Bad Friends - Rudy & Her Sister Are Bullies

Starting point is 00:00:00 You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots? Woo-hoo. White dude and Asian dude. Woo-hoo. You two are disgusting. Woo-hoo. You two are something.

Starting point is 00:00:10 We're bad friends. Look who's here. I know. She lives in my house. Does she really? We clean. No, you don't. Yes, we do.

Starting point is 00:00:17 No, here's what. So I give her $100, right? Yeah. I'm going to just do this. $100. Just do this little small laundry. Yeah. Stays in there for 24 hours in the dryer. Oh my god. Right? Yeah. I go, just do this. $100, just do this little small laundry. Yeah. Stays in there for 24 hours in the dryer.

Starting point is 00:00:28 Oh my God. Right? And then I go, you're not gonna fold it? She goes, ugh. I folded it right away. I know, after I said something, for $100, what do you have to do in the Philippines to make that?

Starting point is 00:00:39 Yeah, what do you have to do in the Philippines for $100? That's a lot. Well, you have to be the fastest tree climber in the neighborhood. Yeah, yeah, yeah, lot. Well, you have to be the fastest street climber in the neighborhood. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's, as 100 American dollars, how many? That's 5,000 pesos.

Starting point is 00:00:52 What can you get for 5,000 pesos in the Philippines? A lot, a lot. Buy a whole village, I think. Yeah, I know, property, everything. What can you really buy? Seriously, like, what does 5,000 pesos get you? An iPhone? Instead of pesos, like, it's 5,000 pesos.

Starting point is 00:01:03 No. Oh. iPhone is more expensive of pesos like it's More yeah, it's like a hundred thousand are your iPhones made out of coconut shells Like how do they get all those components in there? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay Shoes, but you'd have to work how long to get $5,000 do you think? I think. Two days. No.

Starting point is 00:01:29 More. More. Yeah. Like a week. So one hour laundry. Look at this, this is the average daily pay in the Philippines varies by region, but the minimum wage for non-agricultural workers

Starting point is 00:01:40 in Metro Manila is 645 pesos. And he gave you 5,000 pesos. Yeah. And so when I say do the laundry, does it mean just leave it in the dryer? I just, I want to understand your, the language. You know what I mean? If I'm going being direct, I don't know.

Starting point is 00:01:56 Do I have to be specific? Yeah, because you were like, oh, can you do the laundry? I thought you just meant just put it in the laundry. That's only one half of the laundry. I know. That's just one half. The hard part is folding it. Right, right.

Starting point is 00:02:09 That's what I'm paying you for. No, I had fun folding it. What? I had fun folding it. You like folding. I like folding. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I had to ask you the next day.

Starting point is 00:02:18 Yeah. Okay, the average monthly salary for a housekeeper, what you're asking her to do in the Philippines, is around 14,000 pesos. So you got one third of a month pay in one day. Yeah. I gotta tell you, this is- It's too much.

Starting point is 00:02:32 I think I'm paying too much. You are. Yeah, yeah. Why don't you pay them in pesos? Can you do that? Yeah. Mexican pesos. Yeah, that's right.

Starting point is 00:02:39 Is it the same thing? No. If I got pesos in Mexico, can I spend it in the Philippines? They'd take anything down there, I'm sure. Yeah, yeah. Let's introduce- Introduce our guests now that we've just berated them for five minutes. No. If I got pesos in Mexico, can I spend it in the Philippines? They'd take anything down there, I'm sure. Yeah, yeah. Let's introduce our guests now

Starting point is 00:02:47 that we've just berated them for five minutes. Well, we got Jules. We have the old school Rudy Jules is back. Yeah, back, you know what I mean? And then we have her little sister, Issa. Issa, Issa. Issa, Izzy. Izzy, how old are you now?

Starting point is 00:03:00 I'm 17. Wow. That's Rudy when we started. We started when Rudy was 17. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. And you were? I'm 17. Wow. That's Rudy when we started. We started when Rudy was 17. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you were a little nervous before, are you nervous now? No, I'm okay now. Because you know us now.

Starting point is 00:03:12 No. You don't know him. I've met him like four times. That's enough times. I know, but are you still, be honest with me, because he's a lot. Are you scared of him? Are you scared of Andrew a little bit?

Starting point is 00:03:23 No. Yeah, why won't you lock eyes of Andrew a little bit? No. Yeah. Why won't you like that? I lock eyes with Andrew. Lock eyes with him. She's not. I know. But the way you lock eyes, look eyes with me.

Starting point is 00:03:35 I have to turn over. You're like a dog. Yeah, yeah. My asshole trembles, dude. It does. And it goes, you know what I mean? The inside of my butthole comes out a little bit. It's my body going, no.

Starting point is 00:03:44 What? You know what I mean? The hat a little bit. It's my body going no what? Do what you do do what you do do exactly do what you do this that was Yeah, I gave him this I'm protecting me Take it off! Take it off! Come on, come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Oh my god. I feel better now. Yeah, I feel better. Illegal. That's a warning!

Starting point is 00:04:32 That's a warning, dude. God, dude, you ruined the show! You ruined it, dude. You put us in bad moods, bro. Why do you do that? Yeah, you put us against a wall. We have to fight our way out. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:04:42 You ruined it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you know what you guys are right now? You guys are Simon and Theodore. Who's that? Alvin and the Chipmunks! Oh my gosh! Alvin and Theodore!

Starting point is 00:04:56 Alvin and Theodore. Are they the bullies? Are they that bully? Keep it up, dude. We bought you gifts Yeah, yeah, by the way, you know what he texted me cuz we have to do we have to do I have to do a read for my show and I said, okay Can we can do we can do it after or we can do before bad? He's like come to the studio at 6 and then I hit him and I said I can't I can't make it at six I'm meeting up with you and then he says in the text he goes I'm already here but fine

Starting point is 00:05:34 I almost got up I almost got up I almost got up oh my god fine fine he's got dude he's gotten so Carlos say it. He's gotten way too much lately and it's going to his head, I can tell. Is the stars on your face a fashion statement? Yeah. Okay. It is for pimples, right? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:05:56 You don't look like you have any pimples. Are there pimples under there or is this to look cool? Yeah, there are pimples. Isn't this, this has gotta be a thing to look cool now too. Yeah, you wear them sometimes. No, no. I wear them when they're, when they're bad, under the skinnies, you know what I'm saying? Dude, I had a deep one when you knew it was gonna be a thing to look cool now too. Yeah, you wear them sometimes. No, no. I wear them when they're bad, under the skinnies.

Starting point is 00:06:06 I had a deep one, when you knew it was gonna be a fucking volcano. It was Pompeii, bro. Did it explode? No, but for five days, I just kept putting those fucking stickers on. All right Izzy, what's been going on with you in your life? It's been fine, my school just ended like two months ago.

Starting point is 00:06:24 So what are you doing now? Now it's summer for you. Like before I went here I was doing nothing. What are you gonna do here while you're in LA? Not do laundry. Sounds like not, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're just having fun, we've been going out

Starting point is 00:06:36 like almost every single day. Where are you going? Where do you go out? What is going out? Oh, can I say something? Okay. The other day I go, you guys are gonna go do something. And I go, can I go?

Starting point is 00:06:45 And they go, no. Why don't you take him? We- Because he was making it awkward. I said, oh, we're gonna get coffee. And then he started smiling. He likes coffee. Dude, say it's coffee to me.

Starting point is 00:06:59 Hey, do you wanna get coffee? Oh, let's go. Oh my God, how fun. Automatic reaction, dude. He's excited. I love coffee. I told him you can come, but then he. Oh my god. How far automatic a reaction is excited. I love coffee I told him you can come but then he was like no he started laughing and making it weird No, no, and I was like maybe you made it weird No, no, you know cuz when we were there you weren't even there. We were waiting for you

Starting point is 00:07:17 We're like, where's it to Bobby? I told you I wasn't gonna go because of the you did the reaction of you know Yeah, you said you would go and then you said that if I see you, I won't even talk to you. Yeah, but that's normal. That's normal, it's not a joke. Yeah, he's just joking around. I'm just joking around, dude.

Starting point is 00:07:31 The fact that you wouldn't bring Keto Bobby for coffee kind of breaks my heart a little bit. It breaks my heart. Makes me think that your Jules is a little too, her head's gotten a little too big. Above it, above it. Yeah, she's above it. Yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:07:41 You graduated. And she's getting like that too now. She's gonna start soaking up that. Oh, she's gonna be the worst. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. See, look at that. Yeah, I's above it. Yeah, yeah. You graduated. And she's getting like that too now. She's gonna start soaking up that. Oh, she's gonna be the worst. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. See, look at that. Yeah, I can already tell.

Starting point is 00:07:49 Your attitude, even as a kid, you were fucking too much attitude. Yeah, yeah. You went through your phases. Remember you went through your emo phase? Oh my God. Yeah, yeah. I'm gonna dye my hair and be all sad and cut myself.

Starting point is 00:08:02 What color did you dye your hair? I dyed my hair pink. That's not too, that's not that bad. Is that you? There you are. Yeah. Yeah, that's me. Yeah. Is that you? No. No. Okay.

Starting point is 00:08:11 But they all look the same. They all look kind of the same. Every emo kid looks exactly the same. Are you through, what phase are you in now? I don't know. Uh-huh. Chill. Are you chill?

Starting point is 00:08:21 I'm chill. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know, I know a new word. I know a new word. I want to learn about what the kids are saying. She's skibbity. Oh, you're so skibbity. Skibbity. Skibbity do da, skibbity da. Why oh why wonder wonder skibbity. Very good. I don't know. Skibbity slang term. Skibbity what does it mean? YouTube videos, a filler word like cool, or dumb so it means everything and all right Let me see if I can use in the sun. Yeah, yo man. Just poopoo on your face

Starting point is 00:08:49 This yeah, no no this isn't poo. This is just it's just a little bit of sunscreen How you're being skivvy you have to say yes you get the yes and Why you don't know improv you have to yes and the fucking thing dude. Why do I have poo on my face? It's just sketch improv. So you can ask me anything. Are you hungry? I would have said yes You said it right poop on my face. I was trying to make it foolish like ask me again. Yeah, ask me again God man. Sorry ask me again Anyway, do it again. Hey, man, you got uh No, do the same thing. I know

Starting point is 00:09:22 You got chunky poo on your, peanut poo on your face. I do? Yeah. No, I don't. You're doing it again, dude! Give me it again. It's anti-comedy what you're doing. I'll do it.

Starting point is 00:09:33 All right. All right. Yo, man, what a party. Whoa, whoa, whoa. You have poo on your face. Yeah, I do, man. You have skibbity poo all over your face. Yeah, I'm being skibbity. You're skibbitying right now. Yeah, whoa, whoa. You have poo on your face. Yeah, I do, man. You have skibbity poo all over your face. Yeah, I'm being skibbity.

Starting point is 00:09:47 You're skibbitying right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sick, dog. I mean, we went all that way to get to there. I know. I just had to foil the bit. Okay. What does skibbity mean?

Starting point is 00:09:55 I have never said that word. Yeah. But do you know what it is? You've seen it on the internet. What's some terms? We want to learn terms. What do Filipino kids say? You can say, boang. Boang. What does boang mean? No, it want to learn terms. What do Filipino kids say? You can say, boang.

Starting point is 00:10:05 Boang. What does boang mean? No, it has to be harder. Boang. Boang. Boang. Boang. What does it mean though?

Starting point is 00:10:13 Boang. What? Crazy. You're being boang right now. Boang. You claim that you're too fast. You're being boang. You guys are using it right though.

Starting point is 00:10:23 Boang. Exactly. Because we're smart. It's like somebody chokes you. Sounds like a chicken. Sounds like a nut disease. Yeah, I'm sorry sir but you have... I go really?

Starting point is 00:10:36 I'm both? Anyway. Give us more terms. What are the Filipino kids saying right now? Like your age is... My age? Yeah. Oh, gi-a-tay.

Starting point is 00:10:49 Gi-a-tay. Oh god, let me guess what that means. Okay. Gi-a-tay. Stinky feet. No, let me get... Oh, you're swimming in a bog. Poo on your face.

Starting point is 00:10:59 No. You're swimming in a bog. Yeah. How come you... Whenever I say a suggestion, you bury me with fucking poo on the face. I'm sorry. What is going on with you today? That's our relationship.

Starting point is 00:11:08 I know. All right, go. Yeah, yeah, I just threw it out that it wasn't good what I said, right? But I'm just guessing. What is it, say the word again. Giatay. Giatay.

Starting point is 00:11:16 Giatay. Giatay. Giatay. Grandma, did you make some giatay? Oh, it's good dish. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know, that's the thing. No, it sounds good.

Starting point is 00:11:24 Yeah, really? Giatay. Yeah, how come you're walking so slow? Oh, my giatay hurts. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh no, that's the thing. No, it sounds good. Really? Yeah, how come you're walking so slow? Oh, my giatay hurts. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's pretty good. What is it? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:11:31 It means shit. Oh, we're not, actually we were close. Pretty close. You got giatay on your face. Yeah, I got giatay on my face. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's more like, oh shit, like, oh I just did something. I stepped on a nail.

Starting point is 00:11:41 Oh, giatay. Yeah. Wow. Giatay what? Giatay, giatay, giatay. Oh, giatay, giatay. Oh, giatay, giatay. Oh, giatay something. I stepped on a nail. Oh, get out. Yeah. Wow. Oh, get out. What? Get out. What does that mean? It's just an expression.

Starting point is 00:11:52 We're learning everything new. I like it. Give us more. Give us more. Also, you like you like you like Sublime. I just noticed that. Yeah. You like them.

Starting point is 00:12:00 You know, they're playing again. His son is playing. Yeah. You don't know. You don't know that. No, she doesn't even know. You know, the songs or?. His son is playing. Yeah. You don't know that. No. She doesn't even know.

Starting point is 00:12:06 Do you know the songs or? Yes. OK. Give us one. I don't know, Santeria or something. Sing it. I don't know it. No!

Starting point is 00:12:13 We don't know it. You have to tell us. We don't know. You have to say, I don't know anything about it. So it was before my time. Way before my time. Yeah. I'm more into, you know, I mean Bach.

Starting point is 00:12:19 It doesn't look like it's before your time. No, you're not. You're Beethoven. Satie. Yeah. Debussy. Ludwig. Yeah, yeah. Go ahead. There's the lyrics. There it is. He brought Balkan. No, you're not, you're Beethoven. Satie. Debussy. Ludwig.

Starting point is 00:12:25 Yeah, yeah. Go ahead, there's the lyrics. There it is. He brought them up. Yeah, yeah. I don't practice Santeria. I ain't got no crystal ball. Well, I had a million dollars, but I,

Starting point is 00:12:40 I'd spend it all. Jules, next line. Go. If I could find Wow Sancho Yeah What does Sancho do

Starting point is 00:13:05 For you to put a cap in them. Well, let me tell you something S Sancho, Sancho is her new lover. Oh, I see. That's his ex's lover. I don't know the lyrics. Okay. Also, you know what bothered me about the song forever? What? Go up there. He says,

Starting point is 00:13:15 I don't practice Santeria. Santeria is basically, it's card reading, tarot reading, it's the same thing. I don't have a crystal ball. Okay. Got it. Well, I had a million dollars, right? But I'd spend it all. So he said he had it, then he said if he did have it,

Starting point is 00:13:31 Well, a Santeria is $600,000. Right? Yeah. And a crystal ball, a high end one, $400,000. So a million dollars. That's a million. Yeah. Oh. That's what it is. That all adds up. Yeah. If you want high end, when I get it, I get high end. I get it from Gandalf. Yeah, this one right there.

Starting point is 00:13:46 I get my crystal ball from Gandalf. No, you get your crystal ball from, uh, uh, huh? Andrica. Andrica. Yeah, Andrica. Cause Andrica's the name of the crew on the show. Right, right, right. And at Santeria, I get it black market.

Starting point is 00:13:56 Oh, you do? Yeah, yeah. Oh, wow. Yeah. I'm getting everything on. From a black person. I get it on the white market. You do?

Starting point is 00:14:02 Yeah. You play retail. I like the white market. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'd prefer the white market. You do? You play retail. I like the white market. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'd prefer the white market. Can you buy Santerias in the Philippines? Yeah. Are there tarot readers in the Philippines?

Starting point is 00:14:12 Yeah, real ones. What do you mean real ones? Like, they're legit. We have real ones here? No, no, I think they have the legit ones. We have them too, dude. We have them on Ventura. There's like three of them that-

Starting point is 00:14:22 No, they have scars on their faces. They have the whole- Oh, scary ones. Yeah, Filipino, oh, that one We have them on Ventura. There's like three of them. No, they have scarves on their faces. They have the whole. Oh, scary ones. Yeah, Filipino. Oh, that one's real. Oh, look at that. Oh my, and look at the fucking cards above. Black figures like that.

Starting point is 00:14:31 What does that mean? One day you'll be black. No. Jay-Z is Jay-Z. Quit let me feel. And like my aunt did a reading, and then this old lady, like she did like read her poems, and then this old lady, like she did like read her poems.

Starting point is 00:14:46 And then the old lady was like, oh, you're being followed by this Capri who wants to fuck you. What's a Capri? What's a Capri? It's like a, it's like a, like a gorilla slash. Carlos is a Capri. Is Carlos a Capri?

Starting point is 00:15:03 Yeah, he smokes, Cap, capre smokes a lot. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But they live like in the trees. Capre. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you weren't in the stage, you'd be capre for sure. King capre. So wait, a capre was following her, trying to attack her.

Starting point is 00:15:16 Trying, no, fuck her, cause like he's, the capre is like obsessed with her. That's what the- Wow. And did she ever, did the capre ever get her? Yeah. I don't think so. But then the old lady was like, you have to get out of town because this is like. OK, OK. That is Carla.

Starting point is 00:15:33 That's a cop rate. Wow, dude. Oh, my God. Dude, dude, coppers are cool, bro. So red. Yeah. It has an old school. There's another one. You carry out. Oh, no, he's he's blowing. That's definitely Carlos. That's Carlos. Look at his hairline. Yeah, he has an old school, there's another one. But it looks like that. Doing karaoke. Oh no, he's blowing up. That's definitely Carlos.

Starting point is 00:15:47 That's Carlos. Look at his hairline. Yeah, that's a copyright, dude. Yeah, wow, dude. That's 100% Carlos. That's a, give me more copyright. It looks more like that. Oh, right, that's, wow.

Starting point is 00:15:58 Yeah, that's a fuck. Have you guys ever seen a copyright around the Philippines? But I know, but I saw the shadow of one. Oh, I got a shadow of a capre. Yeah. It could have been a monkey, but. No. Okay, okay. Oh, what's the difference between monkey shadow

Starting point is 00:16:12 and capre shadow? Capre is bigger, they're like huge. Look, it's the size of a tree. Oh, wow. Look at that guy, look at the second photo that you brought up, second one. He's sitting in a tree. I mean, look at that big naked guy in the tree.

Starting point is 00:16:22 Yeah, yeah. You would be able to spot a Capre. Why is he balding? Yeah. Why is the Capre balding? I don't know. Yeah, and what is he blowing on? He's smoking.

Starting point is 00:16:33 Oh, okay, okay. Wait, they smoke? They sit in the trees and they smoke? Wow. This is 100% you. Yeah, yeah. I would love to do that forever. Can we get that on a shirt?

Starting point is 00:16:42 Are there good Capres out there? Like, hey, I'm gonna invite a friend to this party. Like, hey dude, Andrew, I have a friend. Who is it? It's a capri. You want him to come to my house? Yeah. Hmm, what is he bringing?

Starting point is 00:16:54 You have trees at your house? Yeah, my whole front yard is filled with trees. Yeah, he'll be up there. Okay. All night? All night long, yeah. You wanna come inside, man? Just sitting in the trees the whole party? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:17:06 So this woman got chased by the copra or it never happened? You want to come inside man? I mean this is insane. That's a little Filipino kid with one. Can you train to be a copra? Like if I was born in the Philippines. You were supposed to be born not trained to be a copra. What do you mean?

Starting point is 00:17:22 How do I be born from another copra? He's not allowed to dream a copra. What do you mean? Can I be born? How do I be born to be from another copra? He's not allowed to dream? Yeah, yeah. You're taking away his dream. If I was a regular person, I couldn't dream to be a copra. It's like, I want to be a ninja too.

Starting point is 00:17:31 Why can't I be a ninja? Why can't? No, I mean, you'd have to be big enough. How big? Oh, give us the details. How big are copras? Tall, dark figure, reaching up to 10 feet in height. That's pretty tall.

Starting point is 00:17:42 They look like Michael Yeo then. Yeah. Okay. They're pranksters too. They're like Michael Yeo then? Yeah. Okay. They're trickster figures who play pranks. Oh, but they don't kill. I've heard they kill. Really? Go down and go show more.

Starting point is 00:17:53 Let me see if they do kill. Coppers are said- Appearance first. Well, appearance says that coppers describe his tall, dark figure sometimes reaching up to 10 feet in height. Depicted hairy humanoid with long legs. Coppers are said to dwell in large trees,

Starting point is 00:18:06 bamboo, mangoes, ballet de trees. They're also seen under these in paths and forest. Mischievous, playing pranks on people, make you lose your way in the forest and then all your shit disappears. Over here. Oh, here. You love this.

Starting point is 00:18:19 They have the power to remain invisible. Oh, that's why you can't see them. Children or people with a special third eye can see them. Oh. Wow. You have third eyes? I think so. Yeah. I feel like it's something that you would know.

Starting point is 00:18:36 Yeah, I think you'd know by now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like a tail, like you'd know if you had a tail. You would know if you had a tail. You have a third eye, you'd know. Yeah. Can you really see aberisions and ghostly things? Not right now, but when I was younger

Starting point is 00:18:47 and when I was living in the Philippines, like in our old house, I saw like an old lady like just floating. And I told my mom that and she was just like, oh, that's just nothing. It was like a grandma. It was a Capri whore. Capri whore.

Starting point is 00:19:02 Capri whore. And there's a- But you know what? What? She can also feel if there's anything around a space and there's nothing in your house, so that's good. Well, okay. There's nothing in his house. Wait, wait, wait, wait, Jules,

Starting point is 00:19:15 you know this about your sister. She can feel what's in her space. No, like if there's anything in the space. Any entity in the space. So in my house, there's no entity. Do you know why? Why? Because my entity is stronger.

Starting point is 00:19:28 You seance it, didn't you? I seance it out. Yeah, that's cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Who's your entity? His name is Dave. You guys don't know him? You don't know Dave?

Starting point is 00:19:38 No, I've never seen him. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's there. Yeah, he's better than a copyright. I want you to come over. I don't think so. I want you to come over and see if something is in my house. Now I think maybe I have an entity.

Starting point is 00:19:46 She has it. She has the ability. Because I'm telling you, some nights, when I go take the dog out to piss, I'll walk down the stairs and the dog and I will be walking, this happened twice, we'll be walking down the stairs to go outside and we walk down the stairs and we get to like the bottom to turn the corner

Starting point is 00:19:59 and she'll stop and I'll stop. And I'll kind of, and I'll like feel, it feels really weird. And the dog will kind of stop and I'll stop. And I'll kind of, and I'll like feel, it feels really weird. And the dog will kind of stop and look inside the front room and then she'll quietly move back to the door. But I can feel something is different. It's very strange. It's happened to me twice now.

Starting point is 00:20:16 You know what happened to me, right? What? When I was in Oklahoma City, this native guy picks me up because I was doing that movie and he goes, my friend, you have a spirit. Following you? Yeah, following you. And I go, because earlier that day,

Starting point is 00:20:32 I saw a lamp in my hotel room, but I saw something flash to my right, like a black figure. And I kept seeing, I called Kaililah actually. Oh yeah. Yeah, remember? I called Kailila and I go, I literally think that there's a spirit.

Starting point is 00:20:47 And then he goes, you must get Sage. So I bought Sage. Did it help? No. Yeah, yeah. But he disappeared eventually. Wait, no, how did you make it go away? Because I'm dating a witch.

Starting point is 00:21:00 Oh. That's why I think I'm dating a witch. Because you want all that shit gone. Yes. Does she Sage you? Yeah, she Sh witch. Because you want all that shit gone. Yes. Does she sage you? Yeah, she shaves me out, dude. Shaves you. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:21:09 So there's his Reddit story. I forgot exactly how it went, but basically it was this guy, he was talking about how he, like he lives a really good life, he has a wife and kids and stuff, but then he looks at the lamp on this, like the corner of his room,

Starting point is 00:21:24 and then it starts to look weird and then just everything that he knew just disappears. His family disappeared, his wife, his kids. It was all like in his head. It is an illusion. But he lived through it. He lived through it. Having family, having kids.

Starting point is 00:21:42 It's like the inner light then He goes, oh yeah. Shopify. We have an online business here at Bad Friends and we only use Shopify. Shopify is the commerce platform behind millions of businesses around the world and 10% of all e-commerce in the US from household names like Mattel and Gymshark to brands just getting started. That's right, like this brand,

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Starting point is 00:25:26 to find and instantly book a top rated doctor today. That's zocdoc, Z-O-C-D-O-C.com slash bad friends is zocdoc.com slash bad friends. Dude. That was insane, dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Inner light. Yeah, so inner light is a Star Trek

Starting point is 00:25:45 next generation episode. Do it again. What? You know what it's like? It's like Inner Light. No idea. So it's, you know Adam Egan from the Comedy Store. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:26:00 He hated Star Trek Next Generation, right? But I told him to watch this episode called Inner Light. It's the second to last episode on season five. I feel like you told me about that. Yeah, I've talked to you about this episode. But it's much like this episode, you know what I mean? Where Jean-Luc Picard lives a complete and full life in 60 years, but only five minutes past.

Starting point is 00:26:21 Wow. You know what that's like? That's like a mushroom trip. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's happened to me on a mushroom trip. I've lived like five lives.. Wow. Yeah. You know what that's like? That's like a mushroom trip. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's happened to me on a mushroom trip. I've lived like five lives. Oh yeah. Like I've lived like-

Starting point is 00:26:30 If you ever want to watch the best sci-fi episode of all time, I think that's the best TV episode of a sci-fi show. I need to watch it. Yeah, it's incredible. Where is it on? Is it still on the internet? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:26:41 Can I explain to you the episode or not? Probably not. No. Okay, okay. No, no, no, no. No. It's certainly one of my passions, but okay. I'm to you the episode or not? Probably not. No, okay, okay No, it's like one of my passions, but okay, I'm telling you man. Yeah, you these girls have energy that it's good Yeah, it's like the room feels different when they're here. Yeah. Yeah, it's good. What's it feel? I don't know if you it feels like chaotic feels chaotic. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it feels like fucking like jazz drums Yeah, it feels like fucking like jazz drums

Starting point is 00:27:10 Second sinners yes, you see it no, okay. What do I see? Dude the poo face thing now. I'm saying yes to everything. Oh, I see you want me to say yes She's yeah All right, which version of up at the horny shit what? Okay, I know I've heard because he plays. He's so hot right he's so hard up photos of him? Which version of him? Stop with the horny shit. Both of them. What? Both of them. Okay, any of them. I know, I've heard, because he plays himself twice, right? He's so hot. Bring up photos of him without a shirt on.

Starting point is 00:27:28 His arm. Michael B. Jordan is jacked. He's such a good looking guy, it's unbelievable. Yeah. Wow. It's crazy. Whoa, dude. Jesus Christ, that one's inappropriate.

Starting point is 00:27:39 That's inappropriate, dude. Oh my God, imagine. Imagine. This is Jules Wants His Chocolate guy. This is Jules once's chocolate guy. Yeah. She's looking for chocolate. Have you had chocolate? No.

Starting point is 00:27:49 Yeah, would you do this chocolate? She said last time. Yeah. Yeah? Yeah. How many chocolates did you do? How many bars? A lot.

Starting point is 00:27:56 Yeah? A lot. Okay. Rudy, now you're single. You can go date chocolate if you want. I think she's, honestly, can I be honest with you? Okay, go. I don't think that does interest to you.

Starting point is 00:28:09 Dating? Yeah. Like right now? Anytime. I guess. Yeah. You dated for a long time, right? Yeah, I just wanna rest, but it's like,

Starting point is 00:28:19 I can still look at you. I just wanna rest. Like you were jogging. 24 years old. Like she was jogging. Yeah. I was 23 when I started standup, her age. Me too, same thing. And when I look at her, I go, I was that young?

Starting point is 00:28:30 It's crazy, man. Isn't it crazy? It's fucking crazy. I was that young when I did. Yeah, I was 22, 23 when I started. Yeah. Oh. Whoa.

Starting point is 00:28:38 We got some submissions. Oh, so we got BBC submissions. What's BBC? Big Black, huh? Okay. And so what, so we got BBC submissions to date Rudy. So who's this first guy? Yeah, let's see the first guy.

Starting point is 00:28:50 Let's see the first submission here. This guy is Sean Harris. Yeah, he's 28. Aries? 28, he's an Aries. What's up, Sean? Credit score is 720. That's good.

Starting point is 00:29:01 Business credit 84, not bad. He's six feet tall, he's got a Honda Civic working on it. He's an artist consultant, lives in Pennsylvania, travels New York a lot for work. That's neither, those places are here. And Rudy, you're a gorgeous, follow my IG. To the bad friends, love y'all, keep it up. Okay, so let's see.

Starting point is 00:29:16 First photo. This guy. Okay. All right, well he's out there, he's smoking weed maybe? Yeah, yeah. All right. He's not scared. Oh, he raps? Oh, he's handsome. How do you? Yeah, yeah. All right. He's not. Okay. Oh, he raps?

Starting point is 00:29:26 Oh, he's handsome. How do you know from, what was his mouth from there? It's a microphone covering his whole face. Yeah. But I, from I of good. What about this? Cute.

Starting point is 00:29:35 Yeah, yeah. Smoking again. Smoking again. Better with a microphone on, huh? Yeah. Yeah. So this is his Instagram. This is actually one of his,

Starting point is 00:29:43 this is one of his songs. Oh, here we go. So this is his Instagram. This is actually one of his, this is one of his songs. Oh, here we go. And Jesse, you ain't had enough. Like I'm the air, I won't hesitate to air. No, he smokes too much. I think he smokes too much. Let's get a different contestant. But we do like him.

Starting point is 00:29:56 You like him a lot. Very talented. You know what my problem with that guy is? Too cool. Oh, too cool. Way too cool. Rudy's BBC dream. Next up is a fam, not sure how to do this. my credit is 653 and my dick past my belly button soft. I

Starting point is 00:30:10 Love one piece. Tell it what up. Okay. All right any photos. No. Oh, there is it. No 52 Yeah, why'd you see the horse first It's 52. I can't tell. Oh, he loves horses. He has a kid. He has a kid? Yeah, he's got a- Why'd you see the horse first? I just don't see a lot of black people on horses. Do you? I mean, let's-

Starting point is 00:30:35 Time out. Do you see it? Let me think about it first. Okay, just think about it. I've never seen a black guy on a horse. I've never seen a black guy skydiving. Or drink coffee. Or drink coffee.

Starting point is 00:30:42 Yeah. What? Yeah. What? Yeah. What? Wow. Okay, next up. We like them though. This is for the girl BBC request, ha ha ha.

Starting point is 00:30:51 Her chocolate love tell her follow me on Insta. Yeah, here we go chocolate love. Can I ask something real fast? Yeah. They all put their credit score in there. Do we ask for that? I think you did. I think you did ask for that.

Starting point is 00:31:01 You did. Yeah, yeah, you're being protective. Well, first of all, first of all, Bobby's my friend, you guys are laughing at me. My friend said, I'm being protective. I want to make sure they have a bright future and that Jules can be taken care of. Exactly.

Starting point is 00:31:16 You wanted to be specific. I said what? Yeah, that's about that and the car. That's why they go. Well, I want to know, do the, okay, does Jules want to date someone who's making less than 5,000 pesos a day? No. No.

Starting point is 00:31:28 This is my case in point. Exactly. There he is at a mall by a fountain. Bro, you walk into the West Covina Mall and you see that guy sitting on that fountain. What would you do? Run away. No, you wouldn't. You're like, let's get acai bowl together or whatever. Go back to the mall photo real fast

Starting point is 00:31:45 I gotta tell you the truth those lips nice lips nice lips I'm telling you my my guess is yeah. He is on break at the kiosk. He works at and took that photo That's a guess. What kiosk is it? They probably look at me right now, dude. No, what yes. Yes. What kiosk is it? I think they fix iPhone Good Wait, look at me right now, dude. No. Yes, yes. What kiosk is it? I think they fix iPhones. Okay, good, good. Nice tattoos though. I just feel like he loves himself too. Oh, I see. Tattoos on the face.

Starting point is 00:32:12 Do you like tattoos on the face? You do. Wow. Yeah, all right. Okay. I feel like the title alone was just like, oh, BBC or Chris, ha ha. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:32:23 Yeah. You don't like the ha ha part. I understand. You't like that haha, you don't like the haha part. I understand, you know what? And he's half naked in the parking lot. Yeah, you as a sister, you wouldn't approve. I wouldn't approve. I get that. I get it.

Starting point is 00:32:34 Moving on, I get that. And very smart to say the haha does throw you. Chance to meet Rudy. Hey guys. She's white. Yeah, but can we mix it? Can we mix it up a little bit? You can't have BBC and BBC.

Starting point is 00:32:45 He might have a big black dick. I don't know. I may not have a BBC. Alright. Being white and all, but I'm 32 I think Rudy would have fun with me. My credit score is in the 700s. I drive a Lexus ES350 and I have a cruiser motorcycle.

Starting point is 00:32:59 Let me stop you right there, pal. We're not letting our kid get on a motorcycle. What if he has a WBC? Let me see. A white black hawk. Let's see. Let's see if he has a white black hawk. Yeah, zoom in. Oh my God, James Dean, dude.

Starting point is 00:33:15 It's a screenshot of it. Yeah? Yeah. Yeah, okay. It's a screenshot. Next. Oh, give me next photo. Oh, so you're interested.

Starting point is 00:33:22 Nice man. Hello, happy Thanksgiving. Right? You can imagine him saying that. By the way, that definitely is a next photo. Oh, so you're interested. Nice man. Hello, happy Thanksgiving. Right? You can imagine him saying that. By the way, that definitely is a Thanksgiving photo. Yeah, yeah. There's the cruiser motorcycle. Hey.

Starting point is 00:33:32 All right, we're gonna unfortunately pass. We're gonna pass on that. We're gonna pass. For Rudy's love, this next guy is 2561 Black Eye. I love how he just wrote, I'm 2561 Black Eye. 690 credit score with a 2016 Mustang GT. He's in North Carolina. He's in school to be a doctor.

Starting point is 00:33:49 Ooh. Ooh. A doctor, wait for it, in physical therapy. All right, so it's not, it's a doctor. What do you think he's leaning toward, doctor or physical therapy? It's physical therapy. Is this him?

Starting point is 00:34:00 Yeah. My man. My man. I need PT, so maybe we can hook this up. He's a child of God, that is good to know. That's really good. There he is. Oh, wow. There he is on Main Street, just doing his thing. He's doing his thing, this guy, dude.

Starting point is 00:34:12 Dude, go to the slide before. It was literally just like seconds before, go one more. It was just like, this is like all the same day. Zoom in, zoom in. What do you think he's doing there? Bro. What do you think he's doing? It Bro. What do you think he's doing? It's just, it's like, this is like moments later

Starting point is 00:34:28 he took these photos. People my age post stuff like this. Like seconds later you took the same photo. Go back to that photo, the first one. It's like a slide of time. It's a chronological. What is he looking for on the ground there? You tell me, bud.

Starting point is 00:34:43 No, no, no, bud. I'm throwing it, I'm laying it up to you. No, bud. What are you looking for on the ground? You tell me. bud. No, no, no, bud. I'm throwing it up to you. No, bud. What are you looking for on the ground? You tell me. No, you tell me my friend. You tell me. No, he dropped his keys.

Starting point is 00:34:53 Oh, he did? Yeah, yeah. Is that what's down there? I don't know. But do we like this guy? He's okay, but all his pictures is like of his back. He likes his back. He has a great back, dude.

Starting point is 00:35:03 Kid's got a good back. Look at that. And he always has scripture on his back. Yeah. his back. He has a great back, dude. Kid's got a good back. Look at that. And he always has scripture on his back. Yeah. I have a guy who dresses, I mean, I have a classmate who dresses like this. What do you mean you have a guy? What did you mean by that?

Starting point is 00:35:13 I have a guy classmate who dresses like that. This guy loves words on a shirt. And this guy, what kind of shirts does he wear, your guy classmate? The ones with the words on your back. What does the word say, Issa? I don't know, I forgot. I don't look at this guy all the time.

Starting point is 00:35:28 Okay. I gotta tell you though, I like this guy. That last shirt he just had, I really liked. What does it say? It's a dear person behind me. The world is a better place with you in it. Aww. I like that kind of stuff.

Starting point is 00:35:39 We like that kind of stuff. That means his heart is good. Yeah. You know? But you don't like him, do you? I'm not vibing. Okay, move on, no vibe. All right, I'm from Canada, I was just there. Okay, here we go.

Starting point is 00:35:51 Maybe I can get a date with Rudy. He's in Edmonton, Alberta. Okay. I'd rather date the dog. Get off. I'd rather date the dog. Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na. So. I'd rather date a dog. M-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n Look at, oh my God. Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.

Starting point is 00:36:26 Does he do stand up? Is that what that is? Well, he can't memorize his jokes, he's reading it off his phone. Wait, go down to the next one. Yeah. Okay, where's his Instagram? He didn't leave it.

Starting point is 00:36:37 Oh my God. Fuck, Rudy, this might, we might have to put the brakes on that. Yeah. We might have to put the brakes on that. Yeah, he's a long face. He's a long, yeah, why the long face? Yeah, quite a long face.

Starting point is 00:36:48 Anything else? Nothing, what we have other applications. Yeah, please, more please. This is Gary Nelson. Okay, first of all, that's not a black guy. Gary? Gary. I bet he is.

Starting point is 00:36:59 Find out if Jules would be up for two BWC. Big white cock. Yeah, that's a white guy. Yeah, okay, let's look. Send a video, you said to Gary. Ha ha. Here you go, bud. This is like a video of him jerking off.

Starting point is 00:37:13 It fucking better not be. It better not be or I'll get angry. Hey, bad friends family. The reason I think I'd be a good match for Rudy is I'm obsessed with one piece I Love how gross she is. I Love how she doesn't have a filter. We're both on the spectrum. Most likely. I have a fat dog Cat over there eating some food and I've got a big white dick Hold on I we're the parents. Yeah, that's first of all, I'm a dick. Hold on.

Starting point is 00:37:45 We're the parents. Yeah. That's first of all. I'm all in. First of all. Oh. I'm all in as a parent. I only have one big fear.

Starting point is 00:37:55 What? What? Go back to it and don't play it. Just, oh yeah, okay. Push pause. Pause. Now scan to when he scans the room. Okay, ready?

Starting point is 00:38:04 Yeah, let's look at the background. Okay, okay, up when he goes back up again there. Stop, pause. Stop, stop. Okay, what is going on back there? This is a basement. Dude, you're right. And that is scary to me.

Starting point is 00:38:14 Let me say something. Who lives above? Parents. Parents, mom and dad. Yeah, mom and dad. Now, the only thing that would give that away to this is not a basement in a weird turn of events is that is a doggy door.

Starting point is 00:38:24 It'd be weird to have a doggy door in the basement, but I will say- For the cat. What? It's for the cat, he can run. You know what, I don't think it is a basement. Oh yeah. I don't know what he said, but I'm all in.

Starting point is 00:38:40 I don't know what he said, but I'm all in. I don't know what he said but I'm all like, I don't know what he said. The door! He's a cat and dog too. Sorry about that girl. No, that was understandable. Thank you. Thank you so much.

Starting point is 00:38:58 He said you're a regular. You're a regular. You're a regular on this show. He said that was understandable. Because you were like, oh that's a doggy door and he was like, oh it's for cats. Right. Exactly dude, you get it. He said that was understandable. Cause you were like, oh, that's a doggy door. And he was like, oh, it's for cats. Right. Exactly, dude. You get it.

Starting point is 00:39:07 In the Philippines, you understand. Broke my foot. That's what I'm doing. I'm falling down too hard. OK. Let me tell you something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Here we go.

Starting point is 00:39:18 Cut it out. Cut it out. Cut it the fuck out. Yeah. We're trying to do an investigation here for Rudy's sake. Why don't you say squirrel? Yeah. That's a hamster door. Yeah, we're trying to do an investigation here for Rudy's cat. Why don't you say squirrel? Yeah? That's a hamster dog. Yeah hamster day. Come on guys. That's a door for all the fucking species So tell me is this guy of interest I like that. He has a cat and a dog and a fat dog fat dog is cool

Starting point is 00:39:36 That dick fat dick do okay. All right, sweetheart. Sweet. Oh, sorry. Sorry. Sorry, honey. Okay, baby What my mom she is hello. He's my mom. What? He's my mom. I am. She is. Hello. That's so obvious he's your mom.

Starting point is 00:39:50 Go to the next applicant, please. Well, we'll put him on hold. Okay, who's this next guy coming over? He hasn't even, he didn't even say anything. So we're gonna meet Zach. Oh, I'd love to. Honey, honey. Yes, sweetheart.

Starting point is 00:40:00 We're gonna meet Zach. All right. I hope Jules picks right. Oh my God. Oh. Oh my God. Pause. What are we in Gaza? Why can I say that? He can. He can. All right, here we go. Don't judge me, mom. I watched your shows in the shower. I don't touch myself to... He's naked. Yeah. To Bobby

Starting point is 00:40:20 in the shower. I just watch your shows in the shower anyways. Rudy, yeah, 100%. Honestly, we want her on the BBC side. I've talked to a few of the BBC community members. In English. And we were thinking like Rudy Jules, like she'd be a great part of the community. Let's just exclude Bobby from this conversation for just a second.

Starting point is 00:40:44 You know, sit him outside. But wait, just a second. Wait, wait, wait. Stop. Push pause. Hey guy, what's your obsession with me? He mentioned you three times. I know. There's some sexual tension between me. I think he wants you.

Starting point is 00:40:54 Yeah. I don't think it's about you. I think it's about me. Yeah. And no thank you, dude. I think you should get with him. He's really funny and I like how he's like kind of nervous to talk about my sister. You think he's funny?

Starting point is 00:41:06 Yeah, he's kind of funny. He's trying to be funny. No, he's funny. God, the humor, no. The level of humor in the youth. All right, let's go to the next guy. Next one, please. I don't think we can have you get that guy.

Starting point is 00:41:18 Zach, hi, Zach. We liked him though. Zach, we love you. Handsome. We love you, Zach. You're handsome, Zach. This guy has a 2022 Chevy Camaro. We put that in the subject line. Hope Rudy likes my car. If not, please show it love you, Zach. We love you, Zach. You're handsome, Zach. This guy has a 2022 Chevy Camaro. We put that in the subject line. Hope Rudy likes my car.

Starting point is 00:41:27 If not, please show it on the next episode. Oh, his photo's gonna be bad, I think. It's a video, I think, yeah? Jamal. I hate car guys. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Already. Oh, another back.

Starting point is 00:41:41 Okay. Oh, you can do that. You can do a figure eight on the freeway. Wow. Yeah, yeah, that's pretty cool. I know you want to BBC on the next best thing, Big Brown Weenie, ah, a BBW. Big Brown Weenie, I'm trying to fall in love with Rudy.

Starting point is 00:42:00 I'm 26 years old and I live in East LA. Okay, this one's finally in Los Angeles. Oh, dude. Whoa. Honey, I really like him. You like him? Yeah. He's spicy.

Starting point is 00:42:10 He's spicy, zoom in to his face. He's flicking off the camera. Oh, now he's, I don't know, his attitude's a little aggressive. Attitude's a little tough, yeah. Is there another photo? He sent a video, but it's just like him at a party. Let's see that. We love to see party people party.

Starting point is 00:42:24 Love to see parties. I wanna see how he parties. You like to see him party, sweetheart? Yeah. If he parties hard, there he is. Oh shit. Oh, he's got good- It's like an anime party.

Starting point is 00:42:38 He's got good friends. Good friend, look at him. I actually think this is a smart move. He's showing you that he has fun people around him. A girl is sitting on a fridge. I think this is actually very intelligent. Let me see the girl on the fridge. It's a girl on a counter.

Starting point is 00:42:53 So cute. Yeah, look at her. He's so scared. No, she's so cute. Okay. That guy. Look at the Groucho's at the party. From Sesame Street.

Starting point is 00:43:04 Everybody's here. Everyone's here Bernie Ernie everybody a young What's his name? How come there wasn't a Mexican character on Sesame Street Groucho? Who the fuck is Oscar? I mean Oscar Oscar Who's Groucho? Groucho. Yeah. Oscar, yeah, yeah. Oscar, so- Who's Groucho? Who's Groucho?

Starting point is 00:43:27 Groucho Marx? Marks? Marks Brothers? Wait a minute. Oscar wasn't Latin? He wasn't- Okay, think about, play Oscar and let's just close our eyes and see what he is.

Starting point is 00:43:41 Just close your eyes. Okay, visually. Visually, what is he? Mexican. Why do you say that? You Spanish oppressive piece of shit. Why do you say that, you oppressor? It just has good style.

Starting point is 00:43:53 Okay, nice try, pig. Yeah, nice fucking try. Let's do a video so I can hear what he sounds like. I forgot what he sounds like. This is over with. Okay, well Oscar, thank you for coming to the LA Times to answer our very important questions. You're not welcome. Okay, I already know. A fentanyl white.

Starting point is 00:44:17 Fenty white. Yeah, yeah. Fenty white. Right, a Fenty white. You know, what do you think he is, girls? I don't even know. Yeah. Yeah, white.

Starting point is 00:44:27 Yeah. Play it right there. Yeah, go ahead. Here's what I'm quite fond of. But Grouch's motto is, your next piece of trash could be your best piece of trash. He's an old timey hobo. Yeah, he's an old timey guy.

Starting point is 00:44:40 Yeah, old timey hobo. Old white guy, yeah. He hops on a train, a boxcar train. Exactly, exactly. With the thing and the- Is a leg missing for some reason? Yeah. He wasn't even timey guy. Yeah, old timey local. Old white guy, yeah. He hops on a train, a boxcar train. Exactly, exactly. With the thing and the- Is a leg missing for some reason? Yeah. He wasn't even in a war.

Starting point is 00:44:48 Is that the last BBC? I think we have one more. Let's see it. Aaron Taylor. Anaheim, 6'2". Wow. He says, full sack. What does that mean?

Starting point is 00:44:59 Full sack. I think he's got a full sack. Yeah, it's filled with other things. Credit score 580, not great. Not great. 2001 Jeep Grand Cherokee, he met Bobby Lee in a 7-Eleven. Okay. That's where I meet my black guys.

Starting point is 00:45:15 That's 7-Eleven. Yeah, every time. There he is with his mom. Oh, great. He's cute. He's so cute. Whoa! Like we're surprised he can do that.

Starting point is 00:45:27 I would expect. Yeah, yeah. Oh, he loves sunsets. That one. That's a good honey. That's great. He loves sunsets. How old is he?

Starting point is 00:45:36 He looks like he's. This one's from five years ago. So, all right. It's okay. Give me another one. That's it. But we do. He but he left some of his music in here. They all leave their music. I'm like in the ocean, like Avatar style.

Starting point is 00:45:52 I'm swimming with those. Yeah. There's a mermaid. No, that's not. It's my lover. Hey. Hey. It's my lover.

Starting point is 00:46:01 I'm blue in the ocean. Flying through the ocean. It's my lover. Hey. Hey. It's my lover. Uh. Uh. I'm blue in the ocean. Flying through the ocean, I'm blue. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha More sun, more light, more time to do all the things that make summer so special. And the number one thing that you don't want to be doing all summer, spending hours cooking inside. Bobby and I hate cooking inside. We want to be on the pool together in our floaties.

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Starting point is 00:47:25 Factormeals.com slash bad friends, 50 off. Talkspace. You know what? My dad used to beat me. I know that. I had a lot of trauma growing up. And I went to the best place to get therapy, which is Talkspace.

Starting point is 00:47:39 Yeah. It's really good. It can be challenging to find and meet with a therapist that's not the right fit. Can you agree with that? Yeah. Talkspace, the leading virtual therapy provider makes getting the help you need easy, accessible,

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Starting point is 00:48:06 And I do think people need to talk out some of their problems. You let them fester, you let them bubble up, and then what happens, Bob? Then you scream at the woman at Ralph's. Exactly. And then you end up on the news. Yeah.

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Starting point is 00:49:06 That's what I came up with. I'm applying for the ocean. I'm blue. And that's it. By the way, I fucking- Wow, I love that. That beat is great. He's my number one. Me too.

Starting point is 00:49:22 I think he's my number one. Will you go on a date with him? Yeah. All right, Aaron, we'll set it up. The funniest part is he had the worst credit score in the oldest car, but the beat's so good. We love him. Yeah, yeah. And he looks cute. Just the picture, like every girl. Yeah. Well, he's just his mom,

Starting point is 00:49:32 and I don't know who the other lady was. But the mom is key. But they were happy. Yeah. They were really happy. And that's all that matters. That's all that matters. Are you happy?

Starting point is 00:49:40 I'm happy. Are you happy? I think he looks... Okay, good, yeah. Okay, yeah. Just diverts the question. You think he looks what? I think he looks. Okay, good, yeah. Okay, yeah. Just diverts the question. You think he looks what? I think he looks a lot like our brother.

Starting point is 00:49:50 Okay. He looks like your brother? What? Yeah, you don't see it? No. No. Really? No, I'm just saying he just looks a lot like our brother.

Starting point is 00:49:58 Yeah, but don't say that. Yeah, yeah, don't say that. It reminds me of my brother. Okay, okay, anyway. He doesn't follow the Bad Friends account, so we can't call him, but if he wants to call him. Oh, that's nice too, that he doesn't follow the bad friends account, so we can't call him But if he wants to call that's nice too that he doesn't follow he's not a fan What are you trying to do here you're she's a wedge She doesn't want it to happen. Do you see that swimming in the ocean? I'm blue

Starting point is 00:50:20 Swimming in the ocean. I'm blue. I'm avatar Swimming in the ocean I'm blue. I'm Avatar. Swimming in the ocean I'm blue. Blue. Swimming toward my lover I like it. I like it. That didn't, that didn't. No, swimming toward my lover I do.

Starting point is 00:50:36 I do. I do. Okay. We like them. We like them a lot. Too bad we can't call you. You can't call you guy. So I feel like you're a wedge. I feel like you're being more picky than her. Well, yeah. Why?

Starting point is 00:50:51 Why? Because I'm the sister. Yeah, well, what do you give a shit? Yeah, what do you, you don't even live here. Yeah. No, but I call her. All the time. Yeah, how long?

Starting point is 00:50:59 So when you're in the Philippines, how many days a week do you guys call? We never ever call. Like months will go by? Yeah. It's just texting. Just text. But you text every day. No. All the time. Yeah, how long? So when you're in the Philippines, how many days a week do you guys call? We never ever call. Like months will go by? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:51:07 It's just texting. Just text. But you text every day? No. Like once a week? No. Once a month? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:51:13 Yeah. That's interesting about siblings. How often do you talk to your brother? Like once a month. I call my sister today. I do think we've connected more as our parents have gotten older. Yeah. That is a big piece of it. Yeah. Yeah, because I used to sister today. I do think we've connected more as our parents have gotten older. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:51:25 That is a big piece of it. Yeah. Yeah, because I used to hate Issa. Used to hate her? Why? I just, like, I was just annoyed at her. Like, I would just beat her up and just- Can you beat her up any, you can't beat her up anymore.

Starting point is 00:51:38 Not anymore. No. Because you're stronger than her, aren't you? I wanna see you guys fight so bad. So Issa, do you have a high school love? You're in high school still, right? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You have a senior next year? No, I'm a junior next year.

Starting point is 00:51:53 At 17? No, because I had to repeat a grade. Why? Which one? I had to repeat seventh grade. Why? Because I was surprised. Baby, CD. I wasn't dumb! Okay.

Starting point is 00:52:04 I wasn't dumb, guys. A, B, C, D. I wasn't dumb! Okay. I wasn't dumb, guys. One, two, three, four. Hey. Yeah. You're being mean. I am? Yeah. You're being mean.

Starting point is 00:52:14 Oh, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry, I was just seeing if you could finish it. Say sorry. Can you finish it? A, B, okay. No, you have to say sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, Issa. You were depressed?

Starting point is 00:52:23 I was really depressed. It was your emo stage. Yeah. Yeah. I feel sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You saw you were depressed. I was really depressed. It was your emo stage Yeah, yeah, I feel you. So you never went to school. Yeah. Well, I Yeah, I went to school for like half of the school year and my school is like they were doing it was mental Month mental health month and then we were doing this this forum thing and I was like, oh, I'm gonna answer it properly. So I answered it properly, and then they called my parents. And said what? They're like, oh, you need to get your daughter

Starting point is 00:52:52 out of school. Oh, because it was that bad? Mm-hmm. What were you, I mean, sometimes we talk about serious things. I was just wondering, like, I mean, are you through all that hardship? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:53:02 Okay, what happened? Did you go to therapy? I mean, what happened? Yeah, I went to therapy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was on antidepressants. Which one? I don't know, I forgot.

Starting point is 00:53:11 But I forgot that, I mean, I remember that it was a lot. I was on it. I took them for a while. You did? Yeah. Yeah. I hated it. Cause your parents are, you know,

Starting point is 00:53:21 I know your mother well. Your father's a lawyer. A judge. A judge. A judge, oh fuck. Huge difference. He was a lawyer when I met him, no? Yeah, he was. I didn't know he upgraded to judge.

Starting point is 00:53:32 He's a judge now? That's amazing. Wow. So your father's a judge and you just have good genes. You mean, cause your honey is, your mother is hilarious. She's crazy. And crazy and fun. We love her. We love her.

Starting point is 00:53:45 We love her. And I love your daddy, he's very stoic. So you have good family, right? You have a beautiful sister and two brothers. You have a dog at home? I have a lot of dogs at home. How many? I have six, no seven.

Starting point is 00:54:02 Seven dogs, holy shit. That's a lot, any of them fat? Yeah. Yeah. Do you know those dogs or no? I grew up with three of the dogs, but then when I left, they got more. It's too many dogs.

Starting point is 00:54:17 Way too many. I mean, it's too many dogs. What's the max dog, three? In America? Yeah. The most pets you can have, I think, is three or four in California. Well, no, no, no.

Starting point is 00:54:28 Three is number of dogs. Four is number of combo pet, to me. You can have as many as you want. I don't think so. Really? Yeah. Los Angeles County Legal Limit for Dog Household is four. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:54:42 All right, but that's what I'm saying. But to me, three is the most dogs you should have, and if you have a cat, that's it. Four, you're done. Four animals and you're done. We have five. I'm gonna call the cops. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:54:56 The legal limit for the number of dogs holding this household in Chicago is five. Illinois is fine. Wow. Good way to go, Chicago. Let me ask you ladies something real quick, just about our house. How long does cat vomit need to sit before you clean it?

Starting point is 00:55:08 Yeah, what's the timeline? It's a timeline because you know you've been doing three or four days now, and you are you waiting it for to harden or what? Have you seen the house? It's clean. We cleaned it last night. Is that how you talk to it exactly? That's exactly what it is. That's insane. Yeah, I don't charge rent right all right I provide them whatever they fucking want right and that's the way they talk to me, dude I'm just saying why are you complaining? There's no there's no mess, okay? But I'm just saying that for two days. There was caught the cat vomit by my bedroom door How how what you could you can't clean it? Oh?

Starting point is 00:55:43 Here we go. I know. It's gotten so out of control. It's bad. It's really bad. It's so bad, dude. Because aren't they your cats too? I'm so angry. I can't control myself.

Starting point is 00:56:03 Oh my God. So, you know, I don't want to get Oh my god. So um You know, I don't want to get rageful right now and I do I want you to you really do Okay, well pushing all your button. All right. All right, so Okay, here we go, all right, so number one right when you were in high school, right? All right. How long did you live in my house? like Okay. All right. How long did you live in my house? Like three years. Yeah. Did you pay any rent? No. Okay. Yeah. That's big. That's huge. Yeah. Yeah. Whenever we go out and eat, right, do I pay every meal? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Have you ever picked up a tab?

Starting point is 00:56:37 No. Yeah. Did I invite you to be a part of one of the biggest podcasts on planet earth. That's right. I think it's Andrew did. I did. Yeah, I did. But that being said, you're my partner, so we did too. Yeah, yeah. Beep boop boop beep. All right, so, all right.

Starting point is 00:56:56 How is this relevant though? Wow. Wow. You know what I mean? I'm just asking, right? I'm just asking, can you please- Because we're talking about cats and their vomit? Yeah, yeah, can you please when you see that you know I mean because you know I've been so generous and open right then

Starting point is 00:57:12 Maybe clean it fast. I do clean it, but you let it dry for two weeks Yeah, cuz you have to let it dry because I don't want to get it when it's wet It's gross how often do cats throw up a lot your our cats throw up a lot. Why is that? I overfeed them right okay, so it's mainly your fault so you What? I think you need to start from where the problem is where's the problem You overfeed the cats. Heavy. Beep boop boop boop beep boop bop boop boop boop boop So many buttons you guys are pushing.

Starting point is 00:57:52 Yeah yeah yeah. What are you talking about? No I wanna say something okay? And yes I, you know, Gobi and Julio, they're getting fat, why? Because of you! Wow. Yeah yeah. Why? You feed them a whole chicken. I know. From Zanku?

Starting point is 00:58:08 No, not from Zanku. What is it? From Kismet Rotary Chicken. Oh, Kismet Rotisserie? Rotisserie. Oh, delicious. One of the best, right? Yeah, it's delicious. I buy them a whole chicken. Yeah, sure. And I feed that to them. That makes sense. I'm the bad guy.

Starting point is 00:58:23 But then Atikalai said you can't feed them that. Yeah, we're co-owners. Why does her, why does she trump what I have to fucking, what I do? I'm so mad I can't even talk. Why, how come, it's 50-50 right? Because it's Atta Kalai. Yeah, it's what, what, she's the empress? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:58:43 No she's not, I'm the king king they both said yes at the same time I know do you not respect him at all as the king? I'm like what she's the king yeah, Okay, so what am I in games of throne? You said games of throne, right? Game of Thrones? Yeah, yeah. No, it's called games of throne. Here on Bad Friends, it's games of throne.

Starting point is 00:59:11 All right, you saw game of throne, right? Who am I in games of throne? You're like, who's that? The Cersei's son. Oh yeah. Joffrey. Yeah. I'm Joffrey.

Starting point is 00:59:23 You're all talk, but then it's... No bite, all bite? No bite. No bite. You think that's Bobby? That's me the evil one Okay, and who's Kaila then in it? I guess Cersei. He's Cersei. You're right. She's evil as well. Probably worse Significantly, you know what I am dude in that world Jon Snow Yeah You're you're Jon Snow. I'm the Snow. I'm Tyrion Lannister. There it is. Yeah. Little guy. That makes sense.

Starting point is 00:59:48 Really good advice. I'm the hand wise, smart, helpful. Yeah. And by the way, hot. Tyrion Lannister. Yeah. You think you think Peter Dinklage is hot. Yeah. Would you? Yeah. You would date Peter Dinklage. No, who is that?

Starting point is 01:00:06 That's Andreas for sure. No, that's Bobby. You think that's Bobby? Yeah, that's Andreas for sure, you're not right. You're trying to put that up, you're trying to say that's him. No, no, no. They say it. No, no, no, you say it.

Starting point is 01:00:17 I just. Dude. Beep boop boop boop beep. Ah. Oh my God. Yeah, that's you, dude. And then you know who Carlos is? Ramsey Bolton.

Starting point is 01:00:30 Oh yeah. Yeah, you're Ramsey Bolton. Oh, the crack addict? Ramsey, you are. Yeah, you're Ramsey Bolton. Who's McCone? I already know where he is, because I rewatched the series.

Starting point is 01:00:42 Who is? I went from one to eight again. You did? Yeah. Who is he? He's fucking the Baker. The fat Baker kid. Yeah, yeah. Just not like an NPC, not really in the show. You know what I mean? That's you, dude. Like what's his name? You know, he has night terrors. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. So that's you McCone. Yeah, let's hear it. Can you do an English accent? What should I say Pretty good, then. We'll be a baker. Yeah. Yeah, we're okay. We're at a baby. You're back again Okay, we're at a bakery. We're that's really good. We're at a bakery or a bakery ding-a-ding-a-ding. Hello, sir. Oh, hello

Starting point is 01:01:22 What do you have fresh? We've got some fresh buns right here for you. What kind of buns? Grain grain buns Honey they have grain buns. I don't like this guy's grain buns. The grain buns are fucking disgusting. They're terrible. Yeah What else have you got? Yeah, what else do you got? We got a croissant We love France. Bullshit. Show us the croissant. Oh, we love France. Bullshit.

Starting point is 01:01:46 Show us the croissant. I only have grain buns. I was lying. Our English kids, what does our English kids want? Hello. What do you two want to eat? Yeah, what do you want to eat? Order from the man.

Starting point is 01:01:57 Order from the man. Go on. I don't want them grain buns. Well, her accent is there. And our other daughter who's a little eccentric, and got the tism. You want grain buns or not? Yeah, you want grain buns or not?

Starting point is 01:02:14 Do you guys have an English muffin? She's really good at talking. Our oldest one is. Yeah, she went to boarding school. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Yeah, see you at the boarding school. Sorry lads. Yeah, yeah. All right, outside with you. Outside.

Starting point is 01:02:30 Way outside. Yeah, yeah. Excuse us. So funny. So funny. That's actually pretty good. Yours was actually really good. Very good, yeah.

Starting point is 01:02:37 Why didn't you try? I can't do accents. Yeah. Yeah you can, you've done them on the show before. You've done it on the show before. Maybe you should come to London with us. You don't want to. No.

Starting point is 01:02:46 Good for you. He needs a visa too. Okay. Oh. Okay. Oh, rain on the fucking parade. Rain on the parade, yeah. Jesus Christ, just trying to have a good.

Starting point is 01:02:54 Pretty good English accent, McCone. Thank you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not bad. Have you heard Carlos do it? It's pretty good, right? Costa Powers? Yeah.

Starting point is 01:03:01 Shagadelic, baby. I hate it so much. Andres you do one I can't even do an American one Let's hear an American accent. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What's all man? Welcome to the Trump store. Say hey, welcome to the Trump story. Yeah. Hey, welcome to Fire it again. Hey, what store is this? I'll say it again. Hey, what store is this? What store is this? Oh, welcome to the Trump store.

Starting point is 01:03:26 What? Welcome to the Trump store. This is the only job you could get. You realize that, right? Yeah, yeah. Be careful because this is the only fucking job you're gonna have in America. Honey, honey, what a beautiful store.

Starting point is 01:03:36 I love this store. Yeah, yes. You know what? I've always wanted a Trump poncho. Well, let's get you one. Yeah, yeah. Excuse me, sir? Yep.

Starting point is 01:03:44 What up? Yes. Do you have Trump-Ponchos? Do you have Ponchos here? Oh, we have. What? Oh, we have Ponchos. Are you, you don't sound like you're from here.

Starting point is 01:03:54 Are you from here? What, where were you born, man? In Louisiana. Really? What part? Vato-oosh. What? But she, he said Vato-oosh. Born man in Louisiana What part

Starting point is 01:04:07 What he said Vato who's that oh yeah, where's Vato who's in Louisiana Is that new New Orleans? Yeah, where is that? Sir your fire fire dude this guy I call ice call ice now. Yeah You do realize that you literally could work no other job besides with us. No other jobs, yeah, yeah. Like this is the only one. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:04:30 Can you imagine? Yeah. Without us, where would he be? I don't know. You know where I tried to go last night? Oh, tell me where you were. I waited in line and we couldn't get in. What?

Starting point is 01:04:36 Jumbo's. What? Clown room. I haven't been in so many years. Who'd you go with? Well, we didn't go, we never got in. We walked in line. Oh, wow, wow.

Starting point is 01:04:44 My buddy, you know Sean Malto? Yeah. Yeah, Malto and I were gonna go with? Well, we didn't go, we never got in. We walked the line. Oh wow, wow. My buddy, you know Sean Malto? Yeah. Yeah, Malto and I were gonna go with our ladies and my cousin and nothing. We walked, it used to be you could walk in, pull up Jumbo's, one of my favorite. You used to be able to walk in, there was a huge line. It sucked.

Starting point is 01:04:58 And so we left, this place is the best. It's the best. I went, I Googled, I've been watching a lot of Sean videos. Malto? Yeah. Yeah, he's so talented. No, we love him. Yeah. He's the best. I went, I Googled, I, I've been watching a lot of Sean videos. Malto? Yeah. Yeah. He's so talented. No, we love him. Yeah. He's the man. David Lynch claimed he wrote Mulholland Drive at Jumbo's. Shut the fuck up. That's amazing. Is that a real story? He wrote Mulholland Drive at Jumbo's. Oh, Blue Velvet. Reportedly wrote the screenplay for Blue Velvet at Jumbo's clown room. Better movie, I thought. Even better, yeah.

Starting point is 01:05:25 Blue Velvet's so good. I know, but I love Melandra. Me too. Such a good movie. But Dennis Hopper and Blue Velvet, what a creep. It's a great movie. I'm just saying, when he said, I love, You guys like David Lynch?

Starting point is 01:05:34 I don't know. They have no idea who that is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You never heard of David Lynch? How could they, how? How could you? I don't wanna get in this argument. How could she know?

Starting point is 01:05:42 I just don't wanna get into this. She's wearing a shirt of a band she doesn't even know. I know, I know. Actually, she did know Santeria. He did know Santeria, yeah. He was a very, well, it's a one-of-a-kind director. When you watch a David Lynch movie, you immediately know it's him.

Starting point is 01:06:00 Style. Butter is like popular movies. Blue Velvet, Elephant Man. That Gen Z would know. That's the problem, the problem. That's the problem now. Well. Well, they would know Twin Peaks because Twin Peaks They remade into a show. Yeah, you guys know Twin Twin Peaks There's a new show when was the new Twin Peaks out? Yeah, it's not that long ago. You know that alien baby. I have in the living room I don't know if you've seen him. That's a from a razor head Yeah, I'm a very big fan.

Starting point is 01:06:26 You guys wouldn't know any of this stuff. Yeah. Yeah. But he's not... And the Coen brothers you don't know. Coen brothers? No. Wow.

Starting point is 01:06:34 It's crazy. Well. What do you mean what? Well, it's like who's... They're not film fans. Well, their generation has... You know what they were watching the other day? Oh my God, it was driving me crazy.

Starting point is 01:06:42 Oh my. Yeah, yeah. They don't know this, right? But they're watching some sort of like- Overcompensating. Yeah. What is that? Is that TV show? It's some Gen Z story.

Starting point is 01:06:49 Yeah, and they were laughing. It's a movie or TV show? Yeah. TV show. But we were watching an episode with Bowen Yang. Yeah. And his podcast, I was in Titu Bobby, got so mad. No, I didn't.

Starting point is 01:07:01 I get that. Yeah, you did. That's insane. I'm a big bone. I bet you got mad. Okay. Wait didn't. I get that. Yeah, you did. That's insane. I'm a big bone. I bet you got mad. Okay. Wait, hold on, hold on. Let me see the show.

Starting point is 01:07:10 What is the show about? It's about this gay guy. No! That's too controversial for me. Wait a minute. Yeah, yeah. A new Gen Z show about a gay guy? Yeah.

Starting point is 01:07:23 Yeah. And where is it on? Prime? Amazon Prime. Amazon, yeah. It's so funny. It's a good show. So it's about a gay guy? Yeah. Yeah. And where is it on? Prime? Amazon Prime. Amazon, yeah. Yeah, yeah. It's so funny. It's a good show. So it's about a gay guy.

Starting point is 01:07:30 Yeah, but he's still in the closet and he's just trying to figure out, he's already in college and he's like trying to figure out how to come out. Coming of the age. Yeah, coming of the age. Yeah, yeah. And it's so fun.

Starting point is 01:07:39 What are you concerned about, honey? You should watch it. Honey, what are you, with these kids today. This is once again, this is Hollywood pushing a gay narrative to the world, dude. Making everybody gay, dude. Is that guy gay? Yeah.

Starting point is 01:07:54 Is that guy gay? Is that dude gay? Yeah. So it's about him coming out. Does he ever come out? He does. Yeah. In the first season?

Starting point is 01:08:05 Mm-hmm. Really blowing their load there, huh? Jumping the shark. It's a big show though, big popular show. People must love it, I bet. Yeah, they must love it, yeah. I think you and I, I think Andrew, I think we're out of touch.

Starting point is 01:08:16 No, I wouldn't say- Yeah, I think we are. I wouldn't say we're out of touch. I'd say we are- We're stuck in the past. I feel like Andrew is more open though than you. Ooh, he's gonna. Beep boop boop boop beep boop boop beep beep.

Starting point is 01:08:27 What do you mean? Because you got so mad, you told us never to mention Bowen Yang ever. All right, cut all that out. Don't cut that out, that's hilarious. No, I didn't, I love him, I'm a big fan of his. No, first of all, we're leaving that in. And let me tell you why.

Starting point is 01:08:44 Why? Because you can, first of all, we're leaving that in. And let me tell you why. Why? Because you can then be honest, that doesn't mean you don't like Bo and Yang, it just means you're a little jealous. And that's okay. I'm jealous of his career. That's what I'm fucking saying. He's in Wicked, he's in everything. I never got that.

Starting point is 01:08:56 And that's out of jealousy. And I'm a bitch. You're not a bitch. I'm a loser. You're not a loser. And I'll kill myself. Please don't. Okay, is that what you want?

Starting point is 01:09:04 This is what you fucking did. Look what you did look what you guys did bow and yang or death Yeah, choose choose look at him. He's the future wait a minute. Those are the same things bone Liang would be death for you, so it's either bow and yang or you No, you said bow and yang or death choose bow and yang or my death choose bow and yang or his death Yeah, he's super talented. He's the right guy for the right time. Is he spitting in that man's mouth? Yeah, yeah. I don't think I'm gonna watch that show.

Starting point is 01:09:30 I love him. I don't think I'm gonna watch it. Okay, so don't say that. I didn't mean it in that way. Okay. But you said to me, and I'm gonna say this now, I'm gonna call you out, dude. What?

Starting point is 01:09:43 To get you riled up. Give it to me. She said Bowen Yang has a bigger podcast than ours. There are numbers to support that's not true, fucking all. Wait, what? There are numbers to support that that's not true at all. Is that true? Cause I feel like maybe it is.

Starting point is 01:09:59 No way. What's the name of their show? They just get a lot of like the A-list celebrities that I know of. No, you know what it really is? What? What it is is this. I'll tell you what, she does this.

Starting point is 01:10:14 It's sabotage. It's sabotage. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What did that just say? Yeah. I want to ask AI if Bad Friends was a show for Gen Z. Yes, it's a popular show with Gen Z. The Bad Friends podcast featuring Theo Vaughn and Bobby Lee.

Starting point is 01:10:26 Great. I'm sorry. Why do you guys always pick on Bobby, do you think? We don't pick on him. They don't fuck with me at all. They don't say hi. They don't fuck with me at all. They don't say hi. They don't fuck with you at all. Yeah, they don't say hi, they don't do nothing.

Starting point is 01:10:49 If I'm upstairs, they're not upstairs. I say hi. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Just wake up at 4 p.m. Okay, that's my lifestyle. Let me ask you something, right? When's the last time you give me a hug? You don't like hugs.

Starting point is 01:10:59 I do love hugs. He does from you, he says he does. He only likes hugs from people he trusts. Yeah, yeah. So yes, he doesn't want a hug only likes hugs from people he trusts yeah, so yes He doesn't want to hug from there's no high five. There's no you know me. It's okay Good morning. Hi And just so says she'll go say something like the dogs are fat What right oh we are nice to you no

Starting point is 01:11:45 Then like who other people in the family nice to you. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Mm-hmm. You don't think that's sweet for her to say be safe? That's not what she said. How'd you say it? Be safe! That's not what. I'm like, what dude? That's fucking rude. No, but that's nicer, cause then I would be like, I'd be devastated if you weren't safe. No, that's very sweet.

Starting point is 01:11:56 I honestly believe if I died, you wouldn't cry. I would cry. What do you guys call each other? What's your nickname for each other? You have nicknames? Yeah. I used to call her Bilat, which means pussy. Oh, very good.

Starting point is 01:12:09 What a good term. That's nice, that's sweet. Sister love. Yeah, yeah, sister. What did you call her? I didn't call her this, but people used to call her this because she was like the tallest one in our place.

Starting point is 01:12:20 She was called Agda, which is also called Capri. What's Agda mean? It's also like Capri. Agda is Capri, it's the same as the tree man. Oh really? Mm-hmm. Oh so you're the tree man. You know what, you know who you are

Starting point is 01:12:34 in the fucking Game of Thrones? What? The three-eyed raven, what's his kids name? Bart or no, Branson, Bran. Bran. Yeah, you're the three-eyed raven, dude. That's cool, though. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:12:47 Wait, what was the first word, not Capri, the Bogdak? What is it? Agda. Agda, what does that mean? Just the same. Just the same thing. It's like interchangeable. Why do they have two names?

Starting point is 01:12:56 I don't know. I think Capri is for Tagalog, and then Agda is for Bisaya. This whole fucking country's confused. I know. They got different languages with the same, they have the same mythical creature but called something else.

Starting point is 01:13:12 Well we have it. What? Bigfoot is also known as Sasquatch, they are one and the same. Yeah. So yeah, you can have called two different things. I've never met, have you ever seen a real Bigfoot or no? Oh yeah.

Starting point is 01:13:24 Okay, we're I Was in pocahontas. Oh, yeah that story. I remember tell it please you guys know pocahontas. Oh remember Okay, let's say we're in a campfire We have marshmallows and we have tents set up Midnight this old timey You know I mean man approaches the campfire. Hello there, ladies. Exactly. Hello there, young Chinese boy. Where'd you come from, sir?

Starting point is 01:13:48 I'm from way out yonder. Where did you come from? Oh, we're just, you know, my family, me and my daughters were camping here. Where did you guys, where have you come from? We came just from the big city of Los Angeles, sir. I mean, before that, where are you from from? Right, right.

Starting point is 01:14:05 We're all from Cleveland. Really? Originally, yes. You don't look like Clevelanders. Yeah, well, there's a lot of sun we got. You know what I mean? We're field workers. Well, next time wear sunglasses,

Starting point is 01:14:15 your eyes won't end up like that. Ha ha ha ha! Already. Get the fuck outta here, man. What? Yeah, you came here to tell a story. I came with guns! So you're gonna tell us- Listen here. Tell us a story. I came with guns. So you're gonna tell us a story.

Starting point is 01:14:25 Listen here. Tell us a story. Came here with guns. Are you part of the KKK? Part of it? I'm the whole damn thing. I'm K. KKK is down the fucking street.

Starting point is 01:14:36 All right. Kanye, come here. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Let me tell you something. I saw myself some Sasquatch one time. You ever seen him? No. Yeah. Let me tell you something. I saw myself some Sasquatch one time. You ever seen him? No.

Starting point is 01:14:48 No. Big, big man. Beautiful man. Yeah? I was walking through Pocatello. Pocatello, where is that, sir? Idaho. Oh.

Starting point is 01:14:57 Fixing myself to get myself a sasparilla. I wandered around for hours and hours. Wow. Didn't find anywhere to wet my whistle. Anyway sir, it's bedtime. Girls go to sleep. Oh you'll wanna stay up for this. Oh I can stay up.

Starting point is 01:15:14 Sir. Right. So nowhere would wet my whistle. Honey, sweetie, don't ask that question. Yeah, all right. Sir, come on, they're kids. I wanted to wet my whistle. Okay, an actual whistle, you know,

Starting point is 01:15:32 they wet the tip so they blow on it. Oh, I was looking for a hooker to give me some head. I couldn't find a good hooker. Okay, sir, that's enough. We have an early morning, we're gonna go fishing fishing They're gonna hear it from me or somewhere else. Okay. Anyway guys, you know, we love whistles now. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, so here I was strolling around Pocatello. Yeah Looking for somewhere to wet my whistle. I Didn't find it sir. Okay, but I sat on the curb. Yeah and thought to myself

Starting point is 01:16:03 Well, this thing ain't gonna beat itself. So I pulled my pants down and I started whappin' my wiener against my legs. That's the Sasquatch call ya. We can imagine the sound effects are, okay. Here, listen, I'll do it right now. Here, girls, listen up. Listen up, girls. And of of course here comes Sasquatch yeah he

Starting point is 01:16:30 loves it he's hungry for it what is that is that him is his penis rubbing against his legs I make that noise he recalls yeah some would think he was walking but he wasn't oh no that's just his penis yeah yeah I'll get clanking against his legs. I make that noise he recalls. Some would think he was walking, but he wasn't. Oh no, that's just his penis. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll get clanking against his big old hairy legs. Yeah, yeah. And you're still doing yours, sir?

Starting point is 01:16:52 Yeah, we're communicating. Yeah, you're communicating that way, okay. And his goes. Yeah, and what does yours sound like, sir? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay. Is that how you call a South Squad? That's how you call him, he came here. Anyway, good night.

Starting point is 01:17:04 Anyway, good night. Good night, sir. Good night. Good night. Sleep tight. Sleep tight, girls. Wow, wow. By the way, that is a Sasquatch call, you know that?

Starting point is 01:17:15 You know they say if you're naked in the woods, he'll appear. If you have clothes on, he won't be there. I've done it before, he doesn't appear. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Never. Yeah. That is what they say, attract Sasquatch. Leave gifts, make noise.

Starting point is 01:17:29 Does get naked's not on there? Those fellas at school tricked me. Yeah, yeah, it's not on there. Can I tell you a street joke? Can I tell you a Gilbert Godfrey street joke? I love it. And can I do it like Gilbert? Cause rest in peace, one of the greatest of all time.

Starting point is 01:17:44 You're gonna like this, girls. All right, but honestly ladies, girls, if you don't laugh, if it's not funny. Okay. All right, so let's go straight face. Oh yeah. We'll all go straight face, don't even smile. Unless it's funny.

Starting point is 01:17:56 That's right. It's okay, ready, here we go. No, don't, you're smiling now. Don't fucking smile. Stop, you're smiling now. This is a Gilbert Godfrey's joke. Two Jewish men in a park. The one Jewish guy says, I'm so old.

Starting point is 01:18:10 I'm so old. I'm so old. The other guy says, you're not that old. Yes, I am. You don't even know how old I am. He goes, I bet you I can tell you how old you are. How? He says, take off your pants

Starting point is 01:18:26 He goes I'm not taking off my pants. I'm in the park take them off so he does Then he says now take off your underwear. I'm not taking off my underwear. I'm in the park He says take them off. He does Then he says bend over and stick your thumb right in your asshole. I'm not sticking my thumb in my asshole or at the park. Just do it. And he does. And the other man says you're 95. And he pulls his thumb out of his ass and says how did you know that? He said you told me yesterday. Thank you for being a bad friend. Yeah! Woo-hoo!

Starting point is 01:19:26 Yeah!

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