Bad Friends - How The Bobo Ruined Christmas!

Episode Date: December 21, 2020

Thank you to our sponsors: http://upstart.com/badfriends & https://betterhelp.com/badfriends & DoorDash code: badfriends & http://policygenius.com Subscribe to our YouTube: http://bit.ly/BadFriendsYouTube 0:00 How The Bobo Ruined Christmas 7:20 The Truth About Rudolph 11:34 Shoes Are The Best Gift 16:15 We Gave Our Dog Away 22:01 Film Review: UP 25:40 Bad Friends Secret Santa 35:55 Bobby Lee From Hollis Queens 40:05 The Nice Things 45:25 Mackenzie Bezos Gave Away $4 Billion 51:20 We Call Brad Williams 1:01:40 The Christmas Quiz 1:15:03 The Christmas Tree Drying Rack More Bobby Lee TigerBelly: https://www.youtube.com/tigerbelly Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bobbyleelive/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/bobbyleelive Tickets: https://bobbyleelive.com/ More Andrew Santino Whiskey Ginger: https://www.youtube.com/andrewsantinowhiskeyginger Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino/ Twitter: https://Twitter.com/cheetosantino Tickets: http://www.andrewsantino.com/ More Bad Friends iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-friends/id1496265971 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/badfriendspod/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/badfriends_pod Official Website: http://badfriendspod.com/ Opening Credits and Branding: https://www.instagram.com/joseph_faria & https://www.instagram.com/jenna_sunday Credit Sequence Music: http://bit.ly/RocomMusic // https://www.instagram.com/rocom Character Design: https://www.instagram.com/jeffreymyles Produced by George Kimmel & Bryce Hallock - 7EQUIS Podcast Producers: Jenna Sunde, Joe Faria, Andrés Rosende Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Anchor if you haven't heard about anchor. It's the easiest way to make a podcast Let me explain. Oh, please. It's free. Awesome. That's cool These are there are creation tools that allow you to record and edit your podcast right from your phone or your computer You do it from your phone like on the go. Oh my god That's cool the bus or the subway you can do it. That's cool Anchor will distribute your podcast for you so it can be heard on Spotify Apple podcast and many many many many many many more. Go ahead You can make money from your podcast too. No minimum listenership. How about that? You can make money with no minimum listenership It's everything you need to make a podcast all in one place. Where do we have to go Bob?

Download the free anchor app or go to anchor.fm to get started Ho ho ho Hi boys and girls Come on, come on I'm going to tell you a story about Christmas It's time for a Christmas tale. How the bubble Ruined Christmas It was the day before Christmas right here in LA the people delighted it's in their own way

Faces, where's my alien? Stop. Stop. Stop it. This is tear Andre's. They're never gonna understand you You're you're too fancy be scoot over scoot over. Move. Fine. Move. It was the day before Christmas Right here in LA The people delighted each in their own way Faces were smiling and joy filled the air excited for gifts that they ordered this year The people in town were filled with glee all except one Could it be? In the hills of Hollywood tucked just behind the sign stood a mountain of boogers a stockpile of slime a

Top booger mountain overlooking LA Lived a mean yellow creature in his gross booger cave Grumpy and cranky from gaming all night. He peered down on the city. He hated the site He was so sick of Christmas so tired of it for 49 years He dealt with this shit the festivities the songs. They're all just so lame. It's that jerk santo He was to blame. He must ruin Christmas. He thought to himself. He must ruin Christmas. But how Bobo? How? He then had an idea so violent so mean He'd give this crap town something special indeed

Quickly he jumped in his ram shackled van. He raced down to the city with a horrible plan and Every house pad and condo on each and every floor The Bobo white boogers on gifts at their doors When the town folks checked on their presents that night, they were greeted with the disgustingly horrible site Quickly they opened their santo Claus app to leave their reviews crap crap crap crap crap Back on the north side at the Christmas workshop Santos business was booming and growing non-stop. His orders were filled and delivered on time Suck on it Bezos this holiday's mine

With peace of mind without disconcert suddenly his phone rang out red alert red alert Christmas spirit was plummeting as fast as it could someone in Hollywood was up to no good Santo was in rage. How could this happen? Quickly? He dispatched his red elf assassin Rudolph the red blade boarded a plane. She flew to Los Angeles to investigate Down Hollywood Boulevard and all over town Disgusting green boogers were left all around Rudolph the ninja left through the streets searching for traces of the boogery theme She found where he lurked yet

He was not there in the distance. She could see the Bobo's green lair Of course booger mountain overlooking LA where the mean Bobo lives in his gross booger cave Rudolph the ninja snuck in with stealth where Bobo was playing video games all by himself She snuck and she slunk and she crept up behind Placed her blade to his throat grabbed her phone and she dialed FaceTime connected and Santo saw clear the Bobo was done for his life will end here Wait Santo cried out to stop Rudy's blade. He knew something was wrong. Just look at Bobo's face With tears in Bobo's eyes Santo could see he wasn't mean at all. He was sad and lonely

Santo's temper and rage was calmed and subdued. It was a miraculous thing His tender heart grew Release him said Santo this Bobo's just sad Instead will give him the best Christmas. He's ever had the Bobo replied if I could have just one wish I've always wanted a friend to play my games with So upon Christmas morning to Bobo's delight Santo stopped by the booger cave for a video game fight The Bobo was happy, but Santo was a noob

Gaming was not something Santo could do round one fight You win perfect Perfect perfect round up around it was much of the same Santo got his ass walked game after game Santo had had enough his temper I rate this brutal assault He could no longer take that's it you scumbag Santo screamed out the Bobo just laughed with a hollering shout Santo's heart shrank down to its regular size

With a snap of his fingers the Bobo met his demise Rudolph's red blade Slash down with such might Merry Christmas you bastards and to all a bad night You two are bad friends For these two idiots A white dude and an Asian dude You two are disgusted Oh you two are something

You're bad friends Oh, oh, oh, hi Bob Bobby must move for a mistrial now That trial was an abomination improved everything wrong with the judicial process in this country Bobby must move for a mistrial and demand a proper trial trial the main witness in the case is a presiding judge Here the judge happens to be a material witness and cannot testify unless she recuses herself as a presiding judge Over this matter if not Bobo's motion for a mistrial is deemed granted and new trial must be conducted Merry Christmas

I mean For a week. I've been thinking about this. You've been thinking about how the case Yeah, anyway, I already lost and I paid. I'm sorry. Oh, oh, oh, thank you Oh, but I want to say this before we even start. No, we already started because we got that. I'm sorry on there Oh, I'm sorry But case in point though, you know, I showed up here right on time Mm-hmm, and I had to wait you shut up. You should actually showed up five minutes early. Exactly, but it's now 802 Yeah, and we started two minutes ago when you started reading that long thing

No, we literally started when you started reading One minute Oh, oh, oh, you know, everybody knows Everybody I'm gonna say something about your outfit though. Yeah, well, I'm Rudolph the reindeer The thing is is that um, what I don't get about Rudolph. Can I just ask what I don't know much about a hundred percent? I'll tell you everything you know. Thank you so much. So um, so Rudolph was being teased Well, he was teased and bullied about having a red nose, right?

And so at nights probably Rudolph went to sleep crying a lot. Yeah, right? He probably couldn't sleep well because every time we close his eyes the bright shine of the nose probably woke him up Right, right. Imagine that. Yeah, you're trying to go to sleep and then also you just see this red glow in your face All right, terrible. That's yeah, that's how it is in my house My wife you'd wake up and all the other fucking reindeer would be like you fucking freak. Yeah Look at your nose you freak. Yeah, they probably fucking do what like dogs do with a fucking, uh, you know And they piss like this face. Yep

And then one day it's really snowy out Right the blizzard or some shit Santa Santa is uh, he's like scared Yeah, how am I gonna navigate and then he realizes the freak. Yeah, it's right. Yeah goes a Rudolph the freak your your head And who does it why? Right, right because if your freak knows, right, right? Ruga's okay, and he does it and then all of a sudden everyone likes him and he's cool Yeah, that's fucking a bullshit story what they don't tell you is what the next day

They still went back to beating the shit out. I know they bullied him again That's what I always think that they bullied him afterwards. Of course they did. Yeah. Yeah He got his little moment in the Sun. Yeah, but then after that it was like that's it Let's beat the shit out of him because I don't know if you know but Donner and Vixen Before they were in a gang It sounds like it. Yeah Donner and Vixen were in a game. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, they were Crips They play a tattoos on their bellies. They were Crips soft little underbellies

Yeah, they were Crips and they hated that he was a blood Rudolph was a blood. Do you know he was a blood from South Africa? That's why there's a red nose. What is it? What freak? What's the only what's what's your least favorite of all of these songs or limericks or whatever? I'll tell you. I'll tell you. I'll tell you. I'll tell you. I'll tell you. I was just in Hawaii and I was at a ABC store You want an ABC store? Yes, I do. They're like they're 7-Eleven same thing much better. Yeah, they're well They're cleaner. They're a little bit higher end than our 7-Eleven. I think it's more like um What would we call it it's like between CVS and and it's like an upgraded You know how they started upgrading star boxes. Yeah, it's like that. It's like a high-end high-end 7-Eleven

Yeah, it's a 9-Eleven. So it's there at 7-Eleven or there's a ABC store. Yeah, and this is like in the beginning of December Yeah, and they start playing mute Christmas music, which is always bizarre in Hawaii Yeah, well feels like here too when you hear it here. You're like it doesn't belong then they start singing this song Let's get it. Yeah Frosty The snow man, right and immediately my head Frosty hates Hawaii. You can't stand it. He would die instantly instantaneously. He'd get off the plane It'd be frosty the puddle just his nose in his eyes. He would be just be dead

Yeah, he hates Hawaii who likes Hawaii that's in the but no one of them none of them. Yeah Santa Claus Hates Hawaii. Do you think he passes over half the Pacific Ocean? Uh-huh for 30 kids How many kids how many kids are in Hawaii? Yeah, 40 tops. Maybe right imagine imagine Santa Claus, right? He thinks it's his last house in Cleveland, right, right? All right Five in the morning, right? He just drops it off and an elf calls him. Yeah, that's that's it It's like yeah. Yeah, what I'm almost done Hawaii Yeah, he's gonna get in it. He probably doesn't have the presence right. He has to look around. What are they like coconuts? Oh, yeah

Coffee here you go kid. Yeah Santa Claus hates Hawaii hates him. Yeah, does it does it like Southern, California? No, he doesn't know what it's in It's in the mainland. I guess but easier. It's simpler to get it's easier to get to you for him to do it Do you think Santa judges the people? He goes, I don't really give better gifts because of this area I don't like this area probably. Yeah, that's right. Like he sees he sees what and he goes I don't like he goes. He looks he goes Albuquerque. Yeah, I don't know Rudy, what's the best gift you ever got for Christmas? Oh I

Don't know shoes shoes. That's the best that you've got. I gave you shoes on this show I gave you shoes fucking bullshit what she's saying and the kind of fucking Garbage yeah comes out of this ungrateful ladies fucking mouth. Well, hold on. I gave you shoes Yeah, show your shoes right now because I know what's going on lift your feet up to the camera Because you have one of ours on that I got you the sandals. I got you. I'm wearing two different Yeah, why I think I didn't see What what do you mean you didn't see because he took Bobby was yelling at me to go because you were late again Were you late again? No, because dude is this where yeah, no, I'm saying she was like

It sounds like that's the truth Yelling at her right. Yeah, let's go. I don't want another trial Yeah, she's like but I sleeping or whatever she's doing right and she waddle waddle waddle But she's not wearing the right shoes or her eye is the sleep in her eyes I mean, it's it's a fucking, you know, but what you said there shoes is the best thing you've gotten that's the best Then I didn't I give you a fucking iPad You had an iPad. Oh, but you didn't give that it was like a game and then I picked the iPad But I bought the iPad, right? Yeah, and you picked it out of the fucking thing, right?

So so so he gave you an iPad. Yeah, so that's wait So shoes Are better than an iPad. No, I forgot Let me ask you this you fucking little one. Did I ever buy your computer? Oh, yeah Oh my god, you got an iPad and a computer, which also is a computer. Yeah, but I bought a book I bought you a computer. No. Yeah, what kind a couple of thousand dollar computer MacBook Pro Wow. Yeah, do you know anybody else you raise you like you know, I didn't get a MacBook Pro till I was in my 30s Yeah, she has no idea. Is it an iPad pro? No, it's a mini iPad. Oh, those are cool

Yes, I got a mini iPad and I also got a Computer did I get it for you for Christmas or your birthday the computer? Yeah No, it was the first time I got here and then you gave it to me because I was taking care of Julio Yes, so basically I gave you a fucking computer Just for funsies for funsies, you know, you got a funsies computer. Yeah. Okay. I get it. Wow Yeah, you're grateful. And so I said what's your best favorite gift and you said? Shoes right says a lot. It's just so much dude. It breaks my heart. What's your favorite gift that you've ever gotten? Oh, I've gotten some good ones or what's your favorite really that funny, but what have you given that you love? I

I give what I don't give what they desire. I give what the most expensive thing is like what do you give your mom? Like I got my mom a house Yeah That's amazing. I got our house. You bought our house in Arizona. Yeah, her house is yeah, it's your house Yeah, I paid the mortgage. Well, when she married Christmas. Here's the mortgage when she dies. It's your house again. Yeah, so you have two houses. I Have more Where in Marina del Rey area do you really? Yeah, but I want to talk about we're talking about it. What happened? You're under your right eye There's a cut. What is that from?

Let's talk about it. It's a sad story. Well, I'd love to hear it It's not exciting. It's not podcast fodder. Hey Oh a tarantula a tarantula We tried to have sex with your eye on the farm It's not ours. It was there before ours And we don't know. Oh, really? We didn't know there was a tarantula farm downstairs underneath the house I mean, what do what really happened? Okay, so, um, you know that we're fostering

Animals, yes a puppy. Yeah, her name was Sora and When Sora sees me she gets so excited that what did she do when she sees me? She pees pees coddling? Yes, she loves it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, she doesn't pee really when she sees the other ones only me Yeah, which means I'm a beast master. I pee sometimes when I see you. I know you do I get excited. Yeah. No, I like I get excited. I go bubbles here Yeah So, um, I went in she you know, Sora stays in Juliana's room and I would come so I visit every once in a while

Yeah, and I came in and she went wild and I laid down on my back and she did that to my face Oh, she caught at you. She bit it. Oh, she does her mouth. She was biting and then one of her teeth scraped it like that Yeah, yeah, and it was bleeding pretty bad But forgive her. What do you do? Did you discipline her? No? Yeah, I just gave her one right back Yeah, you bite her back. No, there's a star scar right on Sora's face like this. You bite them back. I didn't know with a nail So it's precise, but today, um, we did something very sad. We gave Sora a home So this week went to a house and there was a white couple apparently one of them works at Netflix And they're um, oh, oh, are you okay? What was that? I don't know something came up

Wait, so the white white folks and they took today on the lawn We showed up. Hey, Bob. You know what I mean to make it seem like they weren't serial killers Did they know who you were? I don't think so and um We gave it to so we gave the dog and then Rudy cried she started crying rude It hurt, huh? Yeah, what did you say? Did you say goodbye? Yeah, I gave her kisses

Oh, what did you say to her? Did you say something? Do you say I love you forever and always and we'll be reunited one day? No, I just said bye Sora and I love you Oh It's cute, but it's a little that's a little that's it, huh? Goodbye. I love you. I was telling her I go. I don't want to do this anymore Yeah, because giving away the dog is tough. Yeah, I don't want look at her. She's emotional now Yeah, I don't want to do this anymore because because it's you know We it's not only I think because because Kalila is like we're was we're helping a dog

You know, I mean, you know, we're taking you know in trouble. You're doing the right thing We're doing the right thing. Yeah, but I what I think it does though is Yeah, we're doing the right thing, but I think there's some scarring when it comes to the dog I think the dog goes. Hey, I love this house. Yeah, I love these Asians. Yeah I mean, they're feeding me nice clothing and and we're they're with me 20 They're feeding you nice clothing food. I mean I just woke up from a nap. I know I'm not fully there. It's okay. Oh, yeah, so what yeah, and you think it you think it's hurting the dog

That's interesting. It might and I think the dog kind of just walks around going. Oh, I'm in this new house, but Where's mom? Where's mom and dad? Yeah, where's mom and dad in the little one little one? Yeah, and um, Rudy I'm sorry that and I just think that it's uh, yeah, she's not and this is this is scarring for all of us Well, hey, let me put it like this. I think maybe it does something Better for the humans than it does for the dog The dog might be confused for a little while and they get its bearings again But like for Rudy, I think it's a good thing because then it teaches you lessons of life, right? What lessons? That things are gonna come and go in your life. Nothing lasts forever

That's gonna happen with relationships both friendships. You know, yeah, but usually when that happens It's like either um, like relationships usually when those and you're glad No, no, no, no, no, sometimes you just As you've gotten older something she will learn your friendship circle sort of changes, right? And over the years like people come and they go and you don't see people as much and yeah But death is the only thing that's I think equivalent to what we went through. No because you could still go take her back Steal it? Yeah Why wouldn't you just go steal it back? Yeah, yeah, if you really missed it, I would steal it back

Yeah, by the way, that'd be a great heist movie going back to get the dog that you gave away for adoption Yeah, that's hilarious. Yeah, it's a fun movie. That'd be really fun. Yeah to watch Rudy sneak back in and steal it You know where they live. Let's go get it. Yeah, but the dog would have to be in peril You mean you'd have to be sad and gross what they're going through Yeah, like they have to be in like in a well like in a buffalo like Buffalo Bill's dog Oh, man. You know what I mean? Yeah, like just on top of a you know what I mean? Well barking at a Scared fat lady remember the fact scared fat lady that's under you know in the well Yeah, you know, I mean and then she tricked her with the bone. So sad. That was a good trick though. It was a good trick

When she was doing that I was like in the theater go. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, get in there What is it? It was weird because you were rooting for her to hurt that dog In the movie, but the dog didn't do shit For some reason you were like wanted it. I don't know why I wanted it to happen Yeah, yeah, because I love dogs But in that specific it's like because it was Buffalo Bill's dog Right in silence in the lambs that you wanted it to get her but the dog didn't do anything wrong I know he was just being playful like

Like it's just being joyful. Yeah, but she's like no, I'm gonna take this You know pale or whatever stick a fucking chicken bone to it And then she did it jerk it down and it broke its leg. I think yeah. Yeah Yeah, yeah that little fuck that dog, but that dog didn't do shit that dog didn't do nothing Yeah, I think you can't do adoption anymore. I think that's gonna hurt Rudy too much. She's already scarred hurts me. I just don't cry You don't know how to cry at all I I I had to go, you know, you know, I told you that when my dad didn't cry Yeah, yeah, so I had to cry when I had to go to a therapy like I had to go to arizona

To an institution. I remember me to cry. Yeah, so it's like I don't really I cry like That disney movie. What was that disney movie about the dog moulin? the dog um A way will defo in it the way home or whatever What was it called the dog's name was norbit or something like taro taro taro taro taro is a taro Tarot is a fruit. Yeah, it's delicious Wait, was that the movie that was the dog movie taro. Yeah, I cried hard Really? Yeah, and there was a couple of instances in uh queen's gambit where I kind of teared up a little bit

It got me a little emotional togo togo togo togo togo togo was good By the way, one of my college buddies used to sell weed out of the drive-thru window at togos Yeah, yeah, that reminded me. Uh I cried so hard and I'll do it every single time at the first vignette of up, you know the vignette before up Oh, dude that I can't even watch that vignette. It makes me so emotional balling. Yeah, they should end the movie there Yeah, that was the best part. Yeah. Yeah, that was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen because whatever happens after that, right? He might his life might get a little that little fat gook. Was that little fat gook? Yeah was a fat gook A little fat chubby fucking they don't ever say what it was the kid. He used a little fat china fat. Let's

That's what he was little and he was like yeah constantly in the Boy Scout He was a he was a boy. He was a boy scout, right? There are no fat china's chinese china your fats. You're saying there's no fat chinese people in the in the Boy Scouts. No No, there's gotta be I've never seen any fat china china, you know Hey guys to keep on this Shut up. We're in a flow you were in a fucking flow dude. You got good reviews last We love fucking um Andreas last good reviews people I saw some tweets like saying oh, he was really funny. He said this one line

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Special offer for bad friends listeners get 10 off your first month at betterhelp.com slash bad friends Special offer. That's 10 off your first month At betterhelp.com slash bad friends bad friend. Andres. What's up, papa? Oh, we're just saying that uh, since you guys are in this holiday spirit, maybe it's time to do secret santa Oh secret santa. I didn't bring a gift. What do you mean? What? For a secret santa. I had to get put a we all brought a gift for secret santa What are you doing? We agreed to do secret santa. Didn't you bring a gift? No one told me about George. You never told me about secret santa

What do you mean? We picked names live on the air. I have proof Did you get one? Yeah. Yeah, what are you talking about you? We just picked the names. We just did it I never I never got a gift George. Thank you. I forgot what even name I got Andres. I got your gift. Oh awesome Come here. This is for Andres. What's under here? Where is it? Let me see it. This is the This is yours So you got a gift from me. I never saw you bring anything to the fucking car. No, but I um delivered it to george's house So that you won't see it

Wait a minute. Are you lying? I'm not. No, we all got gifts. Why didn't you who who's yours? I don't even remember. Bobby, who's yours? I swear to god, I don't remember. Bobby, who's yours? I swear to god, I don't remember. Well, I'm giving a gift to Andres Yeah And Rudy's got one for you. Yeah, and then George. Yeah, so who do you think yours is yours and what did you get me? I'm here at Christmas. You didn't get me a secret Santa gift. I forgot. I just totally forgot, totally forgot. I forgot. And then you get a gift? Yeah Before I open it, what is it? Open it. No, tell me what it is.

I know what it is. Tell me what it is. Because we all- I don't want to see it. Yeah, that's it. Tell me what it is. Chicken hot pies. Chicken pot pies? Chicken hot pies. Oh, you got it from, uh, Belly? Yeah. Congratulations. Yeah, that's really nice. Cool. You're so, you're so annoying. Oh my god, you got really upset. George, make sure the, are those frozen? No. No. No, it's still frozen. It's cold. All right, I'm sorry. I forgot. I forgot about, if I would have remembered, I would have gotten you something great. We pulled the names

literally like four days ago. I don't know shit. I don't know what's going on. Who did you pull? I think it was you. You know it was me. I don't remember, but I think it was you. George, you should have fucking reminded me. No, that's not his fault. We just pulled the names. No, George, George, you should remind me. Well, I didn't know you had an bedroom. If you had me, it would have been fine. No, no, no, no. Come here. Come in here for a second. Just, I'm sorry. Just back up for a second. Hold on. Just take it. Come in here for a second. Hey, uh, Andres, where's the video? Uh, let me send it to you.

You just stay right there. Send it to my email. Okay. You know, all right, that I'm forgetful about things, right? You know, you also knew, right? That you also knew, I know, but you also knew that I wouldn't forget. Yeah. Yeah. So the reason why you didn't tell me, because you wanted the drama that, you know, I mean, of me, it doesn't matter. You should just remind me whoever your person is. You should get the gift. You should have reminded me. But no one else needed a reminder. I don't know what, I don't know when my dude, I just remind you to get because I know when Christmas is on the 25th. I know that.

Right. So my point is, is this okay? My point is, is that no, I'm being real. Okay. Okay. Point is this. Okay. Um, I don't know. I forget about the little things that we do here. I was first, I was so enraged by the trial. Did we do, did we pull it before the trial? Just after. We right after, literally right after the trial. But I was still in my emotional distress over the trial, right? You were? Yeah. You were emotionally distressed from the trial that we did on you. Yeah. So my point is, is that you knew I wouldn't show up here with a fucking gift. You knew that this would cause some sort of drama between me and Andrew. And I know that it's my fault. I'm sorry. It's my fault. And I'm sorry. Thanks. All right. But I gave you

the $4 and you fucking flicked it and that's fucking rude. You really? $4? Yeah. Thank you, Andrew. This is a really nice gift. Yeah. You're welcome. Thank you, George. I really love it. I'm like heartbroken now. It was so... Well, everyone show their gift and show what they got. What did you get, Andres? I got a bunch of film books. Really nice. What did you get, Rudy? I got a key chain and this. That's all. What is that? It's Inesoke from a favorite series I watch. Inesoke? Yeah. What does Inesoke mean? I don't know, but it's his name. Inesoke. It's a pig person? It's a pig person? No, he wears a pig head like he chopped, he killed a pig and then he wears it. What? That's what she's into. And then George, what did you get? I got

my favorite Japanese notebooks and I don't know what this is. It's probably a pen from the context, but it's really hard to open. Are you going to love your pot pies? Yeah. I love pot pies. It's really thoughtful. Thank you. It is thoughtful. Yeah. And I'm happy you thought of me. Why didn't you remind me? I thought you knew because you were buying gifts. No, no, no. Were you online buying gifts? Yesterday. And so you didn't think about this show? This is just how crazy this is. Yeah. Yesterday, right? I didn't even get Kalayla anything. Who'd you buy gifts for? That's right. So yesterday, I wake up, I'm like, should I play? Let me talk this through. I wake up and I go, let me just, should I play Ground War on Wars? I'll just grab some coffee. Yeah. And then Kalayla

goes, what'd you get so-and-so for this other thing that we have to do next week for the family? Sure. I go, what's next week? She goes, it's Christmas. I go, it is? That's why I go, it is? Yes, you forgot. December, oh, fuck it is. Right. Then I'm thinking, what? I didn't get Kalayla nothing, right? So then I'm thinking, I got to get this guy that's on the, you know, that I fucking drew. I got to say, I don't want to say what it is. And then while I was doing that, I go, I might as well just buy a bunch of shit for Kalayla right now. Right. So the guy, but the guy who you drew, the guy's name that you drew, do you remember drawing my name out of the thing for our show? Because Kalayla reminded me, I would have completely forgotten about it.

But you did, but you do remember the moment you drew his name? No, I don't. I don't even know. I go, who's my guy? You told me it was the whole show. Do you remember the moment you drew my name out of ours? I don't remember. Let's take a look. Fuck man. Yeah, we'll do Secret Santa. Let's do this. Yeah. Well, here, we're doing Secret Santa this year. Huh. Bobby's first. Who'd you pull? Let's look at Bobby's eyes. Don't tell anybody. Obviously. Literally looks right at me twice, three times, four times, five times. Why? That's it. That's how you know it's good luck. Look at how many, did you see how many times Bobby looks me in the face? Look at this. Let's watch it again. Right as Bobby pulls it. Look at this.

Yeah, we'll do Secret Santa. Let's do this. We'll do Secret Santa. Here, we're doing Secret Santa this year. Right here, right now. Okay, look at Bobby's eyes. Ready? One, don't tell anybody. Two, three, four, five, six. Then you know that. Put it in your mouth. You're a self-buddy. Why? That's it. That's how you know it's good luck. In my culture, we put in Red Bull. Put in Red Bull. Red Bill? So here's the deal. I remember putting it in the Red Bull. You do. So Bobby, we knew that you were never going to remember. Thank you. So every name inside of the cup had my name on it. So on purpose, we devised this plan. Are you being real? Yeah. Every name inside of it. Let me finish. Every name inside of there had Andrew written

on it because we knew Bobby's never going to remember. In fact, I said to George, I said to George, I said to George, George, what if he remembers? And George goes, oh, he won't remember. And sure enough, you didn't remember. I didn't remember. So not only, none of us, those gifts are all arranged by George. Thank you, George. You did a great job. You never got Chicken Pop Pie. No, she didn't. Yeah. George got it. No, when you made up that you were shipped to George, did you make that up on the spot? Yeah, it was good. That was a very good improv. She really did kill it. You did very well. That's how well we knew you weren't going to get me a gift. So we put George, put my name on everyone's paper. It's so good. It was really

worth it. We knew it. It did work. I was feeling pretty bad and you should have seen what you were going to get. What was I going to get? No, because when I fuck up like that, I double down. Yeah. So you would have gotten something great. I don't need anything from you. Just your love. That was really a good trick. Oh, God, I was so scared. So that's why George didn't remind me, because it was that serious, George would have reminded me. 100%. He knew. George knows better to remind you when real life happens. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, good. Thank God. Well, fuck you. I want to show you one thing, by the way. There's a famous, this guy, Alex Tonello, this guy pointed this out to me. You know, Run DMC's Christmas and Hollis Queens?

Do you know that song? Christmas and Hollis Queens? You never heard that song? Well, we can't play it because we'll get sued. But I want to show you something. You're in this music video. I get what you're saying, because there's a little photo that says- You've seen this? Bobby Lee on it. I've been getting tweets about it for the last 10 years. It's insane. I've never seen this. Look at that. There's Bobby Lee. Just because my name shows up. But it said you were nice. That's you. Yeah. Bobby Lee, Hong Kong. Nice. Naughty or nice. Yeah. Bobby Lee, Hong Kong. Yeah, but nice. Yeah, but if I looked that cute, I would have been a comedian.

That kid, obviously, by the way. He's cute. That kid, so because that says Bobby Lee, Hong Kong. Yeah. Does that kid look like he's from Hong Kong? He could be from Hong Kong, yeah. I don't know. Let me see another frame of it real fast. He looks like a Hong Kong kid? Who fucking- Dude, listen to me. You- Everybody knows what a Hong Kong kid looks like. No, no. What I'm on- You just talked about him before. Jules, if you're on a plane. Yeah. You sit by an Asian person. Do you immediately know where they're fucking from? No. Exactly. It's very difficult.

Really? Yeah. You can't tell? I can't- I can't see a Japanese guy. Sometimes Japanese I can get. But sometimes I'm wrong. I go, hey, Japanese. They go, oh, come on, come on here. And then you're like, oh, fuck, my bad. Well, maybe we should have you guys start to wear something to identify. No, it doesn't- The reason why we shouldn't do that, because it doesn't matter. It does. Where we're from. Well, we want to know which ones are the good ones and the bad ones. There is no good- Every place has good ones and bad ones.

I don't know. Yeah, dude. I think some are bad and some are good. Japanese good, Korean bad. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. There's a lot of great- Like, I just saw something right now about you fucking South Koreans. What they do is they go to this river by the DMZ, the line. By the TMZ? The DMZ. The line. The demilitarized zone. Exactly. And what they do is they either put rice, check this out. I'm not kidding. No, I know what you said. Check this out. Check this out. They put rice inside, like, bottled water. They take the water out. And then little messages, like money, or they'll put, like, your little USB, like, memory chips in there so that people can-

See, because they can see news and stuff like that. Yeah, and they put it in the river so that it drifts and maybe lands on the other side, or they'll take balloons and they'll put different things, you know what I mean, like messages and stuff, and they'll float it over the thing so that the North Koreans can get some stuff. That's incredible. Right. But then the South Koreans just illegalized it. Why? Because they were like- Because this is what happened was they were- They're afraid of a war. No, South Koreans were like drawing pictures of, like, Kim Jong-un, like, as a- like a fat, crazy monster.

That's what I'm saying. They're afraid of a war. Right. And so that- And then I guess they're getting annoyed by it, because now all these North Koreans are getting, like, you know what I mean, these pictures of Kim Jong-un, like, eating fucking, you know what I mean, white people and babies and stuff, you know what I mean? So they're like, it's completely illegal, but they've been doing it for years. Well, no. So- So those are good people? Of course. I know that there's many go- I'm making a joke. That is incredible that they would do that. Yeah. Would you give a fuck?

Okay. Let me tell you something. We live in Los Angeles, right? Let's just say, right outside of LA, people had to be enslaved, basically. You would feel terrible for them, knowing that they're right next to you and they have to be enslaved without- without any chance of really getting out or having a future. But okay, let's- If they were right next to you, you'd feel it more. I- I don't know, because, um, let's suppose it's Mexico. Okay, let's just say- It's a- Mexico was a authoritarian, you know, country-

Dictatorship. Dictatorship. Yeah. And they were enslaved and a lot of bad shit was going on, and they- they had no, um, means for, um, to get any kind of news, you know, and, um, they're getting fed this propaganda from their own country. Sure. And, um, I don't know if we would go down to, you know, the border and put up balloons and giving them- I think citizens would.

You think so? I think people have good hearts. I think people really care. I would- I would do it, too. What's the nicest thing you've done this year? How about that? Have you done something nice? Well, yeah, but it's not stuff that you would think it was nice. Well, tell me what you think is nice. Well, there's this comic that I don't really like that much, and I had heard that in the pandemic, he was struggling.

Yeah. So I Venmo'd him just out of the blue, $500. It's very nice. Why would I not think that's very nice? Because I think- when I think about it, maybe it was a power play on my part. Yeah, you're gonna use it against him. Well, maybe it's just something to use against him or to show him, hey, I know, you know what I mean, we're frenemies, right? But you're not really enemies.

Yeah, but we're not like- like, if he called me, he goes- I think you're inflating it. You think so? I think you're making it out to be a thing that it's not. The fact that you even did that to him shows how good of a heart you have, that you really do care. I did that to her, like, maybe four or five comics. That's what I'm saying. You really care. That's- I don't like comics or friends of mine-

Struggling. Struggling. Especially talented people. It- it, you know, it sucks. See, that's what I'm saying. So you do care. I guess. That's a really nice thing. Yeah. DoorDash! Oh, Andrew, I would have been dead without DoorDash.

Me too. Especially during this pandemic. It's helped me out so much. I get all my foods from DoorDash. I get a lot of deliveries through DoorDash. It's very convenient. You want Chinese, you want pizza? They got it, baby! What do you like ordering through DoorDash, Bob? I like Panda Express. I like the good stuff.

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and enter the code BADFRIENDS. That's $5 off and zero delivery fees on your first order when you download the DoorDash app in the App Store. Enter the code BADFRIENDS. Don't forget, that's code BADFRIENDS for $5 off your first order with DoorDash. Policy genius. Hey, the holiday season sure knows how to lighten your wallet. Many families, December is one of the most expensive months of the year.

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Did you get a good deal? Because a lot of people say- A really good deal. I got the best deal that you can imagine. Well, because that's Bobby Lee. And people now, our fans, can take advantage of this. They've got a five-star rating over 1,600 reviews on TrustPilot and Google. If you're feeling the pinch during the holiday season,

find out how much more you could save on home and auto insurance. You don't just have to be a homeowner at PolicyGenius.com. They've saved their home and auto insurance customers an average of 1,000 a year by reshopping PolicyGenius. When it comes to insurance, it's nice to get it right. I adopted three teenagers for the holidays. I adopted three teenagers. Usually it's a family, but we did teenagers this year.

It's just gross that you would say it out loud. Sometimes when you do a good deed, you just keep it to yourself. No. Because when you announce it- It felt really good. I know. But when you announced it- You announced giving someone $500.

You asked me. Okay. Okay. You never ask me questions. My point is- I got to fill it in myself. When you go, why? No, just hear yourself talking. And I gave each of them 10 grand.

See, that's so gross. I'm kidding. It was 25. No, did you really adopt three teenagers or is it a joke? No, we do. Every year, we usually do families. Are they- What are they?

Like, what color are they? Yeah. They don't tell you. So you don't know their names? Mario Lopez. No, no. You don't know their names or what they look like? No, because they don't want to create this weird-

They tell you their name and they tell you the things they need and then they tell you- Yeah, but how do you know it's going to them? That's my problem. Because it's a community program that we've worked with in the past. Yeah, but still, in the past, they probably never told you who they were. What if-

What if- You mean saying what if these people steal from- Yeah, maybe. I always think that. How do I know that all my money- Is it going to go to them? Is going to go to these families. Well, it's gifts.

It's gifts. It's not physical cash. It's gifts, it's not physical cash, it's gifts. Can't they take the gifts and then sell that shit on Etsy? Sure, but if they did that, then they're the ones that are going to burn, not me. You know? Like, I did the right thing.

Like, I did the right thing. What do you want me to do? Right. You can only do so much. When you- It's like saying when somebody gives a dollar to a homeless person and they're like, yeah, I'm spending that drag. It's like, what do you care?

It's over. You did the right thing. Yeah, yeah. The rest is out of your control. Right. But you don't piss me off today. I read the news that said Bezos, his wife, Mackenzie Bezos. Yeah.

She gave away $4.4 billion and then people were tweeting like, yeah, but she made $26 billion during the pandemic. Yeah. But it's like, yeah, but what do you want her to- What's- When is enough enough? Like, what? You're mad that she gave some money? What if she gave zero?

You wouldn't have said anything. Some people don't say give any. That's not my point. Like, what do you want her to do? Okay, if you had $4.4 billion. If you had $20 billion, what would you do? I'd probably- I'd invest as much as I could to know that my kids, kids, kids would be set up forever.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I would tell my business manager, I go, how much do I need to put away until every one of my family, all my uncles and aunts and cousins and bruh, and everybody, everyone in my family, extended family? Yeah. Are they good? Yes?

Okay. With the rest of it, I'm going to have fun and I'm going to give some of it away. How much? $20 billion? I'd give away a million. Yeah, yeah. I don't know. I don't really know.

Maybe I'd probably give away $20 billion. I'd give away $1 billion. What about if you spend the money for yourself, but you let unfortunate people- Come party with me? Yeah, come, and you come along. Like I rented G5 jet and I put a bunch of homeless guys on it? Yeah, something like that, right? Yeah.

I got a Playboy boat with a bunch of naked ladies, right? Homeless, come on on. We'll give them a shower, scrub them down, right? Yeah. And get a nut off. Here's some cocaine or whatever, you know what I mean? And then when we're done, when we get back to LA- Go back to your fucking-

Get to the hut. Yeah. You get right to the tent. The dungeon, yeah. No, I don't know. How much would you- Would you give away a bunch of money if you got a bunch? If you got that-

If you- Okay, look, if you got like Rogan's deal, if you got $100 million tomorrow, would you give any way to charity? Yeah, that silence says everything. I'm thinking. I know, but to think about it is pretty heavy. No, because I don't want to give you a lie. I want to give you an honest answer.

Respect. Respect it. I respect that. So give me a second. I'll go to Rudy right now. Rudy, would you give away any money if you got $100 million? Yeah. How much?

50? 50 million. Dollars. You'd give half of what you made? Wow. That's really generous. $50 million you'd give away? Like you're $5 million.

Of $100 million? Yeah. Okay. No judgment. Don't judge me. No judgment. I have shit to do. I know.

Probably $20 million. That seems fair. Yeah. $20 million is good. 20 percent. Yeah. It seems fair. It seems good.

Okay. But where would you give it to? No, I would probably do... You know what breaks my heart is when I see young children get cancer. It's disgusting. I hate it. It's disgusting. So probably something when it comes to that.

Like children's hospital or hope and all that stuff. Something like that. Yeah. And then I would probably go to a... An island or a place where these brown people come from. Yeah. And I would go... I would really would because...

And I would probably set up two things. You know... Hospital. No, not a hospital. Right. Because you have a lot of stray dogs. Yeah, we talked about this. So I would do like a...

A dog shelter. A ranch. Or stray dogs to just live on. Right on. And then we could feed them and Jules can take care of it. I'll pay her to do it. Would you do that? Yeah.

If I paid you good money, go this is your ranch. Take care of these dogs. Yeah. And then I would probably do something for like... You know what? You know what I feel bad? Dwarves.

Little people? Yeah. But I want them to get the little leg extensions. We have Fred. Like Brad Williams is a friend. He doesn't want it. I've asked him. He doesn't want legs?

No, I go... You want to do the leg extension? He goes, I'm fine, buddy. You know what I mean? So... How do you... What do you mean leg extension? Well, in China what they do is they operate.

They take the bone. Shut up. That's what they do. They build them legs? No. See the bone, the leg bone? Yeah. I don't know which one.

They cut it. Yeah. And they leave a space. And the bone grows. Whoa. Right? And it takes like a year. So they can't walk for a year.

So wheelchair. Yeah, but you can gain like five inches. Really? Yeah. Why don't they just take the legs out and put fake legs in? People want their legs, man. People do want their legs.

They like to wiggle their toes. Yeah, I guess. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've never heard of leg extensions. But then their arms are still short. What do you do with the arms? They look weird. Okay, so you can...

Yeah, yeah. So just really tall... They look worse almost. They're like T-Rexes. But they know what they're going to be for Halloween. That's great. That's true. No, but they do do...

Look it up. Leg extension? Yeah, Chinese leg extensions. Okay, I'll look it up right now. Surgery. Little person leg extension. Little person leg lengthening. Yes.

Limb lengthening is meant to help little people born with dwarfism. The most common form is achondriplasia, a genetic condition afflicting one in 10,000 newborns. People with achondriplasia have average size heads, torsos, but abnormally short. The operation just isn't about the physical though. That's crazy.

So this is a real thing. Dwarves divided over limb lengthening. God, is that a great headline? Yeah. Say that 10 times. Dwarves divided over limb lengthening. Dwarves divided over limb lengthening. Dwarves divided over limb lengthening.

That's going to be the name of my next album. Dwarves divided over limb lengthening. Yeah. That's one... Wait, should we call... Let's call Brad and see if he would do it. Should we call him? I think that's insulting.

I know, but we're talking about... It's like somebody calling me going, hey, you want to get your eyes around? Do you though? No. Why? I'd do it for you. I don't want it. If I paid for it?

Would you get your eyes done? I'm fine with that. Yeah, your eyes are pretty round. Yeah. Yeah, you know what I'm trying to say. No, she has nice eyes. She has nice eyes. Mine aren't nice?

They're okay. They're okay. They're fine. They're good. They look like a little cave I want to hide out in. Okay, it looks good. Yeah, it looks mysterious. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, that's good. Let's call Brad, but you have to tell him

because you're the one that came up with this. Yeah, but I can't confront him about it. You have to say it first. I'll say it, but he's going to be... I'll do it. I'll give a fuck. You should. I love Brad. Well, let me say hi first because he'll, you know...

Can you hear me? Sure. This? Yeah. What's up, man? Hey, baby boy, you're on the podcast. You're on Bad Friends. I just want to give you a heads up.

And Bobby wants to ask you something. Okay? All right. Okay. That's so funny. Well, because I know Bobby, if you have a question, it's not going to be like, hey, I need a new recipe for something.

Yeah, but I just wanted to call you and say, happy holidays. I know your people love it. Are you guys working a lot? Yes. You guys working a lot? Bobby is bad. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Bobby, tell him what you taught me. Well, okay. Well, so, if... Hi, you good? How's the kid? The kid is great, Bobby. How much do you need? I don't need money.

I don't need money. No, because we're talking about like, you know how, you're a... Are you a dwarf? You... We've known him for years. I don't know. I don't know what that...

I don't know what that... He doesn't understand terminology. I don't understand terminology. You know he's not the smartest man. He just... He doesn't understand terminology, so he needs to be informed. Ah, I mean, yeah, I was going to say,

Bobby, have you not seen five minutes of my act? I'm pretty sure I covered it. I like having fun. I like to party. I don't know about you, but when I party, I like to drink. No, and one of the main reasons I like to drink is because I never have to pay for it, ever.

Because everyone wants to know what happens when a dwarf gets drunk. Right now, you're thinking like, I wonder what happens. I would really like to know that. Like, and I know... It's like me and hot chicks, me and hot chicks have that thing in common

where we walk into the club and everyone just looks at us and goes, we're getting that fucked up tonight. I'm sorry to burst your bubble, but I have tall friends, okay? It's not like the midgets get together every Sunday under the tree stump and watch football.

I ran track in the Special Olympics. Now, if you have never seen a midget run, holy shit, you don't know what you're missing out on. You want to know what happens when a six-foot-two guy gives a four-foot guy a chest bump? Four-foot guy gets a dick in the face. That's what happens. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He goes over it. Yeah. But because when I see you, I don't see you as anything, you know, I see you as just a comic, my friend. Right. I don't treat you different. We all love each other.

We're brothers. We're brothers. I treat you differently, Brad, and you know that. I look down on you and you know it. Absolutely. How do you feel about... Let's get to the point. How do you feel about, you know,

certain dwarves getting this leg-lengthening operation, you know, where they separate the bone and the bone grows in? Oh, God, no. Yeah, I'm not a fan of that. It's a surgery that takes, like, over a year and a half to get done. You separate your bone by millimetres a day

and then overnight it grows back in. And the thing is, is even when you do it, and it's all done, you still look like a dwarf, but just that went into, like, a tappy stretching machine. That's what we said. Yeah, that's what we said. That's what we said. It's just you're just a taller dwarf.

Yeah. No, well, have you guys heard that now there's actually an injection that you can give to dwarf children? What do you mean? What do you mean? It's in phase three of trials right now. It's a shot and you give it to them

and then the bad parts of dwarfism kind of go away. What? Wow. Like, what do you mean? Wait, wait, wait. What do you mean? Like, they can, like they can... Like the funny head?

The wobbly funny head I like. Brad, Brad, what does that mean? What does that even mean? You give it to the kid and it gets rid of what? Like, like, or internal stuff, like organ stuff? They tend to grow more. And some of the health complications that are associated with dwarfism are lessened.

Wow. Wow. Holy shit. Yeah. As a, would you have taken that as a kid? No, no. I don't want to have to write a new hour. You're the best.

I love you, Brad. Yeah, because, you know, for me, you know, when I, you know, I used to think to myself, even just being Korean and weird-looking, I always thought I was Korean and weird-looking. And I would go to an all-white high school. And I used to think, I wish I was, you know, there was times where I would pray.

I wish I was just a white guy, a regular looking white guy, you know what I mean? But, you know, as you, as you grow in your own skin and you develop a personality and you have these, you know, you have your own thoughts and ideas about things. And then, you know, your self-esteem builds, you look in the mirror one day and you go, you know, I'm just perfect the way I am.

You know, I would not change. Not perfect, but yeah. No, I think that I'm perfect. Yeah. Okay. Well, you, I'm not. No, no, no. Because you're a racist.

I'm a bigot. Not a racist. And Brad Williams is perfect the way he is. He is. I know, look, I'm going to agree with you. You said a great thing. It's true. When I was a kid, red hair, like, it was so repulsive to me.

It was like the most annoying thing. And I shaved my head. I just wanted to not have it anymore. Yeah. And now that I'm older, I look in the mirror and I still, I still wish I had normal hair, but it's okay. No, you're right. You grow, you grow into it.

Andrew, I'd much rather be a dwarf than a redhead. Are there any redheaded dwarfs? Oh, God, I hope not. You guys, there's no way they live past, they got to get taken care of. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A redheaded dwarf? Yeah.

We have to look one up and we have to get one on this show. Now, Brad, you know, when you take the injections, does that get, does that take away your mythological powers? Yeah, unfortunately. By the way, we have one, look at this. Oh my God, we have one. I found a redheaded comedian dwarf. I used to open for her, you know that, right?

Tannily Davis? Yeah, dude. Tannily Davis. Yeah, she's a store girl. Wait a minute. Yeah. So all this time you guys have known a redheaded dwarf and didn't, this is crazy.

Yeah, but you know what? The worst. You didn't want to hook me up? No. Huh? No, no. She's very funny, Brad, but I used to have to open for her. She used to, I don't know if she is, but she was married

to like a six foot eight, like giant guy. Of course. Right? And you used to like carrying around like a pocket pussy. Right? So one time like he wasn't around and she's like, man, you know what I mean? Let's open for me at this casino.

Right. So then I had to like, like we, our hotel room was on like the third floor and there was like no elevator. So I had to carry her up. Fuck, she was heavy, bro. Really? Oh my God, dwarves are heavy. Well, they're, well.

We're, we're, we're a very dense people. Yeah, dense. Brad is bottom heavy because this kid's a tripod. Do you know about his kid? No kid. I'm not going to get into it, but do you know about Brad? His dick? Seriously, do you know?

Pretty big. No. Little? No, not, no. Pretty big is not. Large. Besides this microphone, like length and girth. Your dick is that big, Brad?

Yes. I can't see the microphone. I don't know what you have. You know what the side these, you don't know how big these shores are. Look at this. This is it. It's this.

Is your dick big though, Brad? Yep. No, it, it, it just looks big on me. No, it's big. Let me ask you this. Let me, let me. Do you think your dick is bigger than mine? Oh, definitely bigger than mine.

Yeah. It's not. Fuck you. Let me tell you how I knew, how I knew. Brad and I went golfing one time and he went to go take a pee because when you're golfing, you, there's no bathrooms. You have to just piss outside. And he pissed outside and we had, had a couple of drinks

and he came back and he was a little, little sloppy. And I said, oh Brad, you got pissed. You, he shook, you know, when you shake and he shook and he got pissed on his pants and I'm not exaggerating. The piss shake is about this far out from where it should have been. Yeah. This far out. It was like a foot away from where normal piss would be.

And I was like, Jesus, how do you pee down there? When you golfed with Brad, it was the golf course, did they have a windmill? Brad, go ahead and answer. No, we play big boy golf. Big boy golf. You know what, that joke, that joke is okay. Yeah, it's fine.

That joke okay? Yeah. I mean, it didn't do well, but I know. I would like to set up right now because there's nothing but love here and Brad knows. I love you so much, Brad. You know that. And obviously for the audience, it's all jokes.

This is our friend. I do want to set up a match between you and Brad to have a physical altercation of some kind, because I cannot wait to watch him beat you. No, no, no. First of all, I would bet my bank account, bank account. I was, dude, you know I was on the wrestling team, right? I would love to watch you fight, Brad.

Boxing? Yeah, you got to fight him. I would kick his ass. Okay, Brad, let's set it up. I would kick, I wouldn't want to, Brad. I would kick the living shit out of you, man. You're done, dude. No, no, no, no, no.

Andrew, here's the deal, because Bobby just said that he was on the wrestling team, right? Yeah. I was also on the wrestling team in college. Let's go. Let's set it up. So we, so we got to do this. So we got to do this Nate, Nate Robinson, Jake Paul style.

We will break Paul's pay-per-view record. And it'll be Bobby Lee, again, Brad Williams, in the ball pit of a Chuck E.G.'s. Let's do it. Here's what's going to happen, though. We're going to, Brad's going to show up in a trench coat, and he's going to be on my shoulders, and we're going to beat the shit out of you.

Brad, we love you very much. We love you, Brad. Thanks for picking up. Mary, Mary Holidays, baby boy. I love you. I'll talk to you soon. All right, brother. Bye.

Love you guys. Thanks. What are you doing? What are you doing? Oh, we've got, he, yeah. Andres got off last time on doing trivia. Yeah. Where's the fucking, where's your costume?

Oh, it was. So we've got some trivia. Andres wants us to do trivia. Yeah. And he's got some trivia lined up like he did last time. But I answer questions, and then I press the buzzer. We're going to hit the buzzer, because last time the problem was there was no judgment

over who buzzed, who could buzz in first. Okay. So now this is, everyone's got a buzzer. But what's, if I get an answer wrong, what happens? You get hit. Okay. We've got some trivia. So Andres, why don't you set up the rules,

set up the Christmas trivia. I'm excited about it. Okay, so. Let's do it. The person who gets five questions right wins. Five. The person who hits the buzzer first will answer the question. You guys cannot go over, like in the prices right this time.

So if you go over the number. That's what it should have been. You go over, it doesn't count, just like the price is right. And if you guys fight the judge, you lose that point. Okay, go ahead. Oh, so these are just numbers. What? Are these questions just all involving numbers?

No, he's just saying, he's setting it up, setting up the rules in case there is a numbered question. All right, go ahead. Because you yelled about it last time. Right. Right. Okay. Is it, there's an ABC, are they multiple choice?

No. Just listen up. No multiple choices here. All right. Who's going to pay attention to the buzzers? I will. Okay. In case there is like an arbitration, I'll have a set of eyes here

with George called in it. Oh, by the way. And if you buzz in prematurely before the question is done, you can't answer. Yeah, correct. You have to wait till the question is done being read. All right. So first question.

In the song, Frosty the Snowman, what made Frosty come to life? All right, Andrew. The hat and the scarf. When she put on, she put on the hat and the nose and the eyes and the scarf and that made him come to life. An all silk hat. Correct. Yeah, baby.

Boom. All right. One for one. Why people question this? You don't know Frosty the Snowman? It's all Christmas. It's all Christmas. Yes.

This is the Christmas episode. What the fuck do you think this is? Jesus Christ. I'm going to lose. Okay. Who spies on kids and reports back to Santa? Who spies on kids? Yeah.

Who spies on kids? Yeah. The elves? The elf on the shelf. We'll give it to you. One, one, zero. Yeah, she does get it. She said elf.

It's part of the, you know what I mean? What Christmas decoration was originally made from strands of silver? I got it. Garland? The star on the top. Now, strands of silver. Rudy?

The balls. The balls? No. Tinsel. You mean the ornaments? Tinsel. Tinsel. It sounds like a tinsel.

Yeah, yeah. Right. Yeah, we're dumb. Who played George Bailey in the Christmas classic It's a Wonderful Life? The fuck, what's his name? Bobby? No, that was me.

That was you. Oh, yeah. He doesn't even. What's his name? It's the guy that sounds like that. Jimmy, his name is... Uh, uh, time, time. Anyone else?

What's his last name? Jim, Jimmy. Oh, come on, guys. Well, I know. We all know who it is. I just, I couldn't get it out. Jimmy Stewart. Damn it.

Jimmy Stewart, but I knew that one. But I had everything. Doesn't the voice count for like a half as a count? No, it doesn't count. Do you have a store? Jimmy Stewart. Damn it. What Christmas beverage is also known as milk punch? Damn it.

Bobby? Eggnog. Yep. Fuck. Okay. One, one, one. One of Santa's reindeer shares a name with a famous symbol of Valentine's Day.

Which reindeer is that? Yes. Cupid. Yep. Correct. Two points. You're the, you're a poor loser and it's ugly. Dude, you're the poorest winner.

You're the poorest winner. When you win, you rub it in people's face. It's disgusting. You're the worst. It's disgusting. See, when you get gifts, get gifts, you throw it in people's face. Three dollars.

That's fucking, it doesn't matter. It's with the heart. No, it's not. Yes, it's the heart. You thought not about it at all. Shut up. Go ahead, George. Er, Andres.

What's so this Asian country both the longest holiday season starting with decorations and carols as early as September and celebrations that last sometimes until January. I was first. Rudy? I was first. I think Rudy was. Rudy was first.

He's looking. Yeah. Philippines. Correct. I swear to God, I was first. It's only appropriate though. I swear to God, I was first. He's Filipino.

Look at the back of the thing. Okay, we'll do replay. We'll do a replay. Okay. Two, two, one. What Christmas theme ballet premier in St. Petersburg, Russia in 1892? We're out. No, I got it.

We both did it before the questions over. We both. No, we, no. I'm doing it. He didn't finish the question. Who cares? I already know the answer. We both did.

You can't answer when he's not done. You can't do it. She's the only one that can try. I don't know. Well, then it's. Now that I get to do it, he doesn't know I get to do it, right? No. Yes, yes, yes.

Nutcracker. That's insane. We said the question doesn't count if we, if we buzz in. No, if she misses it, then I can fucking buzz because she missed it. And I just caught it. The nutcracker. Two, two, two. Go fuck yourself.

See, you're the shittiest. You're the shittiest of all time. I died. I'm not even winning. Yeah, I know, but you're a brat. You're a little fucking fat brat. See how angry you get for no fucking reason, dude. No, because you said fuck you to me.

You need therapy. Did you say fuck you? Fuck you. Go ahead, Andres, because of this bad behavior, you both get one point taken away from you, so it's two for Rudy, one, one. I hope you like what you did. You did that. No, you did.

You could have let go of the first fuck. You said F you to me. You could have let that go. You didn't have to say it. Idiot. That's a warning. Okay, so. We're gonna lose this fucking one.

I know. What's the best Christmas candy? Bobby? No, it was me. Candy Canes. Now. What's the best Christmas? According to who?

Yeah. Bobby? Candy corn. It's Halloween. I know Halloween. Rudy? I don't know. God, if she gets it.

I'm gonna be so pissed off. She doesn't even know. Snickers. Snickers. Yeah, it's Snickers. It's a Snickers, correct. One point for Rudy. So annoying.

That's not it. No, I'm sure it is. Is it really? It is Snickers. They have it written down. Okay, in Charles Dickens' Christmas Carol, what would Mr. Scrooge's first name? Okay, Andrew?

Ebenezer. Correct. Wait, is it 3-2-1? Correct. What traditional Christmas decoration is actually a parasitic plant? I got it. You didn't make any noise.

Yeah, I did. Yours didn't make any noise. Yes, Bobby got it first, but he didn't make any noise, but I saw it. So I'm the first. Go ahead. Yeah.

This'll tell. Correct. 3-2-2. Which fairy tale inspired the first Gingerbread houses? Andrew? Hansel and Gretel. Correct.

Fuck yes. 3-3-2. I'm gonna lose. I don't know much about Christmas. What animated 2004 film is about a train that carries kids to the North Pole on Christmas Eve? Andrew? The Polar Express.

Correct. What is it now? 3-4-2. Did you know that answer? Yeah, but I forgot the name. Step it up. What's the most fun Christmas tradition? Yes.

Opening presents. Incorrect. Rudy? Caroling. Correct. Little bitch. Just as long as she wins, I'm happy. That's what he's doing.

Yeah. That's all I care. 4-4-2. Where was Baby Jesus born? I got it. Rudy? I got it. Jerusalem?

No. Bethlehem. Correct. He was it next? Yes, I was. Look at my thing. Yes, I was next. He was next.

I was next. Bethlehem. Oh, Jesus. Jerusalem? I don't know. Jerusalem. It's not wrong. It's not right.

It's not right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Close enough. Jerusalem. Is he at more? I do. Let's do another one. I won, but let's do another one.

No, no, you didn't win. It's not over. Yeah, I won 5. Let's do best of 10. Who was the star of the Christmas movie Jingle All the Way? Okay. Andrew? Tim Allen.

Ain't correct. What the fuck is a jingle all the way? It's a movie. I know. Tim Allen was the Santa Claus. It was Arnold Schwarzenegger. Arnold Schwarzenegger. I remember that.

What's wrong with me? Which food do you leave for Santa? Go ahead, Rudy. Rudy? Cookies and milk. Correct. Correct. He loves when she gets it right. Correct.

He does his little Spanish. Correcto. Correcto. He doesn't do it for us. As the clock chimes midnight in the New Year's, a Spanish tradition involves eating 12 of what? One for each time. No, can't.

Rudy? Go ahead. Great. Correcto. Yeah. Don't stop. Stop. Fuck this game.

Hey, I'm out. Why? I don't know anything. In the movie Elf. It's not in my, it's not. In the movie Elf. You know this movie with Will Ferrell. I never saw it.

Peter Dinklage, he's in it. Peter Dinklage. Peter Dinklage. You know, he got leg lengthening. Really? Yeah. Which country started a tradition of putting up a Christmas tree? Yes.

I'm going to say Canada. Nope. Bobby? Germany. Correct. Germany. Look at that. Is that Germany?

Yeah, it is. There's no way it's Germany. It is Germany. Is it really Germany? It is. They do have a lot of, they do have a lot of like German terms in Christmas. Santa Claus.

You could use any word and put a German accent to it. It doesn't sound like. Misseldow. No, but they did. But like Santa Clausia, that was like a big, I think it was a German thing. It is a German thing. It is, right?

It is, isn't it? Yes. What is the most popular meal for Christmas in Japan? Yes. Noodles? No. Bobby? Chicken pot pie.

No. Sushi? No. KFC fried chicken. I knew that. They love KFC over there. Have you never, you know, know about this? There's more KFC franchises there than anywhere else in the world.

Japanese love KFC. Yeah, we turn into them in the fried chicken in Hiroshima. All right. Next question. Okay. Since you guys know a lot about, uh, presidents, which president established Christmas as a national holiday? Yes.

Teddy Roosevelt. No. Yes. Eisenhower. No. Is it still Lincoln? No. It's, uh, Ulysses S. Grant.

How many points does a snowflake traditionally have? Andrew? Seven. No. Eight. No. Six. Six.

Six. Rudy, Rudy's catching up. Shut up. No, but don't shut up, but keep reading. What being Crosby's son is the best-selling single ever? Bobby? White Christmas. Correct.

That's good. What Christmas movie sequel includes a cameo by Donald Trump? I know. What is it? A Tom Alone. Yes. A Tom Lost in New York. Donald Trump is in Lost in New York all alone.

Correct. Yeah. And he kisses Macaulay Culkin on the mouth when he says goodbye. He goes, I've got a girl, Merry Christmas. Really? Yeah, he kisses him. What words follow Silent Night in the sun? Yes.

Holy night. Correct. I'm running away with this. Miracle on 34th Street. What a movie. Is based on what real life department store? Yes. Macy's.

Correct. Okay, it looks like only one person here enjoys Christmas. I love it. Okay. I try, Rudy. He tried so hard to sabotage us. He took away points from us and everything. The Spaniard.

You can never trust a Spaniard, dude. Honestly. It's just you're just embedded in like white Midwest ritualistic things like fucking Christmas. I was never exposed to that. We didn't have a Christmas tree. Everything that I learned is through just like glimpses of media, you know? Same thing. What do you mean?

You guys had the Christmas tree and you guys- You never had a Christmas tree, your whole childhood? No. You guys had- Did you have a Christmas tree when you were a kid? Yeah, I did. Okay, all right. So she's-

So what I'm saying, I know my point though is that it's just completely unfair because it's a tradition that I didn't grow up with. Well, let's do a tradition that you grew up with that I didn't then. There is no tradition. Alcoholism. I did grow up with that oddly enough. I know you did. Wait a minute.

How old were you when you guys finally got a tree? I think we got one, but it was never decorated and it stayed in our living room for like a year and a half because no one would ever- So, and then my mom used to put like- It was like a real tree. Yeah. And then my mom used to hang clothes on the like the barren branches. To dry?

Yeah, so it became like- A drying rack? A drying rack. And for like a year and a half, it was just sitting there, you know what I mean, in the living room with like socks and shit drying on it. How long did you have the Christmas tree up for? For a couple years. And then we're like, after that, we find-

My dad finally goes, oh, fuck it. I'm gonna take it down. He chopped it down. What? Yeah, and then we never had one after that. Why? Did you ever get gifts though? Yeah, my dad would go, like Christmas, we'd sit around.

We wouldn't have any of the tradition. I don't even know what food you would eat, but we would sit around and my dad would go, Merry Christmas. And he would give you an envelope full of cash and I would go buy weed with it. How much money would you get in the envelope? 300 bucks. And he'd be like, that's it, Merry Christmas. Yeah, Merry Christmas.

No gifts open up in the morning. There was no like- You never had one Merry Christmas? None of this magical shit that you guys grew up with. But when I watch it, like right now, we have two trees in our house. Real or fake? They're real. And we went and bought it, you know what I mean?

And we went, we fucking lugged it in the house. Yeah. And then her and Kalyla and Juliana spent all night with all the decorations. Isn't it nice? And I just sit there and watch and I go, you know, I want to, I don't want to be like, you know, I want to get involved. You know what I mean? The best I can because I just don't,

but I don't know much about the culture or the rituals of it. So I just kind of like, I do the best I can, but at the end of the day, I'm dead inside when it comes to the holiday season. No, you're not. I am. I don't care. You, I don't care. Okay. You know, so when we play games like this,

I play along and the answers that I have are just out of just just stuff that maybe I gathered by listening to a song one day or at a mall. Right. But like nothing that I, you know, I mean, grew up, you know, learning. Does it make you Christmas movies? I don't, I've never seen any of them. Yeah, you have. I haven't.

Have you never seen Miracle on 34th Street? I don't even know what it is. But some movies fall into the category of Christmas movie, even though they're not, right? Like what? Home Alone is a Christmas movie, even though it's a predator once. That's a good Christmas movie. Yeah, yeah, like the first one.

What about like, what about like a play? Like Plain Strings and Automobiles? Great movie. Great movie. But that was more of a Thanksgiving movie. I think it was Home for Christmas. Thanksgiving. Was it?

Yeah. It was. You know why? Because the fat lady, that was at the go, gobble, gobble. You're right. Okay, that was. All right, let me think of another Christmas movie. Die Hard.

Die Hard was a Christmas movie. Die Hard 2. No, Die Hard the original was a Christmas movie. Yeah, I did see that one. But you can't learn much from it. You learn how to like, you know what I mean, the only thing I learned from Die Hard about Christmas is you could run on broken glass with bare feet. Hell yeah.

Yeah, yeah. You can climb through vents and knock a towing tower. Yeah, I never heard of the term Yippee-ki-yay before. Well no one had. Yeah. Didn't he make that up on that movie? I think that's a Yippee-ki-yay is an old Western term. Yeah, but Motherfucker isn't.

Yes, he combined it too. He made it. Yippee-ki-yay, Motherfucker. Yeah, that's his. But Yippee-ki-yay is a, yeah, but you love Westerns. You said you love Westerns. That's like a... Yeah, but I know.

But I'm just saying though that, uh... Christmas movies didn't work. I don't mean to bring anyone down. When people are, say, Merry Christmas or I've bought gifts from people, I just, my honest feeling about it is that I've never gotten the Christmas spirit and I wish I could get it. But... Maybe you can try this year. I fucked it up by one of my best buddies.

I couldn't... You sure did. I couldn't even get you a fucking gift, man. You sure did. You know what I mean? Are you gonna make up for it at some point? Fuck you. Thank you.

That's my... Yes. I don't know why I just did that. I know why. Why? Because it's a defense mechanism. It is. It's sad. For showing how much you actually love me.

I'm gonna learn. I'm gonna learn. I love you. It's fine. I love you too. I really do. I love you. I know it's the end of the year. I want to say how much I love and appreciate you guys. This is the Christmas spirit is giving.

And I want to give you guys, um, a little gift. Uh, if you, uh, Andres, reach under your seat there and see I've left you a little gift under there. Do you see it? Oh, yeah. And George, look under your seat. Did you get it? It's incredible. You're welcome. What is it?

It's just a little something from me to the crew. Oh, God. Wow. I got a gift too. What about from Bobby? Did you get the guys anything? Yeah, but mine is in the mail. You know, UPS is backed up right now.

They are, they are. So mine's arriving a little late. Okay. Well, I want to say thank you to all you guys. I also want to say thank you to the fans because we mean it. We love you guys. It's, uh, we're, we're not a year yet, but it's, this has been a fun journey. I hope everyone has a great holiday.

You know, um, I mean that I have to be honest with you. Okay. May I please 100% Christmas spirit spirit. Um, people are going to be watching this around the fireplace with their families. Merry Christmas to you and loved ones. And may you have a jolly time. We should also say happy Kwanzaa and, and, um, but I want to say, wait, J2 plus is texting me.

Oh yeah. That makes more sense. I want to, I want to say, um, I don't know how long we've been doing this podcast. 45 weeks. Yeah. But, um, I remember, you know, um, I was thinking about doing one with other people at one point. Yeah. And I just couldn't get myself to do it.

The motivation wasn't there. Yeah. And when Andrew came along, um, although my gut said no, no, I mean, this is going to come out good. Okay. I'm going to say no. And, uh, my head said maybe, um, my heart said yes. And I said, you know what?

I just, for some instinctually, I think this is maybe the way to go. And once we started doing it, um, I was grateful for it because, um, I don't know if that's love. I don't know if it's hate, but there's something there between us that's bubbling Yeah. Underneath the surface and, um, we could kill each other, but, um, or we could make love. You know, that's the magic of it. It is. You know, um, but I'm really, um,

I'm really happy that I did it with you. I'm happy that I did it with you. Okay, so look at me. Happy holidays. Happy holidays. And your family. And everybody else, thank you for being a bad friend. Woo!