Bad Friends - Sleeping Away Your Sadness, Working Away My Pain w/ Dan Soder

Episode Date: September 4, 2023

Get MORE Bad Friends at our Patreon!! https://www.patreon.com/badfriends Tour Tickets: https://badfriendspod.com Thank you to our Sponsors: HelloFresh, Morgan & Morgan and DraftKings • HelloFresh: Go to https://www.HelloFresh.com/badfriends50 and use code badfriends50 for 50% off and free shipping! • If you’re ever injured, you can check out Morgan & Morgan. Their fee is free unless they win. For more information go to https://ForThePeople.com/badfriends or dial Pound LAW (Pound 529) from your cell phone. This is a paid advertisement. • DraftKings: https://sportsbook.draftkings.com code: BADFRIENDS [21+ (18+ NH/WY). Physically present in AZ/CO/CT/IL/IN/IA/KS/LA(select parishes)/MI/NH/NJ/ NY/OR/PA/TN/VA/WV/WY only. $150 in Free bets: New customers only. Min. $5 deposit. Min $5 pregame moneyline bet. Bet must win. $150 issued as six (6) $25 free bets. Ends 12/31/22 @ 11:59pm ET. Stepped Up SGP: 1 Token issued per eligible game. Opt in req. Min $1 bet. Max bet limits apply. Min. 3-leg. Each leg min. -300 odds, total bet +100 odds or longer. 10+ leg req. for 100% boost. Ends 1/8/23 @ 8pm ET. See eligibility & terms at sportsbook.draftkings.com/footballterms]  YouTube Subscribe: http://bit.ly/BadFriendsYouTube Merch: http://badfriendsmerch.com 0:00 Find Behing The Scenes Footage of the Tour on patreon.com/badfriends 1:16 Bobby's First Hurricane & Andrew's Little Sister 6:34 Dan Soder Has an LA Experience  14:24 Young Bobby's Success with the Ladies 20:12 Bobby in a Short King Party 24:46 Alien, Kill Bill and Who Doesn't Show Up for Tarantino? 34:25 When Would The Boys Retire from Stand-Up? 37:11 Fancy Sucker Punches Bobby 46:34 The Blackest Korean Woman  50:29 Doom, Turok Dinosaur Hunter & Our Childhood Games More Bobby Lee TigerBelly: https://www.youtube.com/tigerbelly Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bobbyleelive Twitter: https://twitter.com/bobbyleelive Tickets: https://bobbyleelive.com More Andrew Santino Whiskey Ginger:  https://www.youtube.com/andrewsantinowhiskeyginger   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino Twitter: https://Twitter.com/cheetosantino  Tickets: http://www.andrewsantino.com More Juicy Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jetskijohnson/?hl=en More Fancy SOS VHS: https://www.youtube.com/@SOSVHS Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/fancyb.1 More Bad Friends iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-friends/id1496265971 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/badfriendspod/   Twitter: https://twitter.com/badfriends_pod   Official Website: http://badfriendspod.com/ Opening Credits and Branding: https://www.instagram.com/joseph_faria & https://www.instagram.com/jenna_sunday Credit Sequence Music: http://bit.ly/RocomMusic // https://www.instagram.com/rocom  Character Design: https://www.instagram.com/jeffreymyles Bad Friends Mosaic Sign: https://www.instagram.com/tedmunzmosaicart Produced by: 7EQUIS https://www.7equis.net/ Podcast Producer: Andrés Rosende This episode contains paid promotion. #bobbylee #andrewsantino #badfriends Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

That's the best out of the crate. So long rested. That's bad, much better now. I'm doing a wait till fucking sleep. Tonight? Yeah, yeah. A little bit of meal. Three.

You do it ready? Yeah, you have to open it up. You have to open it up. You don't open it up? No, I'm a trumpet player. Oh, yeah. You ever had a coffee carer? I don't know.

Oh, coffee carer. Drink it, you're a drinker a bit. Do you want to take care of it? Please open it up. Oh! Oh! Coffee, Cara. Drink it, you're a drinker of it. Mmm! Mmm! You two are bad friends! You are these two idiots.

Woo! Like you, you're an Asian dinner. You two're disgusting. Oh, you too are something. For bad friends. McCone just broke a piece of glass on the studio. He broke a... My glass.

A piece of glass. It's about yay big. I don't know what's this. That's how I describe you. Yay big. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's it. All right, well that was rude, but...

What do you mean, yay big? When somebody goes, how big is Bobby? How big is your best friend Bobby? I go, yay big okay good so yeah big All right anyway, so you owe me one you owe him a new piece of glass anyway last night Well, it's first of my first hurricane and I am gonna say then Not that big of a deal not that big of a deal at all. Yeah, I went outside there Yeah, I mean I went to a local bar with my sister. Really? My sister says, hi, they're in town. They want to come see you.

See me where? They want to come say hi. She came over at three in the morning last night. Anyway, oh, Jesus. Jesus. Oh, my God. You heard? Was that the hurricane?

Yeah, that was the earthquake. Oh, that was the earthquake I felt. What? Yeah, that was the earthquake. We had an earthquake and a hurricane. Yeah anyway, it was fun last night, but anyway So anyway last night hurricane. Okay, I could live through it, but so I Hurricane Hillary ripped up Southern California So then I wanted to like you know, I have a little

So then I wanted to like, you know, I have a little cover. What do you call it? Pantry. Okay. You have heard of how many pantries you have? One I've three. How many do you have pantries for food? I have one place for food. You have a lot of pantries. Well, I converted a couple of a closet and a whole another bathroom is a pantry. Oh cool. I have three of them. For you it makes a lot of that. In your face dog. But anyway, Patrick King. Patrick King. Fat guys do. You do shit. You think I could vote.

Yeah, I could vote. Yeah, I could vote. Tiger bedroom. Okay, I'm sorry. It's true. But guess what? In my third pantry last night, I fucked a real hard last night. But anyway, let's-

Whoa! Did you? Your sister. Anyway, mine. Anyway. Okay, I love her. But anyway, last night. Oh, you better.

What did you buy last night? I'm fired and they did. What did you buy last night? It's not something that I forgot. Have you ever bought something you forgot to buy? No. You mean you buy something and you forget when it's your job? No, you bought something, you put it away and you're like, oh, I bought that.

Yeah, what did you buy babe? Was a blow book it was a be nice It was a blowjob machine. Oh, my gosh, so jealous, right and in and this one dude I was like there's no way it's gonna work, but you already have a fear, but this one in particular. I was like You usually the one you charge it right on like you seeB This was a battery one so it was like oh my god It's like the 80s where you have to put like double a batteries in it. Yeah, you know the plus in the mind It whatever so I put it in there. I screw it and it looks like a fucking um It looks like a blowjob machine. I bet no it doesn't no it doesn't look like it from afar. It looks like a hair dryer It has a set, like a handle.

Yeah. And like the right, there's no way. Last night, I'll try it. I stuck it on. And as soon as my penis went in it, I was like, oh wow. This is different. Yeah.

This is new. Did you have to put anything inside of it, or just get it started, and get it going? I have a variety. I have heat. Cool. Whoa have a variety of heat, cool. Whoa. Every brand of lube. You know how I do with sunflower seeds?

Mm-hmm. Yeah. I do it with lube, too. Yeah. You know how David's sunflower seeds spasers us. You get a multi-flavored lube. Do you taste the lube? No, I don't taste it.

No, I don't taste it. It's not hot, so it's like like fucking hot. It's fully edible, though. It's their their food grade don't you gonna trick me again? Because I'm gonna do it a loob is food great. I know what I'm gonna go home and do it I can tell you and then you know Everybody knows loob is food grid imagine if you have to put it inside of people it must be safer you to consume Yeah, you did that with my calm. Yeah, you said come has different flavor. It is food great I told you to taste it. Well, I tasted it. It looks tastes the same on every day

I try you have to do every day. You that trick me again Monday's I'm trying it. What do I do anyway? So last night, you know the hurricane's going It's though. Yeah, I've been about When you masturbate you masturbated before right a couple times. Yeah, yeah Cardinals I bet you're a problem. This guy's ranked. Are you ranked? You think on a national level? Top 5,000. Yeah, you gotta be. I don't know master though Masterbader. Yeah, I mean, you know like you know because it's Matt What's your rank what's your rank and chest like 2000 is unbelievable?

Yeah, so oh then I 1000 you think as a masturbator? What's your rank? And chess, like, 2000 is unbelievable. Yeah, so you think as a masterbiter? Maybe like 20,000. Out of 250 million in America, that's pretty good. Not bad, yeah. So what happened? You think you performed well last night, huh?

You think you did a good job? I bet you had Indian guys, fucking number one. Those guys are better than always the best. Well, them and the Chinese. Yeah, they do it the best. Spelling bees, chess, and then masterbiting them the best. Which they can all do at the same time. So, uh,

Rook to bonk. So anyway, I just woke up, so I'm not even clear, but I've never made a noise orgasm in me. Mm-hmm. I'm like, I'm like, Oh, it's like, oh first. Oh? Yeah, like, I'm gonna write you the lyrics.

All right? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh first. Oh? Yeah, like, I'm gonna write you the lyrics. All right? OH, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, right? And then the last one is capital capital. Like, you know how Trump when he tweets and he's angry? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh This is a lyric so that's on oh Dead so You fucking dipshit ladies and gentlemen Dude he just crypt he crypt in here did you see that he was crippin it? Did you see me getting help? Please sit on in our blue chair

I'm not going to be able to build my new style. Oh, this all new! Oh, fuck it, you're canceled! That's racist! This is bringing doggy out. I'm getting ticket sales, cancellations bring. The gills are selling out. Six-pound procedure. Yeah, yeah.

Oh, cool. I loved it. Fucking do an arena. What did you bring? You brought a little gift, and so? I just did Mark Marins podcast? He says by the way He knows you're gay. Did he say that for real? Finally, he goes by the way tell Andrew I know he really reads my text messages. Yeah, let me ask you to find that phone

Was it fun? It was fun. I got a much. I look at it and I said this he digs deep No, he got me dude. He goes to deep. What did he give you there? One of his bullshit coffee mugs? Yeah, oh cool Your sister here's a mug No, go get a cup of coffee. How many times have you done it? I only did it once me two one one times I think he only does he has a one-time deal Now I think he no people he likes he invites back. I know like Tarantino. Yeah Well, Tarantino's huge. Yeah, my being like, and then I, I like comedy again. I was just across the street. I gotta tell you guys this.

I grabbed food real quick. Across at that diner. I sat at the counter. The most LA shit in the world. There was just a super old guy on the phone. And he's like talking about Post Malone. And he's like, yeah, listen to his CD. He's a good CD. He's good. He's like to his CD he's a good he's good he's

like a real he's he's real good yeah then he starts talking about naked ladies oh I love this guy it was so old and porny where he goes yeah look her up look her up she used to do solo and girl on girl she's a good body he goes but now she's doing regular porn throw eight inches at at her. And I was like, oh my God. Oh, don't be doing that, like, Carlos, you were next door before this? I had it with Bobby. That's 100% Carlos's conversations on the phone.

Yeah, you gotta look up or stuff. He was looking up the girls who was saying, you're saying me real. I swear to God. Do you remember any of the girls' names? I left the tab up. Yeah. Because I knew I was coming here.

Yeah, I got blessed. I wasn't like, no, I mean delete the thing that we're going to definitely talk about. Who is he ranting about? Uh, he was ranting about this girl name, Sid Wilder. Oh, I know her. I know her. Wait, wait, wait, first of all, Sid, I know her. Sid Wilder. Sid Wilder. Sid Wilder. Okay. She's not a porn star. Okay. She's more of a, she's a comedian. Oh, yeah, she does, I know who this is. Oh, yeah. But she, I, we follow, I know her. Yeah. She, she, she, she, yeah, she does. I know who this is. Yeah, but she I know her. Yeah, she she she she she used to do stand up or something. Yeah, she did a kid of killing more about social

media kind of thing, but I know her. The other important and I know I see what you're trying to do. No, the other girl. I know you're doing right now. Sydney. The other girl he brought up was something Scott. I erased her one. It was Sydney Scott. There's one right there. It's a blonde lady named just just an elementary school teacher named Sydney Scott. No, I'm gonna fight for it. He's like, I know, he's a girl who teaches my kids. I like to see hood capes. This guy was such an old perv. By the way, we're setting records. Another teacher got busted for just this past week for a, I want to say three summer four some four-some it was in the news I think she was in I don't know which one to look up the news another one well there's one in the Bronx

I saw that one yeah but those are one teacher allegedly arranged three-some with schoolgirl and mom Wait and it was a dude that pulled this no I think this was a girl right? Oh, no that guy. Oh that guy this guy pulled it whoa Well, I mean if you do it with a parent, I mean they get Can you set right? Yeah, it's like a dead the field trip form Listen before I suck and fuck you and your daughter You can bring your kid to a rated our movie if you're there, right? Exactly Bring your parent to There's absolutely a slimy lawyer that's like we got this

to. Yeah, I don't know. There's absolutely a slimy lawyer that's like we got this. It's called the permission is the permission slip. This is like in in Wisconsin if you're underage, you know, if your parent is there, you can drink. Do you know about this? What? It's kind of like local not a law, but like people just go with it. You're allowed to drink under. Minors under this age are allowed to consume alcohol as long as they are accompanied by a parent legal guardian or spouse of legal drinking age in Wisconsin. It is a law. Damn, dude, they have, that's basically like training wheels for boots.

100%. They're like, hey, I let go back. I'm walking over there. You've been black out with me. You're good to go, buddy. Just keep pedaling. Yeah. Thanks, Pam.

Yeah, dude, Wisconsin would be the state that does that. 100%. But we used to go up there when I go with my parents To like Irish fest and we go to a bar and I it always felt like we were getting away with something But the bartenders were like what are you looking at what do you want like the beers and they're like okay, which one? How old are you? That's like 17 18? So you're already drinking well Yeah, but never in a bar Oh, if we if we got into a bar

It's because we knew someone who's uncle owned it who was just a degenerate blackout Who was just sitting at the end of the bar and he's like just make sure not you guys You you guys wouldn't want to be around in high school getting drunk Where you get in high school? I got super gay. He was a met I would get so gay then tell you did methen Bob you do methen high school. I started I didn't met that 11 what? Well, that's when you can get it when you're about kind of 11. Yeah That's we start understanding society

Yeah, wait, but what is that because at 11 you still have child energy, you know, you still have like With math where you just did you shoot to the moon? No, my dad was always gonna come in so I had to prepare myself Oh, no, you paranoid math No, my dad was always going to come in. So I had to prepare myself. Oh, no, you did paranoid math. Paranoid. He's coming. Oh, yeah.

But, mom, when did you, how you gave you the math? My dad. No, no. I got to know what happened was, one day, because from Minnesota to San Diego, it was like when I was 10 or whatever. And then we moved to the suburbs, Green Valley. OK.

Beautiful, beautiful. You know what you get to the suburbs, green valley. Okay. Beautiful, beautiful. You know what you get in the suburbs is good math. You get drugs. You get real drugs. You get bored kids doing drugs. With this. A lot of time I ever saw a Filipino kid, you know what I mean, with mustache.

They have full grown mustache. They have 11 or 12. You know that, yeah, it's insane. They really do, they're definitely good. Deep boys. But they can't grow beards. They can't get any idea the body's are hairless It was a kid he flipped over skateboard and he was doing a line. He must have been like five years older than me. You thought it was coke

No, I didn't know what it was, but I remember going I I was I was so much pain. I just remember just being so much pain. Like sad? Yeah, I mean, my parents are so violent. I got all Fs on my report card. They thought I had Down syndrome. They thought I would re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re- I knew that it was gonna change the way I felt. You see that kids, if you're doing bad in school. Just your drugs. Little Bumple, do you? Yeah, little Bumple, do you? A little Bumple, do you?

Anyway, but in high school we got drunk. We would probably try some stuff with you guys. Really, when you get drunk, you'd just kiss me, fool. He did, he did all that stuff all the time. I did that all the time. Did you, did any of your friends take you up all the offer? Oh my God, dude. Yeah, San Diego, if you're a bit down there. Yeah, everybody's pants. I It's pan city, dude

Let me say something if you know the women back then let now it's like being Asian guy You're like oh, it's normal like you know, I could if I was young now Being an Asian guy, you're like, oh, it's normal. Like, you know, if I was young now, I would have been killing it. I would be dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb Co-conduct why you look at each other? You guys would do the predator You're just Just kidding Don't tell anybody you still talk to any of those guys that you hooked up with from high school I did you were drunk so it's like no one knows he's right. It is a hookup. I mean I didn't say you gave it It's not a hookup. It's a hookup. How is that not a hookup? It's a drunk hook you did. What's a hook up? Google what is hooking up? It's a hook up. That's the that is a hook up

You hooked up and then now their wives are like so you guys went to high school That's what he never did a reunion. He cannot face those Being intimate sexual someone without being in a committed relationship with them. That's a hook up buddy That's a hook up, dude. So you hooked up? Yeah, no. Yeah there's nothing wrong with that. You were getting, you get you. You said hookup you don't like it. No it doesn't say anything about that. It's the feeling of it.

No it doesn't mean, listen. If you eat a meal it doesn't mean if it's good or bad. You're so ate a meal. Hey. Yeah that's true. You eat a lot of meals. You're hungry. You're hungry boy.

Bullied right now. You're not. Yeah yeah. Back up. Let's bring this down. Back up. I just want to tell you right now Bobby. Yeah, yeah, yeah back up. Let's bring this down back up I just want to tell you right now Bobby. Yeah, yeah, I find this very do really I swear to God and I think if I would have been doing meth I might have been tossing out It wasn't doing meth at the time when I was out. I doubt it. Yeah, you're not a you're not an H.J. guy

You would do meth and go build something. Yeah, yeah, so does that build the shed again? Or go teach me a different fight. What's the SJ? Huh? HJ. What's the SJ? Hand job. How you hand job? You hand job, boy?

The first time I got a hand job, I almost said, please stop it. Really? It was so uncomfortable. Oh, yeah. How young were you? I'm a guy and girl. It's almost always been a girl for me. These odds are going to throw you off.

He just made it. Can we start from the beginning? Bobby, I still... Look at this thing, like... What? Can we just... Bobby, you're... Okay. Look at this thing.

I was highly sexual. You have to understand, being a Korean dude in the 80s back then. What do you mean? Everybody was highly sexual in their 15 years. Oh, okay, okay. Six years. I understand. In the 80s back then what do you mean everybody was highly sexual and they're 15 Oh, okay, okay, yeah, I'm just saying in the 80s back then they just didn't no girls like guys that look like me Well, no, no, it's because of where you live you live in an affluent white San Diego Okay, whatever you would have killed it up here. I would have killed it in Korea. Maybe yeah, yeah San Francisco San Jose what do you think was the biggest deterrent for girls

when you were young? With me? Yeah. Maybe it was three foot two. Was there any, did you ever go hunting for small women? Did you ever see like, did a small girl have with the gnomes? We didn't have the vets. Wait, so no, they never would have vets did.

I would have fucking military hat. I was out there charlie charlie. Here, come out there Charlie Charlie What about a tiny white? No tiny white son look they don't like you so you should have agent orange with you I would have taken them down with it to work Yeah, I mean trail and everything. Oh my god I don't know what you meant to let everything What number big rail dude you think you think because of your height was the biggest a turn

Also a weird yeah No big rail dude. You think you think because of your height was the biggest eternal. Also weird Yeah, that's it. I'm gonna tell you I was I was a tall I was a tall weird and they didn't like me see they did not they were like you're You but you were an athlete I sucked I wasn't I Know girls did just think your tall unattractive. I would athlete. Yeah. Well, I was on the tennis team and wrestling team. That's not pretty. Well, the wrestling team though, the problem with that is those guys are so

hardcore about wrestling. That's all they can think and talk about all day. Yeah. Football players, basketball players, all they're thinking about is girls. And the shitty, the shitty basketball players and the shitty football players all on me. Yeah. We're playing the sport, but we're also constantly. You know, where we can get fucked up? Yeah, where we're gonna be fucked up? No, we were the guy. I was the guy that was like, where are you gonna get beer? And you're like, I got beer. Don't worry. You know, you turned to me. Yeah, we're on the bench. But being weird, it does. It stops you from getting pushed. Thank you. But now, but now short-king thing, this is a new thing, dude, all over the internet. You're in your element right now, dude. You couldn't shine anymore. Short-king. Look up short-kings, dude. Short-kings are all over the place. They're in your element right now dude. You couldn't shine anymore. Shortking.

Look up short kings dude. Short kings are all over the place. They're having shortking parties. What? Just for you guys. They're having parties with dudes, not above five foot seven and the girls are all like above five foot ten. Whoa.

Do you want to go to one of these buddies? Dude, look up shortking parties. Let's get you a fucking tall queen dude. This is Fred. You don't think I fuck good? I first saw you win. I know, I hold on, don't hold on to your hand pal. I'll come earlier, guys.

This is the right, you fuck right. You don't think I fuck good? You don't fuck good? I'm doing fine. I think you'd be great. In the last, in the last 30 years then. I've been in the game. All right, I don't know what you're trying to accuse me of.

I'm gonna get you in here. All right, I make you look a couple weeks ago. Your tone is I don't know what you're trying to accuse me of. I'm gonna get you in there. All right. I make you look a couple weeks ago. Your toe is different. You know what? I love you. I never really talked before. Last week, you're different right now, Dad.

Let me tell you right now, Bobby. And you're talking about me being bullied. Bobby? Bobby. Bobby, you are against me. Let me tell you right now. We had a lovely lunch last week. You and I? Yeah.

One of the best. You poos. I did poos. Yeah. But you was, and you wash my back. I did like a real friend. Wait a minute, mid lunch, you went to the bathroom after lunch. Yeah, yeah. And why did you wash his back? Well, you didn't watch, he watched my back. What? What are you fucking? I'm like, hey, yeah, what do you get? Let's go on the tape. Let's go on the tape on this podcast. Anyway, Bobby, but yeah, but I was saying I, I, because we had such a lovely lunch, I want you to do even better than before. What's right? And I'm saying right now, I know you're doing great. Yeah, but how much better could you do if you

fucking you show up at a short king party? You're the man. Look at the man at the short game. The charging function men under 5.8 in the dates have to be over 5.10. This is amazing. I love this. This is match. This is Dana White matchmaking. Now look at yourself. Could you imagine yourself with these fellas right here? I like these guys. Let's play on that. Let's see what they got going on these guys. Oh hell yeah, look at all these girls are tall. And a lot of times hot tall girls are hot, but they're tall so like men are like, hey, you're being... They're intimidated by. By the way, this is my favorite thing about short-king parties. Yeah. All the girls have their arms wrapped around the guys.

Yeah. They have their arms wrapped around the guys. They have their arms wrapped around the man's shoulders. Because they have their arms wrapped on a man's shoulder. I've always dated girls 5, 8 or taller. You've never dated a short girl? No, and can I say this too? And this is a little science when you're laying down? I think it's because their lengths are usually in the legs. So torso's aren't really that much longer. So it seems like you're making love to somebody that's your size.

And then when you're laying down to somebody that's your size. Right. And then when you're laying down you feel it feels same. Feels the same. Exactly the same. I mean I have to do it a little bit up. But if he goes down there it takes him a long time to get back. Yeah. I have to like when I want to kiss him I hit the stretch of my neck a little bit.

He's got a ball up. Yeah. Who's got to buy you one of those? So I'm definitely going to throw in the next stretch. So when I make a look, her neck is right here and I'll go on a kiss Oh, you go. Yeah, I did you like I think yeah, I get that to get some breath you like you're in the ocean. Yeah, you're stretching your leg Hmm, let me get kiss. Yeah, just keeping your head above water like that's food. I have to do a dust boot You know what that's food now? You never heard of that. Yeah

That's booted? No. You never heard of that boot? No, I've never heard of that booted. You never heard of that booted. That's booted. That's booted is a movie, right? It's one of the best movies I've ever made. It's a German movie.

Was it Russian or German? I think it's German. German, that's booted. Have you seen that's booted? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Great movie, right? Yeah, well from Peter or something. There's a lot of screens of...

Well from Peter's, more or four or five. You know the right screens of them. You said too fucking, yeah, you said fucking. You just asked me to. You stopped me. You're the right thing. Hello, friends. Oh my god, I love Hello, Fresh, because whenever there's a Hello, Fresh box outside my door, you get giddy.

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or dial pound law that's pound 529 from your cell phone. That's for the people, F-O-R, the people.com slash bad friends or pound law pound 529 from yourself. This is a paid advertisement. You know what I rewatched? Alien one and aliens. Aliens weekend. Yeah. I mean, that's James Cameron. That's what the first one's not really Scott. Yeah, really? Yeah, really? Yeah, really Scott did the first one. But both of those movies, when you rewatch them, you're like, this is pretty good shit, dude. I might you

might have. Yeah, you might have inspired me to watch them back to back because it's been probably 20 years since I've watched eight minutes. So I just went, I went to the Hollywood Forever Cemetery this past week. You know, they show movies in the cemetery. Yeah. And I went to go see, it's Kill Bill.

It was a Kill Bill of Sleepover one and two. Great. Here's the wild shit. A, the movie holds up to an incredible degree. Like I thought I've seen that movie so many fucking times. Maybe it'll be whatever phenomenal again, 4500 people in the cemetery. My brain goes to, someone's gonna ruin this. They're gonna be talking, they'll be fucking around.

Yeah. Everyone, silent. Really? Clap when they clap, laugh when they deserve to laugh. I was like, how come we can't do this in normal functioning society? Like how come we can't just all be on the same page? Do you love those movies?

Kill Bill. I adore it, it's an after-micle park. He placed a couple of rules in it. Society like how come we can't just all be on the same page do you love those movies kill Bill? I adore it's an after Michael Park. He placed a couple of rules in it But he places teal on a like like he's like some sort of like a pin or something it is Michael Park, right? That's a Michael that Michael Park yeah, Michael Park that that monologue he does I don't know if it's one or two. Yeah, that monologue. It's in two Yeah, that's the second one and so know, he was supposed to have that part. Really? No, the after that they hired was out of town

during that like, um, table read. Then you get back in town. So, you know, for two or three more, you're fucking changed his mind. And Terrentino was like, well, you gotta miss it. You know, it's my great aunt's birthday. Yeah, yeah. So, Terrentino asked Michael Park,

is he already in the movie? Yeah. Can you just read this part? Any Michael Park, is he already in the movie? Yeah. Just, can you just read this part? Any crush. Any crush so bad doing that part? That Tarantino was like, oh, the other guy's fired. That's exactly right. If he would have just shown up.

Skip your aunt's birthday. What? Also, what's more important? It would have to be like, it would have people like, oh, a Stanley Kubrick was reborn. Yeah. Or your wife. Or your wife was getting heart surgery and you had to help do it. No, no, Stanley Kubrick was reborn. Yeah. Or your wife for him or your wife was getting heart surgery

and you had to help do it. No, no, I don't, I don't, I don't skip, I don't skip fucking table read for that. Yeah. Territory. Yeah. I'd rather have my wife die. I am.

I have that topic. As a topic that you know that right. You heard that quick though. You ever want someone to sacrifice everything? I know. I'll blow you out. I'll blow you out. I'll blow you out. I'll blow you out. I'll blow you out? I'll blow you up. I'll do it every tenor. You heard my history. I don't want this to work.

Territino, you bring a line to met. This guy will be at the table. I haven't watched Kill Bill since it was out in theaters. Phenomenal. Honestly. You have to watch it. It's so good again. So did he hold on to the town for us. Just so Wednesday.

Are you here running around promoting or what are you doing? I was supposed to promote, but then there was a strike. Oh, yeah. Oh, right. So I can't promote. We're not allowed to talk about that. Yeah, I'm not even allowed to. I did how we met Del's podcast and the whole background

was the show. And I was like, hey, that's going to get me in deep shit. I need my health insurance. And what did he say? Was he like, I don't leave it up there? He's like, I don't change it. He's cool, so. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, I think people L. people LA is the city where they understand Because nobody wants to lose the job like liking how it yeah Bobby's world. Yeah, yeah, so when you was at the first time you met him Yeah, what a nice guy right? I'm not for years. I love them sweetheart Yeah, yeah, and like walk around yeah very nervous because I didn't know you don't know how that's gonna be kind of like an older school Do like old school dude like I don't know if we're gonna get along. I don't know how that's gonna be. Kind of like an older school dude, like old school dude, you're like, I don't know if we're gonna get along. I don't know how it's gonna go. And he was super fucked. Did he show you his hologram?

Yeah. He's got two pox hologram. I know you know? I love that, I love that. Yeah, yeah. And then I, he does have two holograms. And in a warehouse in LA, it's some real adrenal cronies. He's like 50,000 square foot warehouse.

And I was like, what's all the other rooms for? He's like, we're figuring it out. And he already knows. Oh yeah, you're harvesting the fear of children. I, it was one of those things where I'm anti, I'm against AI and chat GBT, it just scares me. And I was like joking at first, being like, yeah, it actually kind of scares me.

And he's like, but why does it scare you? Yeah, I would hit. And it really was that moment, or like, are you a computer? Why are you so big on pushing computers on me, man? He's like, right down your feelings. We'll talk about it on the show. 01001 100. Sorry, I fucked up. What were you saying? Yeah. But he doesn't take a second. He's constantly busy.

And it's like, I look at him like I don't ever want to be like that. No way. Just constantly. No, he's constantly doing what? You stay on the path. You're on right now. You're just fine. You you almost do nothing So rude then what's wrong with you today? Isn't that true you're attacking me at all. Oh, okay, isn't it true? What's the romantic with you right now?

I'm not sure that you you you you like to do almost nothing. I do so many things in my life So what are you talking about what do you mean? You just said I don't want to do with how I met you I'm just like he's causing like 8 a.m. to fucking 9 p.m. Yeah. He's schedule booked book book. He's really going. He really did that as we did his podcast. He's like I got something right now. Yeah, yeah. He's constantly going and I one time I asked him I go Dude, he's like if I stop and think I'm gonna get depressed and I get in my head and I'll get really I get really depressed and he goes Oh, that was a good. Did he do that? Yeah, he did that by the way. Yeah, yeah, I just as a fart connoisseur

Oh really I could hear the splash back. Thank you, man Well the seats are built for that. Yeah, he did we did buy one I mean, I am you know a little lazier than most but I'm not saying you're lazy I think you like to do less because I will I will join your team Bobby And I will sacrifice myself for this conversation. Yeah, I love to do nothing. You do Thanks, man. What's nothing to you lay on the couch all day if I can I think you have it or walk my dog What do I have you have a little bit of how we m in down? Yeah, I want to do stuff No, but you're constantly going yeah, you're like sometimes we'll go off the road and you're like oh no

I'm going to Hawaii. I'm going to do it. I'm doing a golf tournament in Italy. And I'm like, we'll do slow down. You know what? I'm gonna agree. This is all I've got. I'm gonna die.

I should do it while I can. But I'm gonna agree with Bobby. I'll watch your stories and I'll be like, I just saw you were doing a show. How are you golfing with Travis K. Yeah, because I, because I, he's like, I gotta, I gotta get it. Well, I'm having it right now. I understand that that but to argue what Bobby and I love to do yeah

I work hard so I can take a Monday next Monday, right? Yeah, I got nothing nothing and it to me is better I'm gonna walk my dog twice see I'm gonna do that too, but then I'm gonna literally go upstairs I'm gonna play PlayStation. I'm gonna do that too. But then, I'm gonna literally go upstairs. I'm gonna play PlayStation. I'm gonna watch TV shows. I'm gonna order food. Get a maybe walk to the Starbucks at the base of my building. Me.

And then that's gonna be a sick fucking day. Yeah, I do. I do it on tour, right? We would wake up. On the tour bus. He's already got, he comes back with a bandana. Right, he's a hiking backpack, a cash racket, and you're like,

who the old boy? What spearfishing is? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's like, you're just honestly going in. It's like, I think you have the same thing that I'm here. It's a sickness without a doubt. It's a sickness. You sleep away your sadness,

and I work away my sadness. Well, first of all, that's a beautiful song. Slippery. And I work away my pain. It sounds like a lot of Del Rey song. Oh yeah, that's cool. I work Super original. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I work away like a lot of Del Rey song. Oh, yeah, that's cool. I work off all my pain and you sleep away your sadness. You don't want to face it and neither do I.

We're the same guy. No one wants to face it. Two separate ends. I just can't want, keep going and going and going and going and going and going and going. Yeah, but I know I like facing sadness. Sometimes, yeah. No, I like to put a little dip in my mouth,

lay down with my cat gooner, right? Yeah. And listen to some really sad shit Then to that sounds honestly, right and I bring out the machine You know see me I listen to sad music in my car if I'm really sad Starting to sound the same I miss the comfort and being sad. Yeah, yeah, they're right I like to take a drive and listen to sad shit. Oh my god. So look. I'm still moving even when I'm yeah You can't your shark just the machine has yeah, I has... Yeah, I can't sleep. You can't sleep, you can't stop. I think I'm gonna get one of those Auro rings to find out how often I sleep

at night. Yeah. And I think genuinely, it'll register four hours a night maybe. I mean, I looked at mine because I didn't, I don't snore, but I toss and turn. Yeah. And I didn't know that's all I lived with Katie. And she's like, did you flip and flop all the time? Did she sleep really easy? She can't fall asleep, but once she's asleep, she's dead. She's brain. She can't even sprain. I would think is she does what I do where it's like, yes.

Constantly. She can't really, she can't slow down, she can't. Once she slows down, she can sleep or whatever, but then I'm, I can fall asleep fast, and then I'm moving in my sleep and I'm up. So I sleep for like an hour, then I'm like, I'm up and I sleep for another hour. And I went and did the test and they were like, you're waking up 23 times an hour.

23. Oh, you have the same thing. And so I got to sleep out. You do this, but it didn't work. It's like there's something fucked up with my nose. I feel like I'm suffocated. I'm fucked up face. I think stop it.

Join your two. I'm sorry. I'm here. But I just looked at it now. It's so long. It's long this way. You got to stop that I can't yeah, you did some pop don't want around it It's good. No, you know what the credit his brain is so big. It's weighted down his skin is I don't know I'm there's Dan Soters had there it is there it is that is absolutely Yeah, that's it long

Look at that long. Yes, there's a range That's hilarious. That's a long It's absolutely Look Korean guy skulls See what the fuck I just do it some light racial for the That's a normal totally no wait a second What is an Irish guys had look like I'm sure there's not there's not a lot of room That's normal. Totally normal. Wait a second. Whoa, that's cool. That's cool. What is an Irish guy's head look like? I'm sure there's not a lot of room. Whatever.

Let me try. Let's go ahead, like a little slit. I know it was not where you were looking for it. You go, oh my god. The Oral boat. What is that? Just a dropkick Murphy's album. Yeah.

Well, we have it. The pokes floating around our brain all the time. It's just the shoulder tattoo of a Boston firefighter. But when will you stop doing stand-up? You think what if 65 if I'm lucky? When they do not buy another ticket. I'll be done at 60, 65. What do you think would be the next champ of your life then?

After that? Yeah, what do you think? Nothing. Yeah, I'm 52. You do the thing, then. I'm 52. You're not going to quit at 60. Really?

Yeah, because I'm 52 right now. I can't even imagine quitting at 60. What about 65? No, I think 70. Kevin, Neal and I'm done. See, you say this. That's, that's, you say this, but I think you're just like me in this regard. You'll want to do stand-up performance or something like that until they tell you.

I bet there's a form of podcasting when I'm like 65, 70, where I can do it from the comfort of my own home. Get the creative outlet. It may be funny, so I'm gonna wanna be funny still, but stand up with the traveling and like writing a new hour and putting all the effort in. I think like a while ago I was like, if I can make nine hours of published stand up throughout my whole career.

Yeah, I'm good. I feel like I did it. Just like I almost see exact same thing. Remember we were backstage and he goes, I'm working on my six hours, something like that. And he goes, I think this is it, because he goes, I want to, for hours. Yeah.

He goes, I want to look at it like a discography. Yes. And he goes, I want to be proud of all of them. And he should be, all his shit is great. And he was like, when I reach the thing, I want to be at, he goes, I want to be proud of all them. And he should be. All his shit is great. And he was like, when I reach the thing I want to be at, he goes, then I don't put out hours anymore. Because you save your legacy.

That's what he wants. Because I think there is, there is a little bit of that of like, it's like a band, man, when a, when an old band comes back to get like Metallica, you're like, you know, you stop. We were in saw him at MetLife and I was like, this is a bummer. Should I knock him? I'm going to go see them this Sunday. They, they're here.

They rock. This is not. I want, who? Metallica. I'm gonna be honest. Do you wanna go on Sunday with me? Metallica? I love them.

Let's go. I'm gonna say this. I love Metallica. I love Metallica my whole life. For the first time seeing Metallica, it felt like James Hetfield was old. Oh, no, oh You felt it. I thought I was like I I love Metallica, but it is it's the same like as a professional wrestling fan when you watch them get too old

You're like don't get in the ring like Rick Flair You're like stop getting in the ring. You don't need to get in the ring But you want them to be associated with it still right like they can they still- If you can. In the world somehow. If they can be. In a way that makes sense. Right. In a way that makes them, doesn't- It's what Jessel Nick was saying, like, you want to leave a legacy where you're like,

don't come back and make it shit. Any Murphy should not come back to stand up comments. There's no legacy. I don't think he's gonna- There's no legacy. There's no legacy. Yes, there is. There is no legacy.

Look, let me see something. Who was one of the best comments that died in the last ten years? Patrice, right? Yeah, none of the kids know him. That's not true. That's not true. I think I think you're okay You're naming someone who's well if you do have no hours out. Maybe there's no legacy. Oh, that's a shot. Oh no You look at me. When why didn't you look at me when you said it? I'll tell you that I got a tattoo. got a statue. Yeah, he took the shot. He took the shot. Look at me. Look at me and say it.

Yeah, take the shot if you're gonna take the shot. Take the shot. You're gonna shoot a guy in the back. Yeah, that's a two. No, you shoot him. No, no, he did. He sucker punch you. Yeah, that was.

He walked up to you. Boom and punch you without even just say it. You fucking say it. Go ahead. Now it's just saying the leg is legacy thing you know that you have the you have to put you have to put something out there to get a legacy I know what I'm saying though is is that I know so many great comics that have died right? Sure. And there's no literacy. Okay, but what he's saying is, if you built up,

if you built up something, no one has it in this day and age, there's no, in 100 years, future people are going to go, oh, look at, um, colligula by Anthony Dazzleman. We're not going to say that. Someone might,

one guy who gets the fuck, you're dead. No, he's not saying it. He's not saying it. Bicy yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah as it fans of yours yeah if you come see me live but that's the J Leno theory that's what he said yeah come see me live he's not gonna put out hours because he says just come see me live until I don't do it anymore really that's his whole thing he didn't interview with Rolling Stone or something like that where he can't they were saying how come you don't put out specials like everyone in your generation is doing now like Romano put out one and he was like

yeah he says come see me live. I'm gonna say like I mean like legacy is this a weird thing. Okay how about this when Seinfeld dies will he have a legacy? I've never seen it. I think Seinfeld dies, will he have a leg? I've never seen... I think, I think, perform. I think Seinfeld should not have put out that Netflix special. The one where it was all the old jokes? I don't think he should have done anything after I'm telling you for the last time.

Right, right, right. That was such an iconic way to close with the funeral at the end. Yeah. All right, at the beginning, and it was like all of his classic jokes in one tight HBO special. I think you hit hard. What, when you said, and it was like all of his classic jokes in one tight HBO special. I think you hit hard.

What? When you said, I sleep away with my sadness. Oh, you brought that back? Yeah, bringing that back. Oh, no, I'm not being thinking about that just now. You sleep away or send me to the other side? I know, work away my pain. Okay.

Yeah. So what I'm saying is, is that, what you did, what you did, what you did? What? I'm never gonna forget What you did dude yeah, nope Like 9 11 I will never forget never dude, okay, what you did was fucking put a plane inside my body You know I'm falling right now dude and what you did did I never do your movie I never do you move

A lot of people say fancy you fuck they say that he took the lessons on how to take off but never had a land He's the terrorists He's Seven I'm tower Set You clap you clap them to do let's be honest. You are there. This is very 9-11 because you do self-implode That this is what are you doing now? Nothing Yeah, you know dude, I'm saying you look like it just looks like maybe the planes didn't do as much damage to some of the internal inside

job I'm saying I don't know if his comment can melt steel beams. That's all I'm saying. I don't know if it's gonna be. Something else was at play. Yeah, that was at play. You notice how it was a control fault? No, it was a control fault.

Why didn't it spread out? Where's all the debris? If you were around the fancy Bobby Comet, please check in because you might have some carcinogenic stuff. Yeah. Bob, bro, though. Oh my god, I'm never gonna forget.

I don't think you're gonna, I don't think you'll quit. I think you'll transition to something else. What are you trying to drive me to a different fucking genre? I'm just going on it. I'm just going on it. I bought you to take the music. You're gonna be the best plumber. I swear to God.

I'm gonna suffer. And honestly, I'm gonna give you this number or you know this podcast. And they're gonna get you, they're gonna get you. You're all gonna be, I mean, it's gonna be, yeah, yeah. I think you should take the song. You know, I'm not gonna start serious. No, I'm gonna, what?

I think you should take your music ability more serious. What do you, are you, are you getting a start and podcast with him? No. I'd love to. And what's your dream? What's your dream? No, no, no, no.

My friendship will not be changed. And this podcast won't be changed by the fact that I do support you digging deeper into your music abilities and your love of music. Okay. It is funny. I want you to do it. It is funny how podcasting is.

Isn't this nice? I'm giving the guy a fucking huge compliment. Yeah, I just can't think of it. I know, just can't. There's nothing underneath it. want you to do it. It is funny how podcasting is nice. I'm giving the guy a fucking huge compliment Yeah, I just can't like it. I know I just can't. There's nothing underneath it. There's nothing underneath. Okay It's funny that podcast things like if the swinging of comedy where you go like what are you guys gonna do podcast? You go no, unless like you be down with that I mean we haven't really talked about yeah We're just like sitting around riffing, you know, like maybe just, no, I think it was a genuine compliment.

I mean, that was a good shot. He took a shot. In the back of something. Yeah, real though. Yeah. He produces a show, right? Kind of. Yeah, kind of.

He also has something to do with my other one too. Yeah. Right. Yeah, he's always around. He's always around, right? Yeah. How do you feel about his comment? Be real though. The part that upset me, and I'm just going to tell you

that someone that witnessed it, the part that upset me was that he looked at Andrew and said, he does that. And I know that, because when he said, here's just where I was sitting. The comment happens and I go, he just put out on it. And then I went, oh my put out a note. Yeah. And then I went, oh my God. And then, oh my God.

I was talking about Bobby. And I, and I'm gonna tell you this right now, I have felt guilty since the moment you said, you thought we were teaming up on you. Right. So I'm in defensive Bobby mode. And so when I noticed that the shot wasn't it, right, it was at you.

That there was a gunman on the grassy nose. Yeah, take a name. Okay, maybe it's I've been molested. Okay. Yeah. So when it's happening to you as a kid. Okay, right? Yeah, no, I know.

Is this happening? Yeah. And you start like you're in a different fantasy in your mind. Like, well, I'm playing baseball with my, you know, my friend. Yeah, we like well, I'm playing baseball with my Yeah, we're saying that to him that's what I was feeling. Yeah, where am I? He molested you He molested you molested you just came in you molested his mind you molested my mind He's came in to play with his mind penis

He had to fantasize you were talking about answer. Yeah, oh T. No, you're you were talking about the answer. Yeah, how did you talk about Sanctino? You're over fucking talking touching this brain day anyway, you don't feel bad about it Dude, I apologize sorry really? You know I do That just you do is movie. Yeah I'm fucking out there. All right, we talked a little bit before you showed up by the way I want I want your gauge on this. Yeah, Bobby's got a couple of the of sex toys the blowjob toys Oh, yeah, the one with the mouth. Have you ever done these things? I did at Moon Tower. They gave us a flashlight flashlight. Yeah, we all use that and I went upstairs and used it once and it made me feel like a serial kill. Yeah, cleaning it.

The second I was I didn't I fucking spun from that bitch and threw away Graph Kingsport book. Can you believe we had seven months without an NFL game Andrew? I'm gonna tell you I was bummed about it. I've been watching all preseason. I was just excited. I love it. Let's go. It's crazy, right? Well, good thing that's over. NFL is here and draft King Sportsbook, an official sports betting partner of the NFL is giving you a can't miss offer to for week one this week. New customers can get $200 and bonus bets instantly when you bet just five bucks on any NFL game. That's huge.

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expire seven days after issuance eligibility deposit restriction to apply. Let's stop talking about sex now. Got too much sex for you. Yeah, let's try to, let's do an exercise here, bud. All right, let's go with this extreme opposite. Yeah, show him that clip. Right. Show him this woman. Look at this Korean woman from the hood.

Kaskorian, I have ever seen. He been going in there with a tour. I have been coming since I've been here. Why would you stop? That was wrong with the household. That's it. You were a shamei and I was a restaurant. No, John, it's gonna happen.

You said it's a clown. You think I got the 930? You told 8930, you think? Shit. No, you're not in a bathroom. I'm not in a bathroom. Two hours? Shit.

Wait, watch what she calls. Rocky, call me. I've been calling you. I don't know what you were. That motherfucker answered a problem and it fished you. I love her. I love her. I love her.

That motherfucker's out there fishing. Yeah. Yeah. What was the exercise? What is it? Which is talking about something completely different. What do you want to talk about? Mrs. Kim in the hood.

That's Mrs. Kim in the hood. They said she makes the best collar greens. Oh, you want to talk about butterflies, buddy? You know this guy. Yeah. All right, so I was before the hurricane. I've been out in my patio and just in the sun. True, right?

There's a lot of butterflies out. Yeah. And what I realized is that butterflies, they fly together and they deal with dance. Oh, they're mating. It's a run back to sex, dude. When they're flying in tandem, they're mating. What did you do? Yeah, you brought it right up here.

Last low side left sex. And you're over here birds and bees and bees. No, you know, couldn't that be fun? Because why are they flying? Were they in an area show? Maybe in their old studio 54, like, boom, boom, boom. They're just fucking in there. And what did they do at studio 54?

They danced so they could go fuck. I see what you're saying. Oh you oh fuck you're right. Okay Taking the air out of my chair Okay, look at them fucking dude. That's a butterfly porn. Did you fuck them butterflies? Everything does buddy true One of my favorite moments Fuck yeah, yeah seventh grade I'm like a dad. One of my favorite long fuxx. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah it'd be funny. And then one day, he was like a big kid. This is before he got sent to military school. He's just sitting in science class and he goes,

Hey, Mr. Coons, how do we learn about mosses? The mosses and stuff, he goes, Hey, Mr. Coons, how do mosses fuck like that? And everyone was like, Get the hell out of here! I'm a legitimate question. legitimate science question. And he was saying that, and he was leaving, he goes, I'm sorry, that's a science question.

That technically is the science question. And really as an adult, I'm like, if you phrased it different, it's a great question. You'd have stayed in the class. Yeah. But that's the story of our whole lives, guys like us was like, man, you should have just done it the different way. I know what you were trying to do. Yeah.

That's why you're think you're funny. Can I take? I always go the other way. Because he kicked him out and then he went, now reproductive wise. You got to ask him on his question. You just have to get there the right way. That was the thing. I could never do that in school. Me neither.

That's why I ask guys. That's why comics. Yeah. We always were trying to find the tricky funny way to do the thing, to get away with it. Because even though we knew we were smart enough to go, I know this is going to get me in trouble, but it's going to be great. And then I'm going to tell my parents, I'm just, I just drew a dick and gave it to the health teacher.

It was just a dick. They gave us pictures of dicks. I got suspended in seventh grade because we were learning about Anomonapias and acronyms. And I was just doing like wild Anomonap and acronyms and I was just doing like wild on a monopia acronyms like splat and I was like right out like a crazy shit and my teacher was like what is this it was like aliens barfing on this chair I was just like crazy shit and they're like we gotta suspend you you can't be right in that and then my mom mom was like, technically you did the assignment.

Yeah. You did it. Yeah. What do you want me to do, lady? So can I play Nintendo 64 or not? Are you going to take it out of the basement? Or can I go downstairs and play Nintendo 64? It's definitely still lived in the basement, by the way.

The Nintendo 64 couldn't get on a second floor. No, that had to stay low. That's subterranean game. That had to stay deep in a cave. That's what we did. When we played, for some reason, when we all played games like that, like when we played 007 and shit,

it was always in the dark. We would always turn off all the lights. For no other reason than it was like, made me feel like we were more in it. That's what you grew up with. I grew up with Intellivision. Well, you're fucking 50 years. I know that's crazy.

Well, you had a car. I grew up with Pong was happening. Yeah, that was like your future. I mean, yes, Santino and I were seniors in high school in PlayStation 2 came out. Wow. Which you were like, this fucking rule was a huge thing. I mean, we liked tech mobile, but we had we had the advancement from your generation of ours was in. I mean, you guys were literally playing Techno ball and we were playing NCAA college football which you could then take your guy and move him to Madden Yeah, you had like there was like a whole world you could play through EA sports I had a kid in high school

It's not as an element in the game hit it in television and and there was an RPG But the RPG was a dot That was your character, right? Oh my god. And there were just walls, right? And he goes, hey man, I'm in a dungeon right now. I was like, holy fuck. Oh my god.

And he goes check this out. And he put the dot against this line. And he hit it a couple of times. He goes, it's a secret room. It was just another little square. That's shit. I was a secret room. I was like, my butt.

What, don't. You sure a in there, you know, man? This is saying that you guys grew up with Nintendo. Yeah, I remember when I was little Game Boy came out and I got a Game Boy for my birthday and my dad was trying to outdo my mom. So he's like, yeah, I bought you a bunch of games and I was like, let's go. But he bought me Nintendo games.

Oh, dad. Cause he thought they went into the game. And I remember taking Mario Brothers 3 in my game Boy going see my dad's like alright. I got to be an adapter So that's a fact. It's such a dad. You guys ever put that snake game on the no key. No key. Oh my god All the time. See here's the thing we can we can go back and play all your games. You can't go forward and play all our games What do you mean our games to advance? your games you can't go forward and play all our games. What do you mean?

Our games too advanced. I'm gonna put them. Oh, do I'm advanced? Look at him now. I saw your whole brain act. I think the game that shocked me the most, like visually, that I was so into, Doom on PC was freaking. It's crazy, dude, that one.

I was on PC, because I was like, if you remember, they were so immersive. The original game Doom was like, it was Duke Nukem, but also It's a spear of destiny. Yes, and my fuck big dick Nick big dick my stepdad was super into computers And he was like, oh, do you want to play this game called spear of destiny? And I was like you shoot Nazis Wow, and he was like it And I remember him loading that up on the computer me be like, am I allowed to touch this computer?

And I remember him loading that up on the computer me be like, am I allowed to touch this computer? This is very things. I fucking love that. And then I love Turok dinosaur hunter. Turok Turok was fucking red. You didn't know any of those games. I know anything about it.

Man, I think I think gold and I comes out and you're like, well, that changed the game for that. Perfect dark. That was Turok dinosaur hunter. Turok. Turok shit was fucking look at the cover. Zoom in. Look at how dope that cover is.

Yeah. 64 was for me the game changer. direct dinosaur hunter. Two Rock. Two Rock shit was fucking. Look at the cover. Zoom in. Look at how dope that cover is. Yeah. 64 was for me the game changer. Yeah. The 1064 did do everything for me. The 1064 even the first Mario you're like, that's the future. But see, could they pitch that today?

Him stabbing a dinosaur in the throat? That's that new Adam Driver movie. What? 74? 65. 65. That's two rock dinosaur hunter. I agree.

I agree. Yeah. They just did that movie where they're like, what if Adam Driver fights dinosaurs? That's sick. By the way, I just saw a preview for a movie that's going to come out about GameStop, the GameStop Bitcoin. I heard it. I heard Paul Dando's in it.

Yeah. And I heard him. He's the star. I heard it. Fucking rips. I mean, it looks friends? What are my friends saw screening of it and said it fucking? It's about the game stop. You know to the moon. You know they're fucking yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, but it's Paul Dan oh Seth Rogan Pete Davidson and Sebastian Stan. Yeah, yeah, dude the trailer. I was like holy fuck and Dan oh he's so he's the best He's so like a small and so good at small stuff. He's the, he is our like a Phillips, he more Hoffman. He's like, oh, that's a really good call.

He's good. He just can do everything. He can be the riddler. He can be a, a dickwad in this. And Pete is, Pete, Pete, he's doing Pete. Pete does Pete, Pete does Pete the best. Pete does, no one's doing, no one's doing Pete better than Pete. Yeah. Pete's, Pete and right there. I love, the best. No one's doing no one's doing Pete better than Pete. Yeah Pete's Pete and right there

He's I love I always love when you see Pete movies because you go. Yeah, he just wore that there. Yeah I don't feel like changing I don't know how this kicks up for the suck It is true though. He's gotten away with that defied like just being him the most. It's that's gotten him the furthest It's it's honestly for a lot of us is it's a good lesson of just like be yourself for. Yeah, it's not going to, why, why change. But also, I was explaining that to my little sister about how she's like, she's saying how so and so, it wasn't in reference to him, but it was like, oh, that guy always does that

in, in, when I ever see him. And it's like, yeah, that's because they do the best at that thing. Why would they shift? I saw that Ricky Gervais said that years ago when he was like really blowing up after the office and all this shit and he was like getting all those movies and stuff. He was like, sometimes I see people and you know, he's like, people criticize me. They say, you do the same thing. He goes, but sometimes I prefer someone that does the same thing incredibly versus a lot of things okay. Yeah, right.

He's like, so I'm doing one thing, but I do it the best. Yeah, it's the Jack of All Trades Master and not. You might as well just do the thing that you're the fucking thing. When I see Danny McBride, I want to see him Danny McBride. Yeah, well that's why I will. Farrell has always been Will Farrell. Whether you like it or not, he stayed will for 25 fucking years. He made George Bush lovable.

Yeah, dude. You like saw George W Bush and you're like, well, in my mind, it's the will Farrell version. Same thing, we'll say that growing up in Chicago, Harry Carey, like we knew Harry Carey as kids, but when Will Farrell did it, it was like, I almost remember Will Farrell more than I remember Harry Carey. Yeah, you remember that.

Which is crazy. Impression of him. Who, who, who, I think one time floated with my mom. Harry Carey did? Yeah. At a bar. Yeah, floated with my mom. And I think, I think I might be a.

That's so good. Harry's bow. Yeah. I can give your boy a baseball. But it's going to cost you. Your mom's like, oh, I understand. What's up with the little red it oh Oh

Okay, okay, here's here's a deal. Yeah, I'm being real. I know I When I first met you the first time that you were even in my like visual range, was maybe a couple years ago, you were just about a four or two. It's only two years of face. And I had heard your name, but I couldn't put a face to the name. And then you were like, I'm Dan Soder in the hallway there at the store. And I go, oh, Oki-Doki. Every time I think about, I say okay, doke, and then years, and then all of a sudden,

there's algorithms and stuff, and then you would pop up on my thing, and then, but then I hadn't seen you until you came to my house. Yeah, right? And I didn't know how it was gonna go. Yeah. It went excellent.

Yeah, it was very fun. It was so excellent. And you and I have a good chemistry. Great. And I think we respect each other. excellent. And you and I have a good chemistry. Great. And I think we respect each other. Absolutely. But I think that in my mind and in my heart, it's a funny. That's it.

Why are you laughing? I'm being real. You're funny. In my mind and my heart, I believe that you're a part of my regime. You're a part of my company. You're a part of my, what, your troop. I like that. Yeah.

And you're always going to be in my heart. Can I tell you something? Go ahead. Always, obviously, no love you. Watch you on that TV. Thank you. It was there when you hosted my first episode of Live a Gotham was the episode before yours.

Don't remember. In New York, in 09. Yes. So it always been around you, but never really met you. You didn't meet me that night? No. Because I didn't do well, and I wanted to go get drunk. Oh, I see, OK.

Those were tough. Yeah, I think it sucked. I had watched it and made me anxious. Yeah. But now, when I got to go to Tiger belly, because I had met you in the store, and I met you briefly at a festival, but we never really got to hung out.

Doing going over to your house and hanging out with you, then getting a lunch, I was like, man, not only do I get why everybody loves this guy, but I fucking love this dude. I'll go to war for Bobbi Lee. Thank you. I was like, dude, that guy fucking rules. If you talk to anybody that I talked to after,

I went to Berks House right after that. Yeah. I was like, Bobbie Lee's the fucking man. Yeah. We just had a great lunch. He said, yeah, he agreed. Yeah, he agreed. But I'm telling you, and I love this fucking ginger.

I love this fucking guy all along. He's my heart to do. This ginger shabby and I are the same age, and we just fucking, you know. You get the same. This right here is the best It's the best it's the future in the prep past is the present. I love it. I got a tell it's all three It's a god to me. It's a goddamn legacy Bobby. I love you though, Borg. Thank you for being a bad friend Woo! Woo! Woo!

Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! I'm gonna go back to the car