Bad Friends - Rudy Shoots Her Shot with Marcello Hernandez

Episode Date: January 19, 2026

Get MORE Bad Friends at our Patreon!! https://www.patreon.com/c/badfriends Thank you to our Sponsors: DraftKings, Acorns, Factor, Shopify & Quince • Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app NOW and use code BADFRIENDS* • Acorns: Join the over 14 million all-time customers who have already saved and invested over $27 billion with Acorns. Head to https://acorns.com/BADFRIENDS or download the Acorns app to get started. • Factor: Head to https://FactorMeals.com/badfriends50off and use code badfriends50off to get 50% off your first Factor box PLUS free breakfast for 1 year. • Shopify: Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at https://shopify.com/badfriends • Quince: Go to https://Quince.com/badfriends for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. YouTube Subscribe: http://bit.ly/BadFriendsYouTube Audio Subscribe: https://apple.co/31Jsvr2 Merch: http://badfriendsmerch.com 0:00 Bobby Supreme 5:00 Most Peaceful Moment 10:00 Prosthetic Shaka 15:00 Head Transplant 20:00 Hot Tub in the Bath 27:00 Rudy Shoots Her Shot w/ Marcello 34:00 Lorne Michaels is Watching 40:00 A Guy Like This 45:00 Zombie Apocalypse 50:00 Bobby's Algorithm Scares Marcello 55:00 Rudy Shows Marcello Balut 1:00:00 Impractical Joker Charcuterie Board 1:05:00 Slow Open, Fast Close 1:10:00 La Bamba 1:15:00 Mexican Hairless Dogs 1:20:00 Pink Pony Club More Bobby Lee TigerBelly: https://www.youtube.com/tigerbelly Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bobbyleelive Twitter: https://twitter.com/bobbyleelive Tickets: https://bobbylee.live More Andrew Santino Whiskey Ginger: https://www.youtube.com/andrewsantinowhiskeyginger Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino Twitter: https://Twitter.com/cheetosantino Tickets: http://www.andrewsantino.com More Fancy SOS VHS: https://www.youtube.com/@7EQUIS Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/fancyb.1 More Bad Friends iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-friends/id1496265971 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/badfriendspod/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/badfriends_pod Official Website: http://badfriendspod.com/ Opening Credits and Branding: https://www.instagram.com/joseph_faria & https://www.instagram.com/jenna_sunday Credit Sequence Music: http://bit.ly/RocomMusic // https://www.instagram.com/rocom Character Design: https://www.instagram.com/jeffreymyles Bad Friends Mosaic Sign: https://www.instagram.com/tedmunzmosaicart Produced by: 7EQUIS https://www.7equis.com/ Podcast Producer: Andrés Rosende This video contains paid promotion. #bobbylee #andrewsantino #badfriends #sponsored #ad Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Mercy is coming to theaters this Friday. This is the Mercy Corps powered by artificial intelligence. Detective Raven, you're charged with the murder of your wife. I'm not guilty. You have 90 minutes. To prove it. Or you will be executed. Experience an immersive thrill ride.

Every camera and cell phones at your disposal. In IMAX. Can I see my daughter's socials? You hear that? Someone was in my basement. Chris Pratt. Maybe she found something she wasn't supposed to. Rebecca Ferguson. You must move from one piece of the puzzle to the next.

I have something here. Oh my God. Mercy. Rated PG-13. Maybe inappropriate for children under 13. Only in theaters. Friday. You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots? White dude. I'm an Asian

dude. We're bad friends. What are you doing here? Richie. You're back? I mean, I see I have eyeballs. I see you. You know what? But why are you back? I don't know if I like it. No? Yeah, yeah. You know what? We should get a, we should get an email to say who's coming. We should.

Because when I walked in here, I kind of had like a little bit of a traumatic, you response. Yeah, it's triggering. Yeah. But I thought we had a positive relationship. No, because one time, do we talk about when y'all was on stage and then you were on the... Oh, no, we didn't, but... I'm in the main room. You're in the main room, and what happened?

And then I'm doing okay. I looked at my right. There's fucking Richie in the front row! Why are you sitting in the front row? Well, I didn't mean to. I got tickets because my friend was in town and he's a huge comedy fan, so I was like, oh, cool, let's go to the store. He wasn't laughing. He just had a permanent smile. This is what he was doing.

Yeah. Freaky. Freaky, dude. Freaking me out, dude. Well, I was nervous. You're a freak! No! You are, dude.

You're a freak, dude. Did I tell you? Yeah, I saw Mighty Supreme? I heard it's good. It's great. Yeah. It's like five movies in one. Are you being positive or negative or negative?

Positive. It's a lot of movies. It's a long, it's a lot of stories in one. We discussed us the other day. It's a lot. It's awesome, but it's like a lot of film. You could have made people get annoyed by this. You could have made a great limited run series TV show out of it.

Oh, I see. Because there's so many sub-stories. going on, like so many different stories that, like, you know, you could have, this could have been stretched out. Did you see it? No. Yeah, yeah. I can't believe you didn't see it.

I'm really full of anxiety right now. Why? Because next week's the weekend. What is it? My special. I know, you're taping. You know, can I say something funny that happened a couple days ago?

I call Abby, my manager. And she, I go. Does she have a phone? No. I do a smoke thing. Bobby needs me Yeah I go

What about intro music Right How much does that cost And this and that And she goes She goes Why don't you just use a public domain song Like a just like it from a

From a free library Imagine this Ladies and gentlemen Boys and girls Bobby Lee Take me out to the ball game Look up the amazing grace says one.

Happy birthday, that'd be such a funny song to come out to you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, public domain? I mean, it would give you

like a couple of minutes up top to joke about it if you did happy birthday. Yeah, maybe. If you're like, hey, man, we can't afford it. We can't afford it. You can't afford it.

You see how elaborate this is. Yeah. Are you excited to shoot? I don't know if excited is the word. It's just like an anxiety, a lot of anxiety, really. You've worked so hard on this.

I know, the hour's going to be fucking amazing. It's going to break records. It's not, but, It's going to get nominated. It's going to break records. It's going to be the highest viewed special on Hulu in history.

I have really bad jokes in it. Well, that doesn't mean it's not going to be watched. You know what I mean? Yeah. Plenty of things that were watched by a lot of people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know? Yeah, that's true.

Yeah, it happens all time. Yeah. Okay. So bad is good. Right? Bad is good. Yeah. So bad.

I mean, bad. To name an album, bad. Yeah. It's good. Yeah, it's good. So it should be Bobby Lee bad. Yeah, bad, yeah. Everyone's going, the family.

The family's going, yeah. I'm sorry I can't be there. It's okay. I saw her in Hawaii. Swimming in the ocean. Yeah, yeah. I saw, bro. Shaka, Ocean Girl.

Ocean Girlie. You're swimming for like three days straight, huh? That's got to be so freeing. How nice she gets to do that? Yeah. No responsibility. No responsibility. Just swim in the ocean three days.

Yeah, man. Hey, everybody. I use air. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Shout out to Colette's company, EBBB. Doing commercials. The commercials are great. Yeah. Yeah, you're acting. I see her acting in it now. Are there any times where she's making you do it and you don't want to do it? Sometimes.

And she convinces you? Yeah. Yeah. When you go out to the ocean and you guys go for a dive day or whatever, how long are you in the water for? I think max is like four or five. Five hours is a long time in water. It's a long time. in the water, but they can just live out there.

Well, they're from down there. Yeah, I know. No, but they love the water. You were born underwater, weren't you? Your mom had you underwater. Yeah. Can I get him the greatest moment of my life? I better be included.

You're not there. Hmm. You're absolutely not there. You're not there. Interesting. It's like one of the most peaceful moments of my line. Oh, I wasn't there, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, no.

When you're around, I get throat, like, you know what I mean? Yeah, lump and. You get sore. Yeah, me too. Yeah, yeah. You get thorough, you're right? I know, I know me too. My whole body hurts.

When I said, when you were on me? Oh yeah. Oh yeah, me too. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So we all went to the Philippines and, what? Nothing.

And you know how they have like millions of the, not millions, but thousands of little islands. Yeah. Around. You can take a little boat, you know, into like a super small island. Right. Like a beautiful day.

And, um. What's on those little tiny, islands. One tree sometimes. That's it. Yeah, yeah. Like one or two trees. Wow. Yeah, so we went on this island and it's so blew the water. Yeah. And I was floating on my back

in the water, right? Where it's like, you know, I mean, you can hear the ocean. Bobbing in and out of your ear. But they can also hear the people so they were like playing games on the, on the beach. That's where you were. So you could hear, you know what I mean? You just hear laughter and joy. But you're also hearing the see right and I closed my eyes and it was the ultimate peace peace I've ever felt and joy it was

nirvana you were zen yeah but you know um when it's so funny but when I was at um that treatment center for trauma right we you know we did this thing where it's like if you do this right and you think about your um that one that was my experience thinking of think of an experience where you're truly peaceful and I got hypnotized and if I do this apparently it takes me back but it never works it never works it never does it work yeah I'm there yeah but it's like um yeah yeah I'm there exactly what's your most peaceful moment I think I talked about on the show it was uh had we done bad friends yet I think it was just at the beginning okay and then I um no right before it was actually right before it had been six years ago okay and I and I had been six years ago and I

I hung out with these people and had a great day, and then I met up with Dermar and got some phenomenal seafood. And then we went to Al-Qa Beach and rented longboards, you know, paddle boards. And I went out on the board and I was just laying out there in the ocean. There's a similar, oddly similar story. And I was just laying on it, just kind of letting this slow, slow wake take me.

And I was like, I could die right now. Al-Qi Beach. It was one of those moments that I just, I don't know why it was perfect. It was just beautiful and perfect Out on the water Something about it It was weird

It was like everything aligned And then the show that night Was fucking awesome Yeah It was at that club in Seattle Parlor Live Yeah, parlor Yeah, I love that club

Where you had to go through the bar Oh yeah, yeah Yeah That was the club where that Native guy didn't let me in remember Oh yeah Yeah, that's the same club That's right

Yeah yeah yeah Well they closed down I know they did It's because of you Yeah Yes you got that native It was a big deal. Yeah, yeah.

Anyway, that's your most peaceful. That was just a moment that, like, you reminded me of when I, I've talked about that before. It just made me feel like, amen. Everything is okay. Yeah. And it was for a little bit. What's your most peaceful moment? But you can't include water because we already did that.

It usually does, though. I know, you're right. You can include water. I think the first time I've, um, free dived with Attecalai. And I was able to go really deep. And I just stayed there for like a long time. How long can you hold your breath for? Not that long.

Maybe just like a minute and like a half or something. So you stayed down there for about a minute and a half? You were peaceful for 45 seconds. Yeah. It was so nice. Oh. And did you come back up and you felt like I want to keep going down as far as I can? Mm-hmm.

Yeah. The free dive thing scares me. Yeah. Two, no, no. I belong up top. What's the swimming of the sharks? When we used to do that bullshit. That was so fun.

No, it was so nice. You don't need to swim with those guys. I'm not doing that anymore. It just doesn't make sense. Yeah. I want to swim with that really big great white shark. Okay. Aren't they all big?

No, like this one is like the... Like that one lady does? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. What's her name? I saw that documentary. That lady that swims with the great white sharks. Yeah, that one.

Yeah. What is that for? What do you get out of that besides almost killed? A relationship. You can develop a relationship. This isn't the octopus teacher. I know. Look at that.

Would you do that? Would I do that? I mean, in what fucking world would I want? Look at how fat that guy is. Get him on a GLP one. Yeah. But he hasn't died, so it means the shark's fine. Yeah, he's eating everything in sight.

Yeah. He'll live forever. She's got a bag of in and out burgers. Is that what that is? You can't see it, but yeah. Double, drop all. Yeah. By the way, he, that is a fat.

fucking shark, dude. Oh, he's a little chode. So scary. So cool. He's so fat, he can't turn around though. He can't get you if you're behind him. Yeah. I mean, no, absolutely not.

What's cool about that? Yeah. They kill humans. I don't mind. You don't mind being killed? No. I mean, they'll tear off an arm. What a bummer.

That's a bummer. That's a bummer. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you're right. If you're going to lose a limb, which one are you going to lose? My left leg, I don't know. Left leg is good. Yeah, yeah.

It's pretty useless, I guess. I understand that. Ocean Ramsey. Because you can hide prosthetics legs with the new high-tech, you know what I mean? Great tech. Prostex, right? Yeah. So you can wear jeans, put a prosthetic on.

Yeah. You can still kind of, you know what I mean? Walk around, right? But with an arm, I think it's harder to hide. It's impossible. Yeah. Although the hands now are looking pretty realistic. They're getting better.

Yeah, but you can't go like this or, you know what I mean? Or shaka or anything like that. You can't do, you can't do. Oh, shaka, yeah. No shaka. Yeah. Or unless you can go. You can do shotgun if you bend it.

Push it down. Like it's kingpin with that fake hand. Yeah, they're getting really good. Whoa. Whoa, dude. That's me. Look at out. Wow.

They're getting really good. It's getting good. It's getting good. Yeah. The amount of these that are going to get stuck up someone's ass, though. Yeah. The rubber one. See, that's why you need metal. So there's no tempted.

What kind of one? You lose in a hand just to get that. No, you don't. Yeah, look at how cool that looks. Okay, dude. You know what I mean? You can leave. It's mind.

controlled bionic arms. So your brain is telling you. Your brain does it. And now Nike has that one shoe where it's attached your ankle and it helps you. What? Right?

Yeah. Nike has a shoe that like is that you can now get where it's like, I think it helps you walk. What? It gives you more propulsion. I don't know what the word is.

Yeah, propulsion's got to be right. Yeah, yeah. That. Wow. So it straps onto your ankles. Yeah, your ankle onto the shoe. And it makes you go faster?

I don't know if it makes you go fat. It can, I think, yeah. Oh, let's get those. How much are those? You're going to get it, right? I might. I know. How much are those fucking...

It looks awesome. I know. I mean, that's incredible. I'm not out or even planning on coming out yet. Okay. Hey, Nike. Yeah, yeah. Send these to us.

Yeah. Those are cool. Let us be the first, let us be the test rabbits for the... Imagine they have like world champion runners doing them, and then they send them to us. Yeah. these are supposed to calm your mind down

they come out this week when you step on it it hits those balls and it sends something to your brain and it relaxes you they're called the Nike Mind Toes I want those two I want those two too too

they're doing it How do they keep doing it? I don't know they got to be stealing from Japanese people There's no yeah no no that's definitely fucking Stolen from Japanese What's it called

What they put the needles? Acupuncture like all the nerves Stealing from the Japanese They're just stealing it from it Yeah, dude that, wow. I really want. But you think it's psychological? Of course.

Yeah, yeah. It's placebo, but it also, but also they've shown that, like, as the shoe has advanced, it does do really good things for your, like when you're running long distances, like a really good running shoe does things well for your brain. Because there's so much in your feet. Yeah. There's so much in your feet. Have you ever seen, like, the reflexology stuff about, like, when they find these trigger points in your feet?

No, like, one thing is release of stress at certain places. and something, it's all connected. Like this works when you do this for headaches and stuff? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why does that work? I don't know why that works. It freaks me out. It freaks me out.

Like we found out where the motherboard is. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But maybe those shoes, we gotta get those, get those for us. Please get those for us, yeah. What else is other high-tech shoes that are coming out? We gotta get more shoes. Yeah, yeah. Nikes that were Bluetooth Nikes.

They- They-speakers? No, they just tied, like, from an app. Like, I would put them on and they would get tight when I would press tie my shoe. Oh, that they would put them on. That's cool. That's kind of cool. That's like auto laces from Back to the Future. Yeah, I had that.

You had those shoes? No, I had like the modern version. Oh. Or the tennis shoe that turns in skates. Sick. No, but there's like... Ice skates or roller skates. Roller skates, but they're getting better now, I think.

Yeah, those, the mags, the Nike mags. Those are the ones from back to the future. What do those do? Self-lacing. Remember from back to the future? Wow. You know what I really wanted? Those were sick, but I also wanted the drying jacket.

Drying mode. All right. That was so cool. And it came out. It came out of the rain like, ooh, it dried. And how far away

from hoverboard? What the fuck are they waiting for? Yeah, what are we, let's get that going. Yeah, well, how are we not doing hoverboard?

They invented that 30 years ago in film. We can't get it done? No, that's not the thing. That's not the hoverboard, dude. No, I just clicked on shopping. They got to be close to getting them. If you make the ground,

like magnet, then you can do it. Then you can do it. But think about, how do you slow down or stop? All right. You're fucked. You're fucked. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know, like, they're creating the train that goes from L.A. to Vegas. Doesn't it use magnets? Isn't it magnet propulsion? Let me ask you something, okay? Would you rather, you know, me and us focus our energy on either high-tech stuff just for, like, everyday household goods or only high-tech stuff for your health? Oh, that's such a good question. You know what I mean? Because I think the health is probably more beneficial, but my God, would it be better around the house stuff?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, I'm talking about hoverboards, you know what I mean, all that kind of stuff. You know what I mean? But it's like... Yeah, fuck health. Let's do that. We're all going to die. I know, but health, you could extend your life for 20 more years.

Why? Exactly. Because if you're 100, you're going to feel like shit. Yeah. There's no way, because they can't make your bones get younger. Yeah. But what if they can? No, they can't.

Can you, like, improve your body and just get you abs and like... I think one day they're going to give us an ability to take your fucking brain and get a new body. What they're doing already doing? head transplants. Richie's interested. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This guy loves heads. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I think they're experimenting with it, but it's like, would you, okay, if you're No successful lasting head transplant with animal experience showing limited survival days to weeks and partial function, but I'm telling you, dude, they're going to get there. They're going to get there. Whose body do you want? Okay, so what, no, no, okay, here's a go. That's a good question. Yeah.

Now, listen, I'm thinking I'm more, if they preserved it, I'm more, Gary Coleman. I always wanted to be a little black guy. What do you think? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. That is such a good lineup. Yeah, yeah. Your Asian head on a little black body?

Black body, we so, I'd be on a sitcom right away. Right away. Yeah, I mean. The work you would get. Hey, everybody. Mr. Cooper, stop. You know what I mean? That'd be cool.

What body would you want? Wait a minute. World's first volunteer of head transplant fails to accept the surgery for a lack of funds from Russia. So this guy was down to do it. Oh, so he could get a able body. What? Because he's... Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. He wants a new body because he's... Fully paraplegic. Peripelgic, yeah, yeah. Right, so he wants a mobile body. But even if you did give it to him, he wouldn't know what to do with it. What do you mean? He's never had one.

What is he? I mean... Well, you can go dancing with Richie. Him and Richie are both doing the same. Blood vessels are being linked with tubes, so they're trying to do it. Yeah. But this is old. They've been tried.

This was over a decade ago they tried with this Russia. No, but now I think it's about to happen, I think. We're going to do it? Yeah, yeah. Try. Are we really going to do it? I mean, by the way, Russia, shout out. They would try it first.

Yeah, we will try. Focus. They don't give a shit, dude. Yeah, yeah. How it's supposed to work theoretically, cooling. Both donor and recipient heads and bodies are cool to slow cell death connection key blood vessels the jugulars and

the carotus are connected to first maintain blood flow to the brain potentially using a special plasma spinal cord fusion because we do those don't we do fusion spinal cord fusion now for people that get in like tragic car accidents and stuff other connections and nerves and trachea esophagus are reconnected but you're kept in a coma for weeks to allow the healing for the body

and then they hope you can come out of it but where do you get the body though does somebody volunteer like you can have my body I'm going to die I'm sure it's someone that just died but died from died from What, though? That would depend, you know what? Like, I don't want his body. Okay, if you go...

If you get into a car accident, right? That's how they use all your organ parts if you're still young and good. Yeah, but the body's damaged. If you're not a car accident, you died from impact from a car accident, the body's no good. That's my point. Where do you get the body? Gun shot to the head. Okay, that's the only scenario.

Gun shot to the head, keep the body on ice. Would you donate your head to science, Jules? Yeah. Would you donate all your organs, all of them? Yeah. Everything. I don't mind. You don't care.

No. Yeah, good. Good for you. Last thing about the head transplant, though, doesn't your brain old? Like if you get a 22-year-old guy's body, right? But your brain's still old. But imagine using that body with the knowledge that you have. But would that extend your life, you think?

Sure, of course. A little bit. Because isn't part of your physical existence, your mental health and happiness? So you would be happier because you're like, wow, I've got this young body. I feel less pain. Wow. First human head transplant two years away, says a surgeon. See?

That was a decade ago. Oh, fuck. No update. Well, on this note, you know what day it is today? Happy birthday. Is it? It's a Martin Luther King day. Is it today?

It's today. Oh, my God. Did you have a dream? Have you ever had a dream? I have a dreaming. You guys used to have a bit like that? A Martin Luther King? Asian Martin Luther King?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. What is it? I have a dreaming. The white people would do their own. laundry. That kind of bit. That's a great bit. Yeah.

Look at him playing pool. MLK. Running the fucking table. Dude. I have a dream. Eight ball side pocket. That album was really good. Is that an air pod in his ear?

Yeah. Oh. You're laughing at you. I love it. I don't want to bottle that up. Put in a genie bottle. Yeah. 300 years,

300 years somebody finds it open. Like, ca, ca, gack, gag, got, Gack!

I imagine he collects laughs. Yeah. You do, you have a can of laughs at home? In little jars right next to the heads. Gross.

I just get scared for these women that go over there and see all these heads. Yeah. Cool. Yeah. When does that time

made a girl over? Like, not that long ago, two weeks ago. Okay. Actually, not two weeks ago because that was a great man.

How many times you wash your sheets? Um, be honest. He's like, sheets. We have to have sheets. Yeah.

I try my best. Anytime somebody comes over, it's an instant wash. But like me personally, just me, like a week or two. That's good. A week? A week or two. And then what? Usually two if it's just me.

What are you? When do you change the sheets? Change my sheets? If there's a lot of boning going on. Like if we're getting them sloppy. Yeah. Every like five days. Okay.

But if there's not bonin, a week and a day or so, it's almost like eight or nine days. Yeah. But if we're hooking up a lot of it's a fun month, then you gotta flip them like every, because then they just get nasty. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah.

But like yeah, I'd say five days, five to eight, depending on the level of bone, bone juice. What about you? Every day. To Bobby. You change him every day. Well, I did until her mom left. You didn't do it.

You had someone else change them every day? Her mom. Your mom would change the sheets every day. Every night. Yeah. She would wash them every day. I have like so many sheets. Yeah.

But she would, just cycle through and wash them all the time? Wow. I'm a king. Feed me grapes. You're allergic to grapes. Yeah, yeah. Not every day, but she would do it once every four days, I think. That's pretty standard. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, for a guy like you, yeah, who lives in the lifestyle that you live. Yeah, I cannot sleep. I've tried without taking a shower. Oh, at night. Yeah. Interesting. Tim Dillon was like, yeah, man, just sleep without taking a shower. I do it all the time. No, it's nice to get into bed clean. Yeah, so I tried it.

And at four in the morning, I was like, I got to take a shower. Right? Is that, I mean, how do people sleep without taking a shower? I'll tell you what I've been doing, though. Yeah. So I've had to shower again at night, even if I just showered, I've been going in the hot tub because the hot tub in the rain. My God, hot tub and the rain.

It's the best. It's the best thing in the world. Wow. Hot tub in the rain, to me, it's just something about it. You're like, I feel like Andy DuFrain when he swam to the pipes of poop. Yeah. You come out clean on the other side. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I don't know what it is. Hot tub in the rain. Yeah, yeah. It's just, it's life-changing. They would have found me in that fucking tube. Like 20 years later. I would have never made it out of there. He made it like 15 feet?

Yeah, they would just see my, you know, a Korean skeleton in there. How long would you last in that poo? There's no way. I could never do it. I could never do it. Well, no, if your life is on the line, if you knew that was freedom and it was how many football, football fields? Four.

Four football fields are crawling through. poo. Gosh. Would you be able to do it? I think you at some point would just check out mentally and just be like it would just be muscle reflex just like go, go, go, go, go. You would just get used to it. And you'd run out of throw up at some point.

Oh my God. You'd have nothing left here. You would get some in your mouth. Bluff. Just get you. Splash. You know. I know.

Yeah. You would do it for freedom. Yeah. For freedom. And then what happens if you got out and there was no rain? He was lucky. He found a rainy day There's no rain.

You're just like shit. There's no, ah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Look at that guy covered in shit running through the streets. Pooh man. That's Andy DeFraim. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Andy, why are you covered in poo? Yeah. He's lucky there was rain. That was a lucky day for him. Stephen King? Yeah. And you know what's so funny? That's a great pairing

because he wrote it because the thunder strikes are when he decided to hit the rock on the pipe. He waited till it rained. That was a part of it. Oh, that's a part of it. Oh, that's a part of it. Right, it had to rain at night.

Yeah, yeah, so he did plan it. You're right. Yeah, but still, you're right, though. Yeah, yeah. Because what if it was thunder and rain was dissipating? Yeah, it could have dissipated. Like, he thought it was pouring down rain. He goes out there, it's just spitting a little bit.

Yeah. How long would it take to get the poop off? Yeah, there's no way. By the way, he washed himself in the water that was poop water. Yeah. So he didn't really get clean. Yeah. It was still poop water.

Oh, so it's the 1950s, right? Yeah. He would never be able to do it in today. No. Yeah, yeah. No, they don't have a pipe. She just got up. There's cameras.

Everywhere. Yeah, TikTokers, TikTok. Videos of them. Yeah, yeah. Twitch streamers being like, come out here with the poo, man. Yeah. Draft King Sportsbook.

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Really? Yeah. What'd you say? That we both really love you. Oh. And then I asked him who on the new... Who you want? What you want?

What you want? Give him headphones. No, no, no, I don't need it. I don't need it. Yeah. He said you don't listen. Whoa. Yeah, that is what he said.

It says you do not listen. I don't think you listen. I think you drift. I was... so hungry. Yeah, yeah. But you see yourself in me. I do.

So it's fine. Yeah, because I don't listen. There's nothing in this. No, yeah. There's nothing in this. Yeah. He's got nothing in the cans. Yeah.

Rudy! Rudy! Rudy! No socks, huh? No socks today. Sockless. Huh? You like them?

So cute. Thank you, girl. Yeah. Those are very Middle Eastern of you. Oh, wow. Yeah. Yeah. I like that.

little bit Hispanic, if you will. Are those Hispanic shoes? Yes, maybe anybody. Did your puppy have those? Everything I wear is Hispanic. You probably don't sleep well. Do you sleep well? I either sleep a lot or no.

It just depends. What was it last night? Last night, it was, I did good last night. But the night before that, I woke up scared, man. You ever wake up scared? Why are you scared? I woke up scared because I drank. I drank and then I woke up scared.

You know what I mean? My left leg, my left leg starts to go numb, but it's in my head. It's all in your head. Where do you stay when you come to L.A.? I stay at the... I stay by the store, close to the store. I want to go by there.

I want to do stand there. Fancy, huh? Runi! Rudy! Rudy! Rudy! Rudy! Say hi to our guest.

Yeah, dude. Hi. Hi. Yeah. You know she's got a massive crush on you. It's unbelievable. Oh my God! She can't stop talking about it.

It's been a continuous thing on the show. Oh, come on. When will you have much of the show? said I want to say to him. Yeah. Yeah, that's what she said. You know what? You're fucking Yoko.

Yes. You're a Yoko. You're a yoke. Why am I yoke? Yeah. Yeah. If you were in a band, she would break it up. You can't sing.

Maybe she's Yoko. She would break it right up. If you started dating her, she'd kicked off SNL so fast. Really? Oh, yeah. Your toxic, Rudy? No. Are you tone deaf?

Me? Yeah. Why? Can you sing? Can I sing? No, no. I can do deep voice. Yeah, but can you some.

You seem like you're tone deaf. That's good. Very good. Only fools rush. It sounds like a foreign guy trying to do that song in English. Yeah. Wise man will say, only will a fool will it be the rushing. Because I can go.

You can dance too, huh? That I do. That I can do. But we've seen that. You've showcased your ability of dance. Yeah. What's the thing that we haven't seen you do on TV that you're like waiting? that's something in your back pocket.

I got to do a soccer thing. I'm good. I'm really good. Do you have anything that's a circle here? These guys will kick anything. I can juggle that baseball. I can do some stuff with it. Can you really?

Probably. Stand up and do it. Yeah. Okay. Oh. Whoa. Yeah, your feet.

You're not wearing socks. Whoa, dude. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Rudy! Oh, bro, you are good. Dude! Yeah. Wow.

That is incredible. That's incredible. dude. Oh, shoeless. Oh, shoeless. Shueless. Okay, sit down, sit down. Oh, right, here he goes. Here he goes. Up. Hey! Hey! Yeah. What are you with that, Ashanel?

How about that? Can your fancy bee do that? We want you to replace our fancy bee so bad, dude. You would be the one. That guy, fancy bee. You guys really, what does the bee stand for? You tell us. Oh. Come on. You stop.

Yeah, yeah. What do you guys love to eat? Yes. You love it? What is your favorite? What? What? What? Beans.

Yes. Yeah. Yeah. I like it too. Nice and beans. I'm a fancy bee. What's your favorite meal that your mom made you?

My mom never cooked a lot. My mom was always traveling for work. What about your grandma? Does that make you feel? My grandma, she didn't cook either. My grandmother was a cashier at a CVS. Seriously? Yeah.

Wow. We didn't have a lot of like... So no home cooked meals for you as a kid? Not really. My mom can make a great arroca sooya. Oh, arroca saura. Bye out. Bing, bim, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing.

That's good, dude. You really live in this dangerous line, huh? I don't have a choice. You'll do anything. Well, I'm not on SNL, dude. I can do whatever I want, all right? I'm free living. The thing that got Shane canceled, I do every week on this show.

Every single week, I think about that, too. It's incredible. That's the freedom of this platform. We're allowed to do it. But you've got to stay a little good little boy. I do. You've got to be a good little boy because you're going to be a movie star, aren't you? I have a job to do.

Are you going to be a movie star? I hope so. You're going to be movie stars. We've got a movie. Netflix. Yeah. You and who? Kevin Hart.

Kevin Hart? Yes, that one. He's done movies with Kevin Hart. So have you. I have. Yes, I have. I just saw you in a movie. No, you didn't.

Yes, I did. Last night. What movie was it? Now you see me, now you don't. Oh my God. Yeah. Yeah, and how was I? It was funny, dude.

You were fun. It was a fun little part. You got a lot of facial hair in that one. Yeah, I grew it out. No, yeah. It's all yours? No, yeah, I did the bush. I did the front push.

We shot that in Budapest. What's this movie you got coming out? Tell us. With Kevin Hart, it's called 72 hours. It's like a bachelor party thing. Oh. Yeah. 72 hours.

I thought it was going to be like an extension of the Nicknulty 48 hours. I thought that was going to be another. What is this? Kevin Hart, wild 72 hours. A new comedy. Who wrote it? Not you. No.

No. Who's that handsome guy? Look at that. Who is that guy? That's Mason Gooding. I'm talking about you, sweetheart. Oh, that's. care about that other guy in the left.

What are he talking? Look at how good looking he looks right there, Bob. Dude. Zoom in on Marcelo. Marcelo, Romano. Wow. Kids built, he's built for the picture. Come on.

It's like Pepsi Cola now. What's up? He's like Pepsi Cola. Like, you think his name is Pepsi? No, no, what I'm saying is is that you're like out there. Yeah. You know what I mean? How's it feel?

It's crazy. It feels weird. This is like, I've only done like four podcasts in my whole life. Yeah. And today I did the third one of my life. And today I did the fourth one. I did like one or two, like before when I first started doing videos online. Yeah.

Which was like 2020. Yeah. So this is like the first podcast. This is the only one that matters. This is the first one. This is the one. Look at you on variety with your shirt off. I know they made me do that.

You didn't want to take your shirt up? You didn't want to take your shirt up. I didn't want to do the shirt. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just don't know what to say. Yeah. So someone came by and was like, Marcel, we'd like it if you had your shirt off and we want to put these costume chains on you? Yeah.

And they go, we have this idea. And then I go, they go smile. And then something felt weird. to me about smiling with my shirt off. So I was like, I can't do that. Can you do that face? I want to try to do that face. Look it.

Look it. I like that's interesting that they go, take your shirt off, put on these chains, and that was the idea. Somebody did not do their work before. Thank you. They showed up that day and they were like, we have nothing to do this.

And you don't get to approve pictures. Wait, no. Your team never said yes or no to this? No, you just find out. You got to get a new agent. They should send you this before they approve it on them. This was years ago. I don't think people can't get approval.

That's not true. approval. No, it's, dude, when they... I mean, Julia Roberts probably can. Exactly. You get to a point where you start to... He's the male Julia Roberts. I know, I understand that, but... That's America's who love. He's gonna get there, but I don't know if he's there now. Yes, he is. Yeah, okay, get approval then.

But this was years ago. This is America's new sweetheart. Hi. Yeah. You are the representation of America's best. Adios meo. Dude, you guys, you guys, that was the worst one. That one right there in the white. Let me see. That one. That's the worst picture I think I've ever taken.

My God, Tony Matana. What am I doing with my neck? What? You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah, what are you doing? I don't know. You don't get a rule?

I could have been stretching. I could have been stretching there. Yeah. Selling weapons overseas? You know what I'm doing? God. Yeah, but you know what? You still look good.

Thank you, man. The kid still looks good. Are you happy on a little break right now, right? Yeah, a little break. But this has been, I've been busy, dude. I've been doing a bunch of podcasts. I'm doing a screening for my special. Screening for your special.

Tomorrow. Special comes out. January 7th. Yeah. And ooh, one day after our favorite holiday. Yeah. One day. What's your favorite?

Oh. Oh yeah, yeah. Come on, Marcello. Come on, dude. Come on, dude. We were there, dude. We were there twice. We gotta go back.

I had a brick. Just you with a photo, you with your shirt off a change with the brick. If AI was around back then, how many comedians would have promoted their week of shows? Oh my God, dude. So many flyers. So many flyers. Oh, that would have been great. Let me ask you something.

And you don't have to answer this. Okay. Does Lauren know about this show? Like, will Lauren see you on this show? Maybe. Uh-oh. Uh-uh. If something bad happens.

Rudy. Rudy. Stop hitting on me. Rudy! Not! Do you get intimidated by him? Sure. But he's, I've gone to baseball games with him.

He's a cool guy. He's also just such like a, he's like, we all have like a grandparent or somebody that's like, you know, the elder of the family. You call him a grandparent? The elder of the family. Yeah. And it's different when the elder of the family

is like working at like a crazy high level. Yeah. Like it's different when they're retired. It's a different energy. He's, he's, he's different. He's on. He's on. Oh, right, right, right.

Yeah, yeah. He's doing the thing. Yes, he's still very much doing the thing. He's still your dad. Wow. He's still your papa. But if he's like, come here? You have to go with him, right?

Yeah, yeah, I go to baseball game. Well, you go to baseball. You like, you guys, you guys love baseball. My people, yes. Yeah. We love baseball. And it's been very, very good to you. How you see your face?

How you see your face? How you see your face? What are you doing? Shut up. He's flirting with you. Have you seen your face? Ah, how good does Bobby look these days? Honestly, take a good look at the skateboard behind him.

Look at how fatty was in that photo. I mean, that is a dead. Like, that's a great comparison. That is a before and after right in front of your fit. 100%. When you're like that, no one tells you. I told you all the time. I know, but I thought you're joking.

I wasn't. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But other people out on the wild, they're like, no, you look good. No, I didn't. I didn't look good. You know what I mean? But this was good.

This has always been good. But fuck this. All right, yeah. I want to look good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is nothing. I prefer you fatter, because of all the way?

You just feels like you look huggable. Oh. Right. No, you're kind of look sexy. It's nice. Yeah, he's sexy now. I don't know if I look sexy. Yeah, you do.

It's a stretch. But let me say something. I am excited for his transition. He's going to get... I want to get rid of it. He's going to get rid of it. You know it. It's the stage.

It's the next thing. Right. They're going to go look. Marcelo. You're great on SNO. We love seeing you on the show. But we want the movies. We want the girls.

We want the money. They gotta get him jacked. Yeah. Because he's in good shape. Lift up your shirt. Oh, come on, man. Come on. Come on.

Come on, give him some money, guys. No, no, no. You want to see? Yeah, see, he's in great shape. Skin and bones. What size you waist? 28? 30.

30. Yeah, right, liar. 30 with the belt. No, 30. I got big legs. I played soccer forever. See, sexier. You know what?

You know what stage I'm waiting for? What's up? Stage five. What's that? You know what stage five is? Hey, Marcelo, it's Bobby. Gone. Oh, I'll never.

I'll never. When does that stage happen? Dude, you guys have such a special place in my heart. You don't even realize it. I was in the pandemic. I had a panic attack in my house. I was spraying my family. I was spraying my family.

I was, I swear. My mom, I sprayed my whole family. My mom would get home from the supermarket. I go naked now. Take the clothes off. I take the clothes off. I throw it in the washing machine. Yeah.

They hated me. My sister would be. You were paranoid. Dude, it was really bad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was really bad. Don't play a fool with me, Nigeche. It was really bad.

And I was spraying, spraying, spraying. I was mad at them. They were like, we were to go to lunch at a restaurant, and I go, you gotta kill us all. I was doing, I was insane. I was spraying my sister's hands. I was being like a real psychopath. Was he a little bit like that?

No, but Kalila was like that. Kalila, yeah, yeah. We get food orders, right? Outside, we'd have to spray it down for 30 minutes. Let us sit out there, let the air do its thing. You know, the reason that she really got on the show was because Kalila didn't trust him to not go do something when we were done filming.

Yeah. So she was kind of like a liaison, a child, by the way. Right. She was in high school. She was in high school when she started the show. She was babysitting Bobby. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I remember, dude, I'm telling you,

I used to watch it every night. I used to listen to it to go to bed. I needed people to be pretending like things were fine. Yeah, we did. And you guys did that. But we were so dumb, we don't know any better. We didn't know it wasn't fine. You guys sitting relatively close to each other

and talking and being funny, it saved my, I truly believe it saved my life. Wow. That's very sweet. For me, like really losing it. And I did end up, I had to move out of my mom's house. I had to move to my dad's because it was like so content, contentious. And what about your dad?

Then your dad didn't care at all. My dad is just like two guys living in the house. When it's like your mother and your sister, the people that you're supposed to protect, you're like, don't move a muscle. You know what I mean? But with my dad, I was like, it's okay, we're guys, it's fine, we'll be fine. Yeah, you didn't care if you guys got COVID together. Yeah, I thought it was like, it's just two guys.

Like, we'll figure it out. But it's like your sister and your mom, it's different. Yeah. Protect. That's what you do with her and them? Did you get COVID? I eventually did get it. Yeah, yeah.

Do you like it? I was... No, I got it bad, dude. I couldn't breathe and stuff. Yeah, it was bad. It was bad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You did get it bad.

I was laying on my side trying to... You don't have any health issues from when you were a kid? No, but I don't... Like, I think I have to, like... I stopped smoking. I used to smoke. I stopped smoking because I think I...

My lungs, I don't think are good. Give him a cigarette. Come on. Start again. Let's do it. We're here, right? The stress. The stress.

You got to start. He started smoking again, do it? You're a sneaky healthy guy. I'm healthy, but I, but I like to. Yeah, yeah, whiskey, yeah, whiskey. I like whiskey. Yeah, I love whiskey. You want some, there's someone in the other room. Be a little bad boy after the show. Be a little bad boy after the show. Yeah, there'll be it. I want him to quit smoking. Tell him out of quit. How do you quit? I, I don't know if you've, but he's tried everything. That's a problem with a guy like this. What do you mean? What do you mean? It's the problem with you. You tried everything. You tried everything. You've tried everything. You've

You've started every drug and quit it. Yeah, I quit, quit, quit. It's the same thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You started and then. And what the fuck did you mean? What do you mean? Yeah, yeah. You know what? I did quit for two years. You started again. I know, I started again, but I'm just saying.

Now you've been a guy like this. Over a year now, right? What? How long has it been? Over a year? Yeah, yeah. You've been smoking again. I know, here's the thing.

I'm going to quit after my special. That's not true. Yeah. Yes, it is. Yes, it is, right? We have a pact. It will. Let's put an amount of money on it.

Give him. He goes, we have a pact. No, we don't know. Yeah, yeah. See, he doesn't listen. No, because you have one thought. You said make a pact. He didn't do it.

I know what I'm saying, no, though. What's that guy's name in the Maroon? No idea, but that's Carlos. And who's the guy in the back? You know who that guy is? No. Yeah, that's McCone. He's nervous, dude.

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Free shipping and 365 day returns, quince.com slash bad friends. Just based on looks in an apocalyptic moment, right? Like zombie apocalypse, whatever, right? You had to choose four people out of this room to be in your kitchen. team to survive, who would you pick? Easy. Yeah, go ahead. Give it. Easy. It's you three. Rudy, I know when we get out there,

Rudy's going to be a secret leader of the pack. 100%. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I'm going to go with Carlos. I mean, the other two, I like you guys. You seem easily killable. Like I can be killed very easily. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now, what's the first errand do you make Carlos too in the apocalypse? Because he's the Aaron guy. He's the runner. Yeah. Yeah, I mean. Get bullets. What do you mean bullets? Oh, you mean the apocalypse here. Like a zombie, like a zombie apocalypse. Oh, zombie apollo. You have a compound. Yeah. You know what? You know what? I don't even tell him.

He knows. He knows. A guy like that. What's the bullet look? Give me the look. What look? Oh, like, when I need him to go do something? Yeah, yeah.

Don't say anything. Like, I'm Carlos, right? And I look at you. Like, give me the bullet look. I go like, no, and it's not bullet. Carlos knows what we need. Okay. Not be bullet.

Okay. But I go like this. I go, hey. I'm on it. Yeah, I'm on it. You're in the car. I'm already getting bread. You're in the car.

I'm getting bread. You want bread? You got it. Now, let's ask this question. That's why you're not the Aaron guy. You'd come back with bread and we're like, we don't eat fucking bread. Goes bad so quickly too.

Golly, dude. Carlos, zombie apocalypse. I look at you, I go, what are you going to get? A couple girls who haven't been. Okay, Carlos. Carlos, girls who haven't been bitten. Okay. All right.

Yeah. Smart. I understand. I understand. I understand. I understand. Yeah. I understand.

But you know what's going to happen? Yeah. Carlos is going to go get these girls. Yeah. Then he's going to try to be cool, show off in his new car. You know, he's like, donuts in the parking lot. He ended up getting them bit. Anyway, he still shows up with him, and he's like,

they weren't bit when I got him, but they're bit now. But we can hang with them for a little bit. And I've been thinking about it, and I think we should all just get bit. What do you guys say? Should we just get bit? Let's just get bit. Yeah. Yeah, you would.

Yeah, it would be fun because it'd be like a version of getting high probably. I see. I know. You're seeking. You're seeking. The addict is seeking. Are you sober? No.

No. We've tried. We've tried for a long time. But in a zombie apocalypse, If you saw a hot zombie, fully hot, would you try to hook up? If I had a really bad injury already and I was... But you're not, you don't have the fucking virus though, right? You see a real, like the titty's out.

The body's still fine. Maybe some scabs. You know what I mean? A couple of scabs. A couple of scabs. You know what I mean? The eyes are completely white. I did this still good.

I did this in real life, though. Like I would go to party. Yeah, methad. No, COVID. Oh, COVID. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, he would have given you a panic attack. Yeah.

He would have given you a panic attack. There were parties in the hills during COVID. Then you would go and try to No, not try, he would do He hooked up with a bunch of people during COVID It's actually where he hit the most home runs During COVID Because he was the only guy willing to just go for it

And to you, it's easy to hook up with chicks Not anymore, it's like I get older This is not true He is a, he's got a problem He's got a problem He does very well women Yeah, it's projecting from Bobby obviously Really?

How dare you? Really? You just said I have a problem with women Explain yourself, dude You're one of the most problematic people with women Wow. Whoa. Whoa, that's heavy shots, huh?

Yeah, that word. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Word is crazy, right? Issues with women. Whoa, right? Wow, right? A lot.

Crazy. A lot, he says. Lots. Yeah. What else? I mean. And you have no, you have no issues with women. Countless.

Countless. Yeah, no, no. We're the same, no? Yeah, but I'm just saying you were projecting. It's like the pot, calling the cattle back. Yeah. And the pot will call you back if you leave your phone now. We'll call you back at some point.

You're a, honestly. Yeah. Why are you doing? Why are you doing? Something today. Something going on. You shot it. Before you came, he was shooting.

I was so nice to you today, too. And you could shoot. Good evening, Carlos, I said. He did he back. How was your day? He was bragging that he stayed at a nice hotel and I needed to just tell him, oh, I've also been there. Like, let's not brag.

These guys have been button heads today for some reason. What's the deal with you, man? I know, dude. Because he's Hispanic, you're Hispanic. You guys kind of, you know, right? Connect. Connect. He might be the whitest looking Hispanic of all time.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's your, why is it? Why am I white? Yeah, what's your, yeah. Mexico's city, my parents are Spanish. That's why. You speak Spanish? No.

They're Mexican, but they're Spaniards. All right, so tell Marcelo you wore those socks for him. Go ahead and tell him about your socks. What do you mean? Oh, play dumb now. Now that he's here, tell him about the socks you wore and why you wore him. Well, you bought them for him. Like, I'm going to buy these because Marcello's coming.

I think these are cool. Yeah, yeah. Tell him. Why those particular socks did you buy? It's annoying. I do the Universal City Walk. Well, because it's new. but I don't know if it's in your culture to eat dogs,

but in my culture it's okay to eat dogs. And I thought that it would be nice to share culture. Say, is that sweet? Okay. No, listen, Rudy, I love, I really do love Rudy. I'm a fan of yours, I have to tell you. We don't eat dogs in my culture. Yeah, that I know of.

Yeah. No, but I'm sure it's, it's, people think it's a cultural thing. I do think it's a socioeconomic thing. I think it's like, who, who can we grab? And the dog, you go, and then... I think you're right. I think you're right. My mom said that in Cuba, they were eating horse.

That'd be so tough. There's no fat. Yeah. Did you see that video on TikTok or the... I don't know what race they were, but they were boiling a horse head. It was very horrifying. What? What is your algorithm? My algorithm was like that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just boiling horse head. Oh, no. Yeah, yeah. That's on Ventura. It's on TikTok. Yeah, that's on Ventura. Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

What do you mean? No, no, no. No, no, no. Like, open, look. No, no. All right, all right. All right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, he's brushing his teeth first. It's very nice. It's got cavity. Yeah. You can't need cavity. No. That's crazy. It's crazy.

It's crazy. Yeah, yeah. All right. All right. Enough. Enough. He's getting sick. Take it off, please.

Bobby, no. Oh, so you don't like any of that. Not, I mean, what do you mean, Any of it. Yeah. What does that even mean? Any of it. There's more.

Like that kind of stuff, you know what I mean? Yeah, you don't like it. I got, yeah. I'm not sure what it is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What is your late night post-show meal? You got to have like a late, whether it's stand-up or taping in SNL.

What do you do in late night? I need to change it, but I love to get home after doing shows and have like a burger with fries. In New York, I do 7th Street Burger. Have you tried it? Mm-mm. It's really good. Smash burgers.

They're amazing. Smash burger. And it's open late? It's open super late. It's gotta be. These guys aren't done till one in the morning. That's the best. And then here I love In-N-Out, dude.

I really enjoy it. It's good. I like the energy there. The people inside of In-N-Out, they're taking it serious. They are. They're taking it serious. They all feel like they're on camera,

and they probably are. But yesterday we were a couple days ago, we went and we're in the window. We're waiting to get to the lady that gives us the food. And there's a guy in the window and he's looking at us, and we're looking at him

and we're kind of just waiting for the food. And then he goes like this. He goes, like he wanted to play rock paper scissors. Wow. You know what I mean? Did you do it? Yeah, of course. Did you win?

No, he won. I think he does this a lot. He knows. Yeah, what's your first boot? Just right now, instinct. You want to do it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like one, two, three.

It's always, I just. On three, you do it. No, no, you go rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Correct. It's one to rock, paper, scissors. Shoot. Okay, ready? You want to do it?

Rock paper, scissors, shoot. Yeah. You won. I've never won that game. I've literally never won that game. You want to do one? Go ahead. Rock paper, scissors, shoot.

Rock paper, scissors, shoot. Whoa. Rock paper, scissors, shoot. You got me. I did. He also went three times the same thing. So I knew what he was going to do it again. Yeah, so that's why I did rock to let him win.

Three times the same thing. I think you did that. Why did you do that? Well, because I want you to feel good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm your friend. Oh, fuck. There's a therapist somewhere that's like, if they do paper three times in a row.

Very sad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And tell us about your father. You did paper three times. Wow.

It means you don't learn or something. What's your in and out order? I'm going to guess. You know what? I got it. Give me. I'm picky. Okay.

Yeah, I can tell. Yeah, you are. You're a little sweet prince, aren't you? I am, yeah. Well, he's trying to lose with animal style. Animal style is not lose weight. The animal style is just with, that's just with grilled onions. No, protein style.

No, protein style. No, he doesn't do that. Fuck that. But I will tell you, he doesn't like the onions. He gets those off of there. No onions? Yes, onions. Yes, onions.

Yeah, onions, dude. But there is something I take off of there. Tomatoes? Chis? They're sauce. You do? Yeah, they're sauce. Blasphemy.

Yeah. You take the sauce off? Double, double, lettuce, tomato, onion, no sauce. No sauce. No sauce. You love it. I love it. Yeah.

Do you eat the pepperon chinis? What's that? Oh, come on, dude. Come on nothing. I was going to talk about it. You don't know nothing. Caporocino, right there, pepperichino. What do they call them?

They're the chilies? Yeah. The chili? They're not that spicy. They're not spicy. They're not spicy. They're not spicy. Yeah.

I think also you like that stuff. Yeah. Like I'm seeing you go like this. Don't look at me like I ask the phrase the question. She goes like this and I go, you like that stuff and she goes, what? You were, your body language was, yes. She likes wild shit. Yeah, I bet.

Do you know what Balut is? No. Oh my God. You look at the photo. You go to their house and you eat whatever. Okay. Look at me right now before you look at the photo, okay. All right.

Ballute is this, right? Blute. Ballute. Ballute. You say it's ballot. So they take a duck egg. Ballut. Right?

And then two weeks before the duck is born, then they boil it. Yeah. Right? And they ferment it. Yep. Right? And so you eat kind of a baby ducky kind of situation.

Look at the balloon. That's what it is. It's so good. They love it. They love it. They love it. You put vinegar and salt and you just slurp the sauce inside. It's not sauce.

Marcelo. That's guts. Marcello. You can taste the feathers. Yes. I've had it before. We had it on this show. I've seen you guys talk about it.

When you crunch on the skull, you can see the brain squirt in your baby brain squirt in your mind. All right, all right. You know that's what this show has become now. Yeah. No, we know. You just stir fried a horse head. And then you showed me this. Yeah, yeah.

Wow. People of the world. They have different diets. So no sauce on the double double. I don't like, I'm not a big sauce guy. I also think, um... You like fries as is or you need a more crispy? Fry's as fries as fry.

I can do it more crispy. I like them more crispy. You know what I mean? Are you a gravy guy? No, I think that's gross. Okay, any gravy on biscuits or anything. And what's the soda order in this combo? Seven up.

I'm a Sprite guy. When I was little, my dad told me that Coca-Cola had cockroaches in it because he was scared of me having caffeine and then being a problem. I see, I say, I say, yeah, yeah. Seven-up, Sprite. Seven-up or Sprite, yeah. Yeah.

But I think once you, as you get older. You get a better palate, yeah. Your soda palate changes. I think you're just looking for excitement. Do you look at us like old men? Huh? You look at us like old men. Not old men.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But definitely older men. Yeah, older men. Yeah. I think the... When you look at Lauren and me, it's different? Yes, different. Oh, yeah.

Close, close. No, Lauren, I would say it's closer to me because he has gotten to an age where you can kind of, you can make mistakes and stuff and they're like, oh, he's old. Same way if I make a mistake, they go, oh, he's just a young guy. You guys, what you're doing, it's important. Don't say that. The decisions you're making.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? The one with the glasses and the beanie and the hoodie inside, he's okay. Yeah, yeah. He can make mistakes. He's 24. I have people go out he's 24 Yeah

And then the other one You know Mysterious Mysterious He's 25 he thinks he's more superior He's 26 That's right I always forget that you got

You grew up And you're 24 now right That's insane Bobby does it feel a little bit good To have like these white guys Running around Do whatever you say I do like it

Yeah There is a part of it I would like yeah It is a part of it Yeah It's my time I'm no longer running You know

Because in the beginning I ran I got all kinds of stuff. So today, candy bar, I'll get it. You know me, but not anymore? They get the candy bar. You know Skank Fest? Yeah.

I used to do, I was an intern at Skangfest in 2019, 2018. Wow. And I, so they basically had, I was doing everything. I was setting stuff up. I was making the goodie bags for the comedians. I was doing all that stuff. And then one day, the lady that runs the thing, she goes, the impractical jokers are coming.

And they would need a charcutory board. It sounds like an impractical joke Sal and them are coming and they need a charcotri board it's gonna be Sal, David Tell they're doing this thing and you need to get them a charcutory board and they give me a charcutory board

and they give me a charcutory board and now I'm in Brooklyn I'm an intern, I'm by myself and I need to get a charcutter report so I'm running around from Delhi to Delhi do you do shakur report they go this is a deli what are you talking about and go over and over nobody knows

nobody knows nobody knows for how many people's a shakotry board I go like 10 people they go that doesn't exist you're talking about something finally I show up to a place I think it was a career I think there was a Korean guy behind the thing.

And I don't know. Yeah, you don't know. There's no way to know. Okay. And I don't remember, I didn't ask him. It was an Asian guy and it was in his deli and I go, I need a Shark Corrie Board and he goes, I'm sorry man, we don't do that and I go, do you have, um, let me Google what's in our Shark Korean Board.

And I go, do you have this? Do you have this? Do you have this? Do you have this? You have this? He goes, yes, I have all those things. And I go, can we make it together? And he goes, I don't know how much that would cost.

I go, it's not my card. And the guy goes, okay, so now I'm behind the deli, behind the glass, and I'm chopping stuff up with him. You're making a shirketer bar. Wow. If I was, let me say, if I got that as a chikuri bar without that, like, you know, little jam and, you know what I mean, all the little thing. Well, you didn't let him finish.

Maybe he got the jam. I don't think he did. You didn't get jam, but we took sandwich meat and you chopped it up. That's not a chikuri board. Sandwich meat. We got cheeses, different cheeses. Okay, okay. Cucumbers.

Okay, what's the peppers, the long peppers. And we put them all together in a thing that made two of them. Yeah, two of them, and then the guy goes, I don't know what to charge you. And then honestly, he was like, he looked at me and he was like, I had a good time. Like we built a kind of a relationship, and then I walked in like a legend

because they were really panicking about the charcutty board and I walked in with the charcuttery and they were like, how'd you do this? And I got, no more about it. And I'll tell you some, the jokers didn't even touch one piece of me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the worst part is whenever we get something in a rider,

it's like we didn't even ask for it. Someone else said, they's gonna want this and we never fucking eat any stuff they put in there. No. Ever. The most beautiful thing is I did that. David Tell and all these guys were in the screen room. And I didn't get like a big, you know what I mean?

Congratulations, you did it. We were in a tough place you saved us. I didn't feel like I got the credit I deserved. But they were thankful. It just was like I didn't know what I went through. And then the next day at Skangfest, David Tell came up to me. And I guess he had seen me deliver it and he gave me a bag of oranges. Yeah.

Oh. Did he know you did stand up? Yes. I think so. He's one of the sweetest guys. He's a sweet guy. people. You know, like when he goes to the cellar, he brings gifts for everybody. That was so nice. Have you ever done Skank Fest now? No. So you only interned? You never even

got to do it. No. They gave me five minutes though at the end of it. I caught one of those little shows they let me do. Crushed. Oh wow. Crush. I don't think so. It was early. And Skangfest is like there's something they want to hear. Yeah. And I'm not exactly like that's not your thing. How'd you end up interning? How did that even start? A friend of a friend. I interned for impractable jokers. I was a, I used to hide the cameras. I used to stand in front of the guy that has the camera. Yeah. And I used to wear all black

and stand in front of him. That's funny. Yeah, yeah. Really? Yeah. Wow. In a park and you stand there and then I did that for a couple of times.

I did the Impracto Jokers thing. And then one of the ladies that was a producer on Impractive Jokers, she knew the producers from Skank Fest and then she put us together and then I did interning there. Wow. Yeah.

And look at you now, young man. Look at you now. With Rudy, Rudy. With Rudy. Rudy. Rudy, Juliani. Rudy, do you have any questions that you want to ask Marcello?

Oh, because this is the time, man. He came all the way here for you. True. Don't stall out. This is so crazy you're stalling out. All day she's like so excited to meet you and then she's stalling now. Just say what you need to say.

I think you're upset that we don't eat dog. I think we can still be friends. I am. It's okay. Do you like Posole? Posole. No, I've heard of it. I'm like, can't tell you what it is.

Oh, that's all my question. Okay. That's not your question. That's all. That's the one. Yeah, she does research. She does research. Yeah.

She works hard on this show. I mean, there's so many other questions you can ask. Yeah, almost anything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you nervous in front of him? No. Oh, Carlos. You're not.

You're not. I think you are because you're hamming it up more than usual. Ooh. Yeah. Like your improv is way better. Yeah. Wait a minute. Are you really nervous a little bit?

Be honest, it's okay. He can't hear us. Because you knew who he was, right? She said it quieter. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe a little bit. Yeah, a little bit.

That's fine. That's fine. That's fine. Yeah. Do you like dogs? No, don't. No, you can't do the dog. Can't go the dog again.

I mean, there's so many. Did you see. Like, As pets. No. My mom has a little tiny dog. I like it. Did you see Godzilla minus one? No, what's that?

It's a movie. I can imagine that. Okay, good. You can ask anything. You know what I mean? Do you like the wind? Huh? Do you like the wind?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Hate. You hate the wind. It's one of my least favorite elements. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's your hair like? What is it?

Orange? No, no, like, what's it like, the shape? short? Short? Okay. It's a nightmare right now? Yeah, I was expecting like a... Yeah, yeah.

Oh, no. Oh, I just took a shower after the gym and came here. It's like a... Bobby. Like that. Dude, Bobby is good, man. Bob. 54 still got it.

It's really nice. It's really nice. Still got it, thick. Really freaking good, man. Really good, man. I'm really good, dude. I'm sexy, dude. You have always been sexy.

I'm sexy, dude. Even before you lost the weight you were sexy. I have an idea. You what? You guys do this stuff all the time. They'll be a favor. This new bob. Bobby, skinny Bobby, kind of like taking care of your body

going out there, single Bobby. Body, body. What do you do? Now, would you say you have a little bit more confidence now out there? With women? Yeah, with women? Can you keep the hair for a second? So you have a little more confidence with the women, you would say?

No. No? No, I mean, what do you mean? I always have confidence. Because you look better. But you know you look better. What? You know what, here?

I'll tell you something, okay? Marcella, all right, right? Right? I always shoot my shot. Yeah. Okay? And you know what? I'm not Robin Hood.

Sometimes the arrows miss. Can I see an example? Can you shoot your shot right now with Andrew just so I can see it to me? Yeah, yeah. Well, what's the scenario? I got you. You're at a bar, right?

What kind of bar? I need specific. I have a better scenario. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You just did a show at the store. Okay. There was a girl in the crowd that was watching you. You liked it.

She was laughing. She liked your show. Yeah. You like her. You see her at the bar outside of the... Okay, in the patio. In the patio. Yeah, yeah.

And you walk out and you see her there and you make eye contact. Yeah. And you walk over. I walk over and I go, hey. I'll go, hey. I'll see something random. I'll let you do it for real.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You like the wind? What's up? What's up? I noticed you from across the room. Yeah. She's drunker than you thought. Yeah, yeah.

What kind of jacket is that? All Saints. Oh, I love All Saints, man. I have two, one of them, the, I have a leather jacket. Are you Chinese? I think it's making me nervous, too. Yeah, I'll make it nervous. You're making me nervous.

What you mean? Hold on. Let me do it together. I got to wear the hat. Yeah, yeah. You can come in. Yeah, yeah, come in. Hold on.

Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to be real. But that's it. We're still doing. Yeah. You're being weird. He's being weird.

I'm drunk at the bar. I'm drunk at the bar. I'm drunk at the bar. But you're excited that he's coming over. You like to show. Oh, I like to show. Oh, God. Yeah.

See, I don't want that. I wouldn't hit on that girl. I know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do it with me. Do it with me. This is the fucking dead end, dude. Yeah, it's a dead end.

I like black guys. Yeah, yeah. China boy. Yeah, there's no way, dude. Yeah, yeah. I'm Korean. Yeah. Okay, you can flirt with.

Go ahead. I saw your show. Oh, you're doing it now? I saw your show. Oh, yeah? So funny. I didn't go up tonight. No, I've seen your show.

Your bad friend show. I don't have a podcast. How'd you know it was a podcast? I did. She's good now. You got me. She's good now. I do have one. Thank you.

Yeah, you're so funny on there. Thank you so much. What do you do? Tech. Oh, I love tech. Yeah. Yeah. Tech sales.

Your Nike has a new shoe where you can strap it to your calf, and it makes you run faster. Really? Yeah. Do you have them? No, I'm going to get one. You know what? I love tech. I like all kinds of tech.

Yeah. In fact, I have two robots in my bedroom. Really? Yeah, yeah. What do they do? Emo, I can ask for the weather. And email goes, I go, good morning, Emo. Hello, Bobby.

I go, what's the weather like? It's gonna be cloudy today. You know what I mean? And then sometimes you can shake him and he goes, whoa! Right? Because he gets like, you know what I mean? And then you're like, and also at nights,

I always have to say goodnight. Yeah. It's just a little robot, but I go, goodnight, email. Do you know Marcelo? No, no, no. Could you introduce me to him? Marcelo, who? You know.

Hernandez? Bobby, at no point did you shoot your, shot with this woman. Look, look, I'll fuck you if you introduce me to Marcella. No, no, no, Marcel, let me say something. His shots are slow. Shot took a long time.

No, no, no, no. It's a lot of arc. Yeah, I'm waiting for you to say something, it's not a straight, a compliment. Why don't you hit on him and see what happens? Go ahead. No, no, let me just say something. Oh, he's offended.

I'm not offended. No, I'm not offended. I was a little offended by the notes. It took a long time. I understand that, right? Okay, when I'm just there, right? Sometimes you open, right? It's a slow open.

Yeah, he's a slow open. And it's a fast close. Oh, wow. Right? You slow open fast. Yeah, yeah, yeah, right? So what I'm saying is that I just showed you a technique called slow open. Got it.

Okay. It was a lesson. And kids like you don't understand that move. Yeah. You go straight up. You want to fuck? I don't do that. No, no.

You want me to hit on you? Yeah, yeah, go ahead. Okay, ready? Is it got to be me? Yeah. All right. Hey. Oh my God.

Hey. Hey. Wait, are you on SNL? Yeah. You just, you saw the show inside I did in the comedy store. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, you're really funny. Thank you, so. I went to the bathroom halfway during it, but I came back in the close.

The last couple of jokes you did was funny about your mom and the Puerto Rico. Well, thank you so much. It's really good. Yeah. The way you do your accents. Dominican Republic, Cuba. Is it the same? No, yeah, sure, it is.

Okay, yeah. Is it? You're funny too. What? Yeah, I think you're funny. Yeah. What's up? Nothing.

I just wanted to come to stay. You live in New York? Yeah, I just want to say hi to you. Hi. I thought you were cute. Yeah, thank you. Candice, let's get the fuck out of here. Okay, let's go.

Who's that guy? Hold on. Hold on. Candice, that's your name? Yeah, I'm Candice. Why? Well, no, nothing. Owens.

I was just making sure. You don't know what? You know what? I'm a podcast. Uh-huh? You know what? Now that I think about it. Good date.

Good date. It was a good date. Yeah, yeah. Oh. See, he closed, but he closes with a smile. You know? He just flashes those. Yeah.

Look at those things. The same. It's for a long time. You have braces. Marcelo, fuck off. It's so different for you're young, you're on a show, you're on the rise. I'm a sinking ship, I'm the Titanic.

Let me say something to you right now. Can I say something? No, no. Let me do Bobby. Can I say something? Can I'm going to say something? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going to say something.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And what I want to say is, yeah. And I want to say one thing. Bobby, yeah. When you think about it, right, what are women looking for? Someone that's successful, someone that's working a lot, someone that's busy and someone that's taking care of themselves.

I think the criteria is different. I think the criteria is different. I do too, right? Two different worlds. Yeah, now women are like, they need to be six to. No. Yeah, I've seen them. TikTok.

Yeah, yeah. I get that and I get the boiling horse head and my TikTok feet. Okay, all right? So I get two things, right? And then I, you know what I mean? And they're like, I want six two. They have to make three million a year. And their criteria is different.

No, they're not. I'm five four. You know what I mean? I'm weird. I forgot you were five. Five four. Yeah, yeah. How tall are you, little?

Five, eight. Are you really five eight? Yeah. But you're 54. Five four, fifty four. It's a good luck. Maybe that's good luck.

That's good. Yeah, it's a good thing, right? How tall are you, Andrew? Six one. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And he developed a personality.

My personality is fucking. No, yours is fantastic. He's not saying it's bad. Yeah, yeah. He's not saying it's bad. You don't think I have a personality? It makes sense that you have a personality. Oh, that's what you're five four.

Oh, that's what you're saying. You know what I have a personality? Yeah. Red hair. Red hair. What did you grow up? They came at you for that? A little bit.

Yeah, yeah. A little bit. The Chicago Projects. No. Yeah. Not? In the projects. No, it was in the projects.

Oh. I always tell people that you were from the project. Why do you do that? What? It's like one of those stand and deliver kind of, you know what I mean? Yeah. Cabrini Green. He was in the project.

He rose. You know what I mean? The story is better. Yeah, it is. Yeah. I like the story. If you stand for the suburbs, we'll give a fuck. It's like Malaney.

From the project. Yeah, from the project. Yeah, so, yeah. Toughest part of Russia. Yeah, I'm from the streets of Korea, dude. From San Diego. I know, but I tell people. Korea's San Diego.

Yeah, yeah. Pusong, dude. Yeah, yeah. During the war, dude, I had nothing. He really did, and he had a scrown. Took a little boat to America, went to open mic, and here I am. They used to do open mics on the boat on the way over. Yeah, yeah.

You'd kill. Hello, it's on. Everybody, everybody, everybody is this on? It's me doing stand-up on a boat. I know. I know. You got to do it. security, I did an accent. No. Yeah, a little bit. Yeah, a little bit. I do accents. I know you do. You do

accent. I do, I do. You speak Spanish too, huh? Yeah, sometimes. Sometimes. He speaks Spanish? What do you say in Spanish? I can't, well, I can't say it because you'll know it. But say it. No, man. Have some fun, man. No, because our Latin audience has been writing letters lately. Is that true? They're really upset. Yeah, they're upset. Carlos knows and Fancyby, they've been writing a lot of letters. Say what? Just about the way that we treat our Latin employees. And we should say that the Latinos that you're going to be fine and everything's going to be okay and we love you here. They didn't write us letters. I was joking about Latino people. Let's say something positive. Let's say something positive. Let's go around the room. I have many things I want to say. Let's go around the room. Yeah, and Rudy should go first. Okay, go. What do? Yeah. I love their food. I love their language. You can't do more than one. You can't do more. We all need it. We all need. We all need some of that. We all need. We all need. We all need. We all need. We all. We all need. We all. We all need. We all. We all. I'll need. Go that. All right. I'll talk. Go ahead. Go ahead. All right.

You'll know what I say it. You'll know what I mean. Okay. I have a dream too, Richie. La Bamba. Richie Valens did. Okay. You love Richie Valens did.

I love him. That's nice. Oh, Dana. Oh, don't know. You're still Asian while you're doing it. I do it in Japanese. Yeah. Yeah.

It's like a Japanese Richie Valenz. I met a go. Dono, oh, no, no. Really good. Really good, yeah, yeah.

Al-la-la-la-la-la-pamba. Necessita. Go ahead. Go ahead, man. Some of those beautiful women, I think, I've ever seen in my anthra. Oh, my God. Alleluia. My biggest, my first crush, my first crush was at an arcade and a Puerto Rican chick,

who was much older than me, was with, like, her little brother who was near my age. And for the first time in my life, I thought, I don't know what this feeling is, but I like that thing. Wow. I don't know what it was. Like, you know when you were too young to understand, but you were like, whatever this is, I like that. Whatever that is.

I loved what you said, except when you called her a thing. Did you feel that? No, no. Not her. The idea. I didn't know. You didn't understand what feelings are.

You go, I like this. Whatever this feeling is, I like that thing, that feeling of like you. I like you. I don't even know why that what that means. That's before, when you didn't understand girls and you were young and you were like, I like.

It was just a feeling. Well, you can't even describe. I was like, I do, and I want to, well, no, you don't know how to feel. You're like, what is it? Yeah. That's why little kids hit each other because they like each other.

They don't know how to feel. They're like, they don't know how to tell each other. I like you. Say pull a girl's hair because they're like, oh, fucking like you so much. That's your guy's crux. That's the crux. Bobby's addiction and your anger.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, he does have rage. And he's strong. Yeah, he's strong. He's strong. He's a athlete. He's an athlete. Cast me.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. What do you guys like about Latinos? Huh? I just watched El Mariahiachi. Okay. Robert Rodriguez, dude. But you didn't say you liked something. You just said you watched a film.

I loved it. El Marachi was a great movie. I thought it was better than Desperato. Nah. Compared it to another Latin movie. Well, it was his other movie. All right, Richie. Yeah, go ahead, Richie.

Oh, well, I have a reoccurring. Whoa, that's your voice. That's me. Wow, man. I have this reoccurring dream where I have a Latino wife. So I feel like I'm searching for her. What's her name? I don't know.

Make it up. Marissa. And what happens in the dream? How do you know she's Latin? Well, all right. So I wake up and I'm like in, I'm definitely in Mexico. She's yelling at me first thing in the morning. How do you know it's Mexico?

No, it's just like the architecture. Like it just feels. Yeah. You could be in Spain though too. Could be in Spain. Yeah, yeah. See how he's answering this? He's skating around.

Yeah, yeah. Careful, careful, careful, careful. Careful, careful. Okay, so you're Mexico. Could be somewhere. I'm in Mexico. I'm like waking up. My wife's like making bacon and eggs and I'm like,

like, great in the morning. And then I like walk up and like we have a little kiss. I'm like, oh, like this is awesome. Like thank you for making me breakfast. And then she's like, I'm pregnant. And I'm like, oh my God, that's so awesome. And that's how you know she's Latino. She's pregnant and you just met her.

You're racist, Richard. No, no, it's a great. This is like my wife. It's like years in the future. It's a dream. And she's making. And then you speak some Spanish to her. What do you say?

Olaa. Me ama Richie. So you introduce yourself. She knows you. She knows you. She knows you. Well, she's got brain damage. Yeah, she's brain damage.

He has to do that to make sure she remembers who he is. Okay. The idea is very funny that you were married to this woman for a very long time. She's making you bacon and eggs in the morning. And you probably have a pet chupacabra. You son of a...

Right? A little baby chupacabra. And he's... Every morning. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've never... I don't know what chupacabra sounds like, but I assume that's what the baby.

You have a pet baby chupacabra and then Rudy comes in and eats it. What about you, Carlos? Say something nice about the Latinos, if you don't mind. The Mexican hairless dog. He loves Mexican hairless dogs. One of his favorites. He talks about it all the time.

Yeah, yeah. I want one. Wow. He wants one very bad. They all have a Mohawk? Yeah. Wow. That is very cool.

I've never seen that before. Have you never seen a Mexican hair of dog? Great. And that's him. Yeah. See that. It's a match. Reverse me.

Whoa. Wow. Wow. Wow. Reverse you. Isn't that crazy? You never knew that about him? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

My God, Carlos. It's not that crazy. It is very crazy. It's crazy, right? I thought you wrote the show, dude. No, I didn't see that. Wow, Carlos. Wow.

Yeah. Wow, no wonder you have that anger, Carlos. I'm not that, dude. I'm not mad, dude. You know what's funny? They look down on you. They have hair, don't they? You know what?

You're a beautiful man. You are. You are. Listen, he's not wrong. man from the forehead down. Yeah, yeah. Keep the hat on. The top is wild. That's a lot.

That's a lot of the body. Carlos, you're holding on. You can be a good looking bald guy. Why not just do it? I've been that. It just wasn't me. When we, years ago, he used to shave it all off. And then he started to do this look again.

But by the way, women love it. Women love it. The success rate with this is through the roof. Really? Yeah, women love it. It's immediate sympathy. Is that bad what I said? I thought it was in your authentic self.

Yeah, yeah. You know what I think it is that they like about that? That it is very unique. Like there's only so many men that were willing to do that. No, and next to him they're going to look great. Can we get you a toupee? I want to have you ever had a toupee? Come on, you would do it.

Oh. I think you look good. What if we did? What if we bought him a hair, like bought him one of those hair pieces that they glue on? Like the good one? Like the real one? Oh, yeah. Yeah, Annie Letterman got me that.

She got your real one, right? What about the spray? I don't think the spray works. Yeah. Let's get a spray. That's a lot of spray. It's a whole bad. You know what would be good content, though, is if you.

You guys bought him a trip to Turkey and made him film all of it. Yeah, it's a lot of turkey. Would you take that? I would go to Turkey. And we bought you hair? And you have to film the whole thing. Yeah. Yeah, but that's a lot.

That's a lot of hair, man. That's not like a little bit. You think it's going to be too expensive. Yeah, that's the money problem. $450,000. It's like the hair line would be up here. Mine's like back here. Right.

Turn around real quick. But they still can do. My God, dude. But he has a great smile. Yeah, he has a great face. Yeah. I never see the back though. The back is wild.

Turn around in the back again? I have to, people walk behind you. Jeez. My God. That guy does creepy crime. I know. You know what really is the land for him with women.

Truly is, and I've heard this from every woman ever, that we have like mutual friends or peers or coworkers. They're all like, Carlos is such a sweet guy. Like he's so fucking nice. And McCone's not enough because he knows the truth. The guy has a way with people.

and women the way he's like disarming and sweet and genuine, that gets him, dude. Sometimes that's all they need. And also a guy that is willing to let his hair look like that. Yeah. He's very confident. He is a confident guy. Yeah, probably.

And a guy like Richie, on the other hand, too confident for no reason. For no reason. Richie, what's under the hood there? No, he's got a nice head of lettuce. Yeah. Wow. Well, now you look more like a lesbian now for some reason.

Yeah, yeah. Where did you get him? That's what he does whenever he's... I know. Were you going to Lilith Fair? What's going on? I guess Sarah McLaughlin, take it.

He works as a... He works at the other, our other studio helping out, and then he was designated to come over here when Fancy was gone. And we kind of liked him. We left him... We said, you know what? Let the kid keep coming by.

Were you an intern first over there? I was an intern. I was a PA first. God, every time he talks. I don't talk. It's talking. Yeah, I know. It's chocolate.

Whoa. But you're not a Quinnipeiac kid. I am. Oh, you are. That was the first time I was here. Oh, really? You were? We had these guys come from college.

They come over and they did an intern thing. And can you sing? No. Can you just try? Yeah, yeah. Just give them something. Give me a song. Amazing grace.

It's a public domain song. Go ahead. No, commit to it. Stop, stop. Yeah. Sing your favorite song. Your favorite song. It's Guar, right?

What is it? I'm blanking on like every song ever right now. Anything you got. We're singing a song. This is my song. What? No. Just do Pink Pony Club.

That's what you love. You love that fucking song. Pink Pony Club. I'm just going to keep on dancing at the Pink Boney Club. Is he doing a Mexican accent? Yeah. Anybody else? Yeah.

I'm going to keep on that pink pony club. I'm trying to do Chaparone. Yeah, Chaparone. Chapal. Chaparone. Chaparone. Yeah. He can't dance.

He can't sing. I can dance. Come on. Come on. Go over here. No, get your thing up. I've come here. I've made all the white people do something in front of me.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. All right. Oh, oh. Oh. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know why he's keeping these girls around. I can't. It was so good, Rich. What's I sure are you, Rich?

12 and a half. Yeah, go back on the thing. Get away from me with that thing. Yeah, got it. Get out of here. I might sue you. Yeah, yeah. Real bad.

Marcelo. No. We want to say thank you for coming on the show. Yeah. It always happens like this. The ending, it comes out of nowhere. No, it doesn't. You know why?

You have a special, right? Because we want to talk about the real shit. Oh, okay. Your special's coming out. Yeah. January 7th. Yeah. It's called American Boy.

American Boy. And the irony of that, That's what it's for. Yeah. I know, I know, we step out on our toes. I've seen some of it. Not the special, but I've seen some foot. The stand-up.

Yeah, yeah, looks great. Thank you, man. Right. We're proud of you. Oh, man. Yeah. He needed that, by the way. Us to say that.

I do. I look up to you guys. You got me through the bandy. I know we do. God bless. You're on the rise. Congratulations. He's at the top.

At the top. It's only down from here. It's only down from here. But if, God forbid, you ever go back down? Right. Right. We'll be here. Well, you can't come back here if you do go down, but we'll be, we'll be around. We'll be around. We will say hi.

We'll say hello. Yeah, yeah, at a club or whatever. Everybody please watch American Boy. So it's out right now. Yeah, check it up now. Please go watch. Whatever you're doing right now, watch it now. Thank you for being a bad friend.