Bad Friends - Life & Fettuccini

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Starting point is 00:00:27 for illustrative purposes only. This podcast is powered by Huel. H-U-E-L. New customers can use code badfriends for 15% off, plus a free gift. You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots? Woo.

Starting point is 00:00:40 White dude and Asian dude. Woo. You two are disgusting. Woo.a! You two are disgusting. Whaaaaa! Or you two are something. We're bad friends. Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do than our lovable, beloved, Jeon Hong. Jeon Hong. Wow. Wow. And look at, we did Korean hangbok. That's called hangbok?

Starting point is 00:01:30 That's the clothing. And we were a hit at the Renaissance Fair. You guys were a big hit. I mean, there were like, people would bow to us. Wow. I made everyone do accents. Really? Yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:01:44 A boat crash, and we don't know where we are. Well, what is this family story as we look at this photo? Can you describe to me the family history and the story? Well, okay, so my daughter, she's blind. Oh, boy, girl. Yeah, she's blind and deaf. Wow. Yeah, and she has no idea what's going on, right?

Starting point is 00:01:59 The other one is- You look wealthy, by the way. Yeah, we're very wealthy, yeah. So then Dumbfounded plays a man who has many murders. And he looks that way. He looks tired from all the murders. Yeah, he murdered so many people. Japanese, Chinese, and Koreans.

Starting point is 00:02:15 Wow. But mostly North Koreans. Wow. And I keep going, don't go to the North. Don't go. Yeah, yeah. And he will. Do, do, do, do, do, do.

Starting point is 00:02:23 And Gene is my, well, they think he's my assistant, but there's some, you know what I mean, other privileges I get. You get to have sex with him? That's not what I said. Well, that's what you said. In ancient Korean tradition, we don't talk about stuff like that, but yeah, sex.

Starting point is 00:02:39 Yeah, Gene. Yeah, do, do. So I got you a new wand. Here's a new wand. Here's a new wand. Here you go, dude. It's a new Elvin wand that they have. Oh, look. Yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:02:50 Look at this, it's a butt plug. Yeah, yeah, stick your butt hole right in there. Yeah. Dude, come here, Carlos. Do do do do do. You have a standard, just a wand. Still does magic. Yeah, but barely.

Starting point is 00:03:04 It makes dicks get hard. Oh, that's nice. Are these handmade? Yes. Wow. Yeah, by Incel. In the Midwest. Anyway, here you go.

Starting point is 00:03:12 I get a wand? You get a wand this time. I get a wand? You get a wand. This time. You get a Spanish one. Wow, I actually like that a lot. That one's very pretty.

Starting point is 00:03:20 Here's a Spanish one. Give it to me. All right. I see it. And this one will be mine. And I'm gonna say it's a wand. I'm gonna say it's a wand. I'm gonna say it's a wand. I, I actually like that a lot. Yeah, yeah. That one's very pretty. Do do do do do do do do. Let me see. Here's a Spanish one. Give it to me. All right.

Starting point is 00:03:28 Let me see it. And this one will be mine. And I'm gonna say something to you. I have a wand. Oh, here. Okay, so let's play a little dark magic. I learned about dark magic. And today, ladies and gentlemen,

Starting point is 00:03:40 when you're listening, all right, today's dark magic is about revenge. today's dark magic is about revenge. Today's dark magic is about betrayal. And we have to use our wands to destroy these evil people. Look at me right there, doing a seance. Does that hat fit? No. No.

Starting point is 00:04:00 Is that, I don't know if it's supposed to look like that. It's supposed to look like that. It is. Yeah, yeah. And it was so uncomfortable. You have to constantly balance it. Can I see the girl who's seancing you? There she is.

Starting point is 00:04:10 That's my Aunt Barb. Barb was great. She is. I had no idea what she was talking about, it was great. Now do they speak in tongues and languages? How do they do this? Oh, Yeah, yeah, that.

Starting point is 00:04:23 Italian. It's kind of Italian. Yeah, yeah, that. Galloso. Italian. It's kind of Italian. It's kind of Italian, yeah, yeah. So here's the dark, so. Wait, here's the funniest thing. Go back to that photo to the right. And I apologize for fans at home,

Starting point is 00:04:33 I've lost my voice a little bit. Go out, go to the other photo to the far right. Yeah, now zoom in. The best part is you guys are dolled up, head to almost toe. Now zoom down to the feet. Just sneakers. Yeah, yeah. You guys are dolled up, head to almost toe. Now zoom down to the feet. I just sneaked. Yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:04:48 It's just like the outfits are amazing. And then he's wearing Hoka running shoes. Cause we went to the store, there were clogs and there's no way. You're not rocking clogs all day. Yeah, we're not gonna go rock clogs. Yeah, yeah. So I'm gonna do my golden goose.

Starting point is 00:05:01 They had golden goose's back then. Did they really? Yeah. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. So back to the do my golden goose. They had golden goose's back then. Did they really? Yeah. Do do do do do do do do do do. So back to the dark magic, okay. So I don't know if you all know that I did a short film called Death and Ramen, right?

Starting point is 00:05:14 Boo. No, yay. For that short film, okay. It was good. So I'll tell you something. So I'm at the Renaissance Fair, right? Do do do, right? Andrea Jingo's, cause she's dating a writer.

Starting point is 00:05:26 Ooh. Right, so then he was offered something, or a production company asked him for like, a production coordinator or something, and he goes, for what? He goes, Death and Robin the movie. So I got all excited, I'm like, I call my agents and I go hey oh hi Bobby how are you

Starting point is 00:05:48 hi Julie Liebowitz yes you're the best agents in the world number one Juby Liebowitz yeah hold my call Shereen I'm on the phone with my number one client. Alright, so I'm not... Okay, so I... Juby, did I get the movie? Yes, you got a movie. Yes. Got a movie. Death and Ramen.

Starting point is 00:06:14 No. Yeah. So they... You got Life and Fettuccine. He got the... Life and Fettuccine. We booked you Life and Fettuccine. You're gonna love it.

Starting point is 00:06:28 But that's not the short I did. It's not short at all. It's a seven hour movie. Yeah, really? Yes. Oh, I heard Death and Ramen got Sebastian Maniscalco, so I get the Life and Fettuccine. You got Life and Fettuccine. Yeah, and he got Death and Ramen. Can we switch?

Starting point is 00:06:46 Unfortunately, no. He's better for Death and Ramen. He wasn't the guy that was cast, by the way. You're booking me in Life and Fettuccine? Yeah, yeah. So I called my agent, and he goes, no, they recast you. No way. And I go, why?

Starting point is 00:07:04 And what do they say when you don't get something? We went a different direction. I fucking hate that. It bothers me so much. Yeah. What does that even fucking mean? It means no. It means they hate you.

Starting point is 00:07:15 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Wait, so who got the role? I don't know, but okay, I didn't even get a call. And then when my agents called them, they said, yeah, we're going in a different direction. Wow. Right? And so, you know, it ruined my renaissance. Of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:07:30 Go back to the terror reading, you're telling that photo. Yeah, yeah, in that photo, right? You just look at that photo, tell me, this isn't right after you got the phone call. Yeah, and my question. Look at that face. My question to her was, who got cast in Death and Ramen? No, look, did I really not get Death and Ramen?

Starting point is 00:07:43 Right. And every card was a death card. Right, right. And some guy being hung or slain, you know what I mean? So everybody, I normally don't do this, but I think it's war. I think it is. I think it is.

Starting point is 00:07:58 And I would do the same for you. And I gotta tell you, you do normally do this. What? This is par for the course. You do do this. Yeah, but not war. Look, you only fight when somebody tries to fight you. Right, so anyway.

Starting point is 00:08:11 Wait, zoom into that photo in the background. Go ahead. And just in the, no, no, no, the people. Yeah? The people over there. On the side. Do do do do do do do do do. Are you making fun of my brother and my sisterhood?

Starting point is 00:08:27 Your breath, no. Yeah. I gotta tell you, dude, I'm fascinated with this world. The fact that they get to escape like this, we don't get to do, I don't get to do this. Saturday, Lisa Gilroy went. I saw that. Yeah, why don't you go?

Starting point is 00:08:41 I'm not interested in being there. I know, but we talked about you. No, no, no. I would go with you. But I mean... You would laugh so hard. I would go with you, but where do you get the outfits? Do I have to buy it there? No. I spent a couple grand on those.

Starting point is 00:08:55 Yeah, I don't want to do that. That's... Yeah, but that's life. I'm going to use it again. When? What? When I develop my time machine. And I actually go to 16th century. Where do they buy these clothes? They mean we went to Koreatown and we went to a hung book place

Starting point is 00:09:10 What's hung book hung book hung book? It's the type of clothing and then I rented all those The irony is you're not all Korean. I know we have one is Chinese. She's Chinese I know and she asked can I wear a Chinese one? We said, no. How dare you? Yeah, yeah, you're doing Korean. How dare you? Yeah, but look at Dumb. He looks dumb.

Starting point is 00:09:33 Yeah, he does look dumb and also- I love Dumbfounded. Let's talk about Dumbfounded for a second, if I may, right? You guys are all wearing mics, you film this. Yeah, yeah, we're wearing mics. What did you shoot this for? Patreon or something?

Starting point is 00:09:45 No, just for pleasure, for experiences. Love it. So, Dom, we're going to, every Asian girl that's there, he had sex with. Really? Yeah, yeah. He's so good. You mean that wench over there?

Starting point is 00:09:58 Yeah. Yeah, I used to fuck that wench. Yeah, yeah. See that woman stewing over a double double toil in trouble over there? Yeah. Making a bubbly stew wench. Yeah, yeah. See that woman stewing over a double, double toil in trouble over there? Making a bubbly stew? Yeah. Pumped her.

Starting point is 00:10:09 Yeah. The food's not great. Really? Yeah. Zoom in in the background again? Yeah, yeah. What are you going to say, dude? I'll say this.

Starting point is 00:10:17 Yeah. This is proof. Yeah. This is proof that everyone is going to find someone that has their weird, fun interest. This is proof. Look at all these people, by the way. That guy with the cool hat and the has their weird, fun interest. This is proof. Look at all these people, by the way, that guy with the cool hat and the glasses on the hat.

Starting point is 00:10:28 Yeah. That's his chick, dude. That's his maiden or his whatever they call him. Yeah, yeah. They all got a chick. And yet I'm alone. I know. That's what's sad about this place.

Starting point is 00:10:37 That's what bothers me. Why see the hottest chicks? But you should have just gone and walked around you and dumb if you wanted to get a chick, because then you brought a lot. Look at Gene's fucking face Yeah, I want to go home. I want to write again. Yeah. Yeah bringing me back to my That's not a happy. He's such a computer boy. Yeah. Yeah, he looks like a computer

Starting point is 00:10:56 Dude, that face is like he caught his wife cheating again. Okay Look at my face. So what am I doing? You're going, yeah, fuck her. No. What's that face? Why the fuck didn't they cast me in Death and Ramen? That's what it is. That's what it is. That's the face. Right. So what does that, tarot cards, really?

Starting point is 00:11:15 Those are spells we can put on Death and Ramen's feature. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll have to do that for sure. Okay, is it, my Wicked Revenge spell, it's a formidable spell. It's powerful. Yeah. More lasting. Well, you want to do that for sure. Okay, is it my wicked revenge spell? It's a formidable spell. It's powerful, long lasting. Well, you wanna do one now? Yeah, but it's $29.95. Oh, fuck. I don't know, give me a cheaper spell.

Starting point is 00:11:33 Yeah, yeah, give me a cheaper one. Yeah, yeah. I don't want a $30 spell. Rival be gone? That's it, that's it. That's it, rival be gone. Please be cheaper. How much?

Starting point is 00:11:41 $30. Jesus Christ. I'll give you the 30. Okay. Can we do it? Yeah, I'll, yeah. Yeah'll give you the 30. Okay. Can we do it? Yeah, I'll, yeah. Yeah, I mean, I just feel like $30, where did they get off charging this?

Starting point is 00:11:49 No, no, no, I got $30. Can you imagine if they asked for a tip? Yeah, yeah. It was like- Give them 50, give them 50. $30 for a spell. Work on the spell, we'll talk about other things, but work on the spell.

Starting point is 00:11:59 Yeah. But you know, we're gonna need things. You didn't know his birthday? Yeah, why did you Google my birthday? Because I thought it. You didn't know his birthday? Yeah. Why did you Google my birthday? Because I thought it was in October, but it's in September. Well, you seriously don't know his birthday and he knows your birthday. It's on my Google calendar.

Starting point is 00:12:15 It's so I don't ever forget. We're putting a spell on you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, no, no. You're getting spellbound. No, you're going to get spellbound. Let me see. What spell could we cast on him?

Starting point is 00:12:24 Who? Who are we doing? Carlos. No, no. We're gonna get spellbound. Let me see, what spell could we cast on him? Who, who are we doing? Carlos, no, no, spell would be negative. But like everything I think of, I'm on. I'll do one, Dimitri Martin. Oh yeah, sick him on him. Whoa. Whoa. I can feel Dimitri in me.

Starting point is 00:12:39 Yeah, yeah. How about this? Yeah. Ooh. Ooh, that's not one, ooh's not one. Ooh, hold on, I'm conjuring it. That's not what who's not one There's a word You've seen Harry Potter

Starting point is 00:12:56 Oventus magic or whatever you're gonna do something like that You will forever be bound yeah, and you studio apartment. Yeah, and never get ever get laid again Your dog's gonna get sick. I mean eventually dog a dog a eventually Yeah, yeah, yeah, oh I did that whoa, that's a part of my fucking cat. Yeah Wow Yeah, why'd you lose your voice? I was singing last night. Oh, when you sing you get this way. When I was singing and yelling, I do lose my voice.

Starting point is 00:13:31 Yeah. It was such a loud night, it was such a loud. Who did you sing with? Michael Peña. Peña was there? Yeah. You went karaoke with Peña? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:13:40 Wow. And we sung a song that I absolutely hate. Yeah. And we knew, there I am. There's my boy. Who's that? Travis Kelcey. Never heard of him.

Starting point is 00:13:49 Yeah. I sang with Peña and Peña was like, what do we want to sing? I said, it's gotta be something that everyone knows that people like. Oh. And so then we're sifting through cool songs. At first we're pitching around songs.

Starting point is 00:14:02 I bet you he knows la la la bom bom. That's what we sung. Exactly. Cause when he goes, la la la, it's so good. La la la la la la la la la bomba. Yeah, yeah. Para bailar la bomba. No, shut up.

Starting point is 00:14:16 Who cares? We sung la cucaracha. La la la cucaracha, is that what it is? No. You're doing the same tune. Oh yeah, how do you sing? La cucaracha. Oh laucaracha. La la la cucaracha. Is that what it is? I don't know. You're doing the same tune. Oh yeah, how do you sing? La cucaracha. La cucaracha.

Starting point is 00:14:29 Da da da da da da. That no puede caminar. Shut up! La la la pamba. La la la pamba. We do it the white way. Yeah. La la la la pamba.

Starting point is 00:14:37 La la la cucaracha. They're all the same song. My favorite Richard Vallens is Donna. Da da da da da da da da. They're all the same. Oh, Donna. Oh is Donna. Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun- shot of whiskey, everybody had to bargain tips. Yeah. And it was a hit. People liked it. People liked it.

Starting point is 00:15:06 No, no, there's no Bronco? Let me try to finish it a little bit. Start one of those songs, let me try to finish it here. Me and Jack Daniel got a history. History books. Pretty good. Give me another shot.

Starting point is 00:15:22 That was smooth. I had to read all the lyrics. They got some make up one. Oh, another shot. I don't know. That was smooth. I had to read it all. Make up some, make up one. Oh, another song? Yeah, yeah. Hangin' round downtown by myself on Easter Island with the statues

Starting point is 00:15:34 and the gifts are with my mind. Wow. That's actually better. Pretty good. Can you name the song I sung? Yeah. Hangin' round. Downtown by myself. What's the song called? yeah hang around downtown by myself what's the

Starting point is 00:15:45 song called that's not what it's called do you not know what it is you know yes oh yeah yeah one of my favorites oh let me? Hey Jude, don't be afraid. Jeffrey Epstein didn't kill himself. He was hung. The Clintons, they are at fault. They did it all because of the children. Thank you. Yeah, that's pretty good.

Starting point is 00:16:30 Yeah. All right. I put the order and we got the confirmation. Rival Be Gone spell. By the way, I love that you put out a spell. It costs $30 and you get an order number. But what the fuck does that mean? How do we get it now?

Starting point is 00:16:41 We are waiting on a rush delivery email confirming that um, Andrica casted the spell. The guy who runs this is just wiping off the pizza from his finger. He's like, Oh, we got one. Well, wait, so hold on one second. Oh my God. We got one. That's what it is. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:17:01 Idiot. Just some guy in a garage. You're right. $30. We were going to charge 10. You're right, man. Idiots will do it. Yeah. Idiot. Just some guy in a garage. Dude, you were right, $30. We were gonna charge 10. You're right, man. Idiots will do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow.

Starting point is 00:17:09 So we put in his birth date, we put in the other person's name, Duthan Raman. And the name is, the cast speller is Andrika? Yeah. We're cursing the show, the movie. By the way. By the way, it's my favorite.

Starting point is 00:17:21 I feel bad though. Nah, you're giving them a lot of publicity. Lot of press. All right, all right. Should Andreeka Kester spell twice on your behalf to increase the chances of success? Yes! No, I press once.

Starting point is 00:17:33 Oh, you had to pay twice? Yeah, yeah. It would have been like- Andreeka? Yeah, seven dollars or something. You drive a hard bargain, Andreeka. I would love to know who this person is and what they look like.

Starting point is 00:17:43 Oh, hi Carlos, thank you for your order from Andrica, one of the founding members of the California astrology association, CAA. I was with that agency for a while. We are writing to let you know what you can expect next. Your order will be processed shortly. Rush quote unquote orders are processed within one business day.

Starting point is 00:17:57 All other orders within a few days. Please allow extra time for order processing over holidays and weekends. Dude, they're acting like this fucking spell has to go through a corporate system. Yeah, yeah. But this is how you know it's real. Yes.

Starting point is 00:18:09 Yeah, it's true. Imagine without it. I know. Thanks, dude. 25% discount. Did we not get the fucking discount? We're a first-time user. But we got a guarantee.

Starting point is 00:18:18 No, Andrica seems to have split off from CAA and is doing her own thing. Oh. Yeah, yeah. Andrica provides the same 365 day guarantee. Oh, sick. It's kind of like Selena on Barnes. Well, let's do that one too.

Starting point is 00:18:31 No, we already. We already did hers. Yeah. Oh, we did hers. By the way, guys, if you're looking to cast a spell on a friend, hit up Andrica and use promo code bad friends for 15% off a spell cast by a psychic consultant spirit channeler.

Starting point is 00:18:45 Yeah. Wow. You know, honestly. This is real. You know what's so fucked? Don't you feel it's real? I know it's real. Yeah, in my heart.

Starting point is 00:18:52 I know it's real. It's like a weird thing. It is. It's like finding gizmo in that china shop. It's real. It's real. It's very real. You don't think it is.

Starting point is 00:19:00 But it is. What, you're gonna go, I'm gonna get like a lamp, right? Or I'm gonna get like an antique, you, or I'm gonna get like an antique, you know what I mean? Jewelry box, right? But then there's a little mogwai there. And all those little, yeah, and those little rules. Little tiny.

Starting point is 00:19:15 Yeah, I don't know what the word number is, like don't, what is it? Well, water. Don't jerk it off? No. No, no, that wasn't a rule. What was it? I thought that was one of the rules.

Starting point is 00:19:23 Don't feed him after midnight. Oh, feed him after midnight. Oh yeah. Oh, one of the rules. Don't feed him after midnight. Oh yeah. Oh, those are my rules. Yeah. When you find me. Don't jerk it off. Don't jerk it off, yeah.

Starting point is 00:19:31 Wait, go up. Three rules caring for a magwai in the movie are don't expose them to bright lights, never get them wet, and never feed them after midnight. I remember the water one. I remember that you can't get them wet. Yeah. Never get them wet.

Starting point is 00:19:43 They don't need, they're self-cleaning. They multiply. They multiply when you get them wet. Yeah. Never get them wet. They don't need, they're self-cleaning. They multiply. They multiply when you get them wet. Yeah, but isn't like their own saliva wet, something that's... How do they clean themselves? They have to be like cats. Like, you know what I mean? No, no, no, no, no, no.

Starting point is 00:19:55 No? No, no, no, they don't ever wash. They sell, they're... So they just smell? No, their skin, their skin continues to shed. They shed. Okay, I don't know an animal like that, but... What do you mean with fur?

Starting point is 00:20:11 Bears yep, but they scratch their backs against the fucking mug wise might scratch Okay, you're my guy gremlins do not clean themselves their creatures specific rules and weaknesses and their cleanliness is not a factor the core Rules to avoid getting them wet so maybe they smell like shit. That's what I think fuck you see a mogwai. You're like oh my god That's what I think. Fuck, you see a Magwa, you're like, oh my God, oh my God. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Like so cute. By the way, it kind of looks like a stinky, stinky little fucker.

Starting point is 00:20:30 Also, grandmas look better to me. Yeah. Yeah. They can get shit done. Yeah, they do. Well look, I mean, look at the difference. Like hey, steal those speakers from that car. Right? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:20:42 And they go to it, right? A Magwa would be like, what? Grab that guy's phone. Grab his phone. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And they go to it, right? A mogwai would be like, what? Grab that guy's phone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Grab his phone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know it. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:20:52 Up the tariffs. Up the tariffs. Yeah, gremlins would do it. The gremlins would up the tariffs. Oh, 185! It was a 145, not 185! Mogwais wouldn't because they're- Look, look, look, they're so scared. They're made in China.

Starting point is 00:21:08 Yeah, that's right. We're trying to stop the Mogwai. Yeah, yeah, yeah, wow. So then feed them at the midnight. Well, they must get like hunger pains at night. It must be tough. Well, there's the Gremlins eating popcorn watching a 3D movie. God, they're so much cooler. They are more rad, dude. They have more style. Their fashion's better.

Starting point is 00:21:24 Dude, would you rather have a Mogwai or a Gremlin in a mosh pit? Come on, it's not even close. It's Gremlin all fucking day. I think I saw that guy on the lift at Metallica. Yeah, I remember that guy. That's Mark. No, that's Rick Ingram. Shopify! Oh my lord, Shopify. You know know we have an online business. We would not have one without Shopify. That's exactly. Nobody does it better than Shopify and it's the hum of the number one checkout on the planet.

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Starting point is 00:24:34 Instacart, groceries that over-deliver. Now you're addicted to the Renaissance fare. Now you're gonna go every weekend. I really like it because I think that it, it just makes me feel at home in a weird way. You look so proper, dude. Yeah, yeah. It's unbelievable. No, we were getting so many compliments

Starting point is 00:24:52 because no one dresses like that. What do you mean? Every photo people dress up. You mean in this traditional garb? But not in this traditional Asian Korean garb. Right. We probably could be the first. I think Andrea is crossing the line here by being a Chinese woman in Korean garb though.

Starting point is 00:25:07 Yeah, yeah. Why don't you get a Korean girl? Also Morpheus glasses. I know, what do you think? Yeah, you don't put Morpheus glasses in there. Although, you know who should wear glasses and cover up his eyes is Jean. I mean, look at those things.

Starting point is 00:25:18 Good God. I know. Put something on those. But she also acts like she's a star already, do you see? Yeah, she's got that vibe. Those glasses, like, I hope it's a Bill Burr now. She does. Right?

Starting point is 00:25:31 Ronnie Chang, look at that. Ronnie Chang and Jimmy O'Yang. Yeah, she's killing it. Yeah, but she's very funny. Look at that nose though. Oh my God. She has Eric Griffin's nose. I gotta be honest with you.

Starting point is 00:25:44 Your nose doesn't look small in that photo either, bud. You both got Asian snogged. You know what, you can now tell how old I am. Just now? Yeah. In this photo? Yeah, I think so. You look younger in real life than you do in this.

Starting point is 00:25:56 This photo's a weird photo. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I look tired. A guy told me when he ran it to me, a fan, he goes, oh, you're better looking than I thought you were gonna be. Oh yeah, yeah. That fucking hurt my feelings. Yeah. You thought I was ugly because you see me on the internet goes, oh, you're better looking than I thought you were gonna be. Oh yeah, yeah. That fucking hurt my feelings.

Starting point is 00:26:05 Yeah. You thought I was ugly because you see me on the internet? People go, you're taller than I imagined. Yeah. What, you think I was a dwarf? You were. Like, what's going on here? Did you think I was Brad Williams?

Starting point is 00:26:16 Yeah. Hey. Wow. Hey. Hey. Yeah. Let's go back to the Gremlins, wow. What a great 80s movie. So many good movies in the 80s.

Starting point is 00:26:24 By the way I rewatched in Embed the other night at the hotel lethal weapon So good so good what what is that? What's that face you're making movie that I have for you guys What do you mean? That's the movie you have for I'm too old for this shit. That's what you say. Yeah Yeah, Danny Glover is a man. So I'm Danny Glover and he's Mel Gibson? Yes. I mean, it's gotta be.

Starting point is 00:26:48 No, I gotta be Danny Glover. You can't be. Yes, I can. You don't have that kind of style. You really wanna make me angry right now, dude? Okay, let's go through the history of the actors that played them. Okay. Right?

Starting point is 00:27:01 Yeah. So these two. Just the idea that he's, you know what I mean, a different color should be of sign. But you got to flip it on its head. Otherwise it's two on the nose. That's the whole point. Oh. Like look when they did the remake with And Pesce was so good in that movie. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Yeah Because at the Renaissance fair we ran into a girl that has a kid and I'm friends with her And I bought the kid A wand but it's like looks like a lightsaber When it was fair, we ran into a girl that has a kid, and I'm friends with her, and I bought the kid a wand,

Starting point is 00:27:25 but it looks like a light saber, so the kid would go, zhiyong, like that. He was loving it. And he hit me in the leg, and I went, ow, ow, and I fell to the ground, and he laughed. So we did it for four hours straight. And then I had to constantly go, ow, ow, ow,

Starting point is 00:27:41 you know what I mean? At some point, you're like, ow, ow, enough. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, but it was crazy So what this new love on that? No, no, no, no, it's no love. It's different. But another thing is is that You see the stress of it Of having a kid. Yeah You know, I mean, it's a lot of yeah. Yeah. Well, you go away. Oh, wait, you know, but see our parents never did that He's let us disappear. Yeah and figure I was kidnapped three times Yeah, they didn't did that. They just let us disappear. Yeah. I was kidnapped three times.

Starting point is 00:28:06 Yeah, they didn't care. Molested all three times. Yeah, yeah, yeah. By Downs Patrol. Wee-oo, wee-oo, wee-oo. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha.

Starting point is 00:28:16 Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. You're on fire today, dude. Shut up. Yeah, keep that in.

Starting point is 00:28:23 I will. Wee-oo, wee-oo, wee-oo. All right? That one's pretty good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You got to keep that in. That's so funny. But, yeah, it's a big responsibility.

Starting point is 00:28:34 But I said in the car I go, because there's a lot of predictions that AI is moving so fast that in the next three or four years, there might be nuclear weapons being released. You know what I mean? Hurry up, speed it up. Let's get this shit over with. So what I was saying is that having a child would be great because if a nuclear bomb

Starting point is 00:28:58 you knew was gonna hit and you had your kid, you wanna be strong for him and hold him and go, I got you, buddy, right? Yeah. But if I didn't have a kid, I want to be strong for him, and hold him and go, I got you buddy, right? Yeah. But if I didn't have a kid, I'd be like, what the fuck, what the fuck is going on? I would freak the fuck out. The real you comes out.

Starting point is 00:29:12 Like the fuck? No, I'm both. You are. Oh, so if a nuclear bomb was coming, and you were alone. Sipping coffee. Yeah, you were gonna be cool. Stoked. If it's like, meh, meh, meh,

Starting point is 00:29:26 boo, boo, national alert, a nuclear war has started, just sipping my coffee and my little breakfast nook going, good. You're not gonna call anybody? Who? Your parents?

Starting point is 00:29:39 I just talked to them an hour ago. Yeah. Love you, you know. There's steps for this. Huh? There's steps for this when a nuclear- Seek immediate shelter. I'm Love you, you know. Yeah, yeah. There's steps for this. Huh? There's steps for this when a nuclear. Seek immediate shelter. I'm already inside.

Starting point is 00:29:48 Go underground. Can't, no basement. Stay low. My chairs are low. I have one of these like little lounge chairs. Cover your mouth and nose. Yeah. What is this, COVID?

Starting point is 00:29:56 Fuck that, dude. Ventilation needs to go off. Shut off the ventilation? I wanna keep it cool inside. Okay, well let me ask you this. It's just, you're dead. You know what's gonna happen? Yeah. You're gonna fucking die. Eventually too. I, well let me ask you this. You're dead. You know what's gonna happen?

Starting point is 00:30:05 Yeah. You're gonna fucking die. Eventually too. I'd rather die now. Me too. But later. Slow death sucks. You know what I mean?

Starting point is 00:30:11 You're just walking on the street, and you're like plop, your arm's gone. And you're like what the fuck happened? What happened, you know? Like imagine though, yeah, body parts just start falling off because of radiation. Like fuck that, just kill me now.

Starting point is 00:30:21 The big blast just shocked me. Now would you get nuclear radiation for country? Meaning that... Mm. I have no fucking idea what you're talking about. Yeah, you will. Yeah. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:30:35 So it's one of my shows I always go to just to watch over and over again, when I have nothing to do. What show? It's Chernobyl on Mac. Very good. Right? And so, you know, they would go We because there was one scene where they had to get these water valves

Starting point is 00:30:50 Released and they can only send three men down there, but the men were gonna die They knew they were gonna die. Yeah, they knew they're gonna die. You'll when you go down there. You'll be dead in a week and Three guys volunteered. I'll do it for country Would you for country. Would you? For country? Yeah. Fuck no. Cause if you and I were sitting there, right?

Starting point is 00:31:09 And if I stood up. You're saying if I go down, if we, you and I go down, if they go Bobby Lee, Andrew Santino, you must do this for country. And it would save the country. Yes. No, you wouldn't. You already showed your cards, dude.

Starting point is 00:31:22 Well. This is what would happen. I'd stand up, right? He wouldn't stand up, I'd sit back down. Right? I'd be like, that fast. And they go, Mr. Lee, did you? And you're like, no, no, no, I just went

Starting point is 00:31:34 and shut up and stretched my back real fast. Yeah, so there was a lot of those kinds of scenes. No, I wouldn't do it for country. That's crazy because. Because. Because it's guaranteed that I'll die, right? But it's not guaranteed it'll save the country. It is.

Starting point is 00:31:46 It's a literal guarantee stamp it will. Because in that particular scenario, right? If the molten lava seeped into water tanks, it would cause an explosion, right? That was gonna make Ukraine, I think half of Poland and some other country completely inhabitable for a hundred years We wouldn't be having these problems now What do you mean by that

Starting point is 00:32:14 That shit would reach Spain before us fucker. You would have died a long time. It definitely reach us first Yeah, we're much closer to that than Spain. Oh really very I Don't know. Moscow? No. It wasn't Moscow. I think Chernobyl is more close to Ukraine. Oh, then Spain for sure.

Starting point is 00:32:34 Yeah, yeah, yeah. So what I'm saying to you is that it's going to make 80 million people die immediately. So would you make that sacrifice for 80 million people? Well, there's 360 million people in America. Do we have to make the decision now? The commander is standing there. Okay, commander, can I ask you a few questions, sir? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:32:55 Sir, commander, sir. Yes, you may. Okay, so listen. Hold on, I talk slow. Where are you from, Commander? Moscow. My name is Vladimir. Great.

Starting point is 00:33:09 Gohan. Vlad, the Impaler? Yes. I love your work. Wait. You may continue, my fellow townsman. Downsman? Doi doi. Doi doi.

Starting point is 00:33:26 Doi doi. So listen. Yes. Just because I do this. Yes. What if in a few days something else happens and then it's. Then we'll send three more.

Starting point is 00:33:39 No, that's why I'm not doing it. Our offer is this. We will give your family 40 rubles. 40? 50. 50? 100 rubles. 100 rubles?

Starting point is 00:33:55 Yes. Sounds like every time I repeat what you say, you go up. Did I say a thousand? A thousand rubles? Yes. All the rubles that your family can eat. That we can eat? Yes, you must eat them because you're gonna have cancer.

Starting point is 00:34:09 Okay. How do we survive? Eat the money. So you wouldn't do it? No way. Yeah. By the way, you just reminded me of that old, Richard Kind told me this, an old Jewish joke he said,

Starting point is 00:34:21 a Jewish kid asks his Jewish father for $100. And the dad says, $60, what do you need $20 for? That's a great job. That's a good job. I would never do it for country. You're not doing it for country either. And you know that. But so some of these men had wives and children.

Starting point is 00:34:46 These are stronger men than we. And I'll admit that. Stop. People go to the military. Your wife and your child. We don't have any fucking kids. No but in this scenario. Okay but I don't, okay.

Starting point is 00:34:56 Okay. Okay my, how many kids? Am I gonna have Wayans kids? I got ten? No you have more raw kids. You have six. Seven. What?

Starting point is 00:35:04 What? I wouldn't do it. So have six. Seven. What? What? I wouldn't do it. So your children will die. I don't give a shit. I'll be dead too. We'll all be dead in heaven together. But if you go in, they will not die. Yeah, but then I won't be with them.

Starting point is 00:35:17 I'll be with them in the afterlife. Ah. Thank you. Would you like their position in the government? Oh. I like your thinking. Yeah. Yeah, okay. How many rubles is that?

Starting point is 00:35:30 20,000 rubles. 20,000 rubles? That's right. I don't know where that went. Pfft. I don't know where that went. What's that old Russian saying? If you hit me- In Russia.

Starting point is 00:35:43 If you hit me with a feather, I'll hit you back with a tank. Is that right? Yes. Jesus Christ. That's fucking brutal. Is this how it's just playing with my chicken? I'm sorry. Live a century, learn a century.

Starting point is 00:35:56 Oh, these are, right. Without effort you can't even pull- Do it in a Russian accent though. Without effort you can't even pull a fish out of the pond. Don't have 100 rubles, but have 100 friends. By the way, that's government fucking propaganda being made. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Look, so you're poor, you eat your toenails for breakfast. Big fucking deal. You're friends.

Starting point is 00:36:18 Yeah, yeah. Look, it's all about friends. Measure seven times, cut once. What does that mean? It's saying if you're making something, like if it's all about friends. Measure seven times, cut once. What does that mean? It's saying if you're making something, like if it's diligent. That's like, that's Japanese shit too. Yeah, yeah, yeah, wow.

Starting point is 00:36:31 The eyes are afraid, the hands do. Yeah. I like wolf analogies here. Give me the wolf one. Work is not a wolf. It won't run away into the forest. No shit. Brother. I wish my waiting job away into the forest. No shit. Brother.

Starting point is 00:36:45 I wish my waiting job ran into the forest. This is all government propaganda. Yeah, that's crazy. You know, Yakov Smirnoff was telling me about that, that how accustomed you get to hearing when he was a kid. Yeah. On the speaker systems. Wow.

Starting point is 00:37:01 Just constant propaganda. Yeah. And I said, what was like the main theme of the Soviet Union, like as a kid, like what were they trying to do to say to kids versus adults? And he was like, they constantly put it in children's heads that Americans specifically

Starting point is 00:37:17 were the worst version of humanity alive. Awful people, bad, bad, evil people. And they paint this picture over and over and over. alive. Wow. Awful people. Yeah. Bad, bad, evil people. Yeah. And they paint this picture over and over and over. And you inherently will, you just a hundred percent believe it. Yeah. And I was like, how did you have the wherewithal to not, you know, he's like, it just, I guess

Starting point is 00:37:35 something just didn't make sense about it. Wow. But I was like, that's how is that, how do you have that? Yeah. You know what's also funny about him is, is that when I saw him at the comedy store. I would fucking love Yakov, by the way. Yeah, the only thing that I remember from his act from years ago was what a country.

Starting point is 00:37:49 What a country. So I rewatched his Rodney Dangerfield. Oh yeah. He's got great jokes. He still does. Yeah. He still does. He's a good joke writer.

Starting point is 00:37:59 Dude, he's a great joke writer. Yeah, yeah. By the way, when I got off my plane today. Yeah. The pilot, you know I got off my plane today, the pilot, you know, the pilot's just saying goodbye. What'd he say? The pilot goes, one cacotai. I'm not kidding. What does that even mean?

Starting point is 00:38:14 It was something I said on this show years ago. Bad friends? Yeah, you said something about cactus. You were like, it was only one cacotai. And I was like, one cacotai. Really? Of all the Bobby moms that I was like, one cacti. Really? Of all the Bobby moms that I get. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:38:28 That one, I was like, I literally go, yes, dude. Yeah. One cacti. One cacti. Oh. You know what, dude? One, one cacti. Don't do that.

Starting point is 00:38:38 Don't. One cacti. But the pilot goes, one cacotie. By the way, this is gonna haunt me. Did you laugh? I cracked, I thought I'd go right on, dude, one cacotie. That one's, because the Bobby mom doesn't get me anymore. Yeah, you know, I'm so glad you got sick on that plane.

Starting point is 00:38:56 I didn't get sick. I lost my voice last night. No, no, no, no, no, when you passed out with Machine Gun Kelly. Because I saw Machine Gun Friday. Did you go to his house? No, I went to his. He just showed up at the store.

Starting point is 00:39:07 He invited us to a party. He did? Yeah. And he hugged me as if we were like Vietnam vets. He's the fucking best. One of the nicest people. In my mind, I'm like, I'm so glad Andrew almost died. Just for that relationship to, you know what I mean, Florida.

Starting point is 00:39:22 Thank you. It was incredible. No, it was. Yeah. Yeah, of all the Bobby moms I get, I got what I mean, flourish. I know. Thank you. It was incredible. No, it was. Yeah. Yeah, of all the Bobby Moms I get, I got them. I was in Vegas this weekend. It's a million Bobby Moms everywhere. Wow.

Starting point is 00:39:31 The dealer. Yeah, the dealer said Bobby Mom? He goes, hey, Bobby Mom. Psh. They call me Bobby Mom. Yeah, yeah. They don't even, I think some don't know my, some guy said Anthony Santini.

Starting point is 00:39:41 And I was like. Yeah, yeah. Just call me Bobby Mom. Oh, Yakov called you Santana. Santana, yeah, Santana. He didn't say your first name. He goes, well, Santana told me, you know what I mean? And I'm like, that's not his name.

Starting point is 00:39:52 I am good at guitar. Okay. So people are saying that Vegas is kind of dead. Is it true or no? You know, it's interesting. I talked to this, as we were going to the airport in the Uber, I was asking the guy, how long have you lived?

Starting point is 00:40:06 I'm always curious about the Uber drivers in Vegas. I'm like, how long have you lived here? Where are you from? Because most of them are foreign. This guy lived there for like 30 years. And I said, how much of the strip is like, because I don't remember it really. Like I just go to my fucking hotel,

Starting point is 00:40:19 do my show or gig and then go home. And they're knocking down the Mirage. They're putting up the hard rock. They're putting a big guitar up there. Wow. I read this thing the other day, literally the other day that Excalibur and those other ones are no more valet,

Starting point is 00:40:34 no more like room service and shit. Yeah. So like the ones that are thriving are thriving, but the ones that are diving are diving, bad. Like the dispersion's insane. Tourism. Some of them are so old too. Well, they're, yeah, right. Excalibur's insane. Tourism's- Some of them are sold too. Well, they're, yeah, right.

Starting point is 00:40:46 Excalibur, like we said, Excalibur, there's one to the South Strip, are sold, and they're dilapidated. Yeah. You know? Talk about dilapidated. Talk about, speaking of dilapidated. It hits the mic right there.

Starting point is 00:40:57 Yeah. Hello. What's up, buddy? Konnichiwa. Konnichiwa. Konnichiwa. What's up buddy? Konnichiwa. Konnichiwa. Arigatou gozaimasu for sending me to Japan. Arigatou gozaimasu.

Starting point is 00:41:13 Arigatou gozaimasu. Ladies and gentlemen, Dax Flame is back. Back from Japan. Dax, do you need headphones or you don't use them? He never likes them. Yeah, I don't like to use them. Okay, okay. How was our little? Yeah, take your clothes off.

Starting point is 00:41:27 Yeah, take your clothes off, get loose, dude. So. By the way, I've never not seen you with four layers on. Doesn't matter what temperature it is outside. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Guy wears two undershirts, a pullover, a quarter zip, a jacket. How was the flight going there?

Starting point is 00:41:42 Good, yeah. What do you mean, what does that mean? What do you mean? It was nice and easy? there? Good, yeah. What do you mean? What does that mean? It was nice and easy? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tokyo to LAX, yeah. The LAX to Tokyo one, I watched two Lord of the Rings movies.

Starting point is 00:41:54 I'd never seen any of those. Well, no, because I've seen a bunch of them. What'd you think of them? They were awesome, yeah, yeah. And then I watched them. You didn't see Return of the King? On the way back, I watched it. Oh, you did?

Starting point is 00:42:04 And I had actually seen that one when I was a kid, but um yeah out of order So I don't think I didn't remember it at all. Yeah, how'd you see an auto order? You mean to on TV? I just my uncle Invited me to go see it and I had not seen the first two and I just watched that whenever it came out So I would have been like 12 or something something happened with your uncle? Yeah. No, no. Anything?

Starting point is 00:42:27 No. Did he go like, let's go swimming? I don't- Did your uncle take you on vacations? No. Yeah, yeah. I didn't spend much time with him. He... I don't remember him ever swimming.

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Starting point is 00:44:06 you get both on-road confidence and off-road capability. Dirt road ahead? Let's go! Truck month is awesome! Ask your Chevrolet dealer for details. Well, that's I'm an investigative journalist. So did you sleep on the flight? I don't think so. Or actually, I think I just slept like an hour or two. Yeah, I'm so happy that we got you to Japan and you shared a video and thank you. Thank you.

Starting point is 00:44:31 Is there any way, it's 11 hours, a long flight. Is there any way we can continue to do this as the year goes on, just start sending you more places? Yeah, I'll do it anytime y'all want. Really? So, so- You had fun then? Yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:44:43 Where would you like to go next? We think Africa. Yeah. Can we send you to Yemen? Libya, do you wanna go to Libya? Yeah. What is it like? Oh, it's beautiful.

Starting point is 00:44:54 It's Northern Africa. Yeah, yeah. What's that country? Wait, hold on, what's that one? Thank you. You wanna go there? What is that, Dax? That's a country in Africa.

Starting point is 00:45:03 What is it? I don't know how to pronounce that. I can't read called? I don't know how to pronounce that. I can't read that. I don't know how to pronounce it actually. Give it a try. Yeah, try. Spell it out. N-I-G-E-R.

Starting point is 00:45:16 Whoa. Whoa. That's the name of the country. It almost sounds worse when you spell it. I know. You might have just said it. Yeah, yeah. What about, would you go to Chad?

Starting point is 00:45:25 That sounds like a white guy place. What's up? Yeah, what's up? Dude, I'm in fucking Africa, dude. Yeah, next time go to Steve too. Mark is just north of us, dude. Yeah, yeah. How about Burkina Faso?

Starting point is 00:45:36 That's a good question. Oh, Mike, look at that. Have you been to Africa? No. Yeah, would you go there? Like to that specific spot? Yes. With those ladies, yeah, those are my cousins. How go there? Like to that specific spot? Yes. With those ladies, yeah, those are my cousins.

Starting point is 00:45:47 How about this? What about that? I have it, I know where I want him to go. I'm so excited because I've been watching a lot of videos about this on the internet. Tell me, tell me. India. Oh, India.

Starting point is 00:45:57 I've actually been there. Fuck. Okay. Pakistan. I've never been there. Yeah, yeah. You know he would have fun in his... That's not about having fun. Okay, no where it's wrong kidding like a gulag or something

Starting point is 00:46:11 Oh, yeah, Salvador. No, I'll sell those awesome. No, but the gulag that they're adding. Yeah. Yeah, what's a gulag? Oh You know, you don't play warzone. No, okay. I've heard the word. It's a harsh prison. Okay. Okay, so here's what we need, Carlos. Give me, put up a picture of the United, I'm sorry, of the world, of the flat earth that we live on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm gonna just throw, I'm gonna throw something at the TV

Starting point is 00:46:39 and wherever it hits, close my eyes. But even if you hit the middle of the Pacific Ocean, we're dropping him off there. Yeah, we have to. Give me something light. Can you swim, swim Dax? Yes. Okay. His uncle cannot is something we learned. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:46:54 Give me something light that's not going to hurt the TV. You look good, bud. Thank you. Thanks. Hold on. An Uncle Polly's. Oh yeah. All right. Here we go. Let's toss it sideways. All right, ready? Yeah. Ooh.

Starting point is 00:47:12 Zoom into that, zoom in bottom right corner. No, I got it, bottom right corner. Up, up, I know exactly where I hit. Up, up on the map, up more, right there. What is that, what's that town with that little outlet that kicks out there? That right there. What is that town with that little outlet that kicks out there? That right there. What is that?

Starting point is 00:47:26 Zoom in, zoom in. What's that called? Jesus Maria. Jesus Maria. Jesus Maria, that's where you're going. You're going to Jesus Maria. I'd go there. Let's bring up a picture.

Starting point is 00:47:37 Just click on one of those little icons and you'll see what the street view is. Yeah. Yeah, there. Check it out. Whoa. That's Jesus Maria. That's it. That actually looks awesome. That's the best pizza. Check it out. Whoa. That's Jesus Maria. That's it.

Starting point is 00:47:46 That actually looks awesome. That's the best pizza. But here's the deal. You have to go to that pizzeria creperie. Yeah, yeah. You have to go to this creperia pizzeria. Yeah, yeah. Whoa.

Starting point is 00:47:56 That'll be you eating it. An albino hamburger. That actually looks so good. It does? That looks so good. It's like a cheese wrapped burger. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Spain.

Starting point is 00:48:04 Yeah. Huh? It is Spain. I know it's in Spain, asshole. You think Jesus Maria is anywhere other than Spain? All right, you're going here, dude. You're going there. When can we send you to Spain? May?

Starting point is 00:48:18 May. Yeah. Let's talk about Japan. Okay. So what'd you do the first day there? I think just walked around, yeah, just walked around. Do you have pictures on your phone you can share with Carlos and he can,

Starting point is 00:48:32 you can text him, you can bring him up on the screen there. Now let me ask you some personal questions. Were there women looking at you there? Did you get any vibes from them? Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe He's a piece of pizza, he's a piece of pizza. The deck's frame. Yeah, yeah. Did you get any vibes from it? Dax frame! Pisa pisa! Dax frame! Yeah.

Starting point is 00:48:48 I don't think like I noticed that. Okay. You are looking for it. Are you ever looking for love, Dax? Yeah. Are you in love right now? No. Can I ask you a personal question? We can cut it. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:49:04 That girl you do videos with, that cute young lady, is she your girlfriend? No, she's my friend's girlfriend. Oh, that's weird. That's weird. Yeah. But do you masturbate to her? Oh boy. No, no.

Starting point is 00:49:14 Why can I ask that? Well, cause Dax is our buddy. You don't think I've masturbated to his wife? Come on. He has. I watch him. It's in my house. Very strange.

Starting point is 00:49:24 All right, Dax, send Carlos some photos that are in your phone. Just everything, just dump everything. Even a couple of nudes that you have in there or whatever. Yeah. But here's the deal. As you search for those, we are gonna continue to send Dax on a world tour.

Starting point is 00:49:36 We'd love to. But here's what I actually wanna enact. In Spain, in Jesus Maria, or should it be a tour of a closer, bigger city, I want him, you gotta do a meetup, Zach., Dax. Okay what's your fucking name? Dax. Is it? Oh my real first name? Yeah no that's not your real name. No uh Theodore. Theodore yeah Teddy. Teddy. Favorite president. Yeah. We got I want to do a fan meetup can we do that? Um yeah. That'd be fucking rad. That'd be cool. International bad.

Starting point is 00:50:05 Do we have fans there? Huh? In Spain? He does. He's way more famous. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you have a lot of fans in Spain? I don't know.

Starting point is 00:50:14 I would assume you have fans all over the world. Maybe so. I don't think any Japanese people knew who I was really, but a couple tourists said hi to me. That's cool. Now who says hi to you? Is it mostly men or women? I feel like women recognize you more.

Starting point is 00:50:30 I think more guys know me, but both actually. Yeah. Yeah. Cause you know on the internet, you're kind of a heartthrob. Do you know this? No. I know some girl that really loves you. There's women that comment all the time

Starting point is 00:50:41 that he's a heartthrob. Yeah. I think you don't, I don't know if you know this or you're just playing coy, but you are. I've had many, many women come across my way that say, I think he's so sexy. Okay, that's awesome. And what would you like to say to those women

Starting point is 00:50:54 that say that? Thank you. Ha ha ha ha ha. And please give Andrew your number and a- No. To give to me. Yes. Me? don't give to me. Yes me and give it to him or give well cuz they get it Why did white him not me cuz they came up to Andrew and said it to him. Oh, okay. That's right

Starting point is 00:51:15 His logic is very good logic I I also sent Carlos a video Y'all saw did y'all see that video? We did. Cool, okay, loved it. So tell me, day one in Japan, take me through the day. Let's see, day one, I got, my flight got there in the daytime, so then I would've walked to my Airbnb and then just walked around.

Starting point is 00:51:38 Describe your Airbnb. Like a room with a kitchen and a little hallway and a bathroom. Small though. Yeah, pretty small, but in Shinjuku. Oh, Shinjenku. Well, let's go with these pictures. Let's go with the first picture.

Starting point is 00:51:55 That one was just like, I took a picture because it was kind of funny. Well, not, I guess, well, actually, maybe that's rude, but it was like horse sushi, so I just thought that was unusual. Wait, Andrew, there's horse sushi there? We gotta go to Japan. I know.

Starting point is 00:52:10 We can't get that here. It's a delicacy. Yeah. By the way, you take pictures like my dad. Yeah. Like this is sideways and- Did you try horse sushi? No, no.

Starting point is 00:52:20 Okay. Are you interested in other meats? Outside of what? Outside of pork and chicken. Pork and chicken and beef, the kind of the standard run. The trifecta. I've tried guinea pig, I think, and- Wait, stop, what?

Starting point is 00:52:33 What? Cause I was, well, I was in Peru where they eat it. They eat guinea pig in Peru? I think that's what it was. Let me ask you something, were there other options? Yeah. What were the other options? I don't remember, a lot of stuff, but I oh my god

Starting point is 00:52:48 Look at what a guinea pig looks like him their lunch in Peru Oh, but it wasn't it didn't look like a guinea pig would it look like a cat no just like Like chicken I guess oh I see that's that's strange. Would you eat honestly be real dude? Would you eat that and right? Would I what eat that animal? Rat. Would I what? That woman? No. The pineapple that's on the.

Starting point is 00:53:11 I would eat the old pineapple. And the olives or whatever. Those olives are beans. I know what they are, but I would eat everything around. Dude, why, don't fry a fucking, one of those when they're smiling. The guinea pig when it's laughing? Dude, he's literally laughing. He told it a joke and then put it in the fryer

Starting point is 00:53:28 Okay, so yeah, you didn't eat a horse you pussed out there. Yeah, and then you went to bed you went to bed Yes, and then the next day. I think I just walked around a ton and Quick question. I'm so sorry Sometimes when you're in LA, there's a certain sound that wakes you up are there any unusual things that happen? Like I guess I get something like a bong Yeah, they wake everybody up at the same time yeah like bong you know I mean no I didn't hear anything like that, but I'm trying to think if there's any sound specific to like you wake up, right? Yeah, something like that.

Starting point is 00:54:05 Time to wake up. Time to wake up. Okay, nothing? The guy being stabbed by a sword, like, Wadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadad because they used to do that a lot. They used to do it all the time. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. And this is a forest? That was like just in a park there. Oh, it's one of those suicide forests I've heard so much about. Was Jake Paul there?

Starting point is 00:54:34 That was Logan Paul who did that. Oh, sorry. Wrong Paul. Retake the joke. Was Logan Paul there? Is he banned from there? We don't know the politics of it He's been he's banned from all forests all forests. He can't catch him in a wooded area at all He can only live in the plains. So what's difference about this forest and a normal American forest for instance

Starting point is 00:54:58 What did you like about this? Um, that was just in the middle of the city And so it was just pretty. Just a regular all forest. It is beautiful. Yeah. You know you were in cherry blossom season, right? I think that I kinda missed it. Just ended? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:55:13 Wow. Damn, cause I went there during cherry, it was beautiful. Okay, that's what I heard. I do think it's early in the April, right? Yeah. March, yeah. Okay. I think they said it like it was like a week late.

Starting point is 00:55:21 What is this? That was just a store with a bunch of stuff. You like stuff, huh? Yeah. Is it toys? Yeah, little toys and stuff. They look vintage almost. I think they were maybe.

Starting point is 00:55:34 Oh, that's cool, dude. That is very cool. Yeah, yeah. I went to, that's at some like mall that has like just a billion stores. And then I went there specifically because Carlos had asked for something from Japan for like, and I used underwear from a vending machine.

Starting point is 00:55:49 Oh yeah, you got him used underwear. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I appreciate that. Did you? Did you get us anything? I got y'all gifts too. Wait, wait, wait, let's go back to the underwear. Did you smell it?

Starting point is 00:55:59 No. Look at me in my eyes, Theodore. Come on, Teddy. Did you smell it? No, I don't have a sense of smell anyways. Okay, then you do. So I haven't like opened it or anything. You haven't?

Starting point is 00:56:16 You weren't curious? Um, I guess you have it with you? Yes, yeah. Let me see. Yeah, will you smell it Andrew? Have you opened it since you brought it here? No. I have my sense of smell. I have mine too. Yeah But it was really hard to buy it because I was just buying myself

Starting point is 00:56:31 Oh, you can smell they had hole as air holes you can smell all that all the smells gone now No, you can actually smell it. Okay smell Akiko no, you know what I thought you were gonna say? This is Aqico. That's Aqico? Aqico. Oh yeah. So they're used.

Starting point is 00:56:51 Yeah. Wow. Wow. This is what Carlos wanted. Imagine the guy that put these on. Oh my god. It's a big fat dude that puts, they put these on sumo wrestlers. Wow.

Starting point is 00:57:04 What do you think, Dax? They look like pretty. They look pretty. Oh my god, it's a big fat dude that puts us they put these on sumo wrestlers. Oh wow Think Dax they look like pretty they look pretty you smell the part You can so weird Akiko Akiko is that of Kiko for sure there was a man who came up to the machine and bought some right before me because I was like just standing there looking for a while because I Just felt too nervous to walk up to it and do it But I saw someone do it and then I went into it Wow So you got a do blush?

Starting point is 00:57:45 Good hands. Oh, I went to a baseball game one day. Oh, that's right, we saw that, yeah, yeah, yeah. And that was, oh yeah, that's the machine. That's the machine. Wow. How much is $503.50? Wow. Pretty good business. Yeah, that's really good. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:57:57 And- What does your dad do? He owns vending machines. Oh, like candy bars and stuff? No, panties? Yeah. Use panties? Yeah. Wow, that's kind Yeah. Use panties. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:58:05 Wow, that's kind of embarrassing. He makes $800,000 a year. Yeah. It's crazy. And his grandma makes 5% of that. All right, let's see the next. We don't know the age, what the woman looks like. So anyway, yeah, let's move on.

Starting point is 00:58:21 No clue. Okay. Oh. Drawings that you liked. That was at that same mall. Oh, that's cool. Did you buy any of those? No. Okay.

Starting point is 00:58:31 I thought that looked like Squidward. It does. It does, but it does, yeah. So you're really soaking in the culture of Japan. You really kind of went far and beyond. It does, but. It does look like Squidward, dude. It undeniably does.

Starting point is 00:58:49 What we asked for, but. I mostly took videos there. Okay. Okay, did you send him video? No. Oh. We saw this one, right? We saw this one already, yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:58:58 Now, did you get lonely at night? Cause you're far away from home. Not really, cause I fell asleep pretty early there, um, because of like sleep schedule. Um, and then mostly I would just walk all day and then fall asleep quickly. Oh. But one...

Starting point is 00:59:17 Did you ever go out at night and go nightlife in it? I didn't do nightlife stuff, uh, but I did like walk around at night just to look around. That's what I mean. But did you go to a nightclub, get your moves on? No, no. Wow, okay. What did you do?

Starting point is 00:59:34 What did you do? The more like eventful things was, I went to like a baseball game. Oh, lovely. And then I ran into a stranger who offered to buy me sushi and he was super nice. He was a fan. Oh he was a fan. Yeah. What did he look like? A Japanese guy named Sho. Oh so he was a Japanese guy that recognized you from the internet. Mm-hmm. How did he come up? Are you Daxo Fallamore label he said I'm Dex Dux and then and then yeah just said nice to meet you and stuff and look okay this I just want to get Dex Dux

Starting point is 01:00:16 frame frame nice to meet you nice that's all he said how'd you know they was a fan so big fan oh he said that he's just pointing at a fan. Oh He likes you guys a lot. Oh, he does. Oh show we love you dog. Love you show. Yeah. Okay good sushi Yes, yeah, how much did he spend on you? I didn't ask but he actually I said you don't have to buy it and then he just offered to buy it still It's very nice. Yeah, Japanese people the best man. man. Some of the nicest people I've ever met in my life. Yeah, yeah. Everyone was super nice, yeah.

Starting point is 01:00:49 So you didn't go looking for other people your age or anything to go hang with? Scope out some friends maybe? No, no. Okay. I met up with a Japanese pop group and filmed a video with them. I saw that.

Starting point is 01:01:04 Would you connect on TikTok? Are they a big pop group and filmed a video with them. I saw that. Would you connect on TikTok? Are they a big pop group? Yeah. What are they called? Fivey. Oh yeah. Fivey. The women pop group?

Starting point is 01:01:13 Yeah. Zoom in. They're so beautiful, Dax. They're very beautiful, yeah. Yeah. And so we made a video where we were going to make a pizza driver. I saw it.

Starting point is 01:01:23 It was very funny. Very funny. Were they nice? Yeah, it was very funny. Very funny. Were they nice? Yeah, they were very nice. Did they speak English? Yes, but I don't think they understood everything I said. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now, were you attracted to any of them?

Starting point is 01:01:35 Yeah, I think they're very pretty. No, but was there one that you kind of- All of them, you liked all of them. Yeah, but I wasn't trying to- But if you were, if you were in Chernobyl. We're back in Chernobyl. Would you have sex with all these women for country? Yes.

Starting point is 01:01:52 For country. For country. Which one of these women would you? Yeah, for country. For country. Or I'm a general. My name is Vladimir. Chernobyl is on fire. okay for country you must have sexual

Starting point is 01:02:08 intercourse with one of these ladies which one would you for country what is for country for Russia for mother Russia we will die everyone everyone will know including Ukraine and Poland. Yes Yeah, and we love Poland. Is anyone interested in who's who would like to know we are telling you Now you pick countrymen Yeah, we're generals. You must do it for country for country you pick Can I point and you cannot show it I feel bad yeah, yeah, yeah Yes, well you how about this? We'll bleep out the color of dress that she's wearing. Oh, okay

Starting point is 01:02:50 And and you can bleep that yeah, we will Blow Bloop what I say I do that one, too. So girl with the when I say I do that one too. So girl with the fuck the girl in the stop it. We're gonna bank it. We'll blank it out. You know we'll protect you. I gotta tell you they're all gorgeous. Yeah, they're gorgeous. They're gorgeous. Yeah. Yeah. Gorgeous. Yeah. Now, I think would be be honest. Yeah, I'll pick. Did you develop a little crush? Uh, perhaps. Do you communicate with them still? Well, not directly with them. But yeah, not directly with them, but yeah, I definitely would have a crush on them, yeah.

Starting point is 01:03:29 On one of, I'm saying, we're not sharing with the crowd. Do you have a crush on one of them? Well, Dax, we have her here. There she is, come on out. Hey. There she is. Good to see you again, Misha Dax. Good to see you. Yeah, so Dax. Good to see you.

Starting point is 01:03:45 Yeah, so Dax, what are you gonna do with this one? It's for country. Would you like to sing or dance? Dax, look at me, right? Dax, for country. For country. What would you like to do with her? That.

Starting point is 01:04:04 Arimasu. Arimasu. have sex to save the country. Yes, very good, very good, very good. But we are not going to use your penis. No. Wow, that's great. Anyway, five. You met with them. Five V E. Five.

Starting point is 01:04:23 Yeah. It's five. It's five. How would you say that? I said five and then they told me five V. Oh I see it now Dex. I see it now. Yeah yeah. I see it now. Wow. Did you have any experiences that you didn't have in LA in Japan? any experiences that you didn't have in LA, in Japan? Maybe going to that baseball game. I sat in the section where everyone's chanting. Do the chant. I've never been there.

Starting point is 01:04:57 In the stadium? Can you do the chant for me? Yeah, like, let's go, let's go. That's how they say that, let's go, let's go. That was the only English part of the chant and then they said, and then there was like stuff in Japanese that I couldn't. What would that be?

Starting point is 01:05:11 I don't, I didn't know exactly what they were saying. Just pretend. What do you think they were saying? What do you think they were saying, what? Oh, they're saying hello to the baseball team. Hello, let's go, let's go, hello, hello. That makes sense. That makes sense. What teams were playing? The Giants and the, I's go, hello, hello. That makes sense. That makes sense. What teams were playing?

Starting point is 01:05:25 The Giants and the, I don't remember the other one. Tokyo Giants, right? Actually, I think it has a different name. Tokyo Big People. Oh, actually, yeah, I guess the Tokyo Giants. It's Tokyo Giants, isn't that who you saw? Yeah. Who are you rooting for?

Starting point is 01:05:43 The Giants. There was a, I went and got sushi and I was at like a conveyor belt restaurant. Oh, those are fun. Those are fun. Very nice. I was feeling kind of like nervous because I didn't know how to get the person's attention

Starting point is 01:05:57 and then the girl beside me noticed that. So then she like kind of helped me. And then she started to talk to me through a Google Translate. Oh wow. That's so cool. The Google Translate. Oh wow, the future. Yeah. I've done that before. Did you talk back?

Starting point is 01:06:09 Yes, and that, I kinda had a little crush on her. Oh, no, no, no, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She said she was also traveling by herself. For where? China. Oh. Yes, good.

Starting point is 01:06:24 Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. And so did you exchange information? No, I just left. What? See, this is, bro. You had a crush and you left. Like in the mood for love. No, it's not that.

Starting point is 01:06:35 Because that girl knew about the love. Well, my point is, is that this is what you have to do from now on. You have one life to live. You gotta take advice from this guy when it comes to dating. Okay. I'm saying, it comes to dating. Okay. I'm saying, because you're dating a lot.

Starting point is 01:06:49 Thank you. What the fuck, that wasn't a shot. Yeah. I said he's been dating, that's what he's doing. You gotta swing the bat. Well, let's get to the gifts, maybe. Okay. Wait, time out, let's go back.

Starting point is 01:06:59 Yeah. You had a crush on this girl. That's right. You didn't continue any of the... No. Why? I don't know. Your fear. Yes.

Starting point is 01:07:10 And your fear of rejection. Or I didn't want to make her feel weird. Well, she's gonna say no, right? Yeah. Anyway, so you gotta take risks. Yeah. I really want to set you up on a date. We tried that. He doesn't wanna, you gotta take risks. Yeah. Can we, I really wanna set you up on a date. We tried that.

Starting point is 01:07:26 He doesn't wanna, you don't wanna. I could do it. I get nervous, but. Did we get any submissions to Carlos from the booth to date Dax from last time? Didn't we plug that? Yeah. We talked to them, or watched a couple of videos.

Starting point is 01:07:41 No, I know, but didn't we, we didn't get any new ones? We didn't get any more, no. Well then let's plug it now guys plug it now You want to fall in love with that Dax look in the camera? Yeah, and and do you know what let's go contact the spell lady Oh Andryka and Rico, let's go back to Andrica We'll spend another $30. I'm telling you be real spend another 30 for Dax We're doing a love spell. Let's do a spell for you, bud

Starting point is 01:08:03 Okay, which one would you like? Amazing. Amor. Amor spell. Andrica's blood, new moon, new game. I think blood, whatever the blood is. Forever love. Retrieve your lover.

Starting point is 01:08:15 Sunburst love spell. Which one of these jumps out to you? Irresistible allure. Where is that? Spell. Okay, irresistible allure spell. So this remarkable spell highlights your very appealing characteristics,

Starting point is 01:08:29 bringing them to the surface so others will see your true and undeniable beauty. Once the irresistible allure spell is cast, you can feel more confident, be happy in your skin. You like your skin, Dax? Why? You're gonna like it more. Why do you like your skin?

Starting point is 01:08:42 Because I don't have acne. That's the right question, answer. Yeah, yeah, you say face. What's your birthday? November 5th What year? 1991 a 90s boy. Grab your wand dude What's the other person's name I don't have a specific if known you don't know so just say yeah Women yeah, yeah, yeah women just say. Yeah. Women. Women.

Starting point is 01:09:06 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Women of California. Yeah. Please cast it once. Let's be more specific. No, no, cast it two hours later. Okay, okay, okay, yeah. At the cart. Cast it again.

Starting point is 01:09:14 At the cart. We gotta double it. Double down, dude, you gotta hit, dude. Yeah, yeah. This came back from Vegas, dude, you gotta hit. Yeah, and how much is that spell? Oh my God, there's rush shipping and handling? It's a spell.

Starting point is 01:09:27 That's what I did for Bob's. Okay, good. Okay, we're confirmed, Bex. We're confirmed, yeah. So Japan as a whole, give it a rating. 10 out of 10. 10 out of 10. Yes, yeah.

Starting point is 01:09:39 Hey, can you do a love spell? Can you do a love, I'll pay extra. I swear to God, the money in the car. You owe him like $100. It doesn't matter, do another love ex, for me. Oh, a love spell? Can you do a love? I'll pay extra. I swear I got the money in the car You owe him like a hundred dollars. It doesn't matter do another love ex for me. Oh, I love one for you Yeah, but do it for real. I am get the same category that he has Well, what else is there? I'm so sorry. It's so funny that you I know you really believe it now I know I do believe it because the way you just did that you were very cool. Yeah. Oh, let me read Hold on. He just went well. No sit in your fucking seat

Starting point is 01:10:01 Because the way you just did that, you were very coy. Yeah, yeah, let me read it, hold on. He just went. No, sit in your fucking seat. No, I can't read. Do a forever love. And cast it twice, right? Three times. And, and Tricca does it two hours later again.

Starting point is 01:10:17 All right, just do it twice then. Okay. Yeah, yeah. So we both get one. Okay. Okay. So you know I'm going, by the way, I'm going to Italy in May. Maybe you should come with me to Italy, meet my parents,

Starting point is 01:10:29 hang out with me and my wife. That'd be so fun. Yeah. I'm hoping to be there when they elect a new pope. That'd be great. That'd be crazy. The Filipino one, I'm strong. You want the Filipino pope?

Starting point is 01:10:38 Yeah, I think he's gonna get it. But wouldn't that be crazy if I'm there when they're smoking out the pope? Yeah. You know when they puff the shit on the thing? You would know you Spanish 72 year old dude they elect these guys just so they'll die in a year and a half. I know you know I saw funny me there. It was just so funny. Can I show you this meme? Yeah, how are you feeling in general?

Starting point is 01:11:01 Good life is good. Yeah, yeah How are you feeling in general? Good. Life is good? Yeah, yeah. I've just been a little tired from trying to adjust my sleep, but now I feel like I'm pretty much back to normal. From jet lag? Yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 01:11:12 How long did you stay in Japan? For seven days. Whoa, so you didn't tell me what you did the last couple days. I did the... Pop... I met up with the Pop Stars. And then I mostly just walked. Yeah, and then I Mostly just walked around more and I and then I got y'all a gift as well. We got gifts. Oh my god I can't we see everything. Yeah, they're not like

Starting point is 01:11:35 No, it's the it's what the gift at what counts. Well, I saw a tick tock Well, no, it's no it's actually the gift I agree with that statement. It's the gift that counts. I agree with that statement. It's the gift that counts. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I saw a clip where I, that you like t-shirts. I do.

Starting point is 01:11:52 So I got you some t-shirts. Medium? They're large. I don't mean. Oh, let me see. I like that. Give that to me. I can wear that. You can wear this. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah wear that And then yeah, I don't I couldn't here find anything You don't like them you could have this

Starting point is 01:12:12 What is that? It's just well. It's just coins from Japan. Yeah, he wants those Is this for me? Yeah, so where's mine? So where's mine? Wait, you got me two plain shirts for Japan? There's nothing on them, there's no symbol, there's no... They're from like a popular Japanese store. It doesn't fucking matter, dude. You got me two plain...

Starting point is 01:12:37 Do you know where they're from? What? Uniqlo. We have those here. I know, we have those here. That's what I was asking, if you did anything different than LA. You know, look up Uniqlo locations. I think there's one in the mall.

Starting point is 01:12:47 So you got me nothing. Dex, thank you for this, this is very nice. Shop Uniqlo in the USA. I could get you something else from here. Thank you, Dex, this was very thoughtful, bud. You're welcome. But I can get you something else. Yeah, there's one in Century City Mall.

Starting point is 01:13:03 And there's one in the Valley. Should we just return these and we can get something else? No. I cut the price tag off right before I got it. Smart, smart, smart, smart. Now we can't return them. Okay, good. Well, cause I thought it would be rude.

Starting point is 01:13:13 But. Okay. I do have one other shirt from there. Yeah. It's in my car. I don't want it. Okay. No, what is it?

Starting point is 01:13:23 Does it say anything on it? It has a collar. Honestly, dude don't want it. Okay. No, what is it? Does it say anything on it? It has a collar. Honestly, dude, go get it. No, I don't want it. I need you to have it. It's a large? I can't wear it.

Starting point is 01:13:36 Listen, when we send you to the Congo, where are we going to send you? Spain. Whatever. I don't think Spain now. But where will we send you? Get me a specific a medium shirt specific to what would the area that you're in. Okay. You mean like go to go to like a hard rock cafe or go to like a Hooters or whatever and get Hooters Singapore. I could

Starting point is 01:14:00 order you a high. I don't want I can do that too. Okay. Okay. That's not what I want. I want the thought that counts. Yeah, yeah. You didn't think that through at all. What was the thought of this? The coins? Yeah, yeah. Let's go through those coins. Go ahead. This is just what was left over. I actually just couldn't think of something. So you didn't buy any gifts and then you thought, these guys sent me to Japan.

Starting point is 01:14:26 So that's your change. I'll just get your change. Ha ha ha. Uh. Ha ha ha. Yeah. Okay. Well, yeah, I don't know if you collect coins.

Starting point is 01:14:36 We sent you to Japan. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Do you collect coins? No, dude. dude, nobody does. I'll get y'all both different gifts. No, no, no, I don't want another gift.

Starting point is 01:14:51 Okay. Yeah. I want you to give him another gift. You keep giving me change, you keep giving me loose change from wherever you go. Yeah, yeah. I'm fine with this. Loose change is good for me. I'm too big. Give me loose change. I do have- I don't want them. I have like- Because have like enough from him. I think this is very thoughtful the teachers. Okay

Starting point is 01:15:09 I actually appreciate this. I have a bill like a 10,000 yen bill that I was gonna take to the currency exchange, but I could give it to you. No, it's okay How much is that worth $70? No, it's okay. It's fine. It's fine Yeah, but anyway, um look into the camera and say thank you for being a bad friend Thank you for being a bad friend I just ordered a pizza and when the delivery driver gets here one of Japan's biggest pop groups will perform for them. Are you excited? This is an example of the performance that we'll get. Five, six, seven, eight.

Starting point is 01:16:00 This is going to be awesome. We just got the pizza, but the driver said they didn't want to be in the video. The driver didn't, I don't think, wanted to be on camera today. But then if you would like some pizza there's you can still have pizza Woo, yeah, woo, yeah, woo, yeah.

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