Bad Friends - Jake Paul Plays Volleyball & Our Worst Episode Ever

Episode Date: September 6, 2021

New Merch: http://badfriendsmerch.com Thank you to our Sponsors: http://shipstation.com code: BADFRIENDS & https://hellofresh.com/badfriends14 code: BADFRIENDS14 &  http://keeps.com/badfriends ^ http://buffy.co code: BADFRIENDS  YouTubeAudio Subscribe: https://apple.co/31Jsvr2 Merch: http://badfriendsmerch.com 0:16 Rudy, the party animal 5:24 Swimming with dolphins 8:37 Bobby's encounter with a school of jellyfish 13:52 Spider Shell Eyes 15:25 Ed Asner & Bobby Lee 22:34 Vignette or Montage? 26:38 Is CMT cancelled? 28:43 Our worst episode, part 1 34:11 Fancy is getting to cocky 35:40 Bobby things the Jake Paul fights are stupid 43:55 Our worst episode, part 2 51:19 Pulling out and leaving it in 55:00 Pleasuring yourself as a teenager 1:01:04 Bobby is 5 foot 2 inches 1:06:48 Indian Army's physical 1:10:36 Understanding gender and sexuality terms 1:18:52 Bobby & Andrew text Bobby's Mom another poemMore Bobby Lee TigerBelly: https://www.youtube.com/tigerbelly Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bobbyleelive Twitter: https://twitter.com/bobbyleelive Tickets: https://bobbyleelive.com More Andrew Santino Whiskey Ginger: https://www.youtube.com/andrewsantinowhiskeyginger Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino Twitter: https://Twitter.com/cheetosantino Tickets: http://www.andrewsantino.com More Bad Friends iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-friends/id1496265971 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/badfriendspod Twitter: https://twitter.com/badfriends_pod Official Website: http://badfriendspod.com Opening Credits and Branding: https://www.instagram.com/joseph_faria & https://www.instagram.com/jenna_sunday Credit Sequence Music: http://bit.ly/RocomMusic // https://www.instagram.com/rocom Character Design: https://www.instagram.com/jeffreymyles Bad Friends Mosaic Sign: https://www.instagram.com/tedmunzmosaicart Produced by: George Kimmel & Bryce Hallock - 7EQUIS Podcast Producers: Andres Rosende & Pete Forthun Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You two are bad friends! Who are these two idiots? Why, dude? I'm an Asian dude. You two are disgusting. Well, you two are something. We're bad friends. Who's back from Hawaii?

Who's back from spending too much time over there, too? She partied hard over there, too. Dude, I heard you raged, huh? Partied hard, huh? Yeah, tough guy. Huh? Who's a tough guy? Did you get tan, tough guy?

Yeah, look at her. Superwoman! Superwoman! Soul Brown! Wow, you had some fun I saw on the Internet how much fun you had. Yeah. Did you love Hawaii or what? I want to move there.

You want to move to Hawaii? You want to move to Hawaii, little baby? Yeah. What job are you going to get in Hawaii? Yeah. I don't know, um, a lifeguard. Oh, they pay well. Oh, they do.

You can buy a house with a lifeguard fee. You can buy anything you want with your lifeguard. Yeah. Can you save people? I'll try. You'll try. You'll try. Look at this.

What's this? This is Jules at the party. Someone sent this. This is, uh, this was at the party in Hawaii. Yeah. Everyone's having a good time. Yeah. And Rudy Jules.

First of all, who the fuck sleeps like that? That's insane. Yeah, just sleep like that. Do you always sleep like that on your stomach? Yeah. Yeah, I like it. Really? Yeah.

Is it like a thing you did when you were a little kid or something? When you were like a baby, maybe? Maybe. Have you, you've always slept that way? Maybe in your, the before life, you were a turtle. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. That's why you want to move to Hawaii.

What did you do? You went deep sea scuba-surfing? You guys saved, you guys saved a turtle, no? You do? You saved a turtle? They served a turtle. We saw a monk seal, dolphins, and kept... Was it meditating?

How do you know it's a monk? Because I think Kyle said... Was there a temple? I mean, I don't, was there candles being lit? There was a Buddha. Oh. Yeah, yeah. So they're called monk seals?

Yeah. I wonder why. Are they peaceful? Yeah, they are. They're very peaceful. Is that what it is? They don't fight. They used to be violent.

The regular seals are violent. Right. And monk seals don't. They have no violence whatsoever. They're Buddhists. Wait. There's a video, there was a video of you online where you went diving and you stayed under water for like a good two minutes.

No. That's what it looked like. Yeah. You can hold your breath for a long time. I was actually surprised. And then you went kind of in a little cave. Was that scary? No.

See, that would give me so much panic. No, but Kalaila and them, they're real sea people. Well, yeah, they're, I mean, the islands. They're island folk. No, even beyond that, I think genetically, they're just sea people. You think you were born in the sea? Yeah. I'm a land guy?

For sure. Without a doubt. Without a doubt, I'm a land guy. You're a land... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Deep land. Deep highland. Highland, not even highland.

You should move to the highlands. Maybe. You don't like the water? No, but they've made me go in there before. Do you go, do you dive down? I try. What I'll do is I'll go, I'm going to do it. And then when I see them at the bottom, I'm already back in the car.

You're in. So I'll go deep. Yeah. Deep, during the bottom, I'm in the car playing some game on my phone. Yeah, yeah. That reminded me when you dove down and you were, it was like in slow motion. Yeah. It reminded me of, or made me feel how long the guy and octopus teacher used to hold his

breath for. You watched that, didn't you? Yeah. And then two nights in a row, I ate octopus. Good. It makes it tastier. So good. It makes it tastier.

It's so good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We went to the Korean barbecue place that you suggested and we had... No, did you go to Choson? Yeah, we did. And we had two kinds of octopus. And then, because I was with my friend, Emmy, you know Emmy? Yeah.

Yeah, from the movie. You remember Emmy? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like an octopus potato pancake. You know what I'm talking about? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know the name of it. But you know what?

Have you ever had that? Wow. It was so good. Did you like that Korean restaurant? Yeah. What are you talking about? It was so good. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Korean barbecue is genuinely... One of the best. ...up there of my favorite meals. Really? Oh, yeah. Dude, thank you. Because I just, I love that they tell you what different kinds of meat and she cooks it at different temperatures.

I love that. Yeah, thank you. Finally. What I don't like... Is the people. ...is the people. The people are annoying. No, the only thing I didn't like of all the Korean stuff was I don't like the macaroni

salad, the side bowls. Why? I don't like mayonnaise. Okay. Yucky. That's like... But they bring out a bunch of different plates, no? I know.

The kimchi was good. Yeah, yeah. The pickles, the spicy pickles. Yeah. Oh, that stuff was so good. I love Korean barbecue, ma'am. I do too. Take me.

Whenever I see, and maybe you can take this to the wrong way, but the truth is that if I see like that, the movie, The Cove, where the dolphins are being slaughtered in that bay. Yeah. I get hungry for dolphins. Dolphins in soup. It's really weird. It's like, I get hungry.

Yeah. Look at all that. Look at all that. You could just put that into a soup. You scoop it from the bay. Right. Right there. Or you just...

Or you learn how to make a... cut a hole. It really is sad. Have you seen that documentary? It's not that sad. No, it's pretty sad. It's really sad. But you know what? I...

I don't like hurting dolphins. But here's my argument, though. But you can hurt a lot of other things. When they say dolphins are the smartest seed mammals. They are. Right? They have sex for fun. Then why?

Like for me, it's like if I'm swimming into a bay and it's blood, there's blood, I'm going the other direction. Like, it's like walking down an alleyway and you see blood in alleyway. You see a guy getting stabbed. Yeah. Would you not... And he's like, go the other way. Yeah.

Just keep walking towards him. Would you walk the other way? 100%. So how bright are they, really? Well, they're going to save their friend. They want to know what... is he okay? Yeah. They're...

And can they do a different noise? Yeah, I don't like the... Do a different noise. Yo. What do you want to sound like? Don't make it... Don't make it... Don't make it...

Urban. Hey, man. Why? It's not... Maybe they... Hey, man. Maybe they won't... Hey, man, that hurts, dog.

Hey, what... What's that dog? See, don't add dog. It's a dog doing it. A dog is killing it. Yeah, that's why it's... Hey, man. It's a dog.

Yeah. I don't know. They do need a different noise. Do your dolphin. That's really good. That's... Wow, that was really good. Well, guess what?

Don't laugh. Who would you swim with? Dolphins. What? Did you... Yeah. Did you... Yeah.

Did you swim with dolphins? And there was a baby. Could you stand on their nose? Can they push your feet? Right? Isn't that what they do? Yeah, but we didn't do that. I did that in Mexico one time.

Yeah. I mean, I don't... Swim with them. You know what I do? Yeah. I ride them. You get on top? Oh, yeah, they let me.

They'll stop. Right, and I'll go... And I'll get on their back, right? Did you do... Right? In the blowhole? Well, that's how I get locked into the seat. You ride it backwards?

Yeah, you gotta lock in. Yeah, yeah, I get locked in. Yeah. But dolphins are fun to ride. But anyway... Wait, wait. Tell me how you rode. Did you hold onto the fins?

Yeah. You held onto the fins. And it's two dolphins, right? Mm-hmm. Yeah. In Mexico, I know this was illegal. Yeah. I know this was wrong.

In Cabo one time... Porto Verde, wherever we were, the guy was like... He's like, okay, he pushed with your foot. He pushed your foot off his nose. He pushed you. And I was like, oh, really? Is that... That's not gonna hurt?

And he's like, no, it's okay. It's okay. Yeah. And then I slammed my foot against its face. Why? No, no, no, not on purpose. Yeah. But to get in there.

Yeah. Imagine a pale red foot being pressed against your face. How insulting is that? Oh, by the way. And then I had to put out all this sunscreen. And the dude was like, no, you can't get it in the water. It's bad for the dolphin. And I was like, I have to have it.

He's like, no, no, maybe a little bit. And I was like, okay. Like 10 minutes. Yeah, yeah. Then I get in. He's like, oh, it's bad. And as soon as I get in, you know, the oil, you can see a pool on the top of the water. Yeah.

And he was like, he's gonna kill the dolphin. He's gonna die. Yeah. So he's dead now, dude. I killed the dolphin. I wrote him on the nose and then I dip my shit in there and now he's dead. Let's be positive. Sorry.

He's alive. Good. Now he's dead. Dude, you went to the cove. Yeah. I drank my... Well, I have a story that people don't believe that I did because they think, oh, how dumb are you?

Right. And that's why I'm afraid to tell the story because it doesn't seem like it's real. What'd you do? So I was with Kailah and we were in a Hawaiian trip, but then we ran into a school of jellyfish. So then I had bumps from the top of my head down to my feet. Wait, you swam into it? Yeah. You didn't see it?

What the translucent? It's a school. You can see a lot of them. I opened my eyes when I'm in the water. You don't? No, I'm like, I get scared. Do you open your eyes underwater? Yeah, we wear a mask.

Yeah, I didn't wear a mask. Oh, you should what? I was just like, you know, but everyone ran into them. Like you, Kailah? Everyone, right? Yeah. So we were with these two white dudes and they're like ocean photographers. You know, like the ones with the abs?

The hot guys. That's what I wanted to say. Yeah, hot guys. The sexy hot guys. Like surfer bros. Right. So we were all standing around. They're like, I go, I'm so itchy or that we're all you to do just urine.

Right? You have to pee on yourself. But I didn't know. So what they, they pulled their dicks out. These guys? Yeah. And they started peeing into a cup. Drink it.

Well, that's what happened. So I so what happened was no, yes. No. So I go, oh, I'm not going to do it with you guys. I'm going to go behind. So I went behind like a tree and I peed in the thing. And then I drank it. No.

And then when I came back, I saw them putting it on their body. And I go, oh, it goes on the body. And they're like, what'd you do with it? I go, I know that came out, you know what I mean? So I didn't, you didn't do it. It's in the body. It's in the body. Now when I tell that story, I told that story on stage and no one believed me.

I mean, I believe it. Knowing you, I believe it. You believe it? Yeah. Okay. Yeah, right away. Yeah. I saw someone get out of the water with a jellyfish sting and it was so bad one time.

It was huge. It like welted up their body. Yeah. You're lucky you didn't get. Well, the manoray. What's the big one called? Manoray is a stingray. Not a manoray.

Not a manoray. There's a big one called the box jellyfish can kill you. Not a box one. There's one called with an M. Look it up. No. Yeah, yeah. Paul Manafort.

Yeah, that's him. What's it? Yeah, Paul Manafort. Paul Manafort. You know him. Yeah. Jellyfish. Yeah.

Jellyfish. Jellyfish M, jellyfish, what? Oh, man of war. Man of war. Oh, yeah, the man of war. That's what I'm talking about. The man of war. Yeah, Portuguese.

Now click on that image. Look at how beautiful that is. I feel like you'd die from that. It's cool. No, that one you'll die. Well, they call it man of war. You should throw that in war at people. I don't know.

Why do they call it that, but it sounds scary. Why do they call it man of war? That is beautiful. Look at the colors in that thing. It's beautiful. If you touch that, you'll die. Right, Rude, don't you like that? Well, no, if you touch the stingers,

if you touch the fit up top itself, it's not that bad, if the stingers get you. You know what that looks like to me? Donald Trump's penis. I always said that Donald Trump's penis was translucent like that. Looks like a man award. Yeah, yeah. By the way, he would take that and spin that.

Here you go. Of course it is. Man award is the most powerful jellyfish. Just like my powerful penis. Most powerful penis you've ever seen. Why is it called that? Yeah, type, why is it called man award? It is very beautiful.

The colors are the purple and the blue. It's a beautiful one, no beautiful. That's what they say, right? Like the most poisonous things are the prettiest. It gets its name from the uppermost polyp, a gas-filled bladder, or pneumata. Is it dangerous, man? The part that sits above the water,

it resembles an old warship with full sail. Oh, it looks like an old warship. That's cool. That's pretty cool. But is it dangerous? The tentacles are the man of war's second organism. Sting is rarely deadly to people. No, see, it's not.

The most deadly jellyfish, the most deadly jellyfish. I wanna know which one that, there it is. The box, see? Yeah, the box is the one that kills you instantaneously. It does? Yeah, man, look at that. This thing from a box office could be enough to send you to Davy Jones' locker.

A watery grave. Wow. These things are so deadly that they say most people die from a small little sting. Yeah, but it looks deep in the water, though. Well, they'll come, no, it'll come up. I mean, yeah, it usually goes down. Look at its eyes.

Little eyeballs, huh? So wait a minute, time out, though. Back it up. You spent all that time in Hawaii. What did you do? You were gone for so long. Diving, snorkeling. Every day, just diving and snorkeling.

And spearfishing. Yeah, you guys love spearfishing. And guess what you did? What'd you do? I got three fishes. Which kind? They see spearfished three. Wait, what are they called?

Koles. Koles? Yeah. What is a Kole? What is that? You could just search it up, but it's like a small one. Kole fish, oh, like that. They look so cute, and you killed that guy?

Yeah. Did you eat him? Yeah. Was he good? Really good. Yeah, really good. They look good. That's the cutest sea creature on the beach.

Tell Pete so he can pull it up. Spider shell, wait. Spider. Spider shell eyes. Spider shell eyes? Yeah. So look at the, OK, so there's a shell right there, right? Not that one.

How cute. It's just a shell and a little eyeballs come up? Bro, how fucking cute. What does it look like? Look what it looks like outside of its shell. No, I don't want to. I don't want to, I just care about it. Yeah, show them what it looks like outside of the shell.

No. I like it in the shell. Do spiders, like there. No, do outside of shell. We eat that. You do? Why? Look at how cute they are.

You can't eat them. Look at the little eyes out there. What? It's like a conch shell. It's a conch shell, but they have little eyes coming out of there. I know, but I want to see the man inside. It's probably just eyes. That's it, just eyes, just two floating eyes, maybe.

No body attached to it. So you eat, are they good? Yeah, really good. Yeah, in the Philippines? Really? So how you crack them open and then they're like? No, you use like a needle and then you stab them inside. Ew, dude.

That's the spider shell. That's what they look like? Is that what they look like? What is it called, the thing that we're looking for? It's not called a spider shell. Just look at the eyes. Focus on the eyes and forget what the body looks like. That is cute.

I imagine you're just walking along the beach. You see a shell and you see the two little eyes sticking out there. You wouldn't eat it. Well, these eyes. I know, but they're savages, man. Time out. Let's say goodbye, goodnight, farewell, adieu,

to the wonderful, incredible, amazingly talented Ed Asner. He's gone. Do you know who that is? The actor from Up. Do you see my photo with him? Yeah, you did the thing that I hate when people do when they post a photo when somebody dies, like you ever gave a shit.

Bro, bro, bro, stop. So annoying. Stop, stop, stop. Here's the guy who died in me. Hey, this guy died and I'm also here. So annoying. What I did was annoying? It's so annoying when someone posts a photo of the guy

that just died, like they were best buds. But can I? Would you have ever posted that photo if he didn't die? No, yeah. Holding onto the photo until he dies. No, no, no, stop. Stop. That's dead stop.

Wait, the reason why I got the fucking photo, right? Yeah. Okay, there we go. There's the photo of Bobby with dead Ed. Okay, so did it. The reason why I got the photo, this photo is off of my Twitter. So I had already posted it.

Sure. And I screenshot it and repost it. Yeah. That's number one, okay? Number two, that wasn't my only encounter with the man. When did you, how did you see Ed again? I saw him before this. When?

So one day I get a call from the country music channel. CMT. CMT. Listen here, little cold reading boy. CMT goes, we're trying to do sitcoms. How about you, Tom Arnold and Ed Asner? Perfect, brothers, just three brothers. But, but.

Three men and a baby, what did they do? So we were in a hardware store, okay? And Ed Asner, I have an accent in it. This is back in the day when they made me just do accents. Yeah. Hi, my name is Posho, or whatever my name was, right? Which you love, by the way. I love it, yeah.

So they had, we only did a pilot, but the storylines with me and Ed were like, him and I would do, they wanted to do it edgy. So him and I would do a cocaine run and we're late to work. That's awesome. Yeah, I mean, in this hardware store. So I worked with them for three weeks on that.

Wow. And then I did that talk show with Tom Green. So I feel like I did know him. Did he ever say anything or reach out to you ever again? No. He didn't give a shit about you. No, but can I say this? Who?

No. Bobby Lowe? Stop. Who's Bobby Lowe? Can I say, can I stop? Stop. I don't like Bobby Lowe. Stop, stop, stop.

Do I know him? But. Oh, that little noodle? Would you stop? That little noodle, Bobby Lowe? Yeah, no, no, no, I like him. He's good. He do, but he, I love Bobby Lowe.

That dirty little noodle. He remembered my foot. What? So there we go. Remembered your foot? He remembered. You were disgusting your foot. My left foot was fungi.

Yeah. So when I did the pilot, he knew, right? And then when I did Tom Green's show with him. He remembered. He remembered the foot he got in the show. He goes, get that fucking foot away from me. I love that, dude. Okay.

And then afterwards, we went to Smokehouse. Love Smokehouse, right? That's my, you know that's my. And he had beef stroganoff. So am I allowed to fucking post a photo? No. Still no. Never then.

So if I died, would you post a photo? I would post, I would immediately post something and right looking for a new co-host of Bad Friends ASAP. I don't think you would. Yes, I would. That's ridiculous. That would be my homage to you. No.

What would I do? Post all the photos we have together on my phone and that's what it's, that's insane. I would post a photo of you and just underneath my caption would be end game. End game? Yeah. That's it.

That's for you. And the RIP Bad Friends. Oh no. Yeah, yeah. You can honestly rest a piece to Ed Asner. You of course you could post a photo. It actually was so cute and heartfelt and sweet to know that he was a big comedy fan.

A bunch of people have said he was big in the comedy. Like knew a bunch of standards. He loves it. And also I saw this video that I wanted to show. This is the best Ed Asner send off that I've ever seen. Okay, go ahead. No, go ahead. Look, this is perfect.

His nephew, I think grandson posted this. I literally just saw it pop up today and it made me laugh so fucking hard. That's Ed. Look at that. Yes. You have any choice words to say? Fuck you.

You want to say it again? Fuck you. Ah, I love you too. I love you too. What a cool guy. That's what I like about him. Yeah, fuck you. He's that guy.

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Download the free Anchor app or go to anchor.fm to get started. Oh, up to dude. Up is the, it made me cry so hard. That montage scene. You mean you're talking about the vignette at the beginning? The montage, they don't call it vignette. It's called a vignette.

It's a montage. It's a vignette. Google it. Montage is a compilation of scenes. A series of scenes? Yeah. A vignette is what? A vignette is something that's, it starts the film.

It's a little vignette, a little small slice. A brief. But what I'm saying though is. Look, a vignette. It was a small vignette. What I'm saying though is a montage, right? Here's a bunch of scenes. A vignette is one singing, the up.

Can I tell you something? Yeah. We're both wrong. Can I just defend my point though? But we're both wrong. There was a montage in that vignette, but it's a vignette. No, no, no, I know what you just did. I know what you just did.

Hello. It was a montage. Go fuck yourself. No, no, no. Because it's a bunch of scenes right through their life. Right? But a montage. Which makes it a montage.

No, no, there was a montage in that little short film. That was a short film up top. Yeah, it was a short film. It was a short. It was a short. It was a part of the fucking movie. It's not like the movie, there was a short film and then the movie started.

That's why it was a little vignette. It's done. I won that one. I can't believe it. No, no, no. There's a montage in that vignette. Anyway, whatever it is, that thing. The vignette.

The montage. It was incredible. It is incredible. The montage is a hotel. It's a met. The vignette is a thing that just happened. A vignette is like a sauce that you go on salad. So far off.

Okay. The vinegar you're talking about? I don't know. I don't know. But what I'm saying though. It made me cry. Can we just go with the thing that the point was? The point was.

The point was it made me cry. It was an emotional little journey. The most emotional vignette I've ever seen. The best montage ever. The best vignette I've seen in a film. It made me cry. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyone listening.

Rest in peace Ed Asner. Fuck that. No, I love it. Whoa, what the fuck? No, rest in peace, but let's go back to the montage vignette. You fans, right? Let's do a fucking poll. Is that opening thing, right?

A vignette or a montage? We would have to ask fancy. He'd be the only one that would know. You can't, these people, they're not film students. And see how denigrated and how it looks down to you people. A word that you don't know. Right? See how denigrating and how it looks down to people.

So what does denigrated mean? Putting down. Ripping apart. Pushing down. Listen, okay. See how denigrated he is to you? All right, so you heard it. You heard that somewhere, right?

In the radio. No, so I see what you do, what you're doing right now. You hear words and then you take them here, because I know you can't do them anywhere else. Can you imagine on stage, Bobby being like, when Bobby was a little boy, he was denigrated by his neighbor. Can you imagine doing your set and using big words?

Yeah, yeah. If you did your stand up and use big words, it'd make me laugh so hard. It's so sad that when you're wrong, you have to attack in that way. It's so. You using big words. By the way, that's a comedy I'm gonna pick.

You just using big words. Okay, stop. That's funny to you, Jules. You're grounded. Now listen. Oh, what the fuck? She'll go back to Hawaii. She doesn't care.

She doesn't care. Rest in peace, Ed Asner. We love you. We love you, man. I'm so jealous that you got to work with that fucking guy. Even if it was a shitty pilot, those are only a group of guys of actors that I want to work with,

because I think they're cool or funny. How do you know it was shitty? What do you mean? You said it was shitty. I know, but don't say it like that. It was a shitty pilot. It wasn't shitty. Did it go?

It didn't go, no. It was shitty. Yeah, who's... You think the country music station is gonna pick up a show with me, Tom Artle and Ed Asner? Yup. That seems like a home run. It does.

It seems like I would buy that in a second. Yeah. What shows are on CMT, by the way? What's the... I think it's dead now. The network's dead. It is? Yeah.

There's no more CMT. How could that be? Country music channel's huge. No, dude, Nashville. Look at that. That was a big show. He's still around as a network. Is CMT a network?

It's gotta be. Or, well, just someone bought it, maybe, and they just own it now. Let's just see. Wow. What? As of January 2018, approximately 92 million US homes receive CMT.

That's a fuckload. Yeah, it's still around. 92 million people have CMT. That means it's canceled. Country music is... Go back real fast. Okay, zoom in, and let's just try to guess what these shows are about.

This is how little we'll know. Zoom in more. What's Nashville about, Jules? Do you know? Rich people? That's it. Say no more. You got it.

Dude, perfect. Oh, that's gotta be new, because you know who those guys are? You know those guys. Dude, perfect. They throw a basketball off the wall and kick a fucking golf ball through a hole. Okay, what's Sun Records?

What's that about? Go ahead. I bet you it's a lot like Music City. Sun Records was a historical record company. Let her tell the show. Sorry. It's about teenagers trying to be singers. Yep, and what's Music City about?

Get ready. It's gonna be a similar log line. It's about adults trying to be singers. What's Broken Skull about? Come on, let's go three for three here. Gangsters. Gangsters. Such an easier joke there.

The easy joke would have been ex-inmates trying to be singers. Come on, come on. Gangsters trying to be singers. Thank you. What's wrong? With Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders. What's wrong with you?

I'm on one today. I know, you're hyperactive. My leg is killing me. Is that what happened? My sciatica is going nuts. Did you just sleep good last night? A little bit. I was thinking about you last night.

Like what? Because of yesterday. We can't tell anybody what happened yesterday. Let's talk about it a little bit. We can. So yesterday me and Andrew showed up here. Both of us exhausted for some reason. Well, I would shoot in all fucking day.

I'm so tired. And we turned the cameras on. And turned them. Fancy set there. And turned them right off. Yeah. Are we going to use some of that? Hmm.

Let's cut to it right now. Let's introduce today's Rudy. Only be out of default. Yeah. Because we tried to find somebody. We tried to find someone, but we could. The little one, we should ask the little one again. We should, but instead we got in-house.

Yeah. Yeah. This is like reusing something. Yeah. This is like a. You know, I was watching America's Got Talent today. Some reruns. And I thought to myself, Andreas,

he looks like a ventriloquist. Like the dummy or the person that does it? No, the guy that does it. Like a guy that would like focus all his attention on it. Okay. Can you do some ventriloquism? I don't know. That's pretty good.

That's pretty good. That was actually okay. Can you do it? I think I can do it. Hey, everybody. When you was Mopu-Morgensen, are you ready to party? What's your name? My name was Mopu-Morgensen.

I'm hearing Mopu-Morgensen. That's him. Mopu? Yeah, Mopu-Morgensen. All right. Let me do it. Hi, my name is. No, your lips, too much lip.

Hey, everybody, my name is Andreas. I know, fancy V. That's good. Is that good? Yeah. This one girl named Darcy Lynn. Darcy Lynn, I don't know who that is. She's like some young girl that got the golden bluster

years ago on America's Got Talent, but she sings, there she is. She sings. Oh, I've seen her. She sings through the puppet. Yeah. Everybody wants to rule the world. That's really good.

Thank you. Can you imagine? Do that, do that. Everybody wants to rule the world. She, at the time she was like, when she won at 12, but now she's like 17. Now she's 48. Yeah.

What a weird, 16 years old. I'm just 16, okay. She's gonna start dating people at some point, that do you think she brings the doll to the dates? Well. She's like, I'll have spaghetti. And I'll have soup. I know, but you know, so there was a black,

a black ventriloquist, one of the most famous ones. Who? Willie Tyler and Lester. Oh yeah, Willie Lester. Willie Tyler and Lester. Are you being real? Yes. Are you being real?

Yes. So Willie Tyler and Lester, right? One time I was on the road with them when I was young. Were you open for Willie Tyler Lester? Well, you know how the Lohia comedy store, they just puts people together? Sure. So like, I was just a regular and Willie,

so this old, you know, old black guy. You mean, who's, if you go to any, like back in the day, they had ventriloquist conventions. What? Yeah. Back in the Bay again. There was like a meetup? It was, you know, probably in the shitty hotel,

like the Hills and whatever. There's Willie Tyler. Well, it's a Willie Tyler. And Lester is his dummy. Yeah, Lester's a dummy, right? But he was the biggest one. So if you would go to a ventriloquist seminar, or like, I mean, a convention,

half the convention would be just drapes of him, photos of him. Because he was the king. He was a legend back in the day, right? Think of how much post that guy got from like- No, so he told me the story. The opposite? No, it's a post story.

Oh yeah. So we're in the condo, I'm like, what do you want to talk about? It's like two in the morning, after the Saturday night, after the show, right? You go, well, let me tell you a story. Did you do it through the dummy? No, no, no, not Lester's now.

Lester's in the case, in his case. How funny in the middle of the story he wakes up and he's like, let me tell you the story. So he's in his case propped up. Right, so he would tell me, he told me the story where he would go on the road back in the 80s, early 80s, and he would meet a girl and he had to have Lester propped up

on the bed. Oh my God. And just so Lester would just be, he's pounding away, right, and he's just like there. And he goes, some girls didn't like it. No shit, Willie Tyler. Yeah, if I was a girl, I would just throw it off the bed. No, what if some girls did like it though?

What if they're like, talk dirty to me, and he's like, yeah, girl, and they're like, through Lester. Or what if Lester had a dick? Oh my God. Willie pulled it down and he had a little wooden Pinocchio dick. Brrrrr. Yeah, and she's just blowing, she's just blowing Lester. He's like, yeah, you like it?

And Lester's like, yeah, you like it? Yeah. You like it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's so creepy man, to have that. By the way, do your dogs ever watch you guys have sex? No, we kick them out of the room. You do, every time?

Oh yeah, because my dogs. Sometimes they jump up and you just gotta let them watch. No, my dogs are protective over Calyla. So they feel like you're attaching her. No, so if I'm hugging her, right, the dogs go crazy. They start biting at my ankles. Well, you do look like you might smother her.

Come on, man. What if I see you on top and I'm a dog? I'd be like, I got out of her! Yeah, so if the dogs were in the room, they'd be biting on my neck and like barking. It would be chaos. Do you guys have dogs? I do.

Do you let the dog watch you guys hook up? No. Pull the mic closer to your face, Rudy. Yeah, you don't even know what to do. I mean, god damn, I've been here for fucking two years. I feel uncomfortable here. It's like, I feel like... We're uncomfortable with you there as well.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're doing a great job, though. Yeah. And we meandered for an hour and a half. It was so shitty. And it got to the point where like an hour in, we were both thinking it, but like we never said anything. And then eventually, it's like somebody,

I don't know who said it, but this sucks. We both did. There was a point where I go, this is bad. And you're like, this is really bad. But we walked away from it. And I'm glad we walked away from it. I think Fancy's energy there was, he's getting, this whole battle,

but this whole battle with George thing that he's got going on, it's put him in a weird place. He's getting real cocky. He's wearing brighter shirts. He's showing up a little bit late. Pete's doing, Pete, are you doing almost all the work now? All of it, all of it's dumped on me. Fancy's getting a little too fucking,

you know, balloon headed about the whole thing. Yeah, I trust Pete more. Why do you think that is? I always go down to an apocalyptic moment and you have your team. Your squad, yeah. Right? And immediately, Fancy would not be a part of it.

Well, he wouldn't be, what would he offer? Nothing, he's not gonna hunt or gather, complaining, right? All these zombies are so crazy out there. Too many zombies. They're gonna bite. My wife will eat one, you know. Oh, he don't, he don't beat me.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He complained the whole time. Get the fucking logs, like we told you to. We gotta start fire, right? You know, Pete, Pete would like, he'd come up with the stuff like he would behead two zombies, right? And walk around, you know how they did

in the walking day, walk around with them? Yeah, with their heads. Yeah, he would come up with things. Yeah, he's a smart guy and he's a thick boy. I bet he could take a punch. Yeah. If we got into a big fight, you know? Yeah.

He could you take a hit? Oh hell yeah, I used to box. Did you really? That's right. You think you can beat Jake Paul? Yeah, I think so. You know how Jake Paul fought Woodley last night? No.

You sad? Did you watch? It's a mockery of the sport. I mean, is it, I guess, I don't know. What is it anymore? For me, it's... You're a big boxing fan? It's not just that I'm a boxing fan,

but I just feel like it's like, you know, first of all, he fought, you know... Ben Askren. Askren as well, right? Before that, he fought someone else. That's not their skill set, right? I think that if Jake, you're tough, MMA. Yeah, but those guys,

we need to train for 10 years to get to the training that they did with... That's why, so he doesn't, he shouldn't win in a fight situation. I know, but that's why they say it's equal. That's why they're saying it's equal, because these guys have boxing and jiu-jitsu in their training.

It doesn't matter because it's like, imagine like... It seems fair. It was a pretty fair fight. It was a pretty fair fight. But Tyrone isn't using his skill set, ground and pound. I know, but neither, but Jake... Jake can't do it. That's what I'm saying.

So he's brand new. So they're both entering at a zero. They're all both entering zero. It's like this, it's like taking a guy that's a professional tennis player and another tennis player going, I don't want to serve. No, Jake.

So we're going to take that out. No, that's not true. Jake was never a fucking... It's like taking, this is like taking a professional basketball player and making him play volleyball because that's an element of basketball is jumping, right? And blocking.

Yeah, there's a lot of similarities. And then taking a guy who's never played professional anything and just trained to be a volleyball player for two years and you were like, go head to head. That's exactly what it's like. There's only some elements of the sport of MMA that make it into boxing. And Jake has none of the professionalism.

So he's just been training just for one item. So it's pretty even keeled. I know, but if... The fight showed how even it was. Tyrone Woodley is, his whole career is focused on... Yeah. He's not focused on just boxing, right? Right.

He's focused on jiu-jitsu. That's my point. But you have to take that away because then it would be unfair because Jake's done none of that. So it's only fair if they're both entering at kind of an even point. I guess my question is like,

why does Tyrone and Ben Askren even need to do it? I know for the money, but that's why it's gross. But what are you going to say? If somebody came to you and said, Bobby, we want you to do this corporate gig, this corporate standup gig on a fucking cruise ship. Nobody there is under 75 and they're all white and they all, and they are so fucking racist.

They hate Asians. I mean, this is called... This boat is called the Kung Flu Cruise. Okay. Right? So what are you asking me? And we're going to give you 50 million for an hour. Can you come?

And I'm no one going to bomb? You're not just going to bomb. They're going to boo you. They're probably going to try to attack you a little bit. Yeah, I would do it. Yeah, you would. I would do it. Money, they're going to do it.

It's money. Those guys, I don't even know what they got. What did those guys get paid? Can you Google that? I'm sure the fucking check that Tyrone got was like, insane. I mean, it sure was disgusting. How could you turn it down at some point?

Yeah, what did Tyrone and Woodley make? What is this? One website estimates Paul's guaranteed a million and we'll double that with a share of the pay-per-view money, Woodley, half that he got a half a million for the fight and then doubling that to a million after the pay-per-view money is counted. So he gets a million bucks, not including

all of the other bullshit, promotions. Those guys are making so much money on the side. And I think that's wrong. It's not wrong. It doesn't seem worth it. What do you mean? They made a fuckload of money on that thing. Tyrone Woodley, listen, Tyrone Woodley

for the last four UFC fights that he fought, he lost, right? Yeah. Do you know why it was like he's done? That's why he need this. I know, but it's like a sad ending to an illustrious career. But isn't that, don't we all kind of have a little bit of a sad ending? No.

I mean, you do. You're going to end up doing bad shit when it's all over. We all are going to make bad movies and TV shows when it's all over. I do those now. You're jumping the shark to your career. I want to do it now, but is it bad? It's not, it's like-

What would you rather him walk away completely from the story? OK, so imagine you and I, right? Yeah. And let's suppose a lifetime movie came out to you. We'll give you a million dollars to this really shitty, tasteless, you know what I mean? Lifetime movie, would you do it? No.

Exactly, that's what that is. But I'm not at the end of my career. He can figure it out. There's other things he could do. He tried. That's why he's in the ring. He's a good broadcaster, right? So he could have started a podcast.

Are you his agent? No. He probably tried a bunch of stuff, and he was like, fuck it, I'll fight this fucking kid. Even though he just ended his fucking UFC career. I know, and he must be a little bit nervous. Why is he jumping in the ring with this kid? I don't know.

Somebody has to talk to him and go, this is not a good thing, because he lost, right? I know, but yeah. Yes, yes, but no, but yes. But look at it like this. You don't know his private life. He could be blowing money. He could be in such debt.

Dude, I just heard a fucking rapper on the radio whose name was like Youngblood Yaw or some shit. And the fucking radio host was like, do you know he has eight kids by five different women, and he's under 40? How the fuck do you pay for all those kids? Right. You don't know his life.

He might have six houses, 10 cars. Pull out. I know. Pull out. I know. Keeps. This specific message is for Andreas. Are Andreas used keeps, because we told him to?

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the code Bad Friends. That's $20 off your Buffy comforter when you visit Buffy.co and enter the code Bad Friends. Don't follow Rudy. No. Do you guys follow Rudy? I do. You do, right?

Yeah, I follow everybody in the show. But today, Bobby doesn't even follow me. You don't follow fans? I don't really follow you? No. I will. I will. You don't follow George, and you don't follow me, so.

Oh yeah, what about the fucking shit I was doing for you for the last month? Yeah, that's true. You got so many followers. You got so many followers. You piece of shit. You're right. You are forgiven.

Wait a minute. You're forgiven? Wait a minute. Let me see how many followers does George just fancy have now? Can I tell you what happened? Because we can take those away, pal. I know. Can I tell you what happened today, though?

Yeah, what? $36,000. I was watching CNN because of the hurricane. IDA. Is it IDA? IDA. Yeah, I love disasters. Me too.

Don't you? Well, it's coming back, right? It's going to ruin the golf. Is it in New Orleans? So I'm watching the CNNs, and I hear Stubho. What? Stubho. Stubho.

Stubho. Like, not from the TV, though. My dog Stubbs is sitting next to me, and I'm completely naked. Just on your floor? No, just on a seat in front of the TV in the living room. I know, and I hear, Stubho. Right? So I go, what the fuck?

Like, I'm freaking out. And I look onto the fucking, so we have the TV, and there's like a cabinet underneath it. Yes. And on top of my PlayStation, there's a little white thing with a blue light on it. It's a camera. It's a camera.

So they're spying on you with your little penis on the couch. But all weekend, I was doing weird shit. What have you been doing? No, but what I do is I'll put on the music. Put on the music, right? I don't wear clothes, right? And I'll just start, you know what I mean? Dancing.

Dancing in the living room with the dogs and stuff? Well, who has access to this? Just Kalyla or? And I call Kalyla, I go, she's laughing. And I'm like, are you talking through this little device? It's like, yeah, we've been staring at you all weekend. Oh, God. And now I turned it toward the wall.

Good. Yeah. Wait, Rudy had to see you like that? I don't think it was Rudy though. I prayed to God she didn't have to see you like that. But it's like, tell me what, now I think. Why do they have those? There's other cameras in there.

There's got to be. Why does she need to spy on you? Oh, it's just for the dogs? I don't know. I don't know, man. That seems weird. She misses you. Or?

I think she thinks that I'm doing stuff that's like scandalous. What would you be doing? Having people over? Having like orgies? No. Touching the dogs inappropriately? Did you do something you weren't supposed to do? Well, I do.

No, well, it's OK. Yeah. It's not animal cruelty. I'll leave it. I'm feeding them. Let's just say that. Oh, shit. Is that your dog texting you?

It's on my mom. It's like, I'll just read you. It's Texas. Don't make it like it's a bad thing. I love it. But it's like, she sends me these, these poems. Oh, I like the poems. However hard the day must have been today,

go to sleep with a positive attitude to make tomorrow's day more fruitful. Good night. That's beautiful. It's dumb. Fuck you. That's beautiful. You don't understand what that means, really.

Because it's in English? Yeah. Oh, what is it in Korean? I don't know. But she sends me, and then she sends me this. The world can be amazing when you're slightly strained. In fact. I know.

But look at how fucking weird it would be. I don't know who these people are. That's the doors. Yeah. And then it's like, when you're strained. Here's another one. Imagine if someone would have loved you the way you love them, they could have changed everything.

Like, what the fuck are you talking about? You fucking idiot? That's giving her. Don't say that. That's giving her something to care about. I love your mom. She doesn't listen to this. She doesn't listen to this.

This gives her hope for the new day. No, I love it. But it's like, but I never send her a thing back. You don't ever respond? No, I respond with just text. Send her back a poem. I love you, mommy. I love you so much.

Let's write her a poem. Let's write your mom a poem right now. Oh, no way. She's not going to understand it. That's the best part. Yeah, but it's got to be in this style. You got to put it on a meme-y kind of thing. No, we don't have time.

Let's just make one up for her right now. Let's text her right now something sweet. All right, what is it? OK, so let's get this off. I feel comfortable with this. I don't know why. It's fine. We're not going to say anything gross or mean.

Go ahead. When life? When life? In when life? When life? When life interludes. Interludes. Yeah.

With your consciousness? Yep. When life interludes with your consciousness. You must persevere. You don't know how to spell that. Yeah, wait, consciousness. Yeah, but they have spell check. If I'm close, it'll let.

When life interludes with consciousness. You must persevere. You must persevere. Until the warmth? Wait, hold on. Yeah, you're right. I don't know how to spell persevere. You're absolutely right.

You must push through. No, persevere. How do you spell it? Per. I did that already. Sa. Sa. Veer.

V. Oh, there it is. When life interludes with consciousness, you must persevere. And let the light? And let the light? Oh, no, I'm sorry. No, and follow the light.

And follow. No, I don't want her to die. Is that a death thing? Yeah, yeah, to follow the light. And she's going to go, OK, puppy. And she's going to close her eyes and follow that she's going to die. But I mean.

I don't want her, if she dies from it, I'll be so mad. If we said this and she dies immediately, that's incredible. All right, let's do it. Yep. So it's worth experimenting. It's definitely worth a bit. So when life interludes with consciousness. No, I can't say it.

When life interludes with consciousness, you must persevere until. Baby, this doesn't make any sense. OK, until the Lord. Until the Lord? Until the Lord confines you. Blesses you so. Blesses you.

Until the Lord blesses you so. Read it out loud. I'm sore for the sin, I don't know why. When life interludes with consciousness, you must persevere until the Lord blesses you so. Perfect. By the way, I feel like that's in a t-shirt in Korea somewhere. Love you, Mom.

Love you. Love you. Love us. Say, I love us. Love us. What? Oh, it doesn't make any sense. Say, I love us.

I love us. Yeah, like you love her love for you and she love you. It's too impersonal. Get and do a kiss, do a kiss lips. No, that's, it's incest. It's incest. No, it's incest. I'll do a heart.

Do like a, do the. I'm going to say love you, I can't say love you. Do the eggplant, do eggplant water, where it's the wet water. OK, I'll do that, I'll do that. Like this. Exactly. Yeah. OK.

Scent. Scent. Oh, wow. You know how good I am at that? The rhythm is good. Yeah. One girl tried to hold me in. Just grab your butt.

Yeah, she goes, no, she wanted my baby. I could feel it. Really? Yeah. And I always announce it loudly. Yeah. I'm about to come. Well, that's, I go.

Yeah. Right before I go. And I started pulling out. And I got out. You smoothly got out. I think I nutted on her inner thigh. Like, and I got out and I was like, you try to get me. You're not going to get me.

He doesn't, young blood, your hand doesn't know how to do that. I don't know what his name is, young blood, your hand. I obviously not. Or obviously, he doesn't give a shit. He just doesn't give a shit. Yeah, I feels good to nut and saw. I mean, I'm just going to be talking in front of Jules. But let me say something.

I mean, you said it. By the way, his name is, oh, Moneybag Yo. OK, Moneybag Yo. All right, so if. Listen up, Moneybag Yo, wherever you are, I know you're listening. Stop coming inside of these chicks. Yeah, but it's not really that.

There's Moneybag Yo. Let me look at me. Look at me right now. Does it feel good to nut inside with no condom? Yeah, Jules, get out of here. Get out of here. It feels good, right? Let's do the PG.

Let's do like the PG13. All right, so. Does it feel good to ejaculate without a condom? To relieve yourself. Without a condom? To relieve yourself inside of a vagina. Relieve yourself is like peeing. That's like peeing.

OK. And that does feel good. Does it feel good to have unprotected sex and finish inside of it? It feels great. Phenomenal. Let me ask you this. No, another different question.

Go ahead. Does it feel good relieving yourself with your hand when you pull out? Yeah, of course. Now, what's the difference? It's like, let's say. Well, the difference is. I know.

Pretty big. I don't think so. It's pretty big. No, because the emptiness inside is the same. When it's over? When it's over. That's a thing women don't comprehend. Yeah, there's a moment that we.

There's an emptiness inside. Sad. You know, there's an emptiness inside after I masturbate. Of course there is. I'm just, you know, this is what I do. Because you just killed 10,000 people. Yeah, not only that, but this is what I do. I do it.

And the first thing I do is I look at my hands. Trumbling? No, I look like Spider-Man after a bad day. Yeah, like it didn't work one day in the fucking web. Damn it. Yeah, so it's like, you know, like the thing was clogged in this thing. Yeah.

Right? So that's what it looks like. Oh, it doesn't work. Like when the end of a soap dispenser has like the. Like, yeah. Come on. Right? So I'm like, oh, it didn't work.

You know, and then it's like, it's dripping. And I don't clean it right away. What? No. No. Oh, yeah. What do you do? You hang out with it?

Well, it's like, it's not like as if like, it's an interesting thing. No, it's not. It's not. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You put it under a microscope? No. So I look at it.

And I sometimes do this with my hands, right? Like you have webbed? And it creates, it creates like a bat wing, right? And I'll just like, and look at it, right? And then, but the feeling inside is so empty. Yeah, it's sad. It's so sad. And I'm there for like five minutes.

Five minutes? Yeah, and I'll just do this empty, right? Look, dude. But it's the same feeling when you come inside of, I mean, ejaculate inside a woman. No, it's not. There's an emptiness inside. Yeah, but you don't have, but you don't have to.

No, it's not. Does that, does that every time to you? A lot of times. I don't feel sad or empty when it's over. Like when I'm over and I ejaculate, I scoop some out and I still do it. With my, with my hand I do the webbing thing. It's so gross.

So gross, I guess. It's a little, it's, it's, but there's something sad and empty about it. Yeah, you know what I'm saying. I don't know why you're arguing this thing. Well, no, I'm saying masturbating is sad and empty. That's the, like when you were young and you used to jerk off, what did you do?

Magazine, sock, what did you do? Well, the wall. I'm sorry. And my mother, my poor mother. You would shoot on the wall? My poor mother. Of all the places that would be like, okay. No, cause I had this, I had this Doran Doran poster.

And you were really into Doran Doran? Yes. So you would come on. But it's the Rio poster. But it was framed. So if you saw my bedroom, so you have the bed, which is a twin. Single.

A single. No, it was a single, it was a twin bed. Okay. Okay. Yeah, so that, that was in the back of it. That was a frame thing, right? That's hot to you. But it looked like she was crying come.

Oh my God, Bob is here, right? So it's like, I would smear it like after I was done. I would just, not even look, I would just smear it on there, right? Rose. And it dries yellow. No, dude. So it looks like, shut up, all right?

Don't look at me like that, right? She's disappointed. Yeah, yeah. So, and then my mom. This is what you came back for. Every six months would be like, Bobby, what is, why is it so yellow? You know what I mean?

That's art, mom. And she would have to use a fucking. Like a fucking, like a razor blade. No razor blade and chisel it off. Oh my God, it's so gross. That's true though. I never used a sock. Never?

No, I just, like a, you know. Magazines, always for me. Always magazines. What do you mean? Victoria's Secret. I could not masturbate to that. Really? Yeah.

When I was in high school, what were you thinking of? Well, because the internet didn't exist. We didn't have the internet to jerk off to. No, no, we would, there was a, there was a, have we talked about this before? There was a rock. Oh my God.

Yeah. The community would, you know what I mean? And then my friend Alamedo's. Alamedo's. My friend Alamedo's parents, God rest her souls. His dad had porn and a human I used to. I know, but in your room. Drawer's, what?

In your room. I would borrow his magazines. Oh, those feelings, the excitement. Do you just get emotional? Missing the old porn days? No, it's not just the porn days. It was the feeling of like, just hanging out with your friends, riding your bike.

Jerking off together. That too? Or like, my friend Jason Hill, he was in a band called Louis XIV, you know them? So he was the singer of the, but as a kid, he lived right down the street from me. So I remember Jason, he was in his garage. He had never smoked pot before.

And I brought my bong over. Hell yeah. And I was teaching him how to do it. And I just remember those moments as a kid, you know? Yeah. And there's a feeling, like summers were different. There was just a feeling. Oh, trust me.

I know, I'm smoking weed in a garage. Oh my God, that's the best. The coolest, sitting on a couch, smoking weed, cigarettes. Yeah. Talking shit. Talking shit, mad shit. I miss those days. I miss those days.

Now it's like, the end is coming. It's right around the corner. Yeah, yeah. I mean, it's, well, you're 50 soon, bud. The end's coming. I don't think you're gonna die anytime soon, but I do think that you're reaching your Tyrone Woodley years.

I don't think so. No, you're right, dude. It feels different. You're about to pop. Don't say that. You're about to pop. But I feel like something different's happening. What do you mean?

In society or in your life? Well, just in my own life. What is it? Is Calila pregnant? No. That would be incredible. That's more to do with the business. You okay?

That's more to do with the business. Well, what is that? Tell me. Like you're booking a lot of stuff, you feel like it's rolling? That's not just booking, it's just, I don't like talking about it, but I will. You love talking about it.

First of all, you love talking about it. I don't like, I don't love talking about it. You love hyping yourself up. No, it's just the kind of, like, you know, you have always had great opportunity. No, just don't, I've known you. Bobby, Bobby, I have made everything I've got. Okay.

Nothing came my way. Mixed drinks, what was that show called? Mixology, I auditioned for that. I didn't even get far. I know, but you weren't right. Right, so you got it. You weren't right for it. That's my point.

Yeah, but- Right, you always are right. No. You're always doing stuff with Seth Rogen, all these things. No, one thing I got cut out of, dude, this is a lie. You're perpetuating a lie.

Okay, so what I'm saying is that you've had a great life. It's been okay. And a great career. And I just, I'm just, I just want a little- You've had a tough road. I just want a little for myself, that's all. You've been, go ahead. That's so annoying.

No, you annoy me. No, you annoy me. Yeah. Yeah, it's a fucking montage. It's a fucking vignette. It's a fucking montage, for sure. It's a vignette. All right.

It made me cry either way. Yeah, what a great woman. Jules, are you happy to be back? Pull the mic towards your fucking mouth. I'm okay. Are you sad to be back? She's so bummed. You are sad to be back.

Because- Let me tell you something. The response we got from having Doc Willis on the show was great, people love Doc. If you want to, do you want to take off and us make Doc feel impermanently? No. You still want to be on the show?

Okay. Okay. I saw you guys measure yourself when I wasn't here, and you admitted that you were five too. I know, but he was saying- No, but you admitted it to stop. You admitted five too. He said he was five three,

and I told him, you're wrong because I'm an inch taller than you. If I'm five two, you're five one. Okay. That's my point. But how tall do you think you are now? What's that? Because we've got some old proof.

This is proof that you admitting on this radio show from years ago how tall you are. And you also do a lot of work with Chelsea Lely, right? Yeah, I do that. I was in Grey's Anatomy. I was that girl, remember? You were a girl in the movie? Yeah, I was that girl in Grey's Anatomy.

That was me, bro. I was in the show Heroes, remember? Yeah, that was me, bro. I was in the movie Entourage, right? I play basketball. Right? Insanity, bro. That's me, bro.

I do all that, bro. I'm taller than you, bro. What? I'm five two, but let me see. I'm positive. Let me see. The admittance. You know you're five two.

And it's so funny what you're saying, what you're doing right now. You know you're five two. You said it for you. This was seven years ago, you knew it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You didn't get taller, Bub. Bub.

You didn't get taller, Bub. Bub. Bubby. What I say in radio shows and podcasts are lies. Okay. And it's a fact. So you've never said a truth on anything. No, not really, no.

So, okay, say it again. What I say on radio shows is a lie. That's a fact. What I say on radio and podcasts are a lie. That's a fact. It's a fact. Print it. Because if you, like for instance.

Everything I say is a lie, that's a fact. Is that what you're saying? Yeah. Perfect. Okay. Perfect. But what I wanna, I can back it up. I can back it up.

Please. Okay. Don't know how. I'll show you. Because it's a lie. Even my backups are lies. Okay. Okay.

So I'm gonna prove to you. Okay, please. There's a story. A lovely lady. Right. Is she a three boy? Very lovely girls. Oh, three girls.

Oh, sorry. You have no, nobody has no, you know what that's from? No. Brady Bunch. Pull the mic to your face. Even if you're slouchy pouch. Yeah. No.

Dude, it's so. It's already. Which crazy is. It's already. People are so happy that she's back. They get so excited. Where's Jules? Where's Jules?

And then she comes back and she just gets to fall into her chair. Yeah. Like those pot commercials when they're like, don't do pot and that girl's melding into the couch. You know that stupid commercial? It was her first day of college today. Did you have class today?

We lied to everybody. Told them you were going to what? New Mexico? Where did we say? Everyone's been asking me. About New Mexico. That's why we went there already. Some people at Albuquerque were so excited to see you.

How was the first day of class? School. Well, you didn't go, right? It was online. Yeah, online. It was fine. No cute boys. It's a Zoom?

Well, you can't really see how cute someone is on Zoom, can you? I think you can. How many? Not everyone's on one screen. You swipe to see the rest of the people. You can put them all on one screen, right? Did you do the swipe to see everyone?

Interesting. Do you think that they were swiping going, oh, that's a cute girl? You think any of them knew who you were? I don't think so. Is there a chat at all? Yeah, there's a chat. Did no one said anything like, hey, Rudy Jules?

No. Fuck. But she did get recognized at the airport. Yeah, in Hawaii. In Hawaii. Really? Was Calila there? Calila was there.

Well, they said hi to her, huh? Yeah. I want her to be alone somewhere and somebody recognize her alone. Well, that's why, because she was, because we're going to Cancun. Yeah, we're going to Cancun, by the way. People need to go.

She wants to bring Calila and I'm saying don't. Why? So she can have an experience with us. Oh yeah, just us, yeah, the crew. With the crew. Oh, cool face. I know. If you don't want to do it,

why you want to bring Calila because you want a partner in crime? Yeah. Yeah, I get that. She wants her butt. But can we be the partners? She doesn't like us like that. Yeah.

By the way, but show that, do you remember we talked to, okay, we talked to a band called the Bobby Lee's. Look at this, this was posted on the Reddit. There's a guy, there's an MMA fighter named Bobby Lee, who's a redhead. Okay. Do you know this guy?

No. Look, zoom in on this guy. He renamed himself Bobby Lee though. He's a red, yeah, for us. No. No, that's his general name. His real name is Robert Lee. Really?

Sketch. But I feel like we should support this guy. Yeah, I think we should support him. Can we do, can we bad friends, can we sponsor a fighter? Let's sponsor this guy. I want to sponsor Bobby Lee, the fighter. So if he's out there, anybody knows.

He's 12, 6 and 0, pretty good. There's an MMA fighter named Bobby Lee that looks like he could be related to Santino. He's a ginge, dude. He's from part of the Ginge Nation. Yeah. And 12, 6 and 0 is not bad. It's not great though.

It's not, he needs something else. Because this is like 12, 6 and 0 in like regional, the scene. Yeah. He's like local barfights, 12, 6 and 0. I know, if he went to the, you know, like he had fought Etzin Barboza, he wouldn't have ribs left.

Well, let's see what, well, what's his weight, go down, what's his weight class? Let's see, we got to get him in better. He's 155. Oh, he's lightweight. Nah, that's not good. That's not good. No, yeah, he's got a, you got to tell him.

Let's sponsor him. Let's sponsor him, because look, it says career disclose earnings, zero dollars. Yeah, yeah. He's fighting out of St. Cloud Mini Soda. Maybe he has a, a Venmo maybe. We can look it up. We can have George look into it to see if we,

Look into it. You know, but how, how cool would it be if we sponsor a fighter and he has bad friends shorts on when he fights? Would that be awesome? Great. On the shorts, this is bad friends in the back. But would it be bummer

as if he just continued to lose and then. Right. And then the bad friends just blot on it and dry. It would be sad. That's all they take pictures of? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Two losers on podcasts, but a sponsor man whose career is going down.

I hope Bobby Lee does, I hope he starts bucking up. What's the other one, Pete, that you want to show me? There's a slide guitarist named Bobby Lee. Is there? Mm-hmm. Oh, this is a great. So a couple of weeks ago, we showed the Cambodian army

and they beat the shit out of you. Yeah. Okay, in India, they do a live physical in front of everybody. Look at this. Just want to make sure both are there. One, one, two, one, two. Good, nice stick.

Yeah, yeah. One, two, nice stick. One, two, there. One, two, right there. Nice, good snake. Right, left, there it is. How weird that this is their physical. Yeah.

They want to make sure you got two balls and a pin. Let me ask you this. If there was a woman there wanting to be a part of the, you know what I mean, the army, would he be able to do it? He has to. He would. That's part of the code. Oh.

Son of a. He spends like 20 minutes on there. Yeah. He's like, I still don't feel it. Where are your balls? It is that, and by the way, a guy following with a piece of paper. Yeah.

He's just going down the line, grabbing their peanut. What a weird. Yeah. I want to see one move. I want to see one get a little, woof. I want to see one pop up so bad. How strange this is part of their army routine, huh? Or he just says that to them.

Oh, the other guy was like, oh, let me check it out. Yeah, I want to make sure. Yeah. I need to make sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He didn't touch any of the other guys. Oh, that's my friend Jim. By the way, how funny is it?

Yeah. How funny is it that these guys go back to their, oh, oh my God. Oh my God. These guys go back like the barracks and they're like, it was hard to him grabbing our dicks in front of each other. And then all the other groups are like,

nobody grabbed our dicks. That's just this guy, that's just this dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah. His, wait, go back, go back a little bit. He points to him right there. He points to him as if, watch this, he's like, oh, he's nice. Oh, he's nice.

Just like my dad's. I guess you got to do this in some countries just to make sure these guys. I think we should reenact this. George. George, come up here. George, you got to reenact, we're the soldiers. We got to make sure.

Which one am I? I don't want to do this. You, we want to make sure that you're still built. Yeah, I want to see what your style is. Yeah, we want to see if you're still built. Go ahead. Come here, George, come here. Test out Bobby to make sure he's good enough to podcast.

There you go, George. Make sure he's good enough to podcast. Oh, nice. And are they both there? Very good. You're ready to go to war. I'm ready to go, I'm ready to go. Well, that'll be a meme.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You barely touched it. Can we make that an NFT? Can we make you get any balls touching NFT? Yeah. We can do that, right? It's an NFT. I just am learning.

I know what, oh, property. NFT of a property? Non-fungible token. Do you know what I'm talking about? No. Google NFT, you know what this is, Rudy, don't. You don't know what this is? It's like your generation.

NFT, look. You can sell, buy and sell these things. Look, Steph Curry just bought the sad monkey. Look at that. Steph Curry, the board eight, that's what it's called. And it was $180,000. All it is is what you see right there. He bought that.

He bought it. The digital rights, so to speak. You can also buy scenes. Yes. And YouTube moments. Correct. Somebody could buy, if you and I say something, they can buy that moment.

Well, no, we would own the rights to that first. They would have to purchase it from us. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. We own the copyrights. Right, right, right. But we could sell a moment. Okay, so look, board eight sold back in May for 0.68 Ethereum.

And now it's worth $180,000. I get it, but it's like, I don't... Because we're not... Because we're old, or... Yeah. Or older. Fuck. Like pansexual.

We are pansexual. Are we? What does pansexual mean? I don't know, I'm trying to learn all this stuff. Can you Google what pansexual is? I don't know all those terms. That's what I'm learning. Let's learn right now.

Pansexual, not limited sexual choice with regard to biological sex, gender identity. So pansexual means like you could have sex with... An ottoman? Or I don't know how... Could be an ottoman. An object? No.

I think it's gotta be human being. Oh no, towards people regardless of their sex or gender identity. So you can like another... But why is that, is that bisexuality? No, bisexual is... This says emotional attraction, romantic or emotional attraction towards people

regardless of their sex or gender identity. Bisexual falls probably under the umbrella of pansexual. Because bisexual, you like men and women. This is saying you can like people if they don't identify as a man or a woman. Yep. I think, I think, I think. And what's the binary one that they have?

Non-binary. Non-binary. Well binary just means man or woman. Non-binary means, you know, non-binary means you're fucking, you're gender fluid. Gender queer. Gender queer. It's an umbrella term for identities

that are neither male nor female. Right, you don't identify as a man or a woman. Because when I was in Hungary, did I tell you about this? Mm-mm. There was one girl that is non-binary. Okay. And me and this other girl, actress,

it was to meet this girl. And my actress friend said, we're meeting them. Yeah, you don't say they, you say they. Right, so I go, oh, she's bringing her friends? No, it's just her. And then when we're walking to this place, she was like, you know what I mean? She explained to me, like I didn't know, right?

Of course, I don't know. Then when I saw her, I did a joke. Oh, that's five, Bobby. What? You said, she, her, she, she, her. Oh, wow, you did. In the middle of telling it, you already violated her. I know, exactly.

It's them, they, fuck. But when I saw them, I said, hey, you guys. Funny. Right? Funny. And she's like, what? What I'm saying, though, is- Hey, you guys, it's like saying, fuck, and, you know,

it's like saying, what's up? You don't mean what's up? I know, but what I'm saying is- Hey, you guys. What I'm saying is, I want to learn, I have no prejudices, and I will accept whatever you are, whatever these new rules are, these new things. I'm open to it.

Yeah, I guess, it's so confusing, I'm sorry. It's like, I'm- How about this? What's your name? I'm gonna call you your name. That's how I feel. What's your fucking name? Because I'm gonna get confused, and I'm gonna fuck up.

You fucked up four times in half a minute. If they go, Emily is gonna be there, and they are non-binary, and gender fluid, and pansexual, and so and so, something, something. I'm gonna go- Let's say I'm Emily. Can't wait to see Emily. All right, then you see Emily, what do you say?

Hey, Em, how are ya? I want you to say plural, Emily's. Hey, Emily's, how are ya? Oh, there we go. Over with. Right. And then if someone- Like there's a weirdness there.

No, and then I'm gonna refer to you by your name if someone goes, what does she want? I go, Emily wants tacos. Ah, let's go to the name. Go to the fucking- Do you understand it's your generation? Yeah, you guys fucking did all this shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, I'm confused with it. No, I'm- Our generation, we don't- You know, a guy's like you and a- We care. We don't care. Yeah, I care. I don't care, no, my point is I don't care.

Whatever you want to be, I don't care. Yeah. I want you to love it. I don't fucking care. But we, but it's, I know we don't care. So tell me your fucking name. I know, but we still, I still wanna learn. I know.

The rules. But we don't, but by the way, there's too many fucking rules. Look, go back one slide. Go back one slide. Look, look, click on an umbrella. It's like a fucking novel, dude. It's a novel.

I don't know. Right. Fluid, poly, pan, other, bi, hetero, hetero-flexibility, lesbian-flexible, hetero-flexible. Yeah, I had to learn all of it. Your name's fucking Emily. No, all right. No, I'm not saying I'm, I'm being open-minded.

You're allowed to be whatever you want. Yeah. I don't, I don't, the nuances are so fucking specific. I'm sorry. Fluid, fluid. What's, zoom in a little bit, because I can't read all of it. Attraction was changes or might change over time. What's this, hetero-flexible?

That means if you can touch your toes. The people who are usually attracted to people of genders different from their own. Might occasionally be attracted to people of genders similar to their own. So maybe-bi, it's called maybe-bi. Maybe-bi. That's the new one, maybe-bi.

Can we just say bi? No, no, hey, no. All right, I'm hetero, hetero-flexible. You're hetero-flexible. I'm hetero-flexible. You can touch your toes and you fuck chicks. I don't get it. Honestly, all it means to me is,

That doesn't make any sense with you. You can touch your toes and you fuck chicks. That's hetero-flexible. Oh, that's all you've, okay, I get it. Honestly, I'm being serious when I say this. I have friends who are gay. I have friends who are bi. I love them all.

I don't fucking pair. Let's read some more up above, zoom up above. Fluid, attraction which changes or might change over time towards people of various genders. This just means you haven't figured it out yet. People who are used, okay, homo-flexible. Or you have and you don't, and you want it all. And what's this, veggie-flexible?

What does this mean? Vegetable-flexible is somebody who eats veggies while they fuck. No, it's called lesb. It's called lesb-flexible. People who are usually attracted to people of gender similar to their own, but might occasionally be attracted to people of genders different from their own.

This is getting too specific. Yeah. That's called sometimes bisexual maybe. Yeah. It should say sometimes bisexual maybe or maybe not. Again, you know what the end of this is? You're Emily. Right, Emily.

I'm talking Emily. Emily, you're Emily. Emily sometimes fucks girls. And that's Emily. Sometimes Emily fucks guys. Oh, but sometimes. Sometimes Emily fucks girls who wish that they were guys, sometimes wishing they were fucking girls.

But sometimes Emily will decide to be Chad. Then say I'm Chad today. Right. And I'll go, hey, Chad. Right. And then Chad. And Chad will be like, what's up? Whoa, Chad.

But Chad will go. I know I was Emily yesterday, but I'm Chad now. And Chad will go, don't call me he, even though I won't go by Chad. And I go, right, I'm not gonna call you a fucking he or they or them or she calling you fucking Chad. Right. All day I'm calling you Chad.

Let me ask you this though. We should wear name tags. How do you feel about it? Huh? I know that we're willing to band and learn these new, you know what I mean? Sure. But how do you feel about it?

How I just said. Do you really feel that way? Of course. I don't care what you wanna be because. What if they want you to care? I don't care. I don't care about everybody. That's insane.

I care about the people I know. But if I'm Emily, I want you to care. Emily, I barely fucking know you. No, let's say we're good friends and I'm lesbaflexible. Okay. All right, I want you, do you care about it? No.

Yeah, I want you to care. I think that's the problem with- Here's why. Why do I care about your sexuality? Because I want you to- That's the least important part of our friendship. Right. You're my friend.

Okay. I care that we have cool conversations. We go to concerts together. We get high together. Okay. I care that we fucking hang out. I don't give a shit what kind of person you wanna fucking suck and whatever.

Do you see what I'm saying? Mm-hmm. Do you see what I'm saying? Do you, like you don't, what your generation is, you don't care, right? You hope people do their thing and be happy. I don't fucking care. You're heterosexual, right?

Yeah. Are you anything else? Are you lesbaflexible? Maybe I could be. Or heteroflexible, I mean. Yeah, maybe I could be heteroflexible. Because you might sometimes be attracted to women. Yeah.

Okay, so she's heteroflexible. I might be heteroflexible. You are heteroflexible. You're bisexual. Okay, thank you for being about for what? You are, you're bisexual. I'm heter, I wanna be heteros, that's, you can't dictate what I am.

Listen, Emily. I'm telling you what I am. Listen up. I'm heteroflexible. Sure, okay. Okay, good. I want you to accept that and be happy with that. I would, you know what?

I do accept this for everybody but you. Why? Because I don't accept you in my heart. No. My mom again, hold on. Oh, what did your mom say? Always find a reason to smile, she said. Well, let's write her again.

No, because I think she was confused about this one. Please, please, Bob. All right, let's do another one. Here we go, ready? Right, right. The waves of time. The waves of time. May shift the sands of our lives.

May shift. Wait, hold on. May shift. The sands of our lives. Shift the sands of our lives. But they will never take. But they will never take. But they will never take.

Our freedom. William Wallace. William Wallace. You have to end with a brave heart quote. Is that a real William Wallace quote? Are you serious? Yeah. Never take our freedom.

Yeah, but the shit that he said before. That was just my head. Oh, so the waves of time may shift the sands of our lives. But they will never. But they will never take our freedom. By the way, that's going to have on a fucking shirt somewhere. Good night, mom. Oh, wait, and also, will you write this to your mom?

No, not so late. No, please, please. OK, go ahead. Will you write thank you for being a bad friend to your mom? OK, thank you for being. No, because she doesn't know what to get. OK, thank you for it. I love your mom.

Hold on, thank you very bad. OK. All right, we need to address two things real fast, and then we're done. What? One, Bobby is turning 50, but we can no longer have the party. You have to say it. The fans want to know.

We're not having a party, but what we're going to do is the winners are going to do a Zoom call with us. Yeah. Sadly, the restrictions are making it so we can't. Delta. Fucking Delta. Fucking Delta. Thank you so much for sending in the video submissions.

You know, we've seen all of them. We saw a wheel of them. We did watch a fuckload of them. A lot of them. Yeah. And I really appreciate it. You know, it makes us feel good that you guys are on. We appreciate you.

When we're sorry that we can't have the party, it's no more party time. Rudy, now that you're back, you've got to end us again. Go look in your camera and say it, mama. Thank you for being a bad friend. Welcome back. For 20% off your pulley. Nope.

All right. For 20%? No. I'm going to have to laugh. Hold on. Let me finish it. I got to do this last one. Sure.

For $20 off your Buffy Comforter, visit Buffy.co in her bedroom. I got it right here. Let me just say, stop laughing, right? Jules? For $20 off your Buffy Comforter. For $20 off your Buffy Comforter. What?

I'm just kidding. Let me just do it. Do it. You can do it. All right.