Bad Friends - Santino Hits Bobby and Rudy’s Birthday!

Episode Date: November 9, 2020

Thank you: http://bluechew.com code: badfriends & https://www.doordash.com code: badfriends & policygenius.com & http://harrys.com/badfriends Subscribe to our YouTube: http://bit.ly/BadFriendsYouTube 0:00 Masks & Moms 5:05 Happy Birthday, Rudy... Haikyu!! 12:55 Dreams of Vince Vaughn 16:25 Bobby's New Sleep Expert 30:25 Bobby and Andrew Get It All Out 48:05 The Great British Bakeoff vs Great Pottery Throwdown 1:02:05 Why We Love Antiques Roadshow 1:17:55 The Time Bobby Didn't Buy His Girlfriend First Class More Bobby Lee TigerBelly: https://www.youtube.com/tigerbelly Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bobbyleelive/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/bobbyleelive Tickets: https://bobbyleelive.com/ More Andrew Santino Whiskey Ginger: https://www.youtube.com/andrewsantinowhiskeyginger Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino/ Twitter: https://Twitter.com/cheetosantino Tickets: http://www.andrewsantino.com/ More Bad Friends iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-friends/id1496265971 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/badfriendspod/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/badfriends_pod Official Website: http://badfriendspod.com/ Opening Credits and Branding: https://www.instagram.com/joseph_faria & https://www.instagram.com/jenna_sunday Credit Sequence Music: http://bit.ly/RocomMusic // https://www.instagram.com/rocom Character Design: https://www.instagram.com/jeffreymyles Produced by George Kimmel & Bryce Hallock - 7EQUIS Podcast Producers: Jenna Sunde, Joe Faria, Andrés Rosende Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Anchor if you haven't heard about anchor It's the easiest way to make a podcast. Let me explain. Oh, please It's free. Awesome. That's cool These are there are creation tools that allow you to record and edit your podcast right from your phone or your computer You do it from your phone like on the go. Oh my god That's cool the bus or the subway you can do it. That's cool Anchor will distribute your podcast for you so it can be heard on Spotify Apple podcast and many many many many many many more You can make money from your podcast too. No minimum listenership. How about that? You can make money with no minimum listenership

It's everything you need to make a podcast all in one place. Where do we have to go Bob? Download the free anchor app or go to anchor.fm to get started Bad friends welcome back to bad. What's up? Welcome to bad bad friends. Welcome back to bad friends. What's up? How is everyone? How's everyone doing? Are you okay? Well, I had to disinfect the inside of the mask. Yeah And now it's really like chemically. We got we got sent these masks and they're giving me a full-on panic attack Yeah, yeah, well, um You know when you make the slits as slannier than my slanny slits, I think it's pretty accurate I think it's pretty dead on how they slanted them out. I think the accuracy is right on the money

I can only have half vision. I don't have half vision before but now I have my eyes. Okay. No, your eye hole isn't in the eyes I don't know what you're doing. Where's my eyes? Is this my nose? Yeah, my eyes are in the right place. Yeah, you can see me Yeah, see you fine. Oh Can you see me? I could barely I could totally see you. You can? Yeah, just look through the mouth You could out you look through the mouth if you can't see much All right, I'm taking this off. It's creeping me out. It's creeping me out so much It is it's like you're looking at you with that is grossing me and creeping me out. Oh You're just crazy

All right Thank you For the masks Yo, bad friends welcome back. Thank you so much for the masks Gianna and Keenan very cool of them and Keenan guys. It's dead on almost fear fuel masks at really nice at fear fuel masks Oh, so it's a it's a it's a company that makes masks. Yeah fear fuel masks So you could just send in your photo and they'll make masks. I hope so. I don't know they just did that for us as a gift I think they don't know how they got my fucking cheeks, right?

Just just the right amount of sugar and spice and everything nice No, I'm saying honestly how from a photo. Can you get the cheeks? Because I think that I think you have a very specific type of cheek They're Treading lightly here. Yeah, well, well, it's just very specific your type of cheek. Yeah, you're well It's your cheeks kind of they look like Bow, you know bow bow. Yeah, you know bow Yeah, bow

Yeah, it has the same kind of Perfect little plumpness to it where I know there's some liquid in there. There might be some meat Yeah, but I do know that there's liquid inside of there. Yeah, you're a little dumpling your face is dumpling cheeks pull up your mask Yeah This is my mask. Yeah. Yeah, I don't understand how they got you know what I have sugar in my hair. Yeah, you know what rat leather is Rat leather. Yes. Is it what your mom? Is it what your mom uses to make your clothes when you were a kid? No, rat leather is similar to the stankiness of your mom's vagina. Okay. I mean you started with my mom You always say you really hurt me this now. No, I didn't yeah, you did you hit my eye

You always say disgusting stuff about my mom. I know when you said rat leather. You were coming after my mom I knew it. No your skin, but then you turned into a mom fight and then all of a sudden I had to go there I'm sorry. I have to win. Okay. I'm sorry Why do we why do you you mad guys? Why do you mad guys resort to violence all the time? Because you people don't understand No, why do you why do you resort to violence? I had to throw this at you because the mom stuff. It's enough. I love your mom Bobby I do Bobby. She's my favorite Bobby You know what if I ever see your mom, you know Bobby, you know what I do Bobby. I would buy her candles Whoa, what's so fucking come on to buy your candles. Yeah, I'm waiting. Okay. Mm-hmm. I'm gonna buy her a

Bert Burke Williams, right? She doesn't go to that spa give certificate fine, but they have one in Chicago. No, I'm sure they do Yeah, I'll get her one. Okay. I'm gonna get her a $500 pass. Okay. So these are the seafood seaweed wrap, right? Steam all that stuff. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and then I'm gonna say I'm gonna send her to Um, are you gonna get violent? No, you're not gonna get violent. No, I'm gonna stay I'm gonna also have her go a day trip into the stables Horse no horseback horseback. Do you want to but you want to see your head busted open for real? Are you I'm fucking I but I'll do it because I'll do it. Okay, forget the stables the horseback riding. Okay

I didn't sleep last night. I didn't either that well. I had nightmares. Why all night long Why Vince Vaughn was in my nightmare. I love him. I'm not kidding big fan. He was chasing me He does that he was chasing me and yelling at me. Yeah All I really wanted to do was start this episode on a good foot with the masks We did and say thank you and also today. Yeah, is Rudy's birthday Happy birthday to you Happy birthday to you Happy birthday dear Rudy

Happy birthday to you Thank you. How old are you? 19. Oh Oh man, all right, so hold on. Do you I don't know do you guys make wishes in the Philippines? Yeah, okay? Do you blow out your candles and do the same thing? Yeah, Philippines. All right, so I don't know I don't know what they do over there. I don't know if they hit a squirrel for good luck I don't know. All right, so close your eyes and make a nice wish that you really really mean. Yeah, okay Okay, we're gonna look the other way because we don't want to jinx it go ahead But wait wait wait wait one second before yeah before you do yeah if you don't blow out all the candles candles in one try

I can't I can't tell you right now. The wish doesn't come through. Yeah. No George will die. Oh, don't blow them all out Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, George will well will die if you can't blow them out in one swift Then George dies and you don't get your wish. Yeah. Oh wait, what if that's her wish? Whoa All right. All right. All right, dude. That's heavy shit. So either way. I guess it's a win-win. Yeah, so ready. Okay, oh What did you wish for would you wish for? Don't tell us That ruined you can't help you ask me. Yes, but you never you never tell that's the rule

Yeah, it wasn't it wasn't the right wish, so it's fine. Oh All right, but let's okay. What was the fake wish then for anime stuff? Yeah, well Tito Andrew and Bobby. No just me I Got you a gift and Bobby here No, Bobby had Bobby had literally nothing to do with this and you know it and you know it and you know it Bobby had none to do it and you know it. Thank you. Well, who's on the cover of the package show the camp show your camera Who's on the cover rude hunter hunter hunter? You still like them, right? I sound like an uncle You still like those guys, right? If the bow is too tight we can scissors it we can just cut that. Oh, there it is

All right, so what's inside the bag? I'm excited What is it what do we got a few gifts a few gifts start off with Hunter hunter face mask Wow, that's cool. Very cool. Very cool. Very cool and Hisoka's on there, and then what is that? Are they num chucks it's funny? She never knows how to get close to the mic, but she'll hit it with all the stuff You probably guess num chucks, which is a good guess chopsticks could be even better guess Oh a scroll a scroll show the camera so they can so the hunter hunter hunter hunter It's like a I don't know what do you call that a little banner?

I figured you could hang it up right there. We could hang it up at your desk. Yeah, maybe over George's face and Then last but not least I got you to So what no you know wait so so there's two of those the red-headed one looks like me And then who's the other guy? Do you know these guys are from the volleyball show? What's it called? Thank you. Yeah, I know I knew that when I ordered it. You do. It's high cute Did you order it or did you go to Tokyo town today? I? Wanted to I want to Tokyo town today And it's unbelievable. I went to little Tokyo today, and I was me and my wife were so excited to get you

And today and the anime store was so fun Andrew Bob It is so annoying. I ordered that shit three weeks ago. Yeah online, and then you're fucking Claiming it shout out to the anime store downtown. How cool is that you know that Jules? You know that he did not go to fucking Japan town today. I think he did yeah I definitely did I went to Tokyo. I went to little Tokyo today unbelievable you and by the way I Forgot how good the food is that the like what do you get down there? What do you think? I got down there ramen sushi? Sushi and rum. Did you go to what Hamas? No Hamas good though. They were closed. Oh, Pandy The doors were closed. I was I don't understand what like half of the restaurants were open and half for an open

Yeah, really kind of broke my heart. Yeah, but anyway, so what are the names of those two guys cuz I don't I don't even know This is Kageyama Tell her to get yet. Oh and then this is he not what you just listen honestly You're 19 now. Yeah birthday, right? I Think that you know when you were 18. I thought you know, I'm not gonna really Be so hard on her. Yeah in terms of just doing simple things right like talking talking to a mic, right? Right 19 is enough. I think that's cut off. So see listen. Okay. Yeah Look at my finger. Okay, your mouth should be in this distance. Yeah, right on it. Okay, right on it

Okay, all right. Tell us who it is. Yeah, this one is Kageyama. Kageyama. He's this setter Right the ball is he your favorite. Who's your favorite this one? Oh the one that looks like me Kageyama, let me pull up with Kageyama again. Wait, there's a little stand for him It sits upright in the little thing. You don't have to do it right now, but you see how there's a plastic thing Yeah, and then so that's Kageyama. And who's the other man? He not that he not that and what is he on the team? He's the middle blocker. Oh, that's what I was. Yeah, so that's looks like me and Andrew Yeah in the show The Asian one then with the dark hair. They're all Asian the red-headed one is Asian to I've got I've got way more flavor than you know

Dude, yeah, I really I ran my I ran my 21 of me or through what it ever is 40 48 me 80 90 me 60 90 me. Yeah, guess what what 16% Irish? I'm barely Irish. I thought I was a lot 12% Nigerian 6% Korean 48% Moldovian I'm Korean dude, you're not Korean I am I'll show you the 86 and me no I'll prove it a Korean person's penis isn't translucent It's the same size as a Korean person. I know but yours is like those. It's a jellyfish. It's glow

You can see right through it some some people like it because then you can see what's going on inside of it I don't need to know. I don't need to be in science class when I suck your dick You mean I want all that stuff she'd yeah, you want a sheath. Yeah, I got it so hot so happy birthday rude Thank you. Did you enjoy it? Yes. Yes. Well, I'm happy that you like I actually You know what I said to the to the girl there. What this is actually annoying. I asked the guy said, hey, I'm looking I said for my niece I said I'm looking for my niece for a gift. She loves hunter hunter and and then she loves hisoka and and the The guy there goes. Oh, I don't think we have any hisoka stuff left

And then the girl says, oh your niece loves hisoka. Yeah, and then she shows me those things and she goes Does she like what's the volleyball show? Hi Q. Does she like hi Q? I go you bet. She does no idea was praying I was like, please be please like hi Q And then she said which which of the five figures the five main people do you like or six main people? Do you like yeah, and I picked the redhead because of me and the other one because he looks a little bit like you Right and the girl goes. Oh, those are very popular characters. So I we picked right the other guys aren't as popular, right, huh? Yeah, but I still love them. You like them anyway. Who's your honestly is your favorite one in there or no? He's my favorite that guy is the redheaded one. Yeah, it's fucking crazy. It's amazing. That's amazing. It's crazy

Um, so happy birthday rude. Thank you back to you for real I didn't sleep last night and I know you haven't been sleeping. Yeah Um dreams night just nightmares, dude. Yeah crazy nightmares, but like they're not consistent One thing is something and then it moves to another part then it moves to another part And I tried to look them up and my aunt had one of these friends that used to read dreams. Yeah I sent her an email and you know, it's like, yeah, it's so funny. They say that nightmares and dreams are only seven seconds long or something And the rest of your sleep is just you don't I don't know but like I've had like voyages like

Me too in my dreams. How are those only seven seconds long? Some of them I can plan out like I was in the house the other night. Yeah, I could I could tell you room to room Almost precisely what was going on in each room and like I remember walking up the stairs And it's probably because it reminds me of my old friend Matt's house to have one of those landings You know a stair that has a landing it looks down into the house Yeah, and I remember how creepy it looked and someone was yelling I could really like map it out seven seconds seems way too short. Yeah, and then you'll have dreams You'll somebody will appear in your dream have a cameo that you've never thought about in 30 years

Why was Vince Vaughn in my dream? Yeah, it's like I'll I'll be dreaming. I'm like Craig Right, Craig Rob. No Craig Crawford my friend from middle school and you just popped in he's just be in the closet like cooking something He's like beef stew. Yeah, and I'd be like, what are you doing here, Craig? But they don't really talk for summer. I know they don't answer all these people He doesn't have any lines, but he's definitely in the show. You know what I mean? That's the best to think he's like he's background. He's background, but still it's like why would it and it's like um You'll also um people that you don't like will be your friend in it

That well, that's I hate that when you like are getting along with your enemies. All right in your dreams Yeah, it's like creeps me out. I don't like it Kevin Shea What are we skiing for? And Kevin's like, you know, come on down down the slope. There'll be those hot chocolate down there And you're all right, Kevin. Wait a minute. Well if I was a conscious, yeah, I'll kill him. Yeah, but you get down there He's he got hot chocolate for you by the fire And you go to drink the hot a cup of hot chocolate and it's Eric Griffin. It's just melted in there And then we do the hot dog thing where we're like biting each end and we bite and we kiss at the end

I mean, it's like why do you do that? I don't know. Maybe maybe it's did my Self-conscious telling me to make up with him or no No, it's that you've thought about him in the past certain amount of time. Yeah, but why are we skiing together? Because it's a metaphor for something. You know, it's so annoying about Def Jam What none of them were deaf not one of those black comics was deaf And I wanted them to put on one deaf one deaf black comic You know great to be here Can you say great to be here on a deaf comic show?

That's your first joke But they still do great to be here. They still do they they still do the um the blood the the material right black people buds are much higher up than white people's buds right Mitch is me crazy I don't know. I don't know. It's so stupid. It's such a dumb joke that I'm making Yeah, we're meeting. So look, I've got you a meeting with a a sleep expert Because look the internet the fans are worried. So I've got you a meeting with a sleep expert

Ladies and gentlemen, this is doc. This is dr. J. Corsandi. He is a He is an expert in all things helping bobby with his sleep troubles Yeah, so dr. Corsandi. Why don't you uh Take it from here because we're worried about bobs. I Dr. Corsans says I um I just I I have to say that I'm not worried about it and everyone's like Being crazy around me. Yeah, I'm fine with it. I've always slept the way I've slept I have um

When I sleep my my girlfriend records me when I sleep And you should see that it's crazy what I do. I'll go like this when I'm sleeping Oh gross As if it's already not hard to date. I know I know but but I make that noise when I'm sleeping and and she records me Yeah, and whenever I see it. I laugh because I go. What the fuck am I doing? Why do I do that? You know when I'm asleep. Is that a sign of anything dr. Corsandi? Is that a is that yeah, so when he says I'm eating pussy in the

I just feel like I'm eating pussy in the dream. You should do it more in real life. So so I you know I see I see a lot of patients that come in especially guys and they say, you know, it's not a problem It doesn't bother me it bothers somebody else. So in some ways it could be indirectly bothering you because The girlfriend could be suffering from this She is yeah, trust me. She is she is suffering, but why am I making that right? Yeah, so that's called mouth breathing and I do you wake up with a dry mouth? Or do you have water by the bed or any of that going on? Well, here's the thing I don't I try not to drink water a lot of water before I go to bed

Are you doing a lot about the night as well? Okay, yeah You know, I would say you probably do want to be a little bit worried about this because most of my Patients I'd say 90% are guys 40 to 50 and I think you've fallen that demographic as well. That's what happens Yeah, when you turn 40 Oh pause and what's happening is we're getting a big testosterone drop Typically there's a partner or spouse involved sometimes kids, you know family work stress life And then weight tends to start creeping up

And what happens is that constricts the airway and that's what I specialize in is what's called airway management or sleep Disorder of breathing so snoring and sleep apnea and as you start to develop more snoring and sleep apnea That's when the health concerns are gonna start spiking, you know things like Elevated blood pressure type 2 diabetes. I know you guys are a little bit more degenerate on this show So we could talk about uh, libido loss a lot of guys come in to say they can't get it up as much in more They're taking viagra stuff like that. So so these are problems Well, you know, I used to be a fuck machine in a rabbit time usa

2020 all day all day long, you know, it's a drill. I used to go Like I like how you go now But hands free hands free now. It's like sloth style It's it's uh It takes me about 45 minutes to an hour to get in the hole You know what I mean? And then when I'm in there, it's like it's just like, you know, I don't even go up and down anymore I go like a hula hoop. Yeah, it goes around and around and around around around and I do it real slow And then I just I didn't last night. Well, I'm sorry for saying this Jules

But now I'll put your fingers in your ears. Put your fingers in your ears last night. Um, if you can I made love to callila And um, I just said I just whispered in her ear. I go I'm just gonna lay on my back She goes you want me to do all the work. I got everything All right, so I laid on my back and she's just you know, I mean does you know does her dao, right? Yeah, and then Oh, you're sleeping Yeah, so so that's a big problem, you know your your mouth breathing. Uh, that's a dry mouth that kind of that Sound that you make and you know, those are all going to cause uh sleep loss for you

And and research has shown that partners of people who snore on average lose an hour of sleep at night And then but but is also is there death stuff involved? I wanted to really scare him with you Yeah, like uh, can you die? Yeah, can you have a stroke? Can you have a heart attack like because what I have to let you know is like He's a reckless human being four times only hood of a stroke Uh, those are the two biggest ones if you make it long enough then you're looking at what's called no cognitive decline Which is Alzheimer's dementia, you know in capacity function loss So so these things tend to slow down and the reason this stuff happens is because poor sleep is an inflammatory process When we're not rejuvenating we're not restoring if we're snoring at night

That's keeping our brain from getting into deeper stages of sleep Uh, so it's just like if you have your phone and you plug it in the charger that's really beat up wire You're not going to recharge as well Which means you're not going to function the next day, but ultimately All right, dr. Shaw's just gone. What do we do here? What can we do to help him out? Does he need a sleep apnea machine? The first step in something like this is a sleep study I mean basically, uh, find out what's going on at night. See that's what that's So that right so my doctor dr. Kawashiri my doctor. What's his name?

Dr. Kawashiri. Is he a sleep doctor? Or just a doctor doctor. He's my doctor. He's a he's a general practitioner general. Okay. Well, this this gentleman is specific I understand that but I'm that's but I was talking. I don't know. I'm just gonna tell you a story We just let Kawashiri know that we're a little bit advanced. Just remind him. I'll let him know, but he's very good Well, if you look at him up, he's very good. We will google him. Okay, but go ahead. So, um, he does fred durst everybody um, oh, yeah I just made that up But uh, I just had to defend dr. Kawashiri for a second

But I you know, we talked to talk a dr. Kawashiri before the pandemic and he goes. Oh, well, you need to have uh, he goes You need to have a Sleep study. Yep, and I go I'm out. I'm like, what study? I'm not gonna come here and try to so I I need wires The old traditional way old school way of doing sleep studies. Yeah, you'd have to pack a bag go spend the night at a Facility or hospital. Uh, yeah affordable their take on name is shippable We actually just send them to your house Uh, you do it at night and then you ship it back to us and then we plug it in the computer and we get the reports

Super easy. Perfect So, so you can you can you can ship it to us and we can use it and you can ship it back We can ship it back to you and find the results. Okay All right, brother. Have a good day. Thanks, man. Bye All right, this episode is sponsored by bluetooth. I'm telling you right now. Andrew bluetooth really does work I've used it in my own personal life and as soon as I chew chew on it, man I get erect erecti and I go right into business, man So I've used the stuff that you get at the gas station. That's really sad and embarrassing

And I'll never do that again because bluetooth is the perfect thing to use when you're looking to get an extra Of bluetooth brings you the first chewable with the same FDA approved active ingredients as viagra and sialis You can take them anytime day or night full stomach empty whenever you're ready to rock and roll, baby How do you get it, bob? You get it by uh bluetooth is prescribed online by a licensed physician So you don't have to go to the doctor's office or wait in line at a pharmacy And it's it ships right to your door in a discreet packet And guess what they're made right here in the u.s

Survive baby. Yeah, they ship direct or cheaper than a pharmacy And you don't have to wait in the doctor's office because I know that's uncomfortable. Nobody likes going to the doc We have a special offer for our listeners Go to bluetooth blue light color blue blue chew.com Get your first shipment for free when you use our promo code bad friends pay five bucks for shipping and handling Again spell it for him bob. It's lue two dot com promo code bad friends Try it for free bluetooth the better cheaper choice. We thank them for sponsoring the podcast by the way guys If you support them they support us. That's how this thing keeps moving. You make it possible

So be sure to use the promo code bad friends at bluetooth.com Door dash door dash has saved my life during the pandemic andy same sweet hot Um, you know, I use door dash pretty much every day We use it pretty often you use it a little bit more than I do every do use it very very often I love chinese food same pizzas from it. Thai is our favorite to order. I love getting mexican mexicans You like to get a mexican mexican food the real stuff That's what we have here in southern california door dash of the app that brings the food that you're craving right to your door Immediately, you know it. You've probably heard of it. It's incredible

If you have a restaurant near you and you want the food get door dash. They'll give it to you You don't have to get up off your couch You have to do anything 300 000 partners in the u.s. Puerto Rico, canada australia Support your restaurants. We've talked about this no joke Bobo has done a great job staying at home during the pandy pandy and supporting restaurants He's probably paid a couple of mortgages through door dash Yep, they've gotten food of all kinds Uh, it's easy. It's simple. It's contactless and it's like, um, it's safe. It's very safe

If you're looking for something safe and delicious, you're hungry do yourself a favor and get door dash Our listeners are getting five dollars off their first order of 15 dollars or more and zero delivery fees for the first month Which is great because I paid so much money in delivery fees Download the door dash app and enter the code bad friends. That's five bucks off your first order and zero delivery fees That code bad friends for five dollars off your first order with door dash That's right zero delivery fees for a month when you download the door dash app in the app store and enter the code bad friends Don't forget bad friends five bucks off your first order Zero delivery fees for the first month with door dash. My eye still hurts right here. My eye still hurts from what?

From what you throw in the mask in my face. I didn't throw the mask at your face. You did. No, I didn't You did tape You got a little cut. Do I really? Yeah Little tiny cut right above your eye Seriously right on your eyelid actually I see it now. Yeah, you did that. Isn't that cool? It's fucked up. What does that mean?

You would fucking attack me. No, but what does that mean to you? What does what means to me that little cut? What does that mean? Let it go man. It's gone. It's over. It's not no it already happened. It doesn't matter, right? It doesn't mean that that's in the past right? No, what it means to me is it doesn't even matter things don't even matter, right? Yeah, what it can I answer you that cut that cut represents? That cut represents every time That you said something about my mom every time you were late and complained every time you acted like a baby about something That's what that that little tiny minuscule Nothing cut the way that you go. Why do you get frustrated at nothing?

That cuts a little nothing too. It doesn't even exist I can't let it bother you But it's also a reminder. It's it's a hint. Yeah Hey, fuck with me and I'll I'll I'll fuck you up I'll give you bigger cuts. I have more stuff to throw at you. I know what I've been seeing but now You push me to the edge All right, you push me the edge on your on your birthday You called me a puss

And then dared me throw the cake and everything in my power wanted me to throw the cake and also Anime scuttle and punch through the cake. Yeah and kill you and and just like fold in your head with my fist Yeah, but why does it go to violence? Because there's no other way to get through to you Violence is the only way to get through this for me to get through to you. Not to somebody. Yeah, I'm never violent with rudy I would never yeah, because she's she's conscious and aware and thoughtful You know So you had the resort to violence okay with you. Yeah, I know I have to resort to violence with you that you don't

You don't have to I do because it reminds you of Things that you shouldn't be doing No, it doesn't what it does is it makes me want to double down And then I'm gonna hit you harder. I know and then it's gonna end up us not being friends and it's gonna get ugly So why don't you stop with the violence? No, why don't you stop with the shit? Like what did I do? Everything I brought up rat leather right to precisely skin because I knew talk to about my mom And then I attacked you about your mom. That's right. And then I had I had to retaliate I know because you started with the mom stuff because you've unsolicited mom stuff at me all the time

Yeah, you you do you do it all the time So I just had to hit you I didn't mean to make you believe And I did think hitting you with a soft mask wasn't gonna hurt But something caught you right in the eye and maybe that's god Maybe that's jesus going god did god. No, it was the devil Yes, it was yeah, it's dark shit that you have to work out. Yeah, you're very angry. I'm working it out Yeah, yeah, but with you, but with you you make it you make it really no one's ever assaulted me That is so not true who I've seen you get assaulted at the comedy store multiple times

multiple people have punched you one okay Are you sure fear? Yeah, and you deserved it Really, do you know why he didn't you called him an ugly Jew bag? No, I didn't yeah, you did you said you're a dirty Jew Because you and he goes you don't like Jewish people and you said no, he called me Yeah, right because Natasha Legerro. I cheated on him. Okay with who with Ron Peterson Ron Peterson was a Canadian actor who is martin short's friend Canadian actor I'll tell you know the story right? I do know the story

They don't how come out. Why do I have to tell you because some of the people don't know the story All right, so let's just go back Right, so Ron Peterson was an actor on mad tv when I was on mad tv And he was at the store with me He saw Natasha Legerro go up in the belly room and he goes I want to penetrate her and I go she's seeing my friend Ari And then I went down to the or to do my set. He stayed up there And while she got when she got off stage He got her number

She left Ari And then Ari comes to me and he says can you break into Ron Peterson's office at fox? Steal his email and then forward it to me I'm not breaking into somebody's fucking office do that then he said if you don't do it You're the one that set them up and I'll fucking kill you That's not nice. Yeah, so that's the kind of shit you would do That's not crazy violence. You're so crazy. I know so don't go there. First of all, don't go there I'm sorry about about the cut. Yeah, I'm not sorry about throwing the mask

That you deserved the cut. I don't I didn't mean to hurt you Okay, but I did want to hit you with it because I thought that was fun Because it's a this is like a symbolic of me don't throw anything at my face again I'm gonna throw stuff at you if I want to You break all of my request and rules. So what are your request and rules? Let's let's start there I think our friendship's on the line now. Okay. All right. So let's start there. Okay. So what is what is the problem? Here we have resentment. Let's do that. How about not being so disrespectful of me and or my time? Okay, so today like like like not texting me back or not answering my calls even even if it's just like a oh, okay, cool

okay Matt rife wants you to do a stand-up shows you interested I respond. I'm not performing till we have vaccine right on that's the last one. I texted you the problem there That's just one. Let's go through the other scroll of how many blues are on my side and no response on your end Okay, so um, I'll go through it too bobo I don't know what to say to that When somebody says hey, what's up? You don't know what to say. That's what bobo is Is your is your name bobo? Do people call you bobo? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So what do you mean?

Andrew if you said to me Hey firehead. Hey. Hey. Hey freak monster boy. But bobo Let me just say something when you randomly say somebody's name bobo. It's not a question, right? It's an introduction to a conversation. It's just not a statement in any kind of way I don't know how to respond to you use a name to in to start again. Hey, it's like saying hey If I go Rudy, she goes what and then we start a fucking conversation I don't yeah, I know. I just don't know. Oh, so all right. So basically you see Instead of saying, I don't know what you're saying. Yeah, you don't say shit

So I you say bobo then I go Andrew, right? You didn't say bobo. You know what goes after that? You didn't you know what goes after that? I'll read what you said 60 90 each other. It's fucking gay You said any videos so I'm supposed to go ha ha ha ha lol lol smiley face emoji emoji What a fuck. I'm what the fuck is this? What are you getting you're getting angry again? No, yeah Why are you getting angry? No, we're just having a conversation. Okay, so um the other day you said that I'm late. It upset you okay every time You're late every fucking day at three fucking 30, right? I go

Please text Andrew and say that I'm gonna go now. She's like you she goes you can't go right now I go why because The fucking postmates isn't running late and she goes the fucking was there not a red truck blocking my car out of the driveway Right, so I go. Holy shit, and I kept telling ancela We were almost getting a fight. I go if I'm fucking late I swear to god I go if I'm fucking like Andrew is gonna fucking yell the fuck out of me She goes let me text them. She did text me exactly, right? So that all that shit I had no control over

I know but you know how you know how like when a drug addict is like, yeah No, this time I didn't this time or like you know when someone goes it was going to be the last bank We robbed or it was like I just it was just that one more time, you know So so so my point is this it's not like this was the one or two or three times the bank robbery Let's go back to the bank robbery. Sure. Okay. You and I are bank robbers. Okay. Yeah, and I look at you and I go, um Bro, hey, I forgot the masks. That's what you would say. Oh fuck. I forgot the mask to rob the bank Yeah, and I go

Are you This is the mask you I got our mask to rob the bank. I know but no What I'm saying is is what you're saying that you're saying this is the last bank job We're gonna do is the point right of this thing. No the point is and then let me just finish so you and I write rob a bank Yeah, okay, which one whatever chase chase chase. Okay, and you say to me. This is the last one I go, yeah, all right. We robbed the bank, right? And we have a bunch of money and that's gonna take care of us for the next five ten years Great, we're not gonna rob bank, right? Okay, and all of a sudden like, um

We leave all the money in the trunk of a rental car You leave all that you leave all that regardless because I didn't leave it. All right. All right Why did you leave it in the mall like you fucking left it in the enterprise rental car? Yeah, you already know the scenario and I go. Yeah, we have to rob another bank. Yeah, that's what this situation is It's exactly right. Yeah. Yeah, and we'd rob another bank and we'd get caught we'd go to prison We said we had it if you didn't leave it in the Chevy fucking Malibu and return it to enterprise What you're saying it to me though is is that we I can't listen to like I was late. I love you so much I hate you right now. I love you hurt me and I don't like when people physically assault. Oh, stop it

It was an accident. Honestly my eye. I said, I'm sorry. I said, I'm sorry. Get out man I said, I'm sorry. All right. You don't throw anything on my face again. I said, I'm sorry I didn't mean to cut you. You're gonna throw something on my face again. I threw this plastic You throw myself rubber Don't all I throw at your face now from now on is compliments and love Okay, Bobby. So why why are you doing it like that? No, I just I'm being real sarcastic. No, I'm not Let's be real I don't like seems like you have deep-seated resentment because you bring out the worst in me sometimes

I don't yes, you do I don't do it to Rudy. You do it to you. I don't do it to fucking Andres Fancy be do I ever do I ever get uppity with you and insane? See nothing fancy be People know listen, all right. Yeah, I know what kind of person okay. How about this? I'll only hurt men Let me just finish. Yeah, I'll hurt. I will probably physically and emotionally hurt men temperament and I'll fight you and I'll kill you I know that I want to kill you know that you have a temperament, right? You have a certain way about you, right? I accept you the way you are

I really do I accept you the way you are as long as I don't get physically hurt by you Right. Let me finish. Stop pretending. I accept you. I accept you the way you are stop making it like this was an insane violence I threw a mask. All right. I'm scarred flood now. Shut like a fucking pirate now. I have a story to tell Right. I gotta tell people the story. You threw a fucking Andrew Santino fucking mask at me Who did it? Andrew Santino a funny story nonetheless He threw a mask of his own head at your head. Yeah, and I'm gonna say this right now If you ever fucking put a scar on my face again, right, you'll see what's coming to you. What would you do nothing?

I know that's a point Nothing, but that's gonna be sad because I'll have nothing to do with you. Yeah Go ahead I have nothing get all because this is the episode where you get all of it out I've done it every episode. All right, so every episode. I tell you what bothers me I told you that let's not let let's fucking finish it off I told you that right that I um I'm gonna do everything I can to show up here on time today. I tried you did a good job red truck fuck

I understand and I was fucking five minutes. I wasn't even that bothered by it. All right. No, that's number one. Yeah number two. What else? What else do you do? Yeah, that bothers you. Oh my god. I'll just can I just email you? No, tell me now No You have to I can't air it out. You cut it out. We'll cut it out. No No, because you know what the irony is bob. Yeah You know what irony is, right? Yeah the irony is I love you so much

This is real. Yeah, you can cut this out. Yeah, I love you so much. Yeah And I care about you See, yeah, no, that's me absorbing it I'm sucking it in that Even the things you do that fucking kill me I still love about you and it's a part of our relationship The toxicity of

toxicity the toxicity of what it does to me when you do shit that Bothers me is probably why I like you Yeah, if you were boring I probably wouldn't want to be your friend So ironically, okay, the the the chaos that is bobby lee Is why I think I love you, right? And that's you know, and once in a while. Yeah during the chaos of a tornado. Yeah You get hit in the fucking head with a mask. Yeah

Yeah stuff flies everywhere The truth but the truth the truth is I don't I being screamed at what I enjoy being screamed at I know that's why I know I I enjoy These kind of moments of like, you know, I mean a hostility and weirdness And resentment and I don't resent you. I know but I'm just saying I enjoy the tension the tension of it, right? I strive on it That's my fucking view Okay, so let's keep it going. I don't like being physically harmed. You're gonna go back to this bullshit. No, I already apologize

I know I don't know. I'm just because we're not gonna talk about it again. I'm just telling you what what I do and don't like I know what you don't nobody likes to get hit in the face with a mask, right? I'm well aware. I just don't like it Okay, you know, I don't like being you know, I like um being called a gook I like being like, you know, I mean, I don't call you that I know I'm just saying I'm just telling you what I do Like so I can from now on. No, no, no, no, I'm just saying it doesn't you know, I mean I like confrontation in that way All right, right people you're you're lazy. You're fat. You're nothing You're good for nothing all that stuff that you do, right? I enjoy

You're insane. I only have nothing you're nothing person compliment you constantly I'm saying that I can handle any of that shit, right? When I can't handle right is I don't want to die or I don't want to get scarred. I wouldn't hurt you Right. I wouldn't really hurt you. You're that type of guy. I wouldn't I beg you. I beg you honestly No, I know I honestly can I just go here and I'll get on my knees I'll get on my fucking knees man I'll get out of knees Please

Please don't physically hurt me again Okay, I apologize. Please sir Don't hurt me again. Okay. I'll think about it. No, no be real to say it right now. I already told you Please don't do it again, please Don't do it again. I promise I won't okay For for comedic purposes, you do know right right now would be the best time for me to throw this mask at you Policy genius. Oh my god. I love policy genius because I like to save money and I want to know what the best possible price is for Insurances. Yeah, that's it's hard. Look if you have a car or you live in a home you can do both

Uh looking around for insurances is rough. It's not fun. Yeah, it's it's it's a bummer And you don't know what to do a policy genius saves home and auto customers an average of a thousand dollars a year By shopping around to a bunch of different rates. All you have to do is go to policy genius dot com Answer some questions a few questions about yourself and your property and then boom boom they do the rest They load up a compare rates. They show you they go this guy this guy this guy this guy this guy Yeah, and then you can find out which one works the best for you licensed experts They they show you how to maximize the savings. It also has a five star rating across 1600 reviews On trust pilot and google. That's right, man. They're doing a great job over there

Uh, I uh, I'm a big proponent of this you like saving money Which we do over here at bad friends if you're a homeowner go over to policy genius dot com get started All you got to do answer that then they save you money On home and auto an average of a thousand dollars a year by re shopping around your plans policy genius when it comes to insurance It's nice to get it right Harries. Oh my god. I love Harries. Um, you know what? I like, um high quality razors. Yes, and I also don't like, you know, um Trying to search the town to find them, right? I like I love Harries because it delivers right to your door And you know, I get Harries and I love shaving your back

Well, I get Harry on my back and you his back is nasty Well, when you shave it when we got Harries, it was worth it We got we got some razors and it were and it's nice and smooth now. It's founded by these two guys Um, Jeff and Andy and they were best friends. Yep, and they realized that they were overpaying for razors as all men do Yeah, and then they they created and they created the design the design and it's like well What Harries is doing is they want they want people to have access to something That's convenient. That's nice. That's does high quality, but it's not going to rip you off Like so many razors you go to they go to the store to buy them. It's it's disgusting

Yeah, these are sharper. They're nicer Um, and they're they're saying that everyone is is whether they're the steel that they use is from Sweden Yeah, and they own the whole entire manufacturing process From rnd to the factory to floor and it's so they they can see the process You know how sometimes like people make stuff and they just go to china and like I don't know where they're from Yeah, yeah, these are hands-on guys. Yeah, they know exactly what they're making They're exactly what they're giving you so if you're a fella who likes to shave any part of your body really it doesn't matter Yeah, me is my back. That's what I like and bobby's shave is right here under his little chin and on his cheeks

Harries guys they confidently stand by their blades with a hundred percent money back guarantee On harries.com. That's incredible and for our listeners honestly new u.s. Customers can redeem a harry's trial set at harry's.com slash bad friends for just three dollars You get a five blade razor featuring their new sharper blades weighted ergonomic handle foaming shave jave With gel and aloe a travel cover to protect the blade when you're on the go If you need a raider go just go to harry's.com slash bad friends and redeem your trial offer today And also, can I just say this? Bobby shut up. I love you too. Yes, but let me just say this Okay, and just since we're doing this jewels

Don't fucking look at me that way because when I was in the car with you, right? When I was in the car with you with some nice music on right? What did I say to you and you laughed? You said I love you And what did you what was your response? I love yeah Okay, do you not love him? No, I don't know she doesn't and so now since we're doing this right now Yeah, we're doing it. We're doing it right now, right?

That hurt You threw a fucking a mask in my face too in the car an emotional you also laugh Because of your response. Do you know what your response was? Nice music was playing right? You know what I mean? And um, I just kind of was driving and I looked at her and I go You know what? I love you and she goes She was eating a sandwich. Mm-hmm. She good What?

That she says so then I put down the volume and I go I just said I love you and she went like this She made this fit And then her response their face made me laugh Like what the fuck all right. I don't love you. What the fuck right and then we both laughed But right so that's what that's the truth Right what you did was hurtful. You threw a mask at me earlier Okay, that's what it really is. Yeah, no this didn't even hurt that much. It did that hurt So, um

Stop touching your eyes. It hurts. Oh, okay. No, the last thing is um Um I get weirded out I'm ready Whatever it is. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, please all right. I get weirded out when friends send me like You know cute Memes what did I should what did I send you videos or something to you know?

Let's giggle about something together. You know what I mean like schoolgirls. What did I send you? I don't know what that is. I didn't watch it right But it's like whenever somebody that's a video I sent you that we were gonna play on this show Okay, but when you send me like so that's Okay, so I don't want to you don't want me to send you shit. I didn't know that I didn't know that well No, you didn't because you didn't fucking watch it Prefer it. I don't send you fucking cute memes. Look at how do you're digging for shit that doesn't even exist You're right. You're right. I'm just looking now. There is now you're pissing me off. I know

Thank you. Look at me in the face. Yeah, say sorry Say sorry because I'm gonna say it to you. I can't I'm sorry for hitting you in the face I can't so say sorry for that. Sorry for what? Sorry for being up for making up shit You fucking you fucking drama queen. I'm sorry. I love you So now you're allowed to get starbucks by the way. Is this a new rule? Yeah, delivered. What's the difference if you go to the drive-thru window? They won't let me No, no, I'm asking I'm asking what what's the drive-thru window between a guy that delivers it? I don't know. They won't let me. I don't get it. Do you know what it is?

No, I just follow it. You follow the rule. Yeah. Yeah, the rules now I get I get I get not being in an enclosed space, but I think a drive-thru seems like that seems Regardless, who's winning who's winning you didn't get COVID and I did so maybe that's your but I also don't go to drive-thrus Ironically enough. I don't think I will get COVID. Oh god. Whittling. You won't you won't because I just don't leave the house You know, you know, you don't you don't think that I you won't you don't think that I Desire to to get it. Do you want to get it and get it over with? No, I have it Do you know Fauci said half of Americans are going to get it by the end of next year? Half of Americans will have had it by the end of next year. What's that sticker on the back of your phone?

Me and Clila Oh, what is that? When is that from? Is that new? Long time ago. Oh, why? I've never seen it. Um, Um, let's get into what let's just get into what let's talk about the British Bake Off Oh my god, I love the British Bake Off. Do you watch a show? Are you kidding me? Are you watching this season? Yes No, be real. I swear and we just finished the great pottery. Uh, the great uh, the great British pottery, um show Uh, on netflix, why can't I watch a pottery show? Oh my god, they make pots Oh, they do the pottery wheel. I didn't know and they're but I don't know that one

So can we talk about the British one fine? We could talk about the break-in break-in break-in break-in break-in break Do you watch it really? Yes, we do or let me ask you because I don't know if you do Who's in it? Like give me a description of people that that's in it. Margo Uh Kaelin no, babe. You don't watch it. Just why don't you just be honest that you don't watch the show Margo Kaelin There's no Margo Kaelin in it um The new princess

The new princess this do not watch it. Of course. I don't watch that show. That's insane You you don't watch the great British great My sister my sister loves it and she got me to watch an episode or two with her when I was back home. Yeah, and um I just I just don't know that I don't know. I don't know if I care about watching people bake stuff. It's hard for me Okay, I I tried I know people like it. No, no, it's it's not about that It is about baking. That's the crux of it. That's the foundation of it, right? Right, but Here's why I like it and I here's why I think it's a great show. Okay. Okay. Tell me why okay. Tell me why I must watch the show okay, because

You know, we live in a um America I know we were right. Well, but he's not feeling no Yeah, you and I specifically, right? We live in this like kind of dark underbelly of comedy Right, we do. Okay, and we live, you know, like in terms of like, um, what we think about what we talk about You know, some of our ideals and ethics and because we're always kind of so dark and gloomy, right? That we live in this kind of, you know, I mean under a shroud of You know, I mean a shroud we're in the upside down. We're in the upside down world

Right, we see everything we were in the college. So so dark and you know, I mean, I've seen dark things and yeah drugs and all kinds of stuff Right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And when you watch the great british bakeoff, right? It's the polar opposite of that. It's what it should be. Yeah, it's happy. Yeah It's number one. It's a competition show where it's When somebody leaves the show They hug them goodbye. There's no fucking caddiness like bitch. You know what I mean? You should have buck and made croissants better, bitch. You know what I mean? There's none of that. That's a funny show, too I know that would be a great show, right? It's like

Tonya was I'm so sad to see her go and they hug and it's really pleasant even the the coach and I like the judges Everyone gets together at the end and they talk about it, right? But number one number two. It's very creative show It's like, you know, there's the technical challenge in the middle, right? But the first challenge in the last challenge, it's up to the person Uh, would they they decide what they want to make if it's like, um bread week, right? It's like, you know, we want you to make a bread shaped as you know, I mean Colonial make it a colonial building, right?

But you can use any ingredients you want, right? And you can use any kind of bread that you want So everyone it becomes creative, right? And it's um And it's interesting because you're like for number one, I love bread and I love anything baking Everybody loves bread, right? But I just love people's ingenuity and um Because there's a time crunch too, right? There's the stress of it. But it's like um, I just it's a wholesome Show and I feel like um I need it I do think you do because I okay. So what I agree with you on that I'll try it again. Yeah

The reason I like the pottery show Is there really a pottery show because I've never heard of one. I swear to god. I swear to god. I think you're lying I swear to god. It's on netflix. I swear to god of my life. Why would pottery be a thing? Pottery netflix show british Look It's called The great pottery throwdown. I love it the great pottery throwdown. It's on netflix Okay

In the same way that you're talking about the reason I love it. Oh, I like it because I I'm I'm fascinated by pottery My therapist says I should pot You should pot. I know but I that you got to buy the wheel and and And I know me if once you're getting the pot molded just right and it folds in on itself I'm losing it Maybe instead of like buying the most expensive Mercedes. You could have got a pottery wheel I didn't buy most expensive Mercedes. Whatever that I don't even drive a Mercedes. What is that bends? That's a kid. That's a kia sorento that I drive

It's not a Mercedes. It's a kia sorento It is Yes Okay, okay, and that is nothing new the but I'm not gonna buy a wheel pottering wheel for my house Why I'm just saying that you you spent so much on other things. What are the other things I spend on? Take the fucking Mercedes It's a kia sorento. I don't have a Mercedes. That's not your car. They're not there that I see all the time There are 50 cars in our parking lot. Was it Mercedes? It's not a Mercedes. It's it's a

kia. I gotta go look at it then. That's mine. That's his. Oh, you have a Mercedes? Fancy b under underline fancy. Oh, you have that kia sorento is yours. That's mine Well, you get a better car, but you spent money on I don't spend money on anything. Okay Not my clothes are terrible. That's true. Okay. Yes Andres, but I've he just said yes to me. I've been to your house That's what what what I buy nothing in my home your house looks like I'm sorry Yeah, you hate it place. I know it is it's from movie set. We rent it out every week. No, I rent it out Everything is

It's like a you know a showroom at a furniture store mise en place. It's beautiful mise en place great conks And ottoman. Do you know what mise en place means? No, it's a it's a it's a culinary term It means everything in its place everything in its place a chef would say mise en place meaning Everything goes where it's supposed to be. You know, I love Spielberg movies Especially when he portrays families because that's what I think a family should look like The living room like if you ever see et right everything's disheveled. Yeah, and there's cups and you know, I mean it just looks real He does middle-class America when I look at your place. It's like bougie bougie. Yeah, your house is twice the price and twice the size of mine. Yeah, but the inside is garbage

That's right. Right. There's like fucking cat shit all over the fucking place. Yeah, but yeah, but yeah, but you guys have fancy furniture You have expensive stuff in your home. I don't have expensive my couch. How much was your couch? Well, it was a gift What's we got it for free No It was a gift from someone that owns a furniture company that I know. Yeah, how much was it? I think it was like a couple grand And your couch is probably 20 grand. No 30 22 22 grand

Yeah, but it's from front Italy. That's what they see you are fancy. I'm not fancy. That's what they charge, right? Jules, how much like how much is your bed? Um, or my bed was like the bed frame the bed frame. No, not the bed itself and you don't you don't do tempura pedic No, I do. Um, whatever our sponsor is whatever our sponsor is No, no, no, but like what's the most expensive you you buy expensive stuff I the last expensive thing I bought for real genuinely my thing wasn't expensive. It was hand built for the room So yes, it was expensive. No, my buddy did it. I don't know. I'm not let me go backwards. Yeah. Yeah I know I don't know it's last night castro. Yeah

I built I I love the pottery show Because like the great british bake-off. Yeah When you lose They they they're sad they cry The host of the show cries. He'll look at someone's pot. He'll look at this the ceramic mug. Yeah, and he'll go The composition's quite incredible and look the thinness that you've done at the base I can tell I can tell yeah, you put something extra in there. That's what I really appreciate about is

He cries all the time. It makes my heart glow Yeah, so I love the show because I don't care about pottery really although I'm supposed to do it to my therapist, but They root for each other and if someone's done early like on on um chopped If you finish your cooking, you're not gonna fucking help someone cook a meal Yeah, yeah when they finish on the great on the pottery show. Yeah, they'll go help someone else put them in the thing So they dry fast. Oh, no, no, that's what the british one. So I'm saying well, these are all british people This is british, too That's what my mate. You need you need more cumin. I've got extra cumin

Because I run out. Have you got extra cumin and the guy will rush and give it to him I don't know what cumin is. Thanks for the extra cumin. It's like have I talked about the anti-growth show on this show before No, but I have a story. Yeah, me too. Go. So I love it when like, you know, the appraiser Get something that's so rare. They begin to cry. Yeah, I love that. Oh my god I've studied, you know, I went to Oxford and read about the history of this ornament never saw it in the flesh I cannot believe that it doesn't fit me right now. How much is it worth? $14.95 No, but they get like, you know, I mean this china mingling Tao, right with his hands and clay, right?

This is when he lost his hands during the fucking war between the monks, right? With his nubs, he carved, you know, I mean this statue this cat. Yeah, he died While carving, right? And his cousin Eddie His cousin Eddie had to grab it from Ming's hand, you know, and it's like The only thing alive, the only thing that exists left from that from Ming that from that His cousin Eddie grabbed his hands and still shaped it while he was dead. There was another one where to finish the sculpture One that was a amen. I just bought this, you know, Mexican painting at the thrift store, right? And the lady's like, where where do where is it? Like where do you hang it in the in the garage, man?

Yeah, it's in the garage by the tool shed. Yeah That painting's five million dollars. Shut up. Yeah Like I like a what who's it? Did you ever see the one? This is the best one Did you ever see the one of this man, right? He had this blanket? Right. Uh-huh. He had this blanket that was like like a throw blanket like that was just in growing up in his house You know what I mean? Just by the toilet, right? Right. Yeah, you should see it. It's really great. And when she tells him What it's worth

He brings the cry because dude, it's so touching. Can I just show it to you? Let's look it up. Oh my god It's so touching. It's like this Navajo blanket 40 to 1860 and it's called a youth first phase a youth a youth first phase wearing blank Watch he gets emotional the old man, but it's Navajo made they were made for youth chiefs And they were very very valuable at the time. This is sort of this is Navajo weaving in its purest form All of these things that we see later with diamonds and all kinds of different patterns comes much later than this This is just pure linear design. This is the the beginning of Navajo. I'd wipe my ass with that And if that wasn't out, like I wouldn't talk about that. Would you it looks like a rug? It looks like a bathroom mat. Yeah

Unbelievable we see these we've got a little bit of damage over there. It's made from hand woven wool But it's so finely done. It's like silk. It would repel water and this here is dyed with indigo dyes It was a very valuable dye at the time. There's an extraordinary piece of art. It's extremely rare It is the most important thing that's come into the road show that I've seen Um, do you have sense at all of what we were looking at here in terms of I haven't a clue Are are you a wealthy man? No? Well, sir, um I'm I'm still a little nervous here. I have to tell you

On a really bad day this textile would be worth $350,000 $350,000 for a fucking blanket. Look at him. Yeah, he's just what is he's gonna fucking die. Yeah, he's like I don't fucking share myself. No, I used to fuck my cousin on this rug In the backyard, you know what I mean? Yeah, 300. What does he say here? On a good day, it's about a half a million dollars Oh my god You had no idea I had no idea

I just laying on the back of a chair. Well, sir, you have a national treasure. Wow and national treasure Gee when you walked in with this I just about died Congratulations. Congratulations. I can't believe this. Okay, enough of that Two things here. Okay. I'm prop. Okay. Good for this man Easy He's he can't even he's gonna die before he can spend any of that money Well, in to me, I'd be like Already in my mind, right? I'm gonna leave my wife

I'm gonna you know, so I'm never gonna talk to my kids. I'm gonna move. I'm moving to Hawaii cocaine, right? and hookers Vegas, you know, that's what he's seeing. That's why he stopped walking. Yeah, that's what's going through But the other side of the other part of me that's like like, uh, not to sound like one of these dickheads, but It's it like a Native American but in this old white guy has it Right kid Carson though, right? Uh-huh. He's a great great great grandfather or whatever new kid Carson. Yeah, I don't know kid Carson I don't know who that is either. Yeah, I don't know. We're not good with stuff like that But like what they're saying is is that if they could prove it was kid Carson's blanket

Then it's worth like triple the the amount really. Yeah. Yeah, but I just think like how does this old white guy have like a chief An Indian a Navajo Indian chief's youth blanket. That seems like not nice Oh, you think that he stole it like his ancestors. His ancestors obviously killed Let's trade blankets, right? Right back in the day, right? Let's trade blankets, right? And the Indians like oh, okay, right? And you're like mine is way warmer than yours Yeah, yeah gave him the blanket. They all died from smallpox And this guy gets a half a million dollars a half a million bad person. Yeah, okay, you know what I take it back

Fuck that old guy Here Christopher Hudson Carson better knows as kid Carson was an American frontiersman. He was a fur trapper wilderness guide Indian firm. Yeah Wilderness got an agent and us army officer. He became a frontier legend his own life biographies new articles. So clearly Yeah, kid Carson stole this or killed someone for maybe he was friends with the Indian because it says he was he was a Native American He was an Indian agent. What does an Indian agent mean? Do you know what that is? Does that mean he Indians back then, right? They love they they want to do a lot of commercial work

Oh, he was an agent for the pictures. No for the no audition for an agent. Yeah for the pictures. Yeah. Yeah back then They probably didn't have tv, right? They didn't have tv back then. No, when did tv get started? I don't know in the 50s 60s Yeah 16 60s 16 70s Okay, so it says indian fighter Carson was 19 when he set off with ewen young's expedition rocky mountains In addition to furs and the company sold a free spirited rugged mountain men. Carson sought action and adventure He found what he's looking for in killing and scalping indians. Carson probably killed and took the scalp of his first indian He was 19. Yeah. Yeah, this guy This old man that we first saw. Yeah, is the descendant of of an indian murderer. Yeah, yeah

This is not a joyful rug story. Yeah, but what if we had a box next to him? He just had scalps We had these two in the day rock So this guy obviously was not it a notion about indians softened over the years Okay, he found himself more and more in their companies. He grew older. You have to I think you have to be well You scalp enough of them. You finally feel bad David roberts believes his marriage to an arapahoe woman named singing singing grass softened the stern and pragmatic mountainous Opportunism wait. He married a woman named singing grass dude. Well, I you always think that there's wolves in it Right like sleepy wolf or whatever. Yeah, which is joe biden. But uh, no or something like that, right?

Sleepy wolf or like, you know something like that. Yeah, but sleep. What is it singing grass? Singing grass with his white name. It is singing grass. That sounds like what Rudy's name would be. Yeah singing. No Um, uh, uh, what would it be a sharpie knife? Yeah, sharpie. Yeah, bloody knife. Yeah, something like that Her bloody knife Yeah, so oh my god Carson had several encounters look at this a black foot the group of teeth be with three indian corpse inside The three had died of smallpox this guy. Yeah, and I love how it says his uh as an indian agent He saw to those under his watch were treated with honesty and fairness. So we know that's not true, by the way

Like that's like a slave owner being like I was nice to my slaves Such bullshit the historian david robert said his marriage to his singing grass Soffin the stern and pragmatic mountainous So he married a fucking a native american woman and only then was he like that ain't so bad. Yeah Yeah, these are what we this guy clearly left his family and gave it to this guy by someone very important thing and now they're all dead and now Yours would be yelling spear yelling yelling spear yelling spear something like that yelling sun yelling sun yelling sun yelling sun with mine

um sleepy panda You would be everybody liked it in the house. Yeah, they did uh, you will have to be something with sleep You would be well, okay singing grass is pretty lazy. No. No sleep because it has to be a like, um, uh, uh sleepy or tired or restful right restful Right, you know what? You're like a you're like a a tired nugget. You're like a nugget of a tired nugget tired nugget Sleepy sleepy nugget. So sleepy nugget. Uh, screamy son or yelly son. Yeah yelling son yelling son. Yeah

Bloody knife bloody knife and what's Andres? um fancy bean He already has stays the same. Yeah. Yeah. There's another there's another antique road show that I have to tell you Oh, wait, let me tell you real fast I sat next to a guy on the plane. We're traveling somewhere. He's like, where are you going? Not at eyes I usually avoid it, but he was a nice guy and I said, oh, I'm gonna stand up

I'm actually going to wherever st. Louis for I said, what do you do and he goes? I'm on the antiques road show He's one of the presenters. Oh, wow, and I was like no shit Yeah, and rudely and I and I felt bad afterwards But I said that that's still on and I didn't mean it like oh, it's it's going stronger than I know But I didn't mean it like I just meant like where is it? I've never I haven't seen it in years except on the internet He's like, yeah, yeah, it is and he was very cool. We had a conversation. I said, what's the craziest? um Story that you've ever seen and I think it's on youtube we can look for it a man was a world war two veteran

um, and uh Uh, he was a world war two veteran and World war two and so this Uh, this man right here So the g the 1960 GMT master role. I seen this one. He goes he goes he said to me It was the craziest thing and he was that he's he was at this He was at this when it happened man right here

He kept the receipts and all the boxes and stuff like he was in Germany. Yeah a friend of a friend said about one for his dad and himself That's exactly right. Yeah, he's exactly right. That's exactly right. Yeah, and he goes. Um, his cat is his the army captain said Um, make sure you buy make sure you buy a Rolex one there because they're gonna be worth money Back then he was an army guy like that would make $150 a month I think it's got to be less than less than that and the watches were so expensive I don't even to me. I'd be like no my uh, Rolex

Look at this guy that I bought the GMT master. He's got all the receipts Yeah, I bought it in Germany in um, swybrocken Swybrocken, Germany wait, dude They showed the receipt at the beginning there. Yeah, $230 is what he paid for the Rolex Yeah, but he didn't he didn't make a lot and so to me. I'm like Look at that. Look at that thing still working. Yeah Let me show you let me let me get to the part when they tell him the price because they go through all this

It's emotional. Oh my god. It's actually the probably the sweetest thing I've ever seen in my life So look at that. He paid $230 for it said the Rolex itself was a hundred and four dollars Uh, one of them was one one oh four the one that he gave his dad was 120 And then they bought a neck chain a neck chain for a dollar sixty And two film two pornographic films Each for a dollar 95 that ended up being three dollars original two girls one cup. Yeah And this was in swybrocken, Germany Uh, and none other than hitler himself sold him the watch j j hitler. That was his name

People don't know that it wasn't at all. It was julius hitler. Adolf was his middle name So he tells him what he paid He tells him what it's worth. Hold on. Let's get to it. Yeah, and he tells him he does this thing Oh, you've got all the right stuff. You've got all the nazi paperwork Yeah, uh, he's like I got it and it's even he still got the stamp here. Maybe this is it right here dollars He just said it right five thousand dollars would be worth today between 35 and 45 thousand dollars But this watch is worth much more because you save the box and all the paperwork for it

Easily today. It's 65 to 75 thousand dollars in the market Wow Probably more than a month's pay in the military right now Wow I had no idea So look at he's getting emotional. He's so sweet from speechless If you would have told me 1500 I would have been happy That's great

There's a one that I want to show you but can I tell you something about this that I learned afterwards? He's a molesting. Yes. He molested me. No that watch Was a ute navajo chief swatch And he stole it. Yeah, what's the other one? So the other one was this lady Yeah, I guess her grandmother or great grandmother, right had a boarding house And she boarded like the first professional baseball team

But they were just kids, right? This guy's spaulding, you know, they think of the spaulding empire The the the the company that makes balls the right brother like the right brothers did planes Oh, whoever they could have been baseball players. Just watch just watch But it's like and they stayed at this house. So she has the original baseball cards the very first ones What? Yeah You just see how much what what is it 18th row show baseball cards. Yeah original. Yeah, there it is It's got to be one of the top ones. It's that one. It's that one that one. It's got to be in

1871 my great-great-grandmother had a boarding house in boston And she housed the boston baseball team. Most of them had come from Cincinnati red stockings And we're among the first To be paid to play baseball Do you know if they were paid in those days the first professional teams? Well, I know the Cincinnati reds the first Which was for a second. This is one when when the appraiser gets emotional, too This is what's good about old white people. This is the one

That they've got so much like fun little knick-knacky tidbits, you know, this is fun. Yeah, this is fun I mean, this is fun. I mean, they're terrible. That's some of them are really bad people and they hate you No She hates you. No this one. No This these types of white women. Yeah Love me. They asked me if I read Because they don't think you can no one time I was at fucking I was in columbus, Ohio And I was at a bookstore

Right and that and I was really depressed. So I bought like a Deepak Chopra book. Yeah. I was so depressed And I was standing I was sitting on the curb and I was just opening it up Right and reading and this old lady comes just like her young man Like a what what am I not supposed to be sitting here? I always get defensive. Yeah, you do. Yeah, you get nervous I stood up. I was like, well, I'm sorry. I put the cigarette out. You know what I mean? You read? I Yeah, I just you know me it's like, oh

You know, I'm so glad the youth are reading books because that's what I was raised with reading books. You know, I mean I just read, you know, uh, sun also rise for hamming me just again again You know, what a great have you read that book, right? You've never I don't know who that is Right and we just had this conversation about reading because you're well because people don't read No, but that's what I love about old white ladies like this. Some of them They talk about yarning because if you were down in Little Rock It'd have been young man. Yeah, and you'd have gone. Oh, sorry. Oh, yeah, she goes What are you doing here fella? All right

What are you doing here a little Chinese fella? But the ending of this gets how much those are So hold on. Well, guess how much they are. Well, I want to hear what she says they got paid. Oh, yeah, yeah You know the Cincinnati Reds the first $9,300 I read was the entire payroll for the baseball team at that time $9,300 for the whole team for a whole year. Yeah, that's five bucks a person. Yeah All right, let's see now all these cards went to your great-grandfather. That's how that's how he got them And they got handed down to you. They all look like that apparently he collected them and he Unfortunately cut them down. Oh, wow. So they're all look at Harry Schaefer was blind That man is blind. Yeah

God that's wild David S. Burgstahl And the thing that's special in addition to the that's the look where he looks at immigrant to get in the cage Okay, let's see how much this is worth it says it at the end usually right Mm-hmm. She gets emotional cursor to the national and american leagues So That all said You're gonna keep them in the family, right? I want to yes, okay I'm gonna value this as an archive everything here if you're going to insure it

I would insure it for at least One million dollars Are you serious? Oh my Holy smokes It is the greatest archive. I have ever had at the road show Holy smokes Yes, I better put it in a bank vault

This is very funny and yes, I am going down this path But it is always funny the old old white people have the same reaction Like antitrotor will be so better if it was a black show Oh, it would have been like the best they would have wiped As soon what they it would have been already in a box in the car Driving away. The reactions would be so much better. She goes. She goes. Oh my oh my goodness If it was if it was like an old black lady in there were like these are worth of it. She's like, oh It would have been so much more fun to watch someone like lose their shit. You would see somebody flipping in the background

She I mean, it's a million dollars and she goes. Oh my oh my Well put in a bank vault sell it Sell it. You're gonna die soon. Yeah. That is insane cocaine prostitutes like the other guy That's the first thing that that the first honestly though. Let's think about it like this You move out of your of your house now, okay? And you don't even know that when they're clearing it out They're stuffing there from the previous owners and they find something like when you're oh, you're redoing that when you're fixing the house

Yeah, which is my dream. My dream is like they rip a wall and they're like Hey, there's painting in here And you take it and they're like, dude, this is worth two to three million dollars. Oh my god What's your what's your literal first thing you're doing right away? Bobby, these were two million dollars as painting Jules Koleilik get out No, no, it would just be like, um, would you give them money? Would you ride away? Would your first stop be like, I'm gonna break? No, nothing, right? Okay, smart. No, not a dime. They would get

We'd take a vacation though. Where? Anywhere they would want I would say just anywhere you guys want to go. Let's go. Would you do like private? What do you mean? Did you fly private or you still do commercial first class before commercial right still commercial? I have a dream of winning a lot of money. Yeah And flying my whole family private somewhere But me being on another plane Yeah Like putting them on one and then putting me on one. Well, I see I used to do that

I got a girl broke up with me kind of because when we would fly Out she would be in the coach. You put her in coach. You're such a dick Yeah, and the best is when your girlfriend you're in first class and they have to walk by I know it's my favorite Why would you put her in coach? Because I think the couple of times that did they only had one first class But a bunch of coach. What about the other times? What what about the other times you did it? No, those are the only two couple times. I've done it. Oh, they only had one first class eight

Yeah, yeah, I only had one like it's either sitting coach with my girl and I would look at her and I go It was her name was christine. I'd go I'm just gonna get the first one the one first class She'd be like what you don't even need the extra leg room I know I just I just need it But you why luxury? Yeah Yeah But you never offered it to her then there was only one available correct between you and her you never offered it to her once

Is she on stage performing? I don't think she is Okay, let's cut to right now. Yeah calyla and you You're flying to new york. It's a long flight Mr. Lee in this situation. Mr. Lee. We're gonna refund you. You're at the desk. Mr. Lee Look this we are so embarrassed, but we've overbooked We have one one ticket in first class. Yeah, the other one is in the 38th row by the bathroom And it's actually bathroom two babies And on the other side is broken seat and that's the jumper seat for the flight attendant

So those two seats. What would you like us to do? Is the only flight we got to new york? This is it So well what I would immediately do is going into a go into a false routine in terms of like I would faint Sickness right. Mr. Lee. We've seen this before we need you to know to the calyla. Oh, I don't feel good She's like, what do you mean? I don't know. I think I need my my medication. Oh, let's get your meds. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Where is it? Oh, yeah, I still

Yeah, you know, you can take it sweetie Oh, you'd say that yeah to her, but I would also faint right, you know, I mean, so you'd put it on Yeah, I would put on like I feel dizzy and she's like, no, no, you go ahead. Yeah. And then do you say? Yeah. Yeah, okay Like right away No, are you sure none of that? No, no Really, I would offer it to her first. Yeah, right. And then you know, I mean faint sickness of some sort And then when she gave it back to me, I would take it right away Bobby, what would you do?

If me and the old lady were flying somewhere Yeah, and they had to I would let her sit in the first class and I and that's what I offered it No, I would offer it first. But you knew you were playing the game to get out of it. Right? You have to you know, you have to fight for your right Okay, you have to fight for your right to take first class. No, you have to do it in a silver sway Right, because I'm silverless. I'm a man. You are silverless. Yeah. Yeah. And um, so I would have to put up that front Sure, right, but I always also have to you know, I mean

Play the card. I had to play my card too Play my hand, right, right? Because you're like, I'm a performer. I need the rest. You're doing that thing Even if we're going on a regular vacation Just to go rest more. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So it would because there's no harm in that. I agree, right? By the way, I'm giving you the option. Maybe she doesn't even care. Some people don't she cares. Yeah Do your feet touch the ground when you're all the way back in a seat? I just I see your feet like swinging like a little kid on a toilet Have you ever flown private be real? No, but never

You know who else hasn't who me. Yeah, I will I refuse to do it No, if somebody else offers it to me, I would do it. No, I don't know because buddy holly What happened? I think he died He died. Yeah, buddy. Holly and richie valens died in the big hopper Who else who else died private? In a private plane gfk No, that's junior. Yes, that one did. Yeah, the other one got his head fell off Well, half of it was there everything about that we talked about this the other day for some reason

She's scooping his head back into it. I mean, I what would you that to me? Once that happened as someone who plays warzone warzone. Yeah, did you ever watch the footage and be like that's a good shot? Kill shot Headshot. Yeah. Yeah, that's insanely far. It's insane. That's crazy. I mean there was two shooters. Yeah, yeah But I just imagined scooping your how your loved one's head. Yeah, like imagine scooping klila's head back into her brain Right, and then after that it's like That's it. That's that's it life is completely Dark, I mean, how could you be anything else? I mean, I I don't know if you see you the are you laughing?

Yeah, you are. Oh my god. It's dark. She doesn't even know. Do you know who jfk was? Um, the president. He was the archaeologist. He was the famous famous american arca Do you know we're talking about he got shot? You know that right? He got his head got shot and killed and yeah Can I see the video? Oh my goodness one. Are you being fucking? Yeah, I'm curious. Do you know what you want to show? You know, it's probably not on youtube Do you know what you need to show her is this a pruder film? Yeah, you know what that is Do you know do you know do you know about any of this stuff? There's conspiracy that jfk was um

That was there was two people two separate gunshots Here's there's a pruder film there. You got to watch the whole thing. I can't really scan through it. Yeah No, well, this is look this is a this is a kind of an example of uh, look at the bullet goes through Down and away down in a way. You need to really watch uh, this this is the shot. Look at how beautiful that shot was Yeah, that he his head got shot in that car in that car right there next to his wife. It happened in hüster dallis, right? in Dallas, why do I want I thought dallis then you said houston and I thought I was wrong. Yeah, I think dallis Was dallis right fancy. Yeah, yeah

And um to saddest it was so sad right out right there. They're having a great time Yeah, maybe three minutes after that. It was the worst time. You ever think about what's the last thing he said right before he got shot? Yeah It's hot. It's hot out here. It's hot out here. How long is this ride? He's italian suits, you know, what if he said something racist right before he got shot? Yeah, he's like these guinea wops can't make a suit for shit Wow It's you need to watch that you need to you need to do a research about that

You'll find out some crazy stuff and you'll be getting a conspiracy depths very dark. I want to end this on a happy note I'm serious. Yeah I love that we can talk And laugh and then apologize for our mistakes. Yeah, and it means a lot to me. Yeah, I'm sorry. I hate you in this It still hurts. Bob. I said, I'm sorry I'm just I'm just being genuinely. I love you and I love you too, but I'm sorry. I'm falling pain But look at me. I'm sorry. You're welcome. No. No, you don't say you're welcome. How do you say it? You just say I hear it. You can say thanks. Here you hear it. Thanks. Thank you

You mean a lot to me Hey, hey, shut up turn the music down. Look at me real fast I love you I love you too Okay, thank you for being a bad friend