Bad Friends - Prunes Are God's Ozempic w/ Dave Attell & Louis Katz

Episode Date: April 8, 2024

Watch our Austin special live event with The Basement Yard https://www.patreon.com/badfriends/shop Thank you to our Sponsors: Shopify, Factor & ZocDoc • Shopify: Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at https://www.shopify.com/badfriends • Factor: Get 50% off at https://factormeals.com/badfriends50 with promo code BADFRIENDS50 • ZocDoc: Find and book top rated doctors at https://www.zocdoc.com/badfriends YouTube Subscribe: http://bit.ly/BadFriendsYouTube Merch: http://badfriendsmerch.com Watch Dave Attell's Netflix Special "Hot Cross Buns" https://www.netflix.com/title/81728938 Watch Louis Katz's Special "The Best Comedian You've Never Heard Of" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=01FUQkgPs3E 0:00 Special Announcement 1:43 Bobby Wants a Jewish Girl 8:50 Bobby Was Cut Out of a Dave Attell's Sitcom 14:52 Comedy is For Losers 22:18 Dave Attell Loves Fancy 37:49 Bobby Is Smoking Again 41:38 Dave Attell's Prunes 50:43 Bobby Has A Bone To Pick With Some Towns 1:01:42 Dave Attell's Exercise Routine 1:08:01 Bobby, The Action Here More Bobby Lee TigerBelly: https://www.youtube.com/tigerbelly Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bobbyleelive Twitter: https://twitter.com/bobbyleelive Tickets: https://bobbyleelive.com More Andrew Santino Whiskey Ginger: https://www.youtube.com/andrewsantinowhiskeyginger Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino Twitter: https://Twitter.com/cheetosantino Tickets: http://www.andrewsantino.com More Juicy Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jetskijohnson/?hl=en More Fancy SOS VHS: https://www.youtube.com/@SOSVHS Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/fancyb.1 More Bad Friends iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-friends/id1496265971 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/badfriendspod/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/badfriends_pod Official Website: http://badfriendspod.com/ Opening Credits and Branding: https://www.instagram.com/joseph_faria & https://www.instagram.com/jenna_sunday Credit Sequence Music: http://bit.ly/RocomMusic // https://www.instagram.com/rocom Character Design: https://www.instagram.com/jeffreymyles Bad Friends Mosaic Sign: https://www.instagram.com/tedmunzmosaicart Produced by: 7EQUIS https://www.7equis.net/ Podcast Producer: Andrés Rosende This episode contains paid promotion. #bobbylee #andrewsantino #badfriends #sponsored #ads Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This NBA season, make every three-pointer alley-oop and buzzer-beater even more exciting with FanDuel. Download the app today to see why we're North America's number one sportsbook. 19-plus and physically located in Ontario. Gamling.com call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. and we did something for Patreon. Yeah, we did a little Austin show with our boys, the basement yard, and now you can watch it. I had to massage Bobby naked when I lost a bet on the show, and I couldn't get over how purple it was, dude. It's like Barney's dick. Top six, oh.

Okay, okay, okay. Hold him, get him, wait a minute, wait a minute. Give it up for the Bad Friends Band. Thank you guys very much. Appreciate you. It was an amazing live experience. It was beautiful and you should have been there. If you're a paid Patreon member, it's free. If you're not, you can still watch it by going to our Patreon shop.

The link will be on the screen. And remember, paid members will get anything we share there for free as part of their membership. So it's a great time to become a Bad Friend. That's right. Our Patreon shop is open to anyone, whether you're a member or not. And it's where we'll be able to sell any live shows, specials, et cetera, directly to you. We're going to be doing more Patreons. We're going to give bonus episodes on Patreon.

So sign up, baby. We have some good ones on the way. Hey, we're going to be at Abu Dhabi Comedy Week. And Abu Dhabi Comedy Week as part of Abu Dhabi Comedy Week. Bad friends are coming to Abu Dhabi for the first time. May 21st. That's right. Where are we playing?

The Etihad. Etihad. Arena. Yas Island. Yas Island, man. Book your tickets right now. Brought to you by Theory 11. Go to BadFriendsPod.com for the tickets.

BadFriendsPod.com. I'm doing a couple dates. I'm doing Tampa, Florida, Phoenix, Arizona, Nashville, Tennessee, Dallas, Texas, and San Francisco. Dallas and San Francisco shows have been added. Go to andresantino.com for those tickets. andresantino.com. You two are bad friends.

Who are these two idiots? Woo-hoo. White dude and Asian dude. Woo-hoo. You two are disgusting. Woo-hoo. Are you two or something? We're bad friends.

What do they call transition lenses? And that's very progressive. These aren't transition. They're going to stay this way the whole time. Oh wow. I have to change glasses. Takes all the cool out of sunglasses. When did you do the, when did you,

have you ever had the transition lenses? I had them for a while and then I was told they were not cool. Why are they not cool? I don't understand. I don't know, some girl told me that and I listened to her. Oh, you gotta listen to girls. Yeah. Yeah.

Are you married? I am married, yeah. I can't believe it. It's hard to believe. What a miracle. Yeah. Are you married? I'm married. Yeah, I can't believe it. It's hard to believe what a miracle Yeah, you know where you know where you had his wedding where downtown LA 4th of July the only way to go They fit right in with all the tents down there Got a good tent for the weekend Is she Jew or what she is not Jew? Okay. But thank you for asking. Not Jew?

Not Jew. Wow. Wow. It's a status symbol among my people. Not Jew is the step up. Okay. That's what you're supposed to say, not Jew. Yeah, not Jew.

Bobby is interested in dating a Jewish woman. Can you help him? Never had one. Acquire him, really? Never? Never one Jew. Wow. I think you could do that.

How? Do you though? I know how you do it. Yes. I'm Palestinian We do want to get him he's never dated a Jewish girl, and I said why why we're in Los Angeles like how not and he just What he says he can't land any Jewish girl. I've been hooking up with Arabs He's a big Arab fan. I love the Arabs. You like a little sideburn on your lady? Yeah, I mean they never used to like me.

But now with this new fame? Yeah. My options have opened. Well they have the same kind of mustache, shame on the Arab women. Yeah, but they have it down there, they have it down there. That's what we're looking for on the sheiks of sunset. You coming in. Season cliffhanger.

Yeah, you like giggling boys? Yes. I cliffhanger. Yeah, you like giggling boys? Yes. I love it too. These boys are our, did you meet? Did everybody meet? Yeah, we met earlier. Our nice production team of rag tag individuals.

Misfits. And Carlos is 97 days sober. I'm over 100 now. Oh, it's over 100 now. Oh, it's over 100 now. Hey, that's great, dude. Congrats. You guys are David Tell fans?

Yeah. Yeah. What was, let me an album. No, no, hold on. Give him the memories. Oh, that's a great album. I only have one. I know, I love it.

Staying for the memories is amazing. That's definitely great. That was a good test. Fancy doesn't know. Andres doesn't know. Is it in Spanish? Yeah. Do you have any stuff in Spanish for him?

Do I have a, I was gonna give him a comb. I mean, with the hair. How'd you get here, buddy? Paraglider? Huh? Yeah, I see, yeah, yeah, yeah, look at this guy. Si, senor. You really have a multicultural feel going on in here.

I love it. What do you mean? You're just looking at me and saying that. You're not paying anybody. Oh, okay. Can I say one thing, guys? Have we started yet or is this what you guys are doing? This is what we do.

Tailgate. No, we just kinda get going. You just kinda get going. Move it in. This is the podcast that I've been dying to do. I'm out here promoting and promoting, and I'm like, when do I get to sit with these guys? Yeah.

And now I am. And I'm sitting in the, this is awesome. I remember these in that movie, Wonka. I mean, that's what happens when you're bad and they put an oompa loompa in the chair. Give them a talk down. Because they can't get out of those. We actually got those, there was a estate sale.

We got those from Puff Daddy's house right here that they raided. Wow. Yeah, they put those on the lawn. I was gonna say after Pee Wee died, this is his, right out of the play. The reading of his will. So let's introduce.

Please do. May I? Please, I just said. All right, so the first time I met Dave was years ago. This guy named Ned, remember Ned? Ned. Carlos Mencia. Oh, okay.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know him by his super power name. I'm super, I don't know. And we did a tour, remember that tour we did? Uh-huh, that was a big deal for us. Yeah, yeah, back then Ned was like, I'm gonna get the biggest white dude, the biggest black dude, biggest Asian.

I was the only Asian he knew. Who was the biggest black dude? Who was it, DC, not DC Curry, was it DC Curry? I don't remember playing like that, but I remember it was like a big deal tour. It was like a theater tour, outdoor venues. Yeah, it was amazing. I think Alfie was on some of those.

Yeah, yeah. It was huge. It was huge, and it was the first big tour I've ever done in terms of theaters. Amphitheaters, outside. No, they weren't amphitheaters. Oh no. They were like 3,000, 2,500.

Yeah, I don't remember, I don't really, I remember bombing, that's all I remember. No, no, no, no, no. I did not do well, he would do the talk for me, like, you know, this guy coming out, I think he's funny, you should think he's funny. He's trying to like strong arm his crowd, you know? Yeah, it was like a Mexican crowd.

Oh really, yeah, it was a Mexican crowd. Pretty Mexican, yeah. So they loved you. I did okay, I was so green. Yeah, but you did good. Oh man. Even when you were green, you were still a little yellow, so you got through it.

Wow. You were laughing too. I know! You can't do the hard looking after you laughed at the girl. You're right, you're right, I laughed first, I laughed again. Yeah, you have to do the hard. Laugh again, laugh again.

Oh. That's how it was supposed to go down, yeah. He's like Kanye, he doesn go down. Yeah. But. He's like Kanye. He doesn't want to be caught laughing. Oh yeah. And then Louie, this is my history with them. Used to live in LA.

Yes. I'm from LA. Yeah. And we used to write together. Yes. Wait a minute. You mean Louie used to write and you were near him? Oh, he got you. You know what I knew? You mean Louie used to write and you were near him?

Oh, he got you. You know what I knew? Dude, when you squint your eyes and your face gets all red, I know you're about to dig. He's a phenomenal writer and I know Louie was just ripping through pages and he was sitting there smoking, like looking over your shoulder. Good stuff, Louie. Sorry, it's a story. It's still funny.

It's great. It's great stuff. Can I throw more stories in? Yeah, throw it in. What I always loved about you, Bobby, is like you would do a great set, they would love you, and then you'd come running off,

and then you would be like, I can't do an hour, alright? There's no reason why I should be up there for an hour. And I'm like, they could've watched you for like two hours, they were really having a great time. But it's like, I still do it. I still do it. I still do it. I just can't do it.

And I feel the same way, I feel the same way. I feel exactly the same way, I feel the same way. Yeah, yeah. I feel exactly the same way. I'm like, I want out. I want out of here. Yeah. Or you've gone through all your material and then you look at the clock and it's like 33 minutes.

I hate that. Oh, I hate it. I hate it. And like, I guess I'm gonna have to do improv. Yeah. I hate it. So, Louie used to write. Yeah, that's right.

He's probably one of the best joke writers I've ever had. I have a better story, dude. Remember we were on the sitcom together? Oh my god! This is crazy. I hate it! This is crazy. This is PTSD.

This is my favorite Bobby story. Go ahead. In the early aughts, this is, we were all, you were a regular on the sitcom too. I was on Mad TV. Okay, but no, no, this is not that. We were on a thing called Use Car Smell. Yeah, New Car Smell.

New Car Smell. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The guys who did it were really cool. They wanted comics on it. I fucked them. But there was also real. Fuck them. But they all, wait, hold on.

No, no, I wanna get into it. Okay, but hold on, it was you, me, and Jimmy Schubert. Yes. And I'm not an actor. Totally not an actor. And they kept giving me these long setups for the regular people to get the punchline. And I'm like, what the? I can't. I can't do.

I can't. You know, and I wanted to, like, red fox it and, like, write it on the walls and stuff. But anyway, yeah. I'm not even on the thing, right? Brooke Shields? No, see, I thought you were, like, a special guest or something. No, no, no. I was a real... Brooke Shields was in it.

The guy, the lead guy is, like, a great actor, and he was, like like rolling his eyes every time I open my mouth. What's his name over there, but he was like a really good actor Christopher McDonald Yes, yes was to be he's like he's like he's regular a plus Anyway, you and I hold on a second you and I and Jimmy we're all going into our scenes and then we'd be smoking outside Yeah, and every time I believe this was like on the warmup or whatever it is, the dry run through or something, we'd all run out and say the same thing. I can't act. I can't believe you're gonna fire me.

I'm getting my stuff now, because they're gonna fire me by lunch. I'm outta here. And I was like, when you said that, and then I felt like so much better. I was like, oh, great, I'm not the only non-actor here. But you were killing it, and then it went on, and then finally we were doing it in front of a crowd.

You know that? Like, in front of a crowd. you know that? Like it was in front of a crowd. And then the real actors, they were like stumbling on the lines, but we were rocking it because we were like totally whoring it up to the crowd like, I don't know. Whatever you say, JJ. You know, like we were totally sick of it. Then Mitch Hedberg died.

A lot happened in that week. It was a big week, I'm not kidding. Was that the week? That was the week. Oh my God. Wow. Look at, oh David Walton, there it is, new car smell. Yeah.

Put it up full screen, let me see what, this is the full pilot? Can you imagine, Bobby, if that went? Can you imagine we'd be retired now? I would've been fired. Look at Dave. No, no. Oh, there he is.

Look at that. Awesome. I will say, it's weird to not see you in all black. I love it. And that look is still really in you know mostly Middle East Somehow dressed up you look sleazier Well can I tell you my experience on that look Brooke shields by the way, so she's very cool. She was very cool

I hated her you know why I fucking hate her. I like her no Get out of your pocket. Oh wait. I have to leave Wait, what did you not like about her? What did you know? Am I ended out of that thing? You can't find look at me lurking in the back You're such a good lurker though, what's going on over there? Yeah, I had to go there because I was over acting so much They had to push me back Push me way back stand natural. You're standing in a weird way. That had to push me back. They had to push me way back. You can't even stand natural. You're standing in a weird way.

That's a Meisner I'm using. You can't find me in there, right? Well, you think they scrubbed you? That's you, right? Yeah, right. They cut me out. So Fox calls me and they go, there's a show called New Car Smell.

We want you in it. And I go, okay. And then they go, but the Cullen Brothers don't want you in it and I go okay, and then they go but the Cullen brothers Don't want you in it. What yeah. Oh that that was their names. Yeah, the color brother Yeah, right the Cohen brothers the cullin brother. Yeah So then they go um, but but they want getty wannanabe. Oh yeah. Long Duk Dong. Yeah, he's great.

He is, objectively, he's great. I would hire him over you. So you were the backup, basically. Right, so they forced me in. And Rob Cullen would pull me aside and go, listen man, you gotta learn how to act. He'd know he was. I swear to God. I can't believe that.

Am I in the pilot? They cut me out of it, Dave. I thought you did a great job. Oh, thank you so much. Honestly, I can't believe he would say that. That would ruin your confidence. It did. It sure did.

So he was basically psyching you out. Psyching me out. And then I had two pages of dialogue. It's not worth watching, even for Bobby Leafs fans. Ha ha ha ha. It's a terrible show. Should have never been made. It's a waste of time, money, and talent.

Yeah. Did you just put that in there? Yeah, he just wrote that. Wait, go back to the pilot and scrub through it this guy he's got to be in there I want to see the image of go back to the I'm not in it, dude But my point is is I had two pages of dialogue and by the pilot I had one line That's almost one line It's a restaurant scene Anyway, um and it was the worst human experience of my life

What did I run into Rob? I've seen Rob a couple of times since then I won't even look at him really yeah Yeah, you I fucked that guy what show business. What did Brooke Shields do to you that you're so negative about well because the show Owners didn't want me you could feel it. You know and so um I was at craft service and you know it's and I'm in my mind I'm like you know you're in Hollywood, I know you're a comic, but let's break in and let's mingle. Let's schmooze it. And then I was sitting by the nuts and stuff, and I go, good morning to Brooke,

and she didn't even. Wow. Wow. Like I wasn't even there. I gotta tell you, I'm probably taking a break. I think here, this is the scene. Yeah, well we don't see ya. No, before they start talking.

Before there's any dialogue. Is there a mannequin by any chance in there? Before they, okay. What was that, Dukes? That's you? Nice rack. Yeah, I was cut out of it. I was cut out of the pilot.

Wow. So is this this other guy that you mentioned, that guy is kind of your doppelganger, that's the person you're always up against no the long dog. What happened? Genni what an obby Was much older and at that time You know he had done a couple of movies. You know like like classics. He was famous though. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, he was like very very famous right so and I, right? So, and I was like the new kid

and Fox was trying to get the new kid in. I see. Well, cause you were cheaper, I'm sure. Oh, much cheaper. That's what it was. I'm serious. I bet you they were like, we can just get this cause I'm sure the pilot, you know, they overpay

like Brooke Shields probably got all the money. Well, they're the stars. They're the Gettins. And then I'm sure with him, they were like, let's just get Bobby Lee. How Asian can you look? Wow. Howdy.

I remember him. Howdy. The nerds. Yeah. That Asian can you look? Wow. Had I? This is it. I remember him. Had I? The nerds. Yeah. That was the grand. You need a movie like that. That was a different Asian. Oh, it was?

From Revenge of the Nerds, yeah. Oh, OK. Yeah, yeah. No, but, but, but, but. But do you think? I know what you're saying. Well, you're so good on that show, Showgun. I mean, you're more of a dramatic actor.

Anyway. Comics for losers. Drama is worth that. I'd love to see all the parts that you had to do. It must be so crazy. Yeah, I mean, there's some good experiences, and then there's just been nightmares. The best ones, not to make it all like an actor's workshop, but as a non-actor, when you work with other comics

and they just go like, just do what you do, that's the best you could ever do with guys like me. Yeah, yeah, me too, me too. That's the best, immediately they get it, they just want it funny, they can edit. You forget all these other things that get involved. So I'm always like, when I work with Amy or I was working with Michael Che,

they're all so good, Pete, there you know, like there are the comics, they get it, you know, it's like, just get to the funny, you know? Yeah, yeah. So that for me is cool. But I always thought you were a good actor. Oh, thanks. Yeah, definitely.

I'm getting like. I'm serious. Okay. You have a heart. Yeah, your old writing partner. I'm trying to get you to. Yeah. But the things I've been doing lately

are pretty much offers. And then when I show up, they they're like I'll just do you It's great. Yeah, so it's been it's been easier cuz you're a great actor. You're great. That's why they want you to do you You're a great actor. I feel there's something behind When you're a really good actor they just want you to do you You're a fucking asshole today, dude. Shut up. It's in your face, dude. Shut the fuck up. Oh, fuck you, dude.

I do like this pink shirt today, I do think it's cool. Oh, thanks, man. It's a rad shirt. Anyway, um. How did you do last night, by the way? Dave, were you at the store last night? What's that? Were you at the store last night?

I walked by, what are you getting at? I've been podcasting my little ass off. Did you not go, you didn't get up last night? I didn't go. Because we heard, I heard you were gonna come by, they had a special guest in the OR. I was like, what's up? I'm gonna go get some drinks. I'm gonna go get some drinks. I'm gonna go get some drinks. I'm gonna go get some drinks. I'm gonna go get some drinks. I'm gonna go get some drinks. What are you getting at? You know what I mean? I've been podcasting my little ass off.

Did you not go, you didn't get up last night. I didn't go. Because we heard, I heard you were gonna come by, they had a special guest in the OR, and I thought it was you. I know who it was. Who's Martin Lawrence. Again?

Oh, awesome. He did a half hour, he's doing a theater tour is what the rumor was, and he was working out for the theater tour, but what fucked up, he brought me on, this great moment, but what fucked up was, he's more quiet on stage now. So they turned up the mic, like really, really loud. And then he brought me on, and my first joke,

I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,

I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,

I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like and I did this and they were like How was his intro cuz they're you didn't miss not I will say this. Yeah, it was awesome I said Emily goes The manager said he's gonna bring you on he knows you are I told him about it And I thought if you I don't care if he fucks it. Yeah, he doesn't know me personally I said, it's fine, but he got it. It was written It was very nice because it was his road managers there and they rehearse it before it was really nice though Yeah, they were because he could have just been like next comic who knows he used to do this. I'm done Yeah, and then just walk off stage. Yeah, Natasha has a bit about him being rude to her when he brings her. Oh, really?

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's on one of her specials. I'm sure yeah. He was apparently very rude I don't know. It's always low energy now, huh? Well, he's just he's just I don't it's weird. He's just much quieter Yeah adult. I think this yeah, he's just, I don't know, it's weird to describe, he's just much quieter. Yeah, adult. I think there's something. Yeah, he's grown. You get older and like, you know, like we do two shows in one night and you can't remember like what you did in the first show.

I mean, sometimes like when I'm coming off like a hard, like just like, you know, no, no booze, no, no, no nothing anymore. It's just being tired and old. And you're like always messing up the MC's name, you know, that kind of thing. All right. I've called him a million different names

when we're on shows together, you know. Thanks, Reggie. You know, it's like, that MC's name, you know, that kind of thing. All right. I've called him a million different names when we're on shows together, you know. Thanks, Reggie. You know, it's like, yeah, it's not even close. Are you sober now for completely? Oh, for years, for years. For how long? So long. Since that new core smell.

Wake up call. You don't smoke weed or anything? No, I know weed is like a vitamin out here, but I don't do it. Oh, wow. Are you 12? I missed out on the whole weed evolution too. Are you a 12 step guy or no? No but I don't do it. Oh, wow. I kind of missed out on the whole weed evolution, too. Are you a 12-step guy or no? No, I don't do it.

You just do it, just cold turkey. Yep. That's amazing. Cold turkey. Shopify. When we started podcasting, an online store was the furthest thing from our minds. That's right. Now we're selling.

So many things. Shirts. Shirt. Buckets. Not buckets, but like cups. Not buckets. Well, these are coffee buckets. Yeah, so.irts. Buckets. Mugs. Not buckets, but like cups. Not buckets. Well, these are coffee buckets.

Yeah, so. This should be called a coffee bucket. It's easy, all because we use Shopify. That's exactly right. Shopify is incredible. It's the global commerce platform that helps you sell at every stage of your business, from the launcher online shop stage to the first real life store stage. We've got so many different things juggling on the show, and with Shopify, it makes it

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There's nothing open. Yeah, well, the problem is, he only... He doesn't drink, and he only eats one meal a day after the shows. Yeah. And now everything's closed early, so it's like, yeah, I know to pick the best Waffle House. I mean, there's not options. Okay, it worked for Lance Armstrong. Why didn't anybody...

Hey, the guy from... the guy over there. Now, what's your name again? Andres. And I know you're one bite away from being a full vampire, but... I mean, let's get the palest guy in Burbank. That's so true. Holy shit, dude. He is worth it. Please keep going with it. This guy did all the stunts for Oppenheimer.

Sorry, Bobby, no offense in your house. No, please, we love this. Sorry, your house We love this hit him as hard as you want He's smiling on Dave. You don't wait when you wake up. You don't eat breakfast. No nothing. What am I a girl? For what? See you you literally don't eat anything you know what I got on me right now you doing? I'm like, what are you doing? I'm like, what are you doing? I'm like, what are you doing? I'm like, what are you doing? I'm like, what are you doing? I'm like, what are you doing? I'm like, what are you doing?

I'm like, what are you doing? I'm like, what are you doing? I'm like, what are you doing? I'm like, what are you doing? I'm like, what are you doing? I'm like, what are you doing? I'm like, what are you doing? I'm like, what are you doing?

I'm like, what are you doing? I'm like, what are you doing? I'm like, what are you doing? I'm like, what are you doing? I'm like, what are you doing? I'm like, what are you doing? I'm like, what are you doing? I'm like, what are you doing?

I'm like, what are you doing? I'm like, what are you doing? I'm like, what are you doing? I'm like, what are you doing? I'm like, what are you doing? I'm like, what are you doing? I'm like, what are you doing? I'm like, what are you doing? I don't mind, do you? Yeah. I mean, I've learned tricks. Like, I keep my jacket outside of the green room so it doesn't smell. No, I can't wait to apologize to him at his funeral.

Whenever I get by, I'll live him. Yeah. You had a special go, good? Yeah, thanks to you. I mean, you had me on the other podcast, which helped a lot, and it was great. I was able to sneak on to your more successful podcast now. Louis Special has so many great jokes in it.

And yeah, it just hit a million views like the other week. Wow. Wow. Ali, that's great doing the intro for it. The best comedian you never heard of. It tells in it. I'm rapping. It's interesting that you didn't ask me to see what I'm doing.

Me and Andrew to be the intro. Well, I didn't, I wasn't sure if you guys would do it. I had to see if I would. You have to ask first. I had to, I didn't, I asked about this podcast and I had to sneak in with Dave, you know So like this is this I get what I can well and also He directed it. He produced it. He I mean like that's the full tilt Where'd you shoot it at the comedy fort in Fort Collins? Yeah, I didn't have other people work at me But I'm hands-on with the whole thing. It was Because he had to connect to his ski base, you know?

Right. Ski fans. You're a big ski bum, that's why. It's a great club, but it's still like, it's the best club you could possibly have in a small town in Colorado. So you're telling jokes about Jews and blacks, and they're like, what are those?

And it makes it all go, ooh. What are those? Interesting. But no, I'm pretty happy with it. And I love that set, the art of the set, you know, a brick wall and two waters. What more do you need? It's not, it's not, it's no high cross. Let's move on, let's move on.

Wait, wait, wait, go back to the beginning. I'm in the beginning. Oh, you are? Yeah, come on. There he is. Look at that. Bobby's in it though. Weren't you just in that? Scroll through. I think Bobby was come on. There he is. No, look at that. Bobby's in it though, weren't you just in that? Scroll through.

I think Bobby was in there. There he is. Oh! There's Robert. Insult Allie. It really is an insult to Allie, such a beautiful girl. Why would I say that about her to you? Look at how much prettier she is than, nevermind.

All right. Honestly dude, look at me right now. Just a better Asian. Honestly, I don't know what happened today, but it's like, it's aggressive. It's not. It is. There's something that you're doing with your squinchy face and your fucking red face. I don't like it. You know what I'm going to say?

We're renaming the show. What is it? It's very bad. Very bad. Today, we went to a new level. It's a new level today. Dave, are you, you're not married. Look at me. Of course I you you're not married. Look at me. I'm not girlfriend. Nothing. I'm totally I want to meet this Jewish girl like you're talking about. I've heard tell of them.

So you're not just zero. Nothing. Well, that's the best thing when you come out here. So many I was just in Austin, the most beautiful. Am I right? Yeah, beautiful everywhere. Yeah. And I'm just once again lurking around without the tie on. No, I don't know buddy, I'm so old. I really, you know, I have a lot of issues. My mom, I have to take care of her, she has dementia,

stuff like that, so it's a lot of work. And luckily she's doing okay, but the road is not fun. I mean, it's like you go out there, you do your thing, maybe you find a place to eat when you're, you know, like old. So these young pups out there, of course, having some laughs. How about you, buddy? I mean, honestly, I can assume on one of these apps,

you must be the real get. No, I'm- No apps? I'm, yeah, I'm just, no Raja? I'm on the Raja. I figured you would. Raya, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm on it, yeah. Is that what it's called, Raya?

Yeah, it's called Raya. The one that I signed up for. You got banned? He got banned from a few apps. I got banned from all of them the Raja. I figured you would. Raya, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm on it, yeah. Is that what it's called, Raya? Yeah, it's called Raya. What did I sign up for? You got banned? He got banned from a few apps. I got banned from all of them but Raya. Wow. Really? Wait, guess why? This is even better.

Why do you think he got banned? I can't, I didn't know you could get banned. Oh, you can. You can. Was it politics? No. Nudity? No. No, no. But very accurate, Gary. Very accurate, yeah, no, but the very accurate very

Yeah, yeah It's your hashtag bring money on the date You got banned for being Asian how dare you You son of a bitch he lied about his age Wow on all of them. That's okay. I thought that's okay It's not really. Yeah Wow. Well. I said it was 34. He was reported 52 and what happens is that is not even like you can't dance around that like did I tell you well I kind of lied. I'm about 19 years Yeah, two decades is a lot yeah, but

But but they could just Google me and that, you know, my name, my age is on the Internet. So it's like, that's not what I was doing it for. I mean, can't they see the picture of you running from the 9-11 tower? You said that you were in grade school. You were in grade school. You're a day trader. Yeah. No, because when you're 52, you get matched on those sides with other 50 people because

they're younger. Women in their 30s are like, they're caught off points 40. Okay. Right? So you're not getting them in, they're not getting your profile in there. And there's a reason for that. I'm curious. They are not interested in 52 year old men.

I understand. But can I, let me defend myself. Go ahead. I will. Please. Who's aggressive now? I'm sorry. So let me defend myself.

Please. I'm going to. You're thinking about, well how? No, I'll defend him. I'm not thinking about defending him. I'll defend him. Dude, that's what he does. Relax. I'm going to you're thinking about wow It is what he does He's a young 52 a very young 50 No, because by going to 34 and I've gotten on dates, you know, I mean and then they go yeah My my things at 40, but I'm glad I met you. It's a guy I I play young

They want you to lie. They're forcing you to lie I play young. They want you to lie, they're forcing you to lie. They're forcing me to lie. They shouldn't have that thing on their face thing. Right? All is welcome. That's what it should be called. All is welcome.

No, it's all famous people. They don't want the trash in there. That's exactly right. Right, right, right. Oh, I'm a doctor and I work with, get out of here, loser. Get out of here. There should be a scale where you can lie about your age

to the amount of money you have in your bank account. Yeah. The higher the bank account, the more you can lie. Wow, yeah. What about that sugar daddy thing? I mean, you'd be the awesome, like, I mean, come on, the young, you know what I'm saying? Oh yeah, so there are sugar daddy sites.

You don't want that, do you want that? Yeah, he does. I mean, yeah. But let me ask you about the sugar daddy sites. How, how much money are you if you're a sugar daddy? Yeah, what's the limit here? What do you mean a limit of what you have to spend? Yeah, because I there are there are sugar days I've been on them right and then it's like, you know, I mean they're asking for a certain amount of money I'm like that's how much money that I asking for so what we say like, you know me like 50 grand a month I don't know 50 grand. Yeah keep I don't know. 50 grand a month?

Oh, yeah, to keep them in the lifestyle. Why not just get a hooker? It's so much cheaper. I know, but some of them are- That's his expertise, the guy with the backwards hat. Carlos is a, he loves paid friends. Paid friends. Yeah, you don't have to go on Seeking

to get like a hot girl though. Can we go on Seeking and look at the profiles or no? What's Seeking? It's a Sugar Daddy site, right? Sugar Daddy site that he is. Yeah, yeah. Can we look at the profiles or no? What's Seeking? It's the Sugar Daddy site, right? Yeah, yeah. Can we look at the... See what's available here? Oh, look at that.

Oh, you have a profile? Yeah, he's already... You have one? I had one, yeah. But the girl I saw, she died like two months later. Oh. So I got off. I knew this would lead to a cold case.

Yeah. No, I just played the lead. What's even funnier about this is that you were on seeking. Yeah, but what you don't have any fucking you have no money They're not all they're asking you for 50 grand. They know you're worth right. They're asking you for $50. Oh Shit you get the but you want you get the bus pass girls. They call us salt and pepper daddies What does that mean? It means it's not all like sugar. Oh. It's a little bitter. So how much money do you think is

like if a girl goes, well I just need three grand a month. Well I would say no to everything. Even if I was single, I'm not fucking paying you four grand to hang out. That's insane. I think you had to put them up in an apartment and climb around the world. Yeah, yeah. Some of them are like that.

This is if you want a total disconnect, and if you just want... Yeah. Okay. I know that. Disconnect. No, don't do this because they're here. You know that's not true. I like disconnecting.

He wants to find love so fucking bad. I want love. Done. He's lying. Yeah. You know you do. This would be so weird, and you wouldn't get any sort of connection whatsoever. It'd be fucking weird.

Yeah. Well, then you have to do it like everyone else in this town. You have to shop at that Ralph's. That's right. That seems to be the place. The place. The Rock and Roll Ralph's on Sunset? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's a good one. You go down there, man. It's crazy. That is a pretty good one. There's some hot chicks there. But more rock. Yeah. Also vampires like yourself.

You know what I mean? You're not into that? What kind of, you just like a, you don't like tats and stuff like that? They have to be taller. Easy. Which is everybody. And, and, and.

And maybe taller, right? They have to have some education. What? Some form of education. Like GED? No, no, give me some GED, no, above. What about street smarts? No, street smart doesn't work with No above what about street smarts? No

Wait a minute you're you don't have a college education. Why do you care? That's why I want to breathe like yeah Yeah, I want to breathe with all everything seeing doesn't he doesn't have he wants to partner Yeah, I get it okay, so attractive actually very attractive very yeah, yeah, um they have to have um Driver's license Actually very attractive very yeah, yeah, um they have to have um Drivers license Yeah, yeah, yeah some semblance of the vote. Yeah of culture, you know, what does that mean? Well, they have to just like basically what I'm saying is the things that you know Hmm, you know that when we the other day I was telling that you like you it's odd that you know certain things that like You surprise me all the time. Yeah, but like I want that people that read no The people that just have that they they're just kind of like oh, I know about Rembrandt or I know about it's from reading

Not like you're bit by a historian and all of a sudden they have all the power. It's not like Spider-Man. In 1476. That's so funny. I think those are all accessible. I think those are really, you didn't say anything crazy. Nothing crazy. Actually, the range of women that he has dated, because I've been here for all of it, is it's actually pretty great.

You haven't had a typical, they all kind of have a different style, a different look. They're like, they've all been pretty cool. So he's- Some of them you haven't liked. There's been, there's been, well- There's one I like. You didn't like her either.

What the fuck is it? I know, but you said, I don't like that. You know when you know right away when your friend is with somebody and you're like, oh my God, this is- Yeah, how could that- I can't wait till you find out. Oh yeah, that's what, yeah. I can't wait till you know that this is a terrible idea.

But the one thing you didn't say was sense of humor. That's right. Yeah, sense of humor. No, you don't want that. No, I do. You don't want that. Well, you didn't say it in the list. But I don't want, I've dated hams.

Breathe. Yeah, I've dated like, you know what I mean, like hammy people. I don't like that. No, it's terrible. Is that a real word song? I don't even know. know what I mean? I'm on a booby, I'm on a booby. You know what I mean? Like hammy people. I don't like that. I don't know if that's a real word song. I don't even know. I'm on a booty, I'm on a booty. You know what I mean? I don't like that.

You know what I mean? I like, you know, like little sly jokes, you know what I mean? Just got to get your stuff right. Little roast, like a little roast. Yeah, that's nice. You know what I mean? Witty but laid back. Not like your improv one class.

Yeah. Exactly. Yeah, I don't like sketch. I like a sketch artist. Like a sketch player. Like what you exactly. Yeah, I don't like sketch. I could sketch artist like a sketch player. Like what you do. Yeah, I don't want me. You don't want for the opposite. I think so. You want a complementary partner.

Yeah. And also I need somebody that's that is an against like that that loves the culture of Korea. Who doesn't love the culture? Yeah. This guy. Wow. Yeah. I mean. Wow. Yeah. I mean, I want somebody that like, like, like, you know, I was on it, the girl that I'm, last week. Yes.

And, you know, I would tell, I go, have you ever had Shabu Shabu? Have you had Shabu Shabu? I was just in Vegas. I didn't see him playing in it. Was that a McPherson? Was that a Katorche? Who was that? Ladies and gentlemen, Shabu Shabu.

I know him. Yeah. He was the roommate of Sir Hans Sir Hans. Is that a magician? Is that a contortionist? Who is that? Ladies and gentlemen, Shabu Shabu. Hey, I know him. Yeah, he was the roommate of Sirhan Sirhan. Thank you, Bobby, for drawing my memory of culture. Shabu Shabu. You know Shabu Shabu, Louis? Boiling water.

The grilled, is it grill stuff? Oh no, it's the boiling water stuff. It's boiling water. And it's fucking phenomenal. I can't recommend this more. If you're a big foodie dude, go to a Shabu's place while you're here. I'm down. Do they make you cook it? now. I can't recommend this more if you're a big foodie do go to a shabu place while you're here I'm down. Do they make you cook it? Yeah, I don't like that. No, no, it's I need someone else. I understand what you're doing

Yes, you can get them to cook it. They don't it's fine. The places I go they don't they don't like to but well you choose your broth Alright, so it's like, you know, there's always a variety of phylic bone broth a tomato broth pot Hot pot is correct. That's correct. That is correct. That is correct. Okay. All right.

So like, you know, last week she was like, and she goes, well, she's from the Midwest. She's like, I haven't even heard of that. Yeah, that's okay. Yeah, but that's not fair. I mean, maybe she just cultured. No, but she did go. She was like, but I'm willing to try.

Yeah. And she went and she had a great time. She's like, I love this. Did she say, what is this garbage? And like spit it all out on an American flag? God, what are you doing to me? My point is I want them to like be able to like, you know, try things.

Yeah. She did wear Trump shoes to the date. That you did say that turned her off. What? No, no, she did not. The gold ones, the gold ones. The limited edition gold ones. You want to kind of grow, you can just sit on the couch

and watch a movie with, right? What would the movie be? Go ahead. The limited edition gold ones. You want to kind of grow, you can just sit on the couch and watch a movie with, right? What would the movie be? Oh, go ahead. Paris? What would it be? I hope you know the Korean cinema. Well, like, you know, I've done like Old Boy with a date. Squid Game.

No, that's a series. It's too long. Well, it depends on how much you like her. Oh, that's true. You start with Old Boy, then you get the squid game if you can remember. A good movie is Memories of a Murder. Of a Geisha. Oh. Memories of a Murder. I understand that, it's good?

It's so good. And so, you know, a Korean film. And then, that's it. Have you guys seen Old Boy, by the way? Yeah, which version of it though? There's like two, three. The Korean? The Korean. That's the one.

The other one, I'm not so sure about. Yeah, yeah. So good. Korean one? You gotta watch it. I saw it when it, someone gave me like a bootleg when it came out. This was back when there were bootlegs.

And like right when it got good, it started skipping. Kevin Shea got me a bootleg that started skipping. Kevin who? Kevin Shea. I'm not supposed to mention him on here. Sorry. I'd like you to mention more. Very good. Would your lady also be like smokes? I'm not supposed to mention him on here. Sorry. I'd like you to mention more.

Very good. Would your lady also be like, she smokes? Like she's not, that's not like a... Why I quit for a while, I just started smoking again. Okay. You know, he's giving me shit about me. I've been giving him a little bit of shit because we're trying to put it away, but it's, he's... I quit for two years and then...

What made you... Jesse, our opener. Oh. When we go in there, we have an opener. Yeah. And she smoked and you know, and every once in a while I'd be like, I've ever dragged. And then all these guys, everyone was fucking opener. Yeah, and she smoked and you know, and every once a while I'd like and then I'm ever dragged one was fucking smoking and then it was like, you know Then he started sneaking them and then he had the back. He's out of control. It's so crazy how it grabs you

I've heard it's the most addictive thing like more than anything else. Yeah, but there's nothing like nothing like it. Really? There's nothing like it. The vapes don't you know, I mean the dipping it just it's you are so right, buddy Yeah, you a pack a mean, the dipping, it just, it's... You are so right, buddy. Yeah. A pack a day award. Oh, more than that, no? Wow. But I would say, do you kind of regret the two years you didn't smoke? What'd you say? The two years that you took off?

No, because look. What happened? It's just, he would just dip the whole time. Oh, well there you go. Cans and cans of dip. Now that's hard to find a lady that enjoys that. I know, I know. Gotta go down south.

You kinda look like you run a Buc-E's anyhow, so this would be great. You gotta sail on jerky and dip. I mean, what are you looking for, Dave? Everything you just said, I thought that was great, except for that Korean knowledge stuff. I don't know. I mean, maybe we'll watch a mash, you know, occasionally.

Oh, right, right, right, right, right, right, right. Do you guys think it's actually harder to meet someone because you're successful and famous? I've said that to him all the time. I'm happy that I'm married, because now that he's single again, and we go out on the road and, like, you know, our nights usually end in such dramatically different ways

now where, like, me and some of these bozos will get food, and then he wants to go on the hunt. No, no, no. The hunt. He's on the hunt. I'm on the hunt, yeah. He likes to fish. That's what we call it. When he goes... I know when he's going fishing, when he sneaks away. I sneak away.

And he likes to be a... You know, he likes to go in his little... We let him go into the reeds. With my mask. Yeah. I make my swords. I sneak away. Very sneaky, sir.

Do you, like, have them put, like, like, your TV shows, like, on the TV and the bar, so you're just casually sitting there, like, yeah, look at that. That's me. Like, do you try and, like, show that you're famous? They'll put on new car like on the TV and the bar, so you're just casually sitting there like, hey look at that, that's me. Do you try and like show that you're famous? They'll put on new car smell on the bar sometime. This is perfect.

No, no Louie. Well what do you do? What does going on the hunt mean? Like why don't you just wait till after the show and meet someone after the show? I don't know how Dave feels about it, but I don't think in the last 20 years I've hooked up with somebody that didn't know who I was.

Well, I'm just gonna say this buddy. You know what my lady is? Merch. Yeah, that's right. Hey guys. Bobby, you gotta get with religion and that's merch. That'll take all the energy out of you. Put up a link right here to Dave's merch please. That's his lady. ZocDoc is a free app and a website where you can search and compare highly rated in-network

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Yeah, yeah. Go ahead. It's just distracting. I can't do this talk. I'm not leaving. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go ahead. It's just distracting. I can't do this talk. What are you, so you're searching for prunes. Love them. What do the prunes do? Wow, you, did you do any schooling or not?

No, what do the prunes do? It's weird when an Asian guy doesn't know anything about produce. That is just really weird. What do they do? Yeah. They move things through the body. It's God's ozempic.

So anybody? Prune? I'd love a prune. Throw me a prune. I would love a prune. Bob, you want a prune? I'd like prune. While you do your speech.

Good thing it's easy to hose down these plastic chairs because. Thank you. Thank you. I'd be careful with those guys. Thank you. You're not used to them? Just one of them, right?

I'm serious. I'm not fucking around. One prune is gonna fuck me up. Be careful with them. What, they Just one of them, right? I'm serious. I'm not fucking around. One prune is going to fuck me up. Be careful with them. What, are they going to make you poo? Like a lot. Yeah, you're going to shit a lot. Oh.

Yeah, but one prune isn't going to knock me out. No, you got to eat a bunch. If you're not used to it. All right, relax. Louis, one prune. I don't want you getting high off prune, man. Leave me alone, dude. I'm making my own choices.

What about dates? Are dates the same as brooms or no? Here. No. Leave me alone dude. I'm making my own choices. What about dates? Are dates the same as brooms or no? Here. No. Eat all of them. Well this guy. Sad here. You want some?

No. Holy shit. He's gotta eat all of them. Hello. These are delicious. I'm Bobby Lee. It's a healthy choice. Oh my god I got a shit.

Anyway let's um. What are you plugging Dave? I got the hot crust buns on Netflix. That just came out. Check that out. This is the recorder. Oh, look at that. It's in the top 10. Or as they call it in the Middle East, the saxophone.

Now... I'm going to take you through it, because I know we got a lot of homeschoolers in the room... who never played the recorder. It's a musical instrument. It's somewhere between a flute and a bong, all right? I hate watching myself, but seeing my bags under my eyes, I think tells the whole story.

Yeah, where'd you shoot that? Cobb, San Francisco, great crowd. And my crowds are really good, he'll tell you, my crowds love Joe. They kind of ruin you for other crowds because- Because they're so- They really are. You guys gotta come on my show sometime. Love. Love him.

How's that room? It's so, the ceilings are so high. I love Cobb. We're about to go both do it. Yeah, I know. I haven't done it in. You're used to the, you remember the punch line? The old punch line has the nudge.

I love that one. Yeah, that's the thing. It's like some of those clubs, they really spoil you too. But I like Cobb's and I really love the crowds up there. They totally like, there's no filter with them. They like it hard, they're good. But the punch line, I mean, if you guys could just sell less tickets,

I'm telling you, it's the best. We talked last night about Cobbs because I said, it's so funny that years ago, there was like this weird, I don't know, narrative sometimes, comics would be like, oh, San Francisco, like they had this idea. It was all bullshit. It was all bullshit.

Like they were like, oh they're tight up there. You don't think so? I do not. Every time I've played San Francisco, it doesn't feel the way that I was prepared for it to feel. Because they're your fans. No, but even when I've known, when I first was starting out touring,

when I first played Punch, you know, whatever, it was still great. I mean, maybe I was also, you know, whatever, it was still great. I mean, maybe I was also just a little, I think I was expecting worse, and so it turned out, I was like, fuck, this is great, I don't know. But I think that narrative was just filled into our brains for some reason, and I just assumed the worst, but now, even more so, it's phenomenal.

I mean, I have so much fun when I go up there. Cool, because that was always a big comedy town. San Francisco was like, a lot of great comics came out of there, you know, Ali, of course. Right, me. And Louis, that's where you started, right? So you feel like it might have been tight, huh? I find it, I find it.

Every time I go there, I'm like, it's beautiful, maybe I could live here, and then I do a set, like, just trying to work out around town, and I'm like, no, I couldn't, I can't work out here. Oh, wow. But that's different. That's at like the little bar shows where I'm just working out between, you know. I feel like that's bar shows in any city are going to feel a little unw here. Oh, wow. But that's different. That's at like the little bar shows where I'm just working out between, you know...

I feel like that's bar shows in any city are going to feel a little un-little coming. Maybe. I'm like... Being in New York for so long, because I've been living there for like 15 years, it changes. The West Coast, up and down the West Coast, the crowds feel different than... Except for San Diego. San Diego and Irvine are both pretty dope. Yeah, I love them.

We have so much fun in San Diego. Yeah. Much fun. Yeah. That's because he's from down there too, so it's chaos. I never knew that pretty dope. I love them. We have so much fun in San Diego. Yeah. Much fun. That's because he's from down there too, so it's chaos. I never knew that. Yeah, I love it there. That show we did there was magical. We get an all-Mexican audience down south, and it's my fucking favorite.

It's my fucking favorite. Wow. Great. They want a party. They just want a full show to just go nuts. They're live right away. There is no like warming them up, you know? That's awesome.

Yeah. And they are loyal fans too. Oh my God. Yeah. Bobby, you've done like towns, you've done like that Southwest circuit that like you really have to be like, you know, it definitely is like the Tex-Mex circuit,

like Corpus Christi. Yeah, I loved it. I've never, like, I've never played there. Wow. You never did any of that? No, cause so much more call it. I'm uh, you know, El Diablo Blanco, right? They just hiss at you yeah, I've done El Paso that's fun All the Texas oh my god, I played the mild that oil the evil eye

Yeah, but you know, um, but there's some markets I've never even played like like Montana Have you done those we're trying to keep trying to do it do it to a Stan Hope Doug Santa was the only guy who really like has like paved the path through those kind of areas where he just get in a van and Go from like bar show to bar show to bar show. Yeah, I was like Wyoming Montana is being I played the Dakotas, you know, but not like he has. So he's always the guy like, you know. Where to go. Yeah.

When you were coming out here, did you ever do Tribble runs? Do you know what that is? Maybe just a little bit, but I never did the full one. You remember that. I did them. Is it somewhere like scissoring? Oh, how about a Tribble run?

There was a guy who used to make a thing. Look at that, Dave Tribble. That was his name back then. And he would get young comics to play like sea rooms, and you would do North Nevada, Montana, you do Idaho, and you do small little, yeah, Stanhope, I think, talked to me about doing them a few times. They'd be like six to 10 hours apart so your days would be fucked. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You're in a van, you're driving. Yeah. And I lost money, I got two speeding tickets trying to make the shows. Really? Yeah, and I lost a bunch of money. Wow. And I was crying the whole way home.

It's like, I'm fucked, I can't make it. Yeah. So sad. It's sad how there aren't good flights anymore. I guess I took it for granted all those years, like the flights to Idaho, flights, all these different things, it's so difficult to get to these towns,

but I still miss doing the towns. Yeah. Yeah. What's your favorite town? What are you like? San Diego is your home base, go ahead. I'll tell you my favorite clubs. Yeah.

Well, too funny. I don't know the way you said my favorite clubs. Yeah, it's so funny Yeah On State Street, yeah, that's a great one fucking love it. Yeah, Denver their comedy works downtown, okay I'm not yelling at you. All right, just give us one more and then you can let I want to keep going All right. All right. I got another one. I Know what it is. I got another one. I know what it is. I bet I do. Cleveland. Hilarities. Hilarities.

Yeah, he loves that one. That's a great one. Nick. Yeah, yeah. He is a... I mean, I love him. That guy's great. Great fucking guy. So good, yeah.

So good. And after you do the week there, does he give you like a bat with your name on it? Like, just he is a little something. Yeah, something like that. You know, I know you have to fly and you're gonna have to get this through airport security. Yeah.

You know, you don't mind carrying this wooden train that these prisoners made, they're big fans of you. But even when you, I've stopped by, like when we played Cleveland, I stopped by the club. That's nice. And he was there, and he was so like, you want a meal? Yeah.

Let me make you something. Like, he's like the nicest guy. I wish I went, you didn't let me go. And then there's that little alley, printer's alley, they call it. Yeah, printer me make you something like he's like the nicest guy. I wish I went you didn't let me go And then there's that little alley printers alley they call it. Yeah printers alley. That's that's what it's on Oh, that's right that little alley with the coffee shop in the restaurant Yeah, so tight so and then but they used to one have one in Bellevue in Seattle called parlor live It's no longer there anymore. Yeah, what's in Seattle now? What club is it? Laffs, but it's weird. It's one of those cities where it's like,

there's not really a big club. There's Laffs, but yeah, everything keeps shutting down. Yeah, why do some cities don't have a major, like Boston, does Boston have one? Yeah, Wilbur. The Wilbur Theater. The theater's kind of taken over, but there's no way. It's not a comedy club.

But it used to be a big comedy theater. Well, Nix was there, right? Nix and Laff Boston. Laff Boston. But they're both smaller clubs. It's weird,, Nix was there, right? Nix and Laugh Boston. Laugh Boston. But they're both smaller clubs. It's weird, Portland has a better scene than Seattle and Portland's a smaller city. Helium Portland, awesome. Oh yeah.

But my, of the improvs, DC improv, give it up. The best. Give it up. Allison, oh, so good. Yeah, this is great. Oh my god. Yeah, but also, they don't give you the money you want. Sorry?

Well, it is in a basement. We're only gonna give you this amount and that. Sorry? Well, it is in a basement. We're only gonna give you this amount and that's it. This is what we give every week, right? I'm like, yeah, but I'm gonna sell it out. Yeah. Is this recent or years ago? Maybe 10 years ago.

Okay, well. It's different now? You're gonna get more money now. Okay, okay. All right, okay, Dave. All right. Fuck, man. I mean, honestly, well, otherwise play the Kennedy Center, okay?

But here are towns I don't like Pittsburgh really I'm going there Pittsburgh improv. I can't wait Move Bobby wrong and come to that you like it. Yeah, well, it's fine. It's just What was it gonna say like it's me. It's more about the flight. That's the direct flight, so I'm in okay direct flight big deal Oh, I have some shit right here, and I want to sit talk shit right now. Let's hear it Hartford Funny bone no and Virginia Beach funny bone no fuck them wow he had me one time Right one fucking time and then I try to go back and they're like it's not for us really yeah It's not it's not for us. Wow, because I show my little peepee

for everybody Everyone knows I could see in Connecticut cuz that's a rough market. I mean, there's no I play the casino there That's what you I've never heard of a committee like I will sell out your club and they're like no, thanks Yeah, well the contingency is his penis. I mean I pulled it... Well, I didn't... It's not like I pulled it out. I just, you know, I'm wild. Yeah, you're crazy. I'm free and I'm wild up there, you know? But the beauty is you're not for everybody and they're not for you.

So that's a good way to put it. Yeah, but it's a business, right? So if I'm selling tickets... Don't you ever just want to like rent out the parking lot across the street, say, I'm doing my own show, and say, fuck you to them? Yeah. I fantasize about that all the time. Didn't Stan hope you used to do something like that?

He did that at the... JFL, right? At the JFL thing. and who's got the last laugh? I mean it's Doug Yeah, I think this one he would outlive JFL. Did he really do that? Yeah his own party. It was dope He'd rented out a car wash and he's had it in the car wash Yeah, wow dripping away and going over to his party. Yeah, cuz it was fucking incredible. Yeah, it was awesome Oh my God. Why would you want to go to JFL if you could do that? Yeah.

Because they dissed him in some way or what? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. I think it was also that, but he also kind of, he just likes making fun shit take place and just a place for comics to go. He doesn't like, you know, like all the, you know, the laws.

Corporate hubbub. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Well, it was like, the cool thing, it's always, you know those parties that they're like, they're kind of parties, but you're kind of schmoozing, so it's not really fun. Yeah, it's not. And also agents don't know how to have fun,

and execs don't know how to have fun. He had an actual fun party at JFL. Right. Mostly for comics. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Doug is my favorite comic, so. Of all time, you think? Yeah, no, I think Doug, nobody does like him, no one ever.

He's like, whatchamacallit, he's the original, you think? Yeah, no, I think Doug, nobody does it like him. No one ever, he's like the, whatchamacallit, he's the original, I think. Who's your least favorite comic of all time? Well, in this room? Or, so you didn't like it again? Did you have a story where you and I, when you and him stopped talking for some reason? Was there like ever a fallout with you guys?

No. When you guys were writing together, why did it stop? It was, we were writing together for like four days when I opened for him. It wasn't like months and months of writing together. I thought it was a thing. I don't know, it was a brief. And then he moved.

Yes. I tried to talk you out of it. He would come to New York, he's like, you look pale. Go back to LA, everything sucks here. Because you're the, I'll be honest with you, out of all these years of writing with so many people, you were the best one. Thank you. That's very nice. No one takes it more He really does the work, but he understands also the way I talk and my voice And he was able to like cut around the fatter on the setups and stuff so we can get to the thing and you're just able

To like get my cadence down. Oh, thanks And so and then you moved, and the couple of jokes that we did, I still have it in my acts sometimes. That's awesome. And it's like, where the, come back. Wow. Well, I'm back, so let's do it.

Do you live here now? Yeah, I'm here in New York, but I am here, yeah. No, but I thought it was gonna be like, we only worked for four days, and then we wrote The Karate Kid. Like, we just ate together. It was just, he's footballing, I'm writing it down, and then I'm playing this guy, and I'm like, Mr. Miyagi,

and he's like, watch out, Daniel. And it's like, just boom. Next thing you know, Emmy. I mean, whatever that is, Oscar. He's come back, man. But I would love to work with you again. That would, it's easy. Well, maybe, I mean, how many dates

do you do with Dave on the road? If you say headliner, he's his own guy.. Yeah less and less as it as it is, but yeah, okay I don't downgrade you as a feature on my bad as a headliner. I know yeah, I know that you're a headliner I congratulations. You have your own special everything. I do it's on YouTube. I know I YouTube alright Over a million watch out beheading videos. Watch out Islamic Jamaahad. Jamaahad.

I'm heading your way. Yeah. Anyway, yeah, welcome back. Yeah, I'd like to meet your wife too. Oh yeah, you should, she's really nice. Okay. I like her. This'll be great.

Your wife makes a mean, what is that again? Turnip soup? You'll love it. She makes it great. Give wife makes a mean, what is that again? Turnip soup? You'll love it. She makes it great. Give me a name, something. I didn't buy a Ukrainian bride. This is, she's not turnip soup. She's a very nice lady, Italian lady.

From the West Coast? She's from the West Coast, but we met in New York. I think when you live in New York, you're kind of still drawn to California people. Yeah. So. Not Dave. Well, he's from New York, you know?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dave, is there a date where you're gonna be like, okay, this is, I'm, I mean, is there an age where you're gonna be done? Yeah, no, I'll be 60 next year. It's gonna either happen then or no. It's either that or I start a dog sanctuary. I figure it's kind of like one of those things like,

yeah, you know, the dogs get me. You know, that kind of thing. Yeah, but you think, can you see yourself doing it at 70? No, I don't think I'll live that long I probably made next year, but I already did a will so did you really make a will? Yeah, but you but because I I can like I'm I have arthritis in my hands now. No Yeah, yeah, I'm just I can see myself getting old

My knees, you know those nunchucks really. When you mishandle them all the time, it just kinda gets your nunchuck. That's true, that's true. Oh, so you're thinking now's the time, now or never, right? What do you mean? With a woman, right? You wanna get a marriage?

Yeah, I think I'm, well, I talked to this girl this morning. She's just had a baby. Okay, so that's the girl you're kinda hoping. No, no, no, I'm just saying no, no. She was telling me, she goes, mommy, I'm telling you, I don't know why I didn't do this earlier. This is the best thing that's ever happened to me.

Oh, how old is she? She's probably 34. Well, that's a good age for it. Right, right. I'm trying right now. I'd like, like, yesterday. Like right now. No, not right now.

No, but she is ovulating, like, so I have to, I have to go and bust it. You wanna get out of here? No, I mean, we'll see what time we get. How old are you? I'm 44. That's another great age. Yeah.

They're all good ages. They're good ages. Look at your staff of young men over there. What does that mean? They're great fathering years. Our vampire, Andre, he's 116. But did you regret not having a baby? Yeah, I'm regretting it.

I'm regretting it right now. Really? No, I do, yeah. I mean, like, you know, relationship, whatever, but it would be nice to have some kids, but honestly, you know, the lifestyle we have is not very conducive. A lot of the road stuff is just, you know,

endless amount of travel and all that kind of stuff. But yeah, I would like to you know Yeah, but you could tell me Steve Martin did it late well, but he's a genius though There's a lot of there's a lot of legendary comics Well, but Albert Brooks and he does but these guys are like one of the kind G Dave. Yeah, you are that yeah All right, I can't see me and my son on a Tribble run You ever been to your friend in Montana So, but you know, you're a legend, right? I don't like I don't say I don't say it

I know but you're like somebody that's like don't I know I'm going to No, I don't we're all in this. I'm not smoking. Oh getting nervous, but We're all we're all in the trenches together. I know, but I'm just, dude, let me say, Oh, you want to smoke? Yeah, I want to smoke now too. What I want to say is, like, I have Asian kids come up to me and go, oh man, dude, like, thank you. And you're, you know what I mean?

And I go, I haven't made it yet. You know, that's the feeling. Yeah. I haven't, like, I'm still trying to discover and get to the next level or whatever. So it doesn't feel, it feels like I'm old when they say that. But it's true to them. Yeah, no.

They look up to me and when they were young they saw me on ManTV or whatever it might be. Wait, what? I'm listening. Okay. So I knew- It was about me for a minute, wasn't it? Yeah.

No, but I going back to you. No, but I liked what you did. I wish you could both accept that about yourselves and stop talking shit to yourselves in your heads. Yeah, yeah. Easy, Dr. Seuss, whoever you are. So Dave isn't- No, but I was just gonna say,

whenever somebody comes at you with that, like, dude, you don't know, man. It's always your worst day. It's always for me it's like oh my god my catheter fell out but yeah I'm just not a compliment guy but I understand like we've been doing this for decades and the thing that that people really don't understand is that you know the the best comics are the ones that are a fun hang off stage and on stage. Definitely both of those, man.

You're a good guy and always good to us. So it's a scene, it's a lifestyle. It's a lifestyle, yeah. I think a lot of the new comics, they come in and they kinda go like, do you have any advice? They'll say, and I'll be like, well get comfortable shoes because you're gonna be standing in front of comedy clubs probably for the next 20 years. It's that kind of thing, take care of your feet.

And it's never what they want to hear, but it really is like you gotta commit to it. And once you can, there's nothing more you'd ever wanna do. It is unbelievable. I mean, you never think, because remember the early days where you're like, I don't know how I'm gonna do it.

I mean, what was your backup plan? There was no, I didn't have one. With your love of art and history? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so I just remember going how, and then I'm so glad I didn't quit. Yeah. That's what it is.

Just not quitting. Well, just hard work and talent, but yeah, not quitting is awesome. I know, you gotta have that. I believe more in hard work than talent, but I agree that there are some people that are just like gifted at this, but I'd say that the hard work,

especially like when things like you have those highs and lows and when like you're like, we talk about this all the time, like just this no new material, I can't believe it, like we're trying and listening to tapes and all this stuff, and then they finally get like the clouds part and like God looked down on you or whatever. You're like, okay great, well this will keep me going

until the next, you know, the next run. So. That feeling is so. And when you first start, that's what it is. You're like, oh my God, oh, I figured something out. That'll keep me going, you know? Hmm. Yeah.

That's it. That's it. I like it. Is something happening under the table? No. Nothing? No, I like it. Is something happening under the table? No. Nothing? No, I'm listening.

I'm absorbing what you just said, the information. Yeah. And that's right, I have to take more risks. That's what it is. That's what you got out of it? Yeah, I think I got out of it. You gotta start. I would love to.

You keep saying that, but we should just do it. Let's just move on from it. I don't wanna talk about me. Oh, all right, so we're not gonna do it? Yeah, yeah. Again. What about, do you exercise? Yeah, I do It's a little personal I'm sorry my bad my bad No, I'm a you do the I just had my my shoulder operated on and that was like six months ago

Hmm, and then you have to ease your way back in okay That's it so I do like a little hotel workout But this is the guy really he knows I do like a little hotel workout, but this is the guy who really, he actually goes to the hotel gym, which I don't like to do. He does that, he's active. I can see that.

I love it so much. It keeps me kind of a little sane, especially because it's like, I like the scheduling of it all. Because if I say I'm gonna go get coffee and write and read and hang for a minute, then I'll go, make sure I just go to the gym from this time to this time,

then I feel like I'm good to not, you know what I mean? I feel like it frees me up in some weird way. I can't sleep if I don't do some kind of exercise. I got some kind of crazy energy or something. I'll go sometimes on the road, I'll go for super, super late night walks. I'll just walk for a while and I'll get tired.

Yeah, I'll just think it out, put stuff down on my phone, and then I'll be exhausted by the time I get home. I like to walk as well. Yeah, love it. What when we're on the road? I'll wake up and then I'll go to the lobby and he's already had a full day He's got golf clubs, you know running. I mean, he's got all kinds of things meetings. He had I'm just like And I just feel like, oh. I started a small business by the time he got here.

But it's like, will you just wake up at eight in the morning? It's like seven o'clock every day, seven o'clock. When you're on the road, what time do you wake up? I don't really sleep on the roads. I keep falling asleep in my clothes. Which I don't like that. Do you really? Because there's something about,

you put that hotel TV on, and it's always like movies like, oh my God gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that.

I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that.

I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that.

I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that that I'm not, you know, a threat, you know? And then I like to walk, that's what I do. And you know, I think, especially if you're like, it's rare to be in a downtown now. It's usually all these clubs are out of town, so you're like walking on highways, you're going, you know, like all these weird things.

But when you're downtown, there's a lot to do, so, or at least walk around, so I try and do that. Do you try to get hotels with balconies so you can smoke on the balcony? You can't do that, they don't want you to do that or at least walk around, so I try and do that. Do you try to get hotels with balconies so you can smoke on the balcony? You can't do that, they don't want you to do that either. Oh really? Yeah, every fun thing about smoking has been ruined. Even in Vegas, there's very few smoking hotels now.

It's funny, there's a hotel we're playing in Vegas, and there's a hotel right near us that is part of the chain of hotels that they own, and one of them is non-smoking and non-gambling, and it's like right off the strip. Wow. Who was that for? It's called Aria, or Aria?

What is it? Aria, right? Yeah. What is it, an Amish? Yeah. It's so strange though, it's non-smoking, non-gambling, it's not, it's right, it's not a casino, or is it? Just a hotel.

Just a hotel. Oh wow. Which is right next to where we're playing, and it was weird, because they talked to us about that. They were like, do you want to stay at this or whatever? What do you want to stay there? No. Why?

Because I want smoking and gambling. That's fucking Las Vegas. Isn't it? Don't they have a lot of clubs there? It's around the corner though, man. What's that? Don't they have like night clubs and stuff there? Isn't it like, it's still like,

it's still party there, no? No dancing. No, Thomas, yeah. It's Footloose. And the lights are an illusion. In fact, there is no lights. That's CGI. No, that's Amish, yeah. It's Footloose. And the lights are an illusion. It's actually, there is no lights. That's CGI. No, that's just the brightness of the people in there.

We're such good people. Yeah. Hey, you're great. I would live there. I mean, if I was in this second city, I would probably live there. Really? Let's move.

I'm with you, buddy. Yeah, yeah. That'd be cool. Let's do it. They got great restaurants now. They do? Yeah, 24 hours. 24 hours. Yeah, you were talking about the... Access.

Save a couple of bucks on taxes. Really? Yeah. Nevada, no state tax. Yeah, Nicolas Cage. Oh, we gotta go. Nicky lives there, you know? Yeah, Nicky's there.

And Polly Shore. Polly's back now. Garrett Topp, there's a lot of guys we know that live there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then you eat stage time. What is that? Stage time. Doesn't Regan live there now?

Brian Regan. Yeah, Regan lives there. Regan moved there? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But there's that club Wise Guys. Have you been there? time. Doesn't Regan live there now? Brian Regan. Yeah, Regan lives there. Regan moved there? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But there's that club Wise Guys, have you been there? No. It was great. Really?

It was the one like off the strip, it was in the strip mall, and I'm telling you, it was so much fun. Jeff Ross was in town, so he came by, did shows with me. Wow. It was just, the locals, they get it. Talk about a more jaded crowd. They live with these Cirque du Soleil people,

so it's like what they did. Yeah, you know, and it's also like pretty pretty big coin out there to go to see any show It's so expensive. So yeah, like comedy is pretty reasonable. Yeah that level but like amphitheater style not so much What's the room seat? Probably about 400. Oh, wow. That's great. Yeah, I want to play that why kill it? Yeah, I'll play that little sneaky you do like sneaky one nighter there. Yeah, this was sneaky white. That'll be fun. Yeah, no sneaky white You white people are sneaky You never see the movies Sneaky Pearl Harbor was sneaky, but what they did sneaky sneaky sneaky and then Bum Bum Beyond I

Put a Japanese person in that movie man. Oh what an Oppenheimer? Yeah and then Bum Bum, beyond that. Put a Japanese person in that movie, man. No. What? In Oppenheimer. Yeah. It's already over. What do you mean? It's done, we can do it again.

Well, Oppenheimer too, man. Well, you were the one, you wanted more black people in Black Panther and- Yeah, I did. The limit. Well, kind of too small for me. Too small, he wants more. The whole country.

More, he wants more. Look at, oh my God. There's a documentary on, I've already talked about this,. Look at, oh my God. There's a documentary on, I've already talked about this on HBO about, oh my God. What, about what? About fucking the Hiroshima Nagasaki. Oh, right. Yeah.

And then the people, so people ran into like, they had these vats of water. This is the fun part of the show. Yeah. It took a turn. Yeah. You're gonna love it. Well, you know, when the bombs hit, have you heard of black rain. Yeah, no, what is it?

That's the radiation coming down with the soot and all kinds of yeah Yeah, when the bomb that's the actual material stuff that goes up off the ignition. Mmm. Yeah, but you got people got so thirsty They drank it come on. Oh, no. Yeah, and then Well with the nuclear explosion they have they had shadows of people that would just melt it actually into the sidewalk sidewalk Cement why'd you wink at me just now you winked him right back at me? I know you know why I winked at you. We love it. That was it. That was actually a cool movie That was uh, what's his name? Yeah Yeah, that was black rain rock or in talk about ever could you ever be like an action person?

That's actually the best cuz like there's very few lines for people like us like yeah, okay watch out you're funny you're being Bobby be great action movie. Thank you so much Louie two days ago. I got offered one Yeah, what is the lead of a fucking action movie? Yeah, what is it? It's a double gamer where I'm a double ganger That's great. Yeah, what is it? It's a doppelganger, where I'm a doppelganger. That's great. You gotta say the word first. Yeah. You're a boggelganger?

A doppelganger. Quite frankly, I think I'd be a good assassin. I do think you would be a great assassin, my friend. Number one, I don't sleep. That's right. Right, and I'm very focused. Like, when I'm playing Stardew Valley, it's a farming simulation game.

Sorry. For his ancestors. For my ancestors, yeah. I'm very focused, and that's why I'm... Sorry. Yeah, yeah. For his ancestors. For my ancestors, yeah. I'm very focused, and that's why I'm good at video games, is because I like grinding, so I'm very good at noticing things. Would a scope be hard for you to look through, though? I'd get a more adjusted eye piece.

Yeah, you'd get an eye piece. Yeah. And I think I could sit there. Put your arms straight out. Can you hold your arms steady? Put your arms straight forward. Why? Just straight out. Can you hold your arm steady? Put your arm straight forward. Why? Just straight out. You're going to shame me?

No, how steady is your hand? That's the whole big thing about snipers. Oh, yeah. Oh, fuck. Yeah. Steady hand. Look at that. This is great. That's shaking. You do yours. Shaking. No, it's not. Look at it.

Yeah, me either. That's pretty good. You guys are both pretty good. I think you can both be snipers. Thanks. It looks like you both were hiling a young Hitler. Hey little guy keep it up. Keep it up. Young Hitler coming soon. One day you will be great. I'm sorry to funny our way out of that one. That was during the 92 LA. Yeah that yeah yeah good old days. Do you remember that? Yeah, I was here. The Koreans were up on the fucking store fighting.

Look at them laughing. Oh, I got cash on the block. Okay. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. They loot, I kill. Why don't you thank our guests for being on the show. Thank you. We're really gonna end on that.

Yeah. I wanna let that sit for a while. Why? Why? It's always nice to put him. We're really gonna end on that. Yeah. I wanna let that sit there. Why? Why? It's always nice to put it. Oh, we did a long time. It's always nice to put it on that spot. Did we do a long,

did we really do a long time? Yeah. Awesome, see we're breaking it, dude. Over an hour, I love it. Yeah. That was long. It was good. Thanks for having me, man.

So let's plug your, Dave, a Netflix special. Yes, Hot Cross Buns. Hot Cross Buns, on Netflix right now. And big thanks to all the fans who've been watching it, supporting it, tweeting it, a Netflix special. Yes, Hot Cross Buns. Hot Cross Buns, Netflix right now. And big thanks to all the fans who've been watching it, supporting it, tweeting it, all that stuff. And my comedy friends, awesome, dude. I can't thank, respect, love to you guys, thank you.

Louis Katz. Yes, I got a new special on YouTube, and I'm gonna plug some dates too, I'll be at the. No, does that cut to there? No, don't do it. Okay. Yeah, please, please do. Can I? I'm at Zany's in Chicago, and I'm at the Punchline in San Francisco, and I No, the Zany's okay. No, don't do it. Okay. Yeah, please, please do.

Can I? I'm at Zany's in Chicago, and I'm at the Punchline in San Francisco, and I'm in the DC improv also. Go to luicast.com to get any of those tickets. I will say this before we go. I really do, I want to give you, I know this is annoying for you Dave, but massive amount of props for you. You're always such a supporter of the comedy community, and comics are my good friend Ian,

who you know, you know. Ian Fadda, yes, just with Ian in Austin, he crushed it. Check out Ian, Be an Ian, that's his podcast. Be an Ian with you all. And I would say if you're gonna see a guy live, he's the guy, this guy, great joke writer. I mean, we're just talking here. This guy blows me away every time I see his stuff.

I have a compliment for you. Okay, oh this is great, it's like a circle jerk. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And this is the true thing. So any comic. Thanks for listening, you guys. Have a good night. Good night, good luck.

No, do it, please. No, any young comic when they're like, I don't know how to write or whatever, right, I always refer to them to some albums, right, and Skanks for the Memories, in terms of switches and just being in the pocket, and I always refer to them to that album. It's one of the best comedy albums of all time, I think.

It is. Yeah, it's just the jokes are so good. Oh, thanks. Yeah, so anyway. Thank you, boys. Thanks for being a bad friend. Yeah, ooh, yeah, ooh, yeah