Bad Friends - Marc Maron Kills WTF
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Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hey!
Hey-o!
Oh, look at what goes on my feet.
Look at what goes on my hands and my body.
And look at what goes on our head.
And my head.
We got new merch, new socks and shirts.
It's been a long time since we made merch,
but we really love this drop.
That's why we did it.
We waited.
We think this design is so cool.
Baseball caps.
Baseball caps.
The t-shirts.
We have the thank you t-shirts.
And socks.
And we have socks.
Available right now at badfriendsmerch.com.
Hey!
Hey-o!
Oh, look at what goes on my feet.
Look at what goes on my hands and my body.
And look at what goes on our head.
And my head.
We got new merch, new socks and shirts.
It's been a long time since we've made merch,
but we really love this drop.
That's why we did it.
We waited, we think this design is so cool.
Baseball caps.
Baseball caps.
The t-shirts, we have the thank you t-shirts.
And socks.
And we have socks.
Available right now at bad friends merch.com
But I think you're moving too fast, you know the whole lyric, huh?
I have no I seen a rainbow yesterday and so many You know that song?
What?
I got you a gift to start the show.
Tum tum tum tum.
Bum bum bum bum bum bum bum.
Gift, gift.
Dun dun dun dun.
Dun dun dun dun.
I have no gift.
Dun dun dun dun dun dun.
Well, last time you told us about how much your new hobby has enthralled you.
And although we couldn't get you exactly what I thought we were supposed to get you, we got you something else.
Who did it?
What size are they?
Your size.
Nine?
Nine, baby.
They're nice.
You like these?
I love Europa.
These are the Europa Track Control.
These are the grippers.
Whose are there that they wore
and then they don't wanna wear anymore?
No, this was a 14 year old boy who lives in Burbank.
That's what we got them from.
No, really?
Yeah, but they're yours now, dog.
Thanks, bud.
And look at the rubbers worn out on the brakes.
Do they work though?
Do they work?
Well, they don't break unless like the wheels don't work,
but of course they work.
Strap up and rock out.
You wanna take a break
and roll around the parking lot for a minute?
11.99?
That's how much they were.
11.99.
What would you like them to be?
$300.
Three, why?
I want the high tech versions of this.
Those are the highest tech.
No, dude, I can go online right now and get a higher tech.
It's last year's model.
Is it really?
Yeah.
That kid was ripping.
Oh, I don't like it.
Come on, put them on.
Was it?
Put them on and rip around the neighborhood for one minute.
Please, it would really help me out.
Really?
Yeah, I'm having a tough day.
I need a good day.
All right.
Hell yeah.
You're being real?
Yes.
I wipe out, I swear to God.
You're not gonna wipe out.
Come on.
Where do we go?
Outside.
Turn around.
Turn around.
Jump something, jump something!
Dude, he's doing a move!
He's doing the E-Log!
Jump over the yellows!
Jump over the yellows! I don't think we have ice here.
I think you have to go get ice.
You okay, Bob?
Who has that clip of him falling?
That's all I heard, you laughing?
No, and that makes me realize
that we don't have the friendship that we have.
Not true, I ran, I said, are you okay?
Then I turned and saw-
Oh, you said okay, and then you cackle like a hyena. We have the friendship that we have. Not true. I ran, I said, are you okay? Then I turned and saw.
Oh, you said okay.
And then you cackle like a hyena.
We have the footage.
If you want to rewind it, we can actually watch what happened.
Is you fell.
I go, oh my God, is he okay?
And then I turned my head while we're coming over to you.
And those two Mexican guys are dying laughing.
And I mean, dying laughing.
Am I wrong?
Do you have audio on that?
See fucking my friend, my supposed friend cackling like a hyena.
Oh, you jump over. Do you have audio on that? See fucking my friend, my supposed friend cackling like a hyena?
Oh, you jump over!
You said jump over! No, he said it.
No, you said-
No, wait, wait! Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop!
That wasn't Mexican laughing!
You left as soon as the fall happened, you piece of shit, dude! There was no no real white it look to my right shit to my right
So it's an Irish Irish laughter what to my right?
You left it then you look you piece of shit dude!
That's not cool dude!
Are you okay?
I said are you okay?
In laughing!
Watch, listen to the rest.
Are you okay?
Honestly concerned.
Fuck, we said.
Hands on hips, nervous.
Carlos laugh, see?
See? It's all are you okay?
Look at the Mexicans!
Look at the Mexicans!
Look at the Mexican dudes laughing.
Look, look, he's right there.
Dude, I know, but dude.
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Dude, look at him laughing.
Look at these Mexican guys laughing.
I know, dude, but.
Trump, do your job, Trump.
And get these guys. They're cracking the fuck up!
No, wait!
Po-
Yes, he is.
Zoom in on that guy, right now. Freeze.
Zoom in on the other guy.
Can't.
Wh- Okay.
From what I see-
There's two of them.
He ain't laughing, dog.
Yes, he is. 100%. He's laughing.
Yes, he was. Everybody saw it.
Alright, go back to the fall, though.
Oh, my fucking God, dude.
Here, we have this...
Different angle.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah we have this. Different angle.
This is what?
Oh my god!
Oh my god!
Are you okay?
Are you okay? That's the first thing you hear.
Well I asked are you okay?
I'm the first one!
Are you okay in a laughing hyena style?
Laugh dude! Rewind the laughter!! Are you okay in a laughing hyena style? Laugh dude!
Rewind the laughter!
Three are you okays?
So many are you okays?
Shut the fuck up dude!
You're a piece of shit!
You're not a friend of mine.
See? Are you okay Bob? We're concerned.
Go right to that fall again.
Alright everybody don't laugh.
When the fall happens, do not laugh
If you smile, I will literally know put your shirt down any of you you guys smile. I'm
Dude I'm I'm gonna leave
laugh you're gonna get deep shit no more I'm not even fucking kidding yes Bob hold on play the video and if anybody in the fucking boost laughs you're fired
any enthusiasm or you can't cover your mouth fuck nothing show your face you cowards all right go oh my god. Oh my god
Carlos you're fired
See look and I'm concerned are you okay five are you okay? Why are you crying cuz I'm sad you got hurt
case. Why are you crying? Because I'm sad. You got hurt.
One more for the other angle. Okay, hold on. There's a third angle. Hold on. Play this out. Yeah.
Oh, my god. Fancy smiling. Yeah, I need
the Mexican dude. you break your wrist?
I think I did.
I'm sorry, dude.
Dude, you literally aren't a friend of mine.
It's so sad. It's so fucking sad.
Those guys are laughing and it made me laugh.
No, dude. You laughed at impact.
That's not true. We just watched it again.
I didn't crack a smile.
Watch the first one again. Watch the first one and I won't laugh. Okay. Watch. Listen to it. Make it
big. Right when I fall. Jump over the curb. Jump over one of the yellow ones. You're the
one. You're the fucking dick. Pause. Pause it. Jump over the curb. Start it over. Jump
over the yellow ones. McCone yells. It doesn't matter. You said it. Jump over the curb and
I go, yeah, jump over the curb. I repeat what you said. Yeah. That is true. Yeah. Yeah.
Jump inside the volcano. Yeah, jump inside the volcano. Yeah jump inside the volcano
It's not a cool thing. I thought it'd be cool if you jumped over the volcano you went in. Okay, go ahead
See he just said jump over the yellow one
Oh.
Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha.
Ha ha ha.
Ha ha ha.
Ha ha ha.
Fuck you.
Stop it, sit down.
Please sit.
Let's move forward.
That's insane.
Look, we all learned a lesson.
No more gifts.
This was retaliation, if I'm being honest,
from how much my heart hurt
when I bought you those Arsenal shoes
and you didn't like them.
That's kind of what this was.
Oh really?
And I knew that you'd fall on these
and I bought them knowing you'd fall.
Yeah, one Christmas I bought probably
four or $5,000 worth of gifts to you.
And yours is worth what, three, $400?
We can get into a little bit.
I've given you more gifts consistently
than you've ever given me.
And I do it in chunks, in big chunks. You do it once you did one time. Yeah. Oh my god
I'm sorry that you feel bad. You need to put ice on your hand again. Yeah, you just ice it
Oh my god, it was terrible, dude
Anyway, that's not what it's like when you go to the roller rink. No, it's way more smooth. You don't go. It's not bumpy
it's well chiseled chiseled
Concrete is not the move. I was doing some moves out there even too.
It looked good.
Yeah, I was slicing it out and everything too.
And then the middle part of the thing I can handle.
But when it got bumpy and when I heard the little weasel go,
jump out of the curve, jump over that red yellow thing, bud.
That was him.
Yeah. Jump over the yellow thing, buddy.
Yeah, he was instigating.
You weren't even attempting to jump, you just fell he was instigating yeah I'm not a
fucking professional roller blitter dude not anymore so I think even me saying
that is ultimately irrelevant because you didn't even you didn't hurt yourself
jumping over the yellow thing you just couldn't even get over the middle of Oh my God. We're done, we're done. No, no, no, please. Hey, you're gonna hang.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
I'm gonna be this close,
I'll make it through the fucking pipe and then.
Okay.
You're fucking at it.
You know, I gotta tell you something.
Can I tell you something why I love you so much?
Shut up.
I was having a real, real bad day.
Fuck off.
Okay, do you want me to level with you for real?
My dad had a heart attack last night. Jesus. And he's in the hospital. So I was having a real, real bad day. Fuck off. Okay, do you want me to level with you for real? My dad had a heart attack last night.
Jesus.
And he's in the hospital.
So I was having a crazy day.
Which one?
What do you mean which one?
Stepdad or real dad?
My real father.
Okay.
What is that?
And you laugh now?
The one that abandoned you?
And see, you laugh?
Yeah, yeah.
The reason that you laugh.
Say it again. The reason you laugh. Say it again. Is? Yeah, yeah. The reason that you laugh. Say it again.
The reason you laugh.
Say it again.
Is why I laugh when you fall on rollerblades.
Say it again.
My father had a heart attack last night.
Hey, you think it's funny?
See?
Now are we even now?
Now we're even.
Oh, is he okay?
He is okay.
Yeah, really think he'll be okay though.
We'll find out.
All right, sorry.
No, it's okay.
But that's why I laugh at you when you fall.
Because you're actually a bad person.
No, you're a terrible human being.
Like you're genuinely a bad guy.
You're a terrible human being.
Well, you'll be hearing from somebody.
A whom?
Your assistant can't even answer your text.
What are you gonna go get a fucking lawyer?
So Andrew, Texas is my assistant on Monday.
She doesn't reply until Friday.
That's right, one week.
He has a shit, right? I go, hey,'s right, one week. She has a shit, right?
I go, hey, what's Bobby's schedule?
She has a shit, he has a shit storm,
you know what I mean?
In rage, right?
To whom?
About my assistant.
I didn't say anything bad to her,
I just go, don't worry about it.
No, you said great assistant.
Till when I called you. Five days.
Yeah, five days.
Right?
And I called my- Five days?
Yeah, yeah, I called my assistant, I go, great job.
Continue the work, my friend.
And then she texted me and was like,
I'm so sorry, I'll never do this again.
She went camping.
Yeah, and I-
She can't go camping?
Brother, she's been camping.
Oh, is it another fucking weight joke?
What?
I don't even know what she looks like.
I've never seen her in my life.
You body shaming-
You know what's interesting? I've never seen what she looks like and hear Bobby saying how he feels.
So you're projecting.
No.
Oh, interesting.
Really?
I've never met this human in my life. I don't even know who it is.
It's an apparition. As far as I'm concerned-
You've never met Melanie, my assistant.
When would I have ever met fucking Melanie?
Well then take that out.
Oh, fuck you.
No, that at least stays in.
You feel that way.
Yeah, you do. You body shame people. Never seen her in my life. Don, fuck you. No, that stays in. You get out. You feel that way. Yeah, you do.
You body shame people.
Never seen her in my life.
Don't even know.
By the way, as far as I'm concerned,
she's chat TPT.
I don't even know if she's fucking real.
I've never even known this human to be real.
Also fat people don't know she's camping.
Bam.
Oh my God, bam, dude.
This guy's shooting the fat gun.
Dude, put away your fat bam, dude. This guy's shooting the fact gun. Dude, put away your fact gun, dude.
You asked me for restaurant recommendations.
Oh my God.
Did I send you to a good spot?
We can't go from negative to positive that quick.
That's the best part of the show.
No, no, no, no, no, no, I don't like it.
The part of the show is- I can't change my mood
that quickly. You fault, you make fun of my dad
that has a heart attack. No, no, no.
I fault you capital like a little child at a playground.
Are you okay?
Were you okay?
Are you okay from the fall?
Is your daddy gonna die?
Maybe.
Maybe.
Huge difference between the two.
You fall in the parking lot.
He abandoned you.
Yeah, and you fell, you little fat jelly roll.
Yeah, I got, now, how is it that he's more mad than me?
No, no, I'm not mad.
If you shoot at me, I'm going to shoot back.
You should have me first!
How?
You were giggling when I was falling!
It's hilarious.
It's hilarious!
When a short little fat guy falls on rollerblades.
Let's watch it again to see if it's funny.
Huh?
You wanna watch it again to see if it's funny?
No!
Do you see what I mean, dude?
Dude, it's funny!
Alright!
It's fucking- this is inherently funny!
Yeah, yeah.
That's good, that's good.
Oh no!
Oh no!
Oh no! I fall, I fall, I fall on the ground.
I go for the yellow thing, I fall on the ground. I go for the yellow thing. I fall on the ground
Laugh into the mic so we know you're laughing will you cut it out having a blast
In a beautiful sunny day no less yeah in front of my two favorite Mexicans
Embarrassing all right jump to something fun Imagine if they were like a group of like hot chicks. I mean, come on.
That would have been so sad for me.
No, no, see, I disagree.
Hot chicks would have found it endearing
that we were having fun with it.
And they would have been like,
are you okay, are you okay?
No, they'd be like, are you okay?
No, it's not high school.
That's right.
That's high school.
Are you okay?
What?
They would have got the ick.
They would have got the ick, for sure. If they were the ick. They would have got the ick, for sure.
If they were, if they were-
A guy with no balance?
People want balance.
How about this?
What do they look for?
A job, you know what I mean?
Security, balance.
Look up traits that women love in men.
Balance is not on there.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, balance is on there, dude.
No, it's not.
Yeah.
Traits that women love in men, ready?
Confidence, kindness, intelligence, balance.
Oh my God, it is, it's the fourth one.
Yeah, yeah. Sense of humor. Sense of humor. See, you fell, we laughed. I know, but not that, it would intelligence, balance. Oh my God, it is, it's the fourth one. Yeah, yeah, sense of humor.
Sense of humor.
See, you fell, we laughed.
I know, but not that, it would give,
right, Carlos back me up, but ick.
Yeah, it's totally ick.
If they're, okay. A producer, ick.
Not get a job.
How about this?
Ick, if they're, ick.
You know what I mean?
He's not gonna be in fucking Commando 2.
You know what I mean?
He's gotta run across the field with a fucking M16.
You know what the producer,
you know what the producer's a karate ghost? They'd be like, we gotta put this guy in the movie again. Look, you mid, midair, you fucking M16. You know what the producers, you know what the producers of Karate Ghost,
they'd be like, we gotta put this guy in the movie again.
Look, you mid, mid air, you did a kick.
You did a karate.
I didn't kick, dude.
My leg, both my legs kicked out.
Do women find it important for men to have balance?
Do women find it important for men to have balance?
You're gonna find out. Oh, fuck.
There's a rock in there.
Oh, there's a piece of skin.
Yeah, you want some? No, thank you.
Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna put it on your body.
All right, and I'll punch you. Why? I don't want your skin. Yeah, put my some? No, thank you. Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna put it on your body. All right, and I'll punch you.
Why?
I don't want your skin.
Yeah, put my skin on your body then.
I don't want it.
That's blood brother.
Look, generally women find it important
for men to have a healthy work-life balance, and you do.
Work and life out there.
Work and life out there.
Oh my God.
You have a band-aid or no?
I doubt this place has a band-aid.
I don't even know if we,
we don't have like proper anything here.
Okay.
You know, someone else said that who walked in the studio
and goes, this is how you guys operate.
Yeah.
This place is a joke.
Everybody.
It's a joke.
Yeah.
People go, oh, congratulations.
You know, you got a great podcast.
And I'm like, we work in a dump.
We work in a dump.
In an alleyway.
But don't you like it?
Isn't this good?
It's the way it is.
I would rather this than the other thing? It's the way it is.
I would rather this than the other thing.
It's like Sesame Street.
Like we went down Sesame Street, right?
And then there was like a door there.
What's up?
He's got paper towels.
Please.
Do you want some, get him some Purell.
Purell is alcohol.
It's gonna hurt.
Oh my God.
But you got to, you have to clean the cut.
Oh, you do it.
I'm gonna close my eyes. Fuck. Give it to me. Do you have a, when was the last time you got it. Oh my God. You have to clean the cut. Oh, you do it. I'm gonna close my eyes.
Fuck.
Give it to me.
Do you have a, have you,
when was the last time you got a tetanus shot?
I've never gotten one.
Oh shit.
Okay.
Ah!
Ah!
Ah, sorry, sorry, sorry.
Yeah, but you have to, you have to clean it.
Ah!
Ah, sorry.
Punch him.
Take it out on McCone. Take it out on McCone.
Take it out on McCone.
Anyway, let's go to positive.
Let's go to positive.
You called me up, you said I need a good breakfast
restaurant, I suggested it.
It was called Miracle Bakery.
Yep, in Burbank.
So I was with somebody I'm seeing
and we were in Burbank and we were shopping.
I bought a 2012 Godzilla statue. Shut up, how big? It it's like this big. Wait is it at your house now? Yeah, I also got a
Master blaster statue dude. Where did you go shopping? It's called um it's called blast from the past oh
In downtown yeah, I know exactly where yeah, yeah
They're gonna master blaster and then I got a transformer, old transfer and then I got a bunch of stickers
and whatnot.
What?
And then I got that.
Whoa.
And then we, and then my date was like,
she was like, I want something breakfast-y.
I go, I don't know any other thing around here.
Let's just get tacos.
I want breakfast-y.
Yeah, you gotta do what they want.
When they want breakfast-y, you gotta give it to them.
I called Andrew and he brought me to a place
that was really good.
And I'm gonna be honest.
Let me be honest.
When you ask me about a spot, don't I deliver?
Typically, I said-
That's the thing about you, that's why I call you.
I know, I love you.
Especially in the Burbank area
because you used to live in that area.
Love Burbank.
That I know that you know the spots there.
I think you know globally.
Like if I'm in like Indianapolis, I think you know. I got you. Yeah, you got me. Anywhere in the cities, I think you know the spots there. I think you know globally, like if I'm in like Indianapolis, I think you know.
I got you.
Yeah, you got me.
Anywhere in the cities, I think you know.
Yeah, the rules are gonna be hard for me.
Even places like Taipei, if you're in Taipei,
I can hook it up.
You can hook up Taipei, yeah.
So Miracle Bakery, phenomenal stuff.
Breakfast is great.
Go say hi.
Also, they treated me like a king.
Well, you are.
No, they were just nice to everybody.
They're great people.
Yeah, yeah.
They make phenomenal food and they cook it all there.
We disagreed with the donut.
What happened?
Well, this is not a really, you're a donut purist.
It's different.
Yeah, I disagreed with the donut.
Okay.
A donut, I mean.
But their specialty was all the other,
the breakfast items are their best.
Yeah.
What was wrong with the donut?
It was like a faux nut kind of a,
the consistency wasn't what I was looking for.
I know. It's probably a little healthier. Probably. That wasn't what I know. Look, it's probably a little
healthier. Probably. That's why it's not good. Well, look, healthy stuff that's supposed
to be unhealthy, but everything else was excellent. Oh, no. Whoa. It's vacation Marin. It's your
shorts. I've never worn slippers. What the slippers about blue chair, babe. Blue chair. What's your, welcome.
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Bad friends.
Simply say, you know, I have animals. You have a lot of animals. I have people living in my house.
Yeah, you're like Noah.
And sometimes, and I also live in the woods.
You do live in the woods.
Right, and I do.
And I, you know, we got simply say from.
We got simply say from them.
From them.
And we put it in Bobby's house.
And can I say something?
Yeah.
My sleeps have been so, you know why?
Because I know a slasher isn't going to walk in.
No one's going to be able to walk in.
Because I have security and security is what?
It's priceless.
It's exactly.
That's right.
And most security systems only take action after somebody breaks in.
Yeah.
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Kachava.
Okay.
So over the years I've taken protein powders, different types of things.
For years you've been doing that.
I've been protein powders, different type of things. For years you've been doing that. I've been doing it and Kachava is my favorite one
because I'll tell you why.
The flavor, the chocolate, the matcha one,
the one with vanilla in it.
There's one with chai, there's a chai one.
What you do is you just take two scoops,
put it into a, what do you call it, a container?
A little shaker.
A shaker.
Yeah, they give you a shaker.
Yeah, they gave you one.
You shake it about five or six times. Last. A shaker. Yeah, they give you a shaker. Shake it. Yeah, they give you one.
You shake it about five or six times.
Last night, I had hunger pains, as you know.
And I took two chocolate ones, right?
Shake shook it.
Hunger pains went away, right?
My body felt great, right?
I love Kachava.
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I mean, I just, I can't live without it. And I'm being real.
No, I know. You love it. And I'm being real.
No, I know you love it.
This last month, it's could have been
Kachava for Papa.
He's having every day.
That's Kachava, K-A-C-H-A-V-A.com code badfriends
to get 15% off.
Oh God.
Did you see the sign here, by the way, Mark?
Did you see what the kids did for you?
Oh, that's nice.
That's awesome. That's clever.
Do you have a volume for my cans?
Yeah, no, no, he'll tell you, he'll adjust it right there. Get some volumes, please. Oh, that's nice. That's awesome. That's clever. Do you have a volume for my cans? Yeah, no, no, he'll adjust it right there.
Get some volumes, please.
Yeah, I like to.
He's older, he might not hear well.
Well, that's funny.
That's a pretty good one.
How's the new material coming?
Oh, okay.
You go right to the throat?
That's fucking cruel.
And let me tell you something.
That's cruel to me ever.
And last night, I have to say,
Peter Shore came up to me and goes,
that's six minutes I've never even seen before.
I know. And they're strong.
He told me today, I just spent four hours with him.
Yeah. And did he say something about my act?
He said he did new material.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Then what's the slam about, guy?
I thought it would roll right off you
because it's not true.
No, but I should do more.
The outfit should be more.
Dude, Aaron.
He knows. He's clever.
He's so clever. He's so good
at what he does. He's shifty, dude.
He is. Boy with comics, you know, you want me to be open? I can be open. Yeah, Aaron, he's clever. He's so good at what he does. He's shifty, dude. He is.
Boy, with comics, you want me to be open?
I can be open.
Yeah, you can fly free on this show.
I feel that, I feel safe with you guys.
You should.
When I was driving over here,
I thought this is gonna be a supportive, safe room.
Yeah.
You can say whatever you want to us.
Say whatever you want.
No, I got nothing.
No.
Do you guys have a plan?
Yeah, the question-
We do.
We do.
We got a plan for the yam.
Yeah, yeah.
The question to me is why would you end,
I'm gonna say something before I even say that.
I wanna say that I feel like there's two people
that are the pioneers in terms of comedy
that inspired this generation to do it,
which is a generation below you.
Yeah, I get it.
It's you. Just one below get it. It's you.
Just one below me.
And Mario Batali.
For sure.
His podcast is so good.
I think we all, we probably all owe it to Tom Green.
Yeah, well you actually.
Oh yeah, I did tell him, yeah, yeah, right.
Tom was first.
With the video podcast.
With the video, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But yeah, who, me and who else?
Rogan.
Okay.
Who's that, who's that?
Joe Rogan.
Joey.
Joseph Rogan?
Yeah, he's out of Texas. Oh, he's Texas. Got it. I got it. Got it. You love awesome? Who's that? Joe Rogan. Joe, he's- Joseph Rogan? Yeah, he's out of Texas.
Oh, Texas.
Got it.
I got it.
Got it.
You love awesome, don't you?
He's running half the planet out of Texas.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's got a tight hold on the enlightened meathead.
Dude, Marin's disdain.
It's not disdain.
It's reasonable criticism.
Reasonable criticism.
Yeah.
When was the last time you spoke with him?
I don't know. That's a good question. I guess it would have been at the store. I never talked to him in Austin
I don't go into the club. I don't really think I'm on his radar. So I don't tells me you are. Oh, yeah
Yeah, something. Yeah, something tells me you are I I don't you know
It's weird that you get lumped into a certain thing and maybe it's my assumption that,
you know, his army of, you know, healthy fellas.
Um.
Is that their title?
Army of healthy fellas is so good.
No, you just gotta, you know, you gotta stay in,
keep the machine.
The machine's gotta be good.
Yeah.
That's a shot at Bert, go ahead.
What do you think the Austin Shelf Life is gonna be?
I don't know, I think that it's so effectively
tribalized at this point, it really comes down to material.
I mean, at what point, like at what point,
it's like whatever they represented in terms of policy,
and it's not a stretch, it's like they won.
Trans people are frightened,
they have no ability to get healthcare anymore
and they're afraid of being alive
and have no freedom left.
So that's done.
When do you stop with the jokes?
When you stop with the jokes.
Like immigrants, okay, well they're being ripped away
from their homes and yeah, and they're all terrified
and okay, so that's done.
When do you stop with the jokes?
Right.
I mean, it's one thing to pick on the vulnerable We're all terrified and okay, so that's done. When do you stop with the jokes? Right.
I mean, it's one thing to pick on the vulnerable and the marginalized, but I mean, they're
down.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I mean, like, why do you got to keep hitting them?
Unless you're a hack.
Now, there's a question.
Wow.
Mark, wow.
It comes in swinging.
Swinging.
No, so I don't know the last time I talked to Joe.
People for a while were like,
you know, why don't you go on Joe's show?
And my answer to that is like, why?
Why?
Why?
Well, it doesn't serve as you.
Well, no, I don't need him.
And also there's no way for me to,
like, what am I gonna talk to him about?
And there's no way for me to sort of not walk out of there there and be like, alright, I guess I'll look at my phone
Fuck how long is this gonna go on for you know, like right but it's like Martin Luther King and Malcolm X
Maybe meeting at once one point. I think let's go historical with it. Say it again Malcolm X and
Martin Luther King meeting they met at one point. Yeah. Well, that's right in the pioneers of the Civil Rights Movement Which one is Malcolm X and which one's Martin Luther King meeting. They met at one point. Yeah. Well, that's right. And pioneers of the civil rights movement.
Which one is Malcolm X and which one's Martin Luther King?
Martin Luther King.
I don't really think that's Martin Luther.
The analogy doesn't work.
No, no.
He's so bad analogies.
Let him keep going with this.
It's going to get funnier as it goes on.
OK, let me go with more analogies.
He's like, this is if Hitler's and Goebbels had to hang out
off the work site.
Why, one of those is right.
Yeah.
Yeah, I think you got half that analogy.
See, I'm gonna have to.
Why would you just once support me, you know what I mean, with an analogy?
Shut up.
But that was just wrong.
It brought race into it in a very profound way.
Yeah.
And I would.
Mine was angled and funny and distant.
It went somewhere else.
Yeah, I think on one side of that,
there's a guy that's aggressively fighting
for the civil rights of victimized white people.
God knows they've had it hard enough long enough time.
But has Joe asked you?
No.
Oh.
Here's a better angle.
Adam used to go like, hey, what?
And I'm like, no, why?
Well, because it's interesting being someone like us
on the outside of it and watching you guys.
Oh, you got one foot in, baby.
Well, yeah, it's right up your ass.
Yeah, that's the other foot.
I think what it is for me is
I would love to see you guys chat,
but I'd love to see you guys chat
in neither of your arenas.
It would be the only way it'd be legit.
Because if you have to go to his show,
not gonna work. Very good.
He has to go to your house, not gonna work.
You guys would have to do this thing. It's like setting up a mob meeting here. Right. Not gonna work. Very good. He has to go to your house. Not gonna work.
You guys would have to do this thing.
It's like setting up a mob meeting.
Here.
Yeah.
No, seriously though.
They should do it here.
Moderated mob.
You should do it here at Bad Friends.
They should do it here.
It would piss both of them off so fucking much.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Look at the art behind them.
I know.
It would just be of us behind them.
This would be good neutral ground.
But you do have to understand something.
I have known Joe since he started.
Yeah. I mean, literally since he started. Yeah.
I mean, literally since he first set foot on stage.
In Boston. I was there.
In Boston. Yeah.
And I remember my initial issues
where there was another guy, Kevin Flynn,
who was out of the game, and he was like a soccer jock.
And at that time, Joe was like a regional kickboxing champion.
And my initial reaction was like,
what are these guys doing here?
This isn't for them.
All right.
It's like Louis once said to me years ago
when J. Moore started in New York when he was like 17,
he's like, it's not for them.
It's not for the good-looking guys.
It's not for the jocks.
This is for us rejects, us guys who don't fit in.
That's what comedy was.
Either way, was J. Moore that good looking?
Am I crazy?
He was cute back then.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure.
Okay, but let's be honest,
let's go back to the truth tree then.
Mark Maron is a good looking guy.
Not always.
I was a little sweaty.
You're a good looking, dude,
why are you getting TV shows every fucking second, man?
And we'll get to that.
Not for my looks.
We'll get to that in a second.
It is, this company, your face,
I've seen you on screen. No, he's a handsome guy, it's annoying. You have great angles on your face. Not for my looks. We'll get to that in a second. It is. There's confidence. Your face, I've seen you on screen.
No, he's a handsome guy.
It's annoying.
You have great angles on your face.
When you were young.
Now.
Yes, you're right.
You matured.
When you were young, you were hideous.
You were a hideous man to look at.
I was long, sweaty and bloated and long hair.
But getting back to Joe, look, I imagine.
All right.
Sex machine, dude.
That was okay.
Ladies, who's that? That's a hot- I really couldn't land on a look, could I? Yeah. I imagine that- Sex machine, dude. Yeah, yeah. That was okay.
Ladies, who's that?
That's a hot-
But look, I really couldn't land on a look, could I?
Yeah.
God, you really rotated.
Now go to the, no, the Comedy Central photo down below.
Awful.
Awful.
Awful.
That was a bad night.
I mean, this is what anti-semites dream of.
Night there.
That's not quite a full Jew.
I would say full Jew.
Look at the one in me and Sam Kenison.
That is me at my drugged out fucking best.
Wow.
What a legendary photo.
That's such a good photo.
What a crazy, I was out of my mind.
I know.
Out of my mind, everything had a reason.
Was that at Crest Hill?
That was- Did you live in Crest Hill?
Yeah, I did.
That was in the back lot.
Wait, hold on.
Was that Fitz?
Was that you and a young Fitz?
Yeah, yeah, that was in Boston, me and Fitz.
Yeah.
Look at that, dude.
Oh my God, dude.
I've never seen this photo.
Look at how jacked Fitz looks.
Wow.
And then up there on the,
where's that one of me and Dave Cross in the red shirt?
Dave Cross, it was probably in the mid-90s, yeah.
Hey.
Oh my God.
Yeah.
Wow.
But that night for the Comedy Central,
the first half hours, I was, I fucked it, man.
It was so sad, dude, because I got out here,
I wasn't living out here,
and I was still doing Coke then, right?
And I had one guy who would get me the blow here, right?
And it was, you remember Bob Baker?
Oh yeah. Sure.
Bob Baker. Bob Baker, dude.
I couldn't trust Chewy, but Baker had other connections.
Chewy had other connections.
House of Blues, you can get in there for free.
Yeah, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but,
I don't know what happened to Baker,
but he wasn't a dealer, but he, you know, he was here,
and I would say like, I'm coming out, you know,
try to guess him.
So I was really dead set on like trying to keep clean
before that special.
And I thought I did because I was like, you know,
I'll just do a little the night before, but I'll, I'll stop at because I was like, you know, I'll just do a little
the night before but I'll stop at like six at night.
You know, and but needless to say, I didn't sleep much
and I tanked, I didn't tank but it was not good.
It was the same, that was like the same night
that that Hedberg, whether it was that night
or the night after did the special that made him.
But he didn't do well either but he was him. I was at that special. Yeah, that night or the night after, did the special that made him. But he didn't do well either, but he was him.
I was at that special.
Yeah, that was at the IVA on-
He bombed so bad.
Well, and he talks about it in the special, right?
Doesn't he talk about eating shit?
He stops at one point and comes out again.
It was weird.
But it took on mythic proportions, that special.
I mean, that really was what put him on the map.
But that was the same bunch of taping.
So I was kind of sweaty, I did okay.
I really didn't have my voice in totally.
I was still kind of bitter.
But the saddest thing about this is like,
after you do a set like that,
you wanna go into a room full of friends
and they had food there too.
And I'm like, all right, I finished the set
and I walk into where the food is.
No one's in there but Baker.
And he's going, they got roast beef.
And I'm like, wow.
Wow, that's the victory party.
So what years were you a doorman at the store though?
I got out here, I guess it was 86 and 87.
So I got out here in like the summer of 86,
became head doorman and she made me head doorman.
I had to get all these idiot's jackets.
It was a different thing there.
She tried to open one in Universal City,
like in a hotel there.
So it was my job to make the schedule for the door guys.
There was no security or anything
and nobody wanted this job.
So it was me, Rod Blackman, who wasn't a comic,
Andy Volver, Mike Jacellnick, do you remember that guy?
He became a, he was a lawyer, he's in Cleveland.
You know, Jay Pope was another guy,
I can't believe I'm remembering these names.
But like, you know, she was like,
man, you gotta get him jackets.
And I'm like, I gotta get him jackets?
So I'm down in fucking Chinatown,
trying to find black blazers for these idiots.
And yeah, and then like, I gotta get him jackets. So I'm down in fucking Chinatown, trying to find black blazers for these idiots.
And yeah, and then like,
I was living in Culver City with Steve Brill,
and then they kicked me out of the apartment
because like Pete Berg, you know, the director?
Yeah.
Steve Brill is also director.
I went to college with Steve and we were best friends.
We actually started doing comedy together.
Pete Berg is killing it now.
He does all right.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like he did a few Sandler movies, he did Sandler's Last Special he's- He's killing it now. He does all right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like he does, he did a few Sandler movies.
He did Sandler's last special,
but Berg is definitely killing it.
He's definitely killing it.
Berg is, that's what he said.
He was your college roommate?
Wow.
No, Steve Brill was my good friend in college.
So Brill lived out here and there was a whole crew of them,
including Berg.
When I met Berg, he was like, he was running,
he was trying to act.
I took pictures of those guys
and he used the picture I took of him as his headshot for years out in Culver City. But him and and Brill were friends
and I was living with Brill in Culver City in a building his uncle owned or his mom or something
and what happened was Berg needed a place to live so all of a sudden they're like you can stay on the
couch and it was so sad because I was trying to get in and doing standup. The way I got the job as a doorman at the store
is like Mitzi, I was doing PA work.
This is a funny story.
Like I didn't know what the fuck to do when I got out here.
I just wanted to be a comic
and I didn't know how to get on and know anything.
And when I got out here, I'd showcase at the store
and I showcased, I don't even think it was a real showcase
at the improv.
And I just like didn't know what else to do.
There wasn't any other options.
And I started doing PA work.
And so the first job that has a PA was on a,
it doesn't matter.
Yeah, tell me, tell me.
We have to know.
It was on a shoot, it was a series of videos
called Kid Songs, music videos for kids.
Kids song.
Kids song. Kids song.
Like kids bop.
Yeah, whatever, something like that.
And this one was a circus themed one.
And they were shooting at the circus Vargas,
which was on, it was not, it was, what do you call it
when they're not in season?
Off season. Off season.
Right.
So, I know, sorry.
I'm getting old.
I see why you're ending the show.
Yeah.
Yeah. That's pretty good.
Thank you. Thank you.
Wait, wait, save it.
Come on, just finish the story.
Don't attack me.
So, it's just all these circus people and these kids
and the directors all coked up and it's all crazy.
And I'm just a PA running around getting things.
But it's like really, it's all circus people
and the kids are running around.
And then after a day of shooting, there were two clowns.
And after we wrapped, the clowns come up to me
and they're like, you wanna get high?
And I'm like, yeah, okay.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm a PA.
I've never been high with a clown.
Well, that's the fucked up thing.
Like, let's go to our trailer.
So I go to the clown trailer and they're in there
and one dude just starts rolling in joy
and I go, wait, hold on.
You gotta take the makeup off.
I can't be stoned staring at you guys
in fucking clown makeup.
I can't do the clown.
The nose, was the nose still on?
Everything was still on. Oh wow.
That's insane.
So anyway, so I get another PA job for Mitzi
and I didn't know it. I just got a job, you get into this circuit of PAs
and she was shooting at that time.
Where, what is over there now?
Where the Petri is, Petri used to be the house of blues
and before that it was a house.
Wow.
It was called, it was John Barrymore's old house,
an old Hollywood house that Mitzi owned
and she put a restaurant in there called Barrymore's.
And for a while there, no one would eat there.
Was it good?
I don't know.
It was a full restaurant.
No one would fucking eat there, man.
Wow.
Well, they tried to offer packages,
like dinner and the show.
So you'd eat dinner and then you'd go to the main room show.
But it was a restaurant for a little while
and there were production offices underneath it.
And she was trying to produce the Comedy Store channel.
So she had all the guys that were working at that time
doing all kinds of sketches and all kinds of shit.
It was this big undertaking.
Ollie Joe Prater?
Yeah, probably.
I'm trying to remember who was,
well, she was fucking Danny Stone at the time.
Oh my God.
Danny was like, you know, how are you?
He always did like a Rodney Dangerfield bit.
He has that kind of vibe.
Yeah, always wearing a suit and sweaty, bug-eyed.
I heard Jimmy Schuber ate her pussy,
but I don't know if I can.
All right, Mark, finish your story.
Yes.
He diverts, and it's-
Sorry, sorry.
No Schuber will cop to that.
Yeah.
Yeah, Schuber used to say-
Really?
I think so.
Oh, that was urban myth, okay.
No, no. He used to say, I had a pager on my dick. Yeah, Schubert used to play it. Really? I think so. Oh, that was Urban Myth, okay. No, no.
He used to say, I had a pager on my dick.
Yeah, so.
Wow, wow.
But I don't want to talk out of school,
but I think that's public information.
Sure. Okay, good, good.
It is now.
So anyway, so I had auditioned for Mitzi,
and I was running around doing PA on this weird shoot.
And you know who was around?
Charlie Barnett.
Charlie Barnett?
You know the guy from Washington Square Park?
He was in DC Cab, I think.
He was at Comedy Store regular, old street performer.
And I just remember he was around,
Ollie Joe was around, all of them.
Jan Hart, Karen Haber, all that crew of the late 80s.
Freddie Asparagus?
No, he wasn't part of that.
But I did some blow with Freddie once up at Crestville.
All right.
You know who that is?
I know Freddie Asparagus, yeah.
I've heard the name. What were his three amigos? Yeah. He played the bartenderresto. All right. But you know who that is? I know Freddy Asparagus, yeah. I've heard the name.
Three Amigos.
Yeah.
He played the bartender.
Oh, he was.
You know what?
Yes.
That line, that role was-
That scene where he's like,
I gotta get out of this town.
It's too dangerous.
I remember, yeah.
He's a good guy.
Great guy, yeah.
He died, right?
Yeah, he died.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, so anyway, so I know him.
I mean, like I auditioned for Mitzi, all I wanna be is a comic.
So I'm like, I see her at these,
she's running around or moving slowly around in her boa.
Yeah.
Sashaying around, yeah.
And I go, Mitzi, I finally get a minute,
I'm like, Mitzi, I'm Mark Merrin, do you remember me?
I audition for you, she goes, oh yeah, you're funny.
Go talk to Becker and be a doorman.
Wow.
So I went up to Mike Becker's office.
Was that a big deal back then?
Yeah. Wow.
Because that was the entry level position.
Wow.
So like, so then, so I go meet with Becker
and she's, I said she wants me to be a doorman.
He's like, all right.
And then he's like, can you be head doorman?
I'm like, yeah, sure.
And I'm fucking in Chinatown buying jackets for guys.
But so that's how I got in.
Wow.
And what had happened where I was living.
So.
Crestle.
Wait, how old were you?
No, this is before I moved to Crestle
because I was still at, they made me move to the couch.
Okay.
At Brill and Berg's house.
But then they just started bringing parties home,
bringing chicks home, and they'd wake me up
and Berg would be like, play some guitar.
You know, I'm like, what am I doing?
Why am I the bitch in this situation?
Get us laid, dude.
This is late 80s, right?
Yeah, and I didn't know how to get an apartment
because I was a moron.
I was like a feral.
And I'm like, I wanted to get in,
I had to get out of there, so I go look at apartments,
but I don't know how to look at apartments.
And then like an apartment opens up down the hall.
Some woman needs a roommate down the hall from Berg.
So I go take this apartment, and within days,
I'm doing blow, she's supposedly sober,
I get her fucked up on blow,
and I drank all of her champagne for her party.
And then there was literally an intervention.
Her and her boyfriend and their friend said,
you can't live here anymore.
Wow.
And I'm like, all right.
And then Mitzi was like, you can live at Crest Hill.
And I'm like, great.
So that's when I-
Who was living there at the time, Crest Hill?
Well, for people that don't know,
Crest Hill is a house that the comedy store owned
and Mitzi would house-
More on the hillside of the store.
It's right above the store.
It was a great old place.
At the time, what was funny, cause I got a really good room. The room right off the kitchen had above the store. It's right above the store. It was a great old place. At the time, what was funny,
because I got a really good room.
The room right off the kitchen had its own bathroom.
It was a good room.
And then across the way, Todd, Todd Lemish, the Todd,
Tamayo lived upstairs, Tamayo Zuki.
And then across the hall, who the hell was that?
Well, Todd, there was another Todd, the sound guy.
He lived downstairs. And eventually, Sch the hell was that? Well, Todd, there was another Todd, the sound guy. He lived downstairs.
And eventually, Schubert was living upstairs
in the porch room for a while.
Nancy Redman was there for a minute.
I'm trying to remember who lived in that main bedroom.
But that was sort of the crew at the time.
But I remember one time, because that's why
Kennison was always up there and why I had to go get
the booze and everything, because he was with Tamayo
and they were always broken up.
So he would like come up there and we'd do blow
for three days and he just ended up like pounding
on our door like, Tamayo!
Oh!
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Keep the good vibes going with Chubby's. It was crazy. It was the last, I think, really crazy
time when I was there. I talked about this recently with Andy Richter and it all sort of comes back to
you. You know, because I mean, I've told some of these stories before, but it's like when you get
back to them, it's sort of like, you know, you start, you start, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you start getting back into it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But it was just, it was just so crazy
because no, Monday night was no cover night, right?
Wow.
So, so the way that worked was like all the rooms were open,
they had to buy drinks, but that was like Sam night.
So Sam would take over the main room,
Monday night he'd show up like 10, 30, 11.
And then it was just all the freaks from Hollywood
would converge. It was just such a...
Stevie Nicks, everyone, right?
Well, it was like more, it was porn stars occasionally.
You know, people would come and Sam would have to,
you know, put on a, like he was a good guy show for him.
I remember, you know, one time, like,
I was such a fucking cocky dick.
Like one time in the kitchen,
like Clapton and Phil Collins had come to see Sam.
And I don't give a fuck about Collins.
Not really give a fuck.
But Clapton a little bit.
A little, but not much.
You know, so.
What?
He's not my...
Eric Clapton?
Yeah, but he's Eric Clapton,
but I'm a guitar player, so I have him in a certain place.
I tend to play more like him than I want to,
but whatever.
So he's back there.
James Taylor, would you,
James Taylor is somebody that would be impressed by him?
I interviewed him.
He's a lot darker than you think.
Is it, yeah.
What does fire and rain mean?
Dude, full on depressive junkie for years.
Couldn't get out from under it, dude.
Couldn't get out from under it.
Isn't that Clapton's story too?
Yeah, but like Clapton-
He was a dark, dark guy.
Yeah, I guess, but why does he play?
Just, he's kind of a hack.
I love this.
Clapton is a hack, I love that.
A blues hack, yeah, a bit.
I mean, he had pretty good phrasing,
but I think that his best work,
oddly, was with like John Mayall and the Bluesbreakers, the first band he phrasing, but I think that his best work, oddly,
was with like John Mayall and the Bluesbreakers,
the first band he was in, when he first realized,
like, if I just crank this,
I can still play these old dumb blues licks
and sound like a genius.
So, wow.
What?
I love you.
He'll cop to that.
Joe Bonamassa.
Bonamassa is a savant, but I don't know who he is, do you?
No.
But that's kind of why I like him.
That's why I don't like him.
You think he keeps himself hidden
in an order for us to not find out?
I just think he's a sort of like
naturally gifted guitar player.
Yeah.
Who can play the fuck out of anything.
And he's a good mimic.
And he's like, you know, he can play like anybody.
Yeah. But like, I don't, if you can fake feeling,
who do I believe?
You know, you gotta figure like,
Freddie King can only play Freddie King.
And when Freddie King plays Freddie King,
you're like, holy fuck, this guy's really in it.
So Bonamassa can play exactly like Freddie King.
I'm like, yeah, but you're not Freddie King.
It sounds right.
But the feeling's not there.
Right.
Makes sense?
Yeah, who's your god then?
Who's the guitar god?
Well, that's a good question.
Or who are the gods, plural then?
Who are the three gods?
If there's a little Mount Rushmore, a little whatever.
Who, three or four gods.
In terms of guitar playing?
Yeah.
Hendrix? Look, you gods. In terms of guitar playing? Yeah. Hendrix?
Look, you know, in terms of blues,
you know, I'll go with those old guys.
You know, I like Freddie and I like Albert
and I like, who else do I listen to?
First names?
Give me the last name too, man.
But I like Helen Wolf.
I like his guitarist, Hubert Sumlin.
I like, what?
He's just deep to cut, like, I'm sorry. Any of these sorry these fucking Albert Hooms Albert King. Oh, Albert King was Stevie Ray's guy
You know Albert King. He was Stevie Ray's guy. You do. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and Freddie King like it was pretty pretty great
He's Clapton's guy, but I like it. I like dirty shit. I like hound dog Taylor
Oh, wow that I mean, I like dirty fucking blues
I'm a big Keith Richards guy,
and he's not really a lead player, but I love him.
I like Hendrix a lot.
I mean, you can listen to Hendrix.
That stuff's crazy.
It still sticks.
But he's doing Buddy.
It's so funny, I saw Buddy Guy, you know?
Because Hendrix got a lot of Buddy Guy in him.
And it was very funny when I saw Buddy Guy and Junior Wells
when I was in college in Cambridge.
They were both shit faced, it was second show.
And Buddy was like, you like Hendrix?
I'll show you Hendrix.
And he started doing these looks,
I'm like, holy shit, those are your licks?
But Hendrix was a genius.
You don't like pop bands then?
Like when Nirvana came about, did you like it?
That's pop.
No, I like Nirvana, sure.
Okay, okay.
Oh yeah, I listened to popular music.
Well, they became very popular.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, no, I listened to all the music, dude.
I'm a big Iggy Pop fan, Big Stages fan.
Did you ever find yourself?
I used to listen to,
like I was listening to Skinner the other day.
I grew up in New Mexico, dude.
So I had to, all right, dude.
But I knew a guy at a record store
who was like one of these like weirdo art guys,
Steve LaRue, and he turned me on
onto all the sort of art rock stuff and Bowie
and then been on the radio,
you were Skinnered and all that other shit.
So I'm pretty well versed in all of it.
What do I go back to the most?
I think I, honestly, I listened to more Stones than I should.
Stones more than anything.
Well, I go back to the Martin ACDC,
huge Angus Young fan.
He's definitely one of my guys.
Okay.
Angus Young on the lead guitar.
And a fucking performer, no less.
But you can't beat that guy.
And his licks are just straight up blues licks,
but man, he's one of the best.
Good performer.
Fuck it.
He's a great guitar player.
Yeah.
Great guitar player.
Did you find yourself ever liking John Prine or no?
Yeah, sure.
You like that guy.
I like John Prine. I can see you liking him
Oh, he's good. I interviewed him great guy because I feel like he's kind of your style of guy where
He does however, he's clever. No. No, that's not what I would say. I would say no. He just doesn't give a fuck
If it if it feels like it's supposed to be the right way if it's like I'll do it my way
I know his way and It does it his way.
And some of his songs are fucking great.
Oh, there's-
Angel from Montgomery.
All right, well, why don't you end your podcast?
Sorry about that, Mark.
Oh, let's get back to what we started with.
Yeah, let's go with the original stuff.
I don't know what-
I get drifted from it.
It's just like John Prine, this and that, feeling.
I don't know about that.
Well, we're just chatting.
I don't like it.
Let's go back to it.
Fuck you.
But the thing with Joe, the thing with Joe,
is I don't know that we have a lot to talk about
because of my idea of what he's done to comedy.
Sure.
And I don't think it's great.
I think that it's tribalized, and I think that
he's created a sort of army of people
that think they know comedy,
but they only know a specific thing,
and what they think is good is not necessarily good.
It may be what they're like, what they like,
but on the outside of that, most of the sort of sensitive
weirdos that we all grew up with in comedy
have been sort of pushed aside,
and the space for them has become limited.
It's a little- There was a time though that alt comedy was the-
Not alt comedy. I'm not even talking about the alt people. I'm talking about just interesting
standups. Weirdos. Yeah. Brent Weinbach has a great special.
Sure. I think he's so weird. Joe Mandi.
Yeah, Joe Mandi. And now it's like kind of this, there's this cultural idea of what comedy is.
Is there a world, and I understand what you're, I get your perspective.
Is there a world where both these things exist and it doesn't fucking matter?
So this is what I always say, like, I get that you don't like that world.
That's part of why I love you, because you're like, fuck that and you'll shit on it.
And that's what's great about comedy.
But there's some good comics in there,
and there is a lot of middle section.
There's a lot, I believe that we all exist
in the same world.
And it doesn't matter is my point.
I get why you.
It's not all on him.
No, no.
The culture has changed.
Right.
And I don't necessarily think for the better.
But it's changed in a lot of ways in that,
look, there are comics that only drive clips
and that only do crowd work,
and they don't care if they do other people's jokes
because the traction is with the clip.
And what they don't realize, I think,
and what a lot of people don't realize
is that you're just, you're the internet's bitch.
You're the platform's bitch.
So in the sense that if you're not able
to fucking confidently do an hour
without worrying about getting quips
so you can get people come see you to do crowd work,
what are you really?
What is your voice?
Who do you work for?
You'd like to think you're working for yourself,
but you're just a platform bitch
who doesn't really need to find who they are up there
or do anything interesting at all.
That's a problem.
So, and the bigger problem about what you're saying,
I think we all still do exist,
but the nature of the comedy business is fragmented
and some of it's tribalized,
but there used to be a lot more weirdos around
who were kind of exciting and interesting
and took it a different place.
I would argue with just talky talk comedy,
there's not that many people bringing it
to a different place, dude.
Right. Well, there is some good ones that bringing it to a different place, dude. Right.
Well, there is some good ones that like,
I think that kid, KC Rockett's really entertaining
and fun and different and unique.
I think they're there, right?
I think the problem is you were,
there's so much sludge, there's so much shit,
there's way more noise than we've ever fucking seen.
So it's hard to appreciate or even care
because all that's really being shown
is kind of the constant
like give it to him, give it to him, give it to him, give it to him.
So I get-
I'm tired of the attitude.
I thought you were going to say violence in this country.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,, yeah. You know what I mean? And I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, dude.
You moved out because you couldn't survive here.
Yeah.
This is a different.
It's an animal.
It's an animal.
Well, I think the weirdos you're referring to,
by the way, were birthed,
and I defend this to, I'm fucking blue in the face,
were birthed at the Comedy Store.
A lot of them.
I think the biggest mistake that's made
whenever I go back East is, you know,
the New York guys that I have very close friends out there,
they make fun of the store and blah, blah, blah, blah
for all the years.
And I'm always like, dude, you'll never find a bigger group
of fucking lunatic all over the mappers.
When I started, when I moved here in 06,
it was wackadoo, central.
The late nights were fucking insane.
In fact, the front patio, you were like,
is this illegal, whatever this is?
Do these people live here? Yeah, this is crazy. And I think I always push, the front patio, you were like, is this illegal, whatever this is? Do these people live here?
Yeah, this is crazy.
And I think I always push, I was like,
people don't know that about the store.
They think they hear this like corporate bro bro.
And that happens internally in LA a lot too,
where they're like, the store is a fucking, you know,
whatever, sellout factory of fucking bro comics.
Not anymore.
No, but there was a wash of it that came through.
Yeah, Joe, they moved to Austin.
No, I think was a wash of it that came through. And I think- Yeah, Joe, they moved to Austin. No, I think, I think, I think even, I think even,
even up to a few years, even when I was starting out
and the Largo guys or the East Side guys,
if I go to East Side shows,
they would make fun of me going back
because I had a lot of good friends that were East Side guys.
Yeah.
And we started together.
That's because they couldn't cut it,
couldn't cut it at the store.
I know, but they still would hate on me for going,
they'd go, they'd be like,
why the fuck you going there, Santino? It's all fucking, and I hate it. Cause I was like, you don't cut it at the store. I know, but they still would hate on me for going, they'd be like, why the fuck you going there Santino?
It's all fucking, and I hate it,
because I was like, you don't get it,
that place is diverse and insane and weird.
But the bottom line is, you gotta do the job.
You gotta do the job.
Eastside, you don't gotta do the job.
You got a bunch of like-minded people
that'll sort of watch you worm your way
through a personal story that goes nowhere,
and find love. The whole issue, whatever alternative comedy was,
it didn't deliver the goods
because it ain't around anymore.
And that weird argument, it wasn't that alternative comics
were open micers.
They were just trying to do something different.
But if you're brought up with the working ethic
of, like, you know, you open, you middle, you headline,
and then you fucking do the job, That wasn't the same sense of purpose. So when you do the store, and the
reason why I've never stopped doing it, and I was always a club comic from the beginning,
but I-
Well, you're like Blade though. You live in both worlds.
That's right. Well, I helped build the alternative world in New York, but then-
But I'm just saying, there's some comics like you that do both.
Sure.
I wonder why, I mean, there's you,
I think Zach lives in both, Gaffer and Ackers,
Pat and Oswald lives in both,
but some of them don't live in both.
Well, some of them don't live anywhere anymore.
I'm not sure what they're doing.
But they're back on that couch, baby.
But the truth is, is that like in my mind,
it's like you gotta be able to do the job for whoever.
So like the idea, and sometimes at the store it's hard.
It's not always easy at the store.
No, there's tough, tough, tough.
And there's a lot of times where most of the room doesn't know who the fuck I am, but that's
the job.
Right.
I mean, you know, I do have my people and I go do theaters and stuff.
Of course.
But you want to go put yourself through the, I still have that weird ethic.
It's like, cause a lot of people are like, why would you go to the store anymore?
I'm like, I don't know.
Cause I got to do the job.
And it's a way to know whether shit really works.
If you can make it work over there,
it's gonna work anywhere.
I think that's it.
I think everyone that got successful at the store,
that became a store person or store name,
they have that like unrelenting,
I have to be a comedian, I have to do it.
Yeah, there's no other choice.
When wives and girlfriends and friends are like,
what are you going to do?
You're going to the fucking now?
Yeah, that's why I don't have any of those things.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So you want to transition to stick?
Real fast, yeah.
Well, just because I can even tell you what it is.
Go ahead.
He was a very masterful golf player.
I know.
You do?
I do, I know he's a good golf player.
He's also a great bowler.
He's good at everything.
Yeah, he's got all those white guys sports down.
Right, right, right, he does, right?
I have some of the black ones.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay.
No, no.
And he's also, I don't know if you know this,
great actor.
Okay, that's not, that part's not.
I think you are.
No, I think you are, yeah.
I think, we've talked about this part.
You're a great actor.
Yeah, yeah, but anyway.
He should have gotten something instead. Yeah, but it has nothing to do with you. I told them, I kept telling them. You've talked about this before. You're a great actor. Yeah, yeah, but anyway. He should have gotten something instead.
Yeah, but it has nothing to do with you.
I told them, I kept telling them,
where's Andrew?
They kept saying, no thanks, no thanks, no thanks.
I was mad.
We saw the show, Stick.
It's a great show.
It's on Apple.
Of course, our good friend, Mark Maron is on it.
You wouldn't have played my part though.
No.
No, no, no, no, no.
You would have played Owen's part.
That was a tough sell.
I think it was attached early. Yeah, it was either me or Owen, basically. No. There was no, no, no, no, no. You would have played Owen's part. That was a tough sell. I think it was attached early.
Yeah, it was either me or Owen, basically.
No.
There was no other, the joke is there's no other parts.
It's Owen and a young child in him.
It's like a fucking, how was it?
There's no one-liner?
You could have easily done Timothy Olyphant's role.
Yeah, fuck you, Timothy.
And you could have, you could have done
the kid's dad's role, too.
Who's that?
What's his name?
I forget the actor, he's great, but I mean, I'm just thinking like you could have done those.'s dad's role too. Who's that? What's his name? I forget the actor, he's great,
but I mean, I'm just thinking like you could have done those.
Thanks a lot, recommend.
I'm the only fucking comedian that,
me and Nate Barganski, the only comedian is that golf.
It's so funny, I sent Nate a picture of me and,
no, I don't even know the guy's name.
This is gonna piss me the fuck off, I bet.
Yeah.
Be a guy that I like.
Well, I'm sure you like him.
The fact that I can't remember his name is not great, but hold on, let me see if I can find it. Holy shit, I didn't know him and I bet. He'd be a guy that I like. Well, I'm sure you like him. The fact that I can't remember his name is not great,
but hold on, let me see if I can find it.
Holy shit, I didn't know him and I talked.
So, Happy Gilmore 2,
you should have gotten a real golf part in that too.
Yeah, why didn't you get a role in that?
Not gonna say anything bad right now
if Sandro's listening, okay?
Thank you, Adam.
Thank you for everything. Thank you for everything.
Thank you for everything, Adam.
As if Adam would ever fucking hear this.
You think he was listening?
No.
You know what's so funny?
He's got his finger on the pulse.
He's pretty, he's not listening to our show.
He's pretty good though, Adam knows.
He's so good.
Adam knows.
He's smart.
I'll be honest with you, I thought that last special
that Josh Safdie directed was one of the best things
I've ever seen.
Yeah, fact.
It was like, and nobody watched it, and it was so weird,
and it was so clear that he had an agreement with Adam
to be like, I'm gonna do some shit during the show.
He's just gonna react to it.
Well, the special before that got a lot of love
because it was more, oh, that's Kalamorokawa.
Yeah, so I sent that picture to Nate
and Nate says, this is my happiest day.
I never in a million years thought I would see this picture.
You with Kalamorokawa is so funny.
And Kalamorokawa, of course, is?
A human.
Asian, yeah, Asian.
He's like you, bud.
Damn it, I got it right.
Just like you, big guy.
It's like if you got a photo with Thierry Henry
or something.
It would change your life.
It would piss me off.
Yeah.
God, I hope I do one day.
He's one of the greatest French soccer players
of all time.
Yeah, I'm not a sports guy in any way.
I'm just saying if you had.
I know that.
Well, golf's not a sport, it's an activity. But I mean, I'm athletic, but I don't do. Yeah, I'm not a sports guy in any way. I'm just saying if you had. I know that. Well golf's not a sport, it's an activity.
But I mean, I'm athletic, but I don't do.
Yeah, we get it.
Okay.
He has been working out a lot more than usual.
I know, look at his legs.
I thought we were cutting down on the zins though.
We're not.
No.
No.
No.
The no is no, we're not.
And we're not gonna even.
Now I'm starting to see them all around my yard
because I don't even spit them in the right place
I'm just like Now, you know, you got a problem where you're like, is that a zin? Why did it under my pillow?
My buddy told me why did it end your podcast time out? Hold on finishes. Yeah stick sink. Yeah, we're gonna get there
The interesting thing interviewer. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, i'll be honest with you about the the stick casting for me. Yeah
Is that like okay? So I get offered that role of Mitz.
Mm-hmm.
And it's the role of the caddy.
So I immediately said, like, I read some of the scripts,
I'm like, I don't know anything about golf.
And they were, I was basically saying,
no, I can't do it, I don't wanna do it.
And they're like, doesn't matter.
And I'm like, okay, but you know, I have a podcast,
I can't do it.
And they're like, no, we'll figure it out.
And I'm like, okay.
And I kept telling them I can't do it. And they're like, no, we'll figure it out. And I'm like, okay. And I kept telling them I couldn't do it.
But ultimately what became appealing
was a couple of things,
that if I wanna act, I should do it.
You know what I mean?
Because the business is so anemic now.
If you get an offer and you say no,
you're like, all right, well,
then you shouldn't do anything.
Right, because this is it.
Yeah, it's one of them.
Yeah. But the thing that was appealing to me was outside of the, I don't. Right, because this is it. Yeah, it's one of them. Yeah.
But the thing that was appealing to me
was outside of the,
I don't really need to play golf in it.
No.
But the friendship between two guys
who are sad for very deep reasons
and have stuck by each other for this long
through thick and thin and through these emotional cycles,
well, that was kind of compelling to me
to be able to play that.
And I thought I could play that.
And the nature of a caddy is fundamentally codependent.
I mean, you're there to service the dude.
So that dynamic with Owen, I thought was really interesting
and could be kind of touching.
And that was really what drove me to it.
And I learned enough about golf to sell it,
but it wasn't on me to carry the golf of that show.
Pun intended, carry as a cat.
Yeah, you didn't have to carry the golf of the show,
but it didn't matter because honestly, like anything else.
He got a straight offer, bro.
What's that?
Straight offer.
Can I finish the thing with him and I
so we can have a good, you know what I mean?
A good rapport out of it.
In the middle of the thing.
Am I a bad interviewer to the guys in the booth?
No, you're the best.
Anyway.
It's a conversation, Bobby.
Okay. Yeah.
Yeah, ask away, whatever else.
No, go ahead.
No, no, we were gonna tie it up.
Tie it up, dude, put a button in it.
Yeah.
Put a button, see a button in it.
You see how good he is at the thing?
On it.
Yeah. Fuck, dude.
It's good.
I think this whole comedy team thing works for you guys.
And it really does. It does, yeah. We're not, we. Yeah, it's good. It's good. I think this whole comedy team thing works for you guys. And it really does.
It does, yeah.
We're not, we don't, we're our own little ships
and nobody wants to be on this boat, by the way.
Like when people say like, you know,
those worlds have been kind of, I don't want to say,
like corporatized or whatever, eaten alive
by other bigger things.
Yeah.
And Bobby sometimes will say,
how come nobody wants to buy our show?
And I'll say, buddy, we're not really sellable.
We're not really like-
No, but thank God,
because now you just run your own ship
and cash your own checks.
Whenever someone says, this is kind of funny,
we don't ever have politics on the show.
We never do it because we just are like,
that's not for us, go over there.
I don't like it on this show.
And we had a few offers of like
people politicians wanted to come on the show. None of the big ones.
Yeah.
But anyway-
I only did a sitting president.
Yeah. I know. We remember. But it was unfortunate because it was the-
What?
It was the-
The black one?
It was the black one. Yeah. You said it, not me. You were the one that- Take it away,
Mark.
He was great.
No, he was fucking amazing. He was one of the best interviews of all time.
No, but I said, I said we shouldn't have politicians on.
You know, he obviously agreed.
He's like, yeah, I don't want that shit on here.
And then I also thought, had they seen this show?
This is not.
But that's the thing, they don't give a fuck.
All they want is your audience.
That's right.
They don't give a fuck.
Because politicians will talk right through you.
They don't give a shit.
They're gonna say what they wanna say no matter what.
And they're gonna, you know,
and you can say whatever you want and they'll be like, yes, but I'm going to say this now. Right. I're gonna say what they wanna say no matter what. And you can say whatever you want
and they'll be like, yes, but I'm going to say this now.
Right, I'm gonna say what I wanna say.
And also, why'd you quit your podcast?
That's Bobby's question.
I know, but Bobby, go ahead and ask it.
Well, because-
I texted you, did nine, what did I say?
It was very nice.
Yeah, you said congratulations.
I said thank you, Podfather, and congratulations,
and good luck in the future. Did I say anything? No, you fucking did said, thank you, Podfather. Yeah. Congratulations. Yeah, wow.
And good luck in the future.
Yeah. Did I say anything?
I don't know. No, you fucking did.
Of course you didn't text.
No, you were like, why?
Yeah, that's all, yeah, yeah.
I'll tell you why I was mystified by it.
Is that the right word?
Sure, that works.
Yeah, I love when he tries.
God, you guys- It did work, but I love it.
If it were the 40s, you guys would be the best team
because you'd be like, what, Bobby?
Be like, I don't know.
All right.
Don't you think we're a good throwback
to old comedy teams?
That wasn't even an Asian thing.
No.
That was just a tone.
Sounded like Asian.
No, it was just, I don't know.
Yeah, yeah, I've heard villagers say that.
We are like a good comedy duo from the old days.
Totally.
Of like the old stupid, wackadoos.
You're the straight guy and he's the wacky guy.
Right. Yeah, classic. You're the straight guy and he's the wacky guy. Right.
Yeah, classic.
You're like Marty Allen.
Go ahead, wacky guy.
Hello there.
That's Marty Allen.
Hello there.
See, that was racist.
Do you see what he did?
Yeah, I see what this is now.
Yeah.
No, no, that's a team up.
It's an old school team up.
It's a team-em-up.
Go ahead, Bobby, let's be serious.
So let's be serious for a second.
Cause you've had, I think, the best guests, I mean,
you can imagine.
Thank you.
You've had Leo, right?
Brad Pitt, Barack Obama.
Yep.
In that order, by the way.
It goes Leo, Brad Pitt, Barack Obama.
One of the best moments of the podcast, we had Barack Obama on and then President Obama.
And then me and my producer did a sort of post talk
about what it was like to have the president on.
And people were like, who are you gonna put on after that?
And we were like, I think Rich Voss.
Wow, wow, wow.
Rich Voss, very funny, little drop though.
The best.
A little drop from the president of the United States?
Voss is so funny, I've known him forever.
He's so funny.
So funny. I knew him when I was He's so funny. He's so funny.
I knew him when I was starting out in Boston.
He used to come up from New York.
And back then, he had this jerry-curl Italian ponytail.
It was a little Italian horn necklace.
But he was always something.
But it was so funny.
I had a great interaction with him.
Because he knows Norton.
And I'm friends with Norton.
And I haven't talked to Norton in a while.
And I saw Voss at the Comedy Store
And I'm like how's Jimmy doing is Jimmy doing all right how to hurt him and he goes Jimmy's great
He's got a beautiful wife with a huge cock
All true all true yeah, why'd you make the decision your hair looks good, buddy
Stop with this it does. I'm not you know what guy oh this. It does. You know what guy? Oh boy.
Oh boy. You're misreading me again. No I'm not misreading you. You always think that
I'm like you know condescending or I'm busting your balls. Oh it's because of the
history we once had. At one point you didn't like me. No that's not true that
was all in your head. Okay. At one point he doesn't like everybody. That's not true.
But then he learns to like you a little. I'm just guarded. It's not not that. You've never had a point where you didn't like him or you doesn't like everybody. That's not true. But then he learns to like you a little bit. I'm just guarded.
It's not that I don't like.
You've never had a point where you didn't like him
or you didn't like me?
I never didn't like you.
I didn't know you.
There we go.
That's how he does it.
That's how he does it.
That's how he does it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
All right, good.
I didn't know you either.
I just treated you like shit.
And here's the problem.
I would argue that I didn't treat you like shit.
I may have come off as,
a lot of people think arrogant, but it's not.
I'm just guarded.
If everybody thinks it, may it be true?
But you know me now.
I do.
I do.
I love you.
I'm a pretty softy guy.
Great, great guy.
Once you get the key to me.
But here's the problem, Marc.
Yes, that is to be true.
The problem is losers like us, we. Yeah. We fucking loved you through it
because we were like, I still really like him and I really want him to like it, but I don't think he
likes me. And we did that and we all did that. Although I was so, did I tell you about Oklahoma
city? No. I'm shooting the green day movie in Oklahoma city. Yeah. I'm at the hotel of the day
off and I'm coming out of my hotel room and from afar I see the back of his head,
but I thought there's no way that's gonna happen.
He turns around, and it was the most exciting.
I kind of speed ran towards you.
It was unbelievable.
He was doing a show there.
I was stuck in a hotel.
It was a great meeting.
It was great.
But he had the other times when he didn't look at you
in the hallway
and he asked you away.
Oh yeah, yeah.
You remember those days?
Yeah, yeah.
Well, I think that you didn't like my style of comedy.
I'm very needy on stage.
I use little tricks.
I am too.
I use-
Who isn't needy on stage?
Yeah, I use tricks on stage that you wouldn't,
you know what I mean, do.
Let's be honest.
What are some of the tricks?
Right?
Just like, you know what I mean?
What's not a Mark Marrow trick that you do?
Well, I kiss people on the lips.
You do.
Different things, like, you know.
Pume shot.
Pume shot.
Yeah, show the belly.
Show the belly, the little tricks that you know.
But I want you to know that once you guys, anybody,
any comic, once you figure out the trick of me
and you figure out how to bust my balls, it's over.
Yeah, it is.
I don't believe that.
I believe you softened.
No, no, no.
No, yes, yes, yes.
No, he's saying there's, look, dude, he's saying-
He softened.
He's saying there's a fucking code
and you gotta get to the, once you get the,
you know what it is in video game?
Like once you found out where that extra thing was
in Mario and you're like,
I know how to get that fucking thing.
Oh, right, right, right, right.
But it looked threatening and hard,
but once you get the thing, you're like, no,
you jump on the mushroom, you get to the thing,
then you can, then you get it.
That's what it really is.
That's Mark's thing.
Doesn't that make sense?
Yeah, it does.
And you gotta get there.
Also, when I knew you, it was like,
I knew you when WTF was new,
even before when you were married to me, right?
Weird.
What are you fucking doing?
I think it was a secret or something.
I'm through it.
You're through it, yeah, yeah, he's through it.
Yeah, yeah.
Jesus.
Yeah, which I have feelings about,
but I knew when you weren't as successful.
And you know, the reason why you started WTF
is because you were in a good place.
Bad place.
Very bad place.
And you were a little angry and sad.
Yeah.
Right?
And so I think that once you got through the divorce.
You're right.
And, oh.
Right.
And then, you know, WTF started taking off.
Then you were getting TV spots and you were,
all the things that you deserved you got.
Yeah.
Okay.
And then you softened.
Well, I softened with age and I softened with a lot of stuff.
But also the primary intention of WTF at the beginning
was to sort of settle these scores of people
that either I did have problems with
or people who had problems with me.
And most of the time when I thought I had caused some trouble
for somebody or they didn't like me,
they didn't even know what I was talking about.
And I'd be,
you know, I'd bring up these events and be like,
oh yeah, okay, I guess.
And it was like, I had decided somehow
that I was an outsider of the community.
You're not.
No, I'm not, but I'm crazy.
Okay.
So that's true.
You're a leader.
Well.
Yeah, you are. You're a leader in the community. You're one of the forefathers. But you're also crazy. Okay. So that's true. You're a leader. Wow. Yeah, you are.
You're a leader in the community.
You're one of the forefathers.
But you're also crazy.
You're crazy.
So this lines up.
Yeah, yeah.
A little bit paranoid.
All right, so say it.
So say it.
What?
What, what, why?
Why did I stop?
Just why?
Why are you done?
Why?
Oh, oh.
Well, the truth is, like, we've been doing it 16 years.
And when we set out to do it, it was not, there was was no money to be made it was really just an act of trying to create
something you know honest and interesting and it evolved over time and
my producer and I were audio guys and he's a very specific type of producer he
spends a lot of time with these interviews he crafts them and they and
over time it developed a very personal style
and it was sort of the arc of my life
and my engagement with these people,
but it was ultimately a lot about me.
And the thing about the show
is that we've worked very hard at it.
We never wanted to do video,
it was never part of our thing.
We're not content generators.
We don't put things into the world to make money, really.
And the fact was is three years ago
we got that deal with the platform
and it was something we deserved
and it was not a huge deal, but it was a good one.
It was a good one.
And we got in under the wire on that
and right before we took the platform deal,
we were like, you know,
we don't have to keep doing this.
We've done an amazing thing.
We we've helped sort of create a foundation for this medium.
We've created a style of doing it that a lot of people copped and, you know,
we we're still operating at, uh, the quality has never shifted.
The audience has never gone away, but it really becomes a question of like, how long do we need to do this?
And the arc of the deal with the platform is three years and it's coming up on that.
And we made our money in a way.
But it becomes the, I think the landscape is different.
We do what we do and people still do it, come to it, audio's a great thing.
But after a certain point,
it's like we've interviewed everybody.
And my producers, like, we're a little exhausted,
it's consumed our entire lives.
And we just thought like, in terms of our legacy,
why not just let it be done?
You know, why do you wanna end up like down the line
to having people going like, oh, Maren's still doing it?
Who the fuck needs that?
Yeah.
God, that's fucking wild.
By the way, he gets regarded as an interviewer in public
and you and I are at the airport and people go,
Bobby's mom!
That's what we hear.
Yeah.
You know what I also get?
The reason why I'm doing a special is because
podcasters come see my show and then afterwards they go,
wow, we didn't think you could do standup.
I know.
They never knew you did it.
Yeah, they never even knew I did it.
And that's the most important thing in our life.
Yes.
When's yours coming out?
I shoot it in January.
How long is it gonna be?
You know a headline on the road, Mark.
How many openers you've produced? You know a headline on the road, Mark.
How many openers you bring? Two or three?
No, no, no.
Yeah, I do.
Three or four.
You have to understand something.
I think you're fucking hilarious.
Okay.
And you don't believe that.
You're doing a special.
Oh, he doesn't want the attention.
I don't want the attention.
You're doing a special.
I shot a special New York.
Yes.
And I think it's one of the best I've done.
Wow.
Where is it at?
Where'd you shoot it?
I shot it at the Bam Harvey.
It's like, it's in Brooklyn.
Okay.
I was going to do it at Town Hall again, but I didn't, I didn't, I don't love that space.
And I said, there's, isn't there like an 800, 900 cedar anywhere in New York?
You only did one show?
No, I did two shows.
Okay.
But the theater is like this old theater from the early 1900s and they've maintained it
but they didn't restore it.
So it almost has sort of a half a ruin feeling.
And they had this back wall that looked like a fucking
piece of modern art.
And I'm like, that wall is the whole thing.
We gotta make that part of it.
And the production design on it, it's fucking genius.
Wow.
The guy like, the production design guys,
he saw the space and he wanted to integrate it.
And I'm of the mind that you can't really make those things look that much different
than anything else.
No, leave him alone.
But this guy was genius.
He goes, I'm thinking Katsuki.
And I'm like, I don't even know what the fuck that is.
So I Google it and it's this ancient Japanese art of restoring ceramics with gold to in the
cracks.
It's all and I'm like, all right, well, that sounds good.
You just do that.
So we just created this vibe that was amazing.
I did a full fucking 73 minutes.
I had it in my mind.
73.
Well, they wanted an hour and like, I believe
this is what we work for.
And that's why I love HBO is because they, they
curate shit.
Yeah.
They're still producing good shit.
Yeah.
And I, and they are, they're like, you're going to do an hour.
And I'm like, yeah, I'm going to do an hour. But then I was like, I think it should be 73.
Because my last special was 73. So I got it in my head that that was, that's what I could do. 73.
And they were like, all right, fine, do it. And it's so fucked up. And I guess it's just a
testament to how long I've been doing this.
Like I had like an hour and 45 for the tour,
and I knew a few weeks going into it
that I had to get it down.
And I just got the redundancies out,
I found the callbacks,
but I swear to God, both shows that I did that night,
73 minutes, like on the fucking dial.
Wow.
No cognizant of the time, you were just rolling.
No.
Wow.
And I look at the clock and I'm closing at 73.
I'm like, I know how to do this.
73 is phenomenal.
Yeah, it's good though.
And I just want to tell you.
It's gonna be on the HBO.
HBO premiered August 1st.
August 1st.
August 1st.
Go check it out.
Yeah, please.
What's it called?
Panicked.
Literally perfect.
It's perfect.
And by the way, for the record,
go see,
watch Panicked right now on HBO.
A great name is hard to find.
We're trying to find his name for his special.
Yeah, we'll figure it out later.
No, give him, come on.
Could you call it Bobby?
Yeah, that's good.
With a lot of E's.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Bobby.
It was gonna be called Trauma Llama.
Yeah, that's pretty good.
Trauma Llama's really good.
AI generated that unfortunately.
We asked what AI thought it would be.
What's in the running though, really?
I have no idea.
Well no, we had a few.
The Slep King he likes, Trauma Llama, Chink in the Armor.
Tiger Daddy.
I think that one's very funny.
I do think that one's very funny.
AI came up with all these.
Yeah, yeah. Anyway, watch Mark.
What was the other one?
Tiger Daddy.
Tiger Dad.
Oh, that's pretty good.
I think you should capitalize on the name of these shows.
Yeah, you should.
Yeah.
Well, my nickname on Tiger with my other podcast
is the slept king.
Right.
The what king?
The slept king.
What is that, slept?
Yeah, because I'm not woke.
I'm the opposite.
It's too complicated.
See what I mean?
Yeah, it's hard to find.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's hard to get the panicked,
panicked on HBO.
I see it, I get it.
Okay.
And I'm sure you named that yourself.
I did, we had a few things in the running,
but I kind of stuck with that one.
I'm like, let's just do this.
What was the other one?
Yeah.
What was the other one?
You don't have to clear it with HBO, right?
They don't care.
No, you got to.
Oh, you do? Yeah, and I, yeah, you't have to clear it with HBO, right? They don't care. No, you do got to. Oh, you do?
Yeah, you definitely got to clear it with HBO.
But we were going with one that I thought was too long
and now I can't even remember.
Equanimity and the Bird Theory or whatever?
Exactly.
Yeah, I was just...
Yeah, no, I just was...
But it's really hard to find those one word ones
and you kind of feel like you need to.
There's so many of them done already.
Right, or it's two words, but it's quick.
It's gotta be pop-up.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's gotta be fast.
Yeah, I can't remember the fucking other names.
It's so crazy.
But when I got Panicked, I'm like, this is it.
Panicked is perfect.
Thank you.
Panicked is perfect.
Go see Panicked on HBO.
All right, thanks.
For those of our fans and friends.
That's very nice.
We love you.
We always say thank you for being a bad friend
to the audience, and I want you to do it,
because it'll be a nice sign-off for us.
Thank you for being a bad friend. And audience and I want you to do it because it'll be a nice sign-off for us. Thank you for being a bad friend and no don't cut them off. Fuck you do more and I'll be honest with you these two guys are good friends and
of mine and if I was in a pinch I know I I could call you the D. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. We love you Yeah! Woo-hoo!
Yeah!