Bad Friends - Korean Joker v Dave Blunts

Episode Date: March 24, 2025

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Mercy is coming to theaters January 23rd. This is the Mercy Corps, powered by artificial intelligence. Detective Raven, you're charged with the murder of your wife. I'm not guilty. You have 90 minutes. To prove it. Or you will be executed. You must use the tools.

Every camera and cell phones at your disposal. To solve the mystery. Can I see my daughter's socials? Do you that? Someone was in my basement. Chris Pratt. Maybe she found something she wasn't supposed to. Rebecca Ferguson.

You must move from one piece of the puzzle to the next. No, I have something here. Oh my God. Mercy, rated PG-13. Maybe inappropriate for children under 13. Only in theaters, January 23rd. Hello. Hello, dear mate.

Bye. I'm being so on toast. And we're going to London, England, July 18th, and then July 19th, we'll be in Dublin, Ireland. Tickets are available right. We never go to these places. Never go to these places. Once the show's done, we no come back. We know come back.

Yeah, yeah. So you got to go. So go to bad friendspod.com for those tickets. Badfriendspod.com. You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots. White dude and an Asian dude. You two

Are you two or something We're bad friends Let me tell you something You texted me today And you said Are you mad at me? Never Yeah you do

You get angry And you know what I'm never been mad at you You have Dollywood Do you cancel sessions That are important to us Yeah

I know That's what I'm talking about It's an inner lingering Slow burn of anger Hi Rudy Jule Look what we got for you A normal

Rudy. Rudy. Rudy. Yeah. I haven't seen you since last year. Do you miss me? I missed you. But you're going over to Tiger Belly. You're doing that all the time and you're really breaking my heart a little bit.

No, because I don't know. No, no, no, no. We embraced you. Not just Tiger Belly. Oh, yeah. Trash Tuesday, baby, where the money is. So here's the problem. And the followings and the glamour and the glitz.

We gave you your start. Nothing. She dropped them. us, dude. Well, you know what we are? We are the guy that she dated before she got famous. Exactly. And she drops us, no, she got famous. You know, the first guy that you date? I'll even do one you better, dude. Yeah, give it. Right? We're the hot guy, right, that she dated. I disagree with the first part. But just hear my point. Or the medium guy. We're the medium guy.

But then she got blew up and went uglier. Oh, yeah. That's what I meant. That's what I meant. Interesting. Yeah, yeah. Like, I'm going to go just, I'm going to go down. I'm going to go downtown. What's been going on, Jules? I've just been dissecting animals. God bless. God bless it. Rats and earthworms and the crickets. How are you dissecting earthworms?

They're so small. You're using the tiniest little knife? Yeah, and it's really fun, especially with the rats. You love dissecting rats. She went too ugly and also just ghosted the hot guy. Well, as soon as, here's what really happened. But tell me the science behind it. As soon as she left this show.

and you and Kalila broke up and she started to get away from our show. Yeah. That's when she was like, I don't need to talk to Tito Andrew ever again. And she... That seems to be the truth. It's the truth.

That seems to be the reality of the situation. Did I show you nothing of love for four years? Pure love. It's the kind of love mother Teresa gave to the pores. Exactly same. Yeah, yeah. It's that kind of unhinged.

No, unty. Undying. Undying love. That's what I meant. Anyway. Ladies and gentlemen, Rudy Julie is back. Rudy Giuliani is back in the studio. Are you happy to be back?

I'm happy. Who of the people here are you happiest to see? Let's go in order. Happiest Elise, happy to see. Go ahead. First is you. Thank you.

Andres. Yes. Carlos. Awesome. McCone. Love that. And Bobby's separate. You're separate.

It doesn't count because she sees you all the time. She sees you all the time. I'm not even on the list. What? I cannot believe. Let me ask you, lady. You see her every day. There was a fire.

long ago, right? Yeah. Right? Was there not a fire long ago? Right? The great Chicago fire? No, the great L.A. fire. Oh, the lovely.

People are running. You know what I mean? Help! Help! Yeah, running, right? Help! Right? I get a call,

can you harbor and take care of Little Jewel. Little Jules. Yeah. And the dogs. And I said, kindly,

my heart is out to you. My heart goes out. And you know what happens to that heart? They pee on it. They piss on your heart. Yeah. You piss, you squat on his chest.

In the yellowest tier you've ever seen. Wow. Yeah. Jimmy Yong Yang yellow. Wow. Yeah, that's the most yellow you can get. Right, very bright. That is a bright star.

Yeah. Well, I'll say this. I'm glad that you're back. I love that you put McCone last. He is the least important of the crew. Although he did have a fun time at my special and then he went and jumped in the, what did you do? You jumped in the lake?

Yeah, the polar plunge. He did a polar plunge. And all the proceeds went to, so all the proceeds went, it was for special Olympics. So here's what they do. All the money they collected. They rounded up all of these strong people to throw handicapped people into the lake. Handicap people with Down syndrome, they threw them in the lake. That guy doesn't have Down syndrome, does. He does. Well, he does after he gets out of that lake. Oh, yeah, yeah. I mean, shape Down syndrome, but I don't think it happened. Down syndrome shape. Yeah, yeah, the shape. Yeah. So what? The money I donated to you went to where?

I hope it didn't go to you. And how much did I donate? None. Exactly. I don't believe in it. didn't give them any money? I don't believe in the fucking cause. It's for special Olympics. Go ahead. It is? It was all for special Olympics. I said that in the text. That's why I gave him. I was doing a joke like you earned the special, I don't read it. Well, I know you didn't read it. I just heard I just read Special Olympics. He's trying to make fun of me. Like you're in the special. He's attacking me. He's attacking me so I didn't read the whole thing. Yeah, don't put that in there next time. But you don't get anything. But, um, whoa. I am happy that that money went to So you jumped in the river.

I told you not to jump in the lake. I could have just given you the money. No, it's fine. Was it cold? Was it cold? Was it cold? Was the cold? Was the water?

Water was 33 degrees. Love it. And how long did you stay in for? No chance you lasted. No, I was under and we'd out immediately. You went head underneath? That's smart. That's good.

It's deep enough to where you kind of have to. Have you ever done a polar plunge? Have you ever jumped in a freezing cold lake or body of water? No. Did you go naked? No, I was just wearing short shorts. All the Special Olympics kids were naked for sure. There's no doubt.

They can't keep the clothes on. I mean, I'm tired. I haven't slept up. But let me say something. You're tired? It's 7 p.m. We did this. We moved this shoot till nighttime.

You got back from San Francisco at 9 a.m. What'd you do today? Okay, so all weekend, I did not sleep at all. You were doing shows. I know, did not sleep. How? I just could. It was so cold and the heat was too heat.

I don't like when the heat's too heat. You know what I mean? What is your perfect optimal room temperature in a hotel? Probably a 70. You know you can set that right on the thing. I know, but what happens is it's so cold through the window. Oh. It combines.

And there's a horrific. Oh, it's like when the Atlantic and the Pacific taught me. It's like, no, I'm more like an angel and the demon. Oh. And they're dancing in the air. And I mean, and I don't really like that. Dancing in the air, you know? Now, did you have a hotel with a bathtub?

It's a combo. You see at the hotel Zoe? The Zoe. The Zoe. Yeah. Because it's not Zoe. I don't know, actually. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I did that last time. this time, but it's a combo tub shower. I don't like it. But you know what I do like? And it's polite. Because sometimes it's a combo shower bath, but if you want to take a fucking shower, you have to actually go in the tub and do the shower, and then you get wet.

Get out. But you know what? This clever fucking front has? A little window. Oh, you put your arm through. You put your arm through, and you open it. I remember that. You remember that? Yeah, that's right. And it's a clever little zozo. Smart. I like it. I don't like the shower tubs because I feel like I'm going to slip,

and that is exactly how I die. I'm already prone to slipping in bathrooms hitting my head on the thing. Well, we've heard the story. I know. I don't need to do it and say, and they have earthquakes up there. Imagine. I imagine. Imagine it happened to me twice.

But I hadn't been back to Cobbs. That was the last time I was there is when Ken Jung attacked me in the green room. How long ago is this? Like 15 years ago. So I pointed to all my openers, this is where it happened. Wow. And I positioned the chairs. He turned around like this.

How nice is Cobbs? Honestly. And then after that, I did a mice. Space corporate show with Al Madrigal. Wow. Ian Edwards, Natasha Legerro. Ask everyone that works there. When I got off stage, I started to cry.

I bombed so bad. And then I went to the kitchen. Well, Myspace isn't even around anymore, is it? That's how long ago it was. And I got on my hands and knees, and I vowed to the gods. I'll never play her again. I've always had bad luck there. At Cobbs?

Yeah, so I haven't been there for like 15 years. God, MySpace is still active. It's still active. Yeah. I wonder what my page looks like. Go to Bobby Lee on MySpace. Let's see what that looks like. I don't think I...

There's no... They got rid of it. They got rid of it. It's gone. Jo Hinge profile picture. Johinge profile picture. You never had MySpace, did you? I had...

My aunt made it for me, but I just didn't know what to do. They didn't have internet back then, so they had to physically make it. They physically make a space for her. And this is my on it. He's my space. Yeah, yeah. And she sits in a little fucking hole. They just go around all day, around Suboo, going,

That's my space. That's my space. Yeah, yeah. And then you draw your friends, right? Your top 10. You draw the faces. On the walls? On the wall.

Yeah, walls with fire. It's really good. Yeah, with fire. Yeah, so it's cool. Tell me what's been going on in your life, Jules. I am interested to know. Well, I'm graduating.

Look at this. Look at my finger. What's going on with you? It's been doing this. Look at him. Oh, my God. He has that disease. Parkinson.

Give me back that polar plunge money. What's been going on? I'm graduating this May, so if you guys don't want to call. No, we don't. want to come. To your graduation? I'm going. Of course we want to. Do we wear a suit? What do we'll do? Do we wear a suit? What do we'll What do we'll do? You know what we'll dress like men and black? No, just, just, casual. No, you know what we'll do? We'll get the suits from dumb and dumber.

Oh, yeah. Can we wear those? Let's pull. We're going to be bright. I want to wear those. I'm going to bleach my hair. I want to wear funny goggles. Dude, dumb and dumber suits? Can we look at that. You and me? That's a hundred. We have to wear them. We're going to dress that. That's you and me. Are you going to really do that, though? I'll do it with you Yeah, let's do it Okay, it's on May So I'll get your ticket

On May Well, so school worked well Can I tell you In May Yeah, okay So it's in May Yeah And then is there

A after party? I mean, I'm not going Unless there's a after party There's not You're not throwing a graduate There's gonna be a rager No You have to throw a party

How about Boba milk tea? You love that A little boba tea party You know what? We'll set it up We'll get a boba truck Boba truck Boba milk party

Let's do that Okay Okay. That sounds fun. Look at that. That's what we want to do. We want a party. And you've got to throw your hat. And then three years from now, they work at fucking Chipotle. That's mean. Underneath there, you just say corn or flour right underneath. I'm off today. I'm off today. You're getting back. You're fine. We're going to hum right into it. So what are you going to write on your cap? You have to write like an inspirational quote. You know that, right? I mean, people do that. That's like a thing, right? They write something inspirational on the top of their hat. We're all stories in the end. Just make it a good one. A. Canadian, yeah. Count all of your blessings,

something your dreams, I can't say. Remember your dreams. Jimmy Buffett said that. A man of many quotes. It is five o'clock somewhere. I want negative ones, though. You know what I mean? Create chaos.

Like a joker. What a joke? What would Joker say? So in Sully. What? Like into the Joker. It is so in Sally. Eat the rich, no?

Yeah, eat the rich. Yeah, yeah. That's so funny to write that on your cap. They're going to frisk her, then they're going to think she's going to shoot up the graduation. I mean, you're already wearing a long gown. Why would a Korean Joker field?

Korean Joker. A Korean Joker. Where are you at? Enjoy the kimchi. Enjoy a king Where we're at? He poisoned the kimchi at graduation. You know what I'm saying?

Why when I say we're? Whereer? Yeah. What? Ridler. Oh, where we're at? Yeah, yeah. Where we're at?

What happened? There was a Korean, there was actually a Korean joker? Yeah, he was targeting fentanyl. A feminist group. Oh, feminist group. So he was an anti-feminist. No, no, no. Activists harassed and targeted by anti-feminist groups.

He kept following us and shouting. We were terrified. We were in South Korea? Yeah. That's in South Korea. We support the women. We really do. Crazy.

Did you get pussy in San Francisco? No, what happened was this, and I did one of my old school high school tricks. Oh. You want to guess what it is? I'll talk about it. Yeah, you show up to the party. There's no party.

High on drugs. No, no, no, no, no. You go in the corner, you masturbate, you go home. No, you go cute. You go cutsy poot. Right, so what happened was she came to a show. So there's this girl I met years ago on Instagram, very pretty. And then she kind of like disappeared from the DMs.

But then she's like, Can I get a ticket? Because they're sold out, right? So I get her in, I do come up. Some high school friends came up, then she comes up. And then I invented her to dinner with the gang. You know, we go to the dinner. And then I kissed that show for some reason 10 dudes from stage.

She don't kiss 10 dudes with us. I know, but I did. Ten guys? Yeah, I just, everyone would do it. Wow. Yeah, yeah. And then she was like, how come you don't kiss me? So in the car ride, I had made her drive by, I go, let's just do a kiss, right?

I went like that. We kissed like that. A pack. It's just a pack. And I go, let's do it again. Right? A little stronger pack. Yeah.

Let's do it again. A little Gregory pack. Oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Samuel French. Yeah, yeah, you Pearl Harbor it. Right. Right.

And then we just made out the whole time in the car. Whoa. How long is a makeout now? In 2025? Well, here's the deal. I don't get that. Well, here's why. I don't get that.

I don't know. Yeah, yeah. I don't know. Like because if I'm making out with my wife, it's because we're going to, we're hooking up. You're making out as a setup. I'm saying how. No, I'm making up because remember I haven't been jerking off. Right.

What do you now? You're loaded for a month. Like 12 days or whatever. Pretty good. Right? Not last night. Yeah, you had to. Right?

And then my penis went. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. Old boy Dave woke up. Yeah. Oh, boy, they go. Oh, we need a fight. Let's go.

Black guy. Whatever. Bing, bing, yeah, yeah. And then, um, and when you, you know, when you're, when you're making out with somebody, it, you know, your body, it's just biological, right? Yeah, right. You're just super horny. Well, that's the, that's the, that's the, and I just, you know, four palms and a fucking

marshmallow came out. Yeah, it was so thick. It hurt. Yeah. Like, it's like wood glue coming out of your people. Oh, wow. It hurt so bad. And it was just, it was like all the, it was like a can't make batter.

Yeah, yeah. Like, am I, my inch of mine? But what's going on there around here? Dude, it was like, you know what I mean? It was like, you're right? I know you meant pancake, but you said pancake. And somehow, pancake is thicker than pancake. It is the way thicker.

Yeah, yeah. I meant to say pancake. Cancake batter is the thickest. Yeah, yeah, cancake batter is the best. What is pancake? So wait a minute. Little kissy session and then never talk to her again. That's it.

I don't know. Maybe more. Well, you know, and this is a message to everybody. Bebe, be, beep, beep, beep. You're high, huh? Me? Yeah. Why are you giggling at that then?

Because of Andres made me laugh. Okay, so may I make a message? to the women? You may. Ladies and gentlemen, a message for the women. I'm ready for a relationship. He wants to settle down. But the dam has to break. I don't know what that means.

What? I don't know what that means. Well, I'm a poet. I know. And so just figure out what that means. All right, Hemingway. Let me think. Yeah. The dam has to break means, oh. That's right. I get it. What is it? You want a squirder. Is that, no?

It's just a part of it. Yeah. Yeah. No, what I'm saying is that I think I use the wrong terminology. I think so. I think so, yeah. What? Your penis has to break.

No, no, no, no. Well, you do have to break them in like a new pair of shoes. Yeah, yeah. You got to break in that wiener. No, I mean, just the next person I like and that, you know, I mean, there's intimacy and stuff, I think I might go for it for long-termy. Really? Yeah.

But it's got to be the one. It's got to be the one, yeah. You're ready, ready. Yeah, because, you know, some people treat me like I'm still open mic or Bob. Who's that? Open Micahob? Who treats you that way? You mean women?

What? You mean women? Yeah. I don't treat. No one. They're just always like, yeah, like, you know, I can do better. Oh. That kind of mentality.

And I'm like, I don't think so. I don't think so. Yeah. No, in L.A., you can. What? You can do better than a comedian in L.A. It's like the city where Leonardo DiCaprio lives. You can do better?

Yeah. Like if you're dating celebrities Like you can go way higher He's shooting today I could tell he came with a couple loaded He's ready Okay Oh god

If he's like such a handsome guy I understand what you're saying to Have you ever had Shamillays Cancake batter? No I would Exactly I would Yeah I know

I would too Fucking per I would I would have it But I want to say Let me direct you Okay Um That's rude

Yeah And what I'm saying is Is that Leo one guy, right? And he wants... He looks up with so many... I know, but he wants 25 or younger

and supermodel. Like you? That's not my demographic. No, I'm... The girl that I made out with last night was 33. That's good. Do you understand what I'm saying?

Yeah, I understand. Yeah, you understand what I'm saying. So it's like, you know, I'm not... It's not the same pool that we're fishing from. I apologize. Emperor. Yeah?

What I'm saying to you is that I've seen your pool as well. Okay? And I can expose some stuff. I can expose stuff about you as well. Right? I went out with a girl. This guy flew out all the way to New York. Oh my God. Also, first of all, you're in a pool. You're in a pond. Let's be very clear. Yeah, exactly. Thank you so much. Right. Also, but also, you flew to New York to go see somebody. Yeah, exactly. Well, actually, I told you before. Wait, no, you told me you were going out there, but not to see somebody. Yeah. Oh, yeah. That's right. And I'm going to say, like, Ali Wong in her book. Allie Wong in her book, right? She says. She has a book? Yeah. Oh, I didn't know that. There's a little paragraph about me. Oh, that's so nice. And then when she came to LA, I didn't hit on her. I showed her around, right?

I met her places and I go, this is where you eat, this is where the good clubs, this and that, right? Yeah. I showed them the ropes. There's no sexual intention there. And you know that that's what I'm like. All my openings are women and they're all just friends. So what you're doing right now? What you're doing is hiding in plain sight.

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Of course. And it's great and I'm proud of you. Thank you. I do want. It can end. Oh. Bob, what I? Well, let the emperor speak.

You know, I treat you like a peer. All of you guys. Maybe better than a peer. Yeah, like Alex Costa, you know him? No clue. He works for me. What? On Tiger Belly.

Alex, why? We go into Panagonia yesterday and I'm going to buy something. He goes, Bob, can I buy me something? Yeah. And I go to the register and I'm bringing things in. $600. And the thing I bought was 80. What did he buy?

This fucking complex winter jacket. Right? You bought it though. Yeah. You did. Yeah, yeah. I was so livid. Right?

And what I'm saying is, you guys treat me like that too. Like we're peers, I want to say this to you, right? And it's not a threat. It's an order. Right? Yeah. This is Trump and Zelensky. I'm Zelensky.

I'm Zelensky for sure. Oh, yeah, yeah. You attack me first. No, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're Putin. I like that. Yeah, you do. Yeah, you're closer to Putin.

Yeah, you're closer to Putin. So what I'm saying to you is that I love you, right? I love you too. But it could end. The dream could end. I'm aware. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You too, McCone, and you too.

Me? He's actually been good. He's great. And also, let's be real about the Patagonia jacket. That's crazy. You fucking loved buying that. You love that. You know you did.

Because it's a power move now. Now you have that over that kid. Remember when I bought you that, fucking jacket and shoes that's what i'm saying you're gonna you're gonna use that as that's check you play chess a lot of people look at you and think checkers chinese no no no no no no one thinks checkers everyone thinks chess guys yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah oh yeah or my gal or whatever i go yeah yeah a lot of people look at you and they think piegau yeah but you're actually playing savant's level street russian opening chess yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah seriously you are because he's done this since i've

known him. A castle. Anpacant. You know what Ampacant is? Yeah. And you have little pawns all over the place. Yeah. And you're the queen. You are the queen. And you've always been the queen. I'm the king? No, buddy. You're the queen. I'm the queen. The queen is by far the most powerful piece in chess. All right. You should know that. You play chess. I'm the king. You're the king. Okay, you're the king. Because we're a partners. Bishop. Andreas. Rook, rook, rook, rook. He's a rook. It's a rook. All ricks. No, no, no. No, no. McCone is a pawn. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Pond. Yeah. What is Carlos, you know, honestly, Yeah, knight.

He might be a knight. Yeah, because he goes, he lies. Oh, he deceives. Yeah, yeah, L, L, L, L, L, L, L, L, L, L, you know what I mean? Yeah, what is she? She's the bishop. Angles, angles. Engels, angles.

Precise attacked. Watch this, watch this, watch this, watch this. That's how good she is at attacks and angles. Ready? Yeah. You have the floor. Your mom's a hole. Okay, see.

It's an attacked angle. You little fucker. That was so good. You little fucker. You are a good fucker, though. So she is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was Bishop moves there.

Yeah, that's great. So we have it all figured out in the studio. He's so mad at you. You don't know about this guy? Those little things, they seep into his... You know what's really funny? Look at it. Look at red his face.

You know what's funny? You said to a tongue. I know. I could never be mad at you. Yeah. It really, it kind of sucks. Yeah. Like if one of the clowns did it, it would be a fight.

Do you remember when she was mad at us? Oh, yeah. That was the most heartbreaking two weeks. I broke my heart. It really did hurt my feelings. Yeah. What? It hurt my feeling.

What? Your mom's a hoe? Yeah. Yeah. It just settled. Yeah, it just settled. It just settled. Now I see the river is.

Yeah. I'm mad. It was. I knew. No. That was good. No, never in a million years. Wow.

But you planted to see, congratulations. Very good. It was very good. Yeah, yeah, very good. And you know what another thing you do that drives me crazy, my friend? What? Since we're doing this. Yeah, get it out.

Why is it when I recommend you something, you never watch it. But when anyone else recommends it, you watch it. Like what? Like, I've been asking you to watch different things and you don't watch it. And I've been telling you. See, like now, notice? Did you notice? I saw?

Yeah. I've been telling you that? Yeah. Go ahead. I've been telling you I'm busy and I'm so tired that I can't watch any show. It's so funny. Can I kind of counteract that? Yeah.

You live with me. Yeah. Right? Do I have ears? Yeah. Do I hear you playing shit down there? Yeah. Oh, wah, wah, you know what, do I mean?

All kinds of fucking Asians. Is that Japanese? That Japanese. 24 hours. hours a day and she's giggling, oh, go, go, go, go, right, right. And I recommend nothing. Nothing. Yeah. It's TikTok. It's different.

It is. That is true. Don't ever raise your voice like that to me, okay? Why is it different? Because you can just scroll. You don't have to think about, you don't have to actually like watch it. It's just scrolling. I gotta, well. I gotta stop. My, my TikTok time is bad. It consumes my life. One day I'm not gonna lie, I did six hours. I do too. That's a lot. It's a lot. It's a lot. The whole flight, anytime I'm on a flight and it has Wi-Fi, I'm TikTok. And the government has us.

Well, you want to enslave us? Well, the good government. The Chinese government, the good one we love. Yeah, yeah, yeah, the one we love, yeah. Back then they did it with religion, right? Now they're doing with TikTok. Now they're doing it with TikTok and capitalism. Get ready with me.

And we're all slaves, right? And I love it. Get ready with me to become a Chinese slave. I love being a Chinese slave. Me too. We're there. Nezah. Nezah.

Did you see it? The what? Nezahah. He recommended. And Nezaa, you didn't watch that, did you? No. Nezaa 2 is out, okay? It made $2 billion in China.

It's the greatest animation movie I've ever seen. You better watch before they make a third one. Yeah, yeah. What did you say? Do we ever what? Did you guys ever download the other TikTok app? What? Red zone or whatever it was?

Red line? Yeah, red pipes. What is it? The, what is it? It's the red note. Red note. So was I close? When I said red line, was I close?

Did you hear that? It's already in Chinese. It's all in Chinese. Was I close? Yeah. Thank you. It's named as Sao Chongchu, a Chinese social media app that allows users to share and discover different content about fashion travel and more similar to Instagram with a layout similar to Pinterest. There was a Mongolian guy in my show and I kissed him in the lips. And he just came here from Mongolia.

And he stood up in petrified and he goes, I don't know what going on. Like he was like, I don't know what going on. Imagine a Mongolian guy who's like literally never been to the United States. That's his first trip. Look at that. Look at them. They're all data from fucking Goody's. They're still dressed like that. What a peaceful life.

Don't you want to do this with me? Dude, zoom in. That's so funny. What? I just realized, look at his hat. I realized why they like Spider-Man. Why? Look at those eyes.

That's the closest superhero they have. Might as well do it. Mongolian Spider-Man. Might as well do it. There's a window open. Let's go. Spada man Come on

Yeah Yeah yeah yeah And there's no fucking Billings or trees So they're judging trees Maybe trees Yeah yeah yeah Trees

Spider man Spada man From tree to three You will see Anyway This is Mongolian Spider-Man That is kind It does make sense

When you see the mask now I've never even thought about that Wow yeah Oh what a cute guy It was Chinese Spider-Man Yeah Asian Spider-Man is out there

That's so cute. All right. So what else in your life, Jules? I want to hear what's going on besides you being tired, which is the narrative that's been happening for the five years I've known you. I'm just living with you to Bobby because of the fires. Yeah. I have all the dogs, school, work.

Well, I could see you working at like Chick-fil-A, and that would help us because I'd like to eat it more often for free. Yeah. I also want to do that for free food. Well, then go get a job of Chick-fil-A. There's one near here. Well, I need a visa. Oh, yeah.

Can you buy the five million gold visa for me? What does that mean? Trump says, Trump is giving. US will sell $5 million gold. Wait, sell $5 million gold card to wealthy foreigners. So you have to pay $5 million?

Yeah, and then you get a really easy path to so this show. Apparently it's not even that much money for a lot of people, so it's going to attract like grifter. Five million dollars is not much money. Every country has a gold visa, which is like if you invest enough money in the country, you're going.

Well, I understand that. but this is just your outright buying a visa for $5 million. If you're an entrepreneur who's invested and has work here, then it's different. But you just pay $5 million. Buy a house or whatever it is. Wow. Yeah, but the guy that's doing the rice on his head, you know what I mean? He can't go.

If he had a dollar for every grain. That's true. That is true. That's true. We're going to be selling a gold card. I love that it's a gold card. Yeah, it's crazy. If you have a green card, this is a gold card.

I love, dude. He puts everything in toddler perspective. Yeah. You have a green card. This is a gold card. But do you know why he's doing this? Because Elon Musk and the tech stuff, remember? Yeah.

And so... You mean all the Doge shit? What? All the Doge stuff? Like the Doge employees that are clearing out the government? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But there's a lot of tech people from other lands. And then Trump goes, I don't know, you know what I mean?

And he got... There was a controversy. So now I think this is a way for them to get in. Five million dollars is insane. So you're telling me enough people that's a very limited amount of people that have $5 million laying around. That's why they do it, yeah.

But I mean, but then it's like a tease. No one's ever going to, how many people can really do it? I mean, I guess Chinese money may be a lot. There's a lot of billionaires in China. Doesn't China have the most billionaires in the world? But they're the most people. I know, no, but even still per capita,

they have the most billionaire. Really? By far. We don't even have that many. We have the most billionaires. We do. Yeah. Oh, wow.

We're the best. There's Indian. They're billionaires. Do it. What? I am the Cody King. Yeah, that's it. I will be a billionaire.

Wealth and technology, pharmaceuticals, and energy. Wow. Wow. Germany. We made a lot of mistakes. Yeah, yeah. But we're back. Yeah.

Russia. Of course. We stole this money and killed. They killed for all that money. Yeah. Wow. Russia will kill you. Yeah, well.

813 billionaires. Do you want that? really? I was wrong. I thought... If we gave... What would you do for us if we got you a $5 million gold card? And let me preface this by saying, we're not doing it. Yeah, yeah, but what... Well, if you were gonna do it. What would happen? You would do this podcast every week.

Buying her. That's like a buy... You bought a human. Yeah. That's like you would buy a human, which, by the way, you know this is going to enact human trafficking. For sure. That's inevitable of what this is going to do. There's no way this this is a positive program. So what, yeah, what could you even offer us? If Bobby and I Got a bunch of investors to give us enough money to pay for you to become a $5 million gold card citizen. What do we get in return? I can clean.

I can cook. I can wash the dishes. You've never cooked me anything, bitch. Because you never asked. You know, kick me one thing. Today I woke up for my nap. Bacon. You cooking bacon?

Love bacon. Yeah, yeah. Bacon throughout my house. Yeah. None for me. You cook bacon and don't leave extra? No. That's insane.

Yeah, it's insane. That's crazy. Another thing she does is, do you not like me? Because even when we live together, we never see each other. That's because I wake up in the morning, you wake up at night. We don't see each other. There is fact that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But even when you're there, trust me, you don't leave. And what do I give you, donuts. Old fairy donuts, right? I like the pistachia. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, guess what you've gotten me as a gift? Zero. A burden.

A burden. You're a burden. Trust me, light. Let me ask you something. What? Everyone in the room, when you cook bacon at home, you cook the whole package. No. No. What?

What the fuck are you talking about? What are you talking about? You don't cook the whole thing? I'm not going to eat 15 strips? I know. I know. No, but I mean, what do you do is you cook the whole thing and then you have some for the dogs and then you have some in the fridge that you make later with a sandwich, so it's cooked already.

Oh, that's, I never thought of that. It's the best. Every time I do it, you cook the whole fucking You don't do this? I do it I microwave my bacon Maybe this is some Midwest shit I've never been into a house

Back in the day when we were growing up You always had to have extra bacon Because what she's doing is violating you She's cooking in your home Not leaving leftovers for you It's a complete violation It's a complete violation You cook the whole fucking sleeve

You leave some for Tito You give some for the dogs Here some to bacon Tito Bobby No but Rapper Rapper Rapper Rapper Rapper Tito Bobby doesn't even eat Like cold stuff already

You eat some of it it up. No, even then he doesn't eat leftovers. Once it's like... Oh my God! There it is. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. Faceline fat. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't. But don't say it out loud.

Yeah, don't tell anybody that. Yeah, yeah. No, but honestly, you cook the whole sleeve. Maybe that's in the Midwest because every house you go to, they would cook the whole sleeve. You absolutely wouldn't save it. It doesn't make any sense. Also, once you've opened the package of bacon, slimy, sloppy, greasy bacon, you put it in the thing, It's a thing, it's a spill, it's a thing, it's a fridge, it's a nightmare. Don't do it. Cook the whole sleigh from now on, you hook the whole packet, and you go, Tita Bobby, I cook your bacon. And you give some to the dogs, or do you not feed the dog's bacon?

I love, I love, who, let me ask another question. Who gives the dogs treats? You? Exactly. Do you buy any treats? They already have their food. No, no, no, no. Yeah, she's doing Filipino rules.

That's insane. Yeah, yeah, we're in America. Get one meal a day. I know, that's what it is. You have to understand. The dog's food is to keep it a lot. life. Treats are to keep it happy and engage in the world. I just give

it like once a week. What the fuck? It's insane. And also she measures the food. You only get this two pounds. Whatever. You weigh it. You weigh it. I don't want them to be fat. I don't want them to be fat. We have dog who Zimpec now. Yeah, they do. They make it now. Right?

What's a... Waggovi. They have waggovi. Let me tell you something. Yeah. That's fucked up. You've got to feed dogs treats. That keeps them happy and engaged and fun. Trust me. My fear is when she leaves one day with the dogs, they look at me with sad eyes. Yeah. Hey good daddy. They do. Bye-bye. You know what I mean? Bye-bye. Yeah, yeah. I feel so sad about it. You know what you're basically doing? It's like when a prisoner, they slide the meal

through the door slot. Giving them regimented door slot. They're not even satisfied by that. That's so they can get through the day. You've got to go get some more treats. And I want to say another thing, Okay, let me just say another thing, okay? They move out of my house, right? I have a dog, older dog named Remy. Yeah, I know. Right? Perfectly walking, spine fine.

Fine spine. Perfect eyesight. The next time I see it, right? Broken. Not just broken. 50 pounds less. Twisted spine. Legs, you know what I mean?

Gray eyes. He's blind. I go, what are you doing? You gave a dog spine a biffet and made it go blind? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Give it some fucking. No treats, dude. That's why.

No, okay. Because he's just getting old. Okay, you're right. Do you ever give the dog like peanut butter or anything like that? Sometimes. God, dude, what? The joy, you're like ripping the joy of a dog? There's a pill, though, that have you seen that you can extend the dog's life already?

I'm buying it already. Get on it. Get the pill. Biohacking your dog's life. Oh, my God. Second drug for canine healthy lifespan extension receives what? A grant FDA support. Oh.

You can do it already. Zoom in. A developmental drug that aims to extend the healthy lifespan of senior dogs as received an acceptance by the FDA Center for Veterinary Medicine. For Remy, we're going to get it now. The drug is called L-O-Y-O-O-2. L-Y-O-O-2. Target's age-related metabolic dysfunction and is also designed to improve quality of life

and canines aged 10 years and older, weighing at least 14 pounds. Remy's older than 10? One pounds, one pound. He's 10 pounds? Yeah. Well, then if you fed him some fucking treats, maybe we could get him the L-O-Y. He has to be 12? It says, what did it say?

What did it say? It said 14. You got a fat. No, Remy, dude. I'm going to get her in this. You got to get him that. You got to get him that. You want Remy to live?

Yeah. We're going to fatten them up. Okay. By the way, fat and happy is the way most people like to live. They like to live like that. Okay. Yeah. This is great.

I want to buy this immediately. What a great thing. How do you inject it? You inject it or do you feed it? It seems like it's a pill, right? Or it's something they chew on. Pill. Yeah.

By the way, I don't know if you ever have to give your dog pills. We just had to give her pills when we were back home because she was sick. Oh, no. But by the way, impossible. She won't eat it. And we bury it in the treats and the food still knows it's in there. We'll eat all the treat and then spit out the pill. Yeah.

You're fucking genius. She's a genius. It pissed me off. She did it every time. We buried it. Then I put it in a, oh my God. You know the Kong chew toy, you know? Yeah.

And I put it in there with all sorts of fucking bullshit. Yeah. She cleared it out around it. And left the pill. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's incredible. Shopify. Oh boy, buddy.

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Welcome, dude. My dog. Good to see you, bro. How are you? Pete, good to meet you, by the way. Usually you say hi to people when you walk in and say, I... Yeah, you don't walk in like you're like adhering the headlines. Your boy Pete just walked in and he starts like fucking snooping around.

Is this your dog? Is this like one of your closest friends? Yeah. Yeah. Do you have Chinese eyes? First of all, first of all, welcome Dave Blunts to the show. Thank you. Dave Blunts.

Give him around applause. Your rapper. You make fantastic music. Are I the first rapper on here? Yeah. We had MGK on the show. I don't know if you qualify him. Yeah, yeah, I qualify him for sure.

Okay, very good. Yeah. He makes music in general, but you do just rap. Yeah, yeah. But you can... A blending of genres, yeah. A blending of genre. And we'll say for the audience I didn't get to see before.

He brought his friend Pete, who's his boy who's snooping around. Yeah. Hey, I told him to come in here first to check it out. I feel you. And you know, Pete did his job, but usually people say hello. Pete didn't do that. Pete just aimlessly snuck around. and Pete's your second guy. So you had another white guy before him?

Yeah, that's my manager, yeah. Where did you find this white? Man, he found me. He found you. Yeah. That was pretty easy to do. Yeah, yeah. Hell yeah, hell, yeah.

Dave, so you found this, this guy found you, and this is your new manager. He's with you every day? Pretty much, yeah, every day. You trust this guy? I do with my entire life, yeah. I like to hear that. Yeah. This is our manager.

This is Rudy. Say hello to Rudy. Yeah, Rudy. That's our manager. She's a genius. She's a genius. She was ahead of Sony at one point. For real?

Yeah, yeah. Head of, Oh, shit. Head of the belt. This is like, it's like a demotion. Yeah, yeah, it's way down. Yeah.

Thanks, how do you end up here? That was good. Okay. Yeah. Tell them how you ended up here. Because I don't have a visa. She needs a visa. Yeah, she needs a visa.

Okay, but how does that like with Sony? She doesn't work for Sony. She doesn't work for Sony. Okay, okay. He's fucking around. Okay, my dad. But we are trying to raise, it's his niece. We are trying to raise money to get her a visa

a $5 million gold visa from Trump. We're interested to know if maybe you would want to donate some of the proceeds. Nah, man, I just got money, man. I got real shit, real shit, I'm not in a donate. What's your favorite drink? Water, man. I'm glad you guys got this with me, water. This is my newfound favorite drink recently.

No alcohol. I've been on my health journey, you know? Not on alcohol or lean anymore. You know what I'm saying? It's just water for now. Are you smoking weed? No, I quit weed when I was like 20. How old are you?

I'm 24. I was smoking from the time I was like 9 to 20. Nine? Nine years old, wow. Give us your story about speed. How many got calories is wheat? Shit. When you're nine, how do you smoke weed at nine?

Brough, I used to hang around older kids, so they were like teenagers and shit. So, yeah. Where'd you grow up? In Iowa. Fucking Iowa, middle of nowhere. What, like Des Moines? No, no. It was a town called Davenport.

Davenport, Iowa. Wow. Yeah. And you're kicking it with. You're kicking it with a bunch of troublemaking nine-year-olds and somehow someone is an older brother that wants to smoke weed and you're nine. Yeah, a rag-tag, misfit group of kids. You talk to any of these guys anymore now that you've made it now that you're on?

No, no, no. Not that I, you know, like changed up on them. We just grew apart over the years before now. Before now. Yeah. So what is your circle very small now? Yeah, it was pretty big at one point, but, you know, a bunch of shit happened. People change up.

Yeah, now it's pretty small now. You care to share? What happened in your circle that did people steal from you? Nobody was stealing from me. Just using me pretty much, using me. Oh, man. I have a show that I do call Bad Friends

where my partner uses me very much. You use him? Yeah, he does. I'm a user. How? He's a user, baby. In what ways do you use him? Well, he does all the business.

That's right. And I just show up. That's right. Okay. Would you fire me if that was the case? Well, that's your, is he, good at what he does. Very. And you're good at what you do. Not really best. Okay. Well then shit, man, it's a give and take. It is.

I love you, dude. You're a positive guy, dude. You're a positive guy, dude. Is there anything that I cannot say? You can say whatever you want to make sure. I have a fucking gun load. Yeah. Okay. He wants, he doesn't have a gun in the building. You know, I don't. Make sure there's no, all right, cool. No, but it is funny. Because I've seen a clip with him with a gun before. He was like, yeah, yeah, yeah. I just want to make sure that there's no. You can say anything you want. Now, go, you But he doesn't have a gun, though. He's not a gun.

He does not have a gun. I have a little ton of yellow gun. Oh, that's, okay. Okay. Yeah. What do you want to say that you can't, that you think? I just want to make sure. I just before I get to going crazy, you know what I'm saying?

Engel. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I've seen some of your work. You don't say crazy things. I say pretty crazy shit. Yeah, he does. In my music, yeah. Like what?

Oh, man. Thank you. Thanks, Ruth. Oh, shit. Hard art, N-word. But that's you, what you, you're black. Yeah, yeah, but they still have a problem with on Twitter. Oh, they do.

Okay. You have a problem on Twitter. That's Elon, huh? Elon doesn't want you saying the N-word. I don't like Twitter, man. Twitter is just like, fuck Twitter, man. Fuck Twitter. Well, you can say the N-word on here.

Go ahead and say it a bunch if you feel like it right now. Okay. Thank you. I don't really want to say it now when I'm put it on the spot. That's right. I appreciate that, though. Yeah, say whatever you want. But I'll, you know, if I feel like saying it at one point, then I will.

But put on the spot right now, like three white guys. I was looking at me. I'm cool right now. Also, that's definitely not through by because that's a Mexican guy on the left, a Spanish guy in the right, and a vagrant. A homeless man. What is a vagrant? Okay.

I don't offend you. May I say something? It's an opposite. Go ahead and say something, man. This reminds me of, remember in the Dark Night? Dark Night? Yeah, the movie The Dark Night. That guy that was in prison, right?

And he exploded. Look at the cell phone right there. Where? In his belly. Yeah, it was sticking out. You know what I mean? That brought. you back to the dark night yeah yeah that that situation remember oh he ate the cell phone in his

belly yeah yeah that's stupid so dumb boy i sure have some bad observations yeah yeah yeah yeah i'm sorry the observation yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah i'm sorry it yeah it's not funny no no it was funny every time he makes he makes a shot at you you have to take one back yeah yeah hit him and i got another one for you you're a good guy man you're my favorite movie ever what is that by napal express oh wow I can't You had the scene where you were in the van Yeah yeah yeah yeah I can't Is that fucking Bobby Lee right there?

Yeah I can't I had to rewind like three times Yeah I can't Now you feel bad Yeah Yeah yeah yeah so that's me And Ken Jung Yeah yeah yeah yeah in Pineapple Express

How can I ask you in that movie Would you like more The Express or the pineapple? Probably the pineapple Pineapple for show For sure Pineapple for sure You haven't seen the movie have you

I don't have no idea what it's Yeah yeah no it's not We had a whole storyline And they cut it the storyline out We really did. Isn't in like the DVD? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So Dave's even seen that.

That's how much he loves and respects you. And here you are shitting on him saying he eats cell phone. You know, I used to watch Mad TV as a kid. Wow. You did? I remember, yes. I told him, I said, what? You said he was eating a cell phone.

No, I just worried. The visual reminds me of the movie. Cell phones. I don't eat cell phones, man. Tell him what you eat. Tell him that you don't eat cell phones. Can I guess? Go ahead and guess.

Waffles. You like waffles? Blueberry waffles, yeah. I'm a blue waffle. I'm a fan of the blue waffles. Blue Bluerre. Chicken, fried chicken. All right. Everybody eats fried chicken. I love it too. I had it last night. What else? You do. I like this game. What do you think he eats?

Probably Chipotle. No, I've never had Chipotle. You're not good at this game. You never had Chipotle? That is shocking to me. I've never met someone that hasn't had Chipotle in my life. Do you like tacos? No, not really. Collard greens. Yeah, see, he's pretty good at this game. Or not? Okay, what else? Go ahead, Bob. Take it away Memphis barbecue

Why is it covering his face? Because we'll put another image Yeah, what I'm doing to interview Because I feel like what I'm saying is bad Okay, okay Yeah What would I eat? Go ahead.

This is a shot. Um, Rice It hurts, but I love it. Now we're on the same playing field. Okay, what else?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Come on, come on, get it, get deep. Um, shit. That's right, shit. Yeah, yeah. We eat shit. What else, baby? Okay, yeah, yeah.

What else, baby? Come on. I don't want to say the obvious ones Say it Like cats and all types You know what I'm saying You should commit to that though Say it

Yeah yeah yeah David All right fucky Feline cats Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah Hell yeah At night he turns into one At midnight

Yeah I do Yeah This is funny If you say fucked up shit In your on your Like in your wraps And on YouTube But you're a very reserved

Calm sweet guy in life You don't have that I only use it when I need to And I don't really feel like I don't see Bobby Lee as a threat No right You know what I'm saying I don't feel offended by anything he's saying You like me

Yeah I'm a fan I love you to do I love you right now I'm a fan for I'm fanned out right now Oh wow wow that's great yeah So what kind of size mattress You sleep? What type of size mattress are you sleeping on Bobby

I feel like you sleep on a twin grit for Bobby? Yeah you know honestly That was rude Honestly I want to be honest with you Well we're not gonna cut it out Why? Because you asked a real question.

Yeah, and what I want to say to you is this. You sleep on a twin mattress? That's very good. See what I mean? He's opening up. Well, it's actually... Like, I feel like you have like a, like a car bed or some shit. He has like a very like kiddies type bed.

Yeah, there we go. You know, you come in here and I'm being a child. And I'm like, I'm going to just state the obvious. You have child like... But he is a talented young man. Yes, sir. He's extremely likable. I could see you on a sitcom.

Me too. Yeah. You want to act? Yeah, at some point. Let's do a scene. The title of sitcom, way different strokes. Way different strokes, okay. Or it might have a stroke.

Yeah, you might have a stroke. Wait, wait, why does it have a stroke? Okay, go ahead. Yeah, yeah. But let's have your character name for the show. That's Sheila. Yeah, yeah. That's Marmaduke.

Okay. I'm Marmaduke. That's Marmaduke. Hello, hello. And what race's name are you guys? to give me. Jerome. I'm Uncle Bub. Okay. You can name yourself. And you name yourself. Jerome. Jerome. Okay. That's good. I'll take it, man. All right. I'm Uncle Bob. That's Marmaduke and that's Sheila. Mm-hmm. Hi, Jerome. Hey, Jerome. You want to have breakfast? You want to sit down and have breakfast with us?

Well, shit, I don't know if I really want to have breakfast today. I'm already. Let me stop you. I'm right there. I got a name like Jerome. I have to be. I like it. That's a great choice. It's a little too Steve Harvey for me. No, stop. Stop. Stop. Stop the. process. Hi. Jerome, what did you have for breakfast? Well, shit, I already had me some grits before I came downstairs. So I don't really know if I'm too hungry today.

I made you some breakfast. Wow. Thank you. I appreciate that very much. But like I said before, I already had me some. It's great flavored Ozzypick. Oh my kids. Hey, Uncle Bub here.

Kids, get your stuff. We can finally get out of these housing projects. We got to go. Hold on this communist basketball. Just after me some fucking old. Don't call me communist. Uncle Jerome. I'm from Cleveland.

I think it's hit. What's that we? That's Sheila. Sheila, you don't see nothing? Jerome, do you want blueberry waffles? Very good. Very good, Sheila. I can't finish mine.

How many did you make, Sheila? I made ten. You made ten waffles. How many did you eat? One. All right. Nine for you. So you want to make 30 more.

All right. Right. Marma Duke. I'm in a mood. You are. I'm in a real mood. I'm sorry. Jerome. Well, listen, I want you kids to work this out when I go to work. Okay, bye. Bye. Dad. Dad.

Say bye to Dad. All right, pops. I'll see you later. All right, pops. I love you the most, Jamal. You know that. Thank you, but my name's Jerome. Well, in this house, you're Jamal. You get your own house. You can call yourself whatever you want. Just me, dad. Leave. I love you.

We're getting ready for school. Hi, Dad. I love you. You motherfucker. And then when he leaves, I change to my real voice. There it is. I'm not going for none of that shit no more. Yeah?

Well, I'm tired of using your fat as a blanket. I'm tired of you peeing in mason jars and hiding in your bedroom and stinks up there. You know what? Jerome, I love you. Fuck you. And then the credits go down. Credit? Yeah, yeah.

Wow. Well, call ABC. Yeah. There was a show somewhere. Get that. Sony. Call your friends at Sony. There's a show something like that. Dave, what's the deal? Are you on tour? I'm getting ready to go on tour.

You are? Yes, and I'm going to, it's going to be the best tour ever. Who opens for you on tour? We're still setting all that shit up. But, yeah, I'm going on tour April 12th. It begins. April 12th. Yeah. Inglewood, you start here in Englewood, California?

No, no. I started in Phoenix, I believe. Phoenix, there we go. Dallas. Wow, so could we come to it? Would we get comped or backstage, all that stuff? Hell yeah. Hell yeah. Shit, you want to come to the Santa Ana show?

Yeah, Santa Ana. We should do that in May. Yeah. Let's go to the Sanana show, dude. Hell yeah. That'll be fun. It's a consolation room. Are you selling good tickets right now, huh?

You're killing it. That shit's selling pretty good. Yeah, they're coming because they want to see the crowd surf. Yeah, they want to see you crowd surf. Yeah, I announced that I'm going to be crowd surfing at one city on the tour. I don't know what city it is. It's just going to speak to me in the moment. I got to be honest with that.

I don't know. Why is he laughing? I'm not too sure what I said that's funny Well What's funny Boy I sure have some bad friends Yes you do Very good

Very good That's the name of the show I love you do Signs right there I do think I do think I am curious To how the mechanics are going to work Of what

On you on you surfing in a crowd Uh yeah man I mean shit My fans are going to hold me up As I dive into the crowd And you're gonna jump from the stage So who are your friends Triple H, the Rock

Bodybuilders I mean I hope that the Rock is a fan of me Who's there? Arnold Schwarzen I mean who's there dude I mean Dave let me listen my fans

Imagine like a 12 year old skinny kid What the fuck What the fuck? It's kind of like when you know A mom can move a car You know what I'm saying? That's that Listen my fans

I don't have bitch-ass fans bro Okay My fans are like really strong minded and so I feel like that'll just transfer over to physical strength Tell me this. Have you ever crowd surfed before? No, no, hell no.

Okay, but you are going to do at one of these shows. Andrew. Yeah. What is he? Okay, what is he saying? He's asking me to talk you out of doing it. I don't say that. I'd say that.

What the fuck that's crazy? He said, talk him out of it. Nah, no, there's no talking me out of it. He's saying, please, dead serious, please talk him out of it. Someone's going to die, is what he said. They can hear you in the mic now. Dave, you're going to pick a show to do this. You're going to crowdsurve.

You're going to jump from the stage. Yes, yes, sir. Wow. That brave man. I mean, I don't want to crowd, sir. I'm afraid I'll break a neck. You don't want him to do it. What is he, what is he like, why is he talking to you and not?

I'll tell you why. Okay. Can I tell you why? Go ahead, go ahead. My bud. My bud. I feel like I'm being the mean one. Yeah.

And he's playing the nice guy. It's good cop, bad cop. Yeah, yeah. And I feel like the things I'm saying I'm going to get fucking lynched for. Not lynched. Lynch. Winched. Wow.

Okay. No, no, no. Right. Crucissue two days after Black History and Mark. Crucified. Crucified for it. Honestly, I swear to God, that was another thing. Interesting choice of work. Yeah, yeah.

I swear to God, that was another thing. I swear to God. I swear to God, dude. Oh, I get it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going to be crucified for, and you're going to be the saint. Here's what it is. Yeah.

You feel like society is going to move you to the back of the bus. That, better. Better than Lynch. That's better than Lynch. That's what I feel like, yeah, yeah. That was a good one, but it was better than Lynch. You feel like the whole. is going to see this and they're going to sick dogs on you.

That's what I'm saying. You feel like people are going to watch this show. Yeah. And go, Andrew seems to be getting along with Dave. Yeah. Bobby, we should hit with a fucking fire hose. Yes. These are all things that have happened to black people.

What? Yeah, that's me. You know what? That's funny. It's funny. I'm not a soft-ass bitch. I know you're not. And I'll tell you something, right?

This is serious business. We're talking about. about serious business. Okay, let's get to the serious business. And what I'm saying to you is that, you mean, the civil rights movement, you know, it was, what about it? What about it? What are you just saying the civil rights? What about it? What I'm saying is, is that, you know, we fought hard, you mean, and long hard. Who is you? Who is we? What were you doing, you're in this? He was, he was actually a yellow panther. He was around back then. Yellow Panther. Okay. Well, I did my own speech. Okay. You want to hear it? Hate speech? No, you want to hear my, you want to hear my,

Yeah, go ahead. I had a dreaming. That white people would do their own laundry. I had my own speech that night. Okay, that night. What night? What specific night? The civil rights movement was not just one night.

The dark night. Yeah, yeah. I feel like he thinks it was just one singular night. It was the dark night. Okay, hell yeah. So when Martin Luther had this great speech, I did my own speech. Okay. At a Chinese restaurant.

Yeah, it was four people there. But, you know, It moved those four. Yeah. Yeah, it really did. Okay. Yeah. I'm telling you he's, but we're bonding worlds here.

We're bonding really, we're like, do you prefer, like, let's see you and I win a war. That's excellent. Okay, I'll go ahead. Go ahead. See you and I went a war. Okay. We're in a war. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. I'm fine. Wait, before I can I just say something because he mentioned war? Yeah. Did you know that now they're not going to allow transgender people in the military? That's pretty crazy. That's crazy. How do you feel about it?

on it. How do you feel about that? Well, shit, I don't really, shit, I'll go to war with any of these these big. Bada. That's my. I got it. Yeah, yeah. That's a pretty good, you guys like that one? That's a really good way. Thank you. Yeah, yeah, it's a really good. I've been, uh, yeah. I've got that lineup. I've been working on that. Bitch ass and I've wanted to use those three words so bad in conjunction. It's pretty good, man. I like saying those words. Say it. I just got it, Andrew. Say it. And I want you to say it. Uh, right? A sequel to a movie. A sequel to a and tell me the movie that he needs to be in yeah a sequel to a movie that he needs to be in fences yeah wow that's fences wow fences wow fences yeah did you be that win an

Oscar what did anyone win an Oscar for that movie yes driving miss Daisy oh come on man boy I sure have some bad friends there you all yeah yeah I have a little Dick. Okay, all right. Look at me, little guy. A big guy, whatever. You know what I mean? I have a little dick. I have malfunctions in my body, right? Melfunction. Yeah, and I've had people tease me in my whole, I've been bullied. Why are you talking about

your body like he's a machine? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've had I've been bullied. Okay. Right. I've seen it. We have the same cause. Same cause. Yeah, yeah. I mean same cause. We're in the same group. I don't think I want to be in that group. Yeah, but you are. I don't think I'm in that group. You remember what? I'm in a group.

You remember when we used to, and casting directors, you'd be like, we're looking for white, Hispanic, and other. Right, you're other. We're other. We're other. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's saying bonding you as minorities as well. Yeah, we're other, dude.

I feel it, man. Minorities, for sure. And you knew, you, you, you, you're success. And you're killing it. Thank you. What a resilient young man. Thank you. You know, of all, against all odds, I'm doing it.

Yeah, dude. Yeah. Resilience. Oxygen take on stage. You, yeah, you don't have one, you don't have one now. No, I'm doing pretty. good right now, man. I'm on my health journey. You know, I've put down the cup and I've picked up the water. So no more, no more permethasine. I'm not going to say no more. There's a picture right there.

Hold on. Yeah, yeah. You literally have an oxygen. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was running 20,000 people. My God. More than that, probably. Amazing. But yeah, yeah, at the United Center. Now, let's be real for a second. It's my hometown. Can I be real? Yeah. Yep. Shireck. Okay. Can we help you? Uh, I don't think I need help with anything right now. I'll be real. Now, because I'll be real with you. And this is, and I... This is going to say so boring.

No, I'm not going to say any bullshit. I'm not going to say any bullshit. I'm not going to know. Because, you know, I was dear friends with Ralphie. Yes. Right. And I never said anything. Rest in peace.

And I've always regretted that I didn't. It's like, you know, when people have a drug addiction at the store, right? I always go up to me. If you ever want to go to a meeting, I'll take you. And I always do. Well, for your reference, I know, Bobby is a recovering alcohol. Yeah, I know that for sure. So what I'm saying is that I'm a,

Jokes aside, is there anything we can do? Because it's like at the end of the day, we want you to get healthy here. And I'm working on that, you know? But what are you doing? What am I doing? I'm exercising, eating correctly. Okay, good. Drinking a lot of water.

You know, I recently got out of the hospital and that was like a wake-up call for me of sorts. What happened? What happened? Made you go to the hospital? A bunch of bullshit. But yeah, I'm doing good now. You're fine. You're fine.

Did you have a serious incident that made you go to the hospital that? Uh, yeah. Yeah. But I'm chilling now. You know what I'm saying. I'm making the changes, you know. Well, what he's saying is we want Dave Blunts around. Yeah, we're very talented.

I think you're very talented. I think you're very talented and very talented. I think what you can do for me is, you know, just emotional support. There you go. You know, a couple out of boys, claps. Outta boys. Atta boy. And, uh, yeah.

So are your parents still together? My mom, my dad passed away when I was young. My mom, my mom, she's my everything. His dad died too. Yeah, I'm so sorry, buddy. Must in peace. Another thing you haven't. common. We have so much in common.

We might be like... Blood her. Did we just become bad friends? Yeah, yeah, we did. Yeah. I want to do a movie called war babies with you. War babies, yeah. I'll go to war any of these. No, we... No, our father was, you know, in black. Yeah. And he did a couple of wars in different places. And then we're

offspring of that black man. I'd watch that movie. I feel like we could sell that. Yeah, yeah. I don't know if you could. Yeah, yeah. Not to like... We could probably do a two-be release. I would watch. I would watch. love to see it. I think we can do a 2B release, you know,

Plex, free movies and TV. I feel like it might end up on YouTube. It's gonna be YouTube film. Yeah. War babies. So you live in L. Where do you live? I live in L.A.

now. I recently moved here. Well, back in June, I moved here. You like it? Yeah. I didn't like it at first. Then I went back home to visit.

I'm like, I have to fuck out of here and get back to L.A. Yeah, yeah. So now I love it. This is my new home now. Good, dude. You're gonna be touring from here.

It's hard to tour from L.A. There's two guys that tour from L.A. It's tough, I will say. What do you mean? It's hard. Well, I mean, you're flying across a country and you're... Oh, no, I don't fly. Fuck all that. I'm going on a tour bus. Oh, right. Okay. So you... When's the last to be flown? When I came here. When I came here, when I did...

When I did to the Chicago, like the fucking United Center, we drove there, bro. That was 30 hours. Those was the worst mistake of my fucking life. That's a far drive. Yeah, bro. I was on a fucking... I'm not trying to be funny. Oh, I just can I finish for free? Go, go, anyway. So, yeah, man, we drove. there and it was in a sprinter van. Why does he look like he can't like, are you good?

Why did you like get away from the mic and like turn? I'm really listening. Okay, but no, you're not. Like you was turned to what? I have slanty ears too. Okay, all right, all right. I have to lead it this way. God, you're being racist.

Oh, my man. All right. I like that jacket, by the way. But no, man, yeah. It was in a fucking sprinter van and that shit sucked. It was 30 hours nonstop driving. We didn't stop at all. And the fucking seatbelt buckle was poking me.

in my ass at least I hope it was a seatbelt buckle Right Never know it's Sprinter events But now you're gonna be on a tour bus Yeah We did we did the tour bus Him and I did

And don't do you can't poo I saw what I've heard You can't shit on the bus I've seen that in the show Well you physically can't It's also an uncomfortable It's the bathroom The bathroom is small

The toilets against the door You can't do it Yeah You cannot do it Mine's got a pretty big bathroom in it though Really? Yeah Okay

Because ours did definitely not Have a big bathroom We had to put shit in the shower because we ran out of storage space. But go ahead and ask the question. I don't want to. Go ahead. I can't.

I can't. Why? It's the time passed and it's like, it's rude and I don't like it. What was it? You don't like it? I can't. It's going to, it's good. The timing.

You know how in comedy there's timing? Yeah, comedic time. Yeah, yeah. It had to be there. I don't have the confidence to say it. I'm going to guess. Yeah. As a comedian.

Okay, good. I'm going to guess that it's something to do with the flight. Oh yeah, we can talk about that? Yeah, yeah. Let's talk about it. It wasn't going to be funny, but I was just curious about when people see you get on the big, like, scared. I mean, imagine it. My uncle in Germany, who's bigger than you, have to buy the whole aisle.

The whole aisle? Like the aisle that people walk down. No, the row. The row. The row. No, I had the row, right? No, two seats, though. Two seats.

Not the row. Okay. Not the row. Good. Not the real. Yeah, yeah. And they don't get scared, so that's good. I've answered my uncle.

I love you. Do you have a girlfriend? We recently just broke up. Oh, no. You're free. Yeah, you're free, dude. You broke up with her, right? How did that happen?

Yes. You like the white. Kind of. It was like a mutual thing. You like the white stuff. What flavor? Yeah, what flavor do you like? Man, come on, bro.

What flavor you like vanilla? What flavor you like vanilla? Oh, man. Right now. French vanilla. I bet. Okay. It's not even this.

necessarily white. That's just my track record. Ah. I'm attracted to all of them, you know, but But not Rocky Road. I shoot for black, but I land at white. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. You're an L.A. no guy? I don't really like L.A. women, man. I usually go outside of L.A. for the women.

Like Chatsworth? Chatsworth? What's that? You mean surrounding Los Angeles? You mean out of California as a whole? No, I usually be like flying bitches out type shit. You be flying bitches out. Oh, shit. That's the, that's the... best way, dog. Yes, sir. Congratulations, player. We got to fly these buses out. Yeah, you're going to fly him out. And you're putting them up first class? No. Coach, right? Coach, baby. It'll see. Spirit fly. Middle seat. And what if they, because he likes to, he often not, sorry, sometimes Bobby has friends that fly out. Okay. But I'm curious to know, do they stay in a hotel or they stay at your house?

They stay with me, man. What if they say, I want a hotel? Would you get them a hotel? Those ones I usually just go like I don't think it's gonna work out It's not gonna work out yeah You know what you know the signs He knows the signs yeah You know when they're using you No no I don't now I no I don't what do you mean I don't know when they're using me oh you don't know it's hard for me to tell sometimes they do

Do you sometimes they do yeah so you've flown somebody out most of the time they do Some you've flown somebody out yes you realize that they were using you yes and that hurts that hurts it hurts it hurts It hurts because she was living with me yeah oh yeah yeah I know I know oh man But that's happened, has it not happened to me? It has? Damn. He's gone through that. And so did they ask for money and shit?

Yeah, yeah. And they say, will you buy me shit? Yeah, but these ones, man, these are like real trench bitches. Do you know what a trench bitch is? I can guess. Google a trench bitch for me. I don't think you'll be to find it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Something from like World War II pop up. Yeah. Oh, that's a song. Who sings that? Oh, black youngster. Yeah. Black youngsters. Let's see photos of some trench bitches.

Let me read the lyrics. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I didn't know this was. a song. I put my life on the line. I'm gonna break up with you. Don't do it white. Do it like they do it. Let's go. Maybe guys should sing it together. Yeah. I put my life on the line. I'm gonna break up with you ho.

It's over. You've been disrespectful. I hope crazy house come get you, ho. Pistled by the dresser because I'm sleeping by my pistol ho. I don't tongue wrestler when you speaking on my bitch's hoe. I can't put my bitch before my bro. Because my bro, that's my bro. But my bro, he got to know. Then he can't disrespect my hoe. She ain't just know. wait she ain't just know any ho she's something like my mind ho even though she my side bitch

I buy her a range roe ver wow that's really like that's really good that was good that was good yeah that was really good you did the rover thing robert yeah let's do and he didn't even do that I wrote that for you black youngsters so reach out I see a photo of a trench house wait hold on hold on the next lyric literally says trench bitch trench she don't give a fuck about rich bitch I keep my oh so you like a trench bitch this this means she is she is She's from the trenches. From the streets. The trenches.

Right. The trenches. She's not used to like luxury lifestyle. Our generation calls them real ones. Yeah, yeah. That's real ones. Yeah, we're real ones. Yeah.

Anyway, um. Well, listen up Dave Bluntz. We are, you're, you got to come back here. You got to come back here. You got to come. Yeah.

We love you. Do you have any burning questions to ask us before we wrap up the show? Um, anything that you wanted to say? Well, I do want to ask, man, you know,

when we get in a new season, Dave. Oh, never. It's over. It's over. Is like, seriously, it's over? Yeah. Like, bro, no, like, come on. No, it's done.

That was one of the things. That's one of the requirements when Hamas returned the Israeli hospital. All right, all right, all right. All right, all right. That's a true story. No, no, no. When Hamas returned the hostages, they said,

but no more day. No more day. And that was part of the deal. Is it seriously done? My night and I know bullshit. No, it is done. That's my favorite. Oh, I'm sorry.

It's done, yeah. Damn. It kind of left on like a cliffhanger almost. Yeah, well, blame Hamas. Blame Hamas. Oh, that's who did it. How come you didn't get Bobby a role on the show? That's a really interesting.

That's a really interesting question that I really have never had the answer to. I mean, I can give you the answer. Good. We really only worked with people that really kind of were, you know. What? That was like legit actors. The show was filled with really good actors. Gated wasn't even, he had no roles before that.

Yeah, no, that's right. I was being facetious. Now, you know, I had no control over the show. I wish I could have got Bob on the show, but he Dave doesn't like me Dave doesn't like you That's right

Seriously? Let's just move on No dude no Hollywood doesn't really work that way It doesn't work that way Well I wish it did But if it was my show Clearly we're making our own shows together

But when you're on somebody else's show You guys are having a show together Yeah we have a Hulu animated show We do and we have a game And we would love to have you in it Yeah Hey hell yeah Yeah let me know

I'm down You'll play Jerome Hell yeah No we'll make him like A pixie or something What's the Okay What is the animated show about

If you guys want to. I can't. We can't leak it. Okay, okay. But we'll get you off there. I swear to God, we're going to use you. Dave's on tour. Go to, what is it, Daveblunts.com.

Dot co. Dot CO. Some bastardook.com. We got to get that. Oh, we got to get them. Yeah. We got to Daveblunts. Go to Daveblunz.com.

Go to Dave Bluntz. He's going to be down there in the crescent ballroom. Oh, Phoenix. Love, dude. House of Blues, Cambridge. He's going to Texas there, a bunch of Texas states, Atlanta. In New York, the Market Hotel in New York. Well, Dave, do me a big favor.

We appreciate you being on the show. We end the show by you saying something that you really feel deep in your heart to Rudy Jules. If it's a truth, you need to tell her, or something very powerful. Give her a powerful message. To her? She's young. Yeah, she needs kind of a little bit of advice. How does she?

What do you? Six. Yeah. No, she's 20, what, two? 23. 23. Okay. Give her some life advice that you've learned.

Life advice, you know, shit, you know, you're your 20s. This is the time to fuck up and make all the mistakes. Do drugs, being a relationship that's bad for you. You know what I'm saying? This is the time to do it now. Yeah. So when you're 30, like you've been through shit, you're like, all right, now, now it's time for me to, you know, be a good person, citizen. Level out.

So, yeah. Now, I want you to look in that camera right there and say, thank you for being a bad friend. Thank you for being a bad friend.