Bad Friends - Marc Maron Kills WTF

Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey! Hey-o! Oh, look at what goes on my feet. Look at what goes on my hands and my body. And look at what goes on our head. And my head. We got new merch, new socks and shirts. It's been a long time since we made merch,

Starting point is 00:00:10 but we really love this drop. That's why we did it. We waited. We think this design is so cool. Baseball caps. Baseball caps. The t-shirts. We have the thank you t-shirts.

Starting point is 00:00:18 And socks. And we have socks. Available right now at badfriendsmerch.com. Hey! Hey-o! Oh, look at what goes on my feet. Look at what goes on my hands and my body. And look at what goes on our head.

Starting point is 00:00:28 And my head. We got new merch, new socks and shirts. It's been a long time since we've made merch, but we really love this drop. That's why we did it. We waited, we think this design is so cool. Baseball caps. Baseball caps.

Starting point is 00:00:39 The t-shirts, we have the thank you t-shirts. And socks. And we have socks. Available right now at bad friends merch.com But I think you're moving too fast, you know the whole lyric, huh? I have no I seen a rainbow yesterday and so many You know that song? What? I got you a gift to start the show.

Starting point is 00:01:09 Tum tum tum tum. Bum bum bum bum bum bum bum. Gift, gift. Dun dun dun dun. Dun dun dun dun. I have no gift. Dun dun dun dun dun dun. Well, last time you told us about how much your new hobby has enthralled you.

Starting point is 00:01:21 And although we couldn't get you exactly what I thought we were supposed to get you, we got you something else. Who did it? What size are they? Your size. Nine? Nine, baby. They're nice. You like these?

Starting point is 00:01:34 I love Europa. These are the Europa Track Control. These are the grippers. Whose are there that they wore and then they don't wanna wear anymore? No, this was a 14 year old boy who lives in Burbank. That's what we got them from. No, really?

Starting point is 00:01:47 Yeah, but they're yours now, dog. Thanks, bud. And look at the rubbers worn out on the brakes. Do they work though? Do they work? Well, they don't break unless like the wheels don't work, but of course they work. Strap up and rock out.

Starting point is 00:01:59 You wanna take a break and roll around the parking lot for a minute? 11.99? That's how much they were. 11.99. What would you like them to be? $300. Three, why?

Starting point is 00:02:11 I want the high tech versions of this. Those are the highest tech. No, dude, I can go online right now and get a higher tech. It's last year's model. Is it really? Yeah. That kid was ripping. Oh, I don't like it.

Starting point is 00:02:22 Come on, put them on. Was it? Put them on and rip around the neighborhood for one minute. Please, it would really help me out. Really? Yeah, I'm having a tough day. I need a good day. All right.

Starting point is 00:02:31 Hell yeah. You're being real? Yes. I wipe out, I swear to God. You're not gonna wipe out. Come on. Where do we go? Outside.

Starting point is 00:02:40 Turn around. Turn around. Jump something, jump something! Dude, he's doing a move! He's doing the E-Log! Jump over the yellows! Jump over the yellows! I don't think we have ice here. I think you have to go get ice.

Starting point is 00:03:50 You okay, Bob? Who has that clip of him falling? That's all I heard, you laughing? No, and that makes me realize that we don't have the friendship that we have. Not true, I ran, I said, are you okay? Then I turned and saw- Oh, you said okay, and then you cackle like a hyena. We have the friendship that we have. Not true. I ran, I said, are you okay? Then I turned and saw.

Starting point is 00:04:05 Oh, you said okay. And then you cackle like a hyena. We have the footage. If you want to rewind it, we can actually watch what happened. Is you fell. I go, oh my God, is he okay? And then I turned my head while we're coming over to you. And those two Mexican guys are dying laughing.

Starting point is 00:04:17 And I mean, dying laughing. Am I wrong? Do you have audio on that? See fucking my friend, my supposed friend cackling like a hyena. Oh, you jump over. Do you have audio on that? See fucking my friend, my supposed friend cackling like a hyena? Oh, you jump over! You said jump over! No, he said it. No, you said-

Starting point is 00:04:34 No, wait, wait! Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop! That wasn't Mexican laughing! You left as soon as the fall happened, you piece of shit, dude! There was no no real white it look to my right shit to my right So it's an Irish Irish laughter what to my right? You left it then you look you piece of shit dude! That's not cool dude! Are you okay? I said are you okay?

Starting point is 00:05:10 In laughing! Watch, listen to the rest. Are you okay? Honestly concerned. Fuck, we said. Hands on hips, nervous. Carlos laugh, see? See? It's all are you okay?

Starting point is 00:05:35 Look at the Mexicans! Look at the Mexicans! Look at the Mexican dudes laughing. Look, look, he's right there. Dude, I know, but dude. Ah! Ah! Ah!

Starting point is 00:05:50 Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Dude, look at him laughing. Look at these Mexican guys laughing. I know, dude, but. Trump, do your job, Trump.

Starting point is 00:06:03 And get these guys. They're cracking the fuck up! No, wait! Po- Yes, he is. Zoom in on that guy, right now. Freeze. Zoom in on the other guy. Can't. Wh- Okay.

Starting point is 00:06:12 From what I see- There's two of them. He ain't laughing, dog. Yes, he is. 100%. He's laughing. Yes, he was. Everybody saw it. Alright, go back to the fall, though. Oh, my fucking God, dude. Here, we have this...

Starting point is 00:06:23 Different angle. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah we have this. Different angle. This is what? Oh my god! Oh my god! Are you okay? Are you okay? That's the first thing you hear. Well I asked are you okay?

Starting point is 00:06:40 I'm the first one! Are you okay in a laughing hyena style? Laugh dude! Rewind the laughter!! Are you okay in a laughing hyena style? Laugh dude! Rewind the laughter! Three are you okays? So many are you okays? Shut the fuck up dude! You're a piece of shit!

Starting point is 00:06:56 You're not a friend of mine. See? Are you okay Bob? We're concerned. Go right to that fall again. Alright everybody don't laugh. When the fall happens, do not laugh If you smile, I will literally know put your shirt down any of you you guys smile. I'm Dude I'm I'm gonna leave laugh you're gonna get deep shit no more I'm not even fucking kidding yes Bob hold on play the video and if anybody in the fucking boost laughs you're fired

Starting point is 00:07:35 any enthusiasm or you can't cover your mouth fuck nothing show your face you cowards all right go oh my god. Oh my god Carlos you're fired See look and I'm concerned are you okay five are you okay? Why are you crying cuz I'm sad you got hurt case. Why are you crying? Because I'm sad. You got hurt. One more for the other angle. Okay, hold on. There's a third angle. Hold on. Play this out. Yeah. Oh, my god. Fancy smiling. Yeah, I need the Mexican dude. you break your wrist? I think I did.

Starting point is 00:08:28 I'm sorry, dude. Dude, you literally aren't a friend of mine. It's so sad. It's so fucking sad. Those guys are laughing and it made me laugh. No, dude. You laughed at impact. That's not true. We just watched it again. I didn't crack a smile. Watch the first one again. Watch the first one and I won't laugh. Okay. Watch. Listen to it. Make it

Starting point is 00:08:48 big. Right when I fall. Jump over the curb. Jump over one of the yellow ones. You're the one. You're the fucking dick. Pause. Pause it. Jump over the curb. Start it over. Jump over the yellow ones. McCone yells. It doesn't matter. You said it. Jump over the curb and I go, yeah, jump over the curb. I repeat what you said. Yeah. That is true. Yeah. Yeah. Jump inside the volcano. Yeah, jump inside the volcano. Yeah jump inside the volcano It's not a cool thing. I thought it'd be cool if you jumped over the volcano you went in. Okay, go ahead See he just said jump over the yellow one Oh.

Starting point is 00:09:23 Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Fuck you. Stop it, sit down. Please sit. Let's move forward.

Starting point is 00:09:33 That's insane. Look, we all learned a lesson. No more gifts. This was retaliation, if I'm being honest, from how much my heart hurt when I bought you those Arsenal shoes and you didn't like them. That's kind of what this was.

Starting point is 00:09:48 Oh really? And I knew that you'd fall on these and I bought them knowing you'd fall. Yeah, one Christmas I bought probably four or $5,000 worth of gifts to you. And yours is worth what, three, $400? We can get into a little bit. I've given you more gifts consistently

Starting point is 00:10:02 than you've ever given me. And I do it in chunks, in big chunks. You do it once you did one time. Yeah. Oh my god I'm sorry that you feel bad. You need to put ice on your hand again. Yeah, you just ice it Oh my god, it was terrible, dude Anyway, that's not what it's like when you go to the roller rink. No, it's way more smooth. You don't go. It's not bumpy it's well chiseled chiseled Concrete is not the move. I was doing some moves out there even too. It looked good.

Starting point is 00:10:26 Yeah, I was slicing it out and everything too. And then the middle part of the thing I can handle. But when it got bumpy and when I heard the little weasel go, jump out of the curve, jump over that red yellow thing, bud. That was him. Yeah. Jump over the yellow thing, buddy. Yeah, he was instigating. You weren't even attempting to jump, you just fell he was instigating yeah I'm not a

Starting point is 00:10:46 fucking professional roller blitter dude not anymore so I think even me saying that is ultimately irrelevant because you didn't even you didn't hurt yourself jumping over the yellow thing you just couldn't even get over the middle of Oh my God. We're done, we're done. No, no, no, please. Hey, you're gonna hang. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God.

Starting point is 00:11:10 Oh my God. I'm gonna be this close, I'll make it through the fucking pipe and then. Okay. You're fucking at it. You know, I gotta tell you something. Can I tell you something why I love you so much? Shut up.

Starting point is 00:11:20 I was having a real, real bad day. Fuck off. Okay, do you want me to level with you for real? My dad had a heart attack last night. Jesus. And he's in the hospital. So I was having a real, real bad day. Fuck off. Okay, do you want me to level with you for real? My dad had a heart attack last night. Jesus. And he's in the hospital. So I was having a crazy day. Which one?

Starting point is 00:11:30 What do you mean which one? Stepdad or real dad? My real father. Okay. What is that? And you laugh now? The one that abandoned you? And see, you laugh?

Starting point is 00:11:43 Yeah, yeah. The reason that you laugh. Say it again. The reason you laugh. Say it again. Is? Yeah, yeah. The reason that you laugh. Say it again. The reason you laugh. Say it again. Is why I laugh when you fall on rollerblades. Say it again. My father had a heart attack last night.

Starting point is 00:11:53 Hey, you think it's funny? See? Now are we even now? Now we're even. Oh, is he okay? He is okay. Yeah, really think he'll be okay though. We'll find out.

Starting point is 00:12:03 All right, sorry. No, it's okay. But that's why I laugh at you when you fall. Because you're actually a bad person. No, you're a terrible human being. Like you're genuinely a bad guy. You're a terrible human being. Well, you'll be hearing from somebody.

Starting point is 00:12:14 A whom? Your assistant can't even answer your text. What are you gonna go get a fucking lawyer? So Andrew, Texas is my assistant on Monday. She doesn't reply until Friday. That's right, one week. He has a shit, right? I go, hey,'s right, one week. She has a shit, right? I go, hey, what's Bobby's schedule?

Starting point is 00:12:27 She has a shit, he has a shit storm, you know what I mean? In rage, right? To whom? About my assistant. I didn't say anything bad to her, I just go, don't worry about it. No, you said great assistant.

Starting point is 00:12:38 Till when I called you. Five days. Yeah, five days. Right? And I called my- Five days? Yeah, yeah, I called my assistant, I go, great job. Continue the work, my friend. And then she texted me and was like, I'm so sorry, I'll never do this again.

Starting point is 00:12:50 She went camping. Yeah, and I- She can't go camping? Brother, she's been camping. Oh, is it another fucking weight joke? What? I don't even know what she looks like. I've never seen her in my life.

Starting point is 00:13:03 You body shaming- You know what's interesting? I've never seen what she looks like and hear Bobby saying how he feels. So you're projecting. No. Oh, interesting. Really? I've never met this human in my life. I don't even know who it is. It's an apparition. As far as I'm concerned-

Starting point is 00:13:16 You've never met Melanie, my assistant. When would I have ever met fucking Melanie? Well then take that out. Oh, fuck you. No, that at least stays in. You feel that way. Yeah, you do. You body shame people. Never seen her in my life. Don, fuck you. No, that stays in. You get out. You feel that way. Yeah, you do. You body shame people.

Starting point is 00:13:26 Never seen her in my life. Don't even know. By the way, as far as I'm concerned, she's chat TPT. I don't even know if she's fucking real. I've never even known this human to be real. Also fat people don't know she's camping. Bam.

Starting point is 00:13:40 Oh my God, bam, dude. This guy's shooting the fat gun. Dude, put away your fat bam, dude. This guy's shooting the fact gun. Dude, put away your fact gun, dude. You asked me for restaurant recommendations. Oh my God. Did I send you to a good spot? We can't go from negative to positive that quick. That's the best part of the show.

Starting point is 00:13:55 No, no, no, no, no, no, I don't like it. The part of the show is- I can't change my mood that quickly. You fault, you make fun of my dad that has a heart attack. No, no, no. I fault you capital like a little child at a playground. Are you okay? Were you okay? Are you okay from the fall?

Starting point is 00:14:09 Is your daddy gonna die? Maybe. Maybe. Huge difference between the two. You fall in the parking lot. He abandoned you. Yeah, and you fell, you little fat jelly roll. Yeah, I got, now, how is it that he's more mad than me?

Starting point is 00:14:22 No, no, I'm not mad. If you shoot at me, I'm going to shoot back. You should have me first! How? You were giggling when I was falling! It's hilarious. It's hilarious! When a short little fat guy falls on rollerblades.

Starting point is 00:14:34 Let's watch it again to see if it's funny. Huh? You wanna watch it again to see if it's funny? No! Do you see what I mean, dude? Dude, it's funny! Alright! It's fucking- this is inherently funny!

Starting point is 00:14:44 Yeah, yeah. That's good, that's good. Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! I fall, I fall, I fall on the ground. I go for the yellow thing, I fall on the ground. I go for the yellow thing. I fall on the ground Laugh into the mic so we know you're laughing will you cut it out having a blast In a beautiful sunny day no less yeah in front of my two favorite Mexicans

Starting point is 00:15:28 Embarrassing all right jump to something fun Imagine if they were like a group of like hot chicks. I mean, come on. That would have been so sad for me. No, no, see, I disagree. Hot chicks would have found it endearing that we were having fun with it. And they would have been like, are you okay, are you okay? No, they'd be like, are you okay?

Starting point is 00:15:38 No, it's not high school. That's right. That's high school. Are you okay? What? They would have got the ick. They would have got the ick, for sure. If they were the ick. They would have got the ick, for sure. If they were, if they were-

Starting point is 00:15:46 A guy with no balance? People want balance. How about this? What do they look for? A job, you know what I mean? Security, balance. Look up traits that women love in men. Balance is not on there.

Starting point is 00:15:55 Yeah, yeah, yeah, balance is on there, dude. No, it's not. Yeah. Traits that women love in men, ready? Confidence, kindness, intelligence, balance. Oh my God, it is, it's the fourth one. Yeah, yeah. Sense of humor. Sense of humor. See, you fell, we laughed. I know, but not that, it would intelligence, balance. Oh my God, it is, it's the fourth one. Yeah, yeah, sense of humor. Sense of humor.

Starting point is 00:16:06 See, you fell, we laughed. I know, but not that, it would give, right, Carlos back me up, but ick. Yeah, it's totally ick. If they're, okay. A producer, ick. Not get a job. How about this? Ick, if they're, ick.

Starting point is 00:16:16 You know what I mean? He's not gonna be in fucking Commando 2. You know what I mean? He's gotta run across the field with a fucking M16. You know what the producer, you know what the producer's a karate ghost? They'd be like, we gotta put this guy in the movie again. Look, you mid, midair, you fucking M16. You know what the producers, you know what the producers of Karate Ghost, they'd be like, we gotta put this guy in the movie again. Look, you mid, mid air, you did a kick.

Starting point is 00:16:28 You did a karate. I didn't kick, dude. My leg, both my legs kicked out. Do women find it important for men to have balance? Do women find it important for men to have balance? You're gonna find out. Oh, fuck. There's a rock in there. Oh, there's a piece of skin.

Starting point is 00:16:41 Yeah, you want some? No, thank you. Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna put it on your body. All right, and I'll punch you. Why? I don't want your skin. Yeah, put my some? No, thank you. Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna put it on your body. All right, and I'll punch you. Why? I don't want your skin. Yeah, put my skin on your body then. I don't want it. That's blood brother.

Starting point is 00:16:50 Look, generally women find it important for men to have a healthy work-life balance, and you do. Work and life out there. Work and life out there. Oh my God. You have a band-aid or no? I doubt this place has a band-aid. I don't even know if we,

Starting point is 00:17:03 we don't have like proper anything here. Okay. You know, someone else said that who walked in the studio and goes, this is how you guys operate. Yeah. This place is a joke. Everybody. It's a joke.

Starting point is 00:17:12 Yeah. People go, oh, congratulations. You know, you got a great podcast. And I'm like, we work in a dump. We work in a dump. In an alleyway. But don't you like it? Isn't this good?

Starting point is 00:17:22 It's the way it is. I would rather this than the other thing? It's the way it is. I would rather this than the other thing. It's like Sesame Street. Like we went down Sesame Street, right? And then there was like a door there. What's up? He's got paper towels.

Starting point is 00:17:32 Please. Do you want some, get him some Purell. Purell is alcohol. It's gonna hurt. Oh my God. But you got to, you have to clean the cut. Oh, you do it. I'm gonna close my eyes. Fuck. Give it to me. Do you have a, when was the last time you got it. Oh my God. You have to clean the cut. Oh, you do it. I'm gonna close my eyes.

Starting point is 00:17:45 Fuck. Give it to me. Do you have a, have you, when was the last time you got a tetanus shot? I've never gotten one. Oh shit. Okay. Ah!

Starting point is 00:17:55 Ah! Ah, sorry, sorry, sorry. Yeah, but you have to, you have to clean it. Ah! Ah, sorry. Punch him. Take it out on McCone. Take it out on McCone. Take it out on McCone.

Starting point is 00:18:08 Anyway, let's go to positive. Let's go to positive. You called me up, you said I need a good breakfast restaurant, I suggested it. It was called Miracle Bakery. Yep, in Burbank. So I was with somebody I'm seeing and we were in Burbank and we were shopping.

Starting point is 00:18:21 I bought a 2012 Godzilla statue. Shut up, how big? It it's like this big. Wait is it at your house now? Yeah, I also got a Master blaster statue dude. Where did you go shopping? It's called um it's called blast from the past oh In downtown yeah, I know exactly where yeah, yeah They're gonna master blaster and then I got a transformer, old transfer and then I got a bunch of stickers and whatnot. What? And then I got that. Whoa.

Starting point is 00:18:50 And then we, and then my date was like, she was like, I want something breakfast-y. I go, I don't know any other thing around here. Let's just get tacos. I want breakfast-y. Yeah, you gotta do what they want. When they want breakfast-y, you gotta give it to them. I called Andrew and he brought me to a place

Starting point is 00:19:06 that was really good. And I'm gonna be honest. Let me be honest. When you ask me about a spot, don't I deliver? Typically, I said- That's the thing about you, that's why I call you. I know, I love you. Especially in the Burbank area

Starting point is 00:19:17 because you used to live in that area. Love Burbank. That I know that you know the spots there. I think you know globally. Like if I'm in like Indianapolis, I think you know. I got you. Yeah, you got me. Anywhere in the cities, I think you know the spots there. I think you know globally, like if I'm in like Indianapolis, I think you know. I got you. Yeah, you got me. Anywhere in the cities, I think you know.

Starting point is 00:19:29 Yeah, the rules are gonna be hard for me. Even places like Taipei, if you're in Taipei, I can hook it up. You can hook up Taipei, yeah. So Miracle Bakery, phenomenal stuff. Breakfast is great. Go say hi. Also, they treated me like a king.

Starting point is 00:19:41 Well, you are. No, they were just nice to everybody. They're great people. Yeah, yeah. They make phenomenal food and they cook it all there. We disagreed with the donut. What happened? Well, this is not a really, you're a donut purist.

Starting point is 00:19:53 It's different. Yeah, I disagreed with the donut. Okay. A donut, I mean. But their specialty was all the other, the breakfast items are their best. Yeah. What was wrong with the donut?

Starting point is 00:20:01 It was like a faux nut kind of a, the consistency wasn't what I was looking for. I know. It's probably a little healthier. Probably. That wasn't what I know. Look, it's probably a little healthier. Probably. That's why it's not good. Well, look, healthy stuff that's supposed to be unhealthy, but everything else was excellent. Oh, no. Whoa. It's vacation Marin. It's your shorts. I've never worn slippers. What the slippers about blue chair, babe. Blue chair. What's your, welcome. ShipStation. If you run an e-commerce business,

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Starting point is 00:20:45 ShipStation grows with your business. No matter how big it gets, you can start like Bad Friends did out of a little shanty where our first studio was to now we've expanded to get you all of this new merch and gear that we've got. Thank you to ShipStation because fastest, most affordable way to ship products

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Starting point is 00:21:28 with the help of ShipStation. Upgrade to a smoother shipping experience. Go to ShipStation.com slash bad friends to sign up for your free trial. No credit card or a contract required and you can cancel anytime that ShipStation.com slash Bad friends. Simply say, you know, I have animals. You have a lot of animals. I have people living in my house. Yeah, you're like Noah. And sometimes, and I also live in the woods.

Starting point is 00:21:47 You do live in the woods. Right, and I do. And I, you know, we got simply say from. We got simply say from them. From them. And we put it in Bobby's house. And can I say something? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:21:55 My sleeps have been so, you know why? Because I know a slasher isn't going to walk in. No one's going to be able to walk in. Because I have security and security is what? It's priceless. It's exactly. That's right. And most security systems only take action after somebody breaks in.

Starting point is 00:22:03 Yeah. And I have a lot of security. I have a lot of security. I have a lot of security. I I have security and security is what? It's priceless. It's exactly. That's right. And most security systems only take action after somebody breaks in. Too late. That's way too late. Way too late. SimplySafe's new ActiveGuard Outdoor Protection

Starting point is 00:22:12 helps stop break-ins before they happen. I would have like AI powered cameras, live monitoring agents detect suspicious activity around your property. If someone's lurking, you know what I mean? Agents talk to them in real time, turn on spotlights and can call the police, proactively detect suspicious activity around your property. If someone's lurking, you know what I mean? Agents talk to them in real time, turn on spotlights and can call the police,

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Starting point is 00:22:44 and you got a 60 day money back guarantee. So visit simply safe.com slash bad friends to claim 50% off a new system with a professional monitoring plan and get your first month for free. That's simply safe.com slash bad friends. There's no safe like simply safe. Kachava. Okay. So over the years I've taken protein powders, different types of things.

Starting point is 00:23:03 For years you've been doing that. I've been protein powders, different type of things. For years you've been doing that. I've been doing it and Kachava is my favorite one because I'll tell you why. The flavor, the chocolate, the matcha one, the one with vanilla in it. There's one with chai, there's a chai one. What you do is you just take two scoops, put it into a, what do you call it, a container?

Starting point is 00:23:21 A little shaker. A shaker. Yeah, they give you a shaker. Yeah, they gave you one. You shake it about five or six times. Last. A shaker. Yeah, they give you a shaker. Shake it. Yeah, they give you one. You shake it about five or six times. Last night, I had hunger pains, as you know. And I took two chocolate ones, right?

Starting point is 00:23:31 Shake shook it. Hunger pains went away, right? My body felt great, right? I love Kachava. You look great, by the way. 25 grams of 100% plant-based protein in every single one. That's pretty impressive. Five indulgent flavors. So you got chocolate, vanilla, chai, matcha, and coconut acai, which I love.

Starting point is 00:23:48 With every two scoops of Kachava, you get 85 plus superfoods, nutrients, and plant-based ingredients. You've got to try it. You can fuel your daily adventures with Kachava. Go to Kachava.com and use the code BADFRIENDS for 15% off your next order. I mean, I just, I can't live without it. And I'm being real. No, I know. You love it. And I'm being real. No, I know you love it. This last month, it's could have been Kachava for Papa.

Starting point is 00:24:08 He's having every day. That's Kachava, K-A-C-H-A-V-A.com code badfriends to get 15% off. Oh God. Did you see the sign here, by the way, Mark? Did you see what the kids did for you? Oh, that's nice. That's awesome. That's clever.

Starting point is 00:24:23 Do you have a volume for my cans? Yeah, no, no, he'll tell you, he'll adjust it right there. Get some volumes, please. Oh, that's nice. That's awesome. That's clever. Do you have a volume for my cans? Yeah, no, no, he'll adjust it right there. Get some volumes, please. Yeah, I like to. He's older, he might not hear well. Well, that's funny. That's a pretty good one. How's the new material coming?

Starting point is 00:24:34 Oh, okay. You go right to the throat? That's fucking cruel. And let me tell you something. That's cruel to me ever. And last night, I have to say, Peter Shore came up to me and goes, that's six minutes I've never even seen before.

Starting point is 00:24:44 I know. And they're strong. He told me today, I just spent four hours with him. Yeah. And did he say something about my act? He said he did new material. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Then what's the slam about, guy? I thought it would roll right off you because it's not true.

Starting point is 00:24:57 No, but I should do more. The outfit should be more. Dude, Aaron. He knows. He's clever. He's so clever. He's so good at what he does. He's shifty, dude. He is. Boy with comics, you know, you want me to be open? I can be open. Yeah, Aaron, he's clever. He's so good at what he does. He's shifty, dude. He is. Boy, with comics, you want me to be open?

Starting point is 00:25:07 I can be open. Yeah, you can fly free on this show. I feel that, I feel safe with you guys. You should. When I was driving over here, I thought this is gonna be a supportive, safe room. Yeah. You can say whatever you want to us.

Starting point is 00:25:17 Say whatever you want. No, I got nothing. No. Do you guys have a plan? Yeah, the question- We do. We do. We got a plan for the yam.

Starting point is 00:25:25 Yeah, yeah. The question to me is why would you end, I'm gonna say something before I even say that. I wanna say that I feel like there's two people that are the pioneers in terms of comedy that inspired this generation to do it, which is a generation below you. Yeah, I get it.

Starting point is 00:25:44 It's you. Just one below get it. It's you. Just one below me. And Mario Batali. For sure. His podcast is so good. I think we all, we probably all owe it to Tom Green. Yeah, well you actually. Oh yeah, I did tell him, yeah, yeah, right.

Starting point is 00:25:54 Tom was first. With the video podcast. With the video, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But yeah, who, me and who else? Rogan. Okay. Who's that, who's that?

Starting point is 00:26:01 Joe Rogan. Joey. Joseph Rogan? Yeah, he's out of Texas. Oh, he's Texas. Got it. I got it. Got it. You love awesome? Who's that? Joe Rogan. Joe, he's- Joseph Rogan? Yeah, he's out of Texas. Oh, Texas. Got it. I got it. Got it.

Starting point is 00:26:08 You love awesome, don't you? He's running half the planet out of Texas. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's got a tight hold on the enlightened meathead. Dude, Marin's disdain. It's not disdain. It's reasonable criticism. Reasonable criticism.

Starting point is 00:26:23 Yeah. When was the last time you spoke with him? I don't know. That's a good question. I guess it would have been at the store. I never talked to him in Austin I don't go into the club. I don't really think I'm on his radar. So I don't tells me you are. Oh, yeah Yeah, something. Yeah, something tells me you are I I don't you know It's weird that you get lumped into a certain thing and maybe it's my assumption that, you know, his army of, you know, healthy fellas. Um.

Starting point is 00:26:54 Is that their title? Army of healthy fellas is so good. No, you just gotta, you know, you gotta stay in, keep the machine. The machine's gotta be good. Yeah. That's a shot at Bert, go ahead. What do you think the Austin Shelf Life is gonna be?

Starting point is 00:27:06 I don't know, I think that it's so effectively tribalized at this point, it really comes down to material. I mean, at what point, like at what point, it's like whatever they represented in terms of policy, and it's not a stretch, it's like they won. Trans people are frightened, they have no ability to get healthcare anymore and they're afraid of being alive

Starting point is 00:27:28 and have no freedom left. So that's done. When do you stop with the jokes? When you stop with the jokes. Like immigrants, okay, well they're being ripped away from their homes and yeah, and they're all terrified and okay, so that's done. When do you stop with the jokes?

Starting point is 00:27:44 Right. I mean, it's one thing to pick on the vulnerable We're all terrified and okay, so that's done. When do you stop with the jokes? Right. I mean, it's one thing to pick on the vulnerable and the marginalized, but I mean, they're down. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, like, why do you got to keep hitting them? Unless you're a hack. Now, there's a question.

Starting point is 00:27:57 Wow. Mark, wow. It comes in swinging. Swinging. No, so I don't know the last time I talked to Joe. People for a while were like, you know, why don't you go on Joe's show? And my answer to that is like, why?

Starting point is 00:28:11 Why? Why? Well, it doesn't serve as you. Well, no, I don't need him. And also there's no way for me to, like, what am I gonna talk to him about? And there's no way for me to sort of not walk out of there there and be like, alright, I guess I'll look at my phone Fuck how long is this gonna go on for you know, like right but it's like Martin Luther King and Malcolm X

Starting point is 00:28:33 Maybe meeting at once one point. I think let's go historical with it. Say it again Malcolm X and Martin Luther King meeting they met at one point. Yeah. Well, that's right in the pioneers of the Civil Rights Movement Which one is Malcolm X and which one's Martin Luther King meeting. They met at one point. Yeah. Well, that's right. And pioneers of the civil rights movement. Which one is Malcolm X and which one's Martin Luther King? Martin Luther King. I don't really think that's Martin Luther. The analogy doesn't work. No, no. He's so bad analogies.

Starting point is 00:28:54 Let him keep going with this. It's going to get funnier as it goes on. OK, let me go with more analogies. He's like, this is if Hitler's and Goebbels had to hang out off the work site. Why, one of those is right. Yeah. Yeah, I think you got half that analogy.

Starting point is 00:29:10 See, I'm gonna have to. Why would you just once support me, you know what I mean, with an analogy? Shut up. But that was just wrong. It brought race into it in a very profound way. Yeah. And I would. Mine was angled and funny and distant.

Starting point is 00:29:23 It went somewhere else. Yeah, I think on one side of that, there's a guy that's aggressively fighting for the civil rights of victimized white people. God knows they've had it hard enough long enough time. But has Joe asked you? No. Oh.

Starting point is 00:29:37 Here's a better angle. Adam used to go like, hey, what? And I'm like, no, why? Well, because it's interesting being someone like us on the outside of it and watching you guys. Oh, you got one foot in, baby. Well, yeah, it's right up your ass. Yeah, that's the other foot.

Starting point is 00:29:51 I think what it is for me is I would love to see you guys chat, but I'd love to see you guys chat in neither of your arenas. It would be the only way it'd be legit. Because if you have to go to his show, not gonna work. Very good. He has to go to your house, not gonna work.

Starting point is 00:30:04 You guys would have to do this thing. It's like setting up a mob meeting here. Right. Not gonna work. Very good. He has to go to your house. Not gonna work. You guys would have to do this thing. It's like setting up a mob meeting. Here. Yeah. No, seriously though. They should do it here. Moderated mob.

Starting point is 00:30:11 You should do it here at Bad Friends. They should do it here. It would piss both of them off so fucking much. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Look at the art behind them. I know. It would just be of us behind them. This would be good neutral ground.

Starting point is 00:30:18 But you do have to understand something. I have known Joe since he started. Yeah. I mean, literally since he started. Yeah. I mean, literally since he first set foot on stage. In Boston. I was there. In Boston. Yeah. And I remember my initial issues where there was another guy, Kevin Flynn,

Starting point is 00:30:35 who was out of the game, and he was like a soccer jock. And at that time, Joe was like a regional kickboxing champion. And my initial reaction was like, what are these guys doing here? This isn't for them. All right. It's like Louis once said to me years ago when J. Moore started in New York when he was like 17,

Starting point is 00:30:56 he's like, it's not for them. It's not for the good-looking guys. It's not for the jocks. This is for us rejects, us guys who don't fit in. That's what comedy was. Either way, was J. Moore that good looking? Am I crazy? He was cute back then.

Starting point is 00:31:09 Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. Okay, but let's be honest, let's go back to the truth tree then. Mark Maron is a good looking guy. Not always. I was a little sweaty. You're a good looking, dude, why are you getting TV shows every fucking second, man?

Starting point is 00:31:20 And we'll get to that. Not for my looks. We'll get to that in a second. It is, this company, your face, I've seen you on screen. No, he's a handsome guy, it's annoying. You have great angles on your face. Not for my looks. We'll get to that in a second. It is. There's confidence. Your face, I've seen you on screen. No, he's a handsome guy. It's annoying. You have great angles on your face.

Starting point is 00:31:28 When you were young. Now. Yes, you're right. You matured. When you were young, you were hideous. You were a hideous man to look at. I was long, sweaty and bloated and long hair. But getting back to Joe, look, I imagine.

Starting point is 00:31:41 All right. Sex machine, dude. That was okay. Ladies, who's that? That's a hot- I really couldn't land on a look, could I? Yeah. I imagine that- Sex machine, dude. Yeah, yeah. That was okay. Ladies, who's that? That's a hot- But look, I really couldn't land on a look, could I? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:31:49 God, you really rotated. Now go to the, no, the Comedy Central photo down below. Awful. Awful. Awful. That was a bad night. I mean, this is what anti-semites dream of. Night there.

Starting point is 00:31:59 That's not quite a full Jew. I would say full Jew. Look at the one in me and Sam Kenison. That is me at my drugged out fucking best. Wow. What a legendary photo. That's such a good photo. What a crazy, I was out of my mind.

Starting point is 00:32:14 I know. Out of my mind, everything had a reason. Was that at Crest Hill? That was- Did you live in Crest Hill? Yeah, I did. That was in the back lot. Wait, hold on. Was that Fitz?

Starting point is 00:32:23 Was that you and a young Fitz? Yeah, yeah, that was in Boston, me and Fitz. Yeah. Look at that, dude. Oh my God, dude. I've never seen this photo. Look at how jacked Fitz looks. Wow.

Starting point is 00:32:32 And then up there on the, where's that one of me and Dave Cross in the red shirt? Dave Cross, it was probably in the mid-90s, yeah. Hey. Oh my God. Yeah. Wow. But that night for the Comedy Central,

Starting point is 00:32:43 the first half hours, I was, I fucked it, man. It was so sad, dude, because I got out here, I wasn't living out here, and I was still doing Coke then, right? And I had one guy who would get me the blow here, right? And it was, you remember Bob Baker? Oh yeah. Sure. Bob Baker. Bob Baker, dude.

Starting point is 00:33:03 I couldn't trust Chewy, but Baker had other connections. Chewy had other connections. House of Blues, you can get in there for free. Yeah, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, I don't know what happened to Baker, but he wasn't a dealer, but he, you know, he was here, and I would say like, I'm coming out, you know, try to guess him.

Starting point is 00:33:17 So I was really dead set on like trying to keep clean before that special. And I thought I did because I was like, you know, I'll just do a little the night before, but I'll, I'll stop at because I was like, you know, I'll just do a little the night before but I'll stop at like six at night. You know, and but needless to say, I didn't sleep much and I tanked, I didn't tank but it was not good. It was the same, that was like the same night

Starting point is 00:33:39 that that Hedberg, whether it was that night or the night after did the special that made him. But he didn't do well either but he was him. I was at that special. Yeah, that night or the night after, did the special that made him. But he didn't do well either, but he was him. I was at that special. Yeah, that was at the IVA on- He bombed so bad. Well, and he talks about it in the special, right? Doesn't he talk about eating shit?

Starting point is 00:33:54 He stops at one point and comes out again. It was weird. But it took on mythic proportions, that special. I mean, that really was what put him on the map. But that was the same bunch of taping. So I was kind of sweaty, I did okay. I really didn't have my voice in totally. I was still kind of bitter.

Starting point is 00:34:10 But the saddest thing about this is like, after you do a set like that, you wanna go into a room full of friends and they had food there too. And I'm like, all right, I finished the set and I walk into where the food is. No one's in there but Baker. And he's going, they got roast beef.

Starting point is 00:34:25 And I'm like, wow. Wow, that's the victory party. So what years were you a doorman at the store though? I got out here, I guess it was 86 and 87. So I got out here in like the summer of 86, became head doorman and she made me head doorman. I had to get all these idiot's jackets. It was a different thing there.

Starting point is 00:34:49 She tried to open one in Universal City, like in a hotel there. So it was my job to make the schedule for the door guys. There was no security or anything and nobody wanted this job. So it was me, Rod Blackman, who wasn't a comic, Andy Volver, Mike Jacellnick, do you remember that guy? He became a, he was a lawyer, he's in Cleveland.

Starting point is 00:35:10 You know, Jay Pope was another guy, I can't believe I'm remembering these names. But like, you know, she was like, man, you gotta get him jackets. And I'm like, I gotta get him jackets? So I'm down in fucking Chinatown, trying to find black blazers for these idiots. And yeah, and then like, I gotta get him jackets. So I'm down in fucking Chinatown, trying to find black blazers for these idiots.

Starting point is 00:35:26 And yeah, and then like, I was living in Culver City with Steve Brill, and then they kicked me out of the apartment because like Pete Berg, you know, the director? Yeah. Steve Brill is also director. I went to college with Steve and we were best friends. We actually started doing comedy together.

Starting point is 00:35:41 Pete Berg is killing it now. He does all right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like he did a few Sandler movies, he did Sandler's Last Special he's- He's killing it now. He does all right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like he does, he did a few Sandler movies. He did Sandler's last special, but Berg is definitely killing it. He's definitely killing it. Berg is, that's what he said.

Starting point is 00:35:51 He was your college roommate? Wow. No, Steve Brill was my good friend in college. So Brill lived out here and there was a whole crew of them, including Berg. When I met Berg, he was like, he was running, he was trying to act. I took pictures of those guys

Starting point is 00:36:03 and he used the picture I took of him as his headshot for years out in Culver City. But him and and Brill were friends and I was living with Brill in Culver City in a building his uncle owned or his mom or something and what happened was Berg needed a place to live so all of a sudden they're like you can stay on the couch and it was so sad because I was trying to get in and doing standup. The way I got the job as a doorman at the store is like Mitzi, I was doing PA work. This is a funny story. Like I didn't know what the fuck to do when I got out here. I just wanted to be a comic

Starting point is 00:36:34 and I didn't know how to get on and know anything. And when I got out here, I'd showcase at the store and I showcased, I don't even think it was a real showcase at the improv. And I just like didn't know what else to do. There wasn't any other options. And I started doing PA work. And so the first job that has a PA was on a,

Starting point is 00:36:54 it doesn't matter. Yeah, tell me, tell me. We have to know. It was on a shoot, it was a series of videos called Kid Songs, music videos for kids. Kids song. Kids song. Kids song. Like kids bop.

Starting point is 00:37:06 Yeah, whatever, something like that. And this one was a circus themed one. And they were shooting at the circus Vargas, which was on, it was not, it was, what do you call it when they're not in season? Off season. Off season. Right. So, I know, sorry.

Starting point is 00:37:21 I'm getting old. I see why you're ending the show. Yeah. Yeah. That's pretty good. Thank you. Thank you. Wait, wait, save it. Come on, just finish the story. Don't attack me.

Starting point is 00:37:32 So, it's just all these circus people and these kids and the directors all coked up and it's all crazy. And I'm just a PA running around getting things. But it's like really, it's all circus people and the kids are running around. And then after a day of shooting, there were two clowns. And after we wrapped, the clowns come up to me and they're like, you wanna get high?

Starting point is 00:37:54 And I'm like, yeah, okay. Yeah. Yeah. I'm a PA. I've never been high with a clown. Well, that's the fucked up thing. Like, let's go to our trailer. So I go to the clown trailer and they're in there

Starting point is 00:38:05 and one dude just starts rolling in joy and I go, wait, hold on. You gotta take the makeup off. I can't be stoned staring at you guys in fucking clown makeup. I can't do the clown. The nose, was the nose still on? Everything was still on. Oh wow.

Starting point is 00:38:21 That's insane. So anyway, so I get another PA job for Mitzi and I didn't know it. I just got a job, you get into this circuit of PAs and she was shooting at that time. Where, what is over there now? Where the Petri is, Petri used to be the house of blues and before that it was a house. Wow.

Starting point is 00:38:36 It was called, it was John Barrymore's old house, an old Hollywood house that Mitzi owned and she put a restaurant in there called Barrymore's. And for a while there, no one would eat there. Was it good? I don't know. It was a full restaurant. No one would fucking eat there, man.

Starting point is 00:38:53 Wow. Well, they tried to offer packages, like dinner and the show. So you'd eat dinner and then you'd go to the main room show. But it was a restaurant for a little while and there were production offices underneath it. And she was trying to produce the Comedy Store channel. So she had all the guys that were working at that time

Starting point is 00:39:11 doing all kinds of sketches and all kinds of shit. It was this big undertaking. Ollie Joe Prater? Yeah, probably. I'm trying to remember who was, well, she was fucking Danny Stone at the time. Oh my God. Danny was like, you know, how are you?

Starting point is 00:39:23 He always did like a Rodney Dangerfield bit. He has that kind of vibe. Yeah, always wearing a suit and sweaty, bug-eyed. I heard Jimmy Schuber ate her pussy, but I don't know if I can. All right, Mark, finish your story. Yes. He diverts, and it's-

Starting point is 00:39:37 Sorry, sorry. No Schuber will cop to that. Yeah. Yeah, Schuber used to say- Really? I think so. Oh, that was urban myth, okay. No, no. He used to say, I had a pager on my dick. Yeah, Schubert used to play it. Really? I think so. Oh, that was Urban Myth, okay. No, no.

Starting point is 00:39:45 He used to say, I had a pager on my dick. Yeah, so. Wow, wow. But I don't want to talk out of school, but I think that's public information. Sure. Okay, good, good. It is now. So anyway, so I had auditioned for Mitzi,

Starting point is 00:39:58 and I was running around doing PA on this weird shoot. And you know who was around? Charlie Barnett. Charlie Barnett? You know the guy from Washington Square Park? He was in DC Cab, I think. He was at Comedy Store regular, old street performer. And I just remember he was around,

Starting point is 00:40:11 Ollie Joe was around, all of them. Jan Hart, Karen Haber, all that crew of the late 80s. Freddie Asparagus? No, he wasn't part of that. But I did some blow with Freddie once up at Crestville. All right. You know who that is? I know Freddie Asparagus, yeah.

Starting point is 00:40:24 I've heard the name. What were his three amigos? Yeah. He played the bartenderresto. All right. But you know who that is? I know Freddy Asparagus, yeah. I've heard the name. Three Amigos. Yeah. He played the bartender. Oh, he was. You know what? Yes. That line, that role was-

Starting point is 00:40:31 That scene where he's like, I gotta get out of this town. It's too dangerous. I remember, yeah. He's a good guy. Great guy, yeah. He died, right? Yeah, he died.

Starting point is 00:40:41 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, so anyway, so I know him. I mean, like I auditioned for Mitzi, all I wanna be is a comic. So I'm like, I see her at these, she's running around or moving slowly around in her boa. Yeah. Sashaying around, yeah. And I go, Mitzi, I finally get a minute,

Starting point is 00:40:58 I'm like, Mitzi, I'm Mark Merrin, do you remember me? I audition for you, she goes, oh yeah, you're funny. Go talk to Becker and be a doorman. Wow. So I went up to Mike Becker's office. Was that a big deal back then? Yeah. Wow. Because that was the entry level position.

Starting point is 00:41:14 Wow. So like, so then, so I go meet with Becker and she's, I said she wants me to be a doorman. He's like, all right. And then he's like, can you be head doorman? I'm like, yeah, sure. And I'm fucking in Chinatown buying jackets for guys. But so that's how I got in.

Starting point is 00:41:30 Wow. And what had happened where I was living. So. Crestle. Wait, how old were you? No, this is before I moved to Crestle because I was still at, they made me move to the couch. Okay.

Starting point is 00:41:41 At Brill and Berg's house. But then they just started bringing parties home, bringing chicks home, and they'd wake me up and Berg would be like, play some guitar. You know, I'm like, what am I doing? Why am I the bitch in this situation? Get us laid, dude. This is late 80s, right?

Starting point is 00:41:54 Yeah, and I didn't know how to get an apartment because I was a moron. I was like a feral. And I'm like, I wanted to get in, I had to get out of there, so I go look at apartments, but I don't know how to look at apartments. And then like an apartment opens up down the hall. Some woman needs a roommate down the hall from Berg.

Starting point is 00:42:09 So I go take this apartment, and within days, I'm doing blow, she's supposedly sober, I get her fucked up on blow, and I drank all of her champagne for her party. And then there was literally an intervention. Her and her boyfriend and their friend said, you can't live here anymore. Wow.

Starting point is 00:42:26 And I'm like, all right. And then Mitzi was like, you can live at Crest Hill. And I'm like, great. So that's when I- Who was living there at the time, Crest Hill? Well, for people that don't know, Crest Hill is a house that the comedy store owned and Mitzi would house-

Starting point is 00:42:39 More on the hillside of the store. It's right above the store. It was a great old place. At the time, what was funny, cause I got a really good room. The room right off the kitchen had above the store. It's right above the store. It was a great old place. At the time, what was funny, because I got a really good room. The room right off the kitchen had its own bathroom. It was a good room. And then across the way, Todd, Todd Lemish, the Todd,

Starting point is 00:42:55 Tamayo lived upstairs, Tamayo Zuki. And then across the hall, who the hell was that? Well, Todd, there was another Todd, the sound guy. He lived downstairs. And eventually, Sch the hell was that? Well, Todd, there was another Todd, the sound guy. He lived downstairs. And eventually, Schubert was living upstairs in the porch room for a while. Nancy Redman was there for a minute. I'm trying to remember who lived in that main bedroom.

Starting point is 00:43:15 But that was sort of the crew at the time. But I remember one time, because that's why Kennison was always up there and why I had to go get the booze and everything, because he was with Tamayo and they were always broken up. So he would like come up there and we'd do blow for three days and he just ended up like pounding on our door like, Tamayo!

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Starting point is 00:46:09 I hate shorts by the way. Yeah, you almost never wear them. I never wear them. But I was like, how would I wear them? And I went to Chubbies and listen, when I wore these things, right, I didn't even notice I was wearing shorts. It looked so fashionably good.

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Starting point is 00:47:11 with our code badfriends at chubbieshorts.com. That's code badfriends at chubbieshorts.com. That's C-H-U-B-B-I-E-S-S-H-O-R-T-S.com. Support our show and let them know we sent you. Give summer one last hurrah. Keep the good vibes going with Chubby's. It was crazy. It was the last, I think, really crazy time when I was there. I talked about this recently with Andy Richter and it all sort of comes back to you. You know, because I mean, I've told some of these stories before, but it's like when you get

Starting point is 00:47:41 back to them, it's sort of like, you know, you start, you start, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you start getting back into it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it was just, it was just so crazy because no, Monday night was no cover night, right? Wow. So, so the way that worked was like all the rooms were open, they had to buy drinks, but that was like Sam night. So Sam would take over the main room,

Starting point is 00:48:03 Monday night he'd show up like 10, 30, 11. And then it was just all the freaks from Hollywood would converge. It was just such a... Stevie Nicks, everyone, right? Well, it was like more, it was porn stars occasionally. You know, people would come and Sam would have to, you know, put on a, like he was a good guy show for him. I remember, you know, one time, like,

Starting point is 00:48:22 I was such a fucking cocky dick. Like one time in the kitchen, like Clapton and Phil Collins had come to see Sam. And I don't give a fuck about Collins. Not really give a fuck. But Clapton a little bit. A little, but not much. You know, so.

Starting point is 00:48:39 What? He's not my... Eric Clapton? Yeah, but he's Eric Clapton, but I'm a guitar player, so I have him in a certain place. I tend to play more like him than I want to, but whatever. So he's back there.

Starting point is 00:48:52 James Taylor, would you, James Taylor is somebody that would be impressed by him? I interviewed him. He's a lot darker than you think. Is it, yeah. What does fire and rain mean? Dude, full on depressive junkie for years. Couldn't get out from under it, dude.

Starting point is 00:49:08 Couldn't get out from under it. Isn't that Clapton's story too? Yeah, but like Clapton- He was a dark, dark guy. Yeah, I guess, but why does he play? Just, he's kind of a hack. I love this. Clapton is a hack, I love that.

Starting point is 00:49:18 A blues hack, yeah, a bit. I mean, he had pretty good phrasing, but I think that his best work, oddly, was with like John Mayall and the Bluesbreakers, the first band he phrasing, but I think that his best work, oddly, was with like John Mayall and the Bluesbreakers, the first band he was in, when he first realized, like, if I just crank this, I can still play these old dumb blues licks

Starting point is 00:49:34 and sound like a genius. So, wow. What? I love you. He'll cop to that. Joe Bonamassa. Bonamassa is a savant, but I don't know who he is, do you? No.

Starting point is 00:49:44 But that's kind of why I like him. That's why I don't like him. You think he keeps himself hidden in an order for us to not find out? I just think he's a sort of like naturally gifted guitar player. Yeah. Who can play the fuck out of anything.

Starting point is 00:50:00 And he's a good mimic. And he's like, you know, he can play like anybody. Yeah. But like, I don't, if you can fake feeling, who do I believe? You know, you gotta figure like, Freddie King can only play Freddie King. And when Freddie King plays Freddie King, you're like, holy fuck, this guy's really in it.

Starting point is 00:50:20 So Bonamassa can play exactly like Freddie King. I'm like, yeah, but you're not Freddie King. It sounds right. But the feeling's not there. Right. Makes sense? Yeah, who's your god then? Who's the guitar god?

Starting point is 00:50:34 Well, that's a good question. Or who are the gods, plural then? Who are the three gods? If there's a little Mount Rushmore, a little whatever. Who, three or four gods. In terms of guitar playing? Yeah. Hendrix? Look, you gods. In terms of guitar playing? Yeah. Hendrix?

Starting point is 00:50:45 Look, you know, in terms of blues, you know, I'll go with those old guys. You know, I like Freddie and I like Albert and I like, who else do I listen to? First names? Give me the last name too, man. But I like Helen Wolf. I like his guitarist, Hubert Sumlin.

Starting point is 00:51:01 I like, what? He's just deep to cut, like, I'm sorry. Any of these sorry these fucking Albert Hooms Albert King. Oh, Albert King was Stevie Ray's guy You know Albert King. He was Stevie Ray's guy. You do. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and Freddie King like it was pretty pretty great He's Clapton's guy, but I like it. I like dirty shit. I like hound dog Taylor Oh, wow that I mean, I like dirty fucking blues I'm a big Keith Richards guy, and he's not really a lead player, but I love him. I like Hendrix a lot.

Starting point is 00:51:30 I mean, you can listen to Hendrix. That stuff's crazy. It still sticks. But he's doing Buddy. It's so funny, I saw Buddy Guy, you know? Because Hendrix got a lot of Buddy Guy in him. And it was very funny when I saw Buddy Guy and Junior Wells when I was in college in Cambridge.

Starting point is 00:51:47 They were both shit faced, it was second show. And Buddy was like, you like Hendrix? I'll show you Hendrix. And he started doing these looks, I'm like, holy shit, those are your licks? But Hendrix was a genius. You don't like pop bands then? Like when Nirvana came about, did you like it?

Starting point is 00:52:03 That's pop. No, I like Nirvana, sure. Okay, okay. Oh yeah, I listened to popular music. Well, they became very popular. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, I listened to all the music, dude. I'm a big Iggy Pop fan, Big Stages fan.

Starting point is 00:52:14 Did you ever find yourself? I used to listen to, like I was listening to Skinner the other day. I grew up in New Mexico, dude. So I had to, all right, dude. But I knew a guy at a record store who was like one of these like weirdo art guys, Steve LaRue, and he turned me on

Starting point is 00:52:27 onto all the sort of art rock stuff and Bowie and then been on the radio, you were Skinnered and all that other shit. So I'm pretty well versed in all of it. What do I go back to the most? I think I, honestly, I listened to more Stones than I should. Stones more than anything. Well, I go back to the Martin ACDC,

Starting point is 00:52:43 huge Angus Young fan. He's definitely one of my guys. Okay. Angus Young on the lead guitar. And a fucking performer, no less. But you can't beat that guy. And his licks are just straight up blues licks, but man, he's one of the best.

Starting point is 00:52:56 Good performer. Fuck it. He's a great guitar player. Yeah. Great guitar player. Did you find yourself ever liking John Prine or no? Yeah, sure. You like that guy.

Starting point is 00:53:04 I like John Prine. I can see you liking him Oh, he's good. I interviewed him great guy because I feel like he's kind of your style of guy where He does however, he's clever. No. No, that's not what I would say. I would say no. He just doesn't give a fuck If it if it feels like it's supposed to be the right way if it's like I'll do it my way I know his way and It does it his way. And some of his songs are fucking great. Oh, there's- Angel from Montgomery.

Starting point is 00:53:29 All right, well, why don't you end your podcast? Sorry about that, Mark. Oh, let's get back to what we started with. Yeah, let's go with the original stuff. I don't know what- I get drifted from it. It's just like John Prine, this and that, feeling. I don't know about that.

Starting point is 00:53:42 Well, we're just chatting. I don't like it. Let's go back to it. Fuck you. But the thing with Joe, the thing with Joe, is I don't know that we have a lot to talk about because of my idea of what he's done to comedy. Sure.

Starting point is 00:53:58 And I don't think it's great. I think that it's tribalized, and I think that he's created a sort of army of people that think they know comedy, but they only know a specific thing, and what they think is good is not necessarily good. It may be what they're like, what they like, but on the outside of that, most of the sort of sensitive

Starting point is 00:54:17 weirdos that we all grew up with in comedy have been sort of pushed aside, and the space for them has become limited. It's a little- There was a time though that alt comedy was the- Not alt comedy. I'm not even talking about the alt people. I'm talking about just interesting standups. Weirdos. Yeah. Brent Weinbach has a great special. Sure. I think he's so weird. Joe Mandi. Yeah, Joe Mandi. And now it's like kind of this, there's this cultural idea of what comedy is.

Starting point is 00:54:47 Is there a world, and I understand what you're, I get your perspective. Is there a world where both these things exist and it doesn't fucking matter? So this is what I always say, like, I get that you don't like that world. That's part of why I love you, because you're like, fuck that and you'll shit on it. And that's what's great about comedy. But there's some good comics in there, and there is a lot of middle section. There's a lot, I believe that we all exist

Starting point is 00:55:09 in the same world. And it doesn't matter is my point. I get why you. It's not all on him. No, no. The culture has changed. Right. And I don't necessarily think for the better.

Starting point is 00:55:19 But it's changed in a lot of ways in that, look, there are comics that only drive clips and that only do crowd work, and they don't care if they do other people's jokes because the traction is with the clip. And what they don't realize, I think, and what a lot of people don't realize is that you're just, you're the internet's bitch.

Starting point is 00:55:39 You're the platform's bitch. So in the sense that if you're not able to fucking confidently do an hour without worrying about getting quips so you can get people come see you to do crowd work, what are you really? What is your voice? Who do you work for?

Starting point is 00:55:53 You'd like to think you're working for yourself, but you're just a platform bitch who doesn't really need to find who they are up there or do anything interesting at all. That's a problem. So, and the bigger problem about what you're saying, I think we all still do exist, but the nature of the comedy business is fragmented

Starting point is 00:56:09 and some of it's tribalized, but there used to be a lot more weirdos around who were kind of exciting and interesting and took it a different place. I would argue with just talky talk comedy, there's not that many people bringing it to a different place, dude. Right. Well, there is some good ones that bringing it to a different place, dude. Right.

Starting point is 00:56:25 Well, there is some good ones that like, I think that kid, KC Rockett's really entertaining and fun and different and unique. I think they're there, right? I think the problem is you were, there's so much sludge, there's so much shit, there's way more noise than we've ever fucking seen. So it's hard to appreciate or even care

Starting point is 00:56:41 because all that's really being shown is kind of the constant like give it to him, give it to him, give it to him, give it to him. So I get- I'm tired of the attitude. I thought you were going to say violence in this country. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

Starting point is 00:56:55 no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,, yeah. You know what I mean? And I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, dude. You moved out because you couldn't survive here. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:57:09 This is a different. It's an animal. It's an animal. Well, I think the weirdos you're referring to, by the way, were birthed, and I defend this to, I'm fucking blue in the face, were birthed at the Comedy Store. A lot of them.

Starting point is 00:57:18 I think the biggest mistake that's made whenever I go back East is, you know, the New York guys that I have very close friends out there, they make fun of the store and blah, blah, blah, blah for all the years. And I'm always like, dude, you'll never find a bigger group of fucking lunatic all over the mappers. When I started, when I moved here in 06,

Starting point is 00:57:36 it was wackadoo, central. The late nights were fucking insane. In fact, the front patio, you were like, is this illegal, whatever this is? Do these people live here? Yeah, this is crazy. And I think I always push, the front patio, you were like, is this illegal, whatever this is? Do these people live here? Yeah, this is crazy. And I think I always push, I was like, people don't know that about the store.

Starting point is 00:57:49 They think they hear this like corporate bro bro. And that happens internally in LA a lot too, where they're like, the store is a fucking, you know, whatever, sellout factory of fucking bro comics. Not anymore. No, but there was a wash of it that came through. Yeah, Joe, they moved to Austin. No, I think was a wash of it that came through. And I think- Yeah, Joe, they moved to Austin. No, I think, I think, I think even, I think even,

Starting point is 00:58:09 even up to a few years, even when I was starting out and the Largo guys or the East Side guys, if I go to East Side shows, they would make fun of me going back because I had a lot of good friends that were East Side guys. Yeah. And we started together. That's because they couldn't cut it,

Starting point is 00:58:21 couldn't cut it at the store. I know, but they still would hate on me for going, they'd go, they'd be like, why the fuck you going there, Santino? It's all fucking, and I hate it. Cause I was like, you don't cut it at the store. I know, but they still would hate on me for going, they'd be like, why the fuck you going there Santino? It's all fucking, and I hate it, because I was like, you don't get it, that place is diverse and insane and weird. But the bottom line is, you gotta do the job.

Starting point is 00:58:33 You gotta do the job. Eastside, you don't gotta do the job. You got a bunch of like-minded people that'll sort of watch you worm your way through a personal story that goes nowhere, and find love. The whole issue, whatever alternative comedy was, it didn't deliver the goods because it ain't around anymore.

Starting point is 00:58:52 And that weird argument, it wasn't that alternative comics were open micers. They were just trying to do something different. But if you're brought up with the working ethic of, like, you know, you open, you middle, you headline, and then you fucking do the job, That wasn't the same sense of purpose. So when you do the store, and the reason why I've never stopped doing it, and I was always a club comic from the beginning, but I-

Starting point is 00:59:15 Well, you're like Blade though. You live in both worlds. That's right. Well, I helped build the alternative world in New York, but then- But I'm just saying, there's some comics like you that do both. Sure. I wonder why, I mean, there's you, I think Zach lives in both, Gaffer and Ackers, Pat and Oswald lives in both, but some of them don't live in both.

Starting point is 00:59:31 Well, some of them don't live anywhere anymore. I'm not sure what they're doing. But they're back on that couch, baby. But the truth is, is that like in my mind, it's like you gotta be able to do the job for whoever. So like the idea, and sometimes at the store it's hard. It's not always easy at the store. No, there's tough, tough, tough.

Starting point is 00:59:47 And there's a lot of times where most of the room doesn't know who the fuck I am, but that's the job. Right. I mean, you know, I do have my people and I go do theaters and stuff. Of course. But you want to go put yourself through the, I still have that weird ethic. It's like, cause a lot of people are like, why would you go to the store anymore? I'm like, I don't know.

Starting point is 01:00:04 Cause I got to do the job. And it's a way to know whether shit really works. If you can make it work over there, it's gonna work anywhere. I think that's it. I think everyone that got successful at the store, that became a store person or store name, they have that like unrelenting,

Starting point is 01:00:21 I have to be a comedian, I have to do it. Yeah, there's no other choice. When wives and girlfriends and friends are like, what are you going to do? You're going to the fucking now? Yeah, that's why I don't have any of those things. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you want to transition to stick?

Starting point is 01:00:36 Real fast, yeah. Well, just because I can even tell you what it is. Go ahead. He was a very masterful golf player. I know. You do? I do, I know he's a good golf player. He's also a great bowler.

Starting point is 01:00:47 He's good at everything. Yeah, he's got all those white guys sports down. Right, right, right, he does, right? I have some of the black ones. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. No, no. And he's also, I don't know if you know this,

Starting point is 01:00:57 great actor. Okay, that's not, that part's not. I think you are. No, I think you are, yeah. I think, we've talked about this part. You're a great actor. Yeah, yeah, but anyway. He should have gotten something instead. Yeah, but it has nothing to do with you. I told them, I kept telling them. You've talked about this before. You're a great actor. Yeah, yeah, but anyway. He should have gotten something instead.

Starting point is 01:01:05 Yeah, but it has nothing to do with you. I told them, I kept telling them, where's Andrew? They kept saying, no thanks, no thanks, no thanks. I was mad. We saw the show, Stick. It's a great show. It's on Apple.

Starting point is 01:01:16 Of course, our good friend, Mark Maron is on it. You wouldn't have played my part though. No. No, no, no, no, no. You would have played Owen's part. That was a tough sell. I think it was attached early. Yeah, it was either me or Owen, basically. No. There was no, no, no, no, no. You would have played Owen's part. That was a tough sell. I think it was attached early. Yeah, it was either me or Owen, basically.

Starting point is 01:01:27 No. There was no other, the joke is there's no other parts. It's Owen and a young child in him. It's like a fucking, how was it? There's no one-liner? You could have easily done Timothy Olyphant's role. Yeah, fuck you, Timothy. And you could have, you could have done

Starting point is 01:01:41 the kid's dad's role, too. Who's that? What's his name? I forget the actor, he's great, but I mean, I'm just thinking like you could have done those.'s dad's role too. Who's that? What's his name? I forget the actor, he's great, but I mean, I'm just thinking like you could have done those. Thanks a lot, recommend. I'm the only fucking comedian that, me and Nate Barganski, the only comedian is that golf.

Starting point is 01:01:54 It's so funny, I sent Nate a picture of me and, no, I don't even know the guy's name. This is gonna piss me the fuck off, I bet. Yeah. Be a guy that I like. Well, I'm sure you like him. The fact that I can't remember his name is not great, but hold on, let me see if I can find it. Holy shit, I didn't know him and I bet. He'd be a guy that I like. Well, I'm sure you like him. The fact that I can't remember his name is not great, but hold on, let me see if I can find it.

Starting point is 01:02:07 Holy shit, I didn't know him and I talked. So, Happy Gilmore 2, you should have gotten a real golf part in that too. Yeah, why didn't you get a role in that? Not gonna say anything bad right now if Sandro's listening, okay? Thank you, Adam. Thank you for everything. Thank you for everything.

Starting point is 01:02:17 Thank you for everything, Adam. As if Adam would ever fucking hear this. You think he was listening? No. You know what's so funny? He's got his finger on the pulse. He's pretty, he's not listening to our show. He's pretty good though, Adam knows.

Starting point is 01:02:27 He's so good. Adam knows. He's smart. I'll be honest with you, I thought that last special that Josh Safdie directed was one of the best things I've ever seen. Yeah, fact. It was like, and nobody watched it, and it was so weird,

Starting point is 01:02:40 and it was so clear that he had an agreement with Adam to be like, I'm gonna do some shit during the show. He's just gonna react to it. Well, the special before that got a lot of love because it was more, oh, that's Kalamorokawa. Yeah, so I sent that picture to Nate and Nate says, this is my happiest day. I never in a million years thought I would see this picture.

Starting point is 01:03:00 You with Kalamorokawa is so funny. And Kalamorokawa, of course, is? A human. Asian, yeah, Asian. He's like you, bud. Damn it, I got it right. Just like you, big guy. It's like if you got a photo with Thierry Henry

Starting point is 01:03:11 or something. It would change your life. It would piss me off. Yeah. God, I hope I do one day. He's one of the greatest French soccer players of all time. Yeah, I'm not a sports guy in any way.

Starting point is 01:03:21 I'm just saying if you had. I know that. Well, golf's not a sport, it's an activity. But I mean, I'm athletic, but I don't do. Yeah, I'm not a sports guy in any way. I'm just saying if you had. I know that. Well golf's not a sport, it's an activity. But I mean, I'm athletic, but I don't do. Yeah, we get it. Okay. He has been working out a lot more than usual. I know, look at his legs.

Starting point is 01:03:33 I thought we were cutting down on the zins though. We're not. No. No. No. The no is no, we're not. And we're not gonna even. Now I'm starting to see them all around my yard

Starting point is 01:03:43 because I don't even spit them in the right place I'm just like Now, you know, you got a problem where you're like, is that a zin? Why did it under my pillow? My buddy told me why did it end your podcast time out? Hold on finishes. Yeah stick sink. Yeah, we're gonna get there The interesting thing interviewer. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, i'll be honest with you about the the stick casting for me. Yeah Is that like okay? So I get offered that role of Mitz. Mm-hmm. And it's the role of the caddy. So I immediately said, like, I read some of the scripts,

Starting point is 01:04:12 I'm like, I don't know anything about golf. And they were, I was basically saying, no, I can't do it, I don't wanna do it. And they're like, doesn't matter. And I'm like, okay, but you know, I have a podcast, I can't do it. And they're like, no, we'll figure it out. And I'm like, okay.

Starting point is 01:04:24 And I kept telling them I can't do it. And they're like, no, we'll figure it out. And I'm like, okay. And I kept telling them I couldn't do it. But ultimately what became appealing was a couple of things, that if I wanna act, I should do it. You know what I mean? Because the business is so anemic now. If you get an offer and you say no, you're like, all right, well,

Starting point is 01:04:40 then you shouldn't do anything. Right, because this is it. Yeah, it's one of them. Yeah. But the thing that was appealing to me was outside of the, I don't. Right, because this is it. Yeah, it's one of them. Yeah. But the thing that was appealing to me was outside of the, I don't really need to play golf in it. No.

Starting point is 01:04:50 But the friendship between two guys who are sad for very deep reasons and have stuck by each other for this long through thick and thin and through these emotional cycles, well, that was kind of compelling to me to be able to play that. And I thought I could play that. And the nature of a caddy is fundamentally codependent.

Starting point is 01:05:09 I mean, you're there to service the dude. So that dynamic with Owen, I thought was really interesting and could be kind of touching. And that was really what drove me to it. And I learned enough about golf to sell it, but it wasn't on me to carry the golf of that show. Pun intended, carry as a cat. Yeah, you didn't have to carry the golf of the show,

Starting point is 01:05:31 but it didn't matter because honestly, like anything else. He got a straight offer, bro. What's that? Straight offer. Can I finish the thing with him and I so we can have a good, you know what I mean? A good rapport out of it. In the middle of the thing.

Starting point is 01:05:42 Am I a bad interviewer to the guys in the booth? No, you're the best. Anyway. It's a conversation, Bobby. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, ask away, whatever else. No, go ahead. No, no, we were gonna tie it up.

Starting point is 01:05:55 Tie it up, dude, put a button in it. Yeah. Put a button, see a button in it. You see how good he is at the thing? On it. Yeah. Fuck, dude. It's good. I think this whole comedy team thing works for you guys.

Starting point is 01:06:04 And it really does. It does, yeah. We're not, we. Yeah, it's good. It's good. I think this whole comedy team thing works for you guys. And it really does. It does, yeah. We're not, we don't, we're our own little ships and nobody wants to be on this boat, by the way. Like when people say like, you know, those worlds have been kind of, I don't want to say, like corporatized or whatever, eaten alive by other bigger things.

Starting point is 01:06:22 Yeah. And Bobby sometimes will say, how come nobody wants to buy our show? And I'll say, buddy, we're not really sellable. We're not really like- No, but thank God, because now you just run your own ship and cash your own checks.

Starting point is 01:06:34 Whenever someone says, this is kind of funny, we don't ever have politics on the show. We never do it because we just are like, that's not for us, go over there. I don't like it on this show. And we had a few offers of like people politicians wanted to come on the show. None of the big ones. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:06:50 But anyway- I only did a sitting president. Yeah. I know. We remember. But it was unfortunate because it was the- What? It was the- The black one? It was the black one. Yeah. You said it, not me. You were the one that- Take it away, Mark.

Starting point is 01:07:02 He was great. No, he was fucking amazing. He was one of the best interviews of all time. No, but I said, I said we shouldn't have politicians on. You know, he obviously agreed. He's like, yeah, I don't want that shit on here. And then I also thought, had they seen this show? This is not. But that's the thing, they don't give a fuck.

Starting point is 01:07:15 All they want is your audience. That's right. They don't give a fuck. Because politicians will talk right through you. They don't give a shit. They're gonna say what they wanna say no matter what. And they're gonna, you know, and you can say whatever you want and they'll be like, yes, but I'm going to say this now. Right. I're gonna say what they wanna say no matter what. And you can say whatever you want

Starting point is 01:07:25 and they'll be like, yes, but I'm going to say this now. Right, I'm gonna say what I wanna say. And also, why'd you quit your podcast? That's Bobby's question. I know, but Bobby, go ahead and ask it. Well, because- I texted you, did nine, what did I say? It was very nice.

Starting point is 01:07:40 Yeah, you said congratulations. I said thank you, Podfather, and congratulations, and good luck in the future. Did I say anything? No, you fucking did said, thank you, Podfather. Yeah. Congratulations. Yeah, wow. And good luck in the future. Yeah. Did I say anything? I don't know. No, you fucking did. Of course you didn't text. No, you were like, why?

Starting point is 01:07:49 Yeah, that's all, yeah, yeah. I'll tell you why I was mystified by it. Is that the right word? Sure, that works. Yeah, I love when he tries. God, you guys- It did work, but I love it. If it were the 40s, you guys would be the best team because you'd be like, what, Bobby?

Starting point is 01:08:05 Be like, I don't know. All right. Don't you think we're a good throwback to old comedy teams? That wasn't even an Asian thing. No. That was just a tone. Sounded like Asian.

Starting point is 01:08:13 No, it was just, I don't know. Yeah, yeah, I've heard villagers say that. We are like a good comedy duo from the old days. Totally. Of like the old stupid, wackadoos. You're the straight guy and he's the wacky guy. Right. Yeah, classic. You're the straight guy and he's the wacky guy. Right. Yeah, classic.

Starting point is 01:08:27 You're like Marty Allen. Go ahead, wacky guy. Hello there. That's Marty Allen. Hello there. See, that was racist. Do you see what he did? Yeah, I see what this is now.

Starting point is 01:08:36 Yeah. No, no, that's a team up. It's an old school team up. It's a team-em-up. Go ahead, Bobby, let's be serious. So let's be serious for a second. Cause you've had, I think, the best guests, I mean, you can imagine.

Starting point is 01:08:48 Thank you. You've had Leo, right? Brad Pitt, Barack Obama. Yep. In that order, by the way. It goes Leo, Brad Pitt, Barack Obama. One of the best moments of the podcast, we had Barack Obama on and then President Obama. And then me and my producer did a sort of post talk

Starting point is 01:09:06 about what it was like to have the president on. And people were like, who are you gonna put on after that? And we were like, I think Rich Voss. Wow, wow, wow. Rich Voss, very funny, little drop though. The best. A little drop from the president of the United States? Voss is so funny, I've known him forever.

Starting point is 01:09:23 He's so funny. So funny. I knew him when I was He's so funny. He's so funny. I knew him when I was starting out in Boston. He used to come up from New York. And back then, he had this jerry-curl Italian ponytail. It was a little Italian horn necklace. But he was always something. But it was so funny.

Starting point is 01:09:38 I had a great interaction with him. Because he knows Norton. And I'm friends with Norton. And I haven't talked to Norton in a while. And I saw Voss at the Comedy Store And I'm like how's Jimmy doing is Jimmy doing all right how to hurt him and he goes Jimmy's great He's got a beautiful wife with a huge cock All true all true yeah, why'd you make the decision your hair looks good, buddy

Starting point is 01:10:03 Stop with this it does. I'm not you know what guy oh this. It does. You know what guy? Oh boy. Oh boy. You're misreading me again. No I'm not misreading you. You always think that I'm like you know condescending or I'm busting your balls. Oh it's because of the history we once had. At one point you didn't like me. No that's not true that was all in your head. Okay. At one point he doesn't like everybody. That's not true. But then he learns to like you a little. I'm just guarded. It's not not that. You've never had a point where you didn't like him or you doesn't like everybody. That's not true. But then he learns to like you a little bit. I'm just guarded. It's not that I don't like. You've never had a point where you didn't like him

Starting point is 01:10:28 or you didn't like me? I never didn't like you. I didn't know you. There we go. That's how he does it. That's how he does it. That's how he does it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 01:10:37 All right, good. I didn't know you either. I just treated you like shit. And here's the problem. I would argue that I didn't treat you like shit. I may have come off as, a lot of people think arrogant, but it's not. I'm just guarded.

Starting point is 01:10:47 If everybody thinks it, may it be true? But you know me now. I do. I do. I love you. I'm a pretty softy guy. Great, great guy. Once you get the key to me.

Starting point is 01:10:58 But here's the problem, Marc. Yes, that is to be true. The problem is losers like us, we. Yeah. We fucking loved you through it because we were like, I still really like him and I really want him to like it, but I don't think he likes me. And we did that and we all did that. Although I was so, did I tell you about Oklahoma city? No. I'm shooting the green day movie in Oklahoma city. Yeah. I'm at the hotel of the day off and I'm coming out of my hotel room and from afar I see the back of his head, but I thought there's no way that's gonna happen.

Starting point is 01:11:28 He turns around, and it was the most exciting. I kind of speed ran towards you. It was unbelievable. He was doing a show there. I was stuck in a hotel. It was a great meeting. It was great. But he had the other times when he didn't look at you

Starting point is 01:11:44 in the hallway and he asked you away. Oh yeah, yeah. You remember those days? Yeah, yeah. Well, I think that you didn't like my style of comedy. I'm very needy on stage. I use little tricks.

Starting point is 01:11:54 I am too. I use- Who isn't needy on stage? Yeah, I use tricks on stage that you wouldn't, you know what I mean, do. Let's be honest. What are some of the tricks? Right?

Starting point is 01:12:03 Just like, you know what I mean? What's not a Mark Marrow trick that you do? Well, I kiss people on the lips. You do. Different things, like, you know. Pume shot. Pume shot. Yeah, show the belly.

Starting point is 01:12:10 Show the belly, the little tricks that you know. But I want you to know that once you guys, anybody, any comic, once you figure out the trick of me and you figure out how to bust my balls, it's over. Yeah, it is. I don't believe that. I believe you softened. No, no, no.

Starting point is 01:12:26 No, yes, yes, yes. No, he's saying there's, look, dude, he's saying- He softened. He's saying there's a fucking code and you gotta get to the, once you get the, you know what it is in video game? Like once you found out where that extra thing was in Mario and you're like,

Starting point is 01:12:37 I know how to get that fucking thing. Oh, right, right, right, right. But it looked threatening and hard, but once you get the thing, you're like, no, you jump on the mushroom, you get to the thing, then you can, then you get it. That's what it really is. That's Mark's thing.

Starting point is 01:12:49 Doesn't that make sense? Yeah, it does. And you gotta get there. Also, when I knew you, it was like, I knew you when WTF was new, even before when you were married to me, right? Weird. What are you fucking doing?

Starting point is 01:13:07 I think it was a secret or something. I'm through it. You're through it, yeah, yeah, he's through it. Yeah, yeah. Jesus. Yeah, which I have feelings about, but I knew when you weren't as successful. And you know, the reason why you started WTF

Starting point is 01:13:20 is because you were in a good place. Bad place. Very bad place. And you were a little angry and sad. Yeah. Right? And so I think that once you got through the divorce. You're right.

Starting point is 01:13:32 And, oh. Right. And then, you know, WTF started taking off. Then you were getting TV spots and you were, all the things that you deserved you got. Yeah. Okay. And then you softened.

Starting point is 01:13:44 Well, I softened with age and I softened with a lot of stuff. But also the primary intention of WTF at the beginning was to sort of settle these scores of people that either I did have problems with or people who had problems with me. And most of the time when I thought I had caused some trouble for somebody or they didn't like me, they didn't even know what I was talking about.

Starting point is 01:14:06 And I'd be, you know, I'd bring up these events and be like, oh yeah, okay, I guess. And it was like, I had decided somehow that I was an outsider of the community. You're not. No, I'm not, but I'm crazy. Okay.

Starting point is 01:14:21 So that's true. You're a leader. Well. Yeah, you are. You're a leader in the community. You're one of the forefathers. But you're also crazy. Okay. So that's true. You're a leader. Wow. Yeah, you are. You're a leader in the community. You're one of the forefathers. But you're also crazy. You're crazy.

Starting point is 01:14:29 So this lines up. Yeah, yeah. A little bit paranoid. All right, so say it. So say it. What? What, what, why? Why did I stop?

Starting point is 01:14:36 Just why? Why are you done? Why? Oh, oh. Well, the truth is, like, we've been doing it 16 years. And when we set out to do it, it was not, there was was no money to be made it was really just an act of trying to create something you know honest and interesting and it evolved over time and my producer and I were audio guys and he's a very specific type of producer he

Starting point is 01:14:59 spends a lot of time with these interviews he crafts them and they and over time it developed a very personal style and it was sort of the arc of my life and my engagement with these people, but it was ultimately a lot about me. And the thing about the show is that we've worked very hard at it. We never wanted to do video,

Starting point is 01:15:22 it was never part of our thing. We're not content generators. We don't put things into the world to make money, really. And the fact was is three years ago we got that deal with the platform and it was something we deserved and it was not a huge deal, but it was a good one. It was a good one.

Starting point is 01:15:38 And we got in under the wire on that and right before we took the platform deal, we were like, you know, we don't have to keep doing this. We've done an amazing thing. We we've helped sort of create a foundation for this medium. We've created a style of doing it that a lot of people copped and, you know, we we're still operating at, uh, the quality has never shifted.

Starting point is 01:16:01 The audience has never gone away, but it really becomes a question of like, how long do we need to do this? And the arc of the deal with the platform is three years and it's coming up on that. And we made our money in a way. But it becomes the, I think the landscape is different. We do what we do and people still do it, come to it, audio's a great thing. But after a certain point, it's like we've interviewed everybody. And my producers, like, we're a little exhausted,

Starting point is 01:16:34 it's consumed our entire lives. And we just thought like, in terms of our legacy, why not just let it be done? You know, why do you wanna end up like down the line to having people going like, oh, Maren's still doing it? Who the fuck needs that? Yeah. God, that's fucking wild.

Starting point is 01:16:51 By the way, he gets regarded as an interviewer in public and you and I are at the airport and people go, Bobby's mom! That's what we hear. Yeah. You know what I also get? The reason why I'm doing a special is because podcasters come see my show and then afterwards they go,

Starting point is 01:17:05 wow, we didn't think you could do standup. I know. They never knew you did it. Yeah, they never even knew I did it. And that's the most important thing in our life. Yes. When's yours coming out? I shoot it in January.

Starting point is 01:17:16 How long is it gonna be? You know a headline on the road, Mark. How many openers you've produced? You know a headline on the road, Mark. How many openers you bring? Two or three? No, no, no. Yeah, I do. Three or four. You have to understand something.

Starting point is 01:17:34 I think you're fucking hilarious. Okay. And you don't believe that. You're doing a special. Oh, he doesn't want the attention. I don't want the attention. You're doing a special. I shot a special New York.

Starting point is 01:17:44 Yes. And I think it's one of the best I've done. Wow. Where is it at? Where'd you shoot it? I shot it at the Bam Harvey. It's like, it's in Brooklyn. Okay.

Starting point is 01:17:52 I was going to do it at Town Hall again, but I didn't, I didn't, I don't love that space. And I said, there's, isn't there like an 800, 900 cedar anywhere in New York? You only did one show? No, I did two shows. Okay. But the theater is like this old theater from the early 1900s and they've maintained it but they didn't restore it. So it almost has sort of a half a ruin feeling.

Starting point is 01:18:10 And they had this back wall that looked like a fucking piece of modern art. And I'm like, that wall is the whole thing. We gotta make that part of it. And the production design on it, it's fucking genius. Wow. The guy like, the production design guys, he saw the space and he wanted to integrate it.

Starting point is 01:18:26 And I'm of the mind that you can't really make those things look that much different than anything else. No, leave him alone. But this guy was genius. He goes, I'm thinking Katsuki. And I'm like, I don't even know what the fuck that is. So I Google it and it's this ancient Japanese art of restoring ceramics with gold to in the cracks.

Starting point is 01:18:43 It's all and I'm like, all right, well, that sounds good. You just do that. So we just created this vibe that was amazing. I did a full fucking 73 minutes. I had it in my mind. 73. Well, they wanted an hour and like, I believe this is what we work for.

Starting point is 01:18:57 And that's why I love HBO is because they, they curate shit. Yeah. They're still producing good shit. Yeah. And I, and they are, they're like, you're going to do an hour. And I'm like, yeah, I'm going to do an hour. But then I was like, I think it should be 73. Because my last special was 73. So I got it in my head that that was, that's what I could do. 73.

Starting point is 01:19:18 And they were like, all right, fine, do it. And it's so fucked up. And I guess it's just a testament to how long I've been doing this. Like I had like an hour and 45 for the tour, and I knew a few weeks going into it that I had to get it down. And I just got the redundancies out, I found the callbacks, but I swear to God, both shows that I did that night,

Starting point is 01:19:36 73 minutes, like on the fucking dial. Wow. No cognizant of the time, you were just rolling. No. Wow. And I look at the clock and I'm closing at 73. I'm like, I know how to do this. 73 is phenomenal.

Starting point is 01:19:48 Yeah, it's good though. And I just want to tell you. It's gonna be on the HBO. HBO premiered August 1st. August 1st. August 1st. Go check it out. Yeah, please.

Starting point is 01:19:58 What's it called? Panicked. Literally perfect. It's perfect. And by the way, for the record, go see, watch Panicked right now on HBO. A great name is hard to find.

Starting point is 01:20:09 We're trying to find his name for his special. Yeah, we'll figure it out later. No, give him, come on. Could you call it Bobby? Yeah, that's good. With a lot of E's. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bobby.

Starting point is 01:20:20 It was gonna be called Trauma Llama. Yeah, that's pretty good. Trauma Llama's really good. AI generated that unfortunately. We asked what AI thought it would be. What's in the running though, really? I have no idea. Well no, we had a few.

Starting point is 01:20:34 The Slep King he likes, Trauma Llama, Chink in the Armor. Tiger Daddy. I think that one's very funny. I do think that one's very funny. AI came up with all these. Yeah, yeah. Anyway, watch Mark. What was the other one? Tiger Daddy.

Starting point is 01:20:48 Tiger Dad. Oh, that's pretty good. I think you should capitalize on the name of these shows. Yeah, you should. Yeah. Well, my nickname on Tiger with my other podcast is the slept king. Right.

Starting point is 01:21:00 The what king? The slept king. What is that, slept? Yeah, because I'm not woke. I'm the opposite. It's too complicated. See what I mean? Yeah, it's hard to find.

Starting point is 01:21:09 Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's hard to get the panicked, panicked on HBO. I see it, I get it. Okay. And I'm sure you named that yourself. I did, we had a few things in the running, but I kind of stuck with that one.

Starting point is 01:21:18 I'm like, let's just do this. What was the other one? Yeah. What was the other one? You don't have to clear it with HBO, right? They don't care. No, you got to. Oh, you do? Yeah, and I, yeah, you't have to clear it with HBO, right? They don't care. No, you do got to. Oh, you do?

Starting point is 01:21:25 Yeah, you definitely got to clear it with HBO. But we were going with one that I thought was too long and now I can't even remember. Equanimity and the Bird Theory or whatever? Exactly. Yeah, I was just... Yeah, no, I just was... But it's really hard to find those one word ones

Starting point is 01:21:38 and you kind of feel like you need to. There's so many of them done already. Right, or it's two words, but it's quick. It's gotta be pop-up. Yeah. Yeah, it's gotta be fast. Yeah, I can't remember the fucking other names. It's so crazy.

Starting point is 01:21:50 But when I got Panicked, I'm like, this is it. Panicked is perfect. Thank you. Panicked is perfect. Go see Panicked on HBO. All right, thanks. For those of our fans and friends. That's very nice.

Starting point is 01:21:58 We love you. We always say thank you for being a bad friend to the audience, and I want you to do it, because it'll be a nice sign-off for us. Thank you for being a bad friend. And audience and I want you to do it because it'll be a nice sign-off for us. Thank you for being a bad friend and no don't cut them off. Fuck you do more and I'll be honest with you these two guys are good friends and of mine and if I was in a pinch I know I I could call you the D. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. We love you Yeah! Woo-hoo! Yeah!

Bad Friends - Marc Maron Kills WTF

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