Bad Friends - Sneaky Goosh & Lazy Alono in Cancún

Episode Date: November 8, 2021

Merch: http://badfriendsmerch.com Thank you to our Sponsors:  https://butcherbox.com/badfriends & https://hellofresh.com/badfriends14 code: BADFRIENDS14 & http://shipstation.com code: BADFRIENDS & https://www.liquid-iv.com code: BADFRIENDS YouTube Subscribe: http://bit.ly/ 0:00 Hall and Oates Jamming Session in Cancún 2:32 A Podcast from the Bathtub 8:56 Bombing with Jim Jeffries 20:10 The Problem Of Bringing Fancy to Mexico 27:08 Bobby and Andrew's Live Songs 34:05 A Good Test for Andrew and Bobby's Relationship 46:29 Andrew Gives Away Bobby's Expensive Shirt... Again 56:16 A Very Special Announcement 1:02:00 The Canada Dry Song 1:11:24 Rudy's Heartfelt Message to the Titos More Bobby Lee TigerBelly: https://www.youtube.com/tigerbelly Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bobbyleelive Twitter: https://twitter.com/bobbyleelive Tickets: https://bobbyleelive.com More Andrew Santino Whiskey Ginger: https://www.youtube.com/andrewsantinowhiskeyginger Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino Twitter: https://Twitter.com/cheetosantino Tickets: http://www.andrewsantino.com More Bad Friends iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-friends/id1496265971 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/badfriendspod Twitter: https://twitter.com/badfriends_pod Official Website: http://badfriendspod.com Opening Credits and Branding: https://www.instagram.com/joseph_faria & https://www.instagram.com/jenna_sunday Credit Sequence Music: http://bit.ly/RocomMusic // https://www.instagram.com/rocom Character Design: https://www.instagram.com/jeffreymyles Bad Friends Mosaic Sign: https://www.instagram.com/tedmunzmosaicart Produced by: George Kimmel & Bryce Hallock - 7EQUIS Podcast Producers: Andres Rosende & Pete Forthun Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

From the Bad Friends Podcast. Yeah! I love you, Sanfino! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

Yeah! Thank you so much. So, this guy right here, Andrew Sanfino, give him a round of applause. Oh, thanks, man. Thanks, man. He's a piece of shit. Oh, thanks, man. Thanks, man. He's a piece of shit. All right? He's ugly. But anyway,

I know he's not. He's hot as fuck, okay? I've sucked his dick three times. All right. All right. It's delicious. So my point is that we didn't know what song it was. We went in the woods over there. Is there a woods over there? There's no woods. There isn't? We went in the darkness, and we rehearsed it for the first time, so excuse us.

So you're getting it the first time, all right? The first time we've ever done this. All right? Are you going to help us sing? Josh has to sing. Josh, help us sing. You must, must, must, must, must. Are you guys ready to go?

Are you guys ready to go? One, two, three, four. Oh! What I want, you got it. No, no, no. Hold on, hold on. You're too early. Now!

No, we got it. We fucking rehearsed this on the fucking beat. He got it. No, he stops and then you go. He was on it. One more time. One, two, three, four. Yeah, yeah. Two more time. One, two, three, four. Yeah, yeah.

Two more times. Here we go. I'll tell you when. I'll tell you when. Fuck. Here we go. What I want, you've got it far behind the candle. I can play the fun, the candle.

The candle's in the bag. I can't stop, won't stop. I thought that dream just got up. Burn the candles, the candles in the flame. Oh, yeah. Stock, gold stock, a thought, a dream, a scatter. And you put them all together. And I can't explain. Oh, yeah. Well, well, you. You make my dreams come true.

Oh, oh, oh, oh. Well, well, well, you. You make my dreams come true. Well, well, well, you. You make my dreams come true. You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots? A white dude and an Asian dude. You two are disgusting. You two are something.

We're bad friends. You have to take your clothes off. Don't burn your cigarette on your shirt. Don't burn your shirt with your cigarette. Okay, this is my first rodeo. Okay? Good boy. This is my first rodeo. All the way there.

Yeah, sure. We can blur it. Go ahead. No, no, we'll do it. We'll blur it. Go ahead. Come on in. Wow, it's so funny and so small.

Come on in. I mean, it's a... No, it's nice. It's actually kind of nice. It's so dark. Your penis is the darkest penis I've ever seen in my entire life. Come here real quick.

Let me see. Hey, look at this. Coming to you live from Cancun, Mexico. We're here with Bobby Lee, sir. Oh, my God. It's so sleepy, peepy. He's so sleepy. Come on, get in here.

Let's get in the tub. This is definitely the intro. All right. I'm going to sit on the edge while my little nudie booty is down there. This is definitely the intro Yeah Alright I'm gonna sit on the edge While my little nudie booty is down there Hey welcome to Cancun I'm one of your hosts Bobby Lee

And we've got Andrew Santino And this has been a disaster Okay welcome Welcome back to Bad Friends Bob's in the tub and he's butt naked. It's been a disaster. And it's been, no, it's been kind of fun. Well, aside from the fact that I experienced the worst show I've ever done in my life.

Yeah, we did the worst show we've ever done in our entire life. You know, that was the worst show I've ever done in my life. Poor Jim Jeffries. At one point, Jim Jeffries turned to me and was like, I can't hear a fucking thing you're saying. He couldn't hear anything we were saying. No, he looks at me at one point. His face is sweating. Yeah, dripping sweat.

And he goes, can we go? Wait, what is that? Can we go? Let me hear. Can we go? Can we go? Yeah, and I go, no. He's a cheeky little British boy.

Can we go? And I go. Let me get in the tub with you. I want to hear, man. This is going to be so bad for my back. Scoot back, please. Go back over on that. I've never seen so much of you.

Lean it back against there. There it is. Put your penis above your thighs, though, so it's poking up. Why? Because I want to see it. Can you see it on the camera? I'm trying not to. Let me see.

Cute, right? Yeah. Pretty cute. It's so funny to see your little shell just popping up yeah it's like a when did it stop growing do you think seven bro bro all right it's always been growing all right you should see that i can't stop looking at it it's so many years ago i can't stop looking at it you know what it is it looks like a skin tag you know when you're on the beach? You know when you're on the beach and you see an animal emerging from the sand after the water washes over it? That's what that looks like.

It pops up a little bit and then it goes right back down. It goes right away. No, I feel like it deserves a shell. It needs a shell. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It needs a little thing where it can- With a protective layer. And when it pops up, just a little head, it's a little eye pokes through.

Yeah, like that, right? And then it goes back down. Is he going, suck me, right? And then it goes back down. Is he going suck me. Suck me. Or is he going suck me. Feed me. Oh, feed me. That's hot. But I don't think it absorbs. No, it doesn't actually eat. Oh, can I have a theory?

And I talked about this before. I might have already. But I have a theory that men queef as well. You've had air come out of your pants well one night i was in the bathtub and i hear that sound and i realized that was a little bit of an air coming out of my pee hole so in theoretically it's a queef But it's coming out of a penis And just because this doesn't make a lot of sound Like a woman's queef does

Women's are full on Give me an example of A woman's queef is like Yeah yeah yeah And mine's more like So we call it a puif A puif You want to call it a puif?

I think I've come up with a new term I've never done with a new term. I've never done that. Have you ever Pweefed, Fancy? You don't know you're doing it because it's so small. I don't think I have. You don't think you have? You've never Pweefed? Yeah, I don't think I Pweefed.

I don't know if that's real, but I think it could just be your biology. Maybe it's a theoretical idea that probably isn't true. But, you know, let's talk about Endor. Okay, so here's what happened. First of all, can you get a shot out there, George? Look what they put. They put us so many other people. Nikki Glaser got an ocean front view.

We have the jungle. And zoom down if you can see down there. People are cutting as we're podcasting. They're cutting. It's Mexican people doing what they do. They're just cutting away. They just love it. As soon as they find a knife or scissors, they're like, I got to go to cut something.

And they just got to go cut stuff. Bobby said that that was a reward. I said, is that a punishment? And Bobby said, no, that's a reward for them. Well, I don't know if you know this, but if you want to capture a Mexican, all you have to do is put... No, just hear me out. All you have to do is build it like a little cage.

Yeah. Right? Oh, wow. Right? And then you have a little trap door thing. Right. Oh, well. Right. And then you have a little trapdoor thing. Right. I get that. Right.

And inside, just put a couple of scissors. Like one of those long. Shears. Shears. Shears. That's what they call them. Whackers. Yeah.

Weed whackers. Yeah. And all of a sudden you hear, tongue. The gate will close. And you have four of them. You'll get four of them. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. What are we doing here? Yeah. What are we doing here? Yeah, what are we doing here? And they get scared and all you have to do is give them a chimichanga. That's it? Yeah.

It relaxes them. Oh, they calm down. Yeah, they love fried beef. They love it. It relaxes them and what you do is comprende. Comprende, comprende.

Which means do you understand, right? Correct. And they go, in their own way, I don't know Spanish, but in their own way, they're going, we know that we've run into a Korean demon. Yeah, when they know right away, they can smell it.

Yeah. And let me tell you something. Is that racist what I just said? It is. But please don't steal a Mexican. It feels racist. Well, remind the fans not to steal a Mexican. Please don't steal it.

Don't steal the Mexicans. No. No, please don't steal one. It's just something to do, remind the fans not to steal a Mexican. Please don't steal it. Don't steal the Mexicans. No. No, please don't steal one. It's just something to do. That's like a sign they would have at the border. Please don't steal the Mexicans. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But if you notice out here, this is where they shot Endor.

I keep saying that. It does look like it. It looks exactly. Wait, really? Yeah. No. Yeah, they shot Endor scenes. In Cancun?

Not in Cancun, but in this area. In this area? I just made that up. Oh, they shot Endor scenes. In Cancun? Not in Cancun, but in this area. In this area? I just made that up. Oh, I know you did. Speaking of Cancun, last night we were happy to know that we did a couple of shows. We can cut to the tape right now of us bombing with Jim Jefferies. You'll see some of this right now. Here you go.

I masturbate. Thank you. And I get really lonely, you know. So when I masturbate, I grab my own ass. That was it? Yeah, I should write more. I should write more. That joke crushed.

Yeah! That was a killer. I have another one. Give me another shot. Please try one more time. I have another shot. I have another, alright? So my mom was a Jehovah's Witness? You guys know that?

Do you know that? My mom was a Jehovah's Witness? My mom was a Jehovah's Witness! Your mom was a Jehovah's Witness, yeah. You guys know that, right? His mother's a Jehovah's Witness? Is that what's happening? Can I translate the jokes for the Australian people? Let me finish the fucking joke. Okay.

So then my mom used to knock on my bedroom door and I'd go, what do you want, Mom? She'd go, just practicing. Crushed. Crushed. Pretty good joke. Clean, too. When was the last time you did that joke?

20 years ago. 20 years? It was about five seconds ago. You do a joke that you used to do. 20 years ago? Yeah, yeah. 20 years ago. Every time, I'll sit down

you don't boss me around I flew here for you okay okay I'll two Jews it's okay. 20 years ago joke.

One of my first jokes was... Oh, I saw a sign. A girl holding a sign that said... Stode over. Is that it? Stode over. It wasn't clear. Stode over. And more energy because you that it? Stowed over. It wasn't clear. Stowed over.

And more energy because you're doing a joke. This is a show. So a little energy. Alright? Everybody, Andrew Santino! Woo! Make it good. I saw a girl holding a sign and it said,

Make love, not war. Which is weird because every time I make love it's just like war. There's a lot of destruction, a lot of death, and money is usually owed. It's a prostitute, an old prostitute joke. Pretty good. It's one of my first jokes.

Pretty good joke. Jim, can you do a bad joke you did from back in the day? He doesn't want to do it. He doesn't have any bad jokes. He can't think of any. I can't remember any of my stuff from 20 years ago. That was like one of the first shitty jokes that I wrote. And I remember it actually did good enough in open mics where I was like, all right.

I can remember one bit I used to do from my first ever set, but it's not. Hold on. It's not good. Let's hear it. Let's hear it. Let's hear it. It was from my first set, so it's not... Hold on. It's not good. Let's hear it. It was from my first set, so it's not... Yeah. Come on! Come on, baby!

Come on, baby! I don't remember how it goes. So I used to be obsessed with doing religious jokes. I probably watched too much Bill Hicks or some shit like that. So this is what I had. I was like, Jesus, right? He didn't know he was Jesus until he was 30. He died at 33. For the first 30 years, he did fucking nothing. And then when he turned 30, he started doing miracles and shit for the last three years. And then he died.

Surely his mother would have said something. She would have gone, I was artificially inseminated by an angel. You should check on that. Maybe that was. But he worked as a carpenter up until then. Maybe it wasn't his fault. Maybe his dad sat him down and said, look, it's good that you got in all that. But maybe you should get yourself a trade first,

something to fall back on. And then I go, no, there's an ending, hold on. And I go, it would have been weird, every time he was talking to like 1,000 people, there always would have been one cunt up the back going, isn't that the bloke that built my gazebo? Yeah, baby! Very good. That was a good joke.

Andreas, your turn. Andreas, everybody! Andreas, everybody! Get over here. Ladies and gentlemen, he's been practicing for six months. He's got great jokes, man. One more time.

I don't know his last name. Andreas, everybody. Come on, fans. Come on, fans. Come on, fans. They enjoy torturing me. Also, little stand-up comedy tip. Untuck your trouser from your sock. That throws the audience off.

Yeah, or make a match. That's much better, like you're meant to do it. Sexy! Sexy! Sexy! Sexy! Sexy! Sexy! Sexy! Do the joke. It's coming. Do the joke, fans.

Okay, here we go. All right. A really PC joke. the joke, fans. Okay, here we go. Alright. A really PC joke. What do you call a chink? A fat chink. A fat chink. What do you call a fat chink?

Did he say fat chick? What do you call a fat chick? Is that what he said? What do you call a fat chick? Yeah. I feel the name fat chick is already mean enough. What do you call a fat chick? Chunk. Chunk fat chick? Chunk. Chunk. What?

Chunk. Sure. Chunk. Andreas, give him a round of applause. Also, last night in Cancun, a cartel stormed a resort and shot two people and killed them. Do you know this? That's hearsay. No, no, no.

That's right-wing media. We're trending on Twitter. Right-wing media, dude. It's hearsay. Oh, is that fake news? I don't know. Let me ask you something right now. Yeah. With your little orange eyes.

Yeah. Right? Do you see any other hotels around here? No. Well, then you put two and two together. It didn't happen it's fake news yeah would it happen that little house over there that little tiny hut down there my point is is this did it really happen yeah two people got killed but you know it's 30 minutes north what

i loved about what happened last night is you had to tell the organizer last night in the right the guy that worked the information you go yeah did you know that in the group, right? Yeah, the guy that worked for Chase. The information. You go, yeah, did you know that in the resort afterwards, there's a fucking stand down. There's fucking fighting people dying. And he was like. And he was like freaking out. He was like, oh, really? Yeah, and he could tell in his mind, like, what do I do?

Because I even said to him, I was like, I'm going to get on a flight and go home. And he was like. Why did you say that? Because I get uppity and puppity when I get up. You were really, I've never seen you so sad. Yeah, because we. After a show.

We ate shit. we ate shit. We ate shit. I never bombed with you before like that in my mind. No, because we couldn't do anything. We couldn't hear each other. The crowd was like, there was 600 people, something like that. And the ceilings were 30 feet high. We couldn't hear anything.

Honestly, five minutes in, I had that feeling of like, oh, this is going to be the worst human experience of my life. We panicked. That was terrible. It was really bad. He may never talk to us again. He won't. He actually told me. He's like, lose my number, mate.

I feel that. It felt like we're never going to see him again. Yeah, but it's okay. It's fine. Yeah. Although I brought up the Brad Pitt thing. Do you hear me say that? Yeah.

What do you mean? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So one time, I was with Jim in Canada and Brad Pitt kept texting him and I just thought that was really cool that he knew him.

It is cool. Don't you think that's cool? It is. What's the biggest one you know? The biggest celebrity I know? Yeah. Maybe Fancy. Fancy might be the most.

By the way, you know how famous. Can I rub my dick against your leg? Do you know how famous this guy is in Mexico? Fancy, everyone is stopping him. Oh, my God. It feels so gross. It's so gross. Your wiener on my ankle. What's falling off? Is that dirt so gross. It's so gross. Your wiener on my ankle?

What's falling off? Is that dirt falling off? It's dust, not dirt. Does this help? But dude, this is like... If my leg gets infected with something, I'm going to be so upset. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This feels like a girl. Yeah.

This, yeah. This reminds me, I'm making love to Tanya Lee. Tanya Lee Harding. What to Tonya Tonya Lee Harding What? You mean you mean? This is so uncomfortable Can you put a put my big toe up near your your penis and see which one's bigger oh My big toe is bigger. Yes, it is. It's not bigger, dude. That's ridiculous.

Sit back a little bit. Your body is beautiful. It's like a little round. God damn, I love the compliments. It's like a little yellow egg. Yeah. It's like a little round egg. When you get to my age and you look in the mirror, you just don't care anymore.

Why don't you care anymore? You're 50 and you're like, it's like, let's suppose I'm single again, right? I feel like I'd still be able to maybe swing some. No, honestly, you don't think? Maybe. No, no, you think that if I was single, I wouldn't

be able to get a girl? I think you'd be down there, okay. You honestly think that I would not? What scale are you looking at? Like what number? On the number scale of 0 to 10 for real What kind of woman do you think you get at this point In your life, in your career?

I'm not leaving Kalilah You just did a hypothetical Hypothetically, what kind of girl? I think that I could probably do What do you mean, number wise? Yes I kind of want to do it just to prove you wrong I think I can do a 9 No way wise? Yes. Don't say. I kind of want to do it just to prove you wrong.

But I think I can do a nine. No way. Nothing over eight. It's Kalilah in eight then? No, we're talking about the future reference. No, but what is Kalilah now? Well, that's you to judge, not me. What did you judge? A ten. A ten? Pandering. He's pandering. He's pandering. What about you, George? A ten. Six and a half.

Five and a half, six and a half. I half i am more toward no she's to me no she's the best but i'm saying or 10 in the future we're talking about in the future if you're trying to get something new you're getting nothing above an eight no chance and all this is doing is having someone that we know the fans are going to go i'm a nine and i would date bob. That's what's going to happen now. Yeah. I mean, with the depreciation of the coin here in Mexico, maybe he can get a 10.

This is the problem. Once you bring him down here, he starts soaking up some of his old ways. Yeah, I don't like it. I know. That's the old ways. He's like,

once you bring me down here, I'm going to do a fancy business. Yeah. Your old proverbs come out. I don't like it. Oh my God. We did this last.

So we went to dinner the first night. Me, George, and fans went it. Oh, my God. We did this last. So we went to dinner the first night. Me, George, and Fancy went to dinner, and Fancy was wasted. We've got some video of him dancing. You guys can see. Yeah, man. This is the thing that we learned. The Mexicans hate Fancy because he speaks with uppity British accents.

That's what I could tell. And then, honestly, the waiter would come over, and every time he came over, Fancy goes, Mira, mira, mira, mira, mira, mira, mira, mira, mira. And the guy would bend down, and he would roll his eyes, and Fancy didn't notice because he was shit-faced, but Fancy speaks with a proper British accent, right? Down here, it's like Cockney. Like, oh, you want another cup of soup? And Fancy's like, yes, I'd like another cup of soup, please.

He's way too uppity. They did not. The Mexicans hated it. but and fancy's like yes I'd like another cup of soup please that's he's so he's way too uppity they did not the Mexicans hated it but I do love being because we went to the Mexican restaurant last night

and knowing that you know the language doesn't it feel better well it makes me feel a little bit safer but then I know they also don't like him you can tell they don't

but at least we have communication something we have something there yeah yeah do you feel them judging you a little bit fans a little bit a little bit yeah yeah how can you tell like did they smirk at you a little bit when you yeah they roll their eyes they so imagine dude back in the day dudes that look like him they get off a boat here in mexico in mexico right yeah we have swords

probably do you guys have swords back swords and crosses swords and crosses. You came on the beach with your glowy white skin. And you saw a brown person. And what you went haywire on. Get him! Get him. They're terrible people, the Spanish. Really? And then you guys shared your language with them?

Yeah. Is that what that happened? Forced them to speak it. Forced them to speak your language with your God. We call them giving culture. Giving culture, that's what they call it. Yeah, he would, bigot. And look at the woods out here. How much atrocity has happened?

His people. Like babies just tied to a tree. Why would you tie the babies to the tree? Well, it was like a landmark, because that's how they know to get back to where they're going. Oh, really? Do they ask the babies, or are they dead? Did they ask them and say, do you mind us making you a landmark? Well, no.

You have the babies tied to a tree. They're a landmark. Do you go, hey, where's Wes? Over there, sir. I mean, do they talk? Yeah. How about it this way? Yeah.

Anyway, why did you do those to the people? Back then. I think it was just a way to connect with people. That was a way to connect. Yeah. yeah i mean now we have social media now which is cool but back then dude they had their own way to connect that was social media yeah yeah yeah they're poking us with a sword so it was like so so so so pillaging and raping and murdering that was your that was like a post for you guys? That's like an Instagram post? Yeah. How many likes did that get?

The whole village was like, that's good, that's good, that's good. And then they celebrated. These people were, I mean, I say Mexico over Spain, 100%. Mexico's great. I love Mexico, man. It's beautiful.

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be your life song if someone had if imagine if frank sinatra or someone like that was still alive and they sung a song about you yeah how would How would it go? Like when he dedicated songs to like cities or people or women. Hello, San Diego. Little Korean boy is born. Beat, beat, beat him down. With the golf club, beat him down. My last station in your future.

Is it slick? Is it slippery stuff? Right? Yeah, yeah? Yeah, yeah, yeah And then here comes the drugs The drugs are on your highway Right?

Molestation And drugs Korean boy You got a sad future No, different genre What you're doing, I think Oh, sorry San Diego Yeah, but what is that? Boy, you've got a sad future. A different genre of what you're doing, I think. Oh, sorry.

San Diego. Yeah, but what is that? Doesn't he talk about, doesn't he talk about cities? Yeah, but Sinatra would be. He doesn't talk about cities. Yeah, he does. Yeah, well, let's go back.

San Diego, USA. But do it in a Frank Sinatra. I don't know how to do it. His rhythm. You start. His rhythm was like, his rhythm was like, remember the song One Singular Sensation?

You know. One singular sensation. Every little step you take. I think you would do that. So listen to the beat. Hey, San Diego, California. No, he would have gone. Frank would have gone.

San Diego, what. No, he would have gone. Frank would have gone. San Diego, what a town. Yeah. Little Korean boy beating around. He's getting abused and molested. Thrown out of windows. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's it. He contested.

He takes it in his tush. Hey! Yeah, yeah. He's a dirty little gushy gush. Is it gushy? It's a gushy gush. Wait,y Goosh. Is it Goosh? It's a Gooshy Goosh. Wait, wait, wait. Did you just say? A new racist term?

Did I just make up a term? Gooshy Goosh? Gooshy Goosh is a new racist term. Is he a little Gooshy Goosh? I want to say this too. When it comes to racial terms, it literally goes, chink, right?

Gooshy Goosh. Gooshy Goosh? Yeah, yeah. Gooshy Goosh is good. To me, Gooshy Goosh. Gooshy Goosh. Yeah, yeah. Gooshy Goosh is good. To me, Gooshy Goosh hurts more than gook. No. Yeah. Hurts more than any of them.

Hurts more than any of them. By the way, Gooshy Goosh is- Don't ever call me that again. Will you name your album Gooshy Goosh? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, 100%. Gooshy Goosh. He's a little Gooshy Goosh.

He's a sneaky- Sneaky is always good. He's a little sneaky Goy gush. He's a sneaky. Sneaky is always good. He's a little sneaky gush. A gush. He's a sneaky gush. Gush is nice. It's G-O-O-S-H. Gush.

Sneaky gush. Yeah. Name your next special sneaky gush. I will. He's a little sneaky gush. Yeah. What about you? What if Frank Sinatra was singing a song about you?

Chicago, Chicago. He's a redhead from divorce and drugs and alcohol. And then he was sad, abused as a boy, beat up and bullied. Big old ears, pale and thin as a rail. He's got pimples all over his face. Pimple all over his butt. Can you teach me how to rap? You want me to teach you how to rap you want me to teach you

how to rap I've never learned how to rap I really haven't alright so I think I wrote one my name is Bobby Lee I'm the king of society I rap

I sing I do it in variety I wrote that when I was a kid but that's like the 80s rap yeah yeah my name is Bobby Lee king of society.

I rap, I sing, I do it in variety. Oh! Oh! And then they raise the roof, right? Well, they don't do that anymore. Yeah. Back in the day, though,

in the 80s. Back in the day, they sometimes did. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But don't you understand that rap you're doing is like this. That was like cool in the gang

when it was like, I don't know much. I know. I don't know new rap. That's the thing. It's like, I love music. Mm-hmm. But you don't love rap. Just hear me out. It's because of the black people. You don't know new rock. That's the thing. It's like I love music.

But you don't love rap. Just hear me out. It's because of the black people. You don't like the black people and that's what it is. Name a black artist that you like right now. Go. Fast. Smalls. Smalls?

Yeah, Biggie Smalls. Who is that? Biggie Smalls. He's dead. Give someone that's current. That's a Chupac. Chupac. Chupac.

That's in Korean. Chupac. Chupac is here. Chupak. Shupak Shukur. Shupak Shukur. That's in Korean. Shupak. Shupak is here. Shupak. Are you guys listening? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Briggie. Briggie Shupak.

Briggie Shukur. Briggie and Shupak. Battle. No, because back in the day, like when my brother was into hip hop, I would like you to- He still is. He loves it.

Me and him talk about it. You know, when Jurassic 5 came out, I wanted that album. You know what I mean? I mean, there are certain albums- Mark 7. But it's been so long since somebody has said, you should check out this new hip hop album. I kind of lost my way.

I was into like Tribe Called Quest back in the day. I loved De La Soul, that type of rap. But I just kind of lost my way. It has nothing to do with anything culturally or anything like that. I want to learn. No one's suggesting. I'll suggest a bunch of albums for you to listen to. I'll send you a bunch of stuff on Spotify. Can I be honest with you too? You don't like it.

Can I be completely and utterly honest with you? I know what it is. You don't want me to give you knowledge about something. No, that's not what it is. It's so funny that you say that because Kalilah says that all the time. It drives me crazy. What is it then? It's I don't trust your taste. I really don't. I honestly don't trust your taste.

I have such good musical taste. When it comes to movies and when it comes to anything arts, I don't listen to you. You have bad art taste. Dude, I'm not saying that to start a fight with you. Yeah, you are. I'm trying to be fucking honest with you. I'm being honest with you. Yeah, yeah. I I'm trying to be fucking honest with you. I'm being honest with you. Yeah, yeah.

I don't trust your taste. I don't trust your taste. And that's fine. We can still do our podcast. You just don't know anything about hip hop and so you're embarrassed if I teach you something. It's embarrassing to you if I teach you about the culture.

You know nothing about the culture. This is how I work. You barely work. Oh, you want to go there? Yeah. I don't. All right. I definitely don't. But. No, you're working too much. Bobby's going back to Hawaii to do Magnum

P.I. Then he's going back to New York to do Sex and the City. Then he's going back. Can I tell you how I work? Oh, please. Can I tell you how I work? Please. Sorry for yelling. That's fine. Kalaya will be like, you should, like, two years ago, you should watch this movie. I'm. That's fine. Kalaya will be like, you should, like two years ago, you should watch this movie.

I'm sure it's good. Oh, yeah. Right? Because once they say that, it takes me a year to get around to it. I understand that. Right?

If I can discover something on my own, I'm generally more, you know, on it, you know? My teeth hurt so bad right now. Wait, why? Because I went to the dentist a month ago

and this side of my mouth, two teeth were in really pain. Let me see. Open your mouth real fast. No, not right now. Let me finish what I'm going to say. Let me see. Let me finish what I'm going to say. Okay.

This side of the mouth now is beginning to really hurt. My bottom tooth, it's so sore I have to drink eat ibuprofen every hour you know that's not good for you for your liver why do we we stayed in the pocket

for too long I think no it was good enough make a decision let's go together no you were going to kiss me you were going to kiss me we got to go no we're not we got to go stayed in the pocket for too long? I think no, it's good enough make a decision No We gotta go but no we're not we got to go back in the pocket. I have to make a different decision You should have done it all right fuck I miss my but wait Bob, you know, you do know that your heart Your heart is your teeth

You know, you can have a heart attack from having bad teeth. You know that That's a real thing. You guys never heard of this if you're if you have like infections in your mouth They can cause heart disease. I'm being 100% Am I lying or am I telling the truth? What's the point? What can I do here in Mexico

right now? Hold the mic, fans. Yeah, what can I do in Mexico right now? What do you mean? Am I going to have a heart attack? There's nothing I can do. I mean, when I get back into LA,

I'm going to go back. Let me feel your pulse. Don't touch my fucking body, dude. I'm going to feel your pulse. All right. Feels good, huh? You know what? I'm here. Ready? Count this. George, do a timer on this pulse so All right. Feels good, huh? You know what? I'm here.

Ready? Count this. George, do a timer on this pulse so we can see how high his blood pressure is. Ready? Hold on. Up here.

It's up here. All right. You grabbed my dick. Stop. Ow! Well, stop. Ready? Tell him to start.

I'm going to grab your dick. No, stop it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can't do your pulse if you're grabbing my penis, Bob. Would you do this in the emergency room if they're like,

sir, you're dying? You're not a doctor! Maybe I am. All right. I'm training to be a doctor. I'm not going to squeeze your dick hard. Yes, you are. I know what you're grabbing my penis, Bob, would you do this in the emergency room? If they're like, sir, you're dying. You're not a doctor. Maybe I am. All right. I'm training to be a doctor. I'm not going to squeeze your dick hard. Yes, you are. I know what you're going to do.

You're going to pinch it. No, I need your pulse. No. I need your pulse. You're going to pinch it as hard as you can. I'm not stupid. How about this? You can punch me in the face if I punch it too hard.

If I squeeze too hard. No. It's a really good test for a relationship. I don't buy it. Well, you're going to have to. Because I've been down this road with you before. I know, but no. And it always goes the way that I know it's going to go.

Can I have another shot? No. I it's gonna go Can I have another shot No I beg of you can I have another shot No no no thank you As a friend No thank you Well you're not touching my fucking throat Fine Even Steven you just ruined the bit

Because you want to squeeze my fucking penis No the bit is funny If I stick my two fingers on your penis While you do it That's the bit You're ignoring They can't even see that And it doesn't do anything

It makes it funny for you Because you're gonna end up Punching my penis or flicking my penis. Let's vote. Let's vote. Yeah, it is a democracy, is it not? No, it's not. Yes, it is.

No, we're in Mexico. It's a vigilante run state. So us four, right? Me pulsing Andrew's dick. Raise your hand. We're pulsing Andrew's dick. Raise your hand. Thank you so much.

All right? Three against one. Let's go. Are you ready? I'm going to give you an example. If you hit me in the face. I promise. If you hit me in the face. I promise. I promise. I'm going to's dick. I thank you so much. All right. Three against one. Let's go. Are you ready? I'm going to give you an example. I promise. I promise. I promise.

I promise. Ready? You get my ball. Do not tell me what territory I can fucking conquer. You get my ball. I want to conquer the territory I want to conquer. No. No, no, no.

I don't let you conquer my territory. I'm going to go back. I'm going to fight. Dude, if I'm Magellan, I see an island, right? You can't be telling me what island to fuck inside of the island. Could you imagine you want a boat to find a new land? I'm not going to let you punch me in the penis.

I'm not going to punch. I swear to God, I won't. Just gentle. Watch. Look at how gentle I'm going. See? It's nice. Yeah.

All right, George, ready? Stop laughing because we have to take your pulse. Stop. Calm. I know. Stop. Hold on. Hold on.

Hold on. And ready, George? And stop. I'm going to get hard. Don. I know. Stop. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. And ready, George. And stop. I'm going to get hard. Don't do that. Okay. Do you want me to start now? Yeah.

Start on one. Start on one, two, three. One, two, three, four, five. Stop rubbing my penis. Stop. Yeah, yeah. Did you do it? Okay.

Multiply that. What does it multiply it? It was five seconds. So a beat a second? Yeah. 60 beats a second. That's really good. Really good. That's really good blood pressure.

That's really good blood pressure. That's like some of the best blood pressure I've ever heard in my life. I know. And I was going to tell you that. God, that's really good. But go ahead and test it. No, we just tested it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

What is that? You know what? What is that? No matter who's touching your penis, man, woman, it doesn't matter. It's going to get hard if you rub the head. It's going to get hard if you rub the head. It's going to get hard if you rub the head. I'm saying. I don't think that's true. I'm not attracted to you at all. You start rubbing the head, it's going to get hard.

Can we do a little science experiment? Let's do a little science experiment. We have to do it on fancy. On George. Rub George's penis and let him do it. And see if he gets hard. Yeah, George, stand right here. George, get over here. George, stand right here. George, stand right here. Let's see if we can get you Harry

but it's got and you have to rub the head of his penis like you did mine oh I'm gonna do it I'm gonna be pro you be pro yeah I'm gonna be the Wayne Gretzky of whatever this is hold on

one second hold on hold on let fancy go see if he can see it he's getting ready he's getting stacked up George is getting so stacked up all right we're ready to go yeah ready okay we're

ready to go I have to lube my fingers 100% yeah yes he does yes he does yes he does for some reason I have George how else could it be how else could it be yeah there it is all right all right hold on here we go where is it right here yeah you feel it yeah this is so gay yeah this feels gay so what but it feels it you're spitting on me i'm sorry my bad my bad let me see all right no but do it soft do it it soft. I am. Do it soft. Hands in the air.

Don't put your hands in your air. And it's 60 seconds. Don't close your eyes. No, no, no. Let him do that. I like that. Let him do that. That's funny to me.

When you close your eyes, it makes it intimate. Let him close his eyes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, because he doesn't know who's doing it. Don't visualize anyone else. He doesn't know who's doing it. Don't visualize anyone else. All right, all right.

Okay, I'm going to start the timer. Look at that. It's getting bigger. I'm going to start the timer. Can I notice? Do you notice? It's leaking. Oh, my God.

You're leaking. It's leaking. All right, here we go. I'm going to start the timer. Can I notice? Do you notice? It's leaking. Oh, my God. You're leaking. It's leaking. All right, here we go. I'm going to start the timer. 60 seconds. Ready? And go. 60, 59, 58.

How's it going? Seven. Oh, my God. It's moving. Six, five. It's moving. Yes, it is. Yes, it is.

It's moving. Oh, my God. It's moving. It's like an animal. Like an animal. Oh, my God. George. It's like an animal.

George, it's thicker now than it was when you walked over it. 100%. 100%. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. now than it was when you walked over it. 100%. 100%. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Is this? Yeah. Look at it.

Look at it. Look at it. Look at it, dude. Look at it go. Look at it go, baby. All right. Get out of here. You're lost.

Let me tell you something. I physically watched it move. Me too, dude. Look at this. It went like this. The head literally went like this. Yeah. Yeah.

You know what it reminded me of? It was escaping. It was leaving. It reminded me that you and I are astronauts where we find a new M-class planet. We're going, should we get fucking to go ahead from NASA? You're like, let's just go down.

Let's just go. We go down. We land smoothly, right? We see an animal. That's what it looked like. That's exactly. It's something, a brand new kind of species. Yeah.

And we touch it and it goes like this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow, that was crazy. Hey, can you imagine if we go to a planet like that and there's little penises all over the place? Yeah. And we run out of food. We run out of food. Here we go again, man.

What does everything have to do? Every time you and I are together. It's homoerotic it goes into some weird homoerotic place that i don't want to venture to okay i have christian i'm not a christian you're not but i have belief so okay what are your christian beliefs and what are they are you repressing something hollow ghost i was called hollow ghost the hollow ghost did i say hollow ghost the hollow ghost right yeah the tr hollow ghost? All praise the hollow ghost. The hollow ghost, right? Yeah.

The Trinity is what I'm talking about. The Trinity is what? Give it to me. Jesus Christ. No. God, man. No. What?

Father, Son, and the Holy Ghost. The hollow ghost. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so I believe in all those things. Did you guys have crosses in your house? Did your mom put up crosses? We didn't have a single... No.

You didn't in your hallway or something? But my brother, you know, because you know my brother was a born-again Christian in high school. No. Yeah, and he would cut out. You know this. He would cut out of Bible verses and tape them to the wall. Yuck. And it got to the point where his bedroom was from top to bottom Bible verse.

Whoa. You mean like the guy from 7. 7. Does he not have anything like that anymore in him? As soon as he lost state, God went away. I couldn't agree more. If you lose state, you're like, I don't believe in God anymore. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

God went away instantly. Were you religious fans when you were a kid? No, never. Never? Even with all that Spanish Catholic shit? I went to Catholic school, but I was the only one who didn't. So in Catholic school in Spain, did they do the same thing to the boys that they do here in the United States? Is it different at Catholic school?

No, same thing. Same rituals. Same rituals. Yeah. What about you, George? Grew up religious. Super religious. Yeah, you know that, right?

A cult. I know, I do. I know, I do. Stop with the Adventist. Were you ever touched by a priest? No. Were you ever touched by a priest? Look at him, dude.

No, no, no. Look at George again. Oh, my God. You can see it now. I saw it right there. He's unfuckable. You think the priests were like next. Yeah, so look at him again, right? And with a straight face, ask him.

With a straight face, ask him. With a straight face, ask him. And then George comes in the room. The priest is, oh, oh, oh. And George comes in, he's like,

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you seriously farting i'm not farting right now no about maybe the fungal the fungal system in the forest what do you know what kind of clouds those are those are hispice hibiscus hibiscus clouds no caused by raindrops nope please don't ask me stuff like that right now how do you not Do you know what kind of clouds those are? Those are hibiscus clouds. No. Caused by raindrops. Nope. Please don't ask me stuff like that right now. How do you not know what those are?

What are they? Cumulus. They're cumulative. They're all accumulative. Yeah, yeah. Those are nimbus. Anyway, let's not talk about that. Let's not talk about that then.

I don't know much about it. Well, don't cut us off at the past when we were really rolling over there. What do you mean mean Just because we were Talking about weird Uncomfortable stuff Doesn't mean we can't Talk about weird Uncomfortable stuff

I'd rather talk about Penises actually You're right That's my number one Go to Yeah Yeah yeah yeah Why is that though

We're fascinated by it Is it my trouble past Do you think that's why You always pull it out Yeah I You know I've been Thinking about lately Why

Because last night I got naked. On stage. Yeah. So in my head I'm like, what do I do to save this? The show. Yeah. When the show was going really awry.

When things are going awry, nudity is always my escape pod. Well, okay. Here's the deal. Here's what you did. I made the joke because we were called back to you taking off your shirt and giving your shirt away. So you gave your shirt away to a girl who aggressively came up and stole it. Okay, can I say this, though?

Stole it. Can I say this? Yeah. That's the second shirt you've given away of mine? Stop. It's because the shirts I'm wearing are like, you know what I mean? Very expensive. Right.

When you give it away to an audience member, I feel guilty. Yeah. And so I just gave away my favorite Bowie shirt. What did she give you in return? Nothing. A tiger belly shirt. No, but that was just gave away my favorite Bowie shirt. What did she give you in return? Nothing. A tiger belly shirt. No, but that was from her boyfriend. One and the same.

They came together with a mission in mind. I make the tiger belly shirts. Well, then now you got one. I made it back. You made it back. I made my money back. You made your money back. Yeah, but I lost the fancy.

Anyway, let's talk about. Full circle. It's a full circle. So you gave away your shirt, which I'll never stop doing at live shows. In fact, be prepared When we do Bad Friends Live On the road next fall You are going to give away a shirt

In every city we go to I'm going to wear terrible shirts In every city No, you better wear cool shirts No You have to That's part of the game So I wear the coolest shirt

That I have And then you'll give it away In every city Oh, fuck It's so fun I don't like it No, I love it Because it gives the fans

Something to take home Why is the food so bad here? The food is pretty bad The food is pretty bad I The food is pretty bad. I mean, it's like... There were eggs and green salsa this morning. Yeah. And I swear to God, it was Ninja Turtle color.

I was like, that's ooze. That's ooze. Yeah. Ninja Turtle ooze. Did I eat it? Yeah. I ate it. You know what they put in my hamburger?

Huh? You know how you go to Mexican restaurants in LA and they have those carrots? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. They're pickled, which are delicious, by the way. Yeah, they're very good. In terms of Mexican, right, things that they've invented. Not on a hamburger. Not on a hamburger.

Not on a hamburger. But let me say, in terms of the things, let's celebrate Mexico. Let's talk about the things that they have given us. Yeah. This planet. Yeah. And this is a great segment. Okay.

Let's give it up for Mexico. El mariachi. What a great instrument. What great outfits. Tacos. Tacos is a huge one. My bad. I love tacos. That could be number one, dude. That might be number one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, burritos and tacos are hand in hand. Yeah, yeah.

That's a great noise. In terms of noises, is one of the best like arbitrary, random things that you could say in a celebratory environment. You know what my best noise is that they gave us?

What? Ah-ha! That's such a good, right. Ah-ha! Right. It's a car starting. And this is just the bass beat of bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum,

right? Such a great foundation. Because you can put horns on top. You can put horns like... And then do one of your noises. Right, number one hit. La Bamba, man. Will you shake it for a second while I do that?

I had a dream too, Richie. Do you remember that? La Bamba. That poor fucking cartoonist. The brother. Anyway, my point is that... Let's talk about Mexico more. too, Richie. Do you remember that? In La Bamba? La Bamba. That poor fucking cartoonist. The brother. Anyway, my point is that let's talk about Mexico more. Wait, hold on.

I want to do this. Let's guess words that... Andres, tell us a word and we'll try to guess what it is in Spanish. Or vice versa. Give us a Spanish word and we'll try to guess

what that means in English. I'll start. I'll give you one. No, let him do it. Playa? I know what it is. Playground. Close. Playa. I know it it is. Playground. Close.

Playa. I know it. It's like... A court. Like a little court. Like an area of land. We're very close to it. Jungle.

Plateau. With the water. Forest. Beach. Yes. Playa's beach? Yes. Fuck, we should definitely know that one.

This place is called Playa something. Yes. I didn't know that. I didn't know that either. Okay, i need to see one yeah let's go to the playa what what say it again that's young that's jungle that that was too close give us something way out of the way george if you have one whisper it to him wait wait can i just ask another question so hungla is spelled jungle like jungle right this is how would i want to know about language okay no let me ask you about language i know watch yeah all right watch us do an ad read for babble right all right so in english obviously english it's jungle right yeah so at some point did the languages mix and they took jungle and they just said let's just not create a word for

jungle let's just say it differently. You know Latin, right? You know things are derived from Latin. Well, that's the chain of thought. You already know. You know the answer. That's true. Give me another word. Here's one that always messed me up in Argentina.

Lohroling. Say it again. Lohroling. Lohroling. Can you spell the word can you spell the word please

l-o-s loch r-o-l-l-i-n-g lochroling yes it spells lochroling uh

usually in the context is that what you do on ecstasy when you're down there lochroling te gusta lochroling

I am lochroling do you like lochroling I am lochroling on MDMA what is lochroling you think lochroling come on Bob I am Los Rolling. Do you like Los Rolling? I am Los Rolling on MDMA. What is Los Rolling, you think? Los Rolling. Come on, Bob.

I don't know. I know. When I hear it, it makes sense to me. I want to create a word right now, though. Is it a product? Can I create a word right now? Is it an action or a verb? The Rolling Stones.

What? I said the same thing twice. The Rolling Stones. The word is Los Rolling. The most confusing things are when they're saying things in English. Yeah. Like, do you like Los Beatles? The Beatles. Yeah, that I understand.

Los Beatles. Los Rolling. That's the rolling stones. It's just the rolling. Rem. R-E-M is Rem. So stupid. That's so funny.

I created a word. Yes. What is the word? So a long time ago, the word is alono say it again alono spell the word it's like a l o n o it's what you are all the time no alono so when my father used to take me to in high school or in middle school he used to take me to korea LA and we would go to spas. Yeah. And in Korean spas, there's a lot of old Korean men there and they get naked.

Yeah. And they do stretches. Yeah. And one day my dad was stretching and I saw an area of his body that I wasn't meant to see. His butthole. No. Close though. His like the undercarriage, like between his butthole. No. Close, though. His, like, the undercarriage, like, between his butthole and his taint?

And what do they call that taint? Taint or Nifkin or Gooch or Grundle. All my dad's taint, though, was one, I'm not lying. Oh, my God. Skin tag. Oh! One. And I used to call it a Lono. As a kid, I used to call it a Lono.

A Lono. did he know that and alono would say stuff to me in my mind in the middle of the night no just if i saw him at the spa i could hear him go help right i scared yeah i scared yeah yeah he's dark i always want to go well why don't you just move up to the neck with the other skin tag? Get up there. Yeah, you know what I mean? Why go down there in the darkest, saddest place? Well, that's where they start. And if they have enough passion to drive.

Yeah, he's a lazy. He didn't crawl up the... Lazy alono. Lazy alono. What's the word lazy in Spanish? Pago. Pago? Pago alono?

Yeah. Pago alono. So a little skin tag Alono Why Do you have skin tags From your Like your dad Yeah yeah

There's one on your neck right Thank you No no no I have them I have them under my armpit You're welcome Are you gonna get them Under your face

On your face Did your dad have them On his face Yeah he did Cause some Koreans Have them on their face Yeah yeah yeah I almost asked

When they were Cremating my dad Like that one Is to keep Alono Would that be Can you suggest that Like at 100% When they're doing the body I almost asked when they were cremating my dad. Like that one. Is to keep Alono. Can you suggest that? 100%. When they're doing the body and go, hey, how do you say it? Like you're the, what do you call him?

I'm a... Mortician? Mortician. Yeah, yeah, okay, go ahead. Hey, my dad, I know you. I know, God bless. I'm so sorry about your father, yeah. Yeah, you're doing the...

The amount of feces that were still left inside his intestines was insane. Yeah, he's a poo master. Larger than we've... He was a poo master. It was insane. God bless. I'm so sorry about your father. Yeah. You're doing the- The amount of feces that were still left inside his intestines was insane. Yeah. He's a poo master. He was a poo master. It was insane. All right. We did clean him out though. He's a poo master.

He's a poo master. Yeah. Did you clean him out? It took us about an hour and a half. That's fine. Do whatever you want, by the way, because we're closing that sucker. Anything? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But- Mike, we can do whatever we want to the body. Yeah. But FYI. FYI, right? Yeah. I don't know if you know. It's just fine.

You know what I mean? But did you do some of the back work? On his back? Yeah. Of course. Do you do below the back or... His tush? Yeah.

I did his tush. Yeah. Did you open it? Sure did. You have to open, right? Yeah, I opened it wide up. Did you see Alono? Are you talking about the... The skin tag. The sole skin open, right? Yeah, I open it wide up. Did you see Alono? Are you talking about the soul skin tag down there?

Yeah. We kept it. Did you really? Mike, bring out Alono! Yeah, yeah. We have it. Oh, that's amazing. Do you want it?

What if Alono, for some reason, once you detach them, he starts growing? His legs? And he comes like, hey! Hey, Bobby! Do you have all all your dad still I have I have his ashes yeah are you gonna dump him somewhere

no really do you think they're happier that way I think it's to be dumped hmm don't you think it's to be dumped here's the reason why you dump them in a place

that they loved my dad didn't love anywhere that's the problem honestly you know what there's not a place you know what your dad would love if we hit you with his ashes.

That's hilarious. It would make him feel at home, right? Yeah. Like he's in heaven probably going, whoa, something going on. I feel good. We put him in a sock and we just hit you with it. And he looks down and his spirit is... His spirit is like a fucking warrior. I would love that.

You want to talk about the movie? Yeah. Okay, so fine. Let's announce to the fans. We're doing... Here it is. We're doing The Bottom of Turtle Island in Spain. For real.

We're going to do it for real. We're putting together everything we need to put together. Yeah. And we're going to actually try to do it. Are you excited, fans? Fancy's going to direct. Very excited. Do we trust him?

Can you do it? I can do it. But have you seen anything that he's directed did you watch his movie well he did scrap me in a sketch he was okay i remember pretty good yeah really good i mean yeah all right i love of all the guys okay but i love your friend coming to your fucking defense that was nice of all the guys that you of all the guys that you guys went to school with, do you think he's one of the top tier guys that you went to school with? Truly. Yeah. Wow.

And his skill set by far the highest is directing, yeah? The highest what? The highest of his skill sets is directing or no? Yes. Yeah? Yeah. What's the highest of your skill set, George? Producing.

Producing. Do you think George is a good producer? I think he's a great producer. He really is. He really is. I'll tell you why. And I don't like giving him credit. Can really is. He really is. And I don't like giving him credit. Can I tell you why? You know why I don't like giving him credit? Because he gets it a lot.

He has a lot of people going, George, you do great. By the way, he's got no fans down here. It's amazing. The amount of fans that have said hi to Fancy B He makes me say every time they yell Fancy he makes me say, he made me. He made me. The amount of fans that have been like, fancy.

And then I go, look at George's here. And they go, hey, George, fancy. Have you heard of what a Q rating is? No. So a Q rating. Let's hold for a wagon. What is that? What the fuck is that?

Weight of Q rating? Like Q rating. No, Q rating. Q rating. Oh, Q rating. q rating yeah yeah yeah yeah go ahead so basically in television shows where they test people right uh and over the years you know like if you see a guy on a pilot or he gets a sitcom that gets canceled really quick his q rating goes up the next time he gets a thing basically it's like test results. Correct. Right. And, um, you're curating is so much more advanced than Georgia's.

Wow. In terms of likability. Whoa. It's a scientific fact. Tested fact. It's a fact. This isn't, this is not,

this is, and it has to do with his size. It has to do with his voice. It has to do with his weaselness. It's very like, you know, it's like a cartoony Disney rat

yeah I mean like a singing rat that comes in a tuxedo yeah exactly we have to shoot an episode yeah he's a little singing rat there's always like a spotlight when he's on the cartoon right he does a funny thing

the kids love it. They love it. Look at the loser. They see that out loud in the theater, which is the parents are like, oh, you're loud. Because he is such a loser. We got to give him one compliment, though. He's been getting, it's been bad in the Cancun. Oh, really? No one's come up to him and said hi.

Who? George, nobody said hi. Oh, give George a compliment. Just one small one. Nobody said hi. Dude, people are celebrating Fancy B, taking pictures. George, have you taken any photos with anybody? I jumped in behind Andres once. He jumped in a photo.

He had to jump in somebody else's photo. I think they framed me out. How many photos have you taken, Fancy? Be genuine. Be genuine. A few. A few. Well, he did something because I've been observing him. And outside the show before we started, he was outside. You noticed he was never inside the

tent. He was always outside. I noticed. And if you could look at his hands, you could see an invisible fishing rod. And he was fishing for compliments out there. We should tell the audience. This is something that's never going to get seen.

It was so sad to see this. This is what I saw. Him go, and he's just This is something that's never going to get seen. It was so sad to see this. This is what I saw. Right? Him go. Right? And he's just out there. And everyone's like, that's a swimming pool. There's nothing in there. Trust me. He was fishing.

But he was out there fishing for hours. It was really sad. And you know what's so funny? When he introduced us, he went out there beforehand to turn on the camera. George is already out there. I know what that is. Just so they go fancy. They lost it. And I said, fancy, what are we doing? He goes, I have to turn on

the camera. And I said, isn't George out there? And he goes, yeah, but I have to. George was out there? Yeah, George is already out there. It's so weird. I didn't think he was out there. Didn't hear one person. No one said anything. Hola. Bien, bien. Que tal, amigo? Number one. One. One. One. Hola, bien, bien, que tal amigo?

Love, Harper, my, that's right. That's great. Well, we have the big ones. Andreas, give him a round of applause. Give him a round of applause. Hey guys Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you

Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you

Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you

Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you

Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you

Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you

Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you. I'm not gonna lie, my legs are shaking. Thank you all for coming to Mexico to see us, it's our first show live ever and we're very excited. I didn't realize you guys were here to speak, and thank you. So, without farting at you, let's introduce the stars of Bad Friends, Bobby Lee and Andrew Santino. Canada dry It's never been more dry

Bobby had a can of Canada dry And we decided to make a little song about it We moved inside because the sun got way Way too hot Canada dry It's never been more dry. That's our early 2000s. When was that?

Was that early 2000s? Yeah. Like when 82 and all that stuff? Yeah. All the small things. Those guys made some really good hits though. They did and they're all from my area. They're from San Diego.

From Poway specifically. Yeah, they went to high school with you. What? They went to high school with you. Didn't know them specifically, but you know, they did historically. What what's going on man what is going on what is going on so um are you gonna come swimming with me in the ocean or not

for real you know because you said there were penguins penguins in the ocean no you said some sort of animal yeah there's penguins out there no no what kind of animal was it tortoises no that we saw a stingray today. That's the one. That's the one that killed the Englishman? That killed Steve Irwin. Is he English? He's Australian.

You know who I'm talking about? Same and same. Gouged out. Right. Stingray right through his butt. Gouged his shit out. Kind of cool. I know.

That's why I will not be going. Oh, dude. We swam up to you. We touched it. I'm not as qualified as the Englishman, Stevie Irwin. Clearly, dude, we swam up to you. We touched it. I'm not as qualified as the Englishman Stevie Erwin. Clearly he wasn't either. I know. My point is, is that he's a professional

and he got gouged out. He got murked. But what I'm asking you. No, but it was I think it's a manta ray. There's a big difference. I think it was a manta ray. Well, then say it right, you fuck face. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Sorry. Manta Ray. I mean, Stingray, Manta Ray, they're two different things, you fucktard. No, this was a Stingray. Never mind. You can't say that?

You can't say fucktard? Yeah, you can. I will. No, this was a Stingray. And I did it. This was this. This was a Stingray. Yeah, so no, I will not be going into the Holy Grail.

Yeah, but check it. Okay, check it out. If I get gouged out, you promise me I won't get gouged out? Promise. On our friendship. You won't. All right, but if I do, what do I get? A new cas, you promise me I won't get gouged out? Promise. On our friendship. You won't. All right, but if I do, what do I get? A new casket.

No, no, no. If I get attacked and get gouged out by one of those little muskrats, right? Yeah. What will I get? Ten grand cash. I'll give you ten grand. Okay, so tomorrow. Tomorrow we're swimming.

I'm going to be fucking with them then. No, that's not the deal. Yeah. Hold on. I want the ten grand on Are all stingrays Deadly No there's no way Stingrays are flat disc shaped creatures

With fins Generally aren't dangerous In fact they have a reputation for being gentle See they call them puppies of the sea You've never heard of that before I love the puppies of the sea but my point is Knowing me I don't know how they lay You know if they lay on their side

No no Do they lay on their backs And they put their little Look Do they lay when they sleep No their backs are up When they swim and they sleep and then they settle down to the bottom I don't think they ever go on their back and look up when they swim and they sleep and then they settle down to the bottom of the earth I don't

think they ever go on their back and look up they can't close their eyes and go look at my dick well they don't they don't have dicks they don't have dicks oh wait do stingrays

have penises yeah well google that that's more important stingrays harbor and we'll figure out a way to make it gay so fatal stingray in a second so you know I mean fatal

stingray attacks on humans are exceedingly rare only two have been reported In Australian waters Since 1945 Oh that's so rare Both victims were stung In the chest

Just like Irwin It was extremely rare Do stingrays have penises That's the most important one Most important question by far So how do you A sexual maturity Male stingrays have

External sexual organs Called claspers Which are visible Near the base of the tail Oh that seems aggressive They have claspers Their penises Fucking grab onto the vagina. That felt so good.

You want me to do it again? I'm a stingray. Yeah, yeah. Ow! That's what he does. He clasps it. Don't do it on my dick. Okay, sorry, sorry.

I'll do it. Yeah, that's crazy. They have claspers, and what they do is... So once it's in, it's in? They have two penis-like organisms that lie within modified pelvic fins they have two dicks stingrays have double dicks right double dicks how about mad if we were

stingrays how mad would you be if if as a joke i just clasped onto your butthole see i did that yeah i knew the angle i was gonna say how funny it would be if you were stingray and one of your penises was super huge and the other one was extremely small. And they made fun of you for not having two equal sized penises. Or you can do jokes like, my dad's black and my mom's Asian. Yeah, I'm a half half. I'm a half stingray. Yeah, yeah. I'm a...

I don't know. I'm sure there's more better jokes. Eric Griffin is our stingray friend. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So if it's small right is that what you're saying what where's the cum

where's the cum at it comes out of their penis they have double penises they have two penises so it's like a two-on-one storage situation when one is tired the other one goes to work

right because our cum is in our sack correct okay it's not in the penis area it ends up in there at some point

yeah it goes up there let me have a better more specific question yeah it takes the elevator it goes up there. We can have a more specific question. Yeah. It takes the elevator and goes, coming up! Yeah. You know how sometimes, you know, you ejaculate? Hmm.

And how good does that feel? This is a good end of the episode. Yeah. You know how you ejaculate? I do know. Right. And so then, you know, after you masturbate, or you have sex with a woman, or a man, whatever your thing is, and then you go, oh, I gotta go pee, right? and then when you pee it's sprays like in 12 different areas funny yeah when you

clogged up the hose yeah right everywhere right and you don't give a fuck you just do the best you can yeah well i usually pee in the shower oh really for that very reason but it's spray so what you're what what what that means is that there's some clogging going on. Clogination, yeah. Clogination going on. Correct. Right? So when does that go away?

The clogging? Yeah. It eventually sprays away and then you're done. Are you still clogged? Are you still clogged? No, no. Have you been clogged for a long time? I've been clogged for like six months.

What? I've been spraying all over my body. We've got to go to the doctor. Is that what it is? Yeah, we've we gotta go to the doctor is that what it is yeah we gotta go to the doctor i think my shit just dried like some sort of adhesive or some like like super glue got on there cement yeah yeah well maybe you're but that's permanent yeah but it sprays in 50 is that a problem still yeah like right now if you go pee it does that 15 different areas and there's blood in the pee that's fine, I think. All right. I think that one's not a big deal.

You know what? If a third thing happens, then I'll go. Yeah. Wait till the end. Wait till something really happens. Yeah. Something like a foot falls off. Have you ever had blood in your pee?

Oh, yeah. And in my poo. I've had poop blood in both areas. This is gross. Why? It's just nasty. But speaking of which, what did you come to the door with this morning when i when i said hello i knocked on the door go ahead you say i knocked the door and bobby goes i'm in the bathroom and i go i go i clean your room and he goes

can i say from my point of view sure all right so this is from my point of view yeah right yeah i literally wake up and i get woken up how knock knock knock on the door no no i'm asking you how did i wake up why did what what was the thing that caused me to wake up a phone call no a poo oh you had a shit yeah yeah right your body my body's goes right i get to the edge of the bed right and like a robot and i do this if you had a fucking camera in the in the hotel room please don't have a camera in the in the bathroom right but you would see me walk like a robot. Right? So I'm taking a poo.

Must shit. Right? And as soon as the turtle's face comes out of the little hole, I hear, Nom, nom, nom, nom. Housekeeping. That was you, right? I went, I went. No, I said, I got to clean the room.

I got to clean the room. I go, I'm taking a shit, I said. And then I go to clean the room. I got to clean the room. I go, I'm taking a shit, I said. And then I go, it's okay. I got to clean. Now, I don't know about you, but in my day, like during the day, I have these events that I look forward to. Just hear me out. Taking a shit is one of them. Taking a shit is one of them.

What's the other one? The wind blowing in my face on the beach. You hate the beach i know but i love it okay i love that part of it okay my point is is that um i was taking a poo one of my favorite things in the whole world you interrupted me correct i was in a bad mood because i had not drinking any coffee so i opened the door and I stick something out. What was it? Toilet paper. With what? Poop on it.

Good morning. That was your good morning to me. Good morning. Will you swim with me tomorrow, though, for real? With the manta rays, for sure. You promise? Yeah. Lie.

Can you do me a favor? What, George? Get me toilet... Not toilet paper. Get me a favor? What, George? Get me toilet... Not toilet paper. Get me a bathing suit. You didn't bring a bathing suit to the fucking resort, beach resort? I was in Hawaii too for a week.

I never bring it. Why? There's no need. There's no need, Fancy? Do you have a bathing suit? Fancy didn't bring a bathing suit. You didn't bring a bathing suit. You're a loser.

What do you mean you didn't bring a bathing suit? I came to work. I need a medium bathing suit. You came to work? I don't buy it. I just don't know what to get. You came to work, George? He was getting trashed the last two nights.

Came to work. It's not going to happen. Canada dry. How did it go? It went, Canada dry. It's never been more dry. Oh, that's right. That's it.

We have a Rudy. Didn't Rudy want to say something? Oh, my God. Oh, also. Did you see the video? Hi to Bobby. Hi to Andrew. Oh my god.

Have you seen the video? Hi to Bobby. Hi to Andrew. Good luck in performing in the Just for Laughs crowd in Cancun. I hope you have a good time. I miss Andreas and George already. And I hope Jim Jeffries will be a good Rudy as a fill-in. Okay, bye.

Thank you for being a bad friend! Here we go. What I want, you got, and it might be hard to handle. What I want, you've got, in my big heart to handle. Dude, what are you doing? Give me the phone. I'm going to do it as Fancy B.

Give me the phone right now. I'm going to do it as how Fancy B does it. What I want, you've got, and it might be hard to handle. But like a flame burns a candle. It sounds dumb. Like a candle fears the flame. Yeah, no one's dancing. What I've got

is stock full of thoughts and dreams. Let's get up. We're gonna, this is, we both have to have to just our phones out. Yeah, that's fine. That's fine.

All right, how about this? Let me try one. Yeah, do fancy. No, I wanna do my own. Okay. What I want, you've got. It might be hard to handle. But like the flame

that burns the candle The candle feeds the flame Well, well, well, you You make my dreams come true Well, well, well, you You make my dreams come true. You make my dreams come true. My back, my back, my back.

Yeah! Yeah! Thank you, guys. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. Thank you, guys. I love you, Joe Tito. I love you, man. I love you. I love you. I love you.