Bad Friends - Rudy & the Cat Vomit Drama

Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey guys, we have a patreon is the best thing we ever had in the world. Patreon, maybe in here a lot of fans are like, Oh, what to do with the Patreon, why they doing that? Listen, this is why we're giving you access to the episode that's ad free on Friday instead of Monday when it comes out. Everybody else, you're still gonna get the episode when it normally comes out. Stop freaking out. We're just giving people an opportunity to get the episode without the ads,

Starting point is 00:00:19 ad free, and bonus content behind the scene stuff. So, if you want more content, more stuff from the bad friends, you can still get all the other stuff for free, just like normal. But if you want more, go to patreon.com slash bad friends, patreon.com slash bad friends. Hey guys, juicy, Jesse Jetski ski mask, Johnson here. And I just wanted to let you know that on August 25th, if you're in Austin, Texas, I'm headlining the sunset strip.

Starting point is 00:00:44 Would love to see you there. I'm also going to be in Sp in Austin, Texas, I'm headlining the sunset strip. We'd love to see you there. I'm also gonna be in Spokane, Washington and Arizona this year. All my dates are on Jetski Johnson.com. Bye-bye. You two are bad friends. You are these two idiots. Woo-hoo. My date and Asian date. You two are disgusting.

Starting point is 00:01:00 Woo-hoo. Are you two or something? We're bad friends. Ladies and gentlemen, so stupid guess who's back And she's cockroachy hey listen that let me say something to you. Okay, when I pay you money when I go out of town Okay, and you see you're gonna get cleaning supplies, right and you get no clean supplies. Do I get some of my money back? I'm gonna buy it to you know, you're gonna hold weekend to do it, right? Because when it came, there's vomit all over my house.

Starting point is 00:01:28 Cat vomit all over the house. You're lying. I sort of got it. I went yesterday and I cleaned all of it. Oh, so in the last 12 hours, cat vomit city. Yeah. They had a cat rave. Bum rave.

Starting point is 00:01:39 Yeah. Zinc, Zinc, Zinc. Yeah, I'm gonna fuck it out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, cuz I went. That's insane. I went last night and I cleaned the whole house really? Yeah, because there's fucking cat litter all over the house as well What do you mean? What do you mean?

Starting point is 00:01:56 And you go is this a skateboard and I go to the time machine. It's a skateboard obviously you lost your mind You got it to eat therapy. You need to get some rest too much school for you. Is that a skateboard? What cleaning supplies were you supposed to get at the house? So No, no in Philippine in Philippine soap soap is one And Philippine, and Philippine soap soap is one soap. Soap soap. Yeah, what soap? What do you know what soap soap and soap on?

Starting point is 00:02:26 Soap soap and soap on. Let me ask you something, you're questioning a white man. What soap is? Soap soap. Soap soap. Oh my God. Soap soap. Not soap.

Starting point is 00:02:35 Let me guess. Oh, it's bat soap. No, it's lobster, bisque and French onion. No. Soap. Right in one bowl. Two part one. It's not food.

Starting point is 00:02:44 It's like, it's like an action So, so oh, I know what it is It's when you stab somebody with a machete no One so it's an action so, so, so, so So, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, I know I know what's going down on So it's a thick dick loose vagina Some yeah, yeah, it's an echo. Yeah, there's an echo there. It's eating ass Because somebody goes oh What is it? We got to find it on our own we got to find it

Starting point is 00:03:42 Well, she said an action and it's close to sex. It's close to sex. So in the Philippines, soap soap means... Oh, when you suck tits. Oh, when you suck tits. No, no. Suck, suck, suck, suck. Sucking.

Starting point is 00:03:58 Sucking is sucking. Sucking is sucking. I'm close. Go, you do it. You already guessed it. Sucking. Sucking tits. Sap soap. No, it's soap really sucking tits. Sucking it's just sucking. Soap soap. Why is it twice? I don't know.

Starting point is 00:04:12 What does it have to be sexual? Could it be like I always use it. Chicken fingers. Like if I'm eating chicken fingers, I use soap soap. You're not sucking chicken fingers. You don't suck chicken fingers. How do you eat chicken fingers? You suck the juices from the fucking bone. What? Yeah. First of all, you're talking about chicken wings. Chicken fingers are boneless. You're getting bone-filled chicken strips.

Starting point is 00:04:35 I requested. I'm gonna put the bone back in. When you get chicken fingers, you want bone-in chicken fingers. And they, they don't like it. There it is. They roll the rise. Yeah, they roll the rise. And I got to tell you something, Patreon fans.

Starting point is 00:04:50 So happy that you joined. Yeah. You know, let's climb this road together. Let's get unlimited unfiltered content like this. We're going to spit on Rudy on three. One, two, three. Anyway, so, so, so, so. Good, are you happy to be back here, Rudy Jules?

Starting point is 00:05:06 Yeah. You better be. What, how about you come by the way, speaking of returning, I texted Doc the other night. Oh, wow. Well, he texted me, actually. Oh, great. He saw something on Instagram, maybe.

Starting point is 00:05:18 About the aliens? No, it was funny, it wasn't alien based, but I thought it was. No, he texted me something that we posted on the gram or something. Bad? No, no, no. You gotta be positive with that. No, no, it was good, it wasn't alien based, but I thought it was. No, he texted me something that we posted on the gram or something. Bad? No, no, no. He had to be positive with that.

Starting point is 00:05:28 No, no, no, it was good. It was good. I promise it was good. But I'll show you exactly what it was. Doc, our old friend Doc, who's busy, busy man, he said, oh yeah, it was a picture of the I'm Bobby Mom tattoo that went around the internet. You've seen this?

Starting point is 00:05:42 Yeah, I've seen it. The guy got it. Yeah. And he loved it and he said, I've seen it. The guy got it. Yeah. And he loved it. And he said, I've been, I've been great, fam. Working at Amazon till 2 p.m. And this was late at night, I think. Uh-huh.

Starting point is 00:05:51 And I said, your hustling heart. He said, I'll see you soon, fam. Love you. Got to go talk to you. And that was it. And then I said, Doc, miss you. And he wrote, nah, fam. He said nah?

Starting point is 00:06:00 No, he didn't say that. Oh. But we do miss our little doc. I know, but why did you just say that? I mean, you, you, you, you, you, mean, you admit it seemed like there was going to be some way to get him back into the team. I just wanted to tickle you a little bit. I wanted to do this.

Starting point is 00:06:11 It's like, don't get my mouth water, right? I'm trying. All right. I'm trying. Because you know what the one would do if I see him? What? Sup, sup. Sup.

Starting point is 00:06:19 I'm going to sup, sup, all day long, dude. I'm happy that you're back, Rudy. You're, you've graduated in life. How old do you now? 21 she's been with the same guy but now for over a year gross, right? So she's a monogamous, but you're not living with them. No, there's no chance they're monogamous. He's 21 year old kids They're little rabbits. They're fucking everything they talk to are you sleeping outside the relationship? No She's not sleeping. Oh, soaps.

Starting point is 00:06:46 Soaps, soaps, soaps. Yeah, other guys. How school going though? Is it good though the relationship with him is good? Yeah. What's his name again? Joey? Joey, yeah.

Starting point is 00:06:55 It's called Joey. Joey, yeah. How does Joey go? Joey's good. He's a pharmacist? Pharmacy tech. Okay. Ooh, can he get us some pills?

Starting point is 00:07:04 Yeah. Yeah. We're not being serious, Kenny. is Kenny cuz I actually need muscle relax I need oxycon my back is bad again no and can we get fentanyl oxycon and muscle relax I love it that you ask for real drugs I'm like can I get adville three how hard is it though if you work at a pharmacy show as a tech easy I don't think so I He hates it. Why? Because of the people like customer service.

Starting point is 00:07:28 Oh, well, yeah. Have you been in line at a CVS late at night? Oh my God. I'll leave. It's literally thriller. Yeah. They're just old. I'm here for my medication.

Starting point is 00:07:38 Their teeth are falling out. Yeah. Dude, it's the scare. Being in line at Walgreens or CVS late at night waiting for a prescription, it makes me feel like I'm in Carlos's dreams. You know what I mean? Can I just say something elitist? Please.

Starting point is 00:07:50 You know I sometimes say elitist things. Never. It's like I hate it when they quam over. You see this in a pharmacy line always. Yeah. About a dollar or two. Well, this coupon and my insurance, $2, you know, you charged me $2 extra. They sure did, yeah.

Starting point is 00:08:05 Yeah. Yeah, but don't you just go, ah, fuck it. If it's a dollar. Yeah, what's the, when would you complain? How much money? $2. Really? No, be real.

Starting point is 00:08:15 Well, I tell you this. Yeah, okay, I had a prescription change. And this was insane. It went from like a dollar a pill to $485 a pill. Now, when everything adds up, it went from like a dollar a pill to 485 a pill. Now, when everything adds up, that's a shit load of money. Oh, I see. So that's what it is.

Starting point is 00:08:32 It's not like the whole thing is a dollar more. It's per pill, it's like per medication. That's when it gets insane. But when I'm asking you, if you're buying a car, for instance, and the car is like 80,000, I know you would never get it. That's is like 80,000 I know you would never get that's a little price. I know you would Okay, 40,000 40 grand right I'm buying a And then you know you you know you do it through your account and you have an accountant right business manager

Starting point is 00:08:58 A business manager right and then you see later down the road your receipt right and they charge you 40,000 later down the road your receipt right and they charged you 40,685. What was the extra 685? You have no it doesn't say. What is it? It doesn't say it's a ghost. You're my business manager. What is it? Well, um, Mr. Santino, um, just call me, Andrew, I've known you for 12 years.

Starting point is 00:09:17 Well, I am, because I am bezel front me, so I have to go to the center. You stole 685 dollars. No, it's a ghost. It's ghost money. Oh, so it does it. It's an old term, you know what? Interrogate count. There's a money term.

Starting point is 00:09:31 It's a money term. It's called ghost money. I get it. I'm out of bounds. Yeah, you're out of bounds. And so there's sometimes, you know what I mean? Money, right? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:09:39 That is invisible to you. Right. But visible to my bank account. You understand? I can't see it, but you do. I my bank account. You have a step. I can't see it, but you do. I see it definitely. This makes a lot of sense. What's no longer there?

Starting point is 00:09:50 Oh, so it's yours. Why would Thailand? Yeah, I would. Yeah, some women's. Okay. But my point, though, be, yeah, but would you be mad at for that much? $685. $685.

Starting point is 00:10:02 I'd want to know where it went. And if it was, if it was ghost money, what would happen? I'd have a little bit of a dispute. I would be upset. If you told me, if you told me this, and it became something else. Yeah. Yeah, I gotta be mad.

Starting point is 00:10:16 Well, it's tax purposes. Oh, it's for tax. Yeah, there's like tire tax. Well, I haven't paid tax. No, in the car. Oh, oh, when you buy a car, you probably, you pay for the rubber the rubber, the tire tax, right? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:10:28 And there's transmission tax. I've never heard of this before. It's new. Let me Google it right now. I'm going to Google it. Hold on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Look at that.

Starting point is 00:10:36 Yeah. Joe Biden implements tire tax and transmission. Transmission taxes. Well, transmission tax because you know what he's all about. I know. Well, let me tell you something about stolen money. What I just watched something on the history channel here We go about the most corrupt dictator of all time in the Philippines You know about this piece of shit. You know about for nan marcos. I know about the dirt day no do it the dirt days

Starting point is 00:10:58 Different was worse that dirty boom boom no mark. No mark. No mark. Do it. Boom boom's worse than the dirty For not boom boom no no for the man mark, for the day that I'm not. No, no, for the day that Marcos, for the day that Marcos. Who's Bung Bung? Bung Bung is his son. That's his care. All right, all right. Bung Bung is his son. Bing Bung is his brother.

Starting point is 00:11:12 Is there a soup soup? The soup soup. Is there a soup soup? Yeah, there's gotta be. This fucking guy, this guy was a genius, by the way. This piece of shit, him and his family, they, I mean, terrible people. While people in Philippines in the 80s were living in abject poverty this fucking scumbag literally stole hundreds of millions of

Starting point is 00:11:30 dollars they think maybe billions from the people the philippino people uh-huh that he stole from japanese hidden gold bars in the caves of the philippines during the war and this motherfucker who is that lady? That's his wife. Is that boom boom? That's it, that looks like a boom boom. That's beam beam. That's beam beam. Yeah, that's beam beam.

Starting point is 00:11:51 A beep is in the coffin. That's a beam beam. Oh, he died? That's Bob. That's Bim and Bob. No, the guy that we're talking about died. Yeah, he's dead. Oh, okay.

Starting point is 00:12:00 Yeah, they're dead. Are you upset about it? No, she's happy. They were evil, right? They were bad. You weren't even around. But I watched this whole thing. This fucking upset about it? No, she's happy. Oh, they were evil right there were bad You weren't even around but I watched this whole thing this fucking genius this evil genius his brother or uncle Was the judge that allowed crews to start digging to hunt for this missing gold Genius and he was like oh there's all these guys that are digging for fucking gold He's like perfect when they find it will either kill them or imprison them and then we'll just take it all

Starting point is 00:12:23 So they did every time someone went down there like oh he imprison them and then we'll just take it all. So they did. Every time someone went down there, they're like, oh, he went missing and then they would just steal all of it. Look at this. Look at these gold bars that they would find. And he's caved. Well, okay, so that was. Here's what you do.

Starting point is 00:12:34 Yeah, what? You know what to do. What? You, first of all, if I was one of the guys. We would want though. No, I'm not boom boom right here, though. You're just one of the guys that's. You're a little philippine.

Starting point is 00:12:44 I'm a hunter. You're a hunter. I'm a lamb herder. No, I'm not boom boom. I'm here. You're just one guy that's you're a little philippine. I'm a hunter. You're a hunter. I'm a lamb herder. Yeah, at best. I don't need lamb singular. You don't have more than one. I know, but I'm that's what I do for a living.

Starting point is 00:12:54 Yeah, lamb. I'm a lamb herder. I look at the fucking philippino express, which is their local newspaper. Correct. And I go, you know, I mean, go bar hunter wanted. You're signing up. Well, I would false name. What would your name be?

Starting point is 00:13:07 Jackson Jackson. Well, they go boom boom, you know what I mean, it's not gonna go jack the jack the jack. I get it, shoot, shoot, Jackson Jackson. It all sounds. Sounds Jackson Jackson, right? And then I probably do something with my face. What?

Starting point is 00:13:19 I put this to put mud on it or what I'm gonna do. No, no, no. What? Not a disease. I don't think you can mud up your face over there You can't do like brown or face. That's not brown face. That's that's mud face mud face Mud face is the brown face because there let me say something you're the money from the Philippines is lighter Why do you need mud? I'm gonna change the way I look. I'm Jackson Jackson now. The lighter mud is that why is that?

Starting point is 00:13:47 What? What? What? I don't know. Let's see it. That. Right, lighter mud. Not that. That's too dark. So let me tell you something. Well, let me just say. You think you're gonna get employed to go hunt for gold? What skills do you offer? Here, listen, I am the guy. This is my confidant and I, right? Okay, I'm chip chip.

Starting point is 00:14:06 Yeah, yeah. And that's chop chop. Yeah, yeah. And we're looking for gold hunters. So tell us your call for. I'm on my guard. What do you call for? Our viewers, I come in.

Starting point is 00:14:14 Ask him what his qualifications are. Hello, do it in Sybonese or whatever the fuck? Oh, Jackson Jackson. It's my lamb. It was good, me. I brought my lamb. That can't be in here. What? No, my lamb. Jackson Jackson My lamb I brought my lamb that can't be in here What nobody take that outside? Hold on put what I'm Jackson's actually I'm her

Starting point is 00:14:32 Huh I'm a lamb harder. I love one lab. He's hurting He's hurting lamb That's what I do for leaping and that's why I want to have this job because I think the money's okay All right, so hold on let my constituent talk Sup sup leap. Oh you sucked a lamb You dirty fucking pig. I'm getting I'd be like are you supposed to lamb? I'm getting a cute up something that I did no no to you. Oh you did it. Okay. It sounds like a city for a job for some you accused me of sucking my lamb you said it to the lamb

Starting point is 00:15:06 I heard you should flip the lamb that in name. Oh you called them Oh, what the fuck what the fuck Get the fuck out Let them leave, let them leave, let them leave. No. What do you got it? Puck, puck, puck, puck, puck, puck. All right. He got the, he got the worst coat, well, off. Go ahead. Go, go.

Starting point is 00:15:34 We'll work on it on this off. What's going on? Jackson, Jackson. Yes. Are you Chinese? No. Are you, are you mine? Are you, why are you Chinese?

Starting point is 00:15:44 Why do you sell Chinese? What, why are you, you gotta get me? Are you mine? Why do you feel Chinese? Why do you look at me? Are you Filipino? I am Filipino. I'm real Filipino. Who's your mom? Who's your mom? Who's your mom? What?

Starting point is 00:15:54 Who's your mom? Meng Meng Dupri. You know Meng Meng Dupri? I do. Is she no mom Meng Dupri? I know her. Yeah. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:16:03 She does one sheep. She lives in the tree. She lives in the tree. I want to have. She lives Yeah, she do one sheep. She lives in the tree. She lives in the tree. I wanna have, she lives in the tree with one sheep. Mummungu pre who lives in the tree? Yeah, anyway. This is a child song about me. Okay.

Starting point is 00:16:12 And by the way, she don't suck on the sheep. By the way, I know you're gonna use of my mama while sucking on sheep. I already suck on lamb, okay? So fuck you. Okay. Hey, hey, fuck you. You're trying to get a job. Oh, sorry. it's a fuck you. Okay. Hey, hey, fuck you. You're trying to get a job.

Starting point is 00:16:25 Oh, sorry. Slow down. Go ahead. Okay. Ma'am, go ahead. There it is. Nice. Go ahead.

Starting point is 00:16:35 Okay. Can I call you a juke-juk? Uh-oh. Let me ask you something. Wait, you want to change my name for Jackson's after the joke joke? Why? So I can hire you and I can remember your name. You can't memorize Jackson, Jackson.

Starting point is 00:16:53 Holy shit. Don't question her. You were holding it. By the way, I want to go because there's another girl hunting. No, no. There's another girl hunting. Did I wear earlier? And they accept my name.

Starting point is 00:17:04 No, stay. Okay. Okay. Okay. There's another cool thing that I went earlier and they accept my name No! Stay! Okay, okay. Jok Jok? Yes? You're hired. Wow. Wow. That fast.

Starting point is 00:17:13 No skill nothing. No. I'm blind. You know I'm blind, right? That's why I have to fucking lamb. He's my, you know, seeing lamb, I... Zocked out. Oh my god, dude.

Starting point is 00:17:23 It's like, you know, sometimes I go and I want to buy food and review the restaurants or whatever, right? Now, I always thought to myself, why don't they do that with doctors? Well, guess what? What? Zock-Dock did that. Oh my God.

Starting point is 00:17:34 You know, it's nice to have a doctor that actually listens to you and makes you feel super comfortable. And you can't get that all the time with Zock-Dock. You can, baby. All right, after weeks of searching, you can find the one on ZockDock. Wipe your tears, put away the ice cream, and hover to ZockDock to find and book the doctor

Starting point is 00:17:51 who's right for you and take your insurance. You know that feeling you get when you finally get the thing you've been searching for on the internet, right? After spending hours researching and reading thousands of reviews, you find it this thing, whatever it is, all right, whatever you're looking for, like I was looking for a new dog toy, and boom, I got it! It checked all the boxes, it has five stars,

Starting point is 00:18:11 it's perfect, and it arrives in 48 hours? Well guess what, that's what it's like to use Zockdock. It's a place to find a book, great doctors, who actually have amazing reviews, many with appointments available within 24 hours. Yeah. I mean, let me tell you something. I have hemorrhoids right now.

Starting point is 00:18:26 Oh. Not gonna lie. Oh. Hurts. I had to use Zock Doc because I'm like, I gotta get this taken care of soon. The cream ain't working. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:18:34 Zock Doc is a free app where you can find amazing doctors and book appointments online and I did just that to help me get my Roids taken care of. Guys, it's just a free app and And it's the easiest thing to do. And we're talking about booking appointments with thousands of top rated patient review doctors and specialists. Yeah, you can filter specifically for ones who take your insurance that are located near you and treat almost any condition you're searching for.

Starting point is 00:18:57 So you know what? Go to zack.com slash bad friends and download the zack.com app for free. Then find and book a top rated doctor today. That's zoc.oc.com slash bad friends all dot dot com slash that's you see d.o.c dot com slash bad friends that dot dot com slash bad friends displayed oh my god got what we do in your that's not listen

Starting point is 00:19:17 that's not that sounds like elder ring coming my way all my this is a game I'm playing right now elder ring and now they have a poster look at this. This plate has posters. And when I was a kid, there was an Elden Ring. That thing would have been shredded up in my room, right? That's right. It would have been torn up.

Starting point is 00:19:31 This is a forever. The edges would have been more, but listen to this thing. Displated is one of a kind, medal poster designed to capture your unique passions. They created a 21st century canvas that's sturdy, magnet mounted, and durable enough to withstand a lifetime of a tense staring. One million designs, including Star Wars,

Starting point is 00:19:46 Alden Ring, Marvel, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, and many more. Each artwork is surely conveyed to your doorstep within four to five days. It's incredible. This stuff, I gotta tell you something. When I was in high school and college, and I would get posters of bands that I love and stuff like that,

Starting point is 00:20:00 I'd put them up on my wall, they would tear, they would rip, they would get sun bleached, they'd get ruined, and then I'd put holes in the wall, my dad was like, what are you doing? Idiot! Now, Daddy can't yell at me no more. Introducing displays, ingenious magnet mounting system, an unequivocal testament to the harmonious allegation of convenience and security, liberating you from the cumbersome task of wall drilling. This remarkable solution, both unparalleledeled simplicity requiring mere 20 seconds to accomplish. It's that easy

Starting point is 00:20:29 That's pretty impressive because Bobby gave all that he had on that I gotta tell you he nailed it We're gonna provide you with a higher discount because Bobby killed it all right use the link in the description I'm all gamation go to displate.com slash bad friends and use that code bad friends at the checkout to get 23% off for one to two displays or 34% off for three or more displays. It's displayed.com slash bad friends code is bad friends. Display collect your passions. Seeing I let you know see I see that lamb eye.

Starting point is 00:20:59 See them. That's what I just said. Right. It's bad for you. Sorry. You're right. I apologize. Anyway, I get that. I don't know how to speak Your right sir. I apologize Anyway, I get so what I was glasses are fogging up again. Yeah, yeah, so what I would do is Let's kind of get out of Jackson Jackson or no, no, oh, what's that?

Starting point is 00:21:17 Stay stay stay stay stay stay stay Jackson Jackson baby, I don't want to say Jackson Jackson. All right, so anyway. What would you really do? Check it out. Check it out. Well, here's what I would do. So I would go and learn a lot of these people, right? Because I knew there would be murdering going on.

Starting point is 00:21:35 Of course. Yeah. Because Tonya, Tonya, my cousin. She got killed. Yeah, Fredic, Fredic. Fredic, Fredic, Fredic. Fredic, Fredic got killed. It all got killed.

Starting point is 00:21:43 What? Yeah, and my, you know, my mom in the sheet in the tree You my mom in the tree. Yeah, yeah, you told me yeah Oh, no, you're murdered with you find the gold. That's why she's in the tree. They can't get her up So you know what I was so I'll look up at the tree and go mom check mama me me Jackson Jack and check it out, right? And I'm gonna lift up my leg like this, right? And then she's gonna, what happened to your leg? It's gone.

Starting point is 00:22:10 Right? And I go prosthetic. And she's like, ah. So I'll find, when I find the gold, I find one bar. I just stuff it in your leg. I stuff it in the leg. Yep. And then I walk out of the

Starting point is 00:22:26 whatever the fucking, you know, me the cave or whatever. So you only want one bar. I'm blind. I can't see no cold. Where's your sheep? What? Where's the sheep? Check it out, dude. Look at his leg. Look at his leg, dude. Prostatic. Yeah. There's gotta be small bar a little baby bars ago. Yeah, yeah, she played a little one, maybe and he's just like He's he's Well, you know what the guy the guards will see it. They'll go he walked funny They'll see the sheep They don't like they don't like sheep shaming shaming there You read the cold there's no sheep shaming. There's There's no sheepshaming read the culture right in the Philippines

Starting point is 00:23:06 What about you? They'll say you're walking funny. They'll go why you're like oh Excuse me look I would take the fucking prosthetic out you show them the goals. No the the goals in the They're gonna look inside sure they will Filipino fucking cave guards Tave guards. What do you think they're doing? They're not TSA bro. You think I'm getting my fucking leg my fucking prosthetic leg from America. I made it Well, that is definitely not gonna work. It is you better get it from China. I already do my thinking is this dude Yeah, they are gonna look in it. Yeah, they're gonna look right in it right. So you do an optical illusion obviously mirrors All right girls girls obviously you

Starting point is 00:23:46 You were up like a squirrel Yeah, you stare at a squirrel in the center of the thing right Yeah, they look away What are you talking about magic guy you put a magic guy in there One of those sorely swirled there yeah, and they're gonna be like oh, what going on? I've been seeing so boring I think you got this all figured out. I know dude. We should go on a time machine. I know dude. Don't you have a time machine right there? Yeah Good, yeah, you go jump on that bull. Yeah

Starting point is 00:24:21 I think there's gold in the Philippines. You know this right in the caves really? I think there's gold in the Philippines. You know this, right in the caves. Really? I don't know. Well, here's gold. We gotta go. Genuinely, I'm not lying out. We gotta go, genuine.

Starting point is 00:24:29 What do they call the lily maps? Look up lily maps, Philippines. I think it's called, oh yeah, yeah, Yamashita was gold. Yamashita's gold. This is insane. Oh, look at that. I would love to go. Look at that first guy.

Starting point is 00:24:39 General Yamashita was convicted of war crimes this guy, right? God, what a piece of shit, dude. Look at him. He, well, wait a God, what a piece of shit, dude, look at him. He, well, wait a minute, wait a minute. Garbage human. He got convicted of war crimes during the Truman era that typically takes years to get. They convicted this guy boom, overnight.

Starting point is 00:24:55 Yeah. You know why? Why? To get to the fucking gold. We were all trying to get to the fucking gold. Everybody was like, every country was goonies. We were all trying to get to the fucking gold. And basically go up, Yamashita, what is this? General Yamashita. Yeah. We don't ride to it. Yamashita. Oh, that's right. General Yamashita.

Starting point is 00:25:14 That's a retable Yuki. Yeah, that's his first name. But generally Yamashita, the wild shit about this fucking guy was they put him on trial and they convicted him on the day of the anniversary of Pearl Harbor. Obviously not a coincidence. Yeah. And when he was on trial, they have video footage and it's crazy to see his face because he's almost like smiling when they're like reading off the list of crimes. Yeah. He didn't do any of them.

Starting point is 00:25:36 His soldiers carried out a bunch of crimes. Yeah, but when you tell your, hey, no, he didn't. That's the thing is like, he didn't say anything. He didn't instruct them to do the things that they're convicted of. Like what? I mean, it was like torture and all this shit. His, his like troops, were none of the people that did all the war crimes.

Starting point is 00:25:52 But they were like, we gotta get this guy. He's the plug. He knew where the gold was. He was like a woke guy. Yep. Right, so you would see his guys torturing. If you look at a picture, and you would go, no torture.

Starting point is 00:26:03 No, no, no, stop, stop, all right. No red. Look at a picture of him. He has an LGBTQ pin on in there. Oh, no. Yes. Look at him. Right there. That's a LGBTQ flag right there. There is right on his chest. Whoa, dude. He's so woke. Look at his collar. Look at what it says. Yeah, ACAB all cops are bad. Yeah, and he's got a BLM shirt that he wears underneath that. I'm telling you dude. This guy this this was like the first... Oh, so when a Japanese soldier went to a Filipino guy, right, or whatever, I'm cause, hey, what are you doing there? Or, you know what I mean? Who are you? Or where did he go? He goes, they. They, not he, they.

Starting point is 00:26:38 He directed people. He knew. He was ahead of his time. But apparently this guy's, this guy's homies told everybody where the gold was And and they convicted this guy and they're still gold in the caves today. We gotta find it. Let's go And you're a guy you know look what cave Lily maps look up Lily maps is what it's called I know, but you know what region no, I don't know

Starting point is 00:27:02 Well, then you got a fucking Google it dude We got to get to this fucking gold dude. I want it so bad But maybe boom boom mark was already knows and like yeah, that's a thing You know, but they say the maps are still out there to find I want to find a treasure map so bad And but what if they're saying they still out there But they already have it and they want to they want to see us out there and they laugh about it That's funny. That's a great tourist trap. Right. That's funny That's like who could them sweating on like like that's like people taking tours on Hollywood Boulevard

Starting point is 00:27:33 That's their Hollywood Boulevard tours. That's their star. What's that down there? What's that photo? Let me see well That's a map. Oh, sorry. McCone by the way. I learned show him what what town he's from look at this the town He's from a baggy. Fagley'sville. Fagley's is that really him what town he's from. Look at this, the town he's from. Faggy? Fagley'sville. Fagley's, is that really your town? He's from Fagley'sville. Do you not know that? No.

Starting point is 00:27:51 What is it underneath that though? Fagley's pencil thing, not Minnesota. You're lying. I was talking to Joe to roast on the phone today. He literally is by, he's like, he's maybe going to move back to near where he's from in Pennsylvania. And I'm scrolling through the map on Pennsylvania. I come across Fagli'sville.

Starting point is 00:28:06 Why not change this at some point? Why would you leave Fagli'sville as your town? Oh, like Fagli town? Yeah, Fagli city. A Fagli city. A Fagli area. Yeah, yeah, that's good. Fagli'sville?

Starting point is 00:28:17 Yeah. I want to know more about Fagli'sville. Why? You're obsessed with Fagli'sville. What if I go? What if I lose? I can use what a safe family all the time. What's your problem with Faggles, Bill?

Starting point is 00:28:26 The way you're saying it. Are you bigoted against faggles, Bill? No, I'm not. What do you have against the citizens and I of faggles, Bill? I'm not, I don't have like, guess the people. I just have the way you're saying it. You go, this is how you say, faggly. I said, faggles, Bill.

Starting point is 00:28:41 You go, faggles, Bill, get fag in the closet. Faggles, Bill. No, dude. Sit right. Faggles, Billagley'sville. You called it. Fagley'sville, get back in the closet. Fagley'sville. No, dude. Sit right. Fagley'sville. That's better. That's how you say it. It's not great. Welcome to Fagley'sville.

Starting point is 00:28:52 Yeah. In colonial times, a great quantity of pig iron from Walwick furthest was old over what became Fagley'sville road. Wait, I need to read this. Read it, read it. But sit in the accent. In the gay accent. No, it's a fancy. Gay and fancy.

Starting point is 00:29:10 Incloning the time. A great quantity of pig iron from warwick furnace to hold over what became fagglesville road to the large, maverick forge at Green Lane, where the iron was refined and forming a bar iron and nail rod Blacksmiths could use by the way. They loved all those terms, but I know how about this nail black put it put an adjective before blacksmith I think it's written wrong. Go ahead. Oh to start with Forge at Green Lane go ahead forge at green lane where the iron was refined and formed into bar iron and nail ra that

Starting point is 00:29:49 blacksmith's could use forest. I didn't think it was going to be that. You got to be that open, keep it in. Oh, keep it open, keep it in. Beep it, keeping it. Oh, God. Keep it up. Keep it. Beep it. Beep it. Fagli's will take his name from the descendants of Hans Heinrich Gokili of Swiss descent and born in 1680. Farting. We're gonna find him. We got to put Hans George Fagli.

Starting point is 00:30:13 We got to find him. That's the guy. That's the guy we have to fucking Google. We got to find him. What does he look like? Well, he's dead. He was born in 1730. There's got to be a photo of Hans George Fagli. Well, get me a picture of that.

Starting point is 00:30:24 Frank of a photo of this to get me a picture of that. A picture of this bag. Yeah. Oh, it's Vogue Lee. Vogue Lee. Vogue Lee. Go back to Google, Hawn's tour's Fagger. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:30:35 There's nobody. No, there's. There's got to be a guy. Where is a photo of this guy? Yeah. There we go. Zoom in. Zoom in.

Starting point is 00:30:44 He looks like a white supremacist. He was from Germany. The world council of churches. Wow, there he is. Look at him. What is he saying there, Bob? Zoom in. What?

Starting point is 00:30:56 What is he saying in that meeting? I love pussy. That is what he says. You're right, Faxley. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love it. In the middle of the meeting. Yeah. Be honest with right, Faxley. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love it. In the middle of the meeting. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:31:05 Be honest with us, Faxley. I'm a real bad man. What's been going on with you, Rude? Tell me what the deal is in life. I wanna know. Wait, I have a question for us before. Here we go. Here we go.

Starting point is 00:31:17 You know this always goes. Okay. Who is that behind you? Cool. Oh, who, that little guy? Yeah. The AI created that. Look at this, this is me if I lived in India

Starting point is 00:31:29 and that's Bobby if he lived in India. That literally, a fan gave it to us, I created it from AI. That is exactly what he looks like if he was in India and said, it's me. That's me. You want us to do one of-

Starting point is 00:31:39 Bollywood star. You want us to do one of you? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And say what happens? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And say what the fuck it happens? Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're gonna get one. Well, I can't, she's not famous enough You want you want us to do one of you Yeah, we're gonna get one well, I can't she's not famous enough to we'd have to get a picture for the AI to run through like no No, we'll find that figure it out. All right, let's do it. Okay, you got a lot of nerve talking about him Yeah, yeah talking shit, and you know that's me

Starting point is 00:32:03 What do you been doing before what I asked you before you asked a question? What's been going on in life? Okay? I went to the strip club and I discovered that I'm lesbian whoa That's so stupid. Did you tell your boyfriend your last thing ever? Did you tell your boyfriend your lesbian? I don't know not a lesbian. Okay, bye. You're not pie That could let me ask you some questions. Oh, conservative dad. Yeah, man. You seem your alarm like my daughter. I raise you. Right. So when you look at a vagina, I'm like, what? Amaze by it. And like, I just want to go inside. It's a bed of yours. Whoa. You love it.

Starting point is 00:32:42 You love it. Yeah, because like in the strip club. I could see everything But yeah, well first of all was it was it full nude? Cuz there was no booze No in California if it's full nude. It's no alcohol in Hawaii. Oh Hawaii. There's no white. There's no rules. When will you know why? When you were there Three three weeks ago you were there. Three weeks ago, you were there. I wasn't there. You were there.

Starting point is 00:33:09 Yeah, you were there. You didn't go to the strip club, but you were there. I didn't go to the strip club. Was that the strip club? Yeah. No, I wasn't. You weren't. Yeah, thank you.

Starting point is 00:33:17 Wait a minute. Was I at the strip club? How does this game work? Was I there? No. No. I was not there. You were. No, I don't do that shit.

Starting point is 00:33:25 So tell me, you go to the strip club. You don't have a lot of money. So did somebody give you money? Kali-la. I think Kali-la. And I think Kali-la gave you how much? Like this much? What? You don't know how much this is.

Starting point is 00:33:35 Yeah. It's just stack of ones. So you walk in, there's no door fee, right? You sit down, do you get a lap dance? How do you do a strip club? How does a 21 year old girl do a strip club? I just kept yelling. Like when they were dancing?

Starting point is 00:33:50 No, it's pushing! Not like that. Give me something I'm dancing. Okay, okay, go. Whoa! Are you getting stabbed? I'm not backing up. Let me bring you to backing up. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:34:05 Let me bring you to the stage. Yeah, yeah. Ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen, come into the stage. Ling me. Whoa, let's go! Let's go! Whoa!

Starting point is 00:34:22 We put a rope inside the room for Mingling, not a pole. Get. Get. Get. Get. Get. Get. Get. We put a rope inside the room for Mingling, not a pole. Get. Get. Get. Get. Get.

Starting point is 00:34:33 Bird dogs. You guys, I was at a lake. You had a beautiful little lake. I would have been patient. My mom was there. Yeah. My mom was at the lake. She's like, why don't you wear your bird dogs?

Starting point is 00:34:42 Yeah. So I went to the pool, right? And I wore my bird dogs. And I got stairs from all the locals. And all the looks were like, what's going on? What do you wear? Yeah, I got, I'd never mind. It's none of your business, pal. Yeah, but my point is,

Starting point is 00:34:52 you know what, you stop and you say, it is your business. They're burdogs, maybe they make you look good. They got these stretch shorts, by the way. Show them the inside of that. It comes with the inner lining that I love so much. It's so comfy and snug on all your parts, all right? Burdogs, they got this anti-stink sweat wicking fabric that keeps you cool and dry

Starting point is 00:35:10 and smell and fine all day long. Anyway, this, you know, this is a very comfortable item. Look, they're the same thing as little lemon, but they fit way better. These things are way better. They fit better than regular shorts that are made of stiff, restricting cotton. Bird dogs fix this as you buy inventing

Starting point is 00:35:24 these cloud knit fabric that looks just like khaki and they make it so smooth and cool. You can wear them to the beach to the lake at your house at the office at the gym. I usually don't wear shorts but these I love. See I love. I love the bird dogs dot com slash bad friends or an inter promo code bad friends for a free yeti style tumbler with a little-style Tumblr with order, man. That's birddogs.com slash bad friends or promo code bad friends for a free Yeti-style Tumblr. I love the way you say Yeti. You won't want to take your birddogs off. We promise you.

Starting point is 00:35:53 Beastbook post. Oh my God, this is my favorite because Beastbook post is responsible for the box of awesome. And the box of awesome is the best gift. You can give anyone on planet earth. My box of awesome is filled with carefully chosen gear from the best small brands around the world.

Starting point is 00:36:09 Of all the packages I get dropped off at my door hands down the best box I open every month is my box of awesome from Be Spoke Post. My box of awesome is filled with carefully chosen gear from the best small brands around the world. Let's see what we got this month. What you got? What you got? By the way, this is the second box.

Starting point is 00:36:21 I have another box of box of awesome that I just got from my house because they sent me brand new whiskey tumblers. But this time, I got some Hawkins and Brimble Facial Scrub, which is incredible, which I need, because my face is ugly as you tell me. You say I've got an ugly face, so this is maybe gonna clean my face up.

Starting point is 00:36:35 That's okay. And then I've also got Hawkins and Brimble, daily energizing moisturizer. This is for nighttime before I go to bed. I gotta tell you something great about these. This is great for yourself or for somebody else. But box of awesome through BeesSpoke post. They have so many cool ingredients that are made from local businesses. So this, each box is valued at over $70.

Starting point is 00:36:53 You're going to pay a fraction of that price. Come on, man. All that good stuff. To get started, how do they do it? Oh, you got to do to get started. Yeah. You go to boxofawesome.com. You're going to take a little quiz, right? And the answers are going to help you help them pick the right a box of awesome. For you or for somebody else, it's a great gift or it's great for yourself. Each buck is valued at a row.

Starting point is 00:37:10 For your own $70, Andrew. Yeah, it's expensive. But you only pay a fraction of that price. Come on, man. Because with each box of awesome, you're supporting small businesses. 90% of everything comes in the box of awesome is from a small up and coming brand.

Starting point is 00:37:20 It's right, it's free to sign up and you can skip them out there at cancel at any time. So get 20% off your first monthly box when you sign up at boxofawesome.com and enter the code bad friends at checkout. That's box of awesome.com code bad friends for 20% off your first box box of awesome.com code bad friends Bring out those tips ladies So wait a minute you would just yell were you also throwing dollars when you making it rain? Yeah, so you spent all your money Mm-hmm.

Starting point is 00:37:45 And did you get a lap dance? She put her boobs in my face. They do that, yeah. Whoa. That's one of their things. Insane. That's a move. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:37:54 She jiggled it. Yeah, you get a little milkshake. Yeah, you know what I was like, I wasn't like. What kind of milkshake was a vanilla or chocolate? Chocolate. Chocolate milkshake. Yeah. Much better, aren't they?

Starting point is 00:38:03 Yeah, that's a big one. I went to one, so when me and? Yeah. Yeah, they're the best. So when me and Collar broke up, I went to one. I went to a rage. I went to a rage strip club. When it was at it, what does it mean? Just with money. You're a rage.

Starting point is 00:38:13 You're a responsible vibe. Yeah, yeah. Just an array. Yeah. You know what I mean? Just old timey money. Right? Like the monopoly man.

Starting point is 00:38:21 Yeah, and it was like a disturbing, a human experience. Why? I went to the seventh veil. Here, and it was like a disturbing, a human experience. Why? I went to the seventh veil. Oh, here? Why'd you make that face? Why would you go to that place as gross? I have a pen, I haven't been to them. Dude, when I drive past it, I go like this.

Starting point is 00:38:34 I know. It freaks me out. Yeah. It looks so sad. It's inside of a motel. Yeah, I know. What the fuck are you doing? And when you walk in with wads of cats, old timey,

Starting point is 00:38:44 oh my god, they're like, did they get rabid? They're like,ads of cats old time me. Oh my god. They're like Did they get rabbit? They're like put in your teeth girls. He's here. So anyway, I went I don't want to talk about this girl. I don't want to break her heart. Well, you shouldn't Just talk about the exp you don't talk about someone specific. Okay, but somebody. Hello. We'll just by the way a urego Maybe talk about it really it's a long time. She probably is not there Yeah, and she was um oh Yeah, I can't I can't oh please Bob. Yeah, she's not there anymore probably. It's what she did. I can't talk She wasn't attractive really that much, but she was a huge fan.

Starting point is 00:39:27 You know what I mean? You know, sometimes they're up there and they go, love bad friends, you know what I mean? Pretty rare. And already in your head you were thinking, well, maybe that's the one. Even though you're not attracted to them. Right, right.

Starting point is 00:39:38 Because maybe the little bit do extra, whatever. Right. And then she violently played with my penis. Hard? Violently. Over the jeans? No, like, no, it was out. You pulled it out?

Starting point is 00:39:51 No, she did. She just pulled out your penis. I was only sweatpants. I'm just started yanking out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I thought you couldn't do that. Oh, not something failed my friend. Unfortunately.

Starting point is 00:40:01 You can't do that. You can't do that. Yeah, unfortunately they can't. That's insane. It was say I've had it offered I was in San Francisco. Does that ever happen to you? I was in San Francisco with my buddy Yeah, and we went to a real real dicey joint in Chinatown and the girl was I don't know 75 Maybe pounds no late. She's age maybe 75. I think the young ones were 60 I think those are the young ones. Right.

Starting point is 00:40:25 But this woman was an older experience woman and literally was like, booth? And I was like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. That's like the VIP, you know, no, no, no, she goes, booth, like this, booth. Oh, oh, spit. Well, spit, that's probably more money. Spitzer, yeah.

Starting point is 00:40:42 So because someone just don't do the spit. Yeah, dry jig, a booth. Yeah. And some people poop. Yeah, so because someone just don't do the spit. Yeah, dry chicken. Yeah, and some people. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well for me, both. Offer me the first one. All right. Huh?

Starting point is 00:40:51 Booth. Oh, no, no, thank you. I'm okay. They do this, though. Yeah, they finger up. Hold on. I can't put any of this in here. Wait, why?

Starting point is 00:41:00 Oh, we'll get banned. Fuck me. Oh my god. So you have to explain it again without the bad news. Maybe you should take out the thumbnail, need you to drink it off. Maybe. Yeah, I take that off.

Starting point is 00:41:08 Yeah. But you let's get away from it. Let's get away from the, yeah, from, from Pornos stuff. Yeah, yeah. Pornos stuff is bad stuff. They don't like it on the YouTube. It's just the motion. The motion they,

Starting point is 00:41:16 jerking off motion. Yeah. For some reason. So weird. Okay, let's go back to this. Let's go back to this. Let's go back to this. And you're lesbian.

Starting point is 00:41:24 Sure, and Hawaii. You're now a, but you're not a lesbian, you're bisexual, first of all, because you're still with your boyfriend. Yeah, but you still, you haven't hooked up with a girl yet, so I don't, I'm not, I'm not really. I'm not really so done as. I know, but there's like a feeling.

Starting point is 00:41:35 What is it? Like I want to try. Yeah, I have a feeling when I watch lower the rings. What is it? I want to slay a, slay a control. But in real life, I wouldn't. No, I... Is that a metaphor for sucker Cantron?

Starting point is 00:41:48 Is that what you're really trying to say? I want to slay him? Yeah, yeah. I want to swoop a Cantron? Yeah. Yeah, I mean, it's just like a feeling still doesn't... You have to act on it, I think.

Starting point is 00:41:59 No, no, but what she's saying is, look. Let me... Let's say you and I go to... I think she's just trying to be... You know what I mean? Cool. Time out, Dad. Yeah, that's what you're trying to do. Alright, I'm trying to be hip and young and slow down. I fucking bullshed dad. Let me tell you some Fox News. Your head are all Fox news. Uh, look at it like this. You and I go to Thunder Down

Starting point is 00:42:18 Under the Mail Strip Club. Yeah. Would you get a feeling there? No. Okay. So she, the my point is, oh oh what kind of feeling I didn't know what the feeling we already know to Bob. He's by he was he's done now What I so regret you even coming here What the fuck do you mean we already know we know we know nobody know we confirmed it confirm it with nothing well Maybe as it has been confirmed in your mind. Yeah. So you think I'm bisexual?

Starting point is 00:42:49 I think so. You think so? I even asked if they call I love. Oh really? Here we go. What did she say? She said, yeah. Yeah, I'm bisexual.

Starting point is 00:42:58 Yeah. Insane. Go ahead. Well, this will maybe prove her point. If we went to Thun and Ununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununun point. If we went to Thun and Ununner and saw a male strip club, male strippers, what would you feel? I would spit on the floor. This is blasphemy and I would leave. Would you dance in the spit for a little while?

Starting point is 00:43:14 You would, you'd rub your little butt in the spit. Well, I spit on my dick, I swear. I put that in. Can I put that in? Yeah. God. Let me tell you something. You do have feelings for guys when they're kids.

Starting point is 00:43:24 Oh, it's so ridiculous. You do. What, you do have feelings for guys when they're kids. Oh, it's so ridiculous. What are we even doing here right now? What are we even doing here right now? You don't like boys a little bit? No, you're the one that keeps talking about Mr. Fagley. First of all, he was gay, he was a great pioneer. He was a pioneer.

Starting point is 00:43:38 I never said I wasn't by him. I'm not the one that came up with this guy right here, right? Yeah. Before we even came to the fucking podcast, what do we talk about today, right? And then Fagley is the first thing guy right here, right? Yeah. Before we even came to the fucking podcast, what do we talk about today? Right? And then, Fagley is the first thing that came here, right? We did this whole history about the city

Starting point is 00:43:51 and this and that. Who's bisexual, friend? I never said I wasn't. But are, no, be real, are you? Bisexual. I don't know yet. Let me either. Why haven't I been there with you?

Starting point is 00:44:03 Sure. Could I be in that little space with you? I haven't taken the test. I haven't taken the test either. Well, let's take it. No, I don't want yet like me either why haven't I be there with it? Sure, can I be in that little space with I haven't I don't know yet either I haven't taken the test I haven't taken the test either. Well, let's take it. No, I don't want to think the test Carlos give us the test You're gonna go the test and you know I lied I Lie all the time. Well, you think I fuck until the truth I'm doctor lying. Everything I do is a lie. You're not you never got your doctorate. No, no That's not true.

Starting point is 00:44:25 You don't have a PhD. Yeah. Not the A-M I guess. Let's take the quiz. Let's take the quiz again. Let's take it for you. Fine. Yeah, because he never took the test.

Starting point is 00:44:33 Never gonna work. Yeah. What do you mean work? You're not gonna get me quiz. Well, I never took the gay one. I only took the biome. Have you had feelings for a same gender close friend? Yeah, of course you.

Starting point is 00:44:42 I feel it. I love you. Yeah. I think so. Yeah. I think so. Yeah. I think so. Next. Yeah. Have you ever kissed someone and wanted to kiss someone of the same gender? You have. I have. You have kissed me. Yeah. You have kissed me. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Definitely. It was great. Well, it says definitely I haven't done it, but I want to try. Yeah. And I'm not sure I felt about it. Yeah. I'm not sure. Okay. But go with three. I'll give you three. Yeah. That's fine. How do you feel about queer characters and TV shows and movies? Oh my god

Starting point is 00:45:08 I think that the only people that should be in film. I've totally watched shows with just queer ships and storylines Yeah, yeah, yeah, please Yeah, when someone asks you who you're crushing on I make up a name or I pick someone random Yeah, that's that's it number two. I make up a name and I pick someone random there Yeah, as anyone ever. Number two, I make up a name and I pick someone random. There we go. Has anyone ever asked you if you were gay? I've asked you every day for the last six years. Okay, so just to people pretty much assume about that about me all the time.

Starting point is 00:45:36 When you imagine being in a relationship, what do you picture? I can, you know, I'm not sure. I know it, but he was the one. I can only see myself with one of the same sex. I'll probably be with, I'm not sure. I know what he was the one. I can only see myself with one of the same sex. I'll probably be with someone of the opposite sex. I think Thor would be the thing. I can only see myself with someone of the opposite. Yeah, there you go.

Starting point is 00:45:53 Yeah, the forum. Yeah, that's true. Okay. How do you feel about it and find it's being gay? I'm not sure how I feel about that. Yeah, yeah. You know, I'm not sure I feel. Have you ever felt attracted to someone of the same gender?

Starting point is 00:46:02 Yeah, but everybody has, right? Yeah, yeah. How do you feel about dating someone of the opposite gender? Yeah, but everybody has, right? Yeah. How do you feel about dating someone of the opposite gender? I don't know what you would. Maybe, no, I don't know what I'd be going for. Opposite gender, I definitely, yeah, the last fourth, yeah, I definitely do it. I would do it.

Starting point is 00:46:16 Do you ever fantasize being someone of the same gender? Oh, no, I would say no. No, that's a no. That's a no. Yeah. Would you imagine kissing or being intimate with a future partner? How do you feel? Good, I guess. Yeah, good.

Starting point is 00:46:27 Yeah, good. You said I guess. If you scroll through your feet or FYP, your for you page, do you see content from queer creators? Yeah. You got me. Yeah, but only because I've looked at one or two related posts. Uh huh.

Starting point is 00:46:40 Uh huh. Flash forward five years. How like is your partner is the same gender as you? Oh, not very likely. Not very likely. Not very likely. Not very likely. Would you become really using LBGBQ dating app?

Starting point is 00:46:50 Oh, no. No, there's no way. Not really, but I wouldn't rule it out completely. Really? You never know what happens. Oh, okay. Okay. Good relationship ends.

Starting point is 00:46:57 You never know. The LGBTQ individuals in your friend group. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. What inspired you to take this quiz? How long is this quiz? Oh, there's a whole absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. What inspired you to take this quiz? How long is this quiz?

Starting point is 00:47:05 Oh, there's a whole more. What inspired you? Um, uh, just, uh, I just curious about the result I'll get. Number three. Yeah. Oh, let's see. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:47:14 Drum roll. What does it say? What do my results mean? You may experience, what, right there? You may experience a small amount of attracting to people the same gender. Small amount. Small amounts. So I'm by.

Starting point is 00:47:26 Is that what it says or no? Yeah. Okay. Well, the internet said it. Sadly, I'm not by. Sorry, you're alone on the side. Yeah, me either. Sadly. I thought you said you're not me either. Oh, come on, dude. I don't like guys. So if you break up with, um, what's this? Is that a Ricky? What's this? Joe, Joey. Joey. If you break up with What's this gonna Ricky? What's this? Joey Joey if you break up with Joey you're going for girls

Starting point is 00:47:49 You you could see yourself being in a relationship with a girl I might be because I have this classmate in my bio class. Oh She's like really pretty and everything what's everything mean? She has big tits what big t? She has big tits. What? Big tits. Big butt, big tits. Yeah. How big the butt?

Starting point is 00:48:08 How big the butt? How big the butt? No. I don't know. She'll us with your hands. Yeah. So this and then see that. What's this?

Starting point is 00:48:16 Her back. Her back. The body and then like that. Her body's something like straight up and down like that. There's a spine. She has good posture. Sideway. Oh, sideway. and down like that. There's a spine. She has good posture posture, all like that good posture. Oh, it's got like so you would say she was thin, but I had a bubbly butt Bumble butt, bubble bubble bubble butt. Yeah, and she has big boobs and she smart and she has a nice smile. Yeah And then just make up a name for her

Starting point is 00:48:41 Risa. Oh, yeah, right. all right. So I'm Risa. You're single now. No, I can't. No, no, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm Risa. You're single now. But she's not gay. I can't tell.

Starting point is 00:48:54 How do you know? That's fucking blasphemy, what you just said. Because she has a boyfriend. So do you. Yeah, cut to school. Cut to school. She just broke up with her boyfriend. You broke up with fucking Joseph, right?

Starting point is 00:49:03 And I'm going. Now I'm like writing. I'm like writing I'm writing an essay Writing a mess I don't know how to do it. Well, you're never gonna be able to get this done in real life You can't look here. Um excuse me while you sit standing there. We're friends. Oh, hi Jules hi What, Riza. Hi. What's up?

Starting point is 00:49:28 I'm doing my essay. Um, I was wondering if you wanted to hang out later. Hang out. What does that mean? Like go to the movies. Oh, as friends? Yeah. That's the wrong move. What do you say? I'll do it. Oh, as friends. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:49:45 That's the wrong move. What do you say? I'll do it. I'll be you. Ready? Yeah, go ahead. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do Later. Well, first of all, let me finish. I'm doing the etymology of the word anthropology. Whoa. You are smart. Yeah, I'm doing the essay about the etymology

Starting point is 00:50:09 of the word anthropology. So you're not just big boobs and big tits. You also got big brains. Excuse me, I'm half Brazilian. Oh, I can tell. That's why it sticks out like that. Yeah. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:50:18 So anyway, what's up? Do you have a boyfriend? Do you have a boyfriend? Well, you know, we just broke up. Oh my god. I just broke up with my boyfriend? Well, you know, we just broke up. Oh my God. I just broke up with my boyfriend. Why was it about to tell you what happened? And you're sitting here with me anyway.

Starting point is 00:50:31 What's up? I just broke up with my boyfriend. Oh, I'm sorry. What happened with yours? Oh, God, he died. He died. Oh, he's dead. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:50:39 Oh my God. It's so fucking sad. Why don't I say this this morning? This morning. A really? This might be too soon. That's okay I don't know to say this to you, but I was wondering if maybe I could eat your pussy and then this is why would it You know what that is what is that all the pen?

Starting point is 00:51:00 Now you don't notice I was riding with a pen. Mm-hmm. And I was down here like this Ryan No, you didn't notice I was riding with a pad. Mm-hmm. And I was down here like this Ryan Look you should ask her out on a date you have to cut that out. No, okay, you got to ask her out on a date You got to ask her out. Maybe not that way Like that. Let me ask you somebody. Do people do their essays at the desk? I don't know. I don't know. essays. I don't know what essays. You do essays later. Also people have computers. Computers. Oh, that's where I went wrong. Yeah. All right. You haven't been in high school in 30 years. Yeah. So things have changed. So that's better. Can you believe that you have been in high school in 30 years?

Starting point is 00:51:42 I would do a class since 30 years? Palomar College, so. I did go to a junior college for like a semester. Okay, but you were in high school 30 years ago. That's insane. I don't know what, yeah. You graduated in 90. I wrote, yeah, 1990, right?

Starting point is 00:52:02 Yeah, so here's what I remember. I remember Bunsen burners Do these still have those yeah ask her I'm not fucking I'm gonna burn nurse right I remember this guy what is that was a guy The skeleton oh Jesus no there's a skeleton and signs you just still have those skeletons. Yeah, well They don't go there. They're just skeletons like this. They don't do it now. They didn't prop their arms up. I put the arms up like that.

Starting point is 00:52:26 I got trouble for that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then there's like little like things on the skeleton bones. Yeah, like little needle points. No, not just needle points. It was like, you know, A5 and then you could look at a chart. Oh, yeah.

Starting point is 00:52:37 That's a femur bone. Yeah, I remember that. Oh, whatever, I remember that. Yeah, that's that. I also remember, um, that's it. You remember nothing else from high school? No, I remember one time this girl named Heather. Oh my god, made me so fucking mad.

Starting point is 00:52:50 So I just got on my for rehab. Third time. And I don't know my history teacher because I was gone for like a month. So the history teacher goes, um, and we want to welcome Mr. Lee back. He just went to a rehabilitation center and he's now sober. She wanted like people to applaud in this school Heather got why do you have to do drugs anyway? Because of you Heather. That's why exactly because of you people like you Heather you fucking asshole

Starting point is 00:53:16 And I remember her break I was like she liked you What she had a crush on him? That's what it is 100% Oh girl had a crush on me that pulled some shit out me suspended. We had in health class. Yeah. They had diagrams of penises of the inside of a penis.

Starting point is 00:53:32 Like you did a little bit late it. Tell me what it looks like. Kind of like her. Viator! Viator's the best. You know what? We go on vacations. Yeah, we do.

Starting point is 00:53:41 We go on ventures. I'm about to. And sometimes when you go to Hawaii or Alaska or right, you don't know what to do. And you gotta go to Viator because Viator has over 300,000 bookable travel experiences in over 190 countries. They offer everything from simple tours to extreme adventures. By the way, if you want to do a little hike or you want to go into volcano, you want to go into helicopter,

Starting point is 00:53:59 they got that and all the niche interesting stuff in between. Viator is the place to go to book memorable, travel experiences. I am going on a little trip, Bobby used Viator and bought me something, which is very sweet. Maybe we'll show it to you guys. It was incredible, and I'm very appreciative

Starting point is 00:54:14 because Viator has so much to choose from. And you fly. You fly. Viator is a website and app where you can book travel experiences. That's what it is. And they offer so many things, simple tours to extreme adventures.

Starting point is 00:54:25 If you're like Laura Croft, and you want to go into extreme, but you want to do something simple, you have simple ones too. You can do John Wick type of stuff, or you can just do Bobby and Andrew type of stuff. When you book a travel experience with Viator, there's always flexibility in support with free cancellation, payment options, and 24, seven service.

Starting point is 00:54:42 What else do you need to know if you're going on vacation and you want something to do, go to Viator. Download the Viator app now and use code Viator 10 for 10% off your first booking. One app, over 300,000 experiences, you'll remember, do more with Viator. If you filet a penis and they showed you the diagram, and so I was tracing the cock.

Starting point is 00:55:03 So I was just tracing cock on on loose leaf paper. Yeah. Because why not? And then I was just a sign it and then handed to my friends and class. That was your merch back then. Yeah. Five bucks. You know what I mean? Yeah. I was slinging cock. Yeah. Yeah. So I would I signed one one of my Drew and I drew something with the teacher's name in it. Why would you put her name on it? I think you're put her name in like a puddle of jizz or something underneath it. That's hilarious. Yeah, it was high school. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:55:27 And I threw it away. Yeah. And then this fucking snitch from my class, fucking bitch. Dug it out of the trash. Oh my, she should. Oh, wait. And gave it to the teacher and then I got fucking suspended after the fact for how long? A week.

Starting point is 00:55:38 And then what did your parents say? My dad was like, you know, do you have a future in the arts? Are you looking at me? My parents were so fucking mad. I got suspended so many times. So many times. I got suspended one time. I brought a BB gun to school.

Starting point is 00:55:52 I got suspended for that. But I was shooting people at the bus stop. So that was a big deal. This is back before school shootings. I was just shooting people and I would shoot people out of the bus as it was moving. But it was BBs. It wasn't going to kill me.

Starting point is 00:56:03 I loved so many schools with the BB gun. I loved BB guns. I loved it. And I shoot them all the time. Then I got suspended for opening up the back door, the bus as it was moving but it was BBs it wasn't gonna kill me I love so many scrolls with the BB gun I love BB guns and I shoot them all the time right in the fuck then I got suspended for opening up the back door the bus and us jumping out why did you do that? we just wanted to jump out of it while it was right I thought that was funny then I got suspended I brought an IED to school you did a non-functioning though oh it was over well I was springing to my other friend

Starting point is 00:56:21 dude yeah dude Bobby what's in your bag? Yeah. Why do you have to do drugs anyway? Yeah. No, but I, um, yeah, I was kicked out of school all the time. I just got suspended so many times. Yeah. That's a funny thing.

Starting point is 00:56:35 I used to sell weed and I never got caught for that. Wow. But I got caught for everything else. Yeah. Dumb shit. If you're young, listen to this podcast in high school. Yeah. Generally probably a male.

Starting point is 00:56:44 High school kids? Yeah. Probably going to this podcast in high school. Generally, probably a male. High school kids? Yeah, probably a gay. It's a guy. Yeah, yeah. And I've noticed that with our podcast. Well, we get a lot of chicks, but they're not in high school. Yeah, and they're also like a little funny-eyed. I mean, every girl that listen to show a lazy-eyed.

Starting point is 00:56:57 No, they're beautiful. Yeah, right, but they're some good looking fans. But there's something wrong. Right. There's a deep, go deep. Look at us. I know. Yeah, look at their leader. Yeah, their leaders are deep. Look at us. I know. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:57:05 Look at their leader. Yeah, their leaders are something fucked up. You too. You too. You too, though, more. Probably me. You too the most. Yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:57:13 But anyway, um, yes, so my point is is that what was I even so don't follow us? Are you saying don't do what we do? No, no, no, in high school. If you're just no, because back then we would behave like that. And what would the counselors and teachers say? He has no future. Yeah, they used to say if you could focus your energy energy You'd actually be successful in life. Yeah, you're not gonna be successful

Starting point is 00:57:31 Because you can't focus your energy. Yeah, yeah, and they always looked at us like all you have no future You're screwed, right? Yeah, and then look at us now my point though if you're young Like the thing on fire light it on fire. Yeah, yeah break it steel. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, bring you on to school Doodle penises. Yeah, you might as well doodle the dick. Well crazy a little bit. It doesn't matter I ended up hooking up with that girl years later. No release that. Yeah, and did you cover her? Bing bang bang bang Against the headboard. Yeah, no, I do we hooked up years later how weird was that it was like this strange just It was like what's that sex? Yeah how weird was that it was like this strangest It was like

Starting point is 00:58:05 Yeah, it was like weird revenge. You guys have talked about it. I don't know I've never seen her and that was no Do you have you talk about her opening the thing up and doing that? Yeah, yeah We talked at one point we talked about that why she tried to and then what she said? I had a crush on you and I I like like you and I said the weirdest way to fucking girls are fucking weird dude girls Do weird shit when guys are also weird Yeah, you're weirder than us, so because we're when we have a crush on you We're literally like I like you. No, no, no Someone kept bullying me in high school. Yeah, and then American or Philippine okay, and then a year later

Starting point is 00:58:39 He's told me I like you. Well, that's but that's the Filipino way. Yeah, in America. We don't do that Yeah, yeah, yeah, what do you mean he bullied you physically push you? Well, that's, but that's the Filipino way. Yeah, in America, we don't do that. We don't do that. Oh, what do you mean he bullied you? Physically push you? No, he kept saying what? You're dark. You're ugly. Oh, yeah.

Starting point is 00:58:53 Here's the thing what you Filipino. Not alive and told you guys, you guys don't like the dark skin. Yeah, you're so racist. You get so racist. You get shamed for dark skin. Yeah. It's insane. What do you mean that happens in all over Asia.

Starting point is 00:59:05 I don't like it. Like, what did you pan? I know. They're all white. The wider the wider they feel like it's more slippery. Yeah. These, these bigots do it too. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:59:13 The Spanish do that. They look down on the fucking Mexicans. That's why I came to the US. To do what? To the country that doesn't do that. Huh? A country that doesn't do that. That respect everybody.

Starting point is 00:59:23 Yes, right. But you go back to Spain like you just did You know he loves yet talking shit He's gross to these guys Spanish. Oh another one. Yeah light skinned Yeah, elitist. Yeah Mexico city my dad's not light your dad's from Mexico City, right? Yeah, my mom is to But she's white because she's like fancy your mom's that white. She's Mexican. Yeah She okay, but she's like, okay Honestly, when her and I were chatting I know me to at some point I was gonna fucking me to her dad and he was like penetration I guess now is in your mind though. I was trying to get in your mind though

Starting point is 00:59:57 penetration Tell me to leave so you can say it. We'll say it here. We'll say I don't go fuck. Yeah, I think you should stand around She's hot. Yeah, she actually is sexy. Yeah, I think you just stand around. She's hot. Yeah, she's sexy. She actually is sexy. Yeah, she's pretty sexy. Well, I've been in an Uber alone with your mom. That's interesting.

Starting point is 01:00:11 Interesting. Interesting, interesting, interesting. Very interesting. That's very interesting. So you went to pick up my mom at her house, right? Yeah, she was waiting outside for me. Wait a minute. What was she wearing?

Starting point is 01:00:21 Do you remember? I mean, she was going out that night. so it was like a beautiful dress, I believe. He remembers. Yeah. Ew, he knows. What color lipstick did you have? I have red. Red?

Starting point is 01:00:32 What kind of shoes? Do you remember what kind of shoes she had on? Like rubbery, like, abolita type shoes. Like grandma shoes? Yeah. Yeah. What's grandma in Korean? Harmony.

Starting point is 01:00:42 Harmony? Harmony. Yeah. Harmony. Yeah. It sounds like you're trying to say harmony in Korean. How many? Harmony? Harmony. Harmony. Yeah. It sounds like you're trying to say harmony in Korean. No, harmony. So it's harmony, but they just can't say. No, it's not harmony. Harmony. Harmony. How many? Just one gram of it. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. How many? Yeah, just one. Oh, one? Yeah, yeah. No, so she was cool. We I think we You open this door, do you find my mom to be funny? Yeah, she was cool. She's so funny. Yeah, and she says weird things Yeah, like she kept trying to tell the Uber driver how to go like it's in the freeway, but it was like really obvious giving him directions Yeah, he had directions, can she still drive? Yeah, she's getting close though, isn't she close to what not driving anymore?

Starting point is 01:01:26 Oh, I thought she was getting her NASCAR to history You imagine and in lane 10 I'm Bobby's mom Yeah, no, she's she's fine anyway was so um She was hot when she was younger though. That's what people said. Oh really? In her 20s? Who said that? His fucking sister? No, have you seen, I have a photo of her. Of his mom.

Starting point is 01:01:50 Of my mom. Oh, you're like spragging about his mom being hot. In her 20s, like all the kids from my school were like, oh, your mom was hot in her 20s. Did she, how different did she look then? I mean, I have a photo of my phone. Can I, I want to see. All right.

Starting point is 01:02:04 Can we show the fans? Yeah. So would you, you to fuck your mom in her 20s? No, fuck you dude. What are you talking about? The way you said it, she was hot in her 20s. Nobody says she's hot. Now people thought she was like cute or whatever.

Starting point is 01:02:17 Did your friends say that? They were like, yeah, yeah, yeah. I hope your mom was cute when she was in her 20s. She was a neighborhood babe. She was a babe, she was, she was a Abraham Lincoln was a neighborhood babe. She was a babe. She was a, she was a Abraham Lincoln. It's almost here I got it. Well that's my dead dad.

Starting point is 01:02:29 Okay. I tell photos of my dead dad on my phone. Is that insane? Not mean, you know, not really. Wow, there she is right there. Where? Yeah. Damn, she is hot.

Starting point is 01:02:46 Yeah, she was hot, kind of cute, you know, man. Why did you get any of that stuff? Yeah? How come you didn't get that stuff? Okay, enough about me. I think here's me as a baby. I've never heard Bobby say enough about me. Me as a baby Now that looks like your dad. That's the problem, is that you look exactly like your dad. Like your dad's flat, don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't. How does your dad look right now? Let me see. What does your dad look like now?

Starting point is 01:03:14 Well this is, I don't, this is a stunning photo. I've never had the blur this out. Let me see. And my brother took this. I don't know what the fuck is going on there. Is this his dick out? Is he pissing? He's peeing in a toilet. I have no idea what's going on there. Is this his dick out? Is he pissing? He's peeing in a toilet.

Starting point is 01:03:26 I have no idea what's going on here. Oh, that's so lovely. We have now a bad advice. Welcome to the bad advice. Hello, bad friend. I am going to be going to the bad advice. He's fancy. Great.

Starting point is 01:03:37 We got fancy calling. Yeah, yeah. I'm here to see you guys. Here it is. Some advice. I just basically figured out that my biological mom is actually my cousin. I put basically what happened was my cousin donated an egg to my mom and then my mom burst me. But my cousin is actually my biological mom and I was wondering if you have any

Starting point is 01:04:05 My son that well, the good news. I think you could fuck your mom now Go for it buddy, right? I mean honestly Your cousin yeah, but his mom still carried him But does that affect it it does him. But does that affect it? It does. It won't wait. Well, I'm saying, you know, you could, he could. You okay? How about that? You could. Okay. Don't fuck your cousin, though. That's your mom. So that's what they say. Yeah, that's what you say. Yeah. Yeah. That's interesting. And he just found that out. To me, if she carried him, I wouldn't want to know that information whatsoever. I don't think so either. I wouldn't want to. Well,

Starting point is 01:04:44 I'm also not going to fuck any of my family members. So I don't want to know that information whatsoever. I don't think so either I wouldn't want well I'm also not gonna fuck any of my family members So I don't need to be like don't fuck your cousin. That could be your mom. Yeah, that's never been a problem Well, you know I watched that show long last family. Yeah, are there a lot of cousin fuckers on that show? No, but there's a lot of like, you know one girl. This is an interesting one This is not even that funny, but I have to tell you anyway. Please. There was a girl that was like when she was 19 She got her fight with her mom and she found out that her dad wasn't her dad. Yeah, I mean that happens constantly right So then she like got some you know genetic genetic testing at 23 and me and all that stuff right and She couldn't find her real biological dad she had

Starting point is 01:05:18 Her mom basically said one night in the 60s. I was at a pizza joint And there was a guy that worked at the pizza joint. Fuck the guy in the pizza joint. Yeah, and then that's your dad, right? That's awesome. It's awesome, right? Yeah. So through the show, that's why your name's Pepperoni.

Starting point is 01:05:31 So through the show, this is cool, right? So what she does for a living, right, is she has like, she rescues animals. Okay. Right, that's what she does for the first time. Right, that's cool. So now she's in her 40s and she contacted, so they find the guy. No, the pizza guy, he's still working there. No, he is in charge of the organ,

Starting point is 01:05:55 like animal conservation. Animal lovers. Right. So she goes to see her dad and they do the same thing. Yeah, they do the same exact one. That's cutie pie shit. Yeah, yeah. That is cutie pie shit. Yeah, yeah. That is cutie pie shit.

Starting point is 01:06:05 Yeah, that's what that shows about. It's cool when you see that. Like it's like, it was in the blood. It was in the DNA. Right, that's, that's nature, not nurture. Yeah. I love this. Next, let's move on.

Starting point is 01:06:15 We have so much stuff planned for you guys on the Patreon. So you sign up at Patreon. Patreon.com slash bad friends. That's right. Patreon.com slash bad friends. Sign up right. Patreon.com slash bad friends. Sign up with us today. What is this? All right.

Starting point is 01:06:29 I think it's you. You know. I don't like that part. He's kicking him. Why does he kick him? I'm trying to do it. But that, right, who would win him or Brad Williams? I think him, he's a black belt.

Starting point is 01:06:50 That's true. But would you, how would you, I would give anything to see that fight? 100%. No, that's something. Be honest, be truly honest. Yeah. Me versus that guy.

Starting point is 01:06:58 Him, black belt. Dude, I would fuck that guy up. I would just, I would just beat him just by submission. Fuck him up. I'd be by the rules What is the rule you can't jump over him? I gotta stay in front of my I don't know what I got you gotta stand for it. I have to be on my knees. You survived in your knees. No, dude Yeah, no that's not what they would no shit

Starting point is 01:07:19 I gotta use my you just ask that I do like a boy tie kicked it with face. It's gotta be a fair fight Oh, that's all then then then yeah, then you're done. Yeah, wait a minute Google is have you seen the fucking swimmer who set the record with no arms? Yeah, this Asian guy do you not know about this like this cheating? This is insane. He said a fucking world record Chinese swimmer with no arms no arms He uses his head to touch the wall. You know when he's like, when he's,

Starting point is 01:07:46 instead of your arm out. Wait, wait, wait. He's known as the armless flying fish in China because of his performance. Yeah, but does he use an apparatus? No. A motor. Yeah, I mean, the sudden.

Starting point is 01:07:57 Yeah, I mean, the sudden. He just, hold on to it with his mouth. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, is he replacing his arms with anything? No, he just bobbing. Show him, show a different video of him swimming. You have to see this. And he replacing his arms with anything? No, he just bobbing. Show him, show a different video of him swimming. You have to see this. And he can beat people with arms.

Starting point is 01:08:09 He smokes them. He doesn't beat him, he smokes them. Dude, he did the fucking, not the butterfly, but Chinese no arm swimmer. Why you laughing at that? Oh, blitter rates, look at this. Butterfly, it's just a little wing. It's just a little wing.

Starting point is 01:08:24 It's all a little wing. It's just a little wing. It's all little wings. Yeah, yeah. Oh, you can do it with those nubs. No, okay, freestyle. Obviously freestyle. Yeah, it's all shoulder. Now watch this.

Starting point is 01:08:32 Yeah, go ahead. Watch what this guy fucking does. I know what it was. Okay. All right, so that's what it is. Watch how fast he swims. Okay, let's go. This is going to blow your mind.

Starting point is 01:08:40 Yeah. What if he just sticks to the bottom? I know. Okay, look. All right. Watch. Where is he? You'll be able to tell in seconds. Look at him. What if he just sticks to the bottom? I know Okay, look all right watch watch Where is he you can you'll be able to tell in seconds look at him No arms. He's so fast. Oh, so fast, dude Well, no one else is using their arms look at him. He's cruising his head Look at his head is bobbing just above the water there. He's get it

Starting point is 01:08:59 He's that one in the one in the lead. He's murdering everybody murdering him and he uses his head to hit the wall We're second kind of just say something That one in the one in the lead. He's murdering everybody. He's murdering them. And he uses his head to hit the wall. Which spots were second kind of just say something? Let me just say so and I'm not ripping on the guy. It sounds like you're gonna be. I know, but this is one competition where no one's using the arms. No, that's not true.

Starting point is 01:09:15 Some people have arms. No, no one's using that. No, they're no one's using that. Yes, they are. Go back to the beginning. This is for legs only. Look, look, look, go back to the very beginning. All right, look, see, there's a guy with arms right there.

Starting point is 01:09:24 I know, but the thick swim is no arm. It's an armless. It's freestyle. So they are you some of them are using Arms point to one guy that's using his arm. I'm not trying to be a dick, but press play ahead now watch watch that guy swim with his arms No, okay, go ahead those guys are swimming with their arms right there Arms you're right the only guys that aren't using their arms are the guys with no arms. We're all three of them have no arms. Yes! And he's beating all of them. He's especially beating the guy with arms. Can I say this is not an Olympic thing though.

Starting point is 01:09:54 There's like, hey anybody. You know how to swim. This is the Paralympics. I know it was with my life. It's the cover. You have arms? Yeah. And that's what this is. Paralympics. Oh, it's a Paraly. It's the cover. You have arms? Yeah. And that's what this is.

Starting point is 01:10:06 Paralympics. Oh, it's a Paralympics. Yes. What does that mean? Everyone has something. I don't know what the other guys have with the arms. This guy would smoke you. Maybe they don't have abdomens or something.

Starting point is 01:10:16 Of course they have to. He said, okay, it's a word on water. Look at it. There's an underwater view. Carlos, I swear to God. Carlos, I. I swear to God. Look at his head. It's just like coasting right about the water in the water though I feel like he's using his tongue You gotta use You got to use a lot of blood. You got to use everything.

Starting point is 01:10:51 You suck in water in his ass. I liked it. It's so weird. That's great for him. It's good for this guy. You got to celebrate this kind of guy. But you know when he wins. You know what you can't do high five

Starting point is 01:11:05 them. You have the number five and those are you need clothes and no, but no five. No, but baby. Hey good All right, okay dark dark so dark fun Thank you for being a bad friend. That was a fun episode. I'm gonna go to the next one.

Bad Friends - Rudy & the Cat Vomit Drama

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.