Bad Friends - Getting Wet With Chris Distefano

Episode Date: February 14, 2022

New Merch: http://badfriendsmerch.com Thank you to our Sponsors:  https://stitchfix.com/badfriends & https://betterhelp.com/badfriends &  https://upstart.com/badfriends & http://buffy.co code: BADFRIENDS More Chris Distefano Chrissy Chaos: https://www.youtube.com/c/chrisdcomedy Hey Babe: https://www.youtube.com/c/NoPreshNetwork Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chrisdcomedy Twitter: https://twitter.com/chrisdcomedy Tickets and More: https://www.chrisdcomedy.com 0:00 Bobby Update and Tour Dates  3:09 Kyle Dunnigan's Ben Shappiro vs. Joe Biden Debate  7:59 Chris Distefano Is Smarter Than You Think  15:15 Who's Got Covid?  24:39 Shooting Bottoms of Turtle Island in Spain  31:11 Chris' Mushroom Experience   36:06 Getting Wet  44:41 Mean Service at Ed Debevic's and The Wiener's Circle  52:12 10 Places Where You Shouldn't Look People in the Eye  1:00:34 Tim Dillon Sams Naomi Osaka  1:04:31 Does Fancy Look Like a Villain? TigerBelly: https://www.youtube.com/tigerbelly Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bobbyleelive Twitter: https://twitter.com/bobbyleelive Tickets: https://bobbyleelive.com More Andrew Santino Whiskey Ginger: https://www.youtube.com/andrewsantinowhiskeyginger Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino Twitter: https://Twitter.com/cheetosantino Tickets: http://www.andrewsantino.com More Bad Friends iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-friends/id1496265971 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/badfriendspod Twitter: https://twitter.com/badfriends_pod Official Website: http://badfriendspod.com Opening Credits and Branding: https://www.instagram.com/joseph_faria & https://www.instagram.com/jenna_sunday Credit Sequence Music: http://bit.ly/RocomMusic // https://www.instagram.com/rocom Character Design: https://www.instagram.com/jeffreymyles Bad Friends Mosaic Sign: https://www.instagram.com/tedmunzmosaicart Produced by: George Kimmel & Bryce Hallock - 7EQUIS Podcast Producers: Andres Rosende & Pete Forthun This podcast episode was sponsored by Candy Crush Sponsorships: on for this episode Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey, what's up bad friends the Tito Cheeto is here. I just wanted to give you guys a little update about our boy Bob He's getting a little bit of good help. He's feeling good. We're talking every day and We want to thank you for sticking along and being a bad friend with us during a transitional time in our lives and We love you and we miss you and Bob's gonna come back very soon And he's feeling good and he's doing good and I'm out by a lake look at this It's this lake dude But just want to give you guys an update He's working out some stuff, but Bobby's doing good and he sends his love and he misses all of his bad friends

And he will be back soon and thank you for supporting us in the meantime Also, I'm out in upstate New York because I'm on the road come see me and your Santino comm for those tickets And your Santino comm this weekend. I'm in Seattle and Portland and then I do Vegas and then we get into Canada They're gonna let us back in so go to Andrew Santino comm come see me this weekend Seattle and Portland Andrew Santino comm Thank you guys for being a bad friend Anchor if you haven't heard about anchor It's the easiest way to make a podcast. Let me explain. Oh, please. It's free. Awesome. That's cool These are there are creation tools that allow you to record and edit your podcast right from your phone or your computer

You do it from your phone like on the go. Oh my god That's cool the bus or the subway you can do it. That's cool Anchor will distribute your podcast for you so it can be heard on Spotify Apple podcast and many many many many many many many more You can make money from your podcast too No minimum listenership. How about that? You can make money with no minimum listenership It's everything you need to make a podcast all in one place. Where do we have to go Bob? Download the free anchor app or go to anchor.fm to get started T-Pain has a podcast now. Yeah, I know I saw it's actually pop super popular. Isn't it? Should we try to get on it?

Okay, yeah, of course, I would love to I would love to go on T-Pain's pod. What's it called? Um, what's T-Pain's podcast? Nappy boy Nappy boy Nappy boy radio. Are you being serious? Yeah Kid Nappy boy radio with T-Pain, but his his record company is called Nappy boy Nappy boy Okay, I thought if you just throwing that one out there, what am I? What's that guy? That old that old guy? Oh, yeah, yeah, and I got what he was like bunch of Nappy headed hoes That guy was nuts. If you you guys remember that now, let's not go quoting things that got people canceled here Yeah, so you can quote what he said. He's dead now. Don't I think he's dead now? Alright, dude. What a guy

He died from that from saying that yeah, yeah, you can't say that Choc Choc Nappy headed hoes fame. Yes. You know, I can't say it. It's the news article name That's how you're known as the Nappy headed hoes guy. That's he started making merch Nappy headed hoes Just shirts. I saw him today. He would sell a ton of it time. Oh my god Yeah, daily wire would start slinging it Ben Shapiro and the reason that we wear the Nappy headed hoes sweater is because obviously it's promoting what we believe in It's a joke and it's a joke and the Democrats are gonna get it because they don't believe in jokes

All that dude does his dog as fast as he can it's so funny I don't believe in anything he's saying he just keeps rattling it all he says opposite points all the time, too You know like but he just says it's so quick. You're like fuck. Yeah, what's wrong with the right to our premise What have they ever done that's defended you at all and I've of course, of course Of course, I'm Jewish and I'm Jewish and I'm Jewish and that's how I feel and that's how I believe in that I just think of free speech is fine, but but but but but but You know unless it's against my people He always says that I was biological male. I'm born a biological male. So therefore I'm a male

I couldn't be anything else other than a male Even if I change my gender it's not gonna matter Kyle Dunningin's Ben Shapiro I don't know if you've spoken about on the show. I mean, I mean he's he's so literally it's it's um The fact that a guy like a Kyle Dunningin is not I mean, he's a very famous but not like he's not the face of let's say the iconic snl Skept like that is the most that's a will ferrell talent. Yeah, that's not on the show Dunningin's Dunningin's He's what the show is and he's not on it. Well, he's doing in himself better for shripple. It's me jeraco biden I hear you're a very talented trans am

Okay, I'm confused. You called the Ben Shapiro show. I'm Ben Shapiro. I don't know who better for a shrimpo is also I'm not a trans am that's a car. I'm a human man Don't write you're a man who cares that you're born with In congratulations. I just signed a mexican order. So you have not not not sex it in border You can play hockey with the girls now. Okay. I'm sick of explaining this to everyone. I am fully biologically male I was born with one set a reproductive organ and they are fully male. They want you to point out a hockey not interested Look, look, look, I need your vote. I got a big erection coming up against the bad dude Don't duck. It's got no pants, man

If you're referring to the election We just had that you won you won that and to be clear it was not against the cartoon duck Hey, come on. Give me a chance America needs to heal That's why we're here Because blank people are just as bad as white girls Same as trans jengas Absolutely

Stunning it is unbelievable Do you know him personally like have him on the pod and stuff or whatever? No, he's hasn't but he's never came on my show But I know I mean, he's great. I know him. I love him. He's so funny, man. Yeah, I love him. He's a great guy I've never I never you know, I don't love chris fancy b Oh Fancy b we said come back fancy b is sitting in rudy's chair I know we're shooting early in the morning and our good friend christa stephanow is back I feel like we just jumped right through all the hoops, but we're fine

And we've got everybody in the studio Mm-hmm and fancy sitting in rudy's chair and he's far away from the mic just like she does Yeah Fancy said we said on a previous episode that fancy um with sex trafficking geriatric people Yeah, we said we were gone on the other episode because that's what you were up to I thought that was a secret We're just kidding around the way he said it Did you know that we said you got extradited to spain, but now you're back. I'm back. I'm back. How are you feeling fans?

I'm good. I feel a little strange here in that chair. You don't like that chair. No, I like it. It's an expensive chair There's a very expensive chair. Yeah, you better like it. That cost West Elm. Would you guys go east Elm? Far east Elm far east Elm. Yeah, that chair is from right outside of uh, Wuhan there's a factory outside of Wuhan that makes good chairs. You've been over there east Elm. Yeah, he's down Have there been a Wuhan? Uh, no, no, I have it. I haven't been to you No, I've never gotten it. You have had COVID. There's no doubt. No, we said this last time. I don't Yeah, you brought it to me. Well, I didn't Donnie tsunami who's sitting in the back did yeah, that's true. What's the what's the main attraction in Wuhan other than the labs?

You know, it's funny. Oh the yellow crane tower that actually looks awesome. That's I don't appreciate Would you go to the yellow crane tower? Would you go with me? They should change the color. Yes Yellow I'd go to I'd go to Wuhan now. I bet it's as safe as ever What's that lake called they got there? Dong. Whoa, lake First photo of dong lake dong lake. Wow. Nice pretty that is look at that nice dong Nice dong lake. It's got a big dong. Um, you can't even go to china right now. Papa. I can I don't think we can I can Why I know a couple guys you can get into china 100% I go down to the port of Long Beach. I sneak inside one of those crates. I'm in china a day. Do you do?

Yeah, probably. Yeah, you're you're merch. I know longshore. I know longshore. I mean, yeah, my merch comes from jinn I just backtracked where my merch came from. Um, you can't you know people We're doing a lot of comedy shows in china before The weasel hit and and now and now it's no people doing stand-up in china big time Yeah, because there's a lot of it was a lot of americans there xpaps that live there or english-speaking people that live there So you could go out there was a guy who ran a comedy show there You could go an american college. My friend jared free did he said it was awesome. I know him Yeah, jared free did it. He said it was awesome. But now yeah now it's locked down, baby. Wow can't go

I bet you fancy doesn't know what xpats mean. Do you know what it is? Yes, what is it? people who are In china who are from america? Nope. Nope Xpats are just they're not they're all over the world xpats is a is someone who is a resident They they moved out of the country, but they're still patriot Xpats x patriots. Are you a patriot? I will be soon

When is the citizenship test coming? I They said any any time between three months and 12 months, you know, so he's taking his citizenship test And you can have you done questions yet on the show. Oh, yeah 100% Okay, yeah, and you know what he failed almost all of them. You know who else did me and bobby I could I didn't get one right Look, can I can I just see if you because I just want to see I'll look at you because I just I Because you're a history. I'm a history guy

But I want to see if even I can if I if I'm will if I'm if I'm an american citizen. I just read me one I won't look at the answer or maybe I don't look at me. Okay. Don't cheat. Uh, how about this? Well, what is an amendment? What is an amendment? An amendment is a is a ratification to the constitution. That's a change or an addition. So change or an addition I'll give you 50 50 on that. Okay. I tried to be smarter. It's just a change What do we call the first 10 amendments to the constitution the bill of rights? Oh, he's on fire How many how many amendments does the constitution have? Yeah, that you don't know. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on.

27 wow What are the two rights in the in the declaration of independence the two rights? Uh, freedom of speech. Nope. Oh two rights Wait, what are two rights? Two of the three rights of the declaration of independence? Um, um, um, um two rights. Um Right to have slaves They never had to erase that Everyone's like, well, I guess that's gone. Oh, they're like No, no, no, no. Keep it. Yeah, keep it. Oh two rights. Um slavery was on a post at no freedom of the press. Nope Don't covet your neighbor's wife. That's it

If you're gonna covet a covet it all I actually don't know. What are they life puberty and the pursuit of happiness? Ah, got it. Got it. Okay I didn't realize that was the right. All right. One more one more and then one more one more and that's it What stops one branch of government from becoming too powerful? um Checks and balances. It's so funny because the fans think that you're an idiot, but you're not. Yeah. How about this one? Uh, name one name one right only for united states citizens name one person on the right Chris is definitely no

What wait, what was it name one right for only us citizens name one right for only us two of them Yeah, what are the one if you're born in the united states? You're legal red you illegal, uh citizen voting you got a passport voting Voting and what's the other one you can you can you're born here? You can you run for federal office run for federal office. I think someone's gonna get their citizenship Wow, fancy's gonna get it. So you're gonna dual citizenship fans. Yeah Espana yeah, what passport you're gonna put above the other one you're gonna put Spain on top of the united states depending on which country Whose side do you take? In the Espana fight. Are you in Catalonia or the other ones the other ones you're not Catalonia

No, it's Catalonia without hope. He's a fancy fancy be texas, you know, I was gonna say is Catalonia like the alt right of spain No, it's not but they are the separatists. They want to be separate right texas still to this day wants to they every year They try to remove themselves from united states and every year gets shot down doesn't make the news But it's like it's like a thing to like every year They say we want to be separate and every year we're like you can't stupid, but why let them go I think let them live Yeah, I want them live. They want to be their own independent country I think if texas was its own intercountry it'd be like the 10th largest economy in the world

California is the third largest economy in the world in the world. We're the third. China's one, right? Say cal type in california is what we're the sixth. I thought it was the third in the world fifth. There it is. Oh, I did say fifth Oh That's disgusting look at that three trillion bucks, baby. Yeah most half of it's mine Yeah, the fifth largest economy ahead of the united kingdom and just behind germany. Wait a minute So california is bigger than the united kingdom GDP yeah, GDP. Wow But also look at my side. Look at the land mass size. We're probably four united kingdoms. Seriously

Yeah, if you crunched it into if you curled it over if you curled san francisco into san diego It made it a round ball. We'd be bigger than just the biggest spain bigger than a spain. Yeah Yeah, but we've done less damage to the world than those scumbags have. No, but spain was big pieces of shit Um, you know in their time still the invincible armada. They were big pieces They were every the thing is every country has had its day. Okay, the inquisitions Inquisition that's well that I like that because we got rid of the juice I'm just kidding. I was just kidding. Um, we know we know fancy. No, but but see um It's

I wrote this article for the guardians say or chris de stephano says in position wasn't that bad Was it that bad that's the point where we're questioning stuff like yeah, I mean was it that bad What's the big issue really? So what holocaust? What's the cost? Was it that bad? hola you you write it article holocaust co st question mark ha ha h a lla h holocaust holocaust What was it? Um, that's not I mean look you guys were scumbags. They were scum every country every the thing is america right now Yes, I understand people say declining empire and america is so bad We're just having our moment and but then the next country comes up and they'll do the same thing. Yeah, england england was historically the worst country of all time

I mean they killed fucking everybody just a little tiny baby island just killed everybody. They were a little covid ball that was killing everybody And the you know, they just were cute doing it. That's the key. You're cute doing it They had nice little red coats. Well, they're tiny men. They're England are tiny men. They're tiny men and so they feel less threatening Sorry, you know because they can do that and get away with you. Did you oh slavery? Yeah, we did it But you know my bad. Oh, I'm sorry. Unfortunately for you. You have to lose your head It's nuts. Oh, oopsie. Oh, whoopsie doodle my bad

Oh, sorry. Is it your sister? Um, I'm having my way with all right. Yeah, I had to disembowel her It's born like I know sorry. Sorry. Well, the problem is love. You're not white It's not your fault. You've got too much pigmentation. Yeah off. You've off with your head But yeah, but the headings would have been tight to see though. Oh my god, dude Well, here's the thing is is, you know Nobody popped off in medieval times. You know what I mean? There was no there was no twitter. No tiktok There was nobody think how good tiktok would be a medieval god. It would just be whatever the state wants You know, like you just do you cannot I mean the the level of freedom that we have here

I mean literally let I guarantee you if I said if I was president Biden said we're gonna start We're gonna behead a tiktoker. Nobody would ever do anything again. It would just be done. Yeah We have too much freedom everyone. There's no penalty for anything. Yeah, when if there is it's a wag of the finger There's more of a penalty for uh saying something racist online now than doing something actually bad Yeah, baby. Do you see that guy throw a milkshake at that girl that young girl at the What was that? Uh, it was like out of jamba juice or something just to Andrew Santino hit someone with smoothie Look She fucked up my fucking smoothie. Yeah

Yeah, uh-oh jasmine's calling me. Oh, no. Should we pick it up? Yeah answer Oh She sent me a covet test. Is that negative or positive? Here we go I don't know. I can't tell wait. Hold on. Is this one negative? Wait, let me see. Is that negative? She's positive. No, not her. I think it's my kid because that little line to see the blurry line If it's blurry, it's positive. So who's got cove two lines positive one line negative. Yeah, that's positive. That's positive Oh, baby. Wait a minute. Who does I don't know maybe one of my kids lilas. I hope not. Let me call her Let's call and find out who's got who's got covet. Welcome back to who's got covet. Yeah, who is it?

I'll see. Hold on. This is good. You never get it, but you're around it. I'm always around it That's it. Well, maybe he just can't read the test. Yeah. Yeah, I know He's like two lines two lines means good Two red lines. Hey Hey, whose test is that? Oh, so is that positive but how? They just yelled out positive in the in the doctor's office positive. Oh my god. Um Well here, let me go up, but she's okay though, right? She feels fine. What did the doctor say?

What did the doctor say? I Right. All right, you know what so but what are you guys gonna do now? Yeah, no, I'm I'm the podcast so I was just stopped down for a second But I saw that I was like I want to make sure everything is okay. So let me so let I'm dramatic. You just send me positive. I didn't know what it was. I know if it's a pregnancy test or a covet test I think that I've been reading our covet test wrong. I think I've had it multiple times You should have if you would have told me that was a pregnancy test that would have been like I guess we're having another one

As a matter of fact the fact that one of my kids does have cova now is I would demand a paternity test at this point Because I don't believe any of my children can get cove check the blood I you think I have coveted right now. I do feel achy. No, great. I look covety Sorry, Andrew Andrew's like not again All right, let me go. I'll call you in about 45 minutes. All right. Bye Well, that's good But it's fine. You know now I'm nervous now. I'm like kids should wear masks

Well, she's gonna be okay. No, she's been all right. She had a fever last week But we kept giving her covet test, but they were negative But I do think now that in hindsight, maybe I have been reading them wrong the whole time Because I was like positive. I would see positive a big plus. I'd be like that's thumbs up. You don't have it They were like you're positive. You don't have it. Well positive means you don't have it The plus means you don't have it. Yeah, because if you're positive, it's like you're positive. You're good Yeah, and negative means it's negative. It means you have it bad. Right. That's bad Yeah, stay positive. Stay positive be negative be negative. Yeah

Oh, so maybe I because yeah, because when I looked at that result I was like, this is negative, right? And then she's like, that's a positive Yeah, but that line is so faint. That's a faint blue. So that means that it's not really that big of it Low viral load. That's what that means. Low viral load. Yeah. All right. So she's good. She's fine This guy's wife works in a hospital. She knows she's a she's a doctor Epidemiologist. It's the same thing. Epidemiologist is the one you want. She's the one that studies the virus Right. Yeah. She's what does she say low viral load if it's a light blue line? Right a thin blue line Which is what we fucking support over here

A little bit of red sneaking true right over the border as a matter of fact, I like that covet test That's what I want my daughter. She supports a thin dominant red little bit of blue. Yeah So, you know what that she's a DiStefano Why do they make the lead red they make those lines red and then a little bit of blue? Yeah, they want to let you know who you really are Well, they won't let you know that's what that test is for to find out if you're a dem or a rib What's that? Yeah that and it's and it's also, you know, it's red white and blue. She's an american citizen God bless. She was born and raised in this goddamn country. God bless. God bless you. Yeah, his wife

Is a beautiful smart professional and look at this guy. I know Oh, it's unbelievable. Is she from Spain? No, she's american white real american south. She's from south carolina South carolina. Yeah, but if you marry her you can just get the citizenship, right? You don't have to get it on your own He is married. They are married. Oh, but aren't you then automatically a citizen? No, I still have to you still have to apply and do all that stuff But I thought if you married I thought that's why people did that they married Foreigners, you know, like a guy would marry a foreign woman to get the papers Isn't that a thing like you can't get thrown out of the country anymore

Right, they drive. I know You can't after all that geriatric trafficking that he was doing even that they couldn't deport you Well, I'm gonna find a way. No, you get married, but you still I think there's still you still have to uh Yeah, you have to be married for a number of years. Yeah, a number of years you have to apply. It's not as easy as they make it sound It's not like oh, you're in you're done. Got it. But he wants to become a naturalized citizen He better become one of us Okay, a real one a real one. I don't think you can do that. You weren't born here Yeah, you've got to be born into it like a acidic Jew. Let him have it. I could be like Arnold

I could be governor. Yeah, you can be governor now. That'd be nice if you were governor. I know I'd vote for you. I've always I want I want my governor to have bangs And a cool accent. Yeah, you do have a cool accent I think the Spanish accent is very cool and you don't have the lisp. How come you don't have the lisp? I do have it. Oh, yeah, yeah But what when you grow up in espanol, do they ever talk about the lisp and how people will say things about it? Or you just think that that everybody speaks like that, right? You're thinking everybody everybody else speaks wrong Yeah, because by the time you realize that you you're the one that sound like an idiot

You're like, I can't change them now. It's because it's already in your brain. What am I supposed to do? This is who I am This is who I will be Who I will be he doesn't have the s in the front that I'm doing he doesn't this this this thing He does not have yeah, you don't have the because you it's it's usually so clear because you know why he comes from Oh, yeah, the more monies you have the less s you have and if you're poor Then it's big The more broke you are you the bigger the s is do you um um because spain is like the the top

Like they're like, um The big ones like they're like the britain of the latino population like you look down upon all the other ones Like ooh the little roaches cocoracias get out here cocoracias cocoracias like you don't want to go near ecuador You don't want that you No, thank you. No, thank you because you're european So even the type of spanish you speak is that proper like how a british person would be like old turnman proper That's your spanish. That's that's how we sound so somebody from somebody like, uh, you know My girl's family's porto rica and they would be listening to you speak spanish and be like, oh, he sounds very proper with the spanish

Because my you know kids family's like, oh, hey, you know, like they're fucking like they go They call bustle. Wow. Oh, wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. They're like, oh, wow and then uh, I didn't know this but Jasmine she said her mom said, oh the guagua whatever and jasmine said hey like we're out like in what we were like in new york She was like this we're around like a lot of tourists like someone's from spain here They're gonna think you're an idiot and she was like, I don't give a shit. I'll do whatever the fuck. I want to do I'll be me My mom is crazy. I don't give a shit. I gotta be me. She's like let them talk to me. She goes. I don't even know where spain be at

She goes, I don't know david spain Do some magic for me david spain Stitch fix. Hey when it comes to looking good, it's me. I'm the best looking guy on the show Stitch fix has you covered say goodbye to endless browsing a hello to fresh picks curated for your taste and size Here's the deal if you don't know what stitch fix is it's incredible You basically go on the interweb. You tell stitch fix your style the things you're into the things you don't like. All right, and it Personalizes some stuff fit to your taste It sends it to your house and if you like it wear it if you don't send it back and they put a bag in there

So you could send it back. There's no subscription required. They offer free shipping returns and exchanges It's a clothing store built just for you So whether you're looking for a brand that you love or try to new one stitch fix freestyle You can shop over a thousand brands and styles personalized to your size and fit Best part about stitch fix for me is that they sent me a bunch of stuff to my house And uh, I tried it all on in my mirror in my bedroom and I looked very pretty because I like the way my mirror I don't have a fat mirror like they do sometimes at the store get started today By filling out your style quiz at stitch fix dot com slash bad friends. That's stitch fix dot com slash bad friends to try

Stitch fix freestyle stitch fix dot com slash bad friends Better help. Hey, we've talked about better help on the show a lot. We're big proponents of mental health on the show I personally use professional counseling, which this is it's done securely online It's not a crisis line or a self-help line and you can start communicating with someone in under 48 hours I got to tell you the services available for clients worldwide and you can use it anywhere I've used it in my hotel room when I'm on the road. I've used it on a bus when I'm a toren I've also used it in public. I have I've gone on better help when I'm out somewhere Running errands and listen it works

You're gonna get timely and thoughtful responses plus you can schedule weekly or video phone sessions You won't ever have to sit in an uncomfortable waiting room ever again better help is committed to facilitating great therapeutic matches So they made it easy and free to change counselors if need be better help Why don't you start living a happier life today? You can visit their website if you don't uh, if you don't believe it you can visit their website You can see the testimonials at betterhelp.com slash reviews and visit better help dot com slash bad friends It's better help hlp.com slash bad friends join the over 1 million people who have taken charge of the mental health with the help of an experience professional

And uh, this podcast of course is sponsored by better helping bad friends listeners get 10 off your first month at betterhelp.com slash bad friends Yeah, she's like, I don't care. He's our fancy. He's our fancy baby. No, I love Are you guys ever consider doing an episode in spain or going to spain to his hometown? We want to go to spain to shoot a movie We're gonna do it. We're gonna try to we're gonna try our very hardest. I would like to do it I think that's the move now, right? It might as well just try to shoot the movies ourselves I think that's that's the move because what because otherwise we got 10 executive meetings with people who don't really want to do it No, let's just shoot it and then you guys do it and then if there's a par for old crissy banks. I fly over economy middle seat

You're gonna have to get a ticket without a seat. Oh, it's assigned to you at the gate. I stand up. I hold on to the railing. Yeah So please sit down. This is my seat. Yeah, you just have to hang That's probably what it's going to be cut when it's going to come down. I try that twice and the eu shut them down Ryan air did standing standing seats. They wanted to do that. They wanted to do just one pilot to stand in seats Just one pilot is nuts. I mean if you fucking get a heart attack or something Just one pilot's the craziest thing I've ever heard of my life. Why not cheap so cheap like you can fly Yep, but Ryan air. Yeah, but Ryan air the flights are like 20 minutes. Have you done it Ryan air?

Yeah, that's how I flew around. That's how I got around Europe when I was there That's how you get around it's the easy and you said it's like 20 bucks They feel the the tank just enough so they can do emergency landings. So they they got They wow everything is calculated. It's so and but there's people then in Europe that they fly country to country daily like Ryan air Yeah, but it's just yeah Oh, just yeah, it's like yeah, they're all 40 40 minutes flights like if you go to I went England to France or England to Spain It's quick. It's an hour. Wow. Yeah, it's amazing. Wow Europe is a mini little it's like western united states Right, that's how that's how closer like the states in western u.s. Are as big as the countries in western europe

Yeah, yeah, no, I know I I've been except ours touch and not and not all their jazz touches because they got a bunch of water Bunch of water is a bunch of water over there And I but the thing is with Europe they're more cultured and they sound smarter and better and are more You know culture because every the countries they're it's all different cultures and languages here So are we no, but you drive 3 000 miles in any direction that everyone speak in english pretty much Yeah, except if you go down to mexico Or you've been on louisiana the way that The bayou boys man, they sound so different. They sound crazy

Well, they got a little bad. That's all I'm gonna hold about it sounds like that I mean, you're like gay. What? Yeah. Okay. Fuck I'll go where come I love you about that. We live in a boy's bed about your ball. It sounds like that Do they sound like water boy? Remember water boy? Yeah. Yeah, that's what everybody sounds like down there. Do you think they're pro vaccine? They don't even they don't even make it way down there. No, they should I I bet even a minute come a little come down here boy. I don't need none of that boy's a boy. Come on, man I think we're gonna say we don't need a boy And it need to go stand me go be h

Give me the h Got that horse. I've never been in louisiana. It's awesome. Yeah, so dope I mean new orleans at least is where I went and then I went shot guns and saw gators Wow guns and gators. We did a guns and gators day, dude Yeah, and then you know our boat got stuck in the swamp. I'm not kidding. It was so fucking funny We're driving around as january As a buddy's bachelor party we go shoot guns We go take the boat out to go see gators and swamp or drinking beers and the dude that's operating it

Who's just as fucked up as anybody else on it who it's his job to like stay sober and get us back through the marsh and the swamps And he's like, ah, man, this boat's done. This boat be done. I was like the boat's done He's like boat be done. We just put it on a short We just got put up on the shore and he's like we go have to wait till tom someone else come back I was like call someone. He's like, man. Nobody they go We got to wait Shit, we just had to sit there wait till somebody came by at any moment you like a gator can come and chomp our boat in half I would just at some point. I was like, what this what if it gets dark and now it's night now

We're just sitting here all night in the fucking marsh. We just have to hopefully wait for another boat. Oh, no Someone to come by that's what he said. Oh, someone to come by it was like an hour and a half Nobody was even on the water at all and you had no fucking no one had cell signal. We had no cell signal You were in the middle of the water. Yeah, if you would have gotten out and tried to swim to land You're fucked. You would have been killed eaten by a gator immediately. The land is the water It's the marsh so it looks like you could step on ship, but you'll fall right through. It's the swamp Wow. Yeah. Yeah, we just ran out of gas at the at the beginning. We're laughing Yeah

25 minutes in you're kind of chuckling, but it's weird Half an hour. You're like, this is fucking. Yeah an hour. You're like panic Yeah, then an hour and a half you're like, fuck it and we just kept drinking right because then what are you gonna do? I'm I might fall asleep sweep in a swamp sweep in a swamp I might sweep in a swamp and what happened another boat came by and just you got on that boat I came by. Yeah, guy came by then. He was like, oh, I go radio and blah, blah, blah Guy came by we got on that new boat. They left the old boat and then they had to go get someone else to go Toe it out

They just leave it there that captain should have went down with the ship. He's a pussy that captain We just shot a hole in it and he just sinks into the swamp As he's sinking in he just his body starts to eat by now. That's how I chipped my tooth. You see my tooth on the front No Oh, yeah, I do. Ew. I chipped it on a crawfish shell eat on mushroom. I was on mushrooms and we were eating a crawfish boil And then the next morning I went to go get a po-boy sandwich and the guy was like I was playing with my tooth Like this because I had a chip and he goes, what's wrong with your tooth?

And I was like, I I chipped it on a crawfish shell and he goes, oh, that's new orders That's new orders. He was right though, man. I bit right through I chipped my fucking tooth in New Orleans I um, I took mushrooms for the first time ever last week Yeah, did you do it on the pod? I did it on the pod. I did it on the patreon Did you feel did you feel good patreon christie d patreon.com says christie comedy? Um, we did it for the five dollar level and up and I did it with a gianni palo Uh, who's little brother christian. We saw his mom last night. We saw gianni Chris sent a text message to gianni

And said best three sub we've ever had. Yeah, he was pissed gianni was like he goes Haha, and then he sent me a text like an hour lady. It was like you really didn't hook up with my mom, right? It was like, yeah, we did. What do you think he came to LA for? Yeah, dude. Why do you think I have you run on my tiktok? She's tiny. She's a tiny. So is he so all her kids are tiny I say we took your mom to france. She saw the Eiffel tower He's a good dude, yeah After that, we banged your mom. He's a good dude. Great guy. I really appreciate his love and support these last years Um, no, we did mushrooms. He took his shirt off

Um, jacked. He's on testosterone or klebuterol. He's on some type of steroid openly I know it looks great and we took mushrooms and um It really for me was it wasn't like a bug out experience, but I I just feel very settled I feel I've had the least amount of anxiety I've had in years has been this last week How many how much mushrooms did you take? I don't George is not enough because George is a big mushroom head Are you big mushroom guy big time? Uh, yeah, it's but it's kind of hard now that I have a kid Uh, I'll get a day off to do mushrooms. But yeah, look at this guy with a toothpick in his mouth Like he's a mafia member. Who the fuck do you think you are?

Cafe native uh, toothpick no nicotine fool. No, is it really? Yeah a nicotine toothpick. Yes, nicky way to get to give me one of those Wow, that's interesting. Nicky toothpick. No, I want a nicky pick. What what it's just like It's like smoking a stove if they if they call them nickpicks. What are they called if they don't if they don't they're not called nickpicks I'm a problem upset Zippix wow, how come they know to sponsor? Oh, they should be I'll try it. I've never done nicotine. Uh, it smells Wait a minute. You never smoked a cigarette in your life. Oh, maybe once or twice

Really? Yeah, what about a stogie? Almost never. I swear. I barely ever smoke weed. I don't really smoke anything I like I miss smoking weed. I don't do as much anymore. Hey, how much how much nicotine are in these things? Uh, just two mgs. So what would that be like one cigarette? I think less What less than a cigarette? I think less are equal to do you like um, do you like vapes? Have you ever hit a vape? Never hit a vape. Wow. I actually like this. I could get addicted to this It's it because it makes my breath. It's like a breath mint. Yeah, what is the flavoring on this George? What does it say the flavoring is?

This one spice island clove, but they got lots of flavor I was gonna say it does smell like a clove. I was gonna say it feels like I'm chewing on Rudy American spirits are dirt bag cigarettes, right? That's what cool kids smoke because they're like, um, American spirits organic. Yeah, they're like all organic tobacco And it's like fair trade. How stupid are people? They're like, it's organic That the cigarettes are, you know raised, right? Like it's you're smoking a cigarette. Well, they're cage-free cigarettes Okay, free cigarette farm raised. You know what the difference is though I will say if you're gonna smoke you might as well smoke tobacco. That's not in fear

Infused with other shit Right, so it's like like a cigar is just tobacco. Okay. I mean a good cigar is going to be really good high end just tobacco Mm-hmm, right leaves, but then cigarettes you get good tobacco and then they put all sorts of they put ammonia They put piss they put urine in it They put piss in it They put piss in cigarettes politicians. They collect their piss and put in siggy wiggies put in the siggy wiggies Holy shit, you know that they pepsi pepsi flavored by aborted fetuses. Is it really google it? It's like a it's like a real conspiracy Whoa, okay zoom in

the chemical chemical constant Scoot in on that zoom in on that, baby. Up uh nicotine Carbon monoxide Acetone isn't that nail polish remover? Yeah Tulene methylamine methylamine is what Gianni's on to get jacked. That's his standard methylamine methylamine man That's a new character

methylamine man Yeah, just a guy superhero jacked on meth I'll fight crime all days of the night week of the day. Well, I got a name for that guy. He's alive. Who was it? Adolf Hitler Methylene man Methylene man Methylene man He'll build a puzzle then he'll kill an entire race of people. He's building a thousand piece puzzle. Hold on one second

That's insane. How bad cigarettes how much stuff is in there? It's disgusting But but I guess that's the deal right? Isn't that the irish cancer society? It would be us. Yeah. Yeah, here's all this stuff that's inside cigarettes not our cigarettes What what uh, well, what's the difference American spirits are just tobacco, right? No additives. Is that true? Are they just I think hippies smoke them because they think it's like a nicer the brand american spirit is now owned by rj reynolds Ammonia formaldehyde pepper spray ethanol ethyl alcohol lead I suppose alcohol vinyl chlor vinyl chloride That's a band name. I was gonna see

Wait a minute though formaldehyde. That's what they ferment bodies in right? Yeah, dude Ammonia dude. I knew a kid that smoked that wet smoked formaldehyde It's called getting wet. Have you guys ever heard of this? Really? No one's heard of this Type in getting wet. This is this is urban dictionary type in all you white pepsi flavored by board of fetuses I made a couple of pepsis in my day Oh god Ready refreshed by nestly hold on Speaker hello

Yeah, I'm trying to fucking cancel your service for three months Oh, it's a fucking robot. Fuck you I've been trying to cancel ready refreshed by nestly for three fucking months. Imagine if that was a real guy It's your ready refresh here with your and fuck you. He's like gosh Jarnas Everyone thinks I'm a robot. They don't take me serious. Yeah Getting wet came to Jersey man accused of murdering six-year-boy critically-wounding 12 Sister was on combination of pcp in marijuana a drug sometimes called wet at the time of the crime according to local Right. Okay. That's what it is getting wet is pcp in your marijuana. Was that you just ripping a fight?

Oh my god, I didn't even do it into the mic my god. You picked that up on the mic. You guys got good mics Well, those chairs have fart red. We've got fart reverberators, honestly They're plugged right into the mic. No because I didn't I didn't I didn't she even try to get that on the job That's what getting wet is pcp inside a weed, but I thought people dipped from out blunts and formaldehyde I thought that was a thing. It's a training day to Denzel says to Ethan Hawke like oh, that's you getting wet I didn't know you like to get wet. That's exact. Thank you. Thank you. Carlos. See Carlos Training day. He does have shit on one time. I saw Ethan Hawke at the airport, right in New York It's so much the airport and we're on the same flight. I was like, that's weird

And then I came back Like two weeks later from LA and Ethan Hawke was on my flight going back to New York I was like, that's fucking weird. I was like, I was like, what's going on? He was like, we keep seeing each other in the airport. He was like, security He just keeps flying back and forth from New York to LA every single day every day Just so people see him on a flight That's a there was a story about a dad once who um, his daughter was a flight attendant He barely saw her so for like a week. He just took all her flights wherever she goes

He just sat on her flight. I was like, what a stupid thing to lose her dad I was like, let me tell you something. Well, he's trying to make up for all those years I was gonna say that I couldn't make up for the times you used to beat the shit out of her mother in front of her Have you got daddy issues now? I'm on every flight Yeah, and they wrote it up like this whole nice news article like what a good dad I was like, he's making up for scumbag shitties. Yeah, I'd be like, what are you if you're a good president father? It's like, I'm not going in your fucking flights to Detroit with you. I'm exhausted. Just come home. Yeah, come home By the way, I don't know what's going on with flight attendants lately

But the attitude is through the fucking roof. You got it. You got a dude from a flight attendant Lately I'm almost every flight I get on there. It's just just just in a bad mood You know what I've noticed and this I don't whatever wherever the flight attendants Are coming from wherever they're based out of that's what dictates if they're going to enforce the mask rule or not I would when I flew out here from when I flew I flew from New York to Florida They didn't give a shit. I had my mask off the entire flight as soon as I got the first beverage Entire flight. Nobody said anything. They didn't know when we flying from Florida to California. I guess it was the LA base They in between sips they had it had to be on my chin if I if I pulled it on my ear

They she would say it has in between sips are in between sips are I was like, oh my god You know what it's flight? This is a firsthand account about Three four months ago. I forgot where I was flying from. I've never seen this I was flying first class and uh, New York to Boston and um, no, I was flying first class short flight New York to Philly and um And uh, you know, they take your jackets, right? Yeah, take your jackets and in hang them up whatever, you know polite stuff So we're you know landing or whatever

And the woman flight attendant she goes um She goes gives the guy his jacket back, you know, and he goes there's a crease in this like he was being such a dick He was like, there's a crease in this he goes. What the fuck did you do to my jacket? And she was like, sir She was like, uh, you know, I folded it up. She was like, I'm sorry, you know, we're gonna be landing soon You know, if you'd like to make a report or whatever, you know, you know being like so professional and I was like Well, I saw at first. I wasn't listening to the beginning But then I took my headphones out because like this is getting like pretty heated and then The guy goes, I can't believe I fly this yelling all the time

Look, you crease my crease my jacket kept going on and then something snap. This is a firsthand account This was not told to me or someone I witnessed every moment of this. I saw it for I wish I was recording it But I was just so shocked in the moment. Uh, you know, he's still yelling and she goes She finally she goes she goes sure sir. Shut the fuck up She goes sir, shut the fuck up and sit down She goes Shut and then and then the other flight attendant came and like tried to like, you know Like get in was like her and then she's went sat like in her bucket seat because I had the angle

You know, you know, like when you're sitting in first class, she's something you could see I could see her sitting in the bug seat and she's like this fucking scum that like she was Going on and then he walked out like he like, you know Zoom passed her and she ice grilled him the whole way. Like she was not like, I'm sorry Like she didn't come to her senses. Good for her. She was like, you shut the fuck up and stay seated, sir Good for her and I was like that dude Yeah, and it was almost to the point where I swear to God like the people around this We almost like started clapping for the flight because he was being such a dick

Yeah, you know, well, sometimes they are but that's my thing is I'm always so polite and nice But sometimes you catch an attitude from them. Yeah, like I was nice on the flight to to um, um, St. Louis and um, uh, American has stopped doing like certain food services now You know, because of all this bullshit, but the woman I know she gets a coffee Yeah, and then I politely said Is there a meal service on this flight because I didn't know if there was I'm genuinely asking She goes, I'll get it to you after I serve everyone a drink And I was like, no, I just I was just asking I didn't know if there was one

She goes, yes, there is after I can I do all the drinks and I was like Okay, yeah, you fucking bitch Yeah, I was being so nice. Yeah, I think the thing is like they've dealt with so much bullshit That's not like it used to be years ago. No, they were all in such a good mood I know because their money was probably better their hours weren't as insane now They're overworked and underpaid. So they're like, fuck you. Here's your jacket. You fucking piece of idiot That's what the head should have you know ed to bevix. Do you know what that is? No, it was a restaurant in Chicago where they were mean to you bring up ed to bevix

The part of the service was they were an asshole to you. That's fun. That's fun. They go. Here's your steak fat ass and they walk away My dad used to be like you should get a job at the bevix should be perfect for it But that's the deal. You're supposed to be a bully a lot of like second city people and stuff like that work their improv kids Why does it close it down? I guess you can in this climate, right? It's kind of hard. You can throw a couple racial slurs you get Upstart. Hey, a lot of us have credit card debt. Uh, I had at one point almost 60 000 dollars in credit card debt It can feel you're in a never-ending cycle of debt with no one in sight

Upstart can help you make that final payment so you can get ahead a lot of you have credit card debt and look in the new year Let's start off fresh Let's start off right upstart is the fastest and easy way to pay off your debt with a personal loan all Done on the interwebs whether it's paying off credit cards consolidating high interest debt or funding personal expenses Over a million people have used upstart to get one fixed monthly payment with a clear payoff date And rather than just looking at a credit score alone Upstart is going to consider other factors like your income your current employment and your credit history to find you a Smarter rate for your loan and you can get your rate checked out without impacting your credit score in minutes for loans between

1000 and 50 000 dollars and if that worked for me I only would have had 10 000 dollars left to to deal with but I it wasn't around when I had my debt You can even receive funds as fast as one business day after come after they accept your loan Find out how upstart can lower your monthly payments today when you go to upstart.com slash bad friends That's upstart.com slash bad friends. Don't forget to use our url to let them know We sent you loan amounts are going to be determined based on your credit income And certain other information providing your loan application upstart.com slash bad friends Buffy. Hey, we've talked about buffy so much on this show

It's the one thing that bobby always says that uh, I did write for bobby. I've did a lot right for bobby but um, this is incredible. Buffy is uh This cloud comforter. It's covered in super soft eucalyptus fabric filled with fluffy fiber made from 100% Recycled bottles. All right, so we can't complain anymore Greta Thunberg We're putting those bottles in the ocean to use. We're making it buffy Buffy created the best comforter you've ever slept with this comforter has over 18 000 five-star reviews customers agree It's the softest fluffyest comforter they've ever tried and I will agree look I get sweaty at night because uh, right now I'm fat daddy and I'm sweating out of my pores

I got meat sweats and beer sweats pouring out of my neck and buffy keeps you at the perfect temperature So you feel cozy without overheating. I do love it so much. I have it on the beds plural Yeah, I have a couple of beds in my house and I got them on all of them The cloud comforter is covered in ultra breathable eucalyptus fabric. It's softer than cotton It's sustainable uses 10 times less water than cotton to grow machine washable and come on dude You want to be comfy and not overheat at night? Huh? Buffy is the way the average down comforter has harms 12 geese Huh, but buffy's comforter is cruelty free doesn't harm no geese harmed. That's what it should say on there

No geese armed you can try a comforter in your own bed for free if you don't love it return it at no cost Come on. What are you doing? What do you have to lose? Do yourself a big favor try it out. You don't like it send it back You won't no way tweet it us if you don't like it because I won't believe you anyway. I'll block you For $20 off your buffy comforter visit buffy.co and enter bad friends that buffy.co for $20 off and enter the code bad friends Now they still might be open. I have no idea. Are they still there? Does it say yeah, they're still open. Oh at the bevix. Let's go. Now. They're gonna be pc when they're mean to you Yeah, here's your steak you cis white male and everyone's

Bang bang. I bet you voted democrat Yeah, they used to be they used to be uh mean to you. What is this? Oh see you money? So you can figure out how to leave me a decent tip. Okay, because right now I have no prayer at all You know what grandpa? That's nice to you. I get canned. Okay. If you want good service you go somewhere else I know Hooters is probably more yours. This is how unfortunate this is this made the news at back in 2015 because people are like Oh a mean server. They've been doing this for like 50 fucking years are dumb. They've been doing this for so long But now people are like Huh, how could you say that? That's crazy. It's on the it's on the internet

Can you believe she would say that dude? They've been doing that for and they used to be mean to you And I mean don't they do that the wiener circle too in chicago aren't they mean to you or is that just not even in act? That's not an act. That's like they work at the dmv You know you bring a video of the wiener circle I went there when when I shot my special on the head the the This is these three beautiful large black women and they say well because look they deal with little college kids all the time Up there, right? So drunk ass college kids They started lighting them up and that's kind of part of the culture over there

What you want? You little small dick piece of shit. You're like hot dog. She's like shut the fuck up And you get your hot. It's a good hot dog. Shut up tyler. Shut up Cassidy Joe bitches Little vaccinated bitch. Joe vaccinated bitches. Come on. The bean. This motherfucker got boost. You know, he got two boosters. This motherfucker Yeah, no, they do they light you up at the wiener circle, but that's again That's that's not that wasn't the history of the restaurant. Yeah, that's as the bevics. His whole joke was That's like dick dick's last resort. Don't they do that at that restaurant?

But that's more of like a chain of it like they beat they just they light you up at dick's last resort And they write like they give you like big po-pats and they write like you're a piece of shit on it They should do that. I think they should have a dick's last flight dick's last flight and do an airline dick's dick's airline Oh, they just dude. Yeah, I'm like, uh, whatever. I'm like a pothole. What? Um Jet if you fly jet blue jet blue is the only one giving like full service meals like it was in 2019 Everybody else I was I flew delta out here and the lady sitting Dude, the lady sitting next to me in delta shoes. This was pretty funny, too

The flight attendant was nice about it But the woman goes she goes, um, you know, whatever says the choices of the breakfast and she goes Do you have anything with green like I'm looking for something with green and the flight attendant was like all our food is in a box You want a salad bitch wait till you land. Yeah, it's all all our food is in a box Um, and then when I was flying from New York to Tampa here, I sat next to a pilot You know like sometimes pilots. Yeah, and I sweat dude. I swear to god We're like an hour and a half into the flight and he he's like looking out the window And like I saw him like looking and he goes this plane don't sound good and I was like

Really like he was like, I think it's gonna be fine But it they need to it don't sound good and I was like, well, I swear to god And I was like really and then I asked him it was kind of struck up a little conversation for literally two minutes But I asked him ice because this was the flight to Tampa. Nobody was wearing a mask I said, do you guys wear masks in the cockpit? He goes, I never wore a mask once in the cockpit Yeah, why would he do it just him and one of the guy. Yeah, they take it right off immediately Well, here's the here's the irony about the massing and I don't get too deep into that because who cares But yeah, it's weird that they're like you wear a mask when you're sitting still just breathing usually out your nose

You know, yeah, which is like, I mean, you know, how much so now but when you're eating you're like There's all this shit getting into the air so fucking it's the weirdest time to like take off your mask while you're eating you're like Burping and yeah, it's spitting food out of your mouth But they're like no no no It should be when you're sitting still breathing out of your donny was telling me a story I don't even remember this like a few months ago when they did the mass mandate southwest pilots were like Yeah, we're just not gonna fly the flights and then southwest had to reverse their mask mandate because the pilots were like Yeah, we're just not doing it because we're all hicks. Well, yeah, but I mean southwest

You know southwest dude southwest honestly, man the bus in the sky every time I flown southwest It's a great experience the Wi-Fi's fantastic. I get mad leg room. Uh-huh everything's good Always good with southwest spirit islands. It's fucking piece of shit. I never fly. I've never flown it once Never fly spirit. We should do that's what we should do fly spirit and die. Yeah, that that's that's that's all I get the boost off Let me fly spirit no mask. I gotta if the spherical overseas they don't fly Oh, they'll never make it. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. They run out of gas. Oh, dude. They'll never make it The spherical overseas spirit airlines 47 domestic and 28 international destinations in 18 countries Hey, let's go to aruba

Colombia Costa Rica Dominican Republic Ecuador El Salvador Guatemala They go to all that they all go to all his countries any central of South America airlines that whenever you go to lax And you go past the terminal you can tell that they make them bring their own tape in case something falls apart That's like, you know, you know, I was watching the thing you ever seen like airline disasters or some shit You know that show like worse. Oh, yeah, I was watching once about like Korean air and like in Korea You cannot if you are, you know, the the whatever assistant pilot. What are they called? What's the name pilot? If you're the co-pilot, you cannot you cannot ever direct your superior ever And so what do you mean? Like if you make some mistake, you can't so that

You know that everybody died on this flight because the you know, they had like the, you know, uh, black box court of this guy The the the uh pilot was flying directly into a fucking mountain and all the co-pilot had to do was, you know, You know, excuse me. Yeah I think are you at this at a mountain? That's all he had to do Mountain mountain just one word. He was afraid to say it but he says over the black box He goes whatever he was like, uh, he was like the you know, the pilot is is going to fly into a mountain He goes so sick. I want you to tell my wife because I love it. Oh my god. That was the only thing they had

That's how they do and they like they weren't laughing about our airlines. There's like unfortunately in their culture I was like, what the fuck? What do you mean? You can't even you can't even make a suggestion So he just the guy the pilot was just driving like skies look great And then he just flew right into a and the other copilot was like, that's a mound Fuji And then that was his last one because just tell my wife and kids I love them because the pilot just flew right was his Malcolm Gladwell's cop cockpit culture theory and the asianic crash That's what oh, so okay. So there you go Malcolm Gladwell. That's what a good lady Malcolm Gladwell is and the stories from one of his books So what did you say the story of the Korean air? Oh, is it is in one of his books? Okay?

Yeah, I'm sorry. I don't read Like they made all Korean pilots learn English so that they wouldn't have like because the language is so hierarchical in Korea What do you mean like the pilots had to learn English to communicate in English to each other Wow, the hierarchy of the Korean language wouldn't allow them to like talk to their superiors But English is just you you you he doesn't know what hierarchy means you got that that's a that's a problem. Yeah patriarchy Yeah, there's only one. Yeah, there's only one archie over here, baby. Hey, I'm archie bunker Yeah, no they had to learn English so they because they had an ability to speak to each other at a similar It's crazy, dude. If you look at like other cultures like, you know, if I was you know meeting, you know, my girls

father Um, uh, you know in America, you have to look them in their eye or it's disrespectful in Asian culture You look them in their eyes disrespectful So it's like you don't know if you if you meet your if you're if you had a Korean wife and you looked our father in the eye He'd be like get this guy's a fucking piece. Where are you supposed to look in their chest? I don't think you're supposed to keep your head down. It's like a culture thing You have to keep your head down. Where are you? You can't look at these guys in the eye that's very disrespectful in the Asian culture

See Americans if you shake someone's hand, you don't look them in the eye. It's a fuck you that's like that's like that's like Man, I fuck you. That's what that is. You don't you don't look them in the eyeball. That's nuts 10 places where eye contact is not recommended Yeah, do not in the bedroom China not recommended. Yeah. Well, I'll look them all in the face and say you did this to me Yeah, also trying to be a Muslim not recommended in China. Look at in China People make eye contact when they're angry. It's meant to challenge. You know, the person has a sign of disrespect. Yeah, see it's a it's a depicting Japan not recommended. Iran sometimes sometimes depends if you're looking at, you know, Saddam Hussein or somebody look them in the eyes Eye contact is an accompaniment to many conversations when the participants are friends or family

Strangers, you don't look in a fucking eye. However, eye contact is never appropriate for the opposite gender You don't look abroad in the eyeballs. You look at it tits. My eyes are right here. Yeah That's Saudi Arabia. Is that what that said? Where was that? Where that that was Iran? That was Iran Iran. Yeah, Iran not Iran Iran they correct you all the time here in LA because everybody here all these they're all from fucking Iran And Iran is right. Where are you ran? Iran is all they'll make you because here in LA. We have a lot of Iranians And they'll tell you Iran not Iran Iran. I just go old school. I just say Persia for persia. Yeah

Yeah, they all say persians, you know that they call themselves persian Yeah, because you know why they say that why well because because the connotation of Iran because of what happened with the fucking the war people don't people like oh, you're from Iraq like Iran like same same to me Yeah Vietnam not recommended. Well, I'm not looking at her teeth. Where else am I gonna look? Who is that starfros? Jesus Christ Uh in Vietnam Eye contact is a way of showing interest in the opposite gender, right? Yeah, that's everywhere around the whole Vietnamese war Somebody just looked somebody in the eye

Why is this the photo? Cambodia not recommended to look down on the child. It's about to give you a blow job What is that photo? Why do they have these weird fucking photos on this website? Yeah, what the hell is she's got beautiful eyes This kid stop it. Oh Indonesia sometimes go down Kenya sometimes hong kong not But america's the worst place shiner south korea not recommended south korea south korea was I thought so Bobby in the eye don't look him in the eye. I look him in the eye all the time. That's why he's that's why he's not here

Thailand it says so some eye contact not too much US eye contact welcome United, okay, of course. Yeah, but that's one of those things I guess um It is interesting meeting like your girlfriend's father because you get like you get so in your head like my girl's dad He died. Um, but he was a big like Puerto Rican man But humongous donald trump supporter like huge trump guy. I had no idea aren't all Puerto Ricans aren't big Isn't it depends like yeah, you know it some are some this guy was huge huge trump guy and he died like right after

The election I just met jasmine, you know, I barely knew him I met him like, you know, my daughter delilah was like three months old and so but he you know He wasn't coming around that much, but then he started coming around so I got to know him and I didn't know his political Uh, you know, I didn't know who he was affiliated with but when the the night after the election He came over for dinner and I thought because Puerto Rico got a Puerto Rican kid. This is all new to me I went on like, you know, I was like, you know, what a disservice to this country like all that stuff Like I was like, I was like, I can't believe I think it's gonna be okay It was like being the father of a you know, let's Latinx child

Like I was trying to be like all you know, like just try to hide the fact that you know, I voted for the guy but I was just I had no idea I was like, you know, Latinx Kyle and this is horrible and I'm gonna do everything I can as a white man to make this better for my child and your Child and all this stuff and like I swear to God He was just like just looking at me and goes you done and I go yeah And then I swear to God out of his he had you know, he had walks around He was walking around like a plastic bag

He pulled out a make America great again had on and he put it down. He goes I voted for him I would have voted for him twice and then and then I was like, oh boy And then and then he died right like a month later. That's why you died by the way That's why he died. He was like, I'm not he was like, I can't believe my son married my daughter married a gay guy So so he goes so he passes away right and then you know, obviously Jasmine's very upset with son and he had a heart attack so I go to the funeral home in Brooklyn and uh, uh, you know, she can't even talk Jasmine She's like distraught so we sitting there and going over the funeral arrangements and she said she was like, please just like

Can you handle this? I was like, yeah, whatever. So we're talking and then he got the guy The funeral director Italian guy goes, uh, he goes, uh, what was what was his political? affiliation And Jasmine's like, I don't know why that's important. He goes, no, no, I don't want to be disrespectful. I just you know What was his political affiliation, you know to me and I go is it okay? And she goes whatever I go. He was you know, he voted for Donald Trump and he goes I swear to god, he starts clapping and he goes give him the good casket. No, and then he goes and he goes He goes listen to me. He goes that man voted for Trump and uh, we said, yeah, he goes. I'm gonna get the uh

You know the army the coast guard, uh, you know, the what do you call that the changing of the guard? He goes, I'm gonna get them to come they're gonna play a thing on the flute for him taps Yeah, he goes he goes we're gonna get a full military burial for him full military burial He's like that's on me on this funeral. He goes and um He goes I want to get him a wreath and I want to do something I want to do something nice for you guys. He goes because you know what he goes I had a funeral in here the other day, right? He goes these people are going on and on and on He goes about hillary this hillary that and I said to them he goes I said to them

He goes I said, you know, I'm listening to him. He goes you got to be respectful You know people you know people died and you know people get upset. He goes I said to him He goes, uh, he goes, you know, I'm talking to the guy. He goes this fucking guy He goes, honestly, I don't even know what you ended his fucking guy was he goes. I'm talking to this guy He goes He goes he goes I asked him and it's crazy that he's even saying this to us while she's crying And then even saying this to him Well, his they just lost a loved one and he's getting into this and he goes um, he goes he goes I said to the guy

I go um I go uh, I go Be honest with me What's one fucking mistake trumps made so far in three months. Just tell me one mistake Tell me one fucking thing he did wrong. We're proof. He goes none of this C&M bullshit. He goes. We're proof Tell me one mistake this guy's made. He goes and I'm gonna give you the funeral for free Okay, I'm gonna give you the funeral for free if you come in here tomorrow and show me we're proof one mistake That donald trumps made he goes. Guess what they fade they paid full price

They paid full price Of course they did full price because you can't prove it bro. He came in. I swear I have pictures I don't know if I put it on my instagram. I think jasmine asked me to take it. This was it was five years ago Anyway, six years ago. He came in with the wreath, dude It was it was bigger than this plant like like I've never seen it was like it looked like a ferris wheel And it said make america great again, right? I swear to god the family was coming in like jasmine's sister is like very liberal. She was like, what the fuck Who paid for this? She was like, is this one of your jokes like they were yelling me. I was like, he did it

He had a cappuccino machine downstairs in the basement He was like he was like come on. He says to me goes come on have a cappuccino and I and I go I go I should say is come on. He goes. It's not your real family. Come on It's not like your dad died come on He goes I go through this shit every day. You don't really care and I was like, you're right I was like this funeral director what he was fucking amazing And then he's like I had to come to see one of your skits Then he was telling me wild shit about like how robert deniro's wanted by the fucking mafia and he can't come down the street

He goes if he died he goes if deniro died, I wouldn't bury him. I wouldn't bury him. Why because he said he he said that I Don't know if this is true, but he said that Would finance would finance some of his movies from the mafia like back in the 90s or 80s Whatever would you know some of the studios wouldn't give him the money so he would finance it through the mafia I believe that and he never paid the juice back on it He just would take the money and never pay the juice or they wanted royalties and all this shit because you know It's not you don't sign a fucking contract with the mafia. You sit in an office

You got listen this movie makes this much you give me the money you shake your hand. That's a guy wouldn't do it You gotta pay the juice you gotta pay the juice robert deniro and it got fired. He's incredible. What is that? What is that pick go back? Why is that a picture of tim dillon and and uh, Naomi? Podcast of tim dillon slams Naomi. Oh, you've never seen this is great vanity lace rant When was that from? Um, august. Yeah, what was he yelling about he goes that bitch Naomi Osaka who didn't want to do the interview Shut the fuck up Do the fucking interview dumb bitch

But but the thing is he gets written up and these are you know He does so many bits where like he's like I'm having an interview or you ever seen the one like with the Beijing game with the opening of the olympic games like they wrote him up like like they people think that it's real They don't understand. It's not none of it is real that the weirdest thing is that they'll literally write comedian Blah blah blah blah blah and you're like take the first word. Yeah, anything else is probably bullshit Yeah, it's probably just us fucking around making a joke. That's so weird that they still do shit like that though. Yeah Timmy is the best. I mean, I love the dad. Yeah, he called last time We were on this we called into he called my phone and we put him on the show last time

He is the best but you know, it's so funny that that is what's bothering me the most about like Us doing this show Us when bob's here or you know, whatever we're fucking around and then if anybody takes any of that to any sort of level of like They must be being dead serious. You're like this whole thing is for fun. It's for fun. It's for fun It's for fucking fun. But the beautiful thing is your fans know that that's why that's a great I know but that's where the yahoo news takes the time out of their fucking day to write about a comedian joking around It shows they don't have anything else got nothing going on to talk about You know why because when trump is gone when trump was in man

They had so much fucking material and now they're just like we got to find something to talk about That guy was a bevy of material You know news sources were they had a bearishment of riches They could say anything every single day and because you never really knew what trump stood for because in the in a one minute rant He's he literally contradicts So many wild things that you're like, all right, you know what I give up I don't even know what he said. We'll just wait till what he says tomorrow. He's a gaze a repulsive also pro gay marriage And you're like, wait a minute. What? Yeah, it goes. I was second cock last night

I shouldn't be allowed in this country anymore. Yeah, who Mexicans gays gay Mexicans gay Mexicans It is funny how many times he would go back on something he would say. Yeah, you could that's why I think they never really got him pinned down Yeah, you just kept flip-flopping. That's all you have to do. Yeah, just keep flip-flopping and they'll never they'll never be able to Track you down. I think that's a honestly an amazing strategy flip flop. Yeah. Well, it's gotta wait He got away with it for a long time speaking of what you do know Carlos, you know Carlos Carlos Carlos was a diehard trump supporter Really diehard diehard. Yeah, he got attacked in the streets for wanting to make america great again hat. Yeah, my dad was pissed Because a lot of mexicans

Mexican like trump though, right a lot of mexicans like Trump. He was gonna help build the wall this kid He was gonna do it. My dad works down there by the wall by the wall. Yeah, his dad works by the wall Yeah, well because he was that's the thing with trump is like. Yes. He was saying Okay, I'm gonna build the wall, you know and that everyone but what they don't say is is he said he was gonna build the wall To keep the Mexicans out, but he was gonna make it with glory holes so the gays have fun That's right. So he was like, I was gonna put glory holes in the world out there. You get your cock sucked We keep up the bad guys. You're still gonna blowy. Yeah, that's what it is Everyone's stressed out

Yeah, Carlos's dad was a coyote who would sneak immigrants into the country but also worked for border patrol So it was a double he was a double agent I want to thank fancy b by the way, I didn't give enough credit fancy b sitting in for rudy He had to do less work today than he's ever had to do ever have to do in his life, but he does But you know what? He's a vital part of this. He's a vital organ in this whole thing and I do think he's losing his job To Carlos. I'm not gonna lie Well, Carlos has taken over. Well, you have a job on the east coast if you'd like one Okay, as long as you have a valid you can't steal my that's our only pre-wreck is he has to have a passport

Does he have a fucking wikipedia page now? Oh my god Look at fancy dude. Go back. Does he have a wikipedia page? It looks like a villain. Oh as imdb. You do look like a villain How do we get a wikipedia page made for him? What is that picture right there? You look like you were on that true tv show with the magicians that were there with the ones who were the practical jokers What was it called? What is that film? What is that shot? What was that show? Yeah, that's crazy. Did you take that in spain? nice Look at that one that one that one. Oh my god, so embarrassing I'm bad friends court. That was great

Fancy be everybody. I want to thank Chrissy D. Thank you Chrissy chaos go to patreon.com slash Christy comedy Watch Chrissy chaos Watch what? Um, hey, babe. I was gonna say watch. Hey, babe and christy comedy comm ticky wikis I got the Chrissy theater tour everybody the cte tour go see the cte tour this guy's got brain damage And he's bringing it to a city near you if he makes it or he figures out what town he's in Yeah, Detroit Cleveland, Washington, DC hockey

Atlanta Atlanta go to christy comedy.com to go see this guy live. It's beautiful. Thank you so much amazing Um, go ahead and look at your single go ahead. You'll look at your camera and say, thank you for being a bad friend Take us out, baby. Okay. Let's go Brandon. Thank you for being a bad friend