Bad Friends - Happy Stardew Birthday, Bobby

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Starting point is 00:00:17 See the app for details. Hey! Hey, my friends on tour don't miss out. Yes. We're gonna be in Boston, Massachusetts, Washington, Massachusetts, Washington, DC, October 21st. Denver, Colorado, October 28th. Then we go to the Midwest.

Starting point is 00:00:32 We go to Milwaukee, Wisconsin, November 24th, and Chicago, Illinois, November 25th, right after Thanksgiving. Minneapolis, Minnesota, November 30th. Yeah, that's where you're from, baby. And then we finish it out in Madison, Wisconsin, December 1st. You got to come see us.

Starting point is 00:00:45 Go to badfriendspod.com for tickets. Badfriendspod.com also a little hint for the inside fans. We might be adding a ton of dates come in the new year. Oh, we are. We might be going international. My friends. Oh, yeah. Go to badfriendspod.com for tickets.

Starting point is 00:01:00 Badfriendspod.com. Hey, bad friends. Hey, bad friends. Go ahead. We don't have a Patreon. We got a Patreon. Hey, bad friends, go ahead. We don't have a Patreon. We got a Patreon. I know, and I'll tell you why we have a Patreon.

Starting point is 00:01:09 Why, why? People are like, oh, what do you guys have a Patreon? Let me tell you something, because we're putting out more content on there. We have behind the scene stuff from On the Road in which Little McConey put together. Also, we have not really a bonus episode, but it's another extra little thing

Starting point is 00:01:23 that we put on there. There's fun stuff we put on there for you guys to enjoy. If you don't want to join, that's fine. Just still remain a fan and the episodes will come out every single Monday. But if you really love us, you can join and you'll get the episode on Friday, add free. You can have fun with us and we're putting up more stuff as we go. It's being added as we go and edited. So the Patreon will be there.

Starting point is 00:01:44 Go to patreon.com slash bad friends. Bad friends, right? Is that it? Patreon.com's bad friends. Patreon, patreon.com slash bad friends to sign up today. The link is in the description below. You two are bad friends. You are these two idiots. Woo. My dude.

Starting point is 00:02:00 An Asian dude. You two are disgusting. Woo. I'll use you to something. The bad friends. And you're an agent, you two are disgusting. Woo! Oh, you two are something. We're bad friends. Are we ready to get started? Is your mic broken?

Starting point is 00:02:11 I don't like the way it is. What, you crank it up this way. See how I hit? It won't work. Oh, there we go. Oh, there we go. Of course it will. It cranks up.

Starting point is 00:02:18 A little blu-chee. Should we a little blu-chee in the microphone? Should we start the right way? They're really hard to blow. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. I got to tell you that looked like that did look like KKK for some reason. Yeah, yeah. What is that? What's KKK in Korean?

Starting point is 00:03:00 Oh, it means white power. It's the same thing. It means with us. I know. We're not so different. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, welcome back Jetski you see Johnson is back on the show and it's my birdtap episode. It's a Birthday I realize it a realize happy birthday. Thank you. Thank you. I like that. I'm two years old. Look at you. Fifty two. And who playing Starfield? Plus video games all day long.

Starting point is 00:03:25 No life. You lose it. You look so Korean. You look so Korean, right? I do. Yeah. Oh, do it my birthday. Hold it, Money.

Starting point is 00:03:33 So explain to all the viewers that are watching right now. We're wearing Stardew Valley costumes for your birthday. I don't know why I stopped playing it. Who am I? You're Harvey in the game. You're the town doctor. Harvey Weinstein, the town doctor. The town doctor, and he likes,

Starting point is 00:03:46 come to my room, I'll take care of it for ya. Yeah. And then your, your Emily, she's got a lesbian, she works at the bar. She's a lesbian that works at the bar. Yeah, yeah. Oh, art imitating life. And I'm Sebastian, the email guy that lives up North.

Starting point is 00:04:01 Hell yeah. Where do you like Portland? Where do you live, dog? I was just up north in the mountain, man. Oh yeah. What's up? Where do you like Portland? Where do you live? I would just up north in the mountain, man. Hell sick. And then Abigail's not here yet, but um, so can I just say what's not happening yesterday? What happened?

Starting point is 00:04:14 You know, so you know, I had Robert Kennedy Jr. on and I wrote one joke and I wasn't able to tell the joke because I got scared. Tell the joke. Well, you know, I, because I go, well, because his wife was on it too. Yeah. Cheryl Heinz. Tell the joke. Well, you know, I, because I go, well, because his wife was on it too. Yeah. Cheryl Heinz. Cheryl Heinz. So they're on it,

Starting point is 00:04:28 and I, and I, so I do the setup. I go, Hey, do you guys fart on each other? I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I Yeah, yeah, and then they, it was almost as if like, what the fuck, they never been asked that. You didn't do any other Kennedy stuff, did you? No, I had a bunch of stuff written, but after this, so what I was gonna say is, if they said we fart on each other,

Starting point is 00:04:55 they go, does your fart sound different like your voice? Ooh. That would have been a good joke. I feel like that would have been received by you. I know, but because I set up the fart thing and they didn't respond to that I couldn't do the fucking what did your farts sound like your voice. I get it. Yeah, I get you had to bail I bailed you were really nervous. Oh, I was pacing back up work because I've never had like a politician and stuff He's not really a politician is he?

Starting point is 00:05:21 Was he not in the Congress or I thought he was a YouTube guy? Is he? Was he not in the Congress or what? I thought he was a YouTube guy. And how about F. Kennedy Jr.? I'm also a huge fan of Cheryl too. She's the shit. She's the shit. So, what a power couple, huh?

Starting point is 00:05:36 Politics and Hollywood, the ultimate cabal. Yeah. How much baby blood do they have at their house, huh? Oh, so much. So much. Good babies too. They have Obama baby blood. Obama baby blood do they have at their house? Huh? Oh so much baby. So much. Good babies too. We have Obama baby blood. Obama baby blood. I'm a bubble blue.

Starting point is 00:05:48 Obama Obama Obama baby blood. Obama Obama Obama baby blood. Oh! What time is it? What time is it? She's late and she knows it. Yeah, yeah. 605.

Starting point is 00:05:59 And you're running late, but you showed up. Let's give it up for the Rudy Jewels put on that wig. Put it on the wig. And there's a choker too. Yeah yeah Carlos for some reasons really pushing the choker Uh-huh, all right if the village people were stand-up comics. Let's go through that photo down that that one and let's see who yeah, so Craig Robinson no Yeah, yeah, Craig Robinson top left top way wait. Let me Chris Spencer Chris Spencer. Yeah, yeah in the middle of the indie Charlie Finn Not Charlie Charlie. Oh Charlie. He'll Charlie. He'll Charlie. He'll Charlie. He'll who's on the far right?

Starting point is 00:06:30 Shane Gillis Shane Gillis and then who's the bottom right? That's another there's three blacks. That's Tony Tony Angel Cliff. Well, that's a black guy. Yeah, and the far left is it's got to be me. I got to be the band. You're not in it. Oh fuck Hey, to tell you you're not in it. Oh the guy Hey, to tell you, you're not in it. Oh, the guy, the far left is Jesus Trejo. There he is. Yeah, they should remake it. Look at the Rudy Jewels back in acting. Yeah, one last thing I think about the village people though. And I don't even know. Excuse me for even asking this question. I really don't know. Okay. Are they all gay? No. None of them know. Only one of them is gay. Be real. How many are there? Let's guess. Okay, out of the six, let's just, before we go. Before you Google that, the obvious answer is all of them.

Starting point is 00:07:10 No! Can you imagine being the one not gay guy in the village people? They're out having fun every night after show. Yeah, and he's going back to the hotel room. Just to read a book. Yeah, he's just, he's bummed. Imagine that one of them is really religious. He just goes and reads a Bible in the room

Starting point is 00:07:24 while these guys are having fucking proper orgies. Right. By the way, if they were still around, they were still around. Are they still, they're not dead? Are they touring, I mean? If they're touring, Carlos should go to a show. Oh, that'd be so much.

Starting point is 00:07:37 So you'd find all that you're looking for. Everything you're looking for is there. Are the village people still touring? Glen Hughes, the biker, despite the stereotypical connotations that surround his character, is is straight there you go. Here we are. Wait a minute.

Starting point is 00:07:50 Here we are. Randy Jones Cowboys openly gay Felipe Rose the Indian is openly gay Victor Willis the cop is sexuality is unknown. Let me just throw my hat in the back. No you can't point if you're thinking. Glen Hughes the biker isn't gay. He's not gay. The one that we thought was riddled with it. Yeah the one that Glenn Hughes, the biker isn't gay. He's not gay. The one that we thought were was riddled with AIDS.

Starting point is 00:08:07 Yeah, the one that we thought of the most. Yeah, I mean, it has no AIDS. Well, you don't know that. Oh, that's true. I don't know his extracurricular activities. You know, by the way, these guys, imagine after a show, the amount of dick that these guys get. And then Glenn Hughes has to sit there and pretend,

Starting point is 00:08:20 look at, I'm Glenn Hughes, you guys are the village people. This is the after party. Yeah, yeah. Ready? Hey, Glenn. Yeah, yeah, ready Hey Glenn. Hey, what's up? You have fun? Yeah, oh Such a good you your ass was jigging. Oh cut it out your ass was jiggly jiggly jiggly jiggly jiggly jiggly up there Please cut it out. No, anyway, um, hey do the thing you did on the improv Jiggly thing you did I The show's over.

Starting point is 00:08:45 We're pasted out and do it. The show's over. We're pasted out and do it. Shoe's over, please. Come on. Guys, please stop making me do this. I don't wanna do this anymore. Anyway, I'm a man of the Lord.

Starting point is 00:08:54 Hey, you want some of those popsicle? Is it a popper popsicle? No, it's my tick. Oh, that is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's never a stick at the end of these things. I know. It'd be such a bummer to be backstabbed.

Starting point is 00:09:05 The amount of dick they would get would be absurd. And then this guy would have to chill. That's not true. What if they're all in relationships? Okay. No, I'm being real. Now you're making an assumption. Okay.

Starting point is 00:09:16 I'm sorry. Anderson just making an assumption that these guys are like still single. Yeah. Based on some of the more popular ideologies of touring gay superstars, Liberacci, committed relationship. Maybe. Okay. Elton John was committed.

Starting point is 00:09:33 No. Yeah, he was not. I hung out with Elton John. Oh, you fucked him. Not even, you know what, a girl doesn't kiss and tell. Yeah. Rudy Jewels welcomed to the party. Hello.

Starting point is 00:09:44 Yeah. Why do you think we're doing this episode today? Because it's your birthday and you didn't say shit yet. Because I'm waiting for you to be finished. Yeah, she's doing the polite thing now. Oh, that's so nice. Um, sing happy birthday right now in in Tagalog or in your light, whatever it is. We just say we just sing it. No, sing it. I want you to hear it in a different language. You're late. So you have to sing to him. With lang.

Starting point is 00:10:07 With lang. That's it. That's how cool it is. That's it. That's how fast it is. What a great song. It's so quick, but to the point. If you slow it down.

Starting point is 00:10:15 If you translate, happy. Happy, yes. They don't say that often out there. You never hear with lang. Go ahead. Did they sing in the Philippines? Did they sing the Christmas songs as well Besides there's like English and there's Tagalog. I know, but they're you celebrate Christmas there

Starting point is 00:10:30 Yeah, can I say something? What look at me right now Santa doesn't go there Santa's gonna go to that no chance Yeah, he does oh really. Yeah, it's the happiest there Every you think you every Christmas and there's always Imagine what Santa has to do. As Santa has to go to all the states, all the cities in America, all of Europe. You think he goes to America first? No, definitely.

Starting point is 00:10:54 LA first. Yeah, LA, New York. LA, New York. I'll go Atlanta. He's done. He's in London. It's five in the five three in the morning. He's not coming right? Alph calls them.

Starting point is 00:11:04 Hey, hey, you forgot, you hate boss. It's a Filipino elf. No, I don't know. Hey, boss, you forgot, you forgot. You forgot the dirt that keeps, yeah, you forgot the go to the Philippines. Oh no. Yeah, what is he gonna do?

Starting point is 00:11:17 Baal. Baal. Yeah, he's gonna Baal. I'm not gonna get across the Pacific. I'm gonna have a little island, what the fuck? And then what does it give you guys pineapples and coconuts? What the fuck? You guys pick those.

Starting point is 00:11:29 Pick them. Sing it right now, I wanna hear it. You don't even know the words. Maligayang Kara one. Go ahead. Go ahead. I don't care. What is, yeah.

Starting point is 00:11:38 Maligayang Kara one. Maligayang Kara one. Maligayang Kara one. Maligayangka. Marigayangka. Marigayangka. Marigayangka. Marigayangka. Marigayangka. Marigayangka. Now how often do you sing happy birthday to someone you love in the Philippines? Did they never sing?

Starting point is 00:11:53 We sing, we sing, but it's in English. Oh, you're stealing our culture again. Cultural appropriation. Do you guys steal 4th of July? You can't. You can't. You got to win that. You got to win that, man.

Starting point is 00:12:05 Undo, fiend it. Undo, fiend it. You guys have black history month? No, we don't. Fuck you, you should have one. Yeah, you really should. Yeah, how many black people are in the Philippines? 16, I think, last time we go.

Starting point is 00:12:16 Yeah, yeah. Wait, do you guys have gay pride month or any of that stuff? I think so, yeah. You think so? You would know. You would know. Yeah. Look at this Metro Manila Pride. Pride, Safe Spaces, and Lab Lab.

Starting point is 00:12:29 What's a Lab Lab? It's when you get tested, tested. Oh, that's what it is. Lab Lab Lab. Tested, testers. I have no idea. Da yo, a yola lang. Ola lang.

Starting point is 00:12:39 So that's the Metro, oh there is. A Manila Metro Pride 2024. Gay out.com. Why is that been clicked a bunch by you, Carlos? So, oh, oh, little bit of those stop, stop. Are those your gay men? Yeah. God, look at how handsome all he clicked.

Starting point is 00:12:53 There's so good. Wow. Let me see, let me see, let me see a photo. That looks exactly like here. Okay. And then let me ask, cute. Yeah, cute. They're all gonna be cute.

Starting point is 00:13:04 Filipinos are all cute. What's the wonder what he does for a living? Let's take. Cute. Yeah, cute. They're all gonna be cute. Filipinos are all cute. What's the wonder what he does for a living? Let's take a guess. Okay. Um, he scrapes. He's a scraper. He scrapes something. I definitely see scraper.

Starting point is 00:13:14 Yeah. Yeah. He scrapes some sort of dried. Something that's there for a few days. Like a dentist? On the wall. On the wall? On a wall.

Starting point is 00:13:24 On a wall. Hi up. Hi up in a wall. He's got to have a ladder to get up there. Oh, I see what he does. I don't know how that's. I know what he does. I know what he does. Well, I got carpenter.

Starting point is 00:13:32 No, not like a carpenter. No, you know, what? Let me see something. A carpenter. A carpenter. Yeah. Like Jesus. What is this?

Starting point is 00:13:40 Yeah. Oh, no, no, no, he doesn't. Carpenters always scrape wall today. No, I don't know. Yeah, what does a carpenter do? The, they build and they make houses. You know how there's some like podcasts that are like for science and arts and all that stuff. And you know why we're so big in the comedy world?

Starting point is 00:13:58 Why? There is nothing smart to be gained on this show. We don't know anything. It's really pathetic. Not even our help doesn't know anything. I know. They know less than most. I'm the help. Yeah, you're the help.

Starting point is 00:14:10 I didn't say it. But I'm, what do you think you are? I'm the sidekick. I don't think so. You know what, you're not the help, because you don't never help. Yeah. That's true, you're not the help.

Starting point is 00:14:21 Is sidekick a Asian thing when, you know what I'm saying? Like you're my sidekick, is that? Am I your sidekick? Yeah, you're my sidekick. I'm your co-host. Wait, wait, wait, stop, stop, stop, stop. This is my birthday and stop. All right, let's get to the root of this.

Starting point is 00:14:35 You're my sidekick. No, no, no, no, stop, stop, stop, stop. And I'm your co-host. So am I your side? Yeah. Welcome back to the show. I'm your sidekick and I'm your co-host. Yeah, I'm, so I'm your, um, Ed McMahon.

Starting point is 00:14:48 You're my sidekick. This is your show and I'm the sidekick. No, no, no, you're misinterpreting. Okay, go ahead. You're my sidekick. I can't be your sidekick. Why? Because you're my little, you're my little sweet little guy.

Starting point is 00:14:59 You're my big little guy. But you're my noodle boy. You're my fucking, um, your, your, roast beef man. That's where I'm your roast beef man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can say that I'm your right hand, I'm your left hand roast beef. Now you're my side side. No, I'm not your sidekick. I'm not. Because of the size. Listen to sidekick. He wants to be main course. Yeah, sidekick.

Starting point is 00:15:15 Oh, what do you? Yeah, gunfire gunfire. I go. Yeah, I'm your left shot. I'm Kato. Yeah, is that what you're you're referring to Kato now you're picking up on I'm putting down a psychic's fine. You're you're my if I'm K. Oh, yeah, you're okay. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, and then I'm a Tonto. That's right. Am I Tonto and I'm John Wayne? Yeah, be strong when he's racist. He's not racist Prove that he's racist. He played Genghis Khan in a movie Pretty well acting acting acting acting. Acting. Acting. Acting. Acting. Acting.

Starting point is 00:15:47 Acting. Acting. Acting. Acting. Acting. Acting. Acting. Acting. Acting.

Starting point is 00:15:55 Acting. Acting. Acting. Acting. Acting. Acting. Acting. Acting. Acting.

Starting point is 00:16:03 Acting. Acting. Acting. Acting. Acting. Acting. Acting. Acting. Acting. Acting. Acting. I mean, said, all right, you go ahead. What? Zoom in, the University of Southern California is School of Cinematic Arts will remove it exhibit dedicated John Wayne as the actors past bigoted remarks have come under increased scrutiny. Systemic racism, let's see what he said. What did he say? I believe in white supremacy

Starting point is 00:16:16 until the blacks are educated to a point of responsibility, the actor said. I don't believe in giving authority and positions of leadership and judgment to irresponsible people. That's literally, wait, wait, Zoom in. I can't, I feel like you're improvising. Zoom in, because I can't believe in giving authority and positions of leadership and judgment to irresponsible people. That's literally, wait wait, zoom in. I can't, I feel like you're improvising. Zoom in because I can't read it. Let me read it. I can't fucking believe this is. I believe in white supremacy that alone take the statue down.

Starting point is 00:16:37 This is not a contest. Oh yeah. It's not a contest. I can't believe it. I believe in white supremacy until the blacks are educated to a point of responsibility. You know, I don't even know what he's talking about. Maybe he's not talking about people. He might be talking about like colors of cake, like Mike and Iks, like candy. Oh, like licorice. Exactly.

Starting point is 00:16:56 Black licorice. Oh. I don't believe in giving authority in positions of leadership and judgment to irresponsible people. Interesting. Interesting. Interesting.

Starting point is 00:17:04 Interesting. Interesting. Interesting. Interesting. By the way, he said that in a 1971 interview in Playboy, that accredited piece of journalism. I'm actually saying what did he say? You know what he said that? A fucking weirdo. You know how sometimes like actors,

Starting point is 00:17:19 what do they speak at a graduation, at a college graduation? Yeah, when they do the commencement. What? You did at Brown University. I mentioned it right. Brown University, commencement. You go do it.

Starting point is 00:17:32 We're black people, go ahead. Say it again. It's great to be here, pilgrims. Yeah, go back to the speech. Go back to the speech. I gotta tell ya. Wait, all right. Let me say something.

Starting point is 00:17:42 All right, hold on. I believe in you. I believe in you. Yeah, we screwed it is. Yeah, let me say something I have a little bit of Let me just read it is yeah, let me you're doing Clint Eastwood by the way Oh, I thought it was the same guy. No, it's not you're domain is kind of Clint Eastwoody. Yeah, similar. Yeah, howdy partner Out I'm John Wayne John Wayne. Howdy partner John Wayne kind of talked like this this town ain't big enough for the both of us This town ain't big enough for the both of us. This town ain't big enough for two of us, black guy. Hey, 2022 graduates from Brown University, you guys ready for a commencement speaker?

Starting point is 00:18:13 Woo! Yay! Oh, so we're huge fans, guys. Of this guy, he's the lead in so many good Western movies. He also played Genghis Khan in a movie called The Conqueror. So give her a round of applause for John Wayne, everybody! Well, hey there, pilgrims. I believe in white supremacy until the blacks are educated enough to a point of responsibility. Nobody? I don't believe in giving authority in positions leadership

Starting point is 00:18:46 and judgment to air a responsible people. Anyway, I'll take the job. That's my time. Thank you, John. Thank you, John. Give him a round of applause. Oh my God, imagine. So they pulled down a statue of him.

Starting point is 00:18:55 Is that what it was at USC? Yeah. I'd exhibit. Well, that's what you get. Well, they're not going to read. He's still, his name is still in the fucking airport in Orange County. He's a little John Wayne airport in Orange County.

Starting point is 00:19:06 Yeah. I mean, what, what, why don't we take away from him? From John Wayne? Yeah. I mean, he's gone. He's dead. What do you mean he is dead?

Starting point is 00:19:14 But we take, do we take out, give him, I mean, why doesn't, we can't, we're, That's an even better question. What, yeah, why doesn't matter anymore? We do know who he is? No. So John Wayne,

Starting point is 00:19:24 so you know who can or leave this. Yes. That's his father. Yes. Yes. That was his dad. John Wayne was counter. Reeves is John Wayne's third son. Yeah. You know, who is the other one? John Wayne is John's middle name. His last name is Reeves. So his name is John Wayne Reeves. And, and, and, and, and you're not going to believe this. Yeah. But the original Superman Christopher Reeves, John Wayne's other son. And he was on a rhino.

Starting point is 00:19:52 Many years ago he was on a rhino. Rhino backed, you know, I mean, through the forest. Rhino flipped and Christopher Reeves, his neck broke. I thought it was a horse. Yeah, they call it a horse, but it's a rhino. Yeah, it was a rhino. Yeah, and the modern day we would call it a horse because we didn't know what it was back then.

Starting point is 00:20:10 Back then we didn't know. Yeah, now. Just thought it was a gray fat horse. A big fat horse. Do that horse has been eaten way too much today. Way too much. Don't dare dare. Dude, I love DoorDash so much.

Starting point is 00:20:21 It's genuinely the only one I use, and I gotta tell you why. If you're missing anything, you can DoorDash it. If, look, I want to go get a little bit. I got cat food the other day, dude. I got a Zintin. I want to go get myself a little Zintin. What's a Zintin? A little lip pillow.

Starting point is 00:20:33 That's great, dude. I want to get a little lip pillow. I didn't want to go to 7-Eleven. You want glue? I love glue. You play with a lot of glue. Yeah, yeah, sunflower seeds. I love all that stuff.

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Starting point is 00:23:55 So the Reeves, let's go back to the Reeves. Let's go back to the Reeves. This is John Wayne Reeves. John Wayne Reeves. At two kids, Christopher Reeves, and he also had piano Reeves, the youngest. And yeah, so do you know who, they're superstars now?

Starting point is 00:24:10 superstars now. But why is the father important? He was the star of many leading Western films. You know, he was basically Brad Pitt back then. He was. Was he handsome? Let's put up a picture. Well, back in the day, he was considered handsome, I think.

Starting point is 00:24:25 Well, let's see if she likes him. There he is. There's an image of this guy. Now, keep in mind, he was six foot three big guy. Yeah, leathery skin. He looked exactly like Trump. He was same height and weight. Look at him. What do you think? No. You don't like that. You don't like that.

Starting point is 00:24:42 Too much of a white guy? Yeah. Too much of a bad boy. Look at him now. Now, do you like him? Look at him on that rhino. Look at that brown. He's not brown right now. Look at him on that brown rhino right there. No. You still don't think he's handsome now?

Starting point is 00:24:52 What is it? He's got a little gut then. He's starting to get in a gut. This was great about this guy. You could be a star of fucking film and be fat. He was fucking fat. Wait, Google John Wayne as Genghis Khan, please. I want to show you. He played Genghis Khan. You know Genghis Khan is, right? No. Genghis Khan was like this. Genghis Khan, please. I want to show you, he played Genghis Khan, right? No.

Starting point is 00:25:05 Genghis Khan was like this. Genghis Khan, one of the greatest, look at that. You played an Asian guy in a movie. Oh, oh. But tell me who was gonna play it better than that. I mean, that looks really good. Speaking of Asian stuff, dude, I got acupuncture yesterday. It worked, isn't it?

Starting point is 00:25:21 I love acupuncture. Did it work? A little bit, but you know, he, because I have the herniation in my back, so my back and my butt and my leg is all messed up. So he tapped a lot of the acupunctures in my butt, and it was wild. Your butt, your butt kind of convulses when it, and it says, oh, it's grabbing the needle. And it grabs it and pulls it in more. So it got deeper into my butt cheeks cheeks and then they put on the infrared. You've done it before, right? No.

Starting point is 00:25:47 You've never done acupuncture? Wow, it's incredible. And then they put on these heat lamps over you. So it's supposed to extract all of them. I'm normal. Huh? I'm like a normal guy. This came from you guys.

Starting point is 00:25:57 I know, but I don't, my body doesn't need fixing. I, you're on it or I'm gonna have to disagree politely. Yeah, yeah. Why don't have like, your body's had too much fixants. That's the problem. Oh, you think so or I'm gonna have to disagree politely. Yeah, yeah. Why don't have like, your body's had too much fixants. That's the problem. Oh, you think so? Too many fixants.

Starting point is 00:26:09 Oh, too much fat. Well, fixants, fixants is usually side courses. There's a main course and some fixants. Right, okay, anyway. Like when we go out to eat and you go, I'll take a steak and I'll also take everything off the sides menu. You do, you go, you go, Mac and she, come on, Carlos,

Starting point is 00:26:22 give me a fucking. Do I do that? Yeah, and it's awesome. It is rad. Thank you. I love it Yeah, and we're about to go back on a door do it again. This poor girl has to clean out my fridge right or every week God bless and I eat it. I was gonna say I bet you have some great finds That's the scrape that's the scraper we were talking about like what do you find it? What do you find that you need you keep ordering? Dinti fun and you don't eat it and it's so good. I love dinti fong. Yeah. It's so good.

Starting point is 00:26:46 You know what it is? Yeah. What do you mean? The soup dumplings and all that stuff. So good. They're everywhere, dude. Everybody has a dinti fong. Everyone has one. They're also such a rip off.

Starting point is 00:26:55 It's like six dumplings for like 30 bucks. You're like what? Yeah, it's, but it's not like. We went there, I think, at the restaurant. Yeah, it's not like Mr. Chow's. Oh my god. What a, have you? I haven't been to Mr. Chow's in a long time. 25 years ago, Mr. Chow in Hollywood. I remember being the restaurant. Yeah, it's not like Mr. Chow's, oh my God. What a, have you? I haven't been to Mr. Chow's in a long time.

Starting point is 00:27:05 25 years ago, Mr. Chow in Hollywood, I remember being an assistant. Mr. Chow was the spot for famous people to go to, but the food is medium at best. Yeah, so I have a photo with them on Instagram. Mr. Chow. Mr. Chow, right? Well, the reason why is because it was at the store

Starting point is 00:27:22 and he comes, I get off stage, he goes, hey buddy, let me let me talk to you right and he pulls me out and he goes I'm Mr. Child. Whoa where I go I don't know what like I didn't know what it was. I go okay cool he's like come to my wedding. Why wouldn't you go to that guy's wedding? I didn't know who he was until later I was like oh he owns that restaurant. Always say yes when a little Asian guy offers you a wedding. I've always said yes. A little Asian guy comes up to me and goes, Hey, buddy, come to the Bahamas with me. I've been to 16 weddings of people I don't know. I just little Asian people they ask me and I go.

Starting point is 00:27:55 And two of them turned out to be famous. Ronnie Chang did know who he was. Invited me went to his wedding had a great time. What do you think the second one was? Well, I know it wasn't Ken because I was at the wedding. You were Steven Yen. Never met them before went to their wedding. Oh, you would just to your nians what I had no idea.

Starting point is 00:28:16 Sure did. As I had you got beef. That's definitely how I got beef. Can you imagine me? Oh, wait, let me ask you. You know, I had to read three times for beef. Yeah, I posted a picture of it on my Instagram. How many times did you read?

Starting point is 00:28:29 For beef? Yeah. Zero, right? No, I think I read. What? Zero, yeah. No, that's not true. I read over the phone twice.

Starting point is 00:28:41 We had to do over the phone. You read over the phone? Well, we had to do phone chemistry. Zoom chemistry tests. Oh, I zoom test. I see, I see. We had to do over the phone. You read over the phone. Well, we had to do phone chemistry. Zoom chemistry tests. We were doing test. Oh, I do. I see, I see. We didn't do in person.

Starting point is 00:28:49 Okay. So I did it over Zoom. And you weren't available. And Mr. Rehab. Mr. Rehab here. Mr. Rehab. Tell us what's going on in your world, Jetsky. Now that you're living alone, you're free.

Starting point is 00:29:02 We're back from tour, although we're going back in literally a week. Um, headlining. I've been going around. I just got back from Austin. I went to my high school reunion an Arizona not too long ago. Everyone thinks I'm famous. You are famous. You want to talk about the high school reunion. Did you Shake it at some of the boys that rejected you back in the day? Oh, no, no, no. Oh, okay. There wasn't. You're are you tan? Mm-hmm. I've been going outside. She's been leaving the house Are you trying to look a particular way for the male? No, I don't know you could slow down John Wayne

Starting point is 00:29:39 Man, I don't like it when you get to tan pilgrim pilgrim Well, I went Phoenix and then Austin for like two weeks and that was just it was so hot out there It was just that and are you still, are you showing cleavage? If I knew it would have this effect on you, I would have seen it inside. Wow, wow, wow. Holy moly. My. You did a great thank you for supporting us in Austin. That was amazing.

Starting point is 00:29:58 I had one night off of no shows and Bobby was like come by, do Tiger Belly, I popped in there. Yeah, I know it was a good as bad prince, but the crowd was electric. It was like, come by, do Tiger Belly, I popped in there. Yeah, I know it was a, not good as bad friends, but the crowd was electric. It was electric, yeah. It was good. So you did, and you did Joe Rogan's club? Yeah, I did his club.

Starting point is 00:30:13 I headline my own show, Sold it Out, Sunset Strip, a lot of backgrounds there. It was really exciting. On the show. The mother ship was awesome. It's like a parallel universe to the comedy store. It feels similar. No, because I haven't been there.

Starting point is 00:30:23 Tell me about it. A lot of the same people that you recognize from the store work there. So it feels like you're in a, you know what, you know what, it's like it's like, it feels like you're, you okay? No, I can't do it. I can't do it.

Starting point is 00:30:37 I don't have to the wig. That's okay, buddy. My head's so itchy. Yeah. It feels like you're at a subsidiary of the comedy store. It has the same kind of like classic comics, comic run the show vibe. Oh, I see. It's run by comedy. I feel at home there, is what you're at a subsidiary of the comedy store. It has the same kind of like classic comics, comic, run the show vibe. Oh, I see.

Starting point is 00:30:46 It's run by a comedy store. I feel at home there, is what you're saying. 100 without a doubt. I'm going back in October. Oh, well, you're moving down there. I heard you're moving in with Shane Gillis. Yeah, he's got it right of his New York apartment. We're going to just like,

Starting point is 00:30:58 do they have just like nights you can just call in for spots? Or is that what the deal is there? Yeah, anytime you want to go, they would love to see you. I know, but do I call, what do I do? I call Adam and go, hey, can I? You just text or call Adam. But on the weekends, they have headliner shows, right? Yeah, but people drop in all the time.

Starting point is 00:31:13 But that's also in the fat man. The little boy has a bunch of different shows going on. That's his secondary. There's only two rooms. Yeah, they're both great. Oh great. They would freak out to see you. Bobby was like, they don't know

Starting point is 00:31:22 if he wants to see me there. No, they would love to see you there. All the door guys Such big such big fans. I went on that it's six shows. I mean, there's so many comedy fans. It's it's pretty incredible Yeah, that's great. It's pretty incredible great You okay? Yeah, she looks at what's the matter you look miserable and bored No, I just feel like pooping, but I don't think I'm gonna Do you have to poop? There's a bathroom. No, I don't like pooping in public.

Starting point is 00:31:46 Speaking of which, did you see this Delta flight that had to get grounded? Because the diuretic? Oh, yeah! Somebody had diuretic on a Delta flight. So bad, they had to bring it down, right? Delta flight disrupted by passenger with diuretic. Somebody was spraying shit in the middle of the aisle

Starting point is 00:32:00 on a Delta flight. I swear to God. Can he just go to the bathroom? Or the seat belt light was on. I think he couldn't hold it. Look at this, look at this, look at this. Can you just go to the bathroom? What is the seatbelt light was on? I think you couldn't hold it. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this all over the middle. Oh my God. Imagine he was wearing pants or I think he just pulled him down because you I think he was spraying shot.

Starting point is 00:32:15 I think you couldn't hold it in. What if you go in your pants if you couldn't hold it? No, I'd go right in the aisle like that. Well, yeah, the way these prices of these flights now are so absurd. The least you can do is let me shit on the floor What someone someone what and Andrew Just stop for seconds. I we really should come I know I know here's a deal. Yeah, you're right He was attempting to do a joke

Starting point is 00:32:35 From a dumb and dumb or reference. Oh, he didn't land well. I didn't like it It didn't make me just do dumb and dumb are on sosbh. I said something with me And so I think that there needs to be a boycott I agree So the boy cut is this that was your last straw friend. That's it you and I will never do his stupid show again Correct, well, we already did it once unfortunately. We gave him a favor never again If that might took Carlos's side. I want that facing Carlos from now on Carlos. Yeah, yeah face you there We go. I can't have this guy just yab-yabbing into the mic about Nothing because Anna was gonna do gold. Yeah, I could feel it as I build enough as his sidekick

Starting point is 00:33:12 As a psychic. Yeah, I yeah, I was feeling gold coming on and then you my friend you fucking put a fucking damn in the middle Well, let's give you another chance to do this bad joke. What is it? Go ahead. Yeah, so you say what you were gonna say. No, no, no, I want to hear him do it. No, but he had to interrupt you that the timing is impeccable. Don't worry. He'll interrupt me like he always does. So yeah, it was a delta flight.

Starting point is 00:33:34 Someone did a dumb and dumber thing there. Now, I know you're editing this, but I want you to solely punch in on yourself. Slowly zoom in on how dumb you look right now. Yeah. Thank you. She, this is, he thought, he's my perfect opportunity to do that. Why is this Interim monologue, Korean?

Starting point is 00:33:59 I don't know. Yes. This is my perfect opportunity to do my Dhamma Dhamma. You only get one shot. You get one shot Here it goes. Here's my timing someone did that damage dammit You can't try to throw joke when you barely speak. I know it just didn't come out good not at all Yeah, all right So you went your high school reunion though. I do want to know about this. You showed up

Starting point is 00:34:20 Yeah, did they did everyone was everyone excited to see you? Yeah, and I was excited to see everybody It was a celebration of my teacher who started the sketch comedy group when we're in high school Oh, that's cool. Kind of just let us do whatever we wanted and it was fun. I had a lot of memories come back. We used to like Say crazy shit like we'd play this game with you. Okay We used to like joke around like we were gonna kill ourselves because we knew our teacher would have to file a bunch of paperwork. This is funny. So good.

Starting point is 00:34:48 I love when people threaten to kill themselves. Yeah, love that. To me, great a comedy. But I talked to him about it and he's like, yeah, the kids are still doing that. So that like continued tension. So kids are still pretending to kill themselves. Yeah, I don't feel like, hey, Navarro,

Starting point is 00:34:59 I'm gonna go kill myself. What? And like laugh because a teacher, if they hear that, they have to file a bunch of paperwork. Well, wait, the teacher came to your reunion. Yeah. So it wasn't like a typical high school reunion. It was a celebration for this teacher who started this. Mr. Nervar. Yes. Simon Nervar. So it was in the sanctioned reunion. Right. It was at the school. That was it. It was at the school. How many people showed up? Look at this. 100. I went in my mom's high school yearbook

Starting point is 00:35:25 when I was at home this past week. Yeah. Look at me. That's you. That's me. Oh. That's me. And that's my boy, Dave Walton,

Starting point is 00:35:33 Mr. Buns, Mr. Buns, Chilling at North State. You were a cool kid, huh? Uh, yeah. I was cool enough. I mean, I had a vibe there. You're a really cool kid there. How do I look?

Starting point is 00:35:44 Do I look like I have a vibe? You look cute. You look cute there, then. Yeah. And like family problems. Yeah, I have cool enough. I mean, I had a vibe there. You're a really cool kid there. How do I look? Do I look like I have a vibe? You look cute. You look cute there, dude. Yeah, absolutely. And like family problems. Yeah, I had family problems. Yeah, that's a kid with family problems. Yeah, it's so cool and distant.

Starting point is 00:35:52 By the way, I like it says you will usually see them chillin, me and Dave Walton chillin at North Stadium. Diverse friends? Support it. Well, yeah, bro. Come on. What's up? Come on, baby. But I've chill, look at it. It says chillin' to the state of supporting their teammates.

Starting point is 00:36:02 This means that we weren't playing that day. Uh, we were benching here. It looks like I can't tell, but at this, it says, chillin' to the sea of supporting their teammates. This means that we weren't playing that day. We were benching here. It looks like, I can't tell, but it looks like you're muscular maybe. I was, I've always been pretty good in shape. What, what year do you guys think this is? This is 19. No, I mean, what grade am I in?

Starting point is 00:36:18 70. No, this is, you're in. Off more. You're a freshman. Freshman, sophomore, what do you think? I'll say junior. Just for the sake of it. Yeah, I was a junior. That's my junior year Oh, cool and I went back in the book and I looked in the back. Have you fucked that? Have I fucked him? No, I mean, have you could you fuck before that? I had just fucked right before I actually like moments before this That's why you're from Dave. He was there

Starting point is 00:36:43 Yeah, he's playing it. He's putting it. He's putting it on. Yeah, that's great. I think I think I had just had sex that year right before them. But man, the amount of gel in that hair was something else. Yeah, that's all geled out, baby. Was that the Roman? Where they got the Roman look, right? Yeah, little Roman. This is dude. This is the late 90s, my dog. All right. And your friend, how come you've never introduced me to your friend, Bones? He passed away. So thanks. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:37:08 Lucky. No, really did he die? Oh, man. It's my birthday, man. Let me have that one. I fucked up. How about this? Yo, what's up, Bones?

Starting point is 00:37:24 Yo, rest in peace, Bones. My boy buns my boy, you're like an urban medium right now It's good for you right happy birthday, bro. Yeah, good Andrew make he was your home No, he's alive and well, okay good. Yeah, I'd love to meet him. He's the fucking what is it? Where does he live Atlanta Georgia? How come did he come to our show? No, he doesn't like Koreans. Oh shit. He's not a big number. Why didn't he come really?

Starting point is 00:37:51 No, not a big fan of Koreans from a neighborhood. Fucking real. Yeah. Do you know anything about blacks and Koreans? No, you mean we get along? What the fucking talking about? Stole their art. Who stole what art?

Starting point is 00:38:03 Korean stole. He break dancing. Oh wow, okay. Hip hop stuff. That's true BTS stole it. I don't know, he didn't know, he didn't come to the show. But you still talked to him? No, we haven't communicated in a long time.

Starting point is 00:38:15 Why? I wish we did. I don't know, you kind of grew, you just grew apart from everybody. So we're, I wish we did, I loved him. I was standing on where my friends came, but I hadn't seen them in 30 years. I know. None of those guys. And this guy and I were very, very close. I mean him Diego when my friends came, but I hadn't seen them in 30 years. I know.

Starting point is 00:38:25 None of those guys. And this guy and I were very, very close. We, I mean him, me and his kid Brandon, and a bunch of guys from the basketball team, but it was wild. When you grow up, you grow out and just keep going. And it's tough. That's why the high school reunion thing,

Starting point is 00:38:36 I never went back to those things because I felt like I talked to the people that I kind of still knew. And I just never have gone back. But think about this. I never would get this. That means 30 never have gone back. But think about this. I never would have asked. That means 30 years from now, we could be like that. You're 80 and you're gonna show a photo of me

Starting point is 00:38:52 with a little Asian half of the face in the photo. Yeah. And someone's gonna go, you're new podcast guy. By the way, in 30 years I'll be 70. I'm 40. Okay. And in 30 years you'll be... Cryogenically frozen. You will be. I mean, you'll be... Cryogenically frozen.

Starting point is 00:39:06 You will be dead. I'm what? You'll be cryogenically frozen. You honestly think you'll be dead? Mmm. Yeah. So by the time I'm 80, you think I'm dead. Pretty close.

Starting point is 00:39:16 Yeah, but I could still be here. You could be of this birth. Let's just go back to the scenario. Thanks. But in it, in three years, you might be like, oh yeah, it was a guy who's thinking out with me. No, we'll talk to you. You and I will talk to each other till we die.

Starting point is 00:39:28 So you and Dave didn't have that, what you and I have. Well, I knew Dave for a short period of time, right? I knew him for a couple of years in high school. Oh, that's true. I know you very well for a long time. Very long time, that's true. And by the way, do I love Dave? I miss Dave.

Starting point is 00:39:41 I miss Dave. But you? Love. You're something else. I suck your dick. It's your birthday. I love a happy birthday, I mean. Should we you? Love. You're something else. I suck your dick. It's your birthday. I love a happy birthday, I mean. Should we 69 on the line?

Starting point is 00:39:49 I'm not free of birthday. I'm not 69 you. But I read some of the comments in the back of this book. The stuff that we said. Insane. I couldn't even take a picture and put it on the screen. Why? Oh, I'm telling you, we've been...

Starting point is 00:39:59 Obserged shit. Like, just fucking dark, weird, wild shit written in the back of those yearbooks. And I only did it once. You know, we should bring our yearbooks here. I'm gonna go back when I'm in Phoenix. I'm gonna grab my yearbook and bring it back. Mm-hmm. And just let's just read some of them. I would love to.

Starting point is 00:40:13 Yeah, I would love to read it. I'd love to see what people wrote to you and your don't overdose on the horse this summer. Don't OD this summer. You think that's what I mean, it it's got to be something about drugs. Yeah, yeah. I had a weird, do you use to it? No, what the fuck are you doing? I didn't.

Starting point is 00:40:32 I had a weird, I'll tell you one, this is wild. I think I talked about this on this show. We were driving past this guy's house that I used to remember. I'm not going to say his name, but I've told you the scenario. We used to go there to do drugs because his both of his parents were deaf and he had a brother with Down syndrome. Okay, stop, stop, stop. Wait, stop, stop, stop.

Starting point is 00:40:51 There's too much information. Have I talked about this on the show? Go back again, say it again. I used to go to this guy's house. A high school used to go to this guy's house. To do drugs. To do drugs. So you're in a car, you go to the guy's house.

Starting point is 00:41:04 In high school. You walk in. A drug. Okay, I. So you're in a car. Yeah. You go to the guys' house. In high school. You walk in. We're always always. Okay, I need just one line at a time. Go ahead. I'm in. And his dad is probably there. And his dad is.

Starting point is 00:41:13 Deff. So he's basically, he's anybody here? Well, no, no, no, we knew he was deaf. He didn't do that all the time. He just all days. Yeah, he wasn't just walking around going, hey, buddy, here. He was aware that he was deaf. Oh, so days. Yeah, he wasn't just walking around going, Hey, buddy here.

Starting point is 00:41:25 He was aware that he was deaf. Oh, so you walk in and they're like, He's like, Hey, boo. He wouldn't really say hi. He would kind of just go like this. Oh, okay. All right. All right.

Starting point is 00:41:36 Okay, good. Sinner up in there. Hello, I go. What's his name? Mr. Watson. Mr. Watson. Mr. Watson. And Mrs. Watson also deaf. There she is.

Starting point is 00:41:45 There it is. Okay. And then we would go in his room. And sometimes his brother would be in there who had Down syndrome. Wait, so you would go in a Mr. Watson's room? Mr. Watson's son, our friend. Oh, his son, what's his name?

Starting point is 00:41:56 Fred Watson. Fred Watson. So you go to Fred Watson's room. You're in Fred Watson's room. And they'd be doing wipits or sniffing something. So Fred's like, hey, Chunko. Chunko, yeah. Idiot.

Starting point is 00:42:10 Chunko. Sure. What's the guy's brother's name? Willie. Willie. That's a better. Fred and Willie. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:42:18 Hey, bud. That's how he sounded? That's exactly how he sounded. I thought he had Down syndrome. Well, you do it. No, you do it. No, you do it. No, you do it. But I'm playing the other guy.

Starting point is 00:42:28 And I'm playing Fred. So you're... Willie. You're Willie. Yeah, you're Willie. No. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go ahead.

Starting point is 00:42:35 Yeah. Hey, Willie, here's some weed. Willie? This is no. Willie? Ha, ha, ha. Ha. Well, Willie didn't do drugs with us. He would just hang sometimes near us. Also, he's in the corner.

Starting point is 00:42:50 He was actually so fucking nice. And by the way, we'd eat lunch with him a lot of times. Really good kid. Very nice. But we did a lot of drugs in front of him. Yes, it was a house of chaos, two deaf parents and a kid with Down syndrome and my buddy. And our buddy. And we could do whatever we wanted there, dude.

Starting point is 00:43:05 Of course we could. Of course we could. Well, they weren't blind, but they were just, that didn't say, it's as if the cops came, they were like, we couldn't hear them smoking. Like, you know, right, that, I don't know. Yeah, they could smell.

Starting point is 00:43:15 They could smell. Yeah, they just let us do whatever the fuck we wanted in there. It was, he also taught me, I talked about this, I feel like, he taught us IP relay. His dad let us use IP relay to play pranks. Do you know what this is? Mm-mm.

Starting point is 00:43:26 Morgan and Morgan. Macon, our buddy got into a little fender better. Look at his neck. Your neck okay? No, but you told us you did say, you say, hey man, I got a fender better. I'm not injured, but if I was injured, who would you call? Morgan and Morgan.

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Starting point is 00:43:55 You're not, but if you ever do get injured, you can't. Submit to get claim is so, so simple. It's easier than me looking at McCone and saying, you're going to be okay, little guy. Hey, small fry. Sprite. Small fry. You're going to, small fry, you're gonna be okay. You're gonna be okay. And let me tell you something, a lot of people don't know where to turn when they get

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Starting point is 00:45:11 If you do that, you're done. What should I do? No, don't do that. Do more with Viator. Get on Viator. Get on Viator. They have so much cool stuff. Bobby, thank you for buying me my little.

Starting point is 00:45:19 You're welcome. You know what? And only good people do that. Only good people are going to get Viator from now on. Yeah. Viator's travel experience get viator from now on. Yeah. Viator's travel experience have millions of real traveler reviews. So you have the information you need to book the best activity for your trip.

Starting point is 00:45:30 It is so cool, it's so worth it. Download the viator app now and use code viator10 for 10% off your first booking in the app. One app over 300,000 travel experiences you'll remember. Do more with viator. Viator or do more. This episode is brought to you by HAU. Whether you need a break from your stack schedule, a distraction from the housework, or some company during night feeds with the newborn, HAU is part of your perfect combination of shows.

Starting point is 00:45:59 Catch all episodes past, present, and upcoming, of favorites like the Real Housewives, Fender Pump Rules, Southern Charm, and more. To start watching, head to HeU.com. This episode is brought to you by Coca-Cola Creations. The sights and sounds of the future are a mystery to us, accessible only through our imaginations, but for the first time ever, the taste of tomorrow is closer than ever. New from Coca-Cola Creations, Coca-Cola Y3000, the bright, fruity taste of the future.

Starting point is 00:46:32 Search Coca-Cola Y3000 to learn more. IP Relay is a government-provided service for the deaf, where what they do is you use a phone with it, with a keyboard on it, internet protocol relay, and someone is on the other end receiving these calls and dictating that just to you, right? Like I'm deaf, I call you, I type in on an IP relay box, what I want the person to say to you,

Starting point is 00:46:56 and it's an operator that has to say everything, I type. It's a human operator. Yeah, and everything I type, it has to say it to you. So the person would say, like if I typed an IP relay and I was like, Hey Bobby, I can't wait to come to say it to you so the person would say like if I type to night be really And I was like hey Bobby. I can't wait to come look cream out of your asshole tonight Hey, Bobby. I can't wait to come and cream out of your asshole tonight and hate and that's what I would say

Starting point is 00:47:13 I would say it to the other person on the other all right, so she's calling me. Yeah on the phone. Yeah, so go ahead ring ring Hello Hi, I'm the IP real later. We we really I'm the IP relay starts my first day on the job. That's okay. I apologize. Yeah, anyway, we've got Mr. Gonzalez that needs to have he has a message for you. You have a 10. Why do you have a 10? Is it because you're trying to attract boys? No, I've just been out in the sun too long.

Starting point is 00:47:47 And now you re- T-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t and we would prank call tons of people in place. Oh, that's random. Oh, that's a fun. It was so fucking naughty. It was so mean. And then you'd listen to the other person had to say it. Oh, they had to say it. It's awful. They have to say it. It's like when they do the sign language person we're doing a show.

Starting point is 00:48:15 They have to do it. They have to do it. So I do think that there's no way they would possibly. We had that at one of the shows. Yeah, that was fun. Are they changing signs like they change words to be more progressive? Ooh, that's interesting. Look that up. Oh, that's interesting. That, that was fun. Are they changing signs like they change words to be more progressive? Ooh, that's interesting.

Starting point is 00:48:25 Look that up. That's interesting. That's interesting. Interesting, interesting. Like updating, what do you call it? Updated web. Yeah. This needs to be changed.

Starting point is 00:48:33 Yeah, yeah. Asian could be like this. Is sign language changing? Yeah, look at this. Is it changing over time? It must be, right? Today's ASL includes some elements of LSF plus the original location sign language.

Starting point is 00:48:43 Over time, these have melded in a change into a rich, complex, mature language. But why would you, like, let me ask you something. Yeah, yeah. Why would you change the symbol? They change midget to a little person, right? Mm-hmm. But why can it be the same sign language? It is.

Starting point is 00:48:57 It's just Lolo, Lolo. It's even lower? Yeah, it's way lower. Yeah. Oh. Other changes attempts to make ASL more inclusive and accurate. Old sign for Italy included a cross But many a talents are now secular the new sign traces the squiggly outline of Italy shape the famous boot

Starting point is 00:49:10 So instead of just going like this to represent Italy you have to fucking trace So make it in a harder way harder see with the young generation. Yeah, they made it harder This could have been Italian or this yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Fafakulolo or this. Or this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fafakulo. Fanculo. Yeah. What would the Philippines, what would the sign for the Philippines be?

Starting point is 00:49:30 Yeah. Whoa. Whoa. Wait, I'm just like a guy. Oh my god. Oh my god. Yeah, yeah. Oh my god.

Starting point is 00:49:38 Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, no. I guess that's right. Yeah, she's like. Dude, that's not. That's gnarly. But she said her so fast, she's like. Dude, that's that's gnarly. She said it so fast. She knew that was it. Yeah. I imagine doing the symbol for all the fucking like, you know, Italy is the to punch. Yeah, but then what if it's just all the like what's hungry?

Starting point is 00:50:00 I mean, you have to trace the country. Yeah, the whole thing. They're not all the tracing. It's like some of them like Spain, for instance. You know what Spain is? Let me guess. Do it again. Let me do it. Spain. Oh, that's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just a piece of shit.

Starting point is 00:50:16 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I see what it is. Oh, this is Spain, little tiny heart. Look at that little tiny heart. Because they do. That Spain be real. That's Spain. They're conquerors. They're bad people

Starting point is 00:50:25 Yeah, this is spain little heart what's Korea in in sign language God, I'm loving that we're learning this is great for the people listening to the podcast. Yeah, oh, oh, look at this You they want to go to the ocean with down syndrome. Oh, all right Asian down right wow I think the first one was this yeah, that's Chinese and then somebody went lower And they went They went down to here, right But we know what he means we know what he's pointing at the eye now. What is it for Japanese? I really hope Japan is is is the superior. What is it?

Starting point is 00:50:58 If it's higher, that'd be great Oh, no, it's something cool. Yeah, let's go. It's this They're so cute. Yeah, because they always use hand. They're always about that's why it's something cool. Yeah, let's go. It's this. They're so cute. Yeah, because they always use hand. They're always about, that's why it's this. This is Japan. No, they're separate. This is it right here.

Starting point is 00:51:11 How is A? No, it's this. Oh, it's a heart. It's a sideways heart. It is kind of fucking wild. We do, I'm glad that we have these people at our show. I think America should be this. This is America.

Starting point is 00:51:24 Yeah, this is America. Right? That'd be cool. America. And this is Canada. Yeah. Right. Mexico. Go ahead.

Starting point is 00:51:32 Or America. Yeah, that'd be cool. Yeah. That's good. What's France? France? Probably this. Yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:51:40 And this is England. That's good. Yeah, what's France France probably this yeah And this is England That's really good I'm having fun That's fun. That's fun. What do you really want for your birthday? Do you want us to give you your gifts? I think it's gift time. Can I just, can I tell you what I want? Yeah. And I can, I can, I'll text you the company,

Starting point is 00:52:14 but there's this pocket pussy that I have. Yeah. It keeps breaking. And I bought two of them already, and I guess it's not waterproof. You want us to get a uniform, I'm sorry. But there's a one kind that I really like. And's a called I forgot that's why I'm gonna text you You'll text it now buy it for you. How much is it though?

Starting point is 00:52:31 A couple hundred dollars. Oh kiddo. You know, I will that's so funny time Segura and bird give each other cars and jet skis and I'm gonna give you a pocket pussy for you guys Well, let's get your gifts. Do you have a gift fancy? Inter some of fancy. I don't think you deserve anything Get your gifts. Do you have a gift, fancy? Interesting. Come on, fancy. I don't think you deserve anything. Whoa! Fancy told us all to get gifts.

Starting point is 00:52:51 And didn't get them himself. All right, okay. Wow. I like that slide. No, no, no, no. No, because you'll see what I get you for your birthday. What did you get me? When is your birthday?

Starting point is 00:53:01 It wasn't ready. Yeah, we already passed it. What was it though? He's gonna have another one. I wasn't in. What was your birthday? He was already passed it. What was it though? He's gonna have another one. What was it in? What was your birthday in March? Yeah, March. And I'll get you one in March.

Starting point is 00:53:10 Oh, okay. And then you're gonna look like a fool. If you're around that long, him. Yeah, you might be fine. You're gonna look like a fool. All right, McCone, come give him your gift. McCone, you know, he's itching to come be back on camera. He's been relegated to the bowels of the show.

Starting point is 00:53:22 But he got you something really fucking good. I was with him That's just a bag no, I know I like it already To t-shirt, but look what kind of t-shirt it is Wow, buddy show the audience kiddo Only foe. You like it? The cone's asking if you like it. It's not only fans, but it's funny. It's just funny.

Starting point is 00:53:49 Wait, you didn't get him the other shirt? Yeah, what are you fucking doing? Given the real one. That was funny. That was a really good one. That was his bit. That was good, that was a good bit. This, you're gonna fucking love.

Starting point is 00:53:59 He already knows he loves it. Look at that. Show it to the crowd. Star Trek Deep space nine commander. So that's, let me say something. You thought about it, you pondered, you articulated, you registered, and I appreciate that. Oh, and what is he out of 10?

Starting point is 00:54:20 Four. Okay, pocket pussy eight. It's a thoughtful gift. I'll give it a seven. All right, Jetsky, what do you got? Okay, I got eight. It's awful gift. I'll give it a, I'll give it a seven. All right, Jetsky, what do you got? Okay, I got in a lot of trouble last time. I got Bobby a gift. If you guys remember, I think the words you gave me

Starting point is 00:54:32 were never by me anything again. That is pretty close. No, you gave me the Cologne. Yeah, so I got to use something, but I didn't spend any money on it. But I think it's worth a lot more than money can buy. Okay. By the way, we should tell that story about your

Starting point is 00:54:46 cologne in Philly outside of the hotel. Read it, read it, read it. Let me tell the story in the meantime. Where the valley is going to make us move. Oh my God. We got to get out of the way. Bobby's like a fool. Bobby's full. I would know I'm sitting on one of those rollers. That's right. I love his car And he goes excuse me young man. Oh, that was nice. Yeah, I need you to move He's like can you wait can I please he was so nervous. He was very polite. Oh, you will he was nervous

Starting point is 00:55:17 I guess he was nervous. He was polite and he asked you could you please move off of that? I yeah, and then I got up and I was wearing my little duffel bag thing You know the shoulder strap called a bag daddy pack. Okay Could you please move off of that? Yeah, and then I got up and I was wearing my little duffle bag thing. You know, the shoulder strap called a bag. Paddy pack. Okay. I was wearing my backpack. Sure.

Starting point is 00:55:30 And I had my Lelabo Santel 33 Cologne and it was and it spilled out and it crashed on the ground. Shattered. Shattered. Clone all over the place. Brand new bottle. Brand new bottle. We get in the car and Bobby is furious. I'm. That's a $300 bottle of blood.

Starting point is 00:55:46 Yeah, live it. Live it. And then you got me another one. And then we went to New York and I saw the place with 10 minute walking from my hotel. So I got it for him as a thank you get from the tour. He spent $300 and some odd dollars on it. Thank you so much. And I use it as he's a no.

Starting point is 00:56:01 Yeah, but you are so mad. I'm going to read this. Okay. Let's read it. Hey, do you have a lighter? Yeah. It's not a joint. You wanna read it first. I think you're really gonna like.

Starting point is 00:56:11 How funny if I just lit on fire though. I think you'd regret it when you read what it is. I double-dog Daria. I'll tell you what it is after. No, no, no, no, no, honestly. Don't burn it. If you want a double-dog. It's a selfless gift, so I'd rather you not have it.

Starting point is 00:56:24 Triple-dog. No, no, no, no. No, no if you want a double dog. It's a selfless gift. So I'd rather you not have triple dog This is really sweet. It's really sweet. Let's see. I think it's gonna be sentimental I think I think I think here's what I think it is I think it's an appreciation for all the things I've done for you. Yeah, it's sentimental Yeah, it's gonna hit the heart. Yeah, and it's gonna stay with me for the rest of my life. I agree if it's not that We're gonna have issues. Yeah, you're gonna be pretty happy great. So we go here. We go Temporary restraining order For you to use on me plaintive Bobbie Lee

Starting point is 00:57:02 on me. Plaintive Bobby Lee. A, Plaintive has filed an undertaking as required by code Sivproc 515. No, Sivproc 515. No, no, it's true. Okay. Plaintive has established the probability of slight annoyance. Mm-hmm. So cute. It is ordered. Defended Jesse Jetski-Jussi Johnson is restrained from doing the following. Looking at Bobby, standing near or going for a hug near Bobby Contacting Bobby via phone or social media for eight hours. Whoa must be consecutive consecutive eight hours eight hours. Okay, plaintiff maybe

Starting point is 00:57:36 You know honestly, I have to sign it when you want to when you want to use it. You're signing it. Honestly. I want to frame this Can I have it? Yeah, say. He's no tarot. Why would I? No, I'm not going to do that. Put one of those hammers next to it because I know there will be a time where. Yeah, we need to put this in glass but make it breakable glass.

Starting point is 00:57:54 Yeah, that's really sweet. That's so nice. You know what that, can I say something? Good handwriting. That was thoughtful, precise, ingenious, clever. And it hit my heart. I really appreciate it. Rudy, you're up. Go ahead, Rudy.

Starting point is 00:58:09 Wait, he's gonna raid the gifts, love. Oh, yeah, raid it. Nine. Oh wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Okay.

Starting point is 00:58:17 Got a nervous to give mine. Okay, mine. Yeah. Okay, mine is, okay, I'm gonna explain. Yeah, please mine is okay. I'm gonna explain. Yeah, please Okay, since I've been cleaning your house. I know that you really like to take baths You get your salt and you like to like stay there and be like chill and so I thought I would buy you this. Okay. Guy loves bath salts. Don't, don't see anything else.

Starting point is 00:58:45 Okay. Yeah, don't say anything mean yet. Just like I say, I mean. I'm not gonna say anything mean. Wow, look at the big bag. Oh, ultra is a good, this company is good. It's ultra, not ultra. There is no, whatever.

Starting point is 00:58:57 Let's, I'm gonna stick my finger in it. What is it, bud? I'm lemon mask sheet. Oh, it's a face mask. A lemon face mask. Love, though. I know. I want to pull them on individually.

Starting point is 00:59:14 I'm pearl face mask. Another face mask. Okay, good. Yeah, this is good. Really good. Really good. Now, can you do brown and black face if you have face masks on? Is that okay? Yeah. Because those are brown. Yeah, you're not gonna be able to see yeah, I have a mask on

Starting point is 00:59:31 Changing you magic foot peeling shoes Somebody needs those what does this do you put it on your feet and then you just Stay stick it there, but what does it do this the dry skin? Yeah, yeah skin. Oh, this is gonna be great. Yeah, thank you. We do think you need that. Yeah, I'm just gonna pull them all out. Another mask sheet. Another mask. The mask.

Starting point is 00:59:53 Face. Be juicy skin. Corggy face mask. Nice. And this is another mask sheet. A lot of masks. Yeah, a lot of masks. Did they do a deal?

Starting point is 01:00:03 Was it like 10 for 5? Yeah, yeah. Well, that's really good. I really appreciate it. A little lazy. Rank, rank, rank. A little lazy. Rank, rank. Because it's like you went to one place.

Starting point is 01:00:17 Ulta. I know you went to one place. Rank it, baby. A six. Okay. Ooh, very good. A six. Okay. Very good. A six. Okay, who's next?

Starting point is 01:00:28 I got you something. It's honestly. And it's parked outside. It's not that good. It's not that good, but it is fun. Wow. Dude. Fucking dope, dude. Is that sick? Wow. Dude, fucking dope dude.

Starting point is 01:00:49 Is that sick? Fucking sick. Whoa. Isn't that sick? Well, first of all, you know that I like designer toys. Yeah. And plus toys. By the way, that's from Japan.

Starting point is 01:01:00 That thing is so fucking amazing. Dude, I feel pretty good right now. Can I say something? Yeah, you want your ranking? Yeah 9.5 what Fuck yes, nine fuck yes 0.5. Hmm now this that's ordered it. I'm not gonna talk about it Was it in your house? No, that was not in my house. Okay. No. Did you ride for it? No, no, no. This was all me.

Starting point is 01:01:28 Do it fast, fuck. Thank you. Do it fast, fuck. Thank you. Happy birthday to you. You the candle went out, but fucking light it again. Light it again. But I'm a cone, fuck.

Starting point is 01:01:38 God, can't imagine. Wait, wait, wait. Can I just also say this? But before you do, all right. I want to say, this isn't something you get at like safe way. No. This is something that was ordered.

Starting point is 01:01:51 This is a little price here. That's right. High end. That's right. And this right there is a 10. This is a 10 gift. I have never gotten a high class cake before. Well, I think you guys.

Starting point is 01:02:02 Hey, to break it to you. Fancy got that. So that's a 10 for fancy. He got the 10. Wow, let me see this fucking thing. Oh It's got the oh my god. It's got all the stuff. I gotta take a photo of it. Take a photo kiddo It's underneath all that stuff. I think it's all that stuff I think. I'm sorry. Oh, Bobby. It's for me, your dad. Dad!

Starting point is 01:02:35 Oh, my God, it worked! Dad! I come to Andrew's body. I'm a dad! Dad! What? Why all these guys? Are you gay? No, no, no, I'm not gay, dad! I know dad What oh Why all these guys are you gay? I'm not kidding. I kill you if you gay

Starting point is 01:02:50 He just looks gay dad that that's what the kids you don't know the last couple way, wait Wait, the kids look like this now the village people Does he look sick sickly? Yeah, yeah, yeah, like he has that thing, huh? I miss you. I miss you dad Oh, that's all Whoa, what the fuck I feel like I just got light headed. Yeah, my dad just came through Can I get some of this? Yeah, of course Honestly guys, thank you so honestly you didn't get me you got me the cake I'm gonna meet the whole fucking they just give him a fork and start eating it. I don't even, I don't want any.

Starting point is 01:03:25 Do you guys want any cake? No. Oh. Is that good cake, kiddo? That's next level. Now pretend like you're on a cooking show and tell us what the notes and the hints of flavors that you're getting.

Starting point is 01:03:36 Give it to me. Well, you know, usually in a cake, you expect breading. No. No, you like a cake like texture. expect breading. No. No, like a cake-like texture. Not breading. I know, I know. Do you mean spongy and squishy?

Starting point is 01:03:53 Not even, yeah, more drier, but spongy. Sponge, dry sponge. Dry sponge, right? Okay. Like a flourless chocolate cake. Yeah, and it's also my cooking show, so don't do that. I'm so sorry, we'll cut that part out.

Starting point is 01:04:05 I'll cut that out. Sorry about that. So ask me again now, cut, go ahead. All right, here we go. Yeah, leave it in. Welcome back to Bobby's birthday. Where we're reviewing Bobby's birthday cake. Oh, yeah.

Starting point is 01:04:15 What are the notes and flavors you're experiencing, Bob? It's a bread. Very good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. It's dry and spongy, but that's not what I have. What do you have when you go in here? It's like a pudding.

Starting point is 01:04:31 It tastes like tapioca pudding. Do we leave it out too long? Mmm. It's unbelievable. It's very good, huh? If I tell you how much that costs, you're going to lose your mind. How much was this? Take a fucking guess.

Starting point is 01:04:44 $100. You wish. $50? You're gonna lose your mind. How much was this take a fucking guess? $100 you wish 50 you less or higher 1995 $10 $5 we got it from Ralph's it was on the is on the everything must go rack. It was literally 599 There's no way 599 and there another one. There's no way. There's no way. There's no way.

Starting point is 01:05:07 There's no way. Literally no way. It got cooked three days ago for a guy. No. Here's what happened. This guy came in and asked for a birthday cake and then he found it was a gay birthday so he wouldn't sell it to him. Because I'll tell you why.

Starting point is 01:05:15 I'll tell you why you're wrong. No, it's an expensive cake. It's, you know what it is now? And you're going to love this. You know why? Why? It's, it's tapioca, you know the rice? Get her a fork.

Starting point is 01:05:26 The rice pudding. Yeah, get her a fork. The rice pudding. Get up there, you fat ass. Give that little fatty a little piece. Get up there, fat ass. By the way, you are gaining a lot of weight. You do look heavy.

Starting point is 01:05:38 You look hefty, you look hefty, hefty hippo. And you also have like a Jody Fox foster walk. Yeah, you do. Are you lezzin' out? Yeah. You do kinda look heavy. You kinda look like. Yeah, you just kinda look like, I'm gonna a Jody Fox foster walk. Yeah, you do. Are you lezzin? Yeah, you do kind of look heavy. You kind of look like I'm gonna will play softball. You kind of look like one of John Wayne's horses. Yeah, the rhino kind. The rhino kind. Do you want some? Yeah, chef. Yes, chef. Say that every time you take a bite and then yell yes, chef. Okay, mouthful.

Starting point is 01:06:01 Yeah, yes, chef mouthful. Well, well, there it is. Yeah, very good. Can I make you a little bit jealous right now? What? I forgot to bring this up on my flight back home to Chicago. Uh oh. Well, I got on the flight and I noticed a man, a man that you, I think you like very much.

Starting point is 01:06:21 Then he sat right behind me. And I, okay, it's a Chicago. Can I ask you a question? Sure. He's not from Chicago. I know, but what's the funny? I just liked the way you asked that. Well, what? Why? Cause you knew what it was going to be? Well, no, because you always just want to guess the thing before it's just the hand. Of course he does. And I think it's charming. Yeah, I just think that it's good for the podcast too. Yeah. And I just say that fucking pain, yeah. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:06:45 So this man, we're going to Chicago. Is it a sports figure? No. Is it an actor or an actress? No. Does it have to do with entertainment? Yes. Okay.

Starting point is 01:06:57 Is it a, some of the, you know, personally? No. Although I do, although I do now. Whoa. No, no, we don't wait out there. You didn't say hi? We did, we chatted a lot. Oh, but did you say, did he know who you were?

Starting point is 01:07:11 No. Is he the over the age of 60? No. He's probably your age. You're probably the same age. In fact, I bet you're the same age. Yep, he's a year off. Does he have to do with music?

Starting point is 01:07:25 Mm-hmm. Okay, good. Now we're getting somewhere. Is he in a band? Mm-hmm. He's in a band. Mm-hmm. Is he the lead singer?

Starting point is 01:07:33 He is the band. So he goes up, his name is the band. He's the band. Okay. Is it rock and roll? It's a crossing, multiverse of music. He does so much. I don't know who this is, though.

Starting point is 01:07:50 Okay, let me see. He's the band, his name is the band. How many guys do you know? He's a multiverse. He's touched a lot of bases in his extremely long and beautiful career. So he plays bass? Stop it.

Starting point is 01:08:02 No, he does not. Oh, okay. Okay, what is John, what decade genre? Is it eighties? No, it's nineties and now and still nineties and still. Nineties and still. Do you do? Okay, you guys. Does it start with a B? It does. Okay. Bon Jov. No. Bon Jov! Who was John Bon Jov's brother? Oh, John Bon Jov. Oh, bon, oh, bon. No, no, no, Bon Jov. Bon Jov.

Starting point is 01:08:30 Oh, it's that's what it be. Bon, bon over. Bon over. You mean Boni Vare. Boni Vare. Bono Vare. No. Four letters.

Starting point is 01:08:39 Jetsky knows. It's four letters. It starts with a V. Jetsky. Bono. No, but that's obviously a good guess. But that's you two and they didn't cross a lot of multi I think they were pretty stuck in one key B. I'm jealous. He's my favorite. He's your favorite. Yeah If it's what if it's not

Starting point is 01:08:56 That's with a B and it's four letters. You got it I got it right here people at home literally are yelling it at their computers and their phones really are Bojo. No. Bojo. That's her cat. This gentleman has made... I know what I know what I know what I know what I know what I know. What is it?

Starting point is 01:09:13 Back. Yes. Yay, Bobby. I know it. Back sat behind me on the plane. That's so awesome. That's insane. And by the way, the two tour managers that are with us,

Starting point is 01:09:23 that are with him, one of them was fucking Morrissey's tour manager. How rad was that talking to that fucking? Wow. But I talked to these guys and then back was like, chilling, super cool, nice, we chatted a bunch. We talked about the punk ass to- He knows about bad friends. I think maybe a little, maybe French.

Starting point is 01:09:42 He's like, can you give me a shout out? Yeah, well, fucking shout out back And then he doesn't know that met him before Really back when did you meet him I dated a woman yeah for almost a year I Met her so I so Martin Lawrence used to do these shows in the main room and he would just go throw any I don't care who's going opening so the store would always just put me up before him and She was at the show and met her we started dating and

Starting point is 01:10:10 she lived in a big actor's house Whoa, and she was the nanny of his kid, okay Giovanni, Robissi Yeah, I guess it, right? Yeah. And so, I, what's so funny? I was thinking about someone earlier. So I would, we'd be, because she lived downstairs, I'd be downstairs, and I'd go, how come you don't,

Starting point is 01:10:36 that's Giovanni, I can see his little feet. Little tiny feet. When you hear him, right, for it. So one morning, she went to go somewhere. I wake up and I went upstairs and all these people were there. And one of them was back. And did you talk to back? Yeah, I said hi, Bobby.

Starting point is 01:10:56 I'm getting so and so. What did he say? He's like, Hey, I worry. I remember there's a buffet table. Of course you remember that part. I just remember like, this is like over 20 years ago. Did he have a devil's haircut? Yeah, he did.

Starting point is 01:11:14 And was he a fucking loser? No, dude. That's funny. You're doing references. Yeah. He went Odele. What is that? Odele. Odele. He was, let me say this. He was nice then though.

Starting point is 01:11:28 He's so nice. He's so cool. We chatted all a bunch and they of course were polite enough to go, hey, you want to come to the fucking show tomorrow? Come backstage in Northern Lee Island is where they played in Chicago. It's a little, how, How awful is this? I go, it's tomorrow, and they're like, yeah, tomorrow night. It's my wife's birthday. That's the she liked, then? And she turned to me and she was like, we can go if you want to go. Oh, no, no, no, no, no!

Starting point is 01:11:57 No! She's no. Well, dude, we had a whole thing planned for her birthday. We had all this shit planned, and it was like, what am I going to do? Tell my fucking parents, hey guys, we're going to thing planned for her birthday. We had all this shit planned and it was like, what am I gonna do? Tell my fucking parents, hey guys, we're gonna bail on all the shit we fucking planned because we wanna go to Beck. Yeah, but 20 years from now, we can get to the divorce.

Starting point is 01:12:13 That's gonna be a part of the... Yeah, 100% that's what I'm gonna say, you're on her. Yeah. We couldn't go to fucking Beck because the bitch's birthday happened. Oh, dice clays, my lawyer. Did you, but I'll be honest with you, right? I was fucking bumped. If honestly, if you'd bumped if honestly I was bummed Taylor Swift

Starting point is 01:12:28 It was Taylor Swift and she said to your wife somehow. I got in Taylor Swift's private plane Give me someone more reasonable she's not gonna fly in a commercial fucking airline Taylor Swift is sitting in 14. Oh fuck all right It's um Adele again another miss Fuck all right, it's um Adele again another miss You think it del flies commercial. I don't know Rihanna. No man. You're not good at this. I don't know what what level what The little one that was Melina Goldas Selena Gomez. Yeah, yeah, Melina Gomez her sister. Yeah, yeah Selena Gomez give me a rock star from the 90s give me a Let us more set great perfect. She's definitely flying commercial. Why can't she be on a private plane? That's rude

Starting point is 01:13:16 No, I just think they don't she doesn't that's what is that rude? No, no, it's a lot of good somebody good song I'm not I'm just saying Sarah McLaughlin. Oh, she's definitely not on a private jet. All right, so it's Sarah McLaughlin Sarah McLaughlin right by the way all these people could be on private, but they wouldn't. It's a waste of money But if you're a Rihanna, you're not going to fucking LAX Go ahead. Anyway, Cerma Glockland in the Angel All right, let me down let me down. Is that the next word? Let me down Here you are, I'm in angel. Let me down, let me down. Is that the next word?

Starting point is 01:13:48 Let me down. I don't know. We stopped at the time that I didn't know anymore. I didn't know those words. I ran out. Yeah, yeah. Anyway, so she's sitting behind me. Right, and she looks at your wife and goes,

Starting point is 01:13:57 Hey, I'm doing a show. All right, it's your birthday. My birthday. It's your birthday. Yeah. But she says to your wife, I'm doing a show tomorrow night, get you backstage, great seats, come.

Starting point is 01:14:09 And your wife said to you, she goes, who the fuck is that bitch? Right. She doesn't know, I don't know if she likes her. Oh, no, no, I'm kidding. What is your wife like? Cheese. Okay, so cheese is back.

Starting point is 01:14:20 Cheese is back. So much. Yeah, a big block of cheese. A big block of cheddar. All right, a big block of cheddar right a big block. No I don't know Gorgonzola. She likes breathe. She likes breathe also. There's a melting breeze. Yeah, she is look at I'm breathe Yeah, right. Hey, I'm playing. I'm I'm doing a cheese show tomorrow night. Yeah, and guess who's next to breathe cracker Me yeah, there's a cracker next to be we're we're doing a show tomorrow night at AVP or downtown Chicago you should go yeah I'm a cracker yeah anyway right so

Starting point is 01:14:51 then yeah and then like there's an assistant who's fruit yeah right so we can you guys backstage right so fruits there right and whatever you guys want all access Pass it right and it's like salami. Yeah, yeah security guard. Yeah, security It's a lot yeah, we'll go to our bottom. Whatever you guys need it's a whole Security play just your country play. Yeah, so anyway and they're throwing a bash right on my birthday Right you and your wife goes Can we go can we go? Would you go?

Starting point is 01:15:25 Absolutely, we're going. See, then that's what she didn't do that. I know, that you need to call her and tell her this kind of fucking stuff. Can I call her? No. No, I'm not calling her. She'll be so fucking mad.

Starting point is 01:15:35 Do you mean mad? Yeah. Yeah, blow it up her shit. You're one year older. Yeah. And I appreciate you being here, and I'm happy that you're alive. I'm happy to be here.

Starting point is 01:15:44 And I want to say, and I'm happy that you're alive. I'm happy to be here. And I want to say thank you for being here. Thank you. Oh, that's good. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo.

Starting point is 01:15:55 Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo.

Starting point is 01:16:03 Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo! Yeah! Woo! Yeah! Woo!

Bad Friends - Happy Stardew Birthday, Bobby

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