Bad Friends - Roasting Madonna’s NFT Bajingo
Episode Date: May 22, 2022Thank you to our Sponsors: https://meundies.com/fancy & https://www.doordash.com code: BADFRIENDS2022 & https://buffy.co code: BADFRIENDS YouTube Subscribe: http://bit.ly/BadFriends 0:00 A Most Incr...edible Birth 09:03 Netflix is a Joke 18:35 Is Bobby a Guy's Guy? 28:45 Fancy Famous and Who is Superman? 33:41 Burn Out or Fade Away? 37:11 Madonna's Beautiful Downstairs NFTs 40:14 Like a Prayer and Papa Don't Preach 48:39 The Joke that Cracks Jerry Seinfeld Up 51:22 The Last Days of Bobby Lee and Andrew Santino More Bobby Lee TigerBelly: https://www.youtube.com/tigerbelly Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bobbyleelive Twitter: https://twitter.com/bobbyleelive Tickets: https://bobbyleelive.com More Andrew Santino Whiskey Ginger: https://www.youtube.com/andrewsantinowhiskeyginger Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino Twitter: https://Twitter.com/cheetosantino Tickets: http://www.andrewsantino.com More Bad Friends iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-friends/id1496265971 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/badfriendspod Twitter: https://twitter.com/badfriends_pod Official Website: http://badfriendspod.com Opening Credits and Branding: https://www.instagram.com/joseph_faria & https://www.instagram.com/jenna_sunday Credit Sequence Music: http://bit.ly/RocomMusic // https://www.instagram.com/rocom Character Design: https://www.instagram.com/jeffreymyles Bad Friends Mosaic Sign: https://www.instagram.com/tedmunzmosaicart Produced by: George Kimmel & Bryce Hallock - 7EQUIS Podcast Producers: Andres Rosende & Pete Forthun This podcast episode was sponsored by Candy Crush Sponsorships: on for this episode Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
You two are bad friends!
Who are these two idiots?
White dude and an Asian dude.
You two are disgusting.
Who are you two or something?
We're bad friends!
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A woman born with two vaginas had...
Gave birthed...
Wait, wait.
In between.
When you looked that up, a woman born with two vaginas, a woman in Alaska,
has two vaginas and gave birth.
But which hole did the baby come out of?
Not the hole that I had sex with.
Bob?
What?
Let's see this.
This woman...
I was lopsided while pregnant.
Woman feared her two vaginas and cervixes and wombs would leave her childless.
Gives birth naturally.
But is there...
I would have taken a prop bed on which vagina the baby would come out of.
But the two vaginas is a...
Like a Siamese twin that was underdeveloped, right?
Oh, is that what that is?
If you have two...
She was born with two vaginas, two cervixes.
So one of them is an underdeveloped Siamese twin.
Oh, so all that's left of her twin is her...
It's her sister's baby.
She's the aunt.
All that's left of her twin is her pussy.
Yeah.
Like her twin is gone, her vagina is the only place left.
Well, sometimes in India, a kid will be born with two legs and a hand sticking out of their back.
Dude, when you see that, it'll be like a fist out of their face.
Yeah, yeah.
It's the craziest shit.
Right.
Whenever I meet them, I always shake that other hand.
And I always call it a different name.
Hey, Frank.
You shake their fist?
Ted, excuse me.
Yeah.
This woman was born...
This is what I'm going to...
This is what I want to know.
Yeah.
When the baby...
When the baby's coming out, it sees two...
Well, it doesn't see anything, but two vaginas, which one does it pick?
And would that change its life?
I don't know.
I don't know.
Come on, dude.
Oh, so it's a...
The whole you come out of...
The tube of destiny.
Exactly, tube of destiny.
The tubes of destiny.
The whole you come out of very much dictates your complete future.
You think so?
I 100% believe it.
Why?
Why would that matter?
Because there's got to be some kind of powerful juice magic when you slide out that dictates
almost everything.
Maybe.
So there's...
Look at George.
There's two rules.
Right.
He came out of the wrong hole.
He definitely came out of the wrong hole.
He came out of the wrong hole.
There was only one choice.
What do you mean?
He came out of the butthole.
You're a butthole, baby.
No.
You are 100% a butthole, baby.
Yeah.
And the doctors were like, yeah, this does look like a butthole, baby.
Yeah.
My question is when they remove the limbs, like, you know what I mean?
Sometimes this is what I hate about white doctors in Western medicine.
We don't like white doctors either.
I know.
I don't want a white doctor.
So in India, right, a kid will be born with like, you know, an extension of asymes to
incoming or other body, right?
And there's always like a doctor in America, I'll operate for free.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
To get the publicity.
Pro bono.
Yeah.
But it's like, what does...
What does the kid think?
Like, don't take off Larry.
He wants his brother there.
I don't know.
Someone to chat to at night.
Well, especially when it's like a face, when there's, when there's a face, well, the face
one is weird.
Yeah.
Yeah.
These are all these deformities that we shouldn't...
I just so sad to even...
We're not making fun of the person.
I'm not making fun of the person.
No.
It's called Lakshitatma.
Yeah.
What is Lakshitatma?
Zoom in a little bit there, George.
Lakshitatma.
Oh, that's a human.
No, that's not a...
Yeah.
What are you doing, man?
That's Lakshitatma.
They thought she was a god.
Remember this, a goddess?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Can you pinch so I can see her?
Yeah.
God, I wish fucking we had Carlos here.
We need Carlos here.
Isn't this insane that you bring this guy in who's been a fucking...
This guy has been a podcast producer for how many years?
10?
12?
Yeah.
No, let me ask you something.
Yeah, over seven.
No, no, no.
Let me make fun of him for a second.
All right.
Seven fucking plus years.
And I said, can you pinch and zoom?
He can't do that.
Do you know we pay him the most of anybody we pay?
I know we do.
I know we do.
It's disgusting.
For the next rest of the year, you're switching salaries with fancy.
Yeah.
So just let him...
All right.
He's a butthole baby.
All right.
So here's the deal.
This is...
Yeah.
I have something to say about her.
Right?
Go ahead.
Here's the thing.
I'm going to be very mindful about it.
Right?
Make sure you just focus on him for this job.
Just imagine the cool jobs you could have as she gets older.
Drummer?
She's the number one at the sweatshop.
Locksheed.
Locksheed made 15 nikes in 20 minutes.
How?
Yeah.
Just 38 hands.
There's another job that she could have.
That's amazing, right?
Goalkeeper on a soccer team.
Oh, my God.
Nothing's going by her.
Dude, imagine you're doing a penalty kick and she's with all her arms.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
You wouldn't know what direction, right?
And in two of the arms, she's doing taxes on the other ones.
She's doing other things.
Like, honestly, she's like Googling something.
You know what I mean?
With an iPad.
I don't know what she's doing, right?
But there's just so many things to do not remove those arms.
I think you keep them.
Yeah, that's a power.
Well, this says Locksheed before her 24-hour surgery, you know, seven.
So obviously, she did get them removed.
Yeah.
That's really angered me when that happened.
But didn't they think she was a goddess because they thought she was compared?
Because what's the god of with all the...
Shiva.
Shiva has, yeah.
But that also would be cool.
It's just like, I would turn to my mom or the surgeon and go, please don't remove it
because I've just been sitting on an altar eating grapes all day.
Right.
They've been feeding you grapes.
That's her job.
Now she's just a regular girl.
She could her whole life just chilling eating grapes all day.
People were saving her.
Picking a grape from here.
This is very mean, but that image reminds me so heavily of the creature in the Simpsons.
Do you know what I'm talking about?
That guy.
That's exactly what I'm talking about.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The aliens.
The aliens.
The aliens.
Whoa, dude.
That's heavy, dude.
No, but that's...
It's heavy, dude.
No, no.
Whoa, dude.
No, no.
Hello.
Yeah, yeah.
Are you calling Eastern Indians aliens?
No, I'm saying the image of the multiple arms doing things reminds me of the octopus.
There's other references.
She reminds me of calamari.
That is an octopus.
That's one and the same.
That's easier.
We're on the same wavelength.
Imagine if calamari looked like her.
Would you eat it?
No, no one would eat calamari.
Do you like calamari?
No, I didn't even like it.
I think it's gross.
I think we lie to ourselves when we eat it because it's supposed to be like a delicacy almost.
I think calamari sucks.
Say chewy butthole.
It's chewy butthole.
Yeah, yeah.
I don't want a chewy butthole.
First of all, we're back to the old school days.
Yeah.
We're back to the old school days because COVID once again got, Doc is sick for the fifth
time with COVID.
Yeah.
Oh man, I got me one time.
You know what it is?
What?
It's because Doc does all this NASA science stuff on here and the government's trying
to kill him.
You know that.
That's interesting.
The government is trying to kill him.
That's interesting.
And he would, by the way, who would vouch for it?
He would.
He'd be like, yeah, man, they're coming after me, Drew.
Yeah, yeah.
So he's gone.
Rudy is gone.
He's not faxed.
He refused us to vote.
I don't know if he's faxed.
My assumption was that he wasn't faxed.
He's not.
But we talked about it.
We've got fancy sitting in the chair to fill in for both a little Block Magic.
How did the show go?
How did my show go downtown?
Yeah.
It was amazing, actually.
What ended up happening, well, the night was great.
My buddy Chris and I met up, had something to eat and I went to Theo's show at the Wiltern.
He had two shows.
I went and did 15 or, no, I did 20 minutes before Theo.
And it was awesome.
It was me, Larabites, and Frank Castillo.
Yeah, like Frank.
They did great. I went up. I got a great 20. I did I haven't have a really fun 20 minutes. It was great
Gave a hug to Theo and then we jetted over to the palace and I had a great time downtown
I'm amazing. It was amazing to see LA come out for LA which was hard because I complained the whole time about Netflix
fucking Netflix a
Thousand shows in one night the same night we performed. Yeah me and Theo down both close to each other
Fluffy was at the fucking Dodger Stadium. My god. Malani was at the Hollywood Bowl. My god
a
Schumer was supposed to be doing a show, but she canceled because she got COVID Amy Poehler and Tina Fey were doing a fucking
Reading a tape like a table read thing together. Yeah, J. Fair. It was like 40 fucking comics
So thank I'm thankful for the people that came to my show. There's millions of people that live in LA though
I know man, but there's but there's not million. They're not all comedy fans
Yeah, so the comedy fans that came I'm very appreciative of you think like the fluffy fans were making it just hey, bro
It was between me for which one you want to go to bro? Fluffy or I don't know dog. I think between
Between Santino and Iglesias. Yeah. Yeah, maybe Santino away. No, by the way
I did have mostly Mexicans there because I asked how many Mexicans are there and they went not he knows
He was that he saw how many I mean, dude
It was like 80% Mexican which made me so happy and then there was about 10% Chinese
Asians or Chinese we have I specifically said Chinese. I said how where my Chinese people at? Yeah, and I heard about 30 people
About Korean. Did you know where my Korean people at but they heard that the Chinese I didn't say a word
I was in the audience. They were nervous. I was like, well cuz the Chinese were there looking at him
Don't you dare amazing? No, it was really really fun. And now I'm almost done. So I'm really glad I was there
You know what I did Saturday? I did the main room in front of ten people. So
Well, why would you do a show on the weekend with the Netflix thing? I?
Just did our Netflix show by the way at the our bad friends. I should say show it had nothing to do with Netflix
What do you mean? I like they just put their name on it
They put a box
Somebody showed up put a box on stage and then left put a Netflix box
Yeah, a crew a guy who build stuff put a box together throw it up and then went home
Yeah, Netflix had fucking literally nothing to do with it
And I'm here to tell you cancel your Netflix subscription. Why just cancel it. No cancel it. I'm pro Netflix man. Oh
You oh really? Yeah. Oh really? Yeah, I am me too. Let's be pro. Let's be pro Netflix you guys
Subscribe subscribe to that place. They need the help
They could use a boost, huh? It was a fun show our show our show was good. The problem was I
Have a bone to pick with you
I would I mean I could I just say this can I fucking let me pick the bone
My bones are there to be picked bud raise your arms. Right. I'm roadkill your fucking vulture, right?
Right go ahead vulture before I do yeah, right. I've just been having a tough week
Fuck off. I'll be gone. Okay
The bone to pick that I've always had with Bobby and we've talked about this
When we do a show together or when you do is your show the Bobby Lee and friends or when we do bad friends
Bobby and I should go at the end
But instead Bobby goes in the middle of the fucking show in the sweetest of sweet spots
They're here to see us you get off and then you bring up two more comics and then I have to close the show
George is nodding cuz he knows it's insane. Yeah, but I asked you don't close it
You can go up anywhere you want. No, dude. It's our show. We should close the show
That's one of the worst things he did. What was the worst thing I did you tell doc after the show is over
Oh my god, back and do 30 minutes. You know, you know, he went out and did time. You know that, right?
Yeah, yeah doc went out and did like 20 20 more after ever after this was perfect because it got us to be able to escape
I know but the poor bastard he goes out there. Yeah, he's like, oh man, but hey man
Come on bad friends. Let's stay and people were getting up and they were like fuck dude
Should I have to do I have to stay you know what you know
How like at the end of a movie after the credit roll somebody has told you that there might be an extra piece of the movie
Yeah, yeah, that's what it was
It was like a Marvel movie because when I saw a doctor strange
We waited to the very end of the credits and the clip wasn't worth it was it was not that's how they felt when I saw
Doc especially the Batman at one. Yeah, but that one. Yes, it's a question mark stupid stupid so dumb
Yeah, but that's what we did. We put a question mark
So we're walking out you guys all left early so you didn't want to get mobbed
We're walking out with Esther and doc is just getting in the groove. Yeah, and I like he was on fire in his head
Did he get laughs? No, were you there? Everybody was confused
They sat down again. Yeah, they had no idea what was going on. Yeah. Yeah, I just I love doc a little blood-backed man
Blood-backed man. I love him
He doesn't
Get it
Well, no, but here's what happened. He just told us I told us race
The show is over you got to get him off stage go so Andres runs up and I'm scared that I'm gonna get yelled at by
Doc for taking a stage time Andres comes out like tells doc hey show shows over guys
You can all go home and doc like comes out. He was like
Thank you Bobby told me to do another 30 minutes. I was starting. I was about to start a big bit. You were joking
He believed you you can't he's like a child. You can't joke with it. I was kidding around. Why would I think that?
Because he believes that kind of stuff
But can I just say this though
He did great by the he did great, but I want to say this though
He did five minutes right to open the show, right? Yeah, I paid him 400 bucks to do the show, right 30 minutes
I
Understand five minutes for $400 is crazy. It's a little much. It's a little much. It's a little much. Yeah, so but also
He we need we need to get him off of Amazon his contract is up his contracts up
Also, did you also see this so when we did the question and answers at the end of the that show, right?
A girl comes up to the thing and she obviously is hitting on doc. Yeah, right?
She's just like so you're saying you know, so what kind of girls do you like?
I mean, it's just kind of go look at me. Look at my body
I don't know what was the spot. Oh God. No type. Yeah. Yeah, I don't got no type
But that was a clear. Do you want to fuck me? Do you want to fuck? Yeah, right? He did not read it
No, cuz he doesn't want to fuck. I'm not focusing on these holes
Can I say a theory go ahead and he can defend himself what next time he's here or not, you know, I just think that
Let me still
You know
Do you think that, you know, if a bunch of your uncles were slaughtered because they were gay?
You know from the gays, right awful. Do you think that's a terrible thing? And I'm so very
Traumatized by it all. Yeah, you know, I think about it all the time. You do you think about it daily you text me
I do I do and is that hereditary it is there there is partial scientific evidence to prove that it might be hereditary
But in my opinion, I would think if enough people in your family were gay, you'd feel left out
Right, you think it's peer pressure. You think it's condition might start sucking just to fit in yeah, right
I mean, look at you go to Thanksgiving and all your uncles are like and then we went to the manhole and we were
Manholes amazing and so they're bragging about it and you're sitting there with your green beans and you don't know how to, you know
Oh green beans
What do you mean green beans? No, I'm saying you're
Thanksgiving dinner
Thanksgiving dinner, I said you're sitting. Oh, I didn't hear the thing
Oh, I see you're at a holiday dinner and you're fucking everyone's bragging about dick and you might want to throw your hat in the ring
Right or toss your cock ring in the butthole. You might want to have a little bit of validity to and go, you know, I'm
Also, I suck at dick, too
You know, you might feel like you fit in
Family gatherings are tough as that as it is because when the girl was obviously hitting on him on the show
He had no interest. Yeah, she was actually very cute. Yeah, he was eyeing some other dude in the audience right behind
Yeah, he's a lot more tight behind you
What is this? There is no gay gene. There is no straight gene
Okay, so then it's true and not true at the exact same right human sexual orientation
Has a heritable component. Ah, there's a component that you can inherit
Yeah, and we're not like, you know, I think it's a great thing. You know, I mean, I I'm just like
Here's what I don't like because of like we know a lot of comics that aren't out
Yes, right. And there's like this we suspect
Yeah, I mean, well, we know but yeah, we know but we can't there's no
It's not it's not it's not our business to tell right but the whole idea that they can't
Say it because it's a sort of social or the business and the business is very
It's it's it's not a good thing. I hate that well because the business if you're gay
The business says you got to be fucking gay
You can't like suck dick and throw a football. They don't like that. Yeah. Yeah, you one or the other to them
If that's why the business is full of shit. They're like, we want diversity. No, they don't they want their version
They want a gay guy that's like, yes queen
They don't want
They don't want a guy who's like, I just like to
Fuck and fuck dudes because I'm gay, but I'm also I don't always have to we don't all have to sound like that
Yeah, it's like if um, have you ever seen the show? Um
uh, the other
Oh my god, the other two or I mean, yeah, the other two it's all it's fucking awesome. Molly Shannon plays his mom
Yeah, it's such a good show if you haven't seen the show go watch it. It's on HBO
Drew plays a struggling actor and him and his sister Helen of York
I think is her name and their younger their younger brother this kid case walker is like a huge star
a huge star and they're and they're in the background, but drew plays
very much a young gay man
who's trying to maneuver through hollywood and
You know not get lost in justice sexuality where he doesn't want them to just just promote him as just a gay actor
Right, it's very true to form. It's wonderful. I think it's wonderfully written. It's beautifully done. It's I think Sarah Schaefer wrote. I think uh
The writer two writers from SNL the head writers from SNL wrote it. I think Sarah Schaefer maybe is the
Writers of it. Look who wrote it there. What does it say writers?
Um, oh, yeah, Chris Kelly and Sarah Schaefer right from SNL
And it's just cleverly done in a way that's like this is what the industry does they take somebody and if you're gay
They're like you gotta gay it up a little bit
You're right and he on the show is like I can't why can't I just read it as me and they're like
Could you be a little bit more gay and he plays with that world on the show?
Because most gay people that I know aren't flamboyant in that way
Well, I mean, there's some that all yeah, but it's just like who cares though and at the same time
No, I don't care. It's just like it's not the stereotype that's on tv is so fucking fake
Yeah, every gay person or every gay man is a yaskway
Yeah, not every guy's like that. Just like not every guy's a big bad bully, bro
Hey fucking the fuck chicks. There's a lot of guys like you
They're very sensitive. What soft. What do you mean? Well, you're not a guy's guy
I'm still a guy guy. You're not a guy's guy. I got guy all the time. You're not a guy's guy
I I'm I shave I don't shave
Shave what hair you don't have hair to shave on your face. I know but I'm growing it out like a man
Yeah, you put that beard. Yeah, it just takes a while. You put that mustache on 15 years ago and then 43 years ago
That was prickly. No, you're not a guy's guy
But let's get because I feel like I am but let's let's talk about that for a second because I need to explore this
You're not
Raise your hand if you think Bobby's a guy's guy
One for four guy guy one for four what one for four one for four
Yeah, but these guys have resentments toward me and they have something again
These guys are in love with you. Okay. So let's prove that I'm a guy guy. Okay. What do guy guys do that?
I don't do sports of any sports. You can't play anything. I love ping-pong not a sport
Okay, I love, um
soccer
I know but you don't play it
Really do you play football? Sure. I've I've kicked a ball around
That's not what football is the soccer though American football. All right. Okay. So real football. I do like sports
I like MMA a lot
Okay, I watch it all the time. So that makes me a guy
No, no, that doesn't make you a guy right women women like MMA too
Making you a guy's guy means you're a kind of guy that
men
Feel a masculine vibe from and they want to hang out with but do you think you're reading my size?
And that also goes into it right most little men are like doc doc is doc doc a guy's guy. Yeah
Dock doc black magic is a guy's guy. I'm not this is no no no doc is a guy's pal
Not a guy's guy right and my guy's pal pal. You're a guy's pal. All right. So he's not a guy's guy
He's not a guy guy, right? You're a guy pal, right? So we're both guys pals, right? You are is andreas a guy's guy
No
Right. He's a guy's pal. George is actually a guy's guy. George is a guy's guy. He is why because he raises chickens
Well, yes, he's very he's very like
Like George can camp he can set up a tent like George has manly skills that make him a guy's guy
Just because he's not you don't have to be in a sports to be a guy George and George does like sports
But George has guy guy things he can do masculine
Manly bullshit like the other day I bought this. Um, I think I know what you're saying
So I went when I was in Oklahoma. I bought this time out real fast. You're a guy's guy. You're a guy's pal
He's a guy's pal
Fancy's a guy's gal. Oh, you're a guy's gal. I get it. Now you understand now
It's very clear to me guys guys. You definitely are the guys guy pal gal pal. Yeah, I gal. I mean, look at how he's sitting
That's a guy. That's a guy's gal. Yeah, guy. Yeah, the way he says or you said it. That's a gal pal
Yeah, he's fancy as a gal pal a gal pal
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So when I was in Oklahoma, I bought a thing I went to this um native american expedition and I bought like
A thing where you put on the wall and you and you put your keys on it, right and some guy had a dream catcher
I think I explained it wrong. Do you put keys on there that you wish of cars that you had?
And
In the back of it, there's no like way of like there's no hook or anything, right?
So I just put it against the wall just slides off and I don't know how to do it, right?
Right, so I looked at george and I go. Hey, can you do this for me?
And the other day he brought screws and a little thing and he started doing it guys guys. Yeah, you never hung it up yet
Um, I didn't want to get in trouble doing something to your wall
So I was hoping you would put a few nails into the wall. Oh, you want me? Oh, yeah, I can do that
By the way a conscious guys guy
He doesn't want to fuck shit up. He can help you, but he doesn't want to ruin it
I'll put a hole right in your wall and not think about it. All right. Okay. That's a guy. I'm a neanderthal guys
I'm not he's advanced. Yeah, I'm just like
That's I want to break it and I'll fix it later
All right, so then you know what? I think now I'm leaning more toward, you know, I mean a guys pal
You're a guys pal. Yeah. Yeah guys guys guys pal guys gal. Yeah, or a gal pal
Now having sex, right? Does that affect the way you make love?
Absolutely
So do you do this like I lock eyes. You don't lock eyes
Um, I always well, I don't
I what do I do? Well
No, no, I can't look into your eyes. All right. I I'm a eye locker. You just eye lock. Yeah, it's creepy
Right. I'm closed eyes most of the time. Yeah. Yeah, like when I'm eating her out
I we lock I have look at me. How did you you look she looks she's staring right now? Yeah, she's always going
No, no, stop stop stop
But you but guys guys pals like you are more are more sensitive love makers. That's right. Yes. Yeah. Yeah, I do thigh work
Me you do thigh work. George and I are ground and pound. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I do thigh
I do finger four leg lock and I've got
All right, and I'm your naked choke. I'm drill. I'm just
I'm drilling. Yeah
All right, you're painting and maybe you'll find like an iron ore or something and sometimes you do get something good
Yeah, yeah, you are painting strokes smooth smooth and soft. Yeah, yeah, George and I are jackhammer
All right, right, but can I just say this and Andres when he has sex he sings
Ah
You sing
He just sings in Spanish when he makes love or a little creepier. He does what the riddler does and he sings ave Maria
Yeah
And they're just like and you wear that little green mask that you got at the army surplus store
Right not by the way not to step on toes or infringe on people's privacy, but I gotta tell you
Yeah, fancy's wife came along this weekend to say hi and I want to say this
She is
Fucking beautiful. She is beautiful. She you have a stunningly beautiful wife. Yeah
It is really it's and she's sweet and she's smart and she's cool and she's successful
And I keep going. Why does she fuck fancy? And I know that's a cheap joke, but honestly after this morning right now
Of course, she wants to fuck a gal pal
Yeah, she wants a fucking guys gal. Yeah, she wants a gal pal because he's sensitive. He's sweet. He's loving
He's carrying. He's hard-working. He's intelligent. Yeah, she wants a guy's pal. She wants a guy's pal. She wants a guy's pal
You want a gal's pal? No, no, no, she is that what it is. You're a guy's pal. I'm a guy's pal
She would never fuck you. I she wants a guy's gal
I get it which is fancy. I understand a gal pal. I understand. Can I just say something too?
I think I saw a clip that really I had to turn it off because it kind of
It put a chill down my spine and it made me shiver
Right in a wrong in the bad way in a bad way negative shiver in negative shiver and what it was and I think I saw it
Correctly. I'm not sure. It was at your show
Were you in the audience?
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Was there any point where you stood up
Faced the audience and did a wave and got like a cheer. Yes. Yeah, that was the grossest thing
Are you mad at me? No, not you
It was literally the grossest thing he invited me stop stop stop. All right. Let him tap. Let me have it. Okay
It's the grossest thing I had ever witnessed in a live show in my life
Buddy, it's not a bad friends event. It's his own show number two, right?
You're just soaking up love and it makes me so sad for you
Right now. How did that feel defend yourself fans?
I was recording the event
He was he was working the event and I was actually behind the curtains
Well, you know and then Andrew said hey come here fancy. So I just like poke my head. I don't I never said
I don't think you did that. Why would you do that on your own show? I went like this. I went like this
fancy go back go back and he goes come on the stage
Also, come here. Look everybody give it up for fancy B. The fancy
Oh my god, get off my stage
It's insane
They love fancy so much. That was that's what I felt. That was him. Yeah
Um, because you know what the power of this show and the fame of the the success of this show
Yeah, which we're very appreciative of for the fans. It's gone to some of these guys heads
I I didn't want to say it out loud, but I believe that's I'll say it. Yeah, it's definitely gone to fancy's head
Carlos now, I mean he he's gotten a little out of control because he's on a car
I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know
Because he's on a couple, right? He does this sometimes, but he does trash Tuesdays a lot, right?
So he's soaking in a lot of like little side fame. You know, here's how that's his vibe, dude
Let's look at Clark Kent
Okay, so if Superman can somehow
Touch his friends and give them a little bit of his power. Oh, yeah, right
Because he doesn't show off to fly. He only does it when there's an emergency. Oh the sky a skyscraper is falling
I gotta fly up, right? Have to save it. But these guys let's say these guys were Superman's friends
They would be all day long just kind of going a hundred feet off the ground
On the street and just telling people like what I got. That's what it is. You know, man
Look what I can do. If you could put a little laser out of their eyes
Right and burn like
I could see this they're bringing all the neighborhood people out, right and putting a fucking like aluminum can on like a you know
I mean, you're right
Doing it and people going. Yeah, right. That's what they're doing. Yeah, it just pops a little bit. It's so
Fucking sad. But can I tell you something? What?
Who's Superman in this whole thing?
Because he's really to blame
You it's you
What? You're Superman. Thank you. You're Superman. I Superman. Yes. Yeah, you are. I'm Harvey Dent
Oh, no, I don't believe that
I know that's I know it's a different movie, but it's a completely different
Different movie. Yeah, that's that's why I didn't equate. I just meant one side of my face is nicer than the other
Yeah, you think there's a do I know, you know what I can say you are like Harvey Dent
I think there's a duality. Yeah, and obviously you're a very sweet guy
But then you sometimes scream. Yeah, sometimes I lose it you lose it and I you know, that's the Harvey Dent side
I have very I'm very dent-esque qualities. I mean, that's the uh, you know, I don't what's the name of that actor Aaron
Aaron Eckhart, man, I fucking love that guy. He's a great actor. Thank you for smoking
Yeah, that was amazing. God Aaron Brockford. This guy made a million fucking hits, by the way
Look at how many hits he's made. London has fallen. Yeah
He did one that was really bad. I Frankenstein
Did he do that? Oh, wow, that is a bad fucking terrible at least he gets a chance to do big fucking bad movies
I want to do a big bad movie. I want to be in a huge
failure
I want to be in a huge fucking failure. You do. I think there's something beautiful about that
Yeah, but if you stop getting into those situations, you get a bunch before that and then you do one big bad one
And then they don't talk to you for a long time, which I think is kind of a beautiful thing
Yeah, who's another who's somebody that had that going like a ton of shit went right and then one thing went wrong
Yeah, but the rule thing that went wrong was really wrong. Look at Kim basingers career
Kim basinger was supposed to be the next greatest actress
Yeah, I have a I have a what movie did she do that?
Well, let's see. I'm just gonna find out because she fell deep down the rabbit
I know somebody that kind of like had to shift was uh, Halle Berry
Catwoman. Oh, that was bad for her. Yeah, that was bad for her, but she but she's so cool and beautiful
No, she's in moonfall
Yeah, she's in moonfall. That's good. Is it better to burn out or to fade away?
Oh, wow, is it easy? I don't think the same thing
No, what the fuck do we burn out and fade away? They're both bad
Do you not know this song? No, no
Better to burn out than to fade away
My my
There it is, right. So who knows this song. Do you know what I'm sorry, but I want to know the difference between Neil Young
I want to know the difference between I'm so sorry
Burning out and fading away burning out. I'll give you okay. I'll give you a fading away fading away is what would be
Go ahead Andres you want to make an analogy?
Who's an actor that's faded away
Like came back basting came basing or basically faded away. Who's an actor that burnt out fancy?
Will Smith
No, no
I'd go Robert De Niro faded away because he stopped doing like real roles
Yeah, that's true. That is very fucked. That is so sad and so true because he started doing bad shit
Like lame shit because he didn't want to have to act anymore, right?
He wanted to do like fucking the the fucker not the fuckers, uh, rocking bullwinkle when he did that
I was like, what the fuck is going on? He faded away now who burnt out, but can I just Johnny Depp?
Johnny Depp burnt the fuck out
He went out and he's going out in flames
I don't think so. I think there's gonna be a he'll never come back from this
Those people both of them are like are gonna be fucking
I disagree. I'll bet you my bank account neither of them will work again
What is work again? Okay, now that they won't be movie stars ever again
So what you're saying to me is I'm gonna be I'm not gonna sit in the theater
You're not gonna see Johnny Depp in a blockbuster film. You'll see him in any indie movies. Maybe. Yeah. Yeah
It's like it's like James Franco Franco is never gonna work again, but he'll work
Do you know what I mean?
They're never gonna make him a movie star again
Right because of all that shit, but he is gonna do he'll work
But he'll never be a he'll never be in blockbusters like he used to be
Hmm. No unless he does an indie movie that becomes a blockbuster
I know, but I think I love when that happens
But that'll only happen if but the industry the indie market is so fickle that I think they wouldn't let it go through
Do you know what I mean? Nicholas Cage, you know, that's someone Nicholas Cage, but he's trying to come back
He is coming through the movie round. Yeah, that movie helped him. It's not just that he did Mandy
He did a bunch of like smaller really smaller movies that were really good
Mandy was so good, right? So I think that he is coming back
He's trying but he but he has a chance to because he hasn't done anything fucking egregious
Right
These other guys are getting clicked. So they're doing fucked up shit and then they're like, well, we can't let you back
Hmm. That's what happens
Like they he's burning out. I I think it's better to fade away
Than to burn out. I think burnout always looks bad
Yeah, the Neil Young was saying you should burn out. He says it's better to burn out than to fade away
I don't know if that's true
What do you want?
I want to fade away
Yeah, I want to say goodbye and good night
But either way though, what does it mean? It's like if I burned out, right?
Let's suppose I burned out and I burned out with money
Like, you know, who's burnt out who but and but it's it's more tragic like Britney Spears burned out
You know what I mean? It's like sad and it's weird now
And now it's like, you know who's about to burn out. I sent you that article
Fuckin Madonna if she keeps whatever up. She's doing she's about to burn out
She's gotten weirder and we're fucking like parting with Drake and Julia Fox. You're like, what do you what?
Madonna reveals fully nude nfts and a shocking 3d model of her vagina
Yeah, that's weird. It's just getting in a weird zone. Yeah, she's been a star for so many decades
That's the problem. So you got to slowly fade away. You don't need this anymore. You don't need the money
You don't need the attention. That's fucking hot as shit. That's hot as shit. Look at that
It's like that of a tree
I see it's growing out of her pussy. I was right. You're right
My bad
Always pushing against the resistance of the earth
So that I won't this is beautiful this video, by the way, this is so so it's just burning out here, baby
It's always pushed the boundaries
The bark saw off my branches
Chop me down
Burn me to the ground
They will never destroy my essence
Don't take my glory
Nor extinguish my soul
Can you go whoa, that's a dope loop pause to the vagina part that it's blurry. They blurred it on purpose
Oh, they did. Did you see that loop how incredible that was it went back to a flower that turned into a vagina again? I'm buying it
Yeah, we're scroll down. I'm gonna buy this nft. I want to buy it
It's actually a beautiful poem that she wrote to go along with it. Yeah
My issue inherently is
Oh, it's with people
Who people who the biggest he's the the biggest nft guy or like he started as a digital artist that was huge and then
Jumped in that video. It's incredible. I'm gonna give her a lot of props. That was fucking awesome. I just think sometimes she's oh
Now butterflies come out of her puss too. Yeah. Yeah
See, this is what happens if you have a double vagina a kid comes out of one a tree grows out of the other one
Yeah
If you if you met a girl and she spread her legs and butterflies came out. What would you do?
I'd save some of them
I know, but would you what I continue on?
I don't know what could can butterflies hurt your penis
I can't imagine they would nibble. Do they have teeth?
They are you right. I don't know. I don't think they do do butterflies have teeth. I don't I don't think they do
Yeah, but I think they would just flutter on your pink. Maybe it'd be add to the vibration
Maybe or one would just land on the tip, right? Just one on the tip
Just one on the tip butterflies don't have teeth. They do have probisks
A probisks is basically an elongated snout that's straightened by hydrosatic pressure
Allowing them to drink the nectar from the two black flowers. They could drink out of the tip of your penis, bob
Right, they would die instantly. So
They would die instantly and then they shrivel up. I think it'd be harmless
There's a fucking meme or there's a there's a trend on the internet going around about young people on
On tiktok and stuff that didn't know that
Madonna's like a prayer was about a blowjob
It was
Are you fucking joking? No
Wait, look at the lyrics for like a prayer. What do you mean?
Just look up lyrics for like a prayer. What what I thought it was about Jesus and the praying
Well sex and God and all these things are kind of intertwined the poem. She just did with that tree zoom in and look at this
When you call my name, it's like a little prayer
I'm down on my knees. I want to take you there in the midnight hour. I can feel your power. Yeah, that's God
What yeah, you're getting on your knees. You're in church, right at the middle of night
That's when God comes to you what God comes for sure
You know what God comes to you at night and and he comes and let's read the lyrics. I close my eyes. That's how I pray
Oh my god, I'm thinking I'm falling. That's how I feel. That's how I feel when I'm coming
I feel like I'm falling. No, I feel like my life is falling apart and I'm falling
Well, this is a personal thing right now for you, right? So, um,
Out of the sky you call my name is like a little prayer. I'm down on my knees
I want to take you there. Where would you want to take God to?
I'm down on my knees. I want to take you there to take you there to my pain. No
Yeah
But see it you're reading between the lines here. That's what music is bitch
Music is all about missing is about interpret. You whisper softly to me. That's how God doesn't yell
Yes, hey cut it out. Yeah. Yeah. No, he's like cut it out. No, no, no. God's a yeller. Oh, yeah
You're in control. You're right. You're in control just like a child now. I'm dancing. It's like a dream
No, and no beginning you're here with me. It's like a dream. Let the choir sing you call my name
It's like a bra. I'm down on my knees. Come on the midnight hour. I can feel your power
This is about
giving head
Yeah, I don't read that one or getting or getting head. It could be her getting head. Okay
About papa don't preach that
It's about fucking her dad
Buffy the greatest thing that you've ever done for me. Andrew of all time
Is doing the show with you. I know that and but the second greatest thing is you got me a buffy comforter
I did and to right now the but that buffy comforter is on my main master bedroom
And here's why I like buffy comforters. Why genuinely, okay? It's about to be hot
It's starting to get hot in la bingo. Buffy comforters. Don't get you sweaty. Okay. They stay super soft and super cool
Technology, it's like cool like last night. It was hot. Yeah, and the buffy comforter was cool
It's so you know, sometimes you have to flip your pillow right to get the cool side
The puffy comforter is always cool. It's always cool, baby. You don't have to flip it. It's softer than cotton
It's naturally soothes your skin. It's sustainable. Eucalyptus uses 10 times less water than cotton to grow and its fiber is produced by recyclable earth friendly
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It's hypoallergenic just like bobby, which means you won't sneeze
Plus its high thread count shuts out dust mold might for a healthier sleeping environment
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Papa papa
I know you're gonna be upset. All right. There you go
Because I was always your little girl, but you should know my now. I'm not a baby. Oh, she's saying I have hair down there
Is that what she's saying? She's hitting on her dad, right?
Dad, I have hair down there. You always tell me right from wrong. I need your help. Please be strong
I may be young at heart, but you know what I'm saying. What are you saying?
Are you saying daughter all of all of her stuff is sexualized?
Well, like I'm the dad and say that to me the way the lyrics are and I'm the dad
You want me to sing them to you? Yeah, it's like I'm home from school
Well, maybe she's from college papa. I know you're gonna be upset because I was always your little girl
What?
Wait, wait, wait. How was school? Well, you should know by now
I'm not a baby
This sounds like the intro to a porn movie. Right. This is like a step porn movie and you hear it
Daddy, please be strong. Yeah. Yeah. I hate the word daddy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I hate it. I hate it
Does Kyle ever call you daddy? You don't do that sex stuff daddy. She calls me a papa. That's cute. That's endearing
That's endearing. Yeah, but not daddy. You know whose wife calls him daddy
I know when she was when she was ready to go. She goes daddy. We have to go home now. Oh my god
Yeah, and he goes shut your mouth Andrew and he didn't want me to talk about I didn't want to talk about
No, you know what he does when he gets home and I and this is not even a joke. I really believe this
Um, you put on a black leather
right
Velvet velvet like a gim a gim and a no the mask has only a zipper here, right?
And you get into a wooden fucking, you know, I mean cabinet or something, right?
And you go good night
And she closes it. She locks it
Right, and that's how you sleep. That's how you sleep. Nothing sexual about it, but that's just comfort for him
Do you do that? Yeah, how do you know?
I have a feeling I just have a feeling that Andres is the one in the relationship that wears lingerie
Yeah, you know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He feels like he wants to be pretty
Yeah, what is it when the girl fucks him with the dildo pegging? She pegs you. Oh, yeah, right? It's look
Personal you don't disclose this. You don't we disclose it. You don't have to we're doing it for you
And then you look at the dildo and you go
USA
That was part of becoming a citizen. Yeah, you can only use dildos made in usa
Or china because that's you know
Can I say something every dildos made in china? I also want to just ask you a personal question if you don't mind, right?
He definitely minds. Yeah, um
You don't seem like somebody that is an aggressive aggressor
Right in terms of like who made the first move when it comes to boinking back in the day when you first dated her
I did. Do you believe that? No, I guess I don't either. Yeah. Are you excited to go back to?
Oklahoma to film. I'm not going back. Wait. Where are you leaving to florida?
Why what's in florida? I'm doing will sassos movie
Oh, wow, just a couple of scenes. Is it something he wrote? No
Companies, I don't know. He's in it. Yeah, he's in it. He's the star of it and they asked me to be
In a couple of scenes. That's awesome. Yes. I'm just gonna go do that back to the old mad tv days you and the sass
Yeah, and I just worked with Ike and uh
Nicole and those guys for history of the world curl wasn't on bad mad tv. Was he no, but he was there
He was around. He's like
Producing it or something
history with mel brooks. Is it a remake?
Unless that they're doing the second part
I love there, you know
Well, the real whole reason why I did it was because I thought I'm gonna meet mel brooks, but I guess he's not he doesn't come
He does everything through zoom because of coven and stuff. He's a old man. He's a hundred
Isn't he the oldest man in the world the 2,000 year old man a 2,000 year old man? Yeah
George because mel brooks is somebody somebody I grew up with 95. Yeah, like he's insane
He's not 80. That's not that's insane because you know as a kid even I remember watching space balls or like, you know
Blazing saddles and young frank and young frank. Oh my god. One of the greatest movies of all time into the comedy
That movie is so fucking funny. His bloodline is incredible. What do you mean? Albert brooks? Oh, yeah, that's his son
Are you joking? No, albert brooks is mel brooks's son
What planet am I living in? I did not know I honestly I did not know. Wait, I don't believe you
I don't believe you. I don't believe you somebody look at my son
I don't believe you
I will say isn't isn't uh
Super dave osborne was name. His name was bob einstein. He was albert brooks's brother. Isn't that true? Isn't that crazy?
Albert brooks is bob einstein
Aka super dave osborne rest in peace. He's his brother
He was so good. He had the best joke
albert brooks's dad is
Number one and also
The movie mother has nothing to do with this. Well, anyway, yeah, yeah, I fucked it all up
Super dave osborne by the way has the best joke go to youtube if you want a good laugh
Super dave osborne told a joke to seinfeld and larry david on the set of um
curb do super dave osborne curb joke
And I got to tell you
Maybe one of the funniest jokes i've ever seen live and you can tell that neither of them know it was coming
That's it right there marty funkhauser
Watch this bob. You have to watch this clip
Jerry marty funkhauser. Hey marty. How you doing? How you doing? Good want to hear a joke?
He doesn't want to hear a joke. We got a read through. Yeah, we gotta just get right through it
Okay, a woman's very afraid of the size of her opening. What is she afraid of the size of her opening?
So she goes to her mother. She says what am I gonna do? I'm so big down there when I marry harry
He's gonna divorce me
Her mother says don't worry sweetheart. It runs in the family do what I did when I married your father
Go to the market get some raw liver put it in there. I'll never know the difference. Oh my god
So she does they have eight hours of sex after their marriage
She wakes up at 10 o'clock. He's gone. But there's a note on her pillow
Says my darling harry it to think that I waited a year to consummate our love relationship makes my heart beat so
A lot of them surprised didn't wake you up
The only reason I'm not here now darling is I'm at work to make enough money to buy you a house
A picket fence will have dogs and children. Oh, this is not so bad. Oh, yeah, this is great. Will you finish the fucking joke?
Okay, when the five o'clock dinner bell rings, I will be home like the winged gossamer of your loving your arms
Your loving husband harry. That's nice. P.S. Your c**t is in the sink
From what I've heard Seinfeld didn't know the joke was coming. Yeah. Yeah, so just rewind just I want to see his
Response or just a second back when he says it watch watch Seinfeld's face. Yeah
I want to see this dinner bell rings. I will be home like the winged gossamer of your loving your arms your loving husband harry
That's nice. P.S. Your c**t is in the sink
Okay, you told the joke. Let's go. I'm good at that. Oh, he surprised me
He really thought he was funny, I think rest in peace. Yeah. Yeah fucking Bob Einstein. He died. Yeah, super day passed away. How?
I don't remember. I remember it was it was only like a year or two ago, right? Wow. He died. Yeah, super day click on super day
George, please. Yeah, I don't remember how he passed away
And he wasn't an old she was he was a young man
Um, he was 76. Yeah, it's quite that's so young relatively. I guess yeah. Oh cancer. Yeah, fuck cancer gets you out. It gets you
My buddy my buddy's going to see his a family member that's got cancer today
and it's uh
That's it. I feel comedy coming
I feel a joke coming
The joke is no so whose friends it has cancer
No, my buddy's uncle and he's going to see him today. I felt terrible for him because they got like, you know
They get the end diagnosis if I if I told you yeah, it made me think genuinely
If the doctor says Bobby you you got four months to live
And I'm not and there this is it. Yes. What are you doing for four months?
You're gonna quit the podcast. Oh, yeah, you'd quit
Fuck yeah
No, there's just too much to do. I there's just too much to do but we could we could we could we could
Chronicle your cancer and your death. I got the before that I have to get this golden clock and start to valley
Right, that's the first thing that's literally the first thing is I gotta get because I'm at four million dollars now
Right and it costs 10 million dollars because I already bought the obelisks and I bought the fucking um
The little staff that gets you returns home, right? So I'm like I'm I'm like a week away from getting the fucking golden clock
So that's the first thing I did you're right there. I'm right there, right?
Would you would you quit tiger tiger belly? Oh, yeah. Yeah. They're all gone. There's too much to do man
I'll get the second thing is is that I would call Bethesda as the golden clock Maryland. Yeah
Bethesda, yeah, I think they are in Maryland
But there is a city called Maryland, but Bethesda softworks and I go can I get an early audition of starfield?
They're the game that's coming out in November an early edition
Yeah, because I'm sure they're working out the kinks, but I got kinks with all the kinks
I don't care because I'm dying in four months. I gotta play it. I've been waiting 15 years for this fucking game
Is kinks a racial epithet?
What I don't know they used to call that to me in high school
But I was I was waved when they called me that good. What's up? You fucking kink. Yeah, yeah
So you want that so you want the golden clock?
So what else would I want you want to get the stardew valley Bethesda asked if they can give you the early release
What else are you gonna do four months, man? And then the real stuff I would do that, but I'm not being real
But also I would make some amends
Not all right, and then I would also do this. There's a guy that you can hire
To speak on your behalf at your funeral
So there's a guy that you can hire so this guy you hire and he'll say stuff like
Uh, yeah, so ted died, but he wants your wife amanda. He's been he's been seeing somebody else for the last 10 years
Or this guy will say stuff like yeah, frank. He was gay
Right, right. He didn't want to come out when I was alive. What's this man called?
What I don't know what his name is the truth spitter
I I don't know, but I would hire him to say certain things to people. Yeah. Yeah while you're alive or wait
No, I'm dead. Yeah, so we have to get together with that guy and go all right
So I want you to say this to kevin, right you have to say this to kevin
And but kevin won't go to your funeral, but I want to make sure he goes. I like that. Yeah. Yeah, you have to say this to dr
Ken
You have to say this to andrew. Yeah, right up to me. Yeah, yeah
Yeah, there's just certain things that he needs to say to people that I can't say
You know what I mean while I'm alive. What is it for me that I love you? Is that what you can't say to me?
um
It was okay
Have you know, I would I wouldn't hire them to do that
Now I would say all the things that I was going to say to you. I would say to your face
Yeah, I would hope so there would be some letters, right and then there were some be some stuff
I would want to say after I'm dead
and then um
Are you taking any trips four months? You're about to die. You're not gonna go where am I gonna go?
I'm gonna be dead there too. I mean, I'm dead. I'm no, but I'm jumping on a private jet to go where all the places I haven't been
Yeah, but for me, I've never been everywhere, but I've been to every environment
I would jump on a private jet spend 24 hours in a bunch of different places and just keep jettin around
I would waste all my money on private. What I'm saying is what's the difference between toloom and hawaii if they're all tropical
So why would you want? I haven't been to toloom, but I've been to hawaii. Who gives a fuck, right?
I think toloom and hawaii are completely different places. I know in terms of in terms of in in the
Temperature temperature climate. Okay. There's way more than just temperature
All right, so there's palm trees in hawaii and toloom. What else is different except for mexicans culture food
What do you mean? But like the hotel room is what bobby's saying, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, the four seasons is the four seasons everywhere. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. Yeah, that's insane. Yeah, right. So I've been to um
Um, cold places like I've never been to Antarctica, but like why would I want to go there? Why not? I've been to canada
Same place. Yeah. Yeah. It's the feeling is a little bit more south a little bit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All right
So you're not taking trips right not gonna trips. What else are you gonna go try anything?
Like you're gonna jump out of an airplane or bungee jump or do something you've never done before
No, because I'm gonna be in heaven. I'm gonna do that there
You don't have bungee jumping anymore and heaven after the accident
Oh, really they had to stop doing it
You would think there would be like you either have a little fucking bungee attached to a cloud one guy fucks up
It ruins it for everybody. Ah
He went all the way down to hell. Mm-hmm, right, right. It snapped pull me back up
I just couldn't
Yeah, so then um, what else would I do? Um, a lot of Rick real amends like I'm sorry that I did that
Yeah, but what about for you? What about what don't you want to feel some gratification for would you use again?
You'd probably relapse. No, I would you wouldn't no. I want to see god sober
Oh, I know I I don't be dying. Oh, sorry god. Hold on. I'm a little bit
I'm going to heroin detox
Do you think it when you die of heroin you're high when you get to heaven or hell?
I think you're groggy a little bit up there. So how many days do they take to get back to normal? Probably a week
Yeah, you just sign a cloud
Just twitching and sweating going through fucking withdrawals, right? Yeah
That's the worst would be if you
If you're going through withdrawals and then you're in a pit of fire in hell
And you never get away from the withdrawals. That's what hell is wow you withdraw for the rest of time
That'd be fucking what would you do?
I told you partially I would get on a private jet and I would literally tour with my family and friends
All over the world and just spend like a day in a bunch of crazy places spend money eat that means he has money
Eat as much food but spend every time I have right
I had zero intention on keeping any of my money if I knew I was gonna die
Oh, so you wouldn't leave some for your sister for who your sister get a fucking job
Your family get a fucking job. Yeah. No, I would leave some for my brother and zero not one fucking dime will be left when I die
Why I can't have a little no nothing
I'm spending literally all of it in fact
I'm gonna have an accountant budget out what I could spend where I could eat fancy restaurants private chefs
I would spend every dime I've ever fucking worked hard to make and save
I'd take it all out of everything that I've ever invested in and I would throw it
I would throw it away so fucking fast, but I wouldn't buy things. I would do it buy experiences
I'm buying private jets all over the world to exotic places to eat amazing meals
And and bone my womb bone my woman on the beach
And get a ticket for it. Yeah go to prison for it
And then I would after I tour tour around the world for one month jet jet jet setting
Then I would spend the next month
um
Seeing family and extended members of friends and saying my goodbye
And I would say because I don't want this close to the end. I want to do it now and get it over with
And then the last two months
I would try to physically set hollywood on fire
I would literally go to every every studio. I'll help you do that and I would every studio
Comically, I would set up. I would try to blow up every studio. You know what I would do the day after you your funeral
This would be devastating. So I'm at your funeral, right?
Right and people are grieving. Yeah, they're grieving. I'll say how I'll hug your parents
Right, your sister. I'll hug a little extra. No
Yeah, just a little extra because she's grieving
Right, it's okay
Right, hold on. No, right. So then um
And the next day I would come to the studio and continue bad friends with Anthony just hold neck
Would you be mad? No
You'll be in heaven the money would still go to my account
Would it really? Mm-hmm. Yeah, I've set it up that way
All right
Yeah, I wouldn't honestly would you guys please if he died
And doc still wanted to do it and jewels and everyone wanted to do it and we just needed a second guy
It would not be the same without you. Okay, but would you if I would you continue it? Be honest
I would hope you would
Just because I'm dead. It's really hard on the name and the brand. All right. Who's we?
me
So the brand baby. So what would you do man? I would definitely keep doing it. Yeah, how about you George?
No way. No way. It wouldn't be the same. You got to start something different. God bless. Oh, it would change the name a little bit
Stop it. You're good friends. George Kimmel. You're the fucking man. I love you to death. You see that
I was giving you guys an out. I said, yeah, you should continue doing it
But George what he said he goes we should change the name and start a new show
What would you do the day after my funeral?
Like a ken jong in here
I just I know so many more koreans now. I know you do so Steven young could pop right by yeah
You know who really fit in david
Cho, yeah, I would fucking love to that would be a banger
No, but let's be honest. You want the truth? Yeah
Nobody
In my comedy career too. Have I ever had what I have with you?
Nobody me too. No, no, I'm serious. I've been real
There's nobody I've messed with as more as fun as we do
Comedically than any comic I've ever worked with so no, it would never be the same and that being said
We want to take two seconds right now to say thank you to the fans
It means a lot to us that you guys watch the show
We continue doing the show with or without little black magic and Rudy they'll both be back when they can
And we also want to remind you
We are doing more fan interactions. We're going to be setting up some stuff and
We're not going to announce the date, but we are going to be doing a bad friends live soon
Live stream doing a bad friends live stream soon. So you can you can see that we've got a ton of special surprises
2023 we also want to do way more live dates. Yes, and to go on the road next year
We want to do we want to do a bunch of stuff together to come see you guys
We're also going to sometimes now have some guests on we're going to start having guests on the show as well
Yes, so if you guys have suggestions name down below who you guys think you'd want on this show
So comment who you guys think would you'd want on the show?
and
we'll
We'll start we'll start having some fun guests on the show because we think it'd be nice to mix it up a little bit and then
After that I want Andres to close out the show and
And take us home fans
Thank you for being a bad friend