Bad Friends - Sleepwalking Through Trevor Noah's House

Episode Date: April 5, 2021

New Merch Out Now! https://badfriendsmerch.com   Thank you to our Sponsors: https://www.betterhelp.com/badfriends & https://www.doordash.com code: badfriends2021 & https://www.stitchfix.com/badfriends & http://buyraycon.com/badfriends YouTube Subscribe: http://bit.ly/BadFriendsYouTubeAudio Subscribe: https://apple.co/31Jsvr2 Merch: http://badfriendsmerch.com  0:00 Santino's Tour Dates   1:50 Asians Put Salt on Fruit 3:15 Bobby's Hot Dog Story  5:30 Rudy Likes Bert & Tom Better Than Bobby & Andrew 9:00 Replacing Rudy 10:08 Rudy's Sleeping Condition  16:24 Theo Von & Andrew Schulz Call Out Bobby & Andrew  24:21 Trevor Noah's House 30:02 Do You Want a $26M House?  32:59 Hitting People with Your Car 40:19 Bobby's Racist Encounter  47:24 Young Bobby and Andrew Drug Experiences 52:39 Bobby was Possessed by Demon  1:01:27 Sleepwalking 1:05:58 Loneliest Woman in the World 1:12:00 Rudy Goes to College  1:14:00 Living in the Moment  More Bobby Lee  TigerBelly: https://www.youtube.com/tigerbelly Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bobbyleelive Twitter: https://twitter.com/bobbyleelive Tickets: https://bobbyleelive.com  More Andrew Santino  Whiskey Ginger:  https://www.youtube.com/andrewsantinowhiskeyginger    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantinoTwitter: https://Twitter.com/cheetosantino   Tickets: http://www.andrewsantino.com More Bad Friends iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-friends/id1496265971 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/badfriendspod/    Twitter: https://twitter.com/badfriends_pod    Official Website: http://badfriendspod.com/  Opening Credits and Branding: https://www.instagram.com/joseph_faria & https://www.instagram.com/jenna_sunday Credit Sequence Music: http://bit.ly/RocomMusic // https://www.instagram.com/rocom  Character Design: https://www.instagram.com/jeffreymyles Bad Friends Mosaic Sign: https://www.instagram.com/tedmunzmosaicart  Produced by: George Kimmel & Bryce Hallock - 7EQUIS Podcast Producers: Jenna Sunde, Joseph Faria, Andrés Rosende   This video contains paid promotion. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Merch! We got that merch, baby. Look at that. Listen, the other day I was walking around the house and Jules was wearing, Rudy was wearing this sweatshirt and I saw the bag and I made, put joy in my heart. It was joy in her heart. Rudy put down those knives. This is an authentic Bad Friends sweatshirt. That's right. And if you want to be cool, go to BadFriendsMerch.com or if you're on YouTube, look down below. There's all the, on the merch bar, you can click on one of those sweaters down below

or whatever else we got there and buy yourself a Rudy hoodie. Also, I'm going to be Salt Lake City, Dallas, Houston, Boston, Atlantic City, and then a bunch of other stuff. Go to AndrewSantino.com for dates, AndrewSantino.com for dates, I'm on tour, yeah. And I'm going to be nowhere. You're not doing stand up yet. Yep. Come see me live, AndrewSantino.com.

You two are Bad Friends. Who are these two idiots? Why dude? I'm an Asian dude. You two are disgusting. Well, you two are something. We're Bad Friends. What a melon sugar, hi.

What a melon sugar, hi. Guy, he loves fruit. What a melon, who is that? Harry Styles. Harry Styles. He loves the fruit. Well. Is watermelon pussy?

Is watermelon pussy? Yeah, because Kalala goes, maybe it has to do with genitals. Watermelon sugar, hi, you know what I mean? Yeah, well, can you? But there's no sugar in vagina. Yeah, there is. No, it's. The good one's a sweet one.

I know. I guess when, you know what, there was a picture of like a, when a mango is cracked open. There's more salt, I think. In watermelon? No, in pussy. Yeah, it's so much more. It's more salt. It's a salt block.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like a shirt. You know what it is? It's like one of those, you know how like Asians that they, they like to put salt on their apple? Have you ever had to try that? What? You never, yeah.

Because it, whenever a Kalala makes like fruits. She puts salt on an apple. She doesn't make fruit, but she slices the fruit. Right. Right. She doesn't make it. Right. And she's, she'll, she's put sprinkle salt on it.

I've never, do you do that? Yeah. She, you know what she said to me, she goes, when I came home last week, she goes. Wait, time out before you get into that. In my life, I've never heard of salt on a fruit. Not apple. It's more mango and papaya. Okay.

See, I get like tahin on fruit makes sense because it's spicy. What's tahin? Hirano tahin. What is tahin? Tahin is like the, have you never gotten the fruit cart, the, the Mexican guy fruit cart on the corner? No, I don't do it. He puts tahin.

I don't do fruit cart. What? No, because one time I was in Hawaii and I was with my Sarah Highland when I was dating her. Rest in peace. She's still alive. Oh, she is? Yeah.

Oh shit. Rest in peace. Yeah. Hotel. Love. You've been there? Yeah. It's beautiful.

Yeah. And then back then, I don't think, because I just recently went there. They don't have it anymore, but back then when you're out there, there were just some guys selling hot dogs. Just down on the street? No. You're at, you're at the resort and you're sitting there. You know how they sell like $20 ice cones?

Yeah. Which is crazy. Yeah, but I'll take, I'll do it. I'll do it. I'll do it. I'll do it. I'll do it. I'll do it.

I'll do it. I'll do it. I'll do it. I'll do it. So I go, I'll have a hot dog and I ate it and we, we, right after that, we packed to go to the airport and we missed the flight. Because of the hot dog? Because I literally couldn't, um, move.

Yeah. You know what I mean? Because it wasn't a hot dog. What do you mean? It wasn't a hot dog. What was it? No. It's cat meat?

No, I don't know. Yeah. I don't know what they get out there. What do they have? Hawaii's America. Hawaii's not America. It's the 50th one. It's not.

It is. It's a part of the Confederacy. There's 42 states in the United States. There's 15. 42. Oh, the rest of them are like, um, liars. Like Puerto Rican, when they, the Puerto Rico now, whenever I see Puerto Rico, they're not American.

They try to say, oh no, we're a part of the, no you're not. And Texas doesn't want to be in the United States. Yeah. They said we're not, we will be our own country. You know how we knew Puerto Rico wasn't when the fucking, uh, what it was, the tsunami or hurricane hit? Mm-hmm. Right?

The tsunami hit them through fucking, um, paper towels, paper towels, yeah, at their faces. But it would have helped, paper towel, tsunami. Those bounty quicker picker uppers are unbelievable, the amount of water that you can get on those things. I love tsunamis. Don't you love tsunamis? I love me a good tsunami, baby.

Oh, wait, you reminded me when you said salt on fruit, my buddy puts in the northeast part of the United States, you know, like New England and all that, they put cheese on pie. Yeah. No. They put cheese on like savory pies. Apple pie. Not apple pie. They will put.

I refuse. They will put a slice of cheese on it. That's crazy. They do. It's probably good. Incorrect. Try. Try.

Trace, get us, next week, get us apple pie and slices of, it's supposed to be sharp, thick, Tillamook cheddar cheese. Awesome. Or when you get like a dumpling, like sometimes we get dumplings and all over a bunch and then I'll like, I'll think, oh my God, there's a pork and shrimp dumpling and I'll bite into it, thinking it's going to be, and it's a red bean. I hate red bean. I hate red bean.

Oh. It's the best. It's so gross. Oh, fuck you about red bean. Red bean paste is so. Let me say something right now. That's not at all. It just doesn't taste good.

You know what she said though? What? She goes, um, last week she comes home, she goes, Tito Bobby over here, and she goes, the bird and Tom over here, they're just nicer than you and Andrew. Are you being serious? Wait a minute. You think those guys are nicer than us? No.

I just, I just like their company. Oh my God. Oh my God. You don't like birds. You don't like birds. Oh God. It's, I think. And you don't like our company?

No, I also like your company. But you, but you like theirs more? A little. Oh my God. Go to their show. It's like I'm a vampire and the throwing holy water on my skin. Yeah. Yeah.

You really like those guys. I just see them as like, like fathers and you two are like, brothers. Uncles. Uncles. Ah. What? I don't get it at all. That seems the same.

I think uncles are always cool. Yeah. Yeah. Uncles are the ones that let you get away with stuff. Yeah. We're not going to snitch. They're like the cooler fathers. Ah.

So we're like fathers too, but not as cool. I guess. Like we like neglect our kids and stuff. Yeah. We go out for cigarettes and we don't come back for a couple of days. So she likes them better. That's a little annoying. I got to tell you because of how well we've treated you.

And you know what I just said to Bobby? What did I do when I called you before we came? I said, last night, I had a conversation with someone about you leaving and going to school and she said, what are you going to do without Rudy? And I said, I don't know. That really hurts my feelings. I haven't really thought about it. I got sad and I said, I'm going to miss.

Can I have a moment? I said, I'm going to miss. I'm going to miss Rudy. I don't know what we're going to do, you know? And then I got really kind of depressed about it. And I said to him, I said, if she goes to UC Davis, maybe we can fly her down every week. Well, first of all, she got accepted to UC Davis. Did we say that already?

We didn't do it publicly. And she also got accepted to what? UC Riverside. UC Riverside. What's up? Riverside, home of the River Rats. What else? Home of the Finding River Rats.

So the school that you want to go to is Cal State Long Beach, right? No, Long Beach State. Same thing. Cal State Long Beach, Long Beach State. No, Long Beach State and there's California. What? I think it's Long Beach State. Are they the same things?

Long Beach State, Cal State Long Beach? I think it's... But I think it's... Let's just Google it. Cal State Long Beach? I thought it was Long Beach State. Yeah, it's Cal State. Look at Pete googling away, Pete.

California, Cal State Long Beach. Wow. Yeah, you're wrong. I always call it Long Beach State. Oh, look at there. Long Beach State is also... It's the same thing. Yeah.

But it's the proper way to say it. No, because right on the website it says... What says it first, though? No, no, no, dude. Look, click on Long Beach State. Look at the actual Google thing. It says Cal State Long Beach. I know, but Long Beach State University Athletics.

Let's move on. It's one and the same. Okay. It's like you and me. I've never heard it that way, but that's fine. You've never heard of Long Beach State? I've heard of Cal State Long Beach. I used to live in Long Beach.

We call it Long Beach State. Okay, that's fine. That's the school you want to go to. Yeah, but they haven't emailed me. So I think they rejected me. No, that's not true. No, here's what we're going to do now. I want everyone to go on their Facebook page.

Yeah, we've got a campaign to get her accepted to Cal State Long Beach. Because if that doesn't happen, she's going to go to fucking UC Davis. I don't want that. And then we're going to have to replace her. That's too far. Yeah. And so here's what I also want to do is I want to do... And Andreas, memorize this.

Just in case she has to move. Memorize this? Write it down. Just memorize it. All right, put it in that bank of yours. Do not write it down. Put it in that memory bank. Don't write it down anywhere.

Don't save it. Yes. Go ahead. Whatever. So anyways, we want to hold auditions. For her to replace Rudy? Yeah. And I want her to be the judge of them.

Oh, that's great. Because she can only judge who replaces. 100%. Only you. So everyone submit an audition. First of all, you have to live in... Southern California. The LA area.

Yeah. LA County. Specifically LA County. LA County, number one, number two, you have to bring... This is what you have to bring. You have to bring her essence. You have... Which is...

Yes. Island energy. Big island energy. Yeah. Number two, you have to be innocent. Okay. A weird word, but yeah. No.

Why is that? Why? Innocence is weird. There's something about it that's like... She's purely innocent. She's like sleeping beauty here. She has knives on the wall. I understand that, but she hasn't used them.

That we know of. In the middle of the night, she's after us killing. She cleans them off, comes back in the studio. She's like, good night for tomorrow. And then she leaves. How crazy would that be if... She went on killing sprees? You know, there was like a night stalker thing in LA.

Right? And then at three in the morning... Because this is what she does. This is crazy. Yeah. And this happens every fucking night. Don't laugh. Every fucking night, this happens.

So Kalyla and I are sleeping. And we hear... Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. There's an alarm ring. Right? And you can let it go for an hour. She won't wake up. It's in her room.

It's in her room. Next to her face. Yeah. Literally... The phone is... Because she lives... It's a double bed, right? So, you know, she's a scrawny body.

So it's like right next to her head, right? Yeah. And she has two dogs sleeping with her. In bed? The dogs sleeping in the bed? Yeah. And when I go into the room to tell her to turn it off, the dogs are... Up.

They're up. Yeah. They're fucking up, right? Well. And I go, Jules, this is how she sleep. Jules. Jules! Turn the fucking alarm off.

She goes, okay, okay. And she pushes her snooze. But I don't know this. Ugh. I go back into the room. 15 minutes. 15 minutes later. Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep.

This goes on all night long. So what time does this start? 1 in the morning. Why? Why? I set my alarm to 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. Why? Because I don't wake up at the sound of it, so I need to hear it a lot of times.

You got to go to therapy. Something is deeply wrong. There's something deeply wrong. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7. I would make you sleep outside. If you lived at my house, you're in the garage. And her room's right next to ours. We share a wall.

Oh, what? Oh, it's a nightmare. Nightmare. Nightmare. Why do you do that? I've never heard of that in my life. It's so strange. I don't know.

Yeah. I don't know anything. Right? Why do you sleep with three lights on? You sleep with the lights on? Not just the lights. She has a fucking lamp on. The room lights.

Right? And a night light. Jules, what are you doing? With the alarm. Because I can't wake up with the alarm. And I'm afraid I'm going to sleep in. So I need the light. She also has a problem.

She asked this and you have to admit this. Okay? You have a sleeping problem. Yeah. No shit. No. She has a real condition. She'll sleep all night long.

And she'll sleep all day long. It's like you. You sleep 10 hours. 12 hours. She sleeps about 15, 16 hours. All right. She's got your beat. Yeah.

What's wrong? I don't know. I always feel tired. Why do you always feel tired? Are you sad? No. Because I sleep a lot. So it makes you feel more tired.

It probably does. Yeah. You should only get like 6 to 8 hours. I've never heard that before in my life. So you don't hold auditions. Of sleeping that much. And not being able to just like get to sleep and stay asleep. And then when you get to sleep, what wakes you up?

At the callilism. Yeah. Do you ever wake up like this? Do you have those? No. No panic sleeps? No. Here's another thing that she does.

Sorry. She farts in her sleep? No. She never farts. I fart. Yeah. But I don't hear. She always goes, I farted.

And nobody knew. No, no, no one knew. When you farted, the dogs sniff it? Sometimes. All the time, my dog. Why? Just they dart right for it. Yeah.

And the dogs are like, what's for? The dog for my breath. That shit breath? Yeah, poop breath. Yeah. Your mouth and a butthole. You fucking talk to me. Do you think that I have bad breath?

Yeah, I habe been doing games. Honestly? This six foot thing because of the panty has served our relationship well. Very well. No dude, you don't have bad breath. You have nice teeth, smile. Look at the camera and smile. How did the show go last night?

It was fun. I had a great time. Doing these shows back is- Which one, was it Schuyler or was it Mark? Mark. Cerro Tello. No, no Mark Hays. Cerro Tello is another show.

Yeah. Hollywood outside the Houston Brothers yeah two guys that own this is a mark Mark Hayes doesn't show wear he's got one too they all do them at the west side at Jam in the van and then they do then they have other ones elsewhere but they're a crowd yeah how many well the one in Hollywood's like a 150 yeah this other ones maybe 70 I can't really it's outside it's a small outside thing it's nice I honestly it's so nice to be back and to be trying new jokes I could called every fucking day now just do it I can't why it's it's Brennan was there

last night good comics are doing them Sarah Silverman was there like yeah like accomplished that one they'll do all they'll do all of them I've done Jam with them I've done Nova I've done both so Sarah was there yes Sarah was there she she did it Rory Albanese me Sarah well last night wasn't they weren't there but that was the other show I did with them but Brennan was there last night Ian Edwards is there last night yeah man speaking of scholar he called me we should call him he's got like the you want to talk about crazy energy this guy he's I can't even talk to him right now why are you mad at him well I'll just

can I just say something I did the other day to him yeah before you call him yeah of course but don't bring it up I won't I don't know if I should say this but say it so we do an a meeting together and well he's publicly sober yes and he'll do so he's lead he leads the meetings so he calls on people oh boy there's like 20 people yeah he always calls me last yet to give you time no no no because everyone get you're on time receive talk for two minutes but I'm saying he's giving you time to think about what you're gonna say that's I want to sleep I want to speak speak early people tune out they just say that I want to speak

early no he doesn't so well you say people tune out because you want people to hear your story I'm I have funny things to say I know see yeah it's a show it's a set you're doing a set oh always always I won't try to get the last that's why I think a lot of comics gets over so they can go do sets in front of a yeah there's a lot of great comics on this you know I mean this zoom a meeting like legends oh right that's right it's zoom yeah so what I do is I'll do this right when he's about to call me to go last I'll leave so did you just walk out I just leave of a zoom meeting and then I'll text them I go yeah my battery was

a liar what is this what again these guys it's over but it's dumb well I mean it's like I want to hear what he's fucking says but what does he say it's like a high school fucking football team go we can beat the Patriots we already won yeah yeah what do you can't we're fucking them we're monsters what does he say you guys are bad friends you guys are both you guys that I told I wouldn't do podcast with Bobby Lee's not even awake right now and it's 4 p.m. in the afternoon that's funny can you imagine doing a podcast with Theo well first of all when he said when he

said that both of us right have asked me to do but I never I swear to God on my mother's life sure and she's the only one I have right yeah and me you have that I've never asked he's the last guy I would ever do a lot first of all you would never get one done yeah you mean I don't know man I'm in Oklahoma man doing casino or I'm with fucking you know some UFC fighters you know it hangs up with you yeah I'm with Corey and San Hagen hey I love I by the way I like him a lot no he's he's really close no he's really close we're saying yeah San Hagen's the shit he's really close with what's the kid from Louisiana what's

wrong with a trick or yeah yeah Dustin Poirier Dustin Poirier yeah he loves him that is a funny clip I love Schultz I that is about you two are bad for you making fun of our show that's funny dude yeah that's why you fucking ran away to Nashville he's here I'm gonna see him tonight or tomorrow where he's back in LA he comes in LA every five seconds a guy's been in fucking 800 grand a year on plane flight these fuckers it's like you know everyone's I'm getting text from comics I love these should we move to Austin idiots yeah everybody wants to move to Austin no and it's like well there's no comedy scene in LA why

because Joe wrote I love he's the king no he's I don't want to attack him no it's like it's like there's so many other hacks yeah right and new ones come on it's like at least calm this is not dead the whole thing is so cocky me in the words of Bill Burr Bill Burr said it best he goes dude only one of those guys has a hundred million dollars and I was like yeah that's right yeah only one of those guys is retiring those are moving is it no he that's what he's saying what would he move for yeah he he has a wife and kids here like what yeah yeah I get why some people are moving we gotta there's certain people we have to

convince to stay though well Bill's got to stay Bill's got to stay I think who else I'm sad that Tommy Segura and Christina I know that's sad I said goodbye to the crew I think Bert's got to stay Bert will stay I he loves LA yeah he was like Natasha like girls like Natasha they're gonna stay Mosha the motion a jazz and like will stay Sebastian will stay yeah you think Sebastian will stay 100% yeah yeah he they love it here but like what's yeah what I you know it's just the whole idea house is like it's not a house it's it's a compound that's the compound it's an institution yeah it's like when you

have a school you know you drive by like you know a city building you know I mean like the capital or you know I mean that's where he lives it's it's insane is that the Hall of Records no that's yeah yeah you know he lives where Gwen Stefani used to live yeah he bought their house yeah and you go you've been there right Jules big it's really big yeah yeah it's just so much money it's so much money I don't know if I'd ever spend a ton of money on a house like that that's a lot of money you know what I would if I I would never even get that much money but even if I did I'd be like that seems like so much to buy a house I

would do what Craig Ferguson did yeah you know what he did no if you go to his place he bought four houses and just enclose the whole fucking thing so he made it so if you go through the gate then you see houses and you're like he owns all of it wow and then you know who else is doing that is the director he did what's his name he's one of the biggest directors in the world Christopher Nolan oh yeah Nolan is doing he bought four houses and then just kind of enclosed it oh wouldn't you do that I don't know and then we could all live together that would you want to live with me I would want to live on the same

land as you not in the same house no no we would have a different house right but do wouldn't that be nice who would live in our little plot oh it'd be great it'll be you in one house cancel guys so we protect them we I've always wanted to protect some of you are a protector yeah yeah the one thing that I you know the pandemic was terrible for me and for many many other people but the one thing that I found solace in is it the right word solace is right yeah yeah is better help it really I got into therapy and it really changed my life for the better is there something interfering with your happiness or preventing you from

achieving your goals I'm sure there are a lot of things but I'm gonna you have hope better help is there for you will assess your needs and it'll match you with your own licensed professional therapists you can start communicating in under 48 hours it's a great service my friends yeah better help is committed to facilitating great therapeutic matches so they can make it easy for you to change counselors if need be they want you to start living a happier life today Bob and I have talked about this very openly we both use therapy we believe in it yeah this is this is professional counseling is real and it's and it's by

the way it's a little bit cheaper than traditional offline counseling you can do this from anywhere you are into world from the comfort of your own home yeah this podcast is sponsored by better help and bad friends listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com slash bad friends again that's better help.com slash bad friends. DoorDash! Hey Andrew yes I just want to pull up this is my DoorDash app yeah and these are the things I order oh let me see what I ordered so I ordered best damn burritos from March 26th Morton Steakhouse on January 19th ooh so dong dong I don't know what that is but my point though

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friends 2021 don't forget that's code bad friends 2021 for 25% off your first order with DoorDash subject change term 20 21 bad friends 2021 anchor if you haven't heard about anchor it's the easiest way to make a podcast let me explain oh please it's free awesome that's cool these are there are creation tools that allow you to record and edit your podcast right from your phone or your computer you do it from your phone like on the go oh my god the bus or the subway you can do it that's cool anchor will distribute your podcast for you so it can be heard on Spotify Apple podcast and many many many many many more you

can make money from your podcast too no minimum listenership how about that you can make money with no minimum listenership it's everything you need to make a podcast all in one place where do we have to go Bob download the free anchor app or go to anchor.fm to get started did you see Trevor Noah's house Google Trevor Noah's house you know he bought like a 24 million dollar house yeah 24 million dollars why look at that thing look at the fucking size of that thing where is it in LA Beverly Hills I imagine he lives in LA now yeah 27.5 million dollar Bel Air home 27 million dollars my god I tweeted I wrote

comedy central is paying yeah how come I never got any of that money I think for my half hour they gave me like a hundred bucks you and I slept at a Marriott courtyard I knew what it was poor that poor he I was in South Africa you met him in South Africa well you know the story between me and Trevor right no so I was in South Africa and he he has said this out loud also in front of people so it doesn't I feel a weird sharing this gone so I was in South Africa with Pablo Francisco Jeff Dunham we're doing some sort of festival sure comedy festival and every show it would play this is right when comedy was kind of

new in South Africa so it's like every show that you would do it was sold out packed totally like you do a coffee shop and it was just like the rafters would be filled like people be looking through windows on top you know I mean on the rooftop I mean it was insane and we would do every night we would do this theater that was like 2,000 2,500 seats or whatever every night for like 30 days straight back to back yeah it was crazy wow how much time would you each do 15 15 minutes yeah yeah it's not bad and but we don't have always had this kid on it yeah Trevor Noah yeah and he would crush at the time he was just a local

nobody known no he would have he was like known in South Africa because like you would go down a street and there would be like a German watch company and Trevor Noah would be the model right and he he had this German like supermodel girlfriend and he had he had money really the biggest guy in South Africa but he would honor he's the nicest guy who was on our shows so funny and so nice mm-hmm and I just go dude do you have reps and he goes no Matt you know I don't have any reps so I called CAA for him yeah and you got him signed to see so I called CAA and I called Matt Blake and I go there's this kid he's like I'm not

gonna fucking sound African to see this kid and I go all right so then like months later or whatever when I'm back in America I get in contact with Trevor Trevor goes I'm doing gig in Las Vegas so I go Matt you gotta go see this kid I met one song he flew out in song yeah and then he signed him mm-hmm wow so Matt Blake goes you commission and then when I when Trevor got the Daily Show I try to get a correspondence audition not a chance no not a chance you don't that I don't see you in a suit on that show at that time I needed something I know but you wouldn't be good on that show all right I'm just

saying they shot okay look into that camera and do let's do it no I know because I remember because what I'll tell you why I thought he was a correspondence boobily no I was doing um you know Larry Wilmore of course they flew me to New York to audition on that show because they love you no so I it was the same type of you know job right like a correspondency kind of a job and I tested you know I mean in front of all the Comedy Central and Larry was there but could you imagine and I did okay yeah you because you're funny yeah so it's like I just thought I had nothing else

going you're right I'm not right for it you'd be terrible on that show like unless they needed like a tornado why can't it be weatherman they don't have weather to come up with a different like correspondence weather go yeah go it's gonna be sunny out in LA and there's gonna be earthquake cut sell it sell it sell it into the camera no see you're not doing this you would be bad on that I would be that's why I'm so shy now you're not shy oh my god I'm trying to know really you're shy I've seen your butthole outside anyway so then you know years passed and I thought maybe he just kind of forgot about me yeah you know

I mean yeah I'm so proud of him by the way and then I was with Delia and we were at a CAA Christmas party and he rolls up and I remember like my manager being there and a bunch of people being there and he walks into this party he sees me I haven't seen him since South Africa well and and I remember like I'm not kidding you Jennifer Aniston was like standing right here there was like people just standing around and he just kind of walks in and he goes there he is to me and he tells the story about him getting signed because if you I don't know how I helped him and all that kind of stuff right yeah and it made me feel

like I wanted to cry that's really sweet I mean so it was a nice you know and then he got in a jetpack and took off probably a great guy yeah yeah but what a nice talent I've heard he's a great dude I've never met a great guy but I just I'm blown away by the amount amount of money he deserves that whatever that is that is I mean do you want a 27 million dollar home Jules I lived with other people yeah he lives with one girl one no that's how much do you need would you buy a house that big Jules if you had all that money not that big what's how much money would you spend on a house not a million less a million yeah what are

we talking is a hundred thousand big so a hundred thousand dollars probably get you a closet in that house no what a hundred thousand dollars it would probably get you a nice tent from REI that you could throw up underneath the wall yeah I mean it would be maybe a porta potty and maybe a nice you would get a sleeping bag a canteen a little grill heater yeah a grill heater yeah right and then and then maybe like I'm my pillow I'm my pillow you can get a my pillow no you love that guy you love that guy and you get a cricket wireless phone that I'm sure you could call some people on from I think it's noon to six is

their only time they work new balance socks new balance socks yeah double layered a layer a hundred grand man I love you how much is a car you know how much a car is 50,000 50 so you're saying a car is 50,000 my house for a hundred thousand yeah no could you get it could you get it crazy could you get a trailer for a hundred thousand maybe yeah yeah yeah of course you could yeah you could well trailer would be nice no you can live in a nice trailer that's fine see you know what yeah she would you know because I know that she's a dog lover you can have dogs you tons of dogs in the trailer she too don't want a yard

um I don't want a yard where's what state the United States do you want to live on I want to go to San Francisco that's still in the same state yeah that's a little cheap yeah the city of San Francisco hundred grand I think it's the cheap one of the cheapest places to live right now that's in four months or rent no 100 grand yeah maybe three maybe two and a half two and a half security deposit you're done you're you have one month maybe the last month free so yeah you get you'll get June taking care of yeah we have problems our dogs are such a problem isn't another problem one of my dog's eyes fucking fucked up and then

I think it's internal bleeding I fucked it up you hit it no way I hit with a car with your house in the window I saw a dog one time in Hollywood jump out the back of a truck when it was moving and it scared me yeah jump right out of the back of a truck did it live yeah you know I never didn't stick around I had a meeting I saw I used to see I should drive by every once in a while like a dog on the freeway that it was here hmm and I used to feel nothing not a thing because I'm the one that hit it no because this is when I have you ever hit an animal with your car what have you hit I've probably killed about six

rabbits rabbits run why rabbits are fine I'm fine maybe one cat in my life cat that's sad that's sad it's back I hit a human yeah I hit a human too yeah yeah yeah I did I hit a guy yeah yeah I hit a guy in the rain far fast I was going pretty fast was he hospitalized as far as I know I was gone so I don't know hit run I did not stick around it was in run no no I did stay he was he he left the scene I swear to God he was acting real skittish and his body was like we gotta go I was like hold on wait the ambulance is coming I called the police I want to make sure okay he's like we got to go man they were kind of

transients and they had bags and but I hit him pretty hard I hit him so hard his head shattered my witch like glass in my face I had little pieces of glass that cut my face did I ever talk about how I hit that guy no what guy oh he was paralyzed from the waist out you paralyzed the guy yeah don't laugh Jesus I'm so shocking you smoked a guy with your car I think he's who he can walk now oh he got it back well he is a limp he's a limp you drags his leg oh he's a drag yeah he's a dragger I was um this is so fucking crazy well card the Prius no this is way back when I was a kid this is this is in the 80s okay and um so what

I went to so when I was 17 I got sober yeah so I would go to these meetings and I had this really just white truck but it was like the windows were broken the engine was it would always explode it was like it's hard to get started it was a fucked up car what brand Toyota oh yeah what do you mean so I was going so I was at this meeting and I don't know for legally I fuck it I can sue it again the cops aren't listening right so I one cop so this this meeting was in the hill I was coming down this hill it was at night and I was taking a ride but there was no stop sign there was a stop sign but it was like mowed over so that's what

the when the cops came yeah but still I should have known that the because there was another you know street this way right when I take a ride right so I took a ride and I didn't stop I just went I just I think I just accelerated oh and I like this and I hear all I hear is a spark I see a spark in my rear view window mirror from the back of my truck and then I just see a body being hurled in front of my fucking car it was a guy on a bike yeah yeah and I so you do what you normally do in that situation stuff on the gas yeah you accelerate right and then I hear right would you do right yeah right and then

I go and I just kept going I know it's bad where's he now well then then I pull over and I look and it's just like it's like Mad Max oh he's in bad shape I mean it's just like his motorcycles and pieces oh in the street I just see this body laying in the middle of the street did his shoes come off and I did a cackle you laughed not just laugh it was like a mad because I thought oh I'm going to prison for the rest of my life so might as well get it out now so I just laughed because I like this is my life so like like the Joker you're having like a crazy person right like Ayina in the night right I imagine what

he's thinking he's laying there right right and you just hear the in the background he's like kill me just take me out so I get out and you know your adrenaline is pumping right so like I grab his body why because I wanted to pull him he's in the middle of street yeah but you're not supposed to touch the people that I don't know the rules that's the rule all right but I don't know so I pull him on the side of the street I start I don't know why but I start grabbing motorcycle parts well I think I'm Asian I can do it you know I mean you're ready to rebuild it yeah so I'm trying to put together what is

this doing you know I'm trying to put it together and I just want the ambulance coming all that stuff and then did you talk to him do you say anything that's all right I didn't see you know what did he say the blood in his mouth so so then what happens is the next thing I know oh so what happened that night because we had no cell phones back then right so I went to the nearest pay phone and I'm pretty court I'm like hands are bloody I'm 17 years old by the way yeah I'm in high school yeah and I call my dad hello he was sleeping yeah and I go dad I ran somebody oh that's your problem like he didn't even like most

parents would be like you know I mean oh my god we do what do we do can we get there this is a hung up yeah that's your problem he's right I hung up right your problem fuck right and then my truck was fine the truck was okay yeah thank god there's dense but there was always dense you know look at my Prius terrible shape so I went home and then the next couple years I end up like every other week just being in courtrooms and meeting lawyers insurance so you got sued I was in trouble how much did I mean did you have a million dollars you got what from my insurance what did you end up would you had to pay I don't

remember yeah yeah personal injury but then I found out through my lawyer and he goes that guy was a bad guy no so you should I go why and he goes I don't remember this it was like either he was charged with the rape right or some sort of molestation molestation charges he was like some kind of guy that had a big criminal record so that was the way I was able to go I'm okay with you feel okay yeah that was a tool for God God said I'm gonna yeah actually God tried to have you kill him and you just maybe I didn't succeed in the mission I saw you know how many people get hit on bicycles down there and in Orange

County in San Diego is insane because all those windy turns and they're all I see him all the time last time I was at La Jolla Comedy Store a guy got fucking hit smoked and died like the Friday before the show I was coming back from golfing with a friend in northern San Diego and they had the road closed you know that via whatever that is to get down to the store you know what I mean down to to get up to what's it called what's the neighborhood that the store at La Jolla and and they had closed the road because a guy had got hit on his bicycle and I had it had just happened you know like soon enough where they

hadn't cleaned up yeah wow this fucking dude's bicycle was maybe 50 yards away from where the body was oh my lord 50 half football field half of a house half a house wow the house is 150 yeah it's a car he hit him so fucking hard and his shoes came off that's why I asked you their shoes come off all the time they do people get hit by cars their shoes come off wow yeah I can tell why why because you're flying things come off yeah but shoot my Dorothy was flying in the whirlwind whatever her shoes stayed on they did yeah well look at my shoes are so tight you couldn't these wouldn't come off if I get these

will fall off though I don't know why your story brought this up but and I had just gotten a haircut and my hair was like a mushroom you had bangs no it was like a mushroom like I'm mad I was so mad yeah yeah but like that while I was playing a character then you're literally had this like mushroom haircut and I remember being so mad like even like they didn't want to go down to La Jolla I'm like I can't go down there with this haircut and don't be a pussy bro right so we drive down there and it's like night it's like 7 p.m. or whatever yeah and we're driving down Gerard Street or whatever or Pearl Street Pearl Pearl yeah

and there was this kid in the corner of Pearl he's wearing a skateboard and he does this he goes and I just so I was so sensitive about my fucking haircut right I go Chris pull over right and I run out right this kid the car right and then once I get to the kid I realize the kids like 6 3 he's a man yeah but he's a kid a kid but a man yeah he had like he was a huge kid and I but I was like still like I'm gonna die but are you racist you're me you like racism you know like I didn't know what to say right don't be racist please and I kind of walked away if he was smaller though I think I would have gone what were you

gonna do punch him oh that's true yeah and it's a what a waste yeah what would you do to the skateboard get steal a skateboard I guess yeah see you eat so funny as a guy you've never like experienced that type of thing racism yeah well people make fun of me that's I mean there's not the same though I think it's the same because I was made fun of because of my personality and why I was as a person okay but like making fun of you because you're Asian is making fun of you because it's something you can't help right like I have red hair I got made fun of constantly for having red hair I can't help that oh

that's true you know yeah it's not like getting picked on for something that I could I could service or change but do you get any you so you get like into yourself like oh what like at night I used to hate it used to drive me nuts as a kid yeah as anything does when you're a kid yeah but then I just then you grow up and you're like I don't I couldn't care it doesn't matter it does once you find how little you but I'm but I'm not saying it's the same as someone being who that's not the same yeah yeah but we all get picked on for something did you ever get picked on Jules um there's this guy in school and

then what's his fucking name here or in the Philippines here what what what who is it but he wouldn't I don't fucking care give me his name google and Pete what's cool you know you know he was just a classmate from English and then he classmate from English good Google very good Pete very good so go ahead and then he just asked me like what are you and I said Filipino and then I don't know I have an accent and then he imitated a Filipino accent but not a love and now did it did this Filipino accent get a laugh no I didn't laugh it was just to her oh just to you yeah and then we were seated what do you say to him because I

didn't want to fight so I just like haha so you did laugh like a genuine love that's a really fucking you know on an enthusiastic laugh haha yeah and then I didn't like talk to him again what's his first name you don't need to say I don't know I don't know Isaac Isaac his name was Isaac yeah Google Isaac from English yeah so and then you had to sit next to him every day for that year yeah but I didn't talk to him like he would try to talk to me and oh this is he has a crush on you that's what it is that's a clear if he continued to talk to you after he's like where are you from you're like I'm from the Philippines he's

like oh that's weird and then he went home at night and was like learned everything about the fucking Philippines and got obsessed because he has a crush on you that's why he wanted to talk to you this is a loser young weirdo what do they call the kids that are what are they called in cells me in cells yeah yeah that's him there he is and that Pete found him is that him yeah you guys you guys see this guy was cute like no it was ugly yeah stitch fix oh my lord hey my problems are over yeah because now you don't have to go shopping I don't have to shop on lights it's just a hassle shopping is annoying yeah yeah and once

you fill out the form it's the little form there it's easy you tell stitch they have a guy you I mean or a girl or human just a person yeah they pick out things and they generally pick out things for you yeah that you wear yeah you want yeah it's really it's nice I kept jeans two shirts and one pair of shoes so far and am I passed how much money I thought I was gonna spend yeah yeah but you know what it's nice stuff I don't really care at first I was like oh I wonder if I'm gonna like any of it I do shopping for clothes is daunting and stitch fix offers clothing hand selected by expert stylist for your unique style

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hidden which is kind of cool I really do enjoy them Raycons offering 15% off all their products for our listeners and here's what you got to do to get it go to buy raycon.com slash bad friends that's it you get 15% off your entire Raycon order so feel free to grab a pair and a spare for someone else it's 15% off at buyraycon.com slash bad friends buyraycon.com slash bad friend it's funny like think about like what you were like at 19 me you're the things I was doing at 19 and all the history that I had before 19 what was 19 sophomore in high school I mean in college I mean I was a wild I mean how I was I was in

college being a fucking maniac but I was also I mean okay by the time you were 19 right let me ask you something yeah had you smoked weed yeah had you been drunk before a thousand times cocaine no any LSD or anything acid mushrooms I said a lot right a lot of mushrooms I only did acid twice yeah I did like by the time I was anti I'd probably done 60 hits of acid that's a five I've only done two twice I'm only two tabs oh I didn't math before at 19 never did math and that's obvious prostitutes I've had no yeah no sucked dicks didn't never did you ever tried it you got me beat yeah molested didn't happen yeah yeah no

sorry so imagine now I look at the night when I see 90 and when I see her every day yeah I think wow what a nice line she gets straight A's that's where innocent came from yeah that's why I see innocent because you've never had a drink of alcohol 19 I did I tried to weed when did you try weed when when what last year with Roger what really you smoked weed last year with Roger how much three did you get high no sometimes people don't get high you took three hits yeah three yeah did you inhale it yeah even your lungs I don't think some people don't inhale and then they're like I'm not high it's a will

you're not smoking yeah I did Roger saw me do you want to do it again yeah because I want to feel the high you want to feel all you do you know what I you know we get some weed fly in some weed you know race you know what I mean I was acid because acid's fun because for the first 45 minutes you don't feel anything right this drugs like the first time this drug sucks and then and then I like when things gets pixelated on acid when it becomes I kind of like Minecraft that's and a lot of people want to go to like people always go like let's take acid and go into the desert nope or the forest nope I'm a mall guy

yeah I like going to the mall that's cool because I like seeing people's teeth eating walking around and it's just so fucking I everything becomes like cartoony for me yeah see I like that but then I saw a demon once in my room and I fucking I was fucking I had this Duran Duran right poster of my room yeah of Rio you know that one woman right bring it up so people see what I'm so I was it had a bad tree I was sitting there and I was in the walls started closing in on me I hate that right and then the Rio yeah so dude yeah so she's right I had that on my wall right and she is just like this

right she looks so she went and she came out of the fucking poster poster and she was red with fucking wings and she was coming toward me and I was in the corner of my room my dad coming hey what are you doing be quiet asleep are you afraid of the real poster yeah yeah yeah I one time I did mushrooms at a concert and I came home and I thought the mushrooms were done yeah like I was like these are done these are out of my body yeah so I but I laid in bed and I couldn't sleep like it my come down was just started to let you was just I was anxious and shaky yeah and I was like oh so I laid down on the

floor right and I remember thinking to myself just go to sleep just go to sleep it's okay you can just go to sleep this year this is over you're gonna be fine come on come on get a go to sleep I did this for what I thought was a fucking hours I mean hours I had tossed and turned and tossed and turned and I put on a sweater I took a sweater I got cold I got too hot toss and turn and toss and turn and finally I lift I stood up to go piss to go to my bathroom piss my mom who had saw me come in was still up cleaning up in the kitchen yeah yeah she was like what are you doing I was like oh I just I can't sleep she's like

what do you mean I was like I've been tossing and turning all night yeah take you been home for 15 minutes and I was like oh in my mind I was like this has been all night I thought it was hours had gone by yeah and I went and sat in the fucking bathroom I sat on the toilet just staring yeah until my body finally got tired and then I went to bed it would that sometimes they come down from mushrooms I don't I don't enjoy yeah acid's not like that but yeah acid kind of ends and then you feel a little for the next whatever it's like it's like a meth come down what's meth I don't know what those are like three three days you

can't eat or sleep you feel like just constantly and then when you come down on it it's like the worst feeling man it's like you sleep for like 24 hours oh it's terrible you just feel chemicals in your body how do you flush how do you get rid of any of that stuff I don't know I mean I would do it now by going to spa probably but you know sweat it out but I have to say about this real thing is that I don't know if it was the acid that the demon or because you know I've been possessed in that room Bobby you were not possessed yes I was you were not okay did you know about the possessions yes in my house yes but you're not you

were not possessed I don't my brother was possessed as well what do you think they almost got a shaman don't see I you know that's what I don't like about you that you were possessed dude one time my eyes flickered back why are you laughing I don't like you I don't like your tone you're being rude okay fine you got you got possessed no I'm just telling you how did you get rid of the possession I'm gonna tell you what I'm not I would tell you one I'll tell you I'll tell you okay what's so funny so it's stupid is that stupid dude so one time right let me say it what happened I was in the bed and I opened my eyes and

I go I can't move your whole body it was a Saturday I wasn't on drugs right you weren't on no nothing right I can't move and all of a sudden I felt a heat on my chest and I couldn't move and then I felt my mind I was thinking about crazy things like in like like evil shit like yeah and kill yeah yeah yeah yeah kill yourself I just felt of evil presence and hurt other people yeah really how did you get rid of the possession so I just so I was like this I was like get out of me and I I ran we had a swing pool so right by the garage you're right there's a door and it goes right and I was possessing me right and swing pool

was cold yeah right because it was during the winter time mm-hmm and I jumped in a swimming pool and I snapped out of it so every time with my clothes on so the secret for this those at home so I must I might have jumped in that pool eight times in my life with my clothes on so every time you get possessed you jump in the pool yeah so the one time I had these demons not know how to figure them out water is the catalyst my aunt who died rest in peace um was a one time um I hear commotion going on my brother used to take Bible verses it's so funny it's just whatever happens next right so he my brother was really

religious yeah I remember that right so he took he and he would take Bible my parents would have to buy him Bibles isn't one good no because he used to cut them out he was like he was like Kevin Spacey in the movie seven yeah it was like stick a mod in there right momentum right so he would like um he would cut the oh this is important sorry we'll pause for the beanie he would cut Bible verses out of the Bible and just paste them on the wall what stuff that he cared about that I don't know what they probably know he just liked the way it looked or whatever okay and he would like draw like crosses on the wall what

yeah no wonder he got possessed I don't know I mean it's because it's so anyway devilish one time I come home and my whole family's there like I have you know I have uncles and aunts I have 28 first cousins everyone the house is filled yeah and I walk into the my brother's room and my aunt had three aunts and uncle and my brother was like naked and my brother was like you know I mean in the living room no in his room in his room right you know I mean his little penis was out no his dick wasn't out this is not his dick you said naked well his dick was out yeah yeah hard that'd be weird your aunt yeah my

brother's like you know I mean twitching twitching right and I go I go is he being they knew what it was a possession he'd be possessed and he was getting exercised or X I don't know what they were doing they're probably Kim Kim Chichigae or something right some sort of ox blood soup or something right but um yeah and then we moved out of the house and it stopped when you moved it never happened again no can we know the address I can do the road I want to know the address I want to look it up so bad what take I want to look at what I want him to look it up on brother knows the address do it's a ranch

hollow road Google highway California ranch hollow road go to Google Maps Pete and do because I want to see the view I want to see the home negative I want to call my brother okay yeah I'm on bad friends with Andrew right now baby yeah we ever possessed in the house yeah yeah okay good wait hold on hold on Stevie what what do you really think that you were like that you had something take you take over your body yeah there's like 20 um demonic like Indian spirit whatever spirits on me holding me down how did you were you Nate you were naked Bobby said you were

like but I had Bible verses on my walls and shit and who told you to put the Bible verses up on your wall whispering holding me down like what were they saying nothing good nothing good nothing good yeah how did you get rid of it how did you get rid of it how did you get rid of it I had a yellow Jesus and I jumped I jumped in the pool right what was the address what was the address one five nine four five one five nine four four ranch hollow road one five nine four four ranch hollow road we are looking at up one five nine four four ranch hollow road it's real yeah there it is let's go

to satellite let's go okay all right thanks Steve love you brother all right so look at that that's how that's it right there that's it it looks creepy full screen it baby I don't like this yeah yeah look at that oh and look at that blue truck that ominous Native American zoom in on the house clicking on the house so you can see can you click click yeah how about this you know what do this copy and paste that address and go to Zillow that's the best thing you can do because then we can look at the inside of the home copy and paste that address yeah go to Zillow.com and then we'll be

able to see the inside of them and we'll be able to see how much the house is worth now yeah yeah we'll see how fancy you really are that's what it's I used to okay I'll cut those show the house again hold on one second let him put this in there's a funny story I just saw a little area perfect yeah there it is poway click-clack four bed three bath 3700 square feet 1.5 million is what it's worth now oh wow oh you could rent it for five grand can you click there's no other photos a sometimes they have other photos that you can scroll through nothing huh why is it why are they running it out no they're just saying

you could rent it out if you wanted to rent it out yeah somebody lives there right now but that that's the satellite view right there you can see so if you look at the house yeah let's go back to go back to the house go back to that okay so right so zoom into the house to the left side you can't really okay so anyway right in between that house and that's house so that side of the that side of the house was my room right and see that house to the left yeah and see those trees over there yeah one night I don't know who lived there but there was a kid wearing a cowboy outfit yeah okay okay and he was going making noises okay

I don't know what the noises were okay he's going right right and I remember just opening and then I go I was kid I would yell right I went out he had a fucking toy gun right and I walk up to him but I need him in the between the houses I go right and he goes shut the fuck up man and he fucking take the butt of the gun it hits me in the tummy shut up yeah how old was he oh you must have been 13 and you're 13 man I was like 16 that's a little boy gun butts you yeah yeah and you're and I went back in there that my room and all night long I could just hear in the tree you think he was

possessed no but he was just like you know there's nothing I could do about it you just got beat up we never had anything creepy in my house except my sister sleepwalks and she would fall down the stairs sometimes cute your sister enough she used to fall she used to trip down the stairs so they had to put up a rope by the stairs so my sister wouldn't fall face first down the fucking stairs she would just sleepwalk all the time and then they had a which I didn't I didn't know you're not supposed to wake someone up from a sleepwalk do you know that no if you wake someone up from the middle of a sleepwalk they die they

can have like they can they think they're going to die they they're having like panic look that up why you don't wake people up from a sleepwalk because apparently like you're supposed to let them wake up on their own because they're really conscious like they're actually like aware and they kind of are half awake but you're not supposed to do it because apparently it's really dangerous they can have a heart attack and die oh it's not dangerous experts who discourage a quote it's un unsuccessful and leads to patient disorientation ease them back to bed without making forceful attempts right

I've heard that they just get they freak out they panic they might think their life is in danger oh wow you're supposed to let them walk it out on their own do this by the way sleepwalk just do sleepwalk tick-tock girl have you seen this fucking girl it can't be real it no no no it's hilarious her boy her boyfriend her husband videotapes are tick-tocking whenever I think to myself that they're acting that's her Selena spooky for the for the video no chance I mean some of these are unbelievable you could just tell she's actually sleepwalking so we have security camera no no you'll see look

there's her going outside you tell she walks the same when she does it no oh she's throwing beers into the snow outside see this how you know she's not it's just a human walking by yeah and they mumble they don't make any sense would you break up with a girl they did that 100% the relationship and her it's an ender and game for sleepwalking and then I have to do it cleaning up your shit once she went outside I would lock the door you're gone maybe they were teacher yeah you wake up in the snow all cold free dead first of all you die 100% oh then no no you'd say you'd say yeah

yeah you would save her if you if you were with someone drills if you were with a boyfriend and he was he ended up being a sleepwalker would you break up with him if it's like extreme then yeah but if it's just like going around the house it would depend on it be hard for him to sleepwalk because you'd never get to fucking sleep with you because every hour on the hour the phone is gonna say it but it would depend how hard she was if you look like that that's and that's a breakup break up that's a break up she eats all the pizza right she snores this silly I mean and she sleepwalks right no I but if she looked like you

know what's that the Kardashian girl the Jenner what's her name Kylie Bruce what not Bruce what Kendall or Kylie yeah either one you know Kendall is the tall model yeah the tall yeah Kendall right yeah I just be like I could maybe a couple more years yeah you just got to deal with right but if she looked like you know that girl yeah Kendall is that mean to say no that's honest honest you're on you're very honest yeah if nothing else it's very honest it look also maybe she doesn't like you yeah you know I said something scary on YouTube yesterday where I was looking up the most loneliest people in the world who is

the most loneliest person in the world so there's this woman that this is in the 1800s okay and she she told her mom that she was to marry this lawyer or whatever she lives in a Victorian town or whatever she goes you're not my lawyer so she she kept the fucking girl locked in her attic the mom did yeah for like 35 years oh my god looked at up and look at what she looks like at the end when they found out the authorities founder loneliest woman in the world locked in the attic is this a documentary about this no it was like you know how they have the seven most loneliest people in the world no you said it like the normal

category but see the girl on the left that's what she looked like before oh on the far left yes wow so she's like I'm marrying a lawyer no you're not and then boom and then boom yeah then boom that's so is that crazy and then look oh look at the picture where the mother kept her on the fourth photo look at the fourth one they show where she kept her up in that court and that's the mom huh yeah piece of shit for like 35 40 years didn't feed her how did she live well every every month she would go in you still want to marry the lawyer and she's like yeah and she kept her in there and she kept saying yeah and then the

lawyer dies from old age yeah yeah yeah and then she's still up there that's a women believe in love so much they're well like a guy if you're like you still want to marry the girl you're like no get out of here I don't give a fuck why do you think would you believe in love that deeply do you believe there's one person for you that's a loaded question of course it is because I once heard that like every human being there's like 33 million people that are compatible well there's seven billion on earth right be hard to be just one you know it's like I was playing the Witcher big video game Witcher 3 yeah Witcher 3 at the video

game there was this one moment I forgot what mission it was but there was a tree right and the tree was haunted because she said that her lover you know I mean was gonna return me to her right he never did so she just died lonely and she her spirit was in this tree she became a tree yeah and it's like I didn't do that mission because I thought was bullshit yeah yeah that's ridiculous I thought an insane idea insane idea yeah but like you know women believe in like that kind of everlasting forever yeah one person like they believe that there's only one yeah you're the one whereas if I was an emperor I'd be fine with like

3,000 concubine 100% do you believe in love Jules for family yeah but not for not for not for the opposite sex right like you think like do you think you're you do you think there's a person out there for you at all that's the face that's it but I want to date someone you want all right kid she's 19 she's going to college I know well you had you know look you could capitalize from this show and date another 19 year old that's probably a fan from the show yeah she thinks that like when she goes to college no one's gonna recognize her yeah they are yes they are yes they are yeah what if she

becomes like an asshole and is like super like like you don't I mean she was a bad friends guy right a big fan he's cute in college and he goes oh my god are you Jules from bad friends what would you say yeah yeah that's an asshole yeah yeah yeah all right relax fucking star cuz I don't interact with him you be the guy hey oh my god are you Rudy from bad friends yeah whoa I'm Micah I'm Dave that's my buddy Dave we're new here are you are you new here at Cal University of California State Long Beach State yes you can call me Jules oh cool oh yeah cuz yeah cuz Rudy was because of right yeah so yeah yeah we're

big fans of the show huge fans hey you can we get your number you want to hang out maybe I can give it to you tomorrow I left my phone and I don't remember my number you don't remember your cell phone number number weird weird that sounds like that wow how long have you had a cell phone I'm just two years so two years I have to go my mom's here your mom's here you're in college yeah I live with my mom oh really yeah cuz on the show we pay attention to the show you lived with Tito Bobby down in Los Angeles right no he's lying I gave you um what so what's let me ask something what's Bobby Lee like he's dirty okay but he's

funny I like cool yeah he's funny yeah sometimes he's annoying what what's annoying about him just him trying to put boogers on my face all right okay what about what about the red-headed guy oh he's fine I like him you he's nice yeah what about the um the Mexican guy who does the sound he's really sweet yeah we don't we're curious about him he seems a little weird yeah he's just fancy he's just fancy has he ever said anything to you that you're like ew you're weird no really he's kind what about that new guy Pete that they've got over there what's his deal I haven't really talked to him he doesn't seem like someone you'd talk

to yeah yeah he's like a android yeah he comes in like a gigantic under both my past I like that you just get to blow us off I have to go well wherever you choose I'm excited to see where you end up going to school and that's the thing we need to make an email let's make one right now Drace write this down fancy that it's got to be I want to be Rudy at gmail.com I want to be Rudy at gmail.com email there if you want to submit and Rudy gets to judge who's gonna take over in the interim period if that even happens we don't even know you got to live in Los Angeles County got your own car be able to get here yeah and it's

it's a long shot it's very long but it could be fun and also I don't think it should be someone who's like trying to be a comedian or I just want someone no we don't want anyone in show business we want basically and this is why it's a difficult find because what makes Jules here special is number one she doesn't really want to be here she hates this yeah yes number two she doesn't know exactly what it is we're doing same right yeah she doesn't know what the world is yeah number three obviously doesn't care number four you have to be there's got to be and when I say innocent you get what I'm saying you know

it's like someone's who's almost ignorant not ignorant that's also true yeah yeah she's a little ignorant she thought a car in a house for $50,000 a part yeah I her innocence is the best word and also do we want only girl submissions some guys would be some guys to well she would you be really harsh on them though we'd be mean the whole time so that's why if it's a girl at least it balances out with female yeah there's some rules that we can't cross some lines with the women well with a woman here gives us nice female energy with another guy it becomes a guy it's you know right you're gonna pick you are you into

that yeah are you afraid of losing your spot no do you care a little like honestly if you we you went to UC Davis and we're gonna find a new person that person comes in it fits perfectly you won't be jealous no that hurts will you miss doing the show at all I'll miss it yeah but you won't really care that much that's good because she thinks that she's gonna go off right and all these great things are and then but great things are gonna happen for her right yeah but at the end of the day right this is the gift this is the gift right she doesn't realize though how cool this is this is the gift yeah yeah yeah no you

don't think that though it's like people that are living for the afterlife you know people that say like I want to be good so then I can get into heaven but you're like but you but now is the eggs yeah it's one of those this is heaven yeah the journey right is the destination is the is the destination and the destination right is is the end and these mo I'll be honest with you so will sasso has do you see a post I'm gonna show you a post and this made me want to cry will from sasso he was on this Instagram but it may be literally want to cry because I'm gonna show you it I put it on my story as well but let me see

here hold on I gotta show you this thing it's kind of cool oh no I wouldn't say so post right so check this out so when I so it's all my he's direct messages to me okay okay so basically it was um when I was my first year on mad TV you know will sasso said let me give it to you in a second will says it goes hey kid you know I'm going to this WDWF event do you want to go and I go yeah I was so excited like you know senior cast member wants to hang out with me yeah so will used to take him around everywhere right and he shows me this thing that they televised and I was so young and I was so like green yeah but I remember

being so excited and when I see this it makes me want to cry because it's just like this young Asian kid you're mean who's like the whole world's in front of them and I and as an older person now I'm almost 49 now I look back I go I should have just savored those moments yeah because this kid is thinking about the future yeah this kid's going I'm gonna be a star yeah you mean you know I'm gonna get movies and this and this I'm gonna buy the mansion all that stuff and none of those things that I thought we're gonna have what happened but they happen in their own way they happen in their own way you know I mean and I had

my own journey but it's like you know it makes me realize that I didn't really appreciate all the little steps it's hard it's hard but now I feel like I want to have to soak in those those moments and I never did yeah you did I'm sure you did sometimes no I remember one time I was on Matt TV and Ryan Gosling not Ryan Gosling it was Ryan Reynolds mm-hmm he do he's Deadpool right yeah Ryan Reynolds was sitting there with Dick Plessucci the executive producer and I just sat next to them and we just talked I didn't know who he was yeah and I was being in my own thing you know I mean you know if I would have done if I would

have lived in the moment more and just because you know and just kind of talk to the guy there I mean but that's so hard to do you never know you know I remember one time green day played mm-hmm and I just was kind of just aloof to it all and I'm like literally sitting there were you using at the time no I was just like in my own ego and in my own head that sucks right and it's like everything you know me I was just oblivious to you know I mean the gifts that were all around me but it's well but now you appreciate it so at least you respect you know some of it like trying to do it now I'm trying to take this in

you know right here doesn't seem like anything I really am trying to take this in this is not forever right and this is something special I think that we created you and I together yeah you know me and it's like I just want to be able to save for those moments a little bit better savor it so well before you go to college right now these moments right now I know you're playing with your hair doesn't care this is you know this is it this is it right in your head like I'm gonna be the boy this you're gonna meet all those things but he's gonna cheat on you you know me and he's gonna lie to you he's gonna hit

someone with your car and I'll tell you he's gonna steal from you money he's gonna date your best friend yeah yeah and then and then and you're gonna be kind of crawling back here in your hands and knees you know me we've got some Simone or whoever's you're killing it killing it killing it she's getting just unbelievable she's like laugh at their laugh right murdering yeah and I also want to say that I have a prediction that if we keep doing this and after you graduate from college hopefully we'll do this for what another 10 years I would like to do it as long as we can we can how long do you think it's

gonna last six or seven months I know but do you think I mean let we've never really thought about we've been doing a year we've done it over a year now in my heart I would like to do this about five years would be cool five more years yeah what happens between us in well I mean we are a hatred or is there a no I think I don't want it to end badly well what I think is gonna happen yeah we're gonna parlay this into something else like I think bad friends will do a tour when everything is back to normal I think you know we're doing the animated show that that hopefully we'll get out to people so like I think we'll parlay

this into other things and then we'll be at other points in our life and career let's make a promise to with each other though there's no bad feelings never okay there never will be yeah because we're better than Theo and Brendan we're better than Bert and Tom we're better than those guys and I know you say you like them more than us which is a little repulsive to me but I'm gonna let you take the hit because it's like this you live with us you're like family and they're outsiders coming in so it's cool because it's different but if you lived with them you wouldn't like it okay okay anyway Tito Bobby's right this is it

and thank you for being a bad friend come on come on I can lie say I like it like that like I like that