Bad Friends - Rudy Runs for VP & The Podcast Guys Tour!

Episode Date: August 17, 2020

Bobby breaks a tooth at a Nirvana mosh pit. Andrew gets a condom from a guy who got it from a guy. Rudy names Kate Hanson, Mark Panish, and Chuck Tonti. Thank you: http://buyraycon.com/badfriends & http://hellotushy.com/badfriends & http://buffy.co code badfriends & DoorDash code: badfriends Subscribe to our YouTube: http://bit.ly/BadFriendsYouTube More Bobby Lee TigerBelly: https://www.youtube.com/tigerbelly Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bobbyleelive/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/bobbyleelive Tickets: https://bobbyleelive.com/ More Andrew Santino Whiskey Ginger: https://www.youtube.com/andrewsantinowhiskeyginger Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino/ Twitter: https://Twitter.com/cheetosantino Tickets: http://www.andrewsantino.com/ More Bad Friends iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-friends/id1496265971 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/badfriendspod/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/badfriends_pod Official Website: http://badfriendspod.com/ Opening Credits and Branding: https://www.instagram.com/joseph_faria & https://www.instagram.com/jenna_sunday Credit Sequence Music: http://bit.ly/RocomMusic // https://www.instagram.com/rocom Character Design: https://www.instagram.com/jeffreymyles Produced by George Kimmel & Bryce Hallock - 7EQUIS Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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It's everything you need to make a podcast all in one place. Where do we have to go Bob? Download the free anchor app or go to anchor.fm to get started. You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots? Bad friends. Andreas, can you hear me right now? Yes, yes again. Yes again. Yes again. Yes again. I can hear you just fine. I'm down here with five of the mouse We are going on a traveling adventure today. I am going to be riding on a matchstick Down a river. I'm going to be in a riverbed riding down on a matchstick and today I might eat a whole blade of grass That's my Andres. Yeah, that's good. Is that good? Yeah, I'm a Latin ex-boy I come from a span and now I work now. I work for George for minimal amounts of pay George takes all my monies

You just sound like you know in every western there's like that seventh guy. That's a Mexican guy Yeah, we don't need to we don't need to rob the bank tomorrow. Are we sure? Are we sure it's gonna be safe? Yeah, tonight we can dance and sing and drink our whiskeys. You know me. I was thinking maybe I could kiss one of the girls Yeah, I love that guy. I love the good the bad and ugly ever see that movie love good bad and the ugly What a good movie such a good movie. Do you like movies like that? Well, I just like certain directors. I like Sergio Leone a lot. Okay. Yeah, I like spaghetti the his stuff But spaghetti westerns once upon a time in the West was great. He directed that. Yep Good bad and the ugly he directed that really good really good stuff. Do you like do you like do you like do you like do you like

I gotta get in the mood bud. It's not against you It's it's I gotta get that engine running So it's like me attacking you it's just I'm just trying to get some vocal exercises done So I can get in the mood to do it, right? Do you like do you like do you like? Hey, we don't need to wrap the bank tomorrow compadre But um, you know, uh, I'll tell you something right now. I mean a funk. I'll tell you why because a couple of things Number one something happened yesterday in the house. I like to talk about May I yeah, of course may I I haven't I haven't I do you like do you like do you like

So, um, there's some sabotage going in my house so The other day I I was writing something on a piece of paper with a felt pen Right, and I asked Jules. I go hey Jules if I write on this paper Will the felt pen seep in and and mark the table of course it will yeah, but she says Uncle Tito. No Uncle Tito. No, it's impossible. Why did you ask her? I thought she was in school Yeah, she's used writing implements before I do. Did you not take felt bleeding 101 you didn't take that class So then

Yesterday I did it again. I had a piece of paper and I just put I had to put some numbers down a code It seeped in it marked the table, right? Why don't use your phone? Because I had to put in the code on the phone you hit on speakerphone and go to your notes Oh, I didn't think of that. I always go to notes. What what table did you ruin the dining table? Yeah? Oh my god So then I so then I write I write Seeps in I get yelled at by my girlfriend rightfully so rightfully so and then I go to My girlfriend I go but fucking you know, she told me that it was okay, and she goes no I didn't I never I never said what you have to say for yourself. You don't have to say for yourself. Did you tell him it was okay?

Did you tell him it was okay? Rudy did you tell him it was okay? No, I said it might stay in the table and then he said no, it's fine Who do you believe? Who do you believe let me close my eyes? Say the arguments one more time so So Rudy I'm gonna ask you without looking at you because I don't want to influence you by looking at you Okay, did you tell Tito Bobby that it was okay to draw on the table? No, I said the opposite time out You told him not to do it. Yeah

Bobby did Rudy tell you tell me and you're and I want to know what position you have and what side you're on because it's gonna Really dictate the way our relationship is going. That's a side note. Let's shoot it down to fancy be fancy be who's guilty Bobby. Oh boy. Okay. Well, you know, it's so funny fancy be because yes No, it's so funny. No, no, no, you just fucked yourself yourself because it's so funny that you say that because yesterday what you're on a Zoom meeting with a bunch of guys that you want to write a movie with me in it and get me get me involved now You're out. Oh, bye. I can't fucking believe you fancy be Wait a minute. What movie are you guys writing? We're writing a movie. You're in it. Okay. We're writing a movie together You're in it. All right. Can I uh, do you have to understand where you are?

Well, we're we got about your fucking actions Yeah, I'm in Rudy. Sorry, Bobby. Thank you. That's exactly right. We have him down here, but he's behind plexiglass I apologize by the way fancy be I apologize. I'll tell you why I apologize because he's viable to us He's viable. Not only that is um, you know this morning. I had a discussion with my girlfriend and Um, you know, David Spade was on my podcast saw it loved it great pod I'm I'm dead serious great pot. All right great pod, but he said something he goes Nobody really basically just Nobody really knows who you are. You're hard to get to know to you. Yeah

That's and I'm like and then I kind of been thinking about that and I realized yeah, who am I? You haven't an existential crisis. I don't know who I am why I do what I do why I treat people the way I do Oh, this is great. Who did this? David Spade did this? Yeah. Thank you. And now and now no, I'm being real So am I and so it's like I'm not really in a funny mood. I'm more in a crisis mode. No, call it introspective I'm very introspective right now. Yeah, you know, you're think okay, so let's say this. Yeah, look at look at her Look at her. Look at her. Look at how fucking sour she is. Are you really pissed off? No Are you thinking about the fucking marker thing? Yeah, she is. Yeah, what did I tell you because here's the thing you're right I'm I fucking I'm the one that says it's impossible and she said Tito. Don't do that. Don't do it. I did that, right?

But when I got yelled at right, I turned it fucking her and I said in front of my girlfriend I go didn't you tell me that I needed some backup? Well, I needed her to lie On my behalf, dude, would you ever would you ever do that for him? Would you back him up? Yeah? But why didn't you do it? Let me one time you back me up one time You've been living in my fucking house for six months when the one's the last time you back me up every time you back her up I always back you anti-colonial. Is he gonna be safe? Is he gonna be responsible? I always say, yeah Yeah, that's a vague. Oh, you know, that's a vague thing. I want specific things Next time next time I do something wrong

Specifically a certain act that I did that I got in trouble for Even if I'm on the wrong, I need you to back me up because that tells me that you're a part of the fucking group Yeah, that tells me apart part of the gang and also it gives it tells me a lot Okay, you gotta back him up. I'm gonna back me up. You promise. Yeah. All right. Say say repeat after me. Say I I Rudy Jules Will always back up Tito Bobby will always back up Tito Bobby even if it's a lie if it's a lie Even if it's a lie even if it's a lie and I get deported because of the lie And I get deported because of the lie. Very good. There we go. That's great. And that you have that's a that's called in America, baby

That's called a verbal contract Okay, hey, can I can I show you something I'm very excited about this is for Rudy, baby. Listen up. Okay, uh-oh Oh boy wrote a song for Rudy. Listen to this Rudy Rudy you want to be my girlfriend girlfriend? I'm gonna love you to the world and You don't know what you're missing. I got the prescription. I know what I'm giving Rudy Rudy You want to be my girlfriend girlfriend? I'm gonna love you to the world and you don't know what you're missing I got the prescription. I know what I'm doing. No, I ain't gonna change it up swear. I'm loyal. Tell us done Hold this where I'm from before me. Yes. Why I need your love gotta make me for you showing signs

I'm looking up above. I know I'm cross the country, but I'll fly you here. That's like a dub only 17 But I'll be 18 in a couple months drunk off of your love, but it's a long time. I'm 21 My life is where it should be. I'ma give you the world an answer. If you don't know what I mean by you design Our couple Benz drugs. Hey, Julie, Juliana, Juliana What do you think of that? You know, she has 28,000 followers on Instagram now. What? Yeah, that's more than most of our friends. I don't know And she's like I she goes I don't care Yeah, it don't mean much to me. Do you engage with anybody? Yeah, I talked to them and they talk about anime

I know yes I talked to them they talked to me about anime. Yeah, first of all, how did you did you like that song or no? It's nice But you don't you have no interest in in that boy No, okay based on the song She doesn't want to date a rapper based on the song. What ethnicity is the person singing white white? No, no, no He's not he's a black dude Mm-hmm. That's a black guy that is it's a black guy. That's a black guy. You know what what shame on you for not knowing. Yeah

Don't know what I mean by you designer couple Benz drugs Hey, Juliana, I need you to make your world amazing Swear to God that I'm a treat and I've never fell in love But once we meet I'm guaranteed to got a heart that's standing face I got some flaws. I won't mislead you. Rudy. Rudy. You want to be my girlfriend? This is great Do you want to be my girlfriend? You don't want to be that guy's girlfriend? No, he says so many. You know what first of all, he doesn't cuss

He says he wants to treat you better than you've ever been treated He says he lives across the country, but he wants to get you a plane ticket to come meet him What does he live? I don't know. He didn't say he just said I don't live I live across the country But I'll fly you out here like a dove. Yeah. Yeah. I listened to that song like 19 times in the shower this morning I listened to it. That's weird on loop. Oh, it's a little weird. I was Rudy Yeah, it's not that yeah But so root is also somebody on on her direct message goes I want her to be my girlfriend So guys are hitting her up. Are you engaging in any of these guys that are trying to be your boyfriend or no?

No, yeah, good. You don't need any of that shit. You don't need anything. It's gross You focus on school and life, right? Yeah. Yeah, she really is a really good girl I've she I mean what what hold are you know? 18 when I was 18. Oh my god piece of shit. I was a piece of human garbage same What a turd what a turd. I didn't know who what was going on ever just was either Partying I didn't pay attention anything. Yeah. I was just on drugs and drinking. Yeah. Yeah You probably you you you have a good keen mindset of what's going on. Who did Joe Biden pick as his running mate? um

It's the black woman in perfect. No, no, no. Fuck that Fuck that. Give me the name or you're gonna make our households look like shit I forgot You did. Yeah, give her some hints. Okay. Her first name starts with the k Let's go last name h All right, I'll give you the first two initials of the first k a last light name h a Kate yes, Kate. Yes

He Son yes, Kate Hansen at Hansen Kate Hansen. Very good. Very good. Let's let go. Let's let's let's This is very good. So let's let's go with this. Yeah, let's go with this. All right. So what is the The current vice president's name I don't know. Okay. Well, we'll play start the game the first initial right and m right last right Last initial p. So go ahead M. I is the first last p e ma

Mark mark. Go ahead. This is good. Mark. What's his last name? p p Pay You're doing it. You're sounding it out. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Mike 10 mark mark pay Paying this. Yes. Mark Paynish. It's mark Paynish. Is there a fucking vice president? Is it this fucking fun? That's really good. Yeah

So so so so the so the vice president that's running right now is what? Kate? Kate? You forgot you fucking forgot already. Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ. And mark mark and mark Paynish. Mark Paynish. Yeah, mark Paynish That's who she that's who they are. You should know our history. You should know the current history. Yeah Yeah, let's go to the back in the time. Let's go back in time then. Let's go. Um, who was the uh, Our very first president the first president of the united states, you know, that was George Washington. Very, you know, that just comes out like fucking Four fathers. Yeah, do you know who's on mount rushmore? No, do you know who's on mount rushmore? Oh, shit. This is fun. No, it's not. He's gonna make me look like a fool I don't know either. Yeah, you do

I'm pretty sure you know. No, Washington, Jefferson, Lincoln, FDR You're the Roosevelt. Yeah, that's FDR. Yeah, yeah Wait, what? No No, John Adams. I think John Adams on it. I think John Adams is on it. Wait, wait, wait. John Adams has to be on it Who's on mount rushmore? I'm dead serious. I don't know. You know why? Lincoln's on it. I said Lincoln. I said John Adams I said Washington. I said Washington. I said Lincoln

Who did I say? Oh, shit Did I say I'm all right? There's wash Jefferson, I said that. Teddy Roosevelt and Lincoln. Oh, fuck. I didn't get any of that. I said FDR. I meant Teddy Roosevelt Yeah, Teddy. No, you didn't mean that. No, no, I did. I did. All right. All right. FDR was frank. I look like a fucking idiot No, you don't give me another history question without even googling it. I want to see if I can get it Uh declaration of independence. When do we sign it? Oh, fuck you. 1718 17 Nope, what is it?

1776 1776 deck of independence was 1776 the 4th of july Okay, well, I know questions like this. I'll ask you a question now. All right, fine Who produced the first four talking heads albums? Uh, Mark Paynish Yes Mark Paynish did

And yeah, and the engineer was I think it was K. Hansen. Yeah. He was good. She was so good. Yeah, but you know, I don't know. I'm not. Oh, Ryan Eno Brian Eno, Brian Eno. Yeah, what band was Brian Eno in? In the late 60s and early 70s. Beatles. No Roxy music. So I know information like that I don't know that kind of stuff. Yeah, I know. I don't know historical because I was doing math and falling asleep in In in class when I was her age. That's really funny. I didn't do math and I still didn't pay attention I was really so bad in school. Yeah. That's not my fault. Is it? Yeah, it's it's funny. It's like I have interests

I have certain interests and I'll learn about those interests But if I'm not interested or it doesn't pertain to my life, I don't feel like I need to absorb that information It's just too hard for me to retain it if I don't care. Yeah, it's like It's just bullshit. They got to change just the high school curriculum Well, look, it's important to probably know some history, but I also think I don't know if I but why? Because it's nice to know where things what the past is, right? But if you have no interest in it, what how does that pertain to your life though? I think it's probably good to have like a general knowledge. Yeah, I know what generally what's going on. Okay, so that's what I'm saying

I think what we do is fine. We don't have a good. I don't have a good. I couldn't tell you Okay, when was the civil war? What year? Don't I said I don't want to play this. No, but that's my point. I don't know it either Yeah, I don't know. I know it was back then. That's what I say back. Yeah, it's back then back then different clothes Racist guys That's I got that down. Yeah, did you see the black? Did you see the real life? Clayton bigs be on the news the black white supremacist? No for the grandsons of the kkk or I mean of the

Whatever well before we do that you tell me but I want to show you go ahead You haven't mentioned anything about my shirt. I know I saw it. You know what it is No, these are the first african-american astronauts. No shit. Yeah, can you name any of them? Yeah Right here Frederick D. Gregory Frederick and the Gregory Institute of harmonics. Whoa. Yeah, who else we got uh Is that Tony rock? No And we got John Waynes Frank Waynes. Oh the Waynes brothers. Yeah. Yeah. It's the Waynes. You don't know. Oh, those the other way Yeah, yeah, Ricardo Waynes. Are these really the first black astronauts? That's what it says. Yeah, the first black astronauts in space

Well, it's funny because I saw this it says african-american astronauts and um When I saw this at a thrift store, I had to get it Yeah, because and and because I wanted to learn But you haven't learned any of them. I know but I but I know that they exist. It's like saying, you know There are dwarf. It's like say say, uh, I can't say it. Say it. I'll get canceled. No, no, no, no. Come on. Come on. Say it It's like saying, you know There's a dwarf dwarf running back for the Minneapolis Vikings. What do you mean? There's no no, there's not I'm just saying that's how I didn't know that there were african-american astronauts

That's how shocking it was to me right nothing. I I believe that everyone has a skill level I just had never heard of one because nasa is ten old old nerdy white guys. Yeah, you watch all the movies. Yeah But look at this. This is this is uh, geon steward bluford jr. Yeah, that's one of the men on your shirt I imagine correct. Well, maybe that's him at the top, isn't it? Look at the very top by you. Look at the top by your chin by your chin by your chin dr. Geon s boof bluford Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah geon steward bluford. Yeah, he's here. He's at the top by your chin. He's on the top. Yeah, yeah Top guy. Yeah, do you know do you know about him? I knew a lot about him

Well, what can you just I could tell you close the window before okay? I know he's born in philly Fuck you What are we gonna show me? What were you gonna show me? No, I wanted to show you the first but I wanted to show you the black uh black white supremacists You know, remember that Dave Chappelle sketch? Um Do you remember what i'm talking about? Do you know i'm talking about the black the black the black white supremacist? He was blind. Oh, yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah

But say their names alabama has some opposition from about two dozen members and supporters of the sons of confederate veterans Regardless how the next person feel I'm not gonna take my flag down If I got a thing to do with it ain't no money make gonna come down Daniel simps says he was adopted as a child my whole family is white Went to all white screw grew up in all white neighborhood My grandfather was white and he was the main one that fought in this war here and he's taught me everything I know He explains how he'd feel if the statues and flag were relocated

They may make my blood boil if they just come up here and feel like they can just tear it down I don't see me still living if they do that right there. That money man ain't hurting nobody that money man ain't killing my soul It ain't talking bad to nobody. It ain't it ain't even racist But dunston says she's confident her group will be successful in getting the flag and mon... I mean, what you said You can't blame the guy though Because he was growing up in all white because if he grew up if he grew up in like an all black home in like in you know

Then you would think what happened in his life. Was he watching too many like You know movies did this guy not watch any movies right or maybe no movies. Yeah, but because You know, you're you're a product of your environment. So this is definitely that it's that it's uh nurture over nature in this regard Raycon Raycon's great. Raycon's my favorite wireless earbuds. Yes. They are um, they're slicker than the other ones They're smooth. They're tiny. They're tiny. They're compactable. They're easy to go. The case is beautiful It's it just looks better than all of the other ones. I've seen it feels better Also the way to switch songs and there's an actual button. Yeah, there's an actual button

You know, sometimes the other ones have like No, I want to know that I'm switching songs. Yeah, that's look these things are also half the price of most Uh premium wireless earbuds on the market their newest model the every day each 25 earbuds are their best. Oh my god Six hours you can run on those things and not have to charge them. They're comfortable. They fit right in your ear Um, and you know what snoop dog and cardy b cardy b and mike tyson all like it brandy. You know, it's good All right. Yeah, unlike the other earbuds that are expensive Uh, these things have the sound quality that the other ones do without the expensive price tag It's the time to get the latest and greatest from rake on get 15% off your order at buy rake on.com slash bad friends

That's buy rake on.com slash bad friends bad friends our favorite. Yeah, we love them Tush do you have a butthole? Yep. Well, this ad is for you right on dude. I under honestly, dude I don't know how long I've I lived without a bidet right for years for all my life same as soon as I got tushy Right. It's changed the game buddy. I know man. I'm professional now Yeah, everyone was panicking about toilet paper during covet not me I was tushing it up at the house and we got one here at the office, which is Yeah, so nice and the other bidets are like thousands and thousands of dollars tushy is very affordable 79 dollars You get a oh my god a fancy bidet. It's really nice and it's easy to install

We did it here at the office and if bobby and I can install something like this I swear to god you can too It attaches to the toilet it saves you tons of money No electrical or plumbing. You don't have to mess with anything. It snaps right on Also, you know, it comes with a 60 day risks-free guarantee and a 12 month warranty dude An entire year millions of people are using the tushy to get cleaner in the basement Go to hello tushy.com slash bad friends to get 10% off. That's hello tushy.com slash bad friends My parents. I don't know why but my parents had like these crazy racist ideas about things and my brother and I were just like

Nah That doesn't make any sense. What would they say that would blow your mind? Oh, all Vietnamese they deserve to die What's wrong? I don't know. I'm just saying he would say crazy shit like that At the dinner table and you're like six and you're like, I don't think That's right. Or like, you know me if you gay Everybody's gonna die Right. Yeah, I don't think that's that's deserving of death, you know

I mean, and you're a kid and you would lay in bed and just think of all the things that you and your brother talk about it Would you guys sit up at night? Yeah, I'd be like, it's tasty. Um, I don't know how you feel about being gay or whatever I'm not gay, but I just don't think that that they deserve to be that do you? Am I probably, no, Bob. I don't Bob, I don't think they should be died because they're human beings and they have a heart and they have a family That's exactly right. Yeah. Yeah, but we would have our own little, you know, pow wow. Did your mom feel that way? Was she racist? I mean, she would say is that if you don't you know, Mary go there. I never meet your wife Does your does your mom so it's like that was as a kid

Oh, but as we but then what I did was I went all right, I'll show you and I just did a bunch of drugs and stuff like that And so it got to the point where They were more concerned if I was gonna be alive or dead So they stopped like You know trying to skew my mind or you know or mold me Mm-hmm. They're just like If he meets anybody That's a miracle. Yeah, right. Yeah, if he is just walking around

If you put one foot in front of all that right that I'm happy with that, right? Yeah, so then it got to the point where they were like, you know And then later in life before my dad died they I made them vote for Obama I know that's wild. Yes. They waited in line. He changed their mind. Yeah, but see but that he was Do you think I'm gonna ask you a real question. Do you think if you never got through drugs and you never had a tumultuous up like childhood? Do you think they you would have been able to get through to them? If you did exactly what they wanted, do you think you could have changed their opinions on thing like that? Or do you think because of such chaos it like recentered their viewpoints on you?

I don't understand what you're saying Because you were a drug addict. Yes, because I'm a drug addict because they had such a hard time raising you Yeah, do you think that's why they were more open to be? Yes That's what I'm saying. So if you had done by the book you probably would have never been influenced by you Yeah, if I was done by the books, then I I think they would be like, um still trying to Throw their ideas. Yeah, but I have to say drugs saved your life. I think it did Drugs saved your life in a weird way. I think in many ways because I can't imagine Because the way I I think it fucked my brain up where I behave in the way I behave

You behaved like this before that didn't you? No, you just think this was this was all post I just think when I was a kid, I don't think that this was the final product that it was intended What was gonna be? What was it gonna be? I think it was more like, um So I'm here to talk about your insurance and this policy here is you know, not really great for your I mean That's the kind of person I think I would have been maybe an insurance salesman or you know, I mean Just a regular job Yeah, hey, hey boy, you know clear up table number seven. We got a party coming. Okay I could be that guy too. Just putting in dishes and a bus boy. Yeah

By the way, you as a bus boy at your age would be fucking hysterical a bus boy at 48 years old not at 48. I know I was one when I was 20. It was so hard. I was a bus boy when I was 20 as well It was hard. Where'd you bus brockton villa? It's the only restaurant I've ever worked in They promoted me to as as a uh, yeah as a waiter. Yeah, but that's a nice restaurant You dude in the mornings though, it's like the busiest restaurant. No, but you make good money. I mean, right? Not as a bus or maybe 40 50 bucks a shift. I bust it out back steakhouse. Okay Why do you have to do an exit and I had to go I'll claim your tables, Mike Yeah, they go I go would you like another shrimp from the bavi?

I had to bust it out back steakhouse because they wouldn't give me a serving job. Yeah That's what I got. They were like now We have we don't have any positions available. You can be a bus boy. So I bust and watch dishes I also remember. I don't know how I got there. I don't know how I got the job but I remember I was at like a congress Person, I don't know what congresswoman it was. What do you mean? Someone who was in congress you worked for them? No, I was there was a banquet

I don't I don't because I just vividly remember. Yeah, and I remember this guy going I was wearing like some weird like valet kind of a costume. Were you a valet? No, I was like I was supposed to It's poor waters. Oh, you're you're a like a But I remember just being yelled at like hey, man table, you know the congresswoman Right and I had and I'm just shaking putting but I I don't recall how I got the job I had to been just like through a friend was like, hey, they need somebody to do it's like catering or whatever Yeah, I know when I I tell you all the bullshit job. And then when I came to la I had a job

Um licking envelopes I'm not kidding you 12 hours a day Licking envelopes like the whole I was in the bottom of an unbearably unbearably boulevard, right in some office And there were just piles of envelopes and licking Licking all day and after two days. Did you have water to dip your tongue? No, they never gave me any water And remember my mouth would get all dry and I had I had scat like cuts and scabs cuts on my tongue And I would still do it. You know what I mean? And I did like

Fuck it three thousand a day. How much should they pay you? Oh, it was like under the table I was oh, there was another Mexican guy there too. Is a able to go faster. You know what I mean? I was like I'm a comic. I don't give a fuck bro. It's not that bad of a gig. Yeah And then they would give us like 20 bucks under the table. I don't know what it was 20 bucks Whatever, but I remember like afterwards. I was like Yeah, yeah, I'm done. And then I actually did another oh dude another one another shitty job. I've had There was this guy named f scott collins. He used to be an actor. Wait, I know who that is. No, you don't. Yes

I do. Oh, he was in he's been in stuff a couple things. Yeah, f scott collins goes. Um Hey man, you need a job And I go, yeah, I have no money He said I'll give you a hundred bucks, right? Just to clean my garage Holy shit, and I'm thinking fuck chiching Literally, it's not a garage. It was a warehouse What like yeah, you think like an airplane hangar. It was like an airplane hangar. It wasn't like a garage

It was like this separate building Right. Yeah, that was probably formally a house. Yeah, and they gutted it and now it's a fucking garage What the fuck was in there? Oh my you know, you know, you know what it looked like. Do you remember the silence of the lambs? When she has to break into that storage house. That's what it looked like. There was a car You know what I mean with a head a headless, you know a head in it, you know, I mean like just a bunch mannequins shit everywhere And it was just cobwebs and spiders and I remember like and I had a fucking paper towel and windex walking in You mean

I this is a three thousand dollar job. Yeah, and it was a hundred bucks a hundred It took me probably four days. Did you do it? You finished it? I needed the money A hundred bucks for four days of work. It was terrible man. Holy shit by myself I've had so many I've had so many shitty jobs. I was a stock when I first moved out here I was a pa and I was doing stocking stuff like just stocking in their Bullshit room of like organizing dvds and just hours and hours and hours and hours of nothing Yeah And I had been getting super depressed and I was drinking a lot because I was just sad

So I would just go get like a 12 pack of beer every night the cheapest shit I could buy And just drink it till I woke up the next day. Yeah, and we were cutting boxes. I'll never forget We're cutting boxes and I was just like just terribly hung over and the kid that I was working with was brand new And I cut open a box and as I open it I crack it open Right and stuff falls out ever the dvds fall everywhere and I was like fuck and he goes Whoa That that box smells like shit I had just farted, but I didn't say you know, I just I just did one of those like little pinching pulls

You know where it's like let it go, you know like a balloon But he goes whoa that box smells like shit and I pretended I go. Oh, no. Yeah, that's gross. I must the box smells I'm blaming it on the box. Why don't you own up to it? It's a guy and then he goes and then he goes Oh, it's so gross. I got I know he goes It smells like a rotten pumpkin and I was like does it and he goes Yeah, it smells like a fucking like a rat died inside of a rotten pumpkin And it had like it it had a disease And then I kept thinking that's what my fucking belly smells like right now

All right, so then I had to fart again had to go open another fucking box. I just kept opening be like dude these boxes Or all poop boxes Where are these from? I was embarrassed because he said it smells so fucking bad. I would I just do it in front of you I didn't really know him. It was weird. We were in the stock room and I was I didn't know the kid that well I was embarrassed. I was embarrassed. Yeah, I'll fart in front of my friends I didn't know that guy and I didn't want to get fired. I didn't want him to be like this guy's ripping shit in the fucking storage room It was my first it was like my first job in LA and I was so nervous to lose it

Oh, I don't know why but that brought up a story. I've never told before where I was like I met a girl I saw nirvana play Where? It was in orange county and it was like three weeks later. He died. He died Wow, but I remember um

I asked this girl from work who I had a big crush on yeah to go. I spent money all the money I had and she goes I'll go watch nirvana and We were in the parking lot and she's like do you mosh pit? Or did I do like are you a mosh pitter and I'm a little guy, right? It's like yeah, fuck yeah Fuck yeah, fuck yeah mosh pit You're like I fucking I'm small, but man. I'm like fucking like a piece of iron What?

Yeah, I go. Yeah, we want to see It's I start mosh pitting around right? I don't know why I did this in a parking lot Yeah in a parking lot. I was just showing her trying to be funny too And I and I started swinging my head like and I hit her fucking mouth And her tooth broke shut I swear to god it cracked She goes ahhh like that and I'm like I'm so sorry and I remember She her mom picked her up or something I went

I was by myself and I remember like being so I was sober too And I remember being at the concert being by myself And I remember they were smoking pot And back of me And I was like I and I was sober for like a couple years And I remember turning going can I take a hit of that they fuck you

So I just okay as if they knew about what happened in the parking lot No, but it was almost as if they saved me from relapsing. That's nice though. Yeah, thank God Whoever those whoever those non-sharable stoners poop box story. I don't know it got there though I got there in my mind was that your first was it like a first date for you with that girl? I never saw her again. No, but what oh that was the first and last date. That's it first and last ever So again the first date I ever went on in Los Angeles I took a bus to a gay bar in West Hollywood met a girl didn't know was what I didn't know it was a gay bar Just took a bus to meet her somewhere. I met her at this bar right on Santa Monica

Naked dudes, I mean just everywhere and I'm like, oh is this a spot? She's like, yeah, it's really cool Like there's like a hip area. I was like, oh, okay, and then the dude serving us was like body shots So I took a body shot off of this guy. Yeah. Yeah a guy goes Wait a guy goes a guy that works body shot. Yep body shots and you took a body shot Well, so what does that entail? I put he poured it on his chest and I drank it on a drink off a man's chest big black man Yeah, a big black man. I wanted to impress this chick. I thought it was fun. And She's what you do a body shop off of a black man. Yeah, and then what did she do she didn't do one?

I did one. That's it. I know, but afterwards was she weird like I never saw her again. I Supposed to do you we make mistakes because you think I want her to like me So this gay guy comes over I want to show her that I'm okay with my sexuality So the big black guy gets on the table Oh, I wish you know what I wish I was there body shot. Yeah, and he lays down on the table I would have been like no, I would have grabbed your arm. No, dude. You're reading it wrong. I was 22 I would have grabbed your wrist. I go no no no you Samantha's here. No, I would have done that There's no way by the way though. She she was planning on like leaving me at the bar. I'll never forget you

I think I'm gonna go home I was like, I'll get out of here too. She's like, no you can stay. I was like, oh, she did she think I'm gay? And I'm not but I did the first time you had sex. I did have a good time 15 Marco Island, Florida On the on Hotel room. Why are you smiling and licking your lips? It's weird In the corner of what happened I traded a I traded a bottle of Captain Morgan's for a hotel room key You did yeah, and you with you remember the girl's name. Oh, yeah, she was my she was my girlfriend It was my high school girlfriend. My god. Yep condom. No condom condom broke. That's right, dad condom broke

I'm dead serious condom broke. I'm purpose. Oh Poke a little hole poke a little hole. Yeah. Oh, no This one ripped. No it a condom broke in the middle of us having sex. Is the only kind of my head First of all, mm-hmm. You're acting as if your dick was so powerful. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no No, my my it's probably sheepskin. No, it was a nice Trojan. It was just pointy. I my penis is pointy You circumcise right? Yeah, but no, I mean, I have a I have a tip. I have like a sharp tip. It's like a pencil Seriously, it broke. You know how I broke. I know it was in my pocket at the beach all day It was in the ocean with me, but then when you when you did you tell her all it broke?

I went like this. I'm like, oh, no, and she goes what and I go nothing No, I told her immediately I was like, oh my god the condom broke She was like what the fuck what the fuck did you do and I was like I didn't do it He said I had to like dude. I had to like maneuver a condom from a friend. I was so scared to go buy one Yeah, why can you buy condoms at 15? I? Think you can you should right you should be able to yeah, but I was so scared to go get him I had to get one from a guy who got one from a guy. Yeah, it's weird. There's probably like a 30 year on the 90s This was in the year

1998 or something like that 1998 or nine. Yeah, wow. That's when I moved to LA Really? Yeah, I lost my Virginia when you moved to Los Angeles. Wow Wow, I mean, that's the that's the difference the age difference between you. Yeah, look at we caught up in that weird Okay, Bob because it's so it's it's funny how you call me and and you you start crying I do and you said I want to work and you said I'm gonna name it involved. I can't get any work I really can't get any work Everyone's in a pandemic. What do you need to do? You are working. All right, stop Bobby. No Bobby Stop first of all, I've had a conversation with somebody that we both know that told me that you just got another or another offer for a job

Who none of your fucking business? It's somebody. I know that we know that just said you got another offer for a job. It's fine Don't play dumb with me pal Bro, you know I don't fucking know we're in a pandemic. I don't care. Why do you keep getting stuff? We're in a Okay, are you more talented than me? No, you're way more talented. No, no, we're the same you can do accents I gotta do a sense. No, no, but my point is You're just prettier than I know you're prettier than I am in Hollywood right now when you got all right I auditioned they don't like me when I auditioned for mixology, right? I didn't even get past the casting director

Hmm, right. Mm-hmm. You got the that's specific job. That's a specific specific role. I remember in my head laying in bed Right going couldn't even get the producers on that and then when I found out that you got it, right? I went yeah, it's over for me. This is the new the new age. That's and it's so not true It is that's so not the new group. This is the new young hot people, right? And it's same thing happened. You weren't in this but undatable when undatable happened. Yeah, same thing I I didn't even couldn't who are you gonna be I couldn't even get an audition Funches I couldn't even get an audition Yeah, and then when everyone all my friends everyone got on it

You did love and the people started guest starring on it. I was never asked Whitney. I You know, I'm I want to say this do it and you know, I love Whitney were like this But like an a-frame house This is some this is the truth, but I just feel like this is gonna be one of those regrettable All right, so, you know, I know Whitney you true and I love her mm-hmm. I've always loved her mm-hmm So when Whitney was casting they were casting everyone went in did you read for Whitney? Nope. Oh Shit that makes me feel better But everyone that I knew aside from you went in. I

Everyone except everyone not you not you but everyone went in and I Just started and I called my agent. I go. Can I get in like there's nothing in it or I don't know I don't we don't get we're not getting an appointment or so there was a weird vibe. All right, so I just started like outwardly complaining Fucking Whitney Brought out on the road. You know me. Can't even get an audition. You're saying that to everyone. Yeah, everybody. Yeah, everyone outwardly So the one day I found out that the thing is pretty much cast or done casting mm-hmm Then I get a call. Yeah, they want to see you

So I memorized it, right? I go. I'm going into producers. I'm gonna nail this fucking thing. Mm-hmm. I walk there. I go there No producers There's a girl with braces. Okay. Are you ready for your audition? Mm-hmm, and I go what and they put me in a storage room And they just kind of fill me on a Little junk little handy handy camp. Yeah, right? Okay. Thank you. No notes No, no, it's great. I not in my back of my head. I'm thinking Did they just do that so I would stop complaining or they just said all right you went in Well, it didn't have a shot. They did that so you would shut up

That's genuinely someone being like just let him fucking read for something then Thank you so much for turning me on to Buffy dude, you're welcome I actually did turn you on a Buffy you did you gave me one and I'm like what is this and I use it and now It's the only thing that's on my bed. Honestly, no joke Bob and I've talked about this for a long time. We love Buffy They are so comfortable. It's unbelievable. It's like it's smooth eucalyptus fiber and it feels softer than cotton bra It is softer than cotton and it's earth-friendly. It's easy to grow and it doesn't hurt the environment It's breathable cool to the touch You are not gonna sweat at night if you sweat at night get a Buffy me and Bob swear on our lives

You will know all the products also dude, dude, dude cruelty free and hypoallergenic. That's right No, no feathers or animal products here. Yeah, they got 20,000 five-star reviews Look if you don't take anything from us take this Buffy is worth every single cent They offer a free trial free shipping and returns you can give it back if you don't like it Try their products on your own bed for free before you commit to buying if you don't love it Give it back and say I don't like it and then they'll go fine. You don't have to pay anything For $20 off your Buffy bed and go to Buffy dot co and enter the code bet friend That's right for $20 off the best sleep of your life. Go to Buffy bedding go to Buffy dot co enter the code

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so yes, I Might be doing something with Mark and jave do plus Okay, I pitched you know I mean andress if I hear you laugh again I pitched an AB to ABC they bought my show, okay You know, I might have a campaign here a commercial campaign, right? To two other shows of the next week, but um So five things We're in a pandemic body. Hmm. Obviously. We're not we're in a pandemic. Obviously, you're not your business is not in a pandemic

So, you know, hey, hey kiddo. Hey kiddo. You'll get back on the horse You know what they say, you know what you know what they say, you know what they say Hmm always stay out in the rain always stay out in the rain. Yeah when it says that I'm going inside It's wet. No, no, you don't because um, if you don't stay on the way you might not get struck by lightning Why would I want to get fucking wet and then struck by light? Oh, it's an analogy like an analogy That's a terrible an analogy. How about this one when I've been told how about this one? I've been told what right? Don't you hate it when things aren't going well in your career people give you analogies. Yeah, they give me something that They make sense that makes no amen. I heard someone one told me amen. It's just like it's like surfing

And I go, okay. How is it sometimes, you know, you'll ride A big wave Meaning, you know, I mean like you'll get on a show. Yeah, and you'll you mean it's a long ride Right, but then sometimes right there are no waves at all And you're just sitting out there, right? But the most important thing buddy is just have fun with this being out there Yeah, you know what I've been doing what I've been boogie boarding for the past I know I hate I don't like that kind of stuff when someone tries to tell you that there's like a light at the tunnel for a thing It's like, yeah, but it's my these are our jobs. Yeah, I hate you know what I hate the most

Stay out in the rain in the sand. Oh god, the jesus thing. Yeah carried him. It's like, yeah I don't know. I don't know. I don't have a memorizing Am I saying the same one as you are the footprint the jesus carried me or whatever? Yeah, so you know in my life, right? I I saw footprints prints with me and jesus back back in my in my hardest times There's it was only one for the set of footprints and then it's basically god going. Yeah, that's when I was carrying you Right footprints in the sand. So basically it's this If if I went to let's say I died of cancer What kind?

Pancreatis do you think you'll get pancreatis? No, I'm just giving you a fucking A analogy let's say I died from pancreatis cancer got it and I go to heaven And I'm like bombed right and god's like what's the matter, buddy? Like I just you know All my life, man, we had footprints side by side bro, you know, and then when I had the fucking cancer, right? There was only one foot a set of footprints and god going That's because I was carrying you. Oh cool. Um, how about the second option now? Don't give me cancer By the way, thanks for the ride. Can I see thanks for the ride god, but how about no cancer?

I want to see the footprints of the sand of him trying to pick you up and then stumbling Yeah, and then it's like a drunk drunkard on the beach. He drops you once What was this big lump in the ground? Do you think tito bobby's gonna go to heaven when he passes away rude? Big pause. Wow. Yeah. Now. Fuck you big pause Fuck you really What are you thinking about? Yeah, what did you have to analyze are you thinking about yesterday when I walked into your room? And I go what's up jewels and she looks at me She has tears what happened running down her face

And I'm like, oh fuck someone died. What happened jewels Um, I finished an anime What the fuck is that what world are we living in? You finished an anime and it made you cry. What was the end of it? Did everybody die? No, the best friends were parting ways Wow What did they go off to school or something? No the other the other The other one is going to his father and the other one is going back home

But none of them are dying they could see each other again Right. No one's going to pick them up in the sand, right? They still have to keep walking in the sand Wow, and that made you cry. Yeah, because it's the end Of what of their friendship? No of the anime of the show I mean, by the way, that's what I'm dealing with. I know you wouldn't even you wouldn't cry at a funeral, would you? Has been have you ever been to a funeral? Yeah Do you cry or no? I cry you did Every funeral you've cried

I've only went to like two and did you cry on both? Dude, I went to my grandmother's funeral and I didn't cry I didn't know how Yeah, I I didn't know how dude. I got to the casket. I got up to the casket Right up next to it. What was this by the way? I was I was a kid. I was young 10 11 something I thought recently you no no no no no no no no no my this is my dad's mom And I get out of the casket and someone next to me is like It's so sad and I'm not kidding. I'm like this. Yeah, it's sad. I didn't know I didn't

It's sad. Yeah, I tried to pretend to cry. Yeah, nothing came out nothing. I know and then I walked away going Trying to cry. I couldn't do it. I don't know why it was so surreal for me When my dad died in the he took his last breath You took his last breath. You told me you sucked it right out of his mind Yeah, and as soon he goes Right you heard it. Yeah And that's it My mom and my brother acted it as if

It was the worst. It was pretty bad. Very bad. Yeah, one of the worst things. Yeah, right But they were like doing rolls on the ground Just losing it, you know, I mean flips And just yeah, I mean running through the wall coming back in. Yeah. Yeah. I mean and just bonkers And I'm standing there. I'm just looking at my dad And just nothing No tears no and I walk up to him. I kiss his forehead. I said, I love you

And I just walked out of the room Yeah We handle it differently, huh? We all handle it differently. I told you what have I told you what my uncle did? No, I don't think so. Maybe okay. So my my dad's best friend is my uncle, all right, and um, I we call him jogging up small dad I mean, that's a translation. Yeah jogging up So we call him and go he's you know gonna die soon

And he drives from san diego to phoenix He walks in the hospital in the hospice My dad had died maybe 20 minutes. You know before he got there. I just missed it. He missed it He walks in He looks at the body like this And he goes bye and he got in his car and drove No way sort of god, he just said bye. He goes to us. He didn't say bye to him He didn't look at my dad go bye. That would have been so fucking funny

No, he just kind of looked and then looked at us and he goes bye bye And he just left. Have you talked to him since? No. No. Yeah, that's it Like I had an uncle growing up that wasn't my real uncle But this is funny. I didn't know until I was a little bit older When I say a little bit older by the time I got cognitively aware that like, oh clearly, it's not my uncle Yeah, his name was Ira and he was a really really in shape good-looking gay guy Jewish gay wait you had a real uncle that was not my real uncle. I didn't know till later I thought he was my I called him uncle Ira. Okay. He's my dad's good friend

gay Jewish guy I'm thinking this is my uncle We don't have any Jews in our family. I was like, oh, I don't know my uncle Ira And only later what I realized that he was gay. I didn't know I just was like uncle ira is in great shape And he always has so many friends. My dad is like, well, yeah, some of his friends are, you know They're really good friends and I'm like, wow, this guy's got a lot of good friends He always had like seven or eight dudes around him all the time young good-looking, you know like 22 23 year old dudes And I just I was like this guy's just so cool all the guys want to be around him

Yeah, yeah, and then that's how I learned about body shots No, but I'm gonna delete that body shop story. It's it's shameful. Why it's just so sad That I took a body shot off a guy. Yeah, can I ask you something? Wait a minute. You've never done anything shameful like that Like I've sucked a dick before Okay, let me say something ask you something. Yeah when used to talked about the Ira guy Ira. Yeah, okay It sparked something else that I thought I would never say But um, I need your advice Okay

So I'm not gonna tell you I'm never gonna tell you who it is. I know who it is already. So you don't yeah I do Okay, you don't even know the gist of the story You told me where it came from. So my brain is going to a place. Okay, so I was at a club A comedy club hanging out another comic Which is it was just me and this other comic how long ago

Before the pandemic probably a year ago, okay And he's just sitting there and he goes Hey man, can I express something to you man? Because I know your dad died, you know He was like right after my dad died and he goes um, I go yeah, he goes I don't know man. It's just like when I was a kid My dad had a business partner When I go, uh-huh And the business partner

Would call the house and ask for me And I go, huh? Basically man like he gave me a hundred bucks Because we were poor You know, I mean we're poor. I don't like to jerk them off Oh, you know man, and I and I was like, I didn't know what to say What was the business? It was a hand-jurking

It was like, you know, just a hand job Handyman that's what they call that handyman handyman Yeah, wait a minute, but when somebody says something do you he said he be his dad's business partner paid him a hundred dollars Just to give him a hand job. Yeah, and he did it all the time. He did a lot A hundred dollars is pretty good. It's a lot. It's pretty good. Yeah, that's what I think that's what I told him And he goes, oh, it is He goes, I go, yeah, what year? It was in the 80s. I go. Yeah, I mean, it's like 500 bucks today It's like

Wait, so he did it a lot and he confessed to you But yeah, and I kind of went I didn't give him any advice because what do you say to some I just said All right, man I'm about to go up. He just got the light. Yeah. Yeah. I gotta go. I just don't know how to like Did you deal with this day? Have you ever talked to him about it? No, he wanted you to help him through that He obviously was sexually abused. He also told me never to talk about it. We just talked about it Yeah, but I didn't say his name. Let's take a guess. Let's have Rudy guess. No, no, no, no Let's have Rudy guess

His name starts with a Let's just say we'll say who it is an older comic. I don't want to talk about it He's an older comic Rudy. His name starts with a c and his last name. Yeah, it's okay. Yeah. Yeah, so c D. Yep h it starts with ch ch right the last name right to All right, so Yes Is this it? Oh

Chuck tonete, dude, that guy's so good. He's such a good comic. I can't believe he did that stuff great one liners Great one. Yeah. Yeah. His point of view is very specific. You guys ever jerked off one of your dad's business partners for $100? God knows I have It's good to be here That's sad. I shouldn't make fun of that. Yeah, it's so sad, but he didn't have to kiss him or nothing You know, it's That brings up right that brings up like even this joke that we're doing. Yeah, it's a joke No, I it's a complete and utter joke, but I just feel like that we're in a time

You know, we can't joke about a story even joke about stuff like that. It's not a funny thing. Listen anyone listening right now We're not it's a terrible thing. They're fans. They know we're just kidding. I understand that But I just we have to now reiterate to them because you you're afraid that someone's gonna take that out of context You know, it's like I've been accused of a lot of things that are taking out of out of context out of podcasts Sure, but anybody that knows Anyone that knows that means anything in the business i.e. all the people that you're working with right now They know that this is a that we're fucking around. We're having a good time Yeah, but still people on the internet and read it and people they just start like, you know coming up with their own like

theories and Why do you think that is? I don't know Do you think it's because people are bored and they have nothing fucking better to do? No the pandemic. I think that A lot of people out there have you know have been hurt In the past and I have been victimized and I think there's a lot of anger and rage that goes on with that and you know I'm all for fighting for for the little man, you know and and and fighting against oppression and You know and wrongdoings, but it's like

It comes to a point where it's like It is getting out of hand Well, I think I think I think people are gonna pull stuff out of context on a podcast because it's the easiest thing to do to just go Oh, they made a joke about that and it wasn't okay. It's oh it's you can say every joke is not okay You can say that with every joke ever made you can go. That's not okay That's not an okay thing to say but people also seem to think that everything that I say or what we say is truth Yeah, of course. Yeah. No. Yeah, and we're so far from I mean it's like, you know Yeah, maybe 80 percent of my stories are based on some sort of truth

But we embellish things right we we'll put in new characters Yeah, and change things to make the story funnier or better because More more story teller. Well, that's what comics do well like for instance that story you just told that guy He didn't give him a hand job. He used to blow his dad's friends You fuck him no condom right in the asshole, but um Yeah, we're gonna get written up for that. You know what's so funny though? People people are strange

people And you're a stranger, but look then some people are getting some people are getting in trouble when you know It was coming. That's what's even funnier to me like the joe biding the guy that got in trouble for uh He wrote joe in the hoe. Did you see that campaign that they did? I was like, you know, you're gonna get fired a guy tweeted an image that was like joe biden's Uh twitter campaign or whatever And he tweeted it and it basically just said joe in the hoe and he was like a professional photographer or something who was You know, I was like, how do you not know that you this is what I mean like if someone pulls something out of context for us

Yeah, what are you gonna do? They the fucking they just they they What what a weird that's joe hoe. What a weird. That's joe hoe. Yeah. Yeah. No joe and the hoe Was a thing that someone just yeah, look at this this guy Look at this and he tweeted this. Yeah, and then he got fired for it almost immediately obviously because You know, how do you not know that that's gonna get you fucking fired? Especially if you had a job that is profile yet first of all you would know that That's what I'm saying like how obvious Yeah, but that's what that's my point is like when the internet calls out stuff. That's like ridiculous like that

I go. Yeah, come on dude. That guy fucking you got to know that that's the dumbest thing But when somebody takes something out of context as a story from a fucking podcast of us just joking around I just how do you not know the difference? That's just like you're of course. They're gonna fucking yell at you about that I'm not saying the guy should be fucking strung out to dry and kill him for that, but it's like Well, he knows that's dumb. That's a dumb thing to tweet. Yeah, it's just concerning to me Yeah, I mean, you know, I don't know we're gonna make it out alive as soon as we get out of the pandy I think we're gonna be fine and and when you when when when when is gonna lead us out of the pandy When is that gonna happen? Rudy? When's it gonna happen?

Next year. What time you're the soothsayer, you know, April April of next year April 2021 Oh my god. God, how many months has left now? September, October, November, January, February, March, April I have to count on my hands. I don't have to do that month. Seven months. This is so crazy Think about it. Do you really think seven? When's the last time you did stand up? Uh, uh, uh, Philadelphia, uh, Philly punchline March, March 8th. Yeah, me too. March sometime. March 8th and 9th

March, how long has it been? March, April, May, June, July, August, five months. Oh, wow Wow I don't feel like a stand-up anymore. I don't either. You know, it's so funny I don't even think I'm a stand-up. We're not we're podcast guys. We're podcast guys now. Look at us. One two three podcast guys Welcome back to podcast. No, I don't feel like a stand-up at all. Yeah, I had an I got an offer What is it? Outdoor show 20 people No, that I did get already as well

Outdoor show 20 people where I'm not gonna mention it because I don't want to I don't want to you're gonna do it No, yeah 20 people. Yeah, I mean I've got Every day I get calls. I can't do that. There was a televised thing they asked me to do It was I can't tell you who it was but probably the same guy. Yeah, but it was gonna be like on streaming And it's uh 20 40 people but being a big, you know park And I'm like, yeah, I go I'm not doing stand-up until it's back in the club until it's stand-up again Yeah, look, I don't blame people for doing it. I just don't I don't think I'm gonna be good at it

I said on this other podcast if you and I got to go on a tour and do a little fun thing Yeah, we would probably have some fun But it's so hard to route It's tough to like get in a bus and then we have to drive all the way across the country Yeah, it's like, you know back in when we were doing stand-up and somebody you you run into an alternative comic Say hey man, I have the show in silver like, you know, I mean at laundry mat And you're and every once in a while you'll go Fuck it. He's he's asked me every fucking week. He's a good dude. I like him

So I drive over there and it's like there's just 20 people in a laundry mat Here's some lady dropping and it's like and the the comics up there are like reading other jokes off of a notebook And they're crushing Right and I go up there to do my performance piece. Right nothing, you know, and then you think And then you get off and you go, man, I fucking hate it. I haven't eaten that so long. They're like, you did well Right. It's the same thing as this. It's going to be the same thing. Yeah, you're not going to be able to feel it at all Yeah, yeah, you're not going to be able to feel it. I like Being on stage and getting

Right and dicks in the audience getting hard You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and just like You know what I mean? It's juices. I like it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I don't like cricket cricket cricket I don't like the outdoor thing is going to be gotta be tough I think a lot of people are just doing it and dealing with it, but I just don't I don't know man. I maybe you and I should go do one outdoor show Well, I don't know. I mean, it's because we if you're listening Andrew and I were trying to do a road

We were going to do a road tour. Yeah a road tour maybe podcast in certain towns, right? You come out, you know outside You know, I would do that like let's get a it's just really hard to do. It's hard to like figure out Okay, not do stand-up, but let's do get a minivan Not a minivan, but like a trailer. How about this? A long time ago, Rogan wanted to buy one of those spinner vans Yeah, and he was like dude if you outfitted a spinner van with a bunch of cameras You could podcast from the van on the way to whatever van you were going to. Yeah I was like, that's a genius idea and he never did it

And I was like just because he was like you could you could rent one of these spinner vans or buy them Which is what he wanted to do and just put cameras in them and we get his pod from there We'd have fancy B working the controls. Would you be in there with us fancy B? Of course. Can't see me could drive. Can you drive? Can you drive? Do you have a license? I do. Do they give you guys licenses? Yeah. Yeah, fancy B could drive, right? Jewels would have to go. Yeah, she has to be shotgun shotgun. Can you stay awake for long trips though? I don't want you falling asleep in case fancy B does is off I always

sleep on car rides She always does. Okay, so we can't have her in the front. We have to have someone that's a co-pilot that can stay awake She'll do it. What if we give you a little bump of cocaine? You think you can stay awake? Do you never done drugs? Look at me in the face and say I've never done drugs. She's never done drugs Say I promise but we go to town to town. We'll do four cities Four cities start start with four cities. Where do we go? Where do we go first? We probably go to phoenix phoenix right then to albuquerque

albuquerque austin austin houston houston dallas Yeah back home. Yeah That we could do a little southwest tour. Yeah Okay, no I'm being real. I know we'll we pot it and pot in it like an in a van, right? Don't you think it's no, but we have to we have to set up like venues where we can do our podcast It's a live podcast. Yeah outside outside And figure that out you think we should be you think we'd be able to do that

Yeah Live pod outside and then people just show up in their cars like that no seats or nothing, right? No, we could even do seats and just have like some sort of like social distancing Merch table where we sell stuff and we'll make fancy or we'll make fancy be our george cell fancy. Will you go sell merch? Yes, or we have or people can just people can would I love would I would love because people wait in line, right? We have a table set up and you and I are just standing. There's a whole area where we're Way far back from people 30 40 feet 20 feet 20 feet right and people can say hi

Right, and we just go. What's up, man? Thank you for coming in and that kind of thing And then you know we'll do we'll do we'll do a plexiglass Yeah, and we'll like the scientists do when they're doing experiments. We'll have our hands through with the gloves Yeah, do I'm talking about and we can we can wave to people and shake their hands through those gloves We could also do a peck plexiglass thing to take photos with people that's what I'm saying Yeah, but our hands can go through the gloves like the scientists do Do you know that's cool and we can high five them Yeah, and they can kiss us on the glass if they want to kiss us on the glass kisses five bucks obviously

Yeah, or smear your tit against the window. Yeah, put your tit on the plexi plexi plexi tits Yeah, yeah, and then we'll sit we'll shake hands and we'll say hi to people and you want to do that Yeah, I do And if they can't hear us we'll put a um Uh string through it and like a can remember when you see a can in your kit Yeah, yeah, I'm down to do it if you're down to do it and we get in a bus We can we can do it. We have to rent a big bus and we have to sleep on the bus. Well. Yeah, it's got our beds in it Yeah, so we do a trailer. What do you call them a rv rv. Yeah, we'll do an rv a cool rv

You know probably george and George fancy be fancy be jewels and us and Are we bringing our ladies or no they have to leave them? Yeah, because because there's nowhere for them to sleep and they can't sleep with us. We need to sleep in our beds alone Yeah Joe George and fancy be share a bed Rudy gets one and you and I get one three beds. Yeah, we'll four well three beds But four you guys are fine sharing a bed. Aren't you fancy? But if you look at one of those trailers, there's a um

A back section section right where the main bed is that's me and you We're sleeping in there together. Okay. Yeah, but we gotta get it not a yeah, but separate beds We'll put a piece of glass between us. No, no, I'm not sleeping next to you in that one You wouldn't sleep in bed with me. Yeah, you're a fucking mom. You wouldn't sleep in a bed with me No, but then on the side there's these individual beds on the tour bus, right? Yeah, and they get those If you get those there's always four. How about this? This will be great. Here's what we'll do because because we want a democracy Yeah, you can get the main bed. I'll take because four beds. I'll take the top. No, here's the deal We switch over who gets what bed what night it's a gamble. We put our name in a hat

No, no, no, I'll just take a small bed I'll take a small on the top but I don't get what uh, you can take the main bed in the back Sounds great to me. Okay. Good. You can take the main bed in the back. You don't want the main bed I like the little bed. I like the little bed because it feels like back home if That's racial, but I don't mind. What do you mean? That's racial back home. I have a fucking Double king size bed right home back in Korea. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's a small bed They're tiny little beds on there. Yeah. Yeah, let's do it though. No, I'm serious if you really want to do it We should know but I don't want you to say it. Let's let's make the call. We'll do it for the fall

I'll call after this in the fall Well, yeah, we're approaching the fall right. Do you know what time of year it is right now? We're about to be in the fall in like three weeks. Yes, that's in mind the fall I want the fall. Can we call one of our agents and see if we could do it? Yeah, let's do it. You want to? Yeah Oh, who'd I call? We'll call your agent. Let's see Hello, Matt Blake Andrew Santino great to talk to you, bud What's up Santino? How are you buddy? It's me too, Bobby. Bobby's your agent. I mean your agent. You're your client. Bobby. You're client You're on our show. You're on a show right now. You're on our show

Oh boy Is Is Is Do you have sleep apnea I do You do don't you? Yeah, I can hear it when you breathe I do have it. I'm dead serious like if you hear let's be silent for two seconds

Will you just breathe into the mic? I've been smoking too much. I think I gotta quit Let me hear you breathe with your nose into the mic. Just your nose go Oh, yeah, there it is I can hear it. You have sleep apnea, huh? In the middle of the night you go Oh, I make noises at night. Yeah I make like these kind of Yeah, yeah, and I and it drives kalayla crazy

But then Joe rogue Joe koi has it Joe rogan koi. No, Joe rogan koi has it and he has to wear one of those bane masks And I saw him wear it once and I go I just don't want to but I think it's a smoking You think the smoking is causing it? Yeah, I'm smoking a lot But sleep apnea sleep apnea You can die from it in the middle of the night. You know that right? That's why he wears a mask Yeah, but how many you're smoking now? Are you smoking a pack a day? no less But I've been um, I'm just having a hard time breathing. Let me ask you something real

I'm not being mean just kalayla make you brush your teeth before you kiss her after you smoke a couple times. Yeah, you have to She's like get in there and Yeah, wash out the trench before you get over here. Yeah, I think I need to get healthier. I'm gonna die I don't think I don't think you're gonna die right now from smoking, but it's definitely gonna hurt you in the long run, I guess Maybe yes, it is gonna. I mean maybe I'm having a hard time breathing. I think Like in general like when you just walked up the stairs after you smoked It was like what Mount Everest?

Seriously, it's hard. Yeah, are you breathing heavy? Yeah, here's a good pulse here. Check your pulse. I put your here. I have high blood pressure Well, how many beats per minute are you 42? That's literally impossible. I don't know 42 would be like a high-end athlete That's like a world-class athlete is sub 60 two three four five six. Yeah 42 Two three four five six. What is that a Broadway play two three four five six seven eight? Yeah, I have I have real condition. Are you taking blood pressure med? Yeah, I am. What's it called? Ambulapine. Ambulapine? Yeah, and what is it for? Is it for people who have high blood pressure?

I've never heard of that one. Does it does it affect you any other way or no? It affects my dick a little bit. You can't get your peepee hard. Yeah Are you being serious? Well, I was making love to Kalei Lidonite and um And she was looking at my talons. Oh your hook feet. You're yeah, like I don't I don't cut my nails It's so she took a glimpse of my toes sticking out of the blankets like this And then she was just like that took me on a bit a little bit Don't look at my feet. I don't want to show my feet. No, I'll show my feet. You show your feet No, you end up on wiki feet. I don't want to be on wiki feet. I have bad feet

What if you're already on wiki feet for having weird feet? I don't I'm not on wiki feet. Have you looked? Yeah, how do you know? There's no way I'm on wiki feet celebrity search. Let's see Bobby Lee. God. I hope so bad. You're on wiki feet Damn it. Nothing. Whose feet do you think that's a veteran here that you want to see on wiki feet? I'd like to see uh Brad Pitt Brad Pitt's feet. You think he's got hot feet I didn't even know there was a wiki feet. Yeah wiki feet feet feet Brad Pitt too many teas too many teas How do they not got that guy's foot that guy's got a because he's wearing shoes all the time. He got to take off them shoes No, who do we have here? Uh, this says celebrities, but I don't know any of these names. Ely Goulding. She's a singer. Alessia Ambrosio. Vanessa Hudgens.

Isn't this weird? There's a real site dedicated to people's feet It's not not nudity. I've never had like a foot fetish. Have you no? I mean, I think I think like women's legs and feet are sexy. I do too Like this look there's no nudity, but just somebody like but I've seen porn where like the guy is like taking a woman's foot And then he takes the bottom of the feet Sandwiches his penis in between. Yeah, you know what I mean? And then the and then the girl has to do this weird like You know what I mean? This this move and the guy's like, yeah, you know, I mean, I'm like what the whole time I'd be like, oh, I don't I don't get it. This is the thing people like this like they like to look at their feet

What is that Rudy? Do you have a fascination with feet? No, do you know why people do? I don't know. It's sexy for them. I guess but it's kind of weird Okay, let's say let me say let's say if you let's say what because I know that you're attracted to Harry Styles Right, let's see if his feet are on here How do you spell his name? H-A-R-O-Y-S-T-Y-L-E-S? Yeah Come on wiki. What a crock of shit. All right, so um Jules feet of the year

Let's suppose you're making love to Harry Styles and you look down and his feet, right? We're like green and black because of like, you know, if they were like Tito Bobby's like my feet Would you would that turn you off and they smelled? Kind of but I think I'd still do it Right because you just love them so much. That's how hot that guy is Wow But you know what's so crazy about this feet feet carry the weight of your body. They're inherently going to be gross I don't care how good you take care of your feet

You're going to have gross feet that carry the weight of your body and they're the bottoms of our body, right? It's the same way. I feel about like why are we attracted to butts? It's just it's your poop portal and I don't know why we like it But I'm not like I'm very specific with butts Like what kind of but as you like like I know, you know, I have certain friends that like, you know Booty black guys. I'm not gonna say that black guys. That's what I meant I didn't mean that. Oh, yeah, yeah, right, but they're just like thick-ass They love booties and I look at like like look at this one on the internet, whatever and I go

Uh, uh, right. I like it to a degree. You like a regular like when it's cartoony I don't like cartoony butts either. Yeah, now people are getting butt implants and I see girls and it's too cartoony for me Yeah, but I um, I like regular Right that part I like too Yeah, yeah, and I there's certain ways of vag looks where I just got turned off But that's you know, I'm not I'm not body shaming anybody. Yeah, you are Whenever whatever your vag looks like that's on you. That's fine. No, whatever, you know, like just the way you're doing your hands You're like, whatever your bad. Let me ask you this if you

Let's suppose you you're not married and and you meet the most beautiful woman you've ever met Yeah, I see her now. Okay, and she spreads over her. You're eating, you know Just don't be too graphic. I'm not yeah eating the vag. I'm going down on her. That's my bad. I'm not a doctor Yeah, and you know, you open up the cavernous flower the flower and you Instead of a clit, right instead of clit. There's a little penis You're like in the beginning you're like is that a clit but then it just gets erect Right and it just gets hard. It's and it's literally, you know You know, you have the head and the head and the head and the and I pull away and I go

What is that and she says yeah, I was just born with a little penis inside my vagina. Oh, whoa And then she looks at you and she goes, will you suck it, please? Would you suck it? What if I get it you let do a lick first Yeah, you would do a quick lick just one I If she's the most beautiful one I've ever met in my life. Yeah, she's like more please Right, right, and then I would say I have enough money. Can we get it taken off? No, I really like that's where I get all my sensation. Actually, I come out of it, right?

So she's like just suck it, right? Yeah, like I stick it in my mouth And back it back out. Yeah, and then what if it just you know, it just sprays in your face Like just hot milk You know what I thought would be really cool was if a girl had one big boob if there was just one boob on a chest Anything one boob would be cool. Yeah two boobs is weird one big boob would be cool if it was just one big mound boob Yeah, you know, I have fantasies about limbs missing Like like a girl with like a with one leg gone gone. Yeah a leg gone

Like a removable. No, I wouldn't want that that makes me laugh. Yeah, I would laugh too hard if a girl gets in bed I go Right Like a mr. Mr. Potato head I would laugh so hard and then she's just a body I would laugh so hard. I would still do it Boy, wait, I was gonna do about a lot about people with missing limbs Yeah, one time I was at the lojoya comedy store and there was a girl. I just saw her face and she was beautiful

And I looked down and she just had nubs Both of our arms both our arms. Geez and I went I thought to myself. Yeah still was 100% She'll never I think you'd have to drive all the time. Yep, and that's excuse. Yeah, you can't you know also She but you never have to give her a hug That's true She's never gonna be like hug me. Goodbye. You're like I just wave Yeah, but then you have to wipe everything down. It's waving rude Is that like showing off? Oh, that's not how I would wave. You know how I would wave, right? I would be like bye

And I would wave with my elbow. See you. See you. Yeah I I this is this is crazy But there was a guy sitting at the bar and where were we in Austin at the cap city And we were outside of the bar all night. It was drinking with this guy talking laughing He gets up to go away and he's got one of those legs Where the shoe is big. Do you know what I'm talking about? It's like a big shoe because one leg is really really short And I saw him get down. He goes. I'll take take it easy And I didn't know what to say. Yeah, and I'm looking at us and I go. Oh my god

You got a bit that's a uh I got so uncomfortable and he was like what's up and I was like Uh that that those custom shoes those shoes are dope and he was like, oh, yeah. Yeah, it's but yeah It's what yeah, I have to get it because my one leg is long in the other one. I was like, I know Oh, I see it. Yeah, it's weird. I don't know what to say sometimes Okay, I was at the ice house and there was a line to come to my show, right? And there was a group of guys and one guy was making like the funniest face. It was like this Just fucking around. Yeah, he was like in front of his face. I go, that's a funny face and he goes. What do you mean?

It was that was his face Like he had some sort of like, you know disorder disorder, right? And I was like, I mean You know, I mean You're handsome You don't know what to say. What if he does a regular face and he looks like us like this is him all the time and he's like Oh, look at one of you guys Oh, yeah, that goes right back to it

Yeah Do regular face do regular face mic. He's like Yeah, they have a nice laugh at us. Yeah Hey, we all have to make fun of each other equally Isn't that right boob? Yeah Do you ever watch it? I never talked about body bizarre. I have right now. What is body bizarre? It's one of my favorite shows in the whole world. Do you know what this is? Body bizarre is the best show ever. On what?

It sounds like an old HBO show. No, it's new. They have new seasons. Body bizarre Yeah, I'm telling you right now. Look it up. Body bizarre. Yeah show. Okay. Well, tell me what is it? What's the deal? Every episode there's like three or four different cases of people with like Disorders that are very like unusual Oh, dude, I've seen this Yeah, body bizarre. I've seen this body bizarre. Yeah, I've seen this before. Yeah. What I've seen I saw the guy that grow that a guy that has hair like growing out of his eyeballs and stuff

They got the hairiest man in the world. I've seen that guy. Yeah Or what about like, you know, I mean a guy that lives in the jungle and he's a tree Yeah, he's made out. Yeah, he's made a tree man. Right. Oh, look at this tall like tallest woman in the world Yeah, tallest boy and the wait the tallest boy and the man with his The tallest boy. That's a boy. Is that a boy? That's a woman. It says the tallest boy In the man with this a woman It says the tallest boy my friend. That's not a boy. I've seen that episode. That's a woman. It literally says the tallest boy So that's a boy

That's just the um background of the actual show That has nothing to do with This stuff is crazy. Oh that one right there twins attached to the head twins who have Hold on twins that have attached at the head. That blows my mind dude If you and I if you and I were if you and I were fused toward the head And we had the same personality our same dynamic the worst thing in the world They just one day would find our skeletal body one with a fucking you know in our skeleton a fucking sword sticking out, right? One's completely burnt on fire. I mean imagine every night

I mean because I don't sleep until six in the morning. I'd fucking kill you. I would fucking kill you Yeah, I kill you so fast. I would kill you so fucking. Oh, how would you kill me? Slut your throat. No, but if we're head to head. Yeah, and I go to the top of it. All right, right I'd stab you. Yeah, and I would be in a stabbing war like this. Yeah. Oh my god This poor woman. Did these some of these cases are just insane insane. That's crazy. That's you and me What can I say we're attached to the hip? Yeah No, that's that's the craziest kind of stuff to me that their bodies are fused You know what? I don't like it when the one watches it like

Whoa, check it out like if wait hold on. Yeah, just look at this one. Whoa. I know dude Over here, please over here, please Yeah, what are you looking at? Yeah, what don't you like what this is why I hate like I hate like You know how white people want to fix people what when do I try to fix you check it out? So all right Well, sometimes we'll see like in a village in India. Uh-huh a girl will be born with like 12 arms. Mm-hmm And she and and what happens when that happens? What do you mean? She's the coolest girl in town

Oh, yeah, the villagers find her they worship her as a god. Yeah, she's fascinating. They put her a temple They think she's Shiva pray, right? But then some white British doctor was I'll do it for free I'll do the surgery for free. You know me to make us, you know, yeah And then she just he removes all the arms. She's not a god anymore. And then like eight years later. She's working on a non-factory Right, yeah with just regular arms. Yeah, she's like this is fucking bullshit. I used to be a god They used to throw pedals at my feet. Yeah, I didn't do shit now I gotta fucking make none all day. That was like, well, I did it. I did it for free. Yeah Yeah, I would white save your shit as I hate what savior if I had 12 arms. I would just say please don't remove them

Well, how about the guy that how about the one guy that left his arm so long in the air that is You know his arm fused that way. Do you ever see that guy? He would hold his arm He held his arm up for like 60 years. Do you know you've never seen no way Swear to god. There's a guy that held his arm up in the man holds Arm in air duty. Hello his arm in the air for like look at there. He is boom. There's my guy Indian Sadhu Indian Sadhu keeps his arm raised for 38 years. Sorry. I was wrong 38 years this guy. Look at this guy Yeah, this is why this is years ago this hat this years ago this guy

He was waving to somebody and they just didn't see so he left it up there until they It is I will not put it down until he was back. This was a long time ago this guy though. Wow his devotion. Look Uh, this is years and years ago. Amir Bahat Barati claims to have kept his hand raised for 38 years In devotion to hindu deity Shiva. You know what I would do with him. Shiva's the one we're talking about with so many arms You know what I would do to him? What if I was his buddy, right? No, no, no, no He'd be like this, right? And I would pull his fingers up so he'd do this You're like hindu I can't pull it down. He can't pull it down. Please help help help help twist my fingers back But they showed this guy pictures of this guy. You can see his fingernails grew super super long. It's crazy to me, dude

Yeah, what people do look at this guy and look at how skinny his arm. Oh my god. It's a stick now Yeah, and look at his finger. Those are his fingernails. That's how long those are those are his fingernails So I guess if you don't it looks like he's always in the cab if you don't move it It just you lose all the muscle Well, the muscle dies and then the bone fuses that way. Wow and the bone fuses that way Yeah, there's no energy that that takes then Nope, right. He would do great in new york. He's got a cell phone. Look at him. Yeah, he's calling. He's calling He's calling his uber. He's hailing his uber

Yeah, can you imagine? Yeah, that's insane. Let this arm for 38 years That kind of stuff is crazy to me. Dude, honestly, some people have way more A discipline that's discipline and that's how we're gonna get you to quit smoking Will you read a book? I have a book for you to quit smoking. Yeah, I need to do it. I'm serious You got to quit I need to do it soon Everyone that's listening all the fans write in on bobby's instagram page quit smoking everyone write quit smoking in the comments Yeah, I had to quit. It's seriously my lungs. Well, what can we do to get you to quit for real?

I don't know. What are you willing to what do you how are you how are you willing to go about quitting? Well, I'm doing less. So I'm more mindful about when I do it How about this? Here's a way to do it Go into your pack and throw away half of the pack I have 15 packs at home Okay, this isn't gonna work. Yeah, wait really you have 15 you bought a carton. Yeah, I've like 100 packs Why? So I don't run out. All right, you're gonna go home rude and you're gonna throw in a word as I hit him

Why do you do this? I hide it. Can you find his cigarettes? You know where they are? Maybe on his bed In his bed like at the side. Oh table, but it's really um disgusting. It is. What do you mean? There's like ants There's ants inside your house on your side bedside table. So we have we have these two beautiful side, you know bedside tables bedside tables And we Kallela's and I are the same style Right, but her drawer is has these little compartments. She put little boxes in there. This is where my meds go

Right. This is where the keys go, right? If you open mine, it's like a fucking real view of fucking Vietnam, I mean, it's like what's in there? Is there food in there? Yeah food wrappers old donuts ants do we food in bed fingernails Um, you eat food in bed skin Does Kallela let you eat food in bed? No, but I'll what I'll do she'll fall asleep and I'll go indian style in front of my um Bedside table and I prop my iPad on it and I watch like horror movies Yeah, and then I'll be eating like a Snickers bar You know what I mean, and then I'll take powder

Powder, yeah, I take this stuff called dream powder. It helps me to go to sleep. Oh does it? Not really so I'll be eating Snickers. I'll do dream powder And I'll drink a Diet Coke And I'll be like, I don't want to go to the kitchen. I just throw in the fucking you throw it in the drawer next to your bed And it's never been cleaned Mmm Everyone needs to write in Bobby. I have problems quit smoking. No quit smoking. Yeah, that's the first thing we're gonna take care of Next week. We're gonna do an exercise on a quit. It's how to quit smoking. Yeah, I might be too late though. No, no, no

No, no, no, my lungs are over my dad smoked for like 35 years and he quit You did how long did you smoke for you've only been smoking for like since I was 18. All right, so 45 years for you Yeah, we're gonna get you to quit smoking. Okay, your dad is still alive Yeah, and his lungs are clean now. They are I mean, they're cleaner than they're cleaner than when they were when he was smoking Yeah, will you please quit? Yeah, I'm gonna try. All right. All right. Thank you for being a bad friend That Is that That

That You