point is 00:29:02 I have no friends. Oh. Me fucking either. No one will eat with you. What? You're the only guy I know. Do you, what? Hello?

Starting point is 00:29:10 Hello. Oh my God, you are doctor friend. Dude. Dude. You're a professor friend, dude. Do you have so many friends? You're the fucking guy of friends, dude. Did I go to the med school for friends?

Starting point is 00:29:22 Yeah, let me see that. You're always, I'm on a golfing trip with all your friends. Let me tell you something. I'm alone. When I walk in a room- Oh my God, I can't even believe what I'm hearing right now. When I walk in a room- Well, you guys don't back me up either. You know he has more friends.

Starting point is 00:29:34 When I walk in a room, the theme song of friends comes on. I know, yeah. That's how many friends I have. Everywhere I go, I'll be there for you. Or cheer. Yeah. Where everybody knows your name. That's you. Or cheer. Yeah. Where everybody knows your name. That's you. Your cheers.

Starting point is 00:29:47 It is Bobby's Bum Bum. Yeah, yeah. You have friends. That was really good. That was really good. Thank you. But also, Carlos, all right. Let's be, can we all be honest?

Starting point is 00:29:58 Yeah, you don't hang out with a lot of people. Exactly. You're just like on dates. Thank you. So Professor Friend. Okay. This sounds like a you thing. Than a me thing. And I just like on dates. Thank you. So professor friend, okay. That sounds like a you thing. Ha ha ha ha.

Starting point is 00:30:06 Than a me thing. And I'm your best friend. Or one of them. Apparently you don't have any fucking friends. So I'm not even your best friend. You don't even have any friends. That's more- You're almost there.

Starting point is 00:30:19 I should be there. You're almost there, dude. Who else? You changed some of your behaviors. What the fuck? The hoarding. No. there, dude. Who else? You changed some of your behaviors. What the fuck? The hoarding. No. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:30:28 Open your heart completely. Name one person on earth that's not blood to you that cares about you the way I care about you. Gene Hong. Gene Hong, does he check in? Yeah, I could text you right now. He texted me today. What did he say today?

Starting point is 00:30:42 I'll show you. I'm glad you said that. Bring it up, let me see. What did he say today? I'll show you. I'm glad you said that. Bring it up, let me see. He's your best friend? Yeah, he goes, when can we do dinner and catch up? Yeah, what'd you say? And I said, this weekend.

Starting point is 00:30:55 What'd he say? What's the previous text? He goes, he goes, did you eat yet? I'm hungry and dumb already ate. I go, I am on ozimpic. And I go, I knew it. He goes, I knew it.

Starting point is 00:31:05 Fuck, I'm gonna be the fat one in the group now. Then Saturday goes dinner. Didn't respond to that. Fat one, wait, wait, wait, the group. Oh, this is interesting. Like the group of the friends? That's interesting. That's an interesting thing to bring up, your honor.

Starting point is 00:31:18 Did you just, interesting, interesting, interesting. The group, which means dumb founded. Okay, okay. Who else is in your little group? Ali Wong. Who else is which means dumbfounded. Okay, okay. Who else is in your little group? Ali Wong. Who else is in your little group? We went bowling. Jimmy O-Yang.

Starting point is 00:31:30 We went bowling. Who else is in your group? Ronnie Chang. But Asians are not considered a complete- Ken Jeong. Yeah, wait, wait. Asians are considered a full, complete person. Five.

Starting point is 00:31:39 We're like clowns, you know what I mean? Well, five to one. We're like clowns, right? If like 80 of us come out in a car, it's like one person. Well, five to one, right? Five to one. Five Asians is one regular person. Yeah, one person, right?

Starting point is 00:31:47 So my point is, is that you can't count that. I think I do. And it's also when I do Asian Korean gatherings, right? They just happen to be there. That's what friends do. Yeah. You just happen to show up. You know, and it's like a ching chong fest.

Starting point is 00:31:58 I don't know what else to call it, you know? It's an Asian fest. Yeah, yeah. I read the, I shouldn't have read that text. Yeah. It gave it away. Yeah, you buried yourself. Yeah, yeah. I read the, I shouldn't have read that text. Yeah. It gave it away. Yeah, dude, you buried yourself. Yeah, yeah, I buried myself in that.

Starting point is 00:32:08 You buried yourself. That's why I'm, you know, I'd be a bad lawyer. I would forget things. Yeah, oh no, you would just give them information they shouldn't fucking have. Yeah, yeah, yeah. By the way, speaking of lawyers. Let's not go into this yet.

Starting point is 00:32:20 Oh no. Oh no, I know. No, let's do it. Well, I mean, you asked- Let's get it over with. No, okay, you asked me why I was bummed out this yet. Oh no. Oh no, I know. Now let's do it. Well, I mean, you asked- Let's get it over with. No, okay, you asked me why I was bummed out lately. Yeah. I think that was the foundation of it.

Starting point is 00:32:32 So, I did see that, I sent this to Carlos. You rubbed it in my face last week. No, I didn't. No, I didn't. What I said was- You rubbed it in my face. I said, it's blasphemy. And I said to Carlos- With a smirk. I said, he No, I didn't. What I said was- You rubbed it in my mouth. I said, it's blasphemy. And I said to Carlos-

Starting point is 00:32:45 With a smirk. I said, he's gonna be pissed off. Yeah. Tom DeLong is being inducted into the Poway High School Hall of Fame. Tom DeLong of Blink 182. By the way, the thing that I was upset about was there was another woman that was inducted who

Starting point is 00:33:01 I don't think is famous. None of them are. Well, Tom DeLong. He's the only, he's the first guy that's famous that is actually in the Hall of Fame. Before it's like scientists, there was one guy, an actor who was like, he started a community theater in North Park.

Starting point is 00:33:17 I mean, for gay men, it's like, okay, he's in? Well, maybe you need to do something like that. Important work. Something for the community. Oh, you think I'm not doing an important work? For them. Yeah, but I don't know what they want. And when I went to school there,

Starting point is 00:33:35 I didn't know what they wanted. Yeah, I didn't feel a part of, I felt ostracized. And not by the school itself, by the people that inhabited it. Well, just the whole, I mean, you have to understand, Poway High School was that controversy where that kid wore that anti-gay t-shirt and he went to court for it.

Starting point is 00:33:52 I don't remember this. Yeah, look it up. So Poway High some kid wore, I hate gays or something like that? No, it was like a derogatory t-shirt with, you know what I mean, that expressed his point of view about. Gay is not okay, is that what he wore? I don't know, but what I wanna say is

Starting point is 00:34:08 what I've done for the school, okay? It was, I was on two sporting teams. Yeah, wrestling and- Tennis. Oh, right. What? I forgot. Yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:34:20 I was a peer counselor. You were? Yeah. Wow. I don't know why you're a smirking guy. So I would- I thought you said it was a pair counselor. You were? Yeah. Wow. I don't know why you're a smirking guy. So I would- I thought you said it was a pair counselor at first. And I thought, yeah.

Starting point is 00:34:30 Like the fruit? Mm-hmm. I didn't know they did counselors by shape. The good one. All right, come on. That was a good one. You were a peer counselor. You were on two sports.

Starting point is 00:34:44 Two sports. Everybody liked you. You were a musician counselor. You were on two sports. Two sports. Everybody liked you. You were a musician. Did you play at the school? No, I wasn't a musician then, but I was also in a play. And also fourthly though, I also was, I got sober my junior year.

Starting point is 00:34:54 Right. So my senior year, I was like, you know, I participated in, you know what I mean? 12 step kind of things. And spread a positive message, you know what I mean? At school, you know, I think what they're, they're basing it on is my nudity and my- What does that have to do with anything?

Starting point is 00:35:12 That's what I'm saying. I mean, that's my point of view. No, I think they're basing it on, I think they're basing it on the fact that you are free, creative, wild, unhinged and these people on that list are probably bridled, protected, safe. You're free, you're an artist.

Starting point is 00:35:31 They don't have any wild artists on there. Like, did you remember like, they had a counselor for, like, what was it called? It was like an occupational counselor or something where, you know, that you would see somebody, like, you know, that you would see somebody, like, you know, a staff member of the school and they would direct your life.

Starting point is 00:35:49 Yeah, occupational therapist or whatever, like, yeah. But we had that where it was like, and I remember going in, they're like, all right, well, they looked at my grades and they go, wood shop. And I go, I was a junior, I was like, wood shop? I mean, that's, because you're failing in all these things and you have no asset or ability, right?

Starting point is 00:36:07 And I'm like, you know, if I could go back now, I would go, yeah, but I'm funny. Is there a path for that? Right. But to that school, that kind of is not even a, they wouldn't never promote that or give you an option. Wasn't an artistic school. Didn't have an artistic-

Starting point is 00:36:25 Yeah, it's like, it's either you become an engineer or a lawyer, doctor, whatever, whatever, right? Or, you know, a businessman. Or you're working with wood. Right. You know what I mean? Carving, you say, I don't know what, you know what I mean? You know what I mean?

Starting point is 00:36:38 You're a welder or whatever, you know what I mean? I've also never, never in my life seen an Asian carpenter. Yeah, you wouldn't last a day. I've never seen an Asian. Look, Google, are there Asian carpenters? I cannot. Was Jesus Asian? I don't think there's ever been an Asian carpenter.

Starting point is 00:36:55 Yes, there are Asian carpenters. There are buildings? Who built the buildings in Asia? The buildings in Asia? We send white people over there. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Africans, not Africans. There's a guy's Instagram called the Asian Carpentry.

Starting point is 00:37:06 Exactly. Well, let me see some of his work. Let's see some of his work, dude. Look at that table. Dude, that's a standard, very good table. He built just the legs, it says. He didn't even build the top. All right, fuck this guy.

Starting point is 00:37:17 Anyway, that's nice. Doesn't look any carpentry to me. Oh, stair-casing. That's the ceiling. Oh. I mean. Oh, stair-casing. That's the ceiling. Oh.

Starting point is 00:37:24 Oh. Oh. Anyway. Anyway. But what, I mean, it's just, so I remember at school, when I was in high school, I was like, I remember going, oh, I'm fucked. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:37:39 I felt the exact same. Cause they're like, you have, they told you to your face, there is no future for you. And this is where we suggest you go. And I'm like, I can't believe it. There's no way. So I had to go out in the world and feel some pain. And then it drove me into whatever I'm doing now. But- Look at what you look at you now. I think that in many ways, Paiwha High School drove me into this because it's like they didn't support me. Right.

Starting point is 00:38:08 And so- That made you stronger. So now, you know what? With that point of view, I don't wanna be in the Hall of Fame. Good, but you do. I don't. You do a little bit.

Starting point is 00:38:17 I do. Yeah. I sure do, but you know what? But if it doesn't happen, I understand. It should happen and I don't understand. And I will say this, I'm going down to San Diego to do shows down there. I'm thinking about stopping by.

Starting point is 00:38:30 No, when are you going? Paying a little visit. When are you going? I think it's in February. I don't know. I have to go with you. Yeah, you do. I think I'm gonna pay a little fucking visit to-

Starting point is 00:38:40 To Powai High School? I think it's the move. In fact, you know what I would love to do? Yeah. You Doug Stanhope used to do shows at Montreal across the street from like the corporate venues or whatever, I think it was Montreal. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:38:53 Do you have you heard about this? I remember that, yeah. We should do a show across the street, a pop-up show across the street from Poway High. Where is Poway High? Look at Poway and what's across the street. Is it like a field or something? I think there's a theater attached to Poway High School.

Starting point is 00:39:03 I don't know if you can rent that out. It's gotta be theirs though. Well, that's right. That's on them. Yeah. Listen up, if there's anybody at the Performing Arts Center. Like look at the-

Starting point is 00:39:11 That's nothing to do with the high school, I think. Yeah, that Poway Center for the- I think it's attached to the school, but I think that it's private. Like we can rent it. Maybe we should do our 250 episode from there. Just getting sick of his shit. I know. Maybe we should do our 250 episode from there. Just getting sick of his shit. I know.

Starting point is 00:39:28 Just getting real sick of his shit. I understand. Let's let go of this. I mean, are you in yours, Hall of Fame, at your school? There is no Hall, we don't have a Hall of Fame, but I'm in like the Wikipedia page. Yeah, me too, I'm in the Wikipedia. Yeah, no, we don't have a Hall of Fame.

Starting point is 00:39:39 Yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't have one? No, it's actually very weird. I've never heard- Why don't you start one up? Well, I've never heard of this until your school. Do you guys know about your hall of fame having, Andres, I'm clearly not asking you,

Starting point is 00:39:48 you didn't go to high school. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, you know, Carlos, your school doesn't have a hall of fame. No, my dad's in the hall of fame at the military school I went to. That's not what we asked. That's not what we asked, bud.

Starting point is 00:39:57 Interesting. I was just proud. Yeah, it has nothing to do with you. Anyway, how about you, McCone? I don't know. Can I tell you what I think it is? What? And you're gonna be so mad.

Starting point is 00:40:05 Yeah. It's just too far away from fame. What do you mean? I'm too far away from fame? No, what I'm saying is that like, you know, obviously when you go out into the, you know, it's just less famous people come from smaller towns. Like for instance,

Starting point is 00:40:19 if you go to like Beverly Hills High, right? Oh, right. How many famous people came from there? A lot, because. A lot. Because the businesses just are enveloped around them. Right. There's access and, you know,

Starting point is 00:40:30 through nepotism and whatnot. Yes, yes, yes. And it's in the city where the thing is. And the know-how, it's in the city, right? So I'm sure if you saw the Beverly Hills High School Hall of Fame, there's a, it's stacked. But then if you go to like, you know, Peoria, Illinois, some school there is Hall of Fame.

Starting point is 00:40:44 There's probably nobody famous that came from there. So why would they have a Hall of Fame? Well, we have a not so, I know what you're saying, although yours isn't impressive either, let's be honest. It's not like you're saying a million very cool famous people can go to. Tony Gwynn went to my school, baseball player. Stephanie Seymour, supermodel,

Starting point is 00:41:03 who had a baby with Axel Rose. Not a real thing, nobody cares. Okay. Nobody cares, not a real thing, baseball player. Stephanie Seymour, supermodel, who had a baby with Axel Rose. Not a real thing, nobody cares. Okay. Nobody cares, not a real thing, nobody cares. I care. Yeah, but that's a bullshit. Don't make a real thing. Tom DeLong.

Starting point is 00:41:13 One guy, yeah, that's the guy. And me. No, you're not there. You're not even on it, so no. That's wrong. It's not you. All these other people are nobodies, you're wrong. Okay.

Starting point is 00:41:22 Tony Gwynn, that was the only one. And by the way, these guys don't even know who Tony Gwynn is. Only I do, because I like baseball. Well, they need one from your school. Andrew Santino. You, I know, that's it. No, there's, no, there is actually a lot. A lot of pro athletes. Oh, that's good.

Starting point is 00:41:33 A lot of athletes. Okay, good. Oh, Bob, did you see you're at a sperm bank as an option for people to want their babies to look like you? What, seriously? Yeah, you're under Bill Paxton, young. Wow, Benedict Wong, Bill Paxton, and Bobby Lee.

Starting point is 00:41:47 Who did the check mark? You did? Carlos. Yeah, yeah. Mark. Rocket money! You know how much money I've saved this year? A ton.

Starting point is 00:41:58 Why? Because of rocket money. Because I have so many subscriptions on my phone and stuff, and I'm not even aware of it. They're like, it's a variety of like, you know, like games. Ambience sound apps or games or VPN, this and this and that, whatever, whatever.

Starting point is 00:42:13 And it's like, it's all condensed and now I'm saving hundreds and hundreds of dollars. It's amazing, because Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. You like money, don't you?

Starting point is 00:42:27 See all of your subscriptions in one place and know exactly where your money is going for any you don't want anymore. Rocket Money can help you cancel them with a few taps. It's so easy. And they show it to you right in front of your face. You'll be surprised at how much money you're wasting. Rocket Money has over 5 million users,

Starting point is 00:42:44 including me and Bob, has saved a total of 500 million in canceled subscriptions, saving members up to $740 a year when using all of the apps features. It's so simple. You can create a personalized budget with custom categories to keep your spending on track, get you right to the place you need to be,

Starting point is 00:42:59 because the end of the year is coming and you want money for the holidays. Stop wasting money on things you don't use. Cancel your own one subscriptions by going to rocketmoney.com slash bad friends. That's rocketmoney.com slash bad friends. Rocketmoney.com slash bad friends. Red One.

Starting point is 00:43:13 We're coming at you. Is the movie event of the holiday season. Santa Claus has been kidnapped. You're gonna help us find him. You can't trust this guy. He's on the list. He's a naughty lister. Naughty lister?

Starting point is 00:43:24 Dwayne Johnson. We got snowmen. Chris Evans. You can't trust this guy. He's on the list. He's a naughty lister. Naughty lister? We got snowmen! It might just go back to the car. Let's save Christmas. I'm not gonna say that. Say it. Alright. Let's save Christmas. There it is. Only in theaters November 15th.

Starting point is 00:43:44 The Sephora Savings Event is here. World in my hand, I'll take this and that. And that. Ooh, and this. Oh, it's true. Find everything you want on sale at the Sephora Savings Event. It only happens twice a year, and it's on now through November 11th. Find brands like Rare Beauty, Glow Recipe, Valentino, K18, and more all for less.

Starting point is 00:44:06 Shop at Sephora today. Limitations apply. Must be a beauty insider. See terms at sephora.com for complete details. Okay, so how about this from now on? Let's not talk about Poway High School Hall of Fame ever again. I don't need to.

Starting point is 00:44:19 I just wanted to. Because last week it kind of bummed me out, but now I'm kind of going through the process of letting it go and I'm gonna let it go. It's an injustice is all I'm gonna say. I mean, I truly believe it is though. I really do. I'm not being facetious.

Starting point is 00:44:29 I mean, can I just try to just verbally say why I think it is? Your case, state your case. You think I should state my case? Without bragging. Yeah. I mean, that'll be hard to do, but go ahead. Okay, so I have two,

Starting point is 00:44:44 I have one very popular podcast with you. Yeah. I have one that's fairly popular, Tiger Belly. Okay, so then I also was on a sketch show. A cultural iconic sketch show. On television for eight years. Say a culturally iconic.

Starting point is 00:45:01 A culturally iconic sketch show for eight years. Correct. I've done numerous bit parts in comedy movies. And television shows. And I've been a series regular on a couple of TV shows. One of the most famous of a remake of a TV show as well. Which one's that? Oh yeah, Sex and the City.

Starting point is 00:45:19 Sex and the City. That's a recurring, yeah. Reservation, I mean, I've just done a lot of- Hawaii Five-O. Yeah, Magnum PI. Same thing. I know it is. I mean, I've just done a lot of- Oye five O. Yeah, Magnum PI. Same thing. I know it is. I've done-

Starting point is 00:45:29 You got yelled at by Adam Sandler? Yeah, I got yelled at by Adam Sandler. How many people have been yelled at by Adam Sandler on that list? Also I've done the Tonight Show as a standup, and now I'm coming out with a special on a major streaming. I mean, I've done a lot.

Starting point is 00:45:42 A lot. You know what I mean? A lot. And if that doesn't do it- lot. A lot. You know what I mean? A lot. And if that doesn't do it, What does? I don't know what else does. Yeah, I don't know. So then it's personal.

Starting point is 00:45:52 They just don't like me and what I stand for. And that's okay. That is okay. That's okay. Who's on the board? Can we find out who's on the board? I don't wanna know. They don't like me.

Starting point is 00:46:02 I'm gonna call them. And it's because I go, and all that stuff. You know what I mean? And that's just who I am. Don't show us any more sperm banks. Is that where you're gonna pop up? Yeah, no more sperm banks.

Starting point is 00:46:12 No more sperm banks. You can bring up some other bullshit if you had it. I saw you digging. It's embarrassing to fight for that. What I just did there was embarrassing. No, it's not embarrassing. Yeah. You deserve to be recognized.

Starting point is 00:46:24 What do you got? What is that? What is that? What is this? What do you got? What do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, Yeah, I just found this gay Chinese guy. I thought you'd like him. Hmm.

Starting point is 00:46:30 Oh, okay. You have to say gay in Chinese. Tong xin lian. Tong zhi. Bai he. What's his name? Say gay. Luke.

Starting point is 00:46:42 If that was my brother. My dad. Oh my God. How awesome. His name is Luke. Luke. Luke Chinese. Luke. If that was my brother, my dad, oh my God. How awesome, his name is Luke. Luke. Luke Chinese. Luke, come here. And you would never see Luke again.

Starting point is 00:46:52 Luke Chinese. Yeah. His name's just Luke Chinese. He's the best. There's a three ways to say gay in Chinese. Yeah. Now, can I, I don't want to be racist against my own ethnicity.

Starting point is 00:47:03 It's not really. Why? That's near you. Okay. It's not really. Why? That's near you. Okay. He's Chinese. No, I didn't say national ethnicity. Yeah, but- He's Asian, isn't the ethnicity.

Starting point is 00:47:14 Kind of. He's Chinese. Oh, so there are Uber Asians? They're the most Asian. Oh, they are, okay. They're the most Asian of the Asians. My bad, my bad. Okay, so he's full blown Asian.

Starting point is 00:47:24 He's 100% Asian, yeah. Yeah, yeah, and I'm just mid drip. Yeah, you're- Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you're the left one. Am I adjacent? Yeah, you're right next to me. Yeah, and without being controversial, right? Does he have a big head?

Starting point is 00:47:39 I would say- Let me, okay. I would say- No, I'm a cop that guy robbed you. Yeah. Right. And, and you got to do so on what was, what did the guy look like when I, when he, the person that robbed you,

Starting point is 00:47:52 you get a good look at him? Yeah. It was a Chinese guy. Yeah. Yeah. So Chinese shaved head. Yeah. Or not shaved head, but buzz hair, a buzz hair. All right. So I'm going to get my illustrator. Come here. Frank, Frank, Frank comes. Okay. So I haven't really, cause buzz head,

Starting point is 00:48:04 but like shape of the face, Frank comes, okay. So I haven't really, because Buzzhead, but like shape of the face? Shape of the face? Yeah, just the overall shape of it. It was overall, yeah. It was, what do you mean? Well, you said the overall shape, it wasn't overall shape. Oh, so that's-

Starting point is 00:48:19 Sorry, oval, all shape, oval shape. Oh, no, oval shape. Yeah, it was all- Oh, it's oval, so is it more wider or is it top to bottom? I mean, can you? It's kind of both. Oh, so just a gigantic, like a moon.

Starting point is 00:48:33 Kind of like a moon. All right, let's just do a moon. Like a moon. Okay, so, and his body. His body. Yes, his body, his body. I remember it. Yeah, yeah, what's his body like?

Starting point is 00:48:46 Thick. Oh, so- Well-fed. Right, well-fed. Not hungry. So Mars. Yes. It was kind of the moon and Mars.

Starting point is 00:48:55 Mars and then moon. Correct. All right, put that out. I think they find it. They got him. They got him right away. That's interesting. Chinese Luke, we love you.

Starting point is 00:49:04 We love you. I just want to let you know we love you. A lot of followers? Yeah, Luke Chinese, he's found it. They got him. They got him right away. That's interesting. Chinese Luke, we love you. We love you. I just want to let you know we love you. A lot of followers? Yeah, Luke Chinese. He's killing it. 141. He educates people on how to say things in Chinese. Carlos just goes for how to say gay in Chinese.

Starting point is 00:49:15 In case you go to China, is that what that's for? Yeah, we run into some Chinese people in Singapore. Interesting. And we just might. And you've got to be, you know, you know, when we go to Singapore, you better be on your best behavior. They will lock you up for fucking around over there.

Starting point is 00:49:29 You know this, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is not that not a joke. I'm not making a joke. Well, what fuck around would get me in trouble? I don't know. You know, even asking, hey, you guys have any holes against wall? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:49:39 Where are the holes at? Yeah, yeah. They'd be like, asking for holes. 100%. Yeah. If you spit gum on the ground, they beat the shit out of you. Well, I already looked up the- Look up crazy laws in Singapore.

Starting point is 00:49:48 It's nuts. They're gonna get you, bud. Chewing gum is not illegal. But selling it is. The penalty for selling gum is up to $100,000. So we can't, can we try to, can we try to smuggle some gum across the- Yeah, that's why we're bringing McCone.

Starting point is 00:50:04 All right. Second one is bad for you. So here's the thing. Smoking is illegal Yeah, that's why we're bringing McCone. All right. Second one is bad for you. So here's the thing. Smoking is illegal everywhere and e-cigarettes are banned. You gotta bring up, you gotta bring a 12 pack of bubble yum. Yeah, bubble-icious. Bubble-icious.

Starting point is 00:50:16 If I don't see that in Singapore, dude, we're gonna have a problem. Also- So write that down, Carlos. Yeah, write it down. So public smoking, I smoke, so smoking is illegal. Smoking is illegal in most places. E-cigarettes are banned. If caught smoking in public, you can face up to $800 fine. Oh, fuck it down. So public smoking, I smoke. So smoking is illegal. Smoking is illegal in most places. E-cigarettes are banned. If caught smoking in public, you can face up to $800 fine.

Starting point is 00:50:27 Oh, fuck it, I have $800. Connecting to someone else's wifi. Oh my God, I do that all the time! All the time. Whoa! Wait, that's punishable three years ago. By debt? Oh no. Or $10,000 fine.

Starting point is 00:50:38 Oh my God. All right, so what is- Jaywalking, $1,000. I'm a Jaywalker. I be Jaywalking. I'm Jay-Jaywalking. Yeah, dude, I Jaywalk all the time. dollars. I'm a Jaywalker. I'm Jaywalking. I'm Jay Jaywalking. Yeah, dude, I Jaywalk all the time. Not flushing a public toilet,

Starting point is 00:50:49 leaving poop or piss in a urinal can result in $150. That's it, I'm not going. I can't, I can't go. This one's gonna hurt you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Walking naked at home. There's a penalty for walking around naked at your own home.

Starting point is 00:51:01 Insane. Feeding pigeons, this one's for McCone. That's a criminal offense, buddy. Yeah, yeah, dude. $500 fine. That's on you, dude. Don't get any ideas. So what's it?

Starting point is 00:51:10 Singing in public. Oh, shit. Singing or reciting, so Jet Ski's gonna be in deep shit. Yeah. Illegal commercial. This is what we wanna, we wanna test some of these rules. Yeah, I do.

Starting point is 00:51:19 So here's what I'm gonna do, okay? I wanna get a whole pack of bubble yump sticking in my mouth. And naked chew on it two cigarettes I was dangling out of my mouth, right and I'm going to be half naked Yeah in the streets and I'm gonna go it's a hard knock life And I'm gonna just see how long it's gonna tell my god you think quick yeah so fast. Yeah Wait a minute

Starting point is 00:51:44 Being homosexual punishment is up to two years in fast. Oh yeah. Wait a minute. Being homosexual, punishment is up to two years in jail. Oh Carlos, you can't go. No, we'll just go for one each. All right. That's insane. Drinking alcohol between 10 p.m., 10.30 p.m. and 7 a.m. What does that say?

Starting point is 00:52:00 What? It doesn't say, I don't see that. Oh yeah, there it is. Holy shit. Oh no. We can't fly a kite that interferes't see that. Oh yeah, there it is. Holy shit. Oh no. Oh what? We can't fly a kite that interferes with public traffic. Oh no.

Starting point is 00:52:08 What do we do with all that fucking kites? We got a whole bin of kites. That sucks. We were gonna bring all those kites. So what's busking? Is singing for money on the street. Busking, you know when you're like singing with a hat. I was gonna bring my acoustic guitar.

Starting point is 00:52:21 How are we? Dude, we should be busking. We should busk over there. Can you imagine they fucking arrest you for busking? That's insane. Firecrackers, pirated content or banned pornographic stuff. I mean, we're not gonna bring any magazines, I guess. Okay, oh, wait, wait.

Starting point is 00:52:35 I bet you money they block porn sites there. You VPN. Gotta get a VPN on your phone. I have a VPN. Yeah, then you can watch whatever you want. That's what I do. Okay, okay, okay. Yeah, they block porn 100%. Because I've always VPN. Yeah, then you can watch whatever you want. That's what I do. Okay. Yeah, they block porn 100%. Because I've always wanted to like, because I've never really been to a,

Starting point is 00:52:48 you know, a strip club at an Asian country. Me neither. Oh, they have them there? Do they have strip clubs in Singapore? Yeah. What's it called? 10 men's club. That might be one you don't want to go to.

Starting point is 00:53:01 Why? Well, because it's 10 men. You're healing. Yeah, but what if I know those men? Why? Well, cause it's 10 men. You're healing, you find eight men? What if I know those men? Wait, what's club? Oh shit, John. Club to Emperor, we're a bit run down.

Starting point is 00:53:12 The women are beautiful, which makes for good eye candy. Well, they're honest. Okay. So they do have it out there. I guess, but it doesn't really look like, is porno, is por- Carlos, we gotta go. Hell yeah.

Starting point is 00:53:23 Hell yeah. Is porn illegal in Singapore? I feel like it. Yes. Do we wanna go? Yeah. I don't know. I mean, they-

Starting point is 00:53:32 All right, Google, if they have any Michelin star restaurants. I mean, that's an incentive. Yeah. I bet. What's the best, like top three restaurants? Cause I love food. Oh, there you go.

Starting point is 00:53:44 Michelin guide to Singapore. Yeah. Oh, we, so- All right. They've got a lot. Oh, here's the deal, dude. We will go to all these. No, no, no. I need someone from our team to make reservations before.

Starting point is 00:53:56 I'm being real. Odette. I'm writing the stone. Yeah. At least four of them. I also have a list of places that we can go. Cause my friends, my friends that have gone have told us their spots that are great. Scary Times USA?

Starting point is 00:54:07 Yeah, it could also work as a promo. We had a great, I had a great time in Scary Times. I think it was better than the last one we did. Yeah, it was great. I think that if all of them went like that, I'd be encouraged to do more. I had so much fun on it. You know what it was is that we didn't rehearse that much.

Starting point is 00:54:23 You know, you guys kept it loose. We had good bits lined up. Yeah, I mean, we kind of knew the directions, but it's like in terms of order. And so I think they were mixed up a little bit, but I was fine with it. I thought, I just thought the guest was great. I was surprised to see the angry grandmother.

Starting point is 00:54:39 Yeah, she was great. What a sweet lady. You know what they drove here from Michigan? I just love her and her grandson so much. And then- So funny. Yeah, and then- Dax Flame came by.

Starting point is 00:54:47 Love Dax. The Goopadopolis came. The Goopadopolis came and I thought- On top of that, we had a drag queen book reading. Yeah. Cause I wanted to get educated. I thought Jules was fun. I thought the whole thing was very positive

Starting point is 00:55:02 and we should do it again. I would love to do it again. I had a great time. I like doing stuff like that. Oh yeah, it's different than this because it's like it's looser. It's wild. It's wild.

Starting point is 00:55:11 And the interaction with the fans. I do love when we get to talk to the fans, bringing them up on the screen, seeing them in their home. I mean, we could dedicate for a second to talk about our fans for a second because I don't think we do that enough. Give it to me. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:55:23 It's the thing that keeps me going, I think. Oh, that's beautiful and sad at the same time. No, it is sad. It's more sad than beautiful. It's the thing that makes me kind of want to get up and put one foot in front of the other and move forward. That we have people, we've met them in the streets. Yeah. And it just it's a real surprise and a real blessing.

Starting point is 00:55:51 And I I've just been. What? Why'd you shake your head? Because I don't believe it. I would like to address something in the room. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

Starting point is 00:56:14 no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, And we do it in jest. I really mean this. I think we should change it up. Because right there, right there was fucking out of pocket. Out of pocket. It was unaligned with my morals and my system.

Starting point is 00:56:36 Unaligned, blatant disrespect. Blatant disrespect. And- Cringe worthy, if I'll be honest. So I've noticed lately, you talk to me in a certain way as if we're bros. That's so not true, Bob. As if we're both captains of the same ship.

Starting point is 00:56:50 No. And on this ship, dude. You're scooping shit down below. I'm the captain. No, that's projection. That's how you would act. Even that respond right there is what I'm talking about. Even just that respond right there.

Starting point is 00:57:01 I don't curse at you or anything. That response to everything you're saying right now, dude, is what I'm talking about. This is how I grew up. Okay. I'm a fly at you or anything. That response to everything you're saying right now, dude, is what I'm talking about. This is how I grew up. Okay. I'm having a flashback. No, you never used to be like this. And so for me to get vulnerable to talk about the fans and for you to call me out on something

Starting point is 00:57:14 that wasn't even a thing, right, is really hurtful. It is. And- Do I have time to apologize? No, there's no time. No, you did it. The damage is done. So I'm gonna highly consider

Starting point is 00:57:26 maybe coming up with other options. I'm okay with that. Yeah. Yeah. Let's talk about all the group. Okay. Might as well. McCone. Yeah. You've been a lot better with me. Impressive. You're not needy.

Starting point is 00:57:38 You know what I mean? And I think you've softened a little bit. I think you know how to read me in the situation. And I think that you're good for right now. You're okay. Yeah. Fancy. I will never do your zombie movie.

Starting point is 00:57:56 I will never do it. You know, in fact, I will do nothing outside of this with you. Yeah. You know, I think that nothing outside of this with you. Yeah. I think that you attack me way more than you attack Andrew. That's true. You know what I mean? Yeah, that's undeniable.

Starting point is 00:58:11 About how fat I am and gay. What? What? Yeah, you agree? Yeah, but you know what? Yeah. You're honestly though. Oh yeah, yeah, you speak your mind.

Starting point is 00:58:24 You are skating on thin ice. There's no ice, there's no ice. All right, well you're on a lake. Yeah, you have skates on and you're in the water. Why, what did I do that's so bad besides- He's the last couple of times he said to me that you're frustrating him for some reason. And I think it's because, look,

Starting point is 00:58:43 you run the Instagram account for Bad Friends, right? You do a great job. Thank you. I think a little bit of that follower number is going to your head a little bit. I mean, we should all put a milli. See? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:58:57 See? It's going to his head. Are you using it to DM people? No, I do that on my own account. But I mean, do you ever? Like transfer the girl over to Ray Ricardo's? Uh-huh. Obviously.

Starting point is 00:59:09 Okay. So it's, he's got power now. You know, I also- A good amount of power. Yeah, I also want to say this, and this is from my heart. Yeah. And managing the Australian tour.

Starting point is 00:59:19 And you're doing a great job. Great job. I didn't say you were doing a good job. I'm saying your relationship with me. Yeah, he's talking about our- And how I feel in the workplace. Okay. And for many years, I thought that you work for us

Starting point is 00:59:34 and we happen to be at Seven Ackeys. Right. But the truth is you work for Seven Ackeys and you're a spy. That's insane. Yeah, you're a spy because I see you over there, right? And you know the woodwork, very comfortable there. Very comfortable.

Starting point is 00:59:50 And that's, you know, I understand now that you're not really on our ship, you're a hired gun. But I should know that place because I go to work there. I should know my way around. This does sound like some spy shit though. It's spy shit. No, I'm a double agent. That's what we some spy shit though. It's spy shit, dude. No, I'm a double agent. That's what we're saying.

Starting point is 01:00:07 Yeah, that's not a good thing. That's not a good thing. What the fuck he's saying? No, that's bad. That's not a good thing. You're working both sides. Yeah. So what's the real end game? Yeah.

Starting point is 01:00:15 Just hanging with my bros. I just want to- No, no, no, no, no. No, that's not what it is. That is it. That's not it. No, no, no, no. That's not it. No. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:00:22 What's the real end game? What's the end game here, dude? Our demise? I have had this fantasy. Here we go. This is the truth. That's not it. No. Yeah. What's the real end game? What's the end game here, dude? Our demise? I have had this fantasy. Here we go. This is the truth. Let's hear it. Yeah, finally. I love it.

Starting point is 01:00:31 No, it has nothing to do with Andrew. Oh no. What is it? That I come in with some really good news, like guys, I finally did it. I have another job. I thought you'd be like so proud of me. I didn't need your help to get there.

Starting point is 01:00:45 I'm gonna go spread my wings and I'm gonna say like, fuck you, Bobby. Wow. Because you're gonna make fun of me in that moment and I'm gonna be prepared. So you daydream about telling Bobby to go fuck himself. That's like a moment. No, it's a night dream sometimes.

Starting point is 01:01:01 Oh, this is like an immersive dream where you feel it. It's paralysis, I can't even get out of it. But you feel it, you're saying fuck you to him and it feels good in your dream. Yeah. Wow. You didn't say hi to me or Andres for five minutes at Andrew's party

Starting point is 01:01:18 and then you made fun of us for having a conversation alone. I should be allowed to talk to fancy. Okay. I understand. You don't understand. Let's talk about something else I understand now. I know, I understand it. It just came to me like, you know.

Starting point is 01:01:34 You saw it. I saw it all. Wow. Like the first time I saw it, you know what I mean? You know where they live? Yeah. Right? Right.

Starting point is 01:01:43 Yeah, I put the glasses on. I know what it is. It's clear. I see the writing in the wall. You know what I mean? I see the world. I see the matrix. And it's again stacked up against me. And I have to survive.

Starting point is 01:01:55 You do, you have to fight back. I do have to survive. Because you can't just sit there. I can't sit there and let them take over. Right. Yeah, and I think I'm generous. The guy cleaning the boat can like sharpen his knife at night and dream about murdering the captain. Wow. Oh, Mike. It's a common

Starting point is 01:02:13 thing. Wow. Wow. This is how you feel. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We're finally getting. I love it. This is the real stuff. This is it. I love it. This is the real stuff. No, what's real? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, that's bullshit. So tell, go. Everyone in comedy, you've always been my homie. You and Andrew, I've always trusted you guys. Yeah, but.

Starting point is 01:02:31 Yeah, but what, but what? But sometimes you have bully tactics. I don't have bully tactics. Oh, that's not talking to me in fancy. When you walk in, you only talk to the famous people. It was busy. I was busy talking to the famous people. Oh, okay.

Starting point is 01:02:43 Thank you, sorry. Yeah, yeah. I walk in, oh, there's famous, famous, oh, I go to the famous people. Oh, okay. Thank you, sorry. Yeah, yeah. I walk in, oh, there's famous, oh, I go to the guys I see every day. I mean, what are you talking about? But that's his job to go talk to other people. Exactly, it's work. He's a personality.

Starting point is 01:02:55 You know, and you should know that. You're right. You know what I mean? You're fucking right. You know, that's time that you were hitting on Kaila when I was dating her. That is insane. What?

Starting point is 01:03:04 You know what I mean? You don't think I know about that either, dude. So you know me, you want to go, you want to go, you want to go. Whoa. Whoa, whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa. All right.

Starting point is 01:03:12 Have you had an issue recently with somebody? Yeah. Okay. That's why I can feel this. Yeah. Something's going on. Something's going on with him, yeah. Because you know, when he, something's going on, he tacks.

Starting point is 01:03:23 And he's attacking me, you know. You're on- Listen, guy, you know, here's the truth, guy, right? I love tacks. And he's attacking me. You're on to- Listen, guy, here's the truth, guy. I love you too. That's not what I said. What? He said, here's the truth. I know, he was about to say, I love you.

Starting point is 01:03:32 No. No. I've always had a sense that I liked you more than you liked me. That's so- I felt that. Me too. And I'm willing to fight your hate with my love.

Starting point is 01:03:48 Thank you. That is interesting. Yeah, it's pretty interesting, huh? And can I tell you something about that? Tell me about it. When you said fight hate with love. Yeah. You know who did that?

Starting point is 01:03:58 Oh yeah. Jesus. That's right. And what did your counselor in high school tell you to be? A carpenter. Mm-hmm. So it is right here. Exactly, dude. You are a carpenter. Mm-hmm. So it is right here. Exactly, dude.

Starting point is 01:04:06 You are a carpenter. And you're a carpenter of the soul. So what you're doing is you're building- Building cabinets. Well, a love castle is what I was gonna say. Okay, yeah. You're building a love castle. And others things.

Starting point is 01:04:17 Of course. Gazebos and whatnot. Sure, they have to be built on the outside, but build the love castle. Yeah, and go ahead, throw in a joke. Go ahead. Throw in a joke. Go ahead. Throw in a joke. I'll let you have it.

Starting point is 01:04:27 And. Go, say it. I'll have it over here. I'm building like a little gazebos. Little gazebos, yeah, you have to build those as well. Yeah, can't. Yeah. And the stairs on the ceiling.

Starting point is 01:04:36 Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. It wasn't even funny. It wasn't even a good joke. It wasn't even funny. We waited for a fucking bomb. We waited all that time. We waited for a fucking bomb and stairs on the ceiling. Dude, why did you laugh so hard at that? Because he knew how bad it was. Oh my God, it was pretty bad.

Starting point is 01:04:59 Oh my God. They look like fucking stairs, dude. Hey, Bobby's building a love castle, cabinets and gazebos. And if Carlos is gonna come at you, throwing fireballs of hate flame, guess what? I have a love shield. You have a love shield

Starting point is 01:05:15 and you did a benefit for firefighters. So they will be there if you need them to put out this negative fire. That's really what I feel. This podcast has been about grievances, no? Grievances, a lot of grievances. Yeah. I've got another one I'd like to fucking air out.

Starting point is 01:05:28 I would love to hear your grievances. This is what the show's about. Air out a little grievance here if you don't mind. McCone. Yeah. Exactly. Got a little something, something with you. I knew it.

Starting point is 01:05:37 Hey. Just step up to the mic. Preach. Preach, my friend. You're not even gonna believe this. You know what? Maybe you are. I will believe it.

Starting point is 01:05:47 Okay, good. Because he can do anything. Mm-hmm. All right, he's diabolical. He is. All right, so- Endless. Tell it to me, friend.

Starting point is 01:05:55 Okay, this guy, he's going to Detroit with me this week in Detroit and Grand Rapids. I said, you know, I'm gonna get you out there so you can film and stuff like that. Sure, why not? What's my budget for cameras? That's what he says. What's my budget for cameras? That's what he says. What's my budget for cameras?

Starting point is 01:06:07 My budget for cameras? I'm sorry, he's not Aaron Sorkin. No, he thinks he is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm trying to expand. What's my budget? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wait, time out.

Starting point is 01:06:15 This is an even better one. I said, well, let's get you the flights. Let's look at the flights. Very expensive flights, weren't they? They were. Very expensive. I call, we take care of it. It's fine. Let's get the flights.

Starting point is 01:06:26 Text, hey, I'll show you, hey. Wait, wait, wait, hold on. If he says, honestly dude, if he mentions anything about business class, Oh yeah. I'm gonna lose my fucking mind. I'm being real. I will lose my fucking mind.

Starting point is 01:06:43 Comfort plus or better. But then what did he say? Can I get comfort plus or better? I'll fucking show you comfort plus. Go get him. Go fuck him up. Go fuck this guy up. He thinks he needs room for all of his camera equipment.

Starting point is 01:06:53 I say, you're not gonna put that under the seat. I'm tall and I have to put under the seat. No, no, no. Business class. No, WestJet. No, Spear-E. Yeah. Spirit in the air.

Starting point is 01:07:03 You know what, dude? Cancel it. All right. Yeah. Fuck it. air. You know what, dude, cancel it. All right. Yeah. Fuck it. That's a good call. You know what, it's like, you give them an inch, they take a mile.

Starting point is 01:07:11 All of it, they take all of it, first of all. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You've heard that phrase before, right? That's what you are, dude. And I thought you were giving people an inch. Whoa. Fucking fucker, dude. Oh, come on. Fucking fucker, dude. So good.

Starting point is 01:07:30 Fucker, dude. What a fucking fuck fuck. Holy shit. I've never, why are you laughing? I'm mad. Yeah, that was insane. Step back from the mic. Yeah, step back from the mic.

Starting point is 01:07:39 Jesus Christ. What do you say? Let's talk about giving people an inch. Yeah. Really good. That's pretty good. Now, take notes, Spaniard. Yeah, yeah. That's the kind of shit we like over here.

Starting point is 01:07:50 Yeah, that was a good one. That's gonna get him back in the running. Yeah, yeah. Not even with me. No, no, but still, as a whole. Not even with me, but we took a couple of steps back. Okay, you know, but wow. Wow.

Starting point is 01:08:04 All right, Carlos, clear the air finally. Just say what you need to say. Yeah, go ahead. Because I know you want to just say it. So just say what you want to say. I'm sorry, Bob. No, that's not what it is. That's not what it is.

Starting point is 01:08:18 What are you sorry about? I'm sorry that I had those dark feelings about wanting to murder you. And I thought that in our final moment of me coming here and wanting to spread my wings that you'd be proud. Yeah. Yeah. That's not what I was mad about.

Starting point is 01:08:34 You brought that up with unsolicited. Yeah. I mean, I didn't even need to know that. You know what I mean? You made it worse by bringing that up. Way worse. Yeah, what I'm saying is that I was giving a heartfelt message to the fans,

Starting point is 01:08:46 and you thought I was lying. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's like, now I know way more information, and now I feel even more angry. Yeah. You know what I mean? It's like, why would you have these fantasies?

Starting point is 01:08:57 I've never had a dreadful fantasy about you. You know what I mean? I've had fantasies of like saving you when you were drowning or something. Really? Oh yeah. Emotionally. Emotionally.

Starting point is 01:09:08 Yeah, yeah, yeah. But my point is that I've only thought positive. I've only said positive things about you in the world, right? That's right. And for you to even have- He yelled at me so many times. Dude, that's my role as a fucking boss. I'm sensitive sometimes.

Starting point is 01:09:21 No, you're not. I am. We got in a fight in Atlanta and you've hurt my feelings. What was the fight about? It was like a microphone not working in a previous show or something. Exactly. And should have worked. You're right.

Starting point is 01:09:33 Exactly. No, look, like sustain pedals never work at venues. Never once. Not one time. I'm in front of thousands of people and oh shit, the sustain's not working. It's like there's so many things that I coulda, right, but I don't, you know? Get your shit together, man.

Starting point is 01:09:51 It's getting together. It's together. It's been together. We're gonna go to Australia, you're gonna eat at your fucking Michelin restaurants, you're gonna see. Wow. No, that's just me being passionate. Wow, wow, wow.

Starting point is 01:10:03 I know, I know, I know, I know, I get scared. That's me, wow. I know, I know, I know, I know, I just can't. That's just me being passionate. I know, I know, I can't believe it. It didn't sound like passion, dude. It didn't sound like passion. It sounded like deep resentment. Yeah, passionate, do passionate, Fancy. Give me passionate.

Starting point is 01:10:16 I love working with you, Bobby. And we're gonna make an awesome zombie movie together. Oh, no, no, delusional. You know what, bud? I'm gonna do the movie again. Okay. I'll do your zombie movie. Bobby, don delusional. You know what, bud? I'm gonna do the movie again. I'll do your zombie movie. Bobby, don't do that. I know.

Starting point is 01:10:28 I'll do it. But you will. That's passion. Yeah. And McCone, I have a small penis. No you don't. I don't, but that's what you told the world. But it's not true.

Starting point is 01:10:41 And thank you so much for doing that, man. Like I don't have enough problems. The world knows it worked. The world knows it's not thank you so much for doing that man. Like I don't have enough problems The world know it's good, okay, just stop stop. I have a very good penis and then uh, we'll see Thank you for being a bad friend Woo, yeah Woo, yeah Woo, yeah Woo, yeah

Bad Friends - Fireballs Of Hate Flame

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.