Bad Friends - More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy

Starting point is 00:00:00 You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots? Who are you? White dude and Asian dude. Who are you? You two are disgusting. Who are you? Oh, you two are something.

Starting point is 00:00:10 We're bad friends. I forgot that part. And then? Did it start? Yes. This sucks already. I forgot that part. Shine, shine, shine, dine. Did it start? Yes. This sucks already. It's way too loud in my headphones. I don't know who your last psychotic guest was, but.

Starting point is 00:00:34 Yeah, yeah. Don't take shots at previous guests. Oh, sorry. Was it Hilary Duff? It was. Yeah, yeah, it was Hilary Duff. The Duffster. The Duffster did.

Starting point is 00:00:41 You don't like me. Yeah. It happened. What is your name? Lisa Gilroy clapper and Clap the hands of the Lisa What you're so talented? I am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am Okay. Good word. Did I get that word wrong? No, you got it right, it was beautiful. Okay. I can't believe you make your guest sit in this chair full of farts. Jack Blank, was it Black sat on that?

Starting point is 00:01:08 Did you fill it up with farts? We did. Jack Black. Yeah, Jack Black farts. With our magical farts. Does it get refilled all the time? Cause it's pretty firm. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:01:16 Never been refilled. We filled it up one time. Really? Yeah. Isn't that comfortable? It's okay. I had a chair like this in my room when I was a little girl.

Starting point is 00:01:24 When I was a little girl. And now you're a big girl. Now I'm actually pretty big. Oh, I like that character You make up a character on the spot. Is that how talented you are? Sure, give me a suggestion. A baker in the 1950s Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,, call Pixar. Yeah. Do you have, what? Give me a character. Can you call Pixar? Pixar? Yeah, I can call Pixar.

Starting point is 00:01:50 Really? I'll give you a character. Yeah. One of the cars from Cars, but it's broken and it's a bus, but it's a little tiny bus that only a shrimp can see. Okay, all right. Santino, this one's for Bobby. Hey, Santino, look at me.

Starting point is 00:02:06 You can have a turn next. Oh, okay. Brrrr. Brrrr. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha.

Starting point is 00:02:13 Awesome. Hey, Shrimp. Let's go now. That's really good. Pretty good? Yeah. Give Andrew one. He's so good at this.

Starting point is 00:02:21 Okay. Yours is, okay, okay, okay. Okay, a guy who's like middle-aged, who's a podcaster who lives in LA. Okay. Hey, what's up? Yeah. Back to the show.

Starting point is 00:02:34 Yeah, it's so good. Awesome. Hey, hey. I thought he was tongued up. Yeah, yeah. I'm the sidekick. Can I add onto it or not? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:02:44 I'm so sorry. No, no, no, go ahead. No, that's funny. Okay, if you do that character, you do the character that's like the sidekick of the podcaster. Okay, go ahead. And let's say, wait, wait, wait,

Starting point is 00:02:52 I'll give you more like character stuff to color it out. So like, let's say you're kind of mean and you're kind of stupid. Okay, go. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Welcome back to our show, idiot guest.

Starting point is 00:03:03 Yeah. We had a guest? Yeah, perfect. Perfect, right? That's so awkward. He's confused. He didn't even know that there was a guest. Yeah, I got that.

Starting point is 00:03:13 I thought you did it really good. Oh, go on, but please. Lisa, what company are you in again? Yeah. What are you talking about? What improv group are you in? Oh, I guess just right now I do Ascat and Dinosaur. Ascat and Dinosaur, both UCB?

Starting point is 00:03:27 Are those not the two most embarrassing names of things you've ever heard? Yeah. I just heard them for the first time as I was saying. Who's in Dinosaur? Paul Scheer, Rob Hubel, Rob Jason Manzoukis. Stop, enough said. Sorry.

Starting point is 00:03:36 Enough said. What do you like them? What am I like them? Do you like them? Yeah, I love them. Jason Manzoukis? Jason Manzoukis, yeah. So talented.

Starting point is 00:03:43 Can I tell you? Is this UCB, am I wrong? It is UCB. Uh, it's no, our show is monthly at the Largo. Largo. Can I tell you a compliment about Jason Manzoukis? Sure. I was on a sitcom called Animal Practice.

Starting point is 00:03:55 It's so good, have you seen it? Shut the fuck up! Why do I, do I bring up mixology? I wish you would, it was my favorite show that I ever did. Yeah. So there's- There he is. It was a sitcom on NBC called and then my star was the monkey. He's on the right What what the same monkey from friends it is exactly yeah Yeah, and so look at the poster right? Whoa. Whoa. Whoa Tyler. LeBine

Starting point is 00:04:21 Betsy sodaro. Oh, I love Betsy. Yeah, she's great. Who's the girl on the front left? Tyla Labine, he just said. Yeah. Tyra Labine? Tyra Labine. I actually love Tyra. So the show got canceled and it was the day. Duh, can I get a duh? Duh.

Starting point is 00:04:38 Can I get a wolf? I don't know, I was thinking because it's animal practice. And I was going to Seth Meyers birthday party. Name drop. You know who produced it? The Russo Brothers. Joe and Anthony Russo.

Starting point is 00:04:53 Joe, welcome to the Russo Brothers pizza place. This is a TV show. What? They did Captain America Civil War, right? End game. All those ones Fuck you, what have you done a movie that you can't even get off the ground Right that we're not gonna fucking do we're gonna do it. You're all talk

Starting point is 00:05:18 You wrote a movie for the gang to star in it's a zombie movie yet He had funding so we're all gonna fly out not you but I was gonna fly out to Spain I wasn't gonna do it right and then last minute. He's like I lost I lost funding I'm like no shit Bobby. Why didn't you just fund it? I don't believe in the project I don't I don't believe in the project little Roy. Why are you gonna start in it then anyway? Can I finish this thing I was going to the Seth's yes you have a compliment. Right, and then so I was walking down Sunset from the store and then behind me, Jason Mendoza just walked by me.

Starting point is 00:05:51 Then he looked at me and he paused. He gave me a side hug and he goes, I'm so sorry about your show. And I go, I didn't know him that well. And I thought, what a nice guy. You know what I mean? To be there for me in that moment. What are you thinking?

Starting point is 00:06:09 I was thinking, well, maybe he didn't know. Well, I was thinking I- He meant, I'm sorry that you're on the show. He said, I'm sorry about your show. That's nice. That it got canceled. No, he didn't know it got canceled. He was saying, I'm sorry that you're on that show.

Starting point is 00:06:25 You think that's what it was? That's what I think he was saying. He saw a trailer, was like, fuck dog, I'm sorry you're on that show. And are you guys feeling the puns that are flying around in the air? No, I don't know pun me. You said he paused and said, sorry about your show.

Starting point is 00:06:40 And then you said he paused and said, sorry dog, that your show got canceled. Yeah, we get it. We're seeing so many animal things. It's kind of like the camera's training is electric. Are you guys feeling that? Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:06:52 We're having so much fun already. I've never seen your ankles before. Well, you still have it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm wearing red socks. Do you see them on the camera? Yeah, a little bit. What is a body part that you don't like about yourself?

Starting point is 00:07:02 Belly button, too deep. Too deep, yeah, mine's deep. Way too deep, I could get lost in there. Mine's so deep it goes out the back. Wow. And it's giving me slight epiphyta. Wow. Wow.

Starting point is 00:07:13 It's very deep. What about you? What's a body part you don't like? Can I tell you, I have a story about my belly button. You can't take the one that you just said that's in pot? No, it's just a story. It has nothing to do with that. I don't like my belly button.

Starting point is 00:07:22 Oh. Yeah, yeah. Something that happened. So I literally for 20. I don't like my belly button. Oh. Yeah, yeah. Something that happened. So I literally for 20 years never cleaned it. My belly button. Thanks for coming by, Lisa. And I was with a girl who was so embarrassing, we're in bed, and she goes,

Starting point is 00:07:36 why is your belly button black? I go, what do you mean? She goes, I mean, when I look at it, it's just like a black dot. Well. I go, I've never looked in it. And she goes, I mean when I look at it, it's just like a black dot. I go, I've never looked in it. And she's like, is it dirty? So I stuck my finger in it and I did a scoop.

Starting point is 00:07:50 It was like a scoop of soil. Ew. It was so embarrassing. And she was like, I'm gonna go home or something like that. She went home. Imagine if you just grew something in there, it would be so cute. Yeah, what?

Starting point is 00:08:00 Plant a little seed. Like a tomato. A flower. A tomato plant? Yeah, anyway, and now I clean it religiously. So is dirt in there from you were flopping around in the mud? No, it's a 20 years of not cleaning it.

Starting point is 00:08:12 Yeah, but what would get in there? What dirt has access to your belly? You're telling me you're not rolling down a hill sometimes? You're just rolling down a hill. You know a frolic lady? I do, but I usually have a t-shirt on. Okay, well I do it with shirtless. Yeah, shirtless.

Starting point is 00:08:22 And you got dirt and debris in there. Yeah, is there a body part you don't like about yourself? I asked you first, but yeah. Oh, I do it shirtless. Yeah, shirtless. And you got dirt and debris in there. Is there a body part you don't like about yourself? I asked you first, but yeah. Oh, I'll tell you mine. What is it? My testicles. And I'll tell you why. Thanks, bye Lisa.

Starting point is 00:08:34 It's the wrong color. It? Oh no, Fabio, no. No, no, no, they get lonely, so they morphed into one. They've joined each other. You remember the term two peas in a pod? That's what my nuts do. And the pod is the dick and the balls are inside?

Starting point is 00:08:48 You got it. No. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm scared for you. Yeah, anyway, it's the color of- You need to go to animal hospital. Animal practice. Animal practice.

Starting point is 00:08:58 Sorry, I'm the fucking idiot. Yeah, yeah, would have been a great call back though. Yeah, thanks. I'll try again later. Yeah, yeah, try to use another animal practice reference. But my point is that it's too dark of a purple. You've seen it. I have.

Starting point is 00:09:11 It's way too dark. No, it's very dark. I'm thinking about going and getting bleached. No, leave it as it is. No, no, I had to bleach them. I think the purple color's probably coming from blood inside your body, which is normal, right? No, it's actually not.

Starting point is 00:09:21 It's not normal. Your testicles should not be a dramatically different color. Like curdled blood, it shouldn't look like that. You know if you squeeze your fingertip and it turns purple? Yeah. Is it like that? Exactly. Bingo.

Starting point is 00:09:35 And there's a ring, a purple ring around the actual shaft, which I'm worried about. Let's move on. That's ringworm, bro. You gotta get to animal hospital. Practice. Oh, fuck. Who fucking cares about that show?

Starting point is 00:09:46 I know, I know, exactly. Have you been on a sitcom? No, Touche. You're on a show right now. It's not a sitcom, but you're on a television show. I am? What's the show called? You are, what the fuck, you're on Interior Chinatown.

Starting point is 00:10:00 Oh yeah, but that's not right now. I mean, that's on the- Yeah, you're on that show. You're a series regular. So when you're streaming, you're just on something forever. So if Jennifer Aniston was here, you'd be like, you're on a show right now, right? Friends.

Starting point is 00:10:12 No, no, she's on a show. She actually is on a show right now. It's on Apple. Yeah, but- What are you talking about? What are you talking about? Well, if you're on a show, you're on a show. Is this show on?

Starting point is 00:10:21 So you've been on a show before. Yeah. Is this show on the air right now? It's on Hulu, which means it's gonna be there for a long time. That's right, so you're on the show. Until they take it down, you're on a show, is this show on? So you've been on a show before. Yeah. Is this show on the air right now? It's on Hulu, which means it's gonna be there for a long time. That's right, so you're on the show. Until they take it down, you're on the show. Oh, okay, I didn't know. They told me I was off the show.

Starting point is 00:10:31 Oh, you got kicked off? Yeah. No, be real, is that really? Yeah, well, I think it's done. I think it's a limited series, so it's over. I thought. It's like you got fired, it's just the whole show's done. Feels like I got fired, dude.

Starting point is 00:10:42 Well, yeah, if you don't have a job, it does feel like you got fired. In our animated show, she should do a voice. We already talked about it. Okay. You're having an animated show? None of your business. Please.

Starting point is 00:10:51 All right, you're in. Or should I say please? Or should I say please? Please. Please. Wow. Not the last one. Not the last one.

Starting point is 00:10:59 You want the last one? Oh, I love that one. Okay. That's a really good one. Yeah, what character can that be? She's a lady who is No carrier a male carrier. Thank you. Why did you do stand-up? Sometimes a little okay. Do you go on the road ever? I've been on the road before yeah

Starting point is 00:11:16 Yeah, as a headline or a feature No, I'm just kidding. I was saying like I've been on the road like I in a car. Yeah No, I don't like tour doing stand up. I just do sometimes stand up around here in the little different theaters like UCB and Largo and Dynasty and stuff. But if we had a show hypothetically. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:11:33 And he goes, hey Lisa, do you wanna do 15 minutes? Could you do it? Yeah, I could do it. Okay, that'd be fun. Yeah, she could. Yeah, she could. Gonna do it in this voice. Please. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:11:43 I wanna do Love is Blind with your audience. And I wanna do it in this voice. And I wanna be in a garbage bag the whole time with a microphone. Yeah. Have you always been like this as a kid even? No, as a kid I was an accountant. I was very serious.

Starting point is 00:11:57 When did this blossom? Aw, that's such a sweet little thing to say. When did what blossom? My- The show, the TV show Blossom, when was that on the air? That was such an impact on me. I collected hats like how she had those hats. She was so rad.

Starting point is 00:12:11 She was so cool. I remember thinking about it, I was like, that girl's like the coolest chick on TV. Yeah. What's her name again? Blossom. Thank you. When did your comedy instinct kick in?

Starting point is 00:12:22 I guess- Mayim Bialik. Yeah, Mayim Bialik. Isn't she a fucking, isn't she like a NASA level genius? Yes. Isn't it so cool that- It's pronounced NASA by the way. NASA, NASA level genius?

Starting point is 00:12:34 Yeah. Yeah. She really is, she's a neuroscientist. She's a STEM advocate. Wow. Can you believe that? You know what's so funny? We don't even know what that means. STEM, science, technology, engineering, and math.

Starting point is 00:12:44 Jinx, one, two, three, four, five, seven, eight, nine, ten, you, I'm gonna go. 10, 11, 12, technology, engineering, and math. Jinx, one, two, three, four, five, seven, nine, ten, you, I'm, go. Ten, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15. Your sister's gonna die in a crash. Fuck. Let me call my sister real fast. Lisa. Sorry.

Starting point is 00:12:55 I guess it's just always been there, your comedy instinct. When did your comedy instinct arrive? Yeah, fuck you. Well, I wanna know. Yeah, I'm part of your fucking arrogant way about things that you do. Really? Bobby.

Starting point is 00:13:09 Why? Why? I'm sorry, I haven't. Be careful driving the road tonight, I love you. See, that's interesting because you technically won the Jinx battle, but because I said something bad, you thought you lost it. When you go to 15 and does jinx,

Starting point is 00:13:20 you're next to kin sibling. That is what happens when you go to 15. I don't know, Canada might be different than the States, but here it is if you go to 15. Oh, Canada, I for remember. Yeah, you have to remember. That's where you're from. Oh Canada.

Starting point is 00:13:33 Three. My old and stateful land. Your people are weak. Hey. Hey, hey, hey. I'm kidding, that was right, I made that up. We love Canadians. They're the best.

Starting point is 00:13:44 They just beat us in hockey. Yeah. What a game, did you watch that? Do you, that was right, I made that up. We love Canadians. They're the best. They just beat us in hockey. Yeah. What a game, did you watch that? Do you care? Four nations? Four nations was tight. Toronto or Vancouver? Are those my options from where I get to be from? No, where are you from?

Starting point is 00:13:53 I'm from Edmonton, Alberta. Edmonton, we were talking about that earlier. We did. Yeah, are your parents oil people? Shh, shh, shh, shh. Don't bring it up. We're not allowed to. My dad is an oil monster.

Starting point is 00:14:04 I'm just a big part of it. Alisha, when are you gonna come back and visit me? Exactly. La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la. I'm slamming the door, dad, I'm locking it. He just goes, bleh, bleh, bleh, bleh. I'm on the door. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow.

Starting point is 00:14:16 How's that, Larry? Exactly. Sounds mean, but he's very nice. Very good oil monster. Dad, it's an oil monster. You're the best at that. Thank you. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:14:24 I'm not allowed to ask these questions? What the fuck? I didn't say you weren't. Fuck off. Oh, that's Canadian. See? Yeah, that was Canadian. That's Canadian.

Starting point is 00:14:32 And you're wearing a tuque as well, which is very- Did you start your career in Canada or here, LA? Love the word tuque. Tuque is an infinitely better word than beanie. Tuque. Tuque. That's what I use it. That's your cousin.

Starting point is 00:14:42 Yeah, you fuck a tuque motherfucker. Do you have a different word for balaclavas? Baklava. Love, very good. You like that? Yeah. Yeah. It's a Greek dessert.

Starting point is 00:14:51 Anyway. And we're back to Manzoukas. Yeah, right back to it. Yeah, so did you start there or did you start in LA? Started in Edmonton, I was doing improv there. And I was a drama teacher. Where'd you meet your husband? In Edmonton. In Edmonton.

Starting point is 00:15:08 So you guys moved out here together? Yeah. Children? No. Okay. Except for these two. Pick me home mommy. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:15:17 Do you want them? I actually feel a little like, yeah you guys are two little rascals. It's like I've spent time with each of you individually and now you're together and you might gang up on me. But I don't sense it happening. I think I could kind of create a wedge in between. Can I say something?

Starting point is 00:15:28 I think we've created such a nice environment for you to come to do that. Not only that, and I find it to be rude. Haven't we? Lisa Gilroy, I find that sentiment to be rude. Thank you. And I want to tell you, because it's something you said the last time.

Starting point is 00:15:38 Bobby, let's gang up on her right now. Yeah, yeah, I want to gang up. Wait, the last time that you said to me, you go, I thought you were going to be crazy, but you're like super nice and sweet And it's a thing that you assume that rattles my mind Yeah, I know she said that about you both of us she said she goes. I thought you were gonna be mean Yeah, yeah, we're not mean we're nice. Okay, fucking nice. Yeah, you took Hell yeah, yeah, Yeah, you toque! Hell yeah. Yeah, dude. You toque motherfucker.

Starting point is 00:16:07 Well now me and Megan are gonna gang up on you guys, right Megan? She's so skinny, she's invisible, but she's hot as hell, and she's a neuroscientist. Wow. And Megan and I are sisters, and she... Oh, what? Girl, you're crazy! What did she say? What did she say? She said she has a crush on one of you, and she's did she say? What did she say?

Starting point is 00:16:25 She said she has a crush on one of you and she's not gonna say who. Oh, I already know who it is. And that's your way of saying that he's handsome. If it's Carlos, I'm gonna be fucking pissed off. Fuck you, kook you. Megan told me not, I don't wanna, I don't wanna cause any problems.

Starting point is 00:16:37 But she has an Asian finish. You think she has an Asian finish, your imaginary friend? Let me ask her. You can't say that oh Shit, and you shouldn't say that you should not yet Megan Anyway, let's play a game Shut up weird eyes. That's what you said about me Move on that's actually exactly what you said I know

Starting point is 00:17:00 Do you guys have some sort of horn sound or something you can play? Oh, we could do it ourselves We do them all the time ready. Yeah, which one do you like? I'll go first go That's right welcome everyone to the friendship Championships yeah have Bobby Lee and Andrew Santino and we are gonna absolutely test them on years of friendship now I've spoken to the boys ahead of time and I've gotten their answers to these questions. It's a bit of a newlywed game, all right? First question is for you, Bobby. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:17:31 Andrew once described your head as looking like what? A, a dead kid's head. Yeah. B, a toilet covered in piss. Yeah. Or C, a lemon head. Lemon head. Your whole head. Your in piss. Yeah. Or C. A lemon head. Lemon head. Your whole head?

Starting point is 00:17:47 Your whole head. Yeah. Looks like, you know the lemon head guy? That's what you look like. Yay! You got it! I know that. And the reason why he said lemon,

Starting point is 00:17:57 because of the yellowness. No, no, no, no, no, it's just the shape. It's just the, it's the. Oh, the yellow had nothing to do with it. Bow, bow, bow, bow, bow, bow. It's over. This question is for Santino there we go now Bobby once described your head as a a Penis B a boil or C a woman's head. I'm gonna go with B boil

Starting point is 00:18:23 This is great. Oh, what a fun show. Yeah. And for the final round, f-f-f-f-f-f-final round! Final round. Ah! Woo!

Starting point is 00:18:33 Wow. Beep, beep, beep, beep. Exactly. Beep, beep, beep. Okay. This question is for Bobby. If Santino grew up with you and was a little boy with you when you were both growing up as little boys

Starting point is 00:18:45 What would he do every day? This is an open-ended question He would give me a wedgie Let's take a look at the board Okay Very close. I don't think that's true. I Think it's true and it's rude. If we grew up together. Yeah. You already said you punch him as hard as you could

Starting point is 00:19:07 every day. You know how close we would have been when we were little boys. I know. If we were the same generation. No, I know, that's not taking a shot. I'm saying if we literally grew up in the same time, we would have been such buddies.

Starting point is 00:19:19 Troublemaker dude. You know what I would do with you if you were my sister? What? Every day. That's the show. I would sneak into your room. I would clip hairs from you. Oh were my sister? What? Every day. That's the show. I would sneak into your room, I would clip hairs from you. Oh God. Let's not, no, it's not weird.

Starting point is 00:19:29 No, it's just, yes, well definitely fucking weird. It's not weird. Okay, no wait, I'm listening. Thank you. Hear him out, hear him out. And then I would find a squirrel skull. A squirrels quail? A squirrel skull.

Starting point is 00:19:40 They're all over the place. Yeah, in the woods, right? And I would find the perfect one. You could just make it like your belly button. That, right? And what I would do perfect one. You could just make your polymorphine. And what I would do is I would make a demonic epitaph. I would take this. A hillbilly elegy?

Starting point is 00:19:53 Yeah, yeah, I would take this hairs, right? Jam it in the fucking squirrels, your mind and their mouth part of the skull, like in that part, right? Interesting, the mind. It would be sticking out. I would take a stick, right? I would probably put like frog warts.

Starting point is 00:20:06 Okay. I think if that does something. Like frog skin. The warts. Just the warts you'd see. I would squirt it on it. You know what I mean? Yeah, that makes sense.

Starting point is 00:20:13 Right? And then I would get black candles. Black candles. Yeah, and I would put a circle and put this effigy. Is that the right word, epitaph? No, yes. Effigy? No, no, no, no, yeah.

Starting point is 00:20:25 Effigy, right? And I would do demonic like seances. You know what? Pongole, kaj, chikumole, lai, tepaka, tarat, tarat. Right, whatever, right? Yeah. And it would haunt you. And I would be gleefully laughing.

Starting point is 00:20:41 Anyway. I love that, I've always wanted a brother. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I would do with you, Bobby. Anyway. I love that, I've always wanted a brother. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I would do with you, Bobby? If I were your brother. Yeah. I would be adopted, so be careful. We could be halves.

Starting point is 00:20:53 That's true. I would get a soccer ball and I would knock on your door and ask you if you wanted to kick it around in the backyard. That's nice. And then I'd say, I'm getting bullied at school. And only when I trust. Thanks for spending this time with me.

Starting point is 00:21:10 I take it back then. I won't clip your hair as I'm making it. Here comes the bully. Yeah. Hey Lee. Stay away from my brother. I'm sick of your dumb sister coming around the school acting all smart because she's in STEM.

Starting point is 00:21:23 Oh God, Bobby, this is my teacher, Mr. McKenna. She is dumb. What? Yeah. You want to see my... I made a little thing. What? What did you make? Oh yeah.

Starting point is 00:21:35 Maybe we could draw the sign. Like an effigy or something? Like an effigy, dude. Show it to me. Look at that. Keep it in my pocket all day. Are those black candles? Yeah, those are black candles, right?

Starting point is 00:21:43 Whoa. These are her hair. You're awesome, Lee. Yeah. Do you feel sick at night? Yeah. Bingo. Whoa.

Starting point is 00:21:52 Tokachi, come look. Go go solo, boy. Oh. Ship station. We have an online business. Yes, we do. And without Ship Station, I think we'd be lost, my friend. I would definitely be lost.

Starting point is 00:22:03 Life in general can be chaotic, Andrew. You know this. Yeah. As do I. Yeah. And if you're in charge of order fulfillment for an e-commerce business, you know that's its own special kind of chaos.

Starting point is 00:22:13 But with ShipStation, you can count on your day-to-day remaining calm. Save hours, save money, all, every single month by shipping from one login, automating repetitive tasks, finding the best rates among all the global carriers. Look, if you're somebody that has a small business of any kind of any size,

Starting point is 00:22:30 and you're looking to sell stuff, distribute stuff, put stuff out there to the world, ShipStation has your back. You never need to upgrade. ShipStation grows with your business no matter how big it gets. Fastest, most affordable way to ship products is ShipStation, from your spot to your customers with discounts up to 88%

Starting point is 00:22:46 off UPSDHL Express and USPS rates and up to 90% off FedEx rates. Seamlessly integrate with services and selling channels you already use. That's right. And deliver a better customer experience with industry leading scalable features that help ensure accuracy.

Starting point is 00:22:59 Get shipments out the door faster and keep customers happy with automated tracking updates with your company's branding. Calm the chaos of order fulfillment with the shipping software that delivers. Switch to ShipStation today. Go to ShipStation.com and use code BADFRIENDS and sign up for your free trial. That's ShipStation.com code BADFRIENDS. Acorns!

Starting point is 00:23:15 They say money can't buy you happiness, but guess what? That's true. Money sure can make you feel a lot of other things though. Oh, I feel so many good things about money. What do you feel about money? Safety, security. Money makes people feel stressed, guilty, unsure, overwhelmed. Those are bad qualities.

Starting point is 00:23:34 You don't want that. Because it feels shaky sometimes when you're not in control of your money. Money can sometimes control you. And I'm telling you, you gotta get control. And I'll tell you another thing. When I first started making a little money, I remember investing in some mutual funds and stuff, and it makes you feel like it's going somewhere.

Starting point is 00:23:50 It's helping. It's helping, yeah. And that's why Acorns is very important. Yeah, it is. Acorns is a financial wellness app that helps you take control of your money with simple tools to make it easy to start investing and saving for your future.

Starting point is 00:24:04 You don't need to be an expert, by the way. Acorns will recommend a diversified portfolio that matches you and your money goals. This is the biggest thing, by the way. People think, oh, you have to have a lot of money. No, no, no, no, no. Do not. You can start saving now, start investing now,

Starting point is 00:24:15 start diversifying now. Acorns is here to help. Yeah, when I first started, I put 500 bucks in. Yeah, and that helps. You don't need to be rich. Acorns lets you get started with the spare money you've got right now, even if all you have is spare change. No big deal.

Starting point is 00:24:27 Ready to take control of your money? Sign up now and join the over 13 million all-time customers who have already saved and invested over $22 billion with Acorns. Head to acorns.com slash bad friends or download the Acorns app to get started. Paid non-client endorsement compensation provides incentive to positively promote Acorns tier three compensation provided. Investing involves risk. Acorns advisors LLC and SEC registered investment advisor view important disclosures at acorns.com slash bad friends. My math teacher in the eighth grade literally did this. I said something, like I'm here or something,

Starting point is 00:24:55 and he went, ha ha ha ha. No way. That's what I got to do. In front of the class. The whole class laughed. And I laughed too nervously. It's terrible. In my mind I was like, I don't think that's right.

Starting point is 00:25:04 I think that's not okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did you have one teacher that you like loved as a kid that you were like, they're so, they're the coolest, nicest. I didn't have that experience because teachers did not like me. Same. I had one teacher that loved me so much,

Starting point is 00:25:20 but he also hated me where he's like, you're- Oh yeah, okay, I had one of those you know was mine yeah we all have one that they're like i wish you weren't such a disruption because you're such a like you're a fun light yeah that's so true mr baman he on the last day of school he gave me a blues brothers poster because i love that was really into the blues brothers love and i was so excited it was like at the beginning of the last class and he was like you've been you know you're crazy kid you're easy poster and then by the end of class he was like, you know, you're a crazy kid, he's a poster. And then by the end of class, he was like, I gotta take that poster away from you

Starting point is 00:25:47 because you're talking so much. It was like, it became a punishment immediately. Couldn't even be a nice gift. Do you like the Blues Brothers? Yeah, I was really into them when I was. Incredible. You didn't like the Blues Brothers? No, so I did a movie with Jim Belushi.

Starting point is 00:26:02 Iconic. Four months ago. Animal Hospital the movie? HAHAHAHAHAHA Oh, you're so good. I can't get why I won't buy you. That's super wonderful. Oh wow, what a wonderful treatment. What a good experience. I like it.

Starting point is 00:26:19 Oh no. Yeah, I'm about to snap. Why? Don't. I'm about to go ape shit crazy. Oh no no no. A, don't? I'm about to go ape shit crazy. Oh no, no, no. Ape shit like? Animal hospital?

Starting point is 00:26:31 Anyway, him and Dan Aykroyd still tour with Belushi. I found that interesting. Yeah. Oh, I didn't know that. The other Belushi? Yeah, no, Dan Aykroyd and Jim Belushi. Oh yeah, that's what I'm saying. Don Belushi's brother.

Starting point is 00:26:44 Jim Belushi in his own right was a star. was thinking. Don Belushi's brother. Yeah. Jim Belushi in his own right was a star. He was on a sitcom called Oh Put Him in the Gym. Yes, yes. I just didn't realize that I guess he could sing as well as John. He can. Wow.

Starting point is 00:26:54 Yeah, and he can do a lot of things like John did. Wow. Okay, it's not, the talent is in the family. That's awesome. Okay, I don't like your line of questioning here. She's being, that's just an honest line of question. You're right, I'm being awful. Thank you.

Starting point is 00:27:07 I love you, thanks for doing it. I love you too, are you okay? Did you have a grumpy day? I was telling these guys, I haven't been sleeping much. You haven't been sleeping. And it's been five days of holding within my calm. And so I- Don't you just cum in your belly button?

Starting point is 00:27:20 No, I'm trying not to relieve myself in that way. That's why his balls are purple, it's held up down there. Yeah, it's held up. Like a bank robbery. Yeah, some people get blue, I get purple. Okay. Yeah, and so- Purple balls.

Starting point is 00:27:34 Sorry. That's how my dad said it. Yeah, purple balls. Purple balls. Bobby? Yeah, yeah, Dad. I don't know why you do an accent when you talk, Dad. That's my bad. Show me your balls. I don't know why you do an accent when you're talking. That's my bad. Show me your both

Starting point is 00:27:46 I don't know dad. Show me Okay, well your friend see Lisa has to go. All right. All right. I'm not Lisa. I'm the mail carrier Yeah, where is that? Oh, yeah oil dad. Yeah. Yeah. All right Boing growing purple does your dad listen? Yeah, from heaven. Thanks for bringing that up. I don't know. Yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:28:09 He's gone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When an Asian guy dies, you know the day you take your last breath, some people are like, yeah, his dad won't. Oh, wow. I don't know if that's right. It was. Yeah, you think that-

Starting point is 00:28:27 It was, you called me. Yeah, but you were the one that told me that when regular girls haunt people, they go boo. And what does my dad do? Ooh. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and that's wrong. I think it is. You've never heard your dad in your house?

Starting point is 00:28:40 Yeah, but it's more like, ugh, they're like, nga. No, no. You think your dad's haunting you for real? Do you think your dad's haunting you I think his lower half is And it's possessing your balls and that's what made them. Yeah. My theory is this Lisa Gilbert If you want to hear I'd love to hear it when my father died My brother and I argued about the ashes. Yeah, so then I go just split him up But I go make sure my brother gets the upper half and I get the bottom half. Because if a ghost haunts you,

Starting point is 00:29:07 you'd rather hear footsteps than the actual, boodoodoo, you know? Yeah, that's true. Right? Have you ever been haunted? I don't really think so. Uh oh, sounds like someone has a traumatic event that went down. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:29:19 Why, I didn't, mm. What happened? When did you go to town? I heard a little girl's voice once in my house. But that's it. That's a haunting. Go on, go on, go on. That's all that happened.

Starting point is 00:29:29 I literally heard it. No, there was something else happened. What did it say? It said, one day in the future, you're gonna go on a podcast with two guys and you have to kill them and slit their throats before they get in their car to get in the parking lot. And if you don't, you will never be avenged

Starting point is 00:29:43 and you will never survive the curse. That's why I'm here. I'm sorry. I don't want to. And that's why I clip your hairs. Okay, and make a squirrel appetizer. Yeah. I wish you would kill me.

Starting point is 00:30:01 Yeah, me too. You had a grumpy day too? You're not sleeping, bud? I actually had a really nice day. That's why I wanna die. Oh, cause you'd be going out on a high note? Yeah, we did everything I wanted to do. We talked about animal practice,

Starting point is 00:30:14 and the Blues Brothers. And you know what? Me too. Kill us both. I'm gonna kill you guys both, but first I'm gonna take you, okay, this is what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna give you all the chocolate you ever wanted to eat. I'm gonna take you to a beach where you I'm gonna take you okay. This is what I'm gonna do I'm gonna give you all the chocolate you ever wanted to eat

Starting point is 00:30:25 Oh, I'm gonna take you to be sure you can run around go crazy come on I'm gonna let you eat grapes cheese all the stuff that you weren't allowed to grapes and cheese Both yeah, I'm gonna let you up on the couch it not even with the blanket there You can just come right up shoes on snuggle with me shoes on I'll give you belly rubs Oh, yeah me shoes on I'll give you belly rubs. To both of them the belly rubs, remember his belly. Oh yeah, it's your last time you get a belly rub. What's up, I'm sorry. I said that I clean them out now my belly buttons. It's so interesting you have two belly buttons and one ball.

Starting point is 00:30:57 Yeah, anyway, watch it, thank you. Do you have an Audi? No, I have a Bronco. Oh sick, you're fast huh? You have an Innie have an Audi? No, I have a Bronco. Oh, sick. You're fast, huh? You have an Innie or an Audi belly button? Innie. Don't say it like people don't have Audis.

Starting point is 00:31:11 I've never seen an Audi. Huh? You have an Audi already. Why do I feel like only like eight year old boys have Audis? Yeah. Because they get them fixed at some point. They get them fixed or they get them like pushed in?

Starting point is 00:31:21 Well, that's an Audi? No, thank you. They don't push them in. Oh yeah. You gotta get your uncle to put your photo. I think I have an Audi. Based on that photo. Well that's an Audi? No thank you. They don't push them in. Oh yeah. You gotta get your uncle to pull them. I think I have an Audi. That's you. Based on that photo.

Starting point is 00:31:28 Can I just show you? Yeah. No, you do have an Audi. A little. Oh no, that's a nini Audi. That's a nini Audi. Like Severance. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:31:37 Oh, nini Audi. Oh, I have a Severance belly button. Yeah. Wow. Do you like that show? Yeah, I love it. It's a great show. Can't get enough of this stuff.

Starting point is 00:31:44 Yeah. There's a lot of good shows out now. I haven't seen anything. You never seen Severance? I watched the start and then I fell asleep on the plane and then I never got back to it. I did see a documentary about that girl that faked that she had brain cancer yesterday. I watched the series of that, Apple Cider Vinegar.

Starting point is 00:32:02 I heard that wasn't as good. I loved it, but I haven't seen what you've seen and you haven't seen what I've seen. The dots. You wanna run at each other full speed and touch each other. Okay, I don't know anything what you're talking about, so I wanna see it.

Starting point is 00:32:10 Apple Cider Vinegar is the show about the girl who fakes that she had, she had an Australian girl named Belle Gibson. Yeah. Belle Gibson. And Belle Gibson. She's from Melbourne. It really drove me nuts that they kept calling her

Starting point is 00:32:21 in the documentary, Belle Gibson, cause it sounds like Mel Gibson, they say it's all the time like, well that's when Belle Gibson went on her little tirade. I was like, ooh, I remember that. On PCA. Tell me about Belle. She faked that she had brain cancer.

Starting point is 00:32:35 And spleen cancer and blood cancer and brain cancer. And she was in Australia. Yeah. You saw a documentary on Netflix? And I saw the like- Show on Netflix. Yeah, the show based on it. They made a show based on it and they put them out basically at the same time.

Starting point is 00:32:48 Like I never saw the Mandettas Brothers show. Oh, the Mandettas Brothers, yeah. They killed the parents. The show was pretty good. Yeah. It was called Mononsters, I think. The Vendetta Brothers? The Vendetta Brothers.

Starting point is 00:32:58 Oh, the Vendetta Brothers. I have a speech impediment. So do I. Okay, then Touche. There's Bill Gibson right there, taking a photo. Belle, tell us why you faked your cancer. I, at the time, I didn't. I had brain cancer.

Starting point is 00:33:12 Belle, come on. You said you went to a doctor in Perth. At the time, I- Quite frankly, we looked up the doctor. Doesn't exist, Belle. Belle. Those are my medical records, and they're personal and private to me.

Starting point is 00:33:25 One moment, my son's here. Yeah. What are you talking about? My adopted son, my adopted Chinese son. I can't do an Asian accent. I got an Australian accent. Or any of them, really. Psh.

Starting point is 00:33:36 Yeah, down under. That's it. Okay, anyway. Down under. This girl just sat on a 60 minutes and that's the footagey to the 60 minutes. And she literally is like, you don't have brain cancer. She's like, at the time.

Starting point is 00:33:49 Yeah, she goes, true or false? You have brain cancer. She goes, at the time. True or false? She can't. It was amazing. But she's such a magician. She's able to just kind of like

Starting point is 00:34:00 fuck off all this negative, nothing ever happened. She never got arrested. She never went to prison, nothing. What's the problem here? What about, if I said to you, if I said to you. We're not finishing the story. Okay.

Starting point is 00:34:12 She created a health app and the app earned a lot of money from people who have cancer that wanted to take this health journey with her. And she said she was gonna give like many of the proceeds to charity, which she never did. She never did. It's a brilliant money scamming. That's charity fraud. That's but we agree it is a brilliant. Charity fraud beautiful name for a baby girl. What's up Portland we're charity fraud. No I said not a band I said for a baby girl like hey I'm charity.

Starting point is 00:34:38 That's what a baby girl sounds like hey I'm welcome to Portland I'm charity fraud. Don't know little girls don't sound like that. You started to do Ocean Avenue? I did. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. Brain cancer is such a heavy one to lie about. That's a heavy, that's what I'm saying. You could've lied about, you could've said, what's leukemia is blood cancer?

Starting point is 00:34:56 That one's an easier lie because people can live with it for a long time. Why brain? Don't get brain. I'm gonna tell you something though, Teeny Teeners. Go ahead, Farmeba. I think what she has is worse than brain cancer. Because if you're sick enough to lie

Starting point is 00:35:07 about having brain cancer, you've got another kind of illness that's maybe even more serious than brain cancer. Interesting. Sociopathy. Yeah. Yeah. Something like that. Did you ever put a bicycle playing card on the spokes of your bicycle?

Starting point is 00:35:21 No. Did you ever see people do that in the neighborhood? Yeah. In Canada, they do that? Not really. I feel like that's for little boys in the 1940s. No, we did it. You did that. I put a playing card in the spoke-up bicycle

Starting point is 00:35:33 for a little bit of fun. Is that you? Well, that's a girl. You're doing a girl. Do a guy. I put a, I can't. Oh my God, I don't think I can. What accent are you trying to do?

Starting point is 00:35:42 Ascot and the dinosaur, huh? Sound, sound. How could this happen to me? I made my mistakes. I don't know what's wrong. You'll be okay. You'll be in my heart. No matter what they say.

Starting point is 00:36:04 Name what movie that's from and let me guess It's a contest see again Okay, I'm gonna sing the first verse okay, please for one so small you seem so strong okay stop I'm gonna say little mermaid My arms defend you keep you safe and warm You know what Moana no fuck getting closer though. Yeah, I know Moana to dad dad dad poke harness That pocahontas no and you know you don't know

Starting point is 00:36:39 Let's see what gets it I've never heard the song before but I'm gonna try I'm just staying on now and forever more. I've never heard this song before, but I'm gonna try. It's a more modern, is it animated or cartoon? It's Jungle Book. Animated or cartoon? I know what it is, Lion King. I know, cause I know the movie.

Starting point is 00:36:54 Lion King? It's so funny, cause I remember the song. But you can't say it? Lion King? It's not. Fuck. Tarzan. Tarzan.

Starting point is 00:37:01 Tarzan. What is it? It's Tarzan. Tarzan. No, it's not Tarzan. There's a little fucking movie called Tarzan Tarzan What is it Tarzan Tarzan? No such a fucking movie called Tarzan. Yes. Yes. I was right there you'll be in my Yeah, and Phil Collins did the song for it Wow Iconic give me another Disney song and let's see what yes it Mmm. Okay, you want me to do kind of a hard one? No, go basic. Obviously. We don't know what the fuck you're doing. Well, centenars knew it.

Starting point is 00:37:27 Yeah, I did know that. So I'll do middle ground. Middle ground. So it's still like an interesting competition. How about this one? Um, this one longing to be thinner. This one wants to get the girl. Do I help them?

Starting point is 00:37:38 Yes I do. Poor unfortunate soul. Can I guess? Of course you can guess, Bobby. That's the name of the game, my love. No. That know, I know. Can I guess? Of course you can guess, Bobby. That's the name of the game, my love. No. That's Little Mermaid. Yeah, that's Little Mermaid.

Starting point is 00:37:50 Oh, wow. You're so good at it. He knows his redheads. Yeah. Wink. No, black person now. Black person now? Oh, I guess that's right.

Starting point is 00:38:01 They changed it. Yeah, and we threw a hole. I didn't see that. We were at the committee. we were pushing for the black. Person. You know what I mean? We wanna be inclusive. That's great.

Starting point is 00:38:12 There's a stereotype that black people can't swim. That's crazy. Is that, are there? Are there? Cause this disproves that. Look at that, Barack Obama swimming as a kid. I love it. Where's Michelle?

Starting point is 00:38:27 Yeah, they didn't meet then. How long have they been together? Did you guys hear that Jennifer Aniston and Barack Obama are dating? I heard they're hooking up. I don't know if they're dating. No, you'd be- Aw, but dating has to happen first.

Starting point is 00:38:39 No, sometimes you just get to hook up. Michelle and Barack are no longer together? I don't know, I just heard a rumor. There's a rumor on the internet. But I think if you're gonna hook up with someone, you have to go on a date with them, because otherwise how are you supposed to kiss if you don't have spaghetti first?

Starting point is 00:38:51 Oh, is that the king thing? What's a way you guys try to do a first kiss that makes it kind of fun? I tried it yesterday. Okay. And it didn't work. What was it? She was wearing a beanie. Okay, and she was only a toque. Yep, and I covered her eyes and Then I went in for a kiss. Wait, wait Bobby. I'm so sorry. You were on a date with a woman who was we're in her bed

Starting point is 00:39:17 Oh We're watching a lawn order or something. She wasn't she had a toque pulled over her eyes Yeah, and then I just put the toque over and I went in and I kissed her lips there. That's oh, that's kind of cute But that wasn't a first kiss was it it was oh Yeah, so she said don't ever do that again No, she didn't say that yeah, that is that's pretty cute. I didn't know how to it sometimes you go Here's the thing with women. I'm gonna say something there are signs you have to know women I'm listening right here the There are signs you have to give up. Listen up, women. Listen up! I'm listening.

Starting point is 00:39:46 Right, here are the signs I need to see. Yeah. When you're at a date, you have to be playing with your hair. You have, they have to be. Not me, yeah, yeah. At a restaurant? You have long hair, you can play with your hair. I know, but I've seen them do it, it's a sign.

Starting point is 00:40:02 It's a sign of what? Respect that they like you, and they wanna be there. Here's another thing, if you get closer to them, if you move away, that's not good. But if I move closer, like we're on a bench or something, we're bowling or whatever, right? And they don't move, that's a good sign. The third one I look for, is this not, I'm not,

Starting point is 00:40:21 Sign, sign, sign. Sign, sign, right. The other one is if, you know, sometimes when we're talking, put your arm up. Uh oh. Right, so I'll go, like if you say a funny joke as a girl. Careful. Yeah, I was just gonna say.

Starting point is 00:40:35 Yeah, yeah, yeah. A funny joke as a girl. Yeah, we're having Thai food. Knock, knock. Well, who's there? Trump. Trump who? Donald Trump, the new president.

Starting point is 00:40:45 And I do that. You know what I mean? I do a little touchy feely there. But sometimes they do it back. If you say something, they'll touch you. That's a good sign. That's a good sign. I wouldn't laugh at that Trump joke, by the way.

Starting point is 00:40:58 Why? That was one of her best jokes. I know, but it just didn't really hit well with me. We'll try it again. Okay. Knock knock. Who'll try it again. Okay. Knock knock. Who's there? Trump. Trump who? Donald J. Trump.

Starting point is 00:41:14 Okay. I feel like you're not even getting the girl's joke. Yeah, I don't get it. Yeah, I would give her a quick tap like that with no laugh. Maybe you could do it. Are you being serious? Okay knock knock? No, does it have to be a knock? Yes, it's a fucking knock. It's a joke from a girl knock knock. Who's there? instrument instrument who trumpet I

Starting point is 00:41:39 Guess better than yours You know what fuck it. Yeah, I'm not taking any advice from you guys or playing this game with her. We're girls. Yeah. I know you are. But I just don't think you're handling it seriously. Well this is why you're not gonna get a second date.

Starting point is 00:41:54 Yeah, we're here to help you. Yeah. Don't you think that those are good signs though? You want her to be, I think the hair one is the only one that, I mean. The hair thing is insane. Yeah, the hair one. Not every girl is gonna fucking twirl their hair. Yeah, but when they do, it's a good sign. I'll. The hair thing is insane. Yeah, the hair one. Not every girl is gonna fuckin' twirl their hair.

Starting point is 00:42:05 Yeah, but when they do, it's a good sign. I'll show you when it's a bad sign, okay? Okay. I'm on a date with you, okay? Okay, how about this, okay? We're in a conversation, first date. Yeah. Right? So it's just like, um.

Starting point is 00:42:17 Jesus Christ! Whoa! Whoa! Ew! Whoa! Sorry, whoa, whoa. Sorry, what were you saying? I was just playing with my hair. Hi, can you and your date please step outside and eat on the patio?

Starting point is 00:42:31 We've had some complaints from some of the people. Oh, that's weird, okay. I guess we gotta move to the patio, babe. I guess we'll move. Ooh. Yeah. Ooh. Can I be serious?

Starting point is 00:42:39 I'm just gonna leave, I'll pay the bill. Babe, wait, I was just playing with my hair to let you know that I like you. It's weird, it's weird. Why? Yeah, yeah. Hello, this is the mommy I'll pay the bill. Babe, wait, I was just playing with my hair to let you know that I like you. It's weird, it's weird. Why? Yeah, yeah. Hello, this is the mommy and this is the daddy. Yeah. Okay, yes, that would be good.

Starting point is 00:42:52 You think that would be good or bad? Good, that's a good sign. Yeah, that's a good sign. If a girl does that specifically, that's a good sign. Yeah. I mean, that seems like she's engaging, she's interested, she's having fun. She's having fun. I think I'm reading it wrong.

Starting point is 00:43:01 If you go to the bathroom, she can keep herself occupied. I think I'm reading it wrong. Yeah, you're right. Yeah, read it right. Yeah, I'll read it right, yeah. I think. If you go to the bathroom, she can keep herself occupied. I think I'm ringing her wrong. Yeah, you're right. Yeah, read it right. Yeah, I'll read it right, yeah. I think if they touch their hair like that, that means like, hey there.

Starting point is 00:43:11 But they're doing full conversation, okay. No, no, that shows that she has an imagination. Exactly, she can occupy herself. She doesn't fucking need you. She don't need a man to make it happen. Maybe it's more like, you know what I mean? Where were you Johnny? Oh yeah.

Starting point is 00:43:26 Right? That's better. Yeah. Where were you Johnny? Mom, it's only 8 p.m. I called the police and put you on a milk carton. Fuck you mom. Whoa.

Starting point is 00:43:37 Yeah. What's his problem? I don't know what Johnny's problem is. But I like something like that. Yeah. That went wrong. I don't want that. Yeah. That went wrong. I don't want that. ExpressVPN!

Starting point is 00:43:49 Going online without using ExpressVPN is like not closing the door when you use the bathroom. That's disgusting, alright? Even if you think you've got nothing to hide, why give random creeps a chance to invade your privacy? It's weird, man. I travel a lot, we travel a lot, and we must use ExpressVPN. Why everyone needs it, I'll tell you why. Because sometimes you're in a foreign place. Oh yeah.

Starting point is 00:44:10 And you're like, oh I have this app that's not working, then I use VPN. It works. But the best part is, ExpressVPN hides your IP address, making it difficult for third parties to track your online activity. I don't want people to know where we are, what we're up to, what I'm looking at.

Starting point is 00:44:24 I'm Jason Bourne. You are Jason Bourne, okay? Optional, dedicated IP service, engineered with innovative zero-knowledge design. Not even ExpressVPN can trace an IP address back to the user. That is pretty incredible. Rated number one by top tech reviewers like CNET and The Verge.

Starting point is 00:44:42 Here's the best part. I've been using ExpressVPN for a while now, and when I'm traveling, I wanna watch shows and movies and whatever I got going on. Thank goodness for ExpressVPN. They protect me and let me be free. Tell them how to get it. Protect your online privacy today by using expressvpn.com slash bad friends.

Starting point is 00:45:00 That's expressvpn.com, E-X-P-r-e-s-s-vpn.com slash bad friends to find out how you can get up to four extra months free. Expressvpn.com slash bad friends. One time I went on a blind date and I took a bus to West Hollywood to meet her at a Mexican restaurant that was on Santa Monica in the middle of West Hollywood. And-

Starting point is 00:45:23 Is it true what they say? Yeah, it is bigger on- Blind girls have bigger boobs? What? Is it true? Yeah. What they say? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:45:32 Blind girls. Bigger boobs. Have bigger boobs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My man. My dog. My dog, yeah, yeah, yeah. Knock, knock.

Starting point is 00:45:40 Who's there? Instrument. Instrument who? Violin. See? That's really good. Now I'm fucking with you, I'm keeping you on your toes. Yeah. That's pretty good.

Starting point is 00:45:47 So you took a bus to your date at a Mexican restaurant. It was a blind date. I busted date. Would you date a girl that has a big vag? Would I? Yeah. How would you know? Well, you'd know.

Starting point is 00:45:57 Because you have to date first before you see it. You'd know, you fucking know. Let me tell you something. Big hands. When you come walking up, we can hear it. Big feet. Swish, swash. Big vag. Splish, splash, I'm taking a bath.

Starting point is 00:46:06 Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Have I dated a girl with a big vagina? Yeah, yeah. No, I don't think so. Okay. I don't think so. And I can't say the same.

Starting point is 00:46:15 But every vagina must feel like a big vagina to you. To me, you say that to me? Well, I was, I guess to both of you, sure. That's a small penis thing? Could be. What do you mean, it could be? Let me ask you something. I'm not a fucking doctor, I don't I guess to both of you, sure. That's a small penis thing? Could be. What do you mean it could be? Let me ask you something. I'm not a fucking doctor, I don't work at an animal hospital.

Starting point is 00:46:29 Make an assumption, who has a bigger penis between me and Andrew? I can't. Yeah, you can. I can't even engage in that. Okay, okay. See? Yeah, and finish your story.

Starting point is 00:46:38 Let it out this road. Finish your story. You wanna date? Take a bus to a Mexican restaurant. Take a bus to a Mexican restaurant. Oh, I took a bus to a Mexican restaurant to meet this girl. I get on the bus and she's on the bar dancing and she's wearing like a tiny little skirt

Starting point is 00:46:49 and she had the biggest fucking vagina I've ever seen in my entire life. Right. So I married her. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Knock, knock. Who's there? Instrument.

Starting point is 00:47:00 Instrument who? Instrumental in this conversation. Have a good night. I love that. Thank you. That's insane. Pretty good. Yeah, anyway, I don't think your wife has a big vag, but.

Starting point is 00:47:13 No, dude. Yes, she does. Yeah, okay, I didn't know. Come on. Anyway, sorry, is it uncomfortable for you, this line of questioning? No, I'm happy. I'm sure you have a small one. It was in my of questioning. No, I'm happy. I I'm sure you have a small one

Starting point is 00:47:25 It was it was in my vows. No, I don't all right. He'll depth do us part What are some red flags? I know you're married, but if you were dating a guy, what would be some red flags? Oh, if I said to you, you know, what are some you know, Lisa, you know, I'm just trying to start this comedy. Red flag already. Why? This kind of, this stupeshy of it all. I do see that. Yeah, I'm from fucking Brooklyn, what the fuck? You're like, hey, any chance you're gonna alleviate your son home alone this weekend?

Starting point is 00:47:56 I don't have a fucking your son, man. I have my mom, I live with my mom. Yeah, right. Is that a red flag? Sure. Okay. What are your red flags? Unless your mom is Meryl Streep, then it that a red flag sure okay what are your red flag unless your mom is Meryl Streep then it's green oh that's cool that's a really cool yeah

Starting point is 00:48:11 give me a red flag and I'll tell you how it could be a green flag that's really fun to all of your female okay so um I can still be this guy sure sure yeah yeah you know I'll be honest with you I like pineapple on my pizza you what pineapple on my pizza Oh, you like pineapple on your pizza. That's what I fucking said. I'm from Brooklyn. That's a green flag already to me Okay, good. How about you? You don't really like pineapple on your p. I do I actually think it gives it like a zesty kind of taste that other way wouldn't have that's your idea of zest I just love the sweet and sour kind of like savory and sweet Fuck you from Darling we've got to get off this bus.

Starting point is 00:48:47 It's dangerous. Hey guy, where the fuck are you from with that fucking silly way you're talking? New York is terrifying. You don't need money love. Sorry sir, we don't... Whoa, whoa, what's going on? You pay to get on the fucking bus? We'd like to get off the bus please. Yeah, you little stop! This bus driver's really aggressive. Darling, haven't you got 50p to We'd like to get off the bus please. Yeah, you little stop! These bus drivers really-

Starting point is 00:49:05 Darling, haven't you got 50p to give him? Got nothing on me. Yeah. Sorry, go away! Go away? Go away, homey! I like jalapenos and pineapple on my fucking pizza, man! By the way, this is what it's like taking the bus.

Starting point is 00:49:17 Yeah, yeah. That's exactly what it's like. Every day you might- you're just gonna get yelled at and assaulted. Yeah, okay. Okay, but what really happened? You took the bus to the restaurant, what happened? Well, I don't remember. You said you went on a blind date

Starting point is 00:49:28 to a Mexican restaurant, you took a bus. Come on, beautiful mind. He's got it. He's together. You remember. He's seeing it. What the fuck you doing, sir? What, dad?

Starting point is 00:49:44 Yeah, son. Hey, Dad? Yeah, son. Hey, Dad. Hey, son. What's up? Where have you been? I've been living on the bus all day long, man, talking to fucking women, man. Still driving the bus, huh?

Starting point is 00:49:55 Yeah, I'm driving it. I'm taking ladies. You know, talking about my fucking pineapples on my pizzas. I have a good fucking angle in, man. I miss you, Pop. I miss you too, son. What happened to you?

Starting point is 00:50:03 You die? Andrew, Andrew. Yeah? Where did you go? What? I asked you about the date, missed you too, son. What happened to you? You die? Andrew, Andrew. Yeah. Where'd you go? I asked you about the date and you just like got really quiet and you just like looked into the distance. What do you mean?

Starting point is 00:50:12 I've been... You were just staring there. Oh. Yeah. Take a minute. It's really rude. Take a minute for a second. So he experienced trauma

Starting point is 00:50:20 and sometimes he goes in these takes. Oh, okay. You know, he's, you know, zones out. You don't have to call it out. Okay, sorry. I just didn't know. Yeah, it's a little rude, you know? Sorry. I could call you out about some things,

Starting point is 00:50:28 but I wouldn't ever do it. I wasn't malicious intent at all. I was just trying to make sure that he was okay. Okay. You okay now? Yeah, I think so, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:50:38 So do you want to tell us about the big date that you want to talk about? Oh, here we go. She's not getting the- Oh, the big date I ate? Yeah, yeah. Oh my God. Sweet as ever. Bacon wrapped.

Starting point is 00:50:45 No way. Double fried. Chocolate dipped. Double dipped. Peanut butter stuffed. PBS. Deep fried and everything. Deep double fried on a ding dong scanadac.

Starting point is 00:50:55 Sliced in half and filled to the brim. Sksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksks Let's, yummy, dummy, ding-dong. I love bacon wrapped around dates. Bacon wrapped dates are probably one of my favorite. I like a sweet, I like peanut butter chocolate date. Well, that's pretty good too. Very good touche. Delicious. Yeah, yeah. All right, how about most unattractive looking food

Starting point is 00:51:17 that you find absolutely delicious? Unattractive. It looks ugly, but it's quite good. Beef stroganoff. Beef that does but it's quite good. Beef's strong enough. Beef that does look gross and tastes good. Yeah. With what? With pineapples. Obviously.

Starting point is 00:51:34 Ugliest food that tastes good. I guess mussels. Ooh, you're right. Yeah. They look like little vagas. They look good as something's going on. Yeah. Yeah. And lobster in general.es. They look like something's going on. Yeah. Lobster in general.

Starting point is 00:51:47 Lobsters always look so gross. I've had- I don't like when they cut it open, they half it on the- No, I don't like how- I don't like that, I don't need that. I was violently sick because of muscles. Yeah, I don't know.

Starting point is 00:51:59 Oh, same, San Francisco. Yeah, it was- I got four days. Yeah, San Diego, it almost killed me. It's bad. When they go bad, it goes bad. Well, don't they say like muscles, San Diego it almost killed me. It's bad when they go bad. It goes bad Well, don't they say like muscles right don't isn't it something like muscles have super high What's the level that makes you something that makes people really sick and listeria? Yeah, like they're yeah, that's right, right? Yeah, I think that was an eggs and shit. Yeah, it's in the last time you a diarrhea Lisa. Oh boy

Starting point is 00:52:24 Okay, there it is. Paralytic shellfish poisoning, PSP. Oh God. Yeah. And this is like super common. People get it all the time. Wait, you can get PSP from mussels? PSP too.

Starting point is 00:52:35 Oh, and that's when you can like hear the thoughts of dead people and stuff? Purple. I do want to ask you a real serious question if we can be serious for two seconds. Okay. Is there Alisa Gilroy's show in the works? I do want to ask you a real serious question if we can be serious for two seconds. Okay. Does, is there a Lisa Gilroy show in the works?

Starting point is 00:52:50 I have a, there's a rumor that you have a show. You have a show. Fuck off. I'm dead serious. No. I'm 100% serious. I heard that too. I heard that too.

Starting point is 00:53:01 No way. Shut up. Be, be real. So you're being honest. I just said be serious for two seconds. Yeah, yeah. Are you being honest right now, Gilroy? Are you, is there a show being developed, at least a Gilroy show? Well.

Starting point is 00:53:10 It may not be called. Did you sell a show? No. So you're not a part of any company, any production company, developing anything for you? No. Liar. But I know a few production companies

Starting point is 00:53:21 will be pretty mad to hear me say that. Ha ha ha ha. Oh ho ho ho ho ho. Hey, I don't have a girlfriend, but I know a few girls will be mad to hear me say that. Hey, I don't have a girlfriend, but I know a few girls will be mad to hear me say that. We got it on the first time. Like I was saying, cause I think Mitch Hedrick had said something kind of like a joke like that, that I-

Starting point is 00:53:32 We got it on the first time. You don't need to do a joke. I don't have a husband, but I know a guy that'd be pretty mad if he heard me say that. So you are doing a show. You are? Well, I'm developing stuff. I'm always developing stuff.

Starting point is 00:53:45 Nah, but there's something else. You're just being coy about it. I heard it too. I don't like when you're being coy. I'm, I'm. Don't be. We've got stuff too. You don't be a coy.

Starting point is 00:53:52 Hey, we got stuff too, you know? We actually don't. We're. You guys have your animated show. We have an animated show and a game show and other things. Oh no, we washed those away. They're both gone. You were making a game show?

Starting point is 00:54:05 That's fun. Stop it. You can be on it. Is that true? What would it be like? We are making a game show. We did a pilot, can we talk about that or no? Um.

Starting point is 00:54:14 Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Stamos and. John Stamos and Meghan Trainor. Meghan Trainor did it. That's our first two guests. Oh, so it's only like one person competing against one person. They go head to head.

Starting point is 00:54:26 Bobby and I are hosting the show and it's- So we would match you with somebody equivalent level. Of what? To be on our game show. Fame, stardom, hip, hip coolness. So let me think of somebody that we could patch her up with. Dax Flame? Quinta Brunson.

Starting point is 00:54:42 Quinta Brunson, yeah, yeah. You and Quinta Brunson. What, yeah you and Quinta Brunson What's wrong with that? She you guys have been mean to me. What what the what the what the fuck? Are you she's so famous? Okay, you know what dude you have to pair me up with like you're Lisa Gilroy the mail carrier What an oil dad? Yeah Lisa you were you've won for regular folks. I can be on it. Shut up. That's so annoying. Fuck you dude So you're a star. What's the premise of the part in the mic? Thank you Your fans are gonna love this Now that was ass cat

Starting point is 00:55:22 South by Southwest Mike Mike Fats. Okay, now Santino and I are gonna have a competition. Up dog. You can best replicate that, and Bobby, you can judge. That was an up dog. You get to be the little king, okay? Can I get through the smell though? It was actually pungent.

Starting point is 00:55:34 Well, it's your fault. I know, I fucked it up. Okay, now listen to Santino do, to replicate it, and then listen to me and you. You go first, you're the guest. What are we doing to explain it to me? We're replicating your fart. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:55:44 The best what? The best version of your fart. Oh, good. Thank you. OK, listen. Yeah, close your eyes. Yeah, and actually, you shouldn't even know who's going first. Oh, gosh, my Lord.

Starting point is 00:55:51 Yeah, perfect. Blah. What did you like about it? It was so good. It's like a different interpretation of actually the thing. It's art. It is art.

Starting point is 00:56:10 It's all subjective. I feel like I know what the order was. What was the order? You first, you second. No. You put a little vocal on your voice. You put your voice in. Yours is like.

Starting point is 00:56:19 Yours sounded organically farting. Thank you. Yeah, yeah. She's better at this. I don't know how you managed to put like your own voice into it. Well, that was the talent. If you were on a yeah, she's better at this. I don't know how you managed to put like, your own voice into the fart. Well, that was the talent. If you were on a date and a guy did that,

Starting point is 00:56:28 is it a red flag? I'm gonna put my own voice into a fart now. Okay. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Yeah, yeah. Pretty good. But would that be a red flag for you? If a guy farted into a microphone?

Starting point is 00:56:38 No, no, just in, yeah, like, yeah. No. Okay, thank you. Has your husband ever farted, wait, before he was your husband, you were dating, you farted on a date, were you chill about it? I don't think there was ever any farting on dates, really. Does he fart in front of you now?

Starting point is 00:56:51 Because I think, yeah, of course. Does he trap the farts? Do you fart in front of him? Of course. I think it's criminally insane if people don't fart in front of their partners. Interesting. Is that you guys?

Starting point is 00:56:59 I never do. Me and Bob have never farted in front of each other. Never. That was the first time. And then I didn't even get cut out. It was so disgusting. But do you, and Bob have never farted in front of each other. Never, that was the first time. And then I didn't even get cut out, it was so disgusting. But do you, I know you're farting in front of girlfriend's past, right? I mean.

Starting point is 00:57:13 That's why the ghosts of girlfriend's past. You know when a ghost of girlfriend's past comes to show you how you spent Christmas and wants to teach you a lesson. Jacob, it's because of your cast, your girlfriends are gone. Spirit, no, spirit. Don't your girlfriends are gone. Spirit, no! Spirit, don't they always say spirit?

Starting point is 00:57:27 Spirit, spirit, spirit! I'll only fart in front of an ex-girlfriend if they do a blood queef. Ah, Bobby. Whoa. Yeah, yeah, and. You didn't have to do that, Bobby. Hello?

Starting point is 00:57:38 Nah, don't do that, Bobby. Wait, that's crazy. That's like kind of like a blood oath, but. Santiners, are you farting in front of your bride? Oh yeah. Big. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Farts are chill.

Starting point is 00:57:49 Farts are chill. Farts are actually, there is a study, look this up. There's a study that finds that couples who fart in front of each other have a healthier love and longer lasting relationships. Look at that, couples who fart together, farting in front of a partner indicates strong bond, sign of trust, honesty and respect. Okay, all right, farting in front of a partner indicates strong bond, sign of trust, honesty, and respect.

Starting point is 00:58:05 Okay, all right, everybody get in here. We're making the new campaign for farting in front of your partner. One of the slogans that I came up with today was the more fart, the more heart. I'd love to hear from you guys. Go ahead, Bob. Nogasaki, never forget.

Starting point is 00:58:22 Okay, I'm writing that down, that's awesome. Another one I have is Tutut is cute. Tutut is cute? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's good. Santino, anything over there? Let it go, that's your ho. Oh, okay.

Starting point is 00:58:35 Bang, bang, open your mouth. Right, Bobby, I'm loving the stuff that you're coming to. Thank you so much. Yeah. Thank you. I would be a good, an ad know, I would be a good, an ad agency, I would be really good. Plop, plop, hope your heart doesn't stop. Right.

Starting point is 00:58:49 Love ya. That's pretty good. Plop, plop, the love don't stop. Plop, plop, my love don't stop. Yeah. My wife is cute. Let's come up with a different thing about like, you know, instead of like, hey, can you pee on me?

Starting point is 00:59:03 Come up with a different terminology for that. I just don't know what else I would say if I was not always saying, hey, can you pee on me? Come up with a different terminology for that. I just don't know what else I would say if I was not always saying, hey, can you pee on me? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I say that so much. Yeah. Can you water the, can you water the belly? Can you water my soil patch?

Starting point is 00:59:17 Oh, like you're trying to find a way to like say it in public so that you're like, hey, later when we get home. Yeah, can you water the hill? Right. Like my belly. Can you can you water the hill? Right. Like my belly. Can you fill up my Brita? That's pretty good.

Starting point is 00:59:28 What about poop? You can't come with one? Too far. I don't like them. All right. Okay, I don't either. I'm fine. Do you, have you ever been peed on?

Starting point is 00:59:41 I'm not gonna answer that. I'm not gonna answer that. I'm not gonna answer that. Look to the board. It says yes. Oh, is this your game show? It was accidental. Welcome back to the game show. It was accidental.

Starting point is 00:59:52 It's called Look at the Board. Yeah. Broad, look at the board. Look at the board, Broad. So, if you're- First up, Chinese guy blonde lady. First question out of the gate. Welcome to my game show.

Starting point is 01:00:04 It's called Look at the Board. Thank you so much for having me. Thank you so much for having me too. I'm from Minnesota, Minnesota and I'm a college engineer. I'm Lisa Gilroy I am a dental hygienist and I'm from Toronto Ontario. I didn't say my name, Toot Manangani. Thanks Toot Manangani thanks Lisa Gilroy thank you for being here on my show. Nice to meet you Lisa Gilroy. Hands on behind you one hand behind your back one hand on a buzzer show. Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you, Lisa Gilroy. Hands on behind you, one hand behind your back, one hand on the buzzer. Okay. Get ready to buzz in. All right.

Starting point is 01:00:27 In 1947, the inflation rate had adjusted from the previous year from 2%, 3.5%. True or false, ding and? Ding. True. Lisa, true. False. Look at the board.

Starting point is 01:00:39 Ding, true. Lisa wins. Oh fuck, I would have got that wrong. You're a good one, Lisa. I would have got that wrong. Lisa wins a brand new car. All right. I would like to double roll and big guess them.

Starting point is 01:00:49 Double roll, big guess them. Oh, shit, okay. I'm surface wearing. Bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing. Yeah, yeah. Listen up, Toot Tootie. Here we go. Newt Tocani.

Starting point is 01:00:57 Newt Tocani. Thank you. Is a popular dessert in which country? Bing. Bing Lisa. I was first. Bing Lisa. Thailand. first. Bing Lisa. Thailand.

Starting point is 01:01:06 Look at the board. Eh. Yeah. Toot to gani. Yeah. It's from my mom's house. Look at the board. Bing, bing, bing.

Starting point is 01:01:15 Yay. Yay. I'd like to double or nothing my P-stack. You really wanna double or nothing my P-stack? I think at this point, Andrew, it's all or nothing. Fill up that brim up. Here we go, hands on the buzzer, hand behind the back. Toot toot, goodie and Lisa.

Starting point is 01:01:29 This is for the final up, double up the P-step. Jerry Seinfeld came into... Bing. Oh, Lisa. What's the deal? Look at the board. Yay! Yay!

Starting point is 01:01:42 Oh my God, oh my God. I just don't know how she would come up with that. So we put her. She won, you lost. Now loser's statement, look into the camera, loser's statement. Go ahead when you're ready, loser's statement from Toot Doggani. What does that mean?

Starting point is 01:01:55 Look in the camera, loser's statement. It's time for the loser's statement. Permission to boo? Oh. Permission to boo granted. Boo! Love it. Boo!

Starting point is 01:02:02 Love it again. Fuck you! Oh, she's going for a fuck you double down. Fuck you. I lost and I was relying on the money to save my family's business and this is gonna be a triple suicide tonight at the new Kukutugani's house.

Starting point is 01:02:17 Well, that's it for us tonight at Look at the Board. We wanna thank Lisa Gere for being a part of here in Lutugani, Kukutugani. In fact, in fact. Uh oh. Oh! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! That's it for us tonight at Look at the Board. We want to thank Lisa Gere for being a part of here in Lutagani and Coop-Tagani. In fact, in fact. Uh oh. Oh!

Starting point is 01:02:27 Boo! Wow. Way to go, Toot. What a great newt, dude. If you ever repeat that again, I'm gonna get... What? Slow down. No, fuck you, dude.

Starting point is 01:02:39 Too cute, dude. Dude, you can slow down. Really good new game show. Thank you. Yeah, yeah. It had nothing to do with pee though. Mm, not everything does. That's true.

Starting point is 01:02:49 Not everything. My grandfather used to say that. Not everything. Everything involves pee. And I go, what are you saying that for me? You know. What a great part, like imparting that kind of wisdom. What was that phrase your grandpa used to say to you?

Starting point is 01:03:02 I was trying to think of something genuine. But you were so young too. Do you really remember? I mean, he was so young when he was alive. My grandpa? Yeah. Yeah, I guess he used to say weasels are for tits and hoes are for bitches.

Starting point is 01:03:13 Love, that's iconic. Yeah, that's really good. What am I, one of his favorite phrases? Yeah. Well, that's great. Yeah. You want me to do mine? But now do it with his teeth in.

Starting point is 01:03:26 Oh yeah. I love you so much. You're my favorite grandchild. Wow. Can I do with a toothless and not toothless? Please. All right. Hungry.

Starting point is 01:03:39 Wow. And what did he say? Put the teeth back on. Don't touch me there ever again. Oh wow Yeah, yeah, those like dentures that make you speak English My grandfather was Bilingual oh, but it's highly educated person. I come from a line of educated people. I don't doubt that Why did the his dentures and make him switch languages? That was what I was asking and that's the thing

Starting point is 01:04:03 We're going after bilinguals bisexuals if you're bi bye bye yeah okay they're very good impression because if I said it in Korean the joke wouldn't be there let's hear it I don't know if I can say it. Say it! Gochu no manja, yeah. That was good. Yeah? Yeah, it worked. I just said penis don't touch. Penis don't touch.

Starting point is 01:04:35 What's penis? Gochu. No, genuinely, what's penis? Gochu. Gochu. No, like what's the word mean? Gochu. What do you mean what does the word mean? Penis. It's a male genitalia the word mean penis? It's a male genitalia. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa

Starting point is 01:04:48 Kid show, okay I'll tell you some other Korean nasty words if you want to know pangu pangu pangu what's pangu? You know pangu's pangu's uh, wait pangu fart. No. Yes. Yeah fart Very good Boji Boji. Yeah, what's Boji? You know Boji is blowjob. No, you know what it fart. Oh, that's okay. Very good. Oh. Pungle. Bogey. Bogey, yeah. What's bogey? You know what bogey is?

Starting point is 01:05:07 Blowjob? No. You know what it is? Ooh, boat. Bogey's bogey. I can put it in a sentence. Yeah, butthole. My bogey's back and you're gonna get in trouble. No.

Starting point is 01:05:16 Hey now, hey now, my bogey's back. That girl from Texas had a big bogey. Yeah, it's a vagina, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Just keep putting it pretty, you know. What was butthole? Butthole was what? Gondingi.

Starting point is 01:05:28 Gondingi. Yeah. I love gondingi. You ever had that with kimchi? Yeah, it's very good. Gondingi. It tastes like calamari you wouldn't even notice. Dude, have you been to a good Korean barbecue spot?

Starting point is 01:05:37 Yeah. Which one? Which one? Castle barbecue? I used to live right by there. It's not good. I like it. Chosun.

Starting point is 01:05:44 Chosun is the best. Sookbul Jeep or Park. Park is also good. Yeah. We're taking, we gotta take you. Okay. Yeah, and your husband. Wait, why'd you do this face? Oh, does he have a disability?

Starting point is 01:05:54 I thought he did. Is that why you did that face? Yeah, no, he's nice. You never met him, Bobby. I know, but I've seen him online. I never met him. But we'll bib him if he needs to be bibbed. Every time I say husband, I make that face.

Starting point is 01:06:04 Oh, okay. You hate husbands. Yeah, you will if mothers against drunk driving Bobby's against how's good husband? Oh Koreans against husbands Yeah, hmm. Anyway, it's gonna get just is breast. Yeah. Yeah, you don't tell us what it means Just use it in a sentence where all the other words are English and all right. All right, man I bought my house 20 years ago, man, but it went down in price because of the gum do you use? Dummies I'm afraid to say yeah. Yeah. Yes, so don't say it Mortgage rates, it means mortgage rates. Yes. Yes. Yes. What are you? Yes, I Think I think it's unfortunately unfortunately, referring to little people. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:06:46 Oh, really? Wait, why would that have any effect on the housing market? Well, because these houses, there are so many of them in one house. There's like 50 of them in there. I ate these mussels the other day and made my donko muk burn. Wait, is this a new word?

Starting point is 01:06:58 Yeah, donko muk. Tip of penis. Butthole. Butthole. So, kundi is the cheek part? Yeah. Yeah, donko muk is the hole. Butthole. Butthole. Oh. So, kunding is the cheek part. Yeah. Yeah, donko muk is the hole.

Starting point is 01:07:07 Everybody knows it. Google Lisa Gilroy for us right there. Yeah. Don't do that. Let's find out the best picture. Let's see the best photo she's got on the internet. No, don't do that. Yeah, I wanna see the first one.

Starting point is 01:07:15 Literally don't. She's vulnerable. She's vulnerable. Wait, what's Mad TV? Oh, that's so funny. Lisa Gilroy. What'd you, time out, hold on. Did you Google Lisa Gilroy hot?

Starting point is 01:07:24 Stop. I guess if you write hot after sometimes it'll be like cleavage shot. Oh, Carlos. That's fucking gross. That's gross. Go to the first one. She's already been aired. Let's wait the first one.

Starting point is 01:07:34 Look what I'm doing. Okay. Rating it. Okay, what's going on here? I'll press it. Huh? Do it. I'll press it.

Starting point is 01:07:42 Do it. My dad works for them. Yeah, yeah. I'm sure he does, fucking son of a pig. You're being, what do you think? You're contemplating something, right? Can we ask if you talk, right? Stop this! Like, I'm over it. Watch this.

Starting point is 01:07:54 That's what this is like. I'm over it, I'm unaffected. Click this, click the next one, click it. Keep going through them, ready? Stop this. Watch this, watch, go to, start with the first one and then click those after I say the word, ready? Over the first one.

Starting point is 01:08:04 This is nightmare, Elm Street. Ready? Yeah. And farted. Farted. Farted. Yeah, yeah. Farted.

Starting point is 01:08:12 Farted. Yeah. Thought about farting. Yeah. Farted. Okay, that's enough. Definitely farted! Yeah.

Starting point is 01:08:20 Didn't fart, didn't fart. That's actually good. That's a great photo. That's a cute one right there. That's very cute. Oh, farted. Yeah, look at. Fart. That's actually a good, that's a great photo. That's a cute one right there, that's very cute. Oh fart. Yeah, look at. Farting on the street. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 01:08:28 I'm in Mexico City, I'm bi-cultural. Farting on the street. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ba-da-dee-da-dee-da-dee-da. Yeah, too much? Let's go to the last photo. Oh, by the way, you were great in Jury Duty. Thank you.

Starting point is 01:08:43 Wow. Yeah, you know who's the, I just did a show, a TV show with the judge, you know who the judge is, right? Alan Barinholtz. That's right, Ike Barinholtz's dad. Yeah. Oh, whoa, really? Yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 01:08:55 Wow, nepotism. What's this here? A little nepotism there. A little nepo, baby. You have little legs it looks like. That was a shoot for a magazine. What magazine? It was like a little-

Starting point is 01:09:05 Fart, Bed Fart Girl? Bedfartgirl.com. Have you ever been in a magazine? I'm sure you're a subscriber. I am actually, monthly. Have you ever been in a magazine? Have I ever been in a magazine? Who the fuck is gonna put me in a magazine?

Starting point is 01:09:17 Exactly, me either. I feel the same way, but they put this piece of shit on? What do you mean, she's cool and smart and funny? Oh, that's right, my bad. She's got all the jazz, dude. Look at her. Oh my god. If someone takes weird pictures of you, they'll put them in a magazine. cool and smart and funny. Oh, that's right, my bad. She's got all the jazz, dude. Look at her. Oh my God. If someone takes weird pictures of you,

Starting point is 01:09:27 they'll put them in a magazine. That's how it works. No, no, no. That's so cute. That's not why you're in a magazine. Bobby, stand up right now and flash me your tits and I'll take a picture and I guarantee you that same magazine will buy it.

Starting point is 01:09:35 Go on. What magazine is that? 1883. I don't know what that is. That's from 1883? Yeah. Okay, hold. Oh, oh, oh. Hold on, let me put it in portrait mode. That's from 1883? Yeah. Okay, hold. Oh, oh, oh.

Starting point is 01:09:46 Hold on, let me put it in portrait mode. That'll make it good. Okay, perfect, thank you. Okay, Santino, do you want anything to submit to the magazine? Yeah. If I don't get in a magazine, we're done. Okay.

Starting point is 01:09:57 Ready? Yep. Just a little cheese? Yeah. Oh, oh, it's a weird, okay. Yeah. That's good. Is that a good photo? Yeah. Oh, oh, it's a weird, okay. Yeah. That's good.

Starting point is 01:10:05 You want a good photo? Yeah. Google Bobby Lee in a magazine. Yeah, I'm not in a fucking magazine. Yeah, and then go Bobby Lee magazine. No, not the magazine. Wait, it was already Googled so much. Magazine, magazine.

Starting point is 01:10:20 Bobby, is that your computer back there? Yeah. Nope. Cause all the links are purple. Oh, you're in the observer. That's you. They put any Asian person and that's what comes up. Give me the second photo.

Starting point is 01:10:30 Yeah, not me. That's third photo. That's a great show. Oh, the fourth one is me. I was on a magazine. Wait. Yeah. What is that?

Starting point is 01:10:41 That's Korean. Korean. Bobby Lee gets HIV wish. Is that what that says KoreaM. KoreaM. Bobby Lee gets HIV wish. Is that what that says? Yeah, his wish. Oh, it conceives it was covered by your bracelet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Who would wish for that?

Starting point is 01:10:53 And the girls with the very far left in that photo I worked with after that. Oh, worked with, pervert? No, she was in my, I did these Korean dramas on Mad TV. What's MADtv? It's a little sketch show that was on for a little bit. Never heard of it. Okay, well.

Starting point is 01:11:12 That's nice of you guys to run magazines. Oh, there's Bitcoin Bobby. I'm just kidding Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, look at me, Bobby. I'm not gonna look at you, because that really hurts. Huge fan of MADtv. No, you're not. Yes, I am. What's the third, fourth, what's that one right there?

Starting point is 01:11:21 Not that one, that one, what is that? Probably the band. The band, Bobby Lee, yeah, yeah. Go to that one where there? Not that one. That one. What is that? Probably the band. The band, Bobby Lee. Yeah, yeah. Go to that one where I'm holding the- Your Raya picture? Yeah. That's fun.

Starting point is 01:11:32 Okay, anyway. Jen Rosenstein. Andrew Santino Magazine. Let's go. I'm not in a fucking magazine. I told you that. I've never done a magazine. That's my phase, okay?

Starting point is 01:11:42 There's no, I'm not in a fucking magazine. I've not seen anything for Andrew here. That's right. Wow. Oh, yes I was. Where? Yes I was. Down to the left where I'm in the golf cart. I was in a magazine.

Starting point is 01:11:57 Oh, that's nice. Golf digest. Yeah, digest golf. That's cool. Yeah, you're in an ad magazine too, you lied. I forgot that I did that. Yeah, I forgot about the Korean M, I'm sorry. Okay, so I didn't lie, I forgot, you forgot magazine to you lied. I forgot that I did that. Yeah, I forgot about the Korean I'm sorry. Okay, so I didn't lie. I forgot you forgot too. Okay, we for both forgot. I'm sorry. What does it say?

Starting point is 01:12:10 That you have a celebrity group chat. Do you know about Bobby? Who's in it dude name someone? You know, I'll tell you if they're in it ready. I'm Carrie. Yep Lisa he's not go on Lisa. You think there's big, famous people that I'll guess though? Yeah. Really? Oh yeah. Quentin Tarantino. Nailed it.

Starting point is 01:12:30 Lisa, can I be honest with you? Yes, please, Bobby. I'm gonna be real with you. Yeah. And it's gonna start a fight between us. Okay. Okay. His group and his demographic of people that he hangs out with is,

Starting point is 01:12:44 is star studded. Oh, okay. And I don't have anybody. They all have studs on their jackets. Little stud stars. I mean, I can name some names, but the places he goes with the people that he goes to. How come he doesn't invite you, Bobby?

Starting point is 01:12:56 Look at this. Who's in the front row of a fucking basketball game? Celtics game. You know, the Menendez brothers did that. That's exactly right. Yeah, and they are famous. And they were on basketball cards. I know, Menendez brothers did that. That's exactly right. Yeah, and they are famous. And they were on basketball cards. I know, I wish.

Starting point is 01:13:07 Yeah, anyway. So Bobby, how come you don't hang out with the star studded crew? Maybe because I'm not a fucking star. You are a star. You fucking piece of shit, man. Hey. That was rude.

Starting point is 01:13:23 That was bad, am I bad? I'm trying to tell you you're sorry brother brother through sister thank you hey brother brother okay now we gotta get I have to leave now literally I gotta go I gotta I gotta show I literally at 740 literally I gotta do my set I gotta go I know you can't thank you for a for being a bad friend. Say that in the thing. Thank you for being a bad friend. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:13:47 Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby. It stands for cat way. Cat way. Cat way. Wow. It stands for cat way. Not gonna do it. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:14:01 Bobby. I don't understand it. Bobby, look at me. I don't understand this game. Explain it to me. The improv. What cat way? I don't know look at me. I don't understand me. Explain it to me the improv what that way I don't know about six pounds. Yeah Fuck you guys Yeah, oh it smells like up dog in here Bobby what's up dog? not much you

Starting point is 01:14:19 See I fell for it dude, and I feel shame. Uh oh, up dog!

Bad Friends - More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.