Bad Friends - Michael Jeep Jordan

Episode Date: August 25, 2025

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The Conjuring Last Rites On September 5th I come down here, we need you! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Array! Array!

The Conjuring, last rights, only in theater September 5th. Hey, I'm on tour. He's on tour. I'm on tour. I'm doing some dates. I'm going to be at Tempe. I'm going to be in Brea. I'm doing a bunch of casino runs in Southern California.

I'm doing the Borgana in Atlantic City. I'm going all over the place. Go to Andrewsantino.com for those tickets. Andrewsantino.com. Say Andrewsantino.com. Go to the tickets. San Francisco. I'm coming to you too.

I'm going all over. Andrew Santino.com. You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots? White dude and an Asian dude. You two are disgusting. Oh, you two or something. We're bad friends.

So I gave you $100 to go to WeeSpot. Why? Because you're sleeping in the studio. Because your apartment, there's some sort of disaster happening. There's lead in the walls. Yeah. How do you even know that, dude? What do you, Superman?

I didn't. Can you see through the walls at home? Wait, can Superman see through lead or he can't. He had x-ray vision. He can't see through lead, I don't think, though. What do you mean? He can see that there's lead in. the walls. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. Yeah. Superman cannot see through lead. That's what I'm

saying. I just told you that. How can he not see through lead? I know. Out of all the things, lead, I can see through lead. The guy is faster than a fucking train. Yeah. He can jump over a building that's 50 stories high. Yeah. He can see through lead. Give me a break. He can see through copper. But lead is known for its density and ability to block x-rays. That's why lead aprons are used in medical settings to perfect patients and Superman from coming in and taking over a small And Lex Luthor, probably his fortress or whatever. Lead. His little compound, full of lead.

Full of lead. Yeah. Anyway, I gave you $100. I don't know why we got. Oh, the lead at your apartment. And what I'm going to say is, then I said to go sleep at We Spa, which is a Korean spa in Korea town, open 24-7. It's a nice spa.

There's a restaurant. There's a bunch of facilities. Dry sauna. If you're over 5-8, it's hard to sleep in those beds. Yeah. I'm just telling you. Why? Because they're short.

They're for little Asia. Oh. You're not made for full-sized adults. Yeah. That was the big issue. But you also had an issue with the cleanliness of it, or no, or no. It's a very clean place. I don't know.

It was just a thing about, like, because you are naked. Being naked with a bunch of strangers and, like, a soup, like, hot tub is just very, it's odd. Soup? That's what it felt like. Like, I never get, I never went to Can I get the Wii spa soup? That's what it felt like I was a boy. Like, what are you talking about? You would have.

It's water. You would have never lasted a day. day in ancient Rome. We used to do that all the time. Remember back in ancient Rome? You and I, dude? Woo! Love the spa.

And we mixed it with other species. Oh, yeah. There were monkeys running around. Oh, yeah, dude. Yeah, yeah. Hey, honestly, this is my problem with this, though. He says he goes, he can't, the bed's too small, blah, blah, blah. And I said, I already offered you to sleep with the house multiple times.

Your house. Turn it down. Yeah. Oh, he showers at my house. He shower there a few times already. And I said, you're more than welcome. dude, but he, I think he likes the sadness of sleeping at the studio. I don't want to inconvenience anyway.

I like being able to come and go at my own. Well, that's really what it is. I don't want to. Because you know you're allowed to at my house. I know. He just doesn't, he feels like he doesn't want to. I don't want to intrude. I know.

It was, it reminds me of this. When I was struggling for a very long time in this business, I knew, I had friends, you know, you know headliners are millionaires. Yeah. Right? But like, you can't pay rent, right? So, like, should I call so and so. and I was always, so I'd only call my parents.

Oh, because you're afraid of inconvenience to them. I think that's what it is. Yeah. But also, you're like, they don't want me in the house. I'm just a pig. And it's fine here. I like the couch. And then Mensea would be like, bro, fuck again, dude.

Like every three days. He's 500 bucks, bro, but what the fuck, bro? Well, you're struggling. Yeah, I was struggling. He's making 500 hours a minute. Paulie, never. Dude, you just, it's a part of your story, dude. Not eating, dude.

It's a part of your story, bro. He's right, right, and I'm like, okay, I won't eat. One time I heard a story from Sandy Danto. Did I tell you this story on here? Yeah. That Pauley one time, they went out for lunch. They went out for subway when they were on the road together. I have some stories too, yeah, go ahead.

They went out for subway and Polly goes, Sandy's like, well, just take it like an Italian foot long. And Polly goes, smart, dude, half now and eat the other half for dinner. Get the other half for dinner. Yeah, yeah. And he did. And then Sandy was like, kind of wanted the whole thing now. And he was like, nah, dude.

Yeah. Half now, half late. I used to go on the road he would go Dude, it's your time to pay, dude No, yeah, dude I'm like, where are we going? Pot belly? Yeah, yeah, yeah, sandwiches, bro.

Why don't we go to CVS? We'll just get some snacks. But he was always gracious and I love Polly, but another time, I always told you the Jamba Juice story, right? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We already said that many times in this point. Yeah, yeah, and I'm going to say it again.

Say it. Young Bobby, we're at in San Diego and Jamba Juice had just come out. Big deal. Dude, Jamba Juice was like a Lord of the Rings movie. People waited in line. Waited in line for Jamba Juice, dude.

It was unreal. And we were there. He's like, did follow me. And we went right to the front. So big. That's a big deal. Jump the line at the juice. But he was also, there was no internet back then.

He was also a very big star. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. You could just do that, I think. I would never do it. I would wait in line. He's still so famous. Yeah.

They're from San Luis Obispo. Yeah. They're from the slow, baby. But what happened? You jumped the line. We jumped the line. And I was so, I was blushing. Yeah.

Because I'm like, dude, this is like morally, like ethically wrong. Yeah, to cut all these people off. But no one complained and we just got it. So maybe, I don't know. Then they made a drink called the weasel for a while. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Prompted them up. Yeah.

The jamba juice line. You know what I went to go see the other night? Let me guess. Let me guess. Hmm. I told you. Jesus Christ's superstar. Yeah.

I'm showing at the Hollywood Bowl. Yeah. Did you really go? No. No. No. Jesus is my heart. I don't need to go to the Hollywood Bowl.

What did you see? I went to go see naked gun. was it let me get go ahead well i'm the shirt's great it's fun it's fun you know it's so funny because as a comic that must be hard because it's all jokes well what bums you out is you're like why wouldn't they cast a fucking comedian instead of leam nison because leom nison's playing taken the whole time all right which is okay but like leslie nielsen was so fucking unbelievably funny he was also an actor who i know but leslie was a had his comedic time and was unmatched.

So let's cast it now. Who would you do as a comedian? I just talked about this. I said it would Steve, Steve Martin would have fucking hit an absolute home run. Exactly. A literal home run at that.

Yeah. He also has the white hair. He's got that. It'd been a great, beautiful character comparison because Steve plays the straight guy so well for so many years. Yeah.

And the thing about that character is Leslie played an unbelievably dense straight guy. Like a dumb straight guy, but he sold you on all of it. Yeah. Because it was quick and he threw it away and it was so, I remember watching

the original naked gun and rewatching to catch jokes because I didn't I don't think I missed one joke in this and I'm not saying it was bad

it was just like you know you just have an affinity for that old thing it just felt so different when I saw it for the first time back then the past was airplane

same thing same thing same rhythm I hope they never remake that movie oh they're definitely they're doing it now I'm sure

oh my God but Pam Anderson was fucking great but the tomato meter 91 that's amazing no it's really good It's doing well.

I don't know financially how it did in the theaters this weekend because I don't know how many people are buying tickets but it's important we do as comedians

and we need to support comedies and theaters. They'll do another one. I think they'll do another one. If this hits 60 million, they will. Yeah, they will. It might.

I think it will. Worldwide, yeah. We need that, dude. We need more comedy. Because Mexicans love it too. Hey, bro. Hey, bro. Nick had gone, dog.

Yeah. That OJ joke was good, bro. The OJ, by the OJ joke was good. Yeah, yeah. The OJ joke was good. But they gave away some of their good jokes I will say they gave away a few too many of my of good hitters

In the previews which is fine Yeah But then I saw a couple of previews for movies That I do want to see The I can let me guess The Paul Temas Anderson one Of course Yeah

Yeah it looks so good The Arnovsky one Yeah it looks good It looks good Yeah looks good I'm gonna see it no matter what Based on those posters Let's see what I want to see here

Tron Nah But you know what avatar, fire, and wind or whatever it's called? What's it called? Fire and ash. Ash. Far and wind. Avatar. Far and wind.

I think it said fire, but okay. I thought he said far. Yeah. Look at that wind over there. It's so far. How far is that wind? It's pretty far. But we can get on a blue horse and get there. I don't know what they are.

What are those things? Yeah. Well, I want to see their, they've remade Running Man, which I absolutely. It looks so good. But when James Canberra showed Fire and Ash to his wife, apparently she cried. Really? She said it was a masterpiece.

Okay. And then there's my movies coming out. I didn't see a preview for it yet. What? Now you see me, now you don't. There you go. You're in that. Looks good, though.

Yeah. Yeah, it looks good. Yeah. Yeah. Exciting. Better than Borderlands. Much. But the point is, the point I'm trying to make.

What is the point? This is an open window for us to start trying to make comedies again. I know. We've got to try. We've got to try. We really do. A bad friend's movie. And what is the movie?

Well, can I just say something? I have a new idea. Okay. You know that whites-only town that they made in the Ozark? All right. No, listen. I tried to move there. I know.

So the movie is about you having a whites-only Ozark town. Oh, dude. Just listen. All right. But I open to all-Korean Ozark Town. to you. Right next to you. Right on the border. Right. And for somebody, it's like I broke back mind it. We fall in love. Why is it again? Yeah. It always goes to us. I have to follow with you. I know. Yeah. Yeah. So basically, you know, we, we have a meeting. Right. I go,

this is the boundary. Right. Yeah. But one day you're like doing something in the fields. I'm on the fields and we lock eyes and we go to the boundary and we just start talking. And then we don't know what to do. But there's an invisible fence. We can't go through. Oh, like, okay. Yeah. Like now you see me. Yeah. Oh, you want to put magical element? Yeah. All right.

It's got to be magic. Wait, honestly, that is a good start of like that white's only town. What is it called? Yeah. What's the name of that stupid town? It's only whites only. Yeah. And it's in Arkansas.

They're called Return to the Land. The crew is called the Return to the Land. Something happened for them to drive them out there. You mean they did something? No, they had an interaction somewhere in their life. Yeah. Something happened, you know what I mean? Where, you know, they were like, nah, fuck this.

Well, here you go. Let's see. Inside the whites only town in Arkansas, you don't... Jews, no gays. No blacks, no Jews, no gays, no problem. Pushpaws. But it says no, it doesn't say no Asians. No, they said gays.

No, I see, I see. Start it over. Let me hear it again. Yeah. No blacks, no Jews, no gays. High up in the Ozark Hills in the States of Arkansas, dozens of people have been working hard. Fahz.

Why is it with a British accent? No blacks, no Jews, no gays. Why is it? It's something about it. Okay, go ahead. They're building a new community. It's called Return to the Land. And it is a town open to white people only. They are millennials and Gen Z. And this is a new update of age-old prejudice.

What we've done here is establish a place where we have control over. Even the dog's white. That is just for the sake of, you know, our culture. And that culture effectively, we're saying this is a white culture, a white place. White American culture. But what this sounds like is bringing back segregation. Is that a fair assessment? It's free association.

So we're not trying to keep other people down. This is a small settlement in the middle of the Ozarks. But they are being kept out. Of, well, I mean, you don't want. Let everyone into your home. Around 40 people live here. Hundreds more across the world have paid to be members. And while the men do the physical labor,

the women take care of the children who live here full time. That's right! You're a very loving community, if you're part of the community, but if you're black, if you're Jewish or if you're gay, you can't be part of that community. They can have their own communities, and they already do. You might be wondering how any... Yeah, next to yours, you'll see.

Return to the land is structured as a private members association. which they believe allows them to discriminate on the basis of ethnicity, along with other facts. Hmm. This is the movie, dude. This is a movie. It may well fail. The Arkansas Attorney General has said his office is now reviewing the matter as a result of our reporting, and that there is no room for racial discrimination in Arkansas or anywhere.

Okay. Can I just say this? First of all, there seems to be a little bit of room for discrimination in Arkansas. They've got a plot of land. But here's the most fucked up part about our. all this is this is honestly already a great movie. Like it's already

a movie. You know what it is. This is like white guys instead of white girls and then we just get, they go in like they go in full on white. Like Drewski. Yeah, like go undercover as full white. Hello, I'm Cliff Stevenson. I'm an accountant, but I retired. Have you ever seen like an albino black

guy? Like imagine a vinyl black guy like he's, that's what it is. Yeah. one of the Wayans plays an albino black guy that goes in there and tricks them into thinking that he's white. Yes. Right? Like this guy and he infiltrates, he infiltrates the white. I want to be that guy.

You can't play him. Why? You play his eyes! He could be Asian. Oh, yeah, yeah. You play his Asian buddy. Yeah. I got to be Cliff Stevenson, though.

I'm Cliff Stevenson. Yeah. Dude, I mean, this is such a wild. What were you going to say? This is an interesting world. It's interesting. Yeah. I wonder if you just come.

kind of wandered in. Hey, guys. If you wandered in, no, wouldn't work. But they don't think they would shoot me. They did say no blacks, no Jews, no.

That's what I'm saying. No gays. They didn't say anything about Asians, though. That's what I said, yeah. I mean, why don't, you know. That is interesting. Maybe I'm allowed.

Maybe you are. Yeah. Make my eye. I don't know. You used to do smelling salts before you walk over there. That is interesting. But you know what?

I want to visit. We can buy the other property. around it. See, this is what's really cool. If you really want to be a boss, like if you were a black company, you would buy all the land around it. That would be fucking wild.

You really want to put these guys out? And by the way, you buy all the land around it except for one little strip of road that goes in and out, but you control the road. And then you do a gigantic Travis Scott concert. Right? Free! Imagine on the border just thousands of...

Wait, it's just every single day a new black... black artist is performing every single day yeah yeah that would be amazing by the way every musician would do it for free they'd be like I'll perform there for free that's so it's so good idea yeah and then on the outside of the of the black outside ring yeah an Asian outside ring then a gay ring then a Jew ring oh and you you form a rainbow that's what they always wanted yeah yeah you go you'd see a rainbow maybe right right and their message would finally be clear that We are actually all one. All, yeah.

We're all one. Yeah. We're all just one. But I'm telling you right now, I bet you money you put Michael beat Jeep. Michael Jeep, Jordan. Beep, beep, beep, it's Michael Jeep Jordan. I have a kind of beep, beep, beep. Beep, beep, it's Michael Jeep Jordan.

But I bet you money, you. Dude, can someone at home draw a picture of a Jeep with Michael B. Jordan's head on the front of it? Michael Jeep, George. Michael Jeep Jordan. what if he what okay oh if you tried to get in no but if he just wandered i bet you one of those girls would be like he's so hot he's so hot letting that guy they have to yeah she would sneak into the woods where you going honey i'm just going out to get a goat milk there's goat milk out there or whatever she would no i thought you said adult milk i thought

that was great oh i don't go in there to milk an adult yeah michael jeep jordan Beep, beep, dude, look at that. Keep your shirt on. He's got the top down there. God, is that automatic or stick? Michael Jeep Jordan. He's got a big stick shift. Yeah, yeah.

All right. Broom, broom. I fucked up. Michael Jeep Jordan. I had a slip up. No, it's great. We love a Michael Jeep Jordan. Yeah.

How funny if we get to meet him one day and he's like, what's up, it's Michael Jeep Jordan. Oh, yeah, that'd be great. If Michael B. Jordan or Idris Ilba fucking walked over there with that accent, they'd be like, okay, come on. You know that's going to be it They're going to be like Why it's only

Except for some people that we really admire Yeah Or Tony Thorneberg That's my Asian Tony Thornberg Yeah yeah Who is that Oh wait wait don't be but don't

Oh Oh right Right That's my cross Yeah yeah This is your crush Yeah That's my half Asian crush

Right there Tony Thorneberg Can Tony pee a part of it? Oh yeah Yeah Tony's got to be there Dan So this is it We send in the hottest The hottest minority

Of every race To infiltrate Yeah The all-white land. Exactly. It's a great idea. It's great. See who can break through?

It's basically there's an M-N-N-Chamelon movie. Yeah. And at the end, we reveal that the whites are all aliens. They're all lizards. It's an M-night Shamm-N-N-Ding-Dong movie. Featuring Michael Jeep Chiron. Yeah. I think let's come up with a different switch here.

No, the whites were always minorities. They were, oh, no. Oh, well, that's it. Yeah. We pan out to realize the whole world. is minorities, and the whites are, or, yeah, the whites are actually the minority. Wow, that's it. Right.

They were the only ones. There were the 40 whites left. Left on earth. Right. That's the switch, dude. Right. Wow. That's good.

Where in America is a, this is, that is crazy, though, to think that they, so they can, they can do this because they set up a private institution, right? So then it's like a, it's like saying, I have a club, you can't belong. And then they just say, I'm allowed to accept people that I want in there only, right? Like a, like I can't walk into a VFW, right? I can't, I'm not part of the club. You can? No, I'm just saying I'm agreeing with you.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So then that's how they're getting away with it, right? They're just saying you can't be. But also what fucking black person or gay or Jew wants to live there? They don't want to live there. Yeah. You don't even need to publicize it. Just be like, we're going to the woods.

Yeah. Just go to the fucking woods. Yeah. No one's going, can I go? Like, no black guys is like, dude, I'm trying to get there. It is pretty out there. It's 40. And peaceful.

There's so much land. They could go, people, if they want to move to the sticks, people can move anywhere to the sticks. Yeah, but if I wanted an all Korean community, why can't I have one?

You have one. It's on fucking Wilshire. You've been going down there? Yeah, I know, it is. But I'm just saying, like, if I was like,

you know what, I just want to be around a bunch of Koreans and we live in a community. Why would that be controversial? I know what you're saying and you're right, by the way. No, being real. No, you're being anti-woke and I like it.

No, not being anti-woke. I'm just saying my family. And some dude was like, hey, I don't know you. Can I come? I think you can. It's as if I think what they're, what the, I see what you're saying. What the attorney is saying is that you cannot keep people from coming out there just based on race, greater religion. But that being said, you just own a bunch of land.

Like if you owned 100 acres of land, you could say I'm only letting people in there that I want in there. Yes. The problem is they were too forward. with it. Shut your mouth. Just say, shut the fuck up. Say we're creating a private community

and only we can be in there. Who's weak? Whoever we choose. Yeah. Just be coy about it. Yeah. Or make up a lie. You know,

what's a... We had some really fucked up religion. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Well, they, by the way, something is brewing over there. There's something called. You know, they're starting something.

I know. Right? You know the crux of this that I... It was a dead giveaway that this is like something else. It's a membership. So you have to pay. Yeah. So obviously something is brewing.

Right? I've got the movie, actually. What is it? I have the new switch. So basically, it's kind of hacky, but it's, they're out there, right? And the kids, they have no idea there are blacks or Asians or gays in the world. They get older, right? And then they, and then it's a horror movie for them.

Right? So one kid wanders out, right? I was like, what's up, dog? Reverse get out. It's reverse get out, dude. Get in. Get back in. It's get it. It's get back in. Because once you leave the community, you're lost in the woods.

Yeah. Or some guy, you know, I run into them. They're like, what happened to your eyes? Right. I'm like, what do you mean? Mama. I saw a man who was disabled. His eyes. Something was wrong. He was quick. Yeah. He was quick. And it's very soft skin. From director Michael Jeep Jordan comes a revolutionary film. Get back in. Get back in.

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see dkng.cg.co slash audio talk space you know um we went down and volume did you notice that you know why because we're talking to the fans right now we're talking to the fans who need to talk exactly dude and let me say something okay if you have trauma yeah you i know you do yeah you too yeah bad stuff right you need to do EMDR you need to someone to talk to you know and and talk space is there for you it'll save your life. Well, Talkspace is the number one rated online therapy, bringing you professional support from licensed therapists and psychiatrists that you can access anytime and anywhere. We've always been a big proponent about talking about your problems to other people.

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do it from your car, do it from your rooftop, do it from your friend's house. It doesn't matter where you are. You can do it from anywhere. And it's also backed by science? It's completely backed by science. Talkspace partners with major research institutions to validate their treatment methods, making sure you receive the best care possible from absolutely anywhere. Bobby's been using it for quite a long time. I love it. And I'm proud of you because you're making so much progress both physically and mentally. Let me tell you something. I use it. And I love it. You do really love it. And you're getting somewhere with it, which I think is wonderful, man. Everyone should try it. As a listener of this podcast, you're going to get $80 off your first month with Talkspace.

When you go to Talkspace.com slash bad friends, enter the promo code, space 80. That's Space 80, S-P-A-C-E-80 to match with a licensed therapist today. Go to Talkspace.com slash bad friends and enter promo code Space 80. Yeah, that's interesting, though. It's a fascinating thing to move down to the Ozarks and do that. But if you'd never seen a minority, if I was, you're white, right? Mm-mm. Yeah.

If you're a white, McCone's the whitest. Not according to the other. So, McCone, let's see you grew up. You don't know anything about Asians, blacks, gays, or anything. And then you finally run into one. What do you think your reaction would be? Fear? Curiosity.

That's what I'm saying. I think a lot of people are that. What do you mean? Andres isn't. What? Andres saw a black person for the first time as like a teenager and he like screamed and pointed. Yeah, yeah, of course. Spain.

Spain, yeah. But so you would be curious. Andre's. European versus American thing. But you have never heard of them No one never talked to you about it He's saying if you remove the context of life That you've lived around other races

And people you've never seen it before Or known it before It's like It's like If I go to rural China Today There's no way they've seen a fucking jinge They're all going to be like

Huh They're going to be shocked I don't know about that 100%. 100% When have they seen Maybe I maybe ah Yeah

I think though Even if it's not, even if you like see like, and this might be a weird comparison, but if I were to see like an animal, I don't know I'm gonna like if I see like I don't I've never seen a shrew before like I say you a shrew I'm like I want to co pet it What race of people are you comparing? Yeah, yeah, this is a Are you saying Middle Eastern Peter? Oh what? What are you saying dude? Yeah yeah, yeah, if I see a panda I think yeah I think animal, living creatures

Wait, wait, wait, you wouldn't think if you saw like an Asian person that was a humanoid? There's another humanoid that looks slightly different than me, but not to this guy. There's another animal. I would imagine if you never saw anybody that didn't look like you,

truly, genuinely, right, for the first time. Yeah. Your instinct is threat, for sure. As a human species. I bet you it is. In fact, it for certain is, Because I bet you Shaquille O'Neal, yes.

If I'm around little Asians my whole life and one day I'm just like you know me walking through the forest minding my own business. Gadira, Gadira. I mean he's so big that I would probably go

oh my God like look at that, that's me. That's even Does that Mr. Worldwide? Yeah. Who's Kevin Hart, Shaquille O'Neal. Give me that photo. It's insane.

Look that's that. That's Gabby Douglas and him. Yeah. So imagine that's, I'm Gabby Douglas, that's Shaquille. I would be kind of scared, I thought. Yeah, because you think. It's not the color of a skin, it's the size. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, it's the size.

Yeah, yeah. Yaw Ming, same thing. No, there's Yao with Shaq. Yeah, Yao's bigger. No, but if you saw Yao and he looked like you, would just think it's an inflated version of you. You just think somebody pumped him up all the way. No, I don't, let me think.

If you saw, the point I'm making is. I would think it's like, you know what I mean? Like somebody's on the shoulder. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. There's two kids in there? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But the first time any race ever saw another different race from their people, I'm sure they were freaked out and thought it was a threat, for sure.

But you know what, white people always, white people always, people go, oh, beautiful, white. Like in Africa and stuff, they follow them around. It's an angel, right? But with me, it's like, probably not. Well. What? You're like an angel whose wings have been clipped. Yeah, like that island.

You know that island where that Christian died? Where they went to go try to, yeah. So there's one dude, I think it was Asian even. This is great point that we're bringing up, by the way. Oh, the Sydney, Sweeney, the jeans? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I didn't get it. I don't get it either, but.

People are mad. I know. Because she's saying, you know, the play on words that she has great genes in her gene pool. Why? It's not even her saying it, right? It's the ad company. Well, she says it. But, I mean, she's just reading copy.

Reading the copy. Yeah, we read copy all the time. Yeah. But what is it? McCone knows. He's young. He gets, he's like a eugenics thing. Exactly.

I have blue eyes. She says that, right? Yeah. Eugenics is the idea, and look up the definition, but isn't eugenics the idea that you are, you filter out to make a perfect race? You filter out other kinds of, the study of how to arrange reproduction with human population to increase the occurrence of hair, hair, uh, hair. Heritable characteristics regarded as desirable.

Right, but that's not what she's saying. She's not saying only fuck people that are going to give a perfect... They're playing with the homonym, and people took it. That's hominem. Homonym is because of her genes, genes, because it's the same word, different meaning. But what I'm saying is correct is that eugenics is a completely different ideology than what's being presented.

But I don't even know how the misstep happened. It doesn't even make sense to me. How are these two things intertwined? Because she's beautiful and blonde hair, blue-eyed, so they're going Nazi shit? Dude, come on, that's not Is it tied to, like, because you know, Trump says a lot, you know what I mean, jeans, I like, you have great jeans or, you know, I mean, you have great jeans, not the pants, but like, he does talk. He talks a lot about jeans.

Oh, so they're putting this, they're, they're foisting, I don't know, maybe there was a connection there. They're foisting Trump on fucking Sydney, Sweeney. Let me say this about this. Yeah. First of all, her mom and dad did make a fucking hot kid. Okay. Bingo. Okay.

So she does have pretty good fucking jeans. Yeah. She has good jeans. Good jeans. Our parents? Yeah. Not good jeans. Not good jeans.

I came out fucking orange. Yeah, yeah. He came out that. What? Well. That's insane. Yeah. I mean, if we were doing that, our jeans, what would the jeans look like?

Ripped. To pre-worn. One, just one. Distressed. Just one little side would be there left. You'd be little jean shorts frayed at the bottom. Yeah. I'd be distressed.

I'd be distressed. The lowest quality The denim, dude. The fucking downtown, downtown off the factory. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway. The one where when you wear them

new with shoes, it dyes the shoes blue. That's the genes that we are. Look, I don't understand it. I think it's such a fucking weird thing. She's fine. She'll be fine. I just think it's weird

that they've kind of like put it on her as if she said something controversial. She's fine. She's reading bad copy. Media literacy is dead. Media literacy is dead. Also, she has great fucking, yeah, her genes.

Genealogy is great. She's very good looking. She's symmetrical. She has better genes than me. Same? Yeah. No, not literal genes, though. You have phenomenal denim. No, no, my denim is better. You have some of the best denim in the world. Oh, they're comparing her to Trump. That's what I'm saying. That's what I think that the connection there. Right. Right, right, right, right. He says it a lot. But he also says a lot of things and repeat. Like, billions and billions and billions he says a lot. In two weeks, you know what I mean? Like if they go, where's the health cut in two weeks? Which is so small. Such a good amount of time. Because one is too quick. Yeah, it's so smart in a weird one week means next week, but if you go two weeks. Yeah, people forget in two weeks. 100%.

And if I say, how long were you over there? You go two weeks. Even if it was like a week and a half, two weeks is like, wow, you're there for a long time. Yeah. It's enough of amount of time where it's not threatening, but it also gives you weight to go, what? That was two weeks ago. Is it three weeks better? Three weeks is scary.

Why? Because it's almost a month. It's almost a month. Right. That's too much. Is it too much? A month is a long time. Okay.

The one twelfth of a year. Two weeks then. Think about it, though. Two weeks. Yeah. He's, dude, he's organized speech in a way where he knows exactly how to entice you and then make you forget. He should have been in Now You See Me, Now You Don't.

Yeah. He's so good. He's so good at that. It never happened. Yeah. It's really good. Yeah. Or when he heats on, he just comes up with other things that people focus on.

He's so good at that. Could have been a Fantastic Four then. He's really good at all this. Right. He's good, dude. Yeah. It's like shin limb, but white. He is.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. There. Right? And people go, whoa. Yeah. And then he's gone. He's gone. But you hear him walking.

I do hear him walking. Yeah, you hear him creaking through the hall. And I hear his veins and his ankles, like squishing. I can already hear the young, what are those things that he has there? Gout? He's got something going on with the veins and his ankles. Don't like it. Look at that.

It's all spilling over his shoe. That's so funny. Yeah. Look at that. With bruised hands. Let me say something. I mean, dude, it's just like you have so much money. Just leave.

Well, we'll just retire. Retire. Just get out. Yeah, but he's going to finish being present for sure. Yeah. Zoom into his ankles. Yeah, what is it? Venous.

He has some sort of thing called venous, something, something. What's the disease he has? Baricose veins? No, look, it's a real. Chronic venous insufficiency. That's right. That's a Venus. How serious is Trump's condition.

Yeah. So what? His legs get all fucked up. Yeah. Like blood pools in a certain section of his body. We got exercise, baby. I know. You got to exercise.

Isn't golf exercise? No, you're just walking around. But that's still exercise. No, I disagree. By the way, exercise. Someone hiking the other day, and I don't have the hiking trail about my house. I think it's called Parque Serrado or something. Parque Serrato?

Yeah, yeah. But anyway, what's Parque Serrato? That's what it's called. There was a sign that said that. Serrato means closed? Oh. Park closed. Did you already walk out?

there? No, I did it anyway. Careful. Yeah. Parque Serrano. I did it. You're so dumb. You're one of my favorite people. So, anyway, and I don't want to be mean, and I, me, I don't know. Let me just throw it out there. Say it.

Something happened. Number one, right, this park, this hiking trail goes to the top of this mountain, right? And what I usually do is I turn around back. So I'm just like, because I don't know what's on the other side. You ever done that before? I usually try to finish it, but I see, I map it out first. But when you're on the top of the mountain, you look down, you don't know where it leads. Well, then I'm not doing it. Right.

But this time, I went, you know what? I'm going to go where it leads. Mistake. Where'd you end up? Miles. Miles away. I ended up in a residential area. But you were by yourself?

By myself. Don't do that. I told you not to. Yeah, and that light was going, you know, I mean, right? But thankfully, there was a lime scooter. I lined back to my car. I was going to say, you walked on the. the other side of the hill and you ended up at the whites only Arkansas land.

Yeah, and there was a lady, and I don't want to make fun of her, and I'm not trying to make fun of her. I just was confused by it. There was a lady in the beginning of the trail, like literally right when you start going up, and she was like on a TikTok, and she's like, yeah, and she was a very heavy set. Can I just let me finish it and then we cut it out. Good. All right. And she goes, hey guys, so I'm doing it. Hiking. You know what I mean? Doing the exercise. right and in my heart I was like oh good for you this is great right so I start walking up right at no point when it turned around

the Medevac helicopter comes in so there's two things number one it was for show well no maybe she maybe she's just taking it slow or number two she had already gone to the limit at the start she's like hey I got there they say half of the journey is getting to the gym

Yeah, but I was concerned for her. I was like, oh, where is she? It was out of concern. He wasn't trying to make fun of that story of what I just said. Yeah, it was. No, wasn't. There was a guy that was running on the hike the other day who had on a full sweatsuits, 87 degrees. That blows my mind.

Why do people do this? Yeah. I'm like, dude, you're going to pass out. What? Wrestlers? He's out in high school. This guy was in late 30s. He was like a man who was running on the trail dripping in sweat.

And I was like, such a weird game, dude. Because you're asking for dehydrate. and then overheating. Dude, because I told you this story. My buddy E.P.'s friend, they were hiking and he had to get medevaced out. His lung collapsed. Because he doesn't really hike often,

and he was like, I'll go hike. He smokes weed all fucking. Oh, my God. They had to medevac him out. Oh, my God. His lung collapsed. Yeah, but there are benches. You can just rest.

I'll tell him that. Okay. Yeah, yeah. I mean, the amount of people that I used to, when I used to live by Runyon and I would go hike that every day, yeah. The amount of people I saw get medevaced out of there. It was at least once a month.

Wow. They'd have to bring it. Because someone would get way up on the, on the, you know, on the hard side, on the other side of the park. Yeah. And they'd be stuck and maybe panic or not be able to breathe. Yeah. There's some steep hills. Oh, dude, and it's also.

It's a nightmare. When you do the Hollywood sign, it's like five miles. Yeah, I can't do that. It's high. It's a long way to go. Also, in terms of fashion, can I just trailing fashion? Enough white people wearing the rice paddy hats. Oh, only you can wear it.

I'm just saying they have these gigantic Saigon rice. Okay. well then take off that baseball hat that's ours that's not us that's our go to japan baseball is born in america those are our hats okay take it off if i can wear rice hats all right you can wear rice hats that's my bad dude my bad you can wear the rice hats which race of hats uh can i wear i can i wear a rice paddy hat yeah can i wear but it's like how about this what if i wear one of those like um armor you know what i mean like a knight's helmet that's rad yeah but like would that offend you if i wear a knight's helmet no pretty uncomfortable

I know. Okay, so I can wear that. You can wear the rights patty. Thank you. What's another white thing I could wear? One of those, you know, in London, the big, you know, the black little puffy hat. What? What? The Royal Guard hat. I'm going to wear one of those. Yeah. You're okay with that? I think you should wear that. Okay. Could I wear like an Abe Lincoln top hat? Yeah, you're white.

That's right. Yeah. Don't forget. Yeah. That's what, by the way, although our people in Arkansas should be wearing top hats. Yeah. Right. Just to go. Oh, so take your clothes off. China made those. China made those. Yeah. Take your clothes off China made those.

Yeah. In fact, that's what I want to do. I want to be an Asian inspector over there. By the way, I'm going to look at every made-in-China thing, you know what I mean? And I'm going to take it out of your fucking house. But you're Korean.

If I could lie. They're not going to know the difference. No, I don't. Yeah. I'm telling you. McCone, if you were like never seen an Asian like the premise before, and I told you I was Chinese, you would believe me.

100%. Okay, zoom in. Korean inventions are all the beauty products. By the way, I hear this all the time from, dude, my sister, my wife, every girl in my life goes, Korea, you got to get me beauty shit if you go over there because it's the best in the world. In the world. Beverages of fans. You guys love those little hand fans. Asian ginseng we created.

That's hard to believe. Yeah. Dried food snacks, I believe. You zoom in because my eyes are blur blur. Soju, love soju. Robotics in general, huh? Yeah. Cacao friends.

That's just black friends? Yeah, that's what they call them. Yeah. Kind of friends. The lineup of adorable characters that prominently features a little orange line. See, this is everybody trying to jump on the

like the Laboooooo trend. You know what that is, don't you? Of course I do. I have some. You have a Laboooo? Yeah, I bought some. How much are those? Expensive, the one that I got.

Are they really? Yeah. I don't, I've just seen them. $5,000? Yeah, for that one. And you put it on your fucking, what do you do with it? In a drawer.

It doesn't go anywhere. I have cabbage patch kids. I do. I collect like one of everything. But I see people, girls put this on their purse, right? That's the gig. Yeah. So the purse, some of these purses aren't even $5,000.

And they're putting a $5,000 accessory on the purse. It's a fad, like, beanie babies. One day it's going to go away and no one's going to give a shit. Let me tell you something. My mom fought people to get a cabbage patch kids in the 80, fought people. You know, he'd be right.

She did all that. Shopify. You know what? Andrew, we wouldn't have. of an online business without Shopify. I'll tell you that right now. We've been using them for a long time right now. And cha-ching, cha-ching, Shopify does get it done no matter how big, no matter how small your business is, no matter what you're selling. I don't really care if you're making, you know, bouncy balls made out of old skin like you used to collect. I still make them. Oh, you do.

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Oh, what happened? You fell again. I fell again, but where do I go? Zock doc. You know what it is? What? It's a free app and website where you can search

and compare high quality in network doctors and click to instantly book an appointment, Andrew. Yeah, that sounds, but how many doctors are on there? Like 100? A lot, hundreds of thousands.

More than 100,000 doctors are on there? Yeah, across every specialty. Okay, but here's the other problem. They're probably located nowhere near being. They're always around you. Really? Do they take my insurance?

Yeah, they do. And are they good fed for whatever medical need I might have? What's your foot like? It hurts. Taking care of. From Zokok? Eye pain. Well, do they have patient reviews?

If I go on Zok doctor, do I know if somebody else was on there that went to a doctor? Yes, dude. You read it like you would read like in a restaurant or whatnot. Really? Yes, yes, yes. Okay, well, tell me, there's no way to instantly book an appointment. I mean, is there a way did I get a booking within like, you know? 24 hours, bud, 24 to 72 hours, if you want to know, the specifics.

Really? And you can even score on a same day. appointments, too. No way. Yes, yes. All right, well, I should stop putting off this broken neck and weird floppy foot. Yeah, and eye pain. That's right.

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Sausage wrap, biscuit or English muffin sandwiches, small hot coffee, and more. Limited time only at participating Wendy's taxes extra. 7,200. But here's the joke. It is a fad, but the guy who invented it. You saw that, right? We talked about it on the show maybe. Billion.

He sold his company for like $22 billion. Look up Laboubu owner, $22 billion. He has like a bunch of other companies, but I think he just got priced at $22 billion or something. Labu Buu Wang Ning, hilarious. CEO of Popmar, the owner associated with Vibu Libu Toys, whose company's success has significantly contributed to his estimated net worth of over $22 billion. This motherfucker is selling bullshit. It's not bullshit.

It's bullshit. It is. It's fucking bullshit. But don't you wish you created it? Give me a picture of Wang Ning. He went from 8 billion to 22 billion. So it's all Laboo shit. Give me Wang Ning.

Everybody Wang Ning tonight. It's Wang Ning, idiot. N-I-N-G Wang N-N-N-G There's the wang-dog There's the wang dog I am so rich now God what is he

22 years old He looks like a kid What is he gonna do With the 22 billion Honestly Yeah There is nothing you can do with it Yes you can

No no no I'm serious though I'm serious with this It's so much money He's 38 There's nothing he can do with it It's too much It will never He's got

If he had 8 billion last year He already had everything He ever needed What the fuck he's you're going to do. That's right. I am I'm a little anxious to go home because I'm going to be spending, dude, this is one of those points in my life where I really want to see my parents because I miss them a lot and I don't see them as much and they're getting older, but I'm going to be spending too much time at home. Do you know what I mean? How long? Well, it's a whole week and then

I come back for three days. Then I leave, then I come back for three days. Then I leave and I come back for another week. That's good. I need it. I need it. I need the family thing, but also. Also, I can hardly hear my dad and I fighting. Like, I can already hear it. Like, the last time we got- Step or real? My step-dad, my dad. He's the best.

Yeah, you love him. Yeah. This is my, this is the last time we got into, like, a stupid fight. Like, we'll just start getting into stupid fights because he's retired. He's old. It's his house. He likes his way. We all like things our way.

Ooh, here we go. I want to know. No, no, this is so stupid. This made me laugh. My sister and I were dying laughing because he got so mad. We were going to watch a movie. and my sister went out to go get stoned and oh no edibles that's right she took a bunch of edibles and then she's like uh she goes make us popcorn oh yeah I'll make us popcorn so I got downstairs

I got a bunch of snacks ready and all this stuff yeah and I make the popcorn and I hear my dad go use the popcorn bowls okay since I was a kid they've had the from the fucking 80s or the early 90s they've had these wooden look up wooden popcorn popcorn bowl I mean you it's it's got to be like that's the it's beautiful but no no no no no do from the 90s do 90s do 90s wooden popcorn it's like from that first one let me see the first one zoom in that is got it that is exactly what it is beautiful it's a salad bowl right yes okay so listen we've been using that is exactly what it is we've been using these since i was a fucking kid okay yeah for and my dad it's for popcorn so then i don't know if i'm a little stone or a little buzzed or whatever but i

grab just a different bowl. And I put the popcorn in it. He's like, don't put it in there. That's not the popcorn bowl. But I was like, I already put it in. And he's like, don't, that's not the fucking popcorn bowl. I go, it's a bowl. You put popcorn. Now it is a popcorn bowl. Yeah, yeah. And he's fighting. My sister's

losing her mind laughing. Yeah. And I'm fucking pissed. So I was just like, oh, you want in the fucking, so I dump it in the other one. I was like, well, then you're washing. Wait, wait, wait. Why can't you just use the popcorn? That's what I know. Yeah, use it because you know that he's going to get mad about it. No, no, no.

You only did it for spite. No, no, no. Yeah, you did it. I want to get them rolled up. I grabbed the first bowl that I saw. Do you know where the popcorn bowls are? I don't actually. That is true.

Oh, then that's what you go in and no. No. Yeah, yeah. Tomorrow when you go and no. I don't know where they are. Yeah, yeah. Go, excuse me, where's the popcorn bowls? And so then.

Okay. So then, then he comes out to my house in L.A. Comes out to Dairy's house. Big Andrew's house Yeah And he says Well Why is that there

About something innocuous What was it And I was I don't even remember It was like a macha fucking thing That she uses or something Who's she? My wife Okay

A macho maker, whatever And then he's like Well why is that there And I said When you get your house You can put it wherever the fuck you want But in my house, that's where I like it. And you know what?

He goes, fair enough. And then he walked outside. And I was like, that's right. Dude, what is wrong with you, dude? Just rage, dude. No. Ah, God. Because he's getting older, right?

Then you go, excuse me, I'll put the macha thing in the right macha place. No, it's my house. Okay. But it's probably left just in a random place, right? Have you been to my house? Is anything left in a random place? No, it's very like. Showroomy.

It's exactly what it's supposed to be. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that thing goes there because that's where it goes for us. Yeah. Why is it so clean? Because in case I have people come over. I like to keep a clean place. No, you know why I like to keep a clean place?

Because I earned it. Because I respect the things that took me a long time to get. Yeah. I don't understand the idea of not respecting something you worked hard to receive. Yeah. How about this? I've never had anything given to me. So anything I've got, I respect.

Maybe you should too. Yeah, I respect what I have. have but I kind of like making people think that I'm kind of a hoarder you are kind of a hoarder I am you sent me the video of the two machines talking to each other it made me laugh did you see that the two robots oh it's so good yeah yeah no but you think I was lying you keep a clean place too by the way people at home pretend this game that he plays like I'm this neat freak you're a fucking neat freak your kitchen and shit is all organized everything's organized yeah because of honey Kalala's sister Jules's mom okay so I live I have someone

clean the house too so that's why it's clean get a Filipino live with a Filipino they're the best she does this things with my underwear link right here to get a Filipino she does things with my underwear I don't even know how my underwear are these tiny squares

she folds them in a way they're like a fucking gram cracker she makes she takes all the air out I don't know how she does it it's magic we can cram 300 of them in a tiny drawer like this perfectly placed Wait, she does your laundry? Oh, my gosh, she does everything.

Oh, see, yeah, I can't have... She does everything. I can't have someone do my laundry. That's creepy to me. I just don't know where things are. That's the only problem. You know, where's the paprika? And that's why you occasionally use the wrong popcorn bowl.

Because you don't know where they are. Oh, that's right. That's right. But that is my dad. We're going to get into stupid small fights. Small fights. We'll get into small fights all the time. Look, I'll stay up one night too late,

burning a bonfire in the backyard with my sister. 100%. Not cool, dude. No? No. What's wrong with? A bonfires are fucking Midwest. You start it at night, take it out. What does that mean?

Put it out, dude. Oh, I do put it out. No, I'm saying. He'll come down, you didn't even hear me out. Oh, sorry. I know. That's right. I didn't.

I'm sorry, my bad. He'll come down the next morning and be like, you use so much fucking wood. And I'm like, what the fuck? Yeah, we were burning fire all night long. Yeah. He'll go, well, now I got to get a whole new bushel. And I'm like, well, I'll get you one. He doesn't get them.

They get fucking delivered. Yeah. Dude, it's always the thing. Where do you get bushels? Home Depot? Yeah, home depot. Yeah, but they'll deliver them to your house. Yeah. Yeah. You know what I, so, um, what do you know what I realized? I don't know if I said this, but not. But my air conditioning and my heater, all, all winter, the heater didn't work. And you don't call. You just freeze. You don't call, but freeze. You call. No, I freeze. Call. It was like so cold. But he had 15 layers of blankets. Shivering. Yeah, shivering. And then for the summer, right? Um, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, this is the 50 degrees, nothing would come out.

So one day I, I, I finally called. Yeah, that's time. Guy comes over. He goes, bro, look, and he, this. He had blue chew. No, no. This is the color of the filter. Oh, my God.

I didn't know you had to switch out the filter. God, dude. Do you know, you just, you just have to switch it out and then now everything works perfectly. Have you ever changed the filter of your water system at the house? No. That's insane. But I don't drink. that kind of water. You drink tap water?

I call it Aaron Brockovich water. I don't drink it. Really? I don't want to get a... Polluted? Yeah, yeah. I drink tap water. Bottled water. Every time. That's insane. Why? That's a waste. Drink out of the tap. The tap water in L.A. is great. I don't know. We have some of the best tap water in the country. It's actually underrated.

Our water is tested about 300 locations on the sea for 200 different different. Water delivered to you meats or excel state and federal drinking water standards. L.A. water is better than most states get water. But is it better than bottle water? Yeah, actually, probably because of the fucking, this is microplastics and all the bullshit that's in here. This is terrible for you. Yep.

What about glass? Glass is king. Not anymore. They just did a bunch of new testing to find out that glass also has fucked up shit in it now. So we can't win. So you know what you do? You don't drink water. We're not, that's it.

At bad friends, we don't drink water. Yeah. No more. Did we already talk about the hurtling spacecraft coming towards us? We did last time, right? No. What are you talking about? Oh, it's coming in December.

Yeah. It's coming. We got something coming to kill us? No, so a Harvard scientist. Don't believe him already. Harvard. Don't believe him. Okay.

A Harvard scientist discovered something. He doesn't think it's a comet because there's no trail, I don't think. A Harvard scientist and professor Avi Loeb. Avi Loeb has suggested using the existed NASA Juno spacecraft to intercept and study interstellar object 3i Atlas, which he, he, he, What? Pissus could be alien technology, not just a natural common. His proposal stems from his research for similar objects like Amomara. Yeah, that was in 2017.

Amomamal. I remember Omamara. So what was that? It's hiding behind the sun. Were he parallel? No, why are you laughing? That's true. The trajectory is behind the sun, so we can't see it.

But we go around the sun. You go around it, not me. Okay. I stay right behind it. He is right. Bobby stays right behind the sun. I stay right behind the sun. Okay.

So, yeah, it's coming. And, um... That's so funny. It's four miles wide or seven miles wild. Something like that. Whoa. It's huge. Big.

And, um... Where do we hope it hits? It's not getting trapped in any, uh, planet's gravity as it goes through the Milky Way. It's just slowly coming by us. And it'll hit us around December. We'll be able to see it. Do they think they know where it's going to hit? No, it's just going to go.

right through the Milky Way, but it's going to pass Earth in December. It's not going to hit us. No, no, no. It's going to visit. It's going to, it's not a comet, dude. I hope it hits him. It's a, it's not a hit situation, guy. What if it's a box? It's a slow down situation. It's like, what's up, dog situation, dude.

So you think this is them saying what's up dog? Yes, dude. And, you know, we watched signs last night, me and this is someone I was seeing. And, you know, there's two types of people in the world, dude. What are they? The type that sees stars in the light You got it They're two types of you

They see aliens spacecraft In the skyline And they believe they have hope Swing away Right And the second one are naysayers That 50-50 And deep down

They're instilled with fear And I'm hope I'm number one What was it that killed the aliens? Water? Yeah And guess what we just said Don't drink water

Wow we're the real aliens you don't believe this is true of course what do you mean I think there's a thing I don't think it's fucking alien life form I think they're so fast they'd be here by now

and see how big is it's like four miles or seven miles or something like maybe seven miles is so big it's between one and 20 kilometers so they don't even know that's six miles yeah

it's big most recent observation size closer to six miles six miles long it's so long it's so long it's big But that's got to be all the guys are on there, then their whole... Yeah, everyone's on there.

Yeah, all the homies are on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Imagine if they left some guys off. Where are you guys going? Yeah. Past Earth. Can I go? But if they go.

I don't know, there's enough room. He said it was six miles long. I don't know if we have the room. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Just one guy that can't stand. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, Marcus, Marcus. Yeah.

I heard you guys are going to take off tomorrow. Yeah. Yeah. Is there any room on the craft? Well, um, no. there's not enough room. Really? Yeah, there's 20 of us.

It's pretty cozy in there. I heard it was six miles long. Yeah, but you know what? The living space is, you know, the size of this room. Oh, I understand. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I understand.

Bye. Bye. By the way, they take off. They're like, thank God we left that fucking guy. I can't stand that fucking guy. But what would happen if they go, Andrew Bobby, big fan of bad friends. God, dude.

I hope they are. But they go, we want to start a podcast in our civilization. Will you come? Great. Would you come? We got a guest on their podcast. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I have 4.5 million followers in our version of Instagram. Yeah. Ladies and gentlemen, would you go, though? Our guest today say whatever they want, totally unfiltered. We love these guys. By the way, you know what's so funny is I bet you if any sort of communication is getting through the airwaves into outer space, it's probably podcast because there's so many of them that are being shot out into the fucking world.

This is probably what they're hearing. And what a bummer. What a bummer that this is what they think of us. And there's probably 20 million years from now, no? It doesn't get there right away. It takes time. Yeah, it takes a long time. Not 20 million years, but a long time.

Well, I mean, they're going to be millions of light years away. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Depends on how far away they are. Yeah. But we'd be long dead by then. But notorious in a universal scale. Depends on if we hop on that craft. How we go.

That Bobby Andrew, we came just for you to. You can't bring any of the bad friends. What if they said It could just be you and me No one we love, no one we know But we can never come back to Earth Never No family, no friends, no nobody

You wouldn't go I know you wouldn't go Yeah No, you would not go You'd be so scared I would go I would go I would go just to protect you

What a story They'd write books about us They'd write movies about us It'd be our real legacy We wouldn't just be known as bad friends We'd be known as the two guys That went to space On the seven mile craft

And never came back Wow We'd be embedded You know who'd be teaching about us In the future fifth grade teachers Yeah What's there though

It would depend on what's there Doesn't matter Let's find out No no I have to know I don't have a list We get up on the craft right away It's anal probes We're like what

I thought that was a bit No we really like to do this Yeah Yeah It would have to be Well there'd be Have to have to have human women there My dad just called me

Hold on Hey we're doing the podcast Right now What's up? I'm just calling to check on you and find out when you're coming to town. Is it Jeff? Yeah. Say hi to.

Jeff, it's Bob. Hey, how are you? What's up with the popcorn bowls? The popcorn bowls. Well, they're special for popcorn only. But why do you get so mad about it, Jeff? Well, because we have things in the house that are to be used for certain things. and Andrew was, you know, being typical Andrew, being against the grain and picking another bowl.

Right. Against the grain. Against the grain. All right, babe. All right. See you, Bobby. Take care. All right.

Bye, Jeff. I love you. I'll see you. I'll talk to you tomorrow. Bye, babe. Okay. All right, bye. He's so funny.

So we get a lot of submissions for different things, but we always get way more submissions after episodes air with the minutes. These are all late submissions, but this is Carlos Replacement, Fancy. Okay, let's see some of them. Yeah, we do want to see some of these. Energy replacements. This is Charity. What a bad friend's gang. My name is Charity.

I am 25, and I'm from Gaston, Oregon. Gaston's like a 15-second town. If he blinked, you probably already drove past it. We got like two bars, no gas stations, about a dozen crackheads out of a total population of 16. So that's where I'm from. Yeah, I'm a bit of a rarity out in these parts. You've probably never seen a Samoan girl.

under 6-2-270, so I at least got that going for me. It's funny. Good. I currently work in corporate finance and administrative assistance, and I'm working to get certified as an independent travel booking agent on the side. So, yeah, I kind of got the hustle going, try to get out of this crapshoot town. Pause. We've got to get her out.

All I'm going to say, don't get upset. Okay. This is a perfect, and I mean perfect replacement for your assistant. Yes. Literally. Yeah. She does all the things. Yeah.

Also, all the travel booking. That's what I'm fucking saying. But. Hey. But my assistant's camping. Okay. Is never not camping. Okay.

This girl probably doesn't like camping. She's great. She's awesome. We love her. Got two good ones so far. Back to back. Deshawn. Hey.

Yeah. The way you said that. DeShan. Just say Deshawn Yeah not Dishon Go ahead What's going on This is the submission

For the replacement in the booth challenge Or whatever you guys are doing over there Love this guy Oh really Now I heard you guys were looking to replace someone But one thing I did hear you guys say was You got a bunch of nines

Why have a nine When you can settle for an 11 Also You said you need some women to submit I guarantee You have women He thinks he's Michael Beep Jordan He's got

But he's not He's not Michael Beep Jordan Michael Jeep Yeah or Jeep I fucked that up What? It made me laugh Because you went beep beep beep You know what it is He thinks he's Michael Jeep Jordan

He's Michael Beep Jordan Yeah yeah yeah Okay they're good Good good I guarantee you He does think Yeah He seems like a nice guy

Yeah we like him A little aggressive He's at 11 though I don't know why he says 11. I don't know what that means. Maybe it means he can go up to 11. You have women in that building, but you know what you don't have?

It's n-giv. Give a shot. How come we still not getting shot? Nobody want to give us a chance. Pause this. He has a point. He has a point. First of all.

Deshawn. Yeah. I do understand what he's saying. I do it 100%. Perhaps we should have some more color in the booth. Diversity. I think we need a color commentator. Yeah.

and that's not that's a he would be funny he would yeah yeah he would yeah but he also can we do guest we could try guests we could try we also have people uh zoom in or face him if we want face-to-face interactions yeah maybe we zoom first yeah i think that's probably a better move yeah yeah this is curissa tea love love it yeah yeah she's pretty Hey, Andrew, hey Bobby. Let me get this out of the way right now. The reason why I said Andrew instead of Bobby first is because his name starts with a name

and Bobby starts with a B. So now that I got that out of the way, I just saw today's episode where you guys were asking for a replacement for Fancy B. since he's living for a few months. I would like to say that Andrew said that we have to be from Spain, which I'm not. But I am Spanish, as you can clearly tell for my accent.

And I'm not from the area, but it's really easy for me to make it there. If you, if I get the, if I get paid, just let me know and I'm going to be there as soon as I can. Thank you. Pauses. It's, yeah. Shut it down. We've got the guy.

It's love at first sight. Shut it down. It's love at first sight, dude. The guy. That's the guy, dude. Find him? Find him. We've got the guy.

We got the guy. He's fucking perfect. He's perfect. He's a upgraded version of what we have. Amazing. Yeah. Now, we're also going to find out for certain that this young man absolutely lives somewhere we cannot access. Yeah.

He said he can drive and look at the, let's just investigating. Can you zoom in at the greenery in the back? I'm really good at like, uh. Yeah, Bobby's good to figure. You know, like geomapping? He's so good at it. Yeah, it's so good at it. Zoom in.

All right. You know that kind of foliage? Does that recognize at all? That's North Carolina. North Carolina. Northern California. Northern California. Yeah, yeah.

Even better. It's a truck right here that looks like. Yeah. I can't see it. It's blurry. You know what? You know what's behind that truck is a Michael Jeep Jordan is right behind me.

I got to tell you, I love this guy. Love him. I'm into this guy. Let's find out. Let's try to get him, though. I think he said he wants to be paid. Which is fine. We'll pay him.

If I get picked. Oh, but we will pay him. We'll pay him for the day's work. You know what I'm willing to pay? Out of my own pocket. 300 bucks. I'll match it. Really?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It just depends on where... 600 depends on where he's coming from, too. Let's be real. Let's send him a message. All right.

Well, listen, we're excited for the future. We're happy for the prospects. Thank you guys for submitting. We'll get to some more submittals later. But cruso-tome... What? Cariso-Tomoa. Honestly, whatever it is, dog.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll come up with a nickname. Yeah, we will. Yeah, yeah. We'll see you soon. We'll see you soon. And also, thank you for being a bad friend. Yeah, whoo, yeah.

Woo. Woo. Woo. Yeah. Woo. Yeah. Woo. Woo.

Yeah. Yeah.