Bad Friends - Santino turns 43? w/ Funny Marco

Episode Date: October 20, 2025

Get MORE Bad Friends at our Patreon!! https://www.patreon.com/c/badfriends Thank you to our Sponsors: Factor, Displate, Ridge Wallet & Draft Kings • Factor: Eat smart at https://FactorMeals.com/badfriends50off and use code badfriends50off to get 50% off your first box, plus Free Breakfast for 1 Year. • Displate: For the next 24 hours, all Displates are 40% off, no matter the number, size, or finish. Make sure to act fast, because this type of offer doesn’t last forever. https://displate.com/l/badfriends • Ridge Wallet: One thing to pack, five ways to power! Get 10% Off @Ridge with code BAD at https://ridge.com/BAD #Ridgepod • Draft Kings*: Download the DraftKings Sports book app and use code BADFRIENDS. 0:00 Kneecap Balaclava 5:00 Bishop Santino 10:00 Darkness Retreat 15:00 Anechoic Chamber 20:00 Korean Funerals 25:00 Samoan Dodgeball 30:00 Street Knowledge 35:00 Super Soaker Money 40:00 Do You Like The Jiggle? 45:00 Steve Harvey Motivation 50:00 Bobby's Game is Tight 55:00 You Think I'm Ken Jeong? 1:00:00 Harry and the Hendersons 1:05:00 Special Attention 1:10:00 Panda Express More Bobby Lee TigerBelly: https://www.youtube.com/tigerbelly Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bobbyleelive Twitter: https://twitter.com/bobbyleelive Tickets: https://bobbylee.live More Andrew Santino Whiskey Ginger: https://www.youtube.com/andrewsantinowhiskeyginger Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino Twitter: https://Twitter.com/cheetosantino Tickets: http://www.andrewsantino.com More Fancy SOS VHS: https://www.youtube.com/@7equis Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/fancyb.1 More Bad Friends iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-friends/id1496265971 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/badfriendspod/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/badfriends_pod Official Website: http://badfriendspod.com/ *Gambling problem? Call one eight hundred Gambler. In New York, call eight seven seven eight HOPENY or text HOPENY (four six seven three six nine). In Connecticut, Help is available for problem gambling. Call eight eight eight seven eight nine seven seven seven seven or visit ccpg dot org. Please play responsibly. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino & Resort (Kansas). Pass-thru of per wager tax may apply in Illinois. Twenty-one plus age and eligibility varies by jurisdiction. Void in Ontario. Restrictions apply. Bet must win to receive Bonus Bets which expire in 7 days. Minimum odds required. NBA League Pass auto-renews until cancelled. Additional terms at D K N G dot co slash audio. Limited time offer. Opening Credits and Branding: https://www.instagram.com/joseph_faria & https://www.instagram.com/jenna_sunday Credit Sequence Music: http://bit.ly/RocomMusic // https://www.instagram.com/rocom Character Design: https://www.instagram.com/jeffreymyles Bad Friends Mosaic Sign: https://www.instagram.com/tedmunzmosaicart Produced by: 7EQUIS https://www.7equis.com/ Podcast Producer: Andrés Rosende This video contains paid promotion. #bobbylee #andrewsantino #badfriends #sponsored #ad Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Is it the matcha, or am I this energized from scoring three Sephora holiday gift sets? Definitely the sets. Full size and minis bundled together? What a steal. And that packaging? So cute. It practically wraps itself. And I know I should be giving them away, but I'm keeping the Summer Fridays and Rare Beauty by Selena Gomez. I don't blame you. The best holiday beauty sets are only at Sephora. Gift sets from Summer Fridays, Rare Beauty, Way, and more are going fast.

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43, I'm 42. This is wrong. And oh my god, look at this guy. Upta Ra. He's got his kneecap, uh, kneecap balaclava on. Balaclava. That's pretty cool, man. I just had to teach Carlos how to say that word.

He couldn't do it. I like that you're covering your face. Baclava? Balaclava. No, balaclava. A baklava is... I love baclavas. It's so good. I love the Greek dessert.

And also give it up for the return. We haven't seen him in a long time of Richard. I had to worris him to come here. I was at seven eckies today. I saw Richie just, you know, I don't know what he does there, but he was just kind of wandering around and I go, you got to come back to bad friends. He's like, well, if George allows me.

George doesn't own you. You can do whatever you want. Well, I... He took his passport, so... Yeah. I take my orders for seven eckies. I mean, my loyalty's to Andres, to be honest. Your loyalty is not to us?

Well, no, but it's too Andres. Without us, no Sevenakis. That's right. Without Andre's not, it crumbles. What? Without him, no me. Yeah, but without us, no Andres. Hey, man, it all comes back to us.

Okay. Well, today is, what a glorious day, because our pal here, you know, the Paul Simon of the group. No, I'm the Garfunck. No. I'm the Garfunco. Are they both still a line? Yeah, they are. Well, then we're, you know what, you know who we are?

If we were Motley crew, that's right. You're Tommy. For sure, Tommy. And who am I? I don't know. I'm the roadie. You're the roadie, dude. Loading it in.

Just loading in, that's all I do. I'm loading it in, loading it out. Is Nikki Six in it? Yeah, Nikki Six. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're Nicky Six. I'm Nicky Five. Okay.

You're Nicky 43. Johnny Five, stay alive. You know, I rewatch Blow last night, by the way. Yeah, never one of the best movies. Never seen it. What? Yeah. Please watch it.

Is cocaine driven? Yo, yeah. Yeah. You had the wrong dream, George. Yeah. Who's in Blow? Johnny Depp and Penelope Cruz. It made me forget how dope Penelope Cruz was.

It reminded me, I'm sorry. She's unbelievable. Anyway, I was having a speech prepared. Oh, I'm sorry. Give a speech. Yeah, yeah. Sorry. Our honey baby here.

What a voyage and what a journey. And what a adventure that you've, been on for 42 years yeah from the projects from yeah from the bottom from the Chicago projects from the hood yeah to elite status no good man good man yeah um athlete athletic yeah yeah comrade yeah um destroyer yeah and healer i'll do both yeah yeah i like that uh Cambodian freedom fighter CFF yeah that's right dude and you know um you mean so much to me you're one of my best friends in the whole world and you know we've had our differences

oh yeah big differences big differences big differences but we've had our moments as well I think that's what makes a good friendship exactly and so why don't we give my comrade here a happy birthday I like it I'm really enjoying it a happy birthday

you know right so um I'm gonna hurry McCone what the fuck are you doing man he's always slow Yeah, anyway. Always slow on the upswing, that kid. He's the binder, the creator. Trapper keeper?

No, fill time. I like it. No, you're good at this. You can fill time. Yeah, you float distance. You do. Hell yeah. You float distance.

Hell yeah. And you create havoc within two means. And the two means are two buttons. The two buttons are life. Yeah, baby. McCone, McCone. He's the order. You're the order.

You're the order of all. Oh, here's the order and you're the chaos. Yeah. But, you know, you'd be the headsmith in some village. I'll tell you that right now. Really? Yeah. Where do you get the best axes?

Andrew. You know what do you get? You know what I mean? The clogs for the horses. I don't know what you call them. No, yeah, they were clogs. Stirrups, dude. You go to Andrew, right?

I'm the, I churn butter in that village. But I come to you for the arrows. I don't know what else do they do? You're doing good. You know, and you're locksmith as well. I fix everything. You can break into houses as well. Really?

Yeah, dude. You make the best lockspicks in the village. The best lockspicks in the whole village. Yeah. And the wizard? The wizard that lives there. Avaz? Your best friend.

I'm friends with the wizard. Yeah, you're friends with the wizard. Wow. You're friends with the ladies that sing the songs in the church. The sirens. The sirens. The sirens. Yeah.

That's you. So I'm important to the village. You're important to it all. Yeah. Yeah, and guess what? Guess what? You're going to be mayor of this village. And then the emperor,

he sees your good deeds and your good works. Thank you, sir. And he promotes you. Two? Clergy. I'm now part of the clergy. I feel like that's down, clergymen. But you move up.

I move it up. Yeah, yeah. I elect a move it up. The bishop is very three. Happy birthday, thank God. But to you, happy birthday, dear Andrew. Thank you. Happy birthday to you.

Woo! So much more. Yes. Success! What is this? Tiram Sousou. Oh, it's my favorite. Let's get the gifts out.

It's my favorite thing. The gift out. Oh, my God. Do I love Tiram Sousou? Thank you so much. Nice. This is the best Hiramisu in Los Angeles, as they say. Is that true, fancy?

Yep. Bishop Santino. Yes, my son. You were once a Smith. I was once a Smith. Defeated the wizard in the old Battle of Ages. You created axes and swords and horse clogs. You mean, best Smith in the business.

Thank you. And you were clergy. You moved yourself up to Bishop. Thank you. And we would like to say, happy birthday to you, my, my bishop. Thank you. Wow. My lord. An envelope.

An envelope. Inside is a card with a little golf club. Exactly. This is from Tacomo Spa. Mm-hmm. Wow. Happy birthday from your pals of bad friends. Bobby Carlos Fancy McCone and sometimes Rudy.

And this is to the spa. This is incredible. It's incredible. Thank you so very much. You deserve it, Bishop. I would like a little spa. And this says, McCone, much love. Carlos love ya.

Happy birthday from Richie, Felice Copleanos, Hefe, El Hefe. Am I El Hefe? Did Richie sign it? And this is beautiful. Richie didn't, and I got to tell you, happy he didn't. I don't want his signature. Happy birthday, pal. Thank you, I love you.

And I have to say. This is all I want. Just a little massage, a little spa time for the kid. I have some things coming. I know you do. You're the best gift giver. Yeah, I'm the best gift giver. So, anyway, well, hurrah, hurrah.

Hurrah, hurrah. Hurrah, hurrah. Happy birthday. My favorite thing about our birthdays going back to back like this is that the whole episode is about your birthday and mine is less than two minutes.

Mine is literally... No, no, hurrah, hurrah! There are more. Yeah, yeah. He's bored already. Bravo. Mm, good church, much, okay, I'm glad you. You know...

McCown, take this one. Let me reflect on birthdays real fast. Yeah. We don't give a shit. Thank you. Exactly. Yeah. It is a very good tourism.

It's phenomenal. What's the name of the place? Giovannis. Giovannis. Very nice. A good birthday it will be. You know what, you want to know where I'm doing for my birthday?

I'd like to know, Bishop, please. I'm going to, of all places, Albuquerque, to go see the Hot Air Balloon Festival and go in a Hot Air Balloon. Have you ever seen this? No, but be careful. Yeah. It's one of the most beautiful events, I think I've ever seen.

Donum buckle. Look at how pretty that is. What'd you say? What'd you say? What'd you say? What'd you say? Donumbuckle. Don, I'm back.

Don, I'm back. I'm back. Okay. But it's beautiful. It's right. It's early in the morning. You go at dawn and you see all the balloons arise. Have you really done this before? I'm about to go do this.

You've never done it before. No, I'm going to go do this. But it looks incredible. Hundreds of balloons in the sky. Yeah. You're not scared at all. Why would I be? Do you have a high quality balloon?

We got a mid-level. Okay, okay, okay. A mid-level balloon. Yeah. He was on discount. Now, how does that work? Let's bring up some accident. There we go.

That's you. That's me. Yeah. Now, if that happens, what would you do? 2025 Santa Catarina hot air balloon crashed June 21st. Hot air balloon caught fire crashed. Okay. Yeah.

Look inward. Killing eight of the 21 people. Come on. That's not bad. Good chance. I think I'd be one of the others. Don't you think? Five non-fatal.

I don't know. Non-fatal. So they, okay, so honestly, yeah. A couple people got dinged. 2013, Luxor, hot air, balloon crash. All right. So that's been a long time. So, you know what?

In 2013, that's a long time to 2025. They were due. Yeah. And they got it out of the way this year. Yeah, what's the old school one from the black and white? What was that called again? The Hindenberg. The Hindenberg.

The Hindenberg. I hate to tell you. That was not the hot air balloon. Yeah. How many people died on the Hindenberg? Hindenberg. Hindenberg. The Hindenberg was down in May 6, 1937, Manchester.

36 deaths. Let me guess. All white. All white. All white. Yeah. All white. Yeah. Well, you know what that thing was filled with, right?

what black sadness black sadden what is what is that can i just precaution i'm ready to go no precaution i'm 42 this says 43 i'm ready to go yeah is it couldn't even get that right mccone you've stayed at my house it wasn't mccone who was it it was me yeah you think i'm 43 i heard you say 42 exactly that's you did say the other day i am 42 because it's my birthday i see yeah 41 pretty good wow what incredible you don't have looking forward to? What? 43. Yeah.

Yeah, looking forward to 43. You're looking forward to 43. Yeah. Now, in this, may I ask? Upcoming year, what do you expect here? 42. What do I expect that in my 43s? Yeah, what are some goals?

The bad friends animated show to get lifted off the ground so we can finally start making that masterpiece. Yeah, bad friends animated. Yeah. I'm excited to start touring again and doing new material, scared out of my mind. I'm excited for the Bobby Lee stand-up special taping. Very excited for that. And I'm more excited to take the entire summer off next year.

No shows, no podcast, no nothing. I'm gone for three and a half months. Where are you going? I'm turning off my phone and I'm disappearing. Okay. That might interfere with work. Doesn't matter to me. Yeah.

Yeah, this is all working. Well, we'll have to backlog. No. Okay, well, then are we done? You've got to get a new host, a co-host. Okay. Now you're excited. Taylor Williamson.

I don't know who else. He's the only one available. Taylor Williamson. He is great. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you know, I too want to have a, I want to do a, what do you call it, when you go dark in a cave.

A little sadness retreat? No, no, yeah, no, a darkness retreat. Yeah. Have you seen those? I want to do that. I would love to try the one you and I, we should go together to try to do the one where you don't speak for five days.

Yeah. I'd love that. Fucking impossible. Yeah. You don't talk for five. Neil Brennan did it, I think. Yeah. You voluntarily go to this thing and you don't talk.

And all of L.A. was relieved. You go there for five. Love you, Neil. We love you, Neil. We love you, Neil. Darkness retreats near Los Angeles. Within the ultimate darkness retreat. Look what they look like.

Is there an image is my friend? Well, there's one in Malibu, but you know, you'd come home at night. You know that you wouldn't last. Yeah. You don't think so? You and I would never last. You know, you know, You know what I would do a darkness retreat if there was a competition?

Yes. Well, we could make it a competition. Yeah, yeah. Because they don't have... Who taps out first? They don't have Sukum and ramen out there. Yeah. I'm sure you're eating tofu bowls and stuff and...

I just think that it would be... I just want to know what it's like. Just to feel it. Yeah, to feel it. It's kind of like when you try to go vegan or something. Oh, there's another thing... Have we talked about this? There's another thing that I want to do,

which is go to that room with no sound. Oh god The not hyperbaric chamber Is that what it's called? There's a room with no sound And people can only last an hour Or they go crazy That one right there

What's it called? And how do you say that? Any choic chamber? Yeah and a lot of YouTubers and viral people get to go I want to make a proposition Is there any way bad friends Can go visit this room

Because I'm just so curious I'll be a great episode But you can only go for a short amount of time Because people go crazy don't get Yeah within 15, 20 minutes People start seeing things and they start hearing their veins. That's cool. Yeah.

So I sat in something, not this level, but I sat in something like this in Hobart. They had a museum, and in the museum they had something as close as they could, but you can hear your own heartbeat. It is very weird. Yeah. I did not like it at all. Yeah. Like your brain, and this one isn't even like this. This was like a low down version of this.

But that thing scares me. See, even the look of it's scary. Honestly, Carlos, be real. Try to make this happen. Okay, okay, okay. I'm really scared of it. I'm not going to lie. I know.

If you do 15 minutes, you do 15 minutes. I'm not going to laugh at you. 15? Yeah. I'm doing two. Yeah. I think I can do an hour. No chance.

Oh, yeah. What's the longest someone's been in one of these? How do you even say an hour and a half? I think an hour and a half. Everybody take a guess on how you say that. Yeah. Anychoic, anechoic chamber? Anechoic chamber?

Yeah. And a cowic chamber? Yeah. How long has someone been in there? What's the longest anyone's been in there? The longest person has stayed in there is Raymond, Microsoft Redmond campus, 55 minutes. Wow.

Wow. 45 minutes in another lab. YouTube's Calix one hour and 26 minutes in the London chamber. Yeah. These durations are challenged by the disorienting effects of the profound silence. Sensory deprivation, hallucinations,

increased awareness of internal body sounds like heart beats and breathing. See, what if you had a heart attack in there could you hear your heart? Well, there's video camera. Look at this, man who broke the record for time spent in the world's quietest room reported experiencing

several hallucinations yeah see I just 32 year old is allowed to speak he spoke for one minute every five minutes to keep sound levels below 25 decibels so he would just talk to himself

no no no I saw the video because it's on video so you can every minute every five minutes he would talk for a minute and he would tell people what was going on it looks like a horror film look at that

I know we gotta do it what's the point of this well you they say you you like clear your brain you reconnect But you also like hallucinate and stuff. Yeah, yeah. He said it sounds like someone's dragging a trolley across my ear.

It feels like seconds are going slower while I talk. And the trolley in your ears, you can hear your blood vessels in your ear. Yeah, we've got to try it, dude. It's the hardest five minutes he's ever done, he said. He felt like he was going crazy. Wow. I'm so curious. See, but if you have any, if you have any, if you're prone to panic attacks or claustrophobia,

this is going to kill you. What? Yeah, I have panic attacks sometimes. Oh, then I'll do it. Okay, I'll watch it. Yeah, yeah. You'll watch, though? Oh, yeah, yeah.

I'm going to cuck you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going to cuck this. Yeah. That is creepy to think about. We're going to try it. I'm down to do it. We got to go to London.

Is there one in Los Angeles? I think there's one in Minnesota. Anasoic chamber. Oh, the UCLA physics department has one. Research purposes requiring a professor's sponsorship for access. UC Irvine also has one. We could try. Let's give it a go.

Are you prepped and ready for your special taping? No, I'm not. You're coming up on it, babe. I know. That's why I booked a bunch of shows, so I'm going to just try to bang it out. You know, at this point, it's like, I have what I have.

I can't change what I'm not, what I am. You can keep manipulating it and piecing it. We are trying, but it's like, I have what I have. You know what I mean? I'm just going to do what I'm going to do.

And if they said, don't ever do another one, then I'm not going to do one. Then don't do another one. Yeah, yeah. Right. But I think it's going to be fine. I think it's going to be wonderful.

Yeah, yeah. I like some of my jokes. And I'm a performer. It'll be fine. what's so funny I mean when you see me before I don't bomb never bomb right

I do well right yeah okay good you think it's gonna go well who in the room in the back I'm not allowed there so I have no opinion yeah you're coming you told me I was

I was kidding of course I need you to be there what do you think I think it's gonna go great okay what about you Andres absolutely okay Carlos be real I think any hint of it not going well

you'll just hop on a joke that works so it can't not go well It can't not go well How much time do you have? I have 40 40's all you need What are you going for? I have a musical number

and some other things Yes, it'll feel like that But I'm also working on another 10 So let's see what happens A musical number, I like that Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna play the piano and sing Live at the Yellow Onion Anyway

Let's bring in our guest, we should Ladies and gentlemen It's Funny Marco! Thank you, ladies and gentlemen Factor. Fall always feels like a reset between back to school, busier routines, and shorter days. Finding time to cook can be tough, man.

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Yeah it's my birthday This is my birthday episode So they're selling because I'm Irish This is my Oh I'm turning How old do you think I am? In what?

Like in year, human years How old are you just looking at me Well I just learned that Theo Vaz is 56 No no no He's 45 He's 45 I didn't know that

But Burke Kreischer told me that you thought he was 29. Yeah, I thought he was young. Yeah. So how old am I? I'm going to say 43. Okay. Very good. What about me?

Marco, what about me, Marco? Do you have age? Asians, we do age. Oh, I didn't know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I didn't know, like, you always look good. Yeah, yeah. Let me ask you this.

What kind of Asian am I? This is a fun game. A beautiful one? Yeah. No, no, no. Listen, Marco? Can I call you Marco? Yeah.

Right. I'm not one of those Asians that get offended. Yeah, you can say... Throw it out there. No, no, no. It's like... What's my fucking... What kind of Asian?

I say, like, the one off a hangover? Yeah! The one off of hangover. He's writing stuff down. Yeah, I'm writing stuff up today, so don't forget. Okay? Hangover. And also, how old am I, Marco?

Oh. You don't age. I know I don't. Like, if you put up a baby picture, you probably still look the same. Yeah, yeah. Put it up. Like, come. Put a gas up.

There's Bobby's a baby. He looks the same. And his dad right there, his dad in that photo, is 94. Yeah. So no guess? I'm going to say 36. Wow, thank you. Oh, that's offensive as fuck.

That's offensive as fuck. I look younger than Andrew. God, that hurts. That hurts. I'm 54 years old. Are you serious? Yeah, yeah. How do you feel like?

What do your dad look like? He's dead. He's dead. Oh, he is. Yeah, yeah. He looks like that. Wow. I never, okay, so what is, um, what is your culture again?

Korean. Korean. Yeah. How are Korean? How, I want to say it back. It's only polite. Anyong hazeo. Okay.

How are the funerals? Can you break it down? I've never been no one before. This what? Oh. Oh, he's asking you, how are you today? I'm doing good. Oh.

Yeah. Oh, she saw you. Yeah. I got subtitles. For the audience, yeah. Okay. Well, he asked about how your funerals are. Well, we love black funerals.

We've talked about on this show. They're probably the best thing in the world. Yeah, they are. Have you been to one of those where they prop them up and they, like, play with them? I didn't do that one. That's the craziest shit I've ever seen in my life. Well, Asian funerals, we're quiet people. Right, so we go.

Everybody does that the same thing. Yeah. Does it nobody cries? That's not to be crying. I have smaller tear ducks So nothing really comes out Yeah, smaller eyes How you been in one?

To a Korean funeral? No, you know, he invited me to one But I couldn't go But I do want to go Because it does look like a party This looks like a party Because he lost his ghee I lost my ghee

He lost his ghee That's an African funeral With the they're encased in there And that's a celebration Yeah She was a mermaid While she was alive Funny Marco, you think there are black mermaids

I wouldn't know what a I feel like a mermaid would just be a no race just nothing Oh it's a nothing race I'll say that to her That's the new little mermaid so Yeah She would disagree

Yeah I just feel like it would be like see-thru Oh like jellyfish Yeah Oh translucent I see Right But would you hook up with a mermaid you think No no no What mermaids do have

They have they have whole They have whole Mermaid have hole They are real They are real Yeah yeah Absolutely They've only caught three

One alive Yeah That's the hole There it is It's like a little diamond You can fit in there Yeah I'm glad you're here

Where you're like Oh wow yeah No No I was contemplating that And I Yeah you're right I could fit in there Yeah I could

Do you know why I have a small penis Oh I wouldn't caught like No, my penis is fine. Yeah, it's good. It's getting you somewhere. Everybody likes something, you know?

So I feel like it can be big to somebody. You know? Yeah, for a little dwarf. If that's what you like. That's what you like. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you in a relationship? No, well, I'm just hanging out.

Who does that mean? I mean, I feel like relationships are just like, you know, relationships. I feel like they just, they're there, you know? Yeah. I feel like married. You're playing the field. Yeah, I feel like, yeah, until you get. get married, it's like, you know, hanging out.

Until you're married, you're just, you're doing your thing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Are you married? I'm married, he's not. I'm not. He's single, he's ready. You want to go on the town?

What do you think was taking you so long? What does that mean? Well, you're 54, he knows, and so he's asking. You know, I've been in long-term relationships. They haven't worked out. And then now I'm back on the prowl. Uh-huh. Yeah. You can do that.

So what do you meet your girls at? Or what you like? Oh, really? At the dojo. Is that what you're saying? I don't know what the fuck you're saying Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah No, no, yeah

Like on the app Yeah, yeah Can I, can we see how you DM girls? Well, let me call the emperor And see if the gaseas are available What the fuck you're talking about, man? Which part? He wants to see your game, show him

He wants to know that you have I'm on a dating app called Raya Can you show us like how you got a girl How it goes, a thread That you comfortable with? Yeah, show a thread What do you mean the thread? To read us what they're talking to a girl

Like and get her number How do you get? Are you don't, you're not on the apps Yeah, on Instagram, usually I make sure that they're single by watching their stories. That helps. Yeah. I got one. Okay.

Can he explain how he gets called? He's in, we got to take this right now before you go. What is it? No, no, I can do it. I can later. Okay. And then always watch their story and start a conversation, never going like you want to talk to them. What's your first line?

It depends on what they post on a story that day. Okay. Okay, I'm, I've got, I mean, Ibiza. No, what, no. Abiza with the girls. You know. I'm playing dodge ball with a Samoan.

I'm playing dodge ball with Samoan, right? He's yank back, right? And I'm going, like, don't hit me, right? So what's that opening line? He's not interested about him. She's a haughty, she's a hottie, but she's playing dodgeball with Samoans. How old is she? She's at 10, but she's playing dodgeball.

27 years old, dog. Big titties, Brazilian ass, everything. Right? So she's like, born a woman, right? What? She's born a woman? Who cares? You'll have to find out. Does it matter? You're going to have to find out. She has the right parts now. Okay.

She got the op. I'll probably pass it to you if you like. No, okay, she's, she's born a woman. She is a woman. She identifies as a woman. She's just playing dodgeball with Samoans. Yeah, I just don't get, I wouldn't be in that role. Right. What you do it's an Instagram post Oh yeah

It's and then they post that How did the game go How did the game that's good Fuck Yeah Finally you said it like it was live You didn't say it was a pitcher All right so

I was just give him a scenario I'll respond Yeah yeah yeah right Now I like it I think it's smart How do the game go And the girl responds We lost

Can you help me I'm down What do you say? Down as There's a lot of double entendre's happening. We lost. Can you help me? I'm down. Yeah, I'm down. What is you really? What's the next thing you say? I don't know. Then I was like when the next time y'all play and I'll let her come and play with you guys. Yeah. You hear what you're saying? Yeah, that's fine. Come play with you guys. Yeah. Okay. I actually used to date

Samoan. I let her know. I better understand them. I mean. Oh, you understand their technique? Yeah. Based on the way, because you dated one? Yeah. You know Samoan dodgeball technique? Yeah. Based on the dates. Yeah. That you've been on. That's insane. Okay. They're family-oriented. So you got to, like, watch out. Like, you can't get too rough, you know, because they're together. It's a family. Does Samoan's genitals smell different? I didn't get that far.

Right. My first girlfriend and I didn't take her virginity and she thought something was wrong with me, but I just wasn't ready. Good for you. What's your favorite flavor then of girl? I feel like anybody that love their self. Beautiful answer. But we're talking about flavors.

It varies. Yeah. Yeah, I got like, can I throw out some flavors? I didn't date all the time. Kianti. Yeah. Kianti. Yeah.

Like that flavor? Who's Kianti? It's a flavor. Kante sound like a black girl. It does, yeah, that does. How about hazelnut? That's a white girl. That's a guy.

That's a guy? Yeah. Because of the nut? Yeah. How about Chartreuse? Sharks. Sound like another guy. Sounds like a guy.

Yeah. Let's give him Rocky Road. Another guy. Okay. Oh, Rose. Rose. That sounds like an older woman. Okay, lavender.

Yes, I like that. Lavender Vaj? Older woman that you can. Okay. She, you know, look for you and put you to bed. Cook for you, put you to bed. What about Rosemary? How is she?

Rosemary, an older lady too. Yeah, she's much older. Yeah. Would you date an older woman? Yeah. What are we talking as the ceiling? If they got like some, you know, something that they're going to leave behind, I'd definitely stay.

Sarah Huckabee Sanders, bring her up, please? Bring her up. Yeah, would you date Sarah Huckabee Sanders. Because she did hear you were coming on the show, and was interested in talking to you. I don't think she'll like me. And when you say you or anybody like you. Yeah, yeah, there she has with her three children.

Right? Yeah, she wouldn't like me. Yeah, okay. Yeah, she has no black kids. Okay. Well, let's give her one. No, I just think she already got what she liked, you know? She got what she's like.

And you got to respect it. Do you have any kids? Yeah, I got kids. How many kids? I got three kids. Three? Yeah. Boy, boy, girl.

I got two girls, one boy. Other way, yeah. Whoa. Beautiful. How old is the oldest one? Twelve. She's mixed. So her mom is white and black and then I got me a black baby

and I have a Mexican baby. Oh, you have different mamas? Yeah, not an Asian. Three mammas, okay. Let's get you an Asian. Three mamas, okay. Is your mom alive? She is?

And mama love? Yeah. What is that some sort of terminology? I'm not aware of. Mama love? He said, is your mother alive? Oh, she's alive, yeah. Yeah, is she single?

She is single, actually. What, what, stop, stop? You got an Instagram? No, she doesn't have an Instagram. I don't like the line of. She does TikTok. But did your mom have an Instagram? Um, mine, no, she don't.

Would she like me? Why? She liked people that's like, you know. Excuse me? She's like people that have been through shit. Oh, I've been through a fire. He's actually been through a lot. The fire, electrocuted.

He's been shot at. He's been shot at. In a movie or like real life? No, in real life, dude. What was that like? Yeah, I've been hit by a mallet. But if you was to get shot at and you know who did it, would you tell?

Oh, I like this. This is a street night. Are you a snitch? Are you a street line? I love it. See that again? If you know who shot at you and you could tell, would you? No, homie, because I'm not a snitch.

So you want to keep them out there to shoot at other people? I would snitch. Yeah. No, I wouldn't snitch. But guess what, dude? They'll get their day. Oh. Yeah.

I'll rip their ass all. Yeah. Oh, okay. I'll rip it. I'll rip it. Have you been shot at? No. Who's shooting you?

You're so lovable. I would, no, I'll say, that's what my mama likes. mama like, she like got to get shot at. Wow, wow. Every man she's been with has been shot? Yes. That's a prerequisite for your mother. Yeah. What a dating app. Yeah.

Has she been shot? No, she haven't. Oh, good. Well, she keeps hanging out with guys that do it, might. No, she's staying in the house though. My mom's like, okay, I got it. I got it. She stays in the house and she likes guys that are in the streets.

Where does she live? In Kansas City. Okay, C. That's where you're from. Yeah. You don't live there now, though? No, I don't. Where do you live now? It's bad.

I live in Atlanta. Wait, what do you mean it's bad? like it's, the crime rate is bad. It's bad. Really? Yeah. How's Atlanta, though? Isn't Atlanta up and down too?

It's so big, like you can, like, go to far. Yeah, you can get away from it. Yeah, you can get away from it. Casey, Casey, Mo. Okay. I got a question for y'all. Go ahead. What do you say, like, you know, how would you compare,

what would you say about your success right now? What do you feel like you haven't done yet that you want to do, both of y'all? What haven't we done that we'd like to do? I mean, solo, not. together. Oh, well, we don't do much separate. We're one unit. You know, I'll be honest with you. I've done everything I've dreamt of doing. I've been in movies. I've been serious regular on TV shows. I've done stand-up on TV. I've, uh, tour. I'm about to go up in a hot air balloon for the first time.

And I hope it doesn't crash. Okay. Would you go up in a hot air balloon? I would. You would? Yeah. Good. Would you skydive? Yeah. You would. Would you? Would. Would you? Would. Would you bungee jump? I don't like that. You don't like that one? I just tried the indoor, you know, sky dang, and it was a lot for me. You didn't like that. No, need.

Yeah. It didn't feel good. What's going on, man? He's sick. My allergies. I think you're sick. We're going to get sick. I'm telling you.

I think you're getting sick. Could you just be honest? I'm sorry. No, okay. So black. You're right, you're right. Yeah, yeah. Black people have allergies.

Wait a minute. White people invented allergies. Yeah, they invented it. That's our thing. No. No, you didn't invent that. No, we did. You invented a lot of stuff.

Peanut butter, traffic lights. The doorknob? The doorknob? Yeah, yeah. Do you know about black invention? Yeah. You know about all the black inventions? Because we go over them on this show pretty often.

Yeah. PlayStation's. No, you didn't invent. No, that's it. I think the Japanese. Yeah, that's our people. Okay. Home security system.

Traffic lights. Yeah. Elevator doors, gas masks. The modern door knob, though, too. Blood banks, ironing boards, hair straighteners, refrigeration, air conditioning, Super Soakers. Super Soaker is amazing. Lonnie Johnson invented the Super Soaker water gun.

Those are very important. Now would your mother date Lonnie Johnson? Because he's into guns, but they're water guns. She couldn't fuck with Lonnie Johnson. No. Lonnie Johnson. They say he just now got paid for that. He never got paid.

He just recently got paid for it. Oh, really? He just got paid for a Super Soaker? He just recently got paid for it. Oh, wow. Some white guy claimed it was his. Yeah, they never pay him. Fucking whites.

Wow. That was the original. Men in black style. Yeah. Wow. Look at him. So he finally got paid. Lonnie Johnson finally got paid.

I think you can look it up. It says he just got paid after many years, like him getting paid for the super soaker. And because some scumbag took all the money. Yes, 2013 Super Soaker inventor Lonnie Johnson was paid after a legal battle with Hasbro, which acquired the company to license the toy. $72.9 million in underpaid royalties. Wow. Now your mother would definitely date Lonnie Johnson. Yeah.

She would fuck Lonnie Johnson. She would fuck Lonnie. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I have a little money, would you fuck me? No, not Lonnie Johnson money, but... Okay, I know, I don't have Lonnie Johnson money, okay.

What do you think is the best black invention? That's a good question. We got stop signs, right? Traffic lights, I think, was... Yeah, that would be good. That's huge. Home security. We were just dying before.

Home security, I mean, home security is so fucked up because you just watch it happen, but you know what's happening, but it's like, it's done. Like, you can't do shit. You can't do shit. What do you mean? If somebody's breaking in your house, you just see it. But then you can do some action, like call somebody. Now, if they made home security with lasers where you can shoot through.

They need that. Now we're thinking. Yeah. Lasers. Yeah. Yeah. I always wondered, like, in the bank in the movies where they try to go through, why don't we just have those in the house? That's true. You and I breaking into his house. Breaking into his home? Yeah. We could just ask to go over. He'd let us in. Oh, you would? I'm going to break in. I'm in living room I leave my doors unlocked I live in a nice neighborhood You do?

You do? You leave your doors unlocked Yeah Seems risky to me Yeah Really? Yeah I would never leave my door unlocked

I mean why Because if things are gonna want to go in they're gonna get in Anyway You think if somebody Want to break in your house They're gonna be like Oh the door

Is locked We're gonna turn around tomorrow They're still gonna get in Well I was it's a little bit easier I don't want to get a new door Right Ah dude Let him in

He's got something there Yeah Now do you if they do If they do get in What do you do? Once they're in You just let them have it or you protect your house? I don't know.

It depends if I'm there or not there. If you're there. Oh, I mean, it'd probably be like a shooting range. You keep that thing on you. I mean, not on me, but it's like- You keep that thing at the house. It's like John Wick's style. I got you.

Yeah. Does Georgia have eminent domain? You know what that is, right? Isn't that what it's called? Where if somebody breaks into your house, you could shoot and kill them legally? You got a scream and let them know. I got a gun.

I will kill you? Yeah. Right. Stand your ground. That's right. Georgia stand-your-ground law eliminates the duty to retreat before using deadly force. So in Georgia, no duty to retreat. The individuals are not legally required

to attempt to flee a threatening situation before using deadly force. So someone breaks in your home, you could kill them. Right, but I don't want to. I'd like to. It's a free pass to kill somebody. Yeah, but it's like, I know, I'm with you, good.

Because it's like, I don't want to clean my house up. Like, it's in my house. Oh, right, right. Funny, Marco, you got plenty of money to pay someone to clean that house. Yeah. How about just go break in their house, Danny? I got the, okay, so once they break into your house,

you break into their house. Yeah. So you would make an announcement. do you think chess not checkers well how would you say it i'm breaking your house i want to do an act out right i've been trying to do an act out for three minutes well trust me we've seen yeah right yeah yeah wow those are the lasers yeah and i dogs i'm dodging the lasers right there you go right right yeah i knew about marco has these lasers right right uh-huh and then all of a sudden okay i'm going to steal this uh this mexican baby's toy could you have a mexican one right yeah yeah yeah

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And what else? I wrote down with the Lentient, a half-white baby's toy. And then I'm going to ask, I'm going to say, who's down there? It's me. Bob. It's me, Bob.

And then I'm going to laugh because I'll be like, what the fuck is wrong with him? Why would he say his name? It's Bob Lee. Right. From L.A. Right. Yeah?

That's when I say, I got a warning shot, and I fire one in the air. Yeah, but we're bros, no? No. It's not. And then when I come down, since you heard the fire, and it has to go off again. So you always got to shoot one into the air.

Oh, so I have one shot. To go away. To go away. Yeah. But then your roof has a hole in it. I know. Okay. And then you're going to have one, too.

So it's like, you know. Well, even, I'm sorry. Yeah. Excuse me. Yeah. You know it's me. We've met before. But it just went past the lasers and everything.

Yeah, you did go past the laser. Oh, I did. Oh, that's right. Because of my ninja skills. And I'm on the corner. I'm just hanging. I'm waiting for you to come back. Yeah, that's right.

Okay. Oh, you get a get a get shot too. Oh, really, seriously? Shit. Oh, shit. I guess we're dead if we go to his house. Yeah. Not mine.

I'm just saying in general. Just in general. Yeah, I will let's not come in. Really? Yeah. All right, we're going to come over. Ridge wallet. Dude, Ridge wallet is the only wallet I use.

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Artists of all genres are welcome. And I've been joined by some pretty amazing folks like glass animals. I guess that was the idea was to try something personal and see what happened. And Japanese breakfast. I thought that the most surprising thing I could offer. was an album about joy. You can listen wherever you get your podcasts. Oh, and remember, so much happens before the chorus.

Are you an ass guy or a titty's guy? It depends on what she's wearing. Right. Okay, well, I'll tell you, she's wearing like a halter top, like a cute little halter top. Her midrift is shown her stomach is showing flat, stomach, beautiful. Huh? You tell me on a process.

No, no, not anymore. What's down below? Huh? What's down below? She's wearing those pants that, you know where that hugs your butt, the stretchy pants where it goes into the crackier ass you know which ones I'm talking about

there's also a little compartment with the hide the penis Pop I don't There's a little compartment where they talk it They tuck the penis Yeah I'm listening to him

You didn't add that in there Show me the stretchy pants That like your butt is He knows which ones I'm talking about And she's wear and she's shoeless She's shoeless No shoes And she's out on

She's outside at the park You know these pants That like right that Yeah the ones that like Your butt Oh yeah yeah Yeah those Those from the internet, butt-crack leggings.

Yeah, and at the bag, you can just see the tip of the penis, tuck back. Why? Marco. Why? I don't know. He hates it. I'm sorry, Marco. What?

You say, no, I didn't say that. No, I said you hate that. What? Penis. I know, don't see that. I'm sorry, dude. My bad. I read it wrong.

You read it wrong? Yeah, yeah. You read it around. This girl, that's her right there. Ooh, love that, don't you, bud? Now, give me your intro line to her on Instagram. Somebody that kind of do that It's kind of like too much attention

I don't like somebody that kind of like Earth trap You like someone to lay low You like it like yeah like I like to like You know like hide it a little bit Do you like the jiggle or what? What the jiggle what? When the butt jiggles

Oh okay You're the butt I thought you're just talking about something else jiggling No Okay no more We're not doing that anymore No more okay Yeah yeah yeah yeah

A penis doesn't jiggle by the way Depends It just rises Right depends Like a comet Like a comet You wake up in the morning And what do you do?

Why do you keep asking me a question? Because I'm a normal human being, dude. Hey, hey, why are you jumping? He's asking you a real question. Okay, what I do is... Respond. Okay. So I wash my ghee.

You know what I mean? And, you know, I have a black belt with a stripe. The stripe I can take off. So I wash that to a hand wash that, right? And I go to the dojo, right? And I do, you know, me and my sense say, right, we do some meditation. We'll do some yoga, right?

And then, you know, I'll battle out. You know what I mean? I'll do some rounds with people. Yeah. Kiano sometimes comes around and we'll do some, You know what I mean? Taekwondo. Take me through your day when you wake up.

What do you do? What does Funny Marco do first thing in the morning? I wake up. I realize that, you know, my feet work because you never know. God is good. Yeah, I'd be thankful for that. I listen to motivation, like Steve Harvey motivation. And I always try to like, show me motivation!

We love Steve Harvey. Yeah. He's one of our favorite. Well, that offended you. Huh? It was like. That offended you. It was like.

We love Steve Harvey. It was like a push. That did it. It was a push. It was a little snap. It was like a black preacher like he went like that. Show me motivation. Show me motivation.

He says that on the show. Yeah. We did the show. Yeah, I know, I know. Did you do it? I didn't. Yeah. Interesting.

It's like, we did it, you didn't. We did it. You didn't. It just happens. He's a godly man. Are you a godly man? Mm-hmm. You are?

Do you go to church? I'm ADHD. Right. Yeah. Oh, so you can't concentrate. Yeah, I need some medicine. They do need a church for ADHD. They do.

I need... How much money do you put in the basket when it comes around? The most I put in there. The most I put in there. Because I was young. Oh, you've been in a while. What is this church? That's a fun church.

Oh, yeah, that's like a church I go to. Yeah, yeah. That's how my church looks. Yeah. Yeah. They got a 50-inch flat-screen TV there. It's like the playground of my daughter. It's like where his daughter goes to the playground.

The most racist thing I've ever heard. No, he's saying his playground where his daughter goes to is diverse. The most racist thing I've ever heard. I'm just going to write that down. I've ever heard. Yeah, write that down. Yeah, wow. I apologize.

They're happy. That's the celebration of hallelujah. That's Christ. Yeah. That's the Lord getting in you. Yeah. Now, could I go in that church, you think? No.

Yeah, yeah. And they would welcome me. I'd rather you not. Yeah, we'd definitely let him in there. I'd rather him not. How much was you put in a pot? $100. That's good.

Yeah. Can I ask one more religious question if I may? Please. Yeah. Do you think Jesus would approve you having three babies from three different babies' mamas? Yeah. Yeah, I feel like, yeah, because they're going to do something in life. That's right.

And they're going to save other people. Good answer. It also says in the Bible, be fruitful. Yeah. And you're being very fruitful. Very good. Yeah. How many kids do y'all get?

I have zero. I have zero. Oh, what do you have? We pull out. Blanks? Shooting blanks. No, we pull out. You pull out or you back up?

What? Do I back up? Oh, do you back up? No, I'm saying, do you back up? He backs out. Well, he usually falls out. I fall out. He'll fall right out.

I slip out. Yeah. I slip out. There's nothing to grab onto. That's good. Yeah, and I make a noise. I say something usually. What is your favorite sex word?

Excuse me? What is your favorite sex word? Oh, is it excuse me? No, no, no, no, no. It could be. My favorite sex word. Word, phrase? Yeah, praise.

Dang, that hoochie is stinky. Yeah, dang that hoochie stinky. That's my favorite sentence. Dang, dang, that's hoochiest thing. What's yours? What's yours? I guess when I'm making love, it's like, back that ass up, back that ass up, back that ass up.

Back that ass up. Yeah, I'll say that pretty frequently to my wife. Yeah. Baby doll bake that, back that ass up. Yeah, yeah. And then I'll give her a little, get over here, back that ass up. Yeah. What do you say?

Oh shit. Oh shit. That's what you say? Oh shit. Well. No, it's just like, oh shit. Oh shit. What is the sound that you make when you orgasm do you make?

Oh shit. I really don't, I really don't, I don't make no orgasm because I'm trying to save the energy. Right. That's protein. You just look at them. No, sometimes you have closed your eyes. Oh, you close your eyes. Yeah.

Okay. Yeah. Yeah, I see that. Yeah. Like that? No noise? Don't do no noise. Okay.

Put your eyebrows down. Can't. Like this? Can't. Yeah, like that. She gonna think it stink if you look like that. Okay, okay, well this is, that's my face. Yeah.

Yeah. It's a good bit. Shut up, I try. I try. It's a good bit. All right, if I can guess, can I guess, are you a car guy? No. You don't like car, you don't drive?

I do, but I don't care for cars. You don't care at all. What is the thing you like the most? That's what, that's, if I had a lot. Like toys. A lot of money I can buy something. I really, I couldn't even say. Because I didn't know I was going to have money to buy anything.

And now you have it though. Yeah, but I just, I like to help people. That's beautiful. That's it. Oh, that's sweet. I don't really, it's not something like, oh, I knew I was going to get that or I want that. Like, PlayStation, PS5s in games. I played a lot of games.

He loves video games. I love video games. I used to be into like wrestling man and stuff. WWE was like my thing. That was your shit. Yeah. Who was your guy? Oh.

I like mankind because he had different personalities. Right. Yeah, Mick Foley, hardcore, and had different personalities. Right? Have you met any of your heroes? I was upset when I found out of Cana Undertaker wasn't brothers, real brothers. And I was upset when the Dudley Boys weren't real brothers. I thought they was real brothers.

That fucked you up. That fucked you up. It's a lie. Yeah. But who have you met that surprised you the most? Yeah, the Dudley Boys. Yeah, the Dudley Boys forum. Who surprised you the most that you've met someone?

You go, wow, I really like that person. I didn't know if I'd like him. Yeah, I thought they was really. bro brother. Yeah. What do you think gave it a way that they weren't? The way they dress? Yeah. It was just the energy. Yeah. The energy gave it away. Something in the room. Yeah. What do you think about Diddy's 50 month sentence? Too much, too little. I don't know. I don't get it. Come on. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Let's what you feel. We know you though. Let me tell y'all. Let me, like, can y'all listen to what? If you pull up

anything about me, I don't get into people. business because look right when you get when you believe in God God God's going to handle the real thing so I feel like when you living on this earth people doing this and doing that but it's only one answer and that's where he going to decide God's going to decide oh that's what really can't nobody ever outdo I'll tell you the judge decided he deserved 50 months so that was that was the judge's opinion yeah so if you were a jury member what would you have said I'll be sleep I got ADHD yeah okay yeah jury number 12 is asleep read your DMs to Marco he'd like to how one of the exchanges goes with the girls.

Yeah, here we go. With any of the girls. He wants to talk about your game, and we skipped right over the game. Yeah, so here's one. Can you read it? Here. Yeah, here we go. So this one says, hey, Jocelyn, and Jocelyn wrote, hi, Bobby, and that was it.

That was the last time they talked. That was it. So that was that one. Can you write her back? Here's another one. Bobby, hey, you in L.A. A day later, sorry, barely check notifications. here for one more day.

Do you come often to NYC? Never responded. So his game is tight. Pretty tight shit. Why you don't respond? He gets really over it. Yeah, if they live in, and when's the next time I'm going to be in NYC, this and that,

I just like, you know, if you're in town, you're in L.A., then I'll take you out, whatever, but other than that, nah, you know? Yeah, all these, you stop responding to literally all of these women. And four of them sent the eye emoji like this. You know, the double eye. Where are you? Yeah.

I mean, this has gotten really bad. I'm actually shocked. Darn, come back. Please come back. Okay. One more. Okay. Hey.

Are you real? Yeah. Hey, how are you? Hey, Bobby, how are you? And then literally a month later, she goes, okay, well, I'm on a show. Would you like to give me some tips on being on camera? And you responded. What do you think you said?

Nothing. Yeah, you said nothing. Yeah, one more time, you said nothing. Pretty bad. So what is it? Like, what is it? He's afraid of commitment. I'm not.

No, he really wants to commit again. I think he's just not interested in girls that aren't interesting. So what do you feel like his type is? Someone who's dynamic, someone that's... He's a dynamic personality. Someone that's got their own thing. Their own thing going on. You know what I mean?

He likes women that... Like an arts and craft store. Right. Like how Roseanne was. Just like Roseanne Bar. Just like Roseanne Bar. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Style-wise.

Style-wise. You know, fashion, from a fashion perspective, Roseanne is kind of like the kind of girls you date. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Because Roseanne, I mean, this is kind of some of the stuff back then. No, that's not.

Big, beautiful blouses. Yeah, yeah. I do. Always carrying laundry. Do you get along with her? Roseanne? Yeah. We've never met.

We don't know each other. Oh. Do you love her? Yeah, I don't know her. I mean, that story I told you. Do you remember her? Yes, I do. Yeah.

Do you want to meet Roseanne one day? I would like to meet. Who's your comedy heroes? Who in comedy do you love? Steve Harvey. We know that Show me I like him for motivations

Yeah Okay okay but not the comedy Okay I didn't know he did Stand up No He did for a long time Yeah

I just thought he did Motivation speech True Who's your hero now Uh I love Dave Chappelle Cause he's just been in him Do you know

Have you met Dave I met him through Donnell Rowling Yeah we love Donnell We love Donnell Yeah he don't like you Wait wait wait

Is that real? Yeah No, no, wait, wait, wait, how do you know this? No, I'm serious, he don't like you. Yeah, yeah, but what did he say? I'm not going to go back and forth about him. Yeah, yeah. You just said you stay out of people's business.

Right. I'm going to call him. Yeah, I can't. Yeah, I can't. We can't have this. I don't, this is, that hurts. That hurts, dude. It's also late where he is, so he might not answer because it's got to be one in the morning.

Yeah. If he's in New York. That really hurts that you said that because I thought we had something with him. No, him. Oh, he doesn't like, bye. Oh, that's fine. Leave a message. No, no, no.

He said he doesn't like you. I'm fine with it. He did something about he was naked. Oh. Yeah. What? That's insane. What?

I was naked. I'm being real right now, Funny Marco. I'm serious. He's like, yo, the dick sign is stuck in my head, son. Yeah. Oh, yeah, son. Yeah, yeah. That is what he says.

Yeah, yeah. That's out of control, dude. Just type, text him, do you not like me? Why don't you like me? Funny Marco says. Okay. Let's say good night, boo. That is how you sign off.

Don't have his number. He don't like me either. Why not? He's just, he's just a different type of energy. But it's like a bit like. Yeah, but he, can I just say, though, though, whenever I do see him, he does hug me.

Yeah. That's just to, like, not come off as racist. Yeah, yeah. And then he goes, you're a fool to me. Yeah. And he goes, get the fuck out of here. Right. That's telling you a lie.

That's telling you a lot. That's not good. Not good. So do you think he's racist underneath at all? No. He's not. Are you racist? No.

Not even a lot. a little bit. Marco? Come on. No. Just a little. I mean, what is racist? You know. Yeah. No, tell me. Bring up some pictures. Yeah. Let me know because I didn't, y'all can tell me something new. So racism and the NFL is actively fighting it right now, as I might say. It's a pandemic. So like not, I not like in a group of people because what they look like. Well, prejudice discrimination or just individual community or institution against a person, people based on their membership of a particular racial ethnic group typically.

Yeah. No. No, you don't like... No, I go off of people off the experience that I meet them. That's wonderful. Everybody's different. That's great. Yeah.

So it's like... That's the good way to be. I really don't... Because if you took away color, then what? What do you mean? Everybody was the same color, then what? If the world was black and white. Right.

Then it's still... We'd still see. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. He'd probably be eliminated. But what I'm saying is... Eliminated.

Yeah, what up? I like that you're writing stuff. down this episode. Here's what it is, though. I don't know if funny Marco likes me. He loves you. I do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I told you. I love hangover. See, that's what I mean. What do you mean? I don't know what you mean. Well, he knows I'm not in hangover. No, he's not in hangover. No, I'm not in hangover, dude. That's Ken Jung. Oh. Oh my God. Well, not. Was you on Mad TV? Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Same guy. See? Yeah. Yeah. But you think we're the same guy? I thought it was.

No. Now, based on his photo, do you know that that's not me? I know you on Mad TV. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You had like screen time. Yeah, I was on the show. Yeah.

Yeah, I had screen time. Wow, how old are you? 54, I already told you. Are you like, you sure? Yeah. Matt TV is like, how old was you when Mad TV was? I was 30. Oh.

24 years ago. Do you remember it? I do. I remember it very well. Who was the guy that was the guy that, stop, stop? Stuart. Yeah, Michael McDonald, yeah. Good friend of ours.

He's around, he's still, he's doing great. Great guy, so he works a lot. He's directing a lot. He's a director. I think they should bring it back. Yeah. We do too. Yeah, we do too.

We could use. I don't know what it was about. I just remember watching it as a kid and it was a sketch show. Yeah. Like, do you like Saturday Live or no? I think Matt TV is better. Yeah, thank you so much.

That's right. Matt TV was more fun. You had some writing a duo on there? I did some writing, yeah, yeah. No. I did. No. Actually, I did.

He did. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, he did. Why do you do that? No, no, no, he did. No, no, why do you do that? He did, he did, he wrote a lot. No, no, no, no.

I didn't write a lot, but I did write some stuff. Why do you do that? He writes some stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, hot dog. Any of your last name is Lee? Lee. Yeah.

Good, you guys are really pissing me off today. Well, keep writing it down. Maybe it'll come to fruition. What? Where did you get your last name from? It's a good question. That's the crisis. It makes sense.

Yeah. Well, my father, Bruce. Had Lee, right, right? And I just, you know, when he gave birth to me, I just took on the family name. The Korean surname Lee originates from the Chinese character for plum. Yeah.

Which is the shape of my testicle. You don't think that's racist for them to have that? No, no, no, no, because that's real. Okay. Yeah. The name of the Lee, the Chinese origin to live from the character meaning plum or plum tree. It's actually pretty beautiful.

Yeah. That's actually beautiful. It is beautiful. Little plum. I'm a plum, dude. Like you'll love to have, like it sounds respectable. Because Lee is very, it's one syllable, it's quick. Lee.

Yeah. Yeah. Lee. Do you get married? Do you get your name up? No, no. My wife would take on my name, no. Do you don't want her name?

It doesn't, I don't know what her last name. Give me her, give me an example of what her last name would be. Henderson. What? Henderson. Henderson. Yeah. Bobby Henderson.

Bobby Henderson. Yeah. I like that. I like that a lot. Like Ricky Henderson. Yeah. Would you change your last name? Would you change your last name?

I want to ask you a question. No, no. Why can ask you? You can. I'm going to answer it first. Okay, go ahead. I mean, I'm going to answer the second. What do you sound, Henderson sound like?

What race would you put that way? Henderson. Let me see. That's a red. Henderson. Henderson. Henderson? What race would you feel?

White. Okay. Ricky Henderson was black. Great baseball player. Yeah. Really? Ricky Henderson was black? Yeah.

It's a black last name. It is? It's a black last name. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, Henderson. It says right there, AI. The surname Henderson is only for black people. It says it right there in AI

originates from the Germanic given name Henry meaning home ruler It's a patronomic name meaning Scottish son of Henry It's a prominent Scottish surname Because the movie Harry and the Henderson It's not a bunch of fucking black people It should have been

I know Go Google Harry and the Henderson Once again Hollywood doing their thing Yeah yeah yeah Harry and the Henderson Taking rolls away Yeah yeah yeah yeah So let me say something

Are you in that Oh my God Yeah that's the Henderson's Let's tread lightly here. Okay. Why? Yeah. Let's tread lightly. Why tread lightly? Tread lightly. It's crazy. It's crazy.

For you to bring that up, let's just tread. Why? Because there's a white gorilla in it? Let's tread as lightly as we possibly can. Oh, wow. You know, let's really, let's dance on the surface. Let's do the Jesus lizard and dance right across the water and not even touch it, really. Yeah, yeah. Right. You're right. Point taken.

By the way, Harry is the dog. That's the biggest bit about the. That's the whole thing. That's the fun part. Right, and that's John Henderson. Do you ever see that movie? I have not. You need to watch that. Does it seem scary?

No, it don't seem scary. It seems very relaxing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is actually a story about immigration, that whole thing. That's what that really was about. Yeah. Bring up Ricky Henderson the baseball player. One of the greatest of all that.

So this, so it was a black name then. So maybe it changes. It changes. There he is. Ricky, the dog. Oh, shit. One of the best. Rest in peace.

He passed? 20, one maybe? When did he die? 2024 oh my god it was that reason short in his years just last year Would you change your last name? I got two last names

Okay Henderson and Summers Oh summer I go back and forth But if you met a woman She's like you need to have my last name Would you do it? Well how you're talking

It sounds like it's gonna be a Lee Oh No my last name Hottorito I could take it Yeah, Hodorito toe Yeah Hotritito to like that Okay good

Yeah I would take that last name Okay cool See I think when you get married You guys should make up a new last name That's my theory. That's dope. They should just make up a new last name. Yeah.

It's a new family. This is fun. You come up with half and then you finish it. Right. Right? So go ahead. Which one? A last night?

Yeah, to start. I had a last name that he's going to finish it. You can create a new last name. Half of a last name. Go ahead. And go. Funny Marko. So start a half of a last name.

Funny? What the fuck? I'm, it's coming to me. Okay. Her? Gaser. Her gazer. Her gazer.

I love this game. You didn't do her, like, hertsin or nothing? No, her gazer. Yeah. Hey man, you do your thing, I do mine. Yeah. I'll give you one, you finish it. I wanna play.

Okay. Sit this one out. Okay. No, okay, ready? I'll give you one. Yeah, yeah. Shan. Penis.

I did know that was gonna go that way. Yeah, give me another one, really. Did see that coming. Yeah. Let's be real. I'll do it real. Bain. Merkle.

Yeah. Mr. and Mrs. Bain Merkel. Yeah, it's got, it's sort of a Scottish twang. It's a Scottish, English is your second language. Yeah, yeah. What do you feel like, when you're on stage, do y'all sometimes have a moment where it just seems so like, you could just, it's like, in a Matrix, something just hit you like,

God damn, I'm really on stage, like. Sometimes, yeah, that's moment, where you kind of feel surreal where you don't even, yeah, like, oh my God, yeah. Like you just like a tunnel where you go, yeah. That's kind of how it feels sometime. And then I wake up, I'm in a pod. Dripping wet. I'm going to be wet in a pod.

Not so fantasies. I'm talking about real life. Real life. I got to tell you, 18 coughs later, you're definitely sick. There's no chance. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

We're getting, you know. That's not allergies. Okay, let me say something. I'm going to have that cough tomorrow. We're going to get sick. Oh, yeah. No, it's not. Okay, so I have mucus and it's coming out.

Yeah, that's when you're sick. Yeah, that's sick. Yeah, it's not, it's mucus. Allergy mucus. Allergy mucus. Yeah, yeah. How often does allergies create a cough? I only cough 17 times as I've been here.

Yeah, yeah. 17 or 18, yeah. How long have you been sick? How long? About two months. Oh, okay. Why you laugh? No, just because that's a big sickness.

Two months is longer than it should be. No, that's like normal. Average sickness. What are your symptoms right now? You sore throat? What's your manager's name again? Jackie. Jackie!

Is he sick? On his allergy. Yeah. Good manager. That's a really good manager. Good fucking manager. Can I ask you a question? Because I was arguing with my brother about this.

I stopped wearing pull-ups at the age six going on seven. When did y'all stop? Diapers? Pull-ups. Same thing, I think. You pissing those, yes? Yeah. Those are diapers, yeah.

Oh, what's the normal age to get out of? To get out of diapers? Yeah. Pull-ups. I was three. I was probably around three or four, right? Yeah. I was six going to.

Did you wet the bed as a kid? I had a pull-up on. But when after that. Yeah, but you pee in the pull-up while you were in bed. No, no, after you were six, did you wet the bed? Or shit or pee. Did you have a bed-wetting problem at all as a kid? No, after I got out of pull-ups, six or one or seven.

You were straight. But I thought that's the average age. No. What's the average age to get out of diapers? Between two and three. Many people get out of diapers. Two, maybe three, sounds right. Four is a late, that's a late bloomer.

Funny Mark. Funny Marker. You ever shit your pants? Well, I guess, you know, shard it before. Yeah, yeah, that's what I meant. I was trying to show out and try to fart, but that was it. Okay. When's the last time it happened?

I don't do that no more. Okay. Two and four, right. That was right. Two and four is about right. So why did I, why are they six or seven? I don't know what was. Maybe underdeveloped.

Well, maybe you needed a little bit extra time. Some people need a little bit more extra time. Yeah, I went to normal schools too? Normal schools? Yeah. You mean like, um, yeah. Were we slow? Are we slow? I wouldn't call it slow.

We didn't, we went. You need special attention? We did, yeah. Yeah. Did you? Yeah, we did. You really did it special intention? Mm-hmm.

Like, what kind? Well, I was in a program called care. Care stands for children and real experts. Something. So it was an alternative school for those that learn different, correct? That's kind of what it is? Yeah. Yeah.

Oh shit, y'all been having headphones the whole time. Y'all can hear me? Yeah. Can you hear us? No, y'all didn't, yeah, I'm saying y'all. Do you want them? They're right here. Oh, y'all didn't tell me.

We have them, but you've been doing so fine without them. Do you want them? I mean, y'all didn't tell me. But you look good. We didn't want to fuck up your hat. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow, you got Pouss icy in here. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I just didn't want to fuck up your hat. Let's try them. Does that sound better now? Yeah, better. Do you want to keep on? Yeah, I like them. Okay. God bless.

God bless you. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Strip clubs are big in Atlanta. Do you go to those? Yeah, you gotta support strip club. You have to. What's your favorite one?

I like Blue Flame. You got Magic City. Magic City's pretty standard. Yeah. Blue Flame though. Yeah. Do you befriend the dancers? Do you know them personally?

Yeah, I get to hear their story, why they ended up there if they dad know they why they're in here. That's the first question I asked. Do your mom know you do this? And what do they say usually? Uh, why would you ask that? Yeah. And what do you say in return? Yeah.

I'm kinda like, you know, getting to know their background. Right. It's important. Have you ever dated a stripper? Yeah. You have? Yeah. More than one? I had one solid one.

Yeah, one solid one. Yeah, one saw one good one. From the flame. Father is suing Atlanta gentlemen's club after son is shot dead outside of Blue Flame. Deshawn Marquise Lee. Ah! What do you know? Deshawn Marquis Lee Hendron.

Now this is a guy that took a few last names. Yeah. After a fight inside the Blue Flame Lounge spilled into the nearby parking lot. When was this shooting? Trust me, it's a good club. Yeah, I know, it was a long time ago. Look at that. Three years ago.

Three years ago, that's so far removed. RP to him too, yeah. RIP to that, gentlemen, that's terrible. The Blue Flame Lounge though. They have $5 pancakes. Wow. Not bad. Have you had the food there?

Nah. Okay. I don't eat food from like, you know, anywhere. Where do you get food from then? Papadose. Only Papadose. And then do you cook, do you cook at home? Yeah, I cook at home.

I like cooking. You do? Yeah. What would you make us if we came We came over. We came over, what was it? I got some fried chicken. Okay.

Sorry, I shouldn't have went that deep. Fried chicken? Yeah, fried chicken with some fries. French fries? Yeah. Anything else? Some ketchup and hot sauce. Yeah.

Chup and hot sauce. Salad or? What are you drinking? Liquor, no liquor? Okay. Are you a drinker? No, I drink my car, lemonade. Right.

That's it. Do you get high? No, I don't like coffee. Right. No drugs. Mm-mm. Just a little. I smoked before.

but it was hard to cough. Like, I did an edible before and it was just like, that was just, all shit. So you were, you're, no more of that. Yeah, there's edibles. Yeah, and that was, like, powerful. It's heavy. It's heavy.

It's not powerful. Yeah, they're heavy. But Mike's hard lemonade you like. Yeah, that doesn't get me on a bus. I like those sometimes. Three of those in your set. Yeah. I used to drink those in high school all the time.

Why you say it like that? I should drink them in high school all time. I know, but why you say it like, I used to? Because I don't do it anymore. Oh. It's past tense. They're too sweet for me. Yeah, when you get older, you start to feel that way.

Yeah, sugar, too much sugar. Like, you don't like desserts, like I don't like Mike's Hard Lemonade. Yeah, how old are you? We don't know how old you are. I'm 32. Okay. Yeah. You said it like he wasn't going to answer. I love it.

I love you. I look like a backup quarterback? I'll take that. You do look like a backup quarterback. I'll take that. What do I look like? What's the name Rush? If y'all look up the Baltimore quarterback right now.

Oh, yeah, that's right. I got tagged a lot online by that guy. People said I look like that guy. Man, you are sick. I'm not. There's no way that's it. There I am. Yeah.

Yeah. That's you. That's fucking awesome. What do I like, do me, do me now? Bob does know that's not an insult. That's fantastic to be in the NFL. Do I look like I'm in the fucking NFL? That's a good thing.

Huge. And you're still going. Like you're smart. Fuck, yeah. Watch what he gives me now. What is he? He has, hell of interceptions. Oh.

What does he look like? Type in Panda Express. Panda Express. Workers. Not going to lie, you do look like three of the five. That's a Mexican woman. That's a Mexican woman. Or maybe the owners?

Is that Mr. Express right there? Look, look. Do you know why I've never seen a black Chinese worker? Like, I mean, I've never seen a black person working out of a Chinese restaurant. Why? Why not? Why isn't there not a black person working at a Chinese restaurant? Yeah, they don't hire.

I asked for application before. They didn't give me. You wanted to work at Panda Express? Not that one. No, they'll hire black people. Chinese restaurant. Like if you walked into a soul food restaurant, you don't want to see white people back there working. Yeah.

It happened. Really? If you saw an Asian guy, do you want some grit? You want a color flower? Color green? You wouldn't like it? It happened. It happened that Papa's churches. No, no, no. That's fast food. That's different. He's talking about like a family-owned restaurant is different. Because I guarantee you

there's a black guy that works at a Panda Express. I bet my life on. Yeah, it is. Yeah. Okay, yeah. But at a Family-owned restaurant? Yeah, you're going to get... No, you're not going to get that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like a cracker barrel. Yeah.

My parents own a couple of cracker barrel. Yeah. We won't hire anybody but crackers. And they kept the barrel and that man on the sign. And they better... And they better bring it back. Yeah, yeah. Donald Trump.

Have you been to Cracker Barrel? No, I've never been there. It's great breakfast. Mm-hmm. You like breakfast? I really don't eat breakfast. I told you. You don't eat anything?

I eat at night. Late at night. Are you having fun? Yeah. I got to learn a lot about y'all. And this is a moment because everybody in this room was going to die eventually. But we created a moment.

We did. We did. I think we did. I'd like to not die. We came inside each other. I came inside the room. We came inside the room, I think that. And we did come inside each other.

That part's true. That part's not true. That part. Okay. I'm saying like from spiritually hearing you. Spiritually, we did come inside. I think our energies combined. Yeah, but it came inside. I don't think so.

I think our energy's met. My energy came inside you. about that. I could feel it. Yeah, yeah, I could feel it too, you know. I don't feel it. I don't feel it. Yeah, I didn't pull out.

No, it's always gonna stick on me. Yeah, it's gonna stick inside you. I'm gonna go in, go to YouTube, and I'm gonna watch Mad TV tonight. Yeah? I'm gonna watch your videos. Will you show it to your son tomorrow? What, the Mad TV?

Yeah, show your son Mad TV. Uh, why not? I mean, what's the skits? What's the skit that you were in that you remember? That was big. What's the one that you did? I did a punch, but I don't know. What was a big one?

Like, you're like, this is a, I did, no, don't do all the hot dog. Uh-oh, hot dog was huge. North Korean scientists was big. North Korean scientist? U.S. Connie Chung was big. No, North Korean scientist is my biggest one. Yeah, that one was huge.

That's me and my brother, Steve. Huge. Yeah, that was a great one. You was in Pineapolis, Brace? I had one line in that, yes. He was in it. Yeah. How do you remember?

He was in the van in one cutaway scene. Yeah, yeah. And that was me and the guy from Hangover. And that's why he confused you. That does make sense. That's what you can be. That's what you can be. They're almost one of the same.

It wasn't the same, yeah. That's you, right? Yeah, it is me. There I am again. Marco, do you have any burning questions to ask us before we end this interview? I don't burn. Oh, no, I'm, do you have any honest questions

to ask us before we end? What do you see yourself in like, you know, like 20 years? What do you see yourself? Well, I'll be 74. I just feel like I'll be on a beach somewhere, tanning, drinking some sweet drink. Get my dick

Suck I'll be 60 62 You think I'll be dead Yeah 62 I'll be living in the In the woods in Canada somewhere

Yeah So he's gonna be out of your life 100% Yeah This is only gonna last a couple of years We gotta enjoy these moments That's what I mean He'll be writing his manifesto

Right He's gonna make things Send it in the mail Yeah I won't send it to you Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. But some of some people.

Yeah, I don't check in my mouth back. Please don't. Yeah. And then, um. Where are you gonna be in 20 years? Oh, shit. It'll be 52. I'm 32 now.

I probably, what, 20 years? Be 52. I'll be, what, 42, 42? 52, same thing, it's pretty close. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You'll be almost his age. In 20 years, you'll still be younger than Bobby. I want to be living in a...

That's crazy the thing. Yeah, that's gross. Yeah, that's gross. That's weird. be living in, I want it like a dope A dove? A dope tree house. A dope tree house? Yeah. Yeah. Would you build it? No, hell no. No.

I'll pay somebody to do it. Yeah, I don't... You're emotionally healthy. Yeah, this is, okay. I get, I probably get mad at two times a month. What do you get mad about? Probably getting madden, fucked up my record. Matt, again, in Madden? Yeah. Yeah. That'll set you off a little bit. What team do you play with in Madden? I play, I was playing with the Chiefs. I was all to play with. but I play with Philadelphia Eagles, because they're cheat.

Because they cheat. Yeah, I don't like the Eagles, but. But you play them. They got a good squad. Yeah, they do. But the Chiefs are going back to the Subo. You think so? I know so.

You do? Yeah. Interesting. You heard it here? It's part of the storyline. It is part of the storyline. Yeah. They need to go back.

Yeah. Okay. I believe in you. Funny Marco, it's been more than a pleasure to have you on my birthday. to every fucking guess. No, no, no, no. It's been more than a pleasure to have you on my birthday episode.

Oh, wow. This has been an actual great birthday thing. And I will get sick. Hurrah! Hurrah! Hurrah! Y'all got cake and cream here?

Yeah. Do we have what? Cake and ice cream? Do they bring it out right now? We already did that. You said you don't want to... You don't want Tears and Missou. Yeah, is it vanilla?

Tierra Missou. Yeah. Is it chocolate or vanilla? It's got all of it in there. Got all of it in there? Got all of it in there? Give them a piece. Yeah, just try it.

I don't like mix. Huh? You don't like to mix? Just try a piece. I like stuff straight up. Okay. You have multicultural babies. You definitely like to mix.

Okay. Am I wrong? Yeah. You have multicultural children. So you love to mix. Is that wrong? You're right. Yeah.

You won up. Beautiful babies. Yeah. Take me through there. See? Thank you for watching being a bad friend. Yeah, whoo-hoo. Yeah.

Woo. Woo. Yeah. Woo. Yeah. I'm going to get to go. I don't know. I'm going to go to the company.

I can't get a boy. I don't know.