Bad Friends - No Tater Tots In Spain

Episode Date: November 16, 2020

Thank you to our Sponsors: http://buyraycon.com/badfriends & http://hellotushy.com/badfriends & http://liquidiv.com code: badfriends & http://buffy.co code: badfriends Subscribe to our YouTube: http://bit.ly/BadFriendsYouTube 0:00 iPhone Apple Car Dreams 9:23 Chickichaw and Bobby's Joshua Tree Trip 14:47 Andrew Tries To Be Nice 16:57 The Hashbrown Debacle 19:15 The Types of Fried Potatoes in Spain 27:15 My Octopus Teacher Review 30:46 If I Was A Girl... 46:51 Andrew Chooses Andrews 54:06 The Best Tarantino Movie? Once Upon A Time In Hollywood. 1:01:01 John Wayne's Genghis Khan 1:14:34 Thighbrows Song by Hendawg More Bobby Lee TigerBelly: https://www.youtube.com/tigerbelly Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bobbyleelive/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/bobbyleelive Tickets: https://bobbyleelive.com/ More Andrew Santino Whiskey Ginger: https://www.youtube.com/andrewsantinowhiskeyginger Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino/ Twitter: https://Twitter.com/cheetosantino Tickets: http://www.andrewsantino.com/ More Bad Friends iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-friends/id1496265971 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/badfriendspod/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/badfriends_pod Official Website: http://badfriendspod.com/ Opening Credits and Branding: https://www.instagram.com/joseph_faria & https://www.instagram.com/jenna_sunday Credit Sequence Music: http://bit.ly/RocomMusic // https://www.instagram.com/rocom Character Design: https://www.instagram.com/jeffreymyles Produced by George Kimmel & Bryce Hallock - 7EQUIS Podcast Producers: Jenna Sunde, Joe Faria, Andrés Rosende Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Anchor if you haven't heard about anchor It's the easiest way to make a podcast. Let me explain. Oh, please. It's free. Awesome. That's cool These are there are creation tools that allow you to record and edit your podcast right from your phone or your computer You do it from your phone like on the go. Oh my god That's cool the bus or the subway you can do it. That's cool Anchor will distribute your podcast for you so it can be heard on Spotify Apple podcast and many many many many many many many more. Go ahead You can make money from your podcast too. No minimum listenership. How about that? You can make money with no minimum listenership It's everything you need to make a podcast all in one place. Where do we have to go Bob?

Download the free anchor app or go to anchor.fm to get started. You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots? Why do you think I'm an Asian dude? You two are disgusting. Well, you two are something. We're bad friends. I have the iPhone 13. It doesn't exist. I know That's how cool I am Okay, I know a guy that has a time machine. What's his name Salvador Dallol Salvador Dallol Yeah, not Dali Dallol Dallol Salvador Dallol, right? He's a Spain futurist. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah And he can time travel between two different time periods. That's what time traveling is right, right and Well last night I was watching a movie some Indonesian movie. I get a knock on my bedroom door

Exactly and I go bonjour. Bonjour. He goes hello. He's weird accent. He's from the future and I go What's up? And he was there was a glow Like he's knocking with there's a glow too in the right. Uh-huh. And I could see that he's glowing like it wasn't the cut It was a pinkish orangish Bright light so it's like my That's better. Okay. It's more prominent. Ah, and he goes like waved it, right? And then I wave my hand like this and it appeared in my hand

That's what the iPhone Thirteen does wow. Yeah, it transports. Can I tell you what I did the other day? What I hit someone's car with my car That's not have anything to do with iPhones. Yes, it is what happened. I hit the car and iPhones fell out It was an Apple car Yeah Yeah Wow, that's why I got the new one. That's how you got it. Yeah, you hit an Apple car Apple car. Yeah, right? I've seen those on the road. They're all over the place, right?

You hit them as hard as you can I saw it and I hit the gas because it's a run on iPhone 12 It run it runs on 10 and 11. Oh, it does. I got that and they have 12 and 13 inside And normal people are walking around with the with the 12 like it's cool The 13 is what we've got the cool the new one that's not even out yet Yeah, but you know, it's like whenever these things come out you go. What is it? What's the real improvement here? Nothing? They do one little thing. I know we got a new filter for you on the camera Here's a it costs a thousand dollars. It just isn't the same It isn't it used to be a member before I said that too. I got into an argument with an Apple employee and

He was like just being rude. Yeah, and I was like, you know this place went to shit when that guy died Apple was so much cooler when you said that out loud. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah died from that fucking stupid cancer Yeah, cancer. You said I know well. Yes cancer is stupid sure I Said when that guy when Steve Jobs died Apple went to put it's true How inventive was it back in the day? Oh, so cool. Yeah, and then at some point when he died they were like Well put out a watch And you're like a what yeah, or I hit when they go this is a new phone and then you're like, what is it and then? See the cover it extends or like it wraps around like the screens in the back to so what like who gives a shit

Yeah, I don't care. I don't want to do this. No, it's I want to look at the front Keep it right here. Well, you know what they did now in the new phone. You don't get You don't get a charger anymore. Yeah, you get the cable, but you don't get the wall block. Yeah, but the wall but the But the cable they give you is USB C not USB not the old one. So the old little blocks that you have. Yeah gone I mean, you could still use them with the same fire thing But so they don't they want you to buy their new USB C wall chargers and no headphones Right, they're bastards about that. Why no headphones. I like the wire headphones. I Still like them. Yeah, I like the wire ones, but I also hate the fact that like my iPad doesn't charge on the

Mobile one does yours wait my iPad my my eye for this one my iPad my iPad doesn't charge on this Charger what seriously? Yeah, is it the old wait? Well, I don't know what the fuck But it's like I got to get two different ones my iPad my new I got one and it charges on this thing This thing is the same now. It is I think so. I don't know I don't know because I just Put the wires are I have there's an Apple charger in every port in my house Yeah, and then the iPhone also makes you feel like you have to lie to it all the time when you're driving Yeah, and it says this phone won't turn on unless because you're driving are you driving you press and you say I'm not driving I'm not driving, but I am driving

So then you have to lie to it. Yeah, I'm not driving right me while I'm playing Candy Crush the whole time the whole time I'm driving like this. Yeah. Why do you make me lie? You know, do you enable location services? This is a real big debate whether or not do you let Apple do you send data back to Apple? Oh, yeah I want to know I want them to know where I am. They do good. They know regard if I'm lost If like for instance, let's say this okay, one day. I just vanished from the face of the earth, please Okay, no, no, no, no, no, that's fine. No, okay, but and then it's like and all of a sudden I wake up I get knocked knocked unconscious and I'm in the desert. Where were you with that night that it happened Do you remember? Oh, yeah, I was at a Raven Ramona. Oh, you're the Raven Ramona. Yeah

Yeah, so there's a city named Ramona by my what I lived I grew up in Poway. Yeah in the town north of us I think it was or ETH is was a town called. I've never been there But I was in a Raven Ramona. Ah, right and I'm you know, I have glow sticks, right? And there's only three people there And I'm doing it, right? I'm doing it. I'm doing it and then I hear zap zap zap zap, right? I hear a bunch of zaps who and all of a sudden I black out Mm-hmm. I open my eyes and I'm in a desert Mojave desert Mojavee. That's what I said, right? That's what you said. Yeah. Yeah. That's what I said. So you're in the Mojavee desert

I'll have a desert right who's around you. No one and I'm in a shack Oh, you're in a shack, but you're safe. So you're safe. No, if there's no door. There's no walls Oh There's no walls. It's like a shit. It's a gazebo gazebo. You're in a gazebo. It's not yeah, my bad Which can be nice depending on who made it. There's also a bed, right? And I wake up a twin a single a single bad. Yeah, I wake up and I'm completely naked Okay, and I have an eye my iPhones on my chest just perfectly in the cavern of your head I have cavern on my chest and you when you wake up in the desert in a gazebo you make a certain noise

I don't know if you've ever been in that. No, what is it? Oh? Oh Yeah, like calming really. Oh It's okay It's more like I scared yeah So I'm you know, I mean, I don't know where I am. Oh, I was in a fucking rave in Ramona, right? Right, and then all of a sudden

But then all of a sudden you hear Drowns. Oh car. Yeah, yeah, not drawn. Sorry. Yeah, the noise sounded like a drone to be fair Well, that's because it's from far. Oh the car far away. Yeah, because the drone I get what you're saying if there was a drone near me. It would sound like Yeah, you wouldn't hear a drone 10 miles away. Yeah, you would you might you're right. You're absolutely correct Yeah, you're right. Yeah, but this is what a car sounds far far away That's what it is that's what yeah, small hum. Why don't you do the sound effects? I will in my story. Okay, here we go Oh, yeah, but you know what? I know what that is. You know what? I know what it's the Apple car

They're on the way to rescue you and they show up and they go mr. Lee Yeah, thank you for turning on you. Thank you for turning on your location services Yeah, and then when I go it does work and they put you in the car and they go you bet Yeah, and I'm in the car with what? Apples. Yeah, but 2013's new apples. Wow. Do you have an iPhone Rudy? Yeah? Yeah, she's an iPhone 2 You have to still crank it yeah No, no, it's an XR

What's that which 10 10 10 yeah, it's a 10 yeah extra regular. Yeah, it's an extra regular phone the XR Wait 10 is it's X X 10 right X is 10 X me standing in yeah Roman numerals like it. Yeah Yeah, she plays her mobile I legends on it. She likes to get on our Instagram, you know kid stock Did you ever okay? This is a good question for your generation. Did you watch quibi? Do you know what quibi is? No, that says everything you need to know of why they've went bankrupt. Yeah, do you know what they are? I just did this that thing I did was a quibi thing. Oh was yeah, they just they're just bankrupt, right? They're done So it's not gonna come out the thing I did. I mean it's over I mean they quibi is dissolved like it's gonna be I mean I don't I think that the app is still running

But I mean they're they're leveling Bill Burr. Bill Burr. Who's that? He's you should know it's like me not knowing who Ben Bong is Ben Fong Ben Bong. I call Jen. That's Ken Jeong will be called Ben Bong That's like me not knowing Ben Bong Ken. John's got more shows on television than anybody ever seen. He's hosting a new show. Yeah But so I don't want to talk about it. No, I will talk about it a second, but um, no, I'm really concerned now because Bill Burr produced it Has a sketch show on quibi. Mm-hmm, and then a bunch of us did the sketch show. Yeah, so that's not gonna come out then

Maybe I mean quibi is for to my understanding quibi is no more. Can we talk about you going to Zion or no? I'm not going to Zion. Where are you going? Zion is in the movie The Matrix, correct? Zion the National Forest. Is that where we're going? Oh, I don't know. How do you not know where you're going? I just go to the desert. Zion is in the desert Zion Oh, it's Joshua Tree Joshua Tree and Zion aren't the same thing. Are they close? No We're going to Zion instead of Joshua Tree. I

Just know we're going to the desert See this family Wait, when I said Zion right when he just says I and you agreed with him. She just she just said your mic to the mouth You agreed with him. Did you understand what he was saying? I thought Zion was in Joshua Tree Yeah, but Zion is not so we're going to Joshua Tree Right, so we're not going to Zion Yeah Why are you laughing?

This this poor girl hasn't gotten any sleep of days. So you're going to Zion or Joshua Tree. Where are you going? Joshua Tree. I thought you said Zion George. Didn't you say Zion? He said what J Tree Jewish Tree Joshua Tree. Oh, okay. Well, Josh could be a Jew. It's a Jewish. Yeah. I guess it could be true Yeah, so you're going to Joshua Tree, which is in California Zion is in Utah two different completely different places a five-hour difference I'm not going if I were going to Utah. I would not be going. It's beautiful out there, but sure It's beautiful with the lakes and all that stuff. I'm not going the Utah Lakes. Whatever. Yeah, I'm not gonna go no No, so what are you going to Joshua Tree for?

Wow, well, that's an interesting question It's there to connect with spirituality and the natures two things you don't do and I'm trying and I'm gonna tell you something right now There's a peaceful There's a peaceful feeling out there man. There's a peaceful Nothing going on. He's a feeling. Wait a minute. There you don't know. Are you guys staying in the glamping thing? You're doing like a glamping hut. Yeah We we always stay in like a trailer house out there and there's always Filipino games we play like Chiquichá, you know, and

It's pretty much Chiquichá and then eating Chiquichá. I don't even understand it But it's a game where you have to get rid of all your cards. Can you explain it? I'm not really good at Chiquichá The Bobby's good, so I don't know how to explain it. I'm pretty good at it Chiquichá. I'm not gonna go into the fucking details of a complicated card game. How do you know the fans don't want to know what Chiquichá is? Okay, because Chiquichá is this, alright? Everyone gets it. By the way, it inherently sounds like a racist card game name. What do I mean? Chiquichá? Get down in that hole Chiquichá. What are you guys playing? Chiquichá? Oh, yeah, Chiquichá around a desert Chiquichá. Look what I did. I hung about 15 Chiquichá's in that one tree Right, you see the Chiquichá came to town. We gonna kick him out. Yeah

But yeah, it's a card game and then what else do I do? What I'm gonna bring my is I'm gonna bring my new Game Boy and probably start a new farm on Stardew Valley To really connect with nature of the Game Boy out there. You mean Game Boy, Nintendo's Game Boy is back? Not Game Boy Switch. Oh Yeah, Nintendo Switch. 40 years difference of games. Whatever. I miss Game Boy. I love Game Boy. Yeah, I'm gonna bring my switch out there and then there's gonna be a lot of arguing Yeah, about come on Bob. Let's go on the fucking trail. Not gonna happen I have to go but then it's like I complain a lot. How many people are going in total?

Ten. Ten? Yeah, okay, but the four of us is going to stay in one house and then the other Yeah, who's wait, who's for me, you, Kolyla and me. No, no, Roger Matas, but Atikawa is gonna sleep with Atikawinda So I'm sleeping by myself. Yeah, why because Atikawinda, does it have Renzo? The dog? No. Yeah, Renzo the dog. Her partner. Yeah, who's a dog? Which is sad. It's called Beast Valley and I'm not for it. Me neither. Yeah, yeah, but they rub kuchis together. It's fun Don't you want to sleep alone? I love sleeping alone. I do. I hate sleeping in the same bed on the road and like finally like in your own Hotel by yourself. Oh my god, dude, and I have like I put candy on the fucking bed You know what? I just talked to somebody about this today about eating in bed. Yeah

Eating in bed is my favorite thing on earth. I'll go to some convenience store and I'll get like fruits Candy, yeah, and some breads. Yeah, and I'll just lamb all over the bed. Yeah, I'll send Indian style I'll turn on some Native Native American style My bad Latinx. I said let's sit Latinx style sure and I It's I just crumbs all over the bed right in the butter I don't give a fuck right? Yeah, and I wake up with just shit on my face. You know me and sometimes I'll sleep at 9 in the morning You'll sleep you'll go to bed at 9 in the morning. Yeah. Well, they got the blackout curtains. It's the best

You have blackout curtains in your room at home. I Know what you can do for like three dollars on Amazon You can buy the stuff that we've got here in the studio and you put it on the windows It's just black and it doesn't look good though. No, no, no, no, no, no, no You know, no, no, no, no, no, you it's only you only cut it covers up windows And it doesn't look good though on the windows. Oh, okay, and I know and the windows that I have it's in your bedroom The wall window. Oh, the whole wall is a window. Oh, right. It's a whole thing. Oh, that's a nightmare We have those we have a button that you're pressing

When it gets stuck wait, that'll be fun for you to deal with already to replace it twice. Oh It gets unraveled, right? And then you have to oh, it's the worst so that we're getting the house painted right now part inside of parts of the place inside the house and I painted a lot when we first moved in I did a lot of handiwork But then at some point you're like, I can't I don't want to it's too way too hard too much room to paint and the guy today I go He's cleaning out a brush and I go, oh Hey, the hose is right there. Yeah, he goes the what I go

The hose is right there because he was using like cups of water. Yeah, and he goes. Oh The hose oh for okay, okay, and then he goes. I'm not kidding. I'm not making this up Yeah, I'm saying to him. Tell me he's Mexican. Huh? Huh, is he Mexican? It's Korean That's what he sounds like. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Okay. Yeah, a little Korean guy Yeah, and I I think he knows that I'm saying use the hose to clean the your brushes and stuff On the side of the house. Yeah, all good. Don't use cups of water He goes gets the hose I go back

I'm putting the dog in the other room and giving her food and as I pass the window. I see him He's drinking out of the hose. I'm not kidding. So that's what he thought you meant. I think so. Yeah He didn't want to do it. He was like He says to the other guy goes he made me drink out of the whole Yeah, I think he maybe he was still cleaning but had a drink But I then I was like no you guys can have water in here. I gave them bottles of water and Gatorade real good What good water? Yeah, I gave them fucking I gave them good water and Gatorade What if they use that as the paper for the pain? He probably did but but when he when he he was drinking the water

And then I kind of looked at him and you know when you make eye contact and he's watching me while he's drinking Yeah, and I stopped and I was like and I had to keep moving because I didn't want to make another conversation out of it. So now I'm afraid that he thinks I was making him drink hose water And then it's like he's gonna be in like Republicans Voters against Trump and do a video. He's like I was painting his house right up the news The news is gonna be out front of my house. Yeah, I'm gonna go for KTLA channel Channel 9 news We're here outside of Andrew Santino's house

Israel tell us what happened. Well, they meant the orange head man He is orange like Trump. He's a bad guy. He made me drink hose water. By the way, hose water is fine to drink It's not yes, it is Can I tell you something that happened? Yeah, you haven't noticed it yet, but so we've had construction inside our house all week I know with the barricade our doors with the go out. We don't cross with them. Sure But at nights when they leave I can go out in the living room and look at their work or handiwork and and some fucker I don't know who had Had where he was eating hash browns from like McDonald's. Oh, I love those. I know but he spilled it

And there's now a hash brown in the house. You haven't seen it And it's been there for like a week and a half. Well, how come you don't pick it up? I refuse to it's right Who's job is it the Mexican guy Rudy? Oh, okay. No the guy that dropped it right and it's now decaying Why don't you say something? I don't know even know who's the hash brown it is Do you know how to say can you clean up your hash brown? No, I don't even know how to say that in his Hispanic language. Well, let's find out because I just got the new translator app on my iPhone. Let's try and let's see I wanted to say Can you pick up the hash brown on the floor, please?

Okay, here we go. Let's hear what it is in Spanish it is Hey, Andres is that we have a resident in here a resident be is that real Everything except for the hash brown. What is hash brown? We don't have that word She said she said she said has a brown. She said a hash maron. Yeah, what's maron? No, she was saying has brown. Let's hear what she said So what did she say can you pick up the the can you pick up the blank from the floor? Oh, yeah, what's hash maron your Spanish maybe in it in Mexican it means hash brown

Your Spanish maybe in Mexican it means hash brown No, but I'm just saying, you know, I know they Spain Spanish Mexico Spanish different correct that they might have different slang words I'm agreeing with you. Okay. So so maybe you're wrong Andres. Maybe hash maron does mean. Yeah. Yes. Yes, you're right Well, how about this? Um, dude, why don't you go back to Spain? Whoa? Go, but no. Oh my god Come back to But go back to Spain and maybe fucking get get all get all the scholars together Yeah, I get them and fucking create a word for hash brown. Yeah, you really should you guys not

Has browns in fucking Spain fuckface. Are there are you call them fries fries? They're not fries. They're not fries We have to make them like that. So you think so everything that's pride potato is a fry fry What what about tater tots you guys have tater tots? What a dumb country what an inventive country, yeah, you know, they look at a potato fries fries Everything is right. That's it. You want to bake it? No fry fry. Yeah, what do you call big potato fuckface? But that's a salad but that's a salad. But wait a minute for real. You don't have tater tots You've had them here in the United States. Yes. Do you have curly fries? No, no, no, do you wait a minute? No, no, no, do you have them but you refused to create a name for that?

Like they cut it into it like they know how to make it. Yeah, right and they just go There it is fries fries. So the kind of fries that you have, right? Yeah, are they thin like McDonald's or they steak fries, right? We have them both. Okay. Oh, you're bragging. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Now you're getting all we have that ball. Yeah, fuck you We also have tater tots. We have words all over our clothes Andres, do you guys have shoestring fries? Do you know what that is? I do. They're super super thin. Yes, we do. You do. What do you call those? We call them patata paja. Patata paja. What is paja? Straw. Oh, they do have straw fries. Straw fries. Straw fries. Okay. So that does work.

All right, so but but the no tater tot thing and no curly fries really grinds my gears, bud I think that's annoying that you don't have that. They have that kind of stuff in the Philippines, right? We don't have tater tots. Yeah. Yeah, but I think in their case, you know, they have like fried frog leg. Raycon! Oh my god, Andrew. Yeah, I love listening to music. Same. And the my favorite Earbud. Yeah. To listen to music is Raycon. Yeah, I love it. You know why? Because it's slick. It looks good. It's easy to change the songs.

And I feel like they're better than all the other ones. Look, not only are they more comfortable in my ears I have little ear canals. You know that I'm part of a group called little ear canal. Yeah, I know and I don't like Underdeveloped. I have underdeveloped ear canals. My ears are huge, but my canals are tiny and these things fit so snug And you can change the the size which I like because a lot of them don't come with that. This has seamless Bluetooth pairing It's comfortable noise isolating, which is amazing. You can't hear other people and For the other prices of the other earbuds, this is way cheaper It's like half the price of what you pay when you go to those overpriced ones, right? It's great. And for the holidays Get some for your family and your friends for work or whatever. Whatever you're doing

I like to work out with them Bobby likes to use them when he's at his house jamming and music playing video games Go to buy raycon.com slash bad friends today to unlock exclusive deals up to 20% off your Raycon order, but hurry this offer is available for a limited time only and you don't want to miss it That's right. That's buy raycon.com slash bad friends to unlock up to 20% off your Raycons We use them. We love them. They're great ear buds buy raycon.com slash bad friends Hello to see calm. Hey, Andrew. Yes. Hello to see calm has saved my life Why because I used to not be able to clean my butthole Why is that because I'm just not skilled and no one taught me but here's the thing when we got that

I got a hello to see calm, you know, hello to see in my house at home. Yeah, and we have one here We do the one that put it on here. It's easy to fucking do George put it in and that George put in the hello to see there and I realized that my asshole, right? Has been cleaner than it's ever been call it your poop shoot. Sorry. Yeah, no a-hole. We don't say cuss words Your poop shoot has been cleaner than it's ever been Yeah, and it cleans it good and I don't even use toilet paper anymore. Neither do I yeah I use the hello to she bidet and you know what else I do what and I get back into my comfy little sweats And I lounge around the house. I know you do I don't do anything else. Hello to she is the modern bidet attachment

It's here that genuinely to revolutionize your life if you've never used this you're an idiot and you're missing out these usually cost Thousands of dollars. I need to say how much it costs. Yeah. Hello to she right costs just $79 I couldn't believe it. I go. What are these $800? Yeah, I couldn't believe it No, it's it's remarkably cheaper than what you normally would have to pay for something like this get rid of paper products uncomfortable They're chafy that you run out all the time during the during the times that we're living in why waste money on toilet paper Get a hello to she bidet it comes with a 60-day risk-free guarantee and a 12 month warranty That's a year Bob. He's not good at numbers join millions of hello to she happy hello to she customers right now Have a clean tush with every single flush. Alright, go to hello to she comm slash bad friends to get 10% off

This is a special offer for our bad friends listeners. Go to helly to she comm slash bad friends for 10% off again She comms slash bad friends. What do you guys even eat out there? Yeah, but it is Baloo go away. Well Baloo Baloo. Baloo. You know what it is. No, I'm gonna show you what it is and it's gonna freak you out How do you spell it BALUT? Baloo. Yeah, so basically what it is. It's a duck egg Okay, mm-hmm, but you know how like in America we have duck eggs here. I know but when we eat duck eggs, right? We don't eat it. You know, I mean eight months

Into it's you know, I mean cycle. Oh, it's an it's an aborted duck egg Pretty much like there's a baby in there and they are eating it early. Yes, right? So I'm gonna show you what they look like So when you open it up, right? Mm-hmm It's a duck. It's a baby duck. It's a baby duck, but they but it's a street food It's like what we would have like, you know, and you and you bite into the duck But it's the head and everything so they do this. Oh, no, no Don't do that, I'm gonna throw up. I know but but that's what you know, yeah. Oh my god, you do that Yeah, wait, they're the bones in there, but it's still soft. Oh, oh

You're sad Feathers feathers so you're like what go today? To pick the feathers out of your mouth. All right, so when you eat the balloon, right? You can literally taste the feathers Yeah, oh my god, right and then you probably crunched down though. That was the eyeball Can you taste you can take well, but what about okay? So the internal organs are not fully grown Yeah Eating babies, yeah, what's crazy what's the sauce vinegar? And you put like baby duck juice

What we do is you take the baby duck all right grind it vinegar and what? Vinegar and soy sauce vinegar and soy sauce. Yeah. Yeah, Jesus Christ. Have you eaten the balloon? Are you out of your mind? No, I won't do it when we go there I go hey, let's try balloon and no one in the car would ever they're not there Everyone's even them the Filipinos like ah Because they've all tried it though. Yeah, what like when's the first time dude when you're a kid Does everybody eat it when you're a kid? Yeah, I guess a snack Yeah, everyone's excited about it when you're young. Yeah when you're young when you get older nobody like your mom doesn't eat it

Yeah, no, well, what's the excitement though? It's like Boba It's not like Boba. Yeah, because when you when it you know Boba ball pops It's the same as a little duck head from a balloon duck skull with brain in it But they pretend that it's like Boba. Yeah, they don't think it's a duck head What do you like? What do you think when you eat it? Do you think it's a little baby duck? No, we just see it as like an egg. Yeah, you think it's an egg Yeah, alright, so if I had a balloon right now and you were hungry you would eat it. Yeah. Oh, wow the juice in it is really good Oh my god, dude. Oh my god, but is it good without all the stuff?

Yeah, so it's good on its own because I feel the same way about like you don't like I bet you you don't like oysters Oh, I love oysters. Oh, you do your fucking mind. Okay. Okay. We've always this together. Do you eat oysters without anything on it? Yes, okay, some people some people have to have Tabasco and A horse radish and all this stuff you can just go I could do that and have I been known to put Tabasco? Yeah, I mean everybody does everybody does but I'm saying but you like them raw too. I love anything raw in that way Really? Yeah octopus

Well, I won't eat octopuses that one documentary, but I used to eat What documentary my octopus teacher someone what is it? What is it? You have to watch it? My octopus teacher. Yeah, it's on Netflix. You see it. Yeah. Yeah, what is it? Oh my god, dude It'll break your fucking heart. I'm already breaking. So it's like this South African He I guess he's a video journalist like he does like Naturals geographic shit, you know me in in the tundra and he'd been doing that all his life And he got sick and tired of it so he went home

he decided to quit and Live in his house that he grew up in which is right on the coast of South Africa, huh? And so what he would do every day is go in the water and he had equipment But he would go free diving, but he would and he would film things, you know, I mean like under our sea creatures. Sure but one day he runs across a little octopus and At first like octopus would see him because he'd be just white man floating in there, right? Mm-hmm would scurry away, but eventually what happened is is the octopus recognizes them and Pull out his hand and shake his hand. No way. Yeah, and then they became friends

and they would and the octopus would come out of its little hole and Go on to the guy's chest and just sleep there. It's kind of now. No, I'm kidding you. I'm not kidding you They were friends, right? Yeah, the octopus will get excited to see him. So it has that kind of um Sentient, you know, um, so it's got an understanding How do you know how do you get excited like all of its arms start waving? Yeah, that's how it gets excited They would play too. They would tag tag and they would swim around and stop and play around and stop really. Yeah, and then Are those arms or legs and then I have to say there's a scene where um, he has sex with the octopus No, no a shark comes along

to hunt the fucking octopus when he's already befriended it and and octopus on the sharp Bites the octopus in the arm ribs. Oh an arm and the dude's just filming. Yeah Well, he's like a fuckface, but he has seven more You lose one arm, you got seven more arms, but it does grow back. Yeah, that's a big of a deal. So you got You do imagine if your dick fell off you just got a new one sometimes Oh, you know like oh, it's June or like a black one grew. Well, that'd be cool

Yeah, you lost your yellow my yellow little yellow one and a black one a big like but then every year you lose that you never know What you're gonna get next year, right? Right? You've got a really kind of get you get one like that's a Really dark Indian style or crooked all right like a total L Have you ever seen those like the L shapes or like one like you're just like completely just white. That's mine Yeah, and that that's how it is too little chodey chode. It's just really round. What if it cuts off and all of a sudden you get a vagina? Oh, that would be a word that's you got for every year. It's one whole year with a baby the worst Or what if it and then it's a bottle do what if it's two bottles in it? You would if I do it if I if I lost my penis. Yeah, and a vagina grew back. I

Might fuck a couple of dudes. You'd be a whore. I know I just want to see what I feel like you You'd let me have Funny you wouldn't let me know you'd be so angry But what if I would be like I'd be like dude slow down I would choke you out. I know, but I could just see you just look at me. Just Yeah, right and then it would be the weirdest if I like came Imagine you're pumping me right And I just go yes, and I walk away and then I go and I'd be like

You don't get me a warm towel. I'm like, I'll see you at the podcast at four Yeah, yeah, and then I'd have to make that walk to the bathroom take the towel warm it and wash my badge That would never happen if I had a vagina who's the first who's the first guy you'd have sex with In the building In the world No, who would it be in the building me Andre's or George if I had to pick one guy in the building it would be on dress Are you You're the last one George. Yeah, you're the last one shame the shame. I would his dick inside his flesh

He's like inside me. Yeah Yeah, right, right And he doesn't even do it in the hole it's like on the lips, right George you missed you miss but Andres Andreas because He's cute. He's very cute. Yeah. No, he's really cute little dick Medium probably little I saw it medium medium. Yeah. Yeah, he'll probably be really respectful in there He's like, are you finished yet? Make sure that you got yours, but you know what probably in the world

I would probably try to let go to like one celebrity. Yeah, I would go probably try to any of like an Avenger probably Yeah, Chris Chris Yeah, pine. I love Chris Pine. I would like Chris Pine do it. Yeah, or is Chris Evans also Chris Evans Yeah, he's Chris Pine isn't in the Avengers movies. I don't know. I don't know the difference between those two guys Well, Chris Pine is See Star Trek, right? I don't know. Yeah, but Chris Evans and Chris Pine for me seem like they're the same guy Yeah, they're not. No. No, they are to me and I would fuck Chris Pine over Chris Evans Okay, Chris Peratt Chris Pratt's good looking too. Yeah, but he's more of a comedian

I don't know probably not. He's funny too funny too funny for me. You want someone serious? Hardy Tom Hardy is my guy. That's literally my guy. I let him come inside me. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, or Charlie Hunnam Yeah, now if you had a vagina, would you let me fuck you? I Would even if I had a vagina, I'd still I would still be fucking you Yeah, no, it'd be too it'd be too hard with you in the building if I had a vagina I would do I guess I'd let Andres go first as well. Yeah, and then you and then obviously Obviously George last but that would be you would have a stopwatch with George. Yeah. Yeah, I get you get three minutes Max once this goes off. I'm gonna push you punch him in the face. I would punch him right in the face

You got to wear a condom. Yeah with George for sure. Everyone else no condom. Yeah, because George is dirty dirty boy Yeah, you got to wear gloves. Yep. Yeah Corona virus mask. I want him in a suit. I want him in a hazmat suit. Yeah, a little opening to put out It's a little my little peepee. Yeah to the hole. Yeah, it'd be difficult. Yeah, we tape it Filming yeah, because it would be like I would do it just to so that it's more of an acting job. It's a story Yeah, it's good for the park. Yeah, it's work. It's work. I don't not getting anything out of this, right? Right, it's a full job. That's a full-time job. Yeah. Yeah dealing with that project Yeah, we're doing this for a project

But it wouldn't be like for his any satisfaction. How about this Andres? Yeah, if you had a vagina, who's the first guy in here? You'd have sex with Don't sound so enthusiastic Yeah Probably you Andrew. Thank you. Yeah second Bobby. Okay, George The best part about this game is I'm not even I would we don't even ask George we he doesn't even get to be a part of it He's in last place in the game that he can't play. I want to know what George all right Go George George if you had a vagina, who would you have that sex were at first in this room?

I Go with you Bobby. It's good. There's a curiosity. I knew he's such a kiss-ass I knew he was gonna say you and you know what that feels good. It's fake. It's not fake You know, he would go with Andres first everybody wants the fancy be intimidated by me even yesterday I was playing video games, right? Mm-hmm and he comes in the garage and he always like feels what my mood's gonna be What do you play video games in the garage? That's the word. That's what all the console is and stuff. Oh, the podcast We haven't been over huh? Where do the cars go? Not in the garage. Yeah. Yeah, but the podcast is in the garage. I didn't know yeah, I haven't been to the air conditioning

I haven't been to the house pandemics been happening So yesterday I was playing games and I could hear him squeak open the door, right? Yeah, and I can see him tiptoe around Baby looks he doesn't say hi. I'll just look to see what my mood is right? He still is Intimidated by me a little bit after all these years. Yeah, how many five has it been six you've worked together way longer than that now Probably eight years. Wow, and he still just can't get the manhood up together to like Approach you never raised his voice at me. He's never Really put his foot down. Why do you think that is?

That's why he works with me, right? That's the keys. I think I think it's because he's a survivor. Mm-hmm, and he gets certain people How about you? He doesn't talk back to you? No, no, no, no, but also also my rapport with him is different than you. Well, what do you mean? I? Treat him some I treat him a little bit more human than you I Treat him more like a person That's and you treat him more like a an object

No, yeah, no because I'm gonna say something about George. Yeah That I believe that everything happens for a reason Mm-hmm. I believe you meet certain people in certain times I believe that and I believe that I was meant to meet George. Mm-hmm. I believe that he has a A lot to do with my recent successes in in my career. I don't know about that, but okay I believe that okay, I'm not gonna give him that kind of credit I am okay, and I believe that he's good with Kalei like he's good with my family and And jewels she doesn't like him. I know she doesn't yeah, I know you don't and

He freaked me out, and I will never let him in fully right right yeah because when you let people like that in They take advantage of it. They take all of it. They take all of it. You wake up one day So you're in the Mojave Desert with an iPhone in your chest, right underneath the gazebo, but that's the nicest thing I'll ever say about him. Yeah, he'll never get that again from me. We'll have to cut that from the pod Andres We don't even leave that in No, but I really do believe that I think that he he I trust him. Yeah Like thoroughly not look, but you and I's relationship is that feel good or no? No, don't give him that's enough What thanks, Bobby?

I know I know yeah, but we're never just we're gonna stay the same, okay See it works every time it works Sellout George is such a surprise. I know he is he really is He really is and like he married an Asian woman just because of you. You know that right well He had zero intentions on it and well the honest truth is this yeah, you know what the true story is of how they of how they met You're gonna this is gonna make you laugh. Yeah So, um, Kalilah's best friend growing up. Yeah, right is a girl. I'm not gonna say Let's just I want to just change your name because I want to put her into it

Right, let's just call her Veronica. Give me a better one. Yeah Jamie love it. Okay. Thank you and So, um, Jamie now is married and has has a kid sure, but Jamie Was a girl that was hanging out with all of us, you know me before she was when she was single right is Jamie white What is she white? She's Korean Korean and another one. So Jamie Um was around and she she was free, you know, in many way hippie-dippy a little bit fun fun fun And George fell in love with her. Seriously. Yeah. Are you being serious? Yeah, like actually was like I love this girl Yes, wow and he

Would go as far as Buy her gifts and stuff. What kind of gifts? I don't know what kind of gifts George He bought her gifts dinner Right boat boat boat two eggs or but I mean doesn't surprise me. You know what I mean? He has a farm right and he has his white shrewt that he is Dwight from the office, right and He did everything he could yeah, and she completely rejected them Wow did not even like it not even like I'll let you take me out on a date nothing Wow, and it broke him It broke his heart. He went deep off the edge. Yes, and then he found another one another Korean. Yeah, right

Where do you where do you find him Koreatown? But he I could I say something about his wife she really does love him he loves her and it's I would hope so they're married Do you think it's but do you think he likes his wife as much as he liked that that Jamie? You sure more George Jamie's here to say hi What if we brought out Jamie? No, because she's she's up. She's she's going with us. Yeah to the desert who she is. Yeah, is George Thank God that have been bad, huh? We try not to mix the two. I get it. I get it But so Jamie yeah is in the past and now George is happily married, right George

But he has a thing with Koreans. I think why why is it George? I mean look at he's look look he wanted you first He wanted you first you want to be first right? He works with a Korean Mm-hmm, and when I went into maker when I met him a long long time ago, right? He was the only guy to really outwardly. He was like this guy We had 20 producers in a room, right? I'm not kidding. No, I know right and the person that owns the company goes all right, so what producers want to work with that? That's George And I go who the fuck is that country nerd? Yeah, right? That's George. He's new I gotta fuck him

Oh, you wrote him off. Yeah in the beginning. I would write you off in the beginning, right? Oh, completely you you brought my assistant into a writer's room and kicks me out once. I remember that Yeah, but you know what I realized through time is I go, you know what? This guy really believes in me. Yeah, and I Feel bad because she didn't like shit. No, you don't I did you did past then but now you don't know now Where he got in who else is he works for me at tiger belly. He's my producer there. He's my producer here, right? And he does a great job and it's an okay job He could do a better job. Yeah. Yeah, but he is somebody that is a part of the family he is. Yeah, I love

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Once again for $20 off your Buffy Comforter visit Buffy.co and enter the code bad friends I gotta tell you I like George just fine. I lean much more towards Andres something about that little guy that I love the most He just he's got the flavor that I like I know you do I don't trust white people and that's part of it Yeah, and I don't trust George as much because he's white and Andres I know he's trustworthy and even if Andres backstab me. Yeah They would he's Spanish. They would do it in a cool way with care with care. See He the Spaniards have pride in the way they do things

Right. They're smooth. They're silky You know that I just their culture embodies something about The trickery is at least beautiful, right? Yeah, like if me and Andres were dating if he cheated on me I know he would he would have a the way he would tell me about it would be Smooth and suave, you know, like how would you I met someone else, you know, but Yeah, all right Andrew, I have I have been calling you. I've been calling you. Yes. Um, how can we ever call me back? I have to tell you something. What is it? I met someone new. No

But my love for you does not waver. No, I love for you to hear to the moon And back. Yeah, this new person in my life. Yeah, he is a fleeting shooting star What you mean the world to me But I just want to sleep with him for a little while And when I am done with this trash man person Yeah, back to the love of my life, you know the song, you know the song if a bird if you let a bird from a cage and let it free If he's a lobby will come back, you know That's you to me. It's so good. It's sweet. He's a sweetheart dude. I want you to play that guy in a movie, dude

That's really good. The accent's terrible. Is the accent really really bad? No, but there's something that's sincere and doughy about it. Yeah, your eyes. Yeah, sweet. It really becomes doughy and it gets watery Yeah, and really just sweet. Why can't we go back to character-driven movies like that where they're just so just like dumb and fun Wait, my buddy and I said that today because I said like Billy Madison And happy Gilmore were both such hits because they were such dumb characters. Yeah, but you loved you were along for the ride A hockey player is gonna make it on the PGA. It's like no way, but I love that like those movies like that in our

When, you know, we were coming up was like It didn't matter that it was insane. Yeah, nobody cares that a 28 year old guy cannot go back to elementary school It doesn't matter. It was funny They don't everything now has to be rooted in some Kind of reality and it's played real. Everything is played real. Yeah Like when's the last time you saw a comedy movie where the fantasy was like that where it's just it's so dumb How about you guys did you hear anything? Do you when's the last time you saw a comedy? That the fantasy was ridiculous like that, but you just bought in

Well, it's also how they play it like, um What's steve correll, right? Yeah in um for your man. Okay, right that character that he plays But that was a that was a whole movie about people from that time period I know but that character right is so exaggerated brick right and so like dumb almost that character Yeah, right that it is it does play into more of a broad Unreal character. Yeah, but that but but to be fair that movie is not about him I'm saying what one is elite that anchorman will ferrell's character in anchorman is still another not realistic portrayer Yes, it is totally of a guy of that era for sure. It is

Don't you guys think so? Yes, it is Yeah, it will ferrell is actually just a misogynistic newscast reporter was full of himself It's so exaggerated though is what I'm saying. I know but it's but it's still realistic Right, like like a misogynistic News like did you ever see richard? What was his name that used to do family feud? What was his name? Richard Dawson? Yeah, and he I mean he was that guy. He was like, hey nice tits sweetheart Why don't you guess something they would smoke you pat him on the butt when they get when they kiss them on the mouth Yeah, it was the that's what ron burgundy was

Right, so I'm saying like I can't think of a film that I've seen since that era when we were younger that like the lead character Yeah, was a just Insane like what what about that nick swordsman movie that he did called bucky? Uh, oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, bucky bucky larson. Uh, yeah fame thing that is that Fallen the caliber it is I guess that is it wasn't a bigger. It wasn't like a massive movie But yeah, that was more of like a fun comedy indie. Yeah, he got zero percent on ron tomatoes No, it didn't really Seriously, yeah

That's mean it's mean zero I think so. Let me look it up. Yeah, but why zero? I don't know But when that I felt I wanted to call him when that review came out or when the rotten tomatoes. Did you? No, no, I decided but what do you say to somebody? I heard about this fucking I heard about the zero I don't know. How do you? How do you know how do you start that conversation? Oh, it got no, it's not zero anymore. What is it? It's three percent. Oh, no, see Yeah, that's good

It's not zero. Why would they do that's that you see that to me is being cruel for no reason Because look up here. Look up this now I go to see tyler parry's movies and they're atrocious, but I love them because they're bad. Look up any medea Look up medea boo a halloween or whatever I went to see that a couple years ago with a friend in the movie theater and it was that it was so It's so bad. It's funny medea's family reunion. Sure any of them. Okay. What are those? Those are these are not well done 26% all right still better than three Yeah, like but that those movies are terrible

Yeah, and and they're just fun to go watch because you know, they're gonna be bad and poorly Dude one time in that medea one of the halloween you can see a boom operator I'm not even kidding. You can see a man on the front lawn Holding a mic and he looks right at camera and he goes like this. He goes. Yeah. Yeah And then looks away like he's gonna hot if he looks away. It won't be holding a fucking huge boom. Yeah I like bad movies a lot see me too. That's my point, but I don't think I think being mean about it is stupid Don't give it a three senses of a different reviews, right? It's not just one guy It's like, you know, the 3% is like 300 reviews that were bad. I know but they all like jumping on the same train

Right, they think it's fun to pile on because it's like You know when you you know when you do this to friends when you go, um, if you went out to eat or something You're like, did you like it and everyone's like, I don't know like if everyone kind of went, uh, not really you would also go Yeah, I don't know really Yeah, it's true. I think that in in many ways good movies are like that too Like you see a movie at a film festival, right and you look toward like a group of critics that are Huge that look that look like they know what they're talking about. They're just, you know, they've been around for a long time You know, right and like that guy joe morgan center from the new york time time

Yeah, or whatever and then, you know, you're afterwards, you know, you know, everyone doesn't just disperse Oh, they after the chat they go. Hey, you know, they talk what you think joe Oh masterpiece. Yeah, everybody. Yeah, you know the guy fell asleep in it. You know, you're hindering it, right? The masterpiece, right, you know, maybe that happens as well. I totally think so I think there's movies I could blow on at a pro like I thought once upon a time in hollywood was fine Masterpiece it was fine masterpiece of the Tarantino movies masterpiece not even close. Yes pulp fiction was a way better movie No, kill bills were better than that. Jackie brown was better. It was so good. I loved every frame of that poo poo He drove around the city for the most time. That's what I loved about it. Why hold the la

First of all, right? It's an homage to that Era so what what do you mean? So what the story jumps all over the place? It's all over all his movies jump all over the fucking place No, but there's a concise story. None of those sets right like when he's driving through town was CGI They were all You're you're just impressed with the production value more than the movie itself. No, I thought every frame of that movie made me smile From the homage to I love old hollywood and the way they portrayed it to this weird story about Some like tv actor who's on his way out and his stuntman and there and then also the switch at the end It's I thought the whole thing was so great and I've seen the movie 20 times

The switch at the end the story that was based on a true story, but ended up not being an alternate reality show is so good man, I'm okay because I I didn't expect it and then when all that went down at the end was so funny Well, that was the best part of the movie right the fight the fight scene was amazing the whole thing was great Other than that. I was just like, oh, this is okay. Yeah, so that's my point though. I think you and I should be movie critics Right to be great because you're not gonna influence me. I think that that movie was a masterpiece. Andres is a film student Andres, did you love that movie? I

Well, I was gonna betray Andrew with care and was Oh, right for the right words, but I think you loved it, huh? Bobby's getting more attractive by the day So you loved it. Yeah, I thought it was you thought that was better than his other films Not better Not better. Okay. What film is better than that then of his of his collection Pulp fiction 100. Fuck him. This is my point. I'm not saying it's a bad movie. It just is not as good as his others Jackie brown. No, it's not. Jackie brown is a phenomenal story. Yeah, it's better than I'm just telling you my better than Jackie brown Incorrect, better than hateful eight reservoir dogs, right? Not better than reservoir dogs. Not better than reservoir dogs

No way. All right, or Pulp Fiction. It's on par With Inglourious Bastards. Yeah, sure right there. Those are probably some on par with Django unchained No, I don't I disagree. Yeah, I think I think the story of Django was Django was so good. It was way better. Yeah It was a that that's my point. It's a Tarantino movie. They're all good That's the thing you're saying it's up there. It's not as good as the rest of the stuff You then you it was overhyped You have no idea what you're talking about. No, see that's and that's a that's a dumb statement that a dumb guy says No, no, no, I'll because here's another reason why I like it. You can't just say that

Here's another reason why I like it. Okay. Okay. Is is I love the fact that like um Jackie Chan gets I mean, um Bruce Lee gets it's all right. Bruce Lee gets beat up. But here's here. Just listen to my point Jackie Chan is maybe in my point of view, you know, I enjoyed the relationship between the two Brad Pitt. That's the first time you've talked about it. What used to first of all mentioned this set and no No, no, no, I love their relationship and that that hollywood used to be like that, right? Where the stuntmen, you know, became really good friends with the actor you pine for old hollywood Not only that right and I also like and I relate to it the movie Here's a kid, right who's on his way out and I felt like that in my career before yeah, but he's a really good-looking movie star

Well, no, but Leonardo DiCaprio was a tv star trying to get into movies. I'm sorry. He was a really good-looking television star I Keep the first part is very important I know and you're trying to dig at me, but it's not a dig. It's just you're not you're nothing like him I understand that I know but you're a goofball who gets you know who fucking shows your belly on stage This guy is supposed to be a debonair hot guy from I know, but I'm just saying just the the idea Of a good-looking. I know I'm not that right right, but a guy who's on his way out on his way out Is what I'm saying and I can relate to that aspect sure that's true

Right of a guy that's on his way out and how like After this fucking chaos that happens, right at the end it seems as though that he was able to reinvent himself too So there's a good story. You know me. Yeah, he gets invited into the Polanski house, right? Yeah, right, which is fucking crazy insane But I love the idea like those scenes where he is like in a scene and he cuts You know he cuts himself like he starts over or the frustrations in the fucking green room I'm sure you've done that. Yeah, totally you fucked up on a scene and you're fucking You know, I mean, yeah, you lose really lose it and all that's all that stuff

I've never seen in a movie before betrayed and I relate it to it. I guess I guess look it is a good I said it's a good film. It's just not of the stuff he makes the reason Maybe that my inherent issue is I'm not in love with movies about Hollywood. I never have like there we go then I just fuck. No, it's just it just never see swimming with sharks No Oh my god. Who what who is that? Kevin Spacey Benicio del Toro. You have to watch it. Is it about Hollywood? Yeah, this is my problem I don't like it's so good. Hollywood is already jerking off in its own mouth

I I would rather see original stories that have nothing to do with we have that, you know, I don't like and I think they're better I don't like I don't like Emma or any of these fucking colonial fucking English You know, I mean 1700 movies. I don't relate to it where people wear wigs and I don't you know or whatever I don't like it. You do like some of them. No, I don't you like none of them No, I don't relate to it when I'm watching and I'm like, oh, these are just aristocratic white people In a castle arguing about like, you know status and and and betrayal. I don't give a fuck I get that You like it. No, no, no, I mean, I get that you that's annoying to you. It's annoying to me because I'm a fat Asian guy

Yeah, why would I relate in any way? Imagine if if they had an aristocratic fat Asian one I let no, but I do like um old, you know, Asian ones. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. I relate to those But I I agree with you. I don't like the Victorian stuff either. That's not my go to my thing I like there's movie that but the point is there's movies for everyone, right? But it's like there are some movies where I'll what like dangerous liaisons Is a Victorian kind of them love that movie. Okay, you're right because there's just something about I just like the movie. I get it. I just I have I'm a weirdo for For things about Hollywood. I think I don't I don't love it

Um, my dad was a fan of westerns and I um I only like spaghetti westerns. I Italian ones. I like Sergio Leone films. I love yeah, they're they're great The bad and the ugly because I think they they just shot like a Tarantino movie. Well, they're they're so they're phenomenal They're so good. So you like once upon a time in the west. Do you like anything by anything John Wayne or no? No, I never I've never seen it pilgrim. Yeah, I don't like it None none of his stuff Well, I like the conquer. You know what that is. Yeah, what the what the conquer? No, oh, it's the one John Wayne played gangest con

Did you know that good movie? Did you do it? No At one point in his career He goes, I want to play gangest con. Yeah, and the studio was like No, no No, he's like i'm John Wayne Right, I'm gonna do a screen test Listen here pilgrim pilgrim ching chong ching chong

I'm gonna be gangest con. I'm gonna show you You think I'm lying? No John Wayne How in song you know what I you know what you know what what I think about Is all the Chinese actors who auditioned for it and then found out that he got the rock Well, there's no way they auditioned anybody. Yeah, they just gave it to him And then and then they casted it with a bunch of Chinese people and they were like Like why wouldn't you cast a Chinese guy? And they're like because it's John Wayne. Yeah, I mean

It looks good actually Really? He did have squinty eyes. Yeah, John Wayne was always like this Yeah Yeah, it's pretty good. It's so insulting. My dad loves western I know but this is so insulting. Is it though? Yeah, it is dude. Why? Because it's a fucking because let me say this right now What if there were no big Chinese actors back then? There was who? fucking Sulu

From star wars. Yeah He wasn't like manly enough to be gangest con What is he gay? No, just because he's not like a big strong tough guy. Genghis Khan was like a big guy Back then probably, um Mr. Miyagi was probably around Was he not around back then? Because Miyagi's like five three like 86 pounds But marita pat marita pat marita, right? Yeah. No, he couldn't do it. Huh? How tall are you by the way by four?

It's my mom's I I just I was thinking about I I know that Somebody asked me how tall you were. Yeah, and I'm a little guy. I said five six, but I had no idea. Yeah I'm so small that I can't go out of the green room sometimes because especially I may have been in texas Yeah, if I met the addison improv because whenever I walk around after the show Someone will always pick me up. Yeah, they grab you. I'm a man Here he is. Here he is. Yeah. Yeah. I hate it. I don't like to be touched I don't want I don't I think it's okay to say no to all that stuff

Why don't you just get one of the security guards there to walk you up to where you're going to take pictures and stuff? So then nobody can grab you Oh, yeah, I had to one time when I was at the miami improb you ever play that room the old one Not the old one. Oh my god. It was a nightmare And there was a riot In the room like a fight. Yeah, like a group of family and one family was fighting another family Oh, wait, did you put it on youtube? No. Oh, that was another fight. I had sandy danto put that on youtube Oh, yeah, I had another fight in my ontario show that was here in california

Yeah, where it was just sometimes riots break out in my shows that was a fist fight in like the third row That guy was punching that guy in the back of the head. It was crazy. It's on youtube people can find it Yeah, yeah, yeah, but like some and so um, I remember afterwards The security like the doorman had to walk me to my hotel room because they were scared that you were gonna say I started the fight What did you do? I don't remember You did something I always say things and I go. Oh, why did I say that and it's starting a fight now? were you the one who who Who got the um rocks glass thrown at their head in the or was that you know

Somebody got a no. I thought that was you somebody got a full glass of like whiskey or whatever a drink at a rock class Yeah, and it just missed their head and it hit the but I don't I thought that was you for something but I remember hearing that story in my mind I thought they had said it was you and I said dude if you could hit in the head with a rocks glass You you're done. You're you could you could you'd pass out and then what if you hit your head on the ground and split open your skull Yeah, that stuff scares me when someone threw something like that. I saw charles kozard. It was a black back in the day On in the or yeah in an audience man audience member punches him in the face And charles kozard does one of those things where you know how fighters when they get knocked so hard they freeze

Oh, their arms go off. Yeah, so he gets hit and he freezes like this, right? And he and it made me laugh It's funny. It's funny when somebody goes so he freezes, but he doesn't fall right away Oh, he's still there trying to like control it, but he's frozen, right? So he freezes And he has the mic in his hand like this And he slowly falls but he falls over Then the guy the guy that punches him runs out into the sunset. We never find him again. Yeah, it's the best That's what happens. Yeah, get away the guy got away with it

I was at the club that night that that guy got shot in the chest. Were you there? Oh my god, no on the patio. You know that story, don't you? That was that's a real that's a real scary story a man ran up to a guy on the patio of the comic store I'll never forget. I was in the side by the the bellarum side and people were smoking and we were talking by the parking lot and a guy Literally got out of a car Walked right onto the patio went right up to a guy and shot him in the chest and then the guy dies immediately and Josh Nasser and a couple doorman

Holding his body. I know while he dies. Yes Right, so the guy's dying bleeding out from the wind the front door of the or somebody's on somebody's on stage Somebody's on stage right feeling three feet away feeling in a different way Yeah, yeah, how crazy is it that at that club? In recent memory. Mm-hmm. Some guy just got shot and you know, he was like if you were working at like jamba juice Right, let's say we were working at jamba juice, right? And some guy got shot. Yeah, orange dream In front of jamba juice. What an insane insane, right? You and I would probably never work at that jamba jamba juice again. I'd leave california. I would leave that would scar me

I would never drink juice You know what I mean juices out every time you see a jamba you'd shudder PTSD I have to say this. I am very very jealous that you're going to Hawaii Because I need a vacation so bad and I'm not lying. I want to go so bad, but I can't you can go for three days We're shooting. No, and they make you quarantine, dude Oh, that's right

So I would I lose too many days and I'm shooting now. So I can't have you read the script. Yeah, I've read I've read four of them Right. Are you everyone everyone? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but the first one takes place in a different Time period. No, it takes place somewhere else. Oh Oh god, yeah, I can't I almost slipped it out. Okay, but anyway, um But I will say this I can say this some of the cameos that we have this year in the rap world. Yeah insane It's just it's gotten to the point where like they because kevin hart is a producer

Imagine kevin hart texts literally whoever. Yeah They all love him Everyone in the rap world everyone in the comedy world knows him and likes him That's why the power of those guys is astonishing to me because he can literally met him kevin. Yeah Yeah, I mean No No, be real. No, I mean. Yes. No It's it. Isn't weird. That's weird kevin and I have met he doesn't know it

Yeah, yeah, yeah here. You know, it's weird. We met for five seconds at the thing people go all the time Like what was so-and-so to work with don't know right and you're like, I don't know Yeah, you could be on screen with them. Don't know don't know You know, I did a screw. I did a sketch with ryan reynolds But you didn't I didn't because he we were in the same area. He wasn't there. Yeah, I was in a scene with james franco In pineapple express. We were like he was right there. And me and ken jung were guns right here never met him He doesn't know who the fuck I am. Do you even say hi? No, they go don't even look at him I bet you he knows who you are. He might but i'm just saying don't look they said that don't look at him

Really? Yeah, and i'm like You know If I could see it and like bobby stop staring at the sky. I'm just saying like you you um Yeah, well, I said that to one of the one of the press women said What's it like working with kevin heart? Yeah, and I said I have no idea and she goes come on He's the executive producer tell us and I go no he I don't know and then she goes You know, she's kind of getting annoyed at my answer because it's too truthful She wants me to be like it's incredible. You know, she wants me to do the thing. Yeah. Yeah, and instead I go

ma'am He's in the green room that I'm also in right we're in the same green room without Yeah, we're not we don't know each other. We don't know. I know he's he's in the room It's crazy People just because they see it and they go they assume these things that's like but sometimes it is true Like jim carrey did i'm dying up here and I we had dinner all the time right right so that sometimes it's cool Yeah, like I know you know a lot of people aren't magnum pi fans, but like the stars everyone on the cast And we taxed and we're good friends. Why do you say they're not fans? I think people love I love the show

I love doing the show, but you know, but my point is is that Um, you know, sometimes it does work, but then sometimes it's like I have no idea even who they are Or what they have no idea who's an actor that you worked with that you I know this is for you because I know it'll be somebody that you don't know Uh that you don't know if this is true, but you think they don't like you but you don't know that to be true But you worked with them for a while and you're just like I don't even know if they like me or not Because you just never really connected or talked or had a lot of scenes together

Like you just can't tell Not a mean way not like you don't like them, but just Sasha berncola. You just don't know if he likes you I don't know if he likes me, but you'd worked with them. Yeah, and you know, I think you would say hi I don't know how we feel so you don't know if he thinks you're funny. I think he thinks not funny I just don't know um if he likes you as a person. I don't know Isn't it so weird? I don't know. I don't like that feeling. Yeah, but you know, it's not my job to know Well, he respects you enough to hire you. Yeah, that's a huge thing. I also worked with him sometimes. Yeah. Yeah. Did you see the new movie or no? No, I don't know. I haven't seen it either. I want to

I don't know. I'm like, I think it's me because it's like I get you know, like I remember the first time I did curb And larry david was like doing a crossword puzzle and he's super sweet, right? But I remember like I was just like How I was what I was thinking and my and I sometimes when I'm around certain people and I'm in a situation where like I can't believe I'm here Yeah, I get so overly nervous that I overthink same, right? And I get ultra sensitive So one little like head twitch, right? Oh, that means he doesn't like me, right? Right, but what you just assume certain things he's writing and you're like, um, yeah, is that your car and he's like Yeah, and you're like, oh cool. Do you like it? And he's like Yeah, yeah, I like it. Yeah, and then you and your head and you're going but there are people that are around you, believe it or not

That feel the same way About me? Yeah, because you know, there are people right that like just say who it is. No, I'm not I don't not say anything specific But it's like I've been in situations too where like I'm at a club Right and some opener is opening for me and they're really excited and you can tell they're overly excited Yeah, right and so I don't want them to think that I don't like them because I know I know they're ultra sensitive as well Sure, right, but then there are sometimes I do I become mean Just to see what they do why I don't know I just do but this was the one girl I was in Phoenix Yeah, and this one girl was so nervous

I go you better do a good job Bobby They're just legit and she I was just kidding Yeah I've only been doing for like eight months, but I'm gonna be fine She's having like a fucking mental breakdown I don't know man. It's like eight. It's an eight room So mean

I know I was just right I've been doing every night every night I've been going up My agency My agency My agents here My agents here of course then they're not there So she goes up on stage And

She says a joke and he gets a laugh And I'm in you know in the green room Laughing That's a funny joke. She's really doing it Right And then three minutes later she says the same joke Oh no She said the same joke and at the punchline she pauses and she goes

Did I say this joke already In the audience all simultaneously goes Yes And she goes And she starts crying Cause you Cause you Right and I'm in the green room

And I can't breathe Dying laughing I'm on the floor like a fucking fish You're really laughing right She gets off right and she's you know It's not bubble crying It's not bubble So sorry

And I jokingly go you're fired Bobby I know I'm kidding We all make the mistake And I teach her lessons about You know all these experiences She killed herself She's dead

And at the funeral you're like telling the story And then she's up there It's not bubbles What an idiot Well you know it's fun to mess with people It's fun but also you can't do that anymore I can be mean I'm not gonna do it anymore

Not in this world Alright Thank you for being a bad friend I hold you got up a cold bed How are you peeing? Sweet how are you peeing? I love it I've been using this eyebrow thickening spray

It cost $14.99 $14.99 Go to Cybrow.com Go to Cybrow.com Go to Cybrow.com Go to Cybrow.com How are you peeing? Sweet how are you peeing?

I love it Cybrow.com Go to Cybrow.com Go to Cybrow.com Go to Cybrow.com Go to Cybrow.com I love it Everything that we've done so far

Has been very good I think What do you guys think? Okay I'm sure you're so offended See the jewels You're playing? No This

How are you peeing? This How are you peeing? Once there was a pumpkin Gourd Connecticut You have to get closer to the mic Go to Cybrow.com

There was a woman named Cybrow Very well But one time There was A pumpkin Go to Cybrow.com How are you peeing? Sweet how are you peeing?

How are you peeing? Sweet how are you peeing? I love it Cybrow.com Go to Cybrow.com Go to Cybrow.com By the way I called Bobby Three times the past two days

And I waited as long as I could I go Who is Who Who Who Who Who

Who Who Who Who