Bad Friends - Slept King Returns and Rudy’s New Replacement

Episode Date: February 21, 2022

New Merch: http://badfriendsmerch.com Thank you to our Sponsors:  https://www.liquid-iv.com code: BADFRIENDS & https://www.meundies.com/badfriends & https://www.doordash.com code: BADFRIENDS2022 & https://www.roman.com/badfriends YouTube Subscribe: http://bit.ly/BadFriends More Khalyla   TigerBelly: https://www.youtube.com/tigerbelly Trash Tuesdays: https://www.youtube.com/c/TrashTuesday Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/khalamityk Twitter: https://twitter.com/khalamityk 0:00 Bobby is Back  3:09 Bobby's Rehab Voicemail to Khalyla  8:50 96 Hours without Sleep  16:27 Glass Bottomed Boat  19:44 The Tinder Swindler  24:48 Amorcito888   34:22 Bobby Is Been Shy Lately   39:35 Bobby and Andrew's Fondest Memories of their Parents   46:19 Little Brandon and Adult Susan  50:21 Victoria Secret's Latest Model   52:48 Nathen Chen, Eileen Gu and the Winter Olympics  59:32 Fancy's Students and The Other Santino  1:03:41 What if...? More Bobby Lee TigerBelly: https://www.youtube.com/tigerbelly Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bobbyleelive Twitter: https://twitter.com/bobbyleelive Tickets: https://bobbyleelive.com More Andrew Santino Whiskey Ginger: https://www.youtube.com/andrewsantinowhiskeyginger Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino Twitter: https://Twitter.com/cheetosantino Tickets: http://www.andrewsantino.com More Bad Friends iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-friends/id1496265971 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/badfriendspod Twitter: https://twitter.com/badfriends_pod Official Website: http://badfriendspod.com Opening Credits and Branding: https://www.instagram.com/joseph_faria & https://www.instagram.com/jenna_sunday Credit Sequence Music: http://bit.ly/RocomMusic // https://www.instagram.com/rocom Character Design: https://www.instagram.com/jeffreymyles Bad Friends Mosaic Sign: https://www.instagram.com/tedmunzmosaicart Produced by: George Kimmel & Bryce Hallock - 7EQUIS Podcast Producers: Andres Rosende & Pete Forthun This podcast episode was sponsored by Candy Crush Sponsorships: on for this episode Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots? White people and Asian people. You two are disgusting. You two are something. We're bad friends. Anchor. If you haven't heard about anchor.

It's the easiest way to make a podcast. It's the easiest way to make a podcast. Let me explain. Oh please. It's free. Awesome, that's cool. There are creation tools that allow you to record and edit your podcast right from your phone or your computer. You can do it from your phone like on the go. Oh my god.

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You can go to the free Anchor app or go to anchor.fm to get started. Didn't you drive together in the same part? We did. We like to arrive separately. Yeah, that was, I liked it. What is it like Angelina Jolie and Weekend? Oh no. I was going to say,

What's his name? Why can't I think of his name? Bobby Monahan. No, Angelina Jolie and Billy Bob Thornton. Billy Bob. They dated, but not secretly. That's what you guys are. That's Billy Bob Thornton and your Angelina Jolie.

What would be the difference? Yeah, but my dick is not as crusty. I feel like his dick is crusty. No, he's a babe. Now? I think he's always been a babe. Ask Canadians. Billy Bob Thornton.

What he did in Canada? What did he do? Like an asshole? No, because what happened was, he's in a band, right? That I know. We talk about it on the show. We talk about it on the show. Shut the fuck up, man. I just got out of rehab.

I'm sorry, you know what? And by the way, congratulations on getting out of rehab. You guys, we have something for you, Bob. We've got a trophy. Bobby Lee, kick in the habit. 2022, a little karate trophy for kicking the habit.

Congratulations, Bob. So this right here is weed. That's drugs. Smoke weed, smoke weed. And then I got rid of porn, too. Fuck me, fuck me. Fuck me, yeah. Old and young.

Mostly old. More old than young. Older is for youngers. And the reason why I like that porn, by the way, is because I identify with the old men because I have such a bad self-port image. Self-port image. So when I would Google porn, I don't do porn anymore, baby, all right, baby?

Inamacy. You are an old man, too, though. You identify because you're an old guy. I am. You are. You're an old, sweet man. I just realized that, huh? Yeah, you're old. But when I went to rehab, though, why did all the kids follow me around? Because you act like a child.

Right. But brawl. I was a leader there, dude. Well... George Orr, because I have a voicemail. Do you guys want to hear it? Yes, yes. Is this a voicemail of a leader? Let's hear. Also, by the way, let's... Can we welcome the wonderful Kalyla to the show?

Thanks, guys. Thank you, Kalyla. I'm here begrudgingly because the little one has COVID. I know. You guys brought it. So thank you for bringing it. Welcome. We don't have COVID. She got tested. She doesn't have it. I know she did. I know you didn't. I'll never get it. I know. Do you know why? Why?

When I was in Arizona, right, I was at the mall, right? I'm double masked, right? Yeah. And I almost got COVID. Do you know why? No, tell me. Because a lot of people recognize me. Oh, kid. Let's play this voicemail to bring you back down to Earth.

Yeah. Is this the... Is this the message of the leader over here? Let's hear. Great. So, obviously, I had dinner. The food here is terrible. Terrible. Oh, my God. Um...

It's like, aw, there's sites breaking out. It's like, people stalking me. It's terrible. You don't know. I don't know if I'm gonna be able to sleep tonight. I'm quiet because there's, like, 52 men talking on phones around me. Um, I feel like I'm in prison.

I'm in Guantanamo Bay. I love you. I might try to sleep tonight, but what's gonna happen? Bye. Bro, you have no idea what I went through. Did you hang... That sounded like you... He hung up a prison phone. It's a payphone.

That was a payphone? This is the first... You called me from this place. The first place? Yeah. I get there, right? You sleep there. I put my pajamas on. What are you talking about? I get in my underwear.

There's a man laying next to me. I could touch his skin. And he's probably 70 years old. Right? And he's naked, I think, but I see one of his legs is sticking out of the sheets. Okay. And you know how you white people have a lot of varicose?

I don't have any spiderweb veins. I looked at your skin. I can see a lot of veins in your body, right? And he was doing this. Bro, this is what he was doing. He was going like this. He was going... Yeah! As long... Every minute he was doing that.

He was doing that, right? And I took two edibles. Why? You fucking idiots. Because I don't want to be the first guy to show up at treatment. Sober. The irony of that is staggering.

Isn't it funny that everybody gets fucked up and then they go to treatment? They get as high as they can. Oh, I was at the airport. I was going crazy. Right? Nothing. I was drinking off two guys. I was drinking. So I go there and...

I take all my shit and I go to the lobby. And I sleep in a chair like this. Because this guy is screaming all night long. But I can still hear him. And then this little girl comes up to me. She must have been 14. 15 years old. And she goes...

I'm not going to make it. No. She just walks away. And I'm literally... I have to be here for a month. I'm not... I shouldn't laugh, but that is so fucking creepy. Two days later, right? I literally see... I'm sleeping. I see a little kid...

a teenage kid getting dragged by his hair across the hall. And he's going... I'm going to stab you in the eyes with an ice pack! Right? This is rehab. It's a good one. It's not good. It feels like this.

And to get out of there... What do we have to do? You had to call the Jews? All of them? So many. I called Jerusalem. I got all the lawyers and they got me out of there. How was it? Was it legally binding?

They were going to make you stay? They can't make you stay anywhere. But they wouldn't let me leave. And then they also wouldn't let me ride. But we have to have some clarity. You went to a different rehab. It's not like you broke out of a rehab and came... You went to another rehab. He went to initially a 30-day inpatient. Oh, right.

Where it's like they fucking chain you in. Yeah. And you're not allowed to make phone calls. They take your phone. And your iPad. So what are you doing in the middle of the night? I'm trying to masturbate through my memory. You can't jerk off with your mind.

No, but... My mind is very clever. And I have an imagination. You do? Yeah, so it's kind of like her tit. One tit. I love your ass shakes. They're so European and soft.

They're married. Pete's titties. His titties are so sweaty and nice. So there's three tits. Both tits. Pete's tits on the side. So sweaty and nice. And beer comes out.

Beer comes out of his tits. But I'm sober, so I avoid it. So it's great beer, right? So you're only sucking... I'm sober, I'm sober, right? And then... But I couldn't not. Couldn't finish.

No, in fact, I have... 17 days of no porn. APPLAUSE Can you masturbate just to your mind? I can. It just takes a long time. Do you have to use a toy? No, I don't use any toys. You guys don't have any toys?

I don't use any toys because I'm afraid to... that I'll have to rely on it for the rest of my life. Because those clitsuckers these days are next level. You know we got one at the crib. It does. And it goes...

It sucks in. But you can do that with your mouth. I can't roll my tongue, so I have to go... I just get so tired that this thing picks up the slack. But yesterday I go, can I eat your vagina? And then you said, it's bloody. And I go, I said, I want to.

She wouldn't let me. Do you do it? No, definitely not. It seems like a bad day. You could just take a break for a couple of days. Right, it's like when you get out of prison. Yeah, I had a fork and the whole thing. You know what I mean? I was ready.

Anyway, it's good to be back. It's great that you're back. We're happy that you're back. And then I went to another place and I couldn't sleep for how many days? Well, you called me. I was in New York. I think you're on three or four days? 96 hours I didn't sleep. What? So crazy.

So crazy. And... You talked like a guy who hadn't slept. Yeah, and they thought I was going to have a psychotic break. And then I went to a mall. And then they said... When you're going to have a psychotic break everybody at home, go to a mall. No, I had to go to Build-A-Bear.

Right, that's the place. No, I had to go to Build-A-Bear. Why? It's a part of the thing. When you go to this place, they go, you have to go to Build-A-Bear. At least sometime in your break. Is this rehab owned by Build-A-Bear?

No, it's... McDonald's. But you go to Build-A-Bear and you build your original child. Oh, I see. So your original child when you're born... Don't laugh. This is real.

I know, but what do babies need? They need to be held. Love, nurtured. Comfort, food. My dad played golf on my body. You know what I mean? So you build... You build this bear, right?

And remember the first one I built a couple years ago? And you hold it like it's your inner child? You know what I mean? And... But because I had a psychotic break, I literally had the baby in the mall and I didn't know where I was. Not only did I not know where I was,

but I didn't know what city I was in. I didn't know if I was in the mall. That's how fucking tired I was. You were a guy walking around... Just with a fucking bear. It was fucking crazy. It's called a fugue state. So...

Do you know that's what it was? The fugue state? And the one last thing I want to say before you go into the internet is this. I would like to have the reneg. The reneg, right? Last week I was very vulnerable. Yeah.

And I called you. I think I cried. You did. And I think I regret half of the things I said. Really? It was like the nicest call you've ever made. What did I say? I forgot. I was at a farm in Upstate New York

and you said, I just want to tell you that I love you. I'm doing it, but I'm not making fun of you. I'm doing... And no one's ever done what you did and you're a real friend and I love you. I'm dead serious.

And you would go back into a normal voice and then you'd go, I don't understand. I love you. And then you hung up and you called back 20 minutes later and you said, I don't know, man. I don't know how much of that stuff I need.

So you did take it back. And then I said, why would you do that? Okay, I gotta go, I gotta go. Okay, you know what? So you meant some of it. No, you know what? You're right. I want to say it here. I'm going to say it here.

Don't roll your eyes. Well, I know what's coming. No, you do? Yeah, but go ahead. No, but I want to hear it. I'm sorry. Go ahead. You know, I've been in this business for... Ever. Okay, start over.

You know, in the beginning of my career, I just met just terrible people. You know what I mean? Just open micers, like Zoo Man and Wally Wong and these guys. You know what I mean? Wally Wong? Wally Wong. So anyway, and then I came to L.A.

It was fucking terrible. And I spent many, many years just meeting terrible people, comics. But every once in a while, you'll meet somebody that you'll just spark your heart. And you're one of those guys. When I saw you, it was like...

It was almost as if I saw somebody that I knew my whole life. Like, it was that easy, that comfortable. And during my dark times in my life, you've been there 100%. You call me three in the morning.

You always call me back, right? You're always checking up on me. And I honestly... You know, I re-found my God. Like, I lost God. But you found God again? I found God again. And I prayed to God last week and I said

thank you for putting Brian Cal... I mean, Andrew Centino. I was waiting. I was saying thank you for putting Andrew Centino in my life. And, um... Yeah, I'm just really blessed.

I love you. Thank you. Say something now. Feels good. I love it. I'm happy that you are... I'm happy that you are... found God and redefining what you want in life. Because you were a little lost.

And I think you're more centered now. And talking on the phone seemed like you were really figuring out what you needed. And I love you and you know you're in the world to me. Mm-hmm. Feels good. But I've said that to you all the whole time. Yeah.

Do you love me though? I love you very, very much. And I was very concerned. When... Sharon and I talked about you coming to Mexico. And I talked with these guys. Next time I get on a rehab, don't bring an audience.

No, no. These people are all in rehab as well. Oh, is that what it is? Oh, they need help. Yeah, they all need help. This inspiration. I can teach them. But when she told me you were on your way to Mexico and you were in trouble, I didn't know what we were in for.

And Fancy B was real nervous. So when I was in Mexico, what was I like? Well, you threw up all over the hotel. That's right, that's right. And then we said at dinner Fancy was like, no one's going to have a drink because we didn't want to have a drink around you. And who's the first person that ordered a drink?

Bobby. Bobby, yeah, Bobby. Macarita. No, not funny. The longest two hours of my life. He was quivering the whole time. He was like so nervous and scared. No, I was so manipulative. I mean, the things I was saying to George

was so crazy. It was fucked up. It was fucked up. How'd you get him to the airport? What's that? How'd you get him to the airport? Because I knew that he woke up in his own vomit. Yes, we... I got to tell you something. Shout out to the fucking JFL people for actually getting you

into a car because you were not functioning. You were so out of it and it was just so fucked up and they did a good job controlling you. You came to the door with poop on your hand in front of me. Do you know that? I'm so sorry.

That's okay. It was a little shocking. You don't knock on my door when I'm pooping. How would I know? That's true. You're not connected. You're going to send me a text every time you poop? I'm just saying, try to like... How about this? Try to know when you poop? No, don't knock on my door then.

Why don't you text me first? Are you pooping? Oh, that's the first text I should send you. Right. And I go, yeah. Wait five minutes. But even if I'm pooping, I shouldn't have wiped my ass and then brought it to the door. What do you think? Do you think he should wipe his ass and bring it to the door?

I'm looking for a third party opinion because I guess mine is wrong. I think like sober or not sober, he's going to bring poop to the door. No, no, no. He really isn't to poop. Do you want to say something right now? I'm surprised you don't let me shit on your chest.

Do you never want her to do something like that? Shit on my chest? He constantly wants to smell my shit. I like the smell of shit. Wait, tell me about what you smell. What though? In the toilet? No, no, no. I like the smell of like wet ass. We're back, baby.

No, the hole, like when the hole is wet? Right. Not poo, right? It's like... Like out of the pool, out of the shower? Yeah, out of the shower. Yeah, it's like a little bit of a magazine. And sometimes they have like a cologne or perfume that you just kind of, right?

Yeah. That magnitude of poo. It's not a big pile of poo. It's just a little... It's a waft. Yeah, it's like, you know, poo by Revlon. Revlon. Is Revlon a company? Yeah. Right? And I go, hmm, interesting.

Elephant poo, I mean, I do this. It's a light. Yeah, it's not a gigantic... This would be good when it dries. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I understand. Yeah, so, um... Let's try.

You want to try this shit on my chest? Yeah, I do. What's the one where there's a piece of glass between you? I like that. Is that a hot Carl? What is that? No, I thought the hot Carl was just bare chest shit on bare chest.

Okay, that's hot Carl. There is one. There's a piece of glass in between you. Pete, you got to know what this is. That's just like a version of a dental dam. Glass bottom boat. Oh, wow. It's called a glass bottom boat.

Because you can see all the coral. Right, that's exactly right. See, it says typically a coffee table, which is true. I've heard that you guys have a glass coffee table at the house? Yeah, we do, I think. I have one in the garage. I can actually lend it to you guys. Also, we have a little money.

We can buy one. Well, let's buy you a glass bottom boat. So what happens? I'm underneath a table like this. You lay in the... It's glass? Well, here's the deal. Yeah.

You're supposed to, like, hug it to the glass as flush with your chest. Uh-huh. Because you need to feel the heat that radiates through the glass. That's the whole point. Because if you're just underneath it, who cares? You need to physically... You want the heat of the pool.

You want to feel it without the dirtiness. So this is, like, entry level. Glass bottom boat is, like, stage one of what she wants to end up doing. Uh-huh. So let's say you love it, then you go, well, now let's switch it to, like, plexiglass. I mean, you start to slowly get away from...

And then onto saran wrap, eventually, right? Saran wrap, right? Right. And then after saran wrap... The real thing. The real deal. So you build to pool. Right, you don't need to go there right away.

I understand your hesitancy. Like, I was watching the Bill Cosby documentary. What a comic. Just hear me out. It has nothing to do with, you know what I mean? That should have been the name of his documentary. Hear me out. Bill Cosby, I can explain.

Can you? So what? So, um, but in the beginning of the... When he started his career, he was just a bartender, right? Right. And then a year later, he was on TV. So unbelievable. How fast? So fast.

Right, so I'm going to go straight to pool. Oh, you want the Bill Cosby experience? Yeah, yeah. I don't need to go to open mic. Right. That's what it is. Saran wrap, the glass, that's open mic. You're selling out of range.

I'm going to go pro. I'm going to go Madison Square Garden. I'm going to go Dane Cook. You shit in my face. Yeah. Yeah, shit in my mouth. I'll do it. No, you don't want in your mouth, buddy.

Why? Because no way. The Germans do it. Oh, yeah. Scheisse, Scheisse. Did you ever like two girls, one cop? You know, let's revisit it.

The world is great, by the way. I watched the Tinder swindler, and I got to tell you... Full support of this guy. What is his name? Simon Levi. Love this guy. Did you watch it? I texted my brother and I go,

I think I have a new AA sponsor. I'm going to call him in Israel and go, can you sponsor me? This guy is the king. This guy is the king. You loved it, didn't you? I loved it. I also was just...

He was fascinated. Immediately as soon as I saw the type of women he was after, I'm like, I see you, bro. I see you, dog. Look, let me tell you something. Did he scam a lot of people? Yeah, $10 million.

Yeah. Is it... Is it... super funny? It's so funny. And also, is it clever? Very. And well thought out.

Very. That's all I'm saying. I think he's a bad guy. Bad guy. But he's very good at, like, planning. At being a bad guy. A bad guy, yeah.

Yeah, we like bad guys. And I'm not blaming the victims. Never blame the victims, Andreas, right? But... If Kolyla was in... Germany. Yeah. And she calls me, she goes,

oh, my bodyguard got beat up and my credit card's not working. You know what I mean? Can you wire me... I've dated her for 10 years. You know what I mean? 300... I'd be like, good luck.

Bye. Bye. 50 grand. Yeah, you can get that money, babe, on your own, okay? I'm not doing it. Not doing it. Yeah, I'm not doing it.

So some... It's... You know, they made some bad choices the victims. No, no, no. You're right. They're victims and they were manipulated, right?

I feel bad for the women, but I also think... Do you? No. I feel bad. No, of course I feel bad. Yeah, it's so terrible. It's awful.

But, man, it was so amazing. He was able to do it. The part that I started to really go yucky yuck was when he makes threats to them and all that stuff. Then I'm like, no. Before that, it was just a good scam.

I like me a good scam, but I... But then when he was threatening to them, then you're like, no, this is gross, this is disgusting. Now you're... Now it's too much. But when you just went,

hey, can I borrow... Pete, how funny would it be to scam Pete out of 50 grand? Ruin his life. Wouldn't that be so funny? I have a family. I have two kids. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It makes it even funnier. That would be pretty funny. Yeah. Live what I need. I wonder, whenever I go to Whole Foods or a place and I see liquid IV being sold there and it's almost sold out,

I think I get it because, let me say it, water alone, I don't like. It's not enough. When you have liquid IV in it, it just makes it like Elm John. It's delicious.

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It tastes delicious. Oh, I think liquid IV, after I go on the Peloton, because I need my body to replenish. You need the replenishness. Because when you're on, when you're doing it, right, your body exerts all this energy,

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go to meundies.com slash badfriends. That's meundies.com slash badfriends. Have you been tricked out of money? Not money, but love. Oh, that hurts.

His handle on my space was Amorcito888. And he was... Why I thought was an Adonis that lived in Australia. But I think he was a short Indian man

with, like, eight kids. That's what the 888 was? Yeah. That's my number of children. That's so funny to think. I just... It's funny to get tricked out of love

because I feel like guys get tricked out of money more than love. That's why I... That's why the Tinder swindler, I was like, one for the good guys, one for the bad guys,

but also fucking... Because here's the problem with the whole thing for me. Each of these women said they fell in love with this guy. Some of them knew him for, like, a fucking week.

Right. And you fell in love with the idea that you were going to be whisked away on private jets, and I would fall in love with that guy, but you've got to have

some sort of foresight of, like, oh, this seems a little... I don't know. It's fairy-tale-ish, and if it's too good to be true, it is. He chose wisely.

He was very smart. I know. They're all Swedish girls or Danish girls. What does this really say about... Yeah, but this guy doesn't have... Let's be real for a second. He's a bad guy.

It was interesting. This guy has to live his life, right? Yeah. Without any empathy. Yeah, he's a social guy. Without any real emotional connection to other human beings. Right.

And to be able to lock eyes with somebody and go, hey, man, how are you feeling? You know what I mean? And let me help you. Right? Like, when I went to the last treatment center I was at,

this is what saved me. And this is a real story. It's not funny. Okay. Okay? This old man, right, who is a therapist from the 60s,

that he's still... It's his practice, this facilitator I met. He rarely comes in, but he decided to come in for two hours to see me, to do a session. Right?

I'm sitting there talking to the man and he starts... This is not funny, but he goes... He was talking about his great-great-grandkids. Wow. I mean, how he...

He goes to L.A., Santa Monica, and he sees his great-grandkids play soccer, and their coach is, like, very mindful and teaches them about positivity and, you know what I mean?

And he starts weeping this old man. While he's telling the story. Telling the story. And literally, he locks eyes with me and I started weeping with him, right?

And we cried for, like, three minutes together, this old man and I. Just about kids playing soccer. No, it's about me connecting with him and feeling his joy and his gratitude, right?

And it's in that moment where I found God, and I know there's going to be a joke coming, right? I'm fishing for one right now. But what I'm saying is that that dude right there can't connect with people

in that way. Yeah, he's crazy. I know, but that's so... At the end of the fucking day, this guy's going to die alone. Miserable. And rich. And very rich.

So rich. So rich. And he gets a lot of pussy. Thanks, fuck. So... I get it. But that's my point. I take this guy over the old guy's socket.

Do you understand my point, though? 100%. Right. Of course, I'm teasing the idea. So when I was watching this fucking document, I was just kind of going, he's free in Israel. He can't go anywhere else.

He can't go to Europe again. Well, did he just make a fake passport? Didn't he do that like 10 times? I know, but really? He kept doing it the whole film. Yeah, but now I think they're on to him or not. He does a fucking movie about him now! Dude, they did...

Also, he's suing Netflix, I think, is what he said. They gave him 16 months. He did like 4 or 5. He fucking... They don't give a shit. It's because he's also wise about the amount that he's swindling. It's not billions of dollars.

And it's not millions and millions of dollars. So it's sort of like, yeah, he's going to serve what? 48 months? Max. But that's a small price to pay for him. He can just resume activity after. See, I think they said in total,

he might have acquired 10 million over the course of all of his scamming. Not just from women, from other stuff. I got to hand it to you. That's pretty great. But he used... He would take advantage of one woman. They would give him 300 grand or whatever.

He would use that to finance another woman. Right. Why can't you just bamboozle one woman and invest that fucking money? Yeah, I thought about that the whole time. But that's logic. He loves the gambling. He loves the Ponzi of it all. It's like, I'm going to use you to take her out and I'm going to use her to get another hot chick to be my friend.

Remember, he did that with another girl. He just befriended hot girls with cool hot girls so that made another girl go, this guy's got to be cool. He's friends with hot cool girls. But he has to... My argument is this. I'm sorry. I realize that some marks might not work out.

I think a lot of them don't for him. Right. But let's suppose... Because he got to the point where he had to live in that fucking... Hostel. And he's begging for money. That's how desperate was he. But look, you can go on his Instagram fans.

He's back at it again. He's got a new Benz. He's got a new watch. He's got a new group of hot blonde girls. So my point is some women that have seen this, they don't care. They just still... They're like, fuck it, I still get to go to private jet with some other bitch's money. People are still doing it.

Look up his Instagram. He's out there. It's like when women like serial killers in prison. Exactly. Why do you guys like that? Why do you like that? You get the good sex without the stalking. You get the good desperate. Oh my god. A man is so just

wasted in a prison, right? There's so much just pent up down there. Just testosterone. And then you are just the peak of his existence at that point. So a conjugal visit. The idea of a conjugal visit with a man

where I know I am just the peak of his existence. He's gonna fuck me with all of his might and he won't be able to stalk me or call me or contact me. Wow. Okay. Here's a guy who's a killer. Not this guy. Let's just say there's a guy that's a case of murderer.

Stone Cold Murderer. Then he says he found God in prison. A lot of them do. And he says, I would never hurt you. Do you buy this? You buy this. I just want you to come see me. I know my record says I choked out and killed four women but I would never do this to you. Do you buy this?

Not a chance. No, but there's women that do. And they go back and they're like, he would never hurt me. You guys don't read the letters he writes me. Because women are. Say it with me. What? I didn't mean that.

No, women are beautiful. Wait, you guys would never do conjugal visit with a woman in prison? Honestly. You? No, but if you were in prison, I won't. No, it has to be. And it can't be her. Because that doesn't make sense. Of course you would with her. You fucking love her. Okay, what about this? Your mom? Move on.

I'll take back the fucking trophy. It's my fucking trophy. What does this to what does it say? What does this post say? No caption. This guy's the goat. He's just on a fucking boat. No captions on all these.

What does that say? Memories? You know who he is? Andrew Schultz. I can see Schultz doing this. Look at the top or nothing. This guy's the best, dude. What a psycho. What does top or nothing mean?

But it also doesn't make sense. Top or nothing. I love this guy. He's fascinating. What does that say? Back at home. Just rubbing it in. I don't know. Would you conjugal visit a woman that was in jail?

But you don't know her. You've never met her. You read about her in the news. This is what happens with women. They read about the guy in the news. They start writing him letters. I had fantasy about Eileen Warnold. Who? Like visiting Eileen Warnold's in prison.

I don't know who that is. They did a movie called Monster. Yeah. I had fantasies about her. Really? But my fantasy was I was in the prison cell next to hers. Look at that one tooth.

I was in the prison cell next to her. And I dug a little hole. So it was like a glory hole. I stuck my penis in. So I cut it off. With that one tooth. That's the face she makes after she bit it. Whoops.

You know what's such a mean thought that I got when you just said a glory hole thing? I wonder. Have you ever seen a glory hole live at a truck stop? Have you ever seen one? Have you ever seen one? I've seen them at the truck stops. I've actually seen a glory hole. At first you think this is some teenager.

Then you think this happens out here. Then I looked at it just in my mind's eye and sometimes the thickness of those stall doors is big. Do you think yours would... So what you're saying to me right now is if I did a glory hole

in a fucking stall, right? My dick isn't a lot long. So what you're saying is it's not going to reach enough so that she could suck it. But can she stick her tongue in the hole? Yeah, just lick it. Just lick it. Fuck you, dude.

Imagine how hard you'd push against the hole. Have you not seen him fully hard? No, I have seen him. I've seen him just after he was hard. I've post-gamed. I've said this to him before. Over all the years since when we first met at the company store

and he put his penis on my arm and all that stuff when I was in the booth, which you did penis out on my arm his jokes about his penis being small it's all good and fun but it's so regular. It's not small. It's a very normal penis. Thank you.

But you're a grower, not a shower. That's a fact. Because there's days for sure when it needs to grow. Because it does that thing in Mexico when your penis was out it did that thing where it tucks away you know how it like turtle bays itself He's shy! It tucks away and it puts the balls up to its cheek

to keep it warm. It does tuck away. When you see him around the house, what is the time when it's at its smallest? I stopped talking about Is it first thing in the morning? No, this is fun. He's been shy about showing me his penis lately. Bob, I haven't seen it in a while.

You don't walk around naked? Honestly, it just got out of rehab, man. Yeah, I need some time. No, it's just like all Jonesed out, you know what I mean? He's drooling. He's detoxing, bro. You know what I mean? On this episode of DetoxDick Do you walk around naked?

Did you see the Ricky Gervais special where he talks about two guys went to a glory hall and one guy stuck his penis out and came in a random man's mouth When they walked out together it was a father and a son

Okay So if you did a glory hall and you get your dick sucked and you walked out and it was your dad What would you do? Would you hug him dad? Would I hug him? Is that your first?

Dad! Yeah I don't know, it's your dad! I wouldn't say a word, I would just do it Let's both walk out I want to see what you would do I'm walking out, right? Wait, am I the sucky or sucker?

You sucked it and you're the damn son So I'm zipping up That was the best fucking blowjob I've ever gotten That was amazing He fucking did sack work He did sack work Walk out

Dad! I would say dad What if you gave me a kiss? A tongue kiss? That would be so gross That would ruin the family What about this though? What if you saw, you know

What if you're at a butt plug convention And they're like Try out some of the newest butt plugs The newest anal beads And they're like Dude, you gotta see this guy He's got 40 fucking beads in his ass

And they get bigger as they go And if you said that to me We gotta go! They're pulling out now, it's like a fucking chainsaw And there's a dude pulling out There's such a big crowd We have to get in position Excuse me, excuse me

And everybody screaming More, more, more, more You can't believe it And then this guy gets up and it's your father Dad! Killing it! I would be like You know what I would do?

So I'd be in the front of the crowd I would slowly just Move backwards And the Homer Simpson would absorb me back And I'd probably walk That would be the loneliest Walking to your car Did you see the anal bead guy?

I would kick something Like a tin can One loose anal bead that fell off a rope You just kick it down What if you saw your family at a sex convention type of thing? I think I'd feel Pride My family are freaks

They're just a bunch of freaks Freak freaks As a kid Your family was never shy about any of that stuff My aunties Would just openly talk about sex Pinch each other's nipples Talk about the Mendy Swindles

What did you just say? The Mendy Swindles Wait, have you ever seen a family member Hooking up in front of you? Is that not traumatic? So I saw a family member Cheating on my uncle And just openly

For weeks at a time You watched them hook up Yeah, I would hear them fucking And when my uncle came back from Hong Kong And I was like, Uncle Freddy Do you know that so and so is fucking Jerry And it backfired He cussed me out

What? What the fuck? So I thought I was being a hero He just didn't want to hear it He was like, get the fuck away from that bullshit Because I think that it hurt his pride That a little kid was telling him what his wife was doing Oh yeah, a little kid

A little kid saying that's tough Calling it out is tough Because then he knows it's real Because kids don't fucking lie He's like he was loving it He was smashing her to pieces It's like kids just They go all the details

They can't not tell you the truth I almost witnessed my parents fuck So I would sneak out of my room I just got the I just like shook Wait, but don't you guys like the idea Yeah, but I like the idea Of my parents being like

Dumb and full of cum Fuck machines What, you don't? My parents look like mythological creatures Yoda And fucking golem fucking So I would sneak out of my room And watch like late and I would

Hope to watch the Tonight Show or Letterman To see if there were stand-ups on In high school So one night it was going to be 16 Maybe and I was watching And then I could hear my parents walk down the hallway Right, so I turned the TV off And I jumped behind the couch

Then my parents put in a Korean video Like a VHS tape Of some weird Like Korean porn It was all fuzzy and stuff And they were like You know what I mean? Like

I have to say something You know what I mean? And so I go, I'm sorry I was watching stand-up and my dad got So fucking mad, man Does he have a boner? No, he beat me With a boner? Yes Imagine your dad hard as fuck

Just beating the shit out of you I couldn't do it Your parents fucking? Yeah, they fucked me I got up late And I was going to go downstairs And as I walked past the door It was traumatizing You know what the worst part was?

I heard him, not her Like I couldn't hear my mom That's the worst, when you can hear the dude over the girl Women are, I'm not saying women Her face is buried in a pillow, dude Well, she's probably No, but it's so fucked up to hear To hear your parents hooking up because

I just, you want to hear a woman When you hear someone hooking up You want to hear a girl Yeah, you don't want to hear someone go Even your mama? No, it doesn't matter I'm just saying the idea of sex I don't want to hear it at all But the idea of sex in your mind is like

The woman should be the one I hear So what did your dad hear? What did you hear? It was that, it was like, yeah And I was like, oh no Traumatizing I just went downstairs and ate everything in the fucking cabinet I was just eating, I was like What is it over?

You know what, I was thinking about Tell me something else to talk about Do you want to hear what new role play Is going on at home? Yes So our new role play is that I'm a gold star lesbian And he's a gold star gay guy

What's gold star? Like we've never been With the opposite sex Right And we But we're not getting laid I don't know what you're doing Cut his mic off We're both in college, but we're not getting laid But we're best friends

So we're having really just like In the conversation Let her do it So he's a gay guy, I'm a gold star lesbian But we're best friends, we're not getting laid lately And we're just in the dorm And we're just like, I guess we'll have sex So we're having very disinterested

No passion sex And you're like, I guess I gotta do this It's gonna disgust me Well he's a lesbian, I'm the gay guy Right Why did I think about it the other way? Why did I think you were a gay guy? I know, I can't believe I even jumped to the other conclusion

Yeah, and I've never had anything like Like, aside from fingers You're the lesbian, right? Yeah, that's not the lesbian voice That's my character choice I've never had anything but fingers I'm tired of other actors, you know me telling me How to choose my fucking characters Some of your choices aren't good

Alright, but the fucking director said Let me hear your gay guy voice Ew, pussy Which is, that's the only thing I've ever heard those guys say You know, Kalyla, I just don't talk to people Here's the thing, okay You and I, we share so much Have you heard about Brandon?

What? What is Brandon? Virgin Brandon Is that your little character, Virgin Brandon? Yeah, he's a Virgin Brandon Is Brandon in there? Sit down Get up to the microphone, is Brandon in there? Where's little Brandon? DoorDash! You know, Andrew, I travel a lot

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And control. Be RomanReady I'm here. What are you doing, Brandon? I'm scared. What are you scared of, buddy? I don't know. I don't know what my parents are. Oh, are you lost? Yeah. Who's that woman? That woman right there? Yeah. She makes me suck out her breasts. She does? Yeah.

It makes me pee-pee feel funny. Do you like it? Do you, Brandon? I like it. You do? Yeah. And then it cries. Oh, your pee-pee cries? You don't cry, do you? I cry because I'm so happy. Yeah, Brandon?

Where is she? She's right there. We do not do that kind of... No, no, no. No, no, no. You're not underage. This is called... This is Brandon talking to Andrew. It's not what he would react when he's with you.

I'm called... Virgin Brandon is a 29-year-old incel who's so thankful for the fact that I'm writing him backwards. That's Brandon. I was playing Timmy. Sorry. That was Brandon.

That's Brandon. You played Brandon. That's who you're talking about. Virgin Brandon is someone else. With this reverse cowgirl? No, no, no. I don't want to see... You don't want to see Brandon. But you know when she goes off, whenever I'm like... I've never done this before, right?

She's like, yeah, we'll just lay there. Let me do all the work. When it enters, my character acts as if Jesus himself. It feels so good. He just keeps saying thank you.

Thank you so much. And she comes so fast. She comes so fast. What do you say to him? You don't say shit, huh? You're not saying anything to little Brandon. Shut the fuck up, little Brandon. See, he likes it. I do.

Yeah. Who do you think the Bad Friends family has the weirdest or the most surprising sex stuff? Pete is just a... He's a good hearted bear. See, that's why I think he's just... I think he's a fucking freak because of that.

Because you don't write... Hey, dude, do you power fuck or what? Sometimes, yeah. Fuck. What about fancy? You think it's vanilla? Is fancy vanilla? Here's what I think about fancy. Have you guys ever seen...

You know the porn star's small hands? Yeah. There's one move he does that absolutely drives me wild. And I swear to God when I look at Andres, I'm like, this is what he does. He tears... He doesn't ever take the panties off. He rips the pussy part of the panty

and he creates a hole. Wow. It's just the wrong day to bring my status here. They're all in college. They're doing all this fucked up shit. He rips it, so he's a ripper. He's a ripper. He has never taken a panty off in his life, he rips it.

He doesn't know how. But he rips it carefully because he's going to sew it back up because he wants to save the underwear. He does it carefully. After she's naked, after he comes, he's just in the corner of the room sewing it back up. I'm so sorry. It's a very expensive...

Victoria's secret. Victoria's secret. Speaking of Victoria's secret, I don't know if we should talk about it. I already know what you're saying. We can't talk about it. But let's try. Let me prove to our audience

that we're not just sex and poo and gross stuff. We can talk about something adult and not be mean or fucked up. Can I just say this, we will talk about it, but before we talk about it, when I first saw the first photo I thought,

how did you feel? Maybe we shouldn't talk about it. I don't know. I need you to talk about it. I am in the dark about this. Let's say it so we all know. Victoria's secret hired their first

Down syndrome underwear model. Okay. Get the first picture, Pete. Fuckin' Pete. Zoom that out. Okay. I'm being honest and I'm not being mean.

I'm just saying the first thought was amazing tits. Holy shit, she have amazing perfect tits. Pete's nodding. And then the second thought was I think she's fucking beautiful. But the weird thing is they make you feel weird because they put it out there.

I'm saying the headline, the articles. The articles are like Down syndrome underwear model shows all. They're baiting you. They are baiting you. If they were to just put it out there as this girl without announcing it, that's the way to do it. If I saw that right, I would be like,

oh, yes. I'd be like, oh. She's hot. But they're doing this bait thing where they go, oh, you liked her? Oh, she has Down syndrome. How do you feel now? Now you make me feel

bad about even thinking about it Wow. Beautiful. And then later I read she has Down syndrome. Also, I wouldn't feel bad about it. Why would I? I know why they're doing it.

They're saying, hey, this is the first time it's happened. This should have happened before inclusion. Great, great. But also... It's a tough thing to talk about, man. I don't know why you would bring this up. Because it's interesting as fuck. Can we talk about Camilla?

What? Camilla? The Russian skater. Who she fucking got caught cheating and then she fell on all her routines. Don't you think they made her fall? I couldn't stop thinking about that. She fell on every... And you know what Johnny Weir goes?

That's the worst I've ever seen her skate in her career. Didn't she land like five quads just before that? Yes, so why would she fall so much? Because she's 15. No, Bobby, because she was in... She was so fucked up in her head about what had happened to her. That's what I'm saying. She's 15.

The pressures... It's not pressure. It's... First of all... She feels terrible that it's over. I think she's like, this is over. I'm fucked. No, she... Let's just hear me out, okay? Don't get angry. She's 15 years old, right? She's skating for the ROC, right?

The reason why they're called the ROC is why. Because they cheated before, right? And Sochi or whatever, right? So now she has a drug test that says positive, right? The Olympics in itself is pressure because she's like one of the best ones. She's expected to get gold.

She's the best. She's the best, right? And then she's like that little Qingchong that won for us. Nathan Chen. Nathan Qingchong Chen? That was his name. That's his big nickname, by the way. Qingchong. I think you're in love with him. What? You do love him. I love him so much.

Bring up a picture of this beautiful man. Nathan Chen is so fucking talented. Is his middle name Qingchong? For real? Well, that's my nickname for it. This guy is... Look at that point, brother. Oh my god. I just made you come. That's what he's doing.

You just came. Look at your penis. Look at how big your penis is now. This dude right here is fucking a prodigy. He's the man. He is the man. But he's a boy, right? How old is this guy? He's a boy. What the fuck? How old is he? He's 20? That's so funny. They're so young, but they're so unbelievably talented.

What did you do? I thought you were going to do a racial joke. What? Well, he's Asian, so he looks younger. I don't know. I mean, you guys all look amazingly young for your age. Thank you. Not you. Look at him right there. God, look at that. Oh, look at that. Why do they take those pictures in? Why do they publish them? Why do we need to see that?

He's such a handsome dude. They didn't need to put that one out there. You know, what the fuck are you doing? Wire image? You couldn't... This couldn't be one that you tossed? Like during the kill session? Everybody knows when you get photos, there's a kill session. Why did this go through? What if it's a beginning photographer?

It's his first time, right? And he's so nervous, right? And then he... That's the only good one that they got, right? And they're like, I guess fuck, man. Super talented. What do you think about Eileen Gu? Eileen Gu? Eileen Gu.

She's the girl that rode for China, but she's American. What do you think about that? Well, you got to have an opinion. She was born and raised here. Born and raised in some... From the Bay Area. She's from... Look at her. She's gorgeous. She's a model. She's so fucking talented. She's beautiful. She rides for China

because her mother is... Mom is Chinese? Mom is Chinese. But she's born and raised in America and she rides for China and there's a lot of controversy. When you mix Asian sometimes with white... White is great. White is right. Look what it did. Bless you. White is right. Look what it did.

White is right. Look what it did. White is her bread, like you. Not a sauda. We need a little bit of mixing. The 10 is hot. The point I'm making is racial mixing is fucking great. I'm being positive. I'm pro-racial mixing.

So, Eileen Gu, snowboarder, phenomenal. But she's riding for China, Bob. But China and her both won't answer her citizenship because you cannot have dual citizenship for China. She'd have to relinquish her American citizenship legally and then become a Chinese resident. And then become a Chinese regent and her quote was pretty political. She said something to the effect of when I'm in China

I'm Chinese when I'm in America when I'm in America. I'm an American But I you I identify with both nationalities because of my my background. Mm-hmm. I think Give it a try you trained in America you used our facilities And now you're gonna write for the Chinese Yeah, it's fucked up. Yeah, you can't train here. Okay. Did she get into the American team? She probably didn't and she's like I'll go to China wrong. She's the best she can get it better than toy The the Korean girl different event. This is skiing. This is snowboarding. No, no, no, I mean she's skiing Yeah, Chloe Kim is the snowboarder right but but

Who got her into skiing her immigrant Chinese her immigrant Chinese mom who moved to America? To give her a good life. Yeah, and they grew up in the Bay Area and then she trained in I think it was in Tahoe Tahoe and then guess what what you're America You can't do right for China. I just think it's not right. I think that's not fair because then you can say that about fucking I Can say I identify if I've spent every summer in Ireland my grandfather be like, oh, I'm Irish like well Well, I honestly I have fantasies about I really have fantasies about this about Eileen goo No, about me being an athlete in the Olympics. What would you play? Oh, no high jump Can you imagine I could watching you in a long distance money that I could high jump with the pole better than you can

That my bank account my literal bank account how much all of it all of it literally all of it hundred dollars No, let's make it. I don't want to get the homeless from it. All right, hundred dollars Find a facility fancy. Yeah, I'm dead with the same pole same high I would go higher. Well, no, you would need a shorter pole for sure No, no, no, I could use the same pole and that's rude. Do you think how look I'm at you me holding the pole this you holding the pole I got a telephone pole. Yeah, find a facility not now, but I have a fantasy of being a high jumper, right? And I trained in America and then Korea is like We don't have anybody to do that

Right, and you're the guy and me going on the phone. What the fuck you say speak English, dude Whatever, you know me rude asshole. Yeah, and then I'd be like, I will join you I think I would fucking high jump for Korea. You would yeah, I love being who I am And I love the Korean you're a San Diego boy. Yeah, you're a little San Diego bitch boy. You're Brandon You're a little Brandon You're our scare What is your character name when he's Brandon do you have one? I think I'm like adult Susan or something Susan or no, it's always the last name like Mrs. Gibson. Oh

Mm-hmm. Oh miss Gibson. No missus. Oh, she says that Mary. And what about mr. Gibson? What's he up to? Oh, yeah, don't stop now What do we think fancies fantasy is cuz he won't tell us Honey, I'm he would say was he Korean. No, I can't even it's a honey honey. I'm a homa. You said that like that honey I'm home. That's him. Okay, honey. I'm home. Yeah, right and she's like what she's I don't even know what his wife sounds Oh, she's beautiful by the way. She's gorgeous. She sounds like this. First of all, can I say something when I saw his wife? I Swear to God. I did not believe it Yeah, I did not it was like what do you think it is with fancy that she likes so much? It's not those shirts

It's definitely the shirts. Do you think it is? Yeah, by the way fans translucent skin We don't say translucent. Oh, so sorry about that. And the thing about fancy is that he brought his students to the show today Yeah, and they used to Seriously respect him Right, he's their fucking teacher and now we can I can we bring one student to stand here? I need to ask them a question. Well anyone volunteer who's the leader of the group? Oh What a cutie Do you know what this guy's name it? Well, you got to get him on camera. Oh, no, no, no, no

No, yeah, just stand right here in the middle of the room stand them up. Look at this cutie. What's what don't get too close Sit kneel down kneel down kneel down kneel down so they can see you. Thank you. This is funny. Yeah. Yeah Do you know what you know what this kid's name is? Let me guess look at me Francisco no, you won't believe you know, no, let me just give you give it. Yeah, it's me Andrew. No, what? Thank you. No, his name is Santino. That's his first name Santino. Yeah. Yeah. So let me ask you something my friend, right? Do you go to like DeVry? Oh my god, or no, just let me ask you that. Do you go to what school? Let me ask you what class are you taking? Is it like for like?

What is he teaching? No fucking Okay, he knows about that. Yeah, according to these young students. Yeah, he is the best. They are in love with this guy is Yell out loud is fancy the best Can you see this these kids respect this man? They love him. They think he's got the answer You know what the funniest part is Bob? He works We can fire him. Yeah at any moment and they would lose all this respect for him Yeah, he's not he doesn't even work for us. He's our slave. He's our little slave. He's our little slave

Let me say something about Santino connect. Look at beautiful eyes He is a pretty boy. Let me right now Santino. Look at that. Look at him. Look at the fresh skin stare at him Santino It don't break it. Look at my skin. My I'm a bro. I'm your elder. I'm 50 I'm Asian to respect me dude. Look at me right now You have soft angelic skin And it's a really nice, you know Are you a virgin? Oh, I love perfect. I want to say something about I want to say something about let me say something about your teacher, okay?

Whatever I do from now on right Whatever project to do I want him involved in everything that I do. That's how much I respect him. He really is Just one in a million and Yeah, man. He's a good dude. So congratulations. Let me tell you what I feel about him The moment and I mean this The moment this show is over Bob and I quit the show. I will

Never underline never Speak to that piece of shit ever I'll block his fucking number. They'll see me in the street. Hey Andrew. I will just look the other fucking way I want nothing to do with that pig and He direct he's a great director. He's a piece he directed shit a sketch for me dude like ten years ago They got like six views Wow, he's fine. All right, you can go back and sit with you Santino

You're the man. He's a good dude, right? He's a cutie patootie when I say cutie. It's not a you know, I mean, I just think that he's got a good energy That's all yeah, but it does have your it. Yeah, it's a little how old is it and Santino? How old are you? Yeah, it's a little weird Sorry about that Pete brought us something Pete. I'll try it out with Bob to see what he says Pete brought us a can Pete want you know Pete like games Pete wants us to do games. Yeah, what is it? It's a what-if game

All right, so this is for Kaila and Bobby together Let's see What if you had to dress each other for the insurrection? Oh, what would we dress? What would we do for you? That's a really good. What's your insurrection outfit? What would you do for me? How would you dress me up for the insurrection? You yeah, what I would do had it you have to dress me. I have to dress Kaila. All right, so what I would do is put eyeliner Yeah, yeah, so I want you to have like a Robert Smith cure of I'm sick, right? Yeah black cure wig Yeah, right. Yeah, and then I would want like Um, what's that movie with Angelina Jolie Magnificent Magnificent. Yeah that black leathery

With the you know what I mean? Oh, you're gonna look like Venom. Oh, that's so sick that like a slick. Yeah black Your leathery thing, right? I'm showing up high eyeliner, right? And then your Your speakers, right? Oh, guess what it's playing dashboard confessional Wow, you're gonna emo, right? But right you have a belt, right? And you've got like You're gonna really fuck things up. I've got guns. You got guns explosives You're giving me everything and then you break in and then you go to Nancy Pelosi's office What do I do in there, right? And what you do is you you you you kick the desk Yeah, you go

You're pants You see your pants and he pops up. Yes, sir. Yeah. What would I dress like? Uh, I would put you in one of the I would try to dress you in every single Racist stereotype that I could find. I want you wearing a rice paddy hat. I want you wearing a karate outfit. I want you wearing What? That's what they like And so what I want you wearing any 10 you need Do you need you need a turtle? Yeah, uh, I dress like and you have size a thousand different Asian profile

Yeah, you're all the all right, and you have size Obviously, you have those shoes that the divide the feet divide. Yeah, but they have you have socks and the And they're a little wooden bottoms of my feet bind binded. They're bound bound, right? Your feet are bound I probably have an accent a hundred percent and so I'm probably like I'm probably going Where? Even bigger. Yeah Oh, yeah Perfect, right. Yeah, and that's how I want you to be. Yeah. Yeah, because they would love that. They go to get a kick out of this guy

Yeah, look at Wang over here That's what they would say. I'm dressing you for those guys. It's so funny. Would they not light him on fire? A hundred percent. That's why I'm doing it. I'm just sending him in as bait How would we dress kalayla for it? You know what'd be better if you dressed me like elaine chow Oh, mitch mcconnell's wife. Very smart. Right. So I'm coming in right excuse me. I walk up here Can I see her by the way? Yeah, she might look like you. Yeah. Yeah. So I'm dressed as elaine chow Right. This is mitch mcconnell's wife. There we go Right. Can I be 100 serious?

Your hair looks exactly like that right now Move exactly you don't have to do much. No, seriously. That's you. I shave my mustache. It is good. I go to my office Right. I'll do the walk She walks like that What youivol harvesting heels if I get any of them and then what I would do is I'll just put down a briefcase Open up And the whole thing You'll do it. I'm dressed here dress Kaleila for the insurrection by the way

What if Bobby had a six-pack I Would you ever fuck them again? You would never fuck him again If you got into it never if I suck in my stomach you can see the packs Let me see like the outlines of where the packs used to be no No, they're there. It's just under a lot of fat You know you take a beer out of a six-pack and they're still and it's like this till the ring. Don't suck in let it go But let it go right now. Yeah suck as hard as you can now one two three suck Now jump up and down

It's not jiggling too much now put let it out wait. No, no Did you see any packs? I saw a suggestion of one I Saw like a I Saw like an apparition. I saw I saw a ghost of an ab I used to be a Ghostly ab that used to be there go Here's what I here's what I think I apologize to the kids kids this this this podcast

Was supposed to be I just got on a rehab Sunday, right? It was gonna be me, you know talk about like You know how we feel and this and that and because these kids are here, right? I felt like we had to do this. I just want to apologize. No, you know, man, don't they loved it Did you guys like it? Is there a camera on those kids? All right, so I want you guys to sign us off and say thank you for being a bad friend on The count of three all together, okay? One two three Thank you for being a bad friend that's great