Bad Friends - Shoot The TV

Episode Date: March 2, 2020

Bad Friends is a comedy podcast with hosts Bobby Lee & Andrew Santino. Thank you to our sponsors... https://www.manscaped.com code: badfriends & http://betterhelp.com/badfriends & https://buffy.co code: badfriends Watch on YouTube: http://bit.ly/BadFriendsYouTube More Bobby Lee TigerBelly: https://www.youtube.com/tigerbelly Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bobbyleelive/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/bobbyleelive Tickets: https://bobbyleelive.com/ More Andrew Santino Whiskey Ginger: https://www.youtube.com/andrewsantinowhiskeyginger Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino/ Twitter: https://Twitter.com/cheetosantino Tickets: http://www.andrewsantino.com/ More Bad Friends iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-friends/id1496265971 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/badfriendspod/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/badfriends_pod Official Website: http://badfriendspod.com/ Opening Credits and Branding: https://www.instagram.com/joseph_faria & https://www.instagram.com/jenna_sunday Credit Sequence Music: http://bit.ly/RocomMusic // https://www.instagram.com/rocom Character Design: https://www.instagram.com/jeffreymyles Produced by George Kimmel & Bryce Hallock - 7EQUIS Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Anchor if you haven't heard about anchor. It's the easiest way to make a podcast Let me explain. Oh, please. It's free. Awesome. That's cool These are there are creation tools that allow you to record and edit your podcast right from your phone or your computer You do it from your phone like on the go. Oh my god That's cool the bus or the subway you can do it. That's cool Anchor will distribute your podcast for you so it can be heard on Spotify Apple podcast and many many many many many many more. Go ahead You can make money from your podcast too. No minimum listenership. How about that? You can make money with no minimum listenership It's everything you need to make a podcast all in one place. Where do we have to go Bob?

Download the free anchor app or go to anchor.fm to get started Oh, so get your tickets to see Bobby Lee live at Bobby Lee live calm. Don't say but say you it's you do it Do it take your tickets to see me. Go ahead at Bobby Lee live calm and my dates are coming up. What are they Bob? Don't tell me what to do, but I'll tell you what they are Denver comedy works. You deserve it 12 to the 14th You're dead. Are you downtown? Yeah, Lamar Square is the best. I've been there before how many shows are you doing? Just five. Oh, I did six. Yeah, they could they wanted to do seven, but I said no they want to do 13 for me But I said it's a non-lucky number I'm gonna do Houston, Texas the Houston improv March 27th through 29th

Dallas, Texas that the Addison improv April 3rd through the 5th, and I'm gonna be at San Diego, California at the American Comedy Club at April 30th to May 2nd. All right. What's yours friend? Come see me on the Red Rocket tour go to Andrew Santino com for tickets I'm in Philly March 6 and 7th at the punchline in Chicago March 13th at Talia Hall Then I'm at Mohican Sun March 19th and 21, and then I'm in Cincinnati March 27th, and then I'm in Cleveland March 28th. Oh and then and Then on the 29th, I'll be in Houston for Skankfest You're gonna be in Houston and the same time you have to come over and say hi

Oh, yeah, I might gonna really be in seriously really you're gonna be in Houston the same time you have to come say hi Okay, we'll have dinner or something like that. Yeah, come see us You are dangerous from your Gordon Junho, okay, I can't help that all Ladies and gentlemen Bobby Okay, I can't all right. I can't help it That's it. You don't do it. I Don't do it. All right, you wanna fuck don't do that. Don't point it at me. What did stop doing boom, dude?

All right, okay stop it. I can't help it the Koreans are big-headed Huge yeah, yeah very melon. What size hat do you have like a 994? No, I have to get like a Tailor to my head. No, yeah, if I go to like lids you don't go to lids Yeah, yeah, they have to get that trash can and they put the trash can on my head Yeah, and then they just build the fucking, you know the opening of a trash can like if you got a bowl cut They would have to use like a fucking one of those huge salad bowls to cut your head. Yeah There's only two styles back then for Koreans

What was it bowl cut and just cut fucking monk it out shave it down Shave it down the nub. Yeah. Yeah. What do you know about this is real? I run in the neighborhood I can't tell you what's going on with me. Yeah My neck really hurts by the way, and I have a sore throat may have the coronal, but um, I'll tell you what happened to me No corona Bayros corona What happened? I had a rough two weeks guys. Yeah. Oh, congratulations on Curve by the way that you're really good on it. You didn't see it. Mm-hmm. It didn't even come out yet. I Mean it came out, but you didn't see it. You're good on it. You didn't see it

Yes, I did you liked it. Yeah, we're really good. What was what was my favorite? What was your favorite line of mine? I don't memorize lines even I've seen um a good a good few men a few good men Yeah, and a good few men and then they um And then you know, you know how they quote that movie I don't know any of the quotes, but I've seen the movie like a thousand times Give me any movie quote that you remember then Are you Yeah, are you looking at me?

Is that what you're looking at? What is that? What movie could that be taxi driver? Yeah, yeah, hey, I don't know what hey, I'm walking here I'm walking here. I'm walking here here's here's yeah at midnight and then I got so many quotes actually But you saw you saw my curb episode and you thought it was really good. You're really good at okay. I I thank you for that. Yeah, tell everyone where where we were for the separation that we weren't apart We were apart for a while. Where'd you go? So I went to Hawaii and again Yeah, and I had a real on traumatic experience there to be honest with you to be real then say it Well, um, I show up to something Magnum PI

Mm-hmm and the director is Robocop The guy who was in the fucking cup the Robocop the real Robocop. He was the director. Yeah. Yeah, what's that guy's name? Peter Weller, whoa Peter Weller Robocop, so I come up to him in the early morning. I didn't know he was directing. I Thought he was guest-darring so I see him in the morning and I go. Oh My god I'm a big fan of yours. I'm a big fan of yours too as well is what he said. Yeah That sounds nice like at five in the morning there. He has Peter Weller, right? That was him

so then I show up on set and he comes up to me and I haven't we haven't shot anything yet and he goes Don't fuck this up Joking around. I don't know Obviously joking around. Yeah. Well, I don't to me. It didn't sound and then he walked away and he went eat eat eat You know what I mean? I was like what the fuck he is the you know what I mean? Yeah, and then he goes um He this is how he gives notes. What are you doing?

He doesn't like Robocop. Yeah, and he got each each right and then he goes on Bobby more energy. No Yeah, yeah, but then but then by the last day of shooting I had this one line. I just could not Comprehend I can't even say the line now. What do you mean? It was a line in the script I couldn't say in terms of what it was just hard to say Yeah, what what what do you it was in the middle of a bunch of things? I had to say and I just could couldn't remember what it was and then All night long is a do what just make fun of me. Just be like this kid right here can't even memorize one line Shut up. Yeah in front of every oh, yeah, and this is after you've wrapped. This is during the last day

You know, this is the last day. Oh, what the fuck on set in front of people was like, yeah I mean people, you know, he's he is you know, he's obviously joking around Yeah, but it was but to me It's just not fun. It just puts a lot of like Added because I'm not even getting that much money for it and I'm doing it because I love the leads in it and stuff It's fun to do, you know, but but he but he when he's a guest director. He's not every episode. No every week Yeah, so um, yeah every week is somebody different but um, so then that happened and then I flew my mom to um Maui and Stevie right my brother Steve. Yeah, and then yesterday

I Yeah, what it came down. It was I made her cry why my mom my mom cried in the my bedroom I know why did you make her cry? BTS Back you back street. No, no, no Because of BTS man, you know BTS is Uh behind the no behind the shield. It's a huge the biggest pop group on earth. Oh, oh, they're oh, they're k-pop stars Yeah, I know who they are. Yeah. Yeah, I know who's a yes eight FD ATF Those are the ones that killed the people in a Waco

Wait BTS, this is them. Yeah, the biggest boy band in the world the biggest k-pop band in literally in the world And they are all so fucking hot. Yeah, look at how good that's a these all boys Yeah, that's a girl. Yeah, that's a hot boy. Yeah, I would fuck every one of them in their buttholes Can I tell you the one that I wouldn't this one? I don't like his look this one. No, that was the one Yeah, that was the one that like barely got in he didn't even audition 50 times We need somebody about all girl And they're like we don't he can't dancing nothing

You know me boy, he'll just be in the background. He's in the background. Look at this. They don't even tell him where the camera is Yeah, he's looking this way. I mean, he just he know he finds out from the other guys when the photo shoots are Yeah, they don't call him directly now. He has to get taxed. Yeah taco taco taco Tanaka It goes it goes. Yeah. Yeah, Wingo That's the name is Wingo. Yeah, Wingo. We have a photo shoot right now They didn't tell me right and he has to run. They don't even they won't even pick him up He has to run with his little yellow legs. Yeah. Yeah. I'm your guy. Oh look look, it might be blind They're all looking at the camera. He's well, they're Asian. That's rude. Oh, no, no, no, no, you're right

He's looking the wrong way do I jokes now, but my friend. I know So what are their names by the way? Can you name one of them real quick? I have no idea who let's go through their names Yeah, yeah, let's let's learn who they are. Yeah, well, let me kind of tell you the story first No, no I want to know who they are All right, you know what that bts stands for the Korean expression Bangtan Sione dain

How do you say this bangtan Sione dain bangtan sone dangan bangtan sione dain It literally means bulletproof Boy Scouts. Yeah, that's what they are Shoot one fucking shoot one do that Shoot george if you're gonna shoot somebody shoot george. All right. I will virginia tech this place up brah How about this? How about this? Let's say you're gonna give george a raise. Yeah, if you can shoot him every that was a bad joke By the way, that was so dark. Yeah, that was very black. I skipped right over it Um, george is gonna get a raise if he can shoot you every week. Would that be worth it?

Every week he shoots you one time in any body party chooses, but you get a raise every week Until you basically on the show. You knew that is. Yeah chung sung we chung sung we That's his name right the guy that shut up virginia tech. Oh my god. I don't want to talk about that shit I have to talk about it. No, let's talk about bts. I want to talk about bts But I want to talk about him too. I want to talk about bts real fast. All right, go ahead No, but can I tell you what happened though? You fuck? I just oh here we go clockwise from left. Here's their names. Okay One's just named the letter v Really? Yeah king tae hyun also known by a stage name v south korean singer. Then there's j hope

Yeah, better known. Oh, that's jung ho siuk. Yeah, he's cute. Yeah, let's rate them Yeah, okay, let's give him. Okay. Let's give him a go the v first v is that's the ugly one I'm gonna give him a three. I just can't do it with him. Yeah. Yeah, I four. He's got too many gaps in his teeth j hope hot Yeah, an eight that's an eight or a nine eight or nine rm Oh Wow, I not you know, they take good pictures of him. That's kim nam june, of course. Everybody knows him as rm Yeah, I think I'll give him a

Six five and a half six then jinn himself. Everyone. Oh jim kim siuk jinn is is the shit He's a 10 10 10. I would he'd suck my dad. How do you say 10 in korean? 10 And then jimin is uh Oh, you know what? You know, I like but this is park jimin. Everyone knows park is someone who's uh Look at and the photo says it all cute and flirty and I love sugary cereal. He's a cute guy. He's cute. Yeah I like him. Yeah, and then who do we got left? We have five more jung kook. Yeah jung kook. Oh That's a that's a villain in a movie, huh?

This actually looks like if you photoshopped if you know if someone did like a de-aging thing on on you Yeah, that could be that was like you when you're a little boy That looks like you maybe he's the type of guy that like at a party He comes out naked and they think that he's doing the um buffalo bill thing where he's tucking his dick around Yeah, the man giant and people are like stop doing that. He's like i'm not doing it And last is suga or uh, that's a that's a good one too minyun gi is a gi or gi gi I don't fucking know bro. Dude. You speak it. I don't barely you speak it enough. I've heard you say it So anyway, can I tell you what happened? So bts?

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Bad friend shipping with the code bad friend at manscape.com that's 20% off with free shipping at manscape.com just use the code Bad friends. That's right. Yeah, let me fucking tell you what happened So my mom and I um my mom, you know, maybe a couple years ago, baby. I I want to But I want to watch all your Itunes movies. She wants to watch all your itunes movies. Yeah. Yeah, and your um I like Elton John. So I want to listen to all you the music you have on your So I go easy mom. Let's just link up our fucking phones, right? So you can have my itunes account, whatever, right? Got it But so during this so I fly my mom because my dad died remember in august

So I just I decided to like try to do things with my mom and so I wanted to take her to Maui and do all the road to Hana and do all the shit, right? Yeah and so She would be like hey when mom we're gonna go She's like I tired She would say Again, but we have the plant a plant I my back. I tired

She probably was tired and in pain. No, she wasn't and so we go. All right. We're leaving without you So we left. Yeah, and so on my phone And and this is not an exaggeration because Kalilah and my brother counted Probably 10,000 BTS screenshots Right on my phone from every time she was just screenshotting pictures of them. Yes Right, so now I have to delete like you you're just deleting thousands at a time of course and when you delete them

She would add another thousand. Wait. Why would she was she doing it on accident? Does she not know she's not She purposely And so basically her back hurts, right? But that's not what it is. No, she's just sitting in the hotel room Screen she's obsessed because when we on her Christmas all she wanted to do one one it was BTS photos And posters and shirts and memorabilia. Yeah, did you get that for her? Oh, yeah Can you get her to a show?

No, she's done Why she's fucking done with it? She's done with the fucking BTS. It's crazy. It's weird and we're not doing it anymore. What's weird about it? She's lonely. She's an older woman. She finds a lot of joy in these young little korean boys What's wrong with that because she says shit like How come you don't look like this? You know when she says that yeah, hold up a mirror to her And just go well actually my mom if you if you look at my mom

Actually, your mom is active in her in her 40s and 30s and stuff. She was hot as fuck I know and your dad was ugly a shoe your father looked like my dad was like, you know They laid him down on his back and they just said run over nine steam rollers over his face like the big construction kind That's what my dad looked like. I thought you said when he passed away They laid him on his they will aid him on his stomach because they didn't want anybody to see him Yeah, he was an ugly fucker. In fact, I um Even as a kid I remember who looks more like does steve look more like your mom It's a combination, but people say my brother looks a little more like my mom. Yeah, because you don't really look like your mom that much

No, they say that I lean toward my dad a little bit. I don't think you do. I think you're a handsome young man Okay, so what happened? So anyway, so um All day long. I'm like Deleting thousands of bts things. Yeah, and I can't come home and I I could do the hotel room And I knock I open it like just fucking Clint Eastwood, you know the good the bad ugly And I was just like this has to stop She said what did I do? Right, I go you every all you that's all you do is lay down in bed and screenshot bts things

And I know she masturbates to them. No, she doesn't she does no she does she she did her little old yellow kuchi. She just You know what I mean? I wish my son looked like this You know what I mean? Yeah, you're right Yeah, yeah, yeah So I go like uh like when you stir mac and cheese and she go and then she goes but She goes but I lonely. No, I go. I don't give a fuck. Bob. Yeah. Yeah, right. She's lonely. I don't go fuck So then I go um

And then um, I go it's has to stop. It's an addiction. It's fucking weird. You know what I mean? And then she puts her she lays on the bed and she puts her jacket over her head And I could just see this Why you laughing I just see this on the bed Like what's going on mom and my brother takes the jacket off and she's just crying Oh, no, I thought she was laughing. No, no, no, no. She's conv- she goes I'm not hooting anybody That's right. She's not I know she's not you're so mean. I'm the worst

Why did you do that to her because I had to fucking all day long Delete make calli- ask callila to do it. She knows that she can we would hand the phone in the fucking car I go you do a thousand She just would keep doing it. Yeah, and then you would finish it Yeah, and there would be another fucking thousand then get her own her own iCloud and they just pay for it So it's not that's what we did. Yeah after all the pictures were taken. Yeah, but then what enraged me is is that My fucking iPad is linked to So I haven't even started with the iPad. I probably have 20,000 bts

And I have to look at their fucking stupid faces and erase them. I love them I don't know why you don't like them. I think we should get your mom tickets to see bts live Can we do that? Well only if we get backstage Do you think we have access to something like that? bts concert tickets. Who are you with agency wise? Uh, uta. Okay. Look at there. They are right there. Here we go. Seoul, South Korea. Seoul, Korea their motherland Santa Clara, so that's up in san francisco. Yeah, pasadena may second Let's buy her these tickets pasadena may second. They're gonna be here

Look on the screen right there may second rose bowl pasadena may second I gotta see who they're up by or sunday may third Okay, we're going me and you. We'll okay. We'll go. Can we go for real? We can go for sure I'm gonna go but we have to get we anyone listening to bad friends. Hopefully this is out by the time the show starts Yeah, this will be out. Okay. So um anyone listening to me now right now And if you have anything to do with bts or have any connect kind of connections My mom is obsessed with them obsessed and I wouldn't be able to take her there if we have like Shit seats

So we would love backstage passes and just a meet and greet and that would like be my mom. My mom's really old She's almost 80 and it would um she might rape them So, yeah, it's fine. She don't think they'd be into that. I think they'd be into it But my mom is a huge fan. So um so may second or third if anybody has any kind of hook up for for bts We're dead serious This would mean the world to bobby's mother to take her because she is lonely and bobby is restrictive over her fun Look at that dude. Look at how fun. Look at how cute and fun. They are But you know, there's an epidemic going on right that um, what do you mean last year?

I think about five or six k old k pop stars have killed themselves shut up Yeah, so what happens is these kids go through the system, right? Yeah, where they're like on fire they're hot because it's all just you know manufactured It's all it's some executive going. I'll take this gook this gook This can't they're pretty and then we'll put them together We'll write songs for them. Wow and um, and then what happens is when they're 23 24 They get shot out of the Yeah, you know the system and then they don't know what to do with their lives two of them actually the last year got

Charged with gang rape not bts, but oh xk part pop stars I would love bts way more if they were gang rapists. Yeah, look at the k-pop singer guhara found dead age 28. Yeah So they've been they're killing themselves all these people just commit suicide when they when they're not famous anymore Yeah, yeah, I wish some people in hollywood would do that That's so sad You know what I just saw something I saw the saddest thing. I saw vince neal Do a cameo. What do you mean? Oh the oh the singer vince? Yeah. Oh my god. Yeah, and he's like he's like there's another one Hey, toby. It's me vince neal. Happy birthday

Johnny taco time. Rodriguez sent you this You know, I love tacos Anyway, it's me vince neal. Happy birthday, dude. What's wrong with that? It's just so sad So what do you do those things? Are you out of your mind? They approached me. I was just like, we're not gonna charge $10 Cameo, how much do you think vince neal charges? He $400 Shut up. Yeah, $400 for fucking one happy birthday. Yeah, shut up. Yeah, that's what it said How do I find out here? We go. Let's see. Let's see how much they are vince neal Vince neal vince neal. There we go motley motley cruise singer $400 book right now

Don't book it. Please don't book it. Can we hear what he's saying? I'll get a backer request for you or anybody love or maybe not even love So give me a shout See ya. What? You don't find that to be sad. Hey, I'm vince neal from motley crew Hey, give me a shout out and I'll get a backer request for you or anybody love I used to sell us stadiums What? Yeah, but $400 Give me another celebrity. See what they're charging. Let's pick somebody. Who let's pick someone. Who do you think?

Um, let's see if I'll met Ahmed say on that Is I met a man on it. Yeah, he is. Yeah, 25 $25. Hey, all you people out there and I don't know why it's not working now What happened? It was no, no, it was so outouts to your friends family co-workers Happy birthday. Happy anniversaries. So mean congratulatory messages anything you want. We love the family happy to do it And uh, hope to hear from you guys soon Make it someone should just be crying. They should just be like

Yeah, who would be really fun. How about drake? I think that said drake. There's no way drake. There's no way drake Please drake No, no those guys aren't gonna do you're on fire I think this is for people that are like on their way out like us On their way out, you know, look at how many people said bobby lee. No, no, I wouldn't do it. I didn't sign up Who else do you want to see that's on here? Uh, let's see if theos on it is delia on here. There's no way No, yeah, feel Vaughan. No, Theo's not on here. Hey, man. What's up, dude? Happy birthday, dude I heard about your dad is sick. Oh, there's brian posane. We know him. He's a comedian. Let's see how much brian is charging 75

Hey, i'm brian posane actor comedian I played Bert On big bang theory people seem to like that show especially okay Yeah, uh, let's you we should do one as a cross thing. I will do one together with you. I'm dead serious if we do how much are we gonna charge though? 10 grand How much how much?

500 let's do five. Let's just see if anyone does 500. How about a thousand? There's no one does a thousand. There's no way you can do a thousand. I'm sure there is I'm sure god free. What does gilbert charge? Gilbert charges a buck 50 Okay, I think we can go 200. Oh, this is this is jim norton's character chip chiperson and he charges 69 dollars See, this could be funny when you do a character. Yeah valentine's day is fast approaching You're dating a piece of garbage. You don't want to buy our chocolates because she's fat You don't want to buy him flowers because he's afraid it's gonna make him gay

So the best thing you can give how about a valentine's day wish from chip chiperson relax I'll make the pig feel a lot better See that's the way to go. That's the way to go. Yeah. Here you go filter price Let's do the most. Let's do 500. It says is the most. Yeah, let's do only 500s than here. Yeah, yeah, minimum 500 I want to see who only the 500s are Okay Chris Harrison from the bachelor Uh-huh, kevin oliri from 1200 dollars kevin oliri the fucking shark tank guy. Oh, wow 1200 dollars. Wow

Uh, kareem adujabara is 500 marshal falk 500 795 what a weird price. Just be fucking 800. Yeah, yeah asshole. Do you know who jordan belford is right? No That's the wolf of wall street. That's who the movie's based on. Oh, oh Look, okay. Go go go dick van dyke. Oh, no. I know. Oh Oh, no Hi, i'm dick van dyke the older version You know, i'm with camion now So if you'd like me to uh, send a message to a friend, you know

Tell them you love them and happy birthday. Happy valentine's day. Yeah. Oh, you know, maybe just Good wishes. Tell them you're thinking of it Tell me what you want me to say and i'll do it Okay, uh, this is me. He's a legend. He's a legend. I know this though. I do want to hear I do want to hear It's really funny because when they talk you could just talk over them rap report. Oh, yeah, where's rap? Oh rap is 150 Oh, that's good Who is this?

Oh Oh the animated series batman Who gives a fuck? Who gives a fuck? Who's this guy too? This is an actor from willan grace, huh? Yeah. What's he charging? Seven a seventy five dollars. Yeah. Yeah. Hold on. Oh, simon rex. We know we know him 69 dollar andy dick is a hundred. Uh-huh. Now. Let's hear what andy s decided. Andy is probably funny. Yeah Yo, oh there i am

What's everybody doing? How are you doing? It's andy dick Stoked to be on cameo so I can get in touch with my friends and fans If I still have any I'm wearing my little uh turn of the century christmas carol jam jams watching pice land and Hit me up He's great. I love andy. He's fucking great. Yeah, he's great. We needed our podcast

You know what did I tell you what happened? I saw I mean I watched it. No, but you know what he did Yeah, he goes hold on a second I got friends here. You know, I used to live in that apartment What on beach? Oh your bowl place. Yeah, my old place. Yeah So we stop it and then 12 dudes are in my living room What? Yeah, and he's just out there like conniving out there Right, so I go george keep the door open

So when andy did the podcast so I can see what they were doing because I thought they were they look like hooligans Right trouble. It was trouble makers. Yeah trouble makers. Yeah Manny Pacquiao's a thousand. Um, let's let's can we just see his yeah, sure. Please sure ready. Yeah So silly Um Hello lister and the asses. I want to wish you a happy birthday and uh wish you all the best Should not be your opening thing here

Okay, manny just record a quick video. It's not that big a deal. Just say hello to your fans This is how you get money from them. So let's uh, let's let's hear what you got there But just just let us know energy manny energy high high energy High energy would be great. It's called cameo and we told you what it was We told you what it was and all you all you literally have to do is just get on there and just let him know Just read the card that we have just read the card that we wrote for you. Okay. Go ahead manny. Whenever you're ready bud Whenever you're ready Hello lister the asses. I want to greet you a happy birthday and uh wish you all the best and my

Birthdays to come in your life. Um, but they do come and give you good help and I just want to let you know that your kids Uh, uh, they love you so much and it sounds like a hostage video If you want them to live you have to pay me On the other side of the camera is the Joker This is interesting, but I gotta tell you for a thousand dollars if he's getting a thousand and look he's already done There's five right there. That's he just got six grand in front of our face in one day

Wait, she just wait There they are one two three. That's from today. Yeah latest. It says today. This is today, right? Yeah, one two three better help the world's largest e-counseling Palat for alarm. That's right. It's a largest e-counseling platform Bob Is there something interfering with your happiness or preventing you from achieving your goals a lot a ton of stuff What's getting in your way you I'm getting in your way. Yes Well, let me tell you let me tell you something. Yeah. Yeah better help is going to assist your needs and match your match your own

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So go to betterhelp.com you should go to betterhelp.com Andrew I will right slash slash bad friends bad friends And it'll help you go ahead and it will help you that's better help And join the over 700,000 people taking charge of their mental health with the help of an experienced professional Special offer for our bad friends peeps listeners get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com slash bad friends Yes, oh, wow. Yeah, so he just made $5,000 today To do is he need more money? Yes Yes, the way that because these guys spend money like fucking I understand that but you know, it's like come just say something. All right

You know once I listen once I got a door deal at comedy clubs. Yeah, I decided I'm not selling merch Look at this by the way. Do you know why? Yeah Because I'm getting so much money at the door. Why would I rape them for more money? I get I get that so it's like for me. It's like that's what he lives So that's why he needs more money, dude. He can trust me He could afford that and 15 other ones that look just like that I know but then to keep them alive it can't cost so much fucking money to the extra five grand is what because That's what's gonna fucking. That's the water in the fountain. That is that's his fountain built

Five grand a month is his if I was here. I'd be like fuck the fountain, but I don't need fountain Yeah, wait, but you saw here's the thing though. I don't do merch at shows because honestly more because I don't want to lug I'm around so all I do is I have the the red rocket posters and I sign those But it's more from how much do you charge 20 bucks? For a great piece of art made by great artists that I sign and they can keep as like a memento of the show What's wrong? I mean, that's fine. Yeah, but I just don't want to lug t-shirts and stuff It's more that I don't want to do it. Yeah, I don't Delia Delia does it and he makes like a hundred fucking thousand dollars probably an hour

Well, his little fucking pussy bitch does it for him. Who's this little pussy bitch? Michael linochi. Who is that? It's his opener So mean. Yeah, he has little So mean he's a great comic. He's great and you're being mean And you're being mean Can I tell you what he's done to me? Michael? Yeah, tell me because I he's a good guy as far as I'm concerned All right, I'm gonna tell you some Michael linochi stories and maybe that'll change your mind

Okay, give it to me. All right. First of all, Michael linochi He's bringing a picture for people that want to see what he looks like He used to be a cheerleader in high school. No. Yeah, really? Yeah. Yeah, seriously Yeah, he used to be the in the show cheer. He used to be the guy that holds the woman up. Here's him looking really cute There he is. Okay. That's linochi. That's Mikey. So he's friends with the fihim anwar. Yeah, I love fihim He's so fihim anwar used to open for me all the time. Yeah So many years ago. This is before um, linochi sucked delias dick To get the so mean to get the opening spots sucked it hard too. I heard but anyway

Yeah, so uh fihim comes to me goes, you know, my friend Michael linochi. I go, you mean that jock that used to cheerlead Why do you have such a beef with him? I'll tell you what he did. All right, go ahead I I didn't say that at the time, but this is how I tell the story now because I know I know. Yeah, yeah So, um, I he goes his his family is going to be in florida fort lauderdale. Can you emcee? I've never seen him, but if he's your friend, fuck it. Let's do it. Yeah, that's yeah So we fly him out there the whole thing, right? He does okay, right? Right, so sunday night. I get a call from my friend paul. He's a big radio guy down there Yeah, and there's another director friend of mine. I can't recall his name right now

But he did that movie cocaine cowboys. Oh, I love that movie So both of them call me and they go, um, hey, we won't take you to your favorite restaurant So I go oh Okay, cool. But can I bring my openers? Billy Corbin. Yeah, you get Billy. I love him. Yeah, he goes. Can I bring my openers and paul and billy go? Yeah, sure. It'll be on the house. We'll take care of them. We got enough money. We'll do it So we're in a packed restaurant. We're at dan marino's table At at this restaurant. Oh really? Yeah, he's not there. I thought you meant his restaurant

No, it was somebody else's right, but he has a table that yeah, do you remember the name of the place? Yeah runway 84 or something like that. Wow. Yeah. Yeah, so, um, so you're there. You're at dan marino's table And it's slam packed by the way Yeah, right and so, um At the end of the meal the owner. Yeah, anthony's runway 84. Wow. It's beautiful. It looks beautiful It's beautiful and it's uh the best italian food. I think in south florida and it's supposed to make it look like you're on an airplane Yeah, that's hacky as shit. Yeah, but it's been there forever. So I'm in in fact the owner the reason why I can get a table there

He's a huge fan of curbie enthusiasm. Oh, he is. Yeah, every time I go in there. Hey, he says my character's name and everything What was your character's name? I forget. Bong Joon Ho Bong Joon, no, don't don't don't don't don't don't if you fucking do a bong ju bong ju again Don't don't point it at my fucking face. Don't fucking say that. Okay Sorry So, um for people that don't know that they're listening via audio only bobby has a gun and he keeps pointing it at me And it's

Fucking it's loaded. It is it is loaded. It is. I know it is and the safety's on but I can I know how to take it Can I finish the fuck there's two stories. So yeah, all right, so So, um the owner of the restaurant sits down with us It's a slam packed and at the end we all get up from the table and the owner goes Hey, let's do a group photo shop like shot a photo picture a picture And I go, all right, who's gonna take it and the guy goes Well, our staff is so slam right now. I go, oh, uh, Mike Mike Mike linochi. You take the photo And Mike looks at me goes no

I go, hey, I laugh I go. Yeah, just take the photo man. No Yeah, I'd love it. So I go I go I put my finger on the table take the fucking photo I'm not taking the photo man. I want to be in the photo So the guy and he the owner has to run around the restaurant now to find somebody to take the photo Okay, right a staff a staff member. Yeah, and it's slammed right so it's there's now a level of stress Yeah, but now I'm in such a rage Right because my mc opener. Yeah wouldn't take the fucking photo, right? So now you're fucking pissed Rageful. Yeah. Yeah, I want to ruin his career

Right, that's all the all the ways I can ruin his career, right? So we get back in the car they find a bus boy. Yeah, I take it So, you know, and he's sweating this bus boy is sweating because he's gonna run around this fucking restaurant He has to do real work real work. Yeah, so he takes the photo I don't know what she's in it We get in the car and I I go bro In this situation I'm your fucking boss dude. I'm paying for all you know me all this and he goes

You're not my boss. You're my friend What did you say and I just completely shut down The door closed right and then I go never again Never again in my head. You never talked to him ever again. Well, that was yeah the thinking but then cut to five years later Five fucking years. You didn't talk to him. No, I would I would kind of avoid him in the hallway. I would say hi You know, I'm not that mean but I would look I'm in the hallway at the store and I'm him and you're you say hi Hey, Bobby, what's up? What's up, dude? And just walk away. Whoa That's ice cold. Yeah, there are a couple of guys. I can name their names. I don't give a fuck that I won't even give them that

Go on Kevin Shea. Yeah. Yeah, we know that. Yeah, we know that So, um Five years later. He comes up to me. He goes, hey, man. I've changed That that's the intro. Yeah. Hey, I've changed man. What did you say? I go, what have you changed? You know, and you go, I'm like, I know you're doing San Diego can I open I don't know what came over me. I went, you know what dude?

I'm a forgiving man in my head. You know, yes, you are and I'm gonna dolly llama this Yeah, man. What? I'm gonna be like present and peaceful and peaceful and peaceful about it. Yeah So now he's emceeing for me in San Diego at La Jolla No, the comedy store. No at the american comedy company. Oh, right. Okay. Yeah. Mm-hmm. So No, not for me. Why? Cause of Justin. No, no, no, I play the store anytime I go down there. It's like the I would do I would do I would do the store

If the manager of the store didn't fuck me over the way he did. How did he fuck you? Well, that's another that's another story, right? so um So linochi is opening for me and um, this one took me over this. This is the fine. This is the nail in the coffin nail in the coffin. Yeah, so I um second show on a Saturday, I don't know what the fuck happened, but he brings me up And at that time I needed the stool to do two bits. What were they? I forget

I had a ninja bit that I did I needed the stool for I know your ninja bit. Yeah, and I had another bit But I needed it. They were like my toward my end good closing bits. Yeah, I needed them. Sure So, um He brings me up on stage. I get on stage. There's no stool So I whisper in his ear. I go hey, dude, um while I'm up while I'm up here. Just go get me a stool Yeah, grab a stool. Right, right So I'm on stage and I can see him in the audience flirting with women

Right and I'm on stage And I'm telling jokes and I could just see him and then I see him with the doorman like they're like He's poking their stomachs. Yeah, they're like giggling, right? And I'm just on stage just eyeing this behavior pissed pissed live it right. He doesn't even ask for a stool No, he's trying to get pussy trying to get pussy, right? You're looking for a stool and I'm not kidding you It was the word. I can probably in my lifetime. I've had top five worst shows ever done. No way That's in my top five. There's no way it was that bad. I swear to god Just because you didn't have the stool because you were in your head. It was in my head

So every joke was coming out really angry and weird. Yeah, right? And then I'm literally eating it. I'm not even kidding you. I'm I did don't believe it to me It felt like open mic night Shut up. You just were in your head. I was in my head. I was in a rage because you were staring at him Right. Did he take a girl out of the room? Did they did he end up talking to somebody or did he just leave? He left without this without giving trying to get a stool Do you remember No, he didn't get a girl

But he just took off Yeah, and then when so I'm eating it and it ended my show He I and I'm like now sweating Mm-hmm, and I go that's my time On stage, right? That's my time. He comes up on stage. Just you know with this, you know, I mean happy and I look at him I go, that's it We're done Yes, you wrote him off and and that was it. That's it

We're done. So now you don't even say hello to him. No, I do we joke around Oh, you just didn't you'll say I never will the problem was is that he he's a survivor. He's like a little roach You know, you see there's a lot of roaches out there. Mm-hmm. He's talented guy and he's probably gonna make it I like him. I like him too, but I like to make it. I like that. You hate him. I think that's funny No, I don't hate him. I love him Michael if you're listening because I'm gonna do something with him next week. What are you doing? He has some sort of internet show he wants me to do. Okay. I'm gonna do it Also, could I just say this?

Lino Chi was also a guy that I used to use even after that where I would make him But this is why I could do this why I could go. Hey dude five in the morning Stand outside your place He goes why at 7 a.m. I have a fucking audition. You're running lines And he would do it. Yes, he would wake up. I'd be on the side of a fucking road He would get in my car I would give him sides and we would run it for an hour and a half. I wouldn't have to pay him or anything That's really nice. Would you buy him a coffee or something? Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing

You just let him in and get him out. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I would kick him right out, right? And even like little things like this. So I'm a little mean to him, but I'm good with him He's just never gonna open for me again. So then you were done with him when you're disposed of him when you're done with him Yeah, I'm not done with people like, you know, like forever like I can't talk to you, but like in terms of working That's it. That's it So now you're never gonna want to work with what's his name ever again? Peter Weller because he fucked you over on No, no, no, you know, you know, if I ever do Magnum again, I'm gonna ask now who the director is And if he's doing you won't do the episode it depends

Here's the phone call ready. Yeah Hello Hey, Bobby. It's uh, it's uh, Micah Schofeld. I am Uh, you know, you know, just let me do the fucking character What is it? Well gene Hong would call me But gene Hong is let the shout out to gene Hong

Wait, I'm not picking up yet Shout out to gene Hong Gene Hong is a co executive producer on magnum p. I he's my boy. He's the one that writes all the episodes for me And he's so talented. I love you so much. All right Yeah Don't fucking point it at me So We should make we should make an aside for people that aren't only listening on audio the gun that bobby's pointing at me

It's an airsoft gun. It's not a real fucking gun. It only took us 40 minutes to talk about the gun. That's right. So, um, hello Hello Hey, bob gene. What's up? What's up, brother? How are you? Hey, bro, bro Uh, listen, dude, I want you to come back out and do a couple of more epi's of mag mag p. I'm who's directing Guess what what peter weller. Okay? Hey, bye. Wait, wait, wait. Bobby. Bobby. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Yeah, check it out. What? We're gonna give you 150 000 an episode. Yep. I'll do it. All right. Yeah, I mean, okay ready and it's dope, isn't it? I love it's the only thing that look at me. I'm not joking

It changed the way I sleep We I put I both of my beds have it now Okay, I want to say this all my beds the honest truth is is that I when you said Buffy and you're like take you take it home and you go trust you go. I trust me You know me it's good, right? I because your restaurant tastes tastes are so bad Really? Like what that one diner that you took me to my point is is let me finish my let me just finish my name the diner And then we'll talk Name the diner that 24 hour place down on ventura that you took me to that mom and pop place

Well, you have breakfast and stuff Yeah, yeah, mama papa ventura. Anyway, my point never go that that's craved cafe That was because it was just in the middle. It doesn't matter. I was hiking. I know but the thing is is that right? That's not my restaurant taste. I know, but you're bad tasting things. Okay, so just stop getting angry man And just listen and absorb it. Oh absorb your shit talking. Is that shit talking? Okay, tell the truth the truth is is that I thought you had bad taste and shit And then when you told me this Buffy blanket, I like it's probably gonna be bad And I brought it home and it's the best blanket betting

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Visit Buffy.co and enter the code bad friends enter it Okay, that's what it is. You see the photo No of what of you and you and me and peter wheeler I'm wheeler whatever his name is peter wheeler Robo look at that. Oh That's a great photo. Who took that? A camera man I smoke did he smoke a cigar on set? No that we were outside smoking together. Whoa, so it's not no

It's not as if like we're not we hang out. He looks tight. Yeah. He's tight. He looks like a cool dude He's a cool dude, but it's not it's not you know when I when I have A relationship. Yeah, I'm Bobby Lee. Yeah, no, I know who the fuck you are right, but so um, I have a little confidence You know when I was young I did a show called arlas when I was a young kid Yeah, we remember that show but he was a basketball manager. Yeah, yeah, right? So I did like what was his name? Oh, I hate that. I hate that fucking. He's a comedian. Yeah, here's let me just don't even google it Let me think of it. No, I'm gonna google it and you can think of it. Okay Okay

Arlas TV show did I spell it wrong? Isn't it 2s? It's something. Yeah, it is arlas. I was right Robert wool Robert wool Robert wool. Yeah, and he's like and he's got that kind of he's like smarmy a little bit. Yeah So when I was on that show Um, I was so scared. I didn't know who the director was. I didn't know what was going on I just remember being you know, I was 28 years old 27 years old. You act like that's like super young Yeah, but I only started when I was 23 Yeah, I guess and also I'm from a small town and I

I'm from San Diego from poway though. It's like a little askew. It's in San Diego. It's yeah, but it's north county It's deep in the woods. There's no woods. I know but there are trees There are trees there. I promise you you're 28 you gone arlas. You're nervous. Robert wool isn't nice to you Yeah, and so I'm just scared. I don't know what a jib is. I don't know what you know the tech terms I didn't know anything about it, right? So, you know, when they say, all right, you're done with the scene You know, you screw it to your dressing room and just wait, you know, I mean, but now You know, you you fuck around with the cameraman. I know everybody. I know that I know you hang out You know, I mean, it's you know, the stars of the show or your friends, you know, you know how to do it, you know

so um, but um So I can hang out with a guy like him and we can jab and sure I my honest opinion is is that when when Yeah, I used to I used to um do commercials by with a guy named Joe Pitca Yeah, and he was like the Steven Spielberg of um commercials commercials. He was the king He did the bow nose Campaign what yeah, he did that was my favorite shit on earth as a kid when Michael Jackson got his head caught on fire with a Pepsi commercial

It was him. Really? He did all the Britney Spears. He was the biggest one, but he was seven foot Two White hair down to his back And he was the meanest son of a bitch. I've ever asked Ari Shafir about him We were why is he's why is he so mean because Shafir used to do commercials for him Do Eric stone street did a bunch like 60 from him 60 yeah one time he he had the I'm not kidding you

He goes, all right I want the crew the cameraman and everyone on set to form a circle So they formed a circle They put me in the middle of the circle. Yeah, and they go point your finger They point their finger at me and everyone repeat after me. You're the worst actor on planet earth. You are making this. I'm not The entire crew did not say this. Yes. Yes, you're the he's the guy That beat the shit out. He got in a fist fight With a fucking actor

Nice that he hired. I love this guy. Yeah, you I know that's your that's your wheelhouse. Yeah, the guy's disciplined Discipline You're the worst actor on that's amazing. Whenever I in fact when I when I run into people like that, I think of you Yeah, yeah, what is his name? This guy's my fucking hero joe pittka Joe pittka. Yeah, I want to link up with pittka bad Whoa, he looks like vego from fucking ghostbusters I know

So, oh my god, this is joe. Yes, joe pittka. Does this give you weird flashbacks? Oh my god I'm getting ptsd right now. There's actually there's one commercially did that's on youtube that with me and eric stone straight in it Can we find it? It's ibm bobby lee ibm bobby lee. Yeah That was a chid joe pittka This one was a say bank robbers. Yeah, that's it There's no money here. There's no money. No money. Where is it somewhere safe? This is the safe somewhere safer safer. How hardware encryption smart cards, you know, digital security Who are you? I'm from the help desk. Who are you?

cleaning crew This place is a mess You guys have come a long way That was some of the worst fucking acting I've ever seen in my life and I mean it with every ounce of my body Who are you? I don't I'm the we're the cleaning crew. It's a mess in here But you have to understand, you know, it's stiffness was incredible I know because I can't be loose with I have when I'm under the a dictator

Right. You while you look like a dictator sitting with your shaved head in that chair Why'd you was that from ad tv you shaved? No, I just I won't for one year. I would just had to do a monk thing But you didn't have the attitude of a monk Okay, well don't don't make fun of my acting right now. That's not why we pulled that fucking thing up I'm not I'm not I'm not can I show you look we've all done commercials. Yeah, give me. Yeah, I'll show you Well, I don't even know if it's still up, but the first one I did was Mike's hard lemonade. I'm dead serious NASCAR It probably doesn't exist down here anymore

Yeah, no, there's no that means you didn't do it. I did if it's not on youtube you didn't do it. Well I'm telling you I did it. I don't I don't know where it is now. I'm a NASCAR commercial Yeah, no, oh, maybe this is it No There you go It was that it was it was that a racetrack I did another one with kevin christy. I love kevin christy was not a comic I'm the one that got him to do comedy

You got him to stand up because you did the because I met him on an 8 p.m. PM commercial Too much good stuff What too much good stuff. Yeah, and then um We became friends there and then one time I ran into him at amoeba Yeah, and he goes I wanted to stand up. I go. Let's go to the store and then he just started doing it. Really? Yeah And you were the one that convinced him to do it. Yeah, do you do you know what it's called? Yeah, amp. P.m. Maybe bobby lee. I don't know You can barely see me in it. I'm like the fourth friend. No

I know it is online somewhere. I just don't know what to google. Sorry. It doesn't matter But the point is yeah, we yeah the commercial the commercial thing was tough for me. I really it became like a weird cattle call Yeah, they're all cattle calls, but it made me emotionally feel fucked up when I would go for a role and then I would see the kid who worked in the casting director's office get the role And I was like he fucking works there. Oh You know that one and that used to kill me. I was like well that guy fucking works there There was a comic who was a cameraman for an agency who do you know who was I forgot his name But he would be the guy that you would he would call you in. Oh, you oh you read with him

And he would be and he would get half of them Yeah, because he would put himself on. Mm-hmm. Yeah, it was the worst. Did you ever go to south labor edge? You used to go down. Oh, yeah. Well, is that where the petco is? Yeah. Yeah all the time In fact, there a nightmare happened where me and johnny sanchez. We had like nine callbacks for mountain dew Right. It was like a big campaign a lot of money. It was down to four guys Right, so they would pay it would they needed two guys. Yeah, so they paired me and johnny and some these two other guys And we would go in and then they would leave and johnny would go in And I remember us four standing in the hallway and the castor and it goes

You you you're out to you and johnny. Yeah, and we just Three days of going back there Right for nothing. Yeah, we're two dudes that you've never even heard of yeah, but they don't give a fuck It's a look thing. Commercials are like, what do they look like? Dude at 200 south. This is an insane story I just like it popped into my brain. Remember they have those benches. They're like carpeted benches. Yeah, right? A little girl. There's always was kids on kid auditions all the time. There was a million little kids running around This is insane. I just remember this and I'm so livid because they called me back for this thing And I just was like I didn't want to go. I knew I wasn't going to get it

I could tell because I could tell they didn't like me You know, they just wanted you back and they're like, yeah, we have to get 10 people back in anyway and I'm sitting there And it was the afternoon. It was hot as shit. It was the middle of the summer and I'm sweating sitting on this bench And I'm wearing a fucking sport coat and I look over and they're all these kids are playing on the benches And this girl is jumping up and down on the bench Dude, yeah jumping up and down and her mother goes get off And she goes she goes why why she goes get off I'm not kidding. Yeah out of out of like the worst fucking hilarious horror movie

She runs up to her daughter and grabs her by the neck And throws her off the bench. Yeah, I'm not kidding. Like a seven-year-old girl throws her off And then she falls to the ground and she starts crying and the parents are like, oh my god And she's like, I was just trying to grab I was just trying to grab her arm and she I mean She'd write in this little girl's neck. Yeah, and threw her off the fucking bench. Yeah, it's insane and that made my day I was like, I don't care if I don't get the commercial that was a fucking hilarious She grabs her little daughter by the neck She looked like she was trying to just get her body, but she went right for her throat

I mean, yeah, it was all that parental when you hear about parents that want to kill their kids After years and years it builds up. It was the moment that she was like wow. Yeah, I watched her go Throw it wasn't about throw you think she got the part. She did she booked it. Maybe maybe it was a petco commercial People don't realize how demeaning those things are it's like Yeah The worst is when you go to like a cattle call commercial I did it thousands of them Yeah, where you sign up and it's like one line like He did it. Yeah, let's say that's the line. Where are they going? Yeah, where are they going?

Right, that's the line and you're sitting there and just you have to wait an hour At least and then you see douchebags. You know what I mean? Just standing up and just going Where are they going? Where are they going? Where are they going? Yeah, yeah, and you're like we're going nowhere That's what I would say nowhere This is where we're at. Yeah, this is it the bottom. We're at the bottom. Yeah. Yeah, but they would take it so seriously Oh my god, they pace around they would make me they wouldn't make me nervous

They would make me anxious because people would pace I hate it when people pace and auditions. It makes me so great I hate it when you know what I hate worse is when I um You're you're memorized you're focused And then six comics, you know walk in. I fucking hate that. It's the worst and they just slap you And then you're out, you know done, but I have I have the key to it And this is the mentality if you're a commercial actor, this is the mentality that you need Okay

You have to do you have to do two things. Yeah, you have to um Pretend that you're kind of grateful to be there But the second thing right? Yeah, is is that this is underneath me and I'm doing you a favor You it's a duality. It's a duality of those two things. So it's like when you slay it's like You know what slating is is that during commercial auditions? They go, all right. Say your name and you go I'm bobby lee. I'm five four profiles and you do your profiles stand at the side stand at the other side So I do it like this is what I do. This is so gross, but I go If they say do do your profile. Okay. Okay. Go ahead and slate. What do I go ahead and slate?

What is it? Oh, say your name and then you're writing the camera Hey, Bobby, you know, I make it seem like oh, you do you goof around, right? I don't and then I always try to make a joke like I only do one profile because other ones, you know, let's flat flat anyway I'll make a joke. My face is flat anyway. I'm the cast renderer Yeah, all right, Bobby So could you just read the line the line of course is right there and it just says this tastes exactly like apple juice That my grandmother used to make go ahead. Uh, can improvise We'd rather you're not. This is maths. All right, and it's family. Yeah, there's a family

So that tastes like the apple juice my grandmother used to make. Uh, this is the well Bobby let us count you in I don't want it. I'm getting panicked. Okay. I feel nervous right now. I don't know the line and go ahead Yeah, this is just like the cranberry juice my apple used to make You got the part that's exactly how we'd probably do it. Yeah, you'd fuck it up I would fuck it up on purpose and then leave And then I'd get a call back and then that's when That it can backfire. Yeah, the backfire is all the fucking time. Yeah, but sometimes in callback because that's when The ad agency the director the producers they're all there

And there's maybe four guys, right? Maybe they call back four six guys And you know that if you booked this back then you're gonna make anywhere between 15 to 60 grand Yeah, back then there was really good money, right? I don't know what it is now Yeah, yeah, because I haven't done it in years, but like I did one commercial that paid me $350,000 get the fuck out of it was a Joe Pitca What commercial was it? It was a campaign for IBM where I was in an astronaut suit With my friend Aaron Eric Kirchberger from New York 350 grand. Yeah, because we had to fly to Tokyo

Oh, you got you got to fly to Tokyo. They made us. Oh, you didn't want to go to Japan at France We went we did it all over the world And you and that was a bummer for you. You sound like that. That sounds always incredible. It was incredible. Holy shit, Bobby And I was it was a 1998 I had no money. I was living with 11 people. Look at this. This is gonna piss me off so much Have you blown all that money? You've blown all that money? Yeah They're gone. Look at this. Yeah money then and now

This is this always makes me mad the inflation calculator. Look at this. Yeah $350,000 is what you made in what? 1998. Yeah, I use this all the time 1998 350 grand That's a half a million dollars. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah In fuck for a commercial. Yeah, holy fuck The best you don't make that now on tv shows or movies Well, I last two years on a movie two years ago on a movie. You'd never say anything right now out loud. Do it

Jordan peel You know him No, I don't know Jordan fucking peel So he calls me and he goes Yeah Hey, dude, Jordan. What's up? Yeah, all right. Hey, you know Chelsea and I are getting married. Yeah. Yeah, of course. Of course That's you

Don't I he goes. I he goes Anyland doing commercials a commercial for booking.com. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay, and uh We want you in the commercial. Cool. Yeah, and he goes. How much do you want? Million No, why would you say that no one would say that I would say a fucking million Jordan fucking peel Jordan peel it's one day of work. What a million dollars give me a million fucking dollars Jordan peel

You have all the money you could do it. Give me the money. That's not what it That's what he's that's not what he said. All right. You said I didn't say that. What did you say? Give me a half a million. I go I whatever you want. I would have done it for five grand No, you wouldn't have for Jordan. I would have five grand for a fucking big of huge national commercial Stop anyway, it was it's me. It was me jane lynch. Love Uh, Jordan chelsea pruddy and uh, eddie peppatone and keegan keys love so six how fun or fun, right? Yeah And I go, I don't know and he goes It's just a day of work. I don't know. I honestly because I hadn't seen him in a while, you know, and I love him

So I go whatever he goes. I'll just give you What I go, okay For a day of work and I hung up the phone And it wasn't because of the money I literally just started crying Because you know in this business When your friends make it they don't hook you up 99% of them don't they don't yeah, but there are people like him that do yeah, he he And I can tell that he looks at me and he goes

I think still today he looks at me. He goes. Why aren't you bigger? What do you you're what do you mean? How big do you want it? What do you want to be? What do you want to be? You're great. What do you want to be? I tell you this all the time. What are you looking for? Look at you You went to hawaii you took your mother and your brother to hawaii to celebrate you broke her heart about bts But then you shot magnum pi and you get to fly around the world telling jokes And then you come back here and you smoke your cigarettes and you wear your stupid fucking beanie on your huge fucking head

And you live the life of a king you come in here. This is you get to tell you know, this is inhuman nature Yeah, you life is good for you. I know and I'm grateful and I want you want to be What do you want to be? Jun Bong Bong Give me the gun. Yeah. Um, no, um, Bong Joon Hope But here's what happened. So back then Georgia was around right when you got All right, so but this is the thing but at the same time There was a lady

A black lady. Okay. I'll tell you why that that's important. What supposedly I said she was supposedly black Just listened to what the fucking story. Yeah, she was supposedly black. Assumably And um, we were getting emails before that Saying be money extortion I was getting emails going you said something on your podcast and I will alert it to the world If you don't send me 15 grand, right? That happened, right? George can back me up. Holy shit

So we would email back. No, fuck you. Fuck you. Yeah, right? She's like I have connections to vandy fair. I don't just all these fucking places Okay, and it's like I said it on my podcast. It's out there. Yeah, what? Yeah What did you say? I just said that black people were oily Why Why You just were out of nowhere because we did we did a series of of podcasts making fun of races, right? Yeah, so we did we we had asa kiran

We did two episodes one or two full episodes about asians just ripping them apart. Yeah, that's part of what we do Yeah, it's that we did one with mexicans ripping them apart and we did one on blacks Yeah, and the only bad thing I said Which in retrospect was bad is black people are oily. Yes. They're kind of oily, right? You said that Out loud. Yeah. Yeah And she goes i'm gonna what put this on twitter No, I'm gonna fuck you with this if you don't give me 15 grand Wow, did you publish those but you should have published those emails. No, I called cAA

And I just warned them about it. But so now i'm sitting there shooting this commercial And I remember it because i'm sitting laying there with jane lynch Because we have a make-out scene in this commercial And two executives walk up to me And they go can we talk to you And I go what what in the jordan peel commercial? Yeah, yeah, I go what happened We take you out talk to you outside

Yeah, I go outside with them and already it's weird like there's something going on And they go did you call black people? Did you call black people oily and I go no Bobby no, I said that Why because because in my head i'm like my career This this i'm gonna lose this For saying black people are oily. Yeah, it's stupid. We're not gonna lose your fucking career But maybe this commercial i don't know why would he bring me out there all that stuff?

It's a lot of money dude. Yeah, it's like it would you know at the time You know tiger burly had just started. So what happened? So I bet basically they go we know you said it and I go I did I did that so sorry right and they go no we already knew you said we vetted you We yeah, they didn't care. Yeah, we we don't care, but we're just letting you know this lady Came to us You know what I mean and it was like and saying she told us she's making a stink about it How did she know about I have no idea that's fucking crazy

Yeah, so I um I I have a feeling I think I know what male comic it was Go ahead. I can't say it why Because he called me because I started a war with him. Okay, and he called me one day and crying almost saying just listen, I just I won't Talk about you anymore and let's just we're not friends, you know, but just you know stop talking about me I have a family now because you thought you verbally fucked him up so much

Yeah, you kept talking enough shit where finally he was yeah, it crushed him Wow And so then I want to know who the fuck that is. I'll tell you offstage. Okay And so um because he called and he was like very adamant about it Um that not to talk about him anymore because I would have if he hadn't made that call I would have been talking shit right now But you said this so how did what is the connection between this person and the assumable black woman? I think it's him Oh, they're one on the same

And this person is what a white person a guy a white guy. Yeah God, I want to know so fucking yeah But because it was in the same but it could be my own delusional head making connections that aren't really really real Yeah, but that's the person just disappeared off the face of the planet this whoever this allegedly They don't exist anymore Well, this black lady left because I had called cAA and how did you know it was a black lady? Because she said it in the email, right? Did she say that? I'm a black lady. I'm a black woman and I know Hey, Bobby. I'm a black lady. That's how the email started. I don't know. We have the email still or no

I want to show it to the fans so bad. Hey, Bobby. I'm a black lady. Yeah one day you said Yeah, so um black people have oily skin, but we know what's strange about um this new Era, you know of show business because back in the day You know, you could be steve mcqueen You know and treat somebody like shit or you know or you know or talk shit just the opposite by the way You know, he was a really good guy. Well, I like that's a bad example that yeah mortzall Okay, all right. Yeah, whoever it might be right. Yeah, don Rickles. Yeah, whatever it might whoever it might be

there's You you don't You can't somebody a regular person couldn't ruin one's one career One person couldn't ruin one person's career. Yeah, right. It would take a mafia to take nowadays Now you can just start a movement one person can destroy you totally. Yeah Yeah, like you can be destroyed off of like what look I have one to Ari, you know, just something can happen I don't think that's a destroyer. I think that's it. No, he's gonna be fine. It's just bad timing It's just bad timing. He's gonna he's gonna be fine. He's a very talented guy and we love him, but um

It's just an interesting time, you know Well, do you think we get direct feedback right away? But here's the thing Do you think that when we joke around on this podcast, which we do all the fucking time Do you really I the beauty is people know we're fucking kidding And if they don't that's not my problem That's how I feel about it. Yeah, if you don't know that I'm kidding when I start joking with you That's not my problem. That's your problem Yeah, I'm not gonna I'm not gonna spoil a joke that I have now, but it's basically about that

It's like who did it? I'm the bad guy. Are you the bad person? Yeah, because I didn't I didn't say it I'm gonna show you something that happened the other day in hawaii that drove me into hysterics I also want to collect so I posted this photo I posted this photo on his instagram. Oh, yeah, right? And I said I bought these glasses. I'll bring it up here and my girlfriend just called me robert downy syndrome Yeah, I get it. That's what I mean. It looks yeah, so that's the joke. This is the picture right here that bobby posted Right here, right? So that's the joke, right? Yeah, and she had just told me that and you said robert downy syndrome

She took the photo and you go you're robert downy syndrome and I posted it Okay, right because I thought I made me laugh right after this. I laugh. Yeah after this photo Yeah, I posted and this lady goes, you know, I just think it's bad writing and a testament to your Comedy ability that you said that to make fun of people. It's just not funny and um, and I go and I just immediately texted about I go It's funny because the greatest comedians on planet earth just liked it. Yeah, right I don't know who you are because you have 200 followers

And um, also I've been doing this as a living for 25 years. Yeah, I think I know what I'm doing I think I know what I'm doing. I think I've got to figure it out and also people gave Dollars bitch. No, it's not just that it's just that you know, um I hate it when why don't you pay attention to it then? Because it was just it because number one it is funny. Yeah, it is very funny. That's hands down funny. Yeah, right? Mm-hmm, right. I don't give a fuck if you don't think it's funny. You don't know anything about comedy. Yeah, it's funny So, um, that's number one and number two. It's like and then I looked at her say she has an autistic son Oh, great, right?

So it's like, um, she wants to be She wants social justice. That's what it is. She wants to be the she's angry about the the situation she's in and she's now You know fighting for the voiceless. Look, I sometimes I get it why people do that But also you're following a comedian online. What do you think? You think they're gonna say everything? But what I love about my fans is that so I post that yeah comment on that offer her comment And then you just get 30 40 people just going bitch. Yeah, no see that she just deletes it. Yeah. Yeah now you made her feel bad She's shooting a fucking second in the fucking first place

She's starting a war that she can't win. You're right. I want to call someone I'm gonna call someone to find out if what you said if the if this person thinks that the black people are oily comment is racist or not Who is it? Ian? No, hold on It's gotta be somebody. I oh my god It's someone, you know Yo Hey griff

What up? Hey griff. It's bobby. It's santino. What up? Hey, how funny if funny we call a black guy and he's there's a fucking cop in the background, of course Yeah Griff oh my god This better not be This better not be your bullshit podcast right now. It's not right now. We're not. We're having lunch at um sophies at sophies Hey, we have a question for you

Yeah Bobby bobby said on a podcast Blacks black people have oily skin and we want to know if you think that's racist or not I That's just odd. I don't think it's racist. Just odd. There we go. Yeah, if he said it was like shaking oil Right, right if he just said they have oily skin, that's just a weird observation It is a weird observation, but you know Because that's why but you know what it's actually it's sort of accurate because black don't crack

It's because it's oily right. That's what I meant. That's what I meant and also secondly It's like, you know, I'm gonna call Ian right now. I'm gonna see if he's uh He agrees with me or not. All right griff. I love you. We love you griffin. We love you so fucking much. You know that, right? Oh, here we go. You fucking little bitch. Hey, hey, hey everyone having fat fuck everyone listen to Eric griffin's podcast Yeah, riffin with griffin with griffin. It's the fucking shit I knew this was your fucking motherfucker, man. Hey griff griff griff. Can I tell you something? Okay, great, great, let's go. Wait, I'll call him from here. What's that way they can hear it through the headphones Oh, really? I'll get to it. Ian Edwards. Yeah, I'm gonna call Ian

But will it come out as your your number though? Yeah, why good griff is gonna be so mad that we just did that I love it. He's gonna be fucking pissed. Yeah So you want to call in what do you want to ask Ian if it's a racist or not? Okay We are by the way, I'm gonna tell you something. I know He's gonna say yes. No, he's not. Yes. He's my boy, dude. It doesn't matter. You don't know boys When boys are boys. Hello Let's leave a message Ian

What's up? Yeah, yeah, Ian. Yeah, it's it's Santino and bobby lee We're recording our podcast and bobby said something years ago questionably racist Saying that black people have oily skin. We want to know if you think that's bad or not Bobby's feeling bad about it again. I want to see if you can pick it up. I want to see if you'll pick up my phone Okay, this will be embarrassing Yeah Yes, that made me feel good. Oh that honestly made me feel good. Yeah, if he would have picked up though

It would have been so joyous. Who's the most famous person in your phone that you could call right now Oh, I have some who do you have? Who do you have? Who do you have? I have a number of somebody but I know they won't pick up the phone But I'll show you. Okay Look at this one. Which one? That's huge. That's huge. But I know she won't pick up. I don't have I don't have I have See this one

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah pretty big But you won't call I will not call I will not call It's so funny because I'd be so scared because then I'd be like, I don't I don't know what I would say. Yeah Yeah, I'm afraid that it's it's funny that yeah, there are but I have to do codes that have some in there You put on people under different names. Yeah, I'll put natron x Why because I'll just we're think to myself that this huge celebrity. I'll just that's the thing natron x Yeah, and then I'll then years later. I'll forget who natron x is

Do you ever do you have a girl in your phone that's still in your phone from before callila? And then she's still in your phone, but you've changed her name Do you have girls in your phone before callila? I do from x's but you use and you keep them in there Yeah, does callila give a shit? No, she wouldn't care at all. No because I don't call them. What if they called you They do they one of them called me their day like crying about what? About how her career is not going well. Did you do anything to help her? No, I give her like affirmations You reinforced her no, I'll just go this is what you need to do kind of stuff

Can you say who it is? No Can I guess? No, you'll never guess and I don't want to get into that because she'll She'll probably listen to this and she'll be very sad. I'm gonna guess who I'm gonna guess go ahead Kathy Griffin No, these are women I dated Okay, I never dated Kathy Griffin. Now what I heard I went to her house once. I never fucked her. Mm-hmm. No, I went to a christmas party once No, no, no, she unwrapped a little gift, didn't she? She unwrapped a little south. She has an angry pussy. You know that

Yeah, she does. What do we do on time? We're good on time. What are we at? Um over an hour For everyone listening at home with all this dead space we're watching George try to do math What? No, I started at 17 minutes beforehand just to get all the gun stuff. Yeah, some of that stuff We're gonna have to cut out. Yeah. No, also Bobby waving a gun at me. No, I can't fucking believe I you know, I no don't don't don't Bobby. Don't don't shoot it. You fucking expensive shit in here You know what my fucking you know, you know my can I shoot the screen? The tv. Yeah, let's see what happens

It'll close your eyes. Close your eyes turn around Are you gonna do it? Yeah, but that's it. That's my tv. How much is it? I don't know. It doesn't matter. It's a fucking tv. Like what then we got to go get a new one. All right I kind of want you to do it now And I want to but if you do I'm cool with it. We just have to go get one I'll go buy one now I'm gonna. That's what I get a better one. Here's my only fear. I don't care about the tv It's a piece of shit tv, but the cameras. What if it hits one of the cameras?

Those odds the odd if I look at They rig it bounces the balls gonna bounce everywhere Let me odds of it. Shoot your hat again Right to me. That's yeah, it's gonna ricochet. I'm gonna aim here. Okay. If I aim it like this, it'll hit George in the face I'm not gonna do it. God, dude. If you do it here's your gun. Thank you. I'm gonna do it I'm gonna do it. Yeah, close your eyes Bobby. Do it. Really? I'm gonna do it. You don't have the balls I don't know. I don't have the balls to shoot my own tv. Yeah, you're a pussy Okay

Oh my god, dude, I'm so scared You're a pussy You're weak, right? That's what it is If you shoot me, I honestly yeah, I don't need to do this podcast me neither Or if they shoot me we're dead. This is it. This is it. The last one we do. You're right Okay, so good night Then take out your penis. Let me shoot your penis No, I would never shoot you

Hold out your hat though. Can I shoot your hat on? No, no shoot the screen or nothing I don't want to shoot the fucking tv. Then we're gonna get a new tv your week. That's it Be a man Bobby in life. This is for showbiz. This is for entertainment purposes It's gonna ricochet and bounce off in her. I'm gonna turn around Watch your eyes I'm gonna close my computer. Yeah, I can close my computer. All right, ready? Yeah, three Two no signal one Oh right in the middle

Holy shit, you did break it And it says no signal By the way, it ricocheted and hit me right in the shoulder. No, really? Yes, we're to god. It didn't hurt. Oh my god It did hurt. It did break it. Oh, I'm so sorry. That's all right Why did you do it you fucking said to who's kidding? What would you do that? It was kind of fun. It was fun, uh Something invigorating about that. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Anyway, thanks for listening. No, no, no We have to do we have to close the regular way. Come on. Look at the camera. Sit down. Oh, yeah Look at the camera

And we say thank you for being a bad friend on three in the main camera ready One two three. Thank you for being a bad friend And thank you as well to our sponsors manscape better help and buffy get 20 off and free shipping with the code bad friends Manscape.com your balls will thank you to start communicating with a licensed therapist in under 24 hours and get the special bad friends offer Of 10 off your first month go to betterhelp.com slash bad friends For 20 off your buffy bedding visit buffy.co and enter code bad friends. That's right You