Bad Friends - He's a Rat!

Episode Date: June 1, 2026

Get MORE Bad Friends at our Patreon!! https://www.patreon.com/c/badfriends Thank you to our Sponsors: Shopify, QUO, Rocket Money, BlueChew & Kachava • Shopify: Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at https://shopify.com/badfriends • QUO: Try QUO for free PLUS get 20% off your first 6 months when you go to https://Quo.com/BADFRIENDS • Rocket Money: Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join at https://RocketMoney.com/BADFRIENDS • BlueChew: Right now, when you buy two months of BlueChew Gold, you get the third for FREE with promo code BADFRIENDS. • Kachava: Go to https://kachava.com and use code BADFRIENDS for 15% off your first order YouTube Subscribe: http://bit.ly/BadFriendsYouTube Audio Subscribe: https://apple.co/31Jsvr2 Merch: http://badfriendsmerch.com 0:00 Little Asian Eyes 6:00 King Unc 13:00 White People Cruises 18:00 Sick Days & Holy Rats 25:30 Goat Cologne 30:00 Dragon's Breath 35:00 No Meat BBQ 41:00 A Man of The People 49:00 The Rat 54:00 Room Full of Lies More Bobby Lee TigerBelly: https://www.youtube.com/tigerbelly Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bobbyleelive Twitter: https://twitter.com/bobbyleelive Tickets: https://bobbylee.live More Andrew Santino Whiskey Ginger: https://www.youtube.com/andrewsantinowhiskeyginger Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino Twitter: https://Twitter.com/cheetosantino Tickets: http://www.andrewsantino.com More Fancy SOS VHS: https://www.youtube.com/@7EQUIS Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/fancyb.1 More Bad Friends iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-friends/id1496265971 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/badfriendspod/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/badfriends_pod Official Website: http://badfriendspod.com/ Opening Credits and Branding: https://www.instagram.com/joseph_faria & https://www.instagram.com/jenna_sunday Credit Sequence Music: http://bit.ly/RocomMusic // https://www.instagram.com/rocom Character Design: https://www.instagram.com/jeffreymyles Bad Friends Mosaic Sign: https://www.instagram.com/tedmunzmosaicart Produced by: 7EQUIS https://www.7equis.com/ Podcast Producer: Andrés Rosende This video contains paid promotion. #bobbylee #andrewsantino #badfriends #sponsored #ad Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots? White dude and an Asian dude. You two are disgusting. Oh, you two or something. We're bad friends. Finally, I saw an eye doctor today. What do the doc say?

We took a bunch of tests. Yeah, like what? Like A, B, F, Q? No, he said, there was one word called Hovum. Yeah, yeah. He goes, what does that say? There it said, Hotovov. Yeah, Hotov, yeah.

And I go, I'm Blotman. Ambladmin. Yeah, yeah, and he goes, that's way off, right? both eyes. Then he scanned the intertrial of all where all the like, cells. That's only an Asian thing. That's only an Asian thing. Yeah, I know. They don't have to do that for us. And what, you know what the cells are? They're squinty. The cells were squinty, dude. Even the cells under microscope parts. Yeah, yeah. Oh, what do we do? Wait, get up that, get that test up and let me see if we can do it.

Ready, Bob? Yes. I already know. Okay. Okay. Well, that's not, do the other one. There it's, this one. Okay. What are you going to do? Well, you're, I'm closer. Your eyes are way better than mine. No, I just want to see what line you can get down to. So the first... From here. No, one, two, and three are fine. Do the fourth line. Fourth line down.

T-H-V-O-H-T-O-V. Next one. Here we go. H-V-T-O-T-O-T-V-H-V-T-O. Great. Next one. Now I'm done. Q-2-N. No, Q-O.

It's O again. The letters are the same in every single one. Oh, okay. My point is is that... And the bottom one. Can you do that one? I can't do the bottom one. V-O-T.

T-H-T-O. Wow. That one's teeny tiny from here. Yeah, so I guess... But the doctor said, you have... You have long distance. He's got little Asian eyes. I love that.

You have long distance. And he goes, I want to show you something. It's a miracle. And I go, what is it? He goes, walk outside with me. So he was Asian, by the way. He was like, can I get a picture? He was Asian, by the way.

And he goes, look over there. What do you see? I go, I don't know nothing. And he put these glasses. glasses on me, I go, those are trees. Like literally, I saw nothing and he put the glasses on. This is across the street. I saw trees. You act like this is crazy science. It's just glasses. I know, but I've never had it before. And then... This is like when babies get cochlear implants and they can hear... So what I'm saying is that... 19... What is that? Glasses were invented in

1268. They've been around. I know. I haven't caught up yet. But when you, because I'm you, I know, I know, Dude, since the 13th century, we've had glasses. There's an Asian guy wearing them. Yeah, yeah, yeah, they've been wearing it for years. Yeah, yeah. That's amazing. So, so, I'm getting, I don't know what they're called,

but I'm getting the distance one. Oh, you know, all my cool glasses I wear. Yeah. I'm getting both lenses. Prescriptions. Yeah. The top is going to be long distance and the bottom is going to be, so I can read up front.

Yeah. Oh, so you really, you'll be data. You'll be actually data. I'll be data. But it's so funny, after I took the glasses off, everything seemed blurry. Right. So right now, everything seems blurry, so maybe I can't see.

Well, did they do the drops in your eyes? No. Wait, don't they do that, right? They dilate your eyes? Dude, let me just say something to you. Because I'm not in the best mood, and I like to say something to everyone, not you, to this theory, okay?

I don't do drop eye. Okay, I went to. You have. I have drop-eye. I have drop-eye. You don't do drop-eye. I don't do drop-eye. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So why can you read them? No, I'm saying... Dude, you take it... You know what? Unbutton one more button. Yeah, yeah, on button. Unbutton one more, you little for good. Would you diggerid you shirt?

I don't know what they call it. That's a good thing. Now, let me just say some... Why, why don't you unbutton, one-bun-bun-all-all-all-all-all-all-all-all-all-all-all-all-all-all-all-all-. So I went to... I called my assistant and I said, I don't want... I want future shit. Oh, yeah, yeah.

So they had me in a lab with machinery. Yeah. And you know what I mean? You know what I mean? Give me what NASA does. Yeah, that's what NASA did. So they were able to see the interior of my eye, the actual thing. And guess what?

You goes, your eyesight is going to be fine until your 80s. Because you have good eyes. Yeah, he says, he asked me some genetic questions. There's no blindness. Does your mom have glasses? No. My dad did, though. Right.

And my brother does. Steve does? Yeah, he does. Yeah, because he caught it early. Yeah, once you catch it early. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But so now what I'm going to do is I'm going to do everything with glasses on, even make love. You have to have them.

Yeah, because I don't think I've seen it right. Right. Yeah, everything's been blurry. That's what all your confusion. That's my belly button. What? Yeah, yeah. I'm going to see it.

He goes, you're going to see life in high death. HD. Yeah, for the first time. But then I go, when I get it. Three weeks. Well, yeah, it takes it. They got to make them, right? It's got to be... Well, I want my style. Yeah. So I'm taking my, you know, the glasses I wear. I'm going to punch out all those, you know what I mean, lenses and put those lenses. They'll do that. They'll do that. They'll do that. They'll do that. They'll do that. They'll do that. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. His hair is brack. Wait, wait, don't do it in an Asian accent. I didn't. Yeah. I haven't. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. My hair is Marl. What is that even?

Arlo Gold, yeah. But I just like this part. He's got Betty. She got Betty Davis eyes. He's got little Asian eyes. Yeah, yeah. And he'll tease you. He'll unease you.

Yeah, yeah. All the better just to please you. Yeah. Bob's precocious. Yeah. And he knows just what takes to make a pro blush. I love it. Yeah.

She's got Greta Garbo's. Greta Garbo's standoff size. Bobby's got little Asian eyes. Beautiful. He's got Genghis Khan standout act, right? We'll change it. Standoff size, gangis con standoff size. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You have beautiful little eyes. Thank you. I went to the dentist this morning. But let me guess. Brother, they say the same thing every time. You got two. No, I got zero this time. Thank God.

But they say the same thing every time and she's so nice about it. Do you, are you, have you been, how much, are you flossing? Ah. I said, I am flossing. She said, how much? I said, almost never.

I'm honest. about it. All right. I mean, I'm trying. I mean, I'm trying. I know. You're trying. Okay, how about this? I'm going to get in one, maybe two days a week. I always have. You do. You're good. Yeah, yeah. But I've been using this one for a year. It's the same one. It's the same one. It doesn't even have a string on it anymore. It's gone. Yeah, string's gone. How many days a week are you flossing for real? Every day. Every day. What about you? Every day. Three times a week. Three? Four? Four? Wow. I'm way behind the time. You pressed on the weekend. Yeah. Well, God needed.

I do one to two days a week because it's like on the move. And you know what it really is? It's usually after a big meal out. But if like today I had smoothie and a fuck, it's like, yeah. I'm brushing three days, three times a day. No, you're not. No, I brush in the morning when I get home and then before I go to bed. Okay.

I don't think so. My mom, no, my mom did it to me. Okay. My mom did midday brushing. What about this? Morning floss and then night. Morning floss instead of brush. Yeah, I mean, the midday one just floss.

I like the midday brush because then in case my wife and I have a midday hookup. It's a nice brush because then you have fresh brush. in the middle of the day. I do a midday poo. I do three. I do that while I'm pooing. Oh, you do? Okay.

It's one of the same. Yeah. But I, that don't, see, he's agreeing. A midday brush is really nice. You know what the dentist told me? I have so many missing teeth. He said by the age of 60, all of them are going to fall out. Congrats.

That's huge. So then I don't know what to do. Well, your vision will be good, but your mouth. Perfect vision with gums. Yeah. I can see everything. I'm fucked, dude. No.

By the way, you're just going to end up getting what everybody gets is caps. Everybody gets caps now. No, what they have to do is drill into my bone. But wait a minute. Veneers are different than caps. You can just get caps on. No, he said that my teeth are so weak. Why?

I don't know why. Let me see. You have great teeth. I know, but they're weak. The foundations and the root, it's all fucked. I have like ginger vices number five or whatever. But Koreans usually have very strong teeth. You can look this up.

Koreans are actually known to have some of the strong teeth. his teeth in the world. Yeah. So how come you didn't get that? I don't know. Genetically, I got the armpit thing, but that's it. You did get the armpit. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Look at this. Yes, look at this. Zoom in. Many Koreans have strong, healthy teeth. A culture of meticulous oral hygiene. Prevalent 333 rule brushing three times a day. Told you three minutes each. I'm telling you, Koreans are known for having phenomenal teeth.

This one was an exception. This one was an exception. And that's why he's the most famous Korean in the world. Watch your fucking mouth, Spaniard. Yeah, you bastard. You know, the disrespect is out of contact and out of control today. You've been nuts today. He came with an attitude this morning.

I know. Hey, he was on the phone in the parking lot. I saw. And he waved me off. I saw, I saw, I saw, saw, I saw. Waved me off. This is what he did, okay? I saw, I saw everything.

Okay. He comes out of, right, goes towards your car. I left a space for you because I know how angry you got. Thank you. If I'm parked close. Well, because the doors hit because our parking spots were made by. Brad Williams designed our parking lot. Yeah, yeah.

So I put a space between us and he comes out and he's, the door is literally between our car. cars and he goes towards you for some business information. And through business. Right. And you're on the phone. You're busy. So I'm available. And I turned to Andrej and I go, is there anything I can help with you?

He goes, nope. I go, can I help with something you guys that you can do? What were you on the phone? Who are you on the phone with, Hot Shot? You're being a hot shot. Who are you on the phone with Hot Shot? You don't want to say? Yeah.

It's a business. It's a secret business thing. But he goes, it's something I can talk you about. And I'm like, okay. All right, so I guess I got nothing. You explain it? Yeah, I got nothing. I told you, you're not going to do it.

That's true. But still ask. But still he wants to know. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Still ask. Dude, my hands are cramping up so bad. Drink that other water. Like, everything's cramping up, dude.

What do they do to you at the eye doctor? No, I haven't been drinking water all day. We got to have some water. Okay, I'll tell you why I'm in a bad mood. Ow. I swear to God. I am cramping up everything. How do you solve hand cramps?

Here we go. Gently stretch, get some electrolytes. Massage the affected area. McCone, will you come massage his hands, please? No, I'm being real. Everything is cramped. Do we have those heat things you put your hand in? Do we have that hand heat thing again?

Where's the hand massager? Did we buy one of those? I think I'm fine. I'm fine. You don't have to shake it or massage it. So today, just now, before I got here, I'm going to tell you what restaurant. But I was sitting at a restaurant, right? And there was a girl and three guys sitting at a table right now.

next to mine. Okay. Do you imagine? I've seen that movie. Okay. The whole table goes high. We're big fans. Yeah.

Right? And the girl goes, yeah, I'm a big fan. And I like that's fine. I go, we're one of these guys are boyfriends. And she goes, no, no, no. They're just friends of mine. I go, oh, oh. I go, what are you looking for in a guy?

And she goes, not Asian. Wow. Did they laugh? I wasn't even hitting on her, dude. Well, if you say to a girl, what are you looking for? Okay. Time out. You said, do you have a boyfriend?

Cramping the fuck up, guy. She got me all cramped up, guy. Do you have a boyfriend? I don't. What are you looking for in a guy? It seems like you're maybe saying, are you interested in I? No, because they, first of all...

He was just being unk. Oh, you're unkin. What's an unk? You? You're a unk. You're a king unk. What is unk? Like an uncle.

The kids call us unks. Like uncle. Yeah, I was being polite. Yeah, unk. Right. Oh, are any of these guys your boyfriend? Which is, and they're like, no, we're just, they were like, we're just friends. But that is an unclined.

Like an unk says something like, man, that is a, that's a short skirt for a day like today. That's an uncline. Oh, really? It's an unclined. All right. So I did, that was an unc. Yeah, you unked it. Yeah, but could she say something?

Oh my God. Could she say something different? Okay. I'll be the girl. Ready? Yeah. Go ahead. I go, um, will you have to approach me first.

I'm eating. Hey, we're huge fans. Oh, thanks. I want to tell you we're a huge fan. Thank you. Yeah. Oh, are these When are these guys your boyfriend?

No, these are all my friends. We're just friends. Oh, cool. Oh, so you're single? I am. Yeah, yeah. Well, what kind of guys are you looking for? Tall guys.

Oh, cool. Much better. Tall guys, guys who, you know, guys who are like Mayflower material. What do you mean by that? Like, you can build a ship? People who came over on one of this first couple of votes. Oh. I see, I see.

Yeah. Like Amistad? People who own people like you. Oh, not Amistat. No, no, opposite. Opposite of Amistad. People who own those boats. Oh, the people that own the boats.

Those are the guys I like. Oh, okay. Yeah. Do you own a boat? A yacht. You own a yacht. Yeah. How big?

Pretty fucking big. How many feet? Have you heard of Haanta virus? Does that you? That's my yacht. You guys are at it again. Yeah, yeah, yeah. By the way, don't get me started because you were the,

fourth person today who's talked about it. Everyone's freaking out about it. I'm going to tell you about it. Don't do a conspiracy. It's not going to. I'm going to tell you about it. Bring it up. No, you don't have to even bring it up.

Don't bring it up. I will tell you about it. Ask me. Don't bring it up. He's going to bring it up. Yeah, ask me. Okay. Is the hanta virus going to be the next plague, viral plague?

Nope. Why is that? Because we've gotten all the bad food out of the way. No, no. He's going to take responsibility. I'll tell you why. Okay. There's different strains of this virus.

Just like COVID. Just like COVID. Okay. But most of the, don't look it up, man. Don't look it up, guy. Most of the strains, you get it from rats. So if I, no, I'm being real. So if I'm in Brazil, I'm just an arbitrary country.

Seemed pretty pointed. I was going to see. I was a cheat up, but I went Brazil. Sure. I'm in Colombia, right? Right? It's all. It's all in the same area.

I'm in Peru. Now listen. He's just naming South America. All right. So I'm in Peru, okay? And I'm, you know, I'm mopping, right? Always mopping. A hallway or an alleyway.

There happens to be rat shit and rat piss. Right. Right. The particles go up by the air. I sniff it. You can get it mostly that way. That's how they get it from huffing rat poop particles. Now, there's one called the Andes.

strain, which is the one that's on the cruise ship, which is human to human. So this is like if you had it and you were kissing a girl, she gets it. But see, the odds of getting it... I'm not smelling the poop. You want to leave that bit in? Yeah, keep that bit in. Keep that in. Yeah, because sometimes we need anti-comedy.

When he bombs? Yeah, because it makes us funnier. It's perfect. Yeah, yeah. So anyway, the... Loser. Loser. You're a fucking loser.

Unbutton another button. So human to human. Human to human. And even in that, it's very difficult to get, apparently. Really? Yes. Wow. Because the couple that got it on the cruise were sleeping together on the same bed. Well, there were husband and wife, right?

Yeah, yeah. That makes sense. So that makes sense, right? But the only scary part is this. Who got it first, by the way? Did the guy or the girl get it? And they got it from a rat on the boat? No, they got it from bird watching in Argentina. I've said it once.

I'll say it again. Yeah. Stop watching birds. Stop watching that. They don't need to be watched. Yeah, yeah. They need to be perceived. You have to perceive them.

Perceive a bird is fine. Because if a hawk's going to come and attack your eyes, you know what I mean? Have good perceptual. And I don't have the eyes to even witness the hawk. Until you get the glasses. Right. Until I get the glasses, right? So don't poke up my eyes, Hawk.

Correct. Right. So my point is that they were out. You know, there's different kinds of cruises. Has that an image of you, between you, the time when you leave and you're getting your glasses and you don't have me yet, hawks just pulled. Smashing you in the eyes. I need glasses!

Yeah, yeah. The different kinds of cruises. Yeah, so this kind of cruise, like I did a cruise with the Adam Devine folk. Right. Right, that's, Max go back. Ah. Right, but there are some cruises, adventurism cruises, white cruises. White people cruise.

Yeah, yeah, white people cruises. Like, I need to go to go to the top of that mountain. Right. You know what I mean? I need to see the top of that Mayan temple. I must get to Kilimanjara. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, the explorers.

I'll go deeper into the game. You know the ones that go in the crevices? Why are you in there? What are you doing in there? Nothing's in it. There's nothing. And they get stuck. They're like, I can't move.

I go, because black people don't do that. They don't even go. We don't go to caves like that. You've never heard a black guy get stuck in Spalunking in a cave. No, no. You've even, there are like fucking caves in Asia,

Vietnam and whatnot that white people discover before the Asians did. Yeah, we didn't know that was there. I'm sure the Vietnamese knew that it was there. They're like, we're not going near. it. No way. Yeah, yeah. White people love Spalonging. They love Spalonging. So this is white people's fault. This is.

Yeah, so they went on an adventure. They caught it. You know what I mean? They brought it back on the cruise. And I think it's, but the scary part is somebody that was flying to South Africa right, who died.

Brought it. Brought it. But died. But the stewardess. Is that what you call them now? No. Fly the tenant. A flight attendant. got it. Oh no. You know what I mean? So that's a little weird. Well, because airplanes are the one. That's the one where I'm like, you're in a contained space

and they're like the hepa filters are really good. You're like not when the guy next to me is going because I've sat next to that guy. Many flights. Oh, dude, I have a rule and I have a message to everyone listening. If you're super have a cold and you're super sick, don't get on a plane and don't go and don't go to work. Don't get on it. You don't need to go. If I say food industry, I've had waiters, you know what I mean? Super sick. Like, here's your fries.

You're fine. Super sick. It's like, what are you doing at work, dude? Take a day down. Yeah. I understand the economy. People need to work. They need to work.

I understand that. And you know what? I'm going to be the opposite. I'm devil's advocate. I think everyone should go to work as sick as they possibly are. You fucking asshole. You know who does it every day? Who?

Fancy. That's right. Has never not come to work sick. I don't take a day off. You're sick now. But we go on the. the road, we get it from him, and then all of a sudden we're in Denver Saturday night. All sick.

Yeah, and we're all sick, and it's your fucking fault. You've gotten everyone in this room sick. Multiple times. You're a fucking asshole, dude. You're a carrier. I edited this show with like 110 fever. Okay. You'd be dead. But I bet you money. If I get the hauntivirus, hantavirus,

you gave it to me. You did. It's got a 30 to 40% mortality rate. What? And there's a 21 to 40, day incubation period. So you don't even know. But here's the good news.

You don't know for a month? Here's the good news. You want to hear the good news? Please. Even if you have it, and I have it, but it's not like, it's incubating,

you're not going to catch it for me until I have symptoms. Ah. Right? So it's like, if I have haanta, hanta, I don't know how you call it. And I sneeze. What does it prefer to be called?

Yeah. You Spanish fuck. Hanta. Hunter. Sounds like a good car company out of Japan. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hunter. Hunter virus.

Hunter. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Drive the all new hunter. So if I had it and I was showing symptoms and I sneezed in front of you, then. Then, yeah. Bring that back up, though. That says the radiest cities. I didn't say that.

No, but look, most rat infested cities are L.A., Chicago, Paris, New York, London, and Dishnoke, India. Known for its Kari Manta Temple, famously home to thousands of rats. considered holy. Oh, holy rats don't get it though. Yeah. So, did I get the facts correct about the Hantavirus? Yeah, you did. And can I say this? This is a temple dedicated to rats. That's crazy. Wow. Just don't go there. White people? Yeah, well, it's in India. I know, but they go, they do the cruise. We got to go to that temple. Got to go. Yeah, but not you. I would never. No, no, no. You're more. I'm a landlocked guy. No, you're more ethnic when it comes to decision making.

Thank you. Yeah. You're not going to bungee jump. Nope. Have you bungee jumped? Never. Never. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm way more ethnic when it comes to white.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mountain biking? Yeah, mountain biking. Why am I on a bicycle on a mountain? No, a flatland. Flatland. Yeah, flat on flat. Yeah.

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But here's the thing that we need to be careful of. All viruses, they want to survive. They're looking for a host. Right. And in order to survive, they mutate. Wow, fuck. Right. And COVID has mutated many times, thousands and thousands of times.

This thing is as a better mutator. Yeah, I don't know. We don't know yet. That's why, you know, who is getting up front? You know what I mean? The World Health Organization. WHO. Yeah, they're getting upfront on the messaging.

By the way, this does say kidney failure can happen within four to ten days after symptoms. You can just lose your kidney. Yeah, it's bad. This one is bad. you know what's going to happen is... People are going to die. No, because of... If this becomes like COVID,

what's going to happen is they tricked us last time. Yeah, they're not going to do it again. Yeah, they're not going to do it again. I'm going to the fucking country music festival. I'm going to go. Right?

Not that it could be Coachella. Come get you a rat. I don't want to be regional about it. Get a rat on stick. Yeah, yeah. And then all of a sudden, it's like the mortality rates worse and it's going to get bad.

I think we're good. Knock on... I think we're good. I think we're good. Because I mean, we're going to go into a recession. God bless. Yeah, and the economy is fucked. Let's go.

No. We got to go into recession. Why? Because they have to go down to go back up. That's the only way it works. If we don't do a recession, then we go into depression. We must recede before we proceed. Oh, like a wave.

We must hit the wave. Oh, I see. As of May, the U.S. economy is not in the current recession, faces significant material headwinds and mixed signals. Some analysts foresee a 40-50 percent probability of downturn due to high interest rates. But there's an AI bubble that could pop. You know what I mean? And if that happens, you know what I mean?

Then, you know. I don't want to. What? It's just scared. It's like. Who knows what's happening? Who knows what's happening? Are you feeling better?

He said he was feeling better earlier. Yeah, yeah. The head feels good. It looks good. Thank you. Your head feels good? Yeah, it just hurts in the back a little bit. You know, I can't see it.

It's got, I mean, from a far, when I look closer, I see the little redness. Yeah. From afar, it looks normal. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, it's, it's, it's, it. Dude, how funny if he turns into like a male model when this is over. Oh, that'd be awesome. If we shift him into modeling now in his...

He is handsome. He is. The kid's handsome. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You do stink. Because I'm always busy and... No, I know. Can I just say something about you're handsome?

You have a cool vibe? Thanks, bro. You know what I mean? Set up, set up, set up. Oh, yeah. Here it is. And if it before the butt doesn't count. The butt's my favorite.

Why can I be honest? No, you're... No, we would like it. Be honest. Yeah, you smell always good. Dido, by the way. I smell, I smelled a girl last night

at the fucking restaurant and I was like, God, what is that? That smells incredible. She's at an exos. And my wife was like, that's, that's Bobby's Cologne.

Yeah. I smelled you on someone else. Yeah. And it made me get, I ran up to her, I did an Asian accent to her. I missed you so much. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Because you wear a lot of unisex. I do a lot of unisex. I do some sweet, you mean, Woody sweet, you know what I mean? but I go... She had your cologne on it,

or your perfume? My perfume, yeah. So you think he smells? At times, your breath, you know what I mean? What is it? What does he use? Yeah.

Mollen and goats rum? Yeah, yeah. I don't know if, don't put goat in the title. It's too goat. It's too goadish. More mowlin. Yeah, do more mowlin. The founders are gay.

Less goat, more mowlin. That's goat, yeah. In fact, how about just only mowlin? For a smell good said to have goat in it is crazy. is crazy, dude. Is there a little bit of sheep in there too? I'm using Marcus and farts right now. More Marcus. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wait, is that your, that's your, that's your go-to? That's your scent? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What is that? What is that? Tom Ford. Tom Ford, yeah. Do you use it? Yes. Okay, all right, use. I come to work. I'm so stressed and I'm- This is what you need to do.

You do need to chill on the stress thing. Yeah, this is what you do. I can't take meds before I come here. Why? You see me raw. Oh. Andrew will know if I'm high. I will 100% know it. Well, you have tricked me a few times. There's certain. I just always forget to tell you the truth. Okay. So this is what you do. Okay. This is what I do. Yeah. Spray on the wrist. Always rub. And do a rub. Must. Right? I lift up my shirt. Right underneath. Now, do you do skin or do you do shirt?

It's, I, I spray upwards and it gets both. It gets all the way up. Yeah, it gets all the way up. I record myself doing it to prove it. Okay. And then this is another one I do. Sure. And this is a little gross. But I lift the sack and it hit the taint. How's that gross?

That's exactly where it's supposed to go. That's where it's supposed to go. Right? Because if, you know what I mean, you don't want them to taste it. No. Right? But you want them to smell it. Yeah.

Right. Right. The aura. Yeah. And then, wait, wait, I've got it. One on the neck. One on the neck. That was zesty.

Yeah, yeah. And that's it. That's it. What do you do? I do this. Two sprays. And that's it. Yeah, that's it.

No, no. But that's what I, because I don't overpower. You now? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't want to smell too crazy. Maybe I should. Spray some in your mouth too because that thing, what the, what do you, a dragon? Like, what temple are you trying to burn down?

I use the natural one. I mean, it's so smelly. It's the natural one and I don't. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Do more. Whatever. I'll give you the money. What do you think?

Please eat food. Yeah. You're not eating. McCona's commented multiple times Sometimes you'll skip an entire day of meals It smells like a vegetarian I skip sitting Don't do that

This is another thing he does on the road Yeah I didn't eat and yeah We haven't eaten all day You know I'll have Four lettuces One crout and half a shrimp It's like order a steak

Have a meal But you said I'm handsome earlier It's like that's why That has nothing to do with the food You need to eat for nutrition You're fucking up your breath Yeah it is Your body's gonna kill you

Yeah but you can just have smoothies No, you can't just eat smoothies. You can't just eat smoothies. I've been eating avocado toast and smoothies for a whole year and nothing else. Oh my God. Oh, congratulations. Thank you. You look like shit.

Give me the guy, give me, yeah, and then McDonald's. Yeah. Give me the guy that's, that does the Cologne tutorials. He does like on YouTube, he sprays. He says like a hundred sprays. That's what he does. Yeah, that's good. They do a hundred sprays.

I'd rather have that than whatever he has, this dragon. This guy, here's Cologne the right way. Let's see how Cologne. Let's see how it's applied the correct way. How to put on... How to put on Cologne? Because I don't... I mean, I guess I don't know how.

All right, here we go. Because this guy will teach us. I already told you. The best time to apply your Cologne... Push pause. Push pause. First of all. I don't believe it.

Already turned the video off. It's too much AI. That's why it's AI. Because I'll turn that off for a second. I'll take number two. No, I don't believe it. Okay. That's sports.

Yesterday morning. Yeah. Mookie bets. Yeah, Mookie bets. And Cam. Yeah, Cam, the bet. Right? They both smelled.

Unreal. Unreal. So good. Like, when you smell Mookie Bets. It's because they're famous. No, that's not it, dude, right? They just intuitively know where to spray, they do.

What to spray. They do. How to spray. They intuitively know to put some sort of mint in the mouth. Yep. Not to offend the human beings around them. I brought that to... Right, so...

So what I'm saying... I'm not done talking. Well, I'm just saying for being a bad. Yeah, yeah. So it's like, you know, so that they're not intrusive. Right. You know what I mean? Like, I don't want an eyebrow burned off.

Right? Because you're telling me something. You know what I mean? Do you understand what I'm saying? Like, I want... I don't want to get tan. I don't want to get an instant tan when you're talking to me. You're on one.

Yeah, yeah. You're not one at all. You're not one at all. You need to say you're fucking... They're fucking terrible. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You come up to me. Yeah, you need to tell you.

Your fake pills. No, no, no, no. No, no. No. Every time I'm with you, I'm on one. Go home. I look Filipino. Because your brother is so

like a dragon. He's had time with you. Yeah. He talked to you the other day and then he turned to me and he got breathburn. His whole face has breathburn. That's what I'm saying. Dude, I'm not eating. Look at the faping.

I'm not eating. Yeah, yeah. I know. It's terrible. What's in there? What's in there? Tobacco. Oh, God.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I love you. Yeah, I'm sorry. It's the price I pay. It's the price you pay. But please, we're going on the road Thursday morning. Yeah.

Right? But I'm not gonna eat till then. If you need Listerine packets or mints or gum or whatever you want, I'll give you thousands of dollars. Because that's what it's going to take. Because I use the natural stuff. It doesn't matter. And also on top of it, do the clone routine and that we won't have a fucking problem.

I've got a homeless man as my tour manager. I'll record it. Yeah. I'll record my stuff. What the fuck is going on? All the fuck is going on. All the stage hands are like, is he homeless? Like, no, he's not homeless.

He lives in the house. I'm sorry. No. That's been pinned up for years. Yeah. It's how do you say that? No, it's not. You say it all the time.

How do you say that to somebody? You know what I mean? You just did. No, that when you're, you know what I'm because you haven't, I've never seen you publicly acknowledge his breath. What do you in your mind think? I write about it. I have a blog.

I write about it. You do it. morning pages. The artist's way. I have a substack on it. You guys got to read it. Yeah, yeah, you got to read it. Go to morningbreath.com slash Andrew Santino.

All right, well, any retorts then for Bob then? Do you have a retort? No, Bobby usually smells good and he's a good boss. And respect is at a maximum. Oh, smart, dude. He's about to get some checks on the road. Yeah, very smart. Excited about that.

You're really good. Sold out San Antonio. It's great. Of course. Yeah, Houston's getting there and also Dallas is there already. Doing well. Toronto. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

This job from Texas, you're going to rip up Texas to shred. Yeah, so what I'm saying is that you're also being, the last thing I want to say. Oh, yeah. Anything you need. Yeah, last thing I want to say. Because I feel like people think that I complain or I'm being vicious. You know what I mean? I think you're overcompensating.

Let me say that again. Hit it again. You're overcompensating. Overcompensating, yeah. Overcompensating. Yeah, for what? Because last time I said you're not a good tour manager, right?

But now you're being extra good where it's kind of annoying. Oh, you're going too far? Yeah, today. No, no, no, no, no. It's not normal. Andrew would understand. So we fly out Thursday.

Yeah. Right, to San Antonio in the morning, right? We land at three. Right. He's already today going, what kind of beef do you want? What is that? What do you mean?

I have to pre-order meat for our barbecue place. They don't run out. So they don't run out. What do you mean? They're going to run out of meat by three. So when we go at 7.30, they'll hold. Did they tell you that?

They run out of meat. We're at a barbecue fucking place. Excuse me, we'll order the corn. Right? And I guess the corn bread. There's nothing good laugh. I mean, what? How are they doing business?

Because they're like a Michelin star place. That's normal. That's normal. God damn, dude. You're just calling the barbecue business. Me? It's a fucking barbecue place. Yeah, and they're all millionaires. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

God, you're so, you know. No, you don't. You're overcompensating this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's be real. Let's be real. For once in your life. No, go in the middle. Maybe he's overcompensated.

Ah. Wow, he's got me riled up, dude. How about we do a hygiene bump then financially? Give him a hygiene bump. Okay, I'm willing to do this, okay? We'll put aside a little bit of money for hygiene. I'm willing to do this, okay? Yeah.

Thanks for that. hair. Yeah. I can't even fucking hair, dog. That's not it. That's not what smells. Oh, yeah, it will. You think

that's hair from the back of his head? No, dude. He's not going to fucking sacrifice the back of his head. That's fucking asshole hair, dude. I love it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know what? Imagine that hair. He's going to have dreadlocks. He's going to have dingleberries up at the front? Yeah, yeah. It's going to look bad, dude. It's going to look so good.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not only are you going to look good. Yeah, yeah. I'm afraid we're going to lose you. To modeling? I just think you're going to get a full head of hair. I think he's going to get a full head of hair in a year, and he's going to think he's better than us.

Do you not think that's going to happen, fancy? I think he's going to be up his own ass. McCone's saying, yes, I think you're going to be Mr. Hotshot. And Mr. Hotshot's going to go, I'm late. I don't want to come to the shoot anymore. No. I'm doing my own thing. I'm doing my own thing.

I'm 90 minutes early every time. I'm a killer. I know, but you don't have any hair yet. When the hair comes in, it might change your perspective. Okay. That's interesting. He's two inches taller than me. One, one, one.

Maybe one. It's one. It's one. It's one. Two inches taller than me, right. With the hair might be even. Right. Right.

He has hauntabody. Hunter body. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The face is pretty good. Face is very good. Right. The eyes. Even with hair.

Eyes, nose, nose, mouth are very good. Right. The women like the eyes in the face and the nose. Right. You're right. But also women don't like medieval shit. They don't like people. No, no, no, no, no, they don't.

They don't like that. Yeah, you know, they don't like, you know, fire coming out of the mouth. They don't like, is that an ogre? And with their senses, you know, their smells. Right, I mean, they don't like medieval shit. Right, they like, yeah, right. Am I under a bridge?

Like what is going on? Like a troll, you know what I mean? Right. So what I'm saying to you is that it, I think it'll, you know what I mean? Even out. Even out as an average guy. Got it. I see it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go ahead.

No, I have nothing. Come at me. I'm not trying to go at you. Come at me, guy. Bobby Hinchcliff. I'm, dude. Oh, wow. Bill Bobby.

Oh, that's, dude, he's fucking gonna piss me off, do this guy, man. You're beginning to fucking piss me off right now, guy. I love you. I love you. I love you. Yeah, first of all, I love you. Yeah. All right, so I want to say this.

It's not rusting. That's not. That's honesting. It's, it's, it's. It's telling it how it is. Mm-hmm. Right? Structurally, it's not a roast joke.

It's not as clever as a roast joke. That's true. Ooh. Yeah. And I'm the one that said it. Yeah. So I admit it. Okay.

Right. Still got laughs. Yeah. Same with the roast the other night on Netflix. Right. So my point is that it's not a roast joke because I'm just being honest. Yeah. Oger.

Trowl. Dragon's breath. No, look at me right now, dude. I can't. No, I swear to God on my mother's life. that those three things are true. All right. So my point is, Bob, if you said one thing.

As soon, I'm talking, I'm the host of the show. Thank you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Okay. So anyway, let me finish what I would say, okay? What I have to say?

Oh, my God. Yeah, how is that, how is that roasting when I'm just being honest? It was not a roast. I didn't see a roast come out of that. Exactly. It was you divulging your room. What are the three things I said mythologically? Under a bridge.

Troll, Yes. Dragon's breast. Yes. And. Oger. Yes. Exactly.

Yeah. Now, will you defy any of those three things? There is no defiance. There's no defiance. No. There's truisms, correct? Truths. Truths.

Truths. Truths. You're a truther. I'm a truther. Correct. Right. Always. So case close.

Yeah. Thank you. That's not how like court works. You can't just. It is. If you own the court, it does work. Yeah. Do you believe he just said, I'm the executive producer?

Did you hear that? Is that what you said? to Bobby. Yeah, I've never even said executive before. Are you an executive producer? I mean, yeah, I guess. I, I may ask you as a... I made it.

Let me ask you as a... I'm nonpartisan, right? No, no, you're not partisan. You're my best friend and we do this together. So I'm partisan. We're on the poster. Yeah. I'm very part of the...

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're the band. We're the band. We're the band. We're the band. I'm on the tour. All right, so, um... This guy, dude.

You make the poster. I take pictures. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So let me ask you as my business. partner and as the stars of the show. Correct. Okay. Um, is the executive producer? Slash Booker. Let me think. Yeah, think about it. Hmm. Hmm. Wait, Andrew, I can just be producer. Oh, so you're, you don't even want the title. I was going to give it to you, but I guess no. So just producer then? Yeah. Associate. AP. Not associate. No, no, no. Well, what's McCone then? He's, he's exactly what Carlos is.

Oh, Carlos. No way. Blue Chew? You guys, I'm 54 years old. I'm about to turn 55. Congratulations. Yeah, I'm about to die. But my point is I'm still sexually active. And what I do is I have a girlfriend now as well.

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Look at me right now. Such projection. Don't talk, please, because the hosts are talking. At all. Look at me right now. Yeah. Does that sound like a broken little bit? No.

I want more love. I do love him. He's my tour manager. I will not fire him. He will be my tour manager to the end of my tour. What started this, do you think? How did this kick off? It was an energy transfer that happened.

I came in today because my hands were cramping. Yeah. Right? My hands were cramping and they're still cramping. Okay. I had a miracle by the eye thing. But then that lady said, you know what I mean? Not Asian.

That was rude. And so I was in this kind of mixed move. Also, when I was driving here, I was going, I have nothing to talk about. Oh, it's the barbecue. He's mad that I asked him for you. order barbecue. Yeah, yeah. I do feel like the pre-order ask was what started this whole role. Yeah. And I'm just order for him. That's what I'll end up doing. Okay. I want you to be comfortable.

Being on tour with like Nirvana would be easier. Like it was so much calmer in the early 90s with them, I bet. It's crazier. Like Michael Jackson and his monkey or something. Like it's insane. So you're saying he's a hard guy to work with? I think there are levels of difficult and he's on one of the higher ones. Really? Yeah, you have to really lie crazy. Wow. Yeah.

Now the heart and the hardest part about... Let's go back then. Oh, he's like, oh, I'm a man of the people. That makes me easy. Okay, let's go. If you want to get real, let's get real. We haven't been real this whole? Oh, no, because I was kidding about that.

You don't smoke an ogre. That's such gaslighting. You're a fucking gas fighter. I did that for comedy reasons. It's a comedy podcast. Yeah, ogres do not smell like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dragon's done.

Yeah, yeah. Dragons don't exist. These are actually all mythological creatures. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, cherubs. It's all fake. None of it's real. Such a gaslighting.

That's not gaslighting. That's a truism. There is no dragons. There is no dragons. There is a truth. Yeah, there's no. Is the truth. That's the truth.

Right. So take it back. There are trolls. There are some mythological evidence. Yeah, give or take. Give her take. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But anyway, I was in jest saying these things.

For comedy purposes, at one point or another, you took it personally. There was a personal tape. Right. And then you snapped. You got anger? If I snapped, Andrew would legit be like, get the fuck out of here. No, no, no. I would let you have your piece.

If you want to say your piece, you can say your piece. Yes. That's how you lose your job. No, no, no, you can't lose your job. I was just doing it in Jess. Of course you don't breathe and not a dragon. I can't even say it. And, oh, you're all that stuff, right?

I was just giving, you know, light hints of maybe, you know, main suggestions. Small stuff. Yeah, small stuff. and you took it personally. I wish that as my friend, you would just tell me the truth than that you were trying to break it.

Would you rather him tell you truth not on the air? No, on the air. You want it on the air. You want it on the air. Because it's because you wanted to. Okay, I will tell you the truth on the air then, right? You have dragon's breath.

All right? You smell like an ogre and a troll. Yeah. And all the things I can't like fight you back. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You can fight back. No. So let me ask you, I'm difficult on the road.

I'm like Michael Jackson and Bob. He said you were like bubbles in a month. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So what's my rider? Um, smart water. No, no, that's not, it's not smart water. Sugar-free Red Bull. I have two, I have two things on my rider.

Okay. I don't tell me what they are. Water? Yeah. And sugar-free Red Bull. I just said smart water and sugar-bought Those are the only two. Yeah.

What is Michael Jackson's rider? Oh, it's like all the degree. Nine-year-old boy. Yeah, I mean, no, don't say that. No, but I'm just saying. Okay, that is on his rider. I mean, but what's, you know what I mean?

You two's writer. It's not about the writer. Yes, it is. It's about what the tour manager has to do to make the artist happy. Mine's basic. I want a stool on stage. Yep. Right?

I want a meal. Yeah. Right? I want to pay my openers. And I also want Red Bull and water. That's it. That's it. I don't want to stir anything.

All right. War! It sounds like it's coming. He actually said that Bobby is so cool on the road that who, you know, he thinks Andrews. really really difficult. And you know that. You've said that to me before. No, y'all are very different.

You've said that to me before. I never. Yes, you have. I would literally never say that because you're such a fucking rat. You're such a rat that I would never say that. You're saying this now because you know the fucking fire. That's why I would never say it because you're such a rat. You think I'm the rat?

He's the rat. I would never call Andrew. All right. Hey, hey. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Look at me right now.

I'll be quiet. I call it for him. Listen to me right now. Okay. You have to be more on top of the case. Yeah, I'm, we're good. No, I'm not worried about you and me. I'm worried about me and Andrew.

I know. I understand. It's good. It's real good. No, it's not good. Yeah, it's good. He's also my voice. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's good.

It's good. Let me look at it. My friend here. Yeah. Hello? Hi, ma'am. Yeah. Don't take it personally.

Hit me. Okay. You ready for a fucking lie. Okay. Let's play fair. Play fair. What Andreas said? Mm-hmm.

What do you say? That I'm more difficult on the road than you. Okay. Did I say that? You did not, no. Little facts are facts. Fancy said that. He said that.

Carlos said that. Yeah. Behind my back. I've never. Yeah, yeah. So. Never. So.

Listen here, dragon boy. I have never called me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's very interesting to me. I'm getting the heat because I'm the easier target. Oh, welcome to my life. It's like we're mirror images. I know.

So what I'm saying is that you're, he's scarier than I am. Oh yeah. Yeah. So you have to stay on top of it with him. Yeah. Okay. So you treat me shittier. You do because you're afraid of him.

This is. Let's be real. Let's be real for once. That's not true. I'm not frustrated with Andrew in the slightest and it's not redirected to you. That's insane. I like working with Andrew. Not anymore.

Hey brother. We're going to be needing to look for a new tour manager. As the run I have right now is a dragon breast troll ghoul. Please. I'm calling mine live. Matt? No, Abby. I'm kidding.

I didn't text. I'm doing for real. I would never do that. Carlos is obviously good. Andre's please. Hello. Hi, it's Bob. Bob.

Yeah, one of your clients, Bob Lee. What's up? What's up? I just want to let you know you're on bad friends right now. I am. Yeah, but you're not going to say anything bad. I'm just going to let you. I'm going to say, I'll do all the talk in.

And then you just, and then I'm going to hang up. Do they hear me this part? Yeah, they're hearing you talk, yes. But you don't have to, yeah, but you don't have to talk anymore. Did she know what a podcast is? Yeah. All right. All right.

So here's, here's our right. My tour manager has Dragon's Breath. Don't say anything, right? Smells like a troll and an ogre, right? If I looked at my,

my writer, none of the shit that's in my dressing room is in, like, the fruit play. Not true, Abby. Yeah,

yeah, yeah. It's not true. It's not true. And I want to let you know this tour is fine, but the next tour I do, he's out, okay? I love him.

Thank you. Okay, bye. She's fired. She's fired. She's fired, though. I will say this. Yes. The fact that you went behind my back.

It's insane. I love it. And told Fancy. And McCone. Did he tell you? And me. Did he tell you, McCone? Macone didn't hear this.

No, McCone. McCone, come closer to the mic. McCone, have you ever tour managed? No, but I've seen a lot of how you're about to. McCone, you've told me this before. Okay. And I want you to be. on the record, right?

Who's scarier? Andrew or I? Andrew. Okay, good. That's good. That's the way I love it. All right, but you have said that before. But fear doesn't make me talk shit about him.

Hmm. Or does it? Or does it? No, I'm so much more. I don't tell you anything, Bob, because you would tell everyone my business. Oh, I'm a gossiper. Interesting, I'm a gossiper. I'm a witch.

Yeah, you are. Salem's witch trial, huh? Wow. Wow. Well, you know what's unfortunate? to Carlos, I will be honest with you right now. We love you. No, not yet.

Okay. I thought, man, I make it real easy on Carlos. I don't ask for much, but the simple things. You don't. I just want water and popcorn backstage before I go on. And you always have it. It's crazy. And I just think, I don't ever call you and bug in say,

give me this, give me that. I need this, I need that. Yeah. And for you to go behind my back and tell Fancy, I'm difficult to deal with on the road breaks my heart and quite frankly I think I think that's it for us

on the road This is sad that we're going to end over lies Mark. Who's lying? Fancy's lying? I think Fancy's having a hallucination from one of his many colds. Are you lying? Yeah, it's a fever dream. I'm lying. No, you're lying about lying now

so now there's layers of lies so now I can't believe anybody in the booth Yeah. So now we have a booth filled of liars They've always have been lying Who's to believe now? No one. No, you're in a self. No one to believe.

So you are the only person I can believe. No. I can't believe me either. Okay, well. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is Game of Thrones. Oh, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And whom is the dragon? Yeah, yeah, yeah, right there. I'm Calisi. You know, for the record, I defended you. I don't think you have bad breath. And I don't think you smell bad. Thank you, brother. Yeah, I don't either.

It was just a joke. Lies. The room full of lies. Yeah, yeah. I'm a liar as well. Gosh, how do we get away from that? I don't know. Well, let me tell you something, though.

In all honesty, all jokes aside. All jokes aside. I love you dearly, Carlos. I do too. But I will not be touring with you in the future. He got a good beating today. I took it like a fucking... You know what the worst part of all this is?

What is it? This is like an ex that we have a kid with. We still have to see these people. What do you mean? You and I had a baby. Yes, the show is our baby. Yeah, and that's our child. No, no, no.

That's our ex. These people are the... Oh, these are our ex. Yeah, yeah. And now we have to see the... them because to create to keep the baby happy, we have to see our exes. Right. That's exactly what it is. And they're all of our exes. Yeah. I do that on Tiger Belly. A grand slam. A literal grand slam. Yeah. And that's what it is over here. Yeah. I'm disappointed. I'm disappointed

too. The way you framed it makes me disappointed, but I guess, you know. I guess that's the way it is. The panic. Remember, what did I say before? I went in hot, right? And what did I say? When I walked through the store. You have nothing to talk about. Exactly. But you know what that really means? I got something to say.

I have to see my ex. Yeah. Yeah. Toxic behavior. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I have to see my ex and I have to pretend everything's cool. You know what I mean? Yeah.

So it's like, be cooler. Be cooler. That's great advice. Yeah, it's good advice, right? Thank you, man. And when you walk out of the door, right? Don't go just to Andrew. Tell me some business.

Okay. Lie to me. I just want to say this, okay? Yeah. And this is the truth of the matter. You're a great boss, man. I love you. Okay.

Okay, this is the truth of the matter, okay? I'm telling you. I'm going to be honest with you. Didn't tell me, I'm a good boss. But tell Andrew, I didn't say that. Thank you. He loves you. Thank you.

Fancy? He didn't say that. Say you swear on your daughter's life, he didn't say that. Say you swear on your daughter's life. On your daughter's life. Say it. No, no, no, no, no, no. You can't, what you're saying,

even if you're crossing your little toes and your fingers and you're thinking something else, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, this is true, right? Say on your daughter's life that he didn't say that. He did it. On my daughter's life. Say that. Say he didn't say that on my daughter's life.

He didn't say that on my daughter's life. Let's go. Okay. Okay. You get a phone call right now. Your wife is like, she's dead. I can't believe you would let your daughter die. Crazy.

It's so crazy. For just the show. Yeah, just for the show. Yeah. That's to give the show. Wow. Call the hospital. Wow.

Wow. Yeah, call the hospital right now. Call the hospital. Yeah. I believe. Here's the deal. Here's a lot of bits. We're doing a lot of bits.

I was ripping on you. And here's the honest truth. even with my notoriety and some of my income, right? I still don't do better than you when it comes to the ladies. And historically, I haven't. So maybe it's a little bit of my...

Yeah, so you still have Dragon's Breath. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You still have that. You still have all those things. But still, historically, you've always done better than me when it comes to the attraction of the opposite sex. So, but Dragon's Breath Ogre troll. Thank you for being a bad friend.