Bad Friends - Mr. Bond & Odd Job

Episode Date: October 11, 2021

Merch: http://badfriendsmerch.com Thank you to our Sponsors: https://www.doordash.com code: BADFRIENDS2021 &  https://www.liquid-iv.com code: BADFRIENDS & http://hellotushy.com/badfriends & http://shipstation.com code: BADFRIENDS YouTube Subscribe: http://bit.ly/ 0:00 Bobby and Andrew Roll their Rs 1:50 The Most Attractive James Bond 9:43 Andrew Bond and Bobby Odd Job 15:15 Midnight Mass and Midnight Gospel 23:32 Henry Thomas Moving Audition for ET 31:12 Bobby Oversleeps During Splitting Up Together 34:46 Andrew and Bobby's Subtle Hand Gestures 47:06 Levitating South Korean Presidential Candidate 50:45 Darcy Oak and Real Magic 1:03:15 Is Rudy a Bat? 1:07:43 New York Subway's Viral Video More Bobby Lee TigerBelly: https://www.youtube.com/tigerbelly Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bobbyleelive Twitter: https://twitter.com/bobbyleelive Tickets: https://bobbyleelive.com More Andrew Santino Whiskey Ginger: https://www.youtube.com/andrewsantinowhiskeyginger Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino Twitter: https://Twitter.com/cheetosantino Tickets: http://www.andrewsantino.com More Bad Friends iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-friends/id1496265971 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/badfriendspod Twitter: https://twitter.com/badfriends_pod Official Website: http://badfriendspod.com Opening Credits and Branding: https://www.instagram.com/joseph_faria & https://www.instagram.com/jenna_sunday Credit Sequence Music: http://bit.ly/RocomMusic // https://www.instagram.com/rocom Character Design: https://www.instagram.com/jeffreymyles Bad Friends Mosaic Sign: https://www.instagram.com/tedmunzmosaicart Produced by: George Kimmel & Bryce Hallock - 7EQUIS Podcast Producers: Andres Rosende & Pete Forthun Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots? White people and Asian people. You two are disgusting. You two are something. We're bad friends. We got another Mexican in the studio. I don't think he's, he's not Mexican.

Yes, he is Mexican. Because his name is Carlos. What's your last name, Carlos? Herrera. That's, that's not Jules, that was Andrea sing Herrera. Herrera. Herrera. It's Herrera.

No, it's Herrera. Carlos Herrera. I understand that, right? Carlos. Carlos. Let's say this guy named Toshima Fufuki. Let's say this guy named Toshima Fufuki. Let's say this guy named Toshima Fufuki. Toshima Fufuki gets adopted by, you know what I mean, white people.

He's still Toshima Fufuki. I know, but he's still white though. If he was raised in a white house in like Kalamazoo, Michigan. He's still Toshima Fufuki. He's still, he's still going to be Japanese. Oh, that's true. Yeah, you can't take that away. Can you roll your r's?

Let me hear it. Say Carlos. Carlos. Carlos. I can't do it with my tongue, but I can do it with my throat. Carlos. Carlos. Carlos. Carlos. Herrera. Herrera. Herrera.

Do it. Do it. Say Carlos. Carlos. Herrera. Herrera. Herrera. That's pretty good. How do you do the tongue? Carlos. How do you do it though? I can't do it. I can't roll my tongue. Can you go like this? Herrera. Herrera. Herrera.

I have a fat down syndrome tongue. You have a downy tongue. I have a downy tongue. Herrera. Herrera. You can't do that at all? I can't do it. I've never been able to do it. She can do it. Carlos. Carlos. That's perfect dude. You guys are bragging man. Well, we got a new one. Guess what I saw last night?

Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada. Bind, J-Jane's Bind. James Bond. It was really good. Yeah? Yeah, it was really good man. I loved it. I realized when I was watching, I could never be James Bond. Danny Craig. Yeah. Now, do you think he's the best James Bond? Yeah. You think over Connery.

Yeah. Really? Yeah. Wow. What do you say, fans? Because. The best one. You think Daniel Craig is better. I don't look, I never looked at Connery.

Me, I was a kid. I never said, I would suck that guy's dick. You wouldn't suck. I would suck his dick. No. Why is everything gay? Like, why does it always go to there? That's a you thing.

I know, I got stopped doing that. I know. So I never looked at Sean Connery and went, I would like, hug him. You're sexually attracted to Daniel Craig. I'm not sexually attracted to him, but he's just one of those commanding guys that would be like, you know.

All right, do you know who these guys are? I know the latest James Bond. He's hot. He's hot. Oh, so you like him. You think Daniel Craig is hot? Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

See, he is, he's handsome. Okay, the best one looking one was Roger Moore. Right, he's traditionally the most sex, like the most sexy. Yeah, Roger Moore was. I don't know, look at that. I know. He's a mega babe, this guy.

Yeah, I know, but his face is old. Look, go to Roger Moore. Boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing. Go to Roger Moore. Roger Moore. Remember Daltry too, right? Yeah, but Roger Moore, he had more of like a James Bond. You mean?

No. He's not handsome at all to you. No, that's a bad photo. Switch the photo. How was that a bad, go to the fourth one in, fourth. Oh, yeah, that's a great photo. No. He's not handsome.

He's handsome. He's not handsome. Wow. Wow. What about Roger Daltry? That's his name? No, what was his name? What was the fourth one?

There was one. There was another one. That did one movie. No, that's, that's the guy from the hood. Yes, how about this guy? Is he good at James Bond? Is that the guy from the hood? No, no, no.

Timothy Dalton. No, but how about this? Is this guy from the hood? Can you imagine that they were like, Roger, we're thinking about offering you James Bond. No shit. No shit, never. You're so fucking ugly.

Look at how long that chin is. Why the long face, Roger? He must have got it tucked. Look at the first picture. It's almost like he pulled his, he's almost like a space shuttle. He's a combo of the role, right? It's like, oh, I'm James Bond, right?

Teenage Westline. That would actually be cool. That would be cool. When he's beating someone up. Teenage, yeah. Teenage Westline. Oh, yeah. Yeah, he could sing while he's shooting.

Yeah, that's sick. All right, show them, show, show, yeah, Timothy Dalton. Dalton? Is it Dalton? Timothy Dalton is the name? Yeah, that's it. That's another one.

All right, what do you think about this one? Is this guy a handsome Bond? Yeah. Oh, you like this guy? Interesting. That was a good one. Do you like his butt chin? Yeah, it's cute.

There was only four then, right? There was Sean Connery, this guy. Dalton did two movies, right? I think one or two. One. Roger Moore did a bunch. Right. And then Daniel's done three or something.

Daniel's done five. Maybe five, yeah, yeah. Yeah, he's done a bunch. I'm Pierce Brosnan. Oh, Pierce Brosnan. Oh, yeah, Pierce. Don't forget Pierce Brosnan. All right, bring up the Pierce.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you know, Pierce Brosnan has a, he's got a, what is it called, Prince William? What's it called when you pierce your penis? Feels good. It's called, it feels good? Yeah. He's got one.

Do you think he's? He's hot. He's so hot. Really? Come on. You know what I love about him too? That he's just, No, but his wife is like, you know, a heavier woman

and he doesn't care. What does that even mean? We've done this before on this show. I'm sorry, is that bad? Actually type in Pierce Brosnan, wife heavier woman doesn't even care. I feel so gross saying it. That picture is not fun for either of us.

Yeah, this is like a, yeah. This is like, I mean, it's 90 now. I know, but nobody wants to have pictures of them on, how about this? No more pictures on the beach. Yeah. Do you know what they just, I just saw a photo of Leonardo DiCaprio on the beach.

Oh, I love that one. The beach photo, there's a new one. There's a new one? It's even sadder. Oh, I like the old one. Just do on beach. It's like the saddest thing. No, that's the, no, that's the old one, I think.

Oh, the new one is the far right, maybe? This one. Yeah, what? Yeah, that's fine. No, it is, but why? He doesn't want that on the internet. Take the cap off. You're in the water, dog.

No, it's, no, no, no. You like the cap? I think he, look, he's cool. Cap is cool. Yeah. But I mean, it's all. It's kind of like a Von Dutch hat too, you know what I mean?

He's, that's a, right? Yeah. And he's got a little tan line in the bottom. Well, it's because he's burnt. First of all, he's burnt. Burn as fuck, yeah. You didn't think a guy like that could burn? Yeah.

Like go back to the previous page, Pierce, Pierce's. Oh, that one, no, no, no, but that one right there, that's the old one, right? Where he's hanging out with, what's his name? Yeah. Who is that, by the way? That's the guy from Speed Racer, Emile Hirsch. Emile Hirsch, yeah.

Emile Hirsch, he's gone, right? He, he died. No, he's not, he's alive. Oh, he is? Yeah, Emile Hirsch. I never knew anymore who dies. Yeah. Anyway, you don't want those pictures on.

Go back real quick to the page with Pierce Brosnan, and I gotta tell you, even still. I feel bad for even saying it. I know, but sorry out there. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I shouldn't say it, but we're all thinking it when you look at that photo. What? Oh, God, our size are hurt.

Teeth. Her ass? Oh, her ass, teeth. Look at the size of her teeth. I mean, she has huge teeth. Yeah, she has big teeth. I mean, those gotta be so heavy, those teeth gotta weigh you down. Yeah.

There's no way she has never herniated a disc like me. But her stomach is as big as her teeth. You see, what I did was I replaced tits with teeth, so what you would do is replace stomach with another S, a body part that was S that would make sense. I'll be rewind it. All right, I mean, look at the size of her teeth. Her toes are as big as her.

No. Her toes are as big as her teeth. I'm replacing her stomach. S with an S. Oh, with an S. Toes with teeth, tits with toes. All right, all right, go ahead. I mean, look at the size of her teeth.

All right, look at the size of her sack, her sack. Look at the size of her sack. If we call her stomach a sack. Yeah, you got a big sack. All right, give me another one chance. Look at the size of this girl's. Look at her sockets. Her eye sockets.

Oh, her sockets big. Yeah, her eye sockets are big. I mean, that just looks, there's no way that's comfortable. That looks painful, and I mean that. I mean, her teeth? Her teeth look painful. Yeah.

So wait a minute. Without telling us and every, don't spoiler. Is the movie worth going to see? Yeah. It is, it's still good. Real good. And the reason why it's good is I don't know what's going on.

You're totally confused. I don't know what's going on, I don't know who's who. I don't know what the factions and the organizations. I don't know who M is. I don't know who Mulpenny is. No, money, money, money, yeah, Mulpenny. I don't know who Mulpenny is. I don't know who.

Brad Williams was Mulpenny. Q is. You don't know, Q, you? No, I just, you forget about this stuff, so you're just kind of going. George is Q, you know that, right? He's Q and all. When it comes to here, wait, wait, wait, wait.

When it comes to this podcast, you think you're fucking 007? 100%. I hate the fact that you fucking designated yourself as 007. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What am I then? What's a little guy in GoldenEye

with the short little midget, the best character you could play, because he was so low to the ground. That's so fucking fucked up. What was his name? Yeah. No, I'm the fucking Japanese dude with the fucking hat. No, you're not.

Why? What's the guy from fucking GoldenEye 007, the Nintendo 64 game that was low to the ground? Carlos knows. Carlos? Odd job? Odd job, you're odd job, you're odd job. Look, I'm odd job.

I don't like how excited you are, dude. That's fucking you. Yeah, that's who I am. You're 100% odd job. Yeah, I'm odd job. And he was so good to get in the game because he was so low to the ground, you couldn't kill him.

I am odd job. I am odd job. That is 100% you, and that's me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's Pete. That's you, me, and Pete. Yeah. And who is-

She's cute. She's cute, 100%. Yeah, she's like the weapons person. Yeah, yeah. Well, who is fancy? I don't know, but I don't want to look, can I not be odd job? You have to be.

This couldn't line up any better. He doesn't have a prevalent part in the movie. Yes, he does. He's in one movie. You get what, 20 movies? I'm in one movie. It's kind of similar to real life. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Hello, Hollywood. All right, so. You're odd job. There's no way to get out of this. I'm sorry. Right, because he's a fat Asian guy, me too. Bing, bing, bing. What else do you want?

All right. Did you go with him? Did you see? No, no, I saw with Gene. Oh, you did? My buddy Gene, yeah. Do you have no interest in going to see stuff like that? No, but I want to watch Venom.

Oh, that's because you have a crush on T.H. Yeah, you do. The first one was weird. I still, I liked it. But I thought it was a little weird. I liked Tom Hardy a lot. He's great. A lot.

Yeah, he's great. So I think this one will be better, maybe. I think they probably worked out some kinks. Yeah. They're doing a Matrix 9 too. Do you see the? What? The new Matrix?

No. Yeah. They're doing a new Matrix? They already did. It's coming on December. Who is it? Keanu. It is?

Yeah, yeah. And is Lawrence Fishburne in it? No. Really? No. Who is it? But his porn star daughter's in it. What?

Oh. What? No. Wait, is it? Yeah, who's in it? The same girl, the lady in it? What's the lady's name? Hm.

Carrie Amos. Carrie Amos. Carrie Amos. Carrie Amos. Yeah, her. Carrie Amos is in it. Who else is in it? Well, from the trailer, I saw Keanu, Carrie Amos, Keanu.

That's all I could recognize. Did the trailer look good? It looked pretty good. But it's almost, but they're back in the Matrix. Like, Keanu's like, older now. He's like, you know what I mean? I got a job. Well, like, did you watch Bill and Ted, the new one?

Was it good? I watched it on an airplane. Bad. And at the beginning, I was like, this is going to suck. Yeah. And then at some point, I was like, this is exactly what it's supposed to be. It's supposed to be fun and fake and over the top and kitschy.

Right. I liked it. I actually thought it was fun. I watched it on a plane, but it was a plane movie. So, you know, I don't know. It's not going to win an award. What are you doing? By the way, do you know Madonna was offered

that role in the Matrix? And she turned it down. With the Carrie Amos apart? She said no, no chance. She thought the movie was going to bomb. She was like, no one's going to watch it. Well, Canada was fourth on the list. On the list.

I think they went out to Johnny Depp first. Tom Cruise. Tom Cruise, a bunch of people, and they're like, nah. Idiots. I can't believe that. But you know what's cool is like Sean Connery, right? He turned down Gandalf. Unreal.

And then so this is what he is. So I swear to God, this has happened. This is what happened. So he gets called. He's a Gandalf. Fuck that. You know what I mean? Give me an Oscar.

Fuck that. Right. Then fucking Lord of the Rings becomes a hit. So he calls his agent and goes, I need, you know what I mean? I need something like some sort of superhero type of sci-fi. So that's when he did League of Extraordinary Man. No, I'm being really heat. He thought that it just doesn't matter what.

You just got to do one. You just got to do one, right? And then that fucking ate it. Yeah, yeah. So he just, is he dead? He's dead? Yes. Yeah, he's dead, yeah.

We should go. We should play that game. Who's dead? Remember that? We were so bad at that. You and I were like 40% on who was dead. No, I know who's dead now. Really?

Yeah, I've been reading. Are you doing more reading? Because when you turn 50, you look up who's dead. Because you're next? Yeah, I think I'm next. What do you think it would say at the, do you think you would get to, well, you wouldn't do, you wouldn't get the Academy Awards memorandum.

Would you get it at the Emmys that you think? Have you ever been on a show that's been nominated? I don't like your tone. I haven't either. I'm not, I'm not, I'm just saying, I wouldn't make it. I know, but I just don't like your tone. Would you make it on the Emmys in memory? No.

You wouldn't. I wouldn't even, even if Comedy Central had one, I wouldn't make that one. You know, sometimes they put up like a gaffer on the Academy and you're like, who did that guy know? Like also it's like, because Norm McDonald's is still up there. Yeah.

Rest in peace. Yeah. How long do you think yours would be up there? At the Comedy Store? Yeah. Probably like split between the early show and the late show that have to take a time. No, really, how long?

Honestly, a day, a two days? I don't think so. You'd be a week or? A week? Yeah. You'd get a month? I think I would get a week. We'd both get a week?

Who gets longer than a week then? I don't know. I think legend, bigger people, I don't know. But I've been, but see, Norm wasn't like always, like he performed there, what, 10 times? He wasn't a store guy. I've been there, I've performed in that room. Your whole life.

I'm not even kidding, probably 6,000 times. Well, between that and San Diego. Yeah. Thousands of times. You would, I think, what if they give you a week and a day because of your special? I want six months. That's insane.

No, I want six months. Well, they don't even put up the names anymore, do they? Do they put up names? I feel like now the store doesn't even display names who's there. I haven't seen, I haven't been there for three weeks. No, they haven't done that in a long time, no. It's usually now best of, or can I just say another thing that I saw?

What did you see? Midnight Mass. Oh, the movie Midnight Mass? It's a TV show on Netflix. Oh, Duncan Trussell's thing. No, but what? Is that not his thing? No, that's not his thing, man.

Do you guys know what Midnight Mass is? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, Duncan's not in it. What? Thank you, Carlos. No, no, no, what's Duncan's thing called that is called? It's, I don't even know who.

You know Duncan Trussell? Oh, yeah. Look up Duncan Trussell on Netflix show real fast, just so I know I'm not crazy. Yeah. What is his called? Midnight Gospel? Sorry, it was so fucking far off.

Midnight Mass, all you guys can suck my dick. It sounds like the same thing. I wasn't thinking you over anything. I just never fucking heard of it. Yeah, but the way you came at me when I said you, it sounded like it wasn't even close. How do you attack us when I didn't do it at all? Yeah, you did.

You were like, you made it sound like it was so fucking off. All right, so what was Midnight Mass? Was it good? So you fucked it up. Was it good? Jules, have you seen this? I'm planning to watch it. Yeah, plan on it.

So she does nothing. I don't know what you do. I don't know who you are to the show. People just love you. Yeah, they're wrong. They're obsessed. All right, so what is this? So anyway, hi.

I was going to talk about it. Hi. Can I say hi first? Hello. Let's start our energy over. I think that's what it is. I'm having so much fun. I think Carlos coming in.

You know what I mean? It's fun. Tell me about Midnight Mass. I will in my own time. I don't like being thrown or pushed into something, OK? So I just want to talk about my relation to you right now. Right. And I want to say, dude, that you're

one of my best friends. You're one of my best friends. I'm being real. Me too. And I want to say this also, how's your family? Good? How's your family? Good.

It's good. Great. And everything's fine in the house? Yeah. Good. The dog's healthy. Oh, I forgot about the dog. He died?

It's a girl. OK. Yeah, she's fine. Congratulations. Yeah, I was going to say. She's, yeah. So you have a good week? Just let me do what I.

It's my podcast, too. I had an OK. It's my podcast, too. I'm trying to lead you back to Midnight Mass. And I will do it in my own way. Yes, ma'am. OK. I did have a good week.

Good. And highlighted. I got sick and my back. Oh, that's right. Got messed up again. What'd you get? Had an infection. Midnight Mass is, that's all I wanted to do at my own time.

OK. OK. It's one of those shows where you turn, what you, when you turn it on, you go, I don't know what this is. And I don't think I like it. But it's shot so well. And it's still compelling that you just go through it.

You watch the first one. You're like, because it seems like. Are the actors good? Amazing. Oh, yeah. From cinematography to direction, everything is amazing. But it's one of those feelings of like, is this like lost in the sense that like,

nothing really means anything? You know what I mean? It's just like these mythological scares, something flying in the sky. They never explain it this and that, right? But by the third episode, what happens? I don't want to give it away. But when you're watching it, then you

once you figure out what it is, you go, I love it. Yeah. You know? You really get in. Yeah. So in the beginning, you're like, I don't know what this is. It's there's some weird surreal moments in it and these quirky characters and this and that.

But then after third or fourth episode, when it all goes, you kind of, oh, this is this kind of movie. It's a movie. A TV show. Oh, TV. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How many episodes do you see? And I'm going to give it away now.

Are you going to reveal it? I want it so bad. You can't because it's so new. I know. Do you know any of the actors in it? Like, do you recognize anybody? Yeah, E.T. is in it. I'm Elliot, I mean.

No, Elliot from E.T. Oh, he is? Yeah. What's his name? Henry. Mike Flanagan? No, that's the director and writer. Oh, Mike Flanagan.

Yeah. He does Haunted Hill House, all those, yeah. Everyone was great in it. Especially the main priest, he was amazing. But the show is really good. It's just a slow burn, but I think by the third or fourth episode, you get it. And you're like, this is amazing.

What's that kid's name that was in E.T.? Henry. What the? Is the name Henry? I don't remember. What's his name? They don't know. Elliot.

Elliot was the name. From E.T. Henry Thomas. Henry. Did I say that right? I said Henry, right? You did, you did, yeah. Henry.

Have you seen the tape of him crying to Spielberg? No. You've never seen that on YouTube? I don't want to see that little boy crying. Yeah, do it. It's the best. Oh, his audition? Yeah.

Oh, I bet it's great. He's a great actor. Spielberg is like, I don't want to give it away, but you'll see it's powerful. Did you ever see E.T. kiddo? No. Man, there it is. It's the first one.

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All right. No, no, no, don't play it yet. So I just want to... I'll set it up for Jules. Let's just set it up. Oh yeah, she's never seen the movie. It's not just the auditioning process. Yeah.

So there's probably nine kids, maybe. It's not a cattle call, but they probably have about five. I think at this point, they probably got three. Man, let's go. Two or three. Let's say four. Okay. All right.

I don't want you to win. I know. Yeah. So let's just say three or four. Two or three. Okay, let's go back to two. Probably two. And who knows?

He could have been first, he could be last, he could be in the middle. True. But he probably waited there, right? And it's like, at this point, Spielberg had already done close encounters, jaws, huge director, huge opportunity. So there's a lot of pressure, I think.

Tons. But I think as an adult, you take the pressure on in a different way than kids. Cause they don't know what's at stake. Kind of. We, right? When we were, let's say you're an unknown actor and you're about to audition for Spielberg

and you're poor, right? And then you're like, this could change the trajectory. So all those things coming to play when we go in and read. Yeah, he doesn't have to pay rent. He doesn't, he doesn't think about those things, you know? But I'm sure he still feels a little nervousness, but now he goes in for Steven Spielberg and he reads.

Yeah. And this is what he does. I haven't seen it. The government is bigger than you are, Elliot. And I really, I have all the authority to take him. And I gotta tell you, I'm gonna take him. I can't take him. Well, I'm afraid I have to, son.

Can't take him away is mine. But it's not my choice. The president asked me to come here and get it. I don't care what the president says he's my best friend. And you can't take him away. Well, it's real possible, Elliot, that he'll come back. And you can have him again. But we just wanna talk to him and see where it came from

and try to find out about other planets. And he, he probably is the key to a lot of things that we have to know. But how do I know you're gonna bring him back? Well, I'm afraid, son, I can't guarantee it. I think he's afraid of you. That may be true, but the government tells me what to do and I just follow their orders.

Well, he's lying and he lives with me and he likes me. And he wants to stay here. He likes it here. Well, we wouldn't hurt him or anything. All we wanna do is talk to him. But I don't want you to take him away. You know, I've had to talk to your mom about it. She knows that the government has the right to do it.

And who told you all this? Well, we learned about it. We know that he's somewhere around here. I mean, I do have a search warrant. I could look around the house. Tell me you keep the eye on him. All right, tell me you keep it. That's Spielberg talking.

Well, I'll tell you what. If you let me talk to him for five minutes, I'll tell my boss that you can keep it. Would that be okay with you if I could just talk to him for five minutes? Would you feel better then? Would you be happy if you could keep me? All I had to do was talk to him for five minutes.

That might make your whole day, huh? Might make your whole life, huh? And then he'd be your friend forever. And I wouldn't take him away. Okay, okay, all right. Okay, kid, you got the job. Yeah! Can you believe that?

Okay, kid, you got the job. And then probably two- That's one of the most- But imagine now- Okay, kid, you got the job. The two kids waiting to read. And they're sitting there with their mom, right? Going through, you know?

I don't want you to take him away! I don't want you to take him away! He's my friend! You know, why don't you shed a tear? Mom, I'm gonna do it when I'm in there, okay? Take him away! Take him away! Right?

Spielberg comes out. You guys can go home. What? Right? And then they just get- Do you think they read or- No. Yeah.

Okay, kid, you got the job. If Spielberg said that so confidently, it was like, that was it. It was over. There was a guy that like, so Mork and Mindy. Yeah. When they auditioned Mork. Nanoo, nanoo.

Right, so a guy, an actor wrote a book about this. Mm-hmm. About, he was right after Robin Williams. Oh, to audition? auditioned for Mork. For Mork. Right, so he's at the, you know what I mean, network or whatever, and he's in the lobby.

And, you know, Robin Williams isn't there for an hour. You know what I mean? And like, the walls are shaking, he's killing so bad. And I never read the book, but I can only imagine him going- Wait, wait, this is funny. The guy has the script and the walls are moving as he's reading the script and the laughter.

He's just shaking against him. Yeah, you know what I would say? I go, anybody have a pen? Yeah, here you go. And I would go to the sign-in sheet and just cross my name out. Just go home. And just go home.

That's the kind of thing you couldn't compete. There's no way. It was born, it was his role anyway. Like with- He was born to do that role. That was him. What? Why audition?

Offer. Yeah, but also because I think they just wanted to see him play. Oh, I have a story about Mork and Mindy. I cannot share the actor who told me the story. It's private, but I'll tell the story. But she worked on the show as many people did and was an actor on the show.

And she said, you know, Robin was, you know, he was partied out all the time. Yeah, I love it. And he showed up to set one day and she was new and he comes up and he's like, well, you're gonna be with us. You're gonna be working with us. And he's in character, but they're not rolling.

And then she's like, oh yeah, I'm gonna be working with you. And he goes, ah, yeah, welcome to whatever the land was. I can't remember the name where he was from. What was it called? He was from- Nanu Nanu is all I know. What was it called? Whatever.

He's like, where'd I come from? We did a little bit of this. And he honked her tits. I swear to God. Yeah. And he grabbed her hand and he goes, and some of this, and then smacked himself on the penis with her hand.

And then he goes, good day. And then ran away. She told me the story. I was like, are you fucking serious? She was like, it was weird. It was wild and weird back then. Yeah. He was also laced up on Coke.

I saw a Richard Pryor, he was in a movie and they did behind the scenes. And he's like literally just smoking crap. I mean, back then and all, they just let you do it. Yeah, it was chaos. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was fucking chaos. It was chaos back then.

Smoking. Crap. All right, cut. I mean, imagine that now it's like you're a minute late. Are you kidding me? Fucking, a sag rep will yell at you. If you, like, look, nowadays when I change in the trailer. Yeah.

They, you know, sometimes you're gonna wardrobe changes. You change in front of people. Yeah. I haven't, no, it's not like that anymore. Yeah. They don't even want to see you in your underwear because they're like, what if you get offended that I see you changing?

That all this stuff, it's fucking nuts. Yeah, even I was still in Hollywood when you could do weird stuff. Like I would show up in Michael Rosenbaum's dressing room because we did a movie, that movie. It's a kickin' old school. And we would just, I'd just be naked in there. Right.

Right? Well, you couldn't, you could do it to a guy friend. You still, you can't do that now though. To a guy friend? I had just met him that day. Well, that's weird. You mean, we don't have a rapport. I just kind of was there naked, right?

Okay, that's weird. And you both laugh, right? But my point is, you can't do that now. No. Yeah. No, not now. No. Did I tell you about that one time where I get, what happened to me, I was spilling up together

where I, I think I must have told you, where I had a six o'clock in the morning call time, I have to tell you this? No. I had six in the morning call time and I had this day where it was like just a conversation scene between me and Jenna Fisher, right? So she had a six, 5.530 in the morning

because she's a girl. Yeah. And they do makeup. So it's like 1030. You're late. No, I'm asleep. My God. I'm asleep, right?

At home. When I was living on my beachwood condo, right? And I hear someone in my fucking living room, right? I go, what the fuck? I think I grabbed the katana, I have a katana. A sword, I should bring the sword out. I run in there, I go, what? And there's this guy from the show.

They've been shooting, they're doing all the Jenna's coverage. Who are you? It's 1030. And I go, I go, what? What? I'll freak the fuck out. Oh my God.

I was freaking the fuck out, right? And he goes, just go now. I was in like whatever I was sleeping in, right? So I have one slipper on and I go. And so they did all her coverage. And the worst was... Did she stay for your cover? For when it flipped up? No.

Good. But the worst part was is I'm doing my coverage now. It's like one, right? She's at home. No, she's still there because you had other scenes like, you know what I mean? Oh, okay, okay. But she's in the dressing room, right?

But I'm doing my coverage and I could see behind a tree, like something like this, right? Mm-hmm. Hold on, I want to show you. Always use the space. I could see the showrunner, right? Mm-hmm. Just staring you down.

The whole day, just... So angry. Yeah, or like if we'd moved... If we moved shots, right, she would just come behind from a desk and come up like this. Like she was all over the place. You fucked up. And then this is what she does.

Her name is Emily, Katnick. Does she like you now? She's the best. But she goes, I remember at the end of the day, I'm just sitting there and I'm hunched over. And she walks up from behind me, right? She puts her hand on my shoulder. Assault.

No, no. And she looks at me and I look at her and she gave me a look. She didn't say anything. But it was like, I answered her. Even though she said, yeah, yeah, it won't happen again. It was that look like... By the way, that's...

I'm gonna let this go. That's power. But yeah, it was like a Jedi thing. And I go, I'll never do that again. She squeezed my shoulder and she walked away. The next day was everything was fine, right? But it's like, if this was the 70s, I could show up for a week, not show up.

Yeah, didn't matter. Yeah, come back with coke on my face. You know what I mean? And they're like, where were you? What do you give a shit? Yeah, well, yeah, I was in Cancun. We're doing a show. Let's go, let's roll.

You know what I mean? Let's go. But like, stars could like get away with shit back in the day. It was wild. Yeah, but now it's like, everything's just... Cause number one, there's so many jobs now, right? That not one job is gonna make or break you.

Right. Yeah, that's true. No, because there's a thousand things. You've seen, like, I'll turn on like, YouTube and watch trailers. You'll say, what's wrong? What? What'd you do?

I had something in my eye. Don't do that, man. Keep talking. No, I don't like what you just did, man. I just did this, there was something in my eye. I don't know, that was a fucking, it's some sort of like way of like going, move on. No.

Don't do that, man. That was nothing. You do shit like that where you shrug your shoulders when I'm talking and it's like, it's like, come on, this sucks. Are you projecting? Do you think what you're about to say sucks? Yeah.

Okay. I didn't know where I was going. I didn't know where you were going either, I'm just waiting. I didn't either, right, but don't do that because I'm trying to create something here, man. Okay, next time you know, you're projecting. So next time that you-

I don't even, what does projecting mean? It's something you actually think and feel you're saying as if I'm saying it. Yeah, but don't do that. So next time- Am I projecting that? Yes. So next time you think you're telling a story

and it sucks, why don't you go like this to me? You should bail, just go like this. When you're like, I'm watching trailers on YouTube and then I'll move to something else. Okay, so when you, when I'm doing, so I'm talking, oh, so I'll give you an example. Let's just play it out, right? So man, can I tell you this other story?

Yeah. You know, one time my mom, she used to like to go to the Korean grocery store in Koreatown, right? And she wand around and, you know, you know, she didn't know. So, okay, this week on Bad Friends- It says that- Yeah, we'll shift.

That's very good. We'll shift to something else. And you give me a hand signal where you want to move on. Something simple, like that, when I want to move on. No, no, no, no, no, no. No? That gets so obvious, people can read it. Oh, I didn't know.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like give me something that like- A simple hand signal. What if you just kind of do this, you know, like, you know how detectives from the olden days- What about this? That's the fucking white supremacist. This is?

Yeah. This is, this is A-okay. No, it's A-okay. This is white supremacist. How is this white supremacist? Dude, you know what happened to that guy in San Diego, right? Prove to me that this is white supremacist. I'll give you, I'll give you-

So I can't say okay anymore? No. Really? Yeah. I can never go, somebody goes, hey, how was the food? And I go- No one does that.

Yeah, I do it all the time. Do this. No, that, okay, that's white supremacist. What's, why is this? This is white supremacist. Yeah. Because they'd be like, hey, should we burn the cross?

And they're like, mm-hmm. Yeah, but that's just saying okay, right? This is not giving you the go ahead to burn the cross. Okay, this was the go ahead and this was- Let's give me an example. Okay, how about this? Why don't you walk up to 50 cents, right? And just do this in front of them, see what happens.

Well, what's the context? I'm not just gonna do it out of nowhere. You're okay. If he's like, hey, hey, how's the party? And I'm like, he'll get it. I don't think he would. What do you think he's gonna think I said? I think when you do this,

a gun will go through here like this. I think that's what's gonna happen, all right? So- Why would 50 cents, why would I 50 cents? Just give me a fucking symbol, nothing like this, no circle, all right? I'll give you, can I just say that? I'll go like this.

No, no, no, let me just say that. Let me just, let me talk for a second, okay? This guy that worked at San Diego Gas and Electric, right? A year ago, okay? Mexican guy, right? Union job, right? He's driving home to go, he has a truck. You know, I mean, one of those SDNG, whatever,

San Diego light, I don't know what it's called. And he's at a stop sign, right? And when he's driving, he likes to stick his hand out the window and cause he, he works with his hands and he has like arthritis or something. So he likes to like kinda stretch out his fingers. This actually happened, right? And he's at a stop sign.

At the same time, there's a BLM protest. So out the window, he's doing this and then he does this. They take a photo of this, right? A Mexican guy. This Mexican guy. Doing this symbol. But he's stretching his finger and they... Proof that it's not white supremacy, thank you.

He gets, he lost his job. They fired him? Yes. He lost his job. Because they think a Mexican is a white supremacist? Look it up, he doesn't even think the first word of the criteria. I know, I know, he's a Mexican guy, he lost his job.

There's gotta be something else. There is nothing else. He lost his job. Well, let me tell you something. If that is true, then it's good to have another one of our Mexican brothers on our team, man. Yeah, so give me a symbol. That's insane.

Yeah, yeah. SDG and he worked a fight over alleged racist gesture. It says he was cracking his knuckles. It just seems like something's missing here. No. A Mexican guy? Yes, he's Mexican. Let's see the video.

That's it, that's him. Now, it was a photo, not a video. So zoom in on the photo. Oh, that does look like he's doing the white supremacy symbol. This dude lost his job because of that. He still doesn't have a job. Okay, what's his name?

Oh, it says right there, Cafferty is a Mexican American, says he comes from a diverse family of all races. He's proud of it. He's proud of SDG and he for taking any allegations of racism seriously, but he wants his job back. I'm sure he got his job back. He never did, he still doesn't have his job. Okay, go up to find his name

and let's find him and see if we can contact him. We'll give him a job here on Bad Friends. And he can do this all he wants. That's his job. His job is just to come in to scream every once in a while and do that. By the way, everybody who knows this show that knows obviously we're making a joke about it,

but you've got to be a fucking moron to think a Mexican dude is doing this meaning white supremacy. I know. You have to be a fucking moron. But we live in that kind of society. People are fucking dumb. Because it became, it was trending.

By the way, we are going to find out he is a white supremacist. No, he's not. Because I've seen him in interviews, his family's all like, you know what I mean? San Diego, Mexicans. I just think this feels insane to me. I just don't get it.

I know, but I'm just saying, so don't do this. You're doing it now. I know, I'm just telling you not to do it. I think it's upside down. It is upside down. Oh, it is? Yeah, this is it. This is okay.

He should have done this then. Well, yeah, then it's fine. Yeah, he shouldn't have done that. You're doing it again. You've done it three times. Yeah, all right, you're right. I'm gonna make a meme of it. So give me a symbol that's not obvious

that like when you wanna move, you want me to jump in to shift the conversation. All right, here, it'll be very subtle. Yeah. Okay, good. Like a head just a little to move on face. Okay, so, but we also need symbols. Oh, a symbol for her.

Oh my God. What's your symbol? She doesn't talk. She doesn't need the symbol. Can I do this? Yeah. Yeah, you can do that. That makes sense.

Yeah. She does come in with some good ones. Hello, Tushy. I'll tell you this right now, my friend. If my dad was still alive and he saw my butthole. He's not. I know, but if he was. Did you Tushy your dad's butthole before he died?

No, no, no. But if you saw my butthole right now, you go, holy moly, why so queen? And I would say because it's Tushy to hello Tushy. I'm being real. It's amazing. It's a modern bidet company that washes away even the messiest of shits,

leaving you with a better cleaner butthole than toilet paper alone. My dad's never said, holy moly. Holy moly. He's never. It's funny to say that when you look at some of his buttholes. Anyway, we have a hello Tushy in our bathroom here at that friend.

At the office, yeah. And I love coming here and just spraying it into my ding dong dong, bong bong. Your bong bong. And it cleans it out. It's so good. There's nothing like water. You save money on toilet paper.

Big time. It's good for the environment. Yeah. I just like the little spritz of water in my Tushy because I got to tell you, your hole gets so much abuse over these years. Take care of it and give it a little dab, dab. Just like with a napkin on the corner of your mouth

after you eat a good meal. The Tushy bidet features this, okay? Washes your bum with water for a better clean than toilet paper. Washing with water is less irritating and more soothing for your butthole. Your butthole's gonna be happy. Easy to install, attaches to the toilet

in under 10 minutes, no electricity or plumbing needed. Finish it off. It's also eco-friendly and stylish and using a Tushy bidet reduces your toilet paper used by 80% saving you money. The Tushy ottoman, the sleekest toilet stool designed to help you poop at 100%, 100% of the time, rated number one by Wirecutter.

The new Tushy brush, the only toilet brush with disposable scrubbing pads so you can use a clean brush every time. Look, start washing with the Tushy bidet for a better clean. Go to hellotushy.com slash badfriends to get 10% off plus free shipping. This is a special offer for our listeners

at hellotushy.com slash badfriends for 10% off. After you buy and install your Tushy, show it off. Tag us at at hellotushy on Instagram. Ship station. Oh my God, we wouldn't have a business, I don't think without. Not without ship station. I mean, we have merchandise, it goes out

and we do use the ship station to use it. Yeah, look, the holidays are coming up. If you're selling anything online like we do when we sell merch, you gotta prepare for the busiest time of the year. If your business is growing and managing inventory is tough, juggling all those orders, you got a lot going on.

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Just go to shipstation.com, click on the microphone at the top and enter Bad Friends. Ship station makes ship happen. But we have to also have a symbol in terms of like, you know, if I think your story's meandering. Is it the same symbol? We'll just do that for all of us. Just knock on a desk.

Yeah. We'll just do that for all of us. A little tap-tap on the desk. Yeah, a little tap-tap. Little tap-tap. Yeah. Let's do, let's practice one. Go ahead, I'll start. Go ahead.

So last night at the Great British Baking Show. Oh. I was watching that because, you know, every week on Fridays, a new episode comes on, right? And last night was bread week. Oh. So anyway, love to show last night. Oh, so what's that, what's that?

Move on. Move on, move on, okay. I love it. What was that even? Okay, so what was that even talking about when you did the fucking eye thing? These guys will know. You were saying you were watching trailers on YouTube.

About what though? About how no, not one actor has so much power these days because there's too many jobs. All right, I just, can I finish my point though? Please. Before you do the eye thing, please. Okay. I'm just saying that there's no, there's... God, you know, some days I love you.

I really do. Some days I go, I'll wake up and go, man, I'm so blessed to have so many good friends and right. But some days I just literally go, I think I hate them. Yeah. I think today's one of those days. Good. Yeah.

How do you feel about me right now? I'm in love with you more than I've ever been. Oh, why? Because I'm, because you're sweet. That annoyed me even more. I know. Wait, tell me though, you were watching that no actor can, you were saying it.

I just, no, I'm just saying though, you can't act like that anymore. Well, look, some of those things... We're expendable. Some of those things are good. You're probably just honking this woman's boobs is not fucking cool. I mean, it's a funny story for someone to tell,

but you're like, that's fucking nuts. South Korea's next president, oh, by the way, this is a big win for South Korea. I want to tell you congratulations. This is Heo Kyung Young, the levitating mystic who claims he's got an IQ, go up. He's got an IQ up. He's scrolling on the wrong way.

He's got an IQ of 430 and is offering voters $85,000 to vote for him. Do you vote for this guy? Yeah. He can fucking levitate. Well, if you can do something that no other human can do, I think that's an asset, right? And 85 grand?

Yeah. Look at that, look at how, and there's people, there's skeptics on the internet saying he can't levitate. That's him levitating above a mountain. I'm seeing it right now. Obviously. So tell me how that happened, and then I'll tell you. Yeah, exactly.

Also, he's able to. And look at, listen. He's able to physically remove and replace his hair at any given time. Right. Not only that, can I just say, just based on the photo, he loves to punch angels. Because look at that fist, right?

He loves to punch angels, right? Imagine. Do it, do him in heaven. Do him up there levitating punching angel. Wait, I got to do Indian style. Hold on, I got to get in there, right? Takadan! What's takadan?

Takadan. Takadan. Because you have to tell the angel. You have to tell the angel, take that. And then they're like, they get punched, they go, take one! Yeah. Right? You'll know!

Scroll down on this guy. This guy's fucking great. I don't know why they don't want to vote for him. People are saying that he said he's showing off his flexibility with a kick alongside Donald Trump, and he tells all the observers to look into his eyes to help him levitate. I don't know, man.

This guy seems dope as shit. I think it's, I think. This is the kind of people we should be voting for. We've been getting lied to by politicians for far too long. And it's also like, if you can do something mystical. Like this. Like this, right? Dude, that's an asset?

By far. Right. So they say, like, they say, Jesus walked on water. They say Gandhi could not eat for, you know, whatever the fuck, a thousand years. Yeah, a thousand years, man. This guy, he floats. He can fucking levitate, dude.

The Dalai Lama. Yeah. What's his thing? The Dalai Lama? What's his thing? His thing is he can make crickets disappear. Out of thin air. Out of thin air, dude.

And locusts. That's a thing? Yeah, that's a thing. Right. Would you vote? Hey, hey, hey. Would you vote for him? If he can levitate.

See? Yeah. Boy, that's the thing, though. But what's tough about this is he'd have to prove it one time. How does David Blaine not run for anything then? He could just be like, you should vote for me because I can do this.

And then disappear into a tank. Because you have, this is a true thing, right? You have, if you look at David Blaine's videos on YouTube and whatever, there's always reveal videos. Of how we did it? Yeah. So like when you see any magician, that's why when like there's certain.

That sucks. I know, but there's certain missions like Shin Lim. Yeah, I know Shin Lim. So Shin Lim, they don't do some reveals on his because they don't know yet. Right, they can't, right. What's, Penn and Teller couldn't figure out. Yeah, yeah, that's how good Shin Lim is.

But if you watch David Blaine or any other magician that you see on a talent show, there's always reveal videos. Some of them I don't think you could find a reveal for. Yeah. I mean, there's this guy named, what's his name? It's some Oak Darby Darcy, Darcy Oak. Darcy Oak. Darcy Oak, cute, handsome.

Darcy Oak is a handsome Canadian magician. They all kind of look like Chris Angel-ish. This dude did something on BGT. Obviously put the shirtless one up, Pete. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, there we go. That's him. We obviously want to see.

Hot, right? Is he hot? Could he be James Bond? He looks like he would hit women. Oh. What gives it away? The stars going down to his penis on his pelvis. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. This guy's probably a great guy. No, he seems very nice. He's probably nice. Why do you think he's going to hit women? It's just his face. It's just his face. But he does a thing on stage where he can make doves appear.

This guy. Yeah, right. Have you seen it? Oh yeah, he does it as an audition on BGT. He makes doves appear. Then he can make two doves appear with two cages with two doves in it and stuff like that. Seriously?

Yeah, yeah. That's pretty interesting. And then he puts the doves, all the doves in a cage. And he lifts the cage. And there's a woman underneath that that rises. Really? Yeah. Let's go see this guy.

Anywho, right? You can watch it on YouTube. My point is, all those stuff, I know how he did it. Yeah, but you can't do it. I'm not going to spend 15 hours a day for 20 years of my life practicing. That's my point. That's the only point.

I know my point is that I think it's awesome that he can fucking do it. Yeah. Right? But my point is that it's not magic. Yeah, it is magic. It's magic that he was able to spend that much time to figure out how to do it and actually work.

That's magic. I know. Let's go back to him. That's real magic. That's real. Let's go back to him. The guy's got my fucking vote. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

All right, what's the next piece you had, Pete? Can I just say something real quick? Oh. Why is everything Korean right now? It's Korean. You know it's South Korean month? All of October. It is.

I've never heard of South Korean month. And I've been in Korea for 50 years. What month is South Korean celebration month in the United States? Watch. It's fucking October. You don't know that. It's my birthday month.

What does it say? What did you Google? Where is it there? Pete, just type in the word October after. No, no, no. There you go. I have the internet. There it is.

No, I'm going to go South Korean month. Ah, bingo, bingo. The day, look at the day the sky opened. Look at, what does that say? Zoom it in for him. No, I'm going to. Look, Bobby. I'm going to have my own internet.

Look, Gachi Jeon-Jol, a public holiday in South and North Korea on October 3rd, known as the English name National Foundation Day. The holiday celebrates the legendary formation of the first Korean state of Goju Sun in 233, 2333 BC. Told you. Told you. I put South Korean month, and it says Sunday, October 10th.

Told you. 2021. Told you. 2021. That's now. You not know what year it is? So today is it? Told you.

Yeah. Told you. Go back to the article. Hold this stuff up, stop. I think when I put South Korean month right now, the internet's just going, this is what the day is in South Korea. Let's figure it out.

Go back to the thing. Go back to the. Am I losing my fucking mind? Yeah. Yeah, all right. South Korean president, the current president, suggests a ban on eating dog meat. What do you say?

Yeah, 100%. Why? Shut up, man. Shut up, man. It's insane. Yeah. Moon Jae-in, a dog lover, says, time has come for traditional practice to end.

Yeah. Like the. What's the what? Why is it so funny? It's insane. It's fucking insane. Look at how cute these dogs are. Yeah.

It's insane to think someone might break into your house, not to steal something, but to grab a dog. Yeah. That's insane. But these dogs are bred for it, right? They don't look like. They're bred to be eaten? Yeah, but they're not.

I've seen some of the videos. No, that's in China. They steal from people's houses. It's insane. I know in China, but in Korea, they're bred. Oh, they are. Like the pigs. So it's like they're in a canal.

You know what I mean? Right. So they're made to be eaten. But they just don't have friends that are human. Well, they do right before they eat them. The human goes, hi, puppy. And puppy's cute and licking them. And then they're like.

No, that's not how they do it. It's like mass production, I think. You mean like a breeder? Like a breeder. And it's like these dogs have terrible lives. Yeah, because you're going to eat them. No, but it's also their daily life is, I think, just feed and put in a canal.

What does dog taste like? Apparently, it's the best meat. Don't give me apparently. I'm telling you right now. Don't give me apparently. Just tell me what it tastes like. Real good. I don't know.

I would never eat it. What's the weirdest animal you've ever eaten? Don't to say dog. Monitor lizard. Monitor lizard? Do you know what that is? I know what a monitor lizard is. I don't know if you're going to eat it.

Are you making that up? No. She ate one. In Philippines, you eat monitor lizard? Yeah. How do you eat it? How does this prepare her? Doesn't it look so delicious?

It looks so moist and delicious. Well, you know what they say? Specifically, fruits are colored differently. And aesthetically, they throw away fruit that doesn't look good. Do you know what I mean in the grocery store, which is fucked up? Imagine looking at this. There's no way. And being like, I got to try it.

I can't. You have to be starving. Not only that. You can't hang it. You know how you go to Chinatown and you see dangling carcass? Ducks in the window. Ducks in the window, right? You can't hang that anywhere.

That has to just be on the menu, the last thing, right? And just put ML. They're like, eh, we have clam chowder soup. We've got a couple of specials today. We've got a card on blue and monitor lizard. So what can I get your drink? And you're like, what was the last one? Monitor lizard?

Yeah. What part of it do you eat? I don't know. Do you eat like the legs? I think so. My uncle just gave it to me. Oh, so you just ate it? Yeah.

And he just says. What is it? Is there a sauce? There's no sauce. Do you at least get like a Chick-fil-A sauce or something? It was just fried. Oh, it's fried. Well, I bet it's good.

But can you get it like Cajun style or black? I mean, there's got to be a way where it's going to be the best way. I just want to see a diner. It was good. It was spicy. It was. Yeah, because they have to put the spices in. Oh, that was the Cajun style.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, the Cajun style. Yeah, wow. I liked it. You fried. Maybe if there was like, you know, breading. Yeah, if it was deep fried. Deep fried breading. Deep fry.

Mm-hmm. Pound it. Mm-hmm. Right? Yeah, you thin it out like a lizard pie out. Monitor lizard pie out. Because there's a restaurant in China and it's a month's of reservations, right? Mm-hmm.

And all they serve is different types of animal testicles and penis. Just, it's called just genitals. No, it's like, yeah. Wait, is just penises and balls? Yeah. No female? No. That's kind of sexist.

There's a couple of vaginas in there. But you, it's like a crowded- People love it. People fucking love it. And it's just penis, just penises. Yeah. Have you eaten animal penises? No.

Like a bull penis? That's popular. I know people eat bull penises. Like I was, I was like wondering like, let's suppose, and a lot of people like at work, like their boss at work will be like, I got reservations and then everyone at work would have to go. Oh. Right? And imagine being there and you're like-

Just eating dick. What would you order? What, like what animals cock would I have? Yeah, yeah. You know, I don't know what I would do. I mean, if I'm hungry, probably a horse dick. No, no, no. It's fucking huge.

No, because I don't want to eat it, so I would say field mouse. Right? But then, but I imagine if I order field mouse, right? And it comes like, like cereal. Right, there's a fuckload of- It's a bowl. It's a bowl. It's a bowl.

A bowl. Field my sticks. And then it comes with milk. Are you pouring it? That's so funny. That's so funny. Yeah. A bowl of field mice cocks.

Yeah. And you finish- You think you're getting one over, right? You're not. Like, yeah. But you finish a bowl. You finish the bowl and they're like, oh, you're ready for your second serving? Field mouse sticks you.

It's like four. Right. They're like, we know that's not enough for you to eat, so obviously we had to pack it in. I would have to like whisper. Like, I'd be so shy to do it. So when the waitress or waiter comes up and they go, do you know what you want? Right?

I would have to whisper it because I would be so embarrassed. I'd say, excuse me, I did not hear you. It's a donkey dick. Come again. Come again, right? And then he's, oh, a donkey dick. And she yells at the fucking cook. One donkey dick.

One donkey dick for this guy right here. Raise your hand. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What animal dick would you eat? A duck's dick. Oh, duck dick. A duck dick. That's very clever.

That's clever. Duck dick probably tastes very good. Yeah. Because we eat so many parts of the duck. A chicken dick would be good. Ah, chickens are dirty. Yeah, you're right. Yeah, chickens are dirty.

Yeah. Pig dick? Pig dick. It's probably fattiest shit. What would Eric? Get a picture of a pig dick up there. What would Eric Griffin get? Elephant cock.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do elephants have huge hearts? And like 15 guys come in. They come in with it. Other shoulders? Yeah. Wait a minute, Google, which animal has the biggest penis? I want to know.

Yeah. Andrew Santino? The blue whale. Yeah. Of course. Let me see the picture of it. Let me see a blue whale. Ten feet penis?

A ten foot cock? Holy shit. Wow. Wow. There it is. Where? That's it. The second picture.

Do blue whales penis? No. Right there. The blue whale penis. Let's see it. Oh my God. That's it. Right there.

In the water. The one in the water. No, hold on. Zoom into that guy's face. Look at this guy holding this penis. Yeah. He's... It's like a Disneyland vacation family photo.

He's so turned on right now. And the kids are like, Dad, this is not cool. Yeah. I'm gonna hold the penis. Yeah. Get it. Get in.

Charlene, get me holding the penis. How weird. That's gross. Fucking penis right there. But let's see it live in the... Like go to the right. The one right there in action. No.

Above. Above. Above. Right. Right. Right. Right. So they're with the yellow.

Oh my God. That's live. Look at it jumping out of the water. They've got it mid-action. They've got mid-flight dick. He's just going on his butt. Suck it. You know what I mean?

He has to give a fuck that guy. Suck it. Go to the one where he's jumping out of the water. Yeah. Yeah. That's a dare from his buddies. Yeah. Do it.

He's a teenager. Yeah. Fucking with... Larry. You know what I mean? He's fucking crazy. Fucking crazy Larry. Dude, look at how small that looks because of how big they are.

But that's 10 feet of penis. Yeah, that's a big dick. That's huge. Yeah. What's that one? Somebody touching it? Is that somebody touching it? Yeah, he's grabbing it.

Let me see that one. The largest penis in the world. Wait, I don't... Zoom in. Zoom in. Wow. Wow. Wow.

Is that even erect? That's got to be soft. That's soft. Because that's like four feet, five feet. What if that guy works for the restaurant? Not ready yet. Yeah. Still too tender.

Still too tender. Look at that dick, man. Beautiful. Imagine being the guy they newly hired and they're like, look, we need help. Help wanted bad. And he's like, I'll do anything. They're like, you've got to go see if the dicks are ready down below. That's his job.

You've got to go fumble through the dicks. That's the guy. Go find the dick. The dick catcher. Well, he went to chef's school, whatever. He gets a good job there, but his first job when you first get hired there is that. You're the dick prep guy. Yeah.

Fine. Fine. Get downstairs and go... Yeah, yeah, yeah. So the monitor lizard is the weirdest you've ever eaten. Yeah? Have you eaten anything that you're not supposed to tell us? Did you eat something bad?

No. Did you eat something illegal? No. Have you ever? Never. How about like a hawk? Have you eaten an endangered species? No.

Do you know what that is? Have you seen their bats? No. Filipino bats? Have you seen their fucking bats, bro? No. Look up Filipino giant gold, that fucking thing. Look at it.

That's literally... That's a guy. That is a guy. That's their bats. That's a full-size adult man. Yeah, yeah. Dude, look at the storefront run. Go back to the storefront.

That looks like a guy in a Halloween costume. It's not, dude. That's a fucking bat, bro. Oh my God. Wait a minute. Do you... What happens when that comes around? That can fucking kill you.

Yeah. Is this what... Do you... Do they have names? Yeah. That's Mike. Hey, Mike. Hey, Mike.

You're living in fucking Narnia. Yeah, yeah, dude. That is insane. Do they attack people? I've never heard of them attacking people, so... Do you see them sometimes flying? I've never seen them. You've never seen one.

This has got to be in a certain part of the Philippines, then. Look at this, the one that they caught and they strung it up. That's insane, dude. The one that's hung up. Look at that. That's like a 15-foot wingspan. I know. That's insane, that thing.

I wonder what those taste like. Have you eaten those? No. What is it called? Go to the name. Go to the regular Google search. I want to find out the name of these things. Just hit all.

Those things are insane, dude. Here's what you know about the giant golden crown flying fox. Also known as the golden-caped fruit bat. It's not eating fruit. That's eating human beings. Yeah. It's a megabat in the Philippines. Yeah, that thing's insane, man.

Dude, this has got to be five feet long. It's five feet. It's a fucking... It's my height. It's taller than you. Doc. It's five foot six. If you put fucking wings on Doc.

No, dude, it's five six. It's five six? It's five six. Holy shit. That's bigger than you. He's taller than I am. That's what you would look like hung upside down next to the bat. You would be almost the same size.

Wow. Wow. That's insane. I would move. Would you move? That was the competition. There's no way... No, I just...

Like, if those are flying around, you can sleep well at night. Google if those things have ever killed a human being or attacked a human being. They've got to have been able to kill or hurt somebody. Yeah. And large bats are being killed by the thousands. Oh, we're killing them all. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're probably like sweet.

Yeah, they're probably nice. Yeah. They eat fruits, bro. That doesn't look like fruit. Yeah, they eat fruits, bro. They look like they eat cows in the middle of the night. Yeah. Those are insane.

Anyway, you haven't eaten those? No. No. Is there any other creatures over there that are... Like that? Like that? I don't think so. But if you look at that photo...

What is the difference between that? Like, just listen to me, right? You might have to get this out. You really think about it though, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm listening. You see that thing upside down, right? Yeah.

What's the only difference between that and that? I don't know. Except for the wings, right? Let me say something. Like, you can clip wings, can you not? Can you not clip them? You can clip them? Right.

Yeah. Like, I saw an X-Men movie where Archangel, when he was a boy, he was clipping his own wings in the bathroom of his house, right? Yeah. I mean, I've never really looked at her back. I'm not a bat. And that didn't accuse you of a bat, that you were a bat. Please isolate that sound.

Yeah. I'm not a bat. How are you? He's not saying you are a bat, but how can you prove that you're not? Yeah. I don't have any wings. Any more. Yeah.

I don't look like a bat. You sound a little guilty. Yeah. It feels like, go back to the picture of the one thing hanging upside down and zooming it on its face. Yeah. Zoom in, zoom in, zoom in. Zoom in.

I don't know. I don't know. Jules? Rudy? The ears are different. Well, you can always shave. Pull your, let me see, pull your one head phone aside. Let's see your ears.

Yeah. Your ears are big. It's not. Turn that way and pull your, pull your hair aside so the camera can see. Yeah, yeah. It's not. Oh my God. Oh, shit.

I don't know. Throw a fucking apple in front of her. She bites it in the air. I don't know. Rudy, I'd like to see some proof next episode. God, those things are so scary. Let's get a book report on why Rudy isn't a bat for the next episode. Well, let's play this clip real fast.

Let me see this clip. I had a reason. Shut the fuck up. Stop talking to me, bitch. No, it's not you. I'm talking to a dumb ass, fat bitch over there. Eating too many pork chops. Fat ass, bitch.

Shut up, you fat bitch. Stop eating so many pork chops. Back up off the tank. Go on and die it. You fat ass, bitch. That's why you ain't got no man. You're too fucking fat. Nobody want to fuck you.

You're too fat, bitch. You eat too many pork chops. Too much rice and beans. You're dumb ass. Stupid ass, bitch. Shut up, you fat bitch. Shut up, you fat bitch. Shut up, you fat bitch.

Shut up, you fat bitch. You eat too much rice and beans. You're dumb ass. Stupid ass, bitch. I love New York. It's the greatest city in the world. You stupid ass, bitch. That's why you ain't got no man.

You eat too many pork chops. You stupid ass, bitch. I love that so much. I love it so much. You don't like that, Bob? Why? Because he is fat. Yeah.

You know what I mean? And he's also can't walk. Play it again. Why? Pork chops, baby. Don't try to reason. Shut the fuck up. Stop talking to me, bitch.

No, I'm not you or something dumb ass fat bitch over there. You eat too many pork chops. You fat ass, bitch. Just push pause for a second. There's just so much ammo that I could get back at that guy. That's why this is hilarious. But why didn't she fight back? Because it's fun, man.

I don't know. Maybe I don't know. It's so good to me. Press play. I love it. Shut up, you fat bitch. Stop eating so many pork chops. Back up off the tape.

Go on a diet. You fat ass, bitch. That's why you ain't got no man. You're too fucking fat. Nobody want to fuck you. You're too fat, bitch. You eat too many pork chops. Too much rice and beans.

You're dumb ass. Stupid ass, bitch. Dude, this is how a custom New York people are. To fuck up shit. No one's even laughing. You wouldn't be laughing if that guy's doing it. Look at this guy on his phone. Look at Fancy B on his phone.

No, I know. Uh-uh. You wouldn't laugh if that guy was calling that girl fat ass, bitch. You eat too many pork chops. No. That's not funny to you. It wouldn't be. It would be interesting, but I would be dying.

Dying, laughing. Yeah. Here's me recording. Yeah, that's it. Dying. Yeah. White guy. Shut the fuck up.

Thank you for being up. Go ahead and say it. Thank you for being a bad friend. You fucked it up by fucking yelling and this. It takes me out of the fucking talking about it. What do you do that? How was it? It's calm down now.

Go back to the thing. I did the beat. Ready? How was it? I got my sides. How was midnight mass? There's no comedy when I'm saying. I just want to recommend things to people.

That's all. Yeah. And so what we're doing is a podcast. So what they would do is they would cut it, right? After we yelled. Yeah. Funny moment of me going, so how was it? Do you understand how this works?

Dude, I don't like your tone right now, dude. What is wrong with you, dude? What the fuck is wrong with you? Look at your face. Do you know how this works? You fucking condescending fuck. Dude, you're not the fuck. You're not Vaughn, man.

No, you're not. Yeah, I'm not. Head's up. It's odd job. And I'm not hacksaw. Is that his name? I call myself hacksaw. I've seen you once again.

What? No, listen. You're so low to the earth, odd job. This show. It's almost as if you can suck your own little tiny penis. Did you show this to you? No. Did you see this?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.