Bad Friends - Open Chucanos & Closed Chichitos & Live Pekitos

Episode Date: May 30, 2022

Thank you to our Sponsors: https://babbel.com code: badfriends & https://upstart.com/badfriends & https://www.onnit.com/badfriends YouTube Subscribe: http://bit.ly/BadFriends Watch Fahim Anwar's Hat Trick: https://youtu.be/HaTA-HVCo4w 0:00 How Does Only Fans Work? 6:15 Celebrity Super Spa 12:38 Special Guest Fahim Anwar 18:32 Bobby's Brazilian Butt Lift  25:40 How to Win a Talent Show 36:39 Paying for Comedy Shows 42:56 Fahim's Comedy Store Special: Hat Trick 45:41 Is Bobby a Tuesday/Wednesday Comedian? 49:56 Why Marrying Multiple Wives is a Nightmare 56:35 Naming Antonio Cromartie's Children 58:22 Bobby and Andrew's Only Fans Video More Fahim Anwar Special: https://youtu.be/HaTA-HVCo4w Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/fahimanwar Twitter: https://twitter.com/fahimanwar For Tickets and More: https://www.fahimanwar.com More Bobby Lee TigerBelly: https://www.youtube.com/tigerbelly Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bobbyleelive Twitter: https://twitter.com/bobbyleelive Tickets: https://bobbyleelive.com More Andrew Santino Whiskey Ginger: https://www.youtube.com/andrewsantinowhiskeyginger Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino Twitter: https://Twitter.com/cheetosantino Tickets: http://www.andrewsantino.com More Bad Friends iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-friends/id1496265971 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/badfriendspod Twitter: https://twitter.com/badfriends_pod Official Website: http://badfriendspod.com Opening Credits and Branding: https://www.instagram.com/joseph_faria & https://www.instagram.com/jenna_sunday Credit Sequence Music: http://bit.ly/RocomMusic // https://www.instagram.com/rocom Character Design: https://www.instagram.com/jeffreymyles Bad Friends Mosaic Sign: https://www.instagram.com/tedmunzmosaicart Produced by: George Kimmel & Bryce Hallock - 7EQUIS Podcast Producers: Andres Rosende & Pete Forthun This podcast episode was sponsored by Candy Crush Sponsorships: on for this episode Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots? Woo! White dude and an Asian dude. Woo! You two are disgusting. Woo! Well, you two are something.

Bad friends. Anchor. Anchor. If you haven't heard about anchor. It's the easiest way to make a podcast. It's the easiest way to make a podcast. Let me explain. Oh, please.

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Because I know what it is, but I don't know how it works. What happens is you can put almost anything on there. It doesn't have to be nudity anymore. It can be, you can do anything. There's people on there that are making like tens of thousands of dollars a month and all they're doing is showing feet. Wow. We don't even have to show nudity, no butthole, no nothing, and we can still make a bunch

of money. I don't have the cracks in my feet because I have fungi on it. Yes. I think that's a subcategory. Maybe growth. I can do a growth thing every day. Yes. You hear me?

Yes. Update. Do you think people like that? Do you think people would like our OnlyFans? Yeah. See selling feet pics making $200 a day would make way more than that. So in terms of women, what do women show on OnlyFans? Some of them show just sexy lingerie.

Some of them show them changing into like stuff that they bought, like sexy stuff. Some of them are showing their chocha and their totanos and their chochanos. Some of them show their chochanos. Is it porn? Is there sex? I don't know. Is there sex? Yes.

Yes. There's full on. So there's, so I can go on OnlyFans and let's suppose like, you know, Mrs. Bringgardner. Mrs. Baumgardner. Baumgardner. Yeah. Mrs. Baumgardner down the street has an OnlyFans. Yeah.

And you know, she makes love to Ted Baumgardner. Right. And they make love. I can pay for that and watch them make love. Yeah. I'm going to do it. You can watch. You can watch these people either.

Some people, not everybody has sexy stuff on there. Some people just do regular. There's like, now they wanted to get into gaming. They want comics on there. OnlyFans wants. Can you set the prices? So let's this. Yes.

Hypothetically, if you and I want to do OnlyFans, right? And we wanted to really do anal intercourse. Okay. If we want to do anal, I would never do this, by the way. When you say weed, you mean if you wanted to do it? You and I did it. Yeah. If we did it together, but only you wanted to do it.

And I was just doing it to support you because I'm your good friend. That would probably be the case. That's definitely the case. I'd have to convince you to do it. But once I convince you to do it, would you do it? Yeah, but we got it. But then what would we set the price at? Eight million.

Eight or 10 bucks. Maybe like something like that. Yeah. But what I'm saying is that and then once we did it, why can't, can somebody screenshot or download the video and then put it on YouTube? So I think they're working on security measures to make it so you can't steal that stuff, but I think as of right now, it's very stealable. I think people do steal stuff and put it up on the internet, but they're working on privacy

now. Look, their whole thing was they were going to get rid of porn. Do you not remember this? They were going to say, there was a thing where they were like, we're going to stop doing porn. People freaked out because so much of their revenue is from porn. Yeah. So they were like, sorry, sorry, sorry.

We didn't mean it. We didn't mean it. Maybe like Playboy being like, we're not going to show boobs anymore. Right. That's not real. That's all you are. Yeah. But now people are making a really good living and some of them aren't even showing much.

So we don't like, you don't have to show your Cortana and your Chichichu. You don't have to show your Chichichu if you don't want to Chichichu, but you make more money if you show your Chichichu. Right. Let me ask you something about this. Mm hmm. Is I always thought that when, you know, because Penthouse and Hustler, yeah, they show Chichichu. Yeah, they do.

Right. Well, no. Yeah. And some of them show open chachitos. I love open chichitos. Yeah. Little open chachitos. But, you know, it's like going to a 7-Eleven if it's closed.

You know what I mean? You go by, it's like, I know slurpees are in there. You know what I mean? But I want some. I want some. Yeah. Right. So they're still fine.

Fine. But I would rather have it open. I want it open. Right. So the chichito, right? Yeah. You would have think that once those magazines came out, it would have closed down Playboy. Yeah.

Because Playboy doesn't show open chichito. Actually, Playboy only shows the exterior of the chichito. Is chichito a vagina? That's right. That's right. That's right. Yeah. But Playboy only shows, like, the cusp.

It only shows the ridge. The ridge of the chichito. Yeah. And if any, if there's any... It's like showing the floor design of a 7-Eleven. That's right. Pretty much. That's right.

You're seeing the exterior from... The exterior. You get to look at the interior from the exterior, but you don't really see inside. Inside. Like, what are they selling in there? And if there's any products hanging out of the chichito. Right. Like anything falling out of the door a little bit.

Right. Like what? They tuck it in. They tuck it back in. They tuck it right back in. Like you mean an Indian man that works there? Yeah. If it's falling out, they suck it back in.

Yeah. So because they want a clean ridge. But Hustler and Penthouse were like... Open. Chichito all the way out. The way you did the sound effects, right? Not a lot of poo comes out of that. Poo does come out.

Okay. Because if you're cramming and jamming and stuff, and sometimes... It falls out. Yeah. Look at that. Black China earns 20 million a month. A month? A month.

A month on fucking only fans. Bellythorne, 11 million a month. Cardi B, 9 million a month. Tiger. Whoa. Tiger is shown. Tiger is shown. He's shown his pequito.

Yeah. His pequito is live on there. I've heard that you can see Tiger's pequito. Yeah. And Mia Khalifa. Six million. Six million. A year.

Not a month. A year or month? No, dude. Monthly earning. Month? Yeah, I know. Month? Buddy.

What are in the wrong game, dude? 100%. Let's fuck. Okay. We got to show our open chichitos. Fine. Yes, I do. Open chicano.

Chicano. Yeah. Open chicano. Open chicano. Right. We'll do that. And a front chuchito. Yeah.

And you're filming it. Yeah. What do you mean? Who else is going to do it? These guys are busy working. Yeah. I don't want to see you guys fucking. Let me tell you something.

Listen. Listen. You don't have to look. Right. Just look at the monitor. Right. You just see if the camera is in the right position. And then look away.

How hard would it be not to laugh for her though the whole time? What do you mean? The moment she sees. The moment she sees. You'll laugh so hard. Either of her buttholes. Right. And then the pain.

The initial entrance. Yeah. Of the pain in my face. You would laugh so hard. It's so funny. And then we would be laughing because I'm like, dude, it's too. You're going too wrong. When you know me.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No way. Put spit in it. Yeah. Yeah. No.

Dry as a bone. I sent you the video of that woman from YouTube. Yeah. I posted this the other day. Not that one. The other one. The other one. We'll get to that one.

This one. Bro. This somehow went viral on the Internet. Yeah. Again. This woman. There's a show called what's it called? Celebrity Super Spa.

And these women think they're going into wax a woman. Yeah. But you don't get to see it. But this is her reaction when she sees a man's butthole. A man's butthole for the first time. Okay. Yeah. I love it.

The other side of this door I'm expecting to see a big burly man or handsome young man who cares. As long as he's a man. Yes. Are they English? Mm-hmm. Hello. Hi, guys.

Come on. Come here. Dude. Stop. Stop. Push possible. I think she was expecting to see a man and she got a woman. Fire.

A woman's butthole. She's fired. No, but keep going. This is the best part. She's got the giggles. Remember in school when you couldn't stop laughing? Yeah. Fire.

I love when you try to hold it together. If I was the man, we should get in here. There you go. She tries. Give her a second. Hold it together. You got this. You got this.

Come on. That's hilarious. They don't show it. No, they can't show it. But this was years ago. I don't even know what it was. It was on this reality show, obviously. Yeah.

From there. But that would be you. And you know what? The next one I sent you, this would be the next version of this. A TikTok girl got her vibrator stuck in her butt. Look at that. Look at the x-ray. Wow.

That's you, by the way. Do you know how much stuff I would stick in your butt? What do you mean? I would not let it. I would put it so far up it couldn't come back out. Dude, I'm going to say something right now. It's not a fucking warehouse. Yes, it is.

That's an Amazon warehouse down there. My butthole is so tight. Yes, dude. My poop looks like angel hair pasta. Yeah, it's so fucking tight. You said it was loose. Yeah, it's loose. Okay, it's...

Angel hair pasta. Mine's ravioli. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Listen, all butthole in the entrance is very, very tight. Yeah. When you get deep, it becomes... There's more space. It widens out.

It widens out a bit. It's like a little vase, right? So, but initially to get it into the doorway, you're not going to be able to get a bunch of stuff in the doorway. Unless you open the doorway. That's right. You can do some carpentry work. Right, right.

And then there's blood. A little massaging. Yeah, there's... Oh, you think massaging is the only thing? I'm going to massage it right open. So, it starts like this and then... No, I feel like there's scissors. Oh, I've got to...

Yeah, like click, click, click, click. And I'm like, dude, that hurts. Yeah, well... And then my butt looks like Joker's mouth. Why so why? Yeah, this girl got a vibrator stuck in her tush. What a bummer. What a bummer.

I tell a joke about this on stage. Yeah, when we were in Austin, like someone approached Bobby with an X-ray, like looked exactly like this. Someone... Wait, really? Yeah. I don't remember this.

But what was the X-ray of again? Of a flashlight. Oh, a guy had a flashlight up his ass. Oh, that's why you gave me the X-ray. What was someone looking for up there? Oh, so why show me? Well... I'm not a doctor.

But did you think it was cool to see? It was a cool thing to see, obviously. But why show me? You don't have to be in the medical field to appreciate. I mean, she was a girl, like, working at the A.R. And Bobby asked, oh, have you seen any weird stuff? So then she got...

You asked. Oh, I did ask. Yeah, yeah. Sorry about that. I did ask. That's an easy fix. Jules, never put anything in your butthole. I won't.

I know. Never? Not even penis? I won't. Not even penis. Your face looks like... I don't want that. It's scary.

But you already have, huh? No! No. That's the face of someone you don't know. No. Don't ever put anything in your butthole. Because once you do it once... Yeah.

...you want to do it again and again. And again and again. It never stops. Yeah. You tried? Huh? You tried? Please.

Come on. You see this thing? I'm a Fiji man, buddy. This goes right up. This goes right up there. Honestly, I don't think anything has been up there. No chance. No, I can't.

I'm so scared. I'm so scared of putting anything on my side of my foot. For a joke, I put candy bars. You put a candy bar in your butt? Well, I always should have put a Twix in my butthole. The left one or the right one? What do you mean? Twix joke.

You know what I mean? That's very funny. Did you put two Twix? No, just one. The left one. Is Twix? Twix is... I got unfollows.

What do you mean you got unfollows? No, the only transplant. Wait, why would people unfollow because of that? Because I have some fans that follow me because I'm on certain things that they like me on, but then it's like they have Christian foundations. I think this is a very followable photo. No. Whenever I put something provocative on, I lose about a thousand fans.

Really? Yeah. What's wrong with that? A thousand. Maybe two or two fifty people start unfollowing. Do you actually have a lot of Christian fans? I have some, yeah. Well, Koreans aren't really...

I didn't know this till I did that show Beef with Them, that so many Koreans are bombarded by the church. Oh, yeah, yeah. I didn't know. It's the number one religion in Korea, Christianity. Can you sing any Christian song? Do you remember any songs from when you were a kid? Yeah.

Which one is that? Jesus, I love me, yes, I know, for the Bible, tell me so. I feel like you're doing this. I feel like that's what you're doing. I'm doing the exact same rhythm you were doing. No, I know. You sped it up. No, I didn't.

You made it racist. How? Do your song again. Right. Do your song. Love me, yes, I know, for the Bible, tell me so. Right, and that rhythm is... Yes, go.

Da-na-na-na-nan-dan-dan-dan-dan. That is right. Da-na-na-nan-dan-dan-dan-dan. That's right, what it is. And there's a gong at the end. Gong is... Jesus. Yeah, no.

The amount of Koreans in church, it was wild. We did a scene in a church, and all of these guys, we're talking about. But the Mooneys, you know about the Mooneys, right? I don't. You know about the Mooneys. I swear to God, I don't know what that is. Look at the fucking guy.

Sit down. Oh, speaking of church going weirdos. Yeah, yeah, fucking weird, this guy. Ladies and gentlemen, put on the headphones. Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to present to you our guest segment right now. He looks like if Oscar Isaac was super sick. I'll take it, man, I'll take it. Oscar, you have hip.

What happened? Yeah. Ladies and gentlemen, we'd like to introduce our guest segment that we're bringing in some of our friends sometimes. He's only going to stay for as long as we can put up with him. He is one of the funniest, most talented dudes I've ever met in my life. He's my oldest friend in comedy. We literally met how many years ago now?

So many. 15. Wait, wait. 14. I think, I think Santino. Yeah, we started open mics together. Let me ask you this. Yeah.

Who's helped you more? You. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. In what way? Early on. Bobby would take me on the road. He was like the first guy to take me on the road.

What did he pay you? That's not important. No, see, that is very important. Why is that important? Because my friendship and my love has been more than the money that you've given him for sure. It's not about money. It's about, it's about helping him live his dream.

Did you get any opportunities from him taking you on the road? Yeah, I got to like headline some clubs after I featured for him occasionally. Thank you. Yeah. I got to go to the bedrooms. For love. For like 80 bucks. Hey, see, you're being negative and mean.

All right. Let's, let's reel it back. Let's reel it back. That's really nice that you, that he helped you out a lot. Yeah. But I'm also an older friend. That is true. I've known him longer.

Yeah. Let me ask you this, so. Ladies and gentlemen, it's Fahim Anwar. Let's give him a round of applause. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for having me. Yeah.

Fahim, by the way, has a special coming out. He's putting out a special. It comes out. May 27th. May 27th. On my YouTube channel. Putting it out is very hard to get. That's where the hottest specials are coming out nowadays.

Yeah. It's coming. So it's already been out. So it's already out right now on YouTube. It's blowing up, right? We already know it is. It's fucking huge. 48 million views the first hour.

Yeah. I heard it's more than a Gangnam style, which was surprising to me. For a special like normally, you know what? K-pop. It's doing K-pop numbers. You know what? He said Gangnam style. That was racist.

That was very racist. No, I don't even see color. Yeah. Stop, right? How dare you come into my fucking house and say Gangnam style. Right? It's like if you came in here, I said, here's some sand. But you do that all the time.

You do. And I say thank you. Do I really? I say thank you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Your wedding, can we throw sand instead of rice? That's what we do. That's like, you're making fun, but that is tradition.

We throw sand. It's funny that you're racist towards him and because you think he's from the Middle East. He's fucking Italian. Yeah, I'm Italian, dude. This kid's from Northern Italy. No. He's from Afghanistan.

No, he's not. Well, first of all, he's from Seattle. But the origins of him. His dad is Italian. His dad was a chef. Tell him about your father. Chef Boyardee? Boyardee, yeah.

Faheem, did you know Rudy? Have you guys met? I only know of Rudy. Hello. Hi. Big fan. Big fan, too. She was at the comedy store.

Big fan, too? Yeah. Yeah. Because my thing on doing Gangnam style numbers, right? Have you seen his special on Netflix? I mean on... How dare you, man? CISO.

Sorry. On CISO? Nobody saw... CISO didn't even see the special on CISO. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Faheem has put out a special. It's out right now for the fans. Check it out.

Be honest, Bobby. One of the funniest comics you know. I'm dead serious. Here's what I want to say about Faheem Anwar. Number one, he's probably the best joke writer out there. He's always doing new shit, clever shit. I don't like following him because it's like, I just feel like my shit's so old compared to his.

It's so relevant. It's so edgy, too, and just crisp. I think you're the nicest guy, too. Very talented, good actor, good writer. You're all around a super, super talented guy. I couldn't even look at your eyes when I gave you the comment. No, that's so in this way. You were Fox News' number one brown comedian this year.

Tucker Carlson named me a starter watch, which I thought was like... Are you being real? No. Why would I want that mode of confidence? Are you on this show? What do you mean? What are you talking? Of course it's not real.

You think Tucker Carlson likes this guy? Like it's variety top 10. Yeah. These are my comics to watch. Let me tell you the comics you need to see. Here's a brown piece of shit that I've had a little time for. Whoa. Any places good for that?

Well, he wouldn't be nice about it. That's true. There's no way. Yeah. No, Faheem Special is called Pro Life because it's relevant to what's going on right now. Is it called Pro Life? Because it's through Tucker's YouTube vertical. I didn't want to call it that, but he was pretty adamant about that.

He was like, this or bust? Yeah. Yeah, I need this heat. And Faheem, for people that want to know how... Because here's the thing about Americans. They'll look at this guy and they go, all right, do I really want to listen to this brownie? Right. And I'll say this.

Yeah. I know nobody... And I mean nobody in our friendship circle that is more of an American, gun-totin, rootin, tootin, freedom fighter, ex-veteran than this guy. Yeah. He is definitely some of those things. Yes. Yeah, yeah.

I'm not an ex-veteran. I got to squash that right off the top. I don't want to do stolen valor. Yeah, I don't want to do stolen valor. Let me say something, because the things that we were talking about earlier, he would be feel very uncomfortable with. So I think we should revisit those things. The only fans?

Yes. What would you think about me and Bobby starting an OnlyFans? It'd be a great move. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Told you. But, like, would you be cameraman? No, I have too many things going on. Like, I don't need to do that.

You're busy. Yeah, but the amount of money we're going to charge, we're charging $8 million. Because we're going to butt-fuck. Well, well, well, well. I'm going to butt-fuck him. Yeah. He's never going to get on. He's never going to get on.

I'm the Buffet G. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. And if he said, we'll give you a million dollars every time, we'll take this off. That's kind of what it's going to look like. That's kind of what it's going to look like. So I'll give you a... When were these taken and where were they taken?

About 20 minutes ago. About 20 minutes ago in the front room. Can I tell you something that's crazy about this photo? Well, honestly, your ball sack looks like a pussy from the back. Rudy's nodding. Doesn't it look like a pussy from the back? It's like a fat pussy. Bro, that looks like a fat fucking pussy.

You got a fat jujito back there, baby. Dude, just swear to God that does. It looks kind of hot. I'm not going to lie. Your balls... I hate my ass. What's wrong with your ass? It's so flat.

Well, you don't... You look fine. It looks fine. I want to get the Brazilian thing done. The butt lift. The butt lift. Yeah, yeah. And you have to be in a wheelchair when you're at the gate.

Have you seen it? You have to be in a wheelchair when you're at the gate. Yeah. By the way, this is going to come back to haunt us for sure. Yeah, I think it will. Yeah, we just threw this on the internet, like morons. Yeah. Like, there's no way that's not going to fucking ruin our career at some point.

So you wouldn't be cameraman if we give you a million dollars every time you shoot us. Yeah. A million bucks? Yeah, I don't need it. I don't need the money that bad. Wow. The special is doing very well. You know, here's the thing about him, what I love about him.

Yeah. He has principles. He does. Yeah. So back when he was young... All right, back when I was on Matt TV, right? This kid was working at Boeing. Yeah.

Right? And he only wanted to do his comedy and television. So I walked up to him and I go, listen, I have a sketch on Matt TV that Nate Dave Navarro's on. And I just need you to be in the sketch. He goes, what is it? I told him what it was. He goes, nah. Yeah.

He has principles. That's always been Faheem's move. Yeah. I like that about him. I just like doing things that I like, you know. Right. Babble. Language for life.

You better believe it. I'm taking my babble language lessons. I'm finally doing it. I'm going to Italy and I'm trying to learn some Italiano. Tell me something you've learned through babble. Ciao. I love it. Ciao bella.

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provided on your loan application. Go to upstart.com slash badfriends. Bad friends. Seem just got back from a corporate gig literally an hour ago. I was in Colorado today. Denver. Let's do Keystone. So you did a corporate gig before this one because I know you.

Oh, my God. Yeah. And you talked about it. We talked about it. In San Diego. No, it was in Calabasas. In Calabasas. It was probably the worst gig I've ever done.

And he bombed so bad. It's so hard. He did. No, I did. I did. Silence. Everyone didn't do great, but I think I took the cake, that show. You bombed?

Oh, yeah. Because it was a corporate. And sometimes corporates, it's not set up like a comedy club. They like try to see you at a comedy club. Yeah. And they're like, oh, I want to do this for my corporate retreat. And they try to build a comedy club and a hotel ballroom. And it's fucking weird.

And it's sad. Yes. Because there's like all these tables and then the room is way too cavernous. You know, there's way too much space. Yeah. And it's weird. You're in a fucking Marriott. Yeah.

It feels so weird. And also they'll be like, we're chill. Like anything goes. Just let it rip. But you made a point that if any place has an HR department. That that's not going to go well. Of course not. I just did Chris Spencer's wife's show for her teachers at a school.

Oh, and backstage. I'm like, should I go on? Who would hire you for that? Chris Spencer. Just do your thing. Fucking idiot. I go, yeah, but I say so many crazy things. He's like, they're into it.

No, they're not. And and Moz went up before me. You know how likable and PCA is, right? I walked up there and the first thing that came out, it was silence. It was dead. Yeah. And then all of a sudden I could feel this one sweat dripping down my face. You're right.

Oh, I've been there. And I knew I was in for the worst 15 minutes. Oh, Bob. It was terrible. I went too dark too soon because I believe the guy when they're like, we're cool. Whatever. It's just like, let it rip. You know, don't pretend you're doing a corporate.

Just do your handicap on Nike. No, it's another one. But like they tensed up so much because if they say do whatever and they have a HR department, like if you're around these people eight hours Monday through Friday and you're not allowed to say certain things, you're not going to be able to turn that part of your brain off. Right. And be like, oh, now I can do that.

Yeah. And if people that do that get fired immediately at a Christmas party because they honk, you know, Karen's tits. And then someone's like, you honked for a mark. You know what you did last night? He's like, it's a Christmas party and he's fired on Monday. Yeah. Yeah.

Those things are a fucking nightmare. I did one one time and I ate such a fucking pile of dicks for 30 minutes at the Pacific Design Center. I almost didn't even want the money. And you're making like $600 a show at these colleges that your agents and your managers take 30 percent. It's a fucking nightmare. Yeah.

You could take a bus to fucking college town to college. It was the fucking worst. And I did that for fucking years. So look at you now, baby. God. You beat the system. Didn't you? No, I, but, but isn't there, I don't know this is not a copy, but isn't there a part

of you that's like, you know, some of the success. I feel like I earned it. No, you definitely earned it. Do you feel that? Well, you, yeah, you fucking. Do you feel it? Yeah. There's a lot of work.

Yeah. So much work. But it's mostly work that no one sees. That's the problem. It's no one sees that, you know. Well, it's all the grinding night in and night out, all the clubs, you know. Nobody sees that. So many people in this town want to go to parties, the birthday parties and go to some house party

and shit and try to like get ahead that way. Nobody just wants to go to the shitty bar show and work on their craft for several years until they get very good. But this town does reward people. I mean, I've never met someone who's fallen face first into such a great situation. And she's not even grateful. She doesn't give a fuck. Yeah.

This is the problem with the generation. Yeah. We had to work for it. She doesn't. She has more followers on Instagram than most of our friends. How many followers do you have on Instagram? Uh, less than Rudy probably. Yeah, how much do you have now?

Like 73,000. Yeah, she's got 100,000. 100,000. And she's done literally. How many 20 years has he's been doing it? Yeah. You've done nothing. And he has a craft and he's extremely good at it.

So good. But I can't do this. What is this? Look at how she's lounging. Oh, yeah. Yeah. You can't do nothing. She is the lounge expert.

Yeah. Actually, you know what? That is true. For him, can't do nothing. Yeah. That would drive you nuts. Yeah. You know, when some people like, there's people that work jobs just so they can retire.

That's the opposite of you would, that's, you know, when they say some people they retire and it's their, that's their dream. Some people retire and they die because they just don't know. Yeah. If I retire, I'll probably die. You, you're the same way. You love work. I just need to be doing it.

Yeah. You need to do something. Yeah. I can't imagine if they were like, you have throat cancer. Mr. Lee, you have throat cancer. God, I hope not. Holy fuck. Right.

And you can't talk ever again. Oh. And then what would you do? Just program your joke. Oh, yeah. Be one. Hey, guys. How's everyone doing?

Any birthdays? Anybody celebrating? It's got talent, right? Who couldn't talk, but he was a standup. Yeah. But all his jokes were in the thing. Did they crush? They did.

My point is that your dad could have fucking programmed it. No. No, that's special. Oh, you think he's writing it? Because does his facial expressions match up to the thing? No, it's like. Look at the size of the tits on this bitch in the front row. But he's not moving his lips.

Oh. Look at the size of the tits. No, there's no talking. It's all in the computer. I was trying to do that. But you're moving your fucking lips. Well, I'm not a fucking ventriloquist, Bob. Oh, is that what you're doing?

Yes. Oh, my bad. God. What are you doing? He's showing the video of it. Is this it? Lost Voice Guy. That guy.

Let's see this guy. Hello. My name is Lee. And for obvious reasons, I'm also known as the Lost Voice Guy. See his arms? His arms are part of the bit. And how long have you lost your voice? I just knew you were going to ask something that I hadn't thought about beforehand.

So pleased. He goes far. Oh, that's the thing with these shows. If you have some calamity or some hardship, we talked about that. You're going to go the furthest. Here's how you win on America's Got Talent. Get hit by something. A bus, a car.

Maybe three things. A sad story. Yeah. Or a kid or some sort of disability. If you have all three, you won the whole thing. You don't have to do anything. Cancer? Yes.

That's a huge one. Cancer, either you or someone you love. Right? Right? You have a disability. Yeah. And you came from a tough place. Yeah.

But if I win, you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to go to a rooftop, right? Douse myself, right? In what? With gasoline. Oh, good. I think that's implied with douse. Douse is in water.

Well, I get on a rooftop by putting on sunscreen. Two different guys. I'm going to light myself on fire, then jump off, break every bone in my body. I'm going to have a couple of guys put water on me, right? Right? And I'm going to show up, right? On America's Got Talent. And I'm going to go...

And I'm going to get the golden buzzer. I'm going to win the whole thing. Really? You think that's going to work? Yes. Can you imagine if they wheel in a guy immediately after you? Yeah. Who's like...

He's an Asian guy who also set on fire and fell off a roof. Yeah. But he's gay and then he wins just because he's gay. He beat you by one step. He brought me one thing. Yeah. Do you think backstage they see the minorities, like how deformed they are, and they're like, oh, that's going to be tough to beat?

Like, I just have no arms. This guy's burned and he has no legs. That guy's on fire right now. But then what I would do is I would add a lie and go, but I'm eight. Eight? Yeah, eight years old. Then they're like... Oh, and something's wrong with him.

That's the thing, right? Yeah. Kids, if you're a kid and you're okay, you're going to go far. Yeah. If you're a kid and disabled, you've won. Forget about it. Yeah. Give him the golden fucking buzzer.

I hate the story too. It's like, you know, like you get this in like American Idol where they'll go, yeah. So, yeah. Anyway, my best friend, my uncle, died two years ago. And I'll just go, oh, and I'm always like, woohoo! Sing! I don't like that they try to find the story. Too angry?

Two years is just so long. Right? It's like they try to come up with a story. Well, they're digging. They're probably... What story am I going to tell? What bad thing? Did anybody get hurt in your family?

Do you know anybody that has any tragedy? Yeah. They need to pull something out. They need to pull something out. What would be your trick card? My trick card, what? To go far? Yeah, like what would...

You'd have to use something. Yeah. From your own life, what would be your story? You're a good looking guy. I would say like my village got bombed. Like I'm not even from it. So we're judges. We're judges, right?

Yeah. This is called Los Angeles Got Something. LA Got Something. Yeah, LA Got Something, right? And we're both judges. My name is Simon Chao and you're Simon. No. If you're Simon Chao, I have to be, you know, Heidi Wong.

Heidi Wong. Simon Chao and Heidi Wong. We're both ages. Dude, you have accents. You better believe it. Hey, welcome to America. LA Got Something. Right?

Welcome to LA Got Something. This is I'm Simon Chao. I'm Heidi Wong. Yeah. Anyway, tell your story. What's your story? First of all, what's your talent? I like to sing.

Oh. Another singer. Another singer. Another singer. Big deal. Big deal. Yeah. So what?

What? So tell me about yourself. I'm from Afghanistan. Oh. Bad place. Really bad place. Big girl. Puppy seeds that make heroin.

That's what I did for. I would do that. Oh, you were. I would make it. Slays. Slays. Oh, no. But I sing to pastime.

Oh, OK. That story is not still not. You're doing nothing. No, but then a missile hit me one day. A missile hit me. A missile hit you. My brother. I about to hit my brother.

And I tried to deflect, but he blow up. And he not here anymore. And Nick Cannon is like, oh, missile hit this motherfucker. In the puppy seed field. Losing his mind. Interesting. So, you know, but I remember last year we had another guy from Afghanistan.

His missile hit him too. But he's my brother. Step on the IED. Other brother. Oh, so you have to know. I missed on the other one. IED. So no brother anymore.

I'm pretty sad. Not so sad. Not so sad. No. No. Then. Then. Yes.

Machete fly. Oh. The flying machete. Infamous flying machetes in Afghanistan. Missile hit. You know, junkyard and machete in junkyard. And. Oh.

Machete. Machete. Machete. Machete. Machete. And people. It's like my mother and how. No.

No mom. No mom. No mom. What that will happen if there was a machete. Okay, for us now. Sing. Sing. Sing.

I'm very nervous. Yeah, I'm gonna sing anyway. Yeah, here we go. It's probably not good. Come on, we love the stories. But then I'm only eight. Oh, eight. That's the Golden Bar.

That would be your freedom. That would be your freedom. Yeah, and you and you'd go far far far so far I'd be I have a residency in Vegas. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and they'd have like Photoshop pictures of my mother Everybody watch where you walk. Thank you. Good night. Yeah, but then what will I but then people would do research Yeah, they'd find out there. We go, you know, his mom's lives in Glendale Yeah, I mean by that time he's got the money No, I would have a PR team who would know how to spin that yeah wash it right Don't worry about it. What you could do is go to your mom and go. I think they're finding out So we're gonna have to go

But we'll cut you in half in a way right where you're still gonna be alive, but your legs are gonna be missing Yeah, so then when they come over and you go look Right, and she's gonna be like Right flying a shetty mom Yeah But at the end of the day you will already have banked all that Vegas cream that who gives a shit Yeah, who gives a shit would you ever do a residency in Vegas? No, I would well Yeah, not really cuz I like doing new stuff and you know like I want to work on new stuff

And when you're doing a residency you're just banging out the hits your whole life. Yeah, but I mean look At some point if you reach that point in your career when you just don't feel like Writing and touring a lot. I could see being in the latter half being like I'll do it a couple years in Vegas I always say Vegas is where you can see stars from yesteryear while sitting down Right. Yeah, I thought like I saw boys to men when I was there and I love boys to men I grew up with them, but everyone was just sitting down with like a giant big gulp. I know we went to go see Gwen Stefani Because we were going to Vegas little dicky played in Vegas like played a New Year's show a couple years ago

well, it's a four years ago now and We were like, oh, you know, we could go see Gwen Stefani before he does his show at like midnight I was like, she's right next door. That's great. I think she's amazing. I was like, I've never seen her we go Exact same thing. No one's even wooing. There wasn't even like a whoo. Yeah It was literally like it was a quiet theater people sat She would come out do the thing and then people do this It was so fucking weird it I I was blown away that all these young girls weren't like Getting excited excited. It was just it was like watching a movie

I bought tickets to a comedy show When I was dating Christine absolute fucking Lutley never in a million years. I know because I didn't know him at the time But she's Mexican and she grew up with George Lopez. Yeah, right? So I called my agents and I go Can you get me tickets? They're like Yeah So they got me second row, right, but I still had to pay some where was this at at some amphitheater somewhere down I don't know where I was sure in downtown where the state at Staples Center and whatever it is You took her to go see another comic is great, but this is what I almost walked up because this is what happened

So we're sitting there and I think I brought up to George at since then but we're just sitting there and I'm like Right and The lights turn off and then there's like smoke What the fuck there baby some dancing tap dancing shit going on here, right? Mm-hmm and he comes out To his back turn from the ground to the audience sick, right? And he stands there

For five minutes without turning around and that's how long the applause break was And I was like But I watched it he was very funny the show was good Well, I paid would you pay money for a comedy show? No, no I would just like use all my connections to be like, hey, can I get in I would use agency or hit you up say Hey, can you start you're in love with a new girl? Let's just say you're in love with a new girl She is a massive comedy fan, but a fan of a comedian who's nothing like you and you have no connection to this person

Yakova smirnoff. She's Russian right, but she's pro-Ukraine She pro-Ukraine, but she's Russian and you can't get to Yakova You can't get to Yakova because he doesn't have agents. He doesn't right and she goes So there's Yakova smirnoff. Here's the new girl. You're in love with and she's like for him. I want to see him so bad I miss Russia Why won't you take me? Why won't you take me to see Yakova and you have to pay how much are tickets to Yakova? $3,000 VIP for him. What is VIP entail though? Like what he gets to yell at us in Russian for five minutes

And it's $3,000. We get yeah, 3,000 for VIP and that's for bulk tickets. He will sign my tits But I thought you're like me. No. Yeah, I want you to fuck my tits. I want him to sign my tits. I Want you to fuck where he signs on my tits Still love me. Yeah, of course, but you need to take me to see Yakova. That was I will never give you blowchup again Would you do it? Would you do it? Let's say, yeah, you have to you have that. That's why I went to George That's why you went to George. Yeah, that's why I went to George because you had to do it Did you have to laugh the whole time too? Just like you know some parts where I'm like, oh, that was good

He's funny. He's funny. He's funny guy. Lopez is fine I went down to Arsenio YouTube rabbit hole because he was doing the new Arsenio stuff for Netflix during the festival Yeah, and then I saw George and old George Lopez like his premiere on Arsenio It was just crazy to watch a 30-year-old George Lopez. I know so on our senior. Just kill a while kill it and kill it on The couch afterwards to like yeah, that's one of those guys made their mark was killing on the couch Do you know who our senior hall is at all? No His audience used to get up and go Nice man, it was the height of what a nice it was the height of like cool masculinity. You ever see coming to America television

Yeah, okay She doesn't do much. It's what we've learned She's just here to make you guys feel so old. She genuinely does but here's the other thing She's not even in tune with her generation. That's the weirdest part. She makes us feel old because she's She's just I'm gonna argue again. I want to I want to be a lawyer here Okay, okay, what I found about the younger generation because I was at we spa last night And there was one guy out of eight young 19-year-old Asian dudes They followed me in the jade sauna you get followed in all the rooms. All right

So I'm in the jade sauna and these nine dudes just sit around and I go to the jade sauna at the we spa because no one ever Goes in there. So they just call sat around me and one guy goes your Bobby Lee, right? And I go yeah, yeah, and the rest of it guys like why the fuck are we doing in here, man? Who the fuck is this guy? Oh, that's nice of them. Yeah, my point is is that Everyone he watches Podcasting but everyone has so many options. Yeah to watch right that it's like she has so many options We didn't have that growing up when we grew up. We had fourth channels that we could watch Yeah, and there's six shows that we had, you know, I mean, so that's why we know who

Gary Coleman is if you did one show everybody knew you yeah now you'd have to do about 10 shows And then a few people might start to get to know who you like the tonight show would have changed One appearance would have changed your life. You would have gone from no money to a millionaire Yeah, by doing Johnny Carson real talk This is bigger for me than doing like a late-night. You're my friends and shit But it's this is bigger for me than doing stand-up on the late-night show Alphabrain from on it You know those times when you're so into what you're doing that you can't think about anything else Andrew

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That's exactly right at the same time it supports a neurotransmitters chemicals that relay information from the brain if coffee and energy drinks Make you jittery you can rest easy knowing that Alphabrain is caffeine free But for any reason you don't like Alphabrain you can get your money back Just give us two weeks if at that point you don't feel like Alphabrain is a fit for you Just tell us why we'll refund your money on the spot. No return necessary So save 10% off on your order by going to on it comm slash bad friends That is on it comm slash bad friends. You're my friends. This show is huge like the specials coming out Like what better place to do it than here, you know people need to what is the special call?

By the way, it's called hat-trick. So I did all three rooms. I watched the comedy store You bring me up in the original room. I do 15 minutes in my butthole for you. Oh shit, man I don't need you to do that, but I appreciate it Will it be left wicks? I said twix's That's what we said as we said earlier. Yeah, I bounce around all the room So then finish in the belly and it's yeah, you did you did our main belly Yeah, but here's the best part that I think people need to know about the special because I'm being genuine He sent it to me. I watched it and I called him on the car ride home when I was driving back from see me fucking Valley

The most beautiful thing is It's hard to encapsulate what it's like to go live to the comedy store It's almost it's almost impossible to capture that on film Because everything has to be like shot and overshot and filmed and taken from different angles and his was done so Organically it felt like a night at the club because it was a fucking night at the club. Oh, I directed it right like so There's only one camera going at the same time so you don't get shots of the audience or whatnot It's not a lot of reaction shots of the crowd, but like you know, there's multiple angles and stuff Yeah, but so you see me from different angles you see back of heads

It just feels like I wanted to ultimate fly on the wall experience at the comedy store amazing every special There's like neons and shit. It doesn't even look like the place that we perform at every night, right? I just wanted to like not put lipstick on the pig. Just fucking show the place and you can't even eat pig Which is kind of ironic this whole thing It's good I gotta get some more religion man No, but it is it's incredible, but it looks like a fucking night at our home amazing Yeah, you get a lot of backstuff state stuff like you Yeah, just talking in the hallway outside of the parking lot green room. Yeah walking through the bar to get upstairs

It's really really magical place. Let's rank the clubs in LA the three No, why don't I want to try to make enemies? I don't want to make enemies I just want to tell you what what your number one places. Well the company store for everybody in this room This is our home. So the comedy store number one number two flappers I've never really been I did a J I did a JFL showcase there once and then they asked what I come back and I said, yeah I just I never have gone. I have no beef with any of those other places. I just don't go. Yeah, it's almost like I'm sure that like there's restaurants that people are like you have you never eaten there and you're like I see it I just never stopped by I know it's there, but I know what Bobby's ranking is

I want to feel like a piece of shit by saying this right now. I do it Because I want to talk about flappers. Go ahead. Okay. So the woman that runs it nice lady Barbara Yeah, I don't know. So Barbara when she was opening it, right? She calls me she goes, I'm opening a comedy club. I cool. She goes I go, whoa What weekends can I play? She's like, oh, no, you're not a weekend guy. You're a Tuesday Wednesday guy, right? And I go, well, who's your weekend guys? She goes names me a couple comics that I know that doesn't even remotely draw the way I do. Yeah bar from a gopher So yeah, yeah, and I go no and then I

Saw her at the improv Maybe a month ago and she's there hanging out and she's in the green room. I'm upstairs. Mm-hmm And she basically goes, how come you don't play my club? And I I didn't know how to say because I'm a Tuesday Wednesday guy. Oh my god You say that there or do you just hold it in and turn it make it turn into a cancer later So a guy like me goes, you know, I just I just don't do it But a guy like you. Yeah, a guy like you. Yeah badly Wants to use it because you love vindictive shit. You love payback. It's one of your favorite things, but I didn't I go, okay

I know, but I'm surprised because you want too bad deep down. There is a part of that goes Yeah, I'm busy on Tuesday Wednesday nights. I go to my meet a meeting that's the cool way to do it Yeah, yeah, but I didn't do that. I because I'm trying to change my ways Well, I told you I'm trying to be a better person late ladies and gentlemen We just want to say thank you to Faheem. Thank you because he has a great special that's out right now on YouTube It is called did I sign a waiver? No, it's called the hat trick. Please watch the hat trick on YouTube right now. It would mean a lot to us Yeah, just youtube.com slash Faheem and work, please tell the fans to fucking watch

I love you Faheem I'll talk to you later. Thank you. We love you. Give him some love God bless. You're the best. I'll call you later. Well tonight your store All right, I'll see you there. I'll call you later, buddy. Now that Faheem is gone What do you what do you think of him because now we can talk shit now because I know that that's your favorite thing to do Yeah, I don't talk shit, but See negative things we like negative so that we can work through it Well, we're being positive for the next month. We said we'd be positive. We want you to be the negative one on the show

His nose is very Jewish So you don't think he's Muslim Yeah, oh you want to say that in front of him. Yeah, no, do you should have that would have been so funny so funny But you know now he's gonna hear and see this after the fact, but that's okay You don't mean anything mean by yeah, right, but that's your only impression. You're just we're looking at his nose the whole time Yeah, cuz so some girls think he's sexy. Do you think he's sexy? Yeah, he's cute in what way Like Aladdin how Aladdin was cute. He doesn't even look brown. What does he look white?

No, see this is the problem. She hates whites. He's too light. He's too light brown for her Yeah, right you want a darker brown. Yeah. Yeah, she likes darker brown. You like darker brown He's a little too light-skinned Muslim to too light. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What do you think of the religion? I love Muslims, but what do you think of the religion? Are you setting her up? It's what do you know about it? What do you know about it? They don't you pork what are they're what's our God called? Allah, that's all that's all I know praise Allah. What's the book called? There it is you hurt almost Um

I don't know karaoke karaoke the book of karaoke. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Koran Koran, yeah And what else do they believe as a woman? What else do they believe for women women should walk? women should Wear all those coverings because and they should walk behind the man and Speak when they're spoken to and serve the man and serve the man. How do you feel about that? I don't want I don't like that. I know I'm trying to be a Muslim out here Why don't you like it don't muslim and they can marry a lot of women?

First of all, this doesn't apply to all Branches of it. We're generalizing we know almost nothing about it. I don't even know what I All I know is this this is all I fucking why would you want to marry more than one fucking woman? That would be a had a had a nightmare How many like when I see those polygamous fucking that show that's on like TLC or whatever that guy that has like six wives Why the fuck would you want that many fucking what that's insane sister wives this fucking psycho? And by the way, bring up the image of these people Oh, I don't know. I don't know. What do they look like? Just click on the photo

Zoom in zoom in and let me say something mean. It's like they photoshop the same face on everybody. It's him. It's yeah Yeah, yeah, it's him as different. Yeah, they're all the same person That's him as different women. Yeah. Yeah Like which one would you fuck you got four swings and you struck out of them Which one would you spend the most with the guy the girl in the far right? Oh? Yeah, the girl in the far right. Yeah, what's the guy at though? I don't know I don't know if there is a guy at this point. Oh, they just they should just show the wives in that photo What do you mean?

That's the guy you did get but like The emperors back in the day like in China, right? Yeah used to have like 200 concubines. No, that's different though Why those are just women they got to sleep with you, but you know these guys have to live in a house and still you know those concubines How come you didn't you know, I wrote you a letter. How come you didn't write me back? I mean, you know everybody so busy. I know but you know tic-tic You spend three days with tic-tic and dong dong right, but me you ever see me at three more your tits are weird That's the fucking thing on this show. I've seen it before they talk on the show about he spends more time with other women And they all get jealous. What do you fucking expect? What do you think is going on? Yeah, of course

He's gonna pick and choose who's got this tight as to what you I would get the front the brunette For me the brunette if I had to pick the brunette not enough for me, which one back right cuz she looks like she can Suck a golf ball through a garden home. Yeah, that the back right Yeah, no Be beyond the idea that I don't want to fucking make these real humans feel bad I just think it's not my fucking I don't give a fuck you can go do whatever you want do be happy with as many people as you Want what's that photo? That's all the kids they have the wait wait wait wait their kids have kids wait wait wait wait, but they have to fuck each other

He has kids with all the women's not true. Yes kids. I think with every woman. I think I don't know Oh, that headache. Yeah balancing that I forget all first of all remembering their names is no also imagining him doing a five-way divorce The alimony well insane. Yeah insane. You're broke. You're homeless. I mean, how do you remember all these kids name? That was always impressive to me. I I I'm one of two kids and I was an only child for a while before my sister. Yeah, my mom forgot my name all the all the time There's a system that you can do it. I think what is it? What is it? So what I would do is if one of the women's name is Angie, uh-huh. I can memorize the five women's names, right? So their kids would all start with an A and M right correct, right? Right Angie

And Joe Andrew would have been an easier one One of them, but and Joe would be what and Joe my brother and Joe is the oldest red and Jai Angie Angie's my wife. Yeah, but she could have an Angie Angie the woman what daughter Angie junior the woman right so it's and Joe Yeah, and Jai right Angelica Angelica and Jolo Angel Angel would be a good one And then if my other wife was named is uh, Briannica be all be ours Bianca Bianca Bianca even harder be I way hard. Let's go. Let's try Bianca though. Okay. Go for it B. B

One of those names be be a yeah. Yeah, what would be be be? The other one would be be be no hard that is be be be be. Yeah, I wouldn't do three bees Be be be be come over here. Well, yeah, be be comes over. I said three bees listen Fucking idiot listen when I'm calling you and your sister. Yeah, I think I there's To be able to remember all of those kids and be in line with whose whose kid would went with which woman that would fuck you That would fuck me up, too. They look they all look the same. No, but this is what you do. He fucked up He fucked it up. You you marry different races Yeah, he got all whites, which is one black girl. Yep. So I know you know what I mean one black one asian one

Black you would have a mexican one black mexican I'm being asian. I couldn't do an asian. I could do an asian one if I'm full asian you should have a white I definitely have a white. Yeah, those are my good-looking ones Well, you have to get loaned to these houses somehow. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All right. So who's so you have a black one asian an asian one I would probably have a mexican one a mexican But that's so close to asian I think my kids would kind of look asian or no no no if it's if it's mexican mexican indigenous indigenous indigenous mexican. Yeah, and then and then native american

That's same as indigenous. No, mexican native american look very different. We're indigenous native. You're saying indigenous people of Mexico Indigenous people in Mexico and native americans are too similar I would go south asian. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, right What? Yeah, I'm not south asian. You're not it. You're not asian at all as far as I'm concerned You know what? I would I would marry two whites. I would marry an american white, but check this out in my thinking. Okay A russian white because my kids will have knives. Oh, yes, right? Yes, because they like I saw eastern promises

Where are that? What's that movie eastern promises? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah the fucking steam room. Yeah, so those kids are good at violence Yeah, and if one of my kids is playing with a bear outside. I go. Yeah, that's my russian one. Yes. Yeah. Yeah That's look at there's a never go to a steam room with a russian. No. Yeah Yeah, no let him go and let him come out and then you get in and lock the door. Yeah. Yeah lock yourself inside the steam room What would you have? All whites No, no No, you know what I would do well with me it would look with the red hair thing would stand out with anybody

If I had a black wife, but we had a black kid with red hair because you know, have you seen this? There's black kids with red hair. Yeah, like my I have a buddy who's black with freckles. That is a lot of freckles Don't like it. Fuck you. You know what your kids would all look like sin bad One of the coolest guys of all time. She has no idea who that is. Yeah Show me sin bad sin bad the comedian. He's the fucking man a successful awesome comedian. I'll take that. I thought the lion Yeah, so these are all that's my Andrew's kids. Yeah with a black woman Go to the one with the mohawk a little bit. Yeah, that's me back in the 80s though sin bad in the 80s You think what with a lion? What did you say? Sin bad? Oh, Simba. Oh, Simba

It just gets harder and harder with you Yeah, know what you're talking about before you say it look up Antonio Cremarty and type in Antonio Cremarty kids There's a video There's a video of him naming his kids Oh, oh that one right there the second one down. Look at this. He's trying to remember his kid's names and listen that this how many kids Is he up? So Let this go through this ad and then pause it But here's the deal

This is when having too many kids with too many people goes awry When you can't even remember ages and names. Okay, so look at how watch this. This is nuts I never hold on. We feel you have to turn, you know all the aggression on but as soon as you leave and get home You got to be that father figure, you know that that husband Alonzo who was five I have Karris who was three I have My my junior was just three I have a my daughter who just turned three as of yesterday three threes

I have another son named Tyler That's what he turns three in december I got another Daughter that was born october 16th named london. That's my birthday another daughter. I was born named leilani who was uh two years old and uh I have my newborn with my wife I mean think about how that how stressful that is remember just remembering all the kids that's more stressful to me than having all the women I don't remember any of the fucking kids names of their birthdays. How do you how would you know?

He named all of them except that one girl and you know that one girl's gonna see that video And that's gonna sit with her for the rest of her life. Yeah, it stinks. It stinks. But you know what what does it say? They don't know how to pull out Thank you for being a bad friend Hi, my name is tuko. Please subscribe to our only fans You