Bad Friends - Immortal Kombat

Episode Date: May 10, 2021

New Merch Out Now! https://badfriendsmerch.com Thank you to our Sponsors: https://www.babbel.com code: BADFRIENDS & http://liquidiv.com code: BADFRIENDS & http://shipstation.com code: BADFRIENDS &http://keeps.com/badfriends YouTube Subscribe: http://bit.ly/BadFriendsYouTube Audio Subscribe: https://apple.co/31Jsvr2 Merch: http://badfriendsmerch.com 0:00 Andrew's Tour Dates 0:34 The Comedy Store is Coming Back 5:05 Rudy's Waiting Job 14:51 Bobby and Andrew as Women (and Jules as a Man) 17:02 UFC Review 25:27 Stark Trek's Utopian World 30:04 UFOs and Bobby's Little Grey Experience 38:47 A Walk to Remember Review 43:00 Bobby and Andrew's High School Date 55:30 Bobby's Falling Out with La Joya's Comedy Store 1:08:040 Rudy Guesses Famous Movie Plots More Bobby Lee TigerBelly: https://www.youtube.com/tigerbelly Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bobbyleelive Twitter: https://twitter.com/bobbyleelive Tickets: https://bobbyleelive.com More Andrew Santino Whiskey Ginger: https://www.youtube.com/andrewsantinowhiskeyginger Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino Twitter: https://Twitter.com/cheetosantino Tickets: http://www.andrewsantino.com More Bad Friends iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-friends/id1496265971 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/badfriendspod Twitter: https://twitter.com/badfriends_pod Official Website: http://badfriendspod.com Opening Credits and Branding: https://www.instagram.com/joseph_faria & https://www.instagram.com/jenna_sunday Credit Sequence Music: http://bit.ly/RocomMusic // https://www.instagram.com/rocom Character Design: https://www.instagram.com/jeffreymyles Bad Friends Mosaic Sign: https://www.instagram.com/tedmunzmosaicart Produced by: George Kimmel & Bryce Hallock - 7EQUIS Podcast Producers: Andrés Rosende & Pete Forthun Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey bad friends Bob is not on the road right now, but I am go to Andrew Santino dot-com for dates Andrew Santino dot-com for them tour dates I'm gonna be in Atlantic City at the end of the month then I go to Houston and Madison and Boston and Nashville and we're adding dates as we go be on the lookout, but go to Andrew Santino dot-com for tickets You know the comedy stores opening they call you they call these Emmy text messages. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, they're opening up I'm not coming back next week. I'm not coming back. Why aren't you until after the pandemic after I come back from Europe, right? Well, cuz you want to go to right? That's why I haven't written anything In a year. I have not written anything a year of a pink video

It's a good one. It's a good joke. You're in a bad mood. No, I'm not a bad. I can tell you know what you get more Yeah, I can tell it's in your eyes. I'm not a bad mood. Be honest. What's going on? I Are you annoyed that we're late? No, not at all. Yeah, actually, I wasn't I didn't even mention it And I'm annoyed that she's yawning. So what's going on? People couldn't stop asking about Rudy at the show. I'm not I'm not make I'm literally not making that up. Yeah Yeah, I'm not I'm not said no that has nothing to do with what my I'm not saying I'm in a bad mood How many people you think we're in the room now? How many people were asking about Rudy if I'm being genuine after the show I took some questions out of the show. Yeah

13 people every single show What's Rudy gonna do? What's you guys gonna get Rudy gone? Who's gonna fill in? Yeah? Yeah, all Everybody asked and I said it's none of your business. We'll figure it out how we have to figure it out it's so funny because today we have we had dinner for the first time at a restaurant and Kaleila, which one? Jinnah, ooh, I love Jinnah ramen No, not ramen. No hamburgers Do you have an offshoot hamburger? Oh, they do. Yeah, cheese. We're delicious. Wow

Oh, yeah, they put some umami sauce on it. Jinnah cheeseburgers. Yeah, it's delicious Actually the time the ramen place the ramen was good. Was it good? Yeah, but anyway who um, can I finish my story a bad mood? She's a bad mood. I'm not in a bad. How am I in a bad mood? Hey, I can tell with your eyes. I Can tell with your eyes. What's going on? You just sleep well, you know me. Well, I know what's going on I haven't been getting any sleep. Yeah, you'd look tired and just like on the edge I'm having night sweats. Oh And I think it's because of the vaccine. I'm being serious night sweats night sweats. That's nice. I looked it up

It's part of it. Oh night sweats and one of my testicles disappears into my body in the middle of the night It'll go up into my body. That's happened and I'll have to go And it'll happen to me. Yeah, my life. It just disappears. It's just gone. It's never been there Which one right or left? Both of them are just tucked inside my fucking dick Do you know how they feel like they're on strings? I feel like it just crawls up the string at night Yeah, let's go sometimes. Yeah, but it feels so strange in my body How many how many wrinkles do you have on my nuts? Yeah, it's the it's I mean it's so wrinkled You can't I can't count. How could you I kind of mine hundred and sixty two three six two. Yeah, my looks like a brain

It's just like a roll like yeah, it's see why it's bad Mine's like is your stretchy. I call it dune Because there's like a little jagged snee snakes A little snake comes out. Yeah. No, my too many people asked about you That's all I want to say it was annoying and and then everyone's like tell us what school She's gonna go to and it's I said we're gonna reveal it on the show. Yeah, yeah Just wait till we get to we're gonna reveal it. Do you want to reveal it? We haven't decided yet? Anyway, so we were at the restaurant kind of finished my genius story or what? Yeah, thank you bad mood

I'm not in a bad mood Andres, am I in a bad mood? Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah Go ahead So, um, we're at Jinnah and Kaleiliko. You know what? Juliana, that's her real name. Yeah, Rudy. All right, Rudy Rudy. Juliana. Yeah, Rudy Juliana You should have a waiting job and I go please. Oh, that'd be cool. I'll tell you why I'll tell you why because You every weighted tables dude. I've done over that. I did busing. I did serving. I did hosting. I did dishwashing Yeah, you I did all of it slammed, right? Yeah for like an eight-hour shift

I mean, you're just you know, especially in a busy restaurant, you know, you get a section, right? Yeah as a waiter Yeah, and it's like ketchup here to Vasco here. I got an order coming up here. I said no tomato They want their check and you're running around in a circle for eight hours like losing it make like a mania. Yeah Yeah, what the fuck? Yeah, you know me and then at the end of the day you get $90 maybe maybe maybe yeah, right this ungrateful little I know I don't write we know she but you sit here you yawn Yeah, she right you say three things like I agree to Andrew or whatever. Yeah, and then sometimes out of nowhere She'll go the Jews. They're like whoa crazy too far

But my point is is that I want her to have a waiting job. Yeah, you need one so that she can just realize How lucky she is lucky. She is all right. Well, let's do it right now. I'm a customer We might my husband and I just sat down to eat. Yeah, why don't you serve us yet? Hello, hello. Hi. Do you have any specials? Yes, we have the Apple cider salad. Oh, you love apple cider salad. So I love it. You love apple. I used to have it in France That's your favorite. Yeah. I love how they pigment. Yeah. I mean the lettuce they dip it, right? They dip it in the lead that the apple cider. Yeah, there's like 24 hours. There it is Delicious. Is that a real silent? That's an autumn chopped apple cider salad. Yeah. Yeah. What else do you have a salad for?

Oh, we have the Carnitas Carnitas, what does that come with? Tacos. Oh, so you get you get tacos with the carnitas. What kind of taco? So do you get carnitas just a plate of carnitas? You get two things. You get tacos and carnitas. Wow. Wow. All right What's how much is that? $13 We'll split the apple cider salad and then we'll also split the carnitas and the tacos. Anything else on the special menu?

Do you want drinks? Yeah, what do you have? What do you have to offer? We're not really into we're a couple Obviously, yeah, and her him. I like gays What she said I like gays and you know what that's so we're fine with that You're lucky. We're fine. Yeah, but generally you shouldn't say that if we were a black couple, right? You couldn't you shouldn't say I love blacks, right? Even if you do and that's fine that you do but you just don't go I like blacks internally You can feel that right to outwardly say that right. We're cool with the gay comment though We're fine. Can I show that I like you just be nice to us. Just be nice and because we're normal

We're just regular people. Yeah, right. So um, don't treat us any different So you have we ordered those two things that in terms of drinks. We're not into sugar right now We're not we're cutting sugar right out of our diet and so water Well, it said well, we want to fancy it up because this isn't what was this restaurant called again This is what no what was the menu? Yeah, what's it? Um, oh Toto Tijuana, I love to do you want us this is a chain, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, it started an El Paso There was to an El Paso and then one in Albuquerque, and then I think that's why they came here

We are now in Southern California. It's delicious. Well, so here at Toto Tijuana. Do you have anything else to drink that wouldn't be water? Yeah We have something similar to water which which is what which is what? Um, um Spring water. Oh spring water spring water. Wow fancy. That's cool. We do like that We love spring water. We'll take it a bucket of that. We'll take a bucket of spring water spring water, please Yeah, okay, and do you have any desserts? Yeah, actually we might we like to order dessert when we're ordering the whole meal Yeah, cuz then I get on the table to look at what's coming. What's coming to give us a reward? Yeah We just have

chocolate pot pie a chocolate pot pie perfect perfect so So it just seems like a lot of sugar We are cutting out sugar. We're cutting out sugar, but desserts are full of sugars Well, we've been to plenty of restaurants that don't have sugar in your desserts I mean something like you have anything lighter than a chocolate pot pie Oh, yeah, and what's in the chocolate is it and let me ask you chocolate inside what is it a chicken pop So it's basically the crust of a pie of a pie pie inside. It's just pure chocolate chocolate Yeah, melted chocolate the chef will give you a surprise and put potatoes and oh

Yeah, like they do that winning combination of potatoes and chocolate that everybody strives for yeah, yeah potato chocolate Okay, well listen listen, that's fine. That's fine lighter cuz yeah, look he's not but I'm on a diet Yeah, I'd like to shed some pounds and that's why he agreed to do the sugar thing with me Which was sweet. Well, I mean just cuz you like gays. Um, he's literally the bottom Yeah, I mean he's the bottom so he doesn't really need to lose the way we like to call it the first layer I'm the first layer. Yeah, I'm the first layer. So I I just would like to lose a little bit of weight Okay, so what else do you have that's lighter dessert wise salad ice cream? Ah? Mmm

Salad ice cream just salad with ice cream on top What flavor ice cream is on top? Yeah, yeah Let me ask you this so it's a lettuce cup and you scoop ice cream into it. Yeah, it tastes good You know there is there's that salad ice cream that you like so much like so much well, okay I guess we'll take those items take that items. Okay, and now we're done. We're done now. Okay ready and can we have the check, please? Here you go. Oh, thank you very much. Whoa, what? That it's excuse me four hundred and twenty five dollars Well, how what how could we have we got literally a salad carnitas tacos? Yeah, we got the an ice cream salad this spring water

Here we go. You ordered a bucket. Yeah, we did. Yeah of spring water So bucket it let me ask you so a bucket of spring water at this restaurant It is a hundred and twenty nine dollars one thirty five five fifty five Yeah, one thirty five fifty five. Wow, I guess and where's the water from from Mount Everest. Oh That explains that explains it. I wish you told us that up front. Yeah, we would have got the regular water. Maybe he said You wanted fancy We did want fancy. Yeah, it just okay. I don't the one thing I don't like on here You know sometimes servers will sign their name. They'll write like thanks Margo with like a heart in it, right? Yeah

This one says thanks you gaze I know why I tried to repass that but look Yeah, it's fine that you feel that way and that you're cool with us. But you know Listen, we I'll be honest with you. We're not we just didn't realize that he was it to do to Tijuana Tijuana's so expensive and we only have four hundred and thirty dollars dollars. Yeah. So, we're going to leave you whatever the tip, whatever the left, whatever changes left over. Is that okay? Is it okay? That's fine. I support Gaze. Just, you know, can I talk to your manager? Honey, honey, honey, honey, honey. I want to talk to your

manager. Honey. No, because we know the third time she said that. And let's call, let's not talk to the manager. We'll just call corporate. Okay, that's fine. We'll call corporate. I just want to say something, sweetie. Oh, sweetie. Yeah. You just, you cross the line. That's the first time. The first time, right, was okay. We're going to let that pass. The you threw one in there. You know what I mean? In the middle of everything, right? And now to add a third one is offensive. Not necessary. I was just saying, it's fine. Let's talk to the manager. Let's talk to the manager, please. Oh, here he is now. There she is. There's the manager now. There he is. Any problems? Yeah. Yeah, your waiter mentioned, you know,

we, we mentioned that we were a gay couple. Oh, we support gays in this. We get it. We understand. No, that it comes from the top. It comes from the top. I know you can feel it. It's trickle down. Trickle, trickle down. Racism. I don't know. Homophobia. Yeah. Alright, so sir, she multiple times during our meal had mentioned that she liked gays, which we understand that's a cool. That's fine. We like that. But I don't think she needs to bring up our sexuality during the dinner. Oh, so I just was a side note. Why is spring water 125 dollars? That should have been my first question. Yeah, that should have been for it comes from Mount Everest. Well, I guess that's that I guess that's that makes sense.

Anyway, so and then so she threw in a gay bomb. You have me in the middle three times three times and the third one was a little offensive. Oh, I'm so sorry. Rudy Jules, can I talk to you for a second? Okay, you don't tell them that you like them. You just like smile. And that's it. Well, you said to express love. Yeah, but with a smile, you know, good service. That's it. Okay, okay. Is there a is there like a gay discount that you guys might have to make up for some of the what you just did? Like do we we do have a gay discount 20% off if you can prove that you're gay. You know what you can I just say something if you can prove you want us to prove that we're gay. Can you imagine this restaurant?

You have to prove your by the way, I imagine a restaurant a couple walking a couple sitting down and you're and Rudy comes up and just goes I love guys. Yeah. No, we're we do a lot of gay stuff and I just feel like that whole scene. We don't do a lot of gay stuff. We do. We're always a good couple. We're always fucking right. And we're always doing something. This is a fantasy. I understand that. But let's you know, can we be something else like hermaphrodites or sure. Fine. What is it? You're born with both genitalia. Let's just do that. Okay. Let's try that. But not right now because we already did the scene. But if we're lovers, I know, but the next scene. Okay, the problem is not be gay. Okay, good luck. Yeah, we're

we're brothers. But we both happen to be hermaphrodites. And sometimes we kiss. Yes, sometimes. But that's just, you know, in a family, that's a family stuff. That's fine. Yeah, that's like to say goodbye. We fucking kiss. But that that's family. That's family stuff. That makes sense. But for us to always say that we're gay, it's not that it's not that it's not that it's just because we're two guys that host this and Rudy Jules is the resident queen of the pod here. Yeah. When we're in a relationship on the. But why are we pirates are you know what I mean? Because we're gay guys. Okay, that's right. Look at this, by the way, look at what, look at what gaps gaps is brought up on the screen. Yeah. Honestly, you I look

like a girl that just is a no, you look tramp. Yeah, you look like somebody that like, I'm a let's say I'm a heroin dealer. I'm in a small town, right? Somewhere in Massachusetts. Right. And you look like somebody just says, I just don't have the money. Right. And I'm like, you know, what are we going to do about it? And I'm like, we need, you know, I need to get something out of it. That kind of a situation like, well, what do you want? And then you you propose something that's like out of control. Like I'll stick dribbles in my vagina. Right. Right. And I'm like, I didn't offer that. But I did. Yeah. So can I have the heroin? Yeah, I'll throw I need the H bad. Yeah. This actually these two girls go

out together. These two girls go out and party at night. If you were drug addict, what um, what drug would I be? No, no, no, but like, like if you and I were in crack, what is your line? What do you mean? Well, like we're street people. Yeah. You and I are street people. Right. Right. We're living under our tent. Yeah. Under the freeway. Under the freeway. Yeah. We need heroin eight hours a day. Every eight hours we need it. Yeah, our kick. We got to get our fix. We start going to detox, right? Right. So what are you willing to honestly though? What would you be willing to do? Kill? You would? I don't want to do. Would you suck dick or kill? I don't want to do sex favors. I'd rather be the murderer. You I know you're

not killing anybody. No, no, you're too much of a sweet boy. I'm stabbing for sure for heroin. But then you'll go to prison. I know, but it's better that well, and then I'll have to stop there. So it's like, I'll get over it at some point. Yeah, I don't want it. I just don't want to do. Oh my god. That's Rudy as a duty. Oh my god. Wow. There's Carlos Santillius. Yeah. That's one of the members of the band. Yeah. Rudy, look at what you look like as a dude. Why do you look like a Mexican guy? You look like what? You look like Gilbert a little bit. Yeah, a little bit. Yeah. I think you look like a Mexican guy there. Yeah. Wow. Let me ask you something last night. We were watching the fights. Yeah,

we did. But there were there were many nights ago. Two weeks ago. A couple of weeks ago. Three weeks ago. We were watching the fights. Okay. Yeah. And you're watching the fights. We're in the watching the fights and kind of got a fight with the people in the house because let me just say this. I got slapped in the face, by the way. Who hit you in the face? Kalyla. Like backhanded my face. Hard? She she was going to go really hard. But she kind of held back a little bit. But I could tell. But there was an anger. You saw it, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And it's because you know, Rose Namiunus fought Wei Li. Yeah. The Chinese one. Correct. Right. Love Chinese people. Yeah. I'm Asian. Stop Asian hate.

I'm not doing it. Okay, go ahead. But I was rooting for Rose. Why? Because Rose does things that she seems like she does the impossible. Like when she beat Yohana, Yonja and J.J. the first time, right? It was it was there's no in in your mind you would she was never going to beat her. Right? I mean, because Yohana was just tearing through that division. And you know, Yohana fought not Yohana. Rose fought people like Paige Van Sant and people that weren't even in the same in the same category. Yeah. Yohana was the queen of the straw weight division. Right on. Beater. Yep. Knocked her out in the first round. Yep. And so in this one, it's like, you know, here we have Wei Li, who's like this buff monstrosity

of Jacked, Jacked, right? Just Chinese. So she's, you know, you just think that her work ethic is probably out the window. You know what I mean? Right. And and Rose is, you know, obviously not the betting favor. You know, she people think she's going to lose. And she was able to knock her out in the first round with a kick. You see that kick? It was pretty, it was pretty amazing. It was incredible. Right. Kicks to the face are in the neck and the neck air. Oh my God. She falls over. She gets she loses, Wei Li. And I, you know, I go, you know, I'm a poor winner. You love it. I'm a poor winner. You are a poor, you're a poor loser. You're you're just as poor of a winner as you are a loser. I mean, a poor

and everything. You're poor. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I went, you know, I was rubbing it in. Yeah. I think I, I did a, you know what I mean? I did a fucking dance move, like a swirl. Yeah. Yeah. You know what I mean? And I told you. And I went crazy. I told you. I told you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And instigated. Yeah. You know, I, in their face, I went to people's faces. Well, yeah. You know, I went crazy, right? And then she just went pap in my head. Good. And she goes, and she goes, you know, are you white? Are you white? Yeah. Because I supported the white one. Oh. You know what I mean? Like in a situation. You support a lot of whites. I, now when she said that, right, I go, maybe I am. Yeah.

Maybe you are. No, no. But am I? A little. Why? Well, because you support a lot of whites. Yeah. But it's like, why do I have to as an American citizen? As an American citizen, why can't I. You can choose whoever you want. Yeah. Why can't I root for the American? I'm an American. You can. Right. But I, because I'm Asian, I have to vote, I have to root for the fucking China, China. It should be your angle. Yeah. You should. You should just want to go with the Asian. Right. So what I'm saying, like if you're watching a sport. I have to root for Conor McGregor. I don't have a choice. You do. Every time I had to. I don't know. Even when I thought I shouldn't. No, really. Because it's like

a thing. You're like, ah, it's a pride for a country a little bit. That's why they wave the flags at every UFC event. They always have their flags there. Yeah. It's just, it's like you're supposed to a little bit. I don't know why. I don't like it. But it's like something inside you is like, I guess I should root for my own squad. Yeah. You know what I mean? If it's racist, if it's like, if it's like all about the race of it, but if it's about the nationality, then you kind of got to root for your national team. I mean, you're American, but like. But like what? But you know, you're, you're also Asian. Like I'm, I'm American, but I'm also Irish. So like, you know, yeah, I got your Italian. I'm both. But yeah, but

there's no Italian. Who were the UFC Italian fighters that I'm rooting for? I want to live in a world that that's not a factor. I would love that to put your hand down. I would love that. Don't do that. I would love that. Fuck you. But that's not possible. I know you're talking about utopian society. Yeah, I can't we because let me just what are you a liberal? No. What are you a Libby Cuck? Listen, snowflake. That's why I love Star Trek. Babel for most of us, Andrew, okay, learning a second language in high school or college wasn't exactly a high point in our academic career. I failed. It was very difficult. I failed Spanish once. It's the way they teach it. Yeah. Babel has figured it out. Have they not? No, it's truly

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all in one place. Where do we have to go, Bob? Download the free anchor app or go to anchor.fm to get started. Ja. Star Trek lived in a world where everybody, people on planet or there was no more money anymore. Right. Right. And people just strive to better themselves. But you love money. Just listen to what I'm saying. I know. And maybe these are aspects that I hate about myself. Correct. So just listen to what I'm saying. Okay, go ahead. So it's like, in that world, our objective is to explore more, to grow, and to discover things about within ourselves and also on the outside. Right. But who's paying for the gas for the spaceship? Just the planet Earth. Right.

And I don't think it runs on gas. What does it run on? You think there's a gas station up there? There's got to be. In the Romulan fucking s- Well, what, what, what force does it run on? Hope? No, no. It probably, no, dilithium crystals. Who gets, who's mining the dilithium crystals? Uh-huh. Mexicans. For sure Mexicans. Even in outer space. In space. Yeah, you're right. You're trying to get to a point. Yes, you're right. Yeah. But I just want to get to a point where it's like, you know, I understand what you're saying. I don't think you do. No, I do. I think you're saying that you, you wish that stuff didn't mean as, didn't mean, mean as much as it does.

You know, there's also a sense of guilt of like, you know, am I not supportive of other it? Like when I'm, I'm not, when Asians get beat up on the streets, it's offensive to me of, to me. Sure. And I want to fight that, right? And maybe, and maybe if it was happening to another, you know, ethnicity, it would still be appalling to me, but not as appalling. Yeah. Well, it's not going to affect you unless it, it literally has a connection. Right. So that, you know, that, you know, but I still would be, you know, I mean, it would affect me still, you know, but, you know, I just found it interesting that it's like, you know, I can't, you know, I mean, support a white person. You can. But then

I get backlash. But you do it privately. Within myself. Right. You do it inside. So when, so when, so when Whaley got knocked down, correct, I should have went, oh, oh, no. Oh, no. That kind of thing. So bad. Wow. Yeah. Okay. You have to celebrate. You have to celebrate internally. Who did you support? Did you like the fights rude? Yeah, I liked it. You like fights, huh? Whaley, everyone, when Whaley got defeated, everyone was sad except he to Bobby. That's why I think Kyla got really mad. What did I do? What did I do in the face? You were screaming and jumping. Yeah. And then I think Kyla said that Rose said something racist to Whaley. What did she say? Oh, before. All right. Here we go.

So what she said, her, I guess her great, her grandfather was Lithuanian. Okay. And died from the communists. That's terrible. He fell off a tower. What did the communists push him off a tower? I get, yeah, like in Game of Thrones. Cool. Yeah. Cool way to go. And then his, you know what I mean? His, her grandfather fell off the tower and became a warg. You know, we could fly through a crow. You know what I mean? Yeah, pretty cool. That's right. That's kind of cool. But no, she was like, I want to defeat communism. Oh, that's right. Oh, oh, so it was about race. Better dead than red. That was his, her like thing to get behind. I'm sure. Yeah. I mean, but it's like, but that is kind of bullshit because

it's like, what is, Whaley probably has no, I mean, you're born into a system. Yeah. Right. Where, you know, you have to abide, abide by, it's like, it's like, you know, I'm sorry, this is a comedy podcast. I'm just go for it, baby. But it's like, you know, you're saying she, she might not be communist. No, it's like, you know, that. Or agree with communist. 76 days where it showed the first 76 days of, you know what I mean? The COVID epidemic in Wuhan. Yeah. Yeah. And, you know, these villagers and these towns people, they don't know what it is. They didn't have anything to do with. Right. Right. This outbreak. They're just born into a town. You're now a fisherman or whatever you might be working

at a market. All of a sudden you're sick. You don't know what the fuck is going on. Whaley is the same with probably communism. I mean, she's just born into a system. Yeah. System. The government knew by the way. What do you mean? The Chinese government knew. About what? About Corona. I know, but did they didn't, do you think that they, it was a, created in a lab and they. They didn't tell the people not to tell anybody. They just didn't tell anybody when people were dying. They were trying to find a way to cover it up. Yeah. Yeah. Which is what our government does the same fucked up shit when they're like, uh, we'll figure out a way to cover. How weird that the government

now is acknowledging aliens. Do you not see all these reports now that they're like, they're open now about it for all these years that we're like, that's a UFO. That's a fucking UFO. And the government is like, no, it's not. And now look up any article. They're like, yeah, okay. It's a UFO. Well, the little graze have been living with us probably about 70 years. At least, you know, the little graze. At least. Yeah. At least little graze are. Look up, look up little graze. Little tinies. I told you about my experience with the little graze. Little graze bastards. Didn't I? No. Yeah. Have you been abducted? No, but I had an experience. Well, what is it? And you're not going to believe me. I'm going to, I'm

in. I'm being, I'm really, I believe in aliens. First of all, let me just say this. Nope. Today, obviously, my tone is very serious. It was for a minute, but we can get back to this. No, no, no, but this is, that's why you know that when I talk about the little graze, that I'm being serious. I can feel it. Thank you. I can feel it. So a long time ago, I was 17 years old and I was in a rehab. First or second stint. It was my second one. Right on. Or third one. It was my third one. Third time's a charm. Yeah, yeah. I was at the McDonald's Center and I met this man. Wait, what? I didn't hear that. The McDonald's Center. Oh, the McDonald's Center. Yeah. Like the McDonald's sponsors a rehab? Yeah. How's

the food? Delicious. Yeah. They're like, while you're kicking heroin, get diabetes. Yeah. So anyway, I met this man there and he was like a 50 year old man. He was in the, so I was in the kids' ward, the teenage drug reward. Right. You're there for 45 days and then it was an adult ward, but sometimes we would get together and go to meetings and whatnot. Right. So I met this man there and his name is Tom. He was 50 years old or whatever. Now we'd go to these men's meet. I would run into this guy all the time. He looked like a, just a white accountant vibe. Yeah. Right. And one day, you know, sometimes there's this thing after an A meeting where they go, you know, the meeting after the meeting, which

is like, you know, all the guys or girls, they go to a restaurant and they socialize. Drink coffee, smoke, cigarettes. Right. Eat all night. Yeah. I've seen you guys. It's like swingers. They used to do it all the time. Yeah. Yeah. You don't like it. I just, I just, it just, I can just, you can, I just, when you walk in and they're like, Hey, can we get the table on the back? You know, that, that corner of swingers I used to love and they're like, there, there's a group back there. I'm like, it's the fucking addicts. They're always back there and they're drinking coffee all night. So they're never going to give up. They never leave. They never leave. No, I hate it. They always have the good

table. It's fine. It's fine. Fucking addicts. I knew every time there's a group back there. I'm like, God damn. So anyway, so after, and sometimes when you go to a meeting, you go around to people and go, Hey, you guys going to go out and eat? No. Oh, some people are like that. Right. And so one day I was at a meeting and that happened. You guys going to go on? Yeah, but no, no, we're going somewhere else. You know, and nobody, but Tom was there. There's an old guy. He goes, I'll eat with you. And I'm 17. Okay. All right. What do you want to go? He's like, I love eating with little boys. Let's go to the delicatessen or whatever. A deli. Yeah. Yeah. Call it delicatessen. Delicatessen. Yeah. So we go to the delicatessen

and we're just sitting there eating and he goes, you know what I used to do, right? And I go, what? He goes, I used to work for the military. You know, and I go, Oh, I'm just eating like an omelet. I go, Oh, that's interesting. You know, I mean, I can't wait to get out of there. He goes, they're after me. I love this guy. Why? Why? I love this guy because they're after me. Why is it only white guys? I don't know why. It's I'm scared now because you I'm from the suburbs. Yeah. At this point, I've never seen a black person. So you think black people are after him? No, I don't know anything. I don't know anything. I don't know anything. If I saw an American Indian, I would probably, you know, cry with

joy. Right. Pick up. Yeah. I'm just like, no, no, no. I'm just like, I'm innocent. Yeah. Because all my drug dealings and stuff happened in Poway. San Diego. From where I'm from. Tiny little neighborhood. Right. A little neighborhood. So I don't know anything outside this world. Okay. Right. So I go, Oh, cool. And he goes, in fact, they're after me. I go, Oh, you know, I'm eating. Yeah. Okay. And he goes, I'm living out of my fan. And I go, now I'm scared because I've seen TV shows. You know what I mean? This is where you die. Yeah. And I know what happens to little boys and vans. Right. He's like, finish your omelet. He goes, uh, you hear about the little graze. I know about the little graze, he said. And

I go, and I'm like, what is it? Now you're interested. I don't know what, what's a little graze? He goes, they live, they've been living amongst us for many, many years. They live underneath one. I don't know. I don't remember which way I was young. So I don't remember which, which military, you know what I mean? Compound. Area 51. No, it wasn't area 51. It was some in somewhere in Virginia or whatever. And he goes, they live, you know what I mean? Amongst themselves. They're little. They can read that telepathy. They have kinetic powers and whatnot. Right. Yeah. And they live amongst us. And I go, Oh, and he goes, I stole files from the military. That's where they're after me. Right. So what he says to me. Right. So

I go, Oh, and he goes, I can show you. Why is he showing a 17 year old boy? I do. Right. It's during the day though, too. And in the parking lot, it's like, you're in. Okay. Packed. So he said, come out to the very popular delicatessen. Come on out to the van. Yeah. So go to the van. Let me show you the files. Yeah. So he opens up the back door. Right. And I see a mattress. Right. And I'm not now I'm in a point where it's like, I know I can run. Right. You're outside. Yeah. He also use me. He's a nice guy. So now I'm not kidding you. On the side of this fucking van. Right. There's a shotgun. Guns ammo inside the inside. Yeah. There's files. Right. There's like a suit. Yeah. Right. There's clothing in the corner

of the van. Right. I think there's like a little stove. Yeah. He's got to eat. He's got to eat. Right. But it's like, you know, it looked like, you know, a zombie apocalypse van. It looks like a crazy person who steals a little Asian boys and takes them in the van and says there's files in there. And he goes in the van comes out with these military documents. As far as you know. As far as I know. But you know, I've never seen a military document before. That's why they looked legit with the stamps. Gotta have a stamp. What do you mean? Military always stamp stuff. Yeah. There's photographs. If there's anything you know about the military, they stamp photographs, photographs cut to. So I see them right. And I go, anyway, I got

to go home. I'm in school. Right. So, you know, I go home. And then maybe a year later, I don't see him for a year. Tom's gone. Yeah. I see a year later. And now he looks different. His eyes are like bug-eyed. He's got like hair like this. Drugs. No. Okay. Right. And he just looks skinny. Drugs. And he looks fearful. Drugs. Okay. I don't know. Right. Don't make assumptions. Well, he was in AA. Yeah. You're just mad about the swingers. Go ahead. You're mad about swingers. I know. Okay. Go ahead. Okay. I go, hey, man, how's it going? He goes, I don't have long left. Right. Drugs. And then I never saw him again. Yeah. Yeah. This is drugs. No, the military. Probably he died of drugs, not aliens. The military

got him. The alien heroine. The military. The military. And it was like. No, the military. The military. Do you think the military little guys got him? Yeah. Yeah. Look up UFO. Look up government. Government admits UFO. Don't hold your breath for a breakthrough. But still, the Department of Defense confirmed just. They're here. But isn't it fucked up? They're here. Don't you remember when we were kids? When we were kids. Yeah. All we ever heard was that we're like, that's bullshit. It's fake. The government shut it down constantly. Right. Yeah. They used to be like, that's not true. Yeah. There is no UFO. The moon landing was real. You know, they told us all these lies. The Earth is round. All these lies they've

given us over the years. And I know. Look at she's yawning again. I know. You need anger management classes. Sure. Yeah. See, what I'm saying? Here we go. You're there. It's right here. It's pouring out. You're going to cry. You're going to cry right. I wish I could cry. Yeah, yeah. I haven't cried. When was the last time you cried, Rudy? Last night. Yeah. Why did you cry? A movie. What movie? Mortal Kombat. No, Sub Zero. No. What did you cry for? It was a love story. I'll walk to remember. Oh, I love a walk to remember. Did you see it? Yes. Have you seen this movie? No. Are you kidding me? No. What a cute movie. It was good. It's really sweet. Oh, pass. I pass. It's Mandy Moore. It's Mandy Moore.

And what's the guy's name? What a movie. A walk to remember. I pass. Do you even know what it's about? I don't like love stories. This is beautiful. Mandy Moore, and what's his name? Shane West. Shane West. So Mandy Moore. Oh, my God. Mandy Moore, please. Mandy Moore is paralyzed. From the what? From the neck down. Why is it always the neck down? Why can't it be from the ears down? Well, because you can still feel your ears usually because this is too separate. Oh, it is. I'm not a doctor. So Mandy, Mandy gets, Mandy Moore, this movie gets in a tragic, a tragic car accident right after high school. This is her high school boyfriend, right? Yeah. Yeah. She gets paralyzed from the neck down.

Is this true? Yeah. Okay. She gets paralyzed from the neck down, Mandy Moore. Okay. Yeah. This, everyone goes off to college and does their thing. Meanwhile, you know, she's, you know, she's totally bugged out in a wheelchair. She's Stephen Hawking, basically. Okay. And everyone goes off to college. Now, now this guy moves back into town because his mom is sick, right? So he comes back in a town. Years later. Years later. Like how many years? I think it's like five. What is it, five or six years? Five or six years, he moves back in a town. Comes back into the small little town. Yeah. Okay. In Tennessee. Yeah. And he comes back and sees old Mandy and yeah. Okay. Yeah. And he, and, and they form a love

connection because of the loss of his mother and that Mandy herself had lost her mother as well in the car accident. Okay. So then what happens? This is insane. You're not going to believe this. You're not going to believe this. He gets her to walk. He actually gets her to walk. How? He could, he creates us like he's a, he's a, he's a, um, why you laughing? Nothing. It's just, he knows the details. I did love this movie. Oh, you, so he's, I feel like he's making it up. No, this is the movie. Yeah. It doesn't seem real to me. It, he's an engine. It doesn't, because I'm saying he comes back, he falls in love with this girl. He's an engineer, right? He was a, he was an aerospace engineer, right?

He comes back, he builds her a contraption to get her out of the chair and it physically makes her walk on the beach for the first time. Let me be honest. So it's a walk tour and she's physically walking on the beach together. Can I just, can I ask you the most beautiful movie I've ever seen? What? Um, let's suppose, I've never seen this movie, but I want to see it. You've never seen it? No. Yeah. So you're lying? Yeah. Yeah. That's a great, but imagine her on the beach walking and he's machine operating a water. Remember, that was really good. So you never saw it. No, I have no idea what that movie is. I have no idea. What is it about roots? Yeah. The girl has a sickness. Cole told you. Well,

you knew that. Did you know that? These movies are all the same, Poppy. Yeah. These are written, these are written in a format. Andre knows what this is because he went to film school with the guy that probably wrote it. These guys all write the same movie. She's sick or he's sick and there's a family and there's a love connection and there's a guy that comes in the middle of it or someone else or her brother doesn't like him. These movies are, there's a billion of them. They're Hallmark. You ever seen Hallmark films? Yeah. There's a Hallmark film. The guy goes, there's a girl in the big city and she moves back to small town or vice versa and it's like, Oh, what's going on? Big hot, hot, big city, hot shot.

It's all the same. And then they find out that they, all they need is love and you don't need money or work and whatever. And look at that. When Landon Shane West decides he wants to make his activity series, he asked Jamie, Mandy Moore to help and begins to spend most of the time with her. He starts to develop strong feelings for the two-starter relationship with the heartbreaking secret becomes known. It puts their relationship to the test, which is of course, she's sick. She's going to die. Yada, yada. This is the same as a fucking, what's the Macaulay Culkin movie with the bees when stung by the bees? My girl, my girl, killer bees. So let me ask you something. It's all the same movie, but to me, just the

premise in itself, I want to sound so bad right now, but just let's be honest with ourselves. I'm here. All right. It does. It's like, if you're dating somebody in high school, you don't have the, you know, or even early, early twenties and you're like, I'm your girlfriend, I suppose. And I said, are we gay for this part? No, no, no, I'm a girl. All right. Fine. Fine. All right. So can we be half of her for that? Yes. That's what I like. So you're dating, we're dating in high school for real. Go. And I think I should be the guy because this is my point. Okay. You be the girl for this time. That's fine. That's fine. I'm secure enough. Hey, baby. Yeah, what's up? How did

the doctor appointment go? Wait a minute. I don't want to play that character like that. That's cheesy. Yeah. Go ahead. Do it again. All right. Hey, sweetheart. Hey, what up? No. Why? I don't like it. She's post-op. No, she's not post-op. No, no, no, no. Because why can't I play the girl that I want to play? Can you just play? You're post-op. You want to play post-op? Just go again. That's fine. All right. I got to go deeper though. That's fine. If you're going to go deep, I got to go deeper. But you don't have a deep voice. I'm going to try. All right. Go ahead. Ship station. USA. You know how we ship products here on the show, like this very beautiful shirt that we've got? Every business I have,

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free. Keeps.com, slash BADFRIENDS. K-E-E-P-S.com, slash BADFRIENDS. Bad friends. Hard day, dude. Hey, what's up? Man, I love you, boo. I love you, too. So, what's going on? What was the doctor's appointment like? Pretty bad. I got three letters for you. H-I-V-H-I-V. H-I-V. That's what they say. Holy man. Because we've been fucking without condoms. We've been raw talking. Yeah, baby. Well, I'm your girl. You love me. All up. So, stay right here, okay? I want to make a phone call. You got it. All right. Ring, ring. Hello, doctor. Play the doctor. Hello? All right. I think

I need a H-I-V test. Okay, you can't. Tomorrow. Okay, you can come by tomorrow. Cup 2 p.m. Okay, I'll be free. Okay, so, um... Okay. Baby, yeah. I made a doctor's appointment. Okay. Yeah. So, anyway, you done? Clearly. Wait a minute. What was this about at the beginning? We got away from it real bad. Wait, you said no one in high school. No one in high school, what? Okay, let me... Even in your 20s. I got to get... Okay, here's... What is the problem? It can't be H-I-V. It can't be H-I-V. I'm dying of cancer. It can't be H-I-V, though. Why? Because H-I-V... People... You can still live with H-I-V. This is in... When did this movie come out? When did this movie come out? Oh, two. It was still maybe...

Yeah, there were still people, though, getting the cocktail. Maybe, but it was tough for them to live back then. Can it be a different disease? Fine. All right. And the voice, can we... All right, we'll switch up the voice. Yeah, the voice is driving me crazy. Okay, go ahead. Well, let's do voices, but let's just figure out what that is going to be. Let's surprise me. Okay, perfect. All right. All right. Hey, baby. Yes. No? God, no. I can't do a face. Let's be normal. Let's just do normal. All right, go ahead. Yeah, yeah. Tell me what the scenario is like. Well, let's improvise it. I know, but what I'm asking... What I'm asking, telling you is, is that I don't think that a young couple, right? Uh-huh. I think

that if, you know, a guy, you know, is dating a girl and she's like, you know, I have this rare disease. I'm going to be dead in six months, right? Yeah. Right? I think that he'll stay with the girl out of guilt. What if he's in love? I don't know. Rudy, well, that you're a hard person. Yeah, women are different. I'm being real. It's like... You're... Okay. Okay. Okay. If Kalyla got into it... That's different because... If Kalyla got sick right now... It's different because... You, because you're older. Not only am I older, I understand what life is much more. Sure. You mean, I, you know, I have more days, you know what I mean, behind me than ahead. Let's ask Gabs then. She's another woman that's not Rudy

then. Yeah, but women have a different point of view. I feel like if I, like, if I had some terminal disease and Kalyla had to take care of me, it would be far different than if it was vice versa. Why? My feeling, because I just don't know how to do it emotionally. Like a woman does. You're saying her strength, they're stronger than you. Yeah, it's like, you know, I need to go to the appointment to get, you know what I mean, my spine, you know what I mean? Regenerate it or whatever, right? And I'm like, where do we got to go? Every... We have to do regeneration therapy Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and it's in Santa Barbara. So... Noon to two. Yeah, and we have to get up at seven in the morning. And then

it would just be one of those things where it's like... Spine regeneration. Yeah, it's going to be one of those things where it's going to be like, I'll go... I'll obviously go, yeah, we'll do it, right? But it's going to like, I think it'll show on my face. Like in the morning, it'll just be like, all right, let's go. So if Kalyla needed spine regeneration and she was... I would do it. I would do it. But grudgingly. But you're lazy, Tito Bobby. There it is. And that's exactly the point. And that's exactly correct. But a lot of guys are lazy. Maybe Tito Andrew isn't lazy. That's right. All right, no. I would take her to do it and I wouldn't even think about it. Either would I. But you just said... I'm being

honest. You said you... I'm being too. It wouldn't bother me. I don't think you're being honest. No, I'm being genuine. If she said I had to go... So every Monday you have to wake up six... That wouldn't even... No, because I wake up on Monday... And she's going to die anyway in six months. Oh, sure. Yeah, yeah. Because then it's a countdown. Yeah, me too. How exciting. Me too. Me too. Me too. Me too. Then every month I'm just like, five more months. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. How about this? If Kalyla got into a tragic car accident and she was paralyzed from the neck down, would you stay? Yeah. You would stay? 100%. Because it'd be easy to leave. I wouldn't. She couldn't even... How could

you catch it? No, there's no way. Because your house is in wheelchair ready? No, because her and I have... History. No, it's not just history. It's a... Clearly I'm kidding. Of course you would stay. It's a connection that's far beyond just the physical, if I can say. It's probably more than... It's probably almost never not physical. Because she was today or she was talking about how... Your relationship is maybe not physical at all anymore. We are physical but today she was talking about how when she was born or growing up, yeah, growing up there was these two teenage girls that were murdered in the Philippines and they had their titties cut off. Right? And she knew a guy that was accused of it, whatever it might be.

You knew the guy? No, she wasn't born yet. Kalyla did. But I was like, she's like, it could have been me and my sister, right? That got her titties cut off, right? And then my response after that was like, oh, well, then my life would have been completely worse than it is now. Because she didn't have tits? No. If she had died, you know what I mean? In the 70s or 80s, right? Right. Then... And I'd never met her. I don't know if I would be here with you right now. I don't think... I think my life would be completely different. Butterfly effect. For sure. Everything would be different if it was different. I think it would be way worse because it's like... Well, that's hard to say. I'll tell you...

I'll tell you why, though. I think that's true is because everything that's positive in my life is because of her. It's a direct result of meeting her. I agree. That's probably true. In terms of just the trajectory of my career, the trajectory of wanting to get better as a human being, the trajectory of just everything. You think if Kalyla didn't check you down when you relapsed, if you didn't have her, that would have been the end. I might have still been out there. You know what I mean? But it's not even just that. It's like when I did... Years ago when we lived in that apartment on Beechwood, she's like, we should do a podcast and I'm like,

no. She goes, well, I'm going to do one on my own then. Go ahead. She went to the guitar center by herself. She set it up in the room and she did it on her own for like a month. And then one day I walked by her, the door was open and she was just sitting there and Mike and just doesn't know what to say. You know, she's just sitting there. She had done it. Right? And I just kind of went, all right, we'll do one. So I would go, let's just call Tiger Bell and she's like, why? I'm like, because no one's going to listen to this anyway. It doesn't make any sense as a non sequitur. Right? And we started doing it and then here we are. I'm a podcaster. Yeah. Right? Because of that experience. Yeah, correct. Yeah. So

it's like... She has had a positive effect. Everything. Everything. So without her, you'd be worthless. I might be. Truly. Who knows? I could have found something else in life, but I think I might have got it COVID because she's so, you know what I mean, adamant. She was very strict about this pandemic and I followed the rules of the house. You sure did. What do you mean? No, you did. I did. And I didn't get it. Yeah, that's good. Yeah. I got it. I know you did. A little bit cooler than you. No. You're responsible. A little bit cooler than you. You're responsible. It was a little bit cooler than you. No. I got the COVID. And you got your wife sick. Oh, not only her, I got 55 other people sick.

When I found out I had it, I went out. I didn't stay at home. I was out, out and about. Starbucks, no mask, coffee. Thank you, please. Next. Trader Joe's. You know what I mean? Everywhere I went, dude. I was, I was spread it. I was so, I loved it. I loved it. You're a douchebag. And people are like, Oh sir, you're not wearing a mask. I'm like, so what? I came up from Huntington Beach. That was coffin, dude. Spit in a coffin. I wasn't irresponsible. I got the mat. I got it with a friend outside. How do you know? We got it from Christie. I know from Chris's friend. His Mexican friend. His Mexican friend? You misquoted what he was like a thousand times. That's a matter. He's not Mexican. I know, but he's a stand up?

He is. Does he feel bad about it? He does. He should. He should. It's something about me that like, won't let certain things go. Like what? Like I have this thing where it's like, and I want, I want to change this about myself where like, you know, like my falling out with the La Jolla comedy store. You can always bounce back. But do you know what happened, right? I do. Yeah. You want to talk about it? And I'll never, yeah, I'll talk about it. I just can't forgive this guy. Sure. You know what I mean? But why can't you forgive people? That's the thing. It's something that I have within myself, whereas I have a, I get a grudge. Yes, you hold a grudge. And I hold it in my heart forever. Get rid of

that. I know, but I can't. But that's going to kill you faster than it kills them. It doesn't hurt me. I don't, it doesn't. It does subconscious. You don't even know it, but it does. Things like that do hurt us. It's like, I'll tell you what happened. I, you know, that club got gutted and closed at one point. Did you know that? Yeah, I do. Okay. So that, that club. So, so, so the manager, the manager, when I was a kid, right? And I went into that club, right? And Mitzi one day said, I'm closing it down. Right? Okay. Who's losing money? No, she's like, I'm moving it. She moved the comedy store to the beach. Oh, I remember that. Yeah. Yeah. And the coast of law. You weren't around that. No,

I heard about. I know, I know the story. So then that comedy store, the one that we know in Hawaii, right? Yeah. Was completely gutted. It was going to be like a furniture shop. Right. Right. The beach, there was no parking there. So they started freaking out. And the last second, she's like, let's go back. Right. But now the club was gutted. Right. So me, Freddie Soto guys like Johnny Sanchez, when we were kids, we went in there and we put the bamboo on the wall in the bamboo. Yeah. Right. We built the stage. We were, we went in there, put carpeting down. We, we did it all. Right. Did I work there? Right. As a doorman. Yeah. Right. That place was my fucking home. I know every crack of that club. Right. Right. It's like,

you know, it's like your hometown house that you grew up in. Do you, can you imagine that? It burned down. Oh, I'm sorry. That's all right. I did it. Really funny. But I know what you mean. Yes, it's like. So anyway, so now after I was in man on man TV or whatever, right? Maybe after a little after that, and I had to do a special, not special, but a standup set on TV. I forgot what it was. Sure. So I wanted to work out a set, so I called the La Jolla company store and I, I, I talked to a doorman and I go, yo, what's going on tonight? He's like the best of San Diego. So I go, oh, I'm going to drive down because I don't want to work it out here in Hollywood and I just want to work it out there.

He's like, come on down. So I drive two and a half hours or whatever it is. Right. To La Jolla. I go into the club and this manager who I didn't even know he was new there. Right. I go, all right, when can I go up and he goes, you can't go up here. And I go, why? Because we're doing pretty funny women. Right. Yeah. So I go, all right, well, I'll wait and I'll just go up at the end. And compromise. What year is this? This must be 2005. You're, you're on Mad. Yeah. Okay. Right. So you say, I want to go up the end of the show that's called Pretty Funny Women, which gives women opportunity that usually they didn't have a lot of spots. Exactly. But I'm at the, I'll go up at the end. But I want to go at the end. Yeah. The headline,

the Pretty Funny Women show. Special guest. Got it. Okay, you're making me mad right now. I'm agreeing with you. I literally just said, got it. I don't think so. I just said, got it. I'm just trying to figure out the context. I need context. Oh, if it was like an all Hispanic show, right? Pretty funny bees. Yeah. And you and I popped in popped in at the level that you're at now. Right. Imagine the talent on the thing. There's no name that these are, it's a basically open mic night. Right. I walk in and they're like, Hey, it's hot tamale night. Right. And you go, yeah, I'll go up at the end. You know, it's like, Okay, so just go back. You said I want to go up at the end. Yeah. And the manager said, no. Right. So I got back in my car and drove away. But I told

them, um, maybe I'm, maybe I sound like a baby. What did, what did you say? I said, if you don't put me up right now, I drove two and a half hours. Right. You know, I'm never going to play this club again. Can I, can I ask? And he goes, fine. Really? Yeah. Did you, did you call anybody and say I'm coming down? I just told you I did. Who, who did you contact? I called the door, the phone guy during the day. And the phone guy was like, come on down. Right. Miscommunication. So did you, you should have said to the manager, didn't the phone guy tell you I'm coming? Yeah. I probably said that. And he was like, no, he didn't tell me. Yeah. And then you're like, Oh, okay, well, then fire that guy. Cause that's his fault. That's fine. I don't, I'm not going to, all the dormant

in the phone guys are all standups, right? Yeah. So I'm not going to fucking, um, let, ruin somebody's dream. Sure. But then, well then so, but it's not the manager. It's not that big of a deal. It's a little holla. Just put me up. Okay. But it's not that big of a deal. It's not that big of a deal. So go back now. No, because I already said, if you don't put me up, I'm never coming back here. And he goes, that's fine with me. Right. So I go, at that point, I'm like, now I can never come back. But what I'm telling you is it doesn't bother him. It bothers you. It doesn't bother me. This is going back to my original point. We harbor those things and it doesn't hurt him. He doesn't lose any sleep about it. It doesn't, he's never even thought about it since it happened. But it does

bother you because it's, you know, still know it so well. So what you want me to do is go, I'm back. I want you to go, Hey, I want to come back. And then he, I see the guy and he'll go, dude, it's so great to have you here. We wish you came over the years. I'm sorry that that fucking thing happened. You're making me so mad right now. But it's so real. But I'm telling you what you, you're, you can fix something that is not even a problem. No, I will refuse. I refuse. You know what it is? Because let me give you a parallel. When Rogan, when Rogan told the story, I refuse. I'll tell you why I refuse. Okay. When he's fired, what if he, he gets fired or quits, then will you go back? Oh yeah. Okay. So it's all him. Yeah. Uh-huh. Oh yeah. I'll go or he could

call me and go, listen, I'm sorry. But what did he do for not, I'm sorry for not putting you up on the pretty funny women show. But that is a funny quote. I'm sorry for not putting you up on the pretty funny women show. Right. If it was like in LA, right? Yeah. And it's like, but it's not LA. Just listen what I'm saying, right? Right. If the lineup is like, Sarah Tiana, Sarah Silverman, you know what I mean? Whitney Cummings and they're like, 100%, I'd be like, you know what? I can't be on the show. But why not? Because I'm not a woman. But why could you be on the other show? Because it's like a packed room and it's like, you know. Because they weren't famous enough, the other women. Exactly. Right. And you understand my point of view, right? I don't. I mean, I know

why you feel that way, but I don't think you're right. Right. I think you're wrong. I love you, but I think you're wrong. Okay. I think the manager was put in a bad position. And then you, now after all these years, your big Bobby Lee, you're, you're in space right now of comedy. You can do whatever you want. Why don't you just go, well, then I want to come back. Can I ask you another question? Yeah. Can I ask you another question? Of course. Is there any level that you can be? Yes. To get put up on that stage? Yes. If Chris Rock, let me just say, if Chris Rock drove down there, right, could he go up there? He wouldn't do that. Oh, no, that's not true. Because I've seen, I was a doorman at the La Jolla Conference. No, what I'm saying is if Chris,

that's not true, would call and go, I'm coming to come to come down and I'm coming up and they would make it a thing. Right. Right. So my point is if you were more famous, they would have been like, yo, Chappelle is coming and the whole show would have shut down. So what you're saying to me right now is that I just wasn't famous enough to make that happen. Well, to make the thing a thing. Yeah. You weren't famous enough to try to bump someone on the pretty funny women show. Right. So there's a level that you can, though. And I still don't think you should. But is there, it happens all the time. It happens. But it's like, but it only should happen if like, but like, I think all headliners know why would you need it? You don't need to go. Because I remember one

time I was the circumstance. Listen, I was a doorman. I was a doorman, right, at the comedy store in La Jolla. And on Tuesday nights, Fred Burns gave us the room. So they go, it's all six of you. We're doorman. You guys work your ass off the practice room. So we would take these tickets flyers and go to back then it was called Jack Murphy Stadium. And we and when there was a Padres game, right, we would pass out these tickets free tickets and we sold out this room. Oh, no, it was paid. No, I mean, we it was a yeah, it was a papered room. Papered room. Yeah. But we got the poll Tuesday night. It was packed. Dope. Right. Yeah. Our show. I love those. Right. We showed up and Chris Rock was in town. Cool. This is before bring your pain, though.

Bring the pain. Bring the pain. Right. All right. And they go, Chris is gonna go up. Yeah. In the middle of it. He got to do an hour. That's awesome. Right. And there's nothing we could do. That's right. He went up. That's right. Did it. Right. And then some of us weren't able to go up. Yeah. You know what I mean? And some of us got fucked. And we worked really hard to do the show. My point is, that's, you know what I mean? But you're not Chris Rock. I was but I know. Yeah. I understand that. But this is Chris. Let me just let me defend myself. But you're not Chris Rock. I understand. But this is Chris Rock. Right. Chris Rock was became huge. Huge. After bringing the pain. Huge. Right. Yep. Before bringing the pain. But before that,

we knew it was Chris Rock. Hmm. He was fucking phenomenal. Right. But so it's so what you're saying is is that I could have. So what you're saying your point is I could have bumped. Right. Yeah. Pretty funny woman. If I was Chris Rock. Yeah. And I wasn't big enough. That's right. Okay. And since since the circumstances were because it's also I want to add this little thing into it. It's also my home club. I know. I started there. I think you should squash this. No, I will not. I refuse to. How about this? No, I refuse to. No. Here's how about we do a double down? How about we do a bad friend show? I'm going to do it with me. No, I'm not refused. I'm going to double down now. Right. Double down. I'm going to do everything I can

from that from this point forward. I'm going to I'm going to be a little baby. I love it. All right. From this point forward. Yeah. Right. Yeah. I'm going to do everything I can. I will never give up to take the club down. No, not the club. I will never give up. I'm going to try to get as big as I fucking can. Let's do it. And let me say something right now. Right. I mean a very good trajectory right now. You're killing it. Are you being sarcastic? You're killing it. Don't make me mad. You're killing it. What else do you want to know? And I'm going to do everything I can to get bigger and bigger. Did you watch any of the pretty funny women? Did you stay for any of it seriously? You have me as such a bad boy. I don't know if I can continue. You did this. I didn't do

this. You talked about it. I just wanted you to agree with me. What I agree with you on is it was a fucked up. You know the show. You know what the show is. It was a fucked up situation. It was not fair. But I don't think you should hold it out to your San Diego fans. How about that? If you yon again. Dude, it's been the whole show. It's been the whole show. And you don't want to be here. And the worst part is the fans like you. And that's what's so annoying. It's so annoying. You don't even love you so much. This is doing so much for your life. Right. So anyway. Pull the mic up to your face. It's just a one rule. It's not this ever. It's never been. It's right here always. Listen guys. I want to be here. All right. So here's the deal. All right. I just want to do

a group apology. All right. You have a tendency because I love you so much. I love you. We're like we're family. We are. To really dig in. Right. And to get me there. You got me there for the first time. Right. But let me tell you something. Right. It'll never happen again. You got it. No. It's not that I got it. Don't even do that. Right. What I'm just going to say to you is this. I am acting like a child about it. Yeah. About that situation. Right. And I am going to grow. I love that. I love that. And so what I'm going to say to everyone in this room is that. Listen up. Everyone in this room. All right. You know. Thank you for being involved in this project that we're doing. Right. Let's take one foot in front of the other and step into the future.

Let's do it. The bright future. I like it. And I want to say that I really appreciate everyone's energy and positive energy here. Right. And I'm not going to let you. Right. God bless. Yeah. Your psychological mental attacks on me. I didn't do anything. I understand that. But you know how to fuck. You know the way buttons. Right. And I know yours and I'm not going to press them because I'm a good person. I didn't press any of your buttons. Yeah. You did. And my point is this. Okay. Thank you so much. Gabby for being here. Thank you so much. Fancy. Fancy B for being here. You're yawning. It's fine. Do be you. All right. Right. And you like your rage eyes. It's not going to affect me. Let's move on. You want to

play a fucking program. Let's do another program. Let's go. What do we got? Let's do it. Let's play games here, man. I feel great. Okay. Okay. Okay. So Andre, introduce what you've got. Introduce what we got. So we, because we love movies so much in this show, we selected a few super famous popular movies in the U.S. for Rudy to tell us what the plot is about based on the poster and the title. This is great. Okay. But before we go into that, can I just mention something real quick though? Of course. Because I am the 50% of this. I didn't say anything. I know. But I'm just, for some reason, I have to, I mean, right now, basically, I'm Scorpion and you're Sub-Zero. I'm Raiden. No, you're not Raiden. I'm Raiden. You're not Raiden at all. How am I not Raiden?

Because Raiden's a good guy. I am Raiden. No, you're not. You're definitely like Cabal. Jax. You're not Jax. You're not Black. Yes, I am. I can be whatever I want. All right. You're Sub-Zero. All right. I'll be Sub-Zero. You're Chung Lee. Oh, that's right. I am. You're Chung Lee, for sure. And first of all, I would be Scorpion. He's the only one that's close to my color of red. That's true. No, no, no. I'm, yeah, because Scorpion throws fire, dude. I'm Scorpion. You're Chung Lee. Yeah. And you are... She's, what's Melanie? What's her name? Milena. Yeah, Milena. Milena. Milena. Milena. Any what, all this about movies is what I want. Let's go back to the movie thing that we're going to do. I had a discussion with Collin all the time because we mentioned

three amigos. And I go, I can't believe you haven't seen that to this one. And then Collin goes, well, she was born in this time, right? But it's like... I know who the Beatles are. Exactly. I hate that argument because it's like when I was, you know, a kid, right? I saw Citizen Kane. That was in the 50s. Right. Right. I mean, I saw... I know it on the waterfront. Young Frankenstein wasn't in my, right? I mean, I go for, I watch the classics. If it's good, everyone will know it for the rest of the time. Right. So it's like, you should have seen this movie already. Yeah. And you haven't seen this film. No, I haven't. Okay. So based on the movie, the poster, tell us what it's about. Can you zoom it? Zoom in. Yeah. What's the Shawshank? Well, that... You got to make it,

you got to figure it out. You have to tell us. Tell us what it is. It's about two guys. Yeah. In the military. Correct. That's what I actually know. How do you know that? I don't know. Yeah. What else? And then it's World War One. Yep. Yep. And then they... Yeah. What do they do? What's Shawshank? That's a war. That's a war. Okay. Okay. Okay. So two guys in the military, they are the ones that defeated the enemy in Shawshank. Yeah. Yep. And they freed the people who were in prison. Exactly. That's actually right. That's exactly right. That's actually right. Yeah. And the guy on the right is... Morgan Fried. Yeah, I know that. The guy on the right, his name in the movie is... It's a dead giveaway. It's a nickname based after what they

used to call him when he was a kid. They would look at his picture. They would call him... The Sean. The Sean. The Sean. The Sean. Yeah. The Sean. And the guy on the left, his nickname or... Well, his name in the movie is his nickname. And he looks like... Nick. Nick. Nick and The Sean. Nick and The Sean. They're in the Shawshank war. Yep. Right. They go in. They liberate the town. Yeah. Free the guys from the prison. Right. Look at the bottom one happen. See that? That right there is the moment that you need... What is that? What is that? Titanic? Yeah. It's a Titanic. Exactly. So this is crazy. You're not going to believe this, but that scene from the Titanic was actually in this movie first. They did that scene in this movie. Yeah. And then the Titanic

stole it. So it's an homage to World War I. He's actually on a boat. He's on the head of a boat, because you know, Shawshank, right? The war. The war is... Shawshank is an island. I don't know if you know this. Right. So he's on the boat. It's close to where you grew up, by the way. I'm the king of the world. He says that. I'm the king of this world. Nick. So Nick, right? Is his name? Nick said it. Yeah. Nick goes, I'm the king of the world, right? And right there. Does that look like rain? It's not. You know what it is? Blood. It's bullets and blood. Bullets and blood. Bullets and blood. I'm the king of the world. It's a crazy, it's a crazy scene. It's kind of like Scarface when he was like, you know, when he's getting shot up on the back. She doesn't see Scarface. Really?

Yeah. Holy shit. Okay. Have you seen this movie? This one, of course, is an American classic called The Godfather. Godfather, of course, is about what? What is it about? I've heard about it. Yes. Yeah. Yes. Is it about like gangster? Yeah. Yeah. There we go. It is. And that. And he is a mafia. Yeah, a mafia. And what's his name? The actor's name? I mean, that's next to impossible. You do know who's that actor. You've seen him before. Yeah, he's European. Eastern European. He looks like Joaquin Phoenix. His name is Joaquin. That's actually good. His first name is Joaquin. But his last name is in Phoenix. His last name is Joaquin. Cher Linger. Cher Linger. Joaquin Cher Linger. And he plays in the movie. The Father. The Godfather. The Godfather. Very good.

Now, at the bottom, it says I'm going to make him an offer. He can't refuse. Who did he make the offer to? Who did Joaquin Cher Linger make an offer to? The father. The father. The other father. Because there's more than one father. Of course there is. Well, you have the Godfather, right? Yeah. The regular father. But other clans of other fathers. So there's another father and he goes, you know, I'm going to make you an offer that you can't refuse. Do you know what the offer was? What's the offer? The offer was. From the Godfather to the father. What was it? To save the niece or he dies. Save the niece. Or he dies. Exactly. He did say, I'm going to you better. In the movie, he said I'm going to make him save the niece or he dies. That was one of the scenes.

That's very good. Very good. You're actually two for two. Ah, another classic. Do you know Clint Eastwood is? Do you know who that man is? No, but is his son the one in Suicide Squad? I forgot. He's also handsome. Jared Leto. No. That's right. Yes. What's his son's name? What's his son's name? That guy. That guy. That's exactly right. That's Clint Eastwood's son. Oh, it's also Clint Eastwood. Yeah, his name is Clint Eastwood too. Right. Clint Eastwood Jr. Clint Eastwood Jr. So let's go back to the good but the ugly. What is this movie about? Cowboys. Exactly. But what does this mean, the good, the bad and the ugly? There's a good cowboy. There's a bad. There's an ugly cowboy. Exactly. Exactly. That's kind of like this show. Exactly like this show.

Okay, next one. This is what a classic. What a good one. It was actually shot in another language. You know what other language it was shot in and then it was translated into English. You can see by looking at it. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. And so the guy in the center, what's his name? Well, there's, well, there's the names up there. So Robert, Robert Denier. So the guy in the center's name is Robert Denier. Yeah. The guy on the right. Joe. Yep, Joe. I don't, I can't see the Pepsi. Joe Pepsi. Pepsi. Joe Pepsi. And the guy to the left is Ray Lota. Ray Lota. Ray Lota. And Joe Pepsi. Yeah. And it's called Goodfellas. And what is it about? Also Mafia. Exactly. Yeah. What are the relationships between these three? Brothers. They're exactly their brothers.

Bled away. Triplets. And what is, I know you know it's a mafia movie, but what era, what's the time? Give us a time frame. Time. 1985. Right. Just about. Pretty much. Just about. 1985, pretty much. 85, 86. And what city does it take place in? New York. Exactly. New York. Where else but New York. And so, so one, one quick question. The guy on the far left, Ray Lota, him and Joe Pepsi had a falling out at some point during the film because the middle guy, Rob D'Niro, did what? What did he do to cause their falling out? Those two guys on the other side. The middle guy killed that girl, but that girl is. Those are old men. There's no girl, there's no girl on the floor. The one on the floor. Oh, that's also a man. That's a man. Oh. That could be a woman. That's a woman. Maybe they're

gays. Maybe they're gays. And we, and we know you would serve them. Yeah. Happily. Happily. What a film. You've never seen this either. Jesus. Wild. Great movie. So, Jack Nicholson. Yeah. Do you know who that is? No. Laker game? No. You don't know who Jack Nicholson is. Courtside Laker game? Crazy here? I've heard about his name, but I'm sure you've seen him in some social reference, right? You can't name any other movie that Jack Nicholson was in. Oh. So, one flew over the the cuckoo's nest. The cuckoo's nest. The cuckoo's nest. Now, what do you think this is about? He's looking up there and the sky smiling. Yeah. I think it's similar to a dumb and dumber. Yep. Yep. Exactly. That's a comedy. It's a comedy. Yeah. Right. And he. What happens in this comedy? What's

the setting in this comedy? Like, where does it take place? They're in prison. They're in prison again. Again. And then he finds someone who is dumber. Uh-huh. Pretty good. Yeah. They try to escape. They try to escape the present. But they do pranks. They do pranks. To escape. To escape. To escape. Far cags. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Home alone. Far cags. Yeah. A couple of BBs raining down from the sky. I like it. Next movie that you're honestly, you're killing it. She already saw this. I saw this. Oh, you did see Sansan. Great. How about this one? Wait, go back to silence of the lens. What is it about? It's about. She saw it, huh? We saw it together, yeah. Yeah. It's about a serial killer. Yeah. And wait, wait, I forgot. No. Yeah, it's a serial

killer. And then this girl investigates the guy. Is this the smoothie? What? I forgot already. The smoothie? What do you mean? Is it this movie where the girl interrogates the serial killer and then the guy escapes? I forgot already. Okay. You're not going to know the next one. Yeah. I mean, if you forgot that movie, as powerful as that was, something tells me you're not going to be able to just guess what Casablanca is about. Go ahead. Do you know where Casablanca is? Casablanca is at a casino? Yes. In what city? What city? Las Vegas. Las Vegas. And if you go to Las Vegas now, there's the beautiful Casablanca Hotel and Casino. And Spa. And Spa. Yeah. Yeah. And it's right there on the strip. I love everything. Right. Right. It's an MGM, I think. Yeah. And

who's in it? Bogert. Bogert's in it. Yep. Who else? Bergman. Bergman. Bergman's in it. Bergman's in it. Bergman the rapper's in it. Yeah. Henry L. Henry L. He's a soccer player. Yep. Henry L. Henry L's a soccer player. Henry L's a soccer player. So in this, in this movie, just a quick little thing, he's got a gun there. You see that? Is he protecting all those people behind him? Or is he out to get some of those people behind him? I think he's protecting the woman but not the other guys. Very, very good. Very, very good. Because the guy in the top right is a, you can see him over his hat. He's a. He's. J. What's a J? Jew. Yep. Yes. There it is. Yeah. He's Jew. Yes. Correct. That's what the movie's about. Yep. Jimmy's store. I've never heard of this.

Rear window. Yeah. You've never heard of this? Okay. It's, it's a guy. Oh, wait, wait. Who directed it? It says it. It says it. Alfred Hitchcock. Have you heard of him? No. He does the only movie he did. Yeah. He only did one movie and then he died in a car accident. Yeah. Right. So Alfred Hitchcock, we don't know much about him. Almost nothing really. Really. No one really knows much about him. He did one movie. He got out of film school. You know what I mean? So 15 directors turned this movie down. Right. And Alfred Hitchcock, this guy, you know, skinny guy. Brand new. Brand new. Young guy. Right. He directs this movie and he dies in a car accident. And what do you think happens in this movie? It's pretty easy to tell because this poster is pretty,

is pretty, it paint a good picture. Look at the poster and what happens in this film. The guy is stalking the girl. Yes. Exactly. And what happens to her? Look at that big thing on the right. What happens to her? Where? Look at the big thing next to him. What is that tall thing? A building? Yeah. So what happens to her? What happens to her? She falls. She falls. Because look at the blue in that. See the up there in the blue? Yeah. Right. Look at her blue dress. Yeah. He was a peeping Tom. He was spying on her. And her last line is, I shouldn't have stood so close to the rear window. And then dead. But maybe he pushed her. Plot twist. Don't give it away. Don't give it away.

Oh boy. Oh, this is a good one. We've talked about it on this show an awful lot. A lot of times this movie. Okay. You've seen this? Have you seen this? No. What's it called? Apocalypse Now. Yes. What happens? What's the setting? They're in Africa. Yep. Exactly. Well, part of Africa. How'd you know from the poster? It kind of looks like it. That's actually a good call. If you name the country, we can move on. What country does this take place in? In Africa? Nigeria. That's the one. Exactly. That's the one. And good thing he did. Here we go. Yeah. Look who's back. Who's that actor? Look who's back. Who's the guy? Who's the guy? Here's Rudy. I don't know. No, we saw him before. I know. I said, have you heard of him before?

Alfred Hitchcock. It's Alfred Hitchcock. It's Alfred Hitchcock. There he is. There he is. There he is. It's Alfred Hitchcock. And that's the Shinnon. Yeah. That's yeah. And now what's this movie about? The Shinnon? The Shinnon. Shinnon. It's not the Shinnon. No, it's Shinnon. Shinnon? Shinnon. No, the Shinnon. There's two ends in Shinnon. This is the Shinnon. This is the Shinnon. And in the Shinnon, of course. In the Shinnon, what happened? You can tell right away. It's so easy. Look. What's exposed on his mouth? You see his teeth, right? What's it about? Shitting. Yeah. Yeah. His teeth. If you go get a shitting, you're going to get your... What's a shitting? You're trying to make it out then. What do you think it is? This is one of those movie posters

where it's so obvious what it is. Yeah. You could just say it. Very simple. He either watches girls in the bathroom. Yes. Yes. Or he eats metal. The answer is B. Yeah. Yeah. He eats the metal. It's the metal. What's shitting? Yeah. Yeah. You have to watch the movie. You have to watch the movie. Yeah. Rudy, that was incredible. That's incredible. Give her a round of applause. That was amazing. Yeah. Did you ever see Gran Torino? I loved it. Now, could that come out right now? Is that a good... That would be a stop Asian hate movie that would get... I think that... Oh, yeah. That would definitely... But you know what? Get off my lawn, you Asians. Did you say racial epithets in the movie? I brought my parents to that movie.

You did? Yeah. And my dad goes... Halfway through the movie, he goes, I don't feel comfortable. Yeah. I'm being real. I mean, I didn't like it. Gran Torino's... I don't love it, though. Denounces anti-Asian slurs. Well, they use it in the movie. Yeah. So when we talk about this stuff, think about like this. Tarantino says the N-word in pulp fiction. What do you do with this? You're okay with it? Do they need to cut that out now because of what's going on? I think that... But who says the N-word into... Oh, yeah, they do. He does. He does say it. Yeah. He does say it. Pretty on the nose. Yeah, he does say it. He said, does there a sign on the outside of my driveway that says dead N-word parking?

Parking, yeah. Storage. Dead N-word storage. Yeah, storage. Yeah, that's right. Have you seen this movie, right? You did. Yeah, but I forgot about it already. It was a long time ago. Bring up the picture of the four cast members there, please. Who are they? Who are these people? The actors' names. John Travolta. Very good. And then the girl. I know she's in Kill Bill. Yes. Another Tarantino movie. The guy that right is... I think he was in a racing movie. I don't know. Yes. That racing, famous racing movie. Which movie? Fast and the Furious. Vin Diesel. Vin Diesel. Vin Diesel, right there.

By the way, he does look like fucking Vin Diesel right there. Honestly, he really does look like it. Did you fart? No. Does that... What, Rudy? I didn't fart. So defensive. Yeah. Because it smells in here. Did you fart for real? I didn't. Your eyes. I didn't fart. Because I think you did. Did you fart? Be honest. I promise. Because last night we had deep dish pizza and I can't eat it anymore. Why? Because you know, the one with the mozzarella cheese and then the ricotta cheese. Oh, so good. It's so good. I know, but I'm lactose intolerant. Take a pill. Maybe. Take a lactate. But she was taking a shower and I go, I'll just go to the bathroom downstairs. She goes, no, I like it when you shit when I'm taking a shower. What? Yeah. And I go, you do? I do.

Absolutely. Well, she's in the shower? She loves it. No, no, no, no, no. You guys are perfect for each other. Yeah. So I'm shitting and I'm close. And she's like, oh, that was a groovy one. She likes that in the same room? Yeah, it's crazy. Do you take showers together? We used to. We used to have. Have you? Today. Oh, yeah. We have. We do it all the time. But do you pee when you get in the shower? Oh, yeah. Do you pee in the shower? See me too. Andres, do you pee in the shower? No, we talk about it. No. We already talked about in this show? Yep. Oh, I didn't know. What do you do? Gav, do you pee in the shower? Yeah. Of course, everybody, everyone normal pees in the shower and I pee on her sometimes.

Thank you for being a bad friend. I wipe my ass from the back to front. You wipe like that? Yeah. Don't you ever get it on your balls? I think all I said is that's why he's a dick smell. That's like poop. Why don't you just get baby wipes? For some reason, I'm getting fat now. I didn't always do that. But this just started out. I know because I'm getting fat. So it's like, I can't get my little. Why don't you lean up? Get up. I can't. You can't get up. I can't get my hand to my asshole. We should get a rail for you to hold on to on the wall. I can do this for some reason. My ass feels like closer to my taint is very small, small, small taint,

small one. It's like, yeah, I can get my hand to my asshole that way. Right.