Bad Friends - Itchy Bones & Dream Catchers

Episode Date: September 29, 2025

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Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots? White dude and an Asian dude. You two are disgusting. Oh, you two are something. We're bad friends. Do you have metrics? Bebebe, BB, BB, Bebe, Bebe, birthday boy.
Starting point is 00:00:15 I go beep beep be beep longer than you're beep. Bebebe birthday boy. But birthday boy, die, die soon. Wait, no. 10 more year. Coma, coma, coma. Dad, dead, dead, dead. Bam-ba-b-b-b-b-b-b-d-d-d-d-d-d-all-m.
Starting point is 00:00:34 Shoot my face. Doodd-do-do-shot-gun face. It was all good. It was all good. Would a sing, dude? I can sing. Let me do your life song. Bum-Bum-Bum-Bum-Bum-Bum-Bum-Bum-Bum.
Starting point is 00:00:48 And he will not die alone. He'll have a fulfilled life with a beautiful wife and a couple of kids. And they'll go fly a kite down by the old. and one of his kids will walk out too far and he'll go what a birthday celebration what a beautiful beautiful and let me say something I appreciate everyone showing up to my party there was a part so we rented a bowling alley yeah mantros shout out to mantros bowl man yeah it was an intimate little setting awesome eight lanes yeah there are some people I was like why are you here well let me guess who
Starting point is 00:01:29 You know, but most people were like, oh. Pleasant surprises. There was a couple of people that didn't show up that I thought would show up, and I think maybe it's... Well, Paul, it did. It's too far, buddy. It's not far at all. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I have my dog, he said. Bring the dog. No, we already had love.
Starting point is 00:01:48 Okay. And then who else? It was funny because there was all these different camps, too. Well, it was the Tiger Belly camp and the Bad Friends Camp. But then there was also other pocket. of things. There were other pockets of comics. You had a lot of younger comics. Yeah, younger comics, open micers. How was my speech? It was amazing. You called everyone an open micer. A lot of people that weren't open micers. He called open micers. They were kind of open micy. I don't, that's a
Starting point is 00:02:14 subjective term. And then I did a speech. What did I say? Who did I mention in my speech? Of course you. Did I mention you? You mentioned me, Kalila. I was very sad. You mentioned me and Kalila and the bad. Yeah. You mentioned bad friends though before Tiger Valley. That is true. Yeah. Why? Why? Well, it's by ranking. Yeah, yeah. Colila did a phenomenal job. Phenaminous job. One of the most fanamulous jobs I've ever seen. And I also met the Big Bad Wolf. Oh, you did. I will blow your house down. Dude.
Starting point is 00:02:48 Ooh, ooh, ooh. Yeah. Dude, one of the nicest, coolest dudes. He was over today. By the way. Yeah. handsome. But my point is, is that great, let me say the rankings of gifts. Okay, gift ranking time. Okay, gift ranking time, dude. And I'm going to say this the most honest way possible. Please.
Starting point is 00:03:10 Okay. Not only was this gift the best gift of the party, probably one of the best gifts I've ever received in my life. And that's Gene Hong. He gave me these, no. Andrew, Andrew gave me something that was such a surprise. out of left field, right? Here's what, I want to be surprised.
Starting point is 00:03:34 You love a good surprise. Number two, it's got to have value. Financial value matters to you, yes. No, sentimental value. That's fucking bullshit. Yeah, yeah. Hello. We bought you 500-dollar Louis Vuitton glasses.
Starting point is 00:03:50 You go, I want the expensive ones. Yeah, and you got me those. We did. We did. We went back and got you. But here's the thing, okay. What you gave me was shocking. You didn't expect it.
Starting point is 00:03:59 it was the best I've ever got it. Can I tell people what it was? Of course you can. Yeah. He gave me... I gave him his own home kit to make a Chinese water torture and it's got all the instructions. It's so good. You can do waterboarding right? It's really cool. Yeah, it comes with
Starting point is 00:04:15 the mat, you know, that Braveheart, you know what I mean thing where he died at the end, that little, you know, slab. Dude, how fun. I see an infomercial right now that's like make your own waterboarding at home. Yeah. Timmy does it. Yeah, and then bamboo. you know me because you know bamboo the little sharp like the tips yeah you can stick in the pink right in the tip tip tip tip and anyway tell them what i got you for real i haven't know what's going on
Starting point is 00:04:39 but um he got me um well as everyone everyone knows i'm a big fan of arsenal FC it's a huge it's your favorite soccer team hmm the shoes the shoes are propping up the sign below the shoes are what shoes that i bought you let me see they're propping up the sign they remain in the box Which is fine Those are fine This is fine The gift you got me Way better
Starting point is 00:05:04 Well yeah Obviously So he gave me So Arsenal FC Their biggest star Of all time Was a guy named Tyrionri
Starting point is 00:05:12 That's right You got me A Tyrionri Signed Soccer card But it's a very A very exclusive Card
Starting point is 00:05:22 Exclusive card Hard to get For some reason You left The price tags on them I did not Yeah you did Yeah you did
Starting point is 00:05:28 I did not. I can take photos of it right now and I can show you the price tags on it. Really? Yeah. On every single item, there's a price. I must have forgot to take those off. So you know it is real.
Starting point is 00:05:42 Yeah, yeah, yeah. I must have forgot to take it off. Yeah. In bold, you know what I mean? Or do you have a price machine at home, like one of those sticker machines? I don't know because I googled it. Oh, you did.
Starting point is 00:05:54 I didn't trust it. It's a right about right. Okay. Yeah, yeah. And then he got me an Ethan Juanieri rookie card Now this kid is from the academy
Starting point is 00:06:03 He's only 19 years old He could be The next big thing You think he might be One of the greatest Arsenal players Of all time coming up? He's great. That good I mean he's one of the youngest starters
Starting point is 00:06:14 We've ever had Aside from Max Dowman He was 16 or something When he first played with 18 What Max Dalman? No, how old is this new rookie? Now he's 19 or 20 Wow
Starting point is 00:06:24 He's 18 This guy? Juanieri? Ethan Juanieri? Yeah, yeah, he's 18 years old. And he's, you think he's... Dude, he was on the first team. He played for the first team
Starting point is 00:06:34 at 16, 17 years old. That's disgusting. We have a kid named Max Dowman who debuted at 15, two weeks, three weeks ago. He can't even drive a fucking car. Yeah. And he's playing against...
Starting point is 00:06:45 They've never inserted their, you know, genitals into other genitals. You never know. I don't know how they... Yeah, I don't know how they... I don't use your personal story as a measure. Yeah. Excuse me?
Starting point is 00:06:55 Well, that's how you joined team. when you were a kid. Or they've never had caviar. Is that better? That's probably closer. Yeah, yeah. They've never had caviar. They've never had like, you know, snow beef.
Starting point is 00:07:04 I love snow beef. You know snow beef? I think I've had it with you. Yeah, yeah. You know snow beef? But wait, the thing I got you that I'm really interested in. And then you got me a couple of different packet of a set of cards. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:17 That probably will never open. Well, here's the deal. I'm told, and I have to give some love to the truth of this. Our good friend helped me. I went to was going to a store I ran into a good friend of ours Do you remember who I ran into? Did you go with him to there?
Starting point is 00:07:31 No, no, I literally random ran into him And I was no way, how were the odds? My hand of God. And I was like, he was walking out of one store next door These two cool, I'll show you where they are. Okay. Collectible stores. And I was like, I want to get a collectible for you
Starting point is 00:07:44 and he's walking out with his buddy and I was like, you have to be kidding me. Wow. And it's David Cho. Yeah. And I was like, dude, what are you doing here? He's like, what are you doing here? I was like, I'm coming to get a gift for Bobby.
Starting point is 00:07:55 And I was like, are you coming to the party? That's why when I showed you his family. Was he invited? Yeah. He didn't come. I showed you the text. He said, my kids, I have to. You know what?
Starting point is 00:08:04 I'm tired. You know what I'm tired of? Oh, God. What? He has kids, man. I'm tired of. That's the excuse. With anyone that has a kid, that's the great excuse.
Starting point is 00:08:15 I don't have the information if they're sick, if they're dying. You know what I mean? If one of them's in prison. Well, the kid, his younger kid is in prison. Yeah, I mean, they have a dying. hell right there's nothing i know itchy bones they're nothing itchy bones yeah yeah yeah itchy bones disease you know i don't know right it could just be like this is an excuse i don't want to drive all the way over there so i'm just going to say kids i think he really did couldn't because he was
Starting point is 00:08:40 upset by it but he helped me pick this no all right he he helped me pick it out and he said that box set he goes bobby's an addict i'm an addict he's like the thing i love about comic books and new card things is because it's like an addict, it's an it's an it's an it's an it's an it's an it's an it's an it's an it's an it's an said he said in that pack you can choose to not open it but in that pack could be a like one of 10 card that's worth 10 grand what's the card it's it's it's it's you'll know when you open it up because it'll have a it'll it'll have a special look to it of the oven arsenal it'll it'll it'll say the sticker on it one of 10 or one of number on it he's like you should open it he opens all of them You don't have to
Starting point is 00:09:22 Yeah But I think it's worth it Because that pack Because the price tag was on it Was 500 I think that's what it said Yeah $500 for just a packet of fucking But that's not the real price
Starting point is 00:09:35 You know that I put fake prices on those So how much was the Tierra Henri one? I think the Tierra Henri card was like 36 bucks and 40 cents And the the rookie card He gave me for free And that box said I think
Starting point is 00:09:48 Literally was 1999 I think I spent like 65 bucks Thank you Appreciate it I really do appreciate it No it was gonna throw them in a fucking No it was more You want me to throw them in a fucking fire
Starting point is 00:10:02 No stop it Look at me right now Yeah I will throw them in a fire Sure I don't care Are they the real prices? No No
Starting point is 00:10:10 I'm going to throw them in a fire Do it Okay because it's not worth anything The Henri one is Don't do that Why Please don't do that Yeah yeah yeah
Starting point is 00:10:18 That one was not cheap Please don't do that. Okay. But is it the right? Anyway, let's move on. But the rookie card was free. I will say, shout out. The guy was friends with Cho and he was like, he's like, you want to, he's like,
Starting point is 00:10:27 can I give this to you to give to Bobby as like an included gift? And I was, well, because we'd spent enough money that he was like, can I give you a free gift? Wow, that's a huge one. Well, he was super rad. That's the most excited one, an exciting one. Well, he's also a big fan. So he was like, is this cool. Wow.
Starting point is 00:10:40 If I give you a gift to him, I was like, that's fucking awesome. He owns the store. So he was like, I'm going to give you a rookie card. He goes, Bobby will know who it is when I said, okay, so I put it in the thing. It's so good. It's awesome. It was, you know, the Warnieri card was like a deep cut. And it was like, in my mind, I'm like, Andrew's doing research.
Starting point is 00:10:57 Yeah, you just said that. He says, I was being very mindful. I did some research. Well, I did research on where to go to get a collectible that I was looking for for you. So that is true. But he helped me with the other side. All right. Did I try to go to get a Tierra thing for you?
Starting point is 00:11:11 You know what I really tried to buy for you? A signed jersey from Tierra. I don't want that. framed on your wall in your room. I don't do that. You don't want that? No, I'm not like fucking... Well, then I'm glad I didn't buy it.
Starting point is 00:11:20 Like a Midwestern, like, oh, this is my man cave, dude. I'm alpha male, dude. Look, I got fucking Troy Aiken fucking signed whatever, whatever, you know what I mean? I don't like that. God, you're such a cuck. And a deer head.
Starting point is 00:11:32 I shot that in the woods when I was 17 years old. You don't like those fans? No. So you don't like anything? I love them. Okay. I'm just not that kind of guy.
Starting point is 00:11:42 I'm beta. You're very... Hey. You're very sensitive and soft. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Listen, you want to know the posters I have in my room? Sure. I have a poster of...
Starting point is 00:11:52 Depeche Mode? No, Peter Sellers and Shirley Maclean together. Framed, right? Okay. I have a photo of Brian Ferry singing. Okay. Okay. I have a photo of...
Starting point is 00:12:04 I have a really cool Lou Reed one on the street. I have a photo of Tashira Maffoon in his underwear doing a cheer. Hmm. Why? Is that at a party Or it's a posed photo It was at a party It was just
Starting point is 00:12:18 Like it was a candid photo Of him partying Yeah That's kind of cool Yeah What else do I have A couple of movie posters But you know I'm not
Starting point is 00:12:25 You know I'm not You know I have like a deer head On my wall I don't think that's the I have a dream catcher Oh that's close to a deer head Yeah yeah I have a little dream capture
Starting point is 00:12:33 Has it caught any of your dreams All of them Really? Have any of them come true? I hopefully not Because they're all nightmares Wait really? Oh yeah I have nightmares
Starting point is 00:12:42 Isn't dream catcher supposed to encompass your catch your dreams and put them back out into the world isn't that what i think it catches his nightmares well i'm pretty sure yeah catches them before it goes into your head like it you should know this dude you were on reservation dogs yeah did you not pay attention to anything that those guys said i never even shook their hands you never shook one no he's kidding i love them rank your gifts here we go let's get a gift all right so number one Andrew thank you number two i have to say jean hon what did he get you he got me um those um airponds that translate language.
Starting point is 00:13:12 No, the AirPod 3s that just came out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did you try it? No, they're still in the box. You're never going to use it. When I go to fucking Mongolia or something I would? When you're going?
Starting point is 00:13:22 I go to Mongolia every year. Every year you go? Is that where you go and you're... There's a hut out there, dude. I don't think you're going to use that. And I love Eagles. Big Mongolian Eagles. Yeah, yeah, I love Mongolian Eagles.
Starting point is 00:13:31 And their beef is good. They're delicious. Well, the Mongolian eagle meat is good. That's what Mongolian beef is, isn't it? Yeah, yeah. Sky cow. I have one those hand, you know, those eagle hand mittens. Everyone needs one of those.
Starting point is 00:13:43 Absolutely. Right. You know what? I also have, you know, how the cock's fight, cock fighting the cocks, the little roosters. I have the little knives and the elbow. Oh, the elbow knife? I have a collection of those. I collect weird things. But my point is, is this.
Starting point is 00:13:56 Let's rank down the fucking gifts. Me, Jean Hong. Right. And then, what did he give you again? The air pods. It's not that good. I mean, it's nice. It's okay.
Starting point is 00:14:06 Now, that being said, you know it's going to go down. Way down. Yeah. Well, so three was, I have to say Sarah Highland, my ex-girlfriend. Yeah. She got me some weird shit. She's cool. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:20 She got me this weird Japanese, it's like a vintage toy from the 70s. Wow. Right? And it's just like this weird Asian doll. She goes, let me take it out. She took it out. And there's a button and it goes, hi-ya! A little tiny Asian doll?
Starting point is 00:14:37 Yeah, that's a karate doll. That goes up to number one. Yeah, that's great. That's pretty cool. It's really cool. Yeah, and then... But it's a little scary. It sounds a little scary.
Starting point is 00:14:44 Yeah. Her gifts... And then... Just give me dead last now. You can't go four, five, six times. I'll go, okay. I'll give you dead last. And it's nothing against him.
Starting point is 00:14:55 It must be. It must be. So Sandy Danto. Oh, wow. He shows up two hours late. He was pretty late, but I think he had his thing with his kids. Oh, really? Kids again?
Starting point is 00:15:06 Well, he showed up. Yeah. That's big. It's bones. It's bones. Oh, my. kids have shivering eye disease. That happened. Yeah, yeah. I'm going to call Sandy's kid. I'm going to call Sandy
Starting point is 00:15:16 itchy bones from now on. So he goes, here, did, happy birthday. I know you like these. What is it? And I could tell it's dream water. You know what dream water is? No clue. Dream water is what you go to the airport and you can, you know, you go to like any of those stores. Yeah. And it's a, you know, melatonin-y drink. Right. Like, yeah. Right. And it came in a box, but the box was so tired and torn that I knew that he probably bought it 10 years ago on the road. Never gave it to anybody?
Starting point is 00:15:45 He's like, I know you liked these. It was like the most tattered I've ever seen any box. You know, I mean, it's like brown and, you know what I mean? I love that. And I was like, sat in his car. And I just like, okay, cool, man, thanks. Yeah, what did he say when he gave it to you?
Starting point is 00:16:00 Sorry, man. Happy birthday, man. Yeah, yeah. Dude, he told me he had 20 tattoos and he never used to have tattoos. I said, when did this happen? He goes, honestly, dude, I just started getting them. My wife and I wanted to get tattoos.
Starting point is 00:16:11 And then overnight, he goes, I filled my arms. His arms are filled with tattoos. I've never seen him. He had so many tattoos. He's always wearing, like, long-sleeved shirt. I know, but I was shocked. Wow. I think it's time for me, by the way.
Starting point is 00:16:21 I had a daydream the other day. To get a tattoo? I think it's time. I think a neck when has time. That's insane. Yeah, yeah. I love Sandy. Very funny guy.
Starting point is 00:16:31 Always long sleeves. Yeah, yeah. So he was wears suit coat. Look at you. Suits. He dresses so great, though. Yeah, the kid's got great style. He's got a great style.
Starting point is 00:16:38 Fancy, you don't have a tattoo either. Isn't it time to get a tattoo? No. Come on. Yeah. What are you going to get? I don't know. You have to dictate it.
Starting point is 00:16:47 Well, I mean, you love the bears. Not that much. Oh, let me think, let me. I don't know, a cute, just golf club. Just one little, yeah, but right here? Yeah. Smaller even. Maybe right there on my head.
Starting point is 00:17:00 And just thin. Yeah. Thin line. That's what I want. Yeah, yeah. Like your arsenal. I don't have an arsenal one. I'm going to get.
Starting point is 00:17:06 How about this? I thought you had an arsenal. I want to get one. I want to get an arsenal here. What are you going to get the cannon? Yeah. Yeah. And then you get a golf club.
Starting point is 00:17:14 We'll go, no. Yeah, that's pretty cool. That kind of looks like a scar, though. Yeah, it looks like a scar. Yeah. Too thick. It's also poorly done. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:23 What does that say? Papa? That's a little creepy. It's a little creepy. What if I write Daddy with a golf club? Yeah. That's for you. A golf club on your shoulder?
Starting point is 00:17:30 Daddy. Danny. What about your wife? Something about your wife or something. like something that reminds me of her on me Yeah or a little I'm trying to think of what that Do you have a little funny thing that you call her
Starting point is 00:17:43 Like pumpkins or? I do Yeah what is it? I have a nickname What's a nickname? I'm not saying What's up with this guy that killed this girl And they found her in the trunk?
Starting point is 00:17:53 I wouldn't even know It's so dark Dude this guy named David He's a rapper in L.A. They found his Tesla in a dump yard I heard And a year went by They found the body of this
Starting point is 00:18:05 girl he killed. A year ago, she was sitting in a car for that long. So where was the Tesla in his driveway? No, it was in a dump yard in a junkyard, right? Well, but they also interviewed the neighborhood, like the neighbors that he lived in there, like, oh, my dog would always like sniff at the car and there was a foul stench. So he kept her in the car for a long enough time. Then he turned it into like a impoundment lot. And it just sat there. And somebody, what a, what a bad, what a bad criminal. Well, let's not kill. Let's not. Don't do that. Don't do that. But if you're going to, but if you're going to, think it through. Think it through.
Starting point is 00:18:36 Yeah, yeah. Like, you know, you got to know, like the wolf in, um, in, in Pul fiction. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You need one of those guys. You call that guy. They take the Tesla and they crush it in that fucking crushing machine. And it's gone forever. It's gone forever, no?
Starting point is 00:18:49 This guy didn't do his due diligence. Yeah, you guys just leave it there. Also, I listen to some of his music because I'm not familiar with him. Good? No, it's bad. So they should get him. Yeah, got to get him. It's terrible.
Starting point is 00:19:00 Yeah. What would you do, though? How would you do it? If I was going to kill you? No, no, no, but how to hide a body. Hmm. Hmm. Well, you've obviously thought about it. So do you want to divulge? No, that's what I'm asking now. I've never even thought about it. Hmm. You know, so, you know, what does one do? Is there... Okay, let's say that here's a scenario. Someone attacks someone you love. Which one? Someone hurts your mom. Now, you're a renegade and you go to Arizona to kill this person. You find him, you kill them, you call me. Well, my brother would kill him first. How does he get a ride to Arizona? He has a car. It's never going to make it. I've seen that thing. It's brand new. I bought him, but... Wait. I just, I just, You bought him a new car? Yes.
Starting point is 00:19:36 Why'd you do that? It's my brother. Can buy me a new car? You have, my name? The car you have for me. All right, Jay Leno. You could buy me in Andre's a new car. Yeah, no, you know what?
Starting point is 00:19:45 Because that wasn't on. All right? And then to sign this. You know how annoying that is? I actually said to him, I go, you're going to need a new car at some point. He goes, I'm going to ride it to the wheels file off. His car has 270,000 miles on it.
Starting point is 00:19:56 But it so runs well, even though the engine light, check engine. But it smells in there because those cloth seats after like 20 years. There's so much stuff in those seats. How many times have you hooked up in that car? I don't hook up in my car. You've never hooked up in your car when you're in high school?
Starting point is 00:20:08 You never hooked up in your car when you're in high school? Macone. You never hooked up in a car in high school? You've never hooked up in the back seat of a car. I have, but not my car. You're a pussy, dude. You're a pussy, dude. You're weak.
Starting point is 00:20:21 You go in their car? Be a gentleman. Who's car? There's one girl at, after we saw a waymo. At the Americom. So funny to fucking a Waymo. Someone was the other day. You're behind a way.
Starting point is 00:20:33 If you're going to get come all over the streets. Stop, stop, stop, stop. Stop, stop. Stop, stop. Yeah. So let's go back to... He gives her criticism. My mom...
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Starting point is 00:23:06 My mother gets murdered Your mother gets murdered and you call me And you go, dude We need to We need to take care of this guy I have Already, already I wouldn't do that
Starting point is 00:23:16 You wouldn't call me No witnesses You wouldn't No connection I don't want to connect you To the crime If somebody hurt your mother I would
Starting point is 00:23:23 You would never help me Dude What are you talking about Is that really? You really believe that? Murder? As a friend, I wouldn't want you an accessory to murder. Well, if your mom is dead and you're going to go on a hunt to kill this person, this show's over, so I might as well fucking...
Starting point is 00:23:38 It's not over, because I'm going to get away with it. You're never going to get away with it. Yeah, yeah, I'm going to Google it. They don't. Check GPT hit. You're going to end up like David. No, David, no. You're going to end up just like David.
Starting point is 00:23:48 Really? He can dance. Yeah, yeah. You have no steps. He's got steps. Yeah. Give me what you're going to do then, the guy that you go to kill. Okay, give me the scenario because I don't even know what the scenario.
Starting point is 00:23:56 There you are you. Some random guy? Here's what happened. Your mom was playing Pai Gow and she took the table. She's good at Pai Gow. She's killer at Pai Gow. And there's a guy. Well, then, I have some questions. Is it an underground tournament? No, no, this is public. It's at talking stick, the casino right near your mom's house. She's at the stock talking stick. She's by herself? She's in a room at a piegout table. It's late at night. There's two or three people at the table. Who are the people who are on the table? There's a short, there's a short little tiny black guy
Starting point is 00:24:26 who's who's really good. Can he be Puerto Rican? There's a short little tiny Puerto Rican guy who's really good. He's in his mid-60s. Now it's fun. Now it's fun. He's divorced.
Starting point is 00:24:34 The second guy. Okay. Then there's another man there. A mysterious man. White. Got to be. A white guy who just moved to Arizona. He has an underdeveloped hand.
Starting point is 00:24:45 Both of his hands? No, just one of them. One of his hands is a claw hand. Not just claw. It's just like a nub with just two fingers. Two fingers. Like peace. And they call him peace.
Starting point is 00:24:54 Because every time he weighs, People think he's doing the piece of life. Yeah, peace, man. But he's just saying hi and bye. Okay, I like it. I like it. He's got one leg much longer than the other one, so it's hard for him to... Whoa.
Starting point is 00:25:04 Yeah, he kind of walks with like a... A little... Wow. Well, he's got good rhythm, to be honest. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's why he's the piece guy. People can see this guy coming, too. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:13 Well, you can hear his shoe. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so this guy has it out for your mom because she's killing the table. He's got his mortgage on the line. He loses it. He's waiting out for your mom by the car. He's smoking a cigarette. And he thinks, I'm going to rob her because she killed it tonight.
Starting point is 00:25:25 She made $50,000 cash. This is making me so angry. He tries to rob your mom, but he acts. Oh, my God. This makes me so angry. I know. What are you going to do? Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:25:35 Well, I'm setting you up. What do you do now? Did she die? Yeah. How? He pushed her. She fell. Oh, that's it.
Starting point is 00:25:44 She's 100 years old. Oh, yeah. Okay. And then, so how do I know about it? It breaks on the news. In Arizona, an elderly. Du-du-pud-pud-pud-pud-pud-pud-pud-pud-pud-pud-pud-pud-pud-pud-pud-pud-pud-pud-pah-bby-mum. Welcome back to the evening hour tonight. A woman was killed out at talking-stick.
Starting point is 00:26:22 That's good. She was killed in the parking lot of the talking stick casino This is the suspect on the run Photo up You see where he is He's somewhere in rural northern Arizona What's the photo look like?
Starting point is 00:26:35 He's leaning Well it's peace We know what he looks like Yeah yeah yeah yeah He's seen last in Flagstaff northern Arizona His name is Doug Peace McGovern Doug Peace McGovern If you have any information about him
Starting point is 00:26:45 Please call the Arizona hotline The first thing I would do is call my brother Not you Wow Because you're not gonna help me murder I don't think you're I think you're grossly underestimating what I would do for you I really think you are
Starting point is 00:26:58 but that's fine No no no don't change your fucking I'll call you If you don't want my help when you kill somebody Don't fucking call me Go to prison with me because we could do the pot in prison Really bad friends Bad friends live From L.A. County Jail
Starting point is 00:27:14 Yeah yeah And in the middle of the show Some guys like you boys ready for you Ready for lunch I'm like yes sir I call you Ding ding ding Ring ring Hey Bob
Starting point is 00:27:24 What's going on? Are you okay? My mother was murdered My mother was murdered Your mother was murdered Yeah It was just on KT Whatever the Oh my God
Starting point is 00:27:34 I'm so sorry I think his name is Peace McGarverner or something Are you telling me Peace McGovern did this How do you fuck do you know Peace McGovern dude It killed my mother
Starting point is 00:27:45 That's it I'm coming over Yeah what did he do to your mother Oh, yeah, I remember. I hung up. I know, but whenever you hang up, he's talking to the dial to talk. No, I keep talking because, you know,
Starting point is 00:28:00 you hang up too early. I do it. And I want to keep talking. Yeah. I spend hours after you hang up. I hang up so fast on everybody. I always love to hang up fast. Listen, what are you doing now?
Starting point is 00:28:10 You're calling your brother. Be real. You call your brother. I call my brother, and my brother already is going to be livid, like out of his mind. Yeah, of course. Somebody murdered your mom. I go pick me up. He picks me up.
Starting point is 00:28:20 We'll go straight to Arizona. You're going to drive or fly? If the cops can't find them, how am I going to find them? Do you have to take revenge in your own hands? Have you never seen Taken? Have you never seen... Yeah, but I don't know how to do any of that. I show up to this crime scene in the back of what,
Starting point is 00:28:35 Chopsticks Casino? What is it? Chopsticks Casino. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm wandering around. And there's the yellow tape. Yeah. You know, my brother and I have flashlights.
Starting point is 00:28:45 You come... Well, it's the lights are on. But I mean, you can have flashlights if you want. We have to have flashlights. Well, the lights are on. I have to have a pad. You should have a pad. A legal notepad. Yeah, yeah. And I'm dressed like...
Starting point is 00:28:56 You, right now. You're not changing clothes. I have to change. You do? Yeah, too. You're going to buy a suit? No, I have to change like Sherlock Holmes. Like 17th century English attire. Beautiful. Hello. Hello. I'm here. You know what I mean? We have notes, flashlights, and then it's like, what am I? I don't have the technology to get fingerprints, that. Let's say that you did find him. Okay, good. How do you kill him? A guy that kills your Okay, good. How do you find him? We find out his address.
Starting point is 00:29:25 How do you kill him? Oh, my God. What do you do? Well, first of all, I'm going to have to have a conversation with my brother. You can use that Chinese water torture kid I got by? Finally? Yeah. I'll come to use.
Starting point is 00:29:34 I would see him to my brother, Steve, all right? I know you're going to, I don't know why you have the machete, but I go, we want to torture him. Yeah, you got to slowly torture him. Yeah, yeah. Don't just go swinging. No. You know what I mean? No.
Starting point is 00:29:45 So what we'll do is we'll, well, I'll tell you what we'll do. Hmm. We'll capture him. Yeah, you got him. I'm going to rent a warehouse somewhere in Gilbert, Arizona. That's a big, I mean, right now the prices are through the roof, but yeah, it's fine. I would spend every dollar that I have. How many square foot are we talking to this warehouse?
Starting point is 00:30:05 I don't know about square feet, but probably 500 by 9. 500 feet by 9 feet. Yeah. Okay? Yeah. It's an odd layout. Narrow. But I do like it.
Starting point is 00:30:13 It's very narrow. It's a long hallway. 500 by 9 is a long hallway. Yeah, because it's going to be a lot of running. Back up. Oh, you're going to make him run back and far. This is actually very smart. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:30:25 500 by 9. If anybody can please draw this up, this torture chamber that's 500 feet by 9 feet. Also, actually very intelligent because the 500 looks like there's hope down the road. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But the 9 feet is, you know what I mean? Yeah. So he can, he's got a little bit of space. Well, no, but the 500 fluctuates.
Starting point is 00:30:45 Get shorter as we. No, it's like one of those, remember like in Star Wars that the trash can machine, the garbage, yeah, closes in? Yeah. Like that. That's what kind of looks like. Yeah, it closes in and out. That would give you nightmares.
Starting point is 00:30:57 Nightmares, dude. Like a long... Neon lights. No windows, though. And so what we'll have at the very end of that hallway, right, is a surgical table. Oh, a surgical table. What? I don't get it yet, but I'm...
Starting point is 00:31:12 A surgical table. I didn't get it, so I was like, ooh, yeah, that's good. Why is that there? Yeah. No, I'm no doctor. Neither. But I will hire a black market, right, a surgeon. Okay?
Starting point is 00:31:26 Sure. And I'm going to say to this guy, I go, I'm going to pay you $1 million. What? A million bucks to do what? You'll see. Oh, right. We're going to knock him out, right? And we're going to give him female genitalia.
Starting point is 00:31:41 Oh. All right. For free. For free. For free. Yeah. But he probably doesn't want it. Maybe he does.
Starting point is 00:31:49 How funny he wakes up. He's like, perfect. It's exactly what I needed Wow I've been gambling so I can get the surgery It's the only reason I gamble I shouldn't kill your mom Well I'm glad I killed your mom
Starting point is 00:32:00 Because now I get this Now I have what I want Yeah yeah yeah So you're gonna remove His genitals I think you make him genital list As a whole He has nothing
Starting point is 00:32:09 Like a Barbie's a Ken doll Right Or you can put anything As a genital replacement What could you put in Or it's no that's good But you know what's worse You give him no openings
Starting point is 00:32:20 Right So the pee and the poo It just gathers inside his body Stitch him up Like a hose Yeah yeah He just bloats into this poop It's a good horror movie
Starting point is 00:32:31 Stitch him up The beginning of death I know Yeah yeah yeah yeah We have the force feed him Well yeah a tube And you blend it To the throat
Starting point is 00:32:39 Right Right Tube the wet throat Can you imagine this doctor's like You guys got me doing way too much The doctors No he'll leave After the surgery
Starting point is 00:32:48 I'm a black market doctor but I have other stuff to do. This is what I would say to him. Dr. McMillalamo. Yeah, Malala. Mama Lalo. Mama Lalo. Dr. Malalo.
Starting point is 00:32:57 Dr. Mamalalo. What is he from? What? Dr. Mama Lalo? Somewhere in the eastern northern region. I'll tell you that right now. Somewhere northeast. From a different place.
Starting point is 00:33:07 Dr. Mama Lalo. Yeah, yeah. And I say, just put the tube in. I know you did the bottom surgery. Thank you for that. Thank you so much. Here's the money, right? Just put the tube.
Starting point is 00:33:17 Just let me know how to put the food into the tube. How funny when it breaks, you have to call him? You're like, Dr. Mama Lalo, the tube is un-disconnected. You're going to have to come back to them. Yeah. And so then once he, then we'll just, he leaves, and then my brother and I, for like a week, we'll just be feeding him. Wow. And watching him. Until he pops. Eventually, he's going to pop.
Starting point is 00:33:36 Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're going to film the pop and put it on IG? My TikTok, yeah. Yeah, TikTok, yeah. But what do you think of that? I think it's a great torture. And I would support you. Unfortunately, I mean.
Starting point is 00:33:45 All right, let's go to you now. If somebody killed my mom? Can I give you the scenario? Go for it. I know you're already building one up. Right. Your stepdad's out of town. Business trip.
Starting point is 00:33:56 Yeah, well, he's retired, but yeah, I got it. He goes back. He gets, he unretires. Yeah, he unretires. He gets a job, he can't refuse. What is the job? What is he doing? It's some sort of repair job.
Starting point is 00:34:07 I know he's not good at that. He loves repairs. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's like a plumbing, lighting, electrical. Big electrical guy. Yeah, it's a bunch of stuff. And they're like, we'll give you $500,000. jump action one day at work we'll fly you out first class wow got to do it but here's the ticker
Starting point is 00:34:24 uh oh it's not even real it's the killer luring your stepdad away it's a ruse it's a ruse he shows him in louisville airport right no one's there to pick him up right meanwhile your mom's alone at the house oh no yeah and there's a man that comes in what is he doing he's doing he's dancing i'll tell you that he dances into the house i'm so sorry to say it's pretty bold yeah Yeah, he does like a MC Hammer dance. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, right. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:34:57 And he has a tomahawk. Ooh. Is he native or is this? No. Oh, this really. It's very disrespectful. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's very disrespectful.
Starting point is 00:35:08 Right. That's cultural appropriation. Cultural appropriate murder. Yeah, yeah. Cultural inappropriate murder. Right. And he unfortunately throws the tomahawk at your mom's leg. mom's leg just slides the butt off
Starting point is 00:35:20 She's screaming Then he makes a makeshift tourniquet Oh no And then so she doesn't bleed out Oh he helps her Just to do more torture Oh no Then he has some sort of medieval mallet
Starting point is 00:35:33 My guy just pushed your mom down Your mom just broke her hip And died in the parking garage A talking stick Oh I'm sorry Jesus get it over with All right Just let me do one last part
Starting point is 00:35:44 No Anyway Mallet Pop up in the head Anyway, um, so then you get a call from the, uh, police, um, Chicago cops, call. Hey, we found a murder over there, your mother's house. What would you do? Your father's out of town.
Starting point is 00:35:59 We got to go, though. We got dinner. What would you do? Ooh. I mean, I definitely would take it into my own hands if anybody heard anybody in my family. You would be, it'd be, if you caught the guy, what would you? Let's just get to the catch. So catch, you got to catch first.
Starting point is 00:36:12 You can't kill because kill is too weak. You got to catch the guy. Look what I did. I know. You know what I mean? So I'd cut off. his feet. Oh, that's always a good one. A little nubby guy. Yeah, yeah. And then I'd slow, every single day goes by, I'd cut off each finger. So each finger slowly gets cut off.
Starting point is 00:36:26 Can I, can I have all the limbs? You, yeah, I'll save him for you. It's arts and crafts. Yeah, yeah. Bobby's waiting. I'll do something with him. Waiting on a FedEx. He's like, Andrew's FedEx is still not here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I did two day. Why would you ship me limbs two day? I didn't, I couldn't, same day was expensive. Oh, so I'm packing a nice. And then, and here's what I do. Cut off his little, oh, pack it a nice. Yeah, you think. I cut off a finger a day, cut off his feet, so he's got nubbies. And then eyes, eyes gone. That's always good.
Starting point is 00:36:53 Eyes absolutely gone. How do you put them out? With a spoon? Ooh, hot spoon, hot stove spoon? That's good. Hot stove spoon. Hot stove spoon. Scoop it right out.
Starting point is 00:37:02 Do you want the eyes or should I throw them away? Keep the eyes. Keep, I'll keep the eyes. Hot, hot, oh, an ice cream scoop. Ice cream is better. It's perfect. And then you fill it with pistachio ice cream. Each of his eyes is pistachio ice cream.
Starting point is 00:37:16 I'm just throwing it out there. Well, in case I get... Maybe Rocky Road, pistachia. Right. Oh, my God. So good. Yeah. And then...
Starting point is 00:37:22 You know, he'd be free. He'd be like, what the fuck? You mean? And then I have a... It would drip. It would be so itchy and just the coldness of the ice cream in his sockets. And he can't it out because his nubs can't... And then I have to cut out his tongue.
Starting point is 00:37:35 So he really can't say much. Keep the tongue. Nope. Cut it gone. All right. Ship that. Ship that. I'm shipping the tongue.
Starting point is 00:37:40 Okay. And then I'm going to get a tattoo artist. One of the best in the world. I'm going to get like Dr. Wu or somebody incredible. Yeah. You know? Capon D, maybe. Sure, Capon D.
Starting point is 00:37:48 Yeah. And they're going to tattoo all over his chest in an unbelievable amount of racial epithets. Like, you know, like a swastika, the N-word all over him, just like the most foul stuff all over his body. I hate blacks. Right on his chest. You could go further. You can. And then I'm going to drop him off like and die hard.
Starting point is 00:38:09 Right. Just like that. So he has no way to speak or walk or talk. Tell everybody what's going on, and I'm going to drop him off in the middle of the worst neighborhood in the world that I can find and let them eat him alive slowly but surely. I'll never make it out. But I'm also not killing him, and here's why. Why? Because you want someone to be able to have vengeance, because then that's a good movie.
Starting point is 00:38:31 That's a good second movie. If he comes back for me, now it's a film. Well, he has no eyes. They thought they killed me. And there's no nubs on his feet. They thought they killed me. I shake revenge Imagine if he came back
Starting point is 00:38:45 Yeah And he comes back for me Yeah That's another That's a second movie Yeah Like old boy Just like old boy
Starting point is 00:38:51 It's like old boy Wow What's a good idea We got really dark and deep there I'm so sorry Me too I hope no one ever hurts Anybody that we love
Starting point is 00:38:58 No No no we'll never do that But we will kill you if you mess with our mom Yeah just I think people can relate I think that's a no go Your mom is the one You can't touch the mom
Starting point is 00:39:08 Dad fine Dads, yeah, dads Yeah No, no one Sibling is bad too But just something about your mom Because it's your mom It's your mom's your mommy
Starting point is 00:39:19 Oh my mom's your mom's your helplessness Excuse me my mom's 80 And she's just laying there You know what I mean? Alone Oh my God makes me so ain't Oh there she is The sweet sweet lady
Starting point is 00:39:30 Yes what a sweet lady Okay good put it Hold on, pull that up again Is it was there two cameras Taking pictures of her? What do you mean? Well, she's looking one way and then the other way.
Starting point is 00:39:41 I feel like there was a camera. Okay. She didn't know which camera to look at is what it kind of looks like. Can I tell you something? So one camera was dead on. The other one was to the left. Can I tell you something?
Starting point is 00:39:53 This is something you don't know and I can call your mom, right? So when my mom was... All right. Can I be honest? You started that whole war three years ago. So my mother, when she was seven or eight years old, right, she had chronic pneumonia.
Starting point is 00:40:05 Okay. She got pneumonia all the time. Yeah, no, but she had this one sickness where her left eye the pupil went all the way so you couldn't even see it it wouldn't even the pupil went like out of it was it fucked her
Starting point is 00:40:18 up by her face so bad she went her eye went into her fucking what yeah it was like that when she moved to America but also growing up in Korea that's why it's the best country in the world they're fixed now almost yeah yeah so when she as a kid was teased and
Starting point is 00:40:34 bullied because of that eye she was yeah yeah like chronically it was bad. Well, thanks. I'm glad it's not the crux of the show. And then I know. And then I'll be finished, right? She comes to America and my dad had a little bit of money. And when she met him, he got those, that eye fixed. He said, I'm going to fix your eye. Yeah. So that's now the result of it. You can make fun of her all you want. I do. Yeah. I know. Yeah. Well, you make fun of me too. You make fun of my mom too. Yeah, but your mom's perfect. That's exactly right. Yeah. No, your mom, your mom got it all fixed out and I'm glad that it. No, but you still make fun of her
Starting point is 00:41:07 eye. And it's fucking crazy. Well, well, but you know, I have to. It's insane. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm Bobby Mom all the time. In fact, I go out in public, probably ten times a day that's been mentioned. And then you've got to go, ha ha ha ha, right? But your face is not really that happens. Your eye, look at the eye, and you're like, ha, ha, ha, good. I get it. I get it every day. I didn't know. That's not your mom.
Starting point is 00:41:28 By proxy it is. And I love her. I love her. I love her dearly. Yeah, anyway. I can't believe you never told me that story about your mom's eye, unless it's fucking. bullshit. It's not bullshit. That's real. You do bullshit stuff like that. It's 100% real that that happened. I mean, it's very traumatic for her. Well, it's terrible then. Why didn't you say that when we started
Starting point is 00:41:48 joking about it years ago? Because we're a comedy show and I thought you meant well, but now you keep digging and digging at my minds. I dig. He brings up the photo. Well, he did that. Yeah, yeah. You're like, look at that eye one way and I'm just telling you. Well, we love your mother. I'm the one that flew her out to see you. Yeah. Bring in a student. Let's see if we got a student that we want to chat with.
Starting point is 00:42:05 Rocket money. The amount of subscriptions that we had, you cancel through this company is actually very laughable. Okay, I had oatmeal. An oatmeal subscription? Yeah, I swear to go. I had oatmeal coming for months, like nine months in a row, stacked, right? And I had to go to Rocket Money. And that's where I found the discrepancy. The discrepancies. Yeah. Well, you need it because Rocket Money, Rocket Money's incredible. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors you're spending, and helps lower your bill so you can grow your savings.
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Starting point is 00:43:08 and reach your financial goals faster with RocketMoney. Go to rocketmoney.com slash bad friends. That's rocketmoney.com slash bad friends. True classic. You know when you look the sexiest? What, tell me. When you're wearing True Classic. True Classic is, honestly, it's so good.
Starting point is 00:43:24 Some of my favorite shirts that I own are from True Classic. And I mean that, genuinely, they're comfortable and they're well priced. And the best part about True Classic is you can wear them everywhere. I wear them to meetings. I can wear them when we're filming something. I can wear them here. You can wear them everywhere, and that's why they're so nice and sleek and comfortable, and they're very affordable, which is nice. And clearly people agree because people vote with their dollars, and True Classic has sold over 25 million shirts to more than 5 million customers and racking up over 200,000 five-star reviews.
Starting point is 00:43:54 God, that's so many. People do vote with their dollars. So the shirts fit like they should. They feel incredible and you don't break the bank. You get that tailored look without sacrificing comfort or blowing your budget. So forget the overpriced designer brand, skip the cheap throwaway stuff. Classic is built for comfort, built to last, and built to give back. I've been wearing them for a long time now, and the difference is very visible. You can find them at Amazon Target, Costco, Sam's Club, or head to trueclassic.com slash bad friends to try them out for yourself. That's trueclassic.com slash bad friends. This looks like she could be my little sister.
Starting point is 00:44:25 Yeah. You could be your daughter. We have the weasley, Joel. It's not my daughter. She's like 20 years old. Yeah, you're 40. Fuck, I am. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:34 You could have had her when you were 20. 22 i'm 42 yeah yeah shit dude you could have been how old are you 21 wow that could have been my kid yeah your daughter could have been my daughter yeah where's your do you do you know your mom and dad i do know them okay thank god talk closer into the mic and put you want the earphones on or yeah this is quinipiac isn't it quinipiac would you go to quinipiac for media studies or something film film yeah you want to be a director no okay actress no writer no producer no rigor no Keep going What'd you call her?
Starting point is 00:45:06 A riga, sorry Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah No, what, you can't? Rigger, you don't know what Rigger is, you rigs, you don't know fucking rigger? Yeah. A grip. No.
Starting point is 00:45:15 You want to be, oh, oh, I know, I do know. What? Wardrobe. Make up. No. You guys are missing like the other big one. I feel like you're getting... Producer, writer, director,
Starting point is 00:45:26 actor. Huh? Editor. Editor. Oh, my, that was a good one. It's funny because we don't value them. Yeah. Yeah, he's he is you want to edit things
Starting point is 00:45:36 That's awesome Yeah yeah yeah They're the best So you don't mind being locked up In a small dark room No I prefer it I like when they like Everyone goes on set
Starting point is 00:45:43 And they like deal with all the chaos And then they send it to me And then I sit by myself and I do it You like that you like fixing thing Yeah What's your name? Emma Emma Emma Emma is here
Starting point is 00:45:51 You're from Connecticut I'm from Boston Boston Massachusetts Boston Connecticut She goes from Boston but goes to Quinnipiac In Connecticut Which we visited your beautiful campus Yes it's lovely
Starting point is 00:46:01 It's a nice yeah It's all right What do you think of ballet? What do you think of L.A.? So, Emma, you, have you, have you gone to any nice restaurants? Have you experienced L.A. at all in a fun way? Like, yes, but no. We've explored downtown a lot.
Starting point is 00:46:14 We've gone to all the touristy areas. And my internship is in Beverly Hills. So, like, that's the only nice part that I've seen. Didn't I give one of your students money so they can have dinner? Yeah, that's what they're going to do that. I think we're coming. I think I might do that tonight. You know me?
Starting point is 00:46:26 Yeah, yeah, yeah. They keep coming because as a group, they should. They know you might give them money. Yeah, yeah. Emma, so the dream is to be an editor. and you know that this guy edits this show, this little fancy, and he does a very good job. Have you ever seen this show before?
Starting point is 00:46:40 I've seen parts of it, yeah. Yeah, parts of it. That means. That means TikTok. Yes. I know what that means. That means TikTok. We're big with kids on TikTok. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:46:47 It's like I don't have the attention to spend and watch like. Anything, really? Right. Well, you're an editor, so you spend time watching other shit. Exactly. I'm the same too. I don't watch whole things, including this show. I've never seen this show.
Starting point is 00:46:59 But that's not you do watch whole things. You watch films all the time. yeah but if i'm not a part of it i'll watch it right she's not a part of this the fuck are you talking about yeah young people her age don't watch anything anymore now yeah okay they don't like you don't watch film i like i do but i feel like films are getting longer see oh my they don't want to watch anything and oh what you're talking about and they're actually probably getting shorter i bet you like they feel like they're getting shorter i feel like they're getting popular ones lately have been have you seen dr zivago that's like four hours long they're getting
Starting point is 00:47:28 statistically you're getting longer on average oh wow Wow, you're right. And I'm not the only one. It's not like I have ADHD, but it's not just me. Well, look at that. They were around 90 minutes in the 30s, and then it went up to about 130 minutes peaked out in the 60s. Then it dipped in the 80s and the 90s, which I love, the 90-90-minute, you know, whatever. And back in the 90s, the comedies that were 100 minutes, perfect, you know.
Starting point is 00:47:50 But we are peaking, yeah. But then right now we're, no, we're kind of on average. We're actually going back down, technically. So boo-hoo. Sit around. Do enjoy a movie. I do enjoy a movie. What's the last movie you saw?
Starting point is 00:48:03 I feel like the group of us watched something recently. Oh, we watched Pitch Perfect, which is not. Brand new movie just came out 15 years ago. Emma, pitch perfect? Well, it was on cable. We have, like, the TVs in our rooms. This is going to make me sad. She's going to keep telling me how awful this place is.
Starting point is 00:48:21 It's awful. It sounds like a prison. It's nice. You guys have no money. Well, I'm an unbeat internship right now. They're 20 years old They're in school Yeah, it's tough
Starting point is 00:48:33 I don't remember So like you have a bank account Yeah Okay do your parents help you Bank account I don't know what the fucking deal is Dude sorry for swearing She has a bank account
Starting point is 00:48:41 Okay Do your parents Do you ever call your parents I can need money? No And they never give you money They like will offer it Sometimes
Starting point is 00:48:49 But I don't like to take it While you're one of them Are you making your own money now Yeah You are I mean at this exact moment No because my internship Unpaid's unpaid
Starting point is 00:48:56 But I've like Unpaid in internship Is it was always The biggest scam of all time Hollywood. We all did it, but it's insane. They're like, you do the same amount of work, but you don't get any of the money. You're like, when do I get the money? They're like, if we want to give it to you, that's crazy. McCone's been on an unpaid internship for a couple years now. That's pretty wild. Do you enjoy working for them? Yeah. Are you cutting or you're prepping and
Starting point is 00:49:16 stuff? What are you doing? No, I'm doing like a lot of internee like duties, which is like running the social media and stuff, but they're letting me like work on like giving like feedback on the trailers and stuff. It's really like good. It's worth it to have the experience. It's just hard living in L.A. because it's so expensive to not be making money. Yeah. Do you see yourself living here? No. Or New York? She's going to go to New York. She's the East Coast kid.
Starting point is 00:49:38 I like it here. I wouldn't stay here long term. I'd live here for like a couple years. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. What? Yes. People from the East Coast, they're so delusional and crazy. Can I, let me make my piece here. Yeah. All right. L.A. is the best city in the
Starting point is 00:49:56 world, I believe. Yeah, I don't think it's the best city in the world What do you think it is? Madrid's the best city in the world Madrid's pretty great In the United States Well, that's not the world Okay, let's just
Starting point is 00:50:08 Best city in the U.S. Yeah New York's up there New York is way up there Yeah, yeah yeah Chicago is way up there Yeah, New York's beautiful All right, Chicago's good
Starting point is 00:50:22 Look how gorgeous there But here's what it's the weather The weather is the best here Yeah, yeah San Francisco should not be on there Look at all that poop San Francisco is still great No, I love it
Starting point is 00:50:33 It's poop island Great restaurants But L.A., I just, I can't You'll never move I can't You won't let me I want to I know, very bad
Starting point is 00:50:42 You're staying here It's the hardest thing in the world Whenever I said this the other day My wife Whenever you fly here When you're coming back From the East Coast And you get to Colorado
Starting point is 00:50:49 They're like it's gonna be bumpy Over the Rockies It always is And then they go All right Strap in your seatbelts And we've got two hours left you're like two fucking hours yeah we just did two hours we got to do it again
Starting point is 00:51:03 yeah we're too far yeah that's my biggest problem with this place it's way too far not from hawaii five hours it's far from everyone okay all of the country is that way everybody's that way not my people you don't i'm your people uh hawaii do have you been to hawaii what have you ever been on a vacation a nice vacation yeah where'd you with your parents yeah where'd you guys go Puerto Rico. I would say it's the best at then. It's an island of garbage. That was really dead on. You know who that was?
Starting point is 00:51:38 There was a comic Tony Hesbeth. He joked around and called it an island of garbage during the... What was that? I didn't even know what that was. It was a rally. It was a rally. He called it an island of garbage. It was a joke. But it was at the... Island of Square Garden. Manus to Square Garden.
Starting point is 00:51:53 Hulk Hogan was on it. It's an island of garbage, brother. So your dream is to become an editor, have a family maybe one day? I do. Well, you're 21, so life is so bright now. There's nothing getting, she's so free. I wish you could, like, you know what I mean,
Starting point is 00:52:10 like borrow people's, younger people's blood. You stick around Hollywood long enough, you'll just, you'll get it. Right, you know, just give you a couple more extra year. That's why everybody's getting kicked off the air because they're all blood drinkers. They're all blood drinkers. I love that that's like a real thing.
Starting point is 00:52:25 I know. That people rumored. that they're like, they're drinking blood of babies. Yeah, I've run into people that said that... That's what the Hollywood Reservoir is filled with. I know there's a cabal and you guys are a part of a cult. I go, really? Mild.
Starting point is 00:52:38 And they go, and I always ask, am I in it? They're like, no, I don't think you're in it, right? Then I go, then I'll ask like, but what about so-and-so? No. But then you get to a port, like, what about Bill Burr? And they're like, uh... Because he's that famous? Yeah, but I'm like, yeah, he would never do that.
Starting point is 00:52:56 That's what you think Dude Baby blood is warm Baby fucking warm baby blood Dude I sit down for me This guy's giving me Fucking warm baby blood At noon
Starting point is 00:53:09 Do you know who Bill Burr is? Do you like stand-up comedy? Yeah I watch it sometimes We saw your show That was really good What show? At the comedy store Oh you guys went to a live show
Starting point is 00:53:19 Oh they came down the main room Oh you guys saw that Yeah it was awesome Not good I don't want to say that Yeah but We'll bleep it up Don't make her feel that way.
Starting point is 00:53:28 All right. Dax flame was so good. We love Dax. That was hilarious. I didn't see it coming. Emma, so we know your dreams. We know your hopes.
Starting point is 00:53:34 Yeah. You're 21 and you're living in the, arguably the most uncomfortable part of Los Angeles. In terms of walking around at night, you don't feel safe. Do you? No. Yeah, please don't walk around at night.
Starting point is 00:53:47 Yeah. We just met, but I really do. The things I have seen being here just like, what, it's been two weeks, maybe three? Yeah, it's crazy. And, like, I'll look out on my balcony.
Starting point is 00:53:55 Like, I saw, Someone with one leg throwing scooters at people Oh, that's Caleb Yeah, Caleb I love that guy He's actually very sweet Yeah, yeah
Starting point is 00:54:05 There is a guy Kind of near here That throws e-bikes into the L.A. River And then the fire department Was there yesterday And I talked to the guy And I talked to the firefighter I was like, what are you guys doing?
Starting point is 00:54:15 They had a hose out And they were training by they were He was doing hose training exercises Like unplugging and they were shooting Into the L.A. River And I go, what are you guys doing? He goes training and I go, What's up with all those bikes?
Starting point is 00:54:25 He goes, dude, the more we take out the more they keep putting in so we're not doing it anymore because these homeless guys they throw they find them they throw them in the fucking LA river yeah look that's them they just do they just huck them over the side like scooters and stuff
Starting point is 00:54:38 e-bike scooters they'll throw why because they're homeless and they're upset and they're yeah right that's right there by Frogtown wow dude it's I literally the firefighter was like we stopped taking them out because we would have to take them out it's a pain and then
Starting point is 00:54:53 the next day there'd be four more in there Wow. There's a homeless taking a stand against e-bikes. He had no leg? Yeah, he only had one leg. He was in a wheelchair. I don't know how he was throwing them. He was throwing them far, too.
Starting point is 00:55:04 He was throwing them like at people. He didn't reach them. They got good strength, those one-leggers. Just like the guy that murdered your mom. Peace. That's right. That guy was a bad boy. Maybe this could be the same guy.
Starting point is 00:55:13 Maybe. Also, there's a robot that's been stuck in my neighborhood. They weren't allowed forever. You know the ones that self-deliver? I love those. They all have names. Yeah, this one's Kenny. Oh, Kenny.
Starting point is 00:55:24 And he, and he, and he, he, he's been stuck at a light pole in my neighborhood and I don't know what to do but I but honestly the sun is roasting him all day yeah and it's dying now the light oh no like wally it is like wally it is like wally good I love the eyes that they put in well look it helps but yeah they blink yeah they do blink yeah yeah and the eyes are slowly dying I can tell it's dying and I and I want to help it and I always say hi I don't know why yeah you say hello when they let them go in front of me Yeah, me too. And I go, hi.
Starting point is 00:55:54 I like how they stop really abruptly when they don't know what's in front of it. And I always go, I'm sorry. Like, it doesn't fucking know. No, it does know. You think it does? Well, it's recording everything at all times. Someone's watching back some of that footage. I don't like those things.
Starting point is 00:56:07 I put shit in front of them or juke them out. You're a fucking... They're taking jobs from real people. No, they're not, dude. You don't have to tip them. Tip these robots out of here. Someone had to program it, fix it, upkeep. That's three jobs, right?
Starting point is 00:56:19 And that lost 50 people delivery jobs. You're an oppressor. You're an oppressor. That's how they felt like you. These robots are oppressing us. When immigrants started coming to America, they viewed it like that. That's a thing, dude. That's code.
Starting point is 00:56:30 That's a coper, dude. How is that not an immigrant? Yeah, yeah. Does he have a citizenship? One day, that's going to be a sentient being. His name is Jamie. He's not an immigrant. It's Jaime.
Starting point is 00:56:39 Imagine if ICE starts busting these boxes. Yeah. Today on KTLA, today, Ice takes down Jamie. Jaime. Please, no, just delivering food. Please, please, please, please. Nice try. Jamie but you know I'm the fucking
Starting point is 00:56:53 ground shooting that thing up yeah bad are there Waymo's in Boston no I've never seen one until I came to LA no when you saw one people don't know a Waymo is a driver self driver driver driverless car it's Uber without a driver it's a car just drives you they suck did it shock you when you saw it or no
Starting point is 00:57:13 it did I saw them at first and I just thought they were like weird looking cars and then I looked in and there's no one in there you know the bad news about this right Because we're Valley boys. We live here in the Valley. Yeah. They're coming to the fucking Valley by next year. But you know,
Starting point is 00:57:26 they're mapping it out right now, so it's happening. I wanted it only in the city. Fine. What's up with your fucking shit against oppressing fucking robots? Taking jobs from people. I was a driver. I was a FedEx driver. I support drivers and the working man.
Starting point is 00:57:41 Yeah, you're the working man. You quit after like a month and a half. How long did you do it? Well, I worked until I got my unpaid internship, and I had to take all my FedEx savings and drive out here with the same car. Let's go back. Emma, I'm not a joke. Emma, do you like a guy like a Coney is close in your age? Is this kind of guy someone, if you saw him, would you trust him at a party? Would you go, I like this guy. He seems
Starting point is 00:58:00 trustworthy if you saw him. I mean, do you want honesty? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So the mustache is always a little, the mustache is always, it's always a little iffy. Yeah, right. But so far you seem fine. But he, but the mustache at, at glance go, you, what do you think? You think, perv, abuser? Not, not specifically him. It's just the idea of that specific. Right, but he is wearing. known for that. Right. Is he cute? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:58:25 Yeah. Okay, wow. Yeah, she has to. Yeah, I do. Why? Because we're here. It's, you know what I mean? She's just want to hurt his feeling.
Starting point is 00:58:31 Okay, okay. I think you are cute because I've had girls say, McCone's cute. Thank you, Emma. I appreciate you, but I don't want to fuck you. Don't give him anything. Say thank you. Thank you, Emma. You're the best.
Starting point is 00:58:42 Thank you. Give it Emma a run applause. Send in another victim. Let's see somebody else. Emma, I hope you make it. I know you will. You're going to be a great editor. You're going to make it.
Starting point is 00:58:49 By the way, if we need more editors, right? Yep. When she comes out here, if we need one. Well, you don't want to move to L.A. Hey, I can edit remote and I'm willing. We could. We seriously could use her if we need her for something. All right, we'll talk to you, Emma.
Starting point is 00:59:02 Okay, Emma, thank you. We need a guy. Oh, look at this guy. Oh, shit. We're getting two? Two, yeah, we have two for one. Okay, two for one. Two for one.
Starting point is 00:59:10 All right. All right. We're going to guess their names based on their appearance. All right. The guy's name is, he looks Eastern European. Yeah. Right? Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:59:18 He does look Eastern European, and his name is... Toke. T-O-K-E-T-O-K-E-Toke. You're toke, dude. And this young lady looks... Yeah, yeah. He looks like just an East Coast girl. Willow. Willow. Willow or Willow?
Starting point is 00:59:32 O or O. Willow, with the W-O. Willow and I get toke. Because you look very tokey. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And what's your real name? Ben. Close.
Starting point is 00:59:39 Ben. Yeah, yeah. And your name? Sam. I was close. Sam and... Sam and... Sam and... What's your name?
Starting point is 00:59:47 Ben. No, Toke. I like toke. Tokes, yeah. All right, Toke and Willow are here. Yeah, yeah. And you guys are Quinnipiac. How old are you guys?
Starting point is 00:59:54 I'm 21. 21, same. And then you guys are in the graduate program. Yep. What do you want to do, Toke? Um, I want to find, like, stable income. I gotta be cool. Oh, fuck, these kids.
Starting point is 01:00:02 You know, these kids these days, they want to work. Yeah, but it's a tough job market. I know I was being facetious. Yeah, no, it is very hard. I'm saying. I'm just trying to be, I was playing into it, Ben, you know. No, no. I'm supposed, I get it, Ben, we do.
Starting point is 01:00:16 All I've been told is it's hard to get a job. And how has it been? You know, I've just had internships. What are you doing in the world of film? I'm with Seven Eckies right now. Oh, you work with us? I do. What do you do?
Starting point is 01:00:28 You're interning? Yeah, I'm the intern there. Wow. Like Richie. I saw he was on the podcast other day. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't get any ideas, totally. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:00:36 You have thin fingers. I like that. Thank you. Okay. Is that like a good thing? It could be. If you're Chopin. Are yours?
Starting point is 01:00:42 Yeah, yeah. No. If we need you to pick a lock or something. Yeah, yeah. And how about you, Willow? What do you aspire to be and do? I've enjoyed producing. That's been a lot of fun.
Starting point is 01:00:50 You've got a producer. Yeah. You kind of have a producer vibe. You know why? She's even keeled. She's got that very like balance. But not a good one. Like Kathleen Kennedy.
Starting point is 01:00:58 Oh, really? Oh, yeah, yeah, like a whip. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My way or the highway? Secretly, she's insane. Yeah. Right now it hasn't flourished yet, but you're going to be a bull.
Starting point is 01:01:08 Okay. I'll take it. That's you. Do you have bully inside of you? Can you be mean? Look at that face. I ruin Star Wars. I think I've like raised my voice at someone once
Starting point is 01:01:24 Like not including like my brothers because of course But yeah jerk Yeah no I don't I don't like confrontation Okay I'm gonna have to get over that I'm gonna learn all right so you and I are working You're a producer Him and I are on a film set You have to be you have to scold us
Starting point is 01:01:38 He's a lighting guy right And I'm and you're we're behind schedule And I'm sound he's lighting And we're just chilling. No, we're just in the back alleyway smoking, you're mean. You need to remember trees? Yeah. Right?
Starting point is 01:01:52 You fell in that mud pile. Man. Um, excuse me, guys. Yeah, what's up? What's up? What's up, lady? What's up, woman? We don't have any more cigarettes, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, man.
Starting point is 01:02:04 The last one. You guys are done now. If that's okay, we're going to go back inside. We're going to do our job and we're going to have a great day. What? What? Yeah. Who are you?
Starting point is 01:02:12 Who are you? I'm the producer. what what producer I don't know for what we've reserved this film oh for the movie we're gonna yeah yes yes top dog top hire um so I'm gonna need you guys to come top dog that's you yep that's me oh that's me it's nice to meet you guys
Starting point is 01:02:28 but we gotta get back in yeah well you know what hey lady can I just say something please skip uh yeah thank go ahead we'll get there when we get there yeah we'll get to I have your paycheck so if you want that you're gonna have to come with oh you're extorting us oh you're threatening us okay I get it I could do this all day.
Starting point is 01:02:47 You guys want your job. We can do this all day too, lady. Pretty good. I got to go inside, man. You should be more stern, though. That was good. Yeah, I'm going to have to work on it. This is great practice.
Starting point is 01:02:59 Yeah, yeah. Because you got to do it like, you got to talk like you're one of us. So, like, look, I'll be the executive. You be, you be, you be smoking, you know? No, it's just you. I'll show you. Can Ben be in it? Yeah, Tocke can be in it.
Starting point is 01:03:14 Toke, you and Toke together. I'm going to show you what to do. All right, you're, you guys, you're out back and you're on smoke break. Hey, Toke. Yeah, what's up, Bobby. Fuck this project. That's what I'm saying. Right?
Starting point is 01:03:26 It sucks. Fucking, who would look at the Jake Jell-on-Haw. Hey, boys. Hey, guys, guys, guys. How are you? What's up, man, we're smoking? Oh, I know, I know. I love smoking.
Starting point is 01:03:37 Smoking's rad, huh? Yeah. Yeah, it's fucking awesome. Yeah, man. Don't you want to smoke everywhere all the time? Yeah, we do. We also want our privacy Me too
Starting point is 01:03:45 Tell me about it Right to me about it I told you to stand up for yourself Toke Toke tell him off Toke that's his name? Yeah Toke yeah Toke you're fired So Bobby I'm gonna need you back inside
Starting point is 01:03:56 Now or you're fired as well You flyer it? Yeah I fired You see how quickly he got fired? Why don't you? You see how that's how you do That's how you do it Yeah you just you bully him Yeah
Starting point is 01:04:07 And you got it in you Okay All right so bully us now Really fucking hit us hard Yeah yeah I want you to fucking just Make fun of us. You have to.
Starting point is 01:04:15 You have to. You're Kathleen Kennedy. You're KK. Let me say something. This movie is $300 million. $500 million. Yeah, $500. And, right?
Starting point is 01:04:25 We're behind schedule. No. Tom Holland's waiting on set. No. Yeah. Also, who else is that? Huh? And Tom Holland.
Starting point is 01:04:34 Tom Holland and, uh, and, uh, and what's the kid from fucking, uh, I don't know anybody's names. Yeah, yeah. Timitha. Zendaya. Zendaya and Timothy Shalamey. They've been waiting for days. We're camera operators.
Starting point is 01:04:46 Right, we're ops. We're supposed to be on it. We're supposed to be shooting. Aren't you guys excited about this though? So we're smoking now. Oh, okay, my bad. You know that produce? What's that producer's there?
Starting point is 01:04:55 Who, Linda? Whatever, that lady, that lady with a pair. Oh, the little blonde girl? Hey guys. Oh, here she is. Can you put those down now? No. No.
Starting point is 01:05:06 Cigarette tears. Tap cigarette. I'm going to need you to do that or I'm going to need you to leave. uh excuse me who are you i'm the producer what's your name my name's sam what's your guys's see tatam all right sam you can't go up you can't yeah she went my name sam very sweet you're not my friend you got to bully us yeah you go you go do you don't need to know my food name you let me stand let me just put this in the perspective okay i need like a note pad here's oh you need to ignore all of these notes this is all this is bullshit you're cleopatra right
Starting point is 01:05:42 And we're just dudes building the pyramid. God, that's so harsh. What? That's how you have to think, though. I get it. Right? We're just one of 20,000 people building a pyramid. You're the queen of Egypt.
Starting point is 01:06:00 Yeah, you're the queen of Egypt. No, no, no. To me, everyone's on the same. You're not going to be a producer then. That's not right. No pyramids will be built. No pyramids are going to get built. No pyramids are going to get built.
Starting point is 01:06:11 You have to be built. be a bowl. Yeah. We'll do it again. Again. Ready? One more. You know who I can't stand?
Starting point is 01:06:20 What that? That guy, Toke that we used to work with. Hey, guys. He sucks. Hey. I think, hey, guys, is he wrong? Hey, guys. Hey, guys.
Starting point is 01:06:30 What's up? Excuse me? Is that better? No. No. Guys, listen up. Guys, listen up. I have my job back.
Starting point is 01:06:36 Yeah, actually, okay, if you guys don't put those down, I'm hiring Toke. Yeah, that's good. That's good. Delke was really bad at his job. You could have toke. But okay, you're going to fire me? Yeah. Okay, we'll just claim racial discrimination.
Starting point is 01:06:49 How are you claiming that? Oh, Toke. You see any other redheads on set, Toke? Yeah. Emma! Emma is my editor, actually. She's in this, she's in studio. She's on set today.
Starting point is 01:07:01 Oh, she's on set? She's on set. My daughter's on set? Yeah. M-Dog! Listen, you're going to be a producer. You're going to be a great producer. Thank you.
Starting point is 01:07:10 I actually. really like it out here and with school because I'm trying a lot of different things so it's really great experience all around. And Toc, I got to tell you something. Yeah. Be careful out there. I will. Why do you say that to him? Because I want to say the same thing.
Starting point is 01:07:25 You can feel something, he's a little troublemaker. He's a little big, but he needs to stay careful. Why do you think of my trouble? Well, you wore a jacket and it's 96. And that was a little dead giveaway that something's a foot. And I don't know what it is, but I thought Toc came in here with a jacket
Starting point is 01:07:42 It couldn't be hotter Outside literally It's normally very cool In like the building So I want to like At seven it's cold And I don't tell you another thing Tocke
Starting point is 01:07:49 Your face is very peaky blinders Picky blinders Pecky blinders Yeah Like a hood rat From England Yeah Can you do a British accent
Starting point is 01:07:59 Toke? I don't think so Try That's you dude Tokes say I wish I say That type of Where's the party
Starting point is 01:08:06 Tonight? Where's the party tonight? That's pretty good Yeah yeah yeah Yeah, yeah. Very good. Paul E. That's the party tonight. Embody that character right now, Toad.
Starting point is 01:08:14 What are you trying to do again in the business? I forget. Yeah, embody that guy. I like to do, like, marketing, advertising. Advertising. Very good. All right, so sell me this show. You know, you got Killian Murphy.
Starting point is 01:08:25 It's a pretty big name. Right there. That's a great star. I mean, can I just say something? I mean, we're a production company. You don't open with whoever's starring in it. You need to know what the project is. What's the project?
Starting point is 01:08:38 Okay, so it's about these British guys. and it's it's not in the modern day it's like I don't know what time period it is that would be helpful excuse me excuse me can we have a little meeting he doesn't know the time period that's interesting he could just make it up in mind to us they're gangsters I know that
Starting point is 01:08:55 oh we're listening we like gangsters yeah we're listening yeah we love British gangsters yes criminal activities they do criminal activities so time period could it be in the future no it's like in the past oh it is yeah no how far into the past How far? Let's say the 1920s, 1920s, 1940s, maybe.
Starting point is 01:09:13 1920s or 40s. Big gap. Big gap. Somewhere in that 20 years. 1920 to 1940s, though. Oh, you do a lot of time jumps, though. Oh, time jumps, okay. And now the show takes place in where?
Starting point is 01:09:25 London. In central London? In 1920? 1920. Is that right? Dude, you got to pitch it. You lie. It does take place in central London in 19th.
Starting point is 01:09:36 Very good, very good, toke. You already lost the rule. That's over. Yeah, yeah. I'll pitch you this show. Okay. Ready? No, pitch me a different show.
Starting point is 01:09:47 Okay. That you make up. Oh, then I'm a new show? Yeah. All right, to all you guys are the executives? Yeah. Thanks for having me today, guys. Great to be here.
Starting point is 01:09:54 How's everyone? May I? Hello. Hi, how are you? Good evening. Oh, good evening. My name is Skip Lubawski. Mr. Libawski.
Starting point is 01:10:02 Mr. Libawski, it's wonderful to meet you and send your constituents over there. And introduce yourselves, please. Hi, I'm Willow. Hi, Willow. Your last name, Willow. my last name yeah what is it I feel like we're familiar maybe we met
Starting point is 01:10:14 Willow what's your last name Willow Evergreen Willow Evergreen Willow Evergreen Willow Evergreen anyway Sir what's your name Sir? Toka
Starting point is 01:10:22 Toka Toka Smith Toka Smith Toka Smith He also stutters He also stutters Anyway I will say Toka
Starting point is 01:10:32 I do appreciate the fact That your parents being very Anglo Smithians giving you a unique name I like that He's Bulgarian. Oh, he's Bulgarian. Let's move on.
Starting point is 01:10:43 So have a movie. What's the movie, sir? Do you guys like girls? Who reps you? Huh? Who reps you? Unrepped. You're unwrapped.
Starting point is 01:10:49 How'd you get a meeting? Toka? How did you get a meeting, Willow? Willow, did you schedule this guy? He has no reps. How did he get a meeting with us? Well, your assistant read my script that I sent in and loved it. You did Willow?
Starting point is 01:11:02 Yeah. Yeah, no. I thought he had something, and I figured he should. Miss Evergreen wrote it. Really? Yeah. Unbelievable because, you know, you bumped Aaron Sorkan. he's still out there in the hallway
Starting point is 01:11:11 I know anyway go ahead you guys like Girl Scout cookies we love we were talking about doing a Girl Scout cookie movie and what's your favorite flavor the mint one the mint one okay I like the peanut butter one you do Willow shut the fuck up
Starting point is 01:11:25 Willow shut the fuck up The movie I'm pitching was called Thick Mints Not thin mints and it's about a Girl Scout leader A very beautiful sexy thick woman who trains young Girl Scout women to kill men who have done her wrong.
Starting point is 01:11:46 It's almost like a female empowerment film. And all the while, they're selling cookies to make money to fuel their revenge on all these men that have done them wrong. My God. It's pretty great. You like it? They're young children that murder. No, no, they're Girl Scouts, but they're all grown women by this point. Now they're just avenging their death through the Girl Scouts.
Starting point is 01:12:04 So they train the children to kill? I don't know if that's going to market well. why toto express yourself why well um you know i don't think that's going to appeal to the general audience like child neglect well i like it yeah so this is hollywood at its finest
Starting point is 01:12:22 yeah yeah this is hollywood one guy in the room goes you're an intern shut the fuck we like it yeah we like it by the way great movie a thickman very good the girl scouts are trained to take to take revenge on men who have done them wrong amazing all right well we'll say thank you to to Toc and thank you to Willow. You guys are fucking amazing. We love you. Give it up for these guys. You can join the others. Do we want to take one more for fun? Oh, get them over here. Get them in here. Yeah, get them in here. Guys, you guys are the best. Thank you. And good luck on everything.
Starting point is 01:12:50 Hello. You're going to be Capote the rest of the time? What's your name? Oh, wait, let's guess. Hold on. Yeah. Her name is. Slovakia. Slavanka. Slavanka. And his name is. Tweet. Tweet. Slovakia and Tweet. Yeah. And your real names are?
Starting point is 01:13:13 JJ. J.J. Whoa, JJ. When we said tweet, I don't like your reaction. Got a little defensive there. What does JJ stand for? Jeffrey Jr. Jeffrey Jr.
Starting point is 01:13:23 Because your father's Jeff. That's true. That's the big J. You have Vulcan. What? A Vulcan. You have a vulcany vibe. Kids got great teeth.
Starting point is 01:13:32 I like that. Great teeth. Great lips. Yeah. Is that weird to say? Yes. Okay. I mean, no, if he has nice lips
Starting point is 01:13:38 He's playing him a compliment I don't think it's that bad Slavankia Slavankia, what's your real name? It's Gianna but I go by Gigi Pretty close Gigi
Starting point is 01:13:46 To be honestly that's Yeah In the world Slovakia Giovanna What's your history Like what's What European country
Starting point is 01:13:53 Does your family come from? Italy Italy, France I don't know exactly Yeah no one's doing 23 and me anymore After they sold all your day
Starting point is 01:14:03 Can you put your mic closer to your mouth I'm not allowed to do those DNA tests. You shouldn't do them. They're dangerous and silly. They have your blood for the rest of time. They can, like, frame you. They have your DNA. Oh, my God. You're afraid of getting framed. I leave my DNA in every hotel room I ever stay in. Gigi, are you afraid of getting framed? No, no. Do you have anything to cover up? No. Okay. Is she being honest? Do you think, JJ?
Starting point is 01:14:26 I think so. Yeah, okay. Well, I don't buy it. Yeah. What do you guys want to do in the biz? I want to go into editing. Do you want to be an editor as well? Tough competition with Emma, huh? Yeah. What about you? Um, I think I'm going to go. I think I'm going. I'm going to when the AD wrote. AD. ADs are great. Smart. That's very smart.
Starting point is 01:14:40 An organizational person. Your people person. Right? Maybe. Well, that's AD. You kind of have to be. If you ever AD something that I'm in, if you call,
Starting point is 01:14:50 if you call me in too early, we're going to have a problemo. What is up with their fucking, they don't know about time? They do. They don't. They do. Then why do I have to wait four hours?
Starting point is 01:15:02 Because they're lighting and they re-light and then they change where we're shooting. And you know how this fucking thing goes it's a nightmare who out of the crew hangs out the most well toke and i are have been roommates in college so toke and you go back yeah we go back do you like toke i'm a big fan of him you guys are good friends you guys do night whispers what you night whisper when you sleep and you you guys do night whisper you go tok it's more like what are you thinking about it's like talk talk Talk? Yeah
Starting point is 01:15:30 What you're thinking about? Grilled cheese sandwiches. Yeah. I really want one real bad. Oh, I wish we had a kitchen. You have a kitchen? They do. We do. We have a kitchen.
Starting point is 01:15:43 What? We have a fucking kitchen. Do you have cheese or cheese? There's probably no cheese. Wait, wait. Do you have a fridge? Yeah. They do. We have a fridge.
Starting point is 01:15:51 Fucking fridge? When did we get a fucking kitchen? Do we have a grill? Do we have a grill? They do. No. Oh, what the fuck. We have a grill.
Starting point is 01:16:01 No, he said, fourth floor. Fourth floor, we have a fucking grill. On the fourth floor, we have a grill. Right, so do we have cheese and bread? We can do it. Let's do it. Let's do it. Let's make it. Do you do that ever with Toke?
Starting point is 01:16:11 No. Oh, okay. You don't whisper at night. And who do you live with? I live with the girls, but I have... All the girls live together? Yeah. But I have my own room because there's three of us.
Starting point is 01:16:21 There's three girls. You all have your own room, obviously. Here's what we're going to do. I'm going to give you guys money. I'm being real. He is. laughing about. Okay. If you want to give money. Yeah, yeah. But you guys are going to fucking get dinner tonight. Okay. On us. On us. Do you have any cash on you? Yeah, I got cash in the
Starting point is 01:16:39 bag. Okay. I'll give you some cash. We'll give some cash. You guys are going to get a nice dinner. Okay. On the, we treat. What's that, like, what's, in your mind, what's a nice dinner down? Is there a nice dinner downtown that you know of? What do you guys usually eat, eating downtown? Because everything closes down there. But on the way from here, there's places, they go to Bob's big boy. I don't know. No, I know. Yeah. Yeah. That's true. We've all been, like, kind of cooking a lot. You cook a lot. We're, like, doing, like, frozen meals.
Starting point is 01:17:03 Frozen meals. Yeah. Cooking and frozen meals. Not tonight, baby. Right? And if you take the cash and don't get a meal, I'm going to have a problem with it. I'm not going to have any problem with it. You can do whatever you want.
Starting point is 01:17:13 No, no, not me. Your money. You're spending on a meal tonight on us. Thank you. You know, you're shady right now, Slovakia. What do you think first thing out of her mouth? She was like, I don't want them to, I don't want them to frame me. So she's obviously got some weird chick.
Starting point is 01:17:26 You got some weird trust issues, I think. I just got social anxiety. Oh, you do? Oh, I'm sorry. Well, I'm glad we put you on the show. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I didn't know you, well. No, this is a good exercise.
Starting point is 01:17:35 This is good. Yeah. We have anxiety. Yeah. You know what's great? You do what you wouldn't think. Oh, I'm anxious now. I'm full of anxiety.
Starting point is 01:17:44 We have terrible anxiety. It comes in different forms. We'll do some improv exercises then to get you through it. Let's do one. You want to do one? You want to try one? And you want to be an ADN. Editor with Emma.
Starting point is 01:17:55 That's right. Yeah, yeah. Let's do an improv exercise, okay. You're doing a TED Talk. Okay. Okay. So let me say. Atina talk.
Starting point is 01:18:03 Yeah. You have to be very confident. Even though we're going to give you a topic, you have to pretend you really, you're a professional. You know what you're talking about. Yeah. There's thousands of people in this room. They paid money and they're here to hear an expert on a topic. That's right.
Starting point is 01:18:20 Okay. So you're going to go up and you're going to say you're going to make up a name, you know, where you're from, and you're going to go into the topic for like a minute. And the technology. what's the topic well the thing you invented was uh you were the one that that decided that the box uh at streetlights that it goes wait or walk walk walk that's you yeah that's actually your voice the original one was your voice yeah yeah so you were the girl that invented
Starting point is 01:18:47 wait go walk walk that's you yeah okay yeah do you know what i'm talking about i have to talk about that for a minute yeah one minute one easy minute yeah so i'm going to introduce you, okay? Ladies and gentlemen, it lights down, and how about a round of applause for our presenter for this evening? You don't clap for yourself. No, you can. If you're really excited about your project. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I am. Slovakia. Slavonia. And I have invented something that you have all used in your life many times. What is it? I wonder what it is. What is it? It's actually the crosswalk box that
Starting point is 01:19:27 says wait and and it tells you to walk. That's what she invented. Okay. No, listen, listen, I'm serious. Think about this, okay? If this wasn't a thing, we'd all be getting hit by cars.
Starting point is 01:19:44 Well, we, not really. I mean, we can see the cars coming in red. No, no, no, no. No. We need this. This is a very important thing. That is in every city, in every state, and I'm everywhere. Okay, we have some questions.
Starting point is 01:20:05 We have some questions. Can we ask some questions? I like how we gave her a great invention and she somehow made it sound like it was not worth it. Yeah, yeah. Like for some reason now I'm like, God, that is not. That's not as much as I thought about it. It was invented for the blind. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:20:20 I mean, it was. You know that? It was invented for blind? Yeah, to help them get across the streets. Yeah. That's why you hear it go, q-choo, so the noises echo each other. so they can find out how far it is and where they're going.
Starting point is 01:20:30 But you hate blind people. You've said that on the show. The first thing out of your mouth is I hate blind people. No, you did a good job pitching. Very good. I actually really liked it. You want to do one?
Starting point is 01:20:38 Not really. I think you should. I think you should. I think you said she has social anxiety and she really powered through it. Yeah. And I applaud you genuinely. That was fucking great.
Starting point is 01:20:49 Gigi. All right, let's go, JJ. So, JJ and Gigi. Ted talk or no? Yeah, he's got to do a TED talk. And what did he invent? You two tell him. I did her.
Starting point is 01:20:59 Okay. Bubble wrap. Oh, this is fantastic. All right, ladies and gentlemen, your presenter for the night, JJ. Thank you. You know how, like, you order something and then it gets damaged on the way. That happens to me, yeah. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 01:21:18 Like human body? Oh, my God. Yeah, body parts always get dinged up. What if you had a wrap made a bubble to stop that? What do you mean? We made a bubble. We already have that. Bubbles they float and they pop, like little kids.
Starting point is 01:21:29 We already have that. Is this the guy that invented it? What does you do? What do you mean? I did bubble wrap. Oh, you invented bubble wrap? I did. Really?
Starting point is 01:21:39 Yep. They're not turning into a TED Talk. It's turning into like an answer question. What are you talking to the fucking speaker for? There's only two of us in this room. I mean, my God, you didn't sell any fucking tickets. Yeah, yeah. It seemed like a Q&A.
Starting point is 01:21:56 I get it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You invented bubble rep. And what gave you the instinct to invent something like that? Well, I ordered like a TV and then it shattered on the way. So I thought we need a better protection in like the postal system. Smart. Very smart.
Starting point is 01:22:11 Smart. I don't know why you're ordering TVs through the postal system, but outside of that, I think it's fantastic. Yeah. JJ, you're going to make a great AD someday. Very good AD. And you're going to be a great editor. Who's better to editing? You or Emma.
Starting point is 01:22:22 Be honest. Go fast. Go. Honestly. Don't even think. I haven't really seen much of her stuff. We need to have an edit. Oh, slam.
Starting point is 01:22:28 Let's have an edit off. Slam to Emma. Oh, that was a slam? Oh, I don't really see stuff that she did. Yeah, that's really, yeah. I don't like stuff that she does. That's a little down there. I mean, she's asked.
Starting point is 01:22:36 I just kind of don't want to see it. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I've seen it from afar. I don't think she's doing it right. A lot of other people say she edits, but I don't know that I wouldn't know of. I wouldn't know. It's not really my thing.
Starting point is 01:22:45 Yeah. All right. All right. Thank you so much for being on the show. Thank you, you guys. Look at that. They pass, did they get a grade for that?
Starting point is 01:22:53 Do they pass some sort of test? Yes. Let's say this. We, thank you for all your birthday condolences. Yeah, that was great. Can I say an honest thing real fast?
Starting point is 01:23:05 A truthful thing? No. It's the wrong word. Yeah. He didn't die. He died on his birthday. I want to say something genuine. Am I dumb?
Starting point is 01:23:18 Honestly, am I dumb? No. No, be real. Am I dumb? You're an artist. Why? Because I say, okay. Do you think I'm dumb? Yeah. You really do?
Starting point is 01:23:28 No, of course not. I wouldn't do something with you if I didn't think you were intelligent. Are you being real? Yeah, if you were a fucking idiot, I would be. I mean, I could freak, yeah. Here's the thing. I think you are what we call an idiot savant.
Starting point is 01:23:41 Meaning you're brilliant in your own very specific way. Yeah. And by the way, that's what makes you so special. I'm not smart, but I'm bright. No. Enid Savant refers to an individual with mental disability who also demonstrates extraordinary abilities in specific specialized area. That's fact.
Starting point is 01:23:56 The term is now considered outdated and potentially ableist. Did not know that. Instead, prefer to the more respectful term individual is Savant syndrome. Sorry. I like idiot. I go back to idiot. Yeah, you're an idiot.
Starting point is 01:24:09 I mean, that could also be a special name, Idiot Savant. Yeah, yeah. I just want to say this. I want to say thank you to everybody who watch my special white noise on Hulu and Disney Plus or wherever you get it. It's all over the globe on Disney Plus.
Starting point is 01:24:19 Hulu and North America, I believe. I want to say thank you. It means the world to me. I know the world is chaos right now. And I'm glad that we can make comedy that lets people forget about all of the nonsense in the world and just have a laugh. So thank you for watching White Noise. It means the world to me. Thank you.
Starting point is 01:24:34 And also. Thank you for being a bad friend. Thank you for being a bad friend. Woo, yeah. Woo, ooh, yeah. Woo, ooh, yeah. Don't know what I did you go Don't know
Starting point is 01:24:59 I'm going to I'm going to talk to get a boy

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